#got home from work and did this in like 45min

[doublxpresso]

deserved 💋 for valentine

(ref)

[indiegame]

trying to be oh so normal abt things

[hotchfiles]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ lay down with me ❞ ─ a darling, in any life blurb

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader. summary: the red thread between two people destined to be together may stretch and tangle, but those ties will never break. or: they find out maybe bars aren't all the same. content warnings: alcohol, suggestive talk. not proof read. word count: 2.1k

"Were you... Brushing your teeth?" Yeah he was. And yeah they were still on the jet, but as soon as they got back to HQ he would be on his car for the 45min ride to Arlington to see you. He couldn't risk bad breath on your first date.

Before Aaron could even answer Emily's inconvenient question, Derek came in with another one "Hair freshly cut too, anyone noticed it?" Well he cut his own hair, it would be simply rude not to look his best when he so easily could.

He knew JJ was coming in with something too when she passed by him, so he had to cut it out before "Hey, enough. I’m meeting an old friend after work, just trying to use my time wisely here." His eyes scanned the room for the reactions and even though no one replied, he could see all the little smirking around and whispering between Emily and Derek mostly.

So much for a private life.

He's not the hiding type, if he's in a relationship he has no problem letting people know it, as long as that is it, he enjoys keeping the details to himself. And right now that's all he can really say about you, you're an old friend, just an old friend.

For now.

He was running late now, and very stressed about it. Of course it wasn't the greatest of ideas to go from Quantico to Arlington by driving instead of taking the train, but he wanted to have the choice to take you somewhere else if you wanted to and to get you home safe when the date ended. He was also aware that trains didn't run as late as he might be staying.

He planned the haircut, the hotel shower right before leaving, brushing his teeth while in the jet, having his car ready, but God, did he not plan for the traffic he would have to deal with after 6PM.

But he's a gentleman, so he calls from the car system to warn you about it and he's nervous and anxious because not being present enough and being late or not there at all ruined his marriage and he wants to do better, he really really wants to.

"Oh don't worry babe, I’m still enjoying my wine in my living room. Thought it would be better to wait 'til you were in town to leave, yeah?" Aaron hopes the loud sigh of relief he let out isn't so obvious to you, but it is. You find it endearing. You were reading essays still just minutes ago, you understood him.

You weren't very sure how well would you two work considering that. But you sure as hell wasn't going to give up without at least trying it. And definitely not without a fight.

"Send me your location then, I'll pick you up in... Twenty."

"Uuuh, picking me up? Look at us, it's a real date date now, curfew's at 10PM then, don't forget it." You make him laugh easily with that, your father was a strict man, sometimes you both went to the movies or the park nearby and if you got home at 10:03 was enough for him to sit Aaron down in your living room and tell him all about responsibilities and how he was the boy and so he was supposed to protect you and ensure you were home in time.

"I am curious about what the consequences of not following the curfew will be this time though." Oh he's teasing you now, as if this wasn't your first date and the implications of consequences weren't so... Suggestive, to say the least. But he feels comfortable enough for that.

"Guess you'll have to wait and see then, agent Hotchner." Your voice drips like honey and he's pretty sure he just figured out some sort of deep ingrained fetish he didn't know he had until now. "See you soon, airhead!" You laugh innocently before finishing the call and it drives him mad in the most delicious way.

He thinks those are the most torturous 27 minutes he's ever had to go through his life, but the feeling is completely overrun with almost childish glee as he parks in front of your house. He could fit the choice for a house instead of an apartment easily on your own profile but he didn't need too, you liked your space. Apartments have no space. No privacy. He remembers vividly of a conversation you both had after your cousins were forced into an apartment because of your aunt's divorce.

He dries his palms on his pants quickly not sure if he should go to your door, stay where he is or what. He hasn't done this, the whole date ordeal in a while and it just got to him that he has no idea how people do it these days. What's too much or too little?

Aaron finally decides on leaving the car and waiting near by, after sending you a quick text to inform you he was there. It was a middle ground of sorts, he felt confident in it. Kinda.

It doesn't take you long to leave and lock your door and the sight of you immediately takes his breath away, your smile takes him back some years but your thighs remind him quickly that you are both definitely not fifteen anymore. He shakes his head softly, directing his eyes to a more suitable place for a first date: Your hands. You were holding a flower bouquet.

Flowers.

"Fuck." He mutters to himself in frustration, "I forgot to bring you flowers." You don't seem bothered about it, in fact it makes you smile more as you hand him the bouquet in your hands. "You got these... For me?" Aaron grabs the gift softly with both hands, afraid he's going to break it somehow.

"Yeah, wanted to test my theory that you're still a sap." The way his eyes were shining and his lips turned into the sweetest of smiles were enough proof to you. Aaron was always loving, caring, soft. It was interesting seeing him on the news nowdays, stoic, serious, unbothered. You wanted to see how easy it was to break him.

Turns out very easy. At least to you.

"A sap! I’m surprised I got flowers from a beautiful woman, sue me." He opens the passenger door so you can get in, which you quickly do with a cheeky smile on your face, the gift is carefully placed on the backseat before he's back to your side, seat belt on. Nosy as you are, you're already typing some address on the GPS.

"I heard people talking really good things about this place." You muse while he turns the car on, already following the instructions. "Apparently the beer is great and it stays open til late." He doesn't ask for any clarifications, if that's where you want to go, that's where he'll take you.

The food you've both ordered hasn't arrived at your table yet but Aaron has already gulped down two large beers and is trying so very hard to not show how annoyed he is, it makes you laugh, hard. He follows, laughing along and shaking his head.

"Who told you about this place?" He asks accusingly, you take a sip of your own drink and pretend you didn't hear it. "Who?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Your students then. You trusted a bunch of twenty somethings with our date. Pitiful." You don't reply, instead you just keep laughing to yourself while you drink. The place is loud. Loud music. Loud college students. Loud busy street. You tell him that's exactly the type of place you would hang out with your girl friends to hook up back in London, his experience isn't the same, the lover boy committed since high school.

"How do they even get to know each other over this nooooise?" Laughing at his annoyance only lasts so long and now you're the one not being able to sort through your thoughts, the food is good though, you both agree while munching on the appetizers that accompany the beer.

In retrospect you should've imagined it would be this time of place by the countless mentions of beer whenever a student recommended it.

"Look around, I don't think they're actually trying to." You follow his gaze and notice that as the hours passed, the more couples formed and the less they were actually talking. Exactly as it was in your own college days. "I'm a bit tipsy so I'll let my curiosity win, you never told me why you divorced the second time." It was out of the blue, you told him the first one wasn't that bad, conflicting views on family and you both married too early in the relationship. The second one was... Harsher.

"Bastard cheated on me." You shrugged, but it was obvious it still got to you, Aaron could see it in your eyes, in your voice tone, and that had nothing to do with being a behavior analyst, and everything to do about how he just... Knew you. "His whore also pressed charges against me when I wasn't even trying to hit her, she just got in the way." He chocked on his beer and almost had to spit it out after that tiny little piece of information you hadn't mentioned before.

"You have a record?"

"He made her drop the charges when I left the apartment to him without a fight. That's why I moved back to the states." He blinks once, twice. Maybe he should be worried, but he also knew that could get a bit aggressive when losing control. Just it always happened to terrible people. "I'm obviously joking, airhead." The relief he feels is followed by an annoyed face for believing such a lie, you touch his forehead softy, smoothing the lines so he doesn't look mad anymore. He takes it as a sign, taking your hand in his and kissing your knuckles, then your hand, and pulls you to him, letting go to touch your chin.

