#go bottles

[can-we-die-now]

sometimes i worry about the people in our college

especially that guy who's sexually attracted to a bottle

i hope he's okay

i hope he finds himself a very good bottle

[hollenka99]

Odysseus: 600 men making our way back home to Ithaca!

*Polyphemus swings his club around*

Odysseus: 593 men making our way back home to Ithaca.

*Poseidon wipes out the other 11 ships in the fleet*

Odysseus: ...43 men making our way back home to Ithaca.

*Elpenor's drunk ass falls off Circe's roof*

Odysseus: 42 men making our way back home to Ithaca, I guess.

*Scylla targets the torch holders*

Odysseus: 36 men making our way back home to Ithaca. Put that sword away, Eurylochus.

*Zeus strikes the ship with lightning*

Odysseus: 1 man making his way back home to Penelope and Telemachus. And by the gods, I will somehow make it.

[ruushes]

had some very specific things i wanted to work on this weekend and got possessed by the specter of undercut lae'zel instead 🤦

[precariouswizardry]

[shandzii]

idk makes them interact with my mind

[cometblaster2070]

i'm making myself laugh thinking about this but I wholeheartedly believe madame morrible absolutely HATES the thought of glinda and elphaba being together like the mere mention of gelphie would probably send her into immediate cardiac arrest and it's not even because she's homophobic or anything I just fully believe she dislikes glinda so so much she's just like this is absolutely NOT happening in my house.

glinda and elphaba are having their gay ass moment and she's like "I sense a disturbance in the force; the wind is telling me those fucking lesbians are at it again."

like IK this woman hates to see glinda's fruity ass coming for several reasons but first and foremost I believe it's because she's so fucking ANNOYED by how much elphaba loves and cares for her, like this pink bitch is throwing a wrench in her plans just by EXISTING and being herself.

and she can't even really do anything to glinda because it'll make elphaba upset and she really can't have that so she just has to sit there and be like

[petricorah]

me, halfway through listening through a song: hmm this might have otp potential

*restarts song but this time listening with Blorbo Intent

[boasamishipper]

imagine being fields goodman. your husband gets severed and starts working for lumon and whatever your feelings on the matter are the money is good and your husband seems happy so you let it slide. then one day out of the blue your husband gets canned because (lumon's words) his innie had an unsanctioned erotic entanglement with another worker and they don't tell him who. you suggest a trip to milwaukee (the original brew city) to take his mind off things. while you're both busy packing you're suddenly distracted by someone pounding on your front door and screaming your husband's name. when your husband goes to answer the door the man on the other side has no idea who your husband is or how he (the man) got there. the only possible explanation you can think of is that this must be who your husband's innie was having an affair with and so you cancel your trip to milwaukee so your husband can spend his nights in a car with roll-down windows to stake out the man's house and watch him make clandestine phone calls from the only phone booth in kier. and then you have to have dinner with your husband and the man whose innie your husband's innie was erotically entangled with. has everyone tried the ham. you think the ham is lovely

[zarla-s]

i really thought they were doing shots in this scene

[patreon]

[morganbritton132]

I need someone who is funnier than me to write a fic about the time between when Steve and Robin start working together and Dustin coming back from summer camp because I know that Steve annoyed the fuck out of her.

Like I just know Robin rolls into work every morning hot and sweaty from having to scooter there, locked and loaded with mean sarcastic comments, and there’s Steve. With his dumb hair and his socks matching his uniform complaining that he had to open alone (they have no customers. He has not counted the register).

Steve doesn’t get her sarcasm yet so sometimes she’ll say something and can see that it hurt his feelings. He’ll stalk off to pout and she’ll think about apologizing, but then she’ll hear him think aloud, “I wonder if I can juggle?”

Followed the sound of broken glass.

[angelcake10023]

One-Sided Identity Reveal… Part 2

I hope the dialogue makes sense I was kind of winging it heksjskshejd anyway here’s Loid being totally and completely chill about this situation yep yep yep

Part One // Next ?

Based off THIS ramble post

[dr-wormman]

Lupa [crowd goes wild]

[rapidhighway]

mmmmmmm anxiety fuck off hmmmmmmmm anxiety fuck offff mmmmmmmmmm

[shushmal]

The latest Family Video customer is barely through the door before Eddie explodes, "Ugh, Tyler."

