#gonna try to launch in January but

[acornered]

I am finally working on launching a patreon for my art because I am flat broke and cannot stand another second at a commercial job. Tbh this is so difficult because I have never had much confidence in my abilities as an artist, but my girlfriend (who makes her living as an artist on patreon) has been so sweet and encouraging, and her support has helped me muster up the courage to try sharing my art with the world.

Anyway, a question for the kind people of tumblr: what sort of things would you like to see me make art of? What objects would you be willing to give me a small monthly sum for? Any advice or words of encouragement from fellow artists? Is my girlfriend the cutest human in the world (yes.)?? Please comment below 😊💜🐛

[xerospaced]

It's quite nice being back on tumblr, I must say.

I've always offered support and whatnot, and that started before I even joined tumblr.

But being back here reminds me of how it was this space that really got me into it

And tbh, if it wasn't for tumblr I may not have come to the decision to really pursue a career in mental health in such a way. I definitely wouldn't have been willing to say fuck it to the traditional therapy route and begin building my own mental wellness consultancy business.

I used to regularly share posts offering an ear, advice, guidance, support - whatever people required. And people really started to take me up on that. I was given the opportunity to really help people. Some more significantly than others, but either way I was having a positive impact.

That people placed their trust in me, I will always be grateful for, because of them I got the confirmation that I am adept at handling sensitive matters and having a positive impact.

In over a decade of offering support in various ways, I have never had anyone come back to me with anything other than gratitude.

So yeah. I owe tumblr, specifically, the tumblr community a lot.

[door-insurance]

Not to be dramatic or anything, but thank you for your great chasemarsh art and for drawing the girls. Sometimes I genuinely worry that Victoria and Kate would be forgotten by this fandom, when they shouldn't bc they're also very important female characters to the story. people tend to treat Max and Chloe as if they're the only female characters so thank u for doing Kate and Vic justice!

Heya!

Thank you for the kind words, both Kate and Victoria are hella important characters and I'm glad to see them still get love. One of the things that motivated me to start making fanart was seeing how barren the other character tags were compared to Chloe, Max and Rachel

At some point Chasefield was the 2nd most popular ship in the fandom but as time went on I feel like the new batch of fans we're getting didn't really explore the game's world as well as the older generation did or got into the franchise through watching speedruns or even worse, they saw tik tok edits of only the max/chloe scenes and nothing else

It's actually painful lol we used to have ask blogs for characters like Brooke, people would do shitposts and scenarios that involved all the other blackwell kids- now whenever i feature them somewhere id get questions on who's who

I'm hoping that my project at least has that old fandom spirit of appreciating Arcadia Bay and the world building

---

speaking of VortexVN, I'm gonna start doing monthly updates. So far in January I managed to do the following;

-Added in an achievement system

It's gonna be list/text only, adding in pictures and stuff is just beyond my basic programming knowledge but I will include funny references specific to each route

-created a character sheet for Victoria:

i actually don't like how her sprites turned out i'm gonna revamp them next week

-Polished the waking up cutscene:

won't show the whole thing but this is the third frame

also just wanted to say that the demo launch was a success!

As of January we reached 59 downloads for the PC version and 80 browser plays for the web version, so in total 139 people played the demo... Holy shit amazeballs

Now going into this I knew it will never reach Love is Strange numbers and level of hype cause it's been almost 10 years but oh my god I didn't expect this many people playing lol

It’s kind of a gamble making a fan game featuring a divisive/antagonistic side character

my goal was around 50 downloads and browser plays for the FINAL RELEASE of the game, we hit that shit on day one with the goddamn demo- ya'll are amazing for that

I'm gonna try my best to get this project done as soons as May or June of this year, game deving isn't easy but I will try to update yall on a monthly basis.

Next week's tasks are the new journal entry and revamping Victoria's sprites

[kbspangler]

Would you like some happy news? Starting January 2025, SIDE QUESTED, our queer YA romantic comedy, will update three times a week!

Would you like more happy news? @alepresser I are launching a second webcomic! This one will be a Patreon exclusive for its first year as we get ready for its big launch, but you definitely want to get in early as we shape Penny and her adventures!

I'm excited for both of these projects…more so today than before Tuesday, to be honest.

SIDE QUESTED and Penny's adventures are going to be fun. They're going to be about joy and love and discovery…and, in Penny's case, tomb raiding and huge explosions.

We're gonna cram goodness into every single cranny of these comics like we're buttering a hot toasty story muffin.

If there's a crossover, then it'll be a turducken of comics cozy.

WE ARE MAKING GRILLED CHEESE AND TOMATO SOUP COMICS WITH SNARKY TEENAGERS AND MAGIC BATTLES FOR THESE TRYING TIMES GDI

I HATE THAT GUY AND WHAT HE STANDS FOR AND WE'RE GONNA DO WHAT WE CAN TO KEEP ROLLING OUR ROCK UP THAT HILL AND OUR ROCK IS COMICS SO LET'S FREAKIN' DO THIS

[toasttt11]

just friends

January 18, 2022

Hayden walked into Lauren and Connor’s house for dinner with them and Leon and Celeste after they all got back in Edmonton, Hayden came back this morning from Michigan and she went to go pick up Archie from his sitter.

Hayden smiled as Archie started immediately playing with Bowie and Lenny, She patted each of the three dogs heads as she walked by and headed to the kitchen seeing the four all sitting siring the island drinking wine and munching on some snacks.

“Hey Rook.” Connor grinned as Hayden snuck up behind him and rested her chin on his shoulder, ruffled her braid gently.

“Hey.” Hayden grinned at the four and bumped her elbow to Leon’s as he smirked his smirk at her and gently bumped her back.

Hayden looked at the girls and grew wary seeing their matching grins, “What?” Hayden slowly asked looking at the two warily.

“You have a boyfriend!” Celeste squealed literally jumping up and down.

“Huh?” Hayden sputtered out looking so incredibly confused.

Leon and Connor shared an amused look, the girls have not stopped talking about this since they saw Hayden’s post.

“You posted with him, Matt.” Lauren gently teased with a kind smile.

“What?” Hayden looked between the two trying to see if they were being serious her cheeks warmed up realizing they were being serious.

“No no Matt is just my best friend.” Hayden quickly denied ignoring the small pit in her stomach at her words.

“No way!” Celeste looked shocked her eyes blinking like crazy, “But you looked so cute together and it wasn’t a hard launch?”

“Oh no.” Hayden shook her head, “Just a post with my best friend.” Hayden denied with a small tight smile.

Lauren smiled a knowing smile, “Okay.” Laurie accepted Hayden’s words but she could tell one day Hayden and Matt would become more especially with the soft look in Hayden’s eyes when she was with Matt in the photos and the soft way she said her name.

“Okay.” Hayden slowly nodded and still looked at the two warily.

Lauren just smiled fondly and opened her arms up for a hug having missing Hayden, “Come here.”

Hayden smiled softly and walked around and melt into Lauren’s arm hugging her softly.

“Hi Hayden darling.” Lauren softly mumbled rubbing Hayden’s head softly.

“Hi.” Hayden softly mumbled and smiled at her as she let go of Lauren and hugged Celeste too.

Celeste grinned and hugged her back gently.

Hayden plopped onto the seat next to Leon and started munching on some hummus and pita chips and laughed with the four.

Lauren and Celeste shared a looked grinning knowingly that even if Hayden may not have “feelings” for Matt they know Hayden is gonna end up with him eventually.

[racingliners]

Livery Watch 2025: Predictions & Wishlist

(to the rough tune of The Boys Are Back from High School Musical 3) 🎶Livery Watch is back! Livery Watch is back! (Oh yeah)🎶

Not gonna lie, I have very much enjoyed the F1 Winter Break of 2024-25 - so much happened last season that I personally really needed it. But! As we know the F1 grind never stops and the big F1-75 livery launch show is tomorrow! So it's time for me to dust off Livery Watch for another season.

As ever, my first post of the year is always a combination of my wishlist and a vague attempt at predicting what each team's core livery for 2024 will look like. I'll then reblog this post with my thoughts and ratings of each livery, to see how right or wrong I was. And I'm not trying to think about how potentially stressful tomorrow is going to be with all 10 liveries in one night but that's for tomorrow me.

So, let's get into it!

McLaren: I feel somewhat filled with subdued confidence that McLaren are going to carry on with a half-papaya orange half-exposed carbon livery as they have done for the past two seasons. In an ideal world I would like more papaya and less carbon on the car, but after the Alpine debacle last season I will accept literally any amount of paint on the car.

Ferrari: The law of averages says that if you do the same thing over and over, it'll eventually happen. So for the third Livery Watch in succession I am once again asking for the return of the Tuscany 2020 burgundy livery. And honestly, looking at Ferrari's instagram posts through January, plus after seeing the 2025 team kit and driver overalls, all the signs seem to be pointing to a darker red livery than Ferrari have used in previous years... so the hopium levels are currently very high. To go full wish list I'd love to see some white accents, similar to the Las Vegas 2023 livery.

Red Bull: As has been mentioned many a time here on racingliners dot tumblr dot com, I yearn for the return of the soft metallic dark blue livery of the 2010s. But let's be real, we're probably gonna get the same livery Red Bull have sported since 2016 so my expectations are currently below sea level. Hopefully it won't look as bad as the team kit.

Mercedes: I honestly would not have one single complaint if they just ran the W15 livery again. I loved it so much and I think it deserves to be showcased on a better car (the potential of the W16 notwithstanding). As we know, Toto Wolff has said in interviews that Mercedes are going to continue having black as part of the Mercedes livery which I'm really glad to hear, not just from the meaning of it but also because the black, silver and turquoise colour scheme has become really synonymous with Mercedes - so I'm expecting some kind of combination of the three on the W16.

Aston Martin: To repeat what I said in the tags of a post I reblogged earlier today - if there is any exposed carbon on the AMR25 I will be suing Lawrence Stroll for emotional damages without hesitation. The Aston Martin livery is the epitome of 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' for me, and also goes to show that you 100% can repeat a livery year on year if it works. And having been so lucky to see the Aston Martin safety car in person at a local car show last August - the glossy metallic Aston Martin green is the perfect colour. (I'm also making a quilt that's half Aston Martin colours so I also need them to not radically change their colour scheme so I don't end up with egg on my face).

