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chevelleneech · 1 year ago

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I agree with somethings for sure, but I also think a lot of the “worry” on both sides comes from people having such strong bias for their preferred pairing.

I would prefer Buddie, but I am also currently enjoying Buck and Tommy. However, I think the biggest reason people view BuckTommy as potential endgame, is because queer characters very rarely get to have multiple partners on screen unless they are written as promiscuous. But even within the 911 universe, none of the queer characters date around. Hen and Karen are married, Josh is perpetually single, while TK and Carlos, who were set since the Lone Star pilot, are now married. The only gay man to date, was Michael and I think he only had two maybe three boyfriends, only because I think they were looking for an actor who could commit to a contract. David was the third, and they’re now married. Hell, even in Station 19 the bisexual woman slept around until she found her wife (I think they got married), while the gay guy mourned his dead husband for a while only to now be a multi-cheater (from what I’ve seen).

As such, this is why I think Buck’s coming out feels odd to me. Because he is a budding serial monogamist who is now backed into a tired trope that does not allow him space to freely date. At the same time, we have already seen him sleeping around and attempting to find The One. Now, he’s with a man, and because on screen queer relationships after often treated as “Oh, my past partners didn’t work because I didn’t know I only wanted this partner!” it is unlikely we’ll see him have multiple male partners. Tommy has to be The One, because it’s what the trope dictates as well as it’s what a season seven love interest usually means anyway.

Not that a s7 Love Interest is a thing, but very rarely do shows add in love interests they don’t plan to have stick around so late in the game. I do think the show will get at least 10 seasons, but we won’t know that until we do. Which is why it makes sense in theory for Tommy to just be his final partner. However… Tommy and Marisol are essentially on the same playing field, people just don’t want to admit it.

Tommy has a last name, yes, but all we know about him is that he is a former army pilot who was a closeted and rude firefighter during his early to mid 20s, and now he’s an out search and rescue pilot. Which is fine. I have no issues with that level of backstory for where we’re at in their relationship. But I also do not have an issue with how little we know about Marisol right now. It’s less than we know about Tommy, but overall blank enough for Tim to build upon, because he didn't know what to do with her. She is a home renovator who attempted to be a nun, but left the convent behind.

Another thing I don’t think people are taking into consideration, is that both Tommy and Marisol are in s7, solely because Tim Minear didn’t want to start at zero again. He said himself he didn’t drop Marisol because he didn’t want Buck and Eddie to be single at the same time again as we started a new season. He also said he didn’t want to create a new character for the sole purpose of them being Buck’s bisexual awakening, and that he didn’t want to have it be a character disconnected from the core group, because as with Abby, it was too difficult to have them intersect.

So these aren’t storylines that have naturally progressed to where they currently are. Things have been forced, because they were easier to do for the show runner and writers. Which is also fine. Sometimes you have to make do with whatever is easiest, then build from there. The thing is, with both Buck and Eddie, the only thing either of them have yet to experience in a relationship is “endgame.” So Tim has to make the ultimate decision of either having both of their partners stay, both of them leave, or one goes while the other stays.

Either way, the writers have to craft an actual believable romance for Buck and Eddie. Because no matter what anyone says about Tommy being perfect for Buck, he hasn’t done anything to showcase that. Neither has Marisol. She’s showing as much grace and comfort to Eddie as Tommy has shown to Buck, but nothing about either pairing has been romantically charged. BuckTommy is equally as potentially endgame as EddieMarisol, simply because in my opinion, it’s the most realistic outcome based on the very real possibility the show ends at 10 seasons, tv history, and the things Tim said he doesn’t want to revisit.

So if s10 is the last, trying to ignite one or two brand new love interests who feel fleshed out and cared for by viewers will take time away from further fleshing out and tying up storylines for established beloved main characters. Leaving the only other options being Buddie becomes canon or one or both of them end the series single.

And I say Buddie is one of the only other options, because while they have a beautiful platonic friendship, they are also fleshed out and established as individual characters, and don’t require extra writing to involve them in the core group. And one of them being single would at least show the other is capable of being written as happy and in love, despite what shippers want. Whereas both of them being single would leave too much room for people to question why they were the only two mains written as having never found The One.

That said, the reason I don’t see Buddie being endgame is because historically, it’s not a thing that happens. Two well established same sex characters don’t often end a series dating. It’s either given as a last hurrah (Korra), mentioned as a long-held want (Castiel), or said to have been what the creator wanted after the fact (Dumbledore). All of which is alright, you know? Everything has its own context, but I don’t see ABC bothering to push their boundary any further when Henren and BuckTommy are technically enough to do the heavy lifting of the current expectations from the newer eyes on the show.

Henren is established and in love and have been married for years, while Buck and Tommy have likely three more seasons (8, 9, and 10) to develop into an established and longterm couple. So why would the network have them split up? Unless it has already been decided with an absolute “Yes”, that Buck and Eddie will get together at some point in s8, and stay together for the remainder of the series. Or one of them (likely Eddie, because again, Buck can no longer be promiscuous) date around yet otherwise stay single for the remaining seasons.

Here's where I am with Buddie.

[CW: I am using the Buddie tag on this post, even though the gist of it is that I'm increasingly doubtful that it'll ever happen. This is NOT an anti-Buddie essay. If you'd rather not read about this topic, please keep scrolling. The bulk of the essay is behind the cut.]

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I've thought a lot about this over the weeks since 7x04 aired. It's not a secret that I'm wildly enthusiastic about the BuckTommy pairing (as are many fans) but what does that mean for my thoughts and opinions about Buddie, a pairing I still love and for which I am still writing fic (slowly but surely…)?

It's become increasingly difficult to reconcile hopes for Buddie with dread for a BuckTommy breakup, but if the show managed to pull off a breakup that did not destroy me, I would still be all in for a Buddie endgame.

But more and more, I don't think it's in the cards, and I'm increasingly okay with that.

First off, I know it's a common assumption that Buck and Tommy have an expiration date, and that it cannot last. That may very well be the case, but…the show is not acting like it, nor are they presenting this arc as if it's short-lived. Episodes 4-6, while also being about other things (especially the amazing Madney wedding plot in 6) were also a bit of a trilogy about Buck discovering his sexuality and taking tentative steps into a relationship with another man. It didn't go…particularly smoothly, but the events of 7x06 where they were concerned had a completely different tone. They had a much more settled vibe in the karaoke club scenes, from Tommy's very boyfriendly "check-in" look before he had to leave, to Buck's casual/distracted "Be safe" (as if he's said this before) and just how they spoke to each other and touched each other was much more comfortable than in the coffee meetup. Which makes me think it's been a few weeks and they've seen each other a few times in the interim.

And then that kiss. Putting aside that it was juxtaposed with a literal wedding kiss, there was nothing uncertain or hesitant about it. It felt like a very arc-capping kiss, coupled with the reveal to the rest of Buck's friends and family, and the clear message was "Okay, they're done 'getting together' now, they are together and will be together going forward, even if we don't see Tommy every episode (much as we don't see Karen every episode)." We know Tommy will be around through the end of S8, if not in every remaining episode. After that, we'll see.

A lot of fans have viewed one of the guys coming out as queer to be a first step towards a Buddie future, but I have to say I've never been super comfortable with that logic. I've always thought that if they were going to get together, or both be revealed to be queer, it would have to be at the same time, with each other, via them getting together. The minute they pulled the trigger on Bisexual Buck, I immediately thought that this made Buddie far less likely. Why?

Because it would mean that the writers/showrunners would be making BOTH their "hot younger firefighter" characters queer…separately. In separate storylines. Distinct from each other. And I just don't see that happening. I'm not saying it SHOULDN'T happen. I'd be over the moon. I'm saying I think that's unlikely.

As much as it pains me to say it, I think Eddie will be written as straight and will continue to be written as straight. I don't disagree with the many examples of queer coding we've all seen - the problem is all of them can be just as easily interpreted as arising from a different trauma. Almost everything we've seen from him that could very legitimately be read as breadcrumbs for a queer identity for him could also be rooted in his trauma over Shannon's death, his family trauma, his PTSD, or his general anxiety over being enough for people. He can be read as having sexuality crises. But he can also be read as having other crises with the same results.

I'm not seeing a sexuality crisis for Eddie in the future. I just don't feel like that's where they're taking him. They're taking him somewhere -- he's got storylines coming up -- but I think they're going to have to do with his family, possibly his friendship with Buck, maybe his relationship (I think we can all agree Marisol isn't going to last, she's like the anti-Tommy in that she's been around way longer but has infinitely less of a presence), and Christopher. That's a lot to deal with just right there. If I'm wrong, I will be delighted to be wrong.

But.

I think the show will continue to prioritize and showcase Buck and Eddie's very deep and emotional friendship, which is revolutionary in its own quiet way. Another thing that makes me think they're setting Tommy up to be a long term love interest is that one of the first things they did with him was affirm that he will not come between Buck and Eddie, give him his own relationship with Eddie and Chris, and have him show that he understands and respects the depth of their bond. Not to mention they've integrated him with the firefam. No other of Buck's love interests have gotten this treatment (Taylor had the most contact with the firefam, but I don't think anyone would say she was integrated, LOL). And it shows how committed they are to maintaining Buck and Eddie's friendship as a key emotional element of the show. Tim has also said this, repeatedly.

People often say that there's no explanation for how Buck and Eddie are with each other if it's not romantic - I read a fantastic essay that pointed out that this statement is the reason their platonic friendship IS so important. Men should be able to be vulnerable and loving with each other without it being romantic, as women can be. If we're unable to see a loving friendship without interpreting it as romantic or sexual, what does that say about the kind of male friendships we see everywhere, that makes this one so different?

I know this is an old anti-Buddie argument and I'm not anti-Buddie nor do I mean it's wrong to see it as romantic. I still do. I'm saying if it's not, if it never is, what it is, is already valuable and special, especially when one of them is now openly queer and dating a man.

Anyway. That's where I am with it, and my interpretation of where the show is with it.

#sorry it’s long

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drabbles-mc · 3 years ago

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A Little Closer

Happy Lowman x F!Reader

Request by @shinypeachkitten: Can you do a Happy Lowman smut where he Just simply make love to you? We know he is rough and all. But I would love to read his soft side in this

Warnings: 18+ like everything on this blog, alcohol, light angst, canon compliance/post s7 finale, unprotected sex, fingering

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: My first time writing smut for Happy and I kinda like that it was a soft scenario. Not that you need to read it, but I picture this taking place shortly after All That’s Left, hence the sad feels lol. Also, idk if you guys are interested but this was also inspired by the song Come A Little Closer by Dierks Bentley. We are full of fun facts today haha. Hope you enjoy! xo

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The past couple of weeks had been showing you a side to Happy that you hadn’t seen before. For all of the amazing qualities that he had, all of the things that made you love him, he wasn’t the kind of man to ever really show his emotions. Good, bad, or indifferent, whatever he expressed was always a watered-down version of whatever he was actually feeling. You knew that was just how he operated—it wasn’t something that was going to change so you didn’t try.

In the days and weeks following the most volatile day of SAMCRO, though, there was a shift in Happy. He’d come home to you and cried one night, and from there on out it was like the two of you had shifted into a new chapter of a book. Things were similar, but definitely not the same.

He was home more often, as often as he could be, and softer with you behind closed doors. He wasn’t ever the kind of man to ignore you—you were always taken care of. You thought that maybe everything going on with the club was a wakeup call, thinking that this was his version of a mid-life crisis of sorts. He still didn’t say much about anything, even when you asked, but it was almost like he felt more. You didn’t mind it, but you just hoped that he knew that it wasn’t like you were going anywhere. You promised him that whatever it was, the two of you would figure it out, and you meant that.

You got home from work one night and saw his bike already parked in the driveway. Very rarely did he ever beat you home. Your brows furrowed, mind already going to the worst-case scenarios as you made your way up the driveway. With the way things had gone over the last couple of years, you started realizing that it was better to expect the worst rather than hope for the best.

Unlocking and pushing the door open, you called out for him, “Happy?”