If he wasn't drinking the proximity would inebriate him alone, the way your eyes closed and your cheeks blushed in anticipation, he's sweet, lips touching yours with tender patience, much more patient than you, you who lifted your body just a bit from the chair and pulled him by his collar to deepen the kiss, almost causing a disaster if any of you fell over the table with all the glass cups.

You let him go just after hearing some snickering from the table behind yours, not blaming them for it, it probably looked like an awkward kiss from the outside. But it wasn't.

"That was certainly better than our first one..." You smile sheepishly at him, putting your hands on your lap, nervous.

"You blushed and gripped my shirt." He says looking deep into your eyes, making you tilt your head slightly, showing him your confusion. "It's been thirty years, you did the same thing... You blushed and gripped my shirt."

"So you're telling me you make me feel like a school girl."

"I'm telling you you've just acted like one." You take the comment as a challenge, getting up and taking your chair with you to sit closer to him, brushing your lips to his before going to his ear.

"You're drunk and staying over, so why don't we get a taxi and I'll show you the school girl." You can see the way his neck shivers at your little teasing, but he takes advantage of the new found closeness to kiss you again, with much more hunger but also much faster than the first because he's ready to pay the tab and get out of there.

It wasn't really that hard to find a taxi, being a night time neighborhood, they knew to stay around. Aaron had your bag on one of his hands and the other on your thigh. Your arms went around his and your head laid on his shoulder. None of you talked the whole way there, just feeling each other's presence and the alcohol twirling around your minds and your stomachs.

And you did show him you were not a school girl anymore when you both got to your house: You got him your largest t-shirt and pajama pants, your coziest blanket and after you both changed and took aspirins to try and prevent the headache that would inevitably come, you got your pillows and went to the living room and laid on your big couch with Aaron, cuddling with him as some TV show re-run lured you both to sleep.

It was almost 2AM, and while you could take him to your bedroom and take his clothes off like you wanted to, you both knew it was the middle of the week, he had to wake up early to get his car, you would probably pass out under him anyway.

Cuddling was more than enough for a first date. And at least for Aaron, he was sure he wouldn't let go of your embrace anytime soon.

[iredastead]

So I have been thinking about this since last night's episode, regarding one particular scene that bothers me with the flow and relevance to the plot of the episode: the car scene with Buck and Eddie...

I'm going to write all my long audiovisual producer rambling under the cut, also spoiler alert for episode 8x10 "Voices"

This particular scene is the scene with Buck and Eddie driving around LA trying to find Maddie's car and we get Buck expressing his feelings about everything going on in his life. Don't get me wrong I love that, and I like the Tommy mentioned but I think that this could have worked so much better and more productive to the plot with another character: Chimney

Why do I think that? Well for starters let's talk about the narrative purpose of the car scene. As the audience we know that Maddie didn't leave, so having Buck and Eddie driving around without directions feels kinda pointless to us (even though I know realistically that is what someone would do if a loved one is missing but I'm just talking in the storytelling and tv aspect of the episode) and it fills like filler, like they had to put something in that space to get to the 45min mark of the episode. Even the conversation between does two was kinda like repeating information that we the audience already know.

A second point is that the characters don't have the same kinda investment in what's happening as the other. This is not a criticism of Eddie, I'm just pointing out something that true, for him, the situation is my best friend's sister and coworker wife's "ran away" again, at this point nobody suspected that she was taken, so the scene kinda plays as not really emotional to the plot at hand.

Now why this conversation would have worked better between Chimney and Buck? It would have played much better with the theme that the first half of the episode had going on: that Maddie ran away again and we could have a special role reversal between does two, Chimney having the calm, Cautious attitude and Buck being the one agitated and emotional one.

Considering that both of them have been in a very similar situation, and things really got out of hand (Chim punching Buck) And having into consideration that at that point only Buck and Chim knew that Maddie was pregnant again, that would have added a line of tension that with the other characters couldn't happen. This scene could have merged really well after Chim came back from the police station and he gave the "detective" the information about Maddie.

It could have been something like this:

Chim gets home and Hen, Karen, the kids, and Buck are there. As soon as he walks in Buck asks him what the police said? before Buck can ask more, Chim signals him to go to the kitchen (so the kids don't hear about what they are going to talk about, we can have Hen following them or stay with Karen distracting the kids, both options work). As soon as they are out of listening ears Buck starts asking again if it's the police searching for her? has someone made a call to 9-1-1? etc Chim responded with what he knows and brought up the possibility that maybe Maddie ran away again (with doubt but something similar to what he said to Hen in the episode).

Buck brings up that the last time Maddie actually made sure that Jee was saved by taking her to the station, and this time Jee was all alone, and it's not like Maddie at all, and spirals and brings up a similar dialogue about what he said to Eddie in the car. About everything is good, and then Tommy leaving him, Eddie leaving, etc. etc, and them saying that even though that was happening he was convinced that Maddie didn't leave and maybe he escalates after seeing Chims calm and doubtful expression and asking why Chim looks like he is sure that Maddie did leave and Chim confessing about Maddie wanting to go to the beach to die (something that I think Buck doesn't actually know). At this point, we can have Hen intervene to stop things from getting worse. And then we can have the same scene with Chim telling Hen and Kare to take the kids home, and then Mara revealing what Jee said.

Like this, we would have gotten the exact same information that the car scene but with, what I think is, a more appropriate connection to the actual plot of the episode and the central characters in them.

That means that the U-Haul scene as way feels like filler that they added because they didn't reach the 45-minute mark. They didn't give us an emotional release scene after Maddie was taken to the hospital. We just got a tiny little one between Chim and Maddie, a little scene between the siblings reminiscent of when they were in the ambulance when Doug kidnapped her would have been much more significant something like "you promise me that you wouldn’t be kidnap again" or something that makes everyone laugh softly in relive.

And the U-Haul scene would have worked better as the intro of 8x11, as a prelude to Buck's character "arc" so to speak

Welp this got away from me, the episode was really good and I like it a lot and I think if the have gone for a kinda reverse role full circle moment between Chim and Buck I would have loved it...

If you read all this, thank you so much, I'm sorry it got so long…

[ginnsbaker]

how did you get into running and how do you balance it with other things in your life?

Honestly, I got into it when I was younger due to weight gain. I wasn’t consistent tho. I only became an active runner last 2022, by active I mean running at least 4-5 times a week, having a structured plan with specific finish time goals, but then life happened in the middle of 2023 when my girlfriend quit after our first marathon to concentrate on her business, so I quit too to support her. we got back to it this year and finished the sydney marathon together :)

If you’re interested to take it up as a hobby, start by joining a local run group. it really helps when you’re running with someone vs running alone. if you cant run continuously for 5minutes, walk. then run again, then walk if you’re tired, until you can run longer than 5, than 10, than 30, etc.

how i balance it? my typical weekday runs last between 45mins to 1.5hrs, and 2 hours on the weekends. i get up at 4am and start my runs at 5am. i go to work at 9am, so i make sure im done by 7am. for me to be able to wake up that early, i sleep the latest at 9pm. it takes a lot of discipline and intention to have a sleep schedule like this, and it doesn’t happen overnight. sometimes i need to take melatonin to be able to sleep before 9pm.

i plan my day ahead. im lucky that i work from home, so it’s easier to juggle work, house chores and writing, as long as I set a specific time for them.

starting anything is the hardest part. but just show up, just do it. until it becomes a routine, until it becomes a part of you.

