#god... and i call myself a follower. i did not follow thats for sure

[nebulastarss]

Built a grill today

[aphroditeinthesea]

Hi! I hope your day is going well, could you please do headcanons or a scenario for Leo Valdez or Percy Jackson if they were Spider-Man and had a crush on the reader (daughter/child of Demeter) please? Thank you so much and have a good rest of your day! 💜

“ itsy bitsy spider ”

percy jackson x demeter!reader 🌊

⚠️ none

a/n i just watched spider man for the first time

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

Math. Ew. Currently, you were engulfed in a packet of just math after math. This is what you get for slacking off, you suppose. It was either do schoolwork or go back to camp to fight monsters.

You were starting to consider the latter.

You heard a growl from your stomach. How long have you been at this now? You stretched your arms behind your head, a crack coming from your joints. You cringed at the feeling. You turned your head towards your windows and

“Oh my gods!” You yelped, nearly falling out of your chair. You were met with a masked face staring into your window.

Your heart pounded in your chest as your brain registered. Spiderman?

You walked over towards the glass, sliding it up, “hello?”

“Hey, uhm,” he was breathing heavily, voice hoarse. “Can I come in?”

You backed up, “yeah, sure.” He made his way inside, clutching his arm. You could see there was some visible tear to his sleeve.

You hesitantly walked over to him, “hey,” you touched his arm gently, “are you alright?”

If he wasn't stressed before, he was now. “Thats why I came here, you're the only person who,” he knew, “I saw with their window open.”

You nodded, “let me see,” he slowly removed his hand from his arm. Revealed was a gash that was dripping blood.

You flinched, “oh my gods,” you looked back up at him, “follow me.” You walked out of your room, leading him to the bathroom. “Sit,” you beckoned towards the toilet. He obeyed, watching you intently.

You knelt down, digging through the cabinet. You finally gathered all you needed before turning back to him.

“I like the flowers,” he commented, motioning towards the potted plants aligning the bathroom.

You smiled, “thanks, I grow them myself.” You poured some rubbing alcohol on a wash cloth, “this is going to burn.”

He nodded, “okay.”

You pressed the fabric onto his arm. He threw his head back as he hissed, “gods.”

You raised an eyebrow, “what did you say?

“Nothing.”

You nodded, “here,” you squeezed out some neosporin, “that better?”

“Yeah, thanks.” He admired the way your hair fell in your face as you focused on making sure you even spread the gel.

You looked back up at him, “I have some gauze then you can probably go.”

“Oh.”

You tightly wrapped the bandage around his arm to stay firm, “is that too tight?”

He did not answer.

“Spiderman?”

You looked up to see him already staring at you, “what?”

You quietly laughed, “is it too tight?”

He shook his head, “no, no, it's perfect.”

“Good,” you stepped back, “you can probably go, if you want.”

“Yeah, right.” He stood up, “thanks, Y/N.”

“What?”

“What?”

“You know my name?”

He just stared at you for a minute, “I should go.”

He began walking, but you felt the urge to call after him. “Wait, uhm,” you bit your lip, “you can stay, if you want.”

He stopped in his tracks. You had just asked him to stay. He was gonna faint.

He turned around, “I will.” He stepped closer to you, "you're not just saying that because of my amazing physique?”

You tilted your head with a smile, “maybe.”

So, you somehow found yourself laying beside Spiderman in your bed. He tossed one of your stuffed animals up in the air over and over again as the two of you spoke about whatever. For someone with a hidden identity, he was an open book.

He reminded you so much of someone, but you just could not place it. Something about his voice.

“You remind me of one of my friends from camp.”

“Really?”

You nodded, leaning closer to him, resting on your fist, “yeah.”

“What’s his name?”

You smiled, avoiding his eyes, “Percy.”

“Weird name.”

“What?” You looked back over to him, “no, he’s sweet.”

He grinned under the mask, “do you have a crush on him or something?”

You stayed silent, covering your face with your hands.

He sat up, “you totally do!”

You shook your head, “I don't know!” You defend, “he’s sweet, and he has like a nice face, I guess.”

He leaned closer to you, “I could have a nice face.”

“I’m sure you do, Spidey.” You felt yourself pulling towards him like a magnet. You found your hand leading up to his face, touching the fabric. “Can I?”

“Go ahead.”

You closed your eyes as you moved the fabric. You could feel his soft, subtly stubbly skin. With the mask still in your hand, you pressed your lips to his. His hand touched the curve of your back to pull you closer.

When you finally opened your eyes, you were met with sea green ones.

“Nice face?”

[okthatsgreat]

did anybody see the newest episode of danganronpa 52 lollllllll

#there is something deeply wrong with team dr im afraid #A DEATH SO SOON JESUSSSSSS where was the ult cardiologist at......... #dr52 liveblog #dr52 spoilers #lee chat

5 notes

🐻 dangronper Follow

Gonna try getting into the new season lol, I stopped watching at season 37. No spoilers please

🐻 dangronper Follow

Okay wow a lot has changed! Everything is so high tech now??? I kinda miss when they just kept it more simple and had them all locked in a school ngl but maybe thats just me liking season 1 lol. Im really liking Jiro so far Im hoping he at least makes it to chapter 3 because I really wanna know more about that guy

🐻 dangronper Follow

You've gotta be kidding.

#CHAPTER ONE? HE DIED CHAPTER ONE? #THIS IS WHY I HATE ALL OF THE NEW SEASONS SO FUCKIGN BAD #THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT SHOCK VALUE AND THEY DONT CARE ABOUT STORY #THAT DEATH MAKES NO SENSE THERE ARE YOU ACTUALLY JOKING #Im logging off.

4 notes

💀 youvegotthatrite Following

12,433 notes

🫖 nagitosleftleg Follow

just a reminder that wishing death on any of the danganronpa writers makes you a terrible person and all of your favorite danganronpa characters hate you if you do that! 🤗 this is danganronpa so a lot of them will die 🤗 that doesnt mean you get to be a dickhead to team dr 🤗 get over it! 🤗

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

oh my god can anybody in this fandom just be normal and not use this weird passive aggressive tone for every single post. the writers do not give less of a fuck and neither do the actors theyre all dealing with their own shit

#i hate this fandom istg. and stop calling them characters the flashback light doesnt make them entirely fake #theyre still actual people #with feelings #danganronpa 52

769 notes

🍀luckyguy Follow

this is NOT what ultimate hope makoto naegi would have wanted

#dr52 spoilers #lucky student killed first chapter <;/3 #shut up you [txt]

4,013 notes

🔧 sorryiwasbornstupid Follow

kazuichi sighted in the new post-season promo video he looks so g.ood .... . id let him do anything to me

🌸 neverminded Following

@kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial

🔧 sorryiwasbornstupid Follow

HELLO?

34 notes

🔪 danganronpa Following

Puhuhu! New episode of DANGANRONPA 52 out TODAY at 1pm JST! Make sure to bring your popcorn and your bagels, this episode sure gets.... despairful 👀You won't wanna miss it!

🍀luckyguy Follow

K

🔱 ultscubafan Follow

U

🎆 chickencoopexplosion Follow

N

🫖 nagitosleftleg Follow

G

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

P

9,012 notes

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

can early season purists please get their heads out of nagito komaedas ass. he does not want to fuck you

106 notes

🎞️ kirigiririririri Follow

Waiittttt Jiro is so cute actually XD He keeps tripping over his shoelaces in the background of scenes LOL he's so smol ..............

🎞️ kirigiririririri Follow

I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF

#he's DEAD?????????????????????????????????

2 notes

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

keep in mind the danganronpa actors are still real people and they can see all of you thirsting over them ok. please be normal. just because they went through the effects of the flashback light doesnt mean its ok to be a fucking weirdo to hajime whenever he walks outside

🧊 kokoroicebox Follow

They're celebrities. People are going to find celebrities attractive, especially if these are people they see on screens and billboards every day. If you pick up the nearest magazine you find you're probably going to find Junko Enoshima in it. And maybe you should consider that those "weirdos" who are walking up to Hajime are simply fans that want to greet him. We've watched these people fight through hell, cry, laugh, and find hope along the way. Of course we are going to get attached to them, especially to those of us who have been keeping up with them for a long time now. You're basically asking a bunch of teenagers to close their eyes and pretend their favorite media doesn't exist.

