#got. some sort of fog bug
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fagstableonline · 5 months ago
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atlasofthestaars · 2 years ago
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[MK X READER] New Era - Chapter .001
Note: Will use events from Mk9-11 + Aftermath. I am changing canon for some characters to fit the story. Changing canon in general for MK1, so at some point I will add in scenes not in the main story and probably will diverge from it in the end. Some character personality changes, not major, but enough to add depth. Slight character dynamic changes (Mostly Lin Kuei, so the trio feel slightly closer as a whole)
Also excuse the small exposition dump that happens through the chapter, it was needed to set up plot points in the future, so in the future we can get to those juicy character interactions easier!
LOVE INTERESTS: Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Raiden, Johnny Cage, Kenshi, Reptile, Scorpion (Kuai Liang), Sub Zero (Bi-Han), Smoke, Shang Tsung, Mileena, Kitana, Ashrah, Havik, Rain
Also on AO3: NEW ERA
part two
FROM THE EYES OF ONE WHO DOESN'T REMEMBER
Memories are fickle things. 
Awakening in the middle of a field, you heard the buzzing of bugs, and the grass beside you moved as a creature scurried past. Your head hurt, and a fog settled in your mind as if it were blocking something. You sat up slowly, noting the moonlight shining down on the area around you.
You looked down at your hands. It was odd, it felt like you were familiar with it, yet at the same time it felt all too foreign to you. You wiggled your toes, feeling the grass brush against them to remind you that they existed. 
Where were you?
Swallowing any dread you felt building up, you stood up wearily. Your body swayed as you got up, almost stumbling into the grass once more. The area around felt devoid of humans, undisturbed nature spreading far. It was beautiful and breathtaking, but it only soothed you for a moment before panic began to seep back in again.
Where were you?
In the distance was a soft light. A flame? Perhaps. You dragged your feet as you walked towards it. You’d rather go discover whatever that was then stick around being lost wherever you had woken up. 
Why were you there in the first place? 
Fear was crawling down your back at the inability to answer the nagging questions within your head. Shaking it off, you continued on. The closer you got, the better you could identify where the flame was from. 
A temple of sorts?
It had a dragon motif from what you could see, and it was constructed mainly from wood and stone. Red shingles, or at least you assumed it was…it was hard to see in the moonlight, lined the rooftops of the temple ahead. The tree leaves even seemed to be red. There were multiple buildings, one being a tall tower, and a few smaller buildings. The flame, which was quite large from what you could see, was lit in a pavilion of sorts.
Your mind throbbed as a vague memory of a temple floating in the sky appeared in your mind. But this wasn’t that same temple. Not at all. Why were you thinking of that?
Soon enough, you found yourself at the entrance of the area, marveling at the architecture and the beauty of the area up close. How wonderful. Eventually, you spotted two figures walking towards you. 
The first thing you noticed was their glowing blue eyes.
Not knowing what to do, you stood there. Although you felt a pit of dread build up in your stomach as they approached, you stood unwavering. You grimaced, not at the sight of them, but at how the figures coming closer seemed to intensify a dull throb that had been building up in the back of your head.
Silly as it was, were they the cause of your headache? Of the fog in your head that seemed to block out any memories you tried to pry from your mind? 
You watched as the two figures, that you could now identify as men, approached. You could read a vague sense of concern on one of their faces, and the other held a sense of shock on his. They walked over a bridge, stopping at the top as if to create a sense of height. You looked up at them, your will not wavering despite the dread that was building in your stomach.
Your headache, why was it hurting so much?
You watched as one of them held out his hands, forming one a fist connecting to his palm. He smiled at you. It felt warm. The other nodded his head in acknowledgement, but you could see the small smile he had as well. You stumbled as your headache turned into a sharp pain, as if someone had just stabbed your head. Gasping, you stumbled forward. 
The man who had been presenting his hands grabbed you to steady you, and you noted the strange sense of familiarity as he did so. His wrapped hands were firm as he helped you right yourself. You looked up into his eyes, and without thinking, a name popped into your head.
“Liu Kang?”
The dread you felt in your stomach turned into fear as the man’s eyes widened, and the vague shock that had been on his face before was now on full display. He glanced over to his companion who held the same look of shock before they both looked down at you, almost accusingly.
“How did you know that?”
That was years ago.
Shortly after the shock had worn off, you had been escorted into the fire temple. They gave you a place to rest for the night, but you could hear the whispers of Liu Kang and Geras as they walked away. What they were discussing, you weren’t certain.
You could hear the concerned tone in their voice loud and clear despite that.
The next morning in what was perhaps the politest interrogation ever, it was revealed that you had a lack of memories.
Kind of.
You had memories, or at least you thought so, but they were all jumbled up in your head. They felt wrong, and foreign and they didn’t match up with what you were seeing. After all, your mind was telling you the man who was interrogating you was Liu Kang…but it was not the same mortal man that popped into your mind. 
You also eventually recognized Geras, which seemed to alarm the two even more, even if they were subtle about it. Eventually, after long deliberation with each other, Liu Kang eventually came up to you and offered you a place to stay at the fire temple due to your lack of memory and residence.
You were relieved to have a place to rest and stay, even if you had a nagging feeling that the offer was a disguised excuse to keep a close eye on you.
You supposed that was fair.
Eventually, the memories you had came back slowly over the years, and you confided in Liu Kang about them. This led to an eventual friendship with the god as you unraveled the strange situation that you were in. The man, though cordial, had been wary at first of you. You thought that was reasonable. A random stranger showing up in rags and recognizing you without introduction?