[megumi-fm]

23/100 days of productivity

almost at the quarter mark! i kind of registered last minute for an extra credit course and there's a lot of material to catch up on by tomorrow, so I sat at home today to get through as much as I could. I did end up missing an hour of class in the process but I got quite a bit of work done and also submitted one out of two assignments so I'm not too bothered about it. I also did my 45min of exercise and 20min of duolingo per usual. It's been a good day

Recently I'm trying to shift from only using a daily planner to a more hybrid method of bujo + calendar blocking. personally I feel like this has made quite a big difference in how I visualize the amount of time I have in a day and the number of tasks I need to get done. once I figure out my daily rhythm maybe I can add other tasks like gre prep and coding and maybe like a hobby as well

yep thats it! I hope you guys are having a fun and productive week as well <3 oh and Red White and Royal Blue movie is out this Friday!! I can't wait!!!

[case-study-of-parenting]

A long post about baby's sleeping habits

For starters, Almond was a "good sleeper" from the very beginning. She spent her first week in NICU and "learned" there to sleep in her own bed and to get fed at certain hours. So when she got home she slept through the nights with 2 feeds, then 1 and eventually dropped the last feeding independently around 6 months.

Compared to that, Cinnamon has been a terrible sleeper. Innthe very beginning she had a bit trouble with breastfeeding so she used to feed every 2 hours even at night. And I was worried that Almond would wake up for her crying (as if she hasn't slept through a smoke alarm before...) so I just gave her milk every time she would cry even a bit rather than trying to sooth her otherwise. And that's how you get a baby who only calms for breast and still wakes up to feed at least 3 times a night at 7 months. To make all this even slightly more tolerable, we've been co-sleeping, so I don't have to get up every time.

Falling asleep isn't problem. Cinnamon usually falls asleep independently in her own bed and only after one of the feeds I let her stay next to me. But now I'm working on keeping her in her own bed all night.

During days Cinnamon usually takes one longer (1,5 hours) nap and then 2 shorter (45mins) ones. I hope we're slowly moving towards 2 longer naps. One day she did sleep almost 3 hours and that was when she was sleeping in our bed. So I decided I'd try to create more similar sleeping conditions to her own bed. Our bed is much softer that her firm mattress so I added one softer blanket under her sheets. Then I took my own used bedding sheet and threaded it between her crib's edge so she has a soft wall that smells like me.

Another thing affecting her night feeds are obviously day time feedings. We have slowly been able to increase the amount of solids but I only recently realized that her feeding so much at night probably prevents her from being hungry enough during days so it's a vicious cycle. So cutting back night feeds is important for that, too.

Anyway, Last night I applied all those changes to her bed and she slept in there all night. She fell asleep feeding around 8:15 pm. She woke up once crying sometime before 10pm and i soothed her without milk. She was a bit restless after that but was able to soothe herself. Then I fed her once around 11pm before going to sleep myself. And she then slept until 4am without waking up once! And with her history that is a long stretch! She was again a bit restless so I decided to feed her around 5am and then she slept until alarm at 7:15. So I'd call that a successful first nigh with these adjustments.

Hopefully she'll eat better today bc she only had 2 night feeds and slowly we can work to dropping those, too. I am trying to do as much as I can without actually sleep training but if it doesn't work then we'll probably do a few nights where husband takes over to drop the night feeds. But i'm fine with 1-2 feeds for now.

Congratulations to everyone who read the full post 😄 I will update after more night have passed.

[multifandumbmeg]

Started watching The Bear a couple days ago and it's fantastic but season 2 episode 6?! The Christmas flashback episode?! Holy fuck I have so many feelings. A fully functional horror film in a 45min Christmas special. Not to mention I was watching it with my mom and it was profoundly uncomfortable because she was like, horrified, and I was like... This is every holiday here, my guy, but you are not prepared to have that conversation.

The moment that hit me the hardest was Carmy trying to calm down his mom, to manage her emotions, and over and over she keeps saying nobody cares nobody loves me and I have to do all the work myself. And you can see it kill him quietly after he's spent the whole evening desperately trying to help her and putting so much work in just to have her completely overlook it and even call him the wrong name at one point.

Fuckin hey that hit home. The other worst bit was watching how Donna treated Nat, but I don't personally relate to eldest daughter syndrome because A) my older sister definitely did not fill that roll and B) I relate to Carmy so fucking hard it hurts.

To get so personal on main, no shits given- I'm the forgotten younger child who spent their childhood taking potshots from dad and their older sibling all while somehow regulating mom to keep her from falling apart so I could still get fed. Not to mention I was the gifted, unsociable, Autistic child who went off the second I graduated. Travelled the world, got a masters straight out of college etc. People were proud of me and lauded me, but those people were not my family. No, the family says you think you're too good for us. You just hate us because you think you're so special, huh? No, I overachieved because you never told me I did good and by the time I realized you never would, I liked that it kept me busy and provided external validation and kept me the fuck away from this toxic monstrosity.

Anyway, this show really is a masterpiece. It goes from hilarious to high art to heartbreaking to uplifting and makes it all look easy. And don't get me started on the restaraunt shit because with seven years experience working every position in them holy shit that's real. Somebody on the writing team actually knows their shit.

[columbiafawn3]

Ok I made my cheat sheet for the stats exam tomorrow. I’m not sure if I put the right things on or if I’ve put too much of something irrelevant on. Oh well ig we’ll find out.

Im trying not to stress about stats too much because it’s not helpful. I think I’ve done what I can. Ideally I would have given myself more time to revise, but I think I did what I could.

Esp given that I had assignments until quite close to the end of sem, plus that big English essay which took longer than I foresaw (Ryan better like it, I’m telling you I better get a good mark on that cos it took a solid three days of revision away from my psych exams).

I’ve almost finished my summary notes for 3 subjects now, just leaving 3333 wk4-12, which I plan to do over the weekend and have finished by Saturday evening.

Tomorrow’s gonna be a bit of a weird day because my stats exam is at 1:30pm, so I’d finish around 3:30pm if I take the whole two hours (which I doubt I will). And that doesn’t leave me enough time to go home and then go off to tutoring at 4:45pm, so I’m planning on just going straight to tutoring from uni.

But if I finish the exam around 2:45-3pm, surely I can drive home and do whatever for 45mins. Well I’m not sure if that’s a smart choice cos it’s just a bit of a waste of time, driving to uni then home then off to tutoring, when I could go straight from uni to tutoring. But after that tutoring session, I have another at 6:15-7:45pm. So I’ll be out from like 12-8pm.

There’s also a 21st bday party that Xavier’s invited me to as his plus one. But given that I need to do 3333 wk4-12 plus 3330 wk12 on Saturday, I’m doubtful I’ll end up going. It just doesn’t feel like the responsible thing to do. I’m thinking as a compromise that I could go and just not drink anything and hang out for like an hour then go. But then what’s the point?

Im thinking I’ll make a decision tomorrow night if I can bring myself to go to a party. I will have to remind myself that my priority is exams right now, and I don’t want to do badly in an exam and wonder if I could’ve done better had I not gone to that forgettable party.

Also I can’t rlly have fun when I’ve got the pressure of exams looming over me. And do I really want to have to deal with seeing the Aloys boys when I don’t have to? I’m just rlly not in the headspace to put up with Luca tbh. That man taps into something in me that I still can’t quite work out, but it frustrates me because it’s like we could be so much — but we can’t.

And then on Saturday I’m tutoring a kid 4:30-6pm, and Sunday 2:30-5:30pm. So I’m working quite a bit this weekend. Which makes me think that going to a 21st really isn’t the best use of time, when I could be focusing on rest and preparing my brain for maximum absorption the next day.

Yeah ok I think I’ve talked myself down enough. Unless something drastically changes tomorrow, I won’t be going to the 21st. Fomo activated, but I can cope.

