#funny rant

[bendyartistic]

Shoutout to ppl who can draw on their phones, I tried doing it after like.. forever, and I got really frustrated. The screens are too small, I'm so used to my massive tablet where I can see everything. Plus I hate the pressure sensitivity for using fingers. It's the equivalent to drawing with a mouse, but at least using a mouse is fun.

It might be because I'm one of those autistic people who hates the way certain things feel texture wise.. I never enjoyed dragging my fingers across phone screens to begin with. So to do it purposely and for longer just to get iffy results doesn't feel rewarding to me. My tablet's screen texture is like touching paper, I love it. It's not even a touch screen type but it's still pleasant 🖤

(This is what I managed to draw on my phone before giving up.)

A testament to how much a single thought can turn into a somewhat bigger rant, but it's funny so I'll keep it.

[calamaroo]

You know what never ceases to amaze me about Octonauts? It's that Captain Barnacles, a polar bear, is my all time favorite character.

Hi, my name is calamaroo, and I am DEATHLY AFRAID OF BEARS, to the point I'd personally consider it nearly a phobia (teddy bears/stuffed animals are fine, but just the sound or pictures of a bear of any kind gives me chills)

Lemme trauma dump for a second:

I have had two traumatic experiences with bears.

1. When I was little, I watched a Little Einsteins movie/special where the main antagonist was a polar bear. IT. WAS. AWFUL. The music that accompanied that bear has SCARRED ME SO BAD, I STILL REFUSE TO WATCH IT TO THIS DAY.

2. The bear monster from the movie Annihilation WAS THE WORST THING IVE EVER SEEN. WTF WAS THAT???? WHO'S TWISTED MIND THOUGHT OF THAT AWFUL CREATION???? BEARS ARE ALREADY TERRIFYING, BUT THEY ARE DEFINITELY NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE NO FACE AND MIMIC THE LAST WORDS OF THEIR VICTIMS!!!!! I will never watch that movie again (the whole movie was an existential and eerie mess, but that was the worst part personally)

IVE NEVER MET A BEAR IRL. THE NEAREST BEAR IS AT THE ZOO 5 HOURS AWAY. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT LITERALLY KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT?? THE DEBILITATING FEAR THAT A HORRIBLE, TEN FOOT TALL, 800 POUND MONSTER WILL MATERIALIZE IN MY LIVING ROOM AND MURDER ME.

FREAKING POLAR BEARS TOO??? WHO SAID THEY SHOULD BE 12 FEET TALL??? AND ACTIVELY HUNT HUMANS IN THE WILD??? They are massive, horrible, yet amazing monsters built to withstand one of the harshest climates to exist, and they are so morbidly fascination

AND, bears are so deceptive!! Why be so friend shaped and look so lovable and be so fluffy and have cute ears when can eat me?? CAN RIP ME TO SHREDS??

Anyway. Barnacles is my pookie and I wanna give him kisses

Thank you for coming to ted talk

[theskeleman]

Physics are just the rules that make this universe extremely boring. You could shoot lightning from your fingers but then Dirk Dinglus, P.h.D comes in and goes “well that’s not PHYSICALLY possible” well you know what screw you this is why we can’t have nice things and god is mad at us

[isuckatgaymes]

ok random question but why tf in his phone fling is seth like "hehehe answer my riddles three and you may get a photo of me sitting in a chair" but in the game he's like "IM THE FUCKING DEVIL FROM THE FUCKING BIBLE AND IM GONNA KILL YOU also im gonna do a little bit of rhyming"

he's still one of my favs but like what's that about

[keeper-of-magic]

hey we all know how good revenge narratives are, right?

and how unsatisfactory most anti-revenge narratives are, right?

well, turns out there is a REALLY good anti-revenge narrative, and that's "my desire for revenge is going to either make me go insane or get me killed. i have more important things to do than revenge, so i won't. i have every right to! i REALLY REALLY REALLY want to as well! but i won't. because it's tearing me apart."

even better if the person who your trying to get revenge against also has such a grudge, and in your distancing, you defeat them not in hard, grueling battle of "who's desire for success, who's absolute obsession is stronger?" but instead... just letting them tear themselves to pieces, as you leave them behind.

@angelofchaos001 @doodlebug091 @transgenderprototype

thank you Ishmael limbus company and Jason "he who fights with monsters" Asano, for bringing these absolutly hard to write but gold if they work naratives about how self destructive a desire for revenge is.