That was suspicious for certain, you could not blame the fire god for his caution. Especially since he proclaimed himself to be the Protector of Earthrealm, you could have easily been a threat.
Thankfully, you were not. Or at least, he seemed to deem that you were not. Although you had a jumbled mess of mismatching memories, the two of you had concluded that the memories you did have were visions of sorts, of other realities, and that the memories you used to have were gone. 
Visions of other worlds traded for the memories of your past. That’s what he told you, anyways. You had a sinking feeling that wasn’t quite true, and that was the biggest secret you held from Liu Kang. After all, the more memories you regained, the less it felt that they were random visions. 
They felt like a past life…and maybe they were. You weren’t certain yet. You had a nagging feeling there were many memories left to unlock.
The guilt of hiding this doubt, this secret, was immense at first. Ignoring the fact that you were lying to a god, you were concealing doubts from a man who had offered you shelter and food.
Eventually the guilt died down into near nothingness, but there was still a twinge of guilt every time you lied about it.
Aside from that, you rediscovered abilities that you had not realized you had. 
Shapeshifting into animals. You could transform your whole body into creatures, or parts of them. It was a helpful power, you found. You also seemed to have some sort of muscle memory of fighting skills. Lord Liu Kang had once offered to train you, and to both of your surprise, you were quite skilled.
Rusty at first, but it was obvious your body knew how to fight. It was nothing that years, or in all honesty, months could not fix.
Another ability you realized after a few years was how your body did not seem to age. Or at least, not in the same way humans did. At first, the monks seemed to chalk it up to good genetics, complimenting on how you seemed to keep your youth. However, as more years passed, whispers of magic arose.
Concerned with the strange state of your body, you confided in the fire god. Liu Kang suggested that your body was one that lived longer, perhaps of one that was not native to Earth, or Earthrealm as he called it…an edenian, perhaps? He explained the realm of Outworld, and the existence of the realms in general. He had once explained it much before, along with some monks, but not to the historical extent he had given you at that time.
Through these explanations, you remembered Outworld much more clearly, but the memories of Outworld were once again inconsistent with the world he described.
The Outworld you knew had been run by a tyrant before it was passed to an heir that had been overthrown. It was war hungry, and not at all pretty as he described. Liu Kang offered that, perhaps, when the Mortal Kombat tournament rolled around in a few years, you could join him and the champions he would bring to Outworld.
You agreed, of course. Maybe that realm was key to unlocking more memories, and more explanations. Even though you cherished the Fire Temple, a place you had learned to call home, you now had a purpose going forward.
Go to Outworld to seek the rest of your memories.
And now, you were here, enjoying another peaceful morning in the Fire Temple.
Staring out from the pavilion, you inhaled deeply as you took in the sunrise. You could never tire of the beautiful view. Your ears picked up the soft sound of someone walking towards you, and you turned around, already familiar with who it was. 
“Hello, Liu Kang.” You greeted, a smile on your face as you nodded towards the fire god. The fire god sent you a soft smile in return as he walked up to be by your side. Due to your memories of a younger, mortal Liu Kang that had popped up so often at first, you had taken up a nasty habit of addressing him casually. You tried to fix this, but he had permitted you to address him casually in private.
It felt like a strange honor.
He greeted you, your name rolling off his tongue in a familiar way as his hands settled on the railing much like yours were. It was common for the two of you to meet up here at sunrise, to indulge in the simple yet breathtaking view. It was a tradition from years ago.
“Beautiful morning, isn’t it?” Liu Kang inquired, much like he did nearly every morning. He gazed at the horizon with a sense of serenity and peace before his glowing eyes landed on you. With a chuckle you turned your gaze to the horizon he had been staring at previously.
“It is, just like it is every morning.” You mused, watching as the sky lightened, the darkness making way for the pretty light blue hues as a pink and orange color settled over the horizon. Your fingers tapped the wood as you hummed, remembering that something special was happening today. “Today we’re going to the village of Fengjian, correct?” You inquired, a surge of excitement buzzing through you.
You had been around the world here and there over the years to accompany Liu Kang and sometimes even the Lin Kuei, but it had been a while since your last venture. 
“Correct, Madam Bo said two of her trainees were ready for the exam scenario, and today we're going to observe.” Liu Kang said, nodding as he confirmed the plans he had told you about two weeks ago. You noted how he kept his gaze intent on you, as if analyzing your reaction. You could not hold back the smile on your lips.
“Excellent, it’s been forever since I’ve had Madam Bo’s cooking.” You commented, remembering just how delicious the older woman’s cooking was. You were nearly drooling at the thought of it. Not only that, but Madam Bo was someone you valued as well.
Whenever you saw her, you were reminded of a fatherly figure who you hazily remembered who drunk a lot of alcohol. It was odd, but she too must have sensed the connection, as she took you in as if you were a child of her own ever since she met you. You wished you could go out to see her more.
You opened your mouth to speak, but you heard the faintest of footsteps. Reflexively, you transformed your ears into those of bats and craned them around to hone in on the sound. You tilted your head as you focused before you turned to look at Liu Kang, ears turning back to normal.
“I thought the Lin Kuei were to come later?” You inquired, revealing that you were now aware of their presence. You heard some muttering before the three assassins revealed themselves. Sub Zero, Scorpion, and Smoke. Three of the Lin Kuei you had grown closest to during your association with Liu Kang.
“That was the plan, but we decided to meet up earlier to discuss the plan as we shall leave earlier to get in position to observe.” Liu Kang explained. The two of you turned around to face the three. You smiled at the three. Smoke and Scorpion both bowed to the two of you. Sub Zero, notably, did not, but you did notice the slight nod of acknowledgement sent your way.
