#for the transition between suffering and different beast

[brainrotcharacters]

"Now you'll never get back."

Boss music intensifies

[kikiofthevast]

Monstrosity in Epic: An Analysis of Odysseus in "Odysseus" (Song 38)

Disclaimer: Almost all of my analysis is based in information the audience receives from the musical itself and very little of it is based in information from Jorge Rivera-Herrans on tiktok or yt. If he has spoken about this song in videos, I have not seen them, and will not be basing my analysis off this information.

Note: The song "Odysseus" will be referred to with quotation marks in order to differentiate it from discussion of Odysseus the character.

Songs Referenced in this Analysis: "Done For", "Monster", "Different Beast", "Legendary", "Six Hundred Strike", "Hold Them Down", "Odysseus" (these songs are the ones with lyrics pulled from them)

Setup:

This song technically begins at the end of the previous song, "Hold Them Down", with the death of Antinous, the leader of the suitors. This calls the suitors' attention to him, and while it is never directly stated, it is heavily implied based on the previous two songs and the events as they occur in the Odyssey that the bow Odysseus is using is the one that Penelope introduces in "The Challenge".

The purpose of this analysis is to unravel the motifs and parallels that Odysseus shares with every antagonist up until the Ithaca Saga, and the overlap between this song and the others that lead into it. I will be drawing on sections of previous songs and going lyric-by-lyric through "Odysseus".

If I get anything wrong, or you disagree with my interpretation, I'm very willing to have a (respectful) discussion about the show! It's very fun but even as I learn more and more I still feel like I find something new with every listen.

With that out of the way,

The Opening:

The song begins quietly, with the same lead-in as "The Horse and the Infant" and "Monster", though unlike the former, it doesn't transition into Odysseus's leitmotif, and the latter only transitions into a simple riff for "Monster". Here we start with a simple melody on the guitar...

For twenty years I've suffered every punishment and pain From the wrath of gods and monsters To the screams of comrades slain

...which as it builds, gains the choral staccato from "The Underworld" (at least that's what Genius says).

I come back and find my palace desecrated, sacked like Troy Worst of all, I hear you dare to touch my wife and hurt my boy!

This opening is very short, but it gives us an idea of Odysseus's current mindset. It also gives us the CORRECT amount of years that have passed, and we already see mentions of the gods who have gotten in his way (Zeus, Poseidon) and the monsters who have held him up (Polyphemus, the sirens, Scylla, Charybdis). We also see a textual reference to "The Underworld" here (the reason it's not on the list at the top is that it's literally the only time this song is relevant and it's a small relevance). It also calls back to "Six Hundred Strike" here:

I watched my friends die in horror Crying as they were all slain I heard their final moments Calling their captain in vain

Odysseus is back in Ithaca completely alone with family he hasn't seen in 20 years under siege by men who feel entitled to the crown and throne just because he's been absent for all this time. Here again, Odysseus references "Hold Them Down", implying that he's been listening for some time before now and he has been lingering in the darkness in order to make his next move at the most opportune time, a trend we see again later in the song.

We also get, from this couplet, the parallel with Circe, but we'll expand on the exact parallel later on when we get to a Specific Section.

I have had enough

This is where the electric guitar kicks in! As does the choir!

The electric guitar representing Odysseus, as far as I have noticed, first appears in "Survive" in the background. The first time it truly appears as a representation of Odysseus's specific cunning/violence is in "Remember Them".

We also see another parallel to "Survive" here in the choir chanting Odysseus's name as they do with Polyphemus.

The Song:

In the heat of battle at the edge of the unknown Somewhere in the shadows lurks an agile deadly foe We have the advantage, we've the numbers and the might No, you don't understand it, this man plans for every fight

I don't believe that this particular verse contains a leitmotif, but it does contain an important parallel that I'll expand on later.

This song does something very compelling, as does the rest of the Ithaca Saga, in that it focuses on Ithaca in the way the Odyssey itself does. We begin with a song from Penelope, then a song from the suitors, and then this song is also focused primarily on the suitors, and does not follow Odysseus's perspective. The only time we get his perspective is at the end of "I Can't Help But Wonder".

This part sung by the suitors sets up an expectation for the song. Odysseus is unseen, by both the suitors and the audience. It creates both fear in the suitors and a sense of satisfaction in the audience. After the previous song, and even the Wisdom Saga, the audience wants to see the suitors gone. This is specifically designed to give the audience a sense of feral satisfaction at the collective deaths of the suitors while portraying Odysseus's ruthless monstrosity.

We also see another parallel with Polyphemus in "Survive" here where Polyphemus is only one creature, but he kills members of Odysseus's army because he is simply that powerful. Odysseus is only one man, but he is able to pick off the suitors one by one.

Then we get more of the chanting, as well as arrow shots represented by the sound effects. We still do not see Odysseus yet.

Where is he? Where is he? Keep your head down, he's aiming for the torches

Oh man. TWO different juicy things to talk about in just these two lines.

Firstly, we have the return of the suitors' leitmotif! First appearing in "Legendary", the suitors use this motif as a taunt against Penelope and Telemachus:

Where is he? Where is the man who'll have you to wife? Oh Where is he? Where is the man with whom you'll spend your life?

In "Odysseus", instead of a taunt, it's a fearful question. Because they can't see him. The suitors know that he is here, but they can't see him in the dark. A predator you can't see is always worse than one you can.

Also! Here we get the return of the danger motif on the cello! Specifically for the suitors this time, though in the past it's pretty exclusively been used to signal danger/potential danger to Odysseus and his crew. This time Odysseus is the danger, further emphasizing his parallels with Polyphemus, which is the first actual "monster" it appears for (previously appearing during the battle in Troy and in Warrior of the Mind when Odysseus is calling out to Athena).

The following line also introduces my favorite parallel and quite possibly the most obvious one in the entire show (at the end of Scylla she literally harmonizes with Odysseus on the line about how they're the same. It's right there) but this particular instance of it is a bit more subtle and may not catch everyone's eye as a connection.

Scylla's six heads aim for each of the torchbearers, and Odysseus, in turn, aims for the heads of those carrying torches trying to find him in the dark.

Our weapons, they're missing! He's using the darkness to hide his approaches We're empty handed up against an archer Our only chance is to strike him in the darkness We know these halls, the odds can be tilted

And of course, Odysseus has planned for this. The suitors are at a strong disadvantage not only due to Odysseus's armaments, but also because:

You don't think I know my own palace? I built it!

This is Odysseus's cave. This is his island. This is his lair. He knows every inch of this place, and these invaders may think they know something, but he built these halls and probably designed them too. He can navigate it easily even in the dark.

You know the drill for this part. More chanting. More death. Pain and hell on the suitors forever.

The Meat

Old king, our leader is dead You've destroyed the serpent's head Now the rest of us are no longer a threat Old king, forgive us instead So that no more blood is shed Let's have open arms instead-

One thing that's really always struck me about this stanza is that they're still simply referring to him as the old king. They don't offer to back down, they don't bow to him. They simply ask him to show mercy once they're at a disadvantage.

Perhaps if they'd addressed him as something like "my king", he might have considered for more than half a second!

Also, clearly this man has never heard of the Hydra.

Otherwise, there's a few other things to say here.

This is functionally a plea that, now that they're losing, they want to be shown mercy. Ofc we know what Odysseus has come to think of mercy as, but they don't.

Then of course, there's the final line. One of the most important motifs in this show just behind the Just a Man/Monster motifs for Odysseus himself. "Open Arms" is a song that forms the basis for Odysseus's mindset in act one, that problems can be solved simply by peaceful resolution.

We see this and how it is punished by the Cyclops, but we also see that Odysseus's attempt to convince someone else that peace is the way to go (albeit foolishly, violently, and hubristically) backfires in his face, and his attempt to show mercy is seen as a greater punishment than death by Poseidon because it means he has to get involved.

At this point, mercy is so far away as an idea to Odysseus, as are the open arms that Polites encouraged. We'll see more of this later.

We also see this succinctly summarized in his response:

No.

What I find so interesting about this is another parallel to Poseidon, actually.

Poseidon is obligated to kill Odysseus for the harm he caused his son. He has to retaliate, which reflects a lot of his words in Ruthlessness:

I'm left without a choice and without a doubt Guess the pack of wolves is swimming with the shark now I've gotta make you bleed, I need to see you drown

He's not as personally invested in this until Odysseus gets AWAY from him. He doesn't really care, and he's mostly just toying with them like any other mortals before Odysseus uses his cleverness to get away.

Poseidon still has a duty to kill him, and he's also been humiliated by his quick-thinking once. So he lies in wait at the island.

Odysseus is actually doing something similar here. He doesn't Truly hate the suitors, not personally, he hates them for what they represent. Just as Odysseus represents humiliation and hubris for Poseidon, these men represent the threat to his family that he has not been able to prevent from happening. He has a duty to keep his family safe.

Just like Poseidon.

This parallels "Get in the Water" a little bit where Odysseus asks Poseidon to stop, and he doesn't actually ask for mercy. He asks for Poseidon to forgive his slight, which he has apologized for previously.

Poseidon responds the same way as Ody does here, but the key difference is that this is a plea for mercy from one of the suitors simply to avoid being killed, whereas Odysseus attempts to reach out in a seemingly genuine attempt to reconcile.

Besides, Ody doesn't feel like he's on the back foot here. He may actually be, but he's still trying to stand up to Poseidon as an equal. The suitors KNOW they're on the back foot and this is an attempt to backpedal.

Damn, he's more cunning than I assumed While we were busy plotting He hid our weapons inside this room

This is one of the "laters" I mentioned earlier.

Odysseus uses the same strategy that he uses on the sirens here, though Antinous was unwittingly playing the same role he did in "Suffering". The distraction so that Odysseus can sabotage them.

Interestingly, Odysseus is paralleling himself here. Him as "the monster" in "Different Beast" who is luring in the sirens with the promise of food and trapping them while they're distracted. I just think that's kind of neat.

I think it's very important to recognize that Odysseus has been present for the entire Ithaca Saga. He's probably present in "The Challenge", though we get only a faint call of Penelope's name as a confirmation, and we know he Must be present for "Hold Them Down" as he references it directly.

The suitors also continue to underestimate Odysseus even as he slaughters them. Hubris, the classic flaw.

I find it hard to believe that the sharpest of kings Left his armory unlocked

This is a major hint and a good lead-in to Telemachus's appearance. Odysseus's actions thus far don't line up with this instance.

So what? Now that we have armed ourselves Let's make the bastard rot Behind you!

I don't have much to say about these lines. Hubris cont.

But! I have something to say about the music here. because Telemachus's introduction doesn't even require his name due to the distinction of his and Athena's motifs here. We get the quick thought stutter followed by a modified line of the main hook of "Legendary", in a little triumphant riff.

Go Telemachus!

Throw down those weapons And I'll ensure you'll be spared

This I think is our main indication that Telemachus had no idea what was going on before he got here. He just came in and found blood and bodies everywhere. He's probably banking on his dad being noble and understanding and merciful. He is wrong. And that is followed up in the very next line.

Also! The trumpets during this part! Ruthlessness is mercy...and Odysseus has learned that well. The trumpets during Telemachus's lines contradicts his words. All the suitors can hear is the promise of violence.

After seeing what the king will do to us We wouldn't dare

Of course the suitors aren't just going to fucking. Lay down and take it. Odysseus is just going to kill them anyway, and they know it. They've seen what happened to everyone else.

I don't want to hurt you But trust me, I've come prepared

More trumpets! And we get more of Telemachus's pure naivete which is used against him and also contrasts him with his father, who is ruthless and jaded.

Ha! Your very presence has doomed the king, young prince We don't fight fair Stop!

And the suitors are also cunning and eager to exploit an advantage.

Brothers, we got company, and he's made a grave mistake Left the weapons room unlocked, and now they're ours to take Brothers, come and arm yourselves There's a chance for us to win We can still defeat the king if we all attack the prince!

This is I think another moment similar to Polyphemus's introduction in "Polyphemus". The suitors are making a racket, and Odysseus is drawn to it like all of them are. Still, he waits for his moment to strike, and we get a significant moment here:

Where is he? Where is he? Capture him, he's our greatest chance! Get off me! Get off me! Fight 'til the prince can barely stand!

We have the return of the suitors motif here! Telemachus is singing it because he's caught among them. His motif is mostly absent here because he's being physically overwhelmed.

Hold him down! Hold him down! Make the king obey our command Hold him down! Hold him down! 'Cause if he won't, I'll break the kid's hands Got him!

And the return of "Hold Them Down" here, echoing their wants to kill and use Telemachus to get to Penelope, or Odysseus in this case. He doesn't get to have his own motif because his bravado only lasts as long as he can actually exert power, which he does not have a lot of.

The music hits a tense note here, which is immediately undercut by the return of Odysseus's electric guitar accompanied by the Stab. It's not playing any particular tune, it's just a sharp descending riff. This is probably the best representation of Odysseus's rage in this whole song, and it symbolizes that he is no longer playing around.

Mer-merc-

And of course, the suitors plead for mercy when they're on the back foot.

The Part Where I Yap:

Here we get into the real juicy part of the song, with Odysseus's more subtle parallels:

Mercy? Mercy? My mercy's long since drowned It died to bring me home And as long as you're around My family's fate is left unknown You plotted to kill my son You planned to rape my wife! All of you are going to die!

Let's just cover this all at once. Line by line.

Firstly, he mocks the idea of showing mercy at all. The idea of sparing his foes has become alien to him. Especially foes that decide that they can just toss him around and toy with him. He hates the suitors as a conglomerate because of the threat they pose.

Secondly, another allusion to Poseidon. Poseidon literally drowned his crew as a punishment for his "mercy" of letting the Cyclops live. Not only that, but the symbol of his lack of mercy in "Different Beast is literally:

Cut off their tails! We're ending this now Throw their bodies back in the water Let them drown

It's a tangible representation of his change in mindset, and the double meaning here is significant.

Then we have the follow-up, cementing that this lack of mercy was what brought him home. He condemned his crew to death so he could live. He practically tortured Poseidon, and he also literally made the change to become a monster in order to get himself and the rest of his crew home.