Alpine: It has to be said that Alpine was very much the biggest disappointment of Livery Watch 2024, and I don't think I'm ever going to fully recover from it. So before I even think about the car's colour scheme I literally just want the car to be painted. Please. I'll even stop wishing for the downfall of Flavio Briatore (okay I probably won't but please just paint the bloody car). To briefly be more serious, the 2025 Alpine overalls feature a lot more pink than in previous seasons - I would like to hope that indicates that there will be more pink on the car. But looking at Alpine's social media over the past few days I think the livery is going to be a mix of French racing blue and the aforementioned BWT pink.

Haas: I can't see Haas going massively off-piste given that MoneyGram are staying on as the team's title sponsor, though I'm interested to see how or if Haas' technical partnership with Toyota will influence the livery in anyway. In terms of fully going off vibes aka looking at the team kit pictures, I do wonder if the livery is doing to feature more red as the Haas team kit for 2025 features some very red sleeves (which, I'm not massively keen on, but I don't think I have it in me to start Team Kit Watch).

Racing Bulls: Am I still riding the high of my shot in the dark wish of the return of the 2017-2019 Toro Rosso drinks can livery? Yes. Yes I am. And I'm massively hoping that Racing Bulls (worth noting they've stopped going by RB, so we thankfully don't have to hear them be called VCARB anymore) are going to carry that livery into 2025 - though hopefully with less red and white Hugo Boss stripes. I didn't enjoy them on the 2024 car and I think it would have looked so much better without them. But the medium metallic blue and silver Red Bull logos? Yes please.

Williams: Having watched the FW47 car launch and seen the 2025 Williams team kit - I feel pretty confident in saying that the livery is going to be some shade of dark blue. The introduction of Atlassian as title sponsor for 2025 could maybe introduce some lighter sky blue accents as the logo on the team kit and overalls is a different colour, and I would definitely welcome a mix of colours - especially if it's executed in a similar way to the 2023 geometric livery. And most importantly, I want to see the continuation of the duracell battery on the air intake above the cockpit please and thank you.

Sauber: Yes I'm still refusing to call them Stake F1 Team Kick Sauber because I still have better things to do with my time, but since 2025 is the second of the two year partnership deal before Sauber morphs into Audi next year - I'm fully expecting the carbon black and neon green combination again. Though hopefully with more green than black.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Jesse Duquette

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

July 11, 2024

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

JUL 12, 2024

Yesterday, Raw Story reported that Ivan Raiklin, Trump’s self-declared “Secretary of Retribution” has compiled a “Deep State target list” of 350 people he wants to see arrested and punished for “treason” if Trump is reelected. The list includes Democratic and Republican elected officials, journalists he considers to be Trump’s enemies, U.S. Capitol Police officers, and witnesses against Trump in his impeachment trials and the hearings concerning the events of January 6, 2021.

Representative Jamie Raskin (D-MD) told Raw Story: “His hit list is a vigilante death warrant for hundreds of Americans and a clear and present danger to the survival of American democracy and freedom.” The Trump campaign did not respond to requests for comment. Raiklin said the list was just the beginning. “This is the scratching of the surface of who is going to be criminalized for their treason, okay?” 

Former president Donald Trump, the presumptive 2024 Republican presidential nominee, has tried to distance himself from the radical extremist blueprint outlined in Project 2025, spearheaded by the Heritage Foundation. Today, videos surfaced of Trump cheering the project on from the start. At a Heritage Foundation dinner in 2022, Trump, slurring his words, said: “Our country is going to hell…. This is a great group and they’re going to lay the groundwork and detail plans for exactly what our movement will do...when the American people give us a colossal mandate to save America. And that’s coming.”

On a right-wing podcast yesterday, Heritage Foundation president Kevin Roberts said that Trump’s agenda and Project 2025 have “tremendous” overlap. “There are some quibbles and differences of opinion here and there, which not only is okay, but it's actually good,” Roberts said. “I mean, we're gonna be able to sort those out once the presidential administration declares what their priorities are.” He said that Trump’s attempt to distance himself from the project was “a political tactical decision.” Media Matters uncovered a video in which Project 2025 director Paul Dans said that Trump is “very bought in with this.” 

The Heritage Foundation, the key author of Project 2025, is a sponsor of the Republican National Convention. 

Today the Heritage Foundation preemptively accused the Biden administration of cheating in the 2024 election and warned that Biden might try to hold the White House “by force.” It said that Biden and his administration could “circumvent constitutional limits and disregard the will of the voters should they demand a new president.” 

There is no indication that Biden, who has repeatedly said he will accept the election results, will try to launch a coup against the United States government. In contrast, Trump, who has refused to say he will accept the election result unless he agrees with it, has already done exactly what Heritage is trying to pin on Biden: Trump tried to stay in office against the will of the voters in 2021. 

Trump is currently under criminal indictment for that attempt, although the Supreme Court’s eye-popping July 1 decision in Trump v. U.S. declaring that a president cannot be prosecuted for crimes committed as part of a president’s “official duties” means Trump can challenge those indictments. Indeed, in the wake of that decision, Trump’s lawyers have filed a motion to vacate the jury’s conviction of Trump on 24 felony counts related to the falsification of business records in his attempt to skew the 2016 election, and to dismiss the indictment. 

While the U.S. and our allies celebrated the seventy-fifth anniversary of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO), Erin Banco of Politico reported yesterday that Trump advisors have told foreign officials that Trump plans to scale back U.S. cooperation and support for NATO, including reducing the sharing of intelligence with NATO countries.

This seems likely to be related to the news that the U.S. intelligence discovered a series of Russian plots to assassinate executives from European defense companies that are supplying arms to Ukraine. Americans took that intelligence to Germany and foiled a Russian plot to kill the chief executive officer of a German arms manufacturer. 

Trump has stayed home playing golf for the past two weeks, but on Tuesday he held a rally at his Doral golf club outside of Miami, where he kept the audience waiting outside in 90-degree heat before he showed up an hour late. His 75-minute speech was, as The Guardian’s Richard Luscombe reported, “full of evidence-free claims that his 2020 election defeat was fraudulent; baseless accusations that overseas nations were sending to the US ‘most of their prisoners’; and a laughable assertion that a gathering of supporters numbering in the hundreds was really a crowd of 45,000.” He also claimed that Biden had quadrupled the price of bacon and said, “We don’t eat bacon any more.” 

Trump did not mention his vice presidential pick. For the first time since 1988, it appears the Republicans will go into their convention without knowing who that pick will be. 

Luscombe reported that the crowd “appeared mostly subdued,” yawning and playing on their phones. 

Today, the editorial board of the Los Angeles Times wrote that Trump is “the only candidate in the race who is patently unfit for office—any office—and an imminent threat to democracy.” “If the [Republicans] had any decency left,” it wrote, they would dump him. Voters, the board said, must see the election as “a referendum on our 248-year democracy, and a choice between a trustworthy public servant who upholds American values and a serial liar who wants to push the country into authoritarianism.”

Almost two weeks after calling for Biden to step out of the 2024 race for the presidency, the editorial board of the New York Times also said that Trump is unfit to lead the United States of America, and urged voters “to see the dangers of a second Trump term clearly and to reject it.”

There was continued good news today about the American economy. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen announced that the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) had collected more than $1 billion in overdue tax bills from millionaires. That crackdown was possible thanks to the Inflation Reduction Act, which funded an initiative to pursue high-income, high-wealth individuals who have an income of more than $1 million and owe more than $250,000 to the IRS. 

Republicans have repeatedly tried to cut the funding that made this enforcement possible. 

Today’s inflation report for June showed that inflation continues to cool, falling in June for the first time since the start of the pandemic. It declined in June by –0.1%, as gas and electricity prices dropped and as rent had its smallest monthly increase since August 2021. Statistics also show that workers’ wages continue to grow more quickly than prices. 

Yesterday, the AFL-CIO executive council voted unanimously to reaffirm its support for President Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris, saying: “Unions have never wavered in our support of them because they’ve never wavered in their commitment to working people.” The Bricklayers & Allied Craftworkers Union quoted that statement and added: “BAC is proud to stand shoulder to shoulder with our brothers and sisters across the labor movement in supporting the Biden-Harris re-election campaign.”

In a press conference this evening, Biden championed the economic boom his policies created for the middle class and reminded attending journalists that “none of you thought that would happen.” 

In that press conference, held after he presided over the three-day NATO summit and thus focused on foreign affairs, Biden answered press questions directly and fully, not only on his health but also on foreign affairs. He reiterated the importance of NATO and reminded reporters that he was key to reinforcing the alliance after Trump weakened it, then went on to talk about foreign affairs more broadly. He also noted that “I’ve spent more time with Xi Jinping than any other president,” adding: “And by the way I handed in my notes.” This was a reference to the fact that in an unprecedented move, Trump infamously refused to disclose the notes from one of his conversations with Russian president Vladimir Putin.

At the same time that Biden was holding a press conference that focused on NATO and foreign affairs, Trump was meeting at Mar-a-Lago with Putin ally Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orbán. On social media this evening, Trump indicated that he is trying to conduct his own foreign policy, although the Logan Act prohibits private citizens from negotiating with foreign governments, and reiterated his support for Putin’s call for “peace” in Ukraine. Their plan calls for giving Putin the western regions of Ukraine that were central to his 2016 support for Trump; Trump’s 2016 campaign manager promised Trump would look the other way as Putin absorbed them. 

Orbán, who has openly called for Trump’s reelection, posted: “Peace mission 5.0[.] It was an honour to visit President [Trump] at Mar-a-Lago today. We discussed ways to make [peace]. The good news of the day: he’s going to solve it!”