“Perceptive as always, and I thought we could finally sneak up on you.” Smoke greeted, addressing you as he spoke your name, a light playful tone to his voice. Smoke was always the friendliest of the three, it was a delight to talk to him. He was the most casual. You noted the slightly irritated glare from Sub Zero sent his way.
You surmised that Smoke had managed to convince the two others to also sneak in. You could not tell whether the irritation was from having to partake in such a silly endeavor, or if it was due to the fact that he blamed Smoke for giving the three of them away.
“Maybe another time, Tomas.” You chuckled, covering your mouth as you did so. Despite your words, you were competitive, and you weren’t planning on giving up in the ongoing game that you had both been playing for a while now. “Regardless, it is good to see you all, it’s been a while.” With that, you nodded towards Liu Kang, letting him go over the plan with the trio.
You observed silently as excitement coursed through your veins.
You had a feeling that tonight was going to be something special.
part two
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cloangi · 4 months ago
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Forsaken
Logans POV from the Pit
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One - The beginning, or the aftermath?
Just when he thought that everything was alright, that everything was over and done with, that they had got their revenge and justice for all those people that had died, for Ajax - it all crumbled down in one minute
Rorke.
How the fuck did he survive?
He remembered Hesh had smashed his skull with a fire extinguisher, he himself had shot him straight in the chest with a twisting speeding bullet, and Rorke was drowned in water almost an instance after the glass broke. How could he survive?
Maybe this is why Rorke was such a dangerous Ghost. Keyword, was. He was no longer a Ghost, he had lost that title a long time ago when he had betrayed the squad. Elias had told him.
But why did he come back even if he did survive all that? Why was he so intent on taking him? Why not his brother? Why not both of them? Shouldn't Rorke have just run back to whatever hole he came out from and went back into hiding and recover from that hit? So why? Why did he take him with him despite everything?
Did he really remind Rorke that much of Elias?
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Two - The Silent Mind
He abruptly coughed dryly as the thoughts in his mind swirled around, lying on his side, choking for those few seconds as he gasped for air.
He was dehydrated. Thirsty and starving. Weak and frail. His throat felt like it was burning, an irritating tightness being felt as the reflex to cough kept attacking him over and over again like raining bullets. Like a thorn was lodged in his throat, and he couldn't get it out, an endless cycle.
Eventually, the coughing fit of a storm calmed down - not without leaving tears in his eyes, that is.
He weakly shifted his head from the side-laying position to look up, eyes bleary. All he could see was that same old metal wire barrier between him and the outside world. It was dark outside, the dark looming trees blocking out any sort of excess moonlight as they silently wavered in the breeze, the scent of all sorts of vegetation and dark mushy wet soil wafting down to him.
It was quiet, too quiet.
Too peaceful. Like the calm after a storm. Expect, he was in the storm still.
He would have used this time to take a moment to collect his thoughts and maybe even get some rest - if only it weren't for the fact that pipes were all up his ass, to clense his bowels, and the dirt ground was crawling with insects. He couldn't lay down even a second without hearing the sounds of those fucking teeny tiny legs scittering and scattering around. It grossed him out, even if those things couldn't exactly hurt him. His limbs were tied, keeping him in place with no way to move around into a better position to avoid the bugs on the ground. Zero proper blood circulation, so he felt tense and tight in place.
He was literally kissing the filt on the floor, even if it was just the side of his face. It smelled like shit, like grime. He really wished he didn't have the sense to smell right now. Didn't it smell worse because one of the Fed's took a piss on him?
Well—not on him, more like near where he was placed. He couldn't remember exactly, though. His mind was fogged up.
He knew this wasn't even the beginning of what he would have to go through. All he knew was that his brother and the entire Ghost Team were coming to save him. They wouldn't leave him behind, now would they? He was sure that they were currently trying to track down his location. Maybe they had already found it and were making a plan to attack - though that was probably a stretch.
He reminded himself to relax, to not get too hopeful or excited. It had only been a couple of months, right? He wasn't too sure as to how much time had passed, but he knew it had a long time judging by the amount of weight and muscle mass he had lost. He knew his hands would be all shaky if he was told to hold a rifle, hell, even the same pistol he used to shoot Rorke would have the same result.
If he was given a mirror, he knew that he wouldn't even be recognizable...would his brother even recognize him after all this? Would he have changed that much?
He tried not to think about the bad parts too intently. He knew the team was working on his case, after all...
No Ghost ever got left behind.
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Three - Denial and Acceptance
Hesh?
Is...is that you?
He couldn't believe it
After so long, he had finally been found
Finally. Finally he would be given freedom and be reunited with the only family he had left. He would tell them all about what the Feds had done to him and they'll all help burn the place down, first was getting him to safety
He waited in the hole patiently, his heart pounding in anticipation. He waited, his body language tense and trembling in faint happiness. He knew he had heard his brother's voice, he swore he also heard that same rumble of Keegan's voice in line with Hesh's.
So, where were they?
His head was spinning as his back slumped against the dirt wall after waiting in place for 10 minutes. Did they lose his trail? Did they retreat? Did they get caught? What happened? There was no way they would leave him here.
No.
No, they weren't like that
Had he been dreaming about them?
No, it couldn't be. It felt too vivid, their voices, to be fake. He hadn't lost his sanity that much, right? Right. There was no way...
...then why would the voices suddenly disappear when he paid attention to them and expected something to happen?