The next two lines focus on my FAVORITE parallel, the one with Circe. Specifically, I'm thinking about this last part of "Done For":

My nymphs are like my daughters I protect them at all costs The last time we let strangers live We faced a heavy loss

Circe actively kills and transforms men specifically in order to prevent devastation to those she calls her family. In this case, Odysseus literally acknowledges it in "Monster":

When the witch turns men to pigs to protect her nymphs is she going insane? Or did she learn to be colder when she got older and now she saves them the pain?

Odysseus is willing to be anything if it means he can return to and protect his family. Even if it means becoming the monster, he will do anything for them. He will become as cold as is necessary and he will be whatever is needed.

Then we get the next two lines, the confirmation that he heard the suitors talking during "Hold Them Down" and the sheer rage in his voice truly carries this "verse". He also says the quiet part out loud.

Antinous speaks in innuendo throughout "Hold Them Down" as in this part here:

When the crown wonders where the prince is Only the ocean and I will know

He does talk more explicitly about killing Telemachus in the previous lines, but he never says the "dirty word" kill like Odysseus does here. Same with rape!

(Hold her down) while we share her spoils I will not let any part go to waste

Odysseus says what Antinous won't. Trying to make it sound powerful and flowery and Odysseus cuts right through with his swords and arrows.

And of course, his final line is not a threat, but a promise.

You filled my heart with hate All of you who've done me wrong This will be your fate!

Every single thing that has ever stopped Odysseus or hindered his journey has slowly pushed him to his breaking point. And he's finally snapped, upon learning the suitors' plans for his family, and he will kill everything that stands in the way of him returning home.

And then we go into "I Can't Help But Wonder" and we get a severe tone change!

I hope you enjoyed my analysis of this song. Perhaps drop a reblog if you read the whole thing, and feel free to vote in the poll for the next song:

[nexxocatt]

THUNDER SAGA & WISDOM SAGA RANTS!!

Genuinely how can I live my life normally after this. Like,, HOW.

Anyway,,,

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

TWs/CWs: swearing, mentions of violence and death ig. If you're uncomfortable click off any time!

And without further ado, let's gooo!!

THUNDER SAGA

- Gosh, 'Suffering' is maybe probably most definitely my second fav song (after 'Thunder Bringer' ofc) in this saga. It's just so GOOD UGHH!!! I'm utterly OBSESSED with whoever voices Penelope/Siren Penelope cause they just sound ETHEREAL. Also the amount of memes with the "You know I'm too shy" is astounding. Def my fav part of the song.

- I hc that Ody, in 'Different Beast', when he said "You are no wife of mine!" that he pulled an "erm, actually-" and basically: "Nah cuz you got a few details ab my wife wrong, homie. You see, her ponytail's tips actually reach 3.5 cm lower than that, plus you got the shade of her eye color wrong. And gods she'd never wear that tunic without matching earrings!" Homie's obsessed lmao.

- Oh. My. God. KJ. KJ! THE ABSOLUTE QUEEN GAHH!!! The fucking growl Scylla had on "Give up your honor and wraith!" Made me literally almost fall over. I had a ton of fun just dancing to KJ's vocals. My GOD that's beautiful💯💯

- Tell me y'all can hear the absolute desperation in Eury's voice at the start😭 bro does NOT wanna believe his home bro Ody just gave up six men's lives like that. Also not Jay bringing back the "This is the home of the wind god" bullshit like pls I cried enough at 'Monster'😭😭 And not Eury turning Ody's words around by saying "I'M JUST A MAN!" then stabbing a cow, like HOMIE. WHY.

- Here comes Zeus the party crasher everyone! Yippee! But no, seriously, I've had 'Thunder Bringer' stuck in my head for a while cuz my boy Luke Holt's vocals be giving me shivers. Imma cry cause the absolute pain and crack in Ody's voice when he says "I know..." like,, 😭😭 Also the animatics where the crew just attacks Ody and the dude just accepts his fate are CRIMINAL. Ain't nobody asking me to cry today bro🙏🙏

WISDOM SAGA

- Gotta be my fav saga yet. The "Watchu gonna do about it, champ?" line was delivered PERFECTLY🙌🙌 Ayron is the absolute Top G. Also Miguel's voice for Telemachus is just UGHH SO GOOD!!! Also Tele be like: "STAY BEHIND ME MOM I'LL PROTECT YOU!!🤺🤺🤺"

- Let's fucking go Athena is back on track, baby! Literally LOVE both hers and Antinuos' vocals. They were ON. TOP. I couldn't help but giggle at Tele's "Woah,, that is so sick!!" Like he's my baby boy I love him smmmm!!!

- I ain't got no shit on Athena no more. Home girl's just guilty frfr. "You're a good kid." "Thanks!" AHHHH THEM>>> Anyway, great song. I love Athena now. I don't hold no grudge against her anymore, no siree. She my homie now💪💪

- WANGUI. THE LEGEND FRFR. They could never make me like Calypso but Barbara served. I listened to 'Love In Paradise' on my headphones and did not expect to hear Polites' voice in my left ear and Eury's in my right😭😭 The time-dive was LEGENDARY (haha.) and Ody's screams then him just yelling "ATHENA!!" cause he doesn't have anyone else to call for help was heartbreaking 💔

- Ahhh the fact that Jorge got his dad to voice Hephaestus is so cute <33 And Mr. PAM-PAM was right. Luke Holt's BEASTMODE ZEUS IS PHENOMENAL. I adored the transition between 'Warrior Of The Mind' and 'Legenday' after Zeus supposedly struck Athena down, which were – by the looks of the animatic shown in the livestream – the memories that got the goddess determined to stand back up💪💪 The way Ares' voice almost broke when he asked "Is she dead..?" broke me like😭😭 And whoever voices Hera is an absolute legend how the fuck is your voice that HEAVENLY😳

Also pls let the 'Silly Saga' be a thing, I had all the vids from Jorge's Disney Princess Era plus the Jimmy Neutron specials stuck inside my head non-stop for daysss🙏

Ooh and if we're lucky (and Jorge wants to ofc) maybe we'll get an album with cut songs! That would be amazing!! No pressure for the team tho, whatever they choose will be respected by everyone!

Also guys dw Athena's not dead, goddesses can't die you silly geese🙃 She's just injured n I'm absolutely sure we'll hear more of her in the upcoming Sagas! ^^

That's all for now! Take care y'all!! Stream the Wisdom Saga NYEOW👿👺!!!!

[girlinthetardis04]

LIVE THUNDER SAGA REACTION!!!!!!

Because I wasn't in time with the other releases sadly, but caw caw motherfuckers it's the 4th of July so happy drop day to ME!

Suffering - Different Beasts

Who's singing? PENELOPE??????

ARE THOSE THE SIRENS????????? Or is this just a dream he's having? Hmmmm...

Penny I'll jump in the water for you! Wait did he say daughter? ...Ody would be a great girl dad tho, change my mind.

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THE TRANSITION BETWEEN THE TWO SONGS OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

I FUCKING KNEW IT THOSE WERE SIRENS

"Cut off their tails, leave them to drown" ??????????????

Damn, he's really taking Poseidon's advice to heart, huh?

Wait can sirens even drown, I thought they could breathe underwater... although if they can't move, having their tails cut off and all...hmmm... or maybe they're the classic Greek bird sirens...

Daddy chill 😬

Wait, was it just my impression or did the chanting of "Odysseus" sound like the chanting of "Poseidon" at the start of "Ruthlessness"?

★I love how differently Mr. Jalapeno handled the sirens. In the original Odyssey, Odysseus had himself tired to the mast so he could listen to their song (which highlighted his hubris, that was much more evident in the original text) but having him use the beeswax and read their lips was extremely clever. ★

Scylla

Hmm... Not a huge fan of her voice... Doesn't really fit a monster...

EUCALYPTUS YOU BITCH!!!!!!!

Omg, the "Full Speed Ahead" callback!??!

I genuinely can't understand the lyrics, but I know bad shit is happening. Wait, is that a bit of "Survive" thrown in there?

Nevermind about her voice, it's great 😳

★ Ok, I'm very glad I read the Odyssey when I was 9, because I have a hard time with the lyrics sometimes. I know in this part Ody had to choose between sailing closer to Scilla (which would probably kill up to six men) or closer to Cariddi (which would definitely kill all of them), so I'm assuming this is the bit where the sailors bit it or got bit, as it were★

Mutiny

-Ok, I had to pause here because I was absolutely enraged-

I'M SORRY???? I'M SORRY???? WHO WAS THE BITCH THAT OPENED THE WIND BAG, BLOWING EVERYONE TO WHERE POSEIDON WAS, COSTING YOU 558 MEN, WHICH FORCED ODYSSEUS TO OPEN THE WIND BAG AGAIN, WHICH BLEW EVERYONE TO CIRCE'S ISLAND, WHERE YOU NEARLY LOST THE REMAINING FORTY MEN, AND IN FACT, YOU VOTED IN FAVOUR OF LEAVING THEM BEHIND AND SKEEDADDLING, BUT NOOOO, SIX MEN IS WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE???? YOU HYPOCRITE

Why does this sound like a fighting game miniboss battle?

WHO JUST GOT STABBED?? ODYSSEUS?????

"Where are we?" "Moo" 10/10, no notes

"Don't open the bag"

*proceeds to open the bag*

"Don't kill the cattle"

*proceeds to kill the cattle*

ODY CANON NICKNAME????

Honestly, 99% of the shit Ody goes through

THE JUST A MAN CALLBACK???????

OH THAT IS IT, EURYLOCHOS, GET OVER HERE, I'M THROWING HANDS

Yeah, ok, as an Odyssey reader, everybody gonna die, I been knew, let's move on.

Thunder Bringer

★LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO THUNDER BRINGER, THE SONG I'VE SPECIFICALLY BEEN WAITING FOR, I'M READY BABY, WHOOOO★

Is that the same theme as in God Games??????

Mr Zeus's voice actor, spectacular job, chef's kiss, no notes. Also I saw the animatic trailer, and at the cost of being smited, I get it. I get it.

The way King of Ithaca sounds so mocking coming from Zeus omg.

I VOTE EURYLOCHOS!!!! I VOTE HE DIES!!!!

The crew. I vote the crew. Ody. C'mon. There's only 40 of them left, what is even the point.

Oooh, the call backs??? This should be called the Callback Saga.

"but we'll die" FUCKING KARMA BITCH, SHOULDA THOUGHT ABOUT IT

★No joke, I love the chorus for this song so much, I just laid on my bed staring at the ceiling and smiling like an idiot 😃 <- me, ca 10 minutes ago★

[dabantam]

Homestuck: Troll Biology Head Canon

While brainstorming some ideas for a Homestuck au I’ve been thinking about, I stumbled upon the concept of “xeno trolls”, basically portraying the trolls as being more “biologically exotic” than just “grey humans with horns and weird blood”. With that in mind, I have a few ideas for the different blood castes.

Universal: Along with the usual grey skin, orange horns, and black hair, trolls also have tails and pointed ears, as well as limbs of equal length, allowing them to sprint on all fours if the need arises.

Rust, Bronze, and Gold Bloods: Have the greatest potential for psychic powers, with each specializing in different tasks. Rust Bloods use their powers purely for telekinetic use due to being traditionally servants (and needing to do a lot of heavy lifting). Bronze Bloods tend to use their powers to communicate with animals, seeing as they’re traditionally shepherds. Gold Bloods have the strongest control over their psychic powers, able to use it as a weapon and to operate a vast psychic network (though they do sometimes suffer from a condition called “void rot” that leaves them drained of both physical and mental energy, often requiring them to take pills or be attached to energy canisters to maintain their energy levels).

Lime Bloods: The transitional point between the low bloods and high bloods, the Lime Bloods lacked more advanced psychic powers (though having the ability to sense the emotional state of those around them). While hunted down to extinction in the main universe (though existing on in the form of their “candy blood” mutant variants), an alternate universe shows an Alternia where they continue to thrive, serving as mediators between the low and high bloods.

Olive Bloods: The closest to ancestral trolls, Olive Bloods tend to have more bestial mannerisms and serve primarily as hunters. These same mannerisms also lead to them developing hyper fixations, with many of them becoming avid collectors of various odds and ends.

Jade Bloods: The caretakers of the Mother Grub and the ones responsible for caring for the wrigglers. Jade Bloods are typically an all female caste (though gender is more of a vestigial concept from back before trolls relied on the Mother Grub for reproduction). Also, being a rainbow drinker is a condition that mainly affects Jade Bloods (similar to void rot in Gold Bloods), and while it’s often romanticized in books and movies, it’s often more of a hassle in reall life, requiring at least one feeding of blood a day to prevent them from devolving into feral, bloodthirsty beasts.

Teal Bloods: More or less the same as canon, though acting as litigators between the high bloods (especially the land dwellers and sea dwellers).

Blue Bloods: This is where things start to get weirder. Along with possessing psychic powers to induce limited mind control, they also possess eight eyes, though usually in different variations (like Vriska having seven pupils in one eye in canon).

Indigo Bloods: The second strongest of the land dwellers, Indigo Bloods tend to be a head taller than most humans and possess chitinous plating on their arms, legs, chest, and back.

Purple Bloods: The strongest of the land dwellers, Purple Bloods tend to serve as intermediaries between land dwellers and sea dwellers. Being partially amphibious, they possess slight webbing between their fingers and toes, flattened tails, and eyes and nostrils that are usually higher up on their faces than normal (kind of resembling a weird, fucked up otter overall). As designated leaders of the land dwellers, they’re also leaders of the new worlds’ religion, worshipping the holy trinity: the Grand High Blood, the Sufferer, and the Mirthful Messiah.

Violet Bloods: Second highest rank in the hemospectrum, Violet Bloods tend are much taller than most land dwellers and humans (Eridan being the exception, which is another sore spot for him). Along with having gills, webbed hands and feet, and finned tails, they also possess a secondary set of smaller arms mainly used for grooming.

Fuchsia Bloods: A caste containing a singular member, the Fuschia Blood is the strongest of the trolls (supposedly). Along with the usual sea dweller traits, the Fuchsia Blood also possesses four arms total, as well as being incredibly jacked. While the Fuchsia Blood is the designated leader in the main universe, on an alternative Alternia, they actually serve as the second in command to a higher blood caste known as the Prism Blood, who possesses both powerful psychic powers and physical strength as well as ruling from a floating sky fortress.