He was standing at the kitchen counter, popping the top of a beer bottle as he turned around to face you, “Yea?”

Toeing off your shoes, you tossed your bag to the side as you walked over to him, “You’re home early.”

He nodded, pulling you so that you were tucked against his chest, “Just wanted to be home.”

You inhaled deeply, soaking up the scent of him, “Rough day?”

He gave a noncommittal grunt in response as he wrapped one arm tighter around you, using the other to lift the beer bottle to his lips. You knew that was all the response you were going to get out of him for the time being.

“Gimme a sip,” your tone was playful as you swiped the bottle from his hand.

He chuckled, watching you intently as you tipped it back, pressing the cold glass to your lips. When you looked back at him, you saw the way that his demeanor was shifting. He pulled you a little tighter, fingertips pressing a little harder into your back to keep you close. Desire darkened his eyes for a moment, but then it softened into something else, something with a little less hunger and a little more longing.

Handing him the bottle back, you gently cupped his chin, “C’mere,” you tugged him towards you and lightly pressed your lips to his. He softened into you the second you kissed him, both arms looping around you. Your hand slid from his chin up to his cheek before pulling back and looking at him, “You can talk to me, you know.”

He nodded, “I know.”

“You okay?” you hoped that he wasn’t going to lie to your face point-blank.

He rested his forehead against yours with a sigh, “Working on it.”

That was about as honest as it could get. All any of you seemed to be doing these days was working on trying to be okay. You traced your thumb along his cheek, “Thank you.”

You felt his hand move along your back followed by the sound of the beer bottle clinking against the counter. The two of you had hardly put a dent in it, but you could tell by the rise and fall of his chest against yours that it was the least of his concerns right now. He shifted you carefully, pressing you back against the counter and gripping the edges of it on either side of you. His lips were impossibly close to yours but still not quite touching, his arms and legs boxing you in against the cool granite behind you. Still, even caged in, feeling the heat of his breath flush against your skin, there was something gentle about it all.

It didn’t feel dominating like it had in the past, despite the position he had you in. The tiny gap between your lips and his was filled with his silent pleas to tell him that it was okay, that you wanted him. The lack of contact had its own kind of softness.

“I love you,” if the house hadn’t been silent, he wouldn’t have been able to hear you.

His body eased with relief as he leaned in and caught your lips in a deep kiss. He pressed his body to yours, chest to chest as he tightened his grip on the edge of the counter, like he didn’t trust himself to touch you for fear that he might break, not you. You let yourself fold underneath the pressure, leaning back. Your hands started on his shoulders before slowly sliding down his arms until they reached his hands. Interlocking your fingers with his, you gave his hands a light squeeze.

He met your grip, squeezing back with the same intensity as he pressed his lips harder against yours. You could tell from the desperation of his movements that he was looking for something to anchor him, and you were more than happy to be that for him.

Prying his lips away from yours, he stepped back and tugged you with him, “Come on.”

He pulled you so that you were in front of him, your back pressed against his chest. With each step the two of you took, he pressed another kiss to your neck, your ear, your shoulder, anywhere he could reach. His hands slipped easily into the pockets of the skirt you were wearing, using the leverage to make sure you stayed pinned to him.

Even though it was just the two of you in the house, and it was really only ever the two of you, he kicked the door shut once you’d both crossed the threshold of the bedroom. Sliding his hands out of your pockets, he spun you around so that you were facing him, wasting no time as he cupped the side of your face and kissed you on the lips, soft and slow and full of need. You wrapped your arms around his waist, hands slipping beneath the fabric of his shirt and trailing lightly up and down the warm skin of his back.

The longer you kissed him, the more you noticed every little shift in the rest of his body. His breathing sped up, his hand that wasn’t delicately holding your cheek came to rest on your hip. Inch by inch he walked you back towards the bed, not taking his lips off of yours the entire time. You felt the backs of your calves brush against the side of your bed and you fought the urge to fall back onto the mattress.

His grip on your hip tightened, his other hand sliding down from your cheek to the side of your throat. His fingers began to tighten, and while you didn’t mind it, you knew that it wasn’t really what he was looking for.

Pulling out of what felt like a blissful, never-ending kiss, you fought to catch your breath as you waited for Happy to look at you, “Hey,” your voice was soft as you gripped lightly onto his biceps, “I’m not going anywhere. We’re okay.”

The tension melted out of his body at your words, his grip loosening immediately. Resting his forehead back against yours, he let his hand slide from your hip to the back of your skirt, easily pulling the zipper down and letting the fabric pool on the floor around your feet. His hands gently explored all the newly exposed skin, fingertips skimming over the waistband of your panties as he kissed you again. His hands found their way to the front of your shirt, and he began undoing the buttons of your blouse with relaxed, expert precision. He easily pushed the thin fabric off your shoulders and let it join your discarded skirt on the floor.

In return, you lightly tangled your fingers into the bottom hem of his shirt and pushed it up his torso, letting him pull it off the rest of the way and toss it to the side. In a quick, gentle motion he lifted you off the ground and laid you down on the bed. Before you could blink he was settled over you, forearms braced on either side of your head as he leaned in and kissed you.

You could feel the tension in his body, like he was fighting to have restraint and be soft. He wasn’t incapable of it, but it wasn’t what came naturally to him. It was what he needed though, and you knew that. Sliding your hands up his arms and across his shoulders, you stopped when they were cupping the sides of his face. Running your thumbs along his cheekbones, you felt the tension slowly starting to disappear, his muscles relaxing as he melted into you.

Shifting his weight, he slowly brought one hand down your chest, fingertips feather-light and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. They traveled over the fabric of your bra and continued down your stomach before reaching the hem of your underwear. The gasp you let out was muffled by his lips as he continued to kiss you while he slipped his fingers beneath the thin fabric.

You arched into his touch, and you felt him easily maneuver to that you couldn’t get the contact that you were on the brink of whining for. Always a tease, even in a moment like that. He didn’t hold off for long, though, and you moaned into his mouth as he traced his fingers along your folds, and you could hear the shift in his breathing when he felt how badly you wanted him. He gently eased them into you, and only then did you break your kiss as you let out a shuddering breath. Your hands dropped to his shoulders, gripping onto him like you were afraid he was going to stop.

He pulled back, wanting to be able to see your face. He slowly began pump his fingers, mesmerized by the way your eyes fluttered, the way your mouth hung open slightly as you soaked up every sensation. His other hand rested on the side of your face, his thumb pulling down on your bottom lip for a moment before you turned, pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand.

“Happy,” your voice was half whine, half whisper. When his eyes locked onto yours, you squeezed his shoulder, “I need you.”

He dipped his head down, kissing you hard on the lips before sliding his fingers back out of you. You whined against his lips at the loss of contact, but you were quickly distracted by the way he was sliding your panties down, lifting your hips so he could slip them off all the way. Once he tossed them to the side you started unbuckling his belt, and in what felt like no time at all, he was tossing his jeans and underwear onto the floor as well.

He was about to reposition himself on top of you, but you stopped him with a gentle palm against his chest. You pushed him lightly, nodding for him to lie down on his back. You could see it in his eyes that it caught him off-guard, but he didn’t fight you on it at all—he was putty in your hands.

Swinging your leg over him, you straddled his hips. His hands slid up your hips and sides, eyes traveling over every inch of your body as you positioned yourself over him. He let out a sharp exhale as you lowered yourself onto him, his hands instinctively grabbing onto your hips. You let out a quiet fuck under your breath as you laid your hands on his chest. His touch lightened as you adjusted to him, his hands snaking up your chest.

Once you found your rhythm, you could tell that Happy was fighting the urge to let his eyes shut in bliss. He wanted to see you, watch you and feel close to you when he felt so far away from everything else. But as the sensations flooded through him, it was hard not to get lost in it and let his eyes close.

“Come here,” you sounded as breathless as you felt as you gave his hand a slight tug, urging him to sit up, “closer.”

He did as you asked, his hands keeping you secure against him as he readjusted your positions. Your hands rested on his shoulders as his arms wrapped around your waist. You felt his hand creep up your back, making quick work of the clasp of your bra before sliding the straps down. He could hardly wait for you to remove it completely before flinging it off the bed. Wrapping his arms tight around you again, he reveled in the heat seeping from the bare skin of your chest into his. He kissed you hard on the lips, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you used his shoulders for leverage to get your rhythm back. He grabbed onto your hips, moving and helping you along. Peeling his mouth off of yours, he buried his face into your neck as he listened to the soft whimpers falling from your lips.

“Happy,” it was a whine, a plea, asking for something that you weren’t quite sure of.

He kissed the soft skin where your neck met your shoulder, and you could feel his lips move against you, his words muffled as he told you, “I love you.”

Your hands slid from his shoulders to his back, pressing his chest tighter to yours, “I love you too.”

It wasn’t long before you were coming undone around him. Happy clung to you for dear life, teeth sinking lightly into your shoulder as he basked in how you felt, and knowing that it was him that made you feel that way. The sound of you repeating his name in nearly inaudible whispers filled his ears, and when he felt you trying to pull him even closer, even farther into you, that’s when he spilled into you. A low moan that died down into a shuddered breath came out of him as he gripped your hips, pinning you down onto him as much as he could.

The two of you sat like that for a little while, all tangled up as you attempted to catch your breath. Happy stayed tucked against you, forehead resting against your shoulder while he soaked up the feeling of you lightly scratching the back of his head. He released his grip on you, allowing his hands to blindly wander around your body. His touch was soft, reassuring.

Leaning back, you forced his head up as you peeled your chest apart from his. Your hands rested lightly on his shoulders, thumbs rubbing idle circles into the muscles there. You couldn’t stop the soft smile that took over your features as you looked at him. He looked a little dazed, but you could see it in his eyes that it was the most present he’d been in a long time. It was just the two of you, shut away in your bedroom, and for once there was nothing more to it than that.

You leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips, and you were rewarded with him resting his forehead against yours before he shut his eyes. He took a deep breath, focusing on your breathing and the feeling of your hands massaging his muscles that had been tensed up for far too long. You tried to think of the right thing to say, something loving and reassuring, but as you listened to the sound of his breathing beginning to level out, you thought to yourself that maybe this was enough. The closeness said more than your words ever could.

#sons of anarchy #soa #sons of anarchy imagine #soa imagine #mayans mc #happy lowman #happy lowman x reader #happy lowman x you #happy lowman fanfiction #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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the-silvr-speedster · 5 years ago

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About Starfish and Squares

Fandom: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Pairings: Daisy Johnson / Daniel Sousa

Basically just Daisy trying to figure out what to do about her feelings for Daniel and Daniel being... well, Daniel. All with a little teasing and heart eyes. Set after the end of S7 in a timeline that was changed a lot (just my pure speculation).

Hi guys! Uh, it's been a few years since I've actually published something (and didn't finish, oops). This is my first fic connected to a TV show, but since it is my favourite one and is already ending and they gave us Daniel freakin' Sousa as a new love interest for our girl Daisy I just couldn't sit on the sidelines but jump on the ship and now I am basically just a Dousy trash. Plus I got ideas and couldn't wait until the season ends hence this little fic I put down over the weekend. The timeline is pretty messed-up at this point and I have no idea what are they going to do about it so, this is just my pure speculation about what it would look like in the future after all those changes. Basically, I just wanted to write one small fluff and flirty scene but somehow this fic came alive and decided otherwise. But enough of my rambling, I hope you enjoy reading this. Beware of mistakes, nobody else edited it but myself and I may be a little rusty in writing in English.

And just a little disclaimer: I don't own any characters, they are a property of Marvel and Marvel Television.

He could hear the sound of Daisy's fast typing before he walked into Zephyr’s dining area. She didn't see him enter the room, though. Sitting sideways at the table, she kept her eyes trained on the laptop screen, completely focused on her work. Daniel stopped in the doorway, leaned against the wall, and quietly watched over her like she could disappear into thin air at any moment.

He caught himself doing it ever since Nathaniel killed her mom and he found Daisy on the ground next to her body with tears welled up in her eyes. She let them fall the second he softly spoke her name. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and he stroked her hair and held her close as long as she needed it. God knows that if it was up to him, he would hold her like that forever. She clung to him for dear life.