He started to repeat the names of all the Ghosts to himself, mumbling silently from his bloody and cracked lips as his hands clasped together in almost a last attempt of desperation - as if he was praying. The memories of everyone he had flooding his mind like a tidal wave, the more notable memories featuring him and Hesh in the past, before they got into any of this, this whole mess. They had wanted to become something, not immediate soliders. But when Hesh joined, thanks to their dad, he also found himself joining, wanting to follow his brother...
If only he knew that he would be ending up here. And probably end up losing his brother, too. He had already lost his dad due to this job. Who else did he have to lose? Hell, even Ajax was dead. So, who was next? Him?
No.
They wouldn't kill him. He knew Rorke wanted him to himself. That man himself said he wasn't going to let him be a Ghost, ever.
Truly, he wanted to die. To kill himself to end all of this. But he didn't. His brother kept him alive. The idea that survival and freedom were still on the plate for him kept him alive. Even if it was slowly starting to slip away from his fingertips.
Question was, how long could he maintain this for before Rorke ripped his mind apart from the very stem and took a look inside to see what he could tweak and eliminate.
Could Rorke really make him forget who he was? He didn't want to believe it. But he knew what the Fed's were capable of. If someone like Rorke lost his way, there was no doubt that someone like him would have the same fate.
Hopefully, the name "Logan Walker" wouldn't become a former.
Question was, how long his stubbornness could keep him going.
Question was, how long he could resist the Federation's advances.
Question was, how long he could hold on to his identity.
Hopefully, it wouldn't become a lost identity.
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3d-wifey · 1 year ago
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And They'd Find Us in A Week - Chapter 14
Pairing: Finnick Odair x Reader Word Count: 32.5k Synopsis: Here! Playlist: Listen up! Tag list: - @melancholicmelanin, @yvy1s, @glomp-me, @honethatty12, @swftlore, @hashcakes, @antoheartit, @finnickodaddy, @lilifl0wer, @antoheartit, @kermitcrimess, @persophonekarter, @aawdrea, @obaewankenobis, @xyxlyn, @meandurdaughtergotaspecialthing, @innercreationflower, @kisskittenn, @xngelsau A/N: 32.5k....uh, i...this is fucking crazy, years in the making basically. and tumblr let me post all of It!!!!
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Present (XIII)
THE ARENA; THE BEACH (4:10 am—4:23 am)
The female morphling gasps raspily in Peeta’s embrace as he soothes her and Finnick feels fuzzy, blurry around the edges. He turns his back to the display, his gaze sweeping the treeline. He can’t look—won’t look—as she takes her last breath. He doesn’t know her, but he can’t shake that feeling of helplessness. There’s nothing more he can do but watch as she dies. 
Would you have thrown yourself between Peeta and certain death just as readily as she did? Like Mags did? He grips his trident and tries to keep a grip on his sanity as well, but that’s a lot harder to hold on to than the metal in his hands.
The monkeys have all but disappeared back into the jungle. They wouldn’t come onto the beach, toppling over themselves as they snarled and spit at him. Finnick knows he’s threatening, a formidable enemy with his trident wielded as an extension of himself. Still, even he knows that shouldn’t have been enough to intimidate a rabid pack of apes with a preference for the blood of victors.
It was almost like they couldn’t come onto the beach. From what Katniss told him, the fog behaved similarly after they fell down the hill. Billowing upwards along an invisible barrier. 
She was so close to making it. Just a few more feet and Mags…
He feels his throat tighten, tears gathering behind his eyes. His nose will start running any second now, which means it’s a perfect time to collect Katniss’s arrows. He stays on guard, but there’s nothing—not one chitter or screech. He pulls blood-stained arrows out of monkey carcasses with the sound of cannon fire dogging his steps.
SECTION 6 (5:47 am—6:38 am)
You have no idea how long you’ve been roaming, but the sunlight sprinkling through the treetops tells you it’s finally morning. The sun isn't very high, yellow rays don't envelop you. Instead, you stumble under the lethargic blue hue between night and day.
You can see again, fully. That's an obvious plus. But, on the downside, the heat will only get hotter. Not that you’d be able to tell with how hot your injury has already made you. 
It’s gotten worse—you’ve gotten worse. It’s made you hazy, you’ve lost track of time. 
You escaped the blood rain, got separated, fought killer beetles, and skulked around like a fox with a lame paw, hiding in the shadows from any predators looking for an easy kill.
You left behind one of your sickles somewhere in the last mile. Having two weapons seemed like such a good idea when you had other people with you. But after being attacked, wielding them both has only been a nuisance. You could have placed it in one of the belt loops meant for weapons if it didn't pull at and weigh down your tourniquet.
You now hobble along on numb legs as you apply pressure to the wound, pressing your free hand against the blood-soaked cloth you have tied around your waist. 
Between now and the bugs, you had received a sponsor gift. Some sort of thinly sliced dried meat and a seeded roll from Eleven. You hid yourself in the thick underbrush and scarfed it all down; there was no time to savor it while you were so vulnerable.
You’re still vulnerable.
As if being alone in an arena deadset on killing you isn’t bad enough, your injury, and whatever is in it, has you moving at half your normal speed. But, for better or for worse, you haven’t come across anyone else. You know not to expect anyone from your original group, but you haven't seen anyone. Your only company is the pounding in your head, the burning in your side, and the odd little creatures that scamper in the trees. 
You thought, perhaps, you’d come across Chaff and whatever’s left of his group. You know from last night that he didn’t die in the bloodbath. The same can’t be said for the male morphling. You sigh, long and heavy. 
So much for trying to learn his name.
