#fire cracking

[outtamynoggin]

Daddy issues... son issues??

Jason: Can a parent have daddy issues?

Tim: Obviously. They-

Jason: No I mean can they have daddy issues for their child?

Tim: What the actual heck are you on about?

Jason: Because I SWEAR Bruce has daddy issues for Dick.

Tim: WHAT? WHAT?!! What the actual-

Jason: No, think about it. Someone with daddy issues has: Fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting a partner, feeling insecure in a relationship, being clingy or possessive, needing constant reassurance, being easily jealous or suspicious, and attracting abusive partners.

Tim: *panicking* Hold-

Jason: *on a roll* NO. Bruce literally stalks dick and gets mad and scared over him leaving, he doesn't trust his robins to meet his standards, he constantly trauma-dumps on Alfred about his and Dick’s relationship, and he’s super clingy and possessive when it comes to Dick—like, look at the Titans! He’s obsessed. He literally asks Dick if things are alright between them CONSTANTLY. Abusive partners? I don't mean to talk shit about Talia and Selina but they're literally villains.

Tim: *having a crisis*

Jason: Bruce Wayne- the first man to have daddy issues... in reverse.

Tim: *whimpering* Please stop talking.

Jason: ...But wait... all these things... doesn't Dick have some of them too?!

Tim: NO!

Jason: *speeding up* No, no.. HOLY SHIT, IT'S A CYCLE! Bruce is feeding into Dick's issues and Dick is feeding into Bruce's because Bruce is looking for validation from Dick and Dick is looking for validation in Bruce and they-

Tim: *frantically calling* KON, COME PICK ME UP. I'M SCARED.

[wileycap]

I think we in the A:TLA fandom have missed the absolute potential of the fact that Ozai Firelord is canonically a fucking idiot. I mean the dude's straight up stupid. And I want to be very clear that this isn't a plot hole, this isn't a flaw in the show, this is a fantastic and super realistic element that honestly enhances my enjoyment of it! Dictators are often stupid and breed a culture of cronyism-over-competence. Any similarities with real world leaders, dead or alive, are coincidental yet inevitable.

What do I mean?

Well, let's take the Drill. When faced with the problem of Big Wall, Ozai's Fire Nation comes up with Big Drill. One singular Big Drill. Which, as anyone except an idiot could have predicted, immediately breaks down and accomplishes nothing. And if the Fire Nation had made it past the wall, then they would have been fighting through a narrow opening against people who can hurl long distance rocks! Which, if your face or body is vulnerable to high velocity rocks, is a bad thing for you and also for the battle.

Not to mention the resource cost of that thing! It's so insanely gigantic, it must have cost the Fire Nation the equivalent of trillions. For ONE drill. Not ten smaller drills. Just ONE drill. (Fanfic fuel: how much did Ba Sing Se profit off of stripping that drill for parts? Did they reverse engineer it? Did Long Feng keep that for himself?)

And you might be thinking, fairly, that it was War Minister Qin who came up with the drill and you'd be right, but it's Ozai who's approving all this shit. Instead of doing the reasonable thing and asking Qin if he et the whole edible, or even the in-character thing of burning him to death, Ozai just goes... big drill. Makes sense. We should have the biggest drill, because we are the biggest nation. Drill, baby, drill. sorry

It's not the first time, either! He also approves Zhao's invasion of the North Pole, apparently just because Zhao is good at kissing ass and hates Zuko? I couldn't tell you what merits Zhao has. We do not see him lead a single successful mission. The closest he comes is Pohuai, and even then its the Yuyan archers who do most of the work. (My longstanding headcanon is that the reason we don't see the Yuyan archers again is because Zhao blamed the whole thing on them and they were disbanded. This is great fic fuel for displaced Yuyan archers just, wandering around, being elite.)

He approved a massive naval invasion of the North Pole, surrounded by and made of water and ice, inhabited by people who bend water. A nation that was, by its own choice, completely out of the war.

Every time we see Ozai doing something, it's something stupid. Like disfiguring and banishing his firstborn child in a culture that has primogeniture. And then (once he's done pissing away a massive fleet of ships) he does the logical thing and sends his only other heir to bring his first heir back - even though his first heir would have been willing to return with a simple invitation. Like he could have sent a letter saying "dear son come home miss u pick up 200 000 tons of steel qin wants 2 build a drill lol", and Zuko would have come. (Okay, he did have a valid reason for having Zuko escorted, since he thought Iroh was a traitor, but there's absolutely NO reason to risk Azula. Why not send Combustion Man? It's the luckiest stroke of luck ever that Azula is 100 times more competent than her dad.)