“You are hurt,” he worriedly looked over the bump on her forehead, brushing her hair from her face.

She didn't respond. She moved her hands to his chest and kept looking at them, lost in thoughts. A look of fear and confusion crossed her face and she finally met his eyes.

“How am I still here?”

That sentence stayed on his mind for over a week now, like a constant reminder of how much Chronicoms screwed up the timeline - with the help of Malicks, mainly Nathaniel. Just a brief thought of him brought that rage against the man full force. He shouldn't dwell on that anymore, it was in the past after all, but still, he couldn't forget. The barn. What he did to Daisy. To her mom. Daniel shook his head. Nathaniel is long gone now; Daisy took care of that. In the end, it didn't matter that he had those powers longer than she did. She crushed him, just like she told him she will back in that godforsaken barn. Daniel was so proud of her.

They won. They destroyed Sybil permanently with the help of Fitz and returned to the future. Not like it was a return for him but he didn't mind being here... with her. It was so strange to him. Yes, he had fallen in love before but somehow this was different. Unexpected. It hit him like a bullet in the back, totally unprepared and he was too far gone before he even realized it. ‘Huh, no pun intended,’ he thought. Million times better than those two bullets in the back he was originally supposed to get. And yet, at the same time, it scared him. The thought of him making it to the future without her. He was scared that the messed-up timeline will catch up with them and take her away from him. Not that she would be his, she is her own person but... He closed his eyes and shook his head again. He is in head over heels.

Something has changed between them. Well, more precisely, something about Daisy has changed ever since she was stuck in the time loop. Whatever that was, whatever happened that she didn't tell him about, it gave him a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe she's falling for him too. A hope that this time it won't end up like with Peggy. However, another part of him kept screaming not to give his hopes up. After all, she is a superhero with impressive powers from the future and he - he is a square, she said it herself. But he finds it that he doesn't care. He just wants to be there for her in whatever way she lets him. People like her should have someone to pick them back up after they hit the figurative walls. In Daisy’s case even the literal ones.

“Enjoying the view?” Daisy calls with a smirk. She could feel Daniel's presence for some time now but wanted to finish her work. Setting up new identities and lives in this new timeline is a pain in the ass. She officially doesn't exist, Daniel is supposed to be dead, Coulson is actually still alive so she has to set something up for LMD version of him and Deke - well he was always out of time.

She turns to look at Daniel at the lack of his response. He is looking in her general direction but his eyes are unfocused. She keeps looking at him, almost getting lost in her own thoughts that she promised herself she'll sort through. Mainly those particular memories from the time loops.

“Earth to Sousa,” she calls again, tilting her head to the side. She can't help but smile as she sees his eyes focusing on hers.

“Hi! Sorry, got lost for a while,” he sheepishly smiles and pushes off of the wall.

“Anything interesting on your mind you'd like to share?” Daisy can't help herself but tease him with a glint in her eyes.

Daniel's breath catches for a moment, fearing she could read his mind somehow. But she can't, can she? She's just teasing him. She likes to do that. He throws up his arms and looks around. “Everything is on my mind.”

“Yeah. It's a lot to process, I guess. But you are a champ at that by now,” Daisy tells him, watching him with a soft smile as he walks over to the fridge.

“Don't know about that,” he throws over his shoulder as he takes out some eggs and veggies. “Hungry?” He looks at her questioningly as he sets the ingredients on the counter.

Daisy's stomach rumbles as an answer. She laughs. “Like a wolf.”

“I'll make us some omelet,” he proposes as he prepares to start cooking.

“OK. Thanks,” Daisy softly says and tries to concentrate on her work again. She fails at that miserably, her eyes wandering towards Daniel all the time. ‘How is he even real?’ She keeps asking herself ever since she first met him in his office in 1955. She has to smile at how crazy that sounds in her head. They basically know each other for seventy-five years. She doesn’t question everything he does for her anymore. She got the answer on that in the time loop. However, that doesn’t mean he stopped surprising her. It’s nice to have someone who takes care of her for once. Someone who is listening to her and is just…there for her. She doesn’t need to be his rock like she always used to think she needs to be for everyone else on the team.

Daisy looks at him again. His back is turned towards her as he is chopping the veggies. ‘What a sight to behold.’ She grins widely at that and bites her lip. Nope, she can’t get distracted. She still has work to do. She fixes her eyes on the screen of her laptop again. The more she’s trying not to think about him, the more she does. She thinks about their little conversation. About that kiss… ‘Nope. Definitely not going there. Not now.’

“Daisy?” The sound of her name tears her out of her thoughts. She likes how it sounds when he says it.

“Huh?” She looks at him and hopes her face doesn’t give away what she was thinking about. He is leaning against the counter fully turned towards her with an amused expression.

“I asked if you know where Coulson and Deke are,” he tells her. Of course, he doesn’t ask what was on her mind when she wasn’t answering before. He’s nice like that.

“Uh, I think Deke went to set some things up for himself with the new ID I made for him and he said something about staying over at Fitz-Simmons’s this night,” she shrugged. “And Coulson is charging back in the LMD lab,” she pointed with her hand towards it.

“So, it’s just the two of us then,” he stated the obvious, his deep brown eyes locking with hers.

“Uh-huh,” she hums, breath catching in her throat. She should have some funny retort to that, shouldn’t she? “Any ideas?” She teases with a smile and slaps herself mentally. ‘Why am I like this?’

He doesn’t break eye contact and Daisy can see the change in his eyes. He gives her a small amused smile like he can see right through her. She can feel the air becoming heavier.

She cleared her throat. “I mean, I got us new Netflix subscription, so… if you want, we can watch-“ She was interrupted by a beep of a pop-up window on her laptop. “Oh, come on!” She exclaimed frustrated.

“Something’s wrong?” Daniel asked concerned.

“Nothing I can’t fix,” she told him as she started to work on fixing the problem. “But it will take time,” she sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

“OK, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll finish dinner.” She gave him a grateful smile and he returned to preparing the meal.

Daisy told herself that this is why she can’t deal with her feelings right now. Why she can’t think about how nice that kiss was. She has work to do and she needs to finish it first then deal with whatever is going on with the two of them. The sooner she does that, the sooner they all can start living a new life somewhere that is not on the Zephyr. A quick thought goes through her head; she always finds an excuse so she doesn’t have to deal with her feelings. She always tells herself “later”. Maybe it’s easier to do that than admit to herself that she is scared. Maybe a part of her is grateful the time loop did reset and Daniel doesn’t remember what happened. Because the last thing she wants is for him to get hurt…or worse. That is what happens to people she cares about, who care about her. She still remembers that time when she was in the dark place after everything went down with Hive and Lincoln, after she chose to leave the team and become a vigilante. The pain, the guilt she felt. May has told her back then that she doesn’t get to choose who cares about her. And finally, she accepted it; she returned back to the team. And then Coulson died. And Fitz. They went to space to search for the other version of Fitz. Davis was killed. Then May almost died in her arms in that temple and next thing she knows they are on the Zephyr in 1931. When she thinks about it, she’s been bottling everything up. She labeled every feeling, every memory with the “later” tag.

She can feel tears forming in her eyes so she blinks a few times to get rid of them. How did her mind go down that dark rabbit hole with just a single thought? She doesn’t know. What she does know is, that she will have to deal with all of it one day and she can’t ignore the small part of her which hopes that Daniel will be there to pick her back up after that dam of bottled feelings and pain breaks down. One day, but not now.

*******************************************************************************************

Daniel woke up in his bunk. The light was still on and the book he was reading laid open on his chest. He looked at his wristwatch. 3:35 A.M. He ran his hand down his face with a sigh. He doesn’t even know when he fell asleep.

After he and Daisy ate the dinner, he retreated to his bunk to continue his research on everything he missed in seventy-five years. Daisy showed him some web pages on the tablet that could come in handy, like this Wikipedia thing. She said though, to take everything written there with a bit of skepticism since apparently the page is sometimes not the most reliable source of information. Coulson gave him some history books he picked up for the team in a bookstore in a nearby city since those they had from before were useless in the new timeline. Nobody seemed to be interested in reading them but him. After they found out that the real Coulson is alive as well as May’s ex-husband Andrew which is not an ex in this timeline and they have a daughter, and that the public doesn’t know anything about the existence of Inhumans, Daisy kind of didn’t want to know more about what changed. Mainly after Fitz mentioned something about Grant Ward being alive too.

Daniel sat up on his bed with a grunt and put the history book aside. His mouth was dry. He decided to go get some water. He quietly opened the door on his bunk and walked towards the dining area. As he walked past Daisy’s bunk, he saw that the doors are open and her bed is empty. He closed his eyes with a sigh. Leave it to her to rest and she won’t.

When he entered the dining area, he was greeted with a sight of Daisy sleeping with her head placed on her arms next to the laptop on the table. She looked peaceful but uncomfortable. He shook his head with a smile and walked towards the counter to pour himself a glass of water. After he drank it, he moved next to Daisy and lightly put his hand on her back.

“Daisy?” He whispered so he wouldn’t startle her. She didn’t move.

“Okay,” he murmured to himself. ‘Let’s try something else.’ He carefully moved her body in a proper sitting position while simultaneously going to one knee. Putting his one arm around her back and the other under her knees, he pulled her close and her head rolled onto his shoulder. A soft sigh escaped her lips but she didn’t wake up. He stood up with her in his arms and slightly adjusted her weight, although it was so much easier and painless than the first time he carried her. He can’t be more amazed by the new prosthetic. Daisy’s arms went around his neck and she hid her face in his shoulder with another (content?) sigh. He smiled and before he thought better of it, he kissed the top of her head.

When he got to her bunk, he carefully put her down on the bed and unlocked her arms from around his neck. She grunted unhappily at the loss of contact. Smiling, he moved towards her feet and started undoing her shoes. When he was finished, he pulled the blanket from under her and covered her with it. Satisfied with the result of Daisy sleeping comfortably in her own bed, he looked at her one more time, leaned over, and softly brushed some hair from her face.

“Good night, Daisy.” He whispered as he straightened up. When he turned to leave the room, her hand caught his wrist.

“Daniel?” Daisy murmured half asleep. “Stay.”

His heart leaped into his throat. He stepped closer to her bed, her hand still holding his wrist. Her eyes were opened, looking at him pleadingly in the low light coming from the corridor. She slowly moved further on her bed to make a space for him. He was, however, waging an internal war. After all, this is something that would be considered highly inappropriate in his times. Probably even now, in the 21st century.

“I shouldn’t,” he told her quietly.

“Please,” she whispered her eyes closing again.

He sighed heavily and mentally cursed himself. He would do anything she asked of him, wouldn’t he? How could he say no when all he wants is to hold her close? He wants to stay but he shouldn’t. Yet he already knows he’ll do as she wants.

“OK,” he murmured resignedly.

Daisy smiled, satisfied, and let go of his wrist. He closed the door and sat down on her bed. He took off his shoes before he crawled under the blanket with her. She immediately moved closer to him and put her head on top of his chest, resting her hand over his heart. His instant shock melted away quite quickly and he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her even closer. She hummed contently. Daniel turned his head towards hers and planted one more kiss on top of her head, smiling. Any doubts he had before disappeared in the warmth of her body pressed into his side and the feeling of her heartbeat resonating with his own.

*******************************************************************************************

No nightmares this night. That was the first thing that went through Daisy’s head after she woke up. She sighed and pressed her head into the pillow happily. Only then she realized that it’s not her pillow she is pressing her face into but another human being’s chest. That was the moment she became acutely aware of a warm arm around her waist holding her close and the fact that her legs were tangled with the legs of that person. She was basically sprawled across half of him like a freakin’ starfish. She went rigid for a moment before she finally dared to open her eyes. She was in her bunk. How did she get here?