Will I be able to do wk4-12 notes in one day for 3333 given how dense the content is? Probably not tbh. I’d say wk4-9 definitely. Then maybe type up 3330.

Im thinking tomorrow if I stay at uni, I’ll do 3330 wk12 and have a whole other subject done.

3337 I will need to pick up my revision for on the weekend because the exam is on Tuesday and I’ve sort of let it fall by the wayside while I prep for stats. I think in the end I’ll have time for all my exams and studying, and I’m not worried that I’ll have huge gaps in my studying. But it does require me to be pretty on track with notes and generating exams. I also forgot that typing up my notes takes like a whole day, so I’d have to factor that in for each subject. So that’s 2 whole days. Oop

Oh well I’ll work it out I’m sure. Also, 3337 took so long to type because there was like 8000 words worth of content for it. I doubt there will be that much for 3330, 3333 maybe. But tbh I think 3333 is pretty self explanatory for most of it, the model names are where I get caught up because I can tell you what all the models say but not which one they are.

Also I’m wearing green mascara to bed because I couldn’t be bothered to wash it off. So I’ll wake up tomorrow with green raccoon eyes and just carry on as usual.

That’s one thing I am sad about tomorrow is that if I go straight from uni to tutoring I can’t wear any makeup. Usually I don’t wear makeup for my exams cos I don’t want the invigilators to discriminate against me in any way, but it’s the fact that I can’t wear makeup that upsets me.

Oh well. First world problems.

Anyway, I think that’s all for today.

Im feeling very grounded during this exam period tbh. Like things are just coming back into perspective and my friends aren’t such a big influence on my life. They sort of fade into the background, and my uni comes first — which is how I feel it should be usually, but unfortunately that’s not normally the case.

Ugh idk because I feel like I should throw myself into uni to get the most out of the academic side, but also my social life is important to me and I’d like to maintain it. And my degree is sort of just something that’s chugging along nicely on its own. So, diverting so many resources away from the rest of my life towards my degree, like I am now, isn’t something I’d want to do consistently. Even though it makes me feel good about myself and my future. Oh idk I think this is an age old debate that I rlly can’t add anything new to

[annieintheaair]

I play those days in my head, 'round and 'round, and how it hurt so bad. Where we were, what we were doin', and how we had to move ahead... We can't go on saying it weren't wrong how it ended and we hope for change, but there's still the pain of remembering. If I knew back then what I know right now, I'd have never wasted one more day in this town.

I lied-- last week was not the craziest week ever because this week totally beat it.

Last I left off, I was heading to therapy. It was so nice to finally meet Diara in person and I'll be going back again tomorrow for one more session before vacation. She had me choose three emotions (we do this every week) from the wheel to explain how I felt over the last week. The ones I chose last week were more positive, like optimistic. I teared up a little from time to time but walked out of there feeling really good.

It was nice to stay home that night so I took the dogs for an evening walk. I've been trying to take them on daily walks as much as possible.

Thursday morning I took the dogs for another early morning walk. I made it to yoga at noon, too, and found out that unfortunately, the yoga studio will be closing down at the end of the month to merge with the Dallas studio. It was such a huge bummer to hear that.

I had an appointment with a psychiatrist later that afternoon and they literally forgot about me sitting there in the waiting room for 45min. I was pretty annoyed and even more annoyed that the doctor wanted me to come home from work in the morning and go to sleep for 7 hours. How would I ever accomplish anything? He said I'd be happier with more sleep. Is that because I'd be sleeping so how could I be sad?

I stopped at Lalaland for a strawberry fields matcha on my way home, knowing I'd need more caffeine before work. The dogs stayed with their sitter that night and I headed off to work a trip to Austin.

Friday morning, when I got back from my trip, I had to take my car to Volvo. I was hoping the loaner they gave me would be an SUV like my car but they gave me a sedan instead.

I had to stop at my sister's house on my way to my old house to pickup a key and a garage door opener that my mom forgot to leave at the house. I did a little work for my other job while I was there and then headed to the house to load up the car. I was overly optimistic thinking that I'd be able to fit a ton of stuff but the S60 sedan is small and was not super helpful.

After I loaded up the car, I drove to Brian's house and he let me drive his truck. We went to Lolo's Chicken & Waffles for lunch and then drove back to my old house to load up the truck. We tried to fit as much as possible but unfortunately, did not get everything. We were both sweating and tired so we stopped at Starbucks for some cold drinks on our way to my new house.

We unloaded the truck at my house and at this point, I'll be lucky if I finish unpacking by Christmas. I'm kidding but that's how it feels right now.

I had to pick up the dogs at their sitter and then Brian and I went to Portillo's for hotdogs to go before we headed back to his house. We had to stop by the car dealership because they needed my second set of keys and luckily, traffic was minimal.

When we got to Brian's, we ate our hot dogs and then I rushed home to get ready for work. I had really been hoping to get a nap that day but literally had no free time.

Saturday morning I went back to my old house again as soon as I was finished with work at 6:30am. I stopped for breakfast tacos and Red Bull on my way and then loaded up the car with the last of the things and cleaned out the freezer. I did some paint touch-ups and was literally crying into the paint bucket so I guess you can say my tears are now painted onto the walls.

It was a hard morning leaving there, not knowing when or if I'd ever be back at that house again. Even though I'm happy to be back in my old neighborhood, I'm also sad that life there didn't work out. I lost someone who I thought was my best friend, living there complicated a relationship that I had high hopes for, and I experienced a whole new level of loneliness.

Even though living there made me pray more, I went to church a whole lot less, while driving back to my old church every Wednesday night to serve at church. I guess life there wasn't what I had expected.

I wondered what would have happened if I never met Todd. Would I have found a way to be happy there? Would I have met someone in Fort Worth that made me want to stay? Or, if I had lived back in my old town when I met him, would our relationship have gone differently? Would it have been more balanced and more normal? My heart hurts thinking about it all.

I closed out that chapter yesterday morning when I left the house and came home and felt kind of sad. I ended up calling out from work that night and I think the crew scheduler actually thought I was sick because I really sounded sick from crying. I never got to take a nap because I just felt so overwhelmed with so many emotions. By 2pm, I decided that my nails were so ratchet so I treated myself to a well-deserved mani-pedi at my favorite spot. Since I wasn't going to work, I was able to drink two Blue Hawaiians. The man working there (I think he's the manager or something) asked me when I sat down, "Just you?" and I felt like he was looking for Todd, even though I've been there alone so many times since.

After my mani-pedi, I met Marx at Suẽno for a late lunch. We ended up just getting appetizers and their queso blanco and ceviche were both amazing.

I headed home, knowing I was tired and thinking I'd be taking a nap but I guess all of the Red Bull really kicked in because I couldn't go to sleep. I laid on the couch and then told Marx he could meet me at the pool. Jess ended up joining us with her son Tru so we hung out there until late, drinking some beers, and then went back to my house and ordered a pizza.

I think I was showered and in bed by 2am, which was later than I had planned, especially considering how tired I was, but it was fun to hang out with people and not be home alone. I guess I forgot what it was like and I really missed this life here.

I allowed myself to sleep in a bit this morning and then got ready and went to church for the 11:15am service. The talk today was about relationships, loneliness, and the importance of community. I felt like it was everything I had been feeling lately. I knew there was a reason why I had to be there today. Even though they were promoting groups that are starting at the end of the month, it was still good to listen since I already signed up for a few. I'm looking forward to doing a morning bible study and being part of the singles group. Although I already feel like I have a great community here, expanding upon that would be amazing.

After church, I ran over to the Fresh Market to grab a coffee from my Greek friend, Nassos. I got a Freddo Cappuccino, which was really good. I missed being able to go there every weekend.