Of course, a dictator(-wannabe) sending his daughter on high-level diplomatic missions is pure fiction. Nobody would do that.

The best part of this is that it's entirely realistic and in-character. I could absolutely imagine Ozai purging all of his competent admirals and generals, and then promoting brownnoses like Zhao and crackpots like Qin, because they promised him glorious destinies and secret knowledge of Big Drill.

I also really, really want a scene of Zuko and Azula realizing that their father is a fucking idiot.

I would also like to note that all this stupid shit happens after Iroh leaves with Zuko. So, here's a headcanon: the only reason the Fire Nation didn't immediately implode when Ozai took the throne and purged everyone is because of Iroh. Iroh leaving with Zuko doomed Ozai. It's also a nice little drop of complexity in Iroh's character - he knew he was single-handedly keeping the Fire Nation afloat, yet he only left when Zuko did. Did he plan for Zuko to take the throne from the start? What was his plan before Aang showed up? Did he not intervene in the Agni Kai because he was afraid, or because he knew that Ozai was making a huge mistake and didn't want to interrupt? Give me chessmaster Iroh please.

[xander-wolk]

Corrin suffering at my commissioner’s desk job

For @/thelittlestleafeon.bsky.social! Thank you so much 💖

[krazieka2]

The fatakening trio... about to drop the sickest mixtape ever

[heartbeats-exe]

Jiang Cheng is the picture of “I knew from the moment I met you that I’d spend a lifetime forgiving you.”

Like—start with the dogs. The only gift his father ever gave him, and Jiang Cheng gave them away. Why? Because Wei Wuxian was scared of them. That’s it. No resistance. No conflict. Just: oh, you’re afraid? They’re gone.

That is the blueprint. That is the foundational dynamic. That is the relationship.

His father resents him, prefers his shixiong. His mother tears him down for not being his shixiong. His sister, bless her, loves both of them—but it’s Wei Wuxian who gets the hand on the shoulder, the soft words, the shared wine. And yet. Jiang Cheng never once chooses bitterness over devotion.

He loves him. That’s the tragedy. That’s the rot. Because he never stops.

Wei Wuxian gets dragged into the Burial Mounds and comes back fundamentally altered, and Jiang Cheng still believes in him. Still gives him room to return. Still duels him instead of executing him outright, still spares him even when the sect is watching. Still tells Jin Ling to be kind to him. Still keeps Chenqing in perfect condition, like a grave he refuses to let crumble. Even when Wei Wuxian’s choices leave him hollowed out. Even when all he has left is silence. He still carries him.

And the thing is—Jiang Cheng’s sacrifices are quiet. He never says them. But we know. We know that when he was captured by the Wens, he let himself be caught. On purpose. Because if he didn’t distract them, Wei Wuxian would’ve died.

We know that when Wei Wuxian said, “I can fix this,” Jiang Cheng believed him with his whole heart. And when Wei Wuxian smiled that soft, golden smile, and said “Don’t worry,” Jiang Cheng didn’t. Because when your entire world is falling apart, and your brilliant, impossible shixiong tells you he has a plan—you believe him. That’s what love is.

And when he disappeared? When he died?

Jiang Cheng never believed it.

He said there was no proof. But it always read like something else to me. Like: “I’d know if he was gone. I’d feel it. He’s part of me. I would know.”

This man spent years believing he murdered the person he loved most in the world. And he still couldn’t bring himself to throw the flute away.

Tell me that’s not love. Tell me that’s not the worst kind. The kind that doesn’t die even when it should.

[tuinendraws]

A while ago there was going around an art challenge where you draw your favourite Fire Emblem character of each letter of the alphabet. Figured I'd give it a shot, let's see if I can finish this. Here's ABC.

[ladystoneshart]

random asoiaf social media headcanons:

dany would make those left wing politics/pet grooming videos on tiktok. think like "come trim my bearded dragons nails while we talk about what's happenning in meeren right now" she actulaly studies international politics and has experience with activism so the videos are genuinely informative but she still gets canceled multiple times for, amongst other things: coming from a rich family, abusing her exotic pets (she takes really good care of them) and having a weird boyfriend (more than once).

ramsay kinda blows up on tiktok for making weird and off-putting videos showing his torture basement and bone collection or some shit. everyone thinks it's an elaborate bit but then someone clocks one of his bones as an actual human tibia and people start investigating him on tiktok until the police gets involved. turns out he was an actual serial killer and straight up keeping a girl trapped in his basement. true crime girlies go absolutely nuts over his case and if you open tiktok right now you will see at least 5 different videos talking about it with that fuckass creepy music sound.