You remember how it felt to see Cecelia’s face in the sky. Cecelia and old man Woof, his mind hardly there but still hellbent on keeping her safe. Your throat reflexively tightens. You hadn’t thought she would make it far, but you had hoped—you shake your head. You don’t know what you hoped for, but you can’t help but think of her three children clinging to her as she was reaped and your own mother’s scream when you volunteered. 
Dropping like flies, all of you.
You stop for yet another break. Eyes squeezed tight as you gasp in the muggy air—you’re winded. Again. You wipe your forearm across your forehead, sweat wetting the dry blood. It runs down your hairline, dripping a salty mixture into your eyes and mouth.
You can’t keep going on like this. At this rate, you’ll succumb to your injuries before anything else kills you, and, had it not been for the revolution, you’d be fine with that. Dying in the arena was your plan as soon as you raised your hand to volunteer. But things are different now; your plans have changed, and you refuse to break your promise to Finnick. The only way out is through. And your only way out is by getting sponsored. 
You can’t mistake survival for self-sacrifice, which is what this is. Survival. You’ll lose no part of yourself in return for their help.
They’re not taking something you haven't already given—that they haven't already taken before. 
You lower your head, feigning exhaustion as you catch your breath, though you don’t have to act much. Subtly, you adjust your hand, ensuring any movement escapes detection. At most, it might look like your fingers are involuntarily twitching, disguising the deliberate pressure you're applying to the wound. The pain makes tears spring to your eyes, but that isn’t enough. They need to feel your anguish like it's their own. With a grimace, you dig deeper. Your body flinches away from the feeling, but you don’t let yourself get far. Your nails, trimmed and well-kept, still manage to cut into the fabric, aggravating and stretching one of the already gaping wounds. 
It's an odd feeling—the strike of pain in a place you never imagined you could feel it, fingers worming around like a flimsy stick wrapped in barbed wire. An even odder feeling to scratch at something that was never meant to be felt.
You sob, abandoning any attempt at stifling your groans and ragged breaths. Tremors wrack your body, muscles spasming weakly under your merciless touch. There's a harsh rasp in your lungs, labored breathing, a tang of something metallic. The relentless pressure sears through you, yet you persist. You continue to wiggle your fingers around until you feel the warm trail of tears tracing your cheeks.
You look to the sky and swallow your pride. You’ve done it your entire life; what’s one more time?
You can imagine how you look now. Your face streaked with tears and blood, a mix of desperation and agony etched upon your features. The rivulets of red fluid mingling with teardrops, tracing sorrowful paths down your cheeks. The pain and exertion must be painting your expression, your eyes wide and brimming with torment, the viscous liquid obscuring the once familiar contours of your face. And you top it off with a pitiful pout.
“Seeder, please—please! I need…I need…somethin’. Any—anythin’.” You hiccup, gesturing toward your likely festering wound. “I need help. I don’t wanna die.” You allow your face to screw up in anguish, really playing it up. After all, it’s not actually Seeder you’re performing for. 
"Please." Your plea, a soft sniffle, is barely audible, and it's almost comical how quickly the package arrives. They were waiting, just like you thought. Waiting for that moment of surrender.
That familiar three-note tune pings from above you. The sponsor gift floats down languidly as if it has all the time in the world, as if you aren't being slowly poisoned. 
You move closer, but it's stopped before it can reach its destination. Instead of falling before you like it should have, the package hangs precariously among the branches. You scan the mess of white, brown, and green. The parachute has gotten tangled in the lower canopies.  
“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me.” You bemoan. 
You stare despairingly up at the package. It tweets that little tune, taunting you from its high perch, and it won’t shut up until you get it. It’ll only draw attention the longer you stall.
From down here, the climb seems daunting, but you’ve climbed higher than this in Eleven when you were younger, starved, and overworked.   
You touch the trunk and the bark is different than what you're used to, but it’s still firm enough that you have faith it’ll hold your weight without breaking. The bark back home is rough and sap-sticky with little to no give. These trees are somewhat slippery and damp from the excess humidity, no doubt. 
You swallow hard against the rising nausea, your fingers gingerly probing the covered wound as you attempt to ground yourself. Your arms tremble as you leave your weapon among the gnarled roots. Your side sears with a raw hurt that pulsates with each breath, made worse and reopened by your little stunt. With that at the forefront of your mind, the urgency of retrieving the parcel tethered between the two trees outweighs the agony.
With gritted teeth, you reach out for nearby branches, using them as anchors. The mud-slicked roots serve as precarious footholds, threatening to betray you with each move. Each upward pull sends fiery jolts through your injured side, but you ignore the throbbing ache, fingers finding purchase in the deep grooves. You wince, fighting against the dizzying waves threatening to overwhelm you. You realize, perhaps a bit late, that you've been overestimating the adrenaline's ability to numb the pain. You claw your way up, inch by agonizing inch. 
It’s within sight and then within reach. It hangs above you. You position yourself a little higher until both feet rest on one branch. You shimmy, your chest pressed against the trunk as you hug the tree with one arm. Your other arm stretches up, fingers barely brushing the bottom of the silver canister. You pant open-mouthed as the stretch brings your attention back to your injury, destroying the brief blissful second you forgot about it as you came upon your gift. 
You relieve the pressure along your side by pushing to your tiptoes, batting at it like a cat, before you’re finally able to get it in your grasp. It’s a dodgy hold at best. Only your thumb, middle finger, and ring finger have any real grip on it as you attempt to shake it from the branches. It’s not enough. The tendon in your forearm flexes as you rock back onto your heels, using your full weight to dislodge it, and it feels like the entirety of your abdomen twinges with the reintroduced stretch.