[urmultideadfandomperson]

Bro is my username srsly that long??? 😭

[iveeaten3humanorganz]

I keep drinking soy sauce. LIKE IM STRAIGHT TAKING SHOTS HELLO?? WHAT AM I DOING.

[phatdonutbear]

Rant Against the Sonic Fanbase, but it's [[1997]]

[[Okie dokie!]] THAT IS IT! THIS IS THE FINAL [[Flav-R-Straw]]! I’VE HAD IT WITH ALL YOU FRICKIN’ [[Trolls]] AND ALL YOU FRICKIN’ HATERS AND ALL YOU FRICKIN [[Moss eater]] FAN FRICKS. YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES THAT [[Spoiled]] [[Deltarune]] FOR EVERYONE! CANT YOU SEE THAT? WHAT THE [[Fifty percent off]]! ARE YOU GUYS DOING! ASKING FOR ALL THIS FRICKING GARBAGE- WHY DO WE NEED [[Dragon Blazers]]? WHY DO WE NEED [[Deltarune]] 3? WHY DO WE NEED ANOTHER [[Pay]] TO WIN TITLE? WHY DO WE NEED A [[Deltarune]] 2006 SEQUEL? WHY DO WE NEED ALL THAT? CANT WE HAVE A [[3D ENVIRONMENT CLASSIC]] GAME FOR CRYING OUT FRICKIN LOUD! YOU GUYS KILLED THE [[Deltarune]] SERIES ALL YOU FRICKIN FAN FRICKS AND YOUR FRICKIN [[Deep. Dark. Fantasies.]] SPEWED OUT AT YOU BY FRICKIN POO [[Merchandise]] !!! I’M TIRED OF ALL YOU FRICKS! I’M SO FRICKIN MAD! I’M SO FRICKIN MAD- I MEAN, YOU GUYS- YOU GUYS HAVE OFFICIALLY MADE ME LOSE MY [[Pipis]]! WHY CANT YOU GUYS JUST ASK FOR A [[3D ENVIRONMENT CLASSIC]] GAME! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE! (Punches trash can) I’M SURE NO [[FAN]] PREDICT- WOULD PREDICT-

WOULD PREDICT-

WOULD PREDICT-

WOULD PREDICT-

WOULD PREDICT-

[[Hyperlink blocked]]

THAT THE ADVENTURE- THE ADVENTURE FANTASIZES WOULD RUIN EVERYTHING! [BREATHING HEAVILY] AND NOW- AND NOW I BET BY NOW THAT [[Tony]] [[Box]] HAS GOT A FREAKIN [[Deltarune]] 3 IN DEVELOPMENT WITH [[Goldie Locks]] TEAM BECAUSE YOU FRICKIN FRICKS CAN’T EVER, BE [[Quenched with a fresh drink!]]. YOUR FANTASIES CAN’T EVER BE QUENCHED- CAN THEY? YOU FRICKIN FRICKS. WHEN WILL YOU [[LEARN..]] WHEN WILL YOU LEARN...

THAT YOUR [[ACTIONS]] HAVE [[CONSEQUENCES]]!? YOU GUYS KEEP ON ASKING FOR [[Deltarune]] 3! YOU’RE RUINING THE [[Moss eating]] SERIES- HASN’T IT ALREADY SUFFERED ENOUGH!?

[mousyjay]

This post is a cry for help. I think im addicted to Otome games, but more specifically im addicted to Voltage’s mobile otome games. This can be the only explanation. Tell me why I will confidently overpay for stories that are not worth the $20 I’m putting into them, sinking money I don’t have, when I have a backlog of console otome games that are longer and don’t cost any additional money to play. Why am I doing this??? I think I must be addicted. Why does Voltage have me in an absolute chokehold???

Anyways just played Masquerade Kiss Yuzuru’s route on Love365 and I’m absolutely obsessed. Currently trying to justify spending even more money on it so I can read all of Season 1 tomorrow , because “I’ll be good and won’t buy any Season 2 till next month” 💀

Seriously send help oml. I guess it’s true you can’t escape your roots 😅

[increasinglyverbose]

WHAT IS REAL LIFE

Have you ever been so high you lost your grip on reality?

https://youtu.be/9S_L9TnaikY

[zeezeepearl]

ok im going to #seriouspost for a second here. I don't think Harry Potter is a manifesto. I think it was a flawed passion project that millennials latched onto because of the fantasy of sticking it to their mean teachers and arbitrarily categorizing themselves (hogwarts houses; it's the thinking millennial's astrology). I think the fact that the series got popular when and how it did was very much a product of its time.