If she was being honest with herself, she didn’t really need to look up to figure out who she made a pillow from. She already knew, but still, she looked up to be met with a peaceful face of sleeping Daniel Sousa. Was his face really buried in her hair before she looked up or it just looked like it was? She felt her cheeks burn. Her heart hammered in her chest at high speed. ‘Please, don’t quake,’ she begged herself. God, she was so grateful that he was still asleep and didn’t see her blushing. Speaking of… Daniel sighed and his arm tightened around her waist. ‘Shit!’ Daisy moved her head down, the last thing she wanted was for him to wake up to her staring at him while profusely blushing. She could feel how his own heart was slowly picking up pace. She smiled. Somehow it made it less awkward that her own heart was racing like crazy. Now that she comes to think of it, this is an extremely comfortable position and she really likes her new pillow.

“Hmm, good morning,” Daniel murmured hoarsely.

“More like lunch, really,” she babbled, looking at the clock on her bedside table. “But good morning to you too,” she quickly added hiding her smile in his chest. “How did you know I was awake?”

“Apart from that heartbeat of yours? Hmm, let me think,” he chuckled. She liked how it resonated in his chest.

“Sorry,” she said as she slowly looked up at him, locking her eyes with his. “A little side effect of my powers. Be glad I didn’t quake you out of the bed,” she smirked.

He raised his eyebrows, an amused smile playing on his lips. She tried not to look at them for too long. “That happened before?”

“Nope. But once I quaked myself out of the bed,” she laughed and he joined in. It lighted up his eyes even more. She had to look down on his chest to gather her thoughts. It wasn’t helping very much. “Anyway,” she cleared her throat, “care to elaborate how am I actually here? Last I remember I was resting my eyes on the table in the dining area.”

“Well, it wasn’t much of resting your eyes as it was more of an uncomfortable sleeping,” he chuckled. “Tried to wake you up but you wouldn’t even budge. So, I carried you here,” he explained.

Daisy met his eyes again amused, trying not to imagine him carrying her in his arms. “You carried me here? Just like you carried me out of that barn?”

“Uh-huh,” he hummed looking down at her.

“You seem to like carrying me around a lot, agent Sousa,” she teased him while pushing up on one elbow so she could look at him better. He gave her a small smile and…did he just look at her lips? She gulped.

“You seem to like being unconscious a lot, agent Johnson,” he replied jokingly.

Daisy smiled widely. “Well then, in that case, you have to carry me while I’m still awake next time.”

“Maybe I will,” he teased her back with a glint in his eyes.

'Looks like someone is in a playful mood this morning,’ she thought to herself. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she hummed. The way he was looking at her, the way his arm was burning her waist through her t-shirt and the way her own hand just casually laid on his chest suddenly became unbearable and at the same time she wanted more. More of him. Her eyes flicked to his lips, then to his eyes and then anywhere else but him. One side of her just wanted to lean in and kiss him like she did in the time loop, another side was basically screaming at her to abort the mission. She inhaled deeply to calm herself down and pushed away from him completely, now lying next to him on her back.

“So,” she started again looking at the ceiling twisting her hands together nervously, “did I, uh, say something after you brought me here?”

“Uh-huh,” he said as he propped himself on one elbow, now looking down at her with that little smile of his clearly enjoying himself by teasing her. Oh, how the tables have turned.

“Did I…beg you to stay?” She asked him, eyeing him cautiously.

He just smiled even more.

“I did, didn’t I? Oh God,” she mumbled, covering her face with her hands as she heard him chuckle next to her. “Sorry. The last thing I wanted was to put you in an uncomfortable situation. I just…,” she looked at him, her hands now playing with the hem of her t-shirt. She took a deep breath. “When I am extremely tired, I kind of loose the filter and say whatever is on my mind. Like a drunk person.” She smiled innocently at him.

“So, you are extremely honest then?” He asked her with a smirk, some kind of plan already forming in his eyes.

Daisy laughed. “Don’t you dare to use it against me,” she warned him jokingly. “Anyway, did I say…anything else?” She knows that there is so much she could’ve possibly said to him, things that she can’t reveal while she is in a half-asleep state when she definitely won’t take a moment to explain herself.

“You called me by my first name,” he shrugged, still smiling.

“Hmm, did I?” She grinned. She was calling him Daniel in her head since…well, since the kiss probably. “It would be a shame to go back to calling you Sousa now, wouldn’t it?”

“It definitely would,” he agreed.

“So, Daniel it is, then,” she smiled softly at him. “But I mean it, I’m sorry for putting you in that position. I know that you’re-“

“A square?” he cut her off with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s not exactly what I was gonna say but since you’ve mentioned it - I kinda like squares,” she gave him a teasing smile and he had to look away for a moment before finding her eyes again. “I mean, I basically made a pillow out of you and wrapped you in a starfish hug - unconsciously - but still. Without an explanation or…something.” She looked at her hands sheepishly. “I just can understand that it could be too much for you and-” She kept rambling before he cut her off again.

“I kinda like starfish,” he told her with a shrug.

She looked up at him. His face was soft and honest and she thought she’s going to drown in his warm eyes.

“And I didn’t mind being your pillow at all,” he added.

Just one swift move of her hand to grab his shirt and pull him to her. That is the only thing that she needs to do to kiss him. Right there and then. Daisy already knows he would be more than a willing participant. She knows that is would be probably even better that their first kiss - which he doesn’t remember. That is probably what is keeping her from actually going for it. Maybe she should just tell him. Or kiss him first and tell him later? ‘No,’ she tells herself. ‘This is not the right time or place for that conversation.’ And yet she can’t help herself. She can’t break the eye contact, she can’t move. She’s frozen in place and maybe even space and time, because what are those? They are inconsequential at this moment. She is lost in that chocolate heart eyes of his. They are reflecting exactly the same emotion, exactly the same desire as hers. He wants to kiss her too, she realizes, but he won’t unless she gives him a go…or kisses him first. And just like that, she can see in all play out in her head. Maybe she should go for it even without that conversation. She should just go for the kiss and not label it with the “later” tag like everything else. Maybe, she will…

“Well, I guess that every starfish needs its own square to make a pillow from,” she said in a low voice, her hand rising up to softly cup his face.

“Hmm, it would seem so,” he hummed in agreement and started to move closer, her touch giving him the courage to do what he wanted for so long.

Or not…

They were suddenly interrupted by a loud crash and sound of something breaking. They both jumped up into a sitting position with a panic written all over their faces.

Deke’s voice echoed from somewhere in the corridor. “Uh, guys?! We don’t really need the main control panel on the bridge anymore, right? Because it kinda, uhm, broke.”

Daisy let out a frustrated sigh and facepalmed. Leave it to Deke to be the buzzkill. She looked over at Daniel. The initial annoyed look on their faces slowly transformed into a huge grin before they both burst out laughing. She hid her face in his shoulder and he put his arm around her waist, enjoying one last moment alone before they go off to deal with the new disaster. Daisy at least knows now that they really need to have that conversation soon. Because whatever this is, she wants it no matter what.

“Guys?!”

Ok, so this was supposed to be a one-shot but if anyone is interested I might write down at least one more chapter about "that conversation" and kiss. I didn't want to include it here since there are already so many fanfics about how Daisy breaks the news about their kiss to Daniel.

I hoped you enjoyed it and I guess we'll see each other in the Dousy trash can.

UPDATE: There is a sequel to this fic, called HOME. Just FYI, if you were interested in reading more Dousy content. Link is here.

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neighbourskid · 4 years ago

Text

2020

What a year, huh? Surely not anything anyone has expected to happen when we woke up on this day a year ago. I certainly haven’t. I’m not even sure, now, where to begin to sum up this year like I’ve done years prior. But then again... I may just as well just dive right into all the media I consumed this year, as I have done every year. I haven’t kept track as detailed as I have last year, but my year was definitely punctuated by pieces of entertainment that have come into my life.

Continuing on from 2019, my obsession with Good Omens was still going strong. Which was ideal, since I was gonna spend the first half of the year writing my Bachelor thesis on it. The intensity of the obsession may have waned a bit since, but I still love that show and book dearly and hold it close to my heart, and I don’t think that will ever stop. But while Good Omens was certainly an overall theme throughout my year, there were some other things that actually stood out.

With January came new episodes of Doctor Who, and having returned to that particular bandwagon the year prior, I was all about that. Jodie’s second season finally brought what I had longed for in her first--a darker kind of Doctor. She wasn’t quite as bubbly anymore, you could finally see some of the depths in the character that I loved so in the previous regenerations, which made me love Peter’s Doctor so incredibly much. In this season, I felt, Jodie was finally becoming the Doctor. Overall, that season catered to me personally every single episode. So many of the time periods they visited were of people I loved, and the introduction of Sacha Dhawan as the Master was absolutely....well, masterful. Sacha is brilliant in that role and I am utterly stunned by his talent. Although both John Simm and Michelle Gomez brought things to the Master that I liked, it’s Sacha’s completely unhinged take on it that made me finally like the character. He’s a madman and I love it.

The next major thing was The Good Place. I tend to have a talent of getting into shows just as they either ended their entire show, or the final season is just coming up. It’s happened quite a bit, and it was the same with this. I finally binged the show early in January and it would end its final season at the end of the month. True to form, I was completely obsessed with it for about a month, before I only occasionally thought about it again. But, thinking back now, I get this incredibly fond feeling for this show, and I remember that the finale absolutely wrecked me and I basically ugly sobbed through the entirety of it. Also very true to form, actually. I want to rewatch it again some time, but honestly preferably with someone who has never seen it before. Which, obviously, is a difficult thing to do given, well, everything.

Next up is something that surprised me a lot. In the middle of having to write my BA thesis, my procrastination thought it would be a great idea to rewatch and catch up on the entirety of Criminal Minds. And so I binged 15 seasons of that instead of writing my thesis. Which, coincidentally, had also just aired its final season not long before I started my binge in March. Rewatching this, I realised just how little I took in of the actual, like, stuff in the show when I first watched it as a teen. Although I mostly cared about the characters and their found family this time around--although I do find the cases really fascinating most of the time too--I noticed just how much I am not watching this for the fact that they are in the FBI. I was hyperaware of how often they shot at people before doing anything else, how many of the suspects died before ever being questioned or being brought in, and it made my skin crawl. I am aware how fucked up the criminal justice system is, and especially in the US, how the police functions and how incredibly glorified they are in the media. But rewatching this show, I realised how little I actually paid attention to anything when I was younger. Big yikes. Still, I remembered my love for these characters, and I really enjoyed that rewatch a whole lot. Found family will always get to me.

Once I finished writing my thesis and handed it in early in July, I then found my next momentary obsession: Community. The show had finally come to Netflix earlier in the year and a friend of mine had watched it then. I remember watching that pilot episode back then and being completely uninterested in watching it. The comedy felt like it wasn’t quite up my street, the characters were entirely unlikeable, and I especially disliked Jeff who the show was more or less centred around. I binged Criminal Minds instead, but then decided to give it another try. And, well, I watched it twice through without taking a break to watch something else in-between. Ironically, and maybe actually unsurprisingly, Jeff ended up being my favourite and I found myself relating a lot to him and his arc throughout the series. I even found myself writing some short ficlet-like things in the notes app on my phone. I made an attempt at starting a third watch, but I guess then the month was up, and my brain decided it was time for something else. My hyperfixations usually tend to die out after about a month. Which is why my complete devotion to Good Omens was a pleasant surprise. I did, however, end up watching quite a bit of Joel McHale and Ken Jeong’s The Darkest Timeline podcast throughout August.

Early in September, while already preparing for the new term at uni, and my first semester in my Master’s studies, I then turned to New Girl. Friends of mine had seen it and recommended it, and I remember watching probably the entire first season on TV while I was in San Diego the first time around back in 2016. Or at least I think it was the entire first season. Either way, I binged that whole thing, realised through Nick Miller that the go-to character I am drawn to and tend to project on in any piece of media is usually what I like to call “the garbage man,” which Nick is a prime example of. And although I spent a month watching the show in-between starting university again and volunteering at a film festival, I didn’t spend much time afterward thinking about it and moved on to other things rather quickly. I enjoyed watching it, that much I remember, and I’m pretty sure I cried at the finale because it was done wonderfully, but seeing as another month was up, my brain was probably like “okay fine that’s enough”.