myranda royce makes those water mixing tiktoks (you know the ones people put a bunch of random syrups and like red bull in their water to make it "taste good" to the point it can barely be considered water anymore?) while talking about REAL LIFE GOSSIP without bothering to change any names. the only reason she hasn't gotten in trouble for that yet is because she is god's favourite.

jaime makes work out instagram reels on his local gym that are actually barely disguised thirst traps. brienne goes to the same gym as him and gets endlessly annoyed by his bullshit because all his "training advice" is fucking terrible and "uhm some people are ACTUALLY trying to work out here mr. prince charming so if you could PLEASE do this somewhere else I think we would ALL apreciate it" so he starts including her in his videos so she can give some actual work out tips while he just flexes his muscles and tries to look sexy in the background. 99% of his followers are gay men (but he starts getting some queer girls after brienne starts showing up).

I've already talked about cersei being a right-wing grifter/complete menace online but I think that would lead her to becoming this sort of problematic gay icon because she suffers from donald trump disease (simultaneously the worst and funniest person on planet earth). her insane remarks combined with astronomical levels of slay factor turn her into a stan twitter meme (think like a karla sofía gascón or trisha paytas hybrid monster) and she amassess a huge "ironic" following composed of people trying to goad her into (another) mental break down on instagram live and lesbians who are convinced they could fix her if she would just give them a chance (they could NOT). people make thinkpieces on twitter about how you shouldn't interect with her even as a joke because she's clearly a VERY mentally ill woman who thrives on attention but it's no use she's simply too slay to be ignored by the gays.

varys is just deuxmoi.

[veryseriouspenguin]

Kidnap fam headcanon

Hc that Maglor is very good at telling horror stories. He's a minstrel, a performer, basically an actor. He used to scare his brothers to sleep back in Aman. 

Maedhros mentions this offhandedly to Elrond and Elros, and of course they start pestering Maglor for a scary story. Maglor indulges them. 

The thing is, horror stories that post-Sirion Maglor would come up with are slightly different from the ones he told in Aman. It's the kind of stories that would make Ungoliant shit herself. 

And considering Maglor’s acting abilities, the way he hisses like a wraith and laughs like a maniac, the way his creepy whispers echo down the halls of their half-empty fortress… When the night comes, the twins are suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. 

There are strange noises in the dark, the furniture creaking, the shadows moving… 

They end up hiding under Maedhros’s bed.

Maedhros, with his warrior instincts, notices them, of course, but suddenly remembers that, many hundred years ago in a land long gone, he used to have a sense of humor. 

So Maglor is woken in the middle of the night by the feeling of his brother standing right next to his bed. 

Maedhros, in a very uncharacteristic frightened voice: Kano, there’s… there’s a monster under my bed.

Maglor, half-asleep: Huh?

Maedhros: Two of them, actually.

*proceeds to laugh like a madman at his own joke while Maglor just sits there blinking sleepily like a very confused owl*

[i-dared-myself]

Ninth member headcannons

Stray Kids x reader

Requested by anonymous: Heya there! ☺️ Could I maybe request being Stray Kids 9th member headcanons, please? Like, being the only female member and being with them since the beginning. 🤗 And one more detail: could you leave the reader's age unspecified or make her the maknae (sorry, but being a noona really isn't for me 😬). Take your time if you decide to write this, no pressure! 🥰

•When you first joined, Minho def scared you the most. There was just something about his intense gaze. You did warm up to him quickly, probs because you realized he’s a sweetheart.

•The first moment when you realized he wasn’t so bad was when he offered to spend a couple extra mins with you on a dance. You talked during it, and became close friends.

•Chan is such a sweetheart and is so nice about you being the only female member (sometimes he goes so out of his way for you, and you feel awkward) and is the biggest gentleman ever.

•You have a separate room, but it’s in no means your room, y’know? There’s always someone in there hanging out. Whether it’s Changbin hiding from the chaos of the dorms, or Jeongin just wanting to chat, your room has become a gathering space.

•Periods are marked on the shared calendar that hangs in the living room. You don’t do it and you have no idea who’s tracking your cycles, but it happens. Chan books concerts and events around your periods (much to the company’s displeasure) and it’s honestly a nightmare when they come around.

•You’re surprisingly quite pleasant while bleeding out of your vagina. As bad as the pain and other symptoms get, the others somehow are worse. Hyunjin gets sympathy pains like nobody’s business, and Felix checks in on you every fifteen mins to see that you’re good.