I don't think Harry Potter is the biggest symbol of JKR's bigotry. I think the most flagrant sign of that was how she responded to critics. I watched her become radicalized in real time. I watched how she doubled down on her racism when she was called out for the ways she promoted her tragically mid fantastic beasts movies. I watched her chase marginalized teenagers with a double digit follower count off of twitter for daring to criticize her thought process, and no one with any kind of power standing against her because she was the one who was paying them. This isn't to say Harry Potter is without flaws. This is to say she really didn't give a shit about that. Getting rich and powerful is a hell of a drug, and she had enough sycophants that she had no reason to care about what her critics were saying.

She was convinced that she was a martyr; a voice for the unheard; a leader for the ages, so of course her detractors were the bad guys. And I think we should take this to heart. We should see this as an example of how easy it is to get radicalized; if you think of yourself as a paragon of virtue, you are going to think that whatever you see as good and right is an objective fact. Most people don't know this, but the majority of terfs start out as trans allies. You are not immune to propaganda! You are not immune to falling into dangerous ideologies!!!

This is why the most important thing you can do as an activist is to listen. Do NOT think you're above being wrong; do NOT develop a god complex; do NOT form an identity out of being right all the time. Involve yourselves in the groups you claim to speak for. Listen to trans women; share resources that help trans women; familiarize yourself with the diversity of experiences that trans people have and the struggles they face.

No, none of you are as bad as JKR because you don't have her money or her power. You will likely never have the capacity for harm she does. But check yourselves. Do not affirm yourselves into thinking you always have the moral high ground. Watch yourselves; humble yourselves; check yourselves for signs of cult behavior and internalized prejudice. You are always learning. You will always be learning. Do not allow yourselves to get a power trip from brushing off marginalized voices.

[isuckatgaymes]

do you ever just scroll through the wiki of a dating game and read all the dialogue from one character that you keep getting advertised to but you refuse to give in and download the app?

me too PLEASE HELP I CANT KEEP DOING THIS

[theydontknowme12]

Okay y'all listen so I was just thinking right and some things that I've did in the past that were embarrassing or that i regret keep coming in to my mind and OMG it's horrible like leave me alone you stupid thoughts so yk what I had to resort to? I had to resort to telling myself that wtv happened in the past is the past like bitch I'm living in the PRESENT NOW BAAABY!!

Did it work? Yes. Did it also still come back after a while also yes. BUT that's okay bc um I SAID SO ANYWAYSSSS

[iveeaten3humanorganz]

One thing that’ll forever piss me off is when people tell me to stop using / doing something and they provide me WITH NO OTHER ALTERNATIVES TO THE THING I WAS DOING / USING, ESPECIALLY WHEN I ASK.

[fruitfulchaos]

I've never had to deal with copycats but now, the anger I feel when someone I know copies my joke (in whatever form) and they get laughs for it... BITCH!!! If you think I'm funny, just tell me or get your own trauma to become funny!!

Next time I hear or read my words somewhere and there isn't APA-7th-edition-citation credit to me after it, I'm unstitching all your clothes!! May the truth bare its nakedness on its own, ye jest-thieving skin walker of a wench!!

[critical-skeptic]

Am I Old Yet?

At what precise point in this inexorable march toward the proverbial hilltop—nay, over it—should I commence my descent into the quagmire of sanctimonious moral posturing, sycophantic obeisance to unbridled capitalist avarice, and enthusiastic endorsement of reactionary xenophobic demagogues? Is there a designated age at which one must willfully abandon reason and embrace the comforting embrace of supernatural absurdities, reject the rigor of the scientific method, and conveniently erase from memory the inconvenient truths of causality, germ theory, and, indeed, the entire sordid chronicle of human history? Or is this transformation into a caricature of cognitive dissonance something that arrives unbidden, like a creeping malaise, suffused with the rank odor of intellectual decay?

Exhaustion scarcely begins to describe my growing disdain for the perpetually senile and inexcusably obtuse Homo alopecius stultus—and by that, I mean humans, bald greater primates who insult the evolutionary marvel that brought them here. Yes, primates—not monkeys, not chimps, nor orangutans, but humans, like you and I, who might as well be as uncivilized and primitive as their evolutionary brethren. Though I say this with the full expectation that most among them will fail to grasp even the meaning of their own Latinate epithet, let alone the depths of the condescension it conveys.