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

i literally did not say that

🌀 cageofdeath Follow

have you maybe ever considered that maybe some people get hyperfixations??

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

oh my fucking god.

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

anybody in this thread smoke weed

1,034 notes

🍊 hinataorangejuice Follow

OKKKKK WAIT WHY IS RANTARO KINDA 👀👀👀

#the way he got so serious while investigating.............. #wasnt a huge fan of him at the start but he's growing on me lowkey #dr52 #danganronpa 52 #dr52 #orange speaks!

29 notes

💀 youvegotthatrite Following

JIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#FUFUUUCUCKKCKCCKKKCKKCKC I REALLY LIEKD HIM!!!3!@!#(!# #FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK #ORUUGH WHY COULDNT HAVE BEEN MOMO #dr52 lb

8 notes

🍧minimarruuuu Follow

no chapter 1 death is ever gonna beat sayaka imo #girl

#it just really started the series off so well and no other chapter 1 victim has impressed me tbh #ugh but idk shes kinda annoying now with all of her interviewssss like girl its ok to not smile sometimes lmfao #sayaka maizono #dr52 critical #maru.txt

11 notes

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

guy ists ok hes not actually dead hes just sleeping guys

#guys #danganronpa 52 #danganronpa 52 spoilers #<- ??? just in case

🔍 kirigiri Following

a

🍊 hinataorangejuice Follow

ok queen speak your truth i guess

🌸 neverminded Following

THIS MIGHT BE A CLUE THIS MGIHT BE A CLUE TO JIROS KILLER IM LOOKIGNGGGGG SO HARD AT AKEMI RIGHT NOW

🎆 chickencoopexplosion Follow

i think she might have just accidentally posted a draft lol

🌸 neverminded Following

I dont know............. team dr has done this before where they leave littel clues in places and this seems a little TOO coincidental

🔍 kirigiri Following

I hit the post button too early.

🌸 neverminded Following

KYOKO KIRIGIRI?

43,033 notes

🐰monomini Follow

okkkkk im kinda over rantaro already lmao. heres hoping we dont get another season of him

1 note

[freaksun]

tongue piercing reader x best friend!eddie munson

no smut nothing rlly happens just mutual pining and bad writing !! Eddie says m’lady but i think thats the only mention of gender.

You got your tongue pierced today, in a very professional shop a little out of town. Away from your best friend, eddie. Driving back, you decide to stop at a gas station to call and make sure hes home, you wanna stop by and show him your new shiny addition!!

the phone only rings once.

“Hey eddie!!” You almost squeal, though your mouth hurts, youre already excited to show him.

“Hi sweetheart, whats up?” He asks, adorning one of his many nicknames for you. Despite his constant use it still makes you a little flush.

“Are you at home?”

“‘Course babe, why?” God, he couldnt stand to just call you by your name, could he?

“Im stopping by.” You state. You two stopped asking years ago, obsesed with each others presence.

You drive the rest of the way, jamming to the radio though you dont sing like you usually do.

He hears the crunch of gravel under your wheels as you pull up, the low hum of the radio, he jumps to his feet before you even stop the car, and hes outside before you can even open your door. You smile excitedly, you cant wait to blow his mind.

Opening your door, he helps you out, faux gentlemanly.

“M’lady” he grins “to what do i owe your grace?”

You smile, almost evilly “glad you asked, munson”

he looks puzzled, you usually play along with his antics, speaking back in some awful old-timey accent.

“Well, go on” eager thing.

You dont indulge him just yet, letting yourself into his home, saying hi to his sweet uncle wayne as he follows you inside. You bee line to his room, your safe haven.

“Guess what i got pierced” you start with, giddy, as you sit on his bed. (Ignoring the crumbs that are splayed across his sheets)

his cheshire grin grows instantaneously. “What????”

Instead of just showing him, you like to tease. “My tongue.”

“What????? No fucking way. You did not, youre lying.” He almost fumbles over his words hes so excited. When he met you, you were a shy kid he had to coax to talk to him.

“Show me.” He demands, like i said, you two passed politeness a long, long time ago.

You smile, ready to indulge. You stick your tongue out, admiring the surprised and maybe even shocked look on his face. You giggle at his widened eyes, your tongue returning to its place.

He takes a few huge steps towards you, sitting next to you. His hand timidly holds your chin, eyes meeting yours (finally)

“S-show me again” theres a new unsteady shake in his voice. You obey, sticking your tongue out again, more relaxed this time. He moves your head side to side, grasp on your chin steady. He admires you for a few seconds before his questions flood his mind.

“Where the hell- how did- where did you get this??” Is the first. “jesus, were they clean?? Professional??”

You scoff “of course, teddy come on”

He smiles. “Why the hell did you go without me? I mean honestly i coulda done it myself” you giggle, a sound warm and welcome to him. he turns his head to the side, still staring at your new addition, his hand still holding your head in place.

“I know, i know, but i dunno… guess i kinda wanted to surprise you. And honestly, i feel like itd be harder if it were you.”

He smiles downwards, like a guilty child. he takes his hand away.

“What? Why?”

You match him suddenly shy again. “Well, i-i dont know. I guess cause im not scared to back out so i probably would. And cause i like, trust you” you break eye contact, staring down at his pretty hands instead. “Like, so i wouldnt be expecting it to hurt cause its you…”

you dont look up to see it, but hes grinning like you just told him youre in love with him. Which by his standards, you basically did.

See, Eddies been head over heels for you since the moment you met, as kids. He always thought you were far too good for him. Too sweet, too pretty, too kind. So he never pushed a line. What hes blind to see, however, is the way you absolutely melt in his gentle hold, thw way your knees almost buckle when he calls you any of your many many nicknames.

[jamespotterismydaddy]

Five Long Years (Chapter 2)

aemond x niece!reader

WARNINGS: kinda suggestive but thats is

WORDCOUNT: 1,290 words

last chapter series masterlist

You feel embarrassed by the whole interaction. Storming off yesterday surely didn’t make him think of you any less like a child but that embarrassment quickly turns to anger. He’s the one who acted rudely and you fancy him no longer. There’s hardly any way you could’ve loved him anyhow. You can’t love someone you don’t even know. You’ve changed in five years but so has he; a letter once a month isn’t enough to understand someone.

You change into your dress for the day, hoping you won’t have to interact with your uncle. If he doesn’t think you’re a woman now, then he’ll surely understand when he sees your gown. It’s respectable enough but clearly shows your curves as well. You look like a true lady in it, a true desirable lady. Not that you want to be desired by him… you perhaps just want to be seen by him…

You walk down the halls with your handmaidens and right past him. You wait… wait for him to call your name… and nothing. Nothing? He doesn’t call out for you, he doesn’t want to speak to you. Did he even look at you?

But he did. You never saw as his gaze followed when you walked past. He thought you looked ravishing but he also wanted to give you your space.

Perhaps I just made myself look even more childish. You shouldn’t care what he thinks. If he believes you’re a child then that’s that. Changing how you are to appeal to him is pathetic. A woman like you can get any man she wants. You don’t need your pretentious uncle.

“Ser, Brandon.” You greet the young knight, a handsome man who’s worthy of your attention. “How do you fare today?”

“Much better now that I am in such company, princess.” He replies with a pleasing smile. “Perhaps I could take you for a turn about the gardens?”

He doesn’t waste any time. You think to yourself. Ser Brandon may be a knight but he is also a second son. Even the possibility of a betrothal to a princess is much more than a second son could ever ask for. Just your conversation is a prize to him. Though, he doesn’t act like it.

“I would like that very much. I haven’t yet had a chance to be in the sun today.” You say politely. 

“Yes, I think the weather must be far too cold for the liking of a dragon-rider.” You take his arm as he speaks to you. When you walk past Aemond this time, you don’t even check to see if he’s watching. 

But he is most definitely watching, and thinking about why his rūs mandianna is spending her time with a wretched rake like the Tyrell boy. The cunt is barely out of his teens and he’s probably fucked enough women for his cock to fall off. He is no company for a princess, especially not you.