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[clockworkvenus]

clockworkvenus: the origin

i was tagged by @baublekute to explain the origin of my tumblr username. it’s an incredibly boring and uninteresting origin but i will try to retell it in a way that makes it sound way cooler and interesting (TLDR at the bottom)

it all started on the 1st of january 2025. i was bored, new year blues were kicking in, and i was idly staring at my steam library looking for something to do. i’d tried house flipper, but it wasn’t really scratching that itch for me, i needed something more, and a cozy little home renovation game wasn’t going to cut it. i needed something to sink its big meaty claws into my skin and fundamentally change me forever, and nothing had done that since i’d finished red dead redemption 2 a few months prior.

i looked up and down at the list of games in my library, and a tiny bright yellow icon caught my eye. cyberpunk 2077. i’d bought it during steam’s *2023* winter sale but somehow never got round to playing it. i didn’t actually know anything about it, other than keanu reeves was in it and it was a complete disaster at launch. one of my favourite game franchises is grand theft auto and so it’s always seemed like it’d be up my street, so i shrugged and thought, fuck it, i’ll play it. i clicked on it, and- ah fuck it needs to fucking install and it’s gonna take fucking hours jesus fucking christ take me back to the PS2 days when you didn’t have to pissing do this-

january 2nd 2025, i came home from work and booted up steam. the futuristic keanu reeves game had finished installing, and so i pressed play. when i say i went in blind, i mean i went in blind, and it was so insanely overwhelming and my tired, worn-off-meds ADHD brain could barely comprehend what the fuck what going on or what the fuck a choom was or why the hell i was suddenly best friends with the guy who’d just tried to kill me or how the hell to get out of megabuilding H10, but i was hooked. line and sinker. the beast of hyperfixation slowly emerged from its slumber, carefully swapping a cowboy hat for a samurai jacket, and it was then, i knew, this would be my entire personality for the foreseeable future.

skip ahead a few days, i’ve just rizzed up meredith stout and she’s invited me to the no-tell motel. i’m rubbing my hands together with a devious grin because this is what i came here for!! i hop in my car and oh my fucking god is that shygirl on the radio???!!! shygirl is in this fucking game??!! holy shit none of you fucking told me that!!! it’s the perfect song for my cruise over to the NTM, and i make sure to time it just right so the song ends right as i walk through the motel room door, where my confident and devious persona is very quickly dropped and i scream and i pause the game because idk i thought we’d have a chat and a cheeky glass of wine or something beforehand i wasn’t expecting her to just be sat there tits out waiting for me jesus christ-

anyway i then exclusively listened to body heat radio just to hear that shygirl song, but unfortunate body heat also plays ponpon shit which, just, makes me want to kill innocent children or something it’s that annoying (no offence us cracks, love u girlies). but it was worth it for the chance to hear SLIME by shygirl - or, as listed in the game - BM by clockwork venus (also special mention to the late great SOPHIE, another fav of mine, who is credited as part of clockwork venus but isn’t actually listed as a featured artist on the IRL song, though she did help produce it)

around the middle of february i’d finished my first playthrough and immediately went to consume ALL of the fan content i possibly could. video essays, fan art, fan fiction, all of it, i needed it injecting straight into my veins. i decided to return to my old friend tumblr, whom i’d abandoned some years ago after they’d gone all ‘uwu no porn anymore pls’. i didn’t want to use my existing account because that was firmly a car blog and i didn’t really want to run a side blog either, i just wanted a pure cyberpunk brainrot blog, and i needed a funky cyberpunk name to go with it. i always thought the name ‘clockwork venus’ sounded so cool and mysterious despite not really making any sense, and thought it’d make a cool username while keeping the cyberpunk link. my blog title is also a line from the song.

about a month later though i found out the music that plays during the quest ‘a cool metal fire’ (when you let johnny take control during chippin’ in) is called ‘smack my chip up’, because the entire quest is a reference to the music video for ‘smack my bitch up’ by the prodigy, another one of my favourites, so then i thought FUCK ‘smackmychipup’ would’ve been such a good blog name too, but now it feels too late to change it lmao

TLDR; i wanted to make a cyberpunk blog and needed a cyberpunk name so i used shygirl’s name from the game because i love her music

—

if you read the full version of that then i applaud you and also apologise because you’ll never get those 3 or so minutes of your life back

since i’m still so new around here i think most people i know have already been tagged in this lmao so apologies if you already have but @chromecore, @postmortemvp, @mirandaputsherbestbuttforward, @totentnz, @medtech-mara - how did you decide on your usernames? 👀

[gunkbaby]

All Of Shuu’s TG Calender Appearances! (In Chronological Order!)

*this was initially just gonna be a twitter thread but I’m posting it here first bc is easier to draft and arrange. :) Wrote the little information cards that are under the pics and will try to image ID them for the text late one.

Under a cut bc there are twenty-four of them! Enjoy! <3

(I believe the image below is from an anime calender? Or something? I’m not sure.)

January 12th - Skiiing Day

On January 12, 1911, Major Lerch of the Austrian Army first taught a young officer in the Niigata Prefecture how to ski. Be careful when doing tricks!

February 6th - Blog Day

Based on bu (2) rogu (6). A blog post from Shuu, it reads: “February 6 Have you heard of a flower called the ‘Hardenbergia’? It is also called a ‘Komachifuji’ and as its name suggests, it blooms with lovely purple petals. And here is the usual Tsukiyama Shuu’s Flower Language Corner. In flower language, a Hardenbergia refers to: “A fateful encounter.” “Happiness will unexpectedly drop in.” …and the like. There’s also “a miraculous miracle”… —But this is what I think. Encounters are always fateful, and reunions are always miraculous. Fate, miracles, our world is filled with such. This moment is also a miracle.” The comments feature Touka being quite rude, Kaneki adding little of importance, and Yomo not understanding technology.

February 13th - Bank Robbery Day

On February 13th, 1866, the first ever successful bank robbery took place in America by Jesse James.

February 25th - Hori Chie’s Birthday

Hori was Tsukiyama Shuu’s classmate in Seinan High School. Hori treats Tsukiyama as her photographic subject and despite Tsukiyama being a ghoul, she doesn’t fear him. Tsukiyama in return finds her intriguing and treats her as a pet. Their relationship continues on until now making them long-time acquaintances. Whether they have a good relationship or not, it’s difficult to say for sure.

March 3rd - Tsukiyama Shuu’s Birthday. (Obviously.)

Happy Birthday, Tsukiyama Shu.

March 26th - Untitled.

No text.

March 31st - Untitled.

The inauguration (to celebrate the completion of the structure) of the Eiffel Tower in Paris was held today. I wonder if Tsukiyama has ever been to France before.

April 28th - Nice Bath Day no. 3

No text.

May 1st - Untitled. Shu’s second blog post.

This blog reads as follows: ‘Hey, everyone. We have now entered May, yes? Speaking of May 1, it is a custom in France to send muguet (Lily of the Valley) as a present to the person you love on this day. And the recipient is said to be visited by great fortune.” Now then, upon hearing the words ‘the person you love’, whose face do you picture in your mind? How about giving flowers as gifts to him?…Or her? …With that said, that beloved person you just thought of may already be a happy person at this point. Shu.’

May 11th - Salvador Dali’s Birthday

The Persistence of Memory. “I saw three soft Shuus. One of them had a deplorable figure that hanged down from the branch of the olive tree.”

May 27th - Hyakunin Isshu Day

No. 86 Saigo Hoshi “Should I blame the moon, for bringing forth this sadness, as if it pictured grief? Lifting up my troubled face, I regard it through my tears.” Grief? Is that what you’re trying to say, moon? I don’t think so. Did I only just want to blame the moon for this sadness?

May 28th - Fireworks Day.

On this day in 1733, fireworks were launched for the first time for a festival in Ryogoku. The festival was first held by the 8th shogun of the Tokugawa shogunate, Yoshimune, in order to calm the spirits of the dead who fell to the great famine and cholera in the previous years. Now, it is held annually as water god festivies to ward off evil spirits. (Note: turn up the brightness or stare very hard for a long time. He is there, I promise.)

June 9th - 6th Ward Day

A huge amount of members were sacrificed during the annihilation of ‘Aogiri’s Hideout’ in the 11th Ward. Afterwards, Kaneki left ‘Anteiku’ in order to follow Rize’s footsteps and entered a new world, the ‘6th Ward’, alongside Tsukiyama and Banjou.

June 25th - Spaceyama.

No text. Shuu gets a cow and a Strange Thing and his father is proud.

July 20th - The Day of the Moon Landing

On 1969, the human race landed for the first time on the moon in the spacecraft, Apollo 11. At that time, Commander Armstrong sent a message to Earth saying, “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”.

August 6th - Handsome Day

Based on ha (8) nsa mu (6).

August 27th -Miyazawa Kenji’s Birthday

A poet and writer of fairy tales who was based in his hometown of Iwate. The paradise of his work was given the name ‘Ihatov’.

In his masterpiece “The Restaurant of Many Orders”, two young men went hunting in the forest, got lost, and strayed into a restaurant called ‘Wildcat House’. The irony of it all is when the two instead became the food.

September 21st - Fashion Show Day

On this day in 1927, the first fashion show in Japan took place in kimono shop called Mitsukoshi in Ginza. At that time, kimonos were mainstream.

September 8th - TG’s 5th Year Anniversary

Serialization strted on Weekly Young Jump No. 41 which was sold on this day in 2011. Thank you very much for reading.

September 9th - Rollcake Day

Based on how the cross section of a rollcake forms a ‘9’. June 6th is also called ‘Rollcake Day’ for a similar reason.

September 16th - Match Day

On this day in 1948, freely selling previously rationed matches was accepted.

October 14th - Glasses No.2

No text.

October 25th - World Pasta Day

On this day in 1995, the World Pasta Congress was held in Italy.

October 26th - Kishimen Day

Kishimen is a slick type of noodle that’s thin and wide in width. Based on tsu (2) ru (6) which means ‘slick’ or ‘slippery’. It is also considered the ‘autumn of appetite’.

December 23rd - Palindrome Day 3

‘Intimidating, Tsukiyama… Will you get burned?’

December 29th - Chanson Day

On this day in 1990, a long-established Chanson cafe in Gonzales called ‘Ginpan’ went out of business. The place was known as a gateway to success for Chanson singers.

Ok I think that’s all :)

Tell me if I have missed one, I will edit. Sorry, am tired from exam prep, hopefully this is okay. I love you so much. I feel like Shuu is always home for me in stressful times.

I’m planning to do one of these for Kanae and Rize too. I can do other characters I guess afterwards.

I own this calender. I think I might like a second one to cut out and make postcards with to go on my Shuu shrine.

[fowlfics]

i don't think this is making it out of my WIPs at this point (considering i started it in like. january. and never added anything LOL) so y'all are getting a treat!

a few drabbles in an AU where Nika is an independent sentient being and shared Luffy's headspace from the moment he ate the gum gum fruit, featuring LawNika (but not LawLu). One (the 3rd) is somewhat NSFW

***

Ace couldn’t just let Akainu get away with insulting his Pops-

“Ace!” Luffy’s voice interrupted his thoughts, the smaller hand wrapping around Ace’s arm in an attempt to stop him, tugging weakly at him. “We need to go!” 