[t0kyo-l1ghts]

not gonna lie. obsessed with the transition between "suffering" and "different beast"

and the additional context elevates the first song tbh

[iconicfitnessae]

From China to CrossFit: Alice Piccioni’s Evolution

At Iconic Fitness, we’re thrilled to share the story of a woman whose life is a testament to passion, discipline, and ongoing evolution. Alice Piccioni, formerly a standout Italian soccer player on a local team in China, has always led a life marked by activity and challenge. Her transition from the soccer fields to intense hybrid/functional training sessions was already impressive, but it was her encounter with CrossFit that marked the beginning of a new era in her life. Alice wasn’t just looking to stay active; she craved something that would challenge her strength, endurance, and heart in a completely new way.

What drives an athlete experienced in the dynamic worlds of soccer and functional training to the doors of CrossFit? The answer lies in a mix of curiosity, a desire for improvement, and the search for a community that shares her passion for the limits of human performance. Join us as we dive into Alice’s journey within the world of CrossFit, an adventure that not only redefines what it means to be an athlete but also showcases the power of community, resilience, and personal transformation.

Welcome to Day One

Have you ever heard that CrossFit is for everyone, but not everyone is for CrossFit? Well, in this case, it was love at first sight (on both sides). After living in China for 9 years, fate brought Alice to the doorstep of the gym because someone mentioned there was a place to train near her new home, and that’s how she found what today is her training home. Without a clear idea of what CrossFit entailed, she expected a “Beast Mode” ambiance with everyone doing their own thing, but oh, surprise! It was completely the opposite; she made good friends, and here she was the one to bring Beast Mode to the table.

Resilience Paying Off

Until a few months ago, Double Unders were more of a punishment than an exercise for Alice. However, in the past Open 2024, she was one of the athletes with the best performance in the entire gym, proving that doubles aren’t as hard as they seem. The same story goes for “Handstands”; the first time we tried was an afternoon that, had we recorded every failed attempt, we could have made a viral blooper video. However, she probably feels more comfortable upside down than standing normally now. These are simply two movements she probably never thought she’d do and are no longer a challenge, and the list goes on.

When we asked her what the difference is between this new stage and the programs she’s followed before, she said:

“Is quite social and friendly space which is the environment I was in before and I wanted to keep. But is well balanced with the coaches’ technique level and there’s that spark of competition sometimes that pushes you a little more. I like that there are many techniques to learn and that gives you something to look forward and improve.”

From the Gym Floor to the Competition Floor

The CrossFit Open would take place the following month with three weeks of different types of workouts to measure the level of fitness worldwide, and even knowing there would be movements that would make her suffer, she entered fearlessly and did an incredible job. Less than a year after starting to train, she knows what the thrill of competing and giving it your all is like. A thrill that, I must admit, for many can be a fear of losing… not for her.

Goals to Conquer

Toes to Bar are the next goal, and we’re on the way to working on it. By the end of 2024, let’s hope to look back at this exercise the same way we now view a Handstand or D.U.

To wrap up this segment, we asked Alice what advice she would give to someone who is starting or wants to start, and this is what she said:

“To go with an open mind and not be intimidated. You’ll always find more technically skilled and advanced people around in any gym, but that can be the benchmark instead of making you feel uncomfortable. Everyone started somewhere. No pressure, keep pushing :)”.

If you liked this article or know someone who might be interested in starting their own CrossFit journey, feel free to share it. And remember, at Iconic Fitness, we’re here to support you every step of the way on your path to a healthier, more active life! Click here now and let Iconic Fitness help you make your own evolutionary story.

[mowukamoon]

I REALIZED THE ZUES ONE!!! Y'know how in Mutiny, Zeus kind of cuts off the last line of it/creates the transition between it and Thunderbringer with the lightning bolt? Ody does the same thing with the arrow! Also links it to Suffering/Different Beast with a similar thing!

I-I-I-

Okay, I've been listening to the Ithaca Saga of EPIC: The Musical and I can't even. I love all of it, help. Also, just realized, in Odysseus, he's a mashup of all the monsters he's faced. Polyphemus? He's got his theme. Poseidon? Ruthlessness is mercy upon our fucking selves. His motivation in this fight is very Circe. He's aiming for the torches??? Like Scylla??? Um, Zeus... Not really sure, there's probably something. He locked them in the palace (Calypso). He is the monster, rawr rawr rawr.

[brainrotcharacters]

girlhood is feeling the sexiest during the songs in epic the musical where someone is killing someone else

[laptopcius]

Galaxy (Hayan[MC]/Murphy)

Since a few people actually shown interest in my Murphy fic, I share it with you. I hope this update will give me more inspiration for stories like this and our favorite Cerberus will have a lot of screntime.

Please, let me now, if there are any mistakes, I’m not a native English speaker.

Anyway, enjoy and see you tomorrow, when, I hope, update will be out!

Throughout centuries of guarding gate to land of dead, Cerberus long ago came to conclusion there were things worse than death. He even dared to state that death wasn’t in fact so bad. Especially now, when Hades was too preoccupied with the whole old gods’ case to pay closer attention to condemned in Tartarus and didn’t restrict wild parties in Elysian Fields. One of their regular participants was Charon, whose absence led to terrible cues on Styx’s edges and fights between souls waiting on transport.

Nevertheless, death itself wasn’t so terrible. Just an ordinary transition from one dimension to another, preceded by more or less scary circumstances. Cerberus was unable to comprehend, why people were making such a tragedy out of it, until Artemis has died in his arms for the first time.

And then for the second time. And third. And the next one, and next, and next. At certain point Cerberus stopped counting their farewells. It didn’t matter, how many times he’d lost her, it always hurt just as much. He was ashamed to admit it, but when she died the last time, he didn’t even accompanied her. He holed up in his room and waited for Hades’ arrival. Her facial expression told him everything. A curse once again came true and old gods died one more time. Artemis too.

If it was at least normal death, then he could’ve found her soul in the afterlife. However, she’s vanished for dozen years, then reborn in the next body, unaware of her own identity and power. Cerberus was observing her in different incarnations, a young woman with love for sports. Every time he promised himself he wouldn’t get attached to her, just to fail spectacularly once again. It seemed she was written into his destiny as inevitably, as death was written into hers.

Yet in this incarnation everything looked even worse. Cerberus got used to his suffering, well, he long ago stopped caring about it, but he couldn’t stand a thought of hurting someone else. Especially someone like Adrian, his close friend, comrade he could always mutually count on. Cerberus had no r i g h t to feel something towards Hayan, no matter of her divine origin. Who he even was to care so deeply about a goddess? Even if the curse wasn’t a thing, Cerberus condemned himself for an eternal misery.

Well, he didn’t care. As long as he could immerse himself in her light, he didn’t wish for anything more. As a beast he couldn’t count for anything else.

At least that what he thought. But after that memorable accident, when she called out his name so desperately in the first place, even though they fell out few months before, a glim of hope appeared in his heart. And he, ravenous for her warm, couldn’t stay away anymore. Within a couple of days they reestablished their relationship completely. In fact, they took it even further. For the first time in forever Cerberus let himself to be egoistic and pursue the goddess he longed his entire existence. She wasn’t with Adrian anymore and she seemed to some degree interested in him. Who was he to say ‘no’ to her? Even if he was to lost her again, he wouldn’t back down.

Just once… just once he wanted to taste love. Bitter, unrequited, selfish, but h i s. It was enough of an honor to have Hayan accepting his feelings. He was ready for anything to bring her even a glimpse of happiness.

He’d sacrificed everything for her. His position, his pride, his life.  

Those were the thoughts that guided him to whirlwind of battle with Minotaur. Hound against bull. One beast against the other. All for Hayan to help her achieve her goal. Determined, he didn’t even felt any pain, until Minotaur didn’t throw him against the walls of labyrinth. With the greatest pain Cerberus picked himself up from the floor and helped Aphrodite leave. He limped, a few of his ribs were broken, light-orange blood was dripping from the corners of his mouth and bruises covered his entire body, but he felt fulfilled.

He helped her. Thanks to him she was one step closer to break the curse. Thanks to him she could control her power better.

No, not thanks to him. She always had it in her, she just had to recall it. And he was honored to experience it with his own two eyes.

He fell on a bed with no strength. Despite his pleadings, Hades didn’t allow him to move anywhere and ordered him to recover first. He agreed with her reluctantly. He was exhausted. Yet he still wanted to go after Hayan, check if she was alright, even if she didn’t bother to approach him after the fight.

He swallowed his disappointment. She had her own matters to attend to. It’s not like she owned him anything. What’s more, she saw his true form. Maybe she got scared, maybe she was disgusted. Sole thought of it made him sick to the stomach.

His eyelids closed on their own. There was no point on dwelling on it now. He couldn’t take back time and he couldn’t change, who he was. He could only hope for another day with her.

At least one more day. Then, if she asks him, he’ll let her go.

He woke up a few hours later due to the pain in his wrongly placed arm. He rubbed his eyes drowsily and turned over. Only then did he notice a woman sitting beside his bed.

Hayan. She was here. With him.

She leaned her arms on the mattress and hid her face behind them. Her thick, brown hair was tied into ponytail, thus Cerberus was able to notice her covered in dust forehead and unhealthily pale skin. He couldn’t even imagine, how tired and stressed she was within last few days. She always felt like that, when she discovered her identity and curse upon her. And he always lied this time everything will end up differently.

But t h I s time he truly believed in it. That’s why he needed to take care of Hayan’s health and comfort. He slowly lifted himself up to sitting position and leaned towards sleeping goddess.

‘Hey, princess.’ He subtly nudged her arm. She opened eyes. Seeing her half awake face, Cerberus smiled unwittingly. ‘Come on, you need to rest.’

He pulled her to his side. Hayan passively let him lay her down on a bed.

‘What about you?’ she muttered hoarsely. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m fine’ he answered without hesitation. He still felt weak, but he should be fine within a couple of hours.

‘You sure?’ she touched his ripped, soaked with blood shirt. Just then Cerberus realized he still was half-turned. He dropped his gaze, suddenly overwhelmed with shame. Not only did Hayan had to see him as a beast before, but even now she had to bare his sight. ‘What’s wrong? Why aren’t you looking at me?’

She touched his face, trying to draw his attention. He gulped nervously, still avoiding her gaze. She shouldn’t touch him now, when his skin was rough, teeth turned into fangs and eyes shone like two lava ponds.

‘I…’ He hesitated, clenching his fists hard and digging sharp nails into his own palms. ‘I promise I’ll turn soon’ he blurted out. Hayan raised her eyebrows.

‘You don’t have to. I told you I don’t mind your second form. Don’t you believe me?’.

‘I do, princess, but it’s not about you. It’s about me.’ He knew his words sounded cliché, but he really meant it. This shame was deeply engraved in his heart and even Hayan’s assurances couldn’t erase it. ‘I hate shapeshifting and I hate showing my true form. It reminds me too well of who I was meant to be.’

A beast. A guard. A pawn in hands of Hades. Feared by mortals, abominable for goods. Too strong for people, too weak for Olympians. An abomination serving perfection. Always trying his hardest, but never good enough.

‘You’re so much more than that, Murphy.’ She moved even closer to him, and held his head with her soft hands. This time he couldn’t avoid her eyes, looking deeply into his soul. ‘You’re the funniest and the most loyal guy I’ve ever met. You’re my friend, my lover, my strength. You’re the shoulder I want to lean on and arms I want to snuggle up into. You’re my favorite person, Murphy.’

For the first time in his life, he was at loss for words. His heart was beating so fast and loud, he was nearly sure Hayan could hear it as well.

‘You really want to make me cry, don’t you, princess?’ he whispered, unable to raise his voice. If he did, he would probably break down. And crying was the last thing he wanted. Today they won, so they should celebrate, not drown each other in river of tears.

‘Actually, I want to kiss you.’ Tip of her nose touched his. ‘Can I?’

‘Now?’ He pointed at his chest. ‘With my face like this?’

Hayan smiled brightly. Murphy swore he saw an entire galaxy in her dark eyes.

‘I told you I don’t mind it.’

Then she kissed him. She kissed him as if they had an eternity before them. And he clung to her as if he could make it true.

[bookstantrash]

A/N: Special shoutout for @perseusannabeth @thewayshedreamed and @arin1030 for blessing my year with their amazing one shots/multi chapter updates even though 2021 has barely began. Your beautiful writing made me take a break from frying my brain with studying.

So here it’s, Part Six. Enjoy!

In which she makes a friend, Part Six

“Arms up. Feet apart” Nesta followed his instruction, getting in position “I want you to focus all your power in your fists. Redirect the flow to them.”

It was not Cassian’s voice who Nesta heard. No, it was the voice of the Lord of Bloodshed. Of the Commander of the Illyrian Armies.

They had been trying for an hour, maybe two. Today was the second time in the week since they’d first started training together that Cassian was trying to teach Nesta how to maintain a constant flow of her powers. To not let her spend herself with one killing blow like she had done with Hybern.

It was hard. It was impossible.

Nesta had no ideia of what she was doing. She couldn’t tame the beast inside her to behave and do what she wanted to. She felt stupid while silently willing her fists to gather that blinding light she had fired at Hybern or even the silver flames that appeared when she lost control.

Nothing had happened in two days.

Not to mention she also had to think about her fighting stance, balance, Cassian counting out loud while she punched, all the while keeping her grip on her power.

And she had not been able to confront Cassian about the troubles at camp that he was keeping from her. That only made her more annoyed and restless.

“Focus Nesta” Nesta snapped back to attention at his words “Your figure is excellent but your mind is far away. If you get distracted on the battlefield you can get hurt. Or worse, killed”

“I am paying attention. If you could only be more precise about what exactly I’m supposed to be doing—”

Cassian laughed, which only served to ignite that fire that seemed to roar whenever they were in the same room.

“My powers are totally different from yours sweetheart. You have an enormous amount of it too, from the little I’ve seen” his hazel eyes scanned her, as if he could see beneath her skin and pinpoint where her power resided inside of her “But you lack control”

“Aren’t you supposed to be some legendary warrior? With seven siphons and all that” she spat back, wanting to jab him at his poor job at teaching her, but she only earned a feline smile back.