I had to run a few errands so I stopped at the pharmacy and then went to the dog store. My dogs have been wearing their 4th of July bows forever now so I figured it was time to get them some new ones and Kirby needed a new collar.

Back at home, I decided I needed to tackle the garage and deal with unpacking some stuff. I made some good progress and posted on Facebook marketplace that I had boxes to give away for free and no joke, within an hour they were all gone. I have more yet to be unpacked so once those are empty, I can post them, too.

I wanted to focus on unpacking so I ordered a late lunch from my favorite Thai spot. I ate some of it and then went to a yin yoga class, which was super relaxing. My flights tonight were canceled so I am enjoying an unexpected night off, although disappointed by the lack of pay.

I've been observing my new/old neighborhood and my neighbor across the street has two dogs and is pretty good-looking. Since I'm only interested in meeting people organically (offline) these days, I'm sure I'll officially meet him at some point.

It has been a lazy evening and I'm happy to be home with my dogs and enjoy some wine. My TVs all need to be mounted so I've been not watching TV all week and I'd love it if someone could help me put these up. Matt was supposed to help me but we kind of got into a little fight yesterday because he straight-up lied to me, not even thinking about the fact that I could see his trip schedule. Matt lying to me made me think again about how it's sometimes just better to be single because it seems like guys can't be trusted anymore.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to do more unpacking after my therapy appointment and yoga at noon and then have to pack because vacation officially starts Tuesday. I'm really praying that my flights go smoothly and there are no issues. As excited as I am for vacation, part of me would rather stay home and enjoy being in my new/old town for a bit with my dogs since I also feel a little sad about the fact that Todd and I booked this trip together and now I'm going with just my mom and aunt. It's more of those feelings about expectations versus the current reality and learning to adapt to change when I don't want to.

Anyway, it's getting late, I need to shower and put my pajamas on (still in my yoga clothes) and would like to relax with my dogs before bed tonight. Even though I got a decent amount of sleep last night, I'm exhausted and ready to crawl into bed.

xoxo

Annie

[xlovingcupcakex]

Story 1#

Back at one of the jobs that I've had when I was 19, I was working at a crab factory. Typical seasonal job. We were making those crab skulls filled with crab meat. It was a seasonal job.

So, we were about 15-20 people, depending on the month. 8 people were permanent workers, where depending on the person they had from 4 to 20 years of experience of working at the factory.

So, at that point I've worked there for 4 months. I've worked since the beginning of the season, and the highest peak of the season was approaching, so our boss hired more people. One of them was... We'll call him Ditto.

Ditto was... Really awkward at first. My boss asked me to give him a ride to and from work, since walking 1.5 km was too much for him, and I was taking the ferry anyways since I've lived far away, on another island. I agreed since I love helping people and I love driving my car.

So, it was Ditto's first day at work, and he came to the country the day before. Understandably, he asked me if I minded going to a grocery store after work, since he needed to buy food. Obviously, I told him that it wasn't a problem and that was that. Or so I've thought.

Chat, we get into the car, right? And so I start driving my car to the nearest grocery store and we have a small conversation. You know, the usual stuff, like age, general likes, relationship status, hobbies and the like. So far so good. He's being really friendly, which was nice enough, since I was the only person that was his age, I thought it was perfectly understandable. Turns out we both like alternative metal. Cool. Our passenger princess (Ditto) plays music in the car.

Then he suddenly starts to compliment my English skills. Now, the thing is, English is not my first language, but because of school I've learned to speak with an/a American/British accent, but I avoid using it with native speakers since I'm always self conscious and scared that they'll think I'm mocking them or something. Yes, I do tend to overthink and I do tend to worry too much.

So I've explained the above and made a joke how I sound like Glados from Portal whenever I use a British accent, and he goes (very very flirty) "I wouldn't mind you talking like a robot lady. I would actually really appreciate it."

Chat, hear me out. I know some people are just friendly/flirty, but the situation becomes much worse later on. To start off, the dude has a girlfriend. From the sounds of it, she sounded fucking amazing. Hella smart. Got into doctor studies. A year older.

So at this point I kinda gave him a subtle sideye. The "dude, why" sideye. But I continue driving since I don't want to crash my car and die yet. So I just mutter a "oh, that's nice/thanks"

Nothing much was said after that until after we did the groceries and I was dropping him off. As mentioned, back then I used to take a ferry, so time was kind of scarce for me since I spent 2-3h each day commuting to work.

So, the dude is really slow. My grandma moves on a wheelchair and even she is faster than him. So by the time I grab the groceries I thought he would have taken out the bike (he rode the bike from the house to the ferry, and I was supposed to get him from the ferry and then drive to work. Since I was dropping him off after grocery shopping we packed the bike as well).

But he did not. And since I wanted to take the ferry on time (otherwise I would have had to wait for 45min) I just walked up and I was about to grab the bike.

Listen, our hands touch. I don't think much of it. But him? He blushed. Hard. He kinda shyly took his hand away, and then went like, "TeeHee what a coincidence."

It does become worse. Since he looks at the clock and suggest that I stay for tea/coffee. At that point my alarm bells kinda ticked off and there's no way I'm going to stay with this dude one on one more than I have to. So I say no and that I'm going home.

NOW, here's a list of things he used to do at work:

1) I listened to music during work, since we could and I didn't see why not. Just casually killing crabs and listening to Killing Floor 2 soundtrack along with Doom.

I've had some experience at that point, and the leader had terrible English skills, so I guess he naturally went to me whenever he didn't understand something or didn't know what to do. Which is totally fine! What was not fine, is the way how he went around with it.

Instead of tapping me on the shoulder, he would stand beside me or behind me, almost breathing down my neck, just waiting for me to notice him. He would also constantly come up with excuses to talk to me about non work related things. I'm naturally a person who is dedicated to whatever work I do, so I tend to try hard.

2) He would constantly try to invite me over, saying how he wanted to "thank me", how he would bake a cake for me and stuff. I'm going to remind you, dude had a girlfriend at that point. Apparently she also didn't know he had a coworker that was his age (me).

3) Oh, yeah. Forgot to say this, but the car situation? At some point he said something along the lines of "I really admire your confidence", because we were talking about how I was supposed to go to an aquapark with a few other coworkers, and apparently Ditto was unknowingly invited as well.

To which I asked him what he meant. Ditto then gestured towards my chest and cleavage and my tight clothing, no words. In case you have a question, yes, I'm fat. So after I tilt my head, he finally continues and becomes flustered and tries to explain that suddenly his mom had breast cancer, so she has always been ashamed of showing herself at such places. I feel bad for his mom, I really do. Especially since my mom had cancer when I was younger. But back then, I really didn't understand what his mom having cancer had to do with me. He was trying to insinuate something, probably, but I cared too little to look into it.

There's probably a lot that I've forgotten, but that's the gist of it. Lucky I didn't have to deal with him for long, since he was supposed to only work during the peak season, plus after it became colder his roommate was driving the car to work (they usually used a bike), so he didn't have to carpool with me. Obviously tried to make a connection, but I'm happy he left me alone after going to his home county.

But yeah, that's the first story!

[taigaoftundrablog]

I'm afraid this isn't a weekly blog anymore, but here's something to make up for it

Experiment on phone usage starring myself

The main goal here is to:

1. Reduce my phone usage

2. See how your phone affects your life

Day 1

it's a tuesday. i have decided to go a decent portion of my day without my phone. i did not touch my phone during school, but after it, usage was pretty much average. i have not touched discord for the entire day, and i don't seem to be getting any notifications from there. hopefully i can lessen usage tomorrow, as i did use my phone quite a lot, still.

i did notice how not using my phone affected me though. for example, i was out of things to do for most of the breaks, since everyone else is stuck looking at their phones constantly. i'm marking this as a decent start.