“But he-”

“Whitebeard had been the Strongest Man on the Seas for ageeeeees, he doesn’t need you to protect his honour!” Luffy whined, and something about those words tickled at Ace. “You know who does need your help, though? Your baby brother!”

Ace stopped trying to get away, turning to look at his brother. The smile on his face seemed strained but no less genuine, but now that Ace focused on him, he could see that it was less pulling Ace towards himself and more just his brother trying to keep himself up on his feet. 

“Nika,” he sighed, already knowing he wouldn’t be allowed to attack Akainu. 

“Yep!” The grin widened marginally. “Seriously, though, Luffy passed out and I do not have enough energy to get us back to safety.” 

Scooping his brother up in a princess carry, fuelled by adrenaline and determination alone, Ace ran towards the closest ally ship. 

***

Law made his way up to the deck the very moment the Polar Tang resurfaced, waiting at the railing as they slowly approached the Thousand Sunny. 

“Tooooooooraaaaaaaooooooo!” Came the rapidly-approaching screech as Luffy launched himself towards them, slamming into Law with unerring accuracy. 

“Strawhat-ya,” Law greeted, looking down at the newest appendage, Luffy’s arms winding around him. “And am I going to see my boyfriend today?” 

“Nope! Shishishi,” Luffy giggled. “Just me today!” 

Law couldn’t help the pang of concern. “Is everything-?” 

“Nika’s okay!” Luffy assured quickly. “I just got put in seastone earlier, so he’s still resting!” 

Law just nodded at the news. “Let me guess,” he said. “You want to-”

“PARTY!”

***

Law isn’t sure what, exactly, tipped him off. One moment, he was making his way up Nika’s chest, kissing every inch, and the next-

He pulled away, resting on his elbows above him as he scrutinized his face. 

“...Luffy-ya,” he said eventually. 

Luffy, predictably, laughed. “Torao always notices so fast!” 

Law groaned, rolling himself off of Luffy and throwing an arm over his eyes. 

“If he changed his mind, he could’ve just said so,” he muttered. 

“Oh, Nika still wants to fuck you,” Luffy assured confidently. “He just got too flustered and lost control, that’s all.”

Law dropped his arm, turning to look at Luffy, a smirk slowly appearing on his face. “Yeah?” 

“Yep! Shishishi…”

“Any chance he’s gonna come back out soon?”

“Nope,” Luffy sat up in the bed, scooting towards the edge. “I’m hungry. SANJI! FOOD!”

Law swore, chucking Luffy’s pants at his retreating back. 

“Luffy-ya! Put on your clothes!”

***

Law made his way into the kitchen half-asleep. There were a few people inside already including-

Squinting, Law stalked towards the Strawhat, looking down to stare into his wide eyes, his cheeks stuffed like a chipmunk’s and a half-eaten drumstick in hand. He tilted his head to the left lightly. 

“Morning, Luffy-ya,” Law offered around a yawn, moving towards the coffee. 

“I don’t get how he can always tell,” Usopp complained towards Sanji, Nami and Zoro. 

“It’s easy,” Ace shrugged on the other side of the table, his mouth almost as full as Luffy’s. 

“Shishishi!” Luffy finished the drumstick in a single bite. “Ace, Sabo and Torao are the only ones who always know.”

“I get your brothers, because they grew up with you,” Nami said. “But Torao’s known you for less than most of us! It’s so unfair.” 

“I don’t get how you can’t tell,” Law scoffed, bringing his cup to sit beside Strawhat. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to Nika’s lips. “Morning, sunshine.” 

“See?! There was no change! How are we supposed to tell?” Usopp despaired. 

[akkpipitphattana]

I'm one of the ones who were almost sure they are queer and have queer vibes. And you know what? That still counta. Maybe they are bi or pan. I always thought First as Sand saying the words: 'you're bi mee too' was such a perfect delivery. But I admit these rumors got to me and I can admit it and it's also fine. I've seen the cat lady and I just have to say, if Khaotung is truly dating a girl, she IS the match, like she seems cute, quirky, small bit not too much, (I think) exceptionally pretty face, and they have the same clothing style. Still I won't believe that Khaotung is straight and he never said so. But First...dating an influencer girl. Sadly I've seen a photo of her on twitter in First very distinguishable car (black and red interior), posing in his green emis cap, the one he was wearing when Joong took his signature chin holding pics of them. So I believe she had to post that picture to her story, which is public and she had to post the necklace full on display too, so maybe she's not hiding it that much? As for that anon, she was not only in Paris that time but Milano also when they were in Rome. She was also in Japan around january and Korea a couple weeks ago. So I can believe that's a lot of coincidence but as you said we will never know for sure because confirming a relationship in this industry is a carreer kill. I don't know why this happened now, but I've seen that these rumors have been coming around every few months but never this much. As I said I'm affected but what I'm following them for is their acting and their true bond, which will never change.

i mean yeah i’ve said it before, but khaotung at least has done everything outside of explicitly saying “i’m gay” on record, and while first isn’t quite as “obvious” about it per se, it doesn’t feel like he hides his queerness, either. which, you’re right, doesn’t negate them from possibly having girlfriends because they could be bi or pan or anything along those lines, like i don’t think that’s out of the realm of possibility! i just haven’t found any of the evidence particularly suspicious or compelling like so many people seem to have sjdkskd

which is also partially because like i just don’t really care? so if there’s nothing definitive i won’t really believe it because well. it doesn’t matter to me either way and i’m not gonna go spreading rumors and encouraging this kind of invasive behavior from other fans. it’s okay if it does effect you, just as long as you can take a step back and understand that again, you don’t know these people, but also that no matter what their relationship status is or who they might be dating, the things you enjoy them for haven’t and won’t change because of it.

but it’s also like everything i’ve heard has been really inconsistent tbh lmao. like i’ve had like five or six (maybe) different anons in my inbox talking about this and they all seem to be pretty evenly split on which rumor is more believable. one is clearly not true and just fans reaching, while the other has definitive proof. and no one seems certain about which is which lmao. so it’s just very silly to me.

also like just for the record

milan is about 6 and a half hours from rome, 3 if you’re taking a train. so saying that’s a coincidence is kind of just as silly as saying she was in paris. same with japan and korea, south korea may be a relatively small country but it’s still. a country lmao. them being in the same countries at the same time doesn’t really mean anything.

and i do find the line of logic of “she posted these to her public story, maybe she’s not hiding it as much” to be rather flawed because her instagram being public doesn’t stop it from being invasive of people to be stalking her stories and comparing the jewelry and clothing she wears to first’s and assuming she’s purposefully trying to show off a boyfriend that she doesn’t even post about otherwise? (like no one has mentioned any sort of “soft launch” things you know? like no photos of a faceless guy or hands or explicit mentions of a boyfriend. the closest thing was the flowers, but those don’t even necessarily have to be about a boyfriend and could just be her having gotten flowers herself and wanting to take a picture.) like maybe she just likes that necklace and has the same one as first or has the same cap. and his car might be distinctive but i doubt it’s the only one of it’s kind either. and like i said before even if all of these things are first’s, they could just be friends lmao.

again, i just find the idea of things you have to go digging for being “obvious” or that someone is just “not trying to hide” something to be rather silly lmao.

[ashlingiswriting]

do i know you? chapter eight

[ chapter eight — 6.4k words ] [ masterlist ] [ prev chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven ] "well, now you know what to get me for christmas." richie jerimovich x reader, past mikey berzatto x reader, slow burn warning: drugs, insects

the next day, you wake to your customary darkness. outside your window light snow whispers against your window and thick clouds beyond promise there’s more where that came from. you pull a mini pizza from the freezer, crack an egg on top and put it in the toaster oven, call that protein. boil some water in your smallest pot. pull out your favorite chipped blue mug.

the dream did come last night, but its dread was dulled by early waking. you’re grateful for that. this is about as good as it gets, you think: tea on the way, a thick stillness enveloping your apartment, the city outside preparing to sleep while you keep watch. 

but wait, the phone. 

you go into your room and kneel by the bed.

michael’s small box is half-empty now that you’ve put his shirt in the wash, so the nokia is easy to find. when you flip it open, he’s there, waiting for you—one unread text—and in the sleepy silence, a bubble of incredulous unreality balloons and then bursts. it’s not michael.

they all blur into each other like drops of blood in water: you’re crushed to find that he’s still gone, relieved he’s still gone, guilty you were relieved, relieved that richie’s texted—no, happy—no, that’s embarrassing, but you can’t help it. it’s happiness and it’s something else. happiness is the warmth by your side and something else is the radiator.

the message turns out to be a single emoji, the one with the pink tongue sticking out. definitely richie. with no idea what that’s supposed to mean, you try to think of something equally silly. failing that, you pull up wikipedia on the phone and generate random wikipedia articles until you finally come across a fragment that strikes you as too beautiful to pass up. you weren’t looking for beautiful, but what the hell, it’s charmed you. copy, paste, and send.

> it was announced on january 30, 2023, that she will be writing an original poem dedicated to nasa's europa clipper. the europa clipper will launch in 2024, and by 2030, will be orbiting jupiter. limón's poem will be engraved into the craft.

not expecting an immediate reply, you replace the lid on the box and slide it back under your bed, only to hear the vibration of the phone against the wooden floorboards.

reading what he’s written makes you smile. proper punctuation and all, mimicking you. can’t tell if it’s meant to be snide or if he’s just matching what he thinks is your mood. you’ll take it either way.

> must be a bad motherfucker, that limon.

> must be.

> is she your favorite poet or something?

you feel a dissonant twinge of pride and shame. you once had a favorite poet, but that was a long time ago.

> i haven’t decided yet. are you getting better?

> i haven’t decided yet. i had three grape popsicles in bed for my breakfast, it’s kind of hard to argue with that.

> malingerer.

> i’m actually polish.

and so on. 

when he finally says goodbye so he can go back to sleep, you’re still laughing a little to yourself, and you’ve been kneeling there beside the bed for so long that your knees ache.

.

.