I then spent most of fall and early winter watching every single bad Christmas movie available on Netflix, which was quite fun. In that moment of festivity, I also watched a movie I found absolutely brilliant and fell in love with immediately. It’s a beautiful movie called Jingle Jangle, it has a magnificent soundtrack and is absolutely incredible. I had no idea Forest Whitaker could sing and he completely blew me away. If you haven’t seen it already, I highly recommend it. It doesn’t matter that Christmas is already over, it’s beautiful either way.

By the time December finally rolled around, I was already over the whole Christmas thing, to be honest and I turned away from festive movies or shows, and eventually ended up finally picking up a gem I had heard much about and had been meaning to watch for a while. A show which, as it were, also aired its final season earlier this year. This little show is Schitt’s Creek. I will be going on about what this show means to me probably in another post at length, but for now just let me say: if you haven’t seen it, find some place to watch it, and put this beautiful show in your eyeballs. I am on my second run through already (although I’ve seen the second half of the show a second time already while watching it with a friend on their first run through), and it brings me so much fucking joy. It’s a gift, this show. And it will likely stay with me for a very, very long time.

That’s about it for the big things. I also watched a whole lot of other stuff, including entirely new things, or just newly released seasons of things I was already watching. Here’s what I can remember off the top of my head:

Charlie’s Angels (2020). The Night Manager. The Witcher. Dolittle (2020). The Librarians (rewatch). Harley Quinn (2020). Sonic the Hedgehog (2020). The Chef Show (S1 part 3, S2 part 1). Avenue 5. Money Heist (part 4). The Good Fight (S4). Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S7). DuckTales (2017 reboot). Frankenstein live. Staged (2020). Hamilton. Sense8. Julie and the Phantoms. The Boys in the Band. One Night in Miami. Enola Holmes. Supernova. His Dark Materials (S2). Happiest Season. The Great Canadian Baking Show.

I also got some reading done in-between what I had to read for my thesis in spring, and then for regular university courses in fall. Here’s some of what I can remember:

Anthony Horowitz, The House of Silk. Ramona Meisel, Sunblind. Donna Tartt, The Secret History. Good Omens novel and script book. Matt Forbeck, Leverage: The Con Job. Keith R.A. Decandido, Leverage: The Zoo Job. Greg Cox, Leverage: The Bestseller Job. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Lost Lamp. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Mother Goose Chase. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Pot of Gold. Neil Gaiman, Marvel 1602. Christina Henry, The Lost Boy. Neil Gaiman, Norse Mythology. John Green, An Abundance of Katherines. Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh. Maria Konnikova, The Confidence Game.

Having mulled over all this entertainment I consumed in 2020, there are also some non-tv or book things I need to point out. As many, many other people around the globe, I have also spent a large amount of time this year on my Nintendo Switch, playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. It is a game I have waited for since the Switch was first announced, and I fell in love with it from the moment the first trailer dropped. It has brought me great joy in this weird fucking year, and I have more or less consistently played it since it came out in March. I ended this year with the in-game New Year’s Eve celebration and I feel like that summed up this year quite neatly and appropriately.

This year also brought with it another game very close to my heart: Super Mario Sunshine. With their release of Super Mario 3D All-Stars in September, Nintendo finally brought my all-time favourite Mario game to my all-time favourite console, and I played the entire game through in the first week of owning it, in-between university courses and volunteering at the film festival. Also contained in that package was Super Mario Galaxy which I have also played through in its entirety since. All that’s left for me now is Super Mario 64, which I am excited to play through in the coming year.

And to round off my year of entertainment, there are two more things I would like to mention. First, David Tennant Does A Podcast With..., which released its second season this summer. It is one of the only, if not the only podcast I keep up to date with and listen to immediately whenever a new episode drops. I’ve loved the first season dearly, and David came back with some incredibly fantastic guests for the second season as well. I can’t wait for what the podcast will bring in the future, but I will wait patiently until it is time. I can highly recommend it for everyone who likes interesting conversations between lovely people who clearly adore each other a whole lot.

And finally, while this year brought a whole lot of bullshit with it, it also gave me something I never thought possible and did not even dare to imagine in my wildest dreams. My all-time favourite show announced that it would be rebooted with the same main cast (minus one), a new wonderful member, and involvement of the original creators, and even started filming already in summer. Leverage is coming back. I still cannot believe it. I hoped for a movie, always. That maybe one day, they might bring the gang back together, for one last job, just one more encore. But to get a whole new tv-show with Aldis, Christian, Gina and Beth returning? With the addition of Noah Wyle? I can’t wrap my head around it. I am so excited for this. I predict that I will ugly sob through the entirety of the pilot episode, if not the first season, and will have to rewatch every episode because of it, but I have no doubt that it will be brilliant and wonderful.

True to form, I have now gone on about tv shows and movies for far too long, and haven’t really said anything about this year at all. 2020 was fucking weird. And I don’t think 2021 will be much different quite yet. I wrote an entire BA thesis in 2020. I successfully finished by Bachelor’s degree and started my Master’s studies and even got some excellent first grades in as well. I was lucky enough to be able to see some friends and family throughout the year, and even celebrate my birthday with a small circle of friends. I’ve become closer with friends, shared experiences I wouldn’t trade for the world, and, I think, maybe also grown a bit as a person.

I started this year excited to finally be able to start taking testosterone in February, and to finish the first part of my studies by summer. Although I did both of these things, they didn’t happen quite how I imagined them, but I am glad that I could do these things nevertheless.

2020 was a hell year, for sure. But there were some moments in there that I wouldn’t want to lose.

I’ve tried very hard to not be optimistic about this upcoming year, and rather take a more realistic, even pessimistic approach. But I can’t help but be hopeful. Hopeful that this year will be kind to us, and if it isn’t, that at least, we’ll be kind to ourselves and each other. It won’t be easy, and not much will change, I think. But we have to approach the coming time with kindness and compassion. That’s where I’m at currently. And I think that’s all for now.

Be well, friends, and take care.

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blodreina-noumou · 5 years ago

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what would the show have had to have done to be considered good for you? I thoroughly enjoyed my time watching the show, so I look back at it fondly.

Oh god, where do I even begin?

For starters - if you’re one of the people who enjoyed The 100 in its entirety, good for you! That’s awesome! I don’t want to diminish that. These are just my feelings and my opinions, and I don’t intend for them to make anyone else feel bad for what they like. The ending could’ve been much worse, I’ll give it that. And there were obviously moments I enjoyed throughout the final season, and the series as a whole will still stand (unfortunately) as one of my favorites.

HOWEVER.

I found the ending thoroughly disappointing. It robbed our characters of any of the development they made in the final season, for the sake of propping up Clarke (canonically, that is why they stayed.)

The final season provided us with some really fascinating journeys for our characters. Without recapping the whole season, I can say that I really liked where Octavia, Emori, Murphy, and Echo ended up in their respective arcs. They all had to overcome their past tragedies to fulfill new roles. It was interesting and engaging.

The show itself provided us with so many interesting conflicts, with so many different groups who had competing goals and ideals. On some level, it promised us that peace was not possible until these folks all learned to work together and stop killing each other. That was the goal, all along.

Survival of the human race was the first goal of the show, and survival of the human race is only possible if they (a) stay human and (b) survive.

Neither of those things happened by the end. The goal of our protagonists - the thing they allegedly existed for, in their stories - to save the human race and survive and thrive and all of that, did not happen for the vast majority of people.

Transcendence and the final scene on the beach erases all of the hard work they did in showing us those character journeys, and in making us invest time and energy into different groups that would only continue to suffer assimilation and homogenization by the end.

What was interesting to me about our main characters - Clarke, Bellamy, Monty, Raven, Murphy, Octavia, Emori, and Echo - was that they appeared to be the ones best suited (according to the storytellers) to save the human race.

The moment the show introduced the Grounders, I wanted a political thriller that I was probably never going to get. I accept that.

What I cannot accept is that they erased all of their conflicts with a convenient deus ex machina, and everything that our characters learned is more or less pointless because of it. I’ll focus on their s7 arcs, but I think it applies to their entire storylines.

Octavia learns about her brother’s way of raising her and comes to forgive him for it. She becomes a parent herself. She manages to bridge the gap between two cultures yet again (Bardo and...everyone else, I guess) by falling in love with Levitt.

She will never utilize any of those skills again. Hope no longer needs a parent. There will never be another culture different from them again. She and Levitt will never have children.

Murphy learns to put value in the group, and to recognize his own abilities as a leader and as a man. He saves multiple people in Sanctum, becoming their protector and their shield.

Emori learns to put value in herself, and to recognize her abilities to empathize with outcasts and those deemed “less worthy” by society. She becomes a queen in her own right, a protector and a diplomat.

No one will ever need them to fulfill these roles, ever again. There was no point in them leading those people.

Echo had to go back to a deeply painful role, one which has cost her dearly in life - a spy among her enemy. When she’s brought to her lowest, to the brink of committing genocide, it’s her love for her family that keeps her from going over the edge. She reemerges as herself, recognizing that her painful past does not define her, and she can find love despite it.

Too bad the love of her life was murdered by Clarke!

I wanted our heroes to save the human race, not be the only humans that ended up saved. Does that make sense?

Clarke gets the closest thing to a happy ending of anyone, since she was the one who insisted for seven seasons that “[her] people” were the most important thing in the world, and that she would stop at nothing to protect them. Welp, now there’s nothing to protect them from. Her genocidal rages get a little slap on the wrist and then she gets to spend an endless beach day bossing everyone around and pouting.

It just sucked.

I hate the magic hand-wave of all of the conflicts. You can try to tell me that transcendence was a choice all you want. Plenty of people chose the City of Light, too. That didn’t make the way it erased their individuality and personal goals okay. Frankly, the ending to me feels like everyone just decided to go into the City of Light anyway. And sure, they keep their bad memories and some semblance of individuality, but what do those things even mean when you just one blip of a species that works, moves, lives, and decides things as one?

They didn’t overcome their tribalism. All of the other tribes just got assimilated into the borg. And sure, they maintain some semblance of personality once they transcend - we know that because of Madi’s message to Clarke. But what kind of lives are they going to have as part of that big glowy shit? Madi never gets to grow up, or fall in love, or pet dogs again. (Picasso is always going to wonder where her new best friend went.)

And who were those alien assholes anyway? Who are they to say that their way is better, that they have the right to judge entire species based on one representative? That they can just exterminate anyone whose way of life doesn’t match up with theirs?

Our heroes didn’t save the human race. The human race turned into something else entirely, and its last survivors get to watch each other die knowing that that’s it, that’s the end of them all.

No societies. No cultures. No new art, or music, or fashion.

No children, no future. No hope.

It’s very disappointing and scary to me. I don’t like the messaging and I don’t like the implications for the surviving characters.

There was a brief, brief moment when I saw a glimpse of an ending that I could’ve liked. When Raven says, “just give us another chance,” I was really expecting the aliens to swoop off and leave humanity to their own devices. No crystallization. No transcendence. All of the remaining groups have to come together and figure out how to thrive together. Discuss and establish a system of government that doesn’t rely on state-sanctioned child battle royales, or body snatching, or extreme restrictions on how many children people can have. Obviously, in this ending, nobody gets shot and nobody almost dies. Madi retains control of her body, somehow. Fill in the details yourself, but my ending would include just about everybody surviving.

Build a society that will grow. Let our characters take the lessons they’ve learned and apply them in a meaningful way, a lasting way. Show us that humanity will survive and will rebuild, on the planet of our birth. Let them rest, but let that rest and that peace mean something more than, “Good job! You made it to episode 100!”

Not to mention, the fact that Earth did eventually heal made everything that Monty and Harper did at the end of s5 completely pointless. Monty thought he was delivering the human race to a new hope. He was just steering them towards assimilation to the borg. I don’t think that’s the “do better” that he wanted, you know?

I could go on, but this is long enough. I’ll just end by saying this - if someone had told me, back in 2015 when I started watching, that this is how the show would end, I never would’ve started it. Not for Lexa, not for Octavia, not for anything.