“Have you been paying attention to me Nes? I’m flattered” he placed a hand on his chest, feigning surprise.

Nesta gritted her teeth. Most of the time, she didn’t know whether to throttle him or kiss him. Sometimes both.

“Whatever you’re doing right now sweetheart, keep it up” Cassian said, amazement lacing his words.

Nesta raised her fists, which had fallen beside her body during her spat with Cassian, and she realised that she had done it. The silver flames that sometimes appeared were dancing along her hands, turning the air around them hot, although they did not burn her.

Nesta allowed herself to feel proud. She had done it. She could feel her power flowing all through her body down to her hands.

Raising her fists, Nesta got into position like Cassian had taught her.

And she punched him.

Cassian allowed her flaming fist to get dangerously close to his face before he dodged it, sidestepping. She aimed again. And again. Until they were dancing a dangerous dance, Cassian blocking and avoiding her fists, while Nesta concentrated in keeping the flames alive and remembering the correct steps.

She thought she had finally caught him, feigning a punch towards his face while actually aiming at his gut — a move Cassian had recently showed her — when he took her arm in an arm lock, pulling her body flush towards his.

“That was good” he breathless said, so close Nesta could see the green in his eyes “But you still are too slow in the transition. And you look at where you want to hit me. That’s what gave you away”

Nesta opened her mouth the retort, but no sound came out. She got conscious of how close they were. Of how Cassian didn’t seem bothered by her flaming fists.

She didn’t know whether she was feeling hot due to the exercise, the flames or the proximity with him.

“You are always surprising me, you know that?” Cassian murmured, his breath sending chills down her spine.

She was burning. She couldn’t breath or think, her thoughts running fast and incoherently around her head. She could only look at him.

She wanted to pull him closer.

She wanted to push him away.

She wanted to kiss him.

She wanted to scream at him for making her feel this way.

Nesta wanted and wanted and felt everything too deeply. His body against hers. His breath, mingling with hers. His grip on her army getting loose. His deep hazel eyes like molten chocolate, his pupils dilating and his gaze flicking from her eyes to her mouth and—

A bird’s cry shook Nesta out of her trance, and she quickly put some distance between her and Cassian, her flames flicking out.

Dangerous. It was dangerous to allow herself to get close to him. To let him slip between the bars in which she caged her heart.

“I think that’s enough for today” Cassian said, nervously clearing his throat “You— Are you going to train with me and Kaelin today?”

Nesta trained with Cassian everyday in the mornings, Kaelin joining then in the afternoons after her own training was done. Cassian had proposed to Nesta that she practice in the afternoon only three times a week for now. He said it was best not to demand so much of her body in the beginning.

But he always asked her if she would join then or not. Even if it was the day all three of them were supposed to train together.

“I’m fine” Nesta managed to say, grateful that her voice did not give away how she was feeling “I’ll be here”

Cassian only nodded, his eyes looking everywhere but at her. If Nesta didn’t know any better, she’d think he was just as shaken as her.

“Azriel...Azriel is coming to Windhaven tomorrow” Cassian blurted out, before Nesta could excuse herself.

Nesta only raised an eyebrow in question, as if to say ‘go on, I’m listening’

“He’s going to stay here four days, maybe a week. We have some... some matters to discuss”

“Matters about the Illyrians rebelling?” she asked, taking him by surprise.

“How—”

“Just because you tell me nothing it does not means nobody else does” she snapped.

“It has nothing to do with you” he snarled and Nesta raised her chin in defiance.

“I think it does if I live here now”

“I didn’t want you here”

Nesta felt as if she had been punched in the gut. She felt that spark that had been slowly coming back to life vanish, turning into cinders.

As if it never was there.

“Wait, I— I didn’t mean it like that” Cassian desperately said, seeing the change in her mood.

“Of course you did” she snorted “I’m no more of a burden to you than I was to my sister. I understand”

“No, Nesta it’s not that” he ran his hand through his hair, freeing it from the bun that held it “Please believe me”

Nesta only remained quiet, eyeing him. Trying to decide if he spoke the truth or was pitying her.

“You have suffered enough. You have given enough. You don’t need the weight of another war on your shoulders. I—” he took a sharp breath “I cannot bear to see you go through it all again. I thought it was best for you to not know about it”

“It was not your decision to make!” she spat at him “You should have thought about that before banishing me here!”

“I told Feyre this was a stupid ideia! But she was desperate!! She blames herself for all the dangers you and Elain went through and she had no ideia what to do!!”

They were both screaming now, each one louder then the other.

“Sending you to the human side was off limits given the human queens! The other courts are civil at best with the Night Court! And I doubt you would want to be sent to another court were you knew no one and they were all wary of you” he laughed in disbelief “At least here I could— you would know someone”

“It was not her decision to make” Nesta said, her powers raging inside of her, all control from a few moments ago gone.

“I know that. I can—” he shook his head, trying to find the right words “I can try to call in a few favours. Maybe Helion...the Day Court is beautiful and his library even more spectacular. Or Dawn. They’re neutral ground and you seemed to like the last time we were there. For sure not Winter. I think you’ve had enough of this dreadful weather”

Cassian started to mumble to himself, trying to come up with a solution.

“Would not your High Lady need to approve it?” poison filled Nesta’s word, angry of how she had been banished by her youngest sister before “Don’t you report back to her about me?”

“She only asks how you are doing. If you’re eating. If you came out of your room. And I don’t say nothing else besides it. Feyre worries. She feels guilty of what she did” his eyes meet hers “She would not have to know. You could go, and I would only say that you were well when she asked. You don’t need to stay here Nesta. I won’t be your jailer. I have already failed you enough”

And Nesta knew — be it due to the raw emotion in Cassian’s voice, the way he looked so distraught, his hazel eyes pleading at her — she knew he was telling the truth. That he would get her out of Illyria. Would let her have her way.

She was tempted to say yes.

To say yes and run far far away from the eyes that seemed to judge and burn and condemn her, all the way from Velaris.

But then she thought of Kaelin. She thought of all the healers, the females and children at camp.

If a civil war was to break out, who would defend them? Who would make sure they’d not be in the middle of the cross fire? Who would make sure Kaelin was not found out?

And Nesta made her decision.

“I will stay” she declared, making Cassian look at her in surprise.

“But I have a condition” she added “You will not hide anything else from me. You will tell me what’s happening here. What’s happening with the queens. With the other courts. I won’t stay in the dark any longer.”

“I promise you Nesta Archeron,” he said, his voice full of emotion “I will tell you even the Mother’ secrets if you want to”

~•~

Nesta spent the rest of the day lost in thought. Her conversation with Cassian — or screaming match to put it more truthfully — had opened some old wounds. Wounds she had thought to be already closed.

How foolish had she been.

Her quietness did not go unnoticed. Jacira was more talkative than usual, trying to cheer Nesta up and make her come out of her shell by any means, not caring if Esmée reprimanded her. But even the head healer took notice of Nesta’s mood.

“We don’t have much work today. You can deliver this tonic for me and then retire for the day” Esmée had said, a tad softer than usual “Now shoo! This won’t be delivered if you stay here looking at me”

And so Nesta found herself standing in the small craftsman center of the camp, walking towards a wooden building, its glass window identifying it as a clothier. The bell above the leaded-glass door tinkled as Nesta entered, warning of her presence.

“The shop is closed” a sharp voice said “Come back later”

Nesta looked at the female behind the polished counter. She had dark hair, which was braided in a style similar to the one Nesta favoured, offering a clean view of her sharp brown eyes. She wore a simple green dress, and Nesta noticed the female’s wings. The scars on them.

“I didn’t come to buy anything” Nesta walked towards the counter, placing down the package containing the small vial “I came to deliver this. I take you ordered this from Esmée?”

The female nodded, taking the package.

“So you’re the High Fae who’s working alongside the healers now” Emerie scanned Nesta, eyeing her pointed ears.

“What of it” she replied, straightening her spine, a mask of cold boredom on her face.

“Nothing” Emerie raised her chin, her posture matching Nesta’s “No wonder you decided to help them. They’re nice, and even Esmée’s presence is more pleasant than staying all day alone”

Nesta tried to calm down the fire inside of her, raging at the implication. She didn’t need her powers getting out of control here, destroying the store and hurting the female.

“Males are such emotionless creatures, don’t you agree? ” she added, waiting for a reaction back “I hope you gave the Commander hell for leaving you by yourself like that”

“He’s not— we’re not a couple” was Nesta’s only reply.

Emerie intrigued her. She was not like the other females Nesta had meet. She could recognise the fire inside of her, meeting Nesta’s gaze without fear.

She reminded Nesta of how she had once been. Before the war. Before she was Made.

“You aren’t?” Emerie raised an eyebrow, shrugging “Either way, I for one know I wouldn’t leave a guest unattended for such period.”

Nesta was excused from answering when the door opened, a familiar voice greeting them.

“Emerie, I finished with my deliveries, is there anything else I—” Kaelin stopped mid sentence, seeing the scene before her eyes.

“Kaelin, what are you doing here?” Nesta asked, surprised to see the girl.

“I do deliveries for Emerie sometimes. To the families who live too far or are too poor” the young girl stretched her wings a bit, shaking off the cold “Esmée let you go earlier today”

“She asked me to deliver something and call it a day” she inclined her head towards Emerie.

“Well, it’s a good thing then! You can stay for tea with me and Emerie!”

Nesta felt her cheeks redden.

“Kaelin, you can’t just invite me to someone else’s house!” she hissed, shocked at Kaelin’s boldness, her old manners classes coming to mind.

“I’m not bothered” Emerie said, coming from behind the counter “I can have some kind of courtesy towards those who I want to”

Kaelin grinned and opened a side door with a staircase — which lead to Emerie’s home in the upper floor of the shop — already moving up.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to” Emerie added, seeing Nesta hesitate “Kaelin tends to act before he thinks. But I know he’s a good kid, so I won’t be offended if you choose to go back to your General’s home”

Nesta thought about saying how Cassian was not her General. How his home was not hers. How she had a thousand thoughts screaming in her mind. How her powers were singing beneath her veins and how afraid she was of losing control.

But she was even more curious about Emerie, a female who did not bow like the others, the sole owner of a shop in such a place as Illyria.

“I hope you have biscuits” she choose to say instead, feeling hungry for the first time in long while, the thought of eating not scaring her in the least.

•

Tag list: @sayosdreams @thewayshedreamed @sjm-things @perseusannabeth @arin1030 @caotica-e-quieta @vidalinav @swankii-art-teacher @ireallyshouldsleeprn @duskandstarlight @greerlunna @thegoddessaltenia @dayanna-hatter @verypaleninja @awesomelena555 @courtofjurdan @allilal @sensitiveillyrian @moe8 @illyrianwitchling13 @silvernesta @bri-loves-sunflowers @queenestarcheron

{Please let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list}

[that-tall-queer-bassist]

The Thunder Saga

here we fucking go

Suffering

Going from Monster to this... ough.

this is such a pretty song though tbh

"you know i'm afraid of the water"

with their "daughter" XD

"I would take the suffering from you" I'm sure you could

this is so PRETTY THOUGH

he's so not slick though

her little "oh no" sounds so insincere XD

i wonder if charybdis is in this cuz they didn't even mention her

this is so pretty especially with both of them.

the immediate transition though ough

Different Beast

the SCREAMS

the brass in the background is so fun

the DRUMS i love them

this song goes so hard and its such a turning point i love it

its when i was Aware of how he'd changed

Different Beast and all that

"We won't take more suffering from you" yeah YEAH

So lucky Odysseus is smart, but also maybe thats why it keeps going so wrong

he's smart but not humble enough

too many good lyrics to write down

i love the chorusing of the crew though, i always do.

"naw, you wouldn't have spared me"

drowning the sirens is especially cruel though.

"He is the man made monster" ...ough

the screams are so siren like and so haunting

Scylla

this song gets me. because yeah, he really did do that.

He's QUIET

because because because the PLAN

oh i missed that eurylacaus opened the bag.

lighting six torches. oof.

the "Hello" is BONE CHILLING i got goosebumps

"Run!" asdhfjj

all of scylla's lines slay though

slayyyyy queen

"We are the same you and i" AS A DUET??? OH

THEYRE BOTH MONSTERS OH MY GODD

AHHHHHHHHHH

Mutiny

the confrontation YUM YES

the derision in the title of "Captain" omg

calling the crew friends like odysseus does...

He became the monster...

the guitar is so good!!

"brother"

"If you want all the power you must carry all the blame!"

TELL HIM TELL HIM

"There is no price he won't pay"

the gasp.

The returning motifs.... augh

being stabbed (ha) would hurt less than this song omg

theyre almost back... almost back...

the COWS dont kill them :<

if only they would listen to their captain, who betrayed them.

The end of this song is so fucking tragic. so fucking terrible and amazing and tragic and heartbreaking

devastating

the return of motifs.... im a slut for the returning motifs

"I'm just a man" AND IM JUST CRYING

"You've doomed us all!"

the small "captain?"

i love that canonically the cows were helios's friends

the thunder and the quiet "we're too late"

Thunder Bringer

THUNDER FUCK YEAH

and that synth fucks

love the electric instruments on this i bet that was purposeful

Zeus is such a scumbag but damn his voice is good, and the melody is so :brainfull:

Love to hate him

This is gonna make me cry omg

torn between vibing and crying over the Destiny of the crew

making odysseus choose is so fucking terrible

because his crew did just mutiny and try to kill him. but-

AHHH MOTIFS AND RETURNING LRICS AND LINES

i love the return of "Just a man"'s lines im so CHOMP biting scratching clawing at the walls

"But we'll die" "i know..."

AUGH

the return of straight Vibes

Yeah zeus sucks but he's so good at the same time. Love to hate him <3

this song is so pretty and for what

Live Reaction of my SECOND listen through of EPIC: The Musical

okay i want my Thoughts after finishing the first listen through today (over the course of a week) but i need to listen Again so here we fucking go peoples. Reblogging with each new saga to keep things organized a bit :)

The Troy Saga

we start!!