.

in the days that follow, richie texts you at exactly the time he’d usually visit. you stand outside like he’s still there, have a couple cigarettes, and enjoy the nonsense even as your fingertips go numb in the cold. once, he sends a picture of a meme so italian that you don’t get it. you obviously weren’t meant to get it, either, so you respond by sending him the middle finger emoji, which he, nonsensically, hearts.

if he needs help, he’ll ask for it, you think. you hope. he seems to be on the mend. anyways, you no longer feel that fear except in dreams, and you stop wondering when he’s gonna text and start expecting it, and then, less than a week later, he shows up. you know this because he texts, where are you?

you open the window and stick your head out into an eddy of snow. sure, you’re glad to see him, but: it’s too fucking cold for this!

he waves.

man was feverish for literally days and here he is in mid december with a hoodie under his leather coat but no scarf, absolute idiot, and so you close the window, go down to meet him, and break the rule. standing there, holding the door open, you say, c’mon. 

he’s surprisingly perceptive. he walks over, but he doesn’t cross the threshold, just pauses in front of you.

i don’t think we can smoke in there, he says.

we can’t, you say, moving back one more step, making even more room for him. or at least i can’t. i don't want to get evicted. my landlady will do it too.

yeah? he says, not moving. you're scared of her?

you shrug. you've moved back as far as you can, you're letting all the cold air in, and there's nothing you can do except say please.

you say, she's like four foot tall and a hundred years old, man. women that tiny that survive that long? you should be scared of them.

as if that was the final straw—though how could it be?—richie walks inside. without skipping a beat and for no reason you can figure out, richie walks inside.

learn my ways, sweetheart, he says, touching his chest and giving you his very best look of ridiculous condescension. old women love me.

as you close the door behind him, you fend off a stray, ridiculous burst of giddiness. it's just the lobby, pale linoleum floors and a single artificial plant by the elevators, but it feels radically different from the concrete outside. no cigarettes, no excuses. he’s only there for one reason.

old women do not love you, you say.

they do!

tina loves you. the rest of them, i don't know.

he snorts. you really don't want to be standing face to face with him for however long you’ve got him, so you lean on the wall instead, and he settles by your side the same way he always does.

when he looks over at you, there’s a hint of sly mischief in his eyes that makes you say, what?

wait for it, he says, and when you open your mouth, he holds up a finger.

you roll your eyes, but you hold your tongue with no idea what this is about, undisguised curiosity, and a readiness to be delighted.

you hear that? he finally says.

wind, maybe, or the distant rattle of a train? nothing special. you shake your head no.

that, richie says, is the sound of the sky not falling. 

knowing he noticed, that’s the worst thing about being told that everything is gonna be okay. it’s also the best thing. you shove him with a bony, solid elbow. i should’ve let you freeze.

he catches himself before he can topple, his smile gone goofy and so pleased. fuckin drama queen.

full han solo style, block of ice.

it was carbonite, not ice. how do you not know star wars?

course i know star wars, you lie. how do you live in chicago and not own a hat?

i have hats. i just also have a car.

uh-huh. if he wants to trade accusations, you’ve got a doozy you’ve saved up till you could turn it on him in person.  i noticed the other day that your place isn’t exactly in a location that makes my place ‘on the way home’ from the beef. 

he’s caught, not sorry. grins. you noticed that, did you.

yeah, i might not be from around here, but i still know north from south, all that shit. 

well okay, sherlock. you wanna charge me with a crime? the challenge in his eyes says it all; he knows you’re not unhappy to find he lied. 

you still need to get a hat, you say.

well, now you know what to get me for christmas.

you’re getting jack shit.

you already know what you’re getting him for christmas. 

.

.

.

kraft’s mac and cheese is a christmas tradition in a two-person slice of your family, and you’re one half of that slice, so mac and cheese is the first thing you think of when richie tells you he’ll be there for christmas eve. 

after that, it’s on to donna’s on christmas day. then i’m gonna kidnap carmy for some ice fishing, he says.

you ever been ice fishing before? you say. 

he splutters. do i not strike you as a, uh, an experienced-ass f—

no.

—fisherman and woodsman, and like—

nope.

—man of the… he gives up. whatever?

do you have a float suit? 

richie exhales smoke and fixes you with a look, annoyed but curious.

i’m carmen fucking sandiego, you say, by way of explanation. of course you’ve been ice fishing, you’ve been all over the world.  

sure you are, he says. he waves a dismissive hand. my buddy’s got all the stuff, we’ll be fine. it’s whatever, i just gotta get carmy out of the city so the only things he ends up killing are fish.

his first christmas since. you don’t have to finish the sentence.

yup, richie says.

it’s richie’s first christmas since, too, but there’s no call to say that. 

lapsing into a companionable silence and shrinking a little closer to the building as the wind picks up, you decide that you’re definitely gonna make him kraft mac and cheese for christmas eve. he wouldn’t take it as a letdown, he'd laugh at the single spinach leaf on top. he’d get it.

.

.

.

on christmas eve, ten minutes before you’re expecting richie to show up, you get a text message.

> need u 

it’s the wrong phone, though. it’s your work phone, and after everything those fuckers have done, they can’t possibly be calling you in on christmas eve. not now. your butter’s already cut, your colander’s in the sink, and you’re stirring the pot of boiling macaroni with a couple takeout chopsticks. they can’t—

the phone starts ringing. you pick up. 

fuck off, you say.

no wait! 

the voice is familiar; it’s kevin, a man so stupid that he once introduced himself to you out of anxious friendliness even though you’ve always made very clear that you don’t want to know anybody’s names. kevin must have you on speakerphone, because in the background, you can hear the telltale sounds of somebody else cursing in a continuous wretched stream. that piques your curiosity.

thirty seconds, you say. keep it clean. meaning, don’t give me names. 

kevin says, we were doing a thing and some stuff happened. 

that’s no use. he kept it a little too clean. you sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose between two fingers. you were doing a thing on christmas eve?

we thought…look, can you just come? aren’t you on call? isn’t this your job?

you tell me, you say. it’s been radio silence on my phone for three weeks and i haven’t gotten paid for almost a month now. 

oh.

yeah, you say, knowing damn well that it’s not kevin’s fault, but more than happy to take this out on somebody. they fucking ghosted me.

sorry to hear that, man, he says awkwardly. 

a thought occurs to you. likelihood of the carusos being involved in some shitbrained christmas eve scheme pulled by kevin? nil.

was this even a sanctioned thing? you say. like, did—

you know what, it’s fine, kevin says hurriedly. it’s basically a flesh wound.

the guy in the background howls, i got shot in the fucking foot!

shut up, howie, kevin hisses. you hang up.

there’s no reason for you to get involved. no orders, no blackmail, and probably no money; plus, your timer is counting down the last minute of macaroni boiling and richie will be on his way soon. 

you pocket your phone, walk back to the stove, and resume stirring. 

no reason for you to get involved. your timer rings out, so you dump out the pasta, put it back in the pot with the butter, add some water and the cheesy powder, stir with an eye for sauce thickness, wait for it to settle you. it doesn’t.

the thing is, there are so many small tricky bones in the foot, and you haven’t had a real surgery challenge in ages. ever since your bosses ghosted you, you’ve just been staying in your apartment, in limbo, seeing nobody except richie and occasionally a cashier. sleeping and waking neither on your old strict schedule nor on a normal daylight one. doing nothing, worth basically nothing. 

so yeah, you text kevin.

> send me the address

then, as quick as you can so you don’t have time to overthink it, you text richie. 

> work emergency, i have to cancel. sorry. 

the response is immediate.

> text me when you get home.

you realize that you’re still stirring, and you turn off the stove. although you give him a couple minutes, richie doesn’t add anything. no joke to put spikes on the soft gesture, no expression of disappointment to make you feel guilty for canceling this late. nothing. text me when you get home, that’s all.

if you were that generous, you’d text back don’t stay up, let him get some extra sleep in preparation for tomorrow’s christmas hell. but you don’t. you want to think of him waiting for his phone to chime, staying awake for you, thinking of you, even worrying. so you react with a thumbs up to his message.

the next time your phone goes ping, it’s kevin sending you the address, and you head for the door. 

.

.

.

you’re sitting on a coffee table beside the old sofa that holds your resting patient. lying on the coffee table beside you are half a dozen grape skittles, the remainder of your christmas eve meal. there’s literally baggies of cocaine sitting on the kitchen table, the tv is playing charlie and the chocolate factory, and everyone involved in this—including yourself—is so stupid that you’re all definitely going to jail. but you’re having one of your good nights.

only drugs compare to the state of pure focus that surgery grants you, and even though it’s always in shit circumstances done for shit people, you can’t help but feel like a serious machine doing all this ad hoc emergency shit. this has to be how athletes feel, after a game. it’s physical: your vision feels clearer, your hands are steady, your body’s slouched comfortable and sated. it was decent work you did, given the lack of fucking everything. you’re pretty sure howie won’t even have that bad of a limp. 

kevin finishes counting your pay and hands it over. you begin to count it again, too—twenty, forty, sixty—and then look up at him. 

what? he says.

you haul yourself up and walk over to the kitchen table, ignoring the cocaine in favor of the scale, on which you place a twenty. it comes up as 0.94 grams when it should be a single 1.0. so you throw your earnings in the sink, get out your lighter, and set it on fire.

the fire alarm! kevin rushes over to turn the tap on and put it out.

you can hear howie calling from the couch, what’s burning? 

kev just tried to cheat me. 

i did not, kevin says miserably, it was a misunderstanding. 

he pulls his own wallet out of his back pocket and starts to count the money, but you take it from his hands, sit at the kitchen table, and begin counting money yourself, weighing each bill as you go. once you’ve taken a hundred and fifty, you stand up and call over to howie, night.

yo, howie says. is my, like. what are the chances they gotta amputate?

that gets you a little, despite everything. howie spent the past few hours thinking he was gonna lose an entire foot, and he was stubbornly proud enough that he almost made it without admitting the fear to anyone. in a way, you gotta give it to him. admiration’s too grand a word, but it’s something like that. 

chances are super low, you say. as long as you follow instructions, keep an eye out for infection, and don’t get hooked on pills, you’re gonna be fine. 

for a second, there’s silence. then: thanks, babygirl.

for that, you take another forty dollars from kevin’s wallet and point them at him. asshole tax, you say.

as soon as you’re out of the house, you can hear kevin locking the door behind you. then he says, goodnight!

i shoulda robbed you, you say. then you start down the sidewalk. it’s bitter cold and you’re not a hundred percent sure you’re headed in the right direction, but just then you feel invincible. 

fuckin jagoffs, say to yourself.

.

.