The ending made everything they went through so painfully pointless.

#asks #anon #forgot I had anon on lol #should turn it off again #saltblogging #stephspeaks #long post

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agl03 · 5 years ago

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As a on and off Deke fan how do you think his development will be in s7? I mean in s5 I loved Deke first being reluncant to help the people who got his parents killed and betraying them to sacrificing himself for a cause he could finally believe in bc he finally had hope. And then he went back with the team found the family he never had, lightened up, etc. s6 i feel like idk the team wasn’t very nice to him and he was a little annoying and treated like comedic relief to a static earth-

team. And until FitzSimmons came back he was ngl but kinda annoying? And I loved his speech in 6x12 one of my fave moments of the season for sure but I feel like they could’ve built up to it better? And I’m excited for him to come to his own in s7 but do you expect more development for him? Like s5 had? Or are we going to get him just having a “funny” crush on Daisy or the team just hating him for 13 hours straight?

Hi Anon,

Oh boy, I apologize in advance for this because boy to I have feelings about how Deke’s arcs has gone down and how he’s treated overall. I’ve got a few metas that are in the abyss of my blog so this will be a good place to pile it all together.

To start out I love Deke...we named our dog after him, he’s one of my kiddos favorites, and I love the Fitzsimmons family overall and desperately am hoping that we get one good full family adventure before it ends.

For Season 5 Deke its pretty amazing to learn that he was supposed to be killed off pretty early on but the writers loved Jeff so much and what he brought to the cast and the character they kept him on. Especially when you see that there were hints about his lineage from the moment we met him. This also lead to a great deal of math as I tried to figure out the timing and we found that indeed there would have been enough of a window for Fitzsimmons (or someone else on the team to have an older child or grandchild at this point).

In Season 5 the first time we saw each member of the Fitzsimmons Family they were masked. Jemma wearing the gas mask, Deke in the Star Lord esque number, and Fitz as Bashtok.

Therefore I feel the decision was made pretty early on to keep him around and to make him Fitzsimmons Grandson. I personally enjoyed the hints as it followed what they did with Radcliffe in season 4, hinting that he could indeed be Fitz’s father whom was unknown to the fandom, again the writers talked about it but instead we got Alistair...RIP Dadcliffe theory I still love you

Giving Deke that hero arc towards the end of the A arc, having him help the team even though they didn’t listen to him, were just more and more hints.

Where I was disappointed with his development in Season 5 was as you said. He finally had his family back, his grandparents that his mother had spoken so lovingly about. And aside from a few really lovely consoling moments with Jemma and a small team up with Fitz in Option 2....he turned into a love sick puppy dog for Daisy. Part of me get its, the writers needing to focus on Fitz’s break and the teams overall split and dysfunction as the end of the world neared It was very disappointing to see their final scene cut as well. I would have much rather seen him sticking with his Grandparents, running away with them and Yoyo, or Hale doing something with the knowledge she had of his linage than him just following Daisy around.

Moving onto Season 6 I’d had a bit of hope he’d be on Team Space Fitz rescue, but once I started getting that split story feel from the cast filming I knew he was on earth trying to find his own way. Again I totally agree, the writers didn’t seem to know what to do with him between Code Yellow and when Fitzsimmons returned and he desperately tried to connect with them, especially Fitz. He so wanted his approval and to get on better than he did with Loop Fitz. So while we waited for Fitzsimmons to return he was used a bit as a punching bag. Mack, May, Daisy, and most of the agents barely tolerating him. Being forced on missions he was uncomfortable with and not trailed for. Getting yelled at when he couldn’t pull off what his grandparents could.

Once Fitzsimmons were back I enjoyed the balance of comedy and heartfelt moments. I really did like the chaotic vibe he had with Snowflake and his heart His blow up in 12 was totally warranted and allowed him to have some serious hero moments, earn some respect from Mack, and still brought some comedic light to what were some seriously stressful points in the finale.

Now Season 7 is when I think Deke is really going to come into his own. Those who have ready my theories and predictions throughout hiatus know I’ve been pretty firm on this all along. I also had the recent revealation that Deke is a bit of a Dark Horse for the team. As with all the scans the Chronicoms have, even Fitzsimons from Inescapable, they know next to nothing about him. Jemma didn’t know his full talents before she left to get Fitz. Meaning they won’t know what’s coming with them and if the team ever needs a Hunter level crazy Release the Ferrets kind of plan to throw them off. Deke is their man! It will also allow him to operate under the radar until he makes a few too many waves and lands in the Chronicoms sites.

I think for Deke this little trip through history is going to be amazing for him and he’s going to want to get into the field as much as possible, see as much of the earth as he can like never before, and witness the history of Earth that he was never really able to learn. And seriously writers if I don’t get at least one scene of Jemma fussing over him in one of his period looks i”m gonna be very sad.

Deke is going to have to be the one to fill Fitz’s shoes with Jemma in the lab with Bobo in hiding. Here for the first time he’ll get to really work with one of them, see how they operate, and be able to learn from her just as she will from him. Well see him have some pretty big breakthroughs during the Season. I also think that out of all the team Jemma is going to lean heavily on Deke for support as the separation for Fitz....and concern for his safely grows. I still maintain if there is a Secret Child Deke will be the only one she tells and that child or no Deke will be the only one to back her up when she insists that Fitz is in serious danger and something needs to be done. Add Nana and Deke running off to save Bobo to my wish list.

I am still concerned about the whole Puppy Dog crush on Daisy thing. I don’t really ship them at all and if the writers do take it there its going to take most if not all season for Daisy to start to come around to him. So that will likely flare up from time to time.

I also think he’ll still have to prove himself to others on the team like Mack, Elena, Daisy, Yoyo, and maybe Robo Coulson. And at some point his lack of training in the field will bite him and I think he’ll get injured ore than a few times.

By the end of the Season Deke is going to be an integral part of the team and going into the final fight, especially if there is a tech element to it I think he’ll play a part in saving Fitz and perhaps the world. That does leave me on the fence if he makes it or not. I fear if he is on as big of a hero arc as Mace was he’ll fall to the same fate and sacrifice himself, especially for his grandparents. But I can also see him going on to take over for Fitzsimmons when they leave Shield. Though my dream I know very well I’m not getting is he decides to stay with them wherever they land.

Deke will also continue to add that comedic element that is very desperately needed as things get more serious. Enoch and Robo Coulson will also help with this void and oh boy if we are lucky enough for Deke to meet Uncle Hunter at some point....yes another dream of mine.

Overall I am super excited where they take Deke this season as I feel its going to be his time to shine. Sure like everyone he’ll slip here and there but overall he’s going to Dazzle. He’s going to be really get close and bond with Jemma and be there to support her as the separation from Fitz goes on and gets more dangerous. And I think that we will see him find himself, who he wants to be, and what it means to be a Fitzsimmons.

#aos spoilers #aos speculation #ask agl03 #deke shaw #Fitzsimmons family #I wrote a small novel here #I love my space grandson

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parvasilvi · 5 years ago

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Endeavour Fandom Meme tagged by @wherehefoundtheporcupine, thanks!

Top 5 Episodes

Ride is my absolute #1 favourite. I’ve watched it so many times. The plot is so ridiculous. Great Gatsby&the Prestige crossover? I love it. Morse taking the time to heal after trauma? I needed so much more of that. THE HAIR? Forever in love. Home is also a favourite. Endeavour’s so YOUNG there. We get to see some of his family. We get some Thursday backstory. They take down the (former) mob-boss together. Morse looks so terribly fragile at the end. I just love it. Trove, immediately following Home, also great. Morse slowly piecing himself back together after being shot in the pevious season’s finale. Protective Dad!Thursday. The way Morse snarks at the snooty professor. The kindness he shows Frida Yelen’s dad. The tender moment with Monica. There’s a lot to love in this episode. Neverland almost didn’t make it in the top 5, because the puppet CREEPS me out, but I had to have it here, if only for Morse standing with Thursday, doing what’s right, despite the (DIRE) consequences. AND the POEM! I could listen to that on repeat except I cant handle the emotions. And lastly Deguello, andother episode where Morse takes on the corrupt upper layers, only this time with the Cowley team standing by him. Also by this episode I had gotten used to the Morsestache and could almost live with it.

Runner-up for Quartet for fantastic spy shenanigans, and also just mentioning Coda as a runner-up because I enjoy the angst of the bankrobbery but am not really here for manipulation-via-women that’s the plot of this episode.

Seasons in Order of Preference (or tops)

Gods must you do this to me? There’s highs and lows in all things. S3, S1, S2, S5, S4, S6. I haven’t brought myself to watch S7 yet, I worry it’ll make me dislike the show. It all seems so DIRE. I prefer the earlier seasons where there wasn’t AS much strife between Thursday and Morse, though the differences were always there I suppose. S3 is a definite fave, I love all 4 films that year. S4, the season where Joan left without saying anything, is only so low because it hurts my heart soo much. I cannot bear Win’s suffering. She breaks my heart in season 4, what a phenomenal performance with the little screentime she has. I love Win so much.

Favourite Scene(s)

Season 3, episode 1; Morse is back in Oxford, where he belongs, and he’s sitting on a bench next to Thursday. They discuss the case, Morse predicts the sandwich. And then, finally FINALLY. Morse talks about what prison was like. He tries to keep it light, but it’s... it’s still so fresh. But Thursday listens, and reassures him when he starts to doubt himself. And these actors, their faces, it’s just. I love it.

Honorary mentions for the bed-shopping scene with Monica which is adorable and I love their love, the scene where Morse and Claudine discuss rain and sex because I like when Morse is happy, the exact way in which Thursday says "He's an idealist" in S6 finale Deguello as he's explaining why he can't get Morse to back off, and the scene after Fancy’s death, between Morse and Frazil because the way Morse says “he was 23″ and the look on Frazil’s face always brings tears to my eyes.

Favourite Musical Piece or Moment

I don’t really know? Despite the imporance of music in the show, I don’t really pay too much attention. I wish we had more of Morse’s singing. If I had to pick something I’d pick have Ein Deutches Requiem from Trove, but that’s mostly because I recognised it from when I sang it with my choir, and then I listened to (and hummed) the whole Requiem for about a month because of nostalgia and for the max Endeavour vibes it was giving me.

Also, I agree with wherehfoundtheporcupine; the theme tune. It’s so... wistful? I think? Just the association with the show I love, but also the soft beginning, swelling to that dramatic rolling melody and then the tender ending. Yeah.

Favourite Cinematography/Imagery (season, ep, whatever)

Probably this shot from Ride:

(gif by @guardiansinferno)

I’m also a big fan of the way Morse never looks at bodies for long, and he’s always angled away from them in groupshots. He can’t escape it, but he’ll never be comfortable around death, and turn away as soon as he can.

Favourite Ensemble Character that isn’t Morse

Win. I just love her. I love how Caroline O’Neill plays her. I love how gentle and kind and supportive and welcoming and caring she is. But I also love how she stands up for herself, how strong she must be, as we see in glimpses of her life as a policeman’s wife. She’s amazing.

Runner up for Bright, who I’ll be honest I didn’t like at first, but now even on rewatches is always a joy to behold. Look at that man. He got where he is by doing things by the book, but he’s slowly learning that sometimes justice trumps order, and that it’s the people that are important, not the laws.

Favourite One-episode Character

Probably Bettina Pettybon, bless her poor heart. She has such a huge arc in the one episode she’s in. I hope she’s out there living her best life.

Favourite Morse Look (season, ep, whatever)

Smiling (gif by @snappyjenkins) The scarf (despite the negative connotations) also looks really good on him.

Runner up for this look (gif by @mykingackles):

Biggest Disappointment

The unresolved plot with Joan Thursday. Actually, the confusing character development of Joan Thursday. I wish we knew more about her mindset after Coda, and after coming back. I wish they hadn’t done the will-they-won’t-they-no-of-course-they-won’t-cause-canon thing for so long. Now they both just seem wishy-washy.