Day 1 usage: 3h 30min

Most used app: Google (i look through the news feed a lot, it's a bad habit, but I will hopefully be looking at it a lot less by the end of this study/experiment.)

Time I went to bed: 21.30

Day 2: Plans

it's not wednesday yet, but my plans are:

- try get phone usage down to 3 hours

- start working on something, which i might find productive

- don't check discord, as not doing so will show myself that i'm actually determined about this

hopefully i fill my expectations of myself tomorrow.

Day 2

now it's wednesday, just got out of school. it's 14.26 right now and i have around 45 minutes of phone usage right now after allowing myself to use my phone normally school. 45min is about average for me and most of that time is used on school related stuff (checking schedule, etc.). i got out of school a few hours later yesterday so we'll see how today goes at home. have not touched discord, don't know how people there are doing, as the app quite literally is not giving me any notifications right now.

22.08. i am about to go to bed. i've spent most of my day playing on switch, which i feel like is more productive than being on my phone all day. first discord notifications popped up, apparently people are hoping i'm alright. it's nice to know that people care about how i'm doing but i have still yet to open discord. honestly opening it up seems worse than not doing so, so i may delay that to tomorrow evening, where i'll have something to talk about (nintendo direct).

Phone usage: 2h 18m (I really overdid myself there.)

Most used app: Chrome (I looked at random stuff online, Nintendo and school related)

Time I went to bed: 22.16

Day 3: Plans

plans for day 3 are: keep phone usage around the same, try not to go above 3 hours if plausible (opening discord for the first time in 4 days may change that to be over 3h though), and to stay focused on schoolwork. i'm honestly seeing some improvement, although not too much.

Day 3

literally just woke up. it's 6.09. i'm pretty intrigued to see how this day goes as i'll most likely be opening discord for the first time in a while.

welp, can say that people were worried about me. i do feel like i should've notified them about that before as uh they thought i pretty much died. whoops.

it's pretty late, and from what i've noticed, discord is the main reason i go to bed late and use my phone so much. not much else to note for today.

Phone usage: 3h 38min

Most used app: Geometry Dash (The game's just fun, alright?)

Time I went to sleep: 21.59

Stuff about day 4 & 5

have to preface these days a bit, as i did not initially write anything for these days, so i'm writing them on monday. main reason: i was too busy spending time doing other things + i did not feel like it. i'm currently thinking why i just stopped for two days, but i believe it's due to a lack of motivation/willingness, which i've seen a lot in myself. could honestly be due to improper phone usage, which was the main thing i need to work on here.

i've got to fix this somehow.

Day 4

pretty much spent all day at home playing on switch and whatever.

Phone usage: 3h 6min

Most used app: Discord (i KNEW this was gonna happen)

Time I went to sleep: presumably around 23.00

Day 5

same thing as yesterday, but we went to the store etc.

got new shoes, it'll take some time to get used to these but they're nice so far.

Phone usage: 2h 46min

Most used app: Discord (I'm genuinely addicted to human interaction, could be worse though of course (ahem TikTok, thank god I don't use that app))

Time I went to sleep: around 22.00

Day 6

start of a brand new week, it's monday now, i am currently at school, maybe i'll try reading this dang book in the evening as i got an assignment to read it, have to be done on thursday and this has like 250 pages. i will promise to you that i'll have less than an hour tomorrow, if i fail, i will draw something daily for a month AND it won't be myself constantly.

it's 22.02. sitting in bed, have done absolutely nothing productive today. have not touched that book which i have to read in like 3 days. guys i am so mentally stable and motivated

anyway yeah tomorrow is the sub-hour phone usage day which only means that i should probably be sleeping soon. i'ma actually get started on that book

Phone usage: 5h 31min (Mostly due to me also drawing for a decent while, 1h 21min to be exact.)

Most used app: Discord (Who would've thought?)

Time I went to sleep: around 23.00

Day 7

last day, i have like 15 minutes to write this

i have officially passed the test of less than an hour of phone usage and i am pretty proud of that. i've read the book i was meant to read a decent lot, at page 75 or something now. very cool.

not using my phone much does feel very odd honestly, but it feels kinda freeing in a way too, since i'm not stuck to this screen for 4 hours a day. i will do the final thoughts section tomorrow.

Phone usage: 48min

Most used app: Notes (Diary thing about this book which I have to write)

Time I went to sleep: 21.55, goodnight everyone

Closing thoughts (very cool)

i am finally free

phone usage has dipped a decent bit i would say, as it previously was up to 5 hours some days, now it seems to be at around 3 hours a day. there are of course exceptions, though, but i accept them

well, i shouldn't say free but still

pretty interesting how that week went. i believe my main lesson here is that you pretty much can't get rid of your phone in your life no matter how much you want to, since actually important things are sort of mixed up with less important ones.

i believe i have succeeded at this odd test somewhat

feels like i've been focusing more properly on the things i actually need to focus on, which is good for a change.

will see you all at some point, i'll try next week maybe!

[n0toverit]

huge vent feel free to ignore

okay day is now becoming kinda bad day esp with everything that’s happened recently i haven’t worked in like two weeks bc quit old job to go to new job bc i got a car which is literally everything i worked for at old job like saving 550-650 per check so i could get a car and then i got in an accident so i have no car which is the whole reason i went to new job interview and got the job that o was so happy and so excited for and now i have no car so i got all used to having my own time and doing things in my own not asking if i can be dropped of here or if i can be brought there i could just do it on my own and i was able to see bf twice a week instead of once bc he wasn’t the only one driving all the way to me and back every week but now i get more info on new job just to find out my kinda ex friend at this point that works there told me ppl wear jewelry and have their nails and lashes done blah blah so i give myself a fresh set of acrylic nails this past weekend, i would have had lashes but that was the day of the accident just for the email to say no perfume/cologne, no jewelry whatsoever (rings of any sort, earrings, bracelets,watches) no makeup, no hair or eyelash extensions, no acrylic nails or nail polish, and above all that said that if you violate any part of the dress code you’ll be sent home and have training rescheduled for the next week which mine was already rescheduled bc the class i was supposed to be in on the 5th got too full so they moved me to the 12th now i have to remove a basically full fresh set of acrylics and take off all of my jewelry including my ring from my boyfriend which means the most to me i literally cried the one day i forgot to put it back on a couple weeks ago after washing my cat and then take out all 3 sets of earrings i have and possibly lose the 3rd holes entirely that i only got making sure with that friend that i would be able to wear at least just regular plain earrings and not have to take them out and she said yes they shouldn’t say anything so not only was i basically fully lied to but i have only a few days to figure out what to do with all my stuff idk if they’ll let me in with clear piercing retainers or not i’ll have to see how they look cause i’m not sure if i’ll have my hair up or not this is all so disappointing and upsetting with the fact that i’m pretty sure all week i’m gonna have to uber home too cause they’re doing it on a tuesday when my regular schedule has me off from sunday -tuesday and alternating wednesdays i’m happy i have the job and it’s a better working place than the last job i had especially since i know i won’t be doing 3diff ppls jobs and playing manager through the week but i wish the stupid accident didn’t happen and my stupid friend wasn’t so stupid if i can even call her a friend at this point we had this not rlly huge but idk falling out argument whatever that she complains how she feels like i don’t want hang out with her anymore or that i spend all my time with my bf who i’ve only been able to see 2-3 times a week IF IM LUCKY but normally once a week on tuesdays for over a year but she thinks i spend all my time and days off with him when he lives 45mins away from me or that i don’t wanna hang out with her when she leaves me on seen and delivered for weeks and at time and she thinks it’s like a hehe oopsies i did to that didn’t i like it’s so annoying and irritating i’ve actually fully stopped talking to her bc of it she said she was gonna be better about it and she hasn’t changed anything so i just stopped talking to her fully because it’s sad and annoying esp seeing as we were best friends since we were like 10-11 and now she just pretty much lies or pays so little attention and practically ignores me everything g is so upsetting recently i just wish i still had my car and never made that stupid appointment and that i had better friends when at this point my only friend is my boyfriend if he even really counts and maybe one other person but we can’t even really hang out now cause i don’t have a car anymore