•It’s exhausting but exactly what you need. It’s annoying when Chan reads articles about periods and sees one mention of how the loss of blood can lead to anemia and starts cooking so much meat to give you.

•Like the house just becomes a carnivore’s paradise with how much there is. You eat it to make him happy, but when the nausea and the cravings come, Changbin manages to convince him to relent with it.

•Jisung and you giggle and gossip about everything. Hyunjin always has something to contribute to your little sessions and it’s become a Friday night ritual of making popcorn and “watching a movie”.

•Watching a movie stands for shit-talking people you dislike.

•Seungmin always seems to just appear in the room when JYP’s name comes up. Like legit no idea how he knows, but he has a radar for that stuff.

•One second he’s nowhere in sight, the next second he’s whispering in your ear about JYP’s mama. You really regret teaching him about yo mama jokes.

•Especially since he doesn’t really understand them and kinda just throws out English words he knows, so it usually just sounds like “Yo mama is pink dinosaur”.

•Everyone stares for a sec before you snort in amusement. That usually cracks Felix up, who starts giggling out a bunch of Australian words you don’t know, but makes Chan gasp.

•You probs have the filthiest mouth, and are always getting scolded for it. Changbin, Hyunjin, and Chan are always on your case. What if something slips out at a fan meet? What if you say a naughty word in a speech?

•Minho finds it hilarious and one time when you were singing, was whispering all the curses he knew into your ears. Chan was not happy with him afterwards, and you had a good laugh about it at Minho’s expense when he had to do the dishes for a week.

•Chores are evenly divided for the most part, but you refuse to eat any of their cooking. So you do a lot of that while they handle other things, or you order takeout.

•But after you saw them in a kitchen? You had nightmares about that for weeks. (Which Hyunjin laughed about but did stay up with you after). Every time they even mention wanting to try a new recipe, you shoo them away before they burn the place down.

•And for some reason, you have fucking fire drills. It’s not company-mandated, Chan just likes to be prepared. So you’ll be sleeping when all of a sudden your door bursts open and Jisung is screaming as shrill as he can “WEE-WOO WEE-WOOOOOOO” with his phone screen turned to red and he’s flashing it on and off.

•And you scream and chuck a pillow at him and it smacks him in the face. Then Changbin has to carry him out the door as Jisung whines about how hard you threw it. Chan has a clipboard of names and he checks everyone off the list.

•Then everyone realizes Seungmin was sleeping with his headphones on and didn’t come out.

•And somehow you draw the short straw and have to go in to save him. Jeongin starts mourning you as if it’s not a drill, and you have to go back inside and the whole thing is ridiculous because who does this?!?

•So you march back inside, past all the posters of fire that Felix printed out for these occasions(you swear there’s something else in those brownies) and shove Seungmin’s door open. You wrench off those headphones and startle him awake before pulling him back out to Chan.

•He’s pleased that it only took fifteen minutes for everyone to evacuate, and vaguely warns about a security drill that’s soon to happen.

•Jisung is probs the cuddliest, just because he’s not too worried about getting caught up in some scandalous dating rumour, but the others aren’t afraid to snuggle. Minho and Seungmin don’t outright ask for it, so you usually initiate, but absolutely don’t push you away.

•That one SKZ Code with the silk scarves? Yeah, you got tangled up in it pretty much immediately. All eight of them had to rescue you, and you barely made it out.

•Other than that, you’re pretty chill in those kinds of episodes. You generally stick with Jisung and Jeongin (the least buff/try-hards) and just enjoy yourself.

•One time, Changbin tried to start like a book club for some reason, even tho nobody has the time to read. You suspect it was a way for him to force you all to read his favourite book because after the first book was finished, the club mysteriously was shut down.

•Changbin doesn’t have any recollection of that when you bring it up, but you could have sworn it happened. Except Minho doesn’t remember it either, and now you’re like 60% sure it happened.

•Concerts are nerve-racking. You’re always anxious beforehand, but the others soothe you through it. Once you get out and you see the crowd of Stays, the nerves fade away.

•The night after a concert is usually a huge cuddle pile in Chan’s room. It’s an unofficial tradition that you can’t remember when it started, but you love it. It’s one of those moments that prove that the group loves you and that you’re all a family.

•One day after Hyunjin complains about running out of his favourite face wash, you go out to the store. You like seeing the other members happy. So he tags along to make sure you pick the right one, and Felix comes for the thrill of it as well.

•Then you’re being dragged into a back alley and there’s a dude with a ski-mask and a knife. You start hyperventilating and look around for help, but he grabs you before you can run away.