Provide some Spicy Takes (on canon, fandom, anything)

I keep forgetting that Morse has a sister, and I think the show should cater to me in that regard and actually mention her every once in a while. Let him talk about calling his sister, or end an episode with him dialing her number or something if you can’t afford to get the actress back. Actually, extrapolating from that I’m done with Endeavour - Lone Wolf. Let him make (and keep!) some friends, even outside the precinct. He’s a prickly bugger at the best of times, but even prickly buggers find soft pincushions to stick to. I don’t know where this metaphor is going, let’s get back on track - Morse is kind in his own way. He cares, almost too much sometimes. Give us someone who cares back. I miss the Monica seasons.

Free Space! (Make up something - anything - you want to share or say)

I haven’t given enough love to Dorothea Frazil in all the previous questions. She’s such a great character, we really should’ve gotten more from her. I love the dynamic she has with the main duo, the way she and Morse seem to always be on the same wavelength, and how antagonistic Thursday is towards her. I wonder if it’s because he’s so old-fashioned and she’s not having that patriarchal bullshit, or if it’s just because she’s a journalist. I should go back and add Game to my favourite episodes, just because of her scenes in that, and the way Morse doesn’t even have to say what happened to her protogé. Also the way Trewlove puts that asshat who underestimates her chess knowledge in his place. God this show has so many amazing moments.

I have the feeling this game is spreading like wildfire through the fandom, I’ve seen it on my dash a lot, but I’m going to tag @endeavourous and @snappyjenkins cause I don’t think I’ve seen theirs yet?

#itv endeavour #that took a long time to put together #such difficult questions!#but fun #fun to think about it so thoroughly #fun to review all the episodes again #endeavour

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karihighman · 6 years ago

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An Upstead timeline

Because I was thinking about how far Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton have come, and I just wanted to be nostalgic for a moment. Enjoy my ramblings! (:

The beginnings: season 4

Ah, yes. Hailey’s debut. I loved 4x21 “Fagin” for that reason. Also, Jay’s first impression of her seemed to be like “dang this girl is sassy...but I’m not complaining” haha.

Also we can’t forget the sass Hailey displayed in the survelliance van. 😂 Legendary. And Jay kept up w/it too. We love a sarcastic duo - even before they were partnered up!

Anyway, the next episode was when Hailey officially joined Intelligence. A moment of awkward silence for the two of them trying to shuffle around each other when Voight gave Hailey Jay’s desk because she was now partners w/Erin. Oops. Too funny.

Then of course, the season 4 finale saw Hailey be invited out to Molly’s with Jay, Adam, Kevin, & Will. She had the memorable “I’m Greek, we see tragedy in everything” line, along with that first of many looks she’d give to Jay after a conversation - longing & wistful. 😔

The new divide: season 5

Season 5 saw Hailey and Jay become partners & already they were there for each other when Jay had a tough case. While we didn’t see it air in the actual episode, there was a deleted scene from 5x01 that showed Hailey telling Jay that she’s “got his back.”

As the season progressed, we saw them continue to be there for each other as a source of support. Remember in “Fallen” when Jay kept checking up on Hailey’s “relationship” with fellow officer Sean McGrady?

“Is this really about the case?”

“See ya tomorrow.”

“Ooookay.” — yeah okay Jay we see u.

The next few episodes were Jay’s big arc in s5 where he dealt with being undercover while dealing with PTSD. Hailey was “neutral” at first, because she didn’t know Jay well enough to know how this would affect him, though she’d see it soon enough when he pointed a gun in her face at the end of 5x07. Even after that incident, she still called him to check on him. Now that’s a quality partner.

Another telling moment for their partnership was when Hailey went to bat for Jay with Camila. She knew if she talked he’d be in big trouble, so she had to do something to help him. She still made sure to remind Camila that she would “bury her” if she didn’t keep her mouth shut about Jay. Damn, remind me not to get on Hailey’s bad side. 😯

She even convinced Jay to go to therapy — how amazing is that? She helped him get help.

There were a few lighter, fluffier moments for their partnership as the season progressed, which you can see below —

And then came my favorite episode for them - Ghosts.

Hailey got tangled up with Booth who got her old partner killed. Jay, being her new partner, was concerned about how close Hailey was getting...not only to the case, but to Booth, as Booth was bordering on obsessed w/her.

He bailed her out, but then then two argued at Hailey’s UC apartment (hello, married couple moment haha) - But despite that, he still helped her go on w/the undercover plan.

Cue Jay going under as Ryan, a dealer that Hailey (as Kelly) knew. Things got even more awkward for the trio when Booth asked “Ryan” how many times he screwed “Kelly.” Yikesarama.

Towards the end of the episode, Booth got handsy with Hailey, which put Jay in an awkward position. He tried to keep his cool, but then the deal was blown. Hailey being the badass that she is fought off Booth, but it was Jay who brought her back down to reality to keep her from doing something stupid (even though let’s be honest, Booth deserved a few more kicks in the head).

The kicker of the episode came when Jay went to check on Hailey, and the two would start what would turn out to be “their thing” aka - drinks and long conversations about their cases & the feelings surrounding them. Hailey opened up about Booth and Garrett, and Jay listened. He was there for her, and that’s when they really started to form something special. Something that was more than just a typical partnership.

The rest of the season would only build on that momentum, bringing out little pieces of Jay and Hailey’s pasts, as well as how they dealt with things amongst the team. Jay lent Hailey a supportive hand (literally) when Al died in the season 5 finale, & in a deleted scene, the two offered comfort to each other at the vigil Intelligence held.

Care & being there: season 6

Jay and Hailey’s partnership grew even more so during s6. Their first major moments came in the crossover episode, when Jay was shot. Hailey was distraught, but it was more than that. She thought he was dead, & she thought she’d lost him forever. Her emotions were running high and she pushed down all those feelings that had come bubbling up to the surface. But they were there.

(Unfortunately she compensated by sleeping with Ruzek, thus beginning Upzek. Ugh. Anyway).

Even though she started a fling-turned-semi-relationship with Adam, Hailey & Jay still leaned on each other.

When Hailey dealt with a tough case, Jay was there for her. He made sure she was okay. Heck, even Adam noticed & told her, they should talk you know, “partner to partner.”

The following episode saw Hailey help Jay when his judgement was colored by his war past. She then reminded him of the famous “thing that works between them” and offered to buy him a beer to chat. He accepted.

When Jay found out about said romance, he was taken aback and you could tell by the look on his face that he was hurt...but honestly, maybe a little jealous. I think this solidified his feelings for Hailey, even if she didn’t wanna admit her own to herself yet.

“We’re good. And we’re always gonna be good.” -Jay to Hailey

6x12 has them do another heart to heart conversation, only for it to be interrupted by Ruzek, who called Hailey. Jay told her she should go, and even though she said okay, you could tell she didn’t really mean it. Just like Jay didn’t really want her to go. But these two have gotten good at hiding their feelings by now.

*forgot to add 6x14 when Hailey was kidnapped (along w/Kim). You could see the look of complete distress on Jay’s face when he & Kevin raced out to the truck, just missing it. Then when Adam told him they “should’ve been all over them” Jay went on the defensive, telling Adam “he didn’t know what went down” because he wasn’t there. Ruzek, Ruzek, Ruzek...as if Halstead wasn’t beating himself up enough! Even though later in the ep, Adam and Antonio were the ones to find Hailey & Kim, you saw Jay later ask if she was okay; and you saw the camera pan to both of their expressions when Voight gave the “work things at work” talk. Jay felt bad knowing he didn’t do his job at protecting his partner; Hailey was starting to debate her relationship with Ruzek on the job.*

6x15 offered us the iconic scene of “if I was gonna follow someone blind, I’d follow you” which we now know is essentially Hailey-speak for “I love you.” Because she told Jay that she’s trusted him from the day she met him. How freaking adorable is that?

Fast forward to the s6 finale & you’ve got a whole lot more feels between these two. From Jay’s line of “I’m going where you go” meaning he to would follow Hailey; to his protecting her FIRST without regard for his own life (actually literally using himself as a human shield!); and then of course, their heartbreaking conversation in the break room.

“We’ve only been partners a couple years...you’ll forget about me just fine.”

“Hailey... [no].”

aka - Hailey was scared of losing him again & not knowing if they’d be partners again, so she bit down on her feelings and brushed it off. Jay did the same, although he looked as if he was going to spill any second of that scene. You know what I mean.

You could see the looks in their eyes — they were saying everything without actually saying a word.

This episode was when the both of them seemed to accept their feelings of each other to themselves — as in, they admitted it to themselves, even if they weren’t ready to share them with each other. 💙

Deeper feelings: season 7

And now we’re onto s7, where even in the premiere, you could see how in sync Jay and Hailey were. The two worked together to help their boss, and they relied on each other more than ever to get the job done. Hailey supported Jay, even if she didn’t always agree with him.

Later on in the season, we saw him do the same thing. Although, when Voight split them up in 7x03, they weren’t happy about it. Jay showed his emotions with a look, while Hailey vocalized hers to Voight. Hailey = 😠 there.

In the crossover, we saw a concerned Jay over Hailey being quarantined, but also a concerned Hailey when Jay was taken hostage by Seldon. She even went all Sniper to save him! Go Hailey go!

They continued to work alongside each other, mainly in surveillance (apparently those two have a thing for vans 😉) to help the unit solve cases.

Jay had another tough case in 7x06, and Hailey noticed how much it affected him, even if she didn’t say it right away. Jay would do the same for her in the next episode when her CI was shot, with looks and a concerned voice like she had done with him.

And now we’re at 7x09, aka the fall finale from hell because Jay’s life is in the balance.

And Hailey Upton is livid over it. She was so desperate to get Jay back safely that she pushed the limits to find him. And just when she FINALLY did, he was ripped away from her yet again. Heartbreakingly tragic for these two...almost like a Romeo & Juliet vibe. 💔

Here’s hoping Jay will be okay in 7x10 when Chicago PD comes back in January, because Hailey really can’t lose the man she loves. I think this made her realize just how much she cares. And he cares so much for her.

Upstead ship captain Jesse Lee Soffer said it best: if you were to ask Jay or Hailey, “do you love him/her?” They’d say yes. As for what kind of love that is, they aren’t 100% sure yet...

because they haven’t even admitted their feelings to each other yet. But anyone can see that they are there. Pure and genuine feelings. Love. Respect. Admiration. 🖤

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baeckett-a · 5 years ago

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SEASON 8 OF CASTLE. Canon divergent.

I’m putting this under a read more & headcanon, as I feel strongly about this.

I genuinely enjoyed S8 of Castle, but I have to admit, I was let down. I often feel like it was dragged out for no reason. There were so many times they ended the arc of Bracken being the person behind Kate’s mom’s murder. Yeah, it was hinted that there was often more. Though, I was very disappointed.

Since the beginning of this series, we had this slow burn between Castle and Kate. A push and pull. S2 with Kate almost saying she’ll go to the Hamptons, after saying no, and Castle’s ex-wife showing up. S3 with Castle wanting to say he’ll be her one and done, and she gets shot at the end of S3. Season 4 happened, where it made sense to let Kate heal from her trauma before confronting Castle about what he said. It makes sense that a lie slips after being held in so long. It’s fire when they finally connected at the end of S4′s arc.

S5 happens, which is comical. We really see them grow and come together. They have the usual moments of couple’s doubt. They work through it. They work well together, giving us what we finally need. Not this ‘will they, won’t they’ until closer to the end of the season when Kate and Castle struggle. He proposes. ** IT’S IMPORTANT TO NOTE, THIS IS A BIG SEASON WHERE HE TELL HER SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO GIVE HER MOM’S CASE UP, BUT SHE CAN’T SHUT HIM OUT ANYMORE.

Then S6 revolves around working with her in a new career. Being distant. She comes home and gets her old job. They’re inching up to get married, but then there’s a plot twist with Kate being married unknowingly through a Vegas chapel. Then, after getting that taken care of and having this push and shove of Rogan being an absolute ass, they have Castle end up abducted at the end of S6 on the way to his wedding.