But the suffering was worth it. You got it, bringing it to your chest, relishing in the feeling of cold metal in your hand. Each breath is a pained gasp as tears blur your vision. Whether they’re from pain or relief is anyone’s guess. You can't help but smile, laughing with each pant. It's a small accomplishment, barely an accomplishment at all, but—"You did it. You fuckin' did it." 
You steady yourself before opening it and reading the attached note.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
A rose by any other name is watered just the same.
You flip it around and it reads:
For the venom. Drink up.
- S
The price of medicine in the Games is nothing to scoff at. And who knows how much the prices may have inflated for a Quarter Quell. You'd like to pretend that one of your higher-end patrons sponsored this. That Seeder pulled this together through numerous donations. 
But you know better. 
Snow is supposed to be impartial regarding who survives in the arena. The president sponsoring someone is unheard of, but you know the man better than most. You know what echoes through that dark abyss he calls a soul. There’s always a way around, a way to cheat if you have enough power. It wouldn’t surprise you if he bent the rules in whatever way benefited him. In fact, you know he did. And it seems your survival benefits him. You’re no use to him dead.
Volunteering wasn’t enough to escape him. You’re alive, because he allows it—in the arena more than ever. Your life isn’t even yours to take. It’s his.
You'd throw up if you could afford to lose the food in your stomach.
You pick up the bottle from the canister. It's clear and about the size of your palm. There’s no label, no indication of what may be in it. You pop the cap and sniff it. It smells herbal, almost minty. When you bring it to your lips and tip it back, it goes down fast, leaving an oily film on your tongue. It has no taste.
You wait. You aren't expecting it to instantly fix you, but wouldn’t it be lovely if it got rid of the nagging ache in your wound and the sheen over your vision? Or maybe just your migraine? 
With a sigh, you close your eyes as you thump your forehead rhythmically against the tree, not helping your headache in the slightest. 
Something is bothering you—something you can’t understand. This antidote. Why would this even be a sponsor gift? Sure, at face value, it’s just medicine—there’s tons of medicine a mentor could send in—but it isn’t, not really. There are salves and sleeping aids—those sorts of things. Things that’ll assist a sick or injured tribute, but they won’t cure them. 
This? This is quite literally a cure. What fun would be in that? Where’s the entertainment value? Wouldn’t betting on the stakes lose its appeal if there was something a mentor could buy to instantly get rid of them? 
Did he…? No. No, he couldn’t have. But nothing else makes sense. He must have had it made after you were attacked. For the venom, he knew exactly what was causing your rapid decline—something that can’t be picked up through the camera. The only reason you know those beetles left a toxin in you is because you feel it. You doubt something like this is even available to buy in the shop. If someone else gets poisoned by those bugs, they’ll no doubt die. But not you. Because of Snow, you’ll survive something that should be a death sentence.
He’s cheating. For you.
You look to the ground and contemplate, only briefly, if a fall from this height, in your current state, would be enough to end it all. If you aim for your head or neck, would it kill you instantly or paralyze you? 
It’s because of these morbid musings that you’re able to catch it—the man barreling through the jungle through vines and low branches—but you surely would have heard him with how loud he is. You freeze like a deer, hardly breathing as he stumbles over his own feet. 
The man from Ten. 
He's not a part of the alliance. And it’s just your luck that he falls below you, crashing face-first onto the ground hard enough for you to wince. He crawls up, panting loudly as he spins in frantic circles before focusing back on the direction he came from. It's almost like he’s being chased—
Whoever is chasing him enters your line of sight like they read your mind. Not who, you correct yourself, because the thing stalking forth is certainly not a person. You see its vague, hulking shape in the low light.
You don’t know if it’s something native to the jungle, a mutation of an existing animal, or a completely original mutt. It’s bipedal, bigger than any human you’ve ever seen. Bigger than any bear you’ve ever seen. 
He’s gonna make a run for it, you can see it in his tense stance. It’s a horrible decision, but the only one he can make. The urge to warn him not to turn his back on that thing, because it will give chase, is strong enough that you have to bite your tongue, iron bursting in your mouth as your canines dig in.
He tries to run again, but, as you predicted, it easily catches up to him with its much longer strides. He dives down to grab something off the ground. A fallen branch—nothing you could have picked up as weak as you are right now. He aims it at his pursuer. 
“No! No! Stay–stay back! Back,” he swings the stick threateningly, unbalanced by its heavy weight, and you remember being in a very similar position in your first Games. Your heart seizes at the reminder. The glassy-eyed desperation in the other tribute as he ran towards your scythe, the sound he made as he held his intestines, the resistance, and then the sudden give of his neck under the knife—you barely register dropping the metal canister, distracted as you are. It tumbles down a branch before getting stuck in its leaves. 
The thing freezes and perks up at the sound, listening intently, before seemingly letting it go. Go for the kill you do have over the one you could.
The man warns it back again, and to the astonishment of both him and you, it listens. A momentary pause follows, during which the beast regards him with an uncanny semblance of animal intelligence, only to abruptly lunge forward. The beast is unnervingly silent as it moves, despite its enormous size. He tries to flee again, but this isn’t the terrain for a fair fight. From this height, it’s hard to tell if his legs get caught on vines or ensnared by a dead log, but he tumbles again. In an eerily swift motion, the creature seizes his waist, effortlessly hoisting him into the air, holding him aloft like he’s a doll.
You watch on in horror as it grabs his shoulder, claws digging into where his upper arm meets the joint of his shoulder blade, and pulls, wrenching his left arm out of the socket. His scream is blood-curdling, echoing back through the trees so clearly that it sounds like jabberjays flying around you. Despite that, it doesn’t drown out the sound of his severed arm hitting the ground.