You have fun with Brandon anyways. He is flirtatious and charming and you make plans to have luncheon with him the next day. You think about your time spent with him as you make your way down to the library that evening. It may be late, but it’s most definitely not unheard of for you to be selecting a book at such a time. The guards have become accustomed to your presence; you just can’t find anything more relaxing than having the massive library of the Red Keep all to yourself.

Though tonight, you do not have it all to yourself. Aemond is there, looking like the epitome of Valyrian beauty standing at one of the bookshelves. You’ve always thought that he must have been pulled from the gods’ design and been placed in this world just to be desired. No man should be so tempting as he is.

“I would advise you to be more careful with your company.” He murmurs without looking away from the shelf.

“I don’t recall requesting your advice.” You snap before composing yourself. You didn’t even realize that he saw you.

“You ought to watch your tongue, mandianna. You are, of course, a woman grown but I am still your elder. Myself and my advice should be respected by you, and I know about the ways of men.” He looks at you now.

“I apologize.” You say unseriously, frustrated that you immediately understand that he is speaking of Ser Brandon and does not hold him in high esteem. “I do find that I have difficulty accepting counsel when it is unsolicited, kepus.” You bite back with a restrained level of snark and the corner of his lip quirks up. “Do you find my irritation amusing?” You ask, annoyed by his smile.

“No, I appreciate your boldness. You aren’t as reserved as you once were.” He says genuinely. 

“I thought a man as pious as you would believe women should be meek.”

“Do you wish that I wanted you to be subservient?” He is completely facing you now, any books on the shelves long forgotten.

You roll your eyes. “No.”

“Hmm…” His smirk must be from amusement now. “I do not want that from you.”

“That is interesting when you were just commanding my respect only moments ago.”

“I wish for you to honour me and my wisdom, not to submit.” He steps a little closer to you and you step to the side. You watch how his body follows to face you.

“Your age does not mean you hold so much wisdom over me.” You say defiantly. 

“Doesn’t it?… naughty rūs.” He tuts under his breath and your cheeks burn at the teasing words.

“Don’t call me that.” He steps forward.

“Why? Just because you are grown now doesn’t mean you don’t have things to learn.” He gets closer and your back hits the bookshelf as you try to move away.

“Do you wish to teach me things or do you enjoy the idea of caging a free bird?” He’s so close to you now that you have to tilt your head up to look him in the eye.

“I would never desire to cage a woman like you.” His hands come up beside each side of your head, caging you in in a different way.

“Well, I currently feel very confined.” You murmur quietly. There’s no need for anything above a whisper when he can practically taste your words.

“Not confined… enveloped.” He breathes back.

“I won’t fall fancy to your flowery words.”

“I’m not trying to trick you.” His mouth moves close so he can whisper in your ear before his lips brush gently against it.

“Aemond…” You breathe out in surprise.

“You have changed so much these past years.” And it means something entirely different when he says it now.

“You have as well.” Is all you can say to reply.

“You have become so…” He tilts his head to the side so his lips are a centimetre away from yours. “Alluring.”

You think he may kiss you. You think you may also want him to kiss you. It would be so so easy; it could be so quick… if it weren’t for the sound of the library door opening. Aemond is quick to move away so it doesn’t even look like he was seconds away from ravishing you. You, on the other hand, are flushed and breathing heavily. Luckily, the old lord that enters doesn’t even look your way as he goes right to find his intended scroll.

Aemond looks back at you. “You might meet me here again tomorrow evening?” He seems to ask but cuts off any possible answer from you by speaking again. “It would please me greatly, mandianna.”

And with that, he’s gone.

taglists(comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy @ophelialaufey @aerangi @ravenclawprincess33

Five long years: @ewanmitchellconnoisseur @moonlightfoxx @toodlesxcuddles @dixie-elocin @cloudroomblog @scarletbedlam @qyburnsghost @urbanleftovers @lothiriel9 @katzarantos @leia-isabell @thestarlithideout

[samwinchestermydude]

My Supernatural Journey I guess

I actually did go into spn fully expecting to ship Destiel. I came into SPN after watching Merlin, and I had often seen Merthur (my beloved) and Destiel likened together. I barely knew anything about Sam. I only found out that Sam existed because I saw that he was being shipped with his brother on the Ao3 ships polls last year. I didn't know if Sam was important or not because I hadn't seen much content about him. So I ended up calling him the hippie brother mentally.

The only things I thought I knew about Supernatural was that it had some religious stuff in it, Destiel was canon apparently, there were demons and stuff, and John really hated. My impression on Spn was this horror show that was featured this really tough macho dudes but the show was supposedly kind of gay??

I also followed this one person way back for discussing this one video game. They were an ex-supernatural fan way back but left because they found discourse surrounding destiel to be to exhausting. They also used to be a big Sam fan and shipped wincest. I like found the latter to be like really weird back then but man the tides have turned.

So I turned on the Spn pilot with my mom in the same room one day out of sheer boredom. Back then I was still considering Spn as that tumblr show. And then the rest was history, and I lost countless hours of my life obsessing over the show.

So first of all, I only saw one brief glance at Sam before voting for merthur in the wincest vs merthur poll (I'd have probably voted for wincest now lol) so I didn't really know who he was. To me initially he just looked like the 2nd big, gruff dude with long hair. And then I found out that the sweetest looking boy with the floppiest bangs was that guy, Sam.

Also I thought Dean was the younger brother for some reason before watching the show (Probably because Jackles just doesn't age lol). So I was really surprised to see that the little kid in the opening scene was Dean and that the baby was Sam. Oh and I was totally predicting that John died actually in the opening scene and that something else was pretending to be their father lol.

I think I fell in love with the show right away. There was just something really believable and palpable about the brother's estrangement and relationship from the start and I just wanted to see how it developed. S1 is just filled with great horror episodes, and I started watching around October so it was just perfect timing.

So Things that Ended Up Suprising Me the Most/Other Things

I actually ended up really liking John in s1. JDM was just stellar in his all scenes and brought an emotional and sincere side to John. He's tough for sure but he doesn't hide his feelings about his boys. Like you can see the tears in his eyes when they reunite. Also his speech about how he wants Sam and Dean to have normal lives and how he's tired and so broken up after seeing all his friends being killed by meg never fails to hit hard. Do I think John was a good father. No. But he did care about his boys truly. And while I do understand Fandom's widespread dislike of John it is disheartening to see him reduced to this unfeeling caricature. John's problem wasn't that he felt too little; it was that he felt to much and he never really properly managed it and it ended up hurting the his boys.

I thought Meg and Sam would maybe end up being a thing and was like :(((( (because I just liked the bros being by themselves even though I wasn't a wincest shipper at the time lol) but I was also like go Sam if thats what you want ig? Lmao Idk I just wanted Sam to be happy even back then. Anyways thank god that never happened.

Me falling in love with Sam.

Dean. I always saw a lot about him but never found myself to interested in him as all I saw was Destiel content with him. But I ended up falling in love with his character so hard in Devil's trap. When he begs John not to kill him :(((((((((. I think Devil's trap is one of my favorite episodes for Dean. It's when I started to understand him and his loyalty to his family really touched me.

1x22 was also the episode that convinced me SPN was going to be a insane show. Like what a season finale. I feel so bad for the fans who had to wait to watch s2. I actually jumped up and said it ends like that?! The car scared me so bad.

Around s2 I set my foot in the wincest fandom. Back then I thought you guys were scary but in a good way. But I was also getting really into the codependency at the time so I found myself starting to seek wincest out because well you guys just get it. And then Dean sold his soul for Sam and I looked up wincest fic for the first time with the intent to read fic about wincest. Before it was reading wincest fic despite the wincest and then well all hell blew loose (sorry I just had to).

First wincest fic I read: half the man i used to be by dollylux. I wasn't exactly a wincest shipper then. But I thought it was fucked up and strangely fitting to Sam and Dean's relationship and fucked up lives. It was probably the fic that got me into wincest.

I had a bit of an internal rule I set for myself back then where I could only read Wincest fics that were about them being in a fucked and toxic relationship because I felt bad reading fics about an incest ship. So I guess in my mind it cancelled out because then I thought then I wasn't romanticizing the incest lol. Idgaf now. I read anything about Sam/Dean if it's good.

When You're Not Here by raziella was the 2nd wincest fic I read. I read it because it's pretty much gen but it does have some wincest leanings. It's a really good fic.