[sebsxphia]

brat tamer!bob and the vibrator got me thinking about him punishing you for cumming without his permission…

at this point you haven’t cum for days and bob knows how absolutely desperate you are..

he comes home from work and just immediately shoves his tongue in your mouth while his hands slide slowly down. this man picks you up while pressing sloppy kisses up and down your neck. Laying you down on your bed as his kisses go lower and lower till he is sucking on your clit. Taking turns biting at it and swirling his tongue around the nub, while his thick hands keep your thighs apart.

But as soon as you gasp “Robby, I’m so close”

this man takes his mouth(and hands) off of you and announces that the two of you are meeting the rest of the daggers at the hard deck. but before you go to stand up..

“not just yet sweetheart ” he whispers as he goes over to the top drawer of your dresser and pulls out the remote controlled vibe

like 45mins later y’all are surrounded bu your friends with the -hasn’t been used at all- vibe lodged in you. as soon as you all sit down you feel it begin the vibrate as you try and school your expression

Robby leans over and whispers in your ear

“one sound tonight and your not coming for 2 weeks”

the whole night just as you think your safe- be turns on the vibe at varying levels at strength as you do your damndest to not let it show, the risk of 2 weeks too much

but just as you think you’re successful (everyone finishing up their last drinks of the evening) bob turns it up to the highest setting and gently reaches over(under the table) and pushes the, already precariously placed vibe, deeper into you while rubbing his long, thick fingers up and down your gentle folds. this time-you break. bob knows exactly when you go over the edge, your cum running onto your seat and his still embedded hand

“oh baby, you see hear him condescend.

-also is their is 🦚anon?

oh god oh god oh god dear anon!!

no no because even if you don’t show it in your face, bob knowing exactly as you go over the edge, clenching just around his fingers and feeling your cum slick his hand?? the look in his eyes and his condescending tone makes fear run down your spine.

bob’s punishment is simple. he won’t take away your orgasms, oh no. he’ll give you more seeing as you want to be so greedy (his words not mine). he’ll keep the vibe inside of you for as long as he safely can. if he has to take it out, he’ll strap one to your clit while you go about your day or you’re sat watching tv. it goes on for two days and even though he gives you lengthy breaks, you’ve never been so overstimulated and barely able to hold a single coherent thought.

the first time you want to come, you look at him and ask for his permission. “i don’t know why you’re asking me, bunny. you didn’t need to ask before did you? so come as much as you want. no holding back.”

you’re almost grateful bob is letting you come as much as you want without permission, but by the second hour it’s torture and you’re giving him pleading eyes.

“no bunny. brats have to learn and take their punishment. you’ll be so good for me after and won’t come until i say, won’t you?”

FUCK ME

thank you so much for this insane thot my dear anon and absolutely you can be 🦚 anon!! 💌💖

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

BHAH CHAPTER 12 IT'S TIME TO CRY

just wanna say, from the bottom of my heart, buzzy and roman I would die for you thank you for my LIFE

NOT NANS COTTAGE. maximum emotional damage hours right off the bat

god the hill house vibes jamie get out before this place tries to eat u

"Thought for the longest time that I’d never get either of you back.” bruh

Jamie fixing up her old bike for Mikey's birthday at the O'Mara's house. specifically designed in a lab to make me cry

"put out of its misery with a thousand blows to the head with a shovel" is so gruesome I read it like 3 times until I remembered that Jamie actually did that in the middle of some serious grieving jesus

mike calling jamie dani and mikey 'the family' hold on a minute man hold on a minute

dani and mikey snoozing together HOLD ON A MINUTE MAN HOLD ON A MINUTE

god jamie is such a softie this whole chapter is just her trying not to cry with how much she loves people (and is loved in return)

oh boy the eddie jamie showdown

oof my poor son boy

holy fuck this whole confrontation is intense

"After all, why bring home a haunting, a gutter rat from the wrong side of the tracks, half feral and half broken, when the golden boy was right there." how dare u use the title against me like this

"I was mad for her from the start." “We were her best friends. If you fell for her, then how could I not?" hooooooly feelings

jamie saying all this to eddie and not dani. lmao. lol. rofl, even.

grocery shopping together............. intimacy...........

"What if I want more?" Dani being able to ask that now is so important to me that's my baby she's doin so good!!!!!! letting herself love people!!!!!

dfgkjhfkjghfkjh Jackie my beloved

"Jamie made an explicit gesture with her hands" screaming this whole interaction is so fucking funnyyyyyy. in the GROCERY STORE. fucking commedians the both of u

Dani Clayton picking a car by colour and nothing else she's so relateable

horny in a car dealership lot so true! i mean jamie with these practical car skills is v hunky u are so right dani

DANI HAS HER OWN CAR AGAIN. FREEDOM HAS NEVER BEEN SO SEXY

they're so domestic ugh (affectionate)

"I WANT YOU TO WATCH" FKSDJFKJDFH YEEHAW

“I think it would’ve been nice learning with you.” is so soft excuse me while I get emosh in the middle of this sex scene

every day this fic gives me my horny rights *pray hands emoji*

fgkjdfhgkjhdfkjh Judy telling them to take some alone time she said go work out that sexual frustration u horny lesbians

“Just because I didn’t realise it, doesn’t mean I didn’t have romantic feelings.” awww

dangerous dani clayton!!!! she needs to focus on the road!!!!!

"“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jamie said." SAME GIRL

lmao holy shit I love these idiots

nan..... jamie..... ouch

mikey meeting Dani's dad........ gotta go sob for 45mins hang on

Jamie growing Nan's favourite flowers just for her...... the amount of Nan that's in Jamie makes my heart cry

this fic is so like, full of love and really sweet moments but I love that you infuse these little moments of horror imagery in a 'life can be good but we carry around so many ghosts of troubled pasts in us' kinda way. good soup

“You be good. I love you.” i am crying.

sdfjdhfgjdghfjg how is jamie in shock don't tell me u didn't already know u enormous idiot.