The Horse And The Infant

"little ajax stay back" 🥺

"You're not ready"

"I could raise him as my own" I WISH PLEASE

the whole section with overlapping dialogue of possibilities and the tragic ends they would lead to

i wanna know who that guy speaking was i don't remember

Just a Man

its so tragic how this infant reminds him of his own son like what the fuck thats so fucked up how could jorge do this to us. OW.

"close your eyes and spare yourself the view" Q^Q

this whole song gets me. especially paired with WolfyTheWitch's animatic to it. augh.

GOD knowing that all of these metaphors come back later and become Relevant i CANT OMG

"Forgive me" is probably the worst thing he could say because i do and i can't at the same time, but he's not asking me to forgive him, he's asking this INFANT who he KILLED AUGH

Full Speed Ahead

600 men. 601 with Odysseus

god this really is just setting the scene huh. and well!!

He really did wanna go home as fast as he could

OH MY GOD MY BOI I FORGOT ABOUT HIM AND HIS OPEN ARMS

his voice is like. angelic. wow.

"and if we don't return, then 600 men can make this place burn" i forgot about that woah

Open Arms

"My friend" my heart hurts

"This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms" oh sweet boy

the sound of a sword being drawn is so good omg

"600 friends are waiting for us to show our faces" XD bruh not subtle

EVEN LESS SUBTLE

Polites i love you

"My friend" you are friends yes please remember that please

Oh i forgot the lotus eaters sent them to "this food filled cave"

"I see in your face there is so much guilt in your heart" AUGH MY BOY

the repeating by odysseus...

"You can relax my friend" at the end like AUGH thats so GOOD and then the immediate next song being Warrior of the Mind !!! very good very tragic

Warrior of the Mind

immediately the music change raises the tension

the way Odysseus immediately knows who she is, hears or something, i love it so much.

"Have you forgotten your purpose? Let me remind you." AUGH hes not a man, but a tool

He seems like more of a conquest or trophy than a person to her, which is fair given he's a mortal and she's a goddess but damn this really does just keep happening to him, being a gods plaything huh?

THIS CHORUS GOES SO SO HARD THOUGH

"Maybe one day he'll follow me and we'll make a greater tomorrow" the way she sings this makes my brain so happy

the whole chorus just scratches my brain in such a good way omg

the slowness. "show yourself"

HIS LITTLE LAUGH

the whole exchange honestly

"nah, don't be modest, i know you're a goddess, so lets be honest-" YES YES YES

"YOU ARE ATHENA" WOOOOOOOOOOOO CLAPPING CHEERING

his description of her is great

"goddess and man, bestest of friends!" "We'll see where it ends" "okay" asdghkjsa im wheezing

THEIR DUET

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

"ending on "don't disappoint me" is so mean

[twstarchives]

Ashton Vargas・Voice Lines

These voice lines were obtainable in the shop during the 4th NRC Unified Exam event (June 16 - June 24, 2021).

About the Academy “A sport’s end result depends on the condition of the lawn. That’s why I maintain our field on a regular basis. There’s a close correlation between lawn growth and muscle growth.”

“I’ve heard about enchanted mirrors before, but you never see ones that can assess the qualities of your soul. Not even I ever came across one before coming to Night Raven College.”

About the School Facility “I will not tolerate anyone that steps foot in the coliseum if they’re not going to give it their all! I’ve seen too many students in there crying and drenched in sweat. That’s the one place on campus I have strong feelings about!”

About Himself “You want to know what I was like when I was younger? Well... There was no man in town as great as sports, as handsome, or that had as thick of a neck as I did! Every guy would’ve loved to be me. Ahaha! Ah! Just like it is at this academy!”

“My hometown would sometimes get hit with freezing cold weather. But it never once bothered me. ‘Cause I’ve built strapping muscles by eating four dozen eggs everyday since I was a lad!”

“It should be obvious just by looking at these muscles I’ve built, but there are hardly any clothes that fit me. Everything I wear is custom-made!”

Towards the Students “Body training improves your focus. And if you improve your focus? You improve your ability to control delicate magic. So to sum it up, the most important thing for a mage is... MUSCLE!”

Incidents & Memories “I feel sorry for the life you and Grim have by staying at Ramshackle. Just imagining the creaking floor and rampant muscle-less ghosts while I’m doing my squats... It’s got to be tough being in an environment unfit for workouts.”

“I didn’t go to Night Raven College, but I knew this academy very well back when I was a student. They’ve made us suffer countless times during magift tournaments!”

“A problem that’s been weighing on me is the inter-school magift tournament, where we’ve lost to Royal Sword Academy 99 times. ...No, it isn’t like me to look upset. Smile! Smile!”

About the Staff “I invited Crewel to a workout, but he just told me ‘I’m going to clean my beloved car, so excuse me.’!!? Who does he think he is? He clearly doesn’t know the importance of muscles! No one says ‘no’ to Vargas!”

“I heard that nobody’s seen what’s under the headmaster’s mask. But he’s a kindhearted man; he’d probably be more than happy to show it if someone asked him. So that’s why you’ll go try! Don’t be shy! You should always rise to the challenge!”

“Professor Trein is an avid bookworm. He’s always reading a book whenever I see him, but I have no clue what he finds so interesting about them. It’d be a lot more useful if he switched to lifting dumbbells!”

“Sam’s good at business, playing piano, and even divination, but he’s not gonna outdo me! Other than magift, I’m great at skiing, ice hockey, and killing beasts! ...Huh? I swear I have plenty of other talents!”

Lesson Start “Time for class!”

“Everyone goes wild at the sight of me.”

“Magic starts with muscle!”

Lesson End “Strive to be like me, burlier than anyone else!”

“Hm. You need to put more muscle into it.”

“You’ll train harder next time. Stay hyped for it!”

Test Transitions “It’s finally the moment you’ll show us all the muscle you’ve built!”

“Take on this test with all your strength.”

“Finish your warm-ups.”

Test Win “Nice muscle! You’ve done it.”

“Regularly training has paid off!”

Test Lose “Alright, you’ll start muscle training from now on.”

“You still don’t have enough agreement with your muscles.”

Profile Quote “At this academy, you’ll train till your bodies are as built as mine!”

Easter eggs ↓

I’ve heard about enchanted mirrors before

A reference to the enchanted mirror the Beast gave to Belle?

There was no man in town ... that had as thick of a neck as I did! Every guy would’ve loved to be me. ... by eating four dozen eggs everyday since I was a lad.

These are all lyrics from “Gaston.” The JP dub has two different versions of the lyrics; curiously, the way Vargas phrased “There was no man in town” only exists in the live action film while “Every guy would’ve loved to be me” only exists in the animated film. They’re both present in the EN dub.

Who does he think he is? ... No one says ‘no’ to Vargas!

Mirrors one of Gaston’s lines.

There is a scene where Gaston is unable to understand why Belle loves to read; this is most likely where Vargas’s feelings on books stems from.

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Alright kiddos, it is time for! The last chapter of the opening arcs / battle trial! Wherein we continue Katsuki's mental breakdown! <3

I’m considering doing some kind of end-of-arc(s) summary / personal thoughts thing after this as a way of sort of compiling my thoughts on the story as a whole so far, as well as just being open to answering your general ideas and open questions / suggestions about the story and characters and whatnot so far (and I guess to come?) So have at it, I want to know what you all think about these first eleven chapters as an introduction to the series / characters / plot / whatnot.

[No. 11 - Bakugou’s Starting Line]

That is… a lot less damage than I thought there was. Like, it still looks pretty bad, but not to the point of ‘it’s going to collapse if someone breathes funny’ bad like I was thinking before. The active explosion of the panels before this probably added to that impression. Also, the building is a LOT smaller than I thought it was?

And speaking of Katsuki’s mental breakdown! He’s just standing there in complete shock while Tenya is comforting a vomiting Ochako, and Izuku is passed out on the floor. Someone points out that the losing team is almost unscathed while the winners are down for the count - they lost the battle but won the war, so to speak. Tsuyu points out that it’s just training though.

(to the tune of ‘Final Countdown’) It’s a mental breakdown~ (kazoo solo)

But in full seriousness, this is the first true moment we see of his worldview being smashed open. Like, he was definitely shaken with Izuku’s actions back with the sludge villain, but Katsuki was just more quiet and sullen. Here? Here he’s just had one of the pillars he built his entire mindset around - that Izuku was weaker than him - torn down as violently as the wall he blasted open. He is not okay with this. He’s sweating, he’s shaking, he’s probably about five seconds from collapsing to his knees and screaming. 

Fortunately, he’s mostly knocked out of his own head by All Might showing up and placing a hand on his shoulder, telling him to head back so he can get graded. Katsuki doesn’t really seem to be listening as All Might goes on about how whether one wins or loses, they can come out ahead by learning from the experience - instead he’s watching as Izuku is taken away on a stretcher by two transpo-bots to the nurse’s office. 

In the monitor room, All Might announces that the VIP of the battle was Tenya, much to said boy’s surprise. Katsuki is looking pretty gloomy and stuck in his head, while Ochako is still struggling with the lingering nausea. Tsuyu asks why the VIP isn’t one of the hero team who won, and All Might asks the class if any if them can guess at his reasoning. 

Momo raises her had and says she does, and then explains that Tenya had best adapted to the scenario. Katsuki’s actions were motivated by a personal grudge, and his use of destructive attacks indoors was foolish. Izuku’s performance suffered from the same faults. And Ochako lost focus halfway through and her final attack was haphazard - if the weapon had been real, the attack would be unthinkable. Tenya, on the other hand, formed an actual counterstrategy, and thought about what the struggle would be like. His only fault was being too slow to react at the end, and the hero team only won because it was a training exercise with exploitable restraints. 

Tenya is touched. Meanwhile, the rest of the class is stunned silent, with All Might shaking because she said it better than he could. He hesitantly adds that Tenya was a bit too stiff, but otherwise she was correct. She huffs and says that they need to start at the bottom and work up - if they don’t cheer each other on, they won’t even become top heroes. Her name is also introduced here, as well as the fact that she’s the number one recommended first year.

How’s Katsuki doing?

Eh… we’ll come back to you in a bit. For now, the other battle trials! Shouto and Shouji (hero team) versus Ojiro and Hagakure (villain team), in a new location. The heroes are both quiet, while Hagakure is getting hyped up and taking off her gloves and boots to go full stealth mode. Ojiro is a bit flustered at that, thinking that it makes sense for someone invisible, but that it feels unethical.

(Which is, I’m guessing, that comment that her ‘hero costume’ is being buck naked, which honestly, I refuse to believe. If the support companies can make a costume for someone who goes impermeable (which, by its own definition, would mean light goes through as well, ergo ‘invisibility’), then she can get one as well. I think she’s just a troll who says the costume is nothing to fluster others - I mean, considering she does like hidden camera shows, and they tend to do those weird stuff to surprise or discomfort people, it would fit in line with her character.)

Anyways, when the hero team is sent in, Shouji is listening in just inside the building with several arm-ears, right before they shift into really concerning-looking mouths to relay information. Shouji tells his partner that one is on the north side of the fourth floor, while the other is on the same floor barefoot - clearly, the invisible one is trying to ambush and capture them. Shouji also gets a title card and an explanation of his quirk, Dupli-arms: he can replicate his own body parts at the tips of his tentacles!

Shouto warns Shouji to get out, since it’s about to ‘get frosty in here’. Their opponents think they’re playing a defensive game, but it means nothing to him. He then proceeds to show off just what he means by ‘frosty’.

Yeah, that’s a bit OP there. Poor Ojiro - and definitely poor Hagakure, who got frozen to the floor with bare feet. Shouto walks in and says to bring it on, but that fighting without the soles of their feet will be painful. All Might and Kirishima are shivering in the monitor room from the cold, with All Might noting that neither Shouto’s ally nor the weapon were harmed when he immobilized the enemy; Kirishima says that he’s too strong. 

Hagakure’s hurting where she’s frozen, and Ojiro is freaked out and not even trying to break out as Shouto walks past and puts his left hand of the weapon, giving his team the win. Shouto apologizes to them as the ice steams away, Ojiro shocked to see how quickly the building is warming up. As Shouto finishes melting the ice, he declares that they are in different leagues - and we get his title card!

Number two recommended first year, quirk Half-Hot, Half-Cold (which I think is supposed to have some greater pun or sound better in Japanese? [Hanrei Hannen] I suppose does roll a bit better, but hmmm…) His right side can freeze things and his left can burn. His range and limits are unknown - what a beast! 

(Katsuki, meanwhile, is biting his lip to keep himself from saying anything - likely another blow to his preconceived belief that he was the strongest right while he’s trying to come back from the last one.)

We get a brief summary of what the other teams did: Sero and Kirishima played villains and defended with Sero’s tape as traps around the room. Tsuyu went along the walls while Tokoyami had his quirk primed to attack. Jirou scouted with her quirk while Kaminari kept a charge prepped in his hand, and Mina threw a ot of acid around, a bit of which burned Aoyama’s cape. 

We transition to the end of the class, with All Might telling everyone well done, and that besides Izuku, there were no serious injuries. He complements their teamwork and says they all did splendidly, considering it was their first exercise. Someone in the class mentions that after Aizawa, a straightforward class that that was almost a letdown. All Might walks away, saying that the teachers are free to have no-nonsense classes if they like, and that he’s off to give Izuku his evaluation, letting them know to get changed out of their costumes and head back to the classroom before he runs off in a hurry. Mineta notes he seems to be in a hurry, but that he’s also so cool.

All Might glances back, seeing Katsuki in the back of the class still in a gloomy state. He thinks about how Katsuki is ‘a bundle of conceit’ and how the most inflated egos are often the most fragile. As a teacher, he needs to give the boy some counseling, but for now, he has to save on his time, due to only having enough strength to get through a single class.

Which, considering All Might’s limit before USJ is three hours, seems a bit weird, so let’s do some math.

