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cupofteaguk · 5 years ago

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a begin again drabble ↪ or, when a new professor shows up at hogwarts

There are many upsides and downsides to dating Jung Hoseok.

On one hand, he’s genuinely one of the nicest people you’ve had the pleasure of encountering. Being able to date him is just an extension of getting to see what kind of person Hoseok really is. Aside from his kind and understanding nature—underneath all those layers just lay the simple quality and fact that he really is nice and sweet and you adore those aspects of him.

On the other head, he’s genuinely one of the nicest people you’ve had the pleasure of encounter. He’s too nice, too understanding, too sweet and that type of personality constantly threatens to get on your nerves on more than one occasion. Most of the time, it’s little things that can result in exasperated, but otherwise fake, arguments about what to eat for dinner, whether to risk a trip to Hogsmeade during peak grading season would be worth the trouble, if you wanted to sleep over in his quarters for the evening or not…

Those little playful banters are nothing major or serious. They are parts of the relationship you share with Hoseok that makes it so fun, so unexpected, and everything you could have wanted plus a little bit more. It makes you truly realize how well you get along with Hoseok; how perhaps the formation of a romantic connection between the two of you is meant to be and that all those years of being away from each other despite believing neither of you knew each other that well was just a missed opportunity.

But sometimes Hoseok’s kindness really does make you want to strangle yourself. Or him. Or the very new, very attractive female professor who keeps giving him curious side glances and smiles that linger for a second too long—just like right now. And it’s hard not to feel the slightest bit unhinged when Hoseok doesn’t do anything to distance himself from her touches and her giggles.

Maybe you’re just jealous. Jealous over your boyfriend’s relentless good cheer, something that has not faded away or wavered in the slightest even when the pair of you went to school together. Maybe you’re jealous over the fact that Hoseok gets along so well with this new professor in particular—almost the same way that you and Hoseok got along when you first started working at Hogwarts.

The sudden worry that you could be replaceable in Jung Hoseok’s life, the thought that perhaps he would only keep you around until some other prettier, equally doe-eyed individual walked into his life fills your head with immediate doubt. Given that you and Hoseok have only been… somewhat of an item for a few months, it doesn’t fill you with too much confidence in the level of commitment both of you have for the relationship. There’s only so much your nerves will let you talk about before the fear of Hoseok’s expectations not matching with yours keeps you at bay.

It keeps you gritting your teeth together as you hunch over your desk in the empty classroom, attempting to grade the Transfiguration essays your first years have written. However, it’s hard to remain entirely focused on alphabet knowledge when Professor Hoseok and Professor Irene are standing outside the door frame of your class, talking and gushing to one another about god knows what. Normally, you don’t have a problem with Hoseok conversing with coworkers (as with him to you), but something about Hoseok and Irene talking threatens to make your heart drop to your chest and burn up all in a combination that can only be compared to some terrible anxiety.

You’re not too sure—maybe it’s the way Irene laughs a little too loudly and reaches over to oh-so-casually grace her hand down his arm and how Hoseok does absolutely nothing to stop her actions. Even though you don’t know the content of the situation or what they’re even talking about in the first place, that doesn’t stop you from allowing a bitter tang to enter your head, your stomach, your heart. The way Hoseok is smiling down at Irene reminds you a little too much about how Hoseok smiles at you and it brings a fireload of questions down upon you.

You force yourself to remain focused on the task at hand, leaning down in order to keep the pair at your door frame out of your line of sight. It’s still hard to stay preoccupied when the giggling feels as if it’s right next to your face.

You’re about two seconds away from straightening up and hiding away in your own personal office space to get away—not just from the distracting chatter but also from the burning sensation threatening to cloud your better judgement. However, before you can start to make the transition, the footsteps entering distracts you as you look up just in time to see Hoseok making his way towards you.

“Hey you,” He greets, flashing you his typical warm smile that never fails to make butterflies erupt in your stomach but the thought of him smiling at Irene in the same way leaves a more pressing worry that makes it difficult to return his hello.