Beside him, Steve scoffs in agreement, nose wrinkled with distaste. He's so hot. "Yeah, exactly, uugh."

"That should be his middle name. Ugh," Robin chimes in. Eddie's so glad they're in agreement about the bleach-spiked punk guy that graduated three years ago but is still bumming around Hawkins. "Steve, I can't believe you dated that guy."

Seriously, Tyler is the worst— Wait, what—?

"Wait," Eddie says, gaping at Robin. "What?"

"You could barely call it dating," Steve huffs.

"You were together for a month and a half," Robin says. She's got this evil grin on her face and is pointedly not looking at Eddie who is very desperate for Robin to look at him right now, please. "You drove that bum to Indy every weekend. He broke up with you on Valentine's day."

Eddie's weak "Tyler? Tyler Teaks?" gets completely ignored.

"I—" Steve says with haughty emphasis. "—broke up with him on Valentine's day. Don't get it twisted, Buckley."

Robin snorts and finally glances at Eddie. "Steve only broke up with him because the guy blew him off. On Valentine's Day. Which is basically getting broken up with," she tells him, and ignores it when Eddie whimpers at her.

"Yeah, but I'm the one to ended it!" Steve insits.

Eddie, finally, finds his voice, and says, "Tyler Teaks?! Harrington!"

"Ugh," Steve says, slumping against the counter. "I know." He cuts a glare over at Eddie after a moment. "I blame you for this."

"Me?!" Eddie shrieks, incredulous. He's pretty sure he's stepped into another parallel world. Perpendicular world? A world where Steve apparently dates guys—and guys like Tyler Teaks, no less. Eddie's sure he's gone completely batshit insane. "What the hell did I do?!"

Steve stands, cocking his hip the side, and looks down his handsome nose at Eddie. "You wouldn't be my New Year's kiss at Tina's party," he says. "So I had to settle for Tyler Teaks instead."

"What the fuck?" Eddie says, completely lost. "What—? You—? Tina—? KISS—?!"

Beside them, Robin is grinning, laughing, eyes going back and forth between them, munching on a stolen back of skittles—her own personal dramedy on stage before her.

"Yep," Steve says, popping the P. He looks distinctly bitter. "Pulled my best moves on you, and you turned me down."

"Steve," Eddie breathes. He reaches out, places both hands on Steve's shoulders, intent. The eye contact he forces Steve into is desperate. "I don't even remember getting to Tina's New Year's Party." He takes a deep breath. "I woke up in her mom's pantry the next morning with no shoes and no memory of how I got there."

Finally, Steve cracks, a big smile stretching his face. Robin cackles. "Yeah, I kind of figured as much," Steve sighs, wistful now. "You told me, and I quote, 'Steve Harrington, you are very beautiful and I want to have a summer wedding because you'd look beautiful-er with sunflowers'—"

"Don't forget the 'you look so hot in that sweater' part."

"—'But actually, I am a very straight man. So very super straight.' And then you crouched down on the floor and crawled away." Steve is biting his lip now to keep from laughing. Robin is not so nice. "Like I couldn't see you, and the handkerchief flagging in your pocket."

"Oh my god."

"Don't worry, it was really cute," Steve says, grinning. "But, I still needed a New Year's kiss, and unfortunately for everyone involved, Tyler was my only willing choice."

"Oh my god."

"Totally duped me though, he was super sweet the entire night," Steve sighs. His mouth is twisted into genuine regret now. "Plus, the next week, you acted like you'd never spoken to me before, so—"

"OH MY GOD."

Steve and Robin give him twin grimaces. Robin's is a lot more sympathetic. Steve's is confused. "Listen, man," Steve tries to soothe. "I'm sure that's pretty embarrassing, but it was a cute story! No hard feelings, I promise."

Robin's sympathetic grimace deepens.

"No," Eddie says, standing up straight. "I refuse. There is no way I turned down Steve Harrington for a New Year's kiss. There is no way."

"Wait—"

"Eddie, where—"

Eddie marches for the door, digging his keys out of his pockets. "Good-bye friends, I must go see a supergirl about time travel."

[mellosdrawings]

So... heat waves are fun (not)

(Bonus : Mama Jamil)

[jupiterjelliez]

they heard you had insomnia