S7 starts, and it’s about finding Castle. He doesn’t have memories of the last few months he was gone. It really strains their relationship. It changes their dynamic for awhile. They elope then. Then we start to see, after not really getting much information on Castle’s disappearance and lack of memory, these teases. The end of S7 is a big turning point because Kate applies to be Captain. She gets that. She gets her happily ever after with Castle and the next step up in her job. They just got through this big push and pull again.

S8 is when the writers change. IMMEDIATELY, Castle and Kate are split apart. While I loved the angst and understand the estranged relationship behind the scenes, they completely reset us to S4. All of their hard work becomes shattered when Kate falls back into a new hole with a new lead on her mom’s case. We find that in those missing months Castle can’t remember, it’s because Castle’s memory ends up erased by his own doing. They have this mistrust in their relationship because she’s running off and pushing him away and leaving.

NOT TO MENTION THAT THEY REALLY RUINED ME WITH THE LAST FEW EPISODES. When they finally decide to work together. Fix it by sex. When Castle gets abducted by the CIA. All of these huge plot points that suggest bad writing on the production end, they only give me two minutes of Castle babies and their future. lIKE WHAT THE ? ESPECIALLY WHEN IT INVOLVES KATE AND CASTLE JUST GETTING SHOT AFTER GETTING HOME. LITEARALLY, THEY JUST GOT HOME. GOT SHOT. CRAWLED TO EACH OTHER. IT JUMPS FIVE YEARS.

Beyond that, I don’t always acknowledge S8. Unless specifically asked for. Simply because I feel like Kate and Castle have survived so much. He stuck by her through the bodies piling up between S2-S4. He sat by her side through the shoot. He asked her, specifically, to not shut him out when they got together in S5. That they’d take it all on together. While I understand the risks and threats she faced, the honesty would have been different. It kind of sucks that Kate preached to Castle in S3 about trusting Smith and how he didn’t know the man’s real intentions when she blindly leapt into a partnership with Rita and Vikram. Not knowing either of them, but taking their word anyway.

At the very end of all of that, I just felt like they robbed them of all of the progress and trust they gained through their trials and errors of S1-S7. Just to have a rewrite the two producers/writers wanted to have when they bid, and lost, to S4. It read like an awful fanfic in retrospect of all that happened. So, while I do and will write S8, I just feel like in my canon divergence, I’ll acknowledge Kate being more truthful than hiding behind the same facade Castle clawed at to tear down. They both deserved better than make-up sex and fake fighting to get through. If I stick to canon, I want there to be a heavier consequence than kissing the pain away. That would be a major setback for both of them.

#hc . // ʙᴏᴜɴᴅ ʙʏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇs #** long #|| i got really passionate

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howtotrainyouragents · 5 years ago

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Agent H’s AOS Rewatch

Season 3 Pro’s and Con’s

We’re done with the season 4 rewatch, and I’m over here still trying to process season 3. First time watching, it was my least favorite season and I nearly stopped watching the show because of it. Second time watching…it’s still probably my least favorite just by comparison, but I have infinite more respect for it. Anyway, I needed to sort out my thoughts on this, so it’s all under “keep reading” and don’t get mad at me.

Cons (because let’s get the bad stuff out of the way)

-I really dislike revenge stories, so all the revenge stuff with Hunter and Coulson and Ward and all did not sit well with me and felt even OOC.

-Speaking of, from the S2 finale through most of this season, there’s this theme of the men protecting and revenging their wounded or fridged girlfriends. It’s not super fun because this is a show where the women are clearly just as, if not more, competent than the men, but they’re not given the same opportunity to protect/revenge the men, much less given the same importance even in their own stories. I’m blanking on what MCU movies were going on around the time of this season, but I remember seeing this even in the movies. If I remember correctly there was a head of MCU who was later removed, but was apparently responsible.

-The use of Ward is muddled. I’m cool with his takeover of HYDRA, that seemed natural. But you expect it to lead to a huge standoff with SHIELD because he, their worst enemy, is now head of their worst enemy organization. Instead, he gets converted to the HYDRA religion and literally becomes a vessel. Which is fine, but the transition was really hurriedly and poorly done. This is a man who has complex views of loyalty (Garrett not HYDRA. Skye and Coulson but not SHIELD), so I’m gonna need a lot more convincing that he’d believe Gideon’s HYDRA.

-This will be on both lists: I’m disappointed about how after three seasons HYDRA is taken out so quietly and quickly.

-I don’t know where to put this, but: I didn’t actually hate the space boyfriend arc as much the second time around, but the potential overall got squandered and I dislike that.

-Rosalind’s death and possibly her whole arc was pointless. She was literally created and killed to serve Coulson’s character. Gross. And it’s a shame because it would have been really cool to use her as an actual foe-turned-friend for SHIELD throughout the season; she could have easily taken Mace’s place in S4 and that way at least would have been important for two seasons

-Okay, this is ABC’s fault not AOS’s. But like I remember how hard they advertised for Secret Warriors. Like that was the name of the arc. And. Then. They were a team FOR AN EPISODE. Imagine my disappointment. Also, there really weren’t enough Inhumans this season to suit me.

-Bobbi and Hunter leave for a failed spinoff and I will never forgive Marvel for doing that.

-I mean…I appreciate that they give Andrew a noble death, but like…was it really necessary to have him turn and later die? Really? It gives Ming Na Wen and Blair Underwood opportunities to do extraordinary acting and they nail it, but like maybe don’t kill a guy to solve your inevitable ship? Don’t kill off your second black actor?

-The time jump in the season finale is too sudden. Like we barely get to grieve over Lincoln and they hit us with a time jump and Daisy on the run and new director in charge. Uncool.

-This was the season I started to dislike Fitzsimmons. Don’t hate me. To me there’s an undercurrent in the writing that seems to favor Fitz over Simmons. FS’s subject to the same sexism that I mentioned in the first bullet. Like the story post-Simmons’ return focuses a lot more on Fitz’s feelings than on hers. He’s the one who has to stop her from getting tortured. He’s the one who saves Will, when it makes way more sense for her to go. He’s the one they all turn to for answers, when it should be both of them combined. And Simmons just gets a little pushed aside in her own story arc, but she just goes along with it anyway.

-I had to write this last because this is the thing that hurts the season the most for me: Lincoln’s treatment. Okay, first, he’s a great character who got a major personality change between seasons. I don’t like the personality change, but I’d be okay with it if they didn’t do worse. For starters, we barely know him. His life and backstory are so vague, the guy he visits in 3x03 is just “a friend”, and like we get zero information on how they know each other. They spend the entire season having everyone in SHIELD (except Daisy) be against him, dislike him, belittle him, and mistrust him WHEN HE DESERVED NONE OF IT. Like they make it really obvious that Coulson dislikes him father-style because of his relationship with Daisy. They make him petulant and act out to prove that Mack and May are right to mistrust him when really given the fact that he was an Inhuman guide and a medical doctor and a recovered addict, he’d be a lot more under control. They make Fitzsimmons talk down to him just because no one can be smart except Fitzsimmons, when clearly he would know more about Inhuman biology and medicine in general THAN THE BIOCHEM PHD (sorry that one will always bug me). Like they make some work on him with Coulson and May, and that’s good, but overall he is not allowed to have a solid relationship with anyone but Daisy. I think the writers 1) knew he was gonna die and decided not to invest in him or his relationships. 2) were trying to get a moody bad boy in the cast, and decided to cast him as it when it didn’t really make sense. Also, while talking about Lincoln, I really wish they did some more interesting things with his powers than lightning blasts. He has electric powers!! There’s so much you can do!!

-Okay, this one is just real personal. LINCOLN IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR. Or at least a medical student or resident or fellow (I mean, he’s in the hospital doing rounds). TREAT HIM AS SUCH. HE WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE, LET HIM HELP PEOPLE. LET HIM DO THE SURGERIES AND KNOW THE STUFF ABOUT BIOLOGY AND MEDICINE. LET HIM RETURN TO HIS OLD LIFE AS A DOCTOR. You had such a good character who turned himself around from addiction, dedicated his life to saving lives, got thrown multiple curve balls, and now has to decide how will he continue to serve others. Yes, he’s a hero in the end. But all that in between time, he could have been saving lives too.

Pros (because there is good stuff, I promise)

-Someone mentioned that this is the first season to have a unified storyline throughout, and that’s so true and it’s so well done!

-There’s a good natural continuation of the HYDRA and Inhuman storylines from S1 and S2. I think we can look at AOS as two large arcs: S1-S3 is about powered people and HYDRA. S4-S7 is about bending the limits of reality with Ghost Rider, LMDs, Framework, Space, and Time Travel,. S1 was about introducing us to powered people and HYDRA, S2 was about developing the history and politics of them respectively and how they relate to SHIELD. S3 is when Inhumans get involved with SHIELD and with the world directly and the fallout from that. For HYDRA it’s when we get the history and reasoning of the group, and even if it’s a retcon, I appreciate that it introduces the background of HYDRA as a way to end this arc

-Overall, I really do appreciate how this season fills out a lot of worldbuilding. We get a complete history on HYDRA, and we get way more info on Inhumans, but we also get to see how the human world is reacting to and divided on Inhumans, which carries over into the net season

-On both lists: It’s good that they take HYDRA out so quickly and quietly. That plotline had run its course, and it was so bittersweet because they finally had defeated their biggest enemy, but now they had even bigger problems to deal with it. That scene of Coulson and May watching HYDRA fall is one of my favorites because it mirrors that S1 scene of watching HYDRA takeover, but it’s so quiet and not celebratory like it should be.

-Like I said, I hate revenge arcs, but I do appreciate how it came full circle at the end with Coulson admitting his mistake and regret in seeking revenge. That’s much more on brand with Coulson and MCU even I had to sit through a painful arc just to get to that point.

-Episode 1, Daisy’s entrance and, for that matter, Fitz’s entrance. HOT DAMN.

-One of my favorite things about AOS is the way that they mix up pairings and everyone feels like friends and family. This season did a fantastic job on that with like Fitz/Bobbi, Mack/Daisy, Hunter/May, and way more.

-I complain that there wasn’t enough Inhumans to suit me, but also I really enjoyed the ones we got. I expected them to do Inhumans with basic powers like water, fire, plants, shrinking. But AoS writers were like nah, how about a guy who melts metal?? How about Medusa eyes?? How about a guy who can predict deaths? Like they just went straight to the extremes and I respect that. And yes, we have our typical speedster and fire guy, but the sheer joy that comes from those characters makes up for the predictability of their powers.

-We get Joey and Yoyo who are the effin’ best and deserve the world. And with Lincoln and Daisy we got SECRET WARRIORS!!!!

-First time, we get introduced to Charles and Robin and manipulating time, which obviously becomes important later, so I like that they introduce it so early in the show.

-I also love the way things come full circle with Lash. I wish he didn’t die, but the reveal of his true purpose was amazing

-THE FITZSIMMONS KISS. THE FITZSIMMONS SEX SCENE. Do I really need to say more?

-THAT FITZ vs MONOLITH SCENE. That is top like five moments of the show for me, and I’m gonna need the Emmys to give Iain de Castecker his belated Best Actor award any day now.

-4722 Hours was a work of art, and Elizabeth Henstridge, I will be getting you that Best Actress Emmy one way or another.

-Brett Dalton’s acting. This rewatch served to highlight how brilliantly he developed Ward’s evilness over the course of the three seasons and then the way he flipped the switch and played a completely different character as Hydra. You can feel it in his voice and mannerisms, it’s a totally different person even if it’s still technically Ward’s body. And to top it off, that finale where he pulls of a brilliant two-minute psychotic breakdown and a kickass fight scene. Standing ovation, good sir. I miss you.

-After S2 fridged three women of color, I do appreciate how this season chooses to take out four of its white characters even if I’m sad that they had to go.

-The Star Wars references were so effin’ funny

-Spy’s Goodbye. I will never be okay about this.

#idk if should tag this #but i want it in my tags #hope no one hates me #aos #aos s3 #aos rewatch #agent aos rewatch #aos s3 rewatch #aos season 3 rewatch #agent h #agent report

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