#goblin behavior

[lindseymcdonaldseyelashes]

Leverage 4x16- "The Gold Job"

[vlovann]

Made a gif of icecreamsandwich that explains my graceful demeanor whether at home or in public because I couldn’t find any of it.

[boy-oneder]

Cunning Stunts | Lars digging for gold

[hobgobknowsbest]

alright, which one of you was this

only a goblin would speak the truth so openly

[emcant]

The face of a woman who waited until we were both out, then took off her own collar and hid it so well we can't find it

[magigoblin]

Okay, hot take

Outdoor security is a fantastic gig for goblins. Think about it.

- You get paid to wander the grounds at night, stalking the fog and the shadows looking for human intruders

- You are literally the one thing there that nobody wants to run into, because they know they’re in danger if you find them

- A high degree of separation from humanity outside of finding intruders during work hours

- You are very much encouraged to stop and notice the small things, just in case, you have a work reason to admire the bugs and frogs and stuff

- You see and hear a lot more than the humans assume you do, and that gap between cognition and reality can be FUN to use

- Humans tend to accept your quirks as a result of the work instead of being weird about it

If a gob must live in human society, there’s a compelling case to be had! And unlike similar jobs like being a cop, security officers provide a genuinely appreciated service. Their presence alone gives peace of mind to people, especially if they’re assigned to a housing complex, which can help scratch that community itch!

[jackals-ships]

IM PUTING BREAD IN THE TOASTER MITTENS TRIES RO EAT IT OUT THE TOASTER

SWEETHEARTBEAST

[grandmasoop]

No big dick and no small dick, just a medium dick that speaks to ghosts and they're telling me that I'm a sad loney bitch lmao

[circeofjagd]

Remember - you too can piss on Trump graffiti. It's good for you.

[dirtbean1]

I would like to look like the guitar solo of Bulls on Parade and exude the energy of Adrock on all of License to Ill. Overall, I am a very obnoxious being.

[mvgnvsvntimvjoris]

I’m one episode from finishing like 10 shows but I am unable to finish them. They are wandering free in my mind as I will never comit to their ending. Live long, cowboys, live long.

[boy-oneder]

Paul getting his daily dose of fiber

[hobgobknowsbest]

Goblin tips vol. 5: eating habits

goblins tend to lean heavily into the omnivore category. more specifically, they're about as opportunistic in their diets as a raccoon, and absolutely hate wasting food

typical things you'll hear from a goblin in or around a kitchen/dining area:

are you going to finish that?

hey wait! don't throw that away!

it's fine if you just scrape the top off

I don't tend to include personal anecdotes in my tips, but one of my best friends, who is the most goblin goblin I've ever had the pleasure of knowing in real life, regularly eats out of the trash. and I don't mean careful dumpster diving behind Whole Foods, I mean if she's hungry and there's a half eaten burrito in the trash can outside a restaurant, then her hunger is now sated

I've eaten whole chicken bones, loved raw meat as a child, and the "five second rule" means nothing because time isn't real. same with expiration dates; they're just suggestions really

you can food anything if you chew hard enough

[magigoblin]

One of Gobbo’s favorite wizard activities is to, when in the presence of non-wizards who are not privy to the rules about spell names being spoken aloud, make up names for the trivial day to day spells and make them more weird every time to see how long it takes them to suspect Gobbo is making them up.

. . . For those who don’t know, saying/shouting the names of spells is a safety thing. A courtesy to bystanders that someone has angered the wizard and a warning to the target to prepare countermagic NOW. They aren’t necessary to use the magic, but they’re definitely a lotta fun. The drama, the delivery, it’s part of the thrill of casting dangerous spells, and many wizards take great pride in the force of presence created by their announcements. Most don’t say anything for the small stuff like Light Candle or Levitate Book, but saying in a dramatic tone “Magister Moriarty’s Magnificent Movement of Tomes” under the breath just loud enough to make bystanders wonder if it’s necessary or not is great fun.

Or maybe that’s the goblin more than the wizard at work. At this point, Gobbo’s never sure.

[hole-at-the-center-of-everything]

"make your bed" they say "it's good for your mental health" they say

BUT have they ever considered I like feeling like a little rabbit that has to dig through that pile of blankets and pillows to find the ultimate cozy burrow spot?

NO.

[dirtbean1]

Ate a leaf the other day and everyone was like stop doing that I’m sorry what do you mean where’s your sense of curiosity? Did it not look crunchy to you?