.

on the train home, the peace and quiet is interrupted by a herd of college girls, twentysomethings all decked out in tinsel necklaces, clearly on their way to a different party, and hitting all the wrong notes in deck the halls.

most days, you’d hate this, but in your current state of satisfaction with yourself and the world in general, their effortless enjoyment doesn’t seem to completely shut you out. they’re so young, and one of them is sitting in another’s lap while a third drapes herself over her shoulder. they smell like spiced rum, they make it hard to be a bitter old crone.

one of the carolers makes direct eye contact with you, and instead of having the decency to keep herself to herself, she extends her hand to you and sings even louder, fa-la-la-la-ing like she’s god’s gift. for a second, you let yourself mouth along, fa-la-la-ing, but then she says, come on, i know you can do better than that! and nope, nope. fuck it.

you try to look away, she yells another, come on! and you give her the death glare. surprisingly, she keeps beckoning to you—they’re stubborn, kids these days—but eventually you win the way you knew you would.

she looks away and whispers in the ear of the lap-sitter. that girl, the tiniest of them all, gives you a look that could sear meat. you could break her in half with one hand tied behind her back, she really has the build of a hummingbird, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping her.

you roll your eyes, lean back with exaggerated deliberation, and get out your phone. 

> i’m home.

you want somebody of your own, you want richie’s reply. but none comes. 

he’s not waiting for you outside your apartment building, either, so there goes that mad hope.

.

.

.

when you get inside your apartment, you kneel to untie your boots and spot a flicker of movement on the floor. it’s a black ant scurrying towards your countertop. with a rising sense of horror, you straighten up and see a swarm of ants, dozens and dozens, maybe a hundred busily moving little black dots, crawling to and from the pot of macaroni and cheese on your stove. your stomach turns, and if you’d had a real dinner, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from throwing it up. as it is, you just gag. it feels like a violation, an invasion, and you’re more outraged about these fucking ants in your apartment—your fucking apartment—than you ever were about getting not paid or cheated or maybe even blackmailed. 

you go into the kitchenette and get the ant spray out from under the sink, then you stand back and spray everything in sight. the whole fucking counter, even though, yes, you cook your food on that, and the stove, and the floor for good measure. fuck them all. 

you should’ve known better than to leave food uncovered in this apartment. you’ve lived here for three years and this always fucking happens. you’d think the novelty would’ve worn off, but nope. it’s still as disgusting as it was the first time you woke up to see last night’s plate covered in black.

today, the spray isn’t working fast enough for you, so you get out a trash bag, put the pot in it, and head out for the dumpster. 

out there in the cold, waiting for the ant spray to do its work inside the trash bag, you remember that you left your lighter in kevin’s house. you tip your head back and look up at the sky. it’s so thickly smothered in clouds, there’s barely a glow of moon. 

yeah, you say. 

after a while, you untie the bag, shake the dead ants off your pot, and throw the bag away. you’d stomp on the ants for spite, but that would necessitate looking at them, and you’ve had more than enough of that. you just head back for home.

you almost make it to the front door, and then you smell it, the smoke.

well? richie says from around the corner. he must have heard your footsteps. you coming or what? 

you walk the last few steps and there, just around the corner, there he is. he has the navy hood pulled up over his head, both his hands shoved deep in his pockets, a cigarette between both lips. he looks at your pot with interest. 

after a second, you say, you’re late.

something tickles the inside of your wrist and you flinch. one last ant has crawled up the handle of the pot and onto your arm; you drop the pot in the snow and shake the ant off you. it lands by richie, and he stomps it dead matter-of-factly. 

it takes everything you’ve got not to start swearing like howie with a shot foot.

merry christmas? richie says after a second. 

merry fuckin christmas. you reach out and take the cigarette from his lips. long drag. you needed that. 

settling beside him so both of you can look out into the night, you hand the cigarette back. and that’s how it is for a while, sharing. the wind thins out, the streetlight across the way reflects in the glass of another apartment building's door.

when your body’s finally calmed down, you look over at him. i got you something.

aw, you didn’t have to, he say, a little curious and not particularly surprised. he probably thinks it’s a joke. 

you hold your right hand palm up, and he takes his right hand out of its warm jacket pocket to mirror the gesture. then you reach into your hoodie and unclasp his gift from your neck. 

the chain is gold. thick, but not so thick that it comes across comical. incongruous with you and with him, the weight of it and the shine, how new it is. when you lay it in his hand, it looks like a golden snake, intricate and flawless. 

after a second, he gives you his cigarette like he can’t both smoke and think about it. then he speaks. 

this is fake, yeah, he says.

hundred percent fake. 

actually, it’s regifted. it was originally one of your boss’s christmas bonus gifts, and given that you pawned all the other christmas bonus gifts to pay rent, you’re pretty sure that the chain is solid gold. it’s for the best that he doesn’t know it, though.

as you watch, he puts it on, fumbling a little with the clasp. looks at it for a second, tucks it back inside his coat. there goes the last 

yeah? you say, after a second. 

yeah. think i like this sugar baby shit. keep ‘em coming, he says. 

you laugh, real, so relieved that he didn’t take it weird, so relieved that you got lucky tonight and he got it the way he sometimes can, acceptance without explanation.

he lets you laugh, and then he says, mine’s better, though.

diamonds?

it’s back at my place, he says. i can drive?

you want that so bad, and you didn't even think to want it just seconds before.

yeah, you say, dropping the cigarette and stomping it out right beside the dead ant, unbothered. 

you want to take the pot up? 

you shrug, crouch down, and cover it with some snow; you’re not gonna leave him down here waiting for you, and you’re not gonna take him up to the horrorshow of dead ants either.

it’s still pretty obvious, richie says.

it’s christmas eve, who’s gonna bother digging in dirty snow to steal a pot?

this is chicago.

this is idle argument as companionship and you know that, but you're impatient. are you taking me home or what? yes, you can hear the double entendre. no, you don't fucking care.

there’s a slight pause before richie says, car’s this way.

.

.

.

in the car, there’s crumbs but not much mess; a coupon for personal pizzas in the cupholder, and that’s it. he must have cleaned.

when he starts the engine, you say, wait, and make an elaborate show of putting on your seatbelt. then you say, okay, now i’m ready.

fuck you, he says, and he’s still smiling when he starts to drive. 

the radio is playing carols dimly in the background, and you don’t hate it. 

you doing anything for christmas day? richie says. 

i’m working christmas, you lie.

seriously? tell your boss he’s fucking barbaric.

would if you could; you’ve already tried to say as much in your many texts, but it is what it is.

yeah, you say. bunch of fuckin jackoffs, right?

jagoffs, he says, over-enunciating, frustration immediate. he really is too easy and he knows it. you’re—

jackoffs, that’s what i said, that’s what you told me—

if you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all. he has to drive with his right hand so he can make chopping motions for emphasis with his left hand, because of course he does.

you say, jackoffs.

you’re killing me. 

and yet you go on surviving. you relent. got everything you need for ice fishing?

richie scoffs in disgust. yeah, but now carmy is trying to bail on me. 

if he’s not gonna say, typical, then neither are you.

he wants to work on the twenty-sixth, he says.

oof.

yeah. like a full planning session, go over the rest of the rollout schedule with the entire staff and like… he rubs his forehead. i don’t know. like we haven’t even gone to christmas yet and he’s already, fucking. i don’t know!

i mean.

he glances over at you briefly.

carmy wants to make the staff come in on the twenty-sixth just to go over the renovation schedule again?

he’s out of his fucking mind.

you already know what you want to say, but you have to double-check it in your own head to make sure you’re not overstepping. you don’t actually know these people.

but also, fuck it. 

you know, you say, you could tell him if he acts like this, syd’s gonna quit again.

he whistles. julie with the big guns.

how i’m built, you say.

yeah, i noticed, he says affectionately. it’s okay. i’ll figure it out.

i know you will. it’s kindness, and you mean it, and you don’t take it back. 

thanks, he says. 

you lean your forehead against the cold glass of the car door and watch chicago going by, all gold and black and white.

.

.

.

after a few minutes, he parks the car in an underground garage. 

you ready for this? this is gonna rock your world, he says. 

diamonds and rubies? you say, unbuckling your seat belt.

you’re gonna be fuckin crying.

diamonds and rubies and pearls?

.

.

.

at the door to his apartment, he says, close your eyes, hold out your hands, and wait here, so you do. when the door opens, you can smell whatever it was he made for his christmas eve dinner with eva. it smells like everything christmas eve should be, rich and homey. you could wait here for, say, half an hour. you could stretch this moment out. you wouldn’t mind.

okay, richie says. here.

when the gift touches your palm, you instinctively pull back. richie swears and catches it. 

it’s hot! you say as you open your eyes.

it’s soup, he says. you want it cold?

you look down. yeah, that’s definitely french onion soup, with a big white and brown patch of melted cheese and toast on top. it’s an echo of what you made him when he was sick. it’s him showing off his work in comparison to your two-ingredient version. it’s unfortunately perfect. there’s no way he knew that you haven’t had anything for dinner except skittles.

it smells like home.

here. you hand the bowl back to richie, but only so you can take off your coat and your shoes. 

there’s only one hook on the back of his door, so you hang your coat overtop his. as you move through his apartment, you take stock: the walls are still orange, but things are a little tidier and there are new drawings magnet-pinned to the fridge. eva’s going through a cat era, clearly. the kitchen lamp is as warm as before, and the cactus by the window has a small red ribbon on it, probably a nod to christmas. 

you sit down at the kitchen table on one of the foldable stools, and richie sets your spoon and bowl in front of you. there’s a half-empty bottle of coors on the countertop behind you, and you take a sip of that. he sits down on the chair to your left, so he’s in your peripheral. he’s next to you.

you can feel it coming.

um, you say.

he glances over, and you can feel that too. what’s up.

don’t be a dick, okay. you say it very low and very flat, not even angry, because angry wouldn’t cut it.

the pause is too long, but at least he finally says, okay.

you pick up your spoon and take the first sip. 

the bit of melted cheese hits first, warm and gooey and salty then the sweet savory richness of the broth, and yeah, okay. it’s happening. your eyes are wet.

you can feel him not saying anything about it, but before it can build up to torture, his phone rings. 

sorry, he says, getting up. it’s tiff.

he must know from the ringtone alone, but you’re not even mad at it, you’re relieved. saved by the bell, another bit of good luck. maybe christmas is real.