“Hey,” You manage instead, playing a weak smile in the hopes that Hoseok will simply read it as stress.

It seems to work, because he furrows his eyebrows sympathetically and leans on the desk in the space next to where you’re seated. “Grading kicking your ass right now?”

You hum. “There’s only so many similar versions of the same topic that I can take before my immediate reaction to reading this is to just cross everything out with a giant red marker.” You sigh. Actually voicing the process of your assignments makes you realize that you are stressed out for a number of different reasons and that perhaps Hoseok’s relationship with Irene is the result of the stress. But still, you cannot stop yourself from feeling this way. “But I have to get it done,” You continue to remark, attempting to keep your voice light. “I feel like I’ve been holding back on this for way too long so I have to get them done.”

“Hm,” Hoseok remarks quietly, gaze watching your figure for a moment, as if trying to dephiever the source of your slightly dismissive attitude. Maybe the way you refuse to meet his gaze can be slightly misleading, especially since you’re usually an attentive person during conversations, but the fact that you’ve procrastinated on grading a large collection of assignment probably helps ease the suspicion as he writes off your behavior to stress. “So I guess grabbing a quick lunch in the Great Hall is out of the question?”

“You want to grab lunch?” You ask quietly, pressing your lips together as you sneak a quick glance at the man hovering over your shoulder. “I’m pretty swamped right now—why don’t you ask Professor Irene to go eat with you?” The last part is more of a mumble and is more or less a slip on your behalf and that realization makes your eyes momentarily widen out of fear that Hoseok will get defensive in regards to what that means.

Instead, Hoseok gives you a confused look. “Why would I ask Irene out to lunch? We were just talking a second ago and I’d rather spend my time with you.”

“W-Well,” You start, shrugging in an attempt to feign casualness. “I mean, I’m pretty busy and you guys seem to be getting along really well so it makes sense that the two of you would hang out. It’s not like either of us have many options for friends anyways.”

Your words seem to rid themselves of its dismissive nature because Hoseok actually ponders this thought. “That makes sense,” He reasons with a smile—the type of gesture that reassures you on not alarming Hoseok about the depth of your emotions, but also leaving you to wonder just how much of your sanity will be sacrificed from trying to convince Hoseok about your current state of mind.

As it turns out, it takes your sanity and a little bit more to get through the next few days of the week. Your busy schedule of grading, teaching, lesson planning, and tutoring keeps you away from Hoseok for long periods of time and he seems to use that as a main justification for spending more time with Irene. You catch them in the hallway as you’re trying to dash to the library or to your first class after catching a quick bite in the Great Hall—talking about god-knows-what but always laughing and always lingering closely together that makes the nerves of jealousy and curiosity spike at your heart.

You don’t want to be the controlling girlfriend, the one who tells Hoseok he cannot spend time with certain people even though you’re also the one biting off more than you can chew. You had been the one to say it was okay for Hoseok to hang around other people simply because there were moments where you couldn’t fill that void in his life. But still, seeing him hang around Irene and Irene only brings about far too many questions that should be healthy for a girlfriend to face alone.

Yet the fear of speaking your mind, the fear of Hoseok’s kindness serving as an inability to see where your negative emotions come from, keeps you from speaking but also forces you to stop lingering too closely over the problem. As a result, you unconsciously create distance between you and those problems by burying yourself in your assignments and neglecting your relationship out of fear of saying the wrong thing.

At first, you’re too distracted with grading midterms and answering inquiries from students that it isn’t hard for you to get lost and caught up in the current event of your day-by-day. However, the more time you spend investing in your work, the more time you see Hoseok and Irene in one another’s company, which leads to more conflicted emotions as you attempt to settle your jealousy despite every bone in your body convincing you that Hoseok enjoyed being with Irene more than he enjoyed being with you, which then leads you to bury yourself further and further into your assignments. And the cycle goes on, over and over again.

You’ve never been too good at dealing with specific problems head-on, so your body’s first instinct is to suppress the issue, meaning that you avoid aforementioned issue—meaning that you also avoid him.