You’ve heard a mountain lion and their vixen screech before, their mating calls that sound like a woman shrieking in pain. They could be heard from miles and miles away and you would know not to wander too far into the woods for a while. His screams put them to shame.
Its claws are like a hot knife cutting through butter as it tears through his flesh with ease. It shreds muscle and tendons with a sickening squelch. You slap your free hand against your mouth, digging your fingers into your cheek. You want to climb further up to escape having to witness the carnage, but what if it hears you?
You glance down to where you left your weapon on the ground. Why the hell didn’t you bring it with you? If you had, maybe you could’ve helped him. Could’ve thrown it at the beast’s head or dropped it for the man to use. As it is, it’s too far away to be of any use to him. You’re no use to him. You’re helpless. You can do nothing more than watch and you feel sick with this strange, unplaceable guilt. He isn’t your ally, you shouldn’t care, but you do. You care a great deal.
You make the mistake of making eye contact with the man and you wish it were still nighttime. You wish you couldn't see and you were only left with the sounds and your imagination. You wish you hadn't seen the palpable desperation in his eyes. You wish you hadn't looked down and saw a human staring back. 
“Help me! Please!” He lifts his remaining arm towards you as if you can do anything of significance. As if all you need to do to save him is reach down. “Please!” The Beast doesn’t seem to understand English since the man’s pleading doesn’t draw its attention up to you. Or maybe it’s just too busy relishing in its kill. 
“I’m sorry.” You whisper an apology, shaking so hard that you're scared you’ll fall out of the tree. You turn your head away as the Beast starts pulling at the man’s legs, forcing him into a position he shouldn't be in if the series of pops are anything to go by. 
His screams become piercing. You close your eyes, pressing your forehead into the rubbery bark. You’ve never been an awfully curious person or particularly morbid by nature. You’ve never wondered what it sounds like for limbs to be ripped off the body, but now you know. 
Stop. Stop fighting. Just die. Just die, please, just—
There’s a sound of what can only be entrails hitting the ground. 
You whimper, slapping your other hand against your mouth to stifle a sob. Sniffing and chest hiccuping loud enough that it might draw its attention. Luckily, the man’s agonized screams of pain distract the beast.
You start counting, shaky mumbling muffled by your hands. You keep getting interrupted by the wailing from below. 
It takes under two minutes in total for him to stop screaming. Screaming for help, screaming for mercy, screaming for his mother, his father. It’s replaced by the groans of a dying animal, a death rattle mixed with what you can only assume is the beast playing in the mess it’s making. 
It takes another forty-three seconds for the cannon to fire. 
The nearly silent, but not quite, sound of the hovercraft is the only thing that convinces you to open your eyes. You chance a glance down and it is horrific. It’s what you imagine the aftermath of the blood rain looked like. Your brain can’t make sense of it. It’s almost like you’re staring at a complex math problem you never learned to solve. You can only see the numbers and the symbols, but not the equation they’re making up. You can’t see how this barbarity used to be a human being with thoughts, and feelings, and hopes, and dreams, and people who cared about him.
The claw drops down to pick up his remains. The light shines down, and it’s in this faint light that you're able to get a better look at the beast. Its dark blond fur works terribly to hide the blood stains, which it’s covered in. It’s congregated on its hands, arms, stomach, chest, and legs, but not on its face. That has to count for something, right? That it didn’t…didn’t eat him. It has to count for something.
You push yourself flat against the trunk of the tree, but it doesn't even look in your direction. Still, you try to make yourself as small as possible as the giant thing lumbers off. Just in case.
The hovercraft claw drops down five times to collect the man—a leg, another leg, an arm, a torso, a head—
The ground isn’t safe. That much is clear. 
You told Rue she’d be safe in the trees. Maybe you should take your own advice. It takes you a while to finally move. To convince yourself that, while you’re not safe by any stretch of the word, the beast isn’t coming back for you. Your muscles are sore from being tensed up for so long, joints stiff and aching as you move out of your position.
As you push further up the tree, something makes you pause. You strain your hearing, listening closer to your surroundings. It’s completely quiet now. Even when the beast came thundering through, the animals were still around like nothing was amiss. Yet, now, no bugs are chittering, no birds chirp above you, and no small critters scurry in the foliage. The jungle is completely silent. 
It’s strange because it sounded like someone was calling your name, but that can't be right because that voice—
You whip your head to the right. You heard it again. 
You squint, your eyes moving rapidly to spot anything through the underbrush. It's still quite dark—dark enough that it feels like you're peering through a pitch-black pool. But you swear you can see a shape, a black mass stalking through the trees.
And whatever it is, it's calling your name.
You grab an especially thick branch, your stomach turning as you clamber up. It’s a desperate climb as you propel yourself up the tree, ignoring your body’s protests. 
You put your foot in a crevice of the tree trunk, but your wound throbs with the stretch, and your foot slips. You wheeze like you've been punched in the gut, footing faltering on the slippery bark and sending another tremor of agony through your injured side. You react in enough time to tighten your grip so you won't go plummeting to the ground.
You breathe deep and try again, leaning forward to account for the pain in your side.
You grow light-headed as whatever that thing is stalks forward, but by the time it comes close enough for you to see it, you're already perched high on a thick branch—straddling it so you can observe it.
You look down at the animal and big, brown eyes stare up at you. Big, brown human eyes. The light peeking through the trees illuminates its black fur and when it finally stops moving, you're able to get a good look at its face—a familiar face. You don't know how, why, or from fucking where, but you know it. You know that face.