I LOVE THE WAY WOMEN LOVE

pls they're so fucking cuuuute

not 'with every piece of me left' ow my heart

i can't believe what them telling each other i love you is doing to me. the power of live laugh lesbians

oh my god Judy i love u

dfjkgdfkjghdfkj Dani dressed for maximum Jamie short-circuiting is my favourite nuclear weapon

Dani "smiling at her as if trying to hold it back" top 10 anime victories

Dani finally getting her horny art room fantasies sfkjghfkjghfkjg oh boy

“You could have brought me here.” I AM LOOKING AWAY THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. bold dani you will be the death of both of us

“I want to fuck you at home.” wholesome <3

whew I too need a cigarette rn Jackie

ooOOOOooooOo Eddie's got a girlfriend

oof poor eddie and dani though I hope they can be friends again one day they deserve it

jamie in full simp mode is so fun good for u babe

God these necklaces I'm obsessed with Dani wearing hers actually. and these two getting to go out together n be gay n in love in public!!!

jamie oh my god???!? horny rights

i am shaking like a chihuahua

“Surprise," sdfkjghdfkjghiudfhgiuerhgkjdhkjfg

"Jamie: suffering" FUCKIN SAME BRO

aww everyone singing happy birthday to the best girl!!! deserved!!! just as deserved as I'm sure the rest of this night is going to go lmao

DFGKJDFKHG ROBIN. doesn't miss a beat huh?? also i hear she's single can I get her number

jesus christ dani clayton I'm about to drive off the road and I'm not even behind a wheel

Jamie Taylor u are a stronger woman than I will ever be

“You wanna make out for a bit?” pls they're so cute

dfkgjkjdfkh princess. iconic

the "nice" that just left my mouth at Dani in lingerie who are u making me become

“I’ll be whatever the fuck you want me to be, love.” so true! me *handshake emoji* jamie

losing my got dang mind

i love that these two are so comfortable with each other it's so so so lovely to see after all the yearning bruh look at them go

“At my mercy.” i feel drunk. i need to go build a hammock

a thousand points to jamie taylor for being strapped and ready for anything and Dani for being outrageously bold and horny this whole scene was so iconic

oof Karen Clayton

Mikey seventeen the dancing queen? they grow up so fast

oof Dani bby getting into it with her. god she's so poisonous

NOT THE LETTERS

Jamie just patiently loving her while she works her way through this oh love

oh my god the box

dfgkjhdkjhgkjfh the mixtape. heart on your sleeve softie jamie taylor

wait was dani wearing Jamie's half dollar necklace earlier??? cute bastards

“They’ve always been yours.” JUST LIKE DANI'S HEART OH I AM SHATTERED

“You kept me here, remember?” This is like The Notebook level romance but better bc lesbians

and now I'm crying bc they get their happy ending. so much heartache but they still found their way back to each other

"My sweet Jamie" 😭😭😭😭

they just love each other so much how am I supposed to cope????????????

they way they've created this little family full of so much love after coming from broken homes and rough pasts makes me ache so much

sdfkjdfhkg god Jamie is such a tease lmao. have fun girls!

THESE PHOTOS!?!??! OH MY GOD

good for themmmmmm

loving the vast array of fucking we get in this chapter!!!! giving the people what they want (Jamie's |redacted| in Dani's--I am forcefully removed from the premises)

this is not the point but oh my god Jamie building Dani a bookshelf....... romance

Jamie providing Mikey with such a nurturing and stable environment that he excelled academically like this.... my boy..... my beloved Jamie. aaaaahhhhhhhhh.

also SO fond of Jamie Carson shenanigans more more more.

god but Jamie's so scared to let go of her not so baby brother. bigger AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

crying again bc I'm so close to the end and this fic is almost over :(

both of em having to talk to their boys dfkjhgkfj godspeed

genuinely not doing well Jamie and Mikey's relationship is so special and I'm so glad they found each other and they have each other and I can't cope!!! with all these emotions!!!!

EVERYONE COMING TOETHER TO EAT. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. THIS WONDERFUL WEIRD LITTLE FAMILY.

the kids all still fighting like they're teenagers though dgkjdfhkjhdg iconic

the simple intimacy of doing the dishes together....

ANOTHER MIXTAPE??? GIMME THE LINK. also that's cute as fuck love is stored in the carefully curated playlists

Jamie is her home..........

BITCH HOW AM I MEANT TO SAY GOODBYE TO THIS FIC. Ok I'm gonna go cry to Jamie's Mixtape (1993)

"if I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more" - me about this fic (however many words of silly waffling this post is doesn't count!!! I'm hiding the real feelings behind humour!!!!). but actually really sincerely genuinely buzzy and roman thank you so much for sharing this fic with us all and making us yearn and laugh and cry and fall in love with them all over again. unmatched.

[indynerdgirl]

notes & observations from watching Top Gun: Maverick a stupid number of times

The plaque that Maverick takes his aviators off of in the opening scene mentions the 412th Test Wing, an Air Force wing based out of Edwards Air Force Base in California (not to far from the Mojave desert). I was a bit confused since Mav is obviously still in the Navy, but after some googling I did find out Edwards AFB does host VX-9 Detachment Edwards, which is a part of the Navy's Operational Test and Evaluation Force (the rest of VX - 9 is stationed at Naval Air Weapons Station China Lake at China Lake, California). So maybe Mav is a part of VX - 9 at the beginning of the movie.

I also finally noticed that during the Darkstar test flight sequence, there is a map tracking exactly where Maverick is as he's flying Darkstar. Assuming he took off from Edwards, this is the flight path the map shows and where Maverick crashes (some where over southwest Idaho). Just looking at where he crashed, I highly doubt it was just a helicopter ride back the next day so that's another example of the movie not understanding how time & distance work in the real world (I'm looking at you, scene that makes it look like Rooster & Mav get to the F-14 in just minutes instead of the at least 2hrs it more likely took).

Going by the quick glances we get of how they're all sitting together when Warlock is introducing Maverick, combined with the quick glances inside the cockpits during the dogfight training montage I can say with a good amount of confidence that Fritz is a single seater and that Harvard is Yale's WSO and Halo is Omaha's WSO.

A random thing about Cyclone - in the scene where he's chewing Mav out for breaking the hard deck, you can see a bag of golf clubs leaning against the wall behind Warlock.

Iceman has two multi-line phones sitting on his desk in his home office. Man is in charge of the entire Pacific fleet so there is no doubt he has to make a lot of phone calls. I also bet that one of those phones has direct access to the White House and/or the Pentagon.

Rooster & Bob are both wearing the 1st Navy Jack Shoulder Patch on their left shoulders instead of the American Flag. Not sure if they're allowed to wear this patch instead of the American Flag or if it was just a mistake by the movie's wardrobe department.

You can see Hondo wearing a version of it when he's sitting in the back of the classroom when Cyclone is telling them Maverick has been pulled from the mission. His looks like this and he has a green/black American flag on the other shoulder.

The honor guard at Ice's funeral is comprised entirely of Marines. I know the Marines are a part of the Navy, but I would have thought the honor guard for someone like Ice would have been all sailors instead.

I just really want to know how in the heck Penny already knew about Maverick getting pulled from the mission/grounded after Ice's funeral before he got to her. I know she's an admiral's daughter so what kind of connections does she still have that news like that got to her that fast???

For anyone wondering, the enemy 5th Gen fighters shown in the movie are Russian made Sukhoi Su-57s.

And while the movie obviously never names a specific country as 'the enemy', based on what the target is, the terrain, and the fact that 'the enemy' still has old F-14s, it's obviously Iran. They're also the only country in the world still flying F-14s.

While the movie makes it look like it took just a few minutes for Mav to find Rooster and for the two of them to steal the F-14, the time between Mav going down and Rooster turning his eSat on is (like I mentioned earlier) more like 2-3 hours, minimum. It probably took Mav a minimum of 20mins to get to Rooster and then it definitely took them at least an hour to get to the ridge over looking the bombed out air field and then another 30-45mins of sneaking down said ridge without getting caught.

That crazy maneuver the enemy fighter does is called Kvochur's Bell Maneuver. You can see a video of a plane doing it here. (the Cobra maneuver Mav does in the dogfight training montage is also a real thing and you can watch an F-18 do one here)

Going with the assumption the target is in Iran, the carrier they launch from is in the Persian Gulf. So it probably took a good 48hrs to get everyone out there and on the ship and then another 48hrs to get everyone home. There for it is also physically impossible for the carrier to make it back to San Diego the next day after the mission. Honestly, between how long it would take to get back and all of the debriefing, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a week post-mission before Maverick walked into the bar looking for Penny.