“Y/N, I know you’re busy but do you want to grab a quick bite for dinner?”

“Uh—sorry, can’t. I promised a bunch of my fifth years I’d go over their Transfiguration notes before O.W.L’s come up.”

“Y/N, can I walk you to your first class?”

“Aw, that’s really sweet Hoseok but I have to run to the Great Hall super quick just to grab a bagel or something, I’m really hungry.”

“Y/N, do you have time for a little date down at the Three Broomsticks?”

“S-Sorry, a lot of students have told me they’re coming down to my office hours to practice the spells we learned in class…”

Sure, maybe a majority of the excuses you throw in Hoseok’s general direction are entirely truthful, but sometimes you actually go looking for those reasons not to spend too much time with Hoseok. You know it’s a cowardly thing to participate in, but your feelings feel so overpowering and scary that you aren’t entirely sure what would happen or what you would say if they got out of hand. So you resort to saying nothing and hoping that Hoseok would never catch on.

The hope had been stupid and foolish to begin with, and you realize that as soon as you walk out of Great Hall with the remnants of morning toast around your mouth only to find Hoseok waiting for you just outside. He looks disappointed and you can feel that disappointment leaking off his skin like steam and the sight of him after avoiding him for so many weeks aches at your heart. But it also forces images of his time spent with Irene fill your head and it’s just an endless cycle.

“P-Professor Hoseok,” You stammer, unsure why you had to attach formality to his name. After all, it’s not like the whole school doesn’t know that the pair of you are dating—word spreads quickly after people found out he fingered you in his office, but you don’t like to talk about that anymore.

“You’re avoiding me,” Hoseok states, crossing his arms over his chest, going straight to the point and you don’t blame him.

“I’m not,” You retort, but there is a waver in your voice and Hoseok didn’t even need to be your boyfriend to know how badly you lie through your teeth. “I really have been busy Hobi.”

You hope the use of the pet name would help ease the potential argument, but he doesn’t let up. “Okay, but you’ve always been the type of person to take aside a few hours to hang out. I get that you’re busy but you won’t even look at me anymore. What’s up with that? Are you… done with me or something?”

“What? No, no, of course not Hoseok,” You say, letting your own guard down long enough to take a step closer to him. “I didn’t know that’s how you felt—I didn’t even think you would have been missing me…”

The last part of the sentence is an afterthought but Hoseok sees right through it. “Of course I would be missing you, what are you talking about?”

You press your lips together, willing yourself not to say too much but you have a feeling that simply opening your mouth has already unlocked more can of worms than you ever intended. You avert your gaze. “I… I don’t know—you’ve been spending so much time with Professor Irene and you seem to really, really enjoy her company and vice versa…”

“Wait, wait…” Hoseok interrupts, eyebrows furrowing together. “Y/N, do you think I’m cheating on you or something?”

“No!” You interject, waving your hands briefly in front of your face. “No, I don’t think that at all…” You can feel the nervousness etching itself across your face, the adrenaline of nerves and fight or flight streaming through your blood and you wonder how convincing the statement must sound and look to Hoseok. “I mean, I wouldn’t blame you or anything—she’s pretty and smart and funny…” You trail off. The look of absolute disbelief upon Hoseok’s face has told you that you have said too much. “Uh, I have to get going,” You say, blindly taking a look at your wristwatch. You can’t even tell the time with how quickly you glance at it, but you need an excuse to leave the conversation before you could say something you don’t want to hear—or even worse, Hoseok could say something you don’t want to hear. “I have to get ready for my class.”

You turn on your heel and pace as quickly as you can without making it seem like you were trying to escape, but Hoseok calls your name and you know you aren’t as good at hiding your emotions as you thought. But it doesn’t matter, because you are running as quickly as you can to your class. Some students are already piled inside when you get there and hello’s are exchanged as you settle down at the front of the room and begin setting up the equipment for today’s lecture. It’s Draconifor spells with your third years—typically a more difficult spell to learn just because of the overall complexities that come with trying to transform objects into real things; you already have your work cut out for you.