The villain teams have five minutes to set up, and the heroes have fifteen to get to the bomb after that - twenty minutes. With five rounds, that’s an even hundred minutes for the exercises, not counting those that ended early. With all the time saved from Shouto’s instant take out and assuming average times for the others, we probably have more like eighty minutes spent on those exercises. Of course, we can then add time for getting to and from the buildings, as well as the assessments of each match and determination of the VIP. So that can probably bumped back up to 100 minutes, maybe closer to 110? Which would just fit within the bounds of a double-class period for Japanese schools (which are fifty minute classes with ten minute breaks in between). 

Japanese classes have four periods before lunch and three after. The ‘canon’ schedule has heroics lessons happen THROUGH lunch period, which makes no sense when they need that energy in order to be able to fight. I am also skeptical of fighting right after lunch, when that makes it more likely for them to throw up if they take a bad hit, ergo, the reasonable time period for these lessons is the last two periods of the day - thus giving the kids about an hour for food to digest and energy to get into their systems.

I think this is also added onto with how Izuku doesn’t freak out after this over missing a class, which makes sense if it was the last one. Plus, well, scheduling the most exhausting and injury-prone class at the end of the day means that anyone who needs to rest a while actually can without missing important things - and that the kids won’t be too tired to pay attention to whichever teachers they would otherwise have afterwards.

...right, my original point. All Might is supposed to have three hours, but gets stressed out after using just two hours here. I can get that maybe it’s three hours total, but holding it for two continuously without chances to ‘unflex’ and rest for a bit might be straining on him still? Or maybe he just spent some time that morning doing hero things and so ran out of time a bit early. 

Anyways, I think I’ll end this off here, since it’s about halfway and we did get through quite a bit. Next time, we finish off the opening arcs of the series, and then I guess I do some Q&A / personal thoughts so far / narrative analysis / whatever? I guess send in questions or thoughts or whatever you guys have, and I’ll answer them after the next post. 

[abizarreyodelingincident]

Our Nightly Confidant 3

Time for the Forgotten

He wonders. There's a question gnawing at him. Twilight knew. His wolf-boy had not wavered in the slightest when Time had suggested they could be related by blood. He'd been... serious. So serious. Scarily serious. It was a bit of a glance in his mirror shield. The reflection similar enough that it took some effort to mask it with nonchalance. Twilight hadn't been ashamed, more wistful and awed than anything after that talk with Malon.

But he had started to notice the way Twilight looked at him when no one else did.

Twilight knows. Twilight knows and he is a fine young man that Time is so, so proud of. He's not the favorite, because he can't have one. It's a different bond though (something like what he has with Warriors), and he always made sure to never let that influence his decisions on this quest.

The others don't doubt their place with the group. Not because of Time, at least. It's the least he can do for those incredible young men.

He just feels the question come and go in the dark. Twilight hadn't trained with a sword before his quest. Their technique is so similar however... He has to have been taught.

His heart hovers between settled and troubled, and it's the most innocuous thing that tips the balance.

A jab amongst others as they're cutting down wood for a fire, of all things.

Twilight, chainmail and shirt off, wipes sweat off his brows, an axe across his shoulders and a pile of neatly cut branches by his feet. “So slow,” he says, teasing his brother-in-arm a few trees over. “Didn't they run drills like those in the army?”

As always when pricked, Warriors heckles back. “Not every one of us was born in a barn, ranchhand!”

“For your information, I was found in the woods as a toddler, thank you very much,” Twilight replies, taking on an exaggerated snobbish accent. Or what he thinks passes as. It's a bit hard to tell with Twilight's countryside drawl.

The others laugh, join in the mockery, and they don't notice their leader taking a second to digest the news.

Twilight is his descendant. Twilight was adopted at too young an age to remember his birth parents. Might not even know their names.

And a wound he thought was closing suddenly bleeds inside him.

                                                   ***

It's a slow evening, almost night, and they haven't encountered a monster in days. But he's reeling, his head spinning.

His mind is filled with questions he knows are futile. Pointless bites from a cruel, unknowable future.

Which of Twilight's parents had the Hero's blood? Was it a granddaughter or grandson that perished, leaving a little boy orphaned? Had they known? Twilight mentioned having the Triforce of Courage since as long as he could remember. Had his parents learned only then of the heritage? When their son was marked by fate?

Was it a lack of knowledge that had killed Twilight's birth parents? Training?

The Goddesses truly are cruel, to confirm all his greatest fear in the same breath they gave him a glimpse of triumph. He doesn't know how to feel.

Time knows he ought to talk to someone about those things. About the choice he'd been offered. Even if it felt like breathing glass, like baring his own naked flesh to the elements. He's done it before, mostly with Malon, bless his darling wife. He's spoken the words, cried in whispers and fallen asleep on a damp pillow with the arms of his love around him.

He let his Zelda erase all the suffering Ganondorf wrought, and that very act might have condemned his own to an ignominious death. Might have cost Twilight his birthright. Worse still is the knowledge Wind offered him: the timeline hadn't vanished either. What was the point then? A childhood he couldn't recover even with a child's body? A forsaken land threatened by a mad demon?

He should speak.

He... can't.

He sits down on a rock and ignores the few curious gazes of the boys when he pulls open his inventory.  Other times, he might play with them, dance on their expectations and see their astonishment while he laughs inside.

He can't laugh right now.

His fingers close on the instrument, which sends a tingling of power through his hand. An ocarina to commune with the goddesses. He's not a pious man, never had the need, but as he raises the pipe end to his lips, it does feel like praying.

The Song of Healing.

Music to sooth pain beyond flesh and bones.

Why, then, does it only sound like screeching to his ears?

He put so many to rest in that forsaken place. Why can't he turn that power on himself? Why is he not allowed the slightest bit of-?

Something hits him in the chest. The last note of the song goes wild, off-key, and it stops the old memory playing in his head.

“Wolfie?” they call, some puzzled, a few like Wind rather ecstatic by the presence of the pup's beast form.

“... Did he just headbutt the old man?” Legend asks, smirking.

“Maybe the music hurts his ears?” Sky ponders.

Time doubts that. For one, Hylian ears wouldn't hurt enough for that kind of reaction even if he started playing as badly as he felt. No, it was the song that got Twilight into that state.

The whine Twilight makes pulls at some long dead heartstrings. Despite his size, worrying strength and undeniable intelligence, that sound alone gives Twilight the air of a kicked puppy.

The pup can't know, he tells himself. His heritage had been unknown to him until his quest, he mentioned that once. He can't know what the Song of Healing means, what playing it is supposed to do.

But the pain in Twilight's sky-blue eyes speaks otherwise.

“I suppose I ought to be more considerate of our canine friend,” Time declares, dusting off his pants. “My equipment could use a bit of maintenance.”

Busy work. The song had been a bad idea anyway.

As he stands though, he feels Wolfie's fang graze his hands and heels. Tug at his sleeves.

“Not sure he agrees with that,” Wild comments, amusement dancing in his eyes.

Wild knows what this is, and Time has the creeping idea that he's being herded like a goat.

“He'll have to get used to the idea,” he replies, more even than he feels.

The sympathetic feeling is starting to flicker at the repeated nipping. To be a hero, one needs to be stubborn. In this case, Time rather feels this is turning against him. He's rarely been the target of Twilight's protective streak. Fewer still as Wolfie. He is starting to understand that the style of comfort changed quite a bit during the transition. The inability to talk forces his protege to go physical.

And physical for a wolf...

Air is shoved out of his lungs as a massive weight crashes on his back.

“Not gonna work, pup,” Time bites out, trying and failing to keep walking as if nothing is wrong.

Wild's meals are far too rich if this is the result. A big lug of a wolf not knowing his place. He could shake him off, but now his pride is shouting for a decisive victory. He can't surrender so much authority at once. The group's survival and very continued existence depends on it!

His foot hits one of the logs they cut to sit. Of course.

Twilight chooses that moment to jump off. Of course.

Time has no time to brace himself for the puddle of mud. Of. Course.

Would the Goddesses strike him deaf so he doesn't have to hear the explosion of laughter shaking the camp!

His successor looks awfully smug, huffing and puffing on his side of the dead campfire.

Far too smug, in fact.

And, before he knows what's happening, Time finds himself chasing after that insolent youngster throughout the clearing under the thunderous laughter of seven other heroes.

Wolves are faster, but Time has far too many tricks up his sleeves to be bested. A hundred years of training might allow this brat to compete. MIGHT!

And when he collapses not too long after, it's side by side with an equally panting but not as annoyed pup.

He lets out a long sigh, his head lolling on a patch of moss, and the word is more mouthed than spoken: “Why?”

“Woof,” Twilight barks.

It's nonchalant, a little mocking and very much the non-answer Time would give in his place. He hadn't intended for his wall-building tactics to be turned against him this way. But, he supposes, a teacher can't always choose what his students will take from them.

There is, however, a clear hierarchy that needs reestablishing.

Time's grown up with eternal children. He has years of training in zero-ing of the most sensible weak spots in a body. Specifically, where one is most ticklish.

The effect is immediate, over-the-top and oh so satisfying.

Wolfie jumps five feet in the air. He tries to bolt, but in all his arrogance, hadn't realized he'd stayed too close to escape Time's grip.

(The others are watching with wide eyes as their glorious leader play-fights with their massive wolf-friend. Bets are, perhaps, being made.)

Only when the yipping sounds appropriately pitiful does Time give in and stop his ministrations. With a breathless laugh, he lets himself fall on his side, right next to his infuriating descendant. Clearly, Malon would have to be a stricter parent (Time knows he can't be one if his life depends on it) if this is the standard behavior to be expected of his lineage.

For a moment, Time lets himself lay there, on moist grass, half over, half under a wolf with behavioral problems. The thought, again, that he is promised a family line, that this irritating young man descends from him, soothes the old scars on his heart. Despite himself, his hand finds the soft fur and runs through the coat. He doesn't know the future. Few if none knows the full extent of his past. He's long learned to live in a world of strangers wearing friendly faces, of clueless happiness fueled by nightmares of events that, ultimately, never happened. He's a man of faded dreams, to be recognized only by the most precious few.

Some of the weight shifts, and Twilight's big head lies down on top of his chestplate, a soft glint in those gentle blue eyes. Time can hardly move, even if, at the moment, he finds himself comfortable enough resting with his eldest son.

… Which, now that he thinks about it, is what Twilight had been after all along.

“You damned nosy pup,” he says, smacking himself on the forehead. “It's not your job to worry. It's mine.”

The glare he receives goes straight to his soul. As if, it challenges. They really are the same on that front, aren't they? Him and his eldest?

Time can't even tell when it happened, but his chest doesn't feel tight anymore despite the added wolf head. His worries seem so much smaller when his descendant can wrestle-trick him into submission with ease. The boys would be alright.

“Thank you... ”

It's when he sits down by the campfire later that evening, glaring at a smug Twilight over his bowl of soup, that he suddenly realizes the ache has gone. That the bitterness of all his pain being forgotten just... didn't matter in front of that cheeky boy smirking at him.

Even his heart betrays him by going warm with pride. He's impressed.

It shouldn't be a surprise.

After all, his successor is descended from his Malon too. And she always knew best how to handle him.

“You're getting second watch tonight, pup.”

The grunt of annoyance is hardly repayment for a faceful of mud, but you take what revenge you can get. That's another lesson living with the kokiris taught him.

[innuendostudios]

Here’s How to Radicalize a Normie, a video essay on how the Alt-Right and their fellow travelers recruit. Clocking in at 41 minutes, 6756 words, 633 individual drawings, and 27 sources (including three full books), it is by far the longest and most heavily-researched video in The Alt-Right Playbook. I am very tired.

It took so long to put this behemoth together that my Patreon started to dip. So, maybe a little more than usual, if you want to keep seeing videos like these, please consider backing me on Patreon.

Transcript below the cut.

Say, for the sake of argument, your friend Gabe is starting to worry you.

Gabe’s always been just, you know, a regular guy. Not very political. He likes video games, sci-fi, comics, Star Wars, and anime. White guy shit. The only offbeat thing about him is you suspect there’s like a 20% chance he’s a furry. For all intents and purposes, Gabe is a normie.

But recently Gabe’s been spending a lot of time on some radically conservative forums, and listening to radically conservative podcasts, and picking some radically conservative arguments with you and your friends. You never would have expected this, not from Gabe, and, given the speed it’s happened, it’s worrying to think where it might be headed.

How have the Alt-Right gotten their hooks into your friend?

If you’ve ever known a Gabe, this video is for you. Here’s How to Radicalize a Normie.

Step 1: Identify the Audience

What you need to know before we begin is: around 2013, the Nazis went online.

Hate groups in the US, as tracked by the Southern Poverty Law Center, had been growing in number since the noughts, but, between 2012 and 2014, they dropped by almost a quarter. Patriot groups dropped by over a third. However, hate crimes stayed about the same. Radical conservatism was not shrinking, but decentralizing. Still radical, still often violent, but now full of white nationalist nomads unlikely to join a formal organization.

This didn’t make them harmless. What it did was protect their asses from the typical hate group cycle: getting the public’s attention, making allies in conservative media, swelling their numbers, and then eventually disgracing themselves with failures, infighting, and, often enough, members committing horrific acts of violence, which come with social and sometimes legal consequences for all the other members.

So the Alt-Right and their fellow travelers these days don’t so much have members. They have hashtags, followers, viewers, and subscribers. This insulates them from their own audience. If Gabe, as a member of that audience, were to go out and commit a crime on their behalf, there’d be little doubt they had a hand in radicalizing him, but it’d be very hard to claim they told him to do it. On some of these sites, where Gabe spends hours and hours of his day, he’s never created an account or left a comment; the people radicalizing him don’t even know he’s there.

This distributed nature is what makes the Alt-Right, and the movements connected to it, unique. (You may remember a notable proof-of-concept for this strategy.) Doing almost everything online has, as compared with traditional hate movements, dramatically increased their reach and inoculated them from consequence. The trade-off, as we will see, is a lack of control.

And so we come to Gabe.

Gabe exists at the intersection of the kinds of people the Alt-Right is looking for - straight white cis men who feel emasculated by modern society, primarily, though they do make exceptions - and the kinds of people who are vulnerable to recruitment. Gabe fits the first profile in that he got bullied in high school, and often feels he has to hide his nerdy side for fear of getting ridiculed. The Alt-Right also has success with men who can’t get laid or recently got divorced or feel anxious about an influx of non-white people in their community. These things can make one feel like less than the confident white man they’re “supposed” to be. And it’s the closest they will ever come to being minoritized.