I gave up Destiel even before s4. It was around in S3 after seeing Sam slowly go insane that I realized I wanted nothing more than the two brothers together.

I just realized that even if Destiel was canon or not nothing could be as important to Dean than Sam was and vice versa for Sam.

I actually was anxious about s4 because I didn't want the show to change that much and drift from the focus on the brothers.

S4 and s5 were really difficult to go through for me. I thought they were great television but it was too painful. I felt horrible seeing what happened to the brothers and how they drifted apart.

S4 Sam hair was probably my favorite.

[mysteryanimator]

Watch it here :D

(heads up for any odd grammar, Grammarly cannot save me from my dyslexia)

I was originally not going to do a breakdown of this because a lot of my breakdowns and thought processes were getting really repetitive (also i was getting embarrassed by them HAHSDASHBDS). BUT boy oh boy this time around I can actually go "wait i can yap without being repetitive here, maybe, idk, we never know until i write it out."

STORYBOARD/ANIMATIC:

It was really fun to adapt AquliaofArkham's fic into a visual format! This is the specific section I had set out to visualize!

(Yes I only did thumbs for that section and freeballed the rest whoops, y'all do not follow by example, i didn't think i was getting this far tbh)

When translating this from written to visual, there were some key points I wanted down:

They are really really close to each other and the barrier between each other is SO thin, but the air is still super thick

visual eye breathing room compressed???

Is having stillness a way to convey that ???

We are following Mizrak's POV, ergo focus on what Mizrak is focusing on, where is his mind going

hold shots for longer???

limited movement due to Mizrak's hyperfocus???

Make shots intentionally heavily detailed ???

Zoom into details???

As much as I am passionate about storyboards, I do tend to get ahead of myself and end up locking myself into lots of close ups HAHAH. I like having each shot matter to me a lottttt so i end up reverting to reusing a lot of super common shot archetypes due to their attached meanings (I'd love to attend/watch some workshops on this, but uni ;-; i'll be free soon dwdw).

By the way, you will notice the animation is longer then the timed storyboard/animatic. This is because I retimed to placeholder dialogue (which y'all will NOT HEAR THATS EMBARRASSING, i dont need ppl to hear me yell clatter lol). Fun fact I originally had it in the first storyboard to help me with timing and then removed it half way through? Not sure why I did that, but regardless I came back around and retimed it so that the length of each shot feels believable enough to hold dialogue and has enough time to be visually digested by you guys.

ANIMATION:

This was a doozy, not because I found the animation hard, this time I actually was satisfied-ish with most of the end result and started implementing different approaches to the animation from all kinds of media; which was my issue LOL. My understanding of animation changed midway through. I can super distinctly see two different approaches, probably because I slipped into that naturally while having animated shows/movies while doing this and I can probably pin point to you which shots was influenced by what show.

First all dialogue and walking forward: rewatched TLOVM b4 season 3 dropped, which by this point is already out, (uh also Nocturne. again HAHAH)

WHICH, you'll see here, two different set ups were taken LOL (also oof you're seeing my setup). Personally, I like keeping my animation folders to the utmost minimum (so like the right! Olrox's folder is a whole character, separate moving bits like lips or even earrings will be in that one folder) because scrolling through can get a tad overwhelming and daunting, BUT, Olrox walking forward had so many small moving pieces with different timings that multiple animation folders was the best way to handle itttttt.

I feel like I only really care abt this BUT FILE MANAGEMENT IS IMPORTANT AAA. You should've seen my file management this time last year, actually horrific, but I'm so glad I figured out how to be cleaner, in turn speeding up my process. (which honestly was just thanks to being thrown into a studio environment and going "Oh my god so that's what I should be doing" and picking up things I noticed from other animators, which genuinely my learning comes from picking me up and throwing me into the deep end)

Secondly, Olrox arm and a scrapped walking scene: I was watching Prince of Egypt (literally that whole week, planning to rewatch again lmao), Sinbad, Road to El Dorado, and then work from Modernday James, Toniko Pantoja, Edward Kurchevsky

Fun fact, the very first walking was intended to be animated, and i redid it about four times before scrapping it completely. The first three iterations i didn't save because they were sooo clunky . It made me realize I gotta revisit my principles again I'm rusty (and i do LOLOLOL). I scrapped the anim because it did not flow into the next shot nicely but, It was good practice regardless HAHA

While mentally I feel like none of the shots match each other, they still do have some cohesion to one another

COMPOSITING:

The new thing, finally manually did the edge shadows in CSP HAHAH.

I will say this too, I got really nervous atp about the overall "quality" of the anim + the backgrounds. I was getting super hung up over it because I was alr worried abt the animation due to the safer choices I made (but also, I don't have to reinvent the wheel LMAO). SO, when I got to comping it was like "oh actually its actually fine LOL".

i stayed pretty sketchy with these since i was getting way too worried about it and wanted this to stay as a fun side project, also these are without comping- they become way more purple with compositing LOL

I feel like here too I ended up doing less then what I normally do, which I think mighttt be on part to finding more efficient ways to go about compositing things together (and faster too).

Also, I definitely got pushed into trying to lower the layer amount when I saw a tweet about layer efficiency/layer stacks and them mentioning applying Mattes and CC Composite. Actually a godsend, I didn't realize I could combine my effects like that to lower the amount.

Also, I swear no amount of precomping can save me from this. There's probably a better way to go abt this um LOL, everyone is getting a peep at my file management.

Also, I'm realizing I could've done a tad more with the actual composition itself, like the placement and movement of Olrox in the scene where he's walking forward. For now I have to leave it, because also, the intent for this one was to have fun rather then making every anim an exercise or else I'd burn out so fast LOL

Side tangent but, I've been digging my heels into the animation school club workshops on youtube rn due to having a moment with the scrapped Olrox side walk. Which holy shit, things have clicked for me, so I'm going to try and do more rough exercises b4 i do another finished anim again. It turned a light bulb in my head LMAO, and it pushed me to do the recent maria anim and mizrak and olrox kiss which has a massively greater understanding of timing and confidence LMAO

Ok now this is To Love a God finished! Another animation done :DDDDDD I'm super happy to be adapting a fanwork, it's always really fun and super exciting to bring other people's stuff to life, which what made this more enjoyable then anything else.

Will I do another polished anim before next year/before s2? Time will tell but for now i rest and speed to finish another semester of uni (there is a high chance for another anim because of a joke tweet i did not expect to get traction lol)

Thank youuu if you stayed this far, this was really lengthy and i think i went into different unrelated tangents, so i hope you enjoyed me pulling you into different directions HAHAHA

p.s i uploaded this to youtube and theres an age restriction BECAUSE OF THE FEET. Not because Olrox tells Mizrak he would fuck him, no it's his FEET. I've tried to appeal it but cant do much LOLOLOL

[qweirdangels]

yandere ask game.

worship , pray , priest , blasphemy , god , holy , apostle.

worship - i want to cut my name into you

awh, thats very cute. we would be so good for you, so patient and still, while you did it. why dont you go ahead and cut us up some more while youre at it, hm? i promise we'll make the prettiest noises for you.

pray - everytime i see you interact with anyone besides me it makes my blood boil, i wish youd only talk to me

aww why don't you come tell me that directly? i might do it, if given an incentive.

priest - i want you to become my god

i would take such good care of you, so long as you remained loyal. i would praise you and love on you. if you wanted me to hurt you? consider it done. if you wanted to hurt me? consider it done too. anything for my devoted follower <3

blasphemy - you're mine, I'd do anything to have you.

if you'll do anything, why don't you distinguish yourself from other anons? give yourself a tag, go off of anon, anything like that. i might just call myself yours if you show me who you are

god - I'm better than you for them, notice me instead.

anon, i do notice you. right now, that is. if you're so sure you'd be better than whoever you consider to be 'them', why don't you show me?

holy - i need to cannibalise you, romantically.

and i would let you, so long as you held me through the pain and wiped my tears.

apostle - i want you to be as obsessed with me as i am with you.