uh-huh, you can hear him saying. yeah. that’s— he laughs, and you know from that laugh alone it’s something about eva. yeah, put her on. a beat, then. hey, honey. no. no, she’s right. listen, santa won’t come if you spy on him. the guy likes his privacy, okay? he’s not in it for the applause, he’s not in it for the publicity. pause. well, that’s what the cookies are for. i am being serious, that’s what they’re for. okay. who—okay. he snorts. okay, you got me. don’t tell your mother, though, okay? she really enjoys it. pause. it’s up to you. okay, i gotta go. i love you. hey. i love you. 

that’s more than enough time for you to wipe your eyes on your sleeve, get all fucked up again listening to him, and wipe your eyes a second time. by the time richie sits back down, you’re basically normal.

that sounded like some saga, you say.

this jewish kid at school told all the christians that santa wasn’t real, he explains. and now she’s going around busting all the lying adults one by one. 

you laugh. 

they’re starting young, he says. when i was in school, they always used to make us wait until at least sixth grade before we could go around busting myths.

you’re jewish?

he shrugs. kinda sorta.

you see the opportunity to make another joke about him being zero percent italian, and you ignore it. did eva like the doll? you say instead. 

yeah. i mean, it was a huge hassle, it’s so expensive i had to go halves with tiff, and i nearly had a heart attack when eva said something about kirsten cause i thought i’d got the wrong one— he starts eating again, eating soup and talking, and you don't hate it. which by the way, swedes? have the most boring american history of them all, i don’t know why they’d make a doll about that, but anyways, yeah. she loved it. he reaches across you and takes his beer back so he can drink the last dregs of it. ever since the divorce, we don’t even call it christmas eve, we just call it christmas one and christmas two. as is tradition.

he says the last three words kind of weird. 

as is tradition? you repeat.

tiff and i, we don’t have a bunch of traditions from our parents, so it’s like. we make up a lot of stuff and then we say ‘as is tradition.’ cause it’s not.

i mean, you got two generations involved, so that counts.

eh, he says, drawing it out dubiously. 

i got two-generations traditions, you say.

you didn’t intend to talk about your family, you weren’t thinking about that at all, you were just thinking about richie. but now you gotta sit in the silence as he decides whether or not follow up about your parents.

finally, richie says, you got a kid? he’s doing his best to be cool about it, but his voice goes up a little crazy on the last word.

no, i mean—you’re laughing. i meant me and my dad.

oh, he says, maybe a bit relieved, definitely a bit something, you can’t quite place it. oh.

i used to make us mac and cheese for christmas. with a leaf on top, like lettuce or spinach or something. cause, you know, that makes it salad.

that’s cool, he says flatly. after a second, he adds, less flat, i don’t have any traditions with my dad. i mean, he’s dead, but like before then, we never. so i think that’s cool. 

you hate his dad. it’s a split-second decision, but you feel pretty confident about it.

two generations is all you need, you say. and you got eva. so it’s a tradition. 

heard, he says.

when you glance over, you see the chain catching the light, gold over his dark shirt. he looks at you. you both keep eating.

.

.

.

eventually, you finish off two bowls of soup and a hot chocolate too, courtesy of eva’s swiss miss unicorn package. you feel a bit subdued by the ordeal of being human, but relaxed. 

best christmas ever, you say.

really? richie says, like he believes it and feels bad for you.

god no, do you think i came out a dickens?

what the fuck is a dickens?

you’re illiterate, it’s okay. you look at him. you know that your eyes are a little red, but thankfully you can also see, reflected in his eyes, that he knows you're all right.

thank you, richie, you say. it’s all wrong, you shouldn’t be saying his name and you shouldn’t be saying thank you either, it’s thanks or nothing, but something about the formality feels a little heavier and therefore suited to the day. it’s getting late.

i’ll drive you? he says, and there’s a little extra question in it that you can’t bring yourself to consider. 

you shake your head and get up from the table heavily, feeling a thousand years old. i’m good. 

he gets up, follows you, stands there with his hands in shoved his pockets as you crouch to put on your shoes.

i wasn’t suggesting a sleepover, he says. 

no, of course not, you say, and you congratulate yourself on not making it sound bitter.

unless, richie says.

you look up at him. 

i have so many condoms, he says, deadpan. just. so fucking many. some of them are citrus flavored.

there he goes, saved it.

it’s not just tonight, is it? it’s not just tonight, it’s not just luck, it’s not just christmas; somehow, richie’s become…he’s figured it out, how to be with you. when to show up and when to let you go. not always, but more than enough, and he just. he wakes up and he struggles and he breaks shit and he irritates you and he calls eva and he watches youtube and he goes to bed and he wakes up and he struggles and he learns and you love him.

what a fucking time to find out. you look down and begin tying your shoes again.

you got pineapple flavor? you say.

in what world is pineapple citrus? richie says.

well, tough luck. you back up and turn around to put on your coat. for me, it’s pineapple condoms or nothing.

you’re a real high-maintenance fuck.

you laugh. michael used to like that about you, just how easy you were, or how easy you made yourself. buddy, you got no idea. 

it’s been such a long day for both of you, apart and together. of course you’re getting messy, of course it’s time to go. you zip up your coat, run your hand through your hair. 

let me drive you, he says again.

you wave him off. no, i need to walk. clear my head.

it’s december in chicago, fuckin pitch black— 

i’ll be fine.

it’s christmas eve, are you really gonna punish me for a fucking joke? he says, and you look up, startled; you didn’t know he was upset. in retrospect, you were just focusing on avoiding his eyes, so what did you expect?

i’m not punishing you for anything, you were great. richie. you look at him straight on and steady, so he understands. a little gentle, as gentle as you feel you can get away with. you truly have to go, and there’s no resentment in it. i just need to clear my head. i’ll be fine, i’m always fine. 

you never… richie trails off, eyes you, decides against finishing the sentence. you’re stubborn.

always. you give him a small smile. thanks for the soup.

goodnight.

that should be the end, but it feels unfinished. his blue eyes are alive to the possibilities when you reach out, but you just touch the chain with a fingertip where it rests over his collarbone. his right hand moves a little and you draw back, your other hand on the doorknob at once, already leaving.

.

.

.

two days later, the cops issue a warrant for your arrest. 

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[ next chapter ] [ masterlist ]

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@garbinge, @narcolini, @drabbles-mc, @beingalive1, @eternallyvenus, @cerial-junkie, @jackierose902109, @shinebright2000, @scorpiolystoned — if anyone else wants to be tagged, let me know.

[whysamwhy123]

Huh. The first OrangeHook fic I wrote now has the most hits out of anything I've written in the last two years. Weird.

I guess you never really know which fics are gonna take off. But still, this is hard for me to wrap my head around. I figured nothing would ever overtake the previous top dog, since that was for a very popular pairing (at the time) and also I wrote it as part of a fandom event, so naturally it was gonna have a few more eyeballs on it than usual. For a rarepair fic, of a pairing that's almost completely dead (the 'almost' being there due to the tireless work of my good buddy Dah, single-handedly keeping the OrangeHook train a-rollin' in 2024 *blows a kiss*) to overtake that, and still be getting traction here and there after over a year, is kinda nuts.

I have a weird relationship with that fic, in general. When I posted it, I really wasn't happy with it. It has Problems, LOL. The more time that passes though, I've kinda warmed to it more and more. It still has those Problems, for sure, but it came together pretty good in the end, I think? Probably some of my best dialogue, at least. That fic was only supposed to be two scenes - the opening scene with Best Friends, and the Awkward Hotel Room Seduction Scene - but it kinda ballooned as I was writing it, and I kept adding more and more. I don't think I realised at the time that OrangeHook was gonna become My Pairing for a good while. But it certainly did.

I'm in a...weird place, at the moment, regarding writing. Well. I don't know if I'm even qualified to say that, because the short version is - I ain't writing no' mo'. Haven't finished a fic, or even written more than a couple words, in over two months. Considering I was averaging one fic a month since January 2023, that's a downgrade for sure. This definitely isn't one of my usual writing slumps. I have Ideas (Such Ideas!) but zero motivation to write any of them. This isn't fandom's fault, to be clear. I do feel very out-of-touch and like the fandom's passed me by, but that's just because I don't watch AEW anymore because *almost falls back into old habits and launches into one of my annoying hater rants that I used to do all the goddamn time before I realised how lame that was and made myself act my age for once* reasons, and so I'm not particularly interested/invested in any of the popular pairings these days. The only pairings I do care about are ones like OrangeHook - microscopically small rarepairs where it's literally just me and one other person, and that's it. As much as I adore those folks (Gato <3 Dah <3), it's hard to find motivation when you know there's no audience waiting for you. Makes you feel like there's no point, y'know? Doesn't help that all of my ideas these days are goofy, self-indulgent AUs or bizarre crackfics. Even if I could put pen to paper, so to speak, I wouldn't exactly be giving the people what they want, LOL.

After I failed to get my Halloween fic done (it was, predictably, a goofy, self-indulgent OrangeHook AU about Jim falling under the sway of Hook, who's an incubus. Y'all are welcome that I didn't put that out into the world, LOL), I kinda figured that I might be done with writing again. Before January of last year, I hadn't written a word in years. I gave up on writing after some Bad Stuff happened. It felt like a gift to be able to do it again, after so much time. Kinda sucks to think I might be back to just Not Being Able To Do It At All again. Kinda really sucks.

There is this one idea. I've had it rattling around in my brain for a long time. It actually started as a Hookhausen fic (remember them? Where does the time go?), but I ended up adapting it to be OrangeHook over time. I have a lot of scattered ideas for scenes, bits of dialogue, and a pretty strong sense of what The Point would be. I did toy with the idea of starting it a while back (or at least trying to) and making it my swansong for the fandom/my writing in general. One last self-indulgent rarepair fic that no one cares about, and then I could peace out. To draw a line under things, y'know? Tie a little bow on this whole writing experiment of mine and then move on to...I don't know. Something else. Nothing? *shrugs* But that fic would be a big undertaking, at least for me. Would probably take a long time. A lot of work. And I ain't exactly drowning in free time. Plus, the aforementioned not-having-written-a-word-in-ages thing. I don't know.

We'll see, I guess.