Regarding the second profile, it’s important to know that Gabe is not categorically different from you or me. He’s a cishet white dude - his problems are not unique. There isn’t a ton of research into the demography of the Alt-Right, but there may be a higher-than-average chance Gabe has a history of being abused or comes from a broken home. You don’t know if it’s true of Gabe, he’s never said. But most abuse survivors don’t become Nazis. The things that make people like Gabe recruitable tend to be situational: it happens often during periods of transition, as dramatic as the death of a loved or as benign as moving to a new city. Things that make people ask big life questions. Gabe has concerns like economic precarity, not knowing his place in a changing world, stressful working conditions. In other words, Gabe is suffering under late capitalism, same as everyone, and it’s entirely plausible he could have gone down the path to becoming a Leftist.

This is not to make an “economic anxiety” argument: the animating force of the Far Right is and always has been bigotry. But the Alt-Right targets Gabe by treating his “economic anxiety” as one of many things bigotry can be sold as a solution to. It is their aim that, when dissatisfied white men go looking for answers, they find the Alt-Right before they find us.

Step Two: Establish a Community

Were Gabe pledging an old-school hate movement, there would probably be a recruiter to usher him into an existing community. But that’s the kind of formalized interaction modern extremists try to avoid. Online extremism has many points of entry, and everybody’s journey is unique, so rather than be comprehensive we will focus on what are, in my estimation, the two most common pathways: the Far Right creates a community Gabe is likely to stumble into, or infiltrates a community Gabe is already in.

The stumble-upon method has two main branches, one of which is just “Gabe ends up on a chan board,” which we’ve already done a video about. The other is kind of the polar opposite of 4chan’s cult of anonymity: Gabe ends up in the fandom of a Far Right thought leader.

These folks are charismatic media personalities (that’s charismatic according to Gabe’s tastes, not ours; I don’t understand it, either). These personalities may gain traction on any number of platforms, from podcasts to reportage to blogging, though the most effective platform for redpilling is, and yes I am biting the hand that feeds me, YouTube. They may get Gabe’s attention through fairly standard means, like talking about or even generating controversy to get themselves trending, while some of the more committed will employ dubious SEO tactics like clickbait, google bombing, and data voids (just pause for definitions, we don’t have time).

What they tend to have in common, especially the most accessible ones, is that they don’t present themselves as entry points to the radical Right. In fact, many did not set out to be Far Right thought leaders, and may not think of themselves as such (though they are often selling products, of which the Alt-Right are among their biggest purchasers, and it’s not like they’re turning the money away). How they present is the same way anyone presents who wants to be successful on social media: accessible, approachable, authentic. The face-to-face relationship a budding extremist forms with their recruiter or the leader of their hate group’s local chapter are here folded into one parasocial relationship with a complete stranger.

Why this person appeals to Gabe is they’re not selling politics as politics, but conservatism as a kind of lifestyle brand. They rely heavily on criticizing or ridiculing the Left: feminists are oversensitive, Black people unintelligent, queer folks doomed to loneliness, and trans people insane; I dunno if it’s a coincidence that these are all things Gabe thinks about himself in his low moments. By contrast, they don’t sell conservatism as having sounder policies or a more coherent moral framework, but that abandoning progressive principles and embracing conservative ones will make Gabe happier. Remember, Gabe isn’t looking for white nationalism or misogyny, what he wants is the cure to soul-sickness, and these friendly micro-celebs are here to offer a shot of life advice with politics as the chaser. It is extremely important that politics be presented as a set of affects, not a set of beliefs.

The second pathway is infiltration, which is its own beast. Media personalities sometimes become gateways to the Right almost by accident: they do something edgy, a part of their audience reacts positively, and, facing no real consequence, they do it more; this leads to further positive reinforcement from conservative fans, the rest of the audience acclimates, and the cycle repeats, the personality pushing the envelope further and further based on what flies with their increasingly conservative audience. In this way, they become a right-wing figure by both radicalizing and being radicalized by their audience.

Infiltration is deliberate.

The Far Right will reliably target any community that has 1) a large, white, male population, 2) whose niche interests allow them to feel vaguely marginalized, and 3) who are not used to progressive critique of said interests. This isn’t to say progressive critique doesn’t exist, or hasn’t been baked into the property from the beginning, but that it has been, so far, easy for white guys to ignore. As such, progressives within that community probably don’t talk politics much, and women and minorities are perfectly welcome to post, same as anyone, but just, you know, don’t, don’t make identity politics, you know, like, a thing.

Given Gabe’s proclivities, he’s probably already in a number of fan communities where he can geek out and not get teased. And this is where the Far Right will go looking for him

Communities are at their most vulnerable to infiltration at times of political discord. This can happen naturally - say, a new property in the fandom has a Black protagonist - or it can be provoked - say, a bunch of channers join the forum and say provocative things about race to get people arguing - or both. Left to its own devices, the community might sort out its differences and maybe even come out more progressive than they started. But, with the right pressure applied in the right moment, these communities can devolve into arguments about the need to remove a nebulously-defined “politics” from the conversation.

The adage about bros on the internet is “‘political’ means anything I disagree with,” but it’d be more accurate to say, here, “‘political’ means anything on which the community disagrees.” For instance, “Nazis are bad” is an apolitical statement because everyone in the community agrees. It’s common sense, and therefore neutral. But, paradoxically, “Nazis are good” is also apolitical; because “Nazis are bad” is the consensus, “Nazis are good” must be just an edgy joke, and, even if not, the community already believes the opposite, so the statement is harmless. Tolerable. However, “feminism is good” is a political statement, because the community hasn’t reached consensus. It is debatable, and therefore political, and you should stop talking about it. And making political arguments, no matter how rational, is having an agenda, and having an agenda is ruining the community.

(Now, it is curious how the things that provoke the most disagreement tend to be whichever ones make white dudes uncomfortable. One of life’s great, unanswerable mysteries.)

You can gather where this is going: a community that doesn’t tolerate progressivism but does tolerate Nazism is going to start collecting Nazis, Nazis whose goal is to drive a wedge between the community and the Left. Once the Left acknowledges, “Hey, your community’s developing a Nazi problem,” the Nazis - who are, remember, trusted, apolitical members of the community who might just be kidding about all the Nazi shit - say, “Did you hear that, guys?! Those cultural Marxists just called all of us Nazis!” Wedge. Similarly, any community members who say, “but Nazis though” are framed as infiltrators pushing an agenda, even if they’ve been there longer than the Nazis have. They get the wedge, too.

This is how fandoms radicalize. They are built as - yeah, I’ll say it - safe spaces for nerds, weebs, and furries, and are told that the Left is a threat to their safety. Given a choice between leaving a community that has mattered to him for years and simply adjusting to the community’s shifting politics, the assumption is that Gabe will stay. This assumption is right often enough that a lot of fandoms have been colonized.

What is true of both of these methods - Gabe finding the Right or the Right finding him - is that Gabe does not come nor stay for the ideology. He’s here for the community, the sense of belonging, of being with his people, of having his fears validated and his enjoyment shared. The ideology is simply the price of admission.

Step Three: Isolate

There is a vast, interconnected network of Far Right communities out there, and Gabe is, at this point, only on the periphery. In order to keep him in, they need to disrupt his relationships to other communities, and become, more and more, his primary online social space. Having made this space hostile to the Left, they now seek to break his connections to progressives elsewhere in his life.

This is hard to do online. The whole appeal of moving radicalism to the internet is that your away-from-keyboard life doesn’t have to change. You are crypto the moment you log off. Some thought leaders will encourage their audience to cut ties with Family of Origin, or “deFOO,” but, even then, they can’t monitor whether the audience has actually done it the way an in-person movement could. And so alienating Gabe from the Left is less controlled, and, consequently, may be less total. How much Gabe isolates is up to him.

But the vast majority of Far Right media presumes an alienation from the Left. Part of conservative bloggers and YouTubers making the Left look pathetic is doing a lot take-downs and responses. This is a constant repetition of the Left’s arguments for the purpose of mockery, and, for Gabe, it starts to replace any engagement with progressive media directly. He soon knows the Left only through caricature. It also trains him, if he does directly engage, to approach the Left with the same combative stance as his role models. (For reference, see my comment section.) And this is only if he doesn’t partake in one of the many active boycotts of “SJW media.”

In addition to mocking the Left’s arguments, they also, curiously, appropriate them. This is one part sanitization: liberal centrism is more socially acceptable; indeed, many figures on the outer layers think of themselves as moderates, even as they serve as gateways to radicalism. But, also, many of Gabe’s problems could be addressed by progressive leftism, so they sell him racist, sexist versions of it. Yes, there is a problem with workers being underpaid and overextended, but the solution isn’t unions, it’s deporting immigrants; yes, there is a chronic loneliness and anger to being a man in the modern age, but it’s not because of the toxic masculine expectations placed on you by the patriarchy, it’s women being slutty; yes, wealth disparity does mean a tiny percentage of elites have more influence over culture and politics than the rest of us combined, but the problem isn’t capitalism, it’s the Jews. And it’s hard for Gabe to reject these ideas without, in the process, rejecting the progressive ideas they’re copied from; the Right’s “take the red pill” is, to the untrained eye, similar to the Left’s “get woke.” (Or, at least, the bowdlerized version of “get woke” that is no longer specifically about race which came to fashion when white people started saying it, grumble grumble.)

Take the red pill or reject them both; either is a step to the right.

As this rhetoric slips into his day-to-day conversation, even as seemingly harmless “irreverence,” it may strain relationships with people who are not entertained by this shit. Off-color comments about race and gender can certainly be wearying for female and non-white friends, which can lead to a passive distance or an eventual confrontation [“why is everyone but me so sensitive?!”], which only seem to confirm what his reactionary community says about liberal snowflakes. If he says these things on social media, he may get his account suspended, and, if he comes back under an alt, you can bet his new reactionary friends will be the first to reconnect, applaud the behavior that got him banned, and repeat should he get banned again. A few cycles of this and he’s lost touch with everyone else.

Also, his adoption of the insular, meme-laden terminology of this community makes him less and less comprehensible to outsiders.

Over time, sources of information get replaced with community-approved ones: conservative news, conservative YouTube, conservative Wikipedia if he’s really committed. The Algorithm soon takes note and stops recommending media from the Left. He stops watching shows with a “liberal agenda,” which usually means shows starring women and people of color. Now, there is evidence that the human mind responds to fictional characters similarly to real people, and that consuming diverse media can decrease bigotry in ways roughly analogous to having a diverse group of friends, which is one of many reasons we say representation matters. By consuming a homogenous media diet, Gabe stymies his ability to have even parasocial relationships with anyone who isn’t a cishet conservative white dude or one of their approved exceptions.

To the extent that any of this happens, it happens at Gabe’s discretion and at his own chosen pace. It has not been forced on him, only encouraged and rewarded. But the fact that it hasn’t been forced can make him all the more willing to accept it, because it seems safe to consider; even though his life and social circle are changing to accommodate, he does not feel committed. But many Gabes have walked these halls, and, if they close the door behind them, there’s nowhere left to go but down.

Step Four: Raise their Power Level

(...and they say we ruined anime.)

Consider the ecosystem of the Alt-Right as layers of an onion, with Gabe sitting at the edge and ready to traverse towards the center. (No, I’m not just going to reiterate the PewDiePipeline, though, if you haven’t seen it, go do that.)

The outer layer of the onion is extremism at its most plausibly deniable. Without careful scrutiny, the public-facing figureheads could pass as dispassionate, and the websites as merely problematic rather than softly fascist. It is valuable if Gabe believes this as well; that, at this stage, he believe the bigotry is simply trolling, the extremists an insignificant minority, and any report of harassment faked. That he believe where he is is as deep as the rabbit hole goes. And that he continue to believe this at each successive layer.

People in the deepest crevices of the Alt-Right self-report getting redpilled on multiple issues at different times in their journey to the center of the onion. If Gabe’s first red pill is about the SJWs coming for his free speech, he’ll think that’s all anyone in his community believes; there’s no racism here, people are just making a point about their right to use slurs. Then, when he gets redpilled on the white genocide, he’ll laugh at those Alt-Lite cucks who tried to sweep the race realists under the rug, and at himself for having once been one, but acknowledge that those channels and websites are still useful for onboarding people, so he won’t denounce them. At the same time, nobody takes those manosphere betas seriously.

And this process is reiterated with every pill swallowed: gender essentialism, autogynephilia, birtherism, Sandy Hook truth, pizzagate, QAnon if he’s really out there. The heart of the onion is typically the Jewish Question, but these can happen in any order, and in any number. But each layer sells itself as being, finally, the ultimate truth. Each denies the validity of the others; the layers ahead don’t exist, they’re made up my liberals, while the people behind are asleep where you are now awake. That’s why they chose “the red pill” as their metaphor: take it, and everything will be revealed. That’s why it cozies up with conspiracism. But what’s supposed to follow is that this knowledge help Gabe in some way, and it doesn’t. Blaming immigrants doesn’t actually fix the economy, and hating women doesn’t make men less lonely. But, having been alienated from everything outside the onion, once that sinks in, the only recourse on offer is to seek out the next pill.

And pills are easy to find. Those within the network have laissez-faire relationships, even as they, on paper, disavow one another. When they need a source or a guest host, they aren’t going to go to the Left; they’re going to feature each other. The Left is the enemy; their ideas are beneath consideration, and the only reason to engage them is for public humiliation. [Shapiro’s book.] But you can interview “western chauvinists” and that doesn’t mean you’re endorsing them, just, you know, it’s fine to hear ‘em out, nothing should be off-limits in the marketplace of ideas. Besides, Nazis are apolitical.

And because these folks keep showing up in each others’ metadata, regardless of what they say, Google thinks there is definitely a relationship between the guy “just asking questions” and the guy denying the Holocaust. Gabe is softly exposed to many flavors of conservatism just slightly more radical than he is now, and is expected, at the very least, to not question their presence. This is an environment where deradicalizing - listening to the Left - would be sleeping with the enemy, but radicalizing further? You do you, buddy.