well you certainly have piqued my interest <3

[fraemlingg]

im just gonna freestyle this text so this is not gonna be very thought through or whatever but literally i am so incredibly sick of social media i am sooo sick of that ugly AI slop everywhere and algorithms and ads and everything being designed to keep us glued to our screens no matter the consequences

i am sick of monetarisation i am sick of posting my art online literally begging for people to like my posts in hopes of being able to make at least a lil money with my art one day it feels like im selling myself out and its so fucking far from authentic like im a tattoo artist and so i follow a bunch of other tattoo artists and although they all have such amazing unique styles everything feels so performative and i KNOW that every single one of them feels the same and its so fucking sad that we cant really do anything about it

and im not trying to sound pretentious but i?? kinda hate meme culture?? it pisses me off?? can we not have normal inside jokes anymore why are 10 people sending me funny little posts even though they know i will not look at them (and like rlly truly no offense bc i know they do it bc they love me and think of me and i love them for it and i appreciate it in one way or another im not being judgy rn thats not my point). i want to write letters not dms but i feel like if i were to say that i might be called "cringe" which yknow is a concern i already expressed in another post and might be a me-problem but as ethel cain said it so fantastically nothing is taken seriously anymore and i hugely blame social media and meme culture

and like pls keep enjoying ur memes im again not judging just speaking from my subjective experience and that experience is that it caused me brainrot im not sure i'll ever be able to fix and that SUUUUCKS dude we all got dragged into phone addiction without a fucking choice and it will just get worse and worse and worse

i watched LuvstarKeis youtube video on why you should make a website and i think they (i looked everywhere for their pronouns sry if i got it wrong ;w;) have such good points i rlly enjoy their youtube videos in general. so yea in the long run i think im gonna create a website (or two to separate tattoos n music), post it to instagram with a statement, and then im gonna "leave instagram". putting that in "" bc im gonna keep my instagram but only so people can dm me for appointments or other things bc i dont wanna give out my telegram and people these days are too damn lazy to write a single email (even dj bookers lol it pisses me off a bit like what do i have this mail for then). like why are people using AI to write emails pls make it stop sometimes we have to do things that are inconvenient and that is actually a GOOD thing my fucking god, same thing goes for physical media like dvds nd such like fuck streaming services but thats another topic for another day

im probably gonna keep posting on my priv instagram just bc like. theres so many photos on there from so many years ago that would probably be lost if i deleted that account nd like i go on there like every 3 months or so to dump my photos there and then i log off so whatever. i am mostly pissed off about sharing art on social media and feeling so unauthentic about it and being glued to my phone when i could do so many other much better things liKE UGHHHHHHH

i think dead internet theory is scary and depressing but lowkey i hope the internet is actually dying bc i am so sick of this internet society. i am so goddamn sick of everyone being addicted to their phones. remember when we had a life like?????? how did we end up like this

i also wanna get a flipphone one day but yea i gotta plan that shit

i just needed to vent i could probably go on for ages about this but imma choose to shut the fuck up now

[teardew]

-

im thinking about making a patreon because i .. uh .. i cant justify drawing for myself anymore and its killing me lmao

it takes me really long to draw so any time i hav should be spent on comms... iv been trying to fight off burnout by drawing things i like inbetween commissions like that sv anatomy practice and vampire/werewolf mngling was just for me but it still ended up setting me behind schedule because i had to rest my eyes and wrist afterward. but not only that i also wanna like. make a lot more things ...

like i wanna do animal, insect, architectural, jewelry studies and fashion and character design explorations and try designing icon packs and branch out trying embroidery with mixed media and clothes making and get into making like 3d things with clay and soft sculptures. i wanna make historical fashion coloring books with việt phục and fashion zines ...

also theres a lot of stuff i dont post bc im not sure if anyone would be interested in all the design concepts and notes i had for example the homestuck dreamer outfits or the various sha hualing designs and sketches i had before getting to the thing i posted? like i hav a bunch of different sqh outfit and hair designs but theyr more clothing based and not detailed character/face art ...

idk !! it sounds like an excuse. its like, who cares just post it ! i know i shouldnt value my art by the amount of numbers i get from posting on social media and i dont mostly but its kinda unavoidable ? to me ? i know i only post fanart and ppl follow me for that and its not a bad thing ! being realistic i just dont think anybody but me would be interested in it ??

i dont know. god. i dont know what this post is about. ''i dont think anybody would be interested in the things i really wanna make'' but im thinking about making a patreon for things i really wanna make anyway because thats the only way i can justify it is if i can profit off it in some way. i dont really want to, but with my financial circumstances i dont know. i never wanted to make my livelihood off my art. i dont even consider or call myself an ''artist'' really, i just want to MAKE art

i dont know why i still cant find a steady job after 5 months applying to everything and its making me miserable. its embarassing, they say to be persistent with jobs but calling and even walking in to check on applications and watching employers awkwardly try to turn me away without just flat out telling me no even though none of them hire me is an exercise in public humiliation. how bad do you want a job? bad enough to make a fool of myself with nothing to show for it. and i want to make art for myself to cope but it takes too much time and time is money

maybe this post is about my art anxiety under capitalism. i dont know

i think im safe enough now to admit my friends gofundme i was posting about months ago about helping their friend escape their abusive household was actually my gofundme because i was worried about them finding out and preventing me from leaving or internet stalking me afterwards. i did hav a scare when i got a phone call i thought was from my brother but ended up being a police officer, whos my mother's friend ...

but anyways. me admitting this is just to give context that. i ran hundreds of miles away from financial security and everything i ever knew and im still struggling to find steady income nearly half a year later. i just dont understand what im doing wrong. is it my name? is it because im not from here? iv been working continuously ever since i could legally my resume isnt BAD. am i just stupid? should i have just tried to make peace with my lot in life?

i thought getting away from my family would let me be in a better place to create more art, thats one of the things i was so excited about but this feels just as stressful as when i was the only earner supporting my family during covid. i just want a stable job so i can make art. i dont want making art to be my Job. i dont want to be a ''starving artist'' begging for people to care about my art i just want to make art. but fuck i dont know how to sustain any of this

sorry for this mess. insurance is different out here and i havnt been able to find a psych either so its not like i can talk about this in therapy instead of venting on my art blog. all my life i wanted to make things without the fear of it all being destroyed. the main reason i havnt branched out from illustrations is because its entirety can be saved digitally even if its physically ruined. my sketchbooks were thrown away or ripped apart by my family either from carelessness or anger to hurt me but now that im finally enough safe to have them again or make something i can hold in my hands without the fear that someone will come in break it and make me clean up its corpse i cant afford it

i dont know what to do. is it worth it? is making art worth it? i mean. its worth the rent this month. and i still love drawing god this is probably bad for business because i dont want people to feel bad for commissioning me or anything but not to be dramatic why does it feel like im fucking dying

[midknitefox]

took a break from cult of the lamb to play through fallout 4 so I can motivate myself some more. have some highlights. I wrote down all my thoughts while playing! ofc spoilers for fallout 4.

"if I don't answer the door, we won't be bombed, surely"

-----

"I love codsworth but I went to retrieve nick valentine and codsworth kept getting stuck. he's too bulky to fit through some of the spaces in there so I was basically on my own until he decided to teleport 😭"

-----

""it had been filled with fish-? or monsters? or- monster fish?? maybe, I don't know- i- we- da- not relevant! the minutemen are there now! thats good! for them. and I guess... everyone else too."

I love listening to Travis over the radio talk in between songs he's so amusing-"

-----

"just got a fat man and some ammo and stimpacks

should I be scared for what's coming-"

"Kellogg kept killing me so I delivered him a mini nuke to the face and got him right off the bat."

-----

"nick we just got here [goodneighbor] what the fuck are you drinking and where did you get it"

-----

"dogmeat uses the doghouse 😭💖 omg"

-----

"I GOT A VIDEO GAME IN THE VIDEO GAME!! Hold on, Nick. my son can wait. I have to game."

-----

"I got in my power armor and nick went "always wondered what you'd look like as a robot... not too shabby."

bRO. i love this man"

-----

"me: you took down 4 guys by yourself?

nick:"

-----

"I got to sanctuary and I couldn't find ANYONE even though I checked all the houses. nobody was asleep even tho it was the middle of the night. and so I was checking the house where nick likes to hammer the walls for some reason and I looked out the window. outside I saw jun and 2 settlers standing in the middle of the farm for no reason

...

I went outside to look and marcy, Preston, and mama Murphy were also outside in the farm standing in a line against the wall where I couldn't see them.

what. the fuck."