It stands up on its hind legs, clawed front paws leaning on the tree. Not like an animal, it stands almost like it's human and like the beast and—what the fuck is it?
Its collar turns—its collar?
“What the fuck?” You whisper, staring with your mouth agape. Why the fuck is it wearing a collar?
Its collar turns with its movement, revealing the number ‘11’ and the insignia for the district.
It opens its mouth and calls out to you. You see its too human tongue and too human lips fold around the syllables and your ears ring with recognition.
It sounds like, like Rue?
That's exactly who it sounds like and now that you've given a name to the voice, the resemblance jumps out at you.
That's her face, her little face, meshed with the monstrosity of the Capitol. And those are her eyes so big and trusting—so uncanny and so human—that you're almost certain those really are her eyes.
It's horrific and cruel; it's inhumane and revolting—it's the Capitol and its hatred staring up at you.
She couldn't even find peace in death.
You grind your teeth together as it scratches at the tree, its voice growing more desperate the longer you watch it. It—it isn't being aggressive like mutts normally are. Not like the beast from before. It's whining like a dog, like a child, like it's hurt.
"Please, don't leave me down here!"
Your resolve falters. Maybe, maybe they found a way to bring tributes back. Maybe Rue really is in there, trapped. And if she is—
This is what they want. They want to bait you, bring down your defenses, and make you vulnerable. If you go down there, it'll tear you apart instantly. Leave you in pieces.
And if that doesn't work, they'll torture you with her voice. Torment you with what they made her into.
You pull your legs up on the little space the tree provides and close your eyes, ignoring the sting of dried blood cracking apart and retearing your wound open. She doesn't like that; her little voice grows monstrous. You don't bother looking down.
You wish you could cover your ears, but you need to be able to hear if something approaches—something else. 
This is hell.
THE BEACH (10:04 am—9:07 pm)
Johanna has no idea how much time she spent searching for you before she decided to just cut their losses and head towards the beach. And, of course—of course—Beetee became too faint to walk on his own two feet, forcing Johanna to drag him through the vines, underbrush, and whatever the hell else was on the jungle floor. 
Her feet finally sink into the sand and she almost cries. The breeze carries the salty smell of the water and each breath of air is already thinner and cooler than any she’s taken since walking into the jungle. The dramatic shift from solid ground to soft mounds is disorienting but not enough to stop her. She keeps walking forward when she realizes she’s the only one carrying Beetee’s weight anymore. She drops him once they’re a few feet away from the tree line. There’s no telling what else could be in there and he makes for an easy target. She looks down at his blood-caked form, scrutinizing him. His eyes close behind skewed glasses, his face slackens, and—he’s passed out. 
He is completely unconscious. 
“Great. This is just—ugh!” She stomps her foot, kicking up sand. You’ve disappeared off the face of the Earth, Blight is dead, and Beetee is well on his way to being next. “This is shitty. This is so shitty.” She snarls down at Beetee’s unresponsive body—soon to be his unresponsive corpse, she’s sure.
And Wiress—Johanna sighs.
Honestly, she’s surprised Wiress didn’t wander off at some point. Instead, she almost walked herself in circles around Johanna. You’d probably say she reminded you of a bird or something, but if anyone asked her, she’d say it was more gnat-like. Just consistently buzzing nonsense into Johanna’s ear—tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock—God!
Wiress circles near her—gnat, gnat, gnat—and Johanna is fed up with just about everything, but especially this. She shoves the older woman down onto the warm sand and she lands next to her district mate, acting for all the world like she wasn’t just pushed with a considerable amount of Johanna’s strength.
She knows that isn’t what you would do; this isn't how you’d handle the situation if the roles were reversed and you were the one stuck with the invalids. You would probably find a way to treat Beetee's injury so he doesn’t fucking die. Then, you’d tend to Wiress with kid gloves and figure out some way to fix her in the process. But you aren’t here and that’s sort of the entire problem, isn’t it? 
She searched for hours and there’s no sign of you. She’s worried; of course, she’s worried. The number of people Johanna actually gives a shit about can be counted on one hand and she’d still have fingers to spare. You happen to be one of them.
When she first won her Games, Johanna hadn't been looking to make friends. Prickly and irritable, she didn't hold back from making this known. She was condescending and scathing and vindictive—she still is—but you just kept coming back.
And then something changed.
Johanna had made the mistake of underestimating just how much Snow hated when things didn’t go his way—just how much he hated to lose. But Coriolanus Snow always got his pound of flesh, whether it was given willingly or not. 
She refused his offer and her family paid the price. Her mother, her father, and her big sister were all taken from her and killed on the president’s orders—framed as a freak accident with them as the only casualties. At sixteen, she was a victor with nothing but three graves to show for it and a fury burning in her chest like a forest fire, never to be extinguished.
So she lashed out, striking at anyone who got too close to her with cutting words that were meant to hurt as much as she did. She kept her distance and she tried to convince herself that it was much better that way. That being alone was her choice. And yet, you were there. You were there despite how much she claimed to want otherwise. And you brought Finnick along with you.
Finnick, who just so happens to be another one of those counted fingers. What is she supposed to tell him? 
Oh, hi, Finnick. Why isn’t the love of your life with us? Yeah, we kinda lost her hours ago. Absolutely no clue where she might be or if she’s even alive. Oops.
Yeah, fat chance that doesn’t end with him walking into the ocean, never to be seen again.
She knows you’re not dead. She just needs to find you. She refuses to put another finger down.
Johanna stares down at her allies—her dead weight, more like—as Wiress climbs to her feet, heading straight for the water. If the revolution didn’t need these two so badly, she swears she would’ve drowned