Gabe’s emotional journey, however, is somewhat more complex. If you’ve spent any time reading or watching reactionary media you’ve probably noticed it’s really. fucking. repetitive. It’s a few thousand phrasings of the same handful of arguments. Like, there’s only so many jokes about attack helicopters! But these people just crank out content, and most of it’s derivative; the reason to pick one personality over another isn’t because they say something different, but because they say it differently. Gabe just picks the affect it’s delivered in.

Repetition dulls the shock of the most egregious statements, making them appear normal and prepping him for more extreme ideas. Meanwhile, the arguments themselves? They’re not good. (BreadTube will never run out of shit to debunk.) They are repetitive because they’re not good. They’re mantric. A good argument you only need to hear one time; if you can follow it, internalize it, and explain it to someone else, you know you’ve understood it. But a bad argument can’t convince you on its own merits, so it will often rely on affect. This can be the snappy, thought-terminating cliche, or the long, winding diatribe that sounds really sensible while you’re hearing it but when someone asks you for the gist you can only say “go watch these 17 videos and it’ll all make sense.” Both these approaches are largely devoid of content, but, gosh, if they don’t sound sure of themselves.

And that mode can be very persuasive, but it doesn’t stick the way a coherent argument does. It needs to be repeated, the affect replenished, because the words matter less than the delivery. There needs to be a steady stream of confident voices saying “we’ve got this figured out and everyone else is stupid” or Gabe’s gonna notice the flaws. They are not well-hidden.

And the catch-22 of returning to that stream over and over is that these communities are stressful even as they are calming. People afraid they will die virgins go to forums with people who share and validate that fear, and also say, “Yes, you will die a virgin.” People afraid Syrians are coming to kill us all watch videos by people who share and validate that fear, and also say, “Yes, Syrians are coming to kill us all.” Others have already pointed out that rubbing your face in your worst anxieties is a form of digital self-harm, but I need to you understand the toxic recursion of it: Gabe is going to these communities to get upset. Every emotion is converted into anger, because sadness, fear, and despair are paralyzing but anger is motivating; Gabe feels less helpless when he’s pissed off. And so, while he’s topping up on reassuring nonsense, he’s also topping up on stress. And, being cut off from everything outside the network, the only place he knows to go to release that stress is back to the place that gives it to him. It’s a feedback loop, pulling him deeper and deeper on the promise that, at some point, relief will come.

It is a similar dynamic that keeps people in abusive relationships.

When someone in Gabe’s community makes a racist joke, they are presenting Gabe with a choice between the human interaction of laughing with his friends and his societal responsibility not to be a fuckin’ racist. And not laughing seems ridiculous; everybody’s friends here; no one’s getting hurt; this is harmless. And so the irreverent race joke draws a line between the personal and the political, and suggests that one can be safely prioritized over the other. One way to look at radicalization is being asked to stick with that seemingly innocuous decision as the stakes are raised incrementally: first with edgier humor, and then comments that are funny because they’re shocking but you couldn’t really call them jokes, and then “funny” comments that are also sincerely angry, but, in each instance, since he laughed with his bros last time, it stands to reason he should keep favoring the personal over some abstracted notion of “politics.”

This is why the progressive adage “the personal is political” is among the most threatening things you can say in these spaces.

I’m not trying to make a slippery slope argument. Most of us who laughed at edgy jokes when we were teenagers didn’t grow up to be Nazis. It is a slippery slope in the specific context of being in community with people trying to radicalize you. Gabe is a lonely white boy in need of friends, and laughing at a racist joke is personal, while not laughing is political. Staying in a community that has Nazis in it is personal, and leaving is political. The personal is what brings people together and the political drives them apart. (The “only if some of them are bigots” part of that sentence is usually lopped off). There’s this joke on the internet that nerds perceive only two races: white and political. Following that logic, what could be more apolitical than an ethnostate?

They are banking on his willingness to adapt his beliefs to suit an environment that meets a need. That same need can be satisfied by white nationalism. There are few things more seductive to people who doubt their own worth than being told you are valuable simply for being white. And you can sub in male, cis, straight, allosexual, or able-bodied. It just takes priming: by the time Gabe officially embraces bigotry, he’s already been acting like a bigot for months. The red pill is simply the moment he says it out loud.

Change Gabe’s surroundings, and you change Gabe.

Step Five: ???

The final step in a traditional extremist group would be getting a mission. But that is one thing the Alt-Right can’t do. Once you start giving clear directives, you can’t play yourselves off as a bunch of unaffiliated hashtags and think tanks; you are now a formalized movement accountable to its followers, and can be judged and policed as such.

To my mind, Charlottesville was an attempt to become such a movement, taking things offline and getting all the different groups working collectively. And, as so often happens when these people get in the same space - especially with no official leaders or means of control over their members - it backfired. Their true colors came out before they were ready and a counter-protester lost her life.

This would be the point where, historically, an extremist group starts to disintegrate. Their veneer of respectability gone, they’re now hated by the public, the media wants nothing more to do with them, and everyone not in jail turns on each other or goes underground. This is also the point where the liberal establishment says, “My job here is done,” and utterly fails to retake control of the narrative, allowing the next batch of radicals to pick up more or less where the last one left off.

But to an already-decentralized group like the Alt-Right, Charlottesville was bad but eminently survivable. People retreated back to the internet, with its code words and anonymous forums, but that’s where much of the work was already done anyway. The platforms where they organized kept tolerating them, the authorities still didn’t classify them as terrorists, and any disgraced figureheads were replaced with up-and-comers.

The major change in strategy is that it doesn’t seem anyone has tried to formalize the Alt-Right since.

So where does that leave Gabe? He’s gone through this whole process of largely hands-off indoctrination - and I should stress his journey may look like what we’ve outlined or it may look different in places, this video is not comprehensive - but now he’s swallowed every pill he cares to, he blames half a dozen minorities for everything he sees as wrong with the world, and no one will give him anything to do. You’ve got this ad hoc movement frothing young men into a militant fervor and then just leaving them to stew in their own hate. Should we really be surprised at how many commit mass shootings?

This is a machine for producing lone wolves.

Leaving men to take up arms of their own volition is a way of enacting terror while being just outside the popular conception of a terror cell. There are also, of course, more classic militias that will offer Gabe clear directives - they’re recruiting from the same pool. And Gabe may stop short of this step, settling in a middle layer that suits him or finding the inner layers too extreme. But violence is the logical conclusion of an ideology of hate, and, should Gabe take this step, he can approach violence in the same incremental fashion he approached conservatism.

He can start with yelling at people on Twitter, and then maybe collective brigading, DDoS attacks, sharing dox, leaking nudes, calling their phone numbers, texting them pictures of their houses from the sidewalk. These acts of cruelty become games of oneupmanship within his community. All this can start as far back as Step 2, and get more intense the deeper he goes. Some people join explicitly partake in harassment and violence the way Gabe joined to talk about anime.

But this behavior can serve as a kind of buy-in. The Left and the feminists and the LGBTQs and the Muslims and the immigrants are all, within his community, subhuman. You’ve maybe heard the conservative catchphrase “feminism is cancer”; well don’t treat cancer by having a respectful exchange of ideas with it, but by eradicating it down to the last cell. Cruelty against the Left is framed as righteous.

From any other perspective, posting someone’s bank information is something you might feel ashamed of. Which creates a psychological imperative not to consider other perspectives. A thing that keeps people in is staving off the guilt they will reckon with the moment they step out. Gabe is also aware that anything he’s done to the Left could be done to him if he leaves; some communities even keep dox on their members as insurance. And the things he’s been encouraged to do to the Left will likely make him feel that the Left would never take him now; the radical Right is the only home he’s got. Harassment becomes another tool of isolation.

Steadily, options for Gabe are whittled down to being a vigilante or a nihilist. There are periods of elation: moments the Alt-Right feels it’s winning - or, more accurately, the people they hate are losing - are like cocaine. They are authoritarians, after all. But the times in between are mean and angry. They are antisocial, starved of emotional connection, consuming incompatible conspiracies that may at any point run them afoul of one another, devoted to figureheads who cater to but cannot risk leading them, and living under constant threat of being outed to the Left or turned on by the Right for stepping out of line. Gabe took this journey for the sense of community and purpose, and, but for the rare moments everything goes their way, the Alt-Right can’t maintain either. They can only keep promising his day will come, a story he could get from a $5 palm reading.

The feeling there’s nothing left but to kill yourself or someone else is so common it’s a meme.

But there is always a third option: Gabe can leave.

Pre-Conclusion: For Fuck’s Sake Do Not Make Gabe Your Whole-Ass Praxis

Before we continue, I want to state plainly that Gabe went off the deep end because he found a community willing to tell him that, because he is a cishet white man, the world revolves around him. Do not treat him like this is true.

If a fraction of the energy spent having debates with America’s Gabes were spent instead on voter re-enfranchisement, prisoner’s rights, protections for immigrants, statehood for DC and Puerto Rico, and redistricting, Gabe’s opinions, in the societal sense, wouldn’t matter. Reactionary conservatism is a small and largely unpopular ideology that is only so represented in our culture and politics because they’ve learned how to game the system.

And I get it. Those are huge problems that are going to take years to address, where, if you know a Gabe, that’s a conversation you could have today. And, if you think you can get through to him, it is worthwhile to try. This is a fight on many fronts and deradicalization is one of them. But it is only one, so please keep it in perspective. It sends an awful message when we spend more time trying to get bigots back on our side than we do the people they are bigoted against.

Your value as a lefty does not hinge on whether you can change Gabe’s mind.

Conclusion: How Gabe Gets Out

He may just grow out of it. These communities skew young, and some folks hit a point where hanging with edgy teens doesn’t feel cool anymore.

He may become disillusioned after the movement fails to deliver on its promises.

He may become disillusioned if something goes wrong in his life and his community isn’t there for him, if he feels they like his race and his gender but don’t actually care about him.

He may be shocked if he sees the Alt-Right at its worst before being appropriately conditioned. Charlottesville was a step too far for a lot of people.

His community may turn on him for any perceived unorthodoxy, and he may leave out of necessity.

He may be separated by circumstance from the community - a trip with no internet, hospitalization, arrest - and not be able to top up on the rhetoric. This may lead him to question his beliefs.

His community may disappear, either tearing itself apart or getting shut down by authorities.

He may have incidental contact with populations he’s supposed to hate, and have trouble reconciling who they are in person with what he’s been told about them. In his community, people bond over shared intolerance, but, suddenly, being tolerant helps him make friends. (This is one reason the Alt-Right has made a battleground of the college campus.)

He may form or revisit relationships outside the network, people who can offer him the connection he’s been looking for. This may reintroduce outside perspectives. More importantly, it rekindles his ability to have healthy relationships at all, something the Alt-Right has estranged him from.

As with recruiters, it seems these “escape hatch” relationships can sometimes be parasocial; coming to respect a public figure who is on the Left, or is critical of the Alt-Right.

Someone he is close to may compel him to choose, “me or the movement.” A lot of young men leave to save a romantic relationship.

Hearing stories from people who’ve already jumped may help; there aren’t a lot of public formers, and some raise suspicions as to their sincerity, but it is getting more common, and may be the closest we get to exit counseling for the Alt-Right.

He may become aware of the ways he’s being manipulated, or have them revealed to him, maybe because he stumbled into BreadTube, I dunno. Knowledge that you are being indoctrinated is no guarantee it won’t work - you are not immune to propaganda - but it can help one resist.

And he may revisit a core belief system that used to guide him, be it religion or social justice or a really wholesome fandom, and be reminded of the identity he used to have.

Moments like these, in isolation or in aggregate, can inspire Gabe to jump. They are also good times for friends to intervene. The reach and the impunity that comes with the internet means it has never been easier to fall into reactionary extremism. It has also never been easier to get out. People who exit skinhead gangs often fear for their lives; for Gabe, there’s a chance getting out is as simple as going to a different website. Much of his community does not know his name or his face and he may not important enough to dox.

What doesn’t get Gabe out - not reliably, not that I have seen - is an argument with a stranger who proves all his facts wrong and his ideology bunk. Facts don’t always work because facts don’t care about his feelings. This was about staying in a community, and holding onto an identity, that mattered to him. It was about belonging, and that is something a rando from the other side of the culture war can’t give him and probably shouldn’t be responsible for.

The theme here is human connection. Before he can do the work of disentangling himself, and facing the guilt of what he’s believed and maybe done, he has to know there’s somewhere for him on the other end of it. That the Right hasn’t ruined him. They’ve told him all of history is groups fighting each other over status, and, without his clan, he’ll be an exile. He needs a better story.

I don’t know that lefty spaces are ideal for this, in no small part because bringing someone who’s a bit of a Nazi but working on it into diverse communities is… questionable. And it probably wouldn’t be good for him, either; having just gotten out of a toxic belief system, he’s going to be deeply skeptical of all ideologies. In a perfect world, people who care about Gabe could build for him - to use a therapy term - a holding space. Someplace private - physical or digital - where Gabe can work out his feelings, where he is both encouraged and expected to be better but is not, in the moment, judged. That comes later. It is delicate and time-consuming work that should not be done in public, but we find these beliefs, built up over the course of months or years, tend to fall away very quickly with a shift of environment. Change Gabe’s surroundings and you change Gabe.

But, instead, a lot of people who jump are functionally deprogramming themselves, which is working for a lot of them, but it’s haphazard, and there are recidivists.

If you don’t personally know a Gabe, or have training as a counselor, you may not be in a position to help him. Possibly there are things you can do to disrupt the recruitment process or prevent infiltration of spaces you’re in - I’m looking into it, but talk to your mods - but, elephant in the room: meaningful change will require reform on the part of platform holders. Tools to disrupt this process already exist and are being used on groups like ISIS, but they’re not being used on the Alt-Right because they try oh so very hard not to get classified as terrorists (and also any functioning anti-radicalization policy would require banning a lot of conservative politicians, so there’s that...).

But what makes our story better than theirs is that the fight for social and economic justice, though it is long, and difficult, and frustrating, when it works, it fulfills the promise the Right can’t keep: it materially make people’s lives better. I am not prone to sentimentality, or to giving these videos happy endings. But one thing we have that the Alt-Right doesn’t is hope.