-----

"oh my goddddd I went and met the radio man in diamond city and he is so pathetic

I love him so much.

the big Russian bartender guy in the city and his brother asked me to help them raise his confidence

this is such a sweet questline

casually putting off getting Hancock for this-"

-----

"THERES A GHOUL IN THE BAR

WHAT

civilian: I think the mayor's okay, he's kept the ghouls out hasn't he?

the ghoul RIGHT BEHIND THEM:"

-----

"I got this off. a legendary radroach. imagine me charging through the commonwealth wielding a rolling pin.

ah... nice. I'll hold on to it."

-----

"YAY new friend ! Deacon can come follow me around now!!

I'm still gonna keep valentine around though."

-----

"it's perfect."

-----

"oh

oh god

I just realized it's called "Swan's Pond"

not "Swan Pond"

and when I initially passed it. Codsworth made note that "There's still a Swan boat here"

..........I hate everything. I have to go deal with this now. I can't not." (me who's actually never dealt with swan before)

-----

"mwah"

(I'll have to reblog cause I'm out of images to post LMAO)

[mrsvalentinefucker1]

Don’t get cocky

Gyro zeppeli x Male reader

It was a boring day, everything was slow and everything was especially exhausting.. you and you’re two friends (well really more partners) stopped at a near by bar. Gyro, of course, had his expectations high. Who knows maybe he’d get what he’s been searching for this whole race. Johnny was sitting at a stool and just ordered his drink. The waitress was obviously hitting on him but he didn’t care for it and just told her to bring him his drink.

“Can i get one scotch on the rocks please?” Your voice tore through the loud noises. The waitress nodded and started making your drink. After this day, you needed one.

“Seems like you’ve had a stressful day. Nyoho~” gyro said as he took the seat next to you

“Just been tired thats all. Plus aren’t you supposed to be trying to get some tail from a slut here? That’s all you do anyways” you rolled your eyes

“Woah! Someone’s snappy today” He remarked

The waitress handed you your drink and left to tend to the other customers.

“Thank you” You said. Gyro slammed down a 20 and looked at you.

“On me, alright?”

“And what? I have to pay you back.” You scoffed “no thanks I’ll get it myself!”

You reached for your money but he pushed your hand back down

“I said it was on me, Y/n. I’m a man of my word. It you want to pay me back, that’s you.”

You chuckled “I guess I could take it.” you sipped your drink “I mean who am I to pass up a free drink”

Later that night you stumbled back to your room. You payed for yours and gyros and Johnny got his own because he hates sharing with you two. It’s like a circus in there.

“Woah Y/n! Be careful you’ll fall” he laughed with a little hic in between them

“Shhh gyro, gyro, gyro” You stumbled on your words

“Yea?” He laughed, he himself also drunk beyond belief

“Gyro give me a kiss” you tapped your cheek and laughed

He moved your face in one swift motion and kissed your lips. Your eyes lit up and as much as you were embarrassed. Your erection started to grow. You usually were snappy to gyro but god did you find him irresistible. Every time he brought some girl back you wanted to punch him.

His hands started to roam and grab at your ass, you leaned more into the kiss. Doing the same.

“Y/n~ nyoho”

“Mhm?” You lifted your head to meet his eyes

“Meet me in the shower. 5 minutes. Not a moment later!” Oh god- you two were definitely about to get it on.

5 minutes passed and you walked into the shower. It was steaming in there. The mood felt different though that’s for sure.

“Gyro?” You called

“Come in y/n. Im just freshening up. Why don’t you come join me?” He did his signature laugh

You stripped of your clothing and hopped in the shower. Still embarrassed by your erection.

“Someone’s happy~” he reached down to grab ahold of your hard cock. He started stroking from base to head. He knows how a man likes it because of course, he’s a man.

You let out a lovely little sigh, encouraging him to go faster.

“Like that? Want me to fuck you y/n…?”

“F-fuck me gyro.”

“Hmmm. I don’t know. You’ve been rude today” he said slowly stroking your cock more and more

“Fuck! Im sorry gyro just please fuck me! I won’t ever be m- rude to you again! AUGH!” You pleaded

“Oh alright. I guess I could<3” he said in a cocky tone

His hand left your cock and left you feeling cold.. but soon was filled with the head of his cock pushing against your hole. He nudged you and pushed himself in. You yelped his name as he went deeper. His hand coming back to your cock.

“This is fun! Why don’t we do this all the time, caro~?” He exclaimed

“F-fuck” you let out a moan against your arm.

He started thrusting harder and faster into you, hand still jerking you off until you came with a loud sigh. His orgasm slowly followed. He kissed your head and you two fell down in the tub letting the water go your skin<3

————

Buy me a Kofi! ☕️

Definitely not required but they do help:)

[mondaymelon]

i see you're a fellow xiao lover 👁👁

i propose an idea: imagine a m!adeptus reader who is based off of krios khrysomallos, otherwise known as the golden-fleeced ram.

reader was just as close with xiao as the yaksha's were. rarely were the two seen apart, as they found comfort in each other's presence.

reader's adeptibeast form was a large ram with a golden coat of wool & large, curled ram horns. while in human form, he kept his horns, ram ears & tiny tail. his fleece was said to heal whoever touched it, even capable of bringing them back from the brink of death. naturally, an adeptus with this kind of power would be beneficial for a war such as the archon war, which the reader assisted morax in.

at the very end of the war, reader was exhausted. he wanted to go close his eyes & drift off into a long, well-deserved slumber, but he couldn't — not yet. he needed to make sure xiao was okay! after all, morax had essentially taken him under his wing &, by extension, that meant the reader considered him an acquaintance & potential friend. but as he was making his way over to xiao, the corners of his vision began to grow dark. his consciousness slipped away as did his strength to stay upright, the last memory of that moment being morax calling out his name in concern.

the golden-fleeced ram was said to of entered a comatose state, though he woke up a couple months following the war. during these few months, reader was placed in a sereniteapot for the time being, as it was probably the safest space for him. morax would visit frequently & xiao would accompany him. one of the times xiao visited, however, he damn near had a heart attack when reader abruptly rose from the bed he was resting in.

now, we know xiao is very hesitant when it comes to getting close to others. his karmic debt caused a wall to form between himself & the concept of social interaction. the reader understood this (to an extent), but assured xiao that his karmic debt wouldn't harm him. in fact, xiao would come to notice how the pain he felt tended to subside when he was in the presence of the reader. because of this, the two ended up spending more & more time in each other's presence, even if little words were shared. it was no surprise that the two ended up feeling more than just platonic affection for one another.

THIS IS KINDA LIKE.. A VERY SHORT VERSION OF WHAT I HAD IN MIND BUT... yeah. i have lots of headcanons for this too, just never had the courage to talk about it on this app 💀

— signing myself off as 🐏

anon. anon. i will peel open your skull extract your brain and KISS IT. I WILL KISS IT. THE BLESSED GOLDEN MIND THATS ABLE TO COME UP WITH SUCH BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS. OH MY FUCKING GOD. THIS PLOT LITERALLY HAS ME BLUSHING AND KICKING MY FEET???? NEVER SO MUCH HAVE I WANTED TO BE A SHEEP. WHY CANT I BE A SHEEP. WHY AM I HUMAN. FUCKKKK. SHEEEEEPPPPP

and oh shit. m! reader???? i love you even more. it is SO DAMN HARD TO FIND MALE READER BLOGS THESE DAYS i mean i read all. but like. yk. having a dick is nice. AHEM

and ohhh my goodness oh my god this is so o o o o oo. o oo well thought out !! literally the golden-fleeced ram fits so well because you are his therapy1!! his medicine!! he feels at comfort around you and only you, and he doesn't even understand why his hearts beats just a little bit faster and his cheeks warm at the meniton of your name :((

he's confused, but he's in love, and what can he do about it? he yearns for your presence and longs to hear your melodic laugh. he wants to see you happy and smiling by his side, with your fingers intertwined with his. he wants to bring your delicate hand up to his lips and kiss the back of it, only to watch your face explode into an entirely different shade of red...