•Hyunjin is screaming and clawing at his own face dramatically, while Felix gets into a fighting position because of his black belts. He takes forever to actually fight the dude, spending about two minutes getting ready. You’re yelling at him because you’re about to die, and Hyunjin is shouting about not wanting to see blood everywhere.

•Then the guy rips his face-mask off, and it’s Minho. You slap his chest and collapse on the ground as you catch your breath. Felix slumps, disappointed he didn’t actually get to fight someone, and Hyunjin scowls.

•Chan steps out of nowhere and says you failed the security drill, and you plot his death. You’re pretty sure if you just get the drop on him from behind and like-

•Life with Stray Kids is pretty chill, although it does have its crazy moments. In the end tho you know they care and respect you, which makes all their quirks worth it.

[h4mmiee]

princess ivy <3

[wileycap]

Selected Excerpts From The Fire Nation Royal Palace Servants' (Unofficial) Handbook

Or: Revisions To Normal Protocol After The Ascension Of Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko

1. Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko should not be referred to by his full titles and styles, no matter the context. This appears to annoy him. "Fire Lord Zuko" and "Lord Zuko" are acceptable, as well as "your majesty" and "my Lord".

1.1 "Lord Hotman", however, is unacceptable.

1.2. Even if the Avatar specifically requests you to address Fire Lord Zuko as that.

1.3. In fact, any attempts by the Avatar, the Lady Beifong, the honorable Tribesman Sokka or even Master Katara to get you to address Fire Lord Zuko by anything other than his proper title should be disregarded.

1.4. Referring to Ozai of the Fire Nation (titles rmvd, dishon.) as "The Loser Lord", however, is acceptable.

2. Fire Lord Zuko is aware of the concept of mortality, but does not seem to understand how it relates to His Majesty. Following activities should be discouraged: Free climbing, glider usage, contact with exotic animals larger than a turtleduck (or smaller, if the animal is known to be venomous), amateur theatre productions, cooking, sailing, spelunking, botany, please see full list in the Matron's office.

2.1. It should be noted that His Majesty's belief that mortality does not apply to him does not appear to be completely unfounded. After several "close calls", it has been decided that upon his demise, Fire Lord Zuko should lie in state for at least two weeks.

2.1.1. We do not want another incident.

3. The turtleducks in the Western Pond do not need to be fed by the servants any more.

3.1. However, the turtleducks should be rotated out at regular intervals in order to prevent overfeeding.

4. At any official social functions, at least three servants should be vigilant in case His Majesty tries to tell a joke.

4.1. It should be noted that there is no concern for His Majesty's jokes being offensive, crass or otherwise contrary to good taste. They are simply very bad. His Majesty always ends up embarrassed.

5. Any children left unattended in the Royal Palace for more than 15 degrees can be retrieved from the Fire Lord's office.

6. Should His Majesty go missing, the following places should be searched: roofs and any high places, cellars and secret passages, the fur of the Avatar's sky bison (which is surprisingly deep), and every place that an ordinary five-year-old would think to hide in during a game of "Hide and Explode."

6.1. All of the Imperial Firebenders as well as any soldier who wears a mask during the course of their duties should be questioned.

6.1.1. Important note: Some of the soldiers who are especially close to His Majesty can perform a passable imitation of him. Efforts should be made to prevent an uneducated soldier from, say, conducting a meeting with the Minister of Agriculture.

6.2. After the recent incident, that list is expanded to include the Kyoshi Warriors and any other groups that might wear concealing full face paint.

6.3. If all of these measures prove ineffective, a letter should be sent to The Dragon of the West, Prince Iroh, asking His Highness to return His Majesty.

6.4. If a ransom note is delivered, it should be immediately checked against the handwriting samples from the honorable Tribesman Sokka as well as Avatar Aang, before any other actions are taken.

6.4.1. Replying "Good luck, he's your problem now" to a ransom note is absolutely unacceptable.

6.4.1.1. To further drive home the point, the Royal Archives are required by law to preserve every single piece of royal correspondence. That thing will end up in a museum.

This handbook will be updated should it prove necessary.

[hellafluff]

Garrus' interactions with Shepard post-Thessia are so fucking well written. Everyone else is telling Shepard they're sorry or doing a soft sad voice asking if she's okay but Garrus has this moving little speech about how losing a fight isn't the end of the war and I just. He's so fucking good. He knows what Shepard needs to hear and has the experience to back up the things he says. He's so good to her

[zhoudadudugongjin]

Nirvana in Fire AU where instead of fucking with the government for justice Mei Changsu is just trying to hook people up Emma Woodhouse style

[hannibard]

....I'm sorry (x)