If you read all of this, first of all - I am so very sorry, LOL. Second, thank you. If you're someone who's read anything I've put out there in the last two years, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. There's been...a lot of ups and downs, but overall, I'm really glad that I was able to get back into this, even if it didn't last too long. I'm pretty proud of a lot of the fics I managed to write, and while I know I was never the most popular girl in school, I hope that some of my silly stories entertained you. Made you laugh, or distracted you from the awfulness of reality for a spell. God knows, that's what all of your fics, and this fandom in general, did for me. Y'all are so nice. Creative, supportive, funny. It's kinda comforting, knowing that the fandom is still going strong. You kids have fun! Maybe this is goodbye, or maybe I'll channel that wrestler mentality and have 'One more match!' and then I'll retire. Who knows? But regardless, I'm glad I got to do this. No regrets. Well, maybe some, LOL. But for the most part...yeah. Shit was fun, yo. I did the damn thing.

OK, I'll shut up now, I promise *awkwardly finger guns my way out of the room*

[numinously-yours]

What to leave behind and what to bring into the new month

Happy last week of January! Pick a group for insights on what you should leave behind as the month ends and what you can focus on in the new month ahead. Let me know if you have any topics you'd like me to pull for!

My dear pile one,

It is time to let go of your need to do everything on your own. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or weighed down by your responsibilities – or what you think is your responsibility – try remembering that you’re not alone and there are people here to help carry the load. Allow others to help, even in small ways.

Personal growth and development may be a great focus point for you in the upcoming month. The Magician brings forth the tools and energy you need to make progress in this personal journey. Focus on your “why” and look inward at your power. This period of growth will last you throughout (and beyond) the month, so don’t get hard on yourself if you don’t see immediate results. Growth is not linear.

Hello lovely twos,

Rather than the Tower representing a destruction that has already happened/is currently happening, I think you’re being told to leave January with a bang (semi-literally), and create the destruction of your self-limiting beliefs. Light up some sticks of dynamite, rev up the bulldozer, or get that wrecking ball swinging cause we’re not going into the new month with any of our same thoughts. Your self-limiting beliefs have felt like a chaos storm in your brain, and this is your permission to let them go.

February is a month of self-exploration. It is a month to figure out why these self-limiting beliefs exist. This may be a good time to do some shadow work. Shadow work is tough, but I think some good realizations can come out of it. Here are some shadow work prompts if you’re ready to get started. You may find truths you didn’t know existed. Or you may find yourself answering just as you’d expect, but this time… it’s gonna hit different. You’re going to find answers for yourself which will put a lot into perspective and really help with letting go of your self-doubt.

For those who aren’t ready to dive deep into the darker parts of your soul (which is A-OK!), take a look at the resources at your fingertips. How can you align these resources with your goals? For example, do you have a goal to say nicer things to yourself each day? Make yourself a daily check list – add some normal items like “1 hour with no screen time” or “brush your teeth” and then add “say one good thing about yourself”. As you check of the easier items, you’ll see the tougher ones. And in an effort to make those check marks, you’ll get in the groove of participating in the hard tasks.

My pile three friends,

Teamwork and collaboration seems to have been a theme in January. Whether it be your new years resolution, a project at work, or homing in on a new habit, the foundation was set in this last month. I wouldn’t say you’re really leaving anything behind, but the creation stage is ending. You are moving forward into the stabilization and growth phases of this beautiful thing you’ve launched.

Bring this sense of accomplishment into February with you to start the month off strong. You’ve done really great work! One great way to keep momentum is a partnership between your higher self and the work you are doing. As you continue to build on the project you started think: what can I get out of this project personally and what can I bring to this project to ensure it thrives. You will feel better about the end results knowing that it made your heart happy and that you had something to do with its success.

To my pile fours,

You know what your higher self is trying to tell you. You know what your guides are hinting at. Maybe it seems too good to be true or it’s scary, but either way, you gotta get rid of the clouds you’re using as a way to doubt yourself. I know from experience that self-doubt speaks LOUD. It is MEAN. But it is soo worth getting past. It doesn’t mean it’ll go away for forever, but it sure can get quieter.

In this situation, “clarity” can be seen as the opposite of “cloudy” , and mental clarity is exactly what the King of Swords wants you to bring into/work on in the new month. You may not be ready to jump right into this new thing in February, but you can do the work this month to feel more confident when the time officially comes. Lay out the facts for yourself: I have done hard things in the past; I have the resources I need to be successful; I have people I know will support me when it gets difficult. And repeat these facts to yourself as much as you need to. As with pile two, you could do some shadow work to  bring clarity to why you feel this hesitancy to move forward.

[black-arcana]

HEAVY MUSIC HISTORY: Hydra – Within Temptation

Although not confirmed to be a subtle dig, the timing was suspicious: during the recording of NIGHTWISH’s Endless Forms Most Beautiful in the summer of 2014, their newest member, Troy Donockley, said in a video diary that it is “still absolutely NIGHTWISH, but there are some parts that will probably startle some people. But nothing cheesy. There’s gonna be no dreadful, pathetic stabs at trying to jump on some bandwagon, slap some shit rap on it or something, none of that nonsense.” A few months earlier, WITHIN TEMPTATION released their sixth full-length record, Hydra. 

In the run up to its January launch, much had been made of their choice of collaborators across its tracklist. Dreams came true when Tarja Turunen was announced to feature alongside Sharon Den Adel on Paradise (What About Us?), a song which has become the answer to ‘what does symphonic metal sound like?’

What raised eyebrows was And We Run (feat. Xzibit). While other guest vocalists from KILLSWITCH ENGAGE and SOUL ASYLUM broadly drew from the same rock palette as WITHIN TEMPTATION, here was an artist from a genre that could seriously be considered the polar opposite of symphonic metal.

Whether And We Run entirely works is subjective, but history has vindicated the band and Xzibit as being ahead of the curve. In the ten years since Hydra, heavy music has not only become more fashionable again, but it has diversified – and the two are surely linked. In 2023, SPIRITBOX remixed MEGAN THEE STALLION’s Cobra, introducing metal’s most hyped band in years to a whole new audience by a show of respect between them and one of the world’s biggest stars. In the UK, BRING ME THE HORIZON sell out the country’s largest venues because they introduced elements of pop, electronica, and hip hop to their initially abrasive sound. The future of music is genreless, but to get there, bands have to break down barriers.

There is more to it than just the music. One of symphonic metal’s most defining tropes is the vocal talent of its lead singer, who is often female and often white. Its lyrical content is heavily fantastical, referring to literary works by European authors who have written in predominantly white cultures. The lack of diversity in the genre can be seen in the source material for many of its songs. Introducing Xzibit’s deep vocals, having him write his own verse, destroyed the notion that symphonic metal has to look or sound a certain way.

In the years since, WITHIN TEMPTATION have taken up the mantle to promote peace and love. During live performances of Raise Your Banner, Den Adel would wave the rainbow LGBTQ+ flag, and in the last few years changed it to the Ukrainian one. Their new album Bleed Out draws heavily from accounts of war, documenting its horrors in anthems of solidarity.

Hydra was when the band realised this music, their music, was for everyone. When NIGHTWISH, who had long gone unchallenged at the top of the genre, decided to double down on their usual shtick, WITHIN TEMPTATION looked outward and opened their arms. They saw no reason why a rapped verse could not exist alongside all the other elements of their arsenal. The rousing Paradise that featured Turunen was inspired by a Dutch general who emphasised seeing the world as ‘us’ instead of ‘yourself’ and ‘them’.

It makes sense then that the album is also the band’s most palatable. There is none of The Unforgiving’s prog rock-like storyline, no epics like The Truth Beneath The Rose from The Heart Of Everything. In return, the acoustic-driven Whole World Is Watching received radio airplay in the UK – and was debuted on BBC Radio 2 by the legendary Ken Bruce. While rock music is a little more welcome on the airways in 2024, this marked a significant shift in WITHIN TEMPTATION’s profile at the time. No longer a niche band, they were welcome on the most listened to radio show in the country.

The rest of the album follows in this vein, for better or worse. That it lacks a distinct personality alongside most of their other records – the technicolour of The Unforgiving, the natural wonder of Mother Earth – is a symptom of how straight-forward it is. But there is an argument for Hydra as the band’s most consistent collection of songs, all of which are built on a strong foundation of pop music and familiar structures. Silver Moonlight in particular is overflowing with hooks, built upon chunky guitars and small symphonic flourishes. It sounds massive, which might be the only gear WITHIN TEMPTATION know how to operate in, but it sounds instant and immediate too.

Hydra arrived a year after the band recorded 15 cover songs for Belgian radio station Q-Music, in celebration of the band’s 15th anniversary. Most of these tracks were pop songs, like SIA’s Titanium, BRUNO MARS’s Grenade, and LANA DEL REY’s Summertime Sadness, which featured in their live shows at the time (and on the deluxe edition of Hydra). Den Adel said they wanted each cover to sound like a WITHIN TEMPTATION song, and not just a simple stripped back arrangement. It is no surprise then, after spending months familiarising themselves with mainstream hits, that they became tighter songwriters, something which they continue to reap the benefits of to this day, but which was first heard on Hydra.

The reason WITHIN TEMPTATION are headlining Wembley Arenathis year is because of Hydra. It is the turning point in their career where they said no to limiting themselves, and realised their capabilities reached far beyond the confines of symphonic metal. They are too good at songwriting, too strong as performers to be anything less than a legitimate marquee band. Throw on any of its 10 tracks and you hear a band with a new sense of confidence at the start of a new beginning, discovering what they are truly capable of. It was the blueprint to go even bigger, even more widescreen, on what came next. Everyone was welcome on the journey. Just look at them now.

Hydra was originally released on January 22nd, 2014 via BMG.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

So are we going to pretend like she didn't intentionally post about the dog almost on Catherine's birthday eve? by u/kebyian2070

So are we going to pretend like she didn't intentionally post about the dog almost on Catherine's birthday eve? I mean, she used the pretext that people were gonna see Guy in the show and would ask about him? Really? Bish, where exactly were they gonna ask about him, you have you s*hit locked down tighter than the Alcatraz.Not even rabid stans would have made Guy a focus, stop!She needed something to distract from the way the trailer is being dragged and also to try and be the conversation on Catherine's birthday, as per. That in memoriam video was thought out and not done on the fly, it took some work (not done by her, of course) - she's been sitting on it. And, welll, what do you know. the best moment to release it is - not a day before her show launches, not the day after - when more people would actually know who she's talking about- no,no, the perfect moment is NOW, before Catherine's b-day.The woman is pathological. post link: https://ift.tt/vjbFpAk author: kebyian2070 submitted: January 08, 2025 at 09:51AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.