ah. ive gone feral. shit

SDLJFKDS:LFJLKSDJFLKDSJ FRAAHHHH ONOMONOMONOMONOM FDJFKDJFKJFDJFJDLKJFLKDFWFE FGGRRR FRDFDFDFDNOMFDOFJGRUGUGUGUGUGUUG FJKSJLKDSJKSJKJSKJSKJSJ

JJAJAJAJJADFDFOMNFOEFOMGPHFJGOMPHJDDELOMPFWILYDFDILIYYY I LOVE RJDOIHFIMD SO MYICH SAAAHHH HES IJOSO SPRETYD DAJSFDSONFA BEIAUTIFUL AND I LVOE HISM AND I KWANTS HIKM TO SKISS ME WITH HIS AHEYES CLOSDSFD SO ITS ONSDOFLDISHF A SIGHT SDFJ I CAN SEE IOJFOIJ

I WANT TO SEE HIM VUNERAFDLSJALE AND AET PEACE WHERE HE FEELS SAFE SLEEPING BY MY SIDE. I WANT TO BRUSH THE hAIR OUT OF HIS EYES AND PLAY WITH ITS SOFT STRANdS AS HE SLOWLY BLINKS HIS EYES OPEN AND HIS LIpS FORM THE SMALLEST OF SMILES THE WARMEST EXPRESSION HE MAKES ALL FOR YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!! DJFJDSOFJSDKLJFLK:SDJGSEJkgK:VJlk

[acaciapines]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

i was tagged by @snarky-wallflower and i love talking, lets go!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

70 total, but 5 of those are chara's! so under my name its 65.

2. What’s your total word count?

1,427,738.....

cannot wait to break 2 million w the owl house daemon au. lets go!! never stop!!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

whatever i'm into, but for fandoms i see myself continuing to write for in the near-ish future: deltarune and the owl house!

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

you're something special: my first kris-identity fic! i have mixed feelings on this one lol. you can tell its the first i wrote and i hadnt yet solidified my version of kris, tho i think this one probably fits better with canon. overall i like it though!

but then a bigger heart grew back: ooooooh i REALLY love this one. its postcanon owl house fic centering on hunter's grief over flapjack's death and his friendship with waffles!!! i wrote and posted it the DAY after the finale came out which is still really wild to me. its also the only fic ive seen that uses my favorite headcanon of 'hunter didnt carve waffles, she found him' which im so so fond of.

i hope your organs fail you (before i do): this was the first deltarune fic i wrote after chapter 2 came out!! the beginning of my deltarune spiral....its sort of a messy non-chronological look at deltarune's various routes and how kris might experiencing the game's multiple save files. also it has such a banger title. salt lake city by motherfolk is just banger after banger lyrics-wise

non-imaginary friends: god i hate that this is up here dkgjdfg i wrote it back when deltarune first came out and it SHOWS. i refuse to reread it but i think it's kris trying and failing to introduce the dark worlds to asriel. c'mon guys ive written so many better deltarune fics. blease. let this one rest in the past <3

we don't belong (but we're together): oooh, a warrior cats one! im....i mean, this one is like, fine, i guess. it follows hollyleaf and jayfeather in an au where the two of them flee through the tunnels. it has fun lore and i do like my oc pine but. man. its also the fic where i gave hollyleaf a power and if theres one thing i would change about my warriors au its that holly would NOT get a power. this is why i pre-write all my fics before posting now!

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes!! or at least i try my best to. i love and appreciate all my comments sometimes im just Bad at responding to them....i never know what to say beyond 'wow thank you' so sometimes i try to focus more on comments where i can actually say something of substance, yknow?

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh thats hard hmmmmmmm. i think i'd have to say it's and i want to tell you something-- which is a fic about kris & ralsei & the player/soul, where susie and noelle try to save kris from the soul, but both kris and ralsei know they cant survive without it. so in the end kris shatters the soul and is implied to die rather than keep being trapped.

its!!! certainly a time!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmmm. i think most of my ending are pretty bittersweet so in terms of pure happy ending...gonna go for a deep cut here and say its my naddpod fic +1 dad in which moonshine meets lucanus when shes a kid and they hit it off and they get to have that father-daughter relationship from the start. bc lucanus is the BEST naddpod npc and oh my god he loves his daughter so so much you guys--

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have a few times but its never been like, super major. the funniest time is. i deleted the comment so i dont have the exact wording but im pretty sure someone called me a fandom-deserting cur for. not writing more warrior cat fanfiction?

like what were they expecting. truly.

9. Do you write smut?

no im very aroace lol. i barely write romance.

10. Do you write crossovers?

i used to!!! i did the adventure zone crossed with both how to train your dragon and pokemon mystery dungeon: explorers of sky. i was a different person back then. i dont think i'd do it now, but. who knows.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i HAVE had a fic pod-ficced which is still so amazing. like......woag. someone liked my fic enough to read the words out loud?????? huh????

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not exactly co-written but both sometimes i think i left you just to see if i'd be missed and a buy one, get one free sort of friend were inspired by conversations i had with my friend @hyperfixations-go-brr! they would not have existed without those long discord chats. halloween festival will live on forever. synth my love.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

im not super into ships beyond like. basic 'oh thats fun' when reading but i WILL actually give the two im the most excited to write in my dess raises kris au someday:

noelle/susie/ralsei: YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME. like. this is an au where noelle basically replaces kris in the fun gang but not in the prophecy and dkjgdfg its about. this budding relationship. and ralsei clinging to the prophecy that doesnt want noelle here and susie who bucks against anything that acts like it knows what shes supposed to do and noelle struggling with the return of her sister and a world that wants to write her out of the story and all of them wanting to be there for their friends but ralsei is dealing with so so much and in the end she gets to throw off her chains and be free <3 noelle/susie/ralsei is so real in my heart.

dess/chara: literally the funniest queerplatonic relationship ever. theyre reluctant coparents. dess trusts chara with kris's life. chara would never ever let dess watch either frisk OR kris unsupervised. chara is 'i can fix you' to dess's 'im literally the most perfect wife in the world.' dess doesn't believe romantic love is a real thing people feel. chara puts xir kids above everything else. dess never asked to be a mother even though she literally kidnapped her best friends baby sibling. they get married for the tax benefits. they should absolutely get a divorce.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

oh god theres so many i would love to finish but its been so long i doubt i'll go back to them lol. the sequel to +1 dad that involves baby moonshine going to gladeholm. wall-e daemon au. gravity falls transcedence au daemon au. percy jackson daemon au. deltarune daemon au fangame.

as you can see its mostly various daemon aus. they were fun while they lasted! but ive moved on </3

16. What are your writing strengths?

pov you are me suddenly forgetting every single thing i have ever written.

i think im very good at writing otherkin or otherwise nonhuman characters. the comments that always bring me the most joy are those on my otherkin fics, by people who were able to see themselves in what i wrote--i think this is a thing that took me a lot of failed attempts to get just right and im really really proud of what i have.

im very good at writing daemon aus <3 there is sort of. an art to figuring out if one a work even needs daemons and two how daemons enhance or add to some aspect of the original work. theres a lot of things i like that i dont think really work with daemons but i always really enjoy figuring out how to add daemons and how to make my daemons like, characters in their own right, you know?

i like to think im good at dialogue and characterization! theres a few characters--kris and the collector, firefly to an extent--that im really proud of the voices i've made for them.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

fight scenes. fight scenes. oh my god i hate them so much they are SO HARD. stop making me put!! visual things!! in my text based medium!!!

really any scene that relies on having a strong idea of like, physical descriptions and sense of a place--i have aphantasia so having to describe scenery and landscape and just, anything really is always a struggle for me.

i also struggle with pacing, to an extent, especially across longer works (im looking at you, owl house daemon au)--knowing how long a plot arc needs to last and how to make it interesting still even when its going to be around for 600k+ words is a challenge and if the owl house daemon au was my first massive fic undertaking i dont think i'd be able to do it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

god im so bad at it but i really really am trying to be better--one big thing im going to focus on in my owl house daemon au edit is based on this because i want luz's identity to stick with her throughout the fic rather than it taking a backseat, but i am not a spanish speaker!! i know like, a LITTLE, but nowhere near enough to feel confident writing it.

so. its a time!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

warrior cats. and beyond just 'oh its the first fandom i posted fic for' no i was writing warrior cat fanfiction from the START. i was out there on the playground coming up with warrior cat ocs. i was printing this stuff out in the school library. i would hand-write fanfiction about my childhood cats becoming warrior cats and starting their own clan. i would roleplay warrior cats on my bedroom floor with pictures of cats i cut out of printer paper and bits of plastic folders i folded into triangles and write down the stories i came up with.

i was the most warrior cat kid to warrior cat kid. I Have Always Been This Way.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

ohhhhhh this is SUCH a tough question i have so many im so fond of, but i think i'm going to have to go with alterhuman. it's an animorphs fic about tobias post-canon and its an exploration of species identity and being a hawk and as a red-tailed hawk myself, a lot of it is deeply personal, a lot of it is my love letter to animorphs, and a lot of it is neffit, who is the best oc i have ever created, hands down.

as for tags, uh....anybody who wants to talk about their fics! even if we dont know each other!! go forth! ramble on about your own stuff for an hour!! truly so so fun.

also @wynterwulf7 and @mackerelgray and @hyperfixations-go-brr. obviously. <3 even if its about fic that isnt on ao3.