The class starts off smoothly and you think that you can get through the lecture without worrying about Hoseok or Irene or wondering what Hoseok is thinking about—until the door to your class slams open and reveals the man himself standing in your doorframe. Over the course of your relationship, you’ve become accustomed to Hoseok dropping by your classroom during lectures to visit but this is not like his usual visits because he’s wide-eyed with a glint you’ve never seen before.

“Hoseok,” You greet, a touch of hesitancy in your voice and for good reason, given that you had just more or less accused him of cheating on you and so you aren’t entirely sure about what he plans to say. You swallow, wondering if your students can notice the spiking tension in the room. They’re probably use to his presence after having to endure it for so many months. “C-Can I help you with something—?”

“You think I’m cheating on you?” He interrupts loudly, forcing the room into the kind of silence that makes you want to strangle yourself. You clench your teeth together, face burning with the color of humiliation as you stare ahead at Hoseok. You can’t even picture the expressions upon the faces of your students.

“H-Hoseok, this really isn’t a good time…”

“I can’t believe it!” Hoseok carries on, talking as if he had not heard you or had not seen the fact that you are previously occupied at the moment. “I can’t believe you would think that I’m cheating on you. With Professor Irene too!”

“Hoseok!” You retort, cheeks hurting so much that you think you might just die of embarrassment right then and there. The entirety of your face feels so hot that it becomes hard to see clearly but you still manage to make your way down the aisle towards him, attempting to push him without actually having to use physical force. “We can’t do this right now—!”

“No.” Hoseok shrugs away from your touch. “We’re gonna do this right now. We’re gonna talk about this right now because I can’t believe you’d think I’d actually cheat on you!”

“I never said that!” You protest, momentarily forgetting your current setting long enough to fight back and expose your own personal emotions. The room around you suddenly feels empty. “I said I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a crush on her! You’ve been spending so much time with her anyways!”

“Because you said you were busy!” Hoseok points out. “And how could I have a crush on Irene? I have you.”

You press your lips together, having not expected the conversation to go in that direction. “W-Well, I just thought—!” You stammer. “How could you not like Irene? She’s pretty and smart and funny and she’s just so much more put together…”

Hoseok takes in a breath. “Do you think I care about any of that? I mean, those things are fine—but it’s not you. And that makes all the difference because I’m too in love with you to ever, ever look at someone else.”

You freeze for a moment, completely taken aback by his statement, said without an ounce of hesitation or thought—like it’s the only thing he knows better than he knows himself and you are utterly surprised.

Because this is the first time Hoseok has admitted that he loves you.

You are surprised, and it shows in your face. It shows in your widening eyes and parting lips, stolen breathes. Even though you know what he had said, you still find yourself asking: “W-What did you say?”

And Hoseok seems to make this realization as well—the realization that he’s defining his feelings for you with those three dreaded words that could change everything and he freezes. “I, uh… I said…”

“You really love me?” You finish, unable to help yourself and unable to help the way the teasing smile inches itself across your lips.

Hoseok ponders for a second before his eyes meet yours and he takes a step closer. “Of course I am,” He answers. “I’d be stupid not to be in love with you.”

The teasing smile turns into a shy grin; you angle yourself a little to study Hoseok through your lashes. “That’s nice, because I’m in love with you too.”

The corner of Hoseok’s lips quirk up, the beautiful beginnings of a laugh pass between his lips as he steps forward to take you in his arms before—!

“Aw, Professor Hoseok and Professor Y/N are in love!” A shout rings through the third year students in your classroom, causing both of you to jump out of the little world only you belonged to and making you realize that you have just confessed in front of your students.

Given what happened the first time you and Hoseok hit a milestone in your relationship, this shouldn’t surprise you—and you can’t even begin to imagine what will happen once your sixth years find out.

#hoseok scenarios #hoseok scenario #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts fluff #hoseok x reader #hoseok x you #eeeeee hope u guys like it! :-)#wrote this back in 2018 omg still can't believe i have no recollection about sharing this?#i might have but honestly? no memory of such an event

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