[amidissociative]

hello. i need help from the OSDDID community.

hi there. call me C. i need help figuring out whether what im experiencing is common in the OSDDID community or not. not going to put too much identifying information here but the body is 20+.

TWs for rape (in adulthood), childhood sexual abuse, emotional abuse, etc. under the cut.

thanks for opening the post.

i seriously am confused and scared and a little bit angry because how would this sort of thing not be obvious to both myself and other people. yeah i guess dissociative disorders are meant to be covert but... come oooooon.

i've been raped 5 times as an adult (by the same person, long sad story blah blah), and have one extremely strong memory of a family member probably molesting me. the memory has never changed nor faded but i didnt actually acknowledge it as molestation until earlier this year when i realised, hey, maybe thats a bit fucked up actually.

anyway, i took the MID (Multidimensional Inventory of Dissociation) test a couple days ago and i really did not like my results. I was as honest as i could be, since the test was self-administered and i wasnt trying to impress anyone or prove anything or whatever the fuck. These were the first results i got (dark blue line is MY average, yellow is DID-patient average, light blue is OSDD average, pink is non-dissociative patient average):

obviously to me that reads as Bad and also Extremely Consistent With DID which i really don't fucking like.

Today i spent some time doing fucky little things to the answers i gave to the test. By which i mean, i went through my answers, and dropped all of the numeric scores by 2 points, unless the scores were a 2, 1, or 0 already. Therefore a 10 became an 8, a 5 became a 3, etc., but a 2 became a 1, and both 1s and 0s stayed the same. That means all the answers i gave an answer ABOVE 0 to, still had an answer above 0, but the drop as was consistent across the board as i could make it. The chart i got from that was:

NOT IDEAL.

so i went back and dropped ALL of the answers by one more point, regardless of what they were originally. meaning, 1s became 0s. everything dropped one entire point. the chart i got then was as follows:

AGAIN. NOT IDEAL. DOESNT MAKE ME HAPPY TO LOOK AT.

in essence i want to ask the OSDDID community: what am i looking at. is this real. is this possible. because i really actually don't want it to be, i dont like it, i dont want this. i would actually be happier with a schizophrenia diagnosis which is probably saying a lot since that disorder is also heavily stigmatised.

like yeah sure i guess theres 3 people in my head that like to take turns piloting the meatsuit but GOD ABOVE I THOUGHT THAT WAS NORMAL? HOW ISNT ANY OF THIS JUST NORMAL?

i am on my hands and knees here begging for insight, for advice, for anything. please. please.

before you get on my ass: YES, i am actively looking into psychiatric advice. my therapist as well as my gp/pcp have already made moves towards it. my country is just slow as fuck.

[xoxolifewithdoriann]

Happy Sunday my Loves turned Maverick Monday rolled into Taco Tuesday!

Dear Diary, 11/17/24

Happy Sunday my love!!! Today has been quite amazing out of the weekend lol. 

Dear Diary 11/18/24

MONDAY…. That should say a lot in itself. 

Today has been one and it’s only 2:08… so many mixed emotions and thoughts. 

Today my mind is in a battle place, coming to the end of my menstruation for this month… so dealing with all the feels of it (and this menstruation has been one for the books for me internally), i can feel the enemy trying to sneak in and feed me things, trying to pull on that strength that i had a couple of weeks ago, feeling frustration, feelings of to be very honest and transparent FUCK IT ALL… thats the best way to sum up where I am today. 

So let's recap from Sunday: 

Sunday started off pretty good and was overall good, the night was a little wonky for a sec but overall it was good. 

I did my hair, I got my bed together

Now this monday… that’s a different story, I woke up and immed called out sick for work due to tummy pains and cramps but then I felt better around 10 and decided Hey I am going to go to work. 

Was hoping that I didn’t have my sec job today but I did and I could take that extra change. However, I DO NOT WANT TO GO. 

Your girl seriously needs a vacation/holiday… I need some time away from EVERYONE,  and this weekend I will be getting away with some of those I love and it's amazing but what I need is time away from family, work, and more. 

11.19.24 - Tuesday - Currently Raining in GA

8:18am 

Gooooood Morning & Dear Diary 

I am loving these ongoing days of sharing bits and pieces of me that share a side of me that most don’t see just to the eye. You get to take a dive into my mind & thoughts, emotions & feelings, you get what a picture and video can’t tell.

God gave me this naturally, and he leads me to share in this manner and way and so I do it.

I did fall off for some years however it never left me because this ability to be able to share and share via writing and sharing myself with the World is absolutely a gift and takes all trust in God (let me be specific with you when I say all Trust in God, for me that looks like being able to share what's in me and not second guess what I am doing because I am solely trusting in God, hence one of the reasons I backed up was because i began to take that trust back from God). 

Okay so I am here at work and when I say this morning was a M O R N I N G for sure, the rain coming down, the temp of my room, and the nice morning light mixed with the darkness of the house…. BEING IN BED WAS PERFECT. The only thing that was missing from my bed was this nice height, amazing build, …. Wait a min never mind LMBO. But anyway, yes it was a perfect morning at 6:35am to stay in bed and just sleep in, wake up and slowly begin my day and have pillow talk in bed with God. 

Speaking of slow mornings I miss them, I miss easing into my day. Even with other jobs I have had the opportunity to ease into the day but here with this one I don’t get that opportunity and it’s one of the things that aggravate me. 

But today I didn’t want to come to work but couldn’t have a mental day today since I tried that yesterday and FAILED and came on in to this place *rolls eyes

Brief screaming intermission: OMG I AM OVER BEING SINGLE TODAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! I want to curse but try not to do that since I do it with my mouth and trying to cut back on that also. But today is one of those days  and better yet pause, we will talk about this in another entry. 

But yea I am here at work, working and writing lol look at that multitasking. I just found myself very frustrated and aggravated and now I think I will grab breakfast on my break because I sometimes soothe myself by eating, hence the weight I have graciously picked up. See if i was at home and i was frustrated etc, i could go to the gym and workout and talk to Holy Spirit my confidant. 

But today’s after work plans are as follows: 

Go home and change clothes, turn on lights and etc. 

DOLLAR TREE! Need to re-up on some things

Go to Pablos and enjoy TACO TUESDAY with a side of Teq ( a marg will be had)

Back home, and pull out looks for this weekend for me and nephew, and also pick out work clothes

BUBBLE BATH! This girl is having a bubble bath tonight and will prob do some self care: 

Self Care: Facial, Body care- shave legs, in depth shower routine, change nail polish

Nightcap with Holy Spirit

BED

Oh and what i was saying on Monday that on Sunday I did my hair…. And now I don’t want the style I did, I want straight hair LMAO. But we gone rock this wash and go until its not going lol. 

I am so over being here at work and it’s only 9:35am like seriously Doriann, you have to make it to 4:26pm. I want to cry so bad right now. 

Well my break came and went and i didn’t go get my breakfast so now i gotta wait for lunch and i am hungry all I got for lunch is a Caesar salad… I need something else. I am going to wrap up this entry right here, and will update you later if I accomplish all that I needed to do today. Let me go do some work that they pay me to do lol. 

 xoxo love always

doriann

💜💎🦋🫧🌹🌈👩🏾‍🌾🤎🍷❣️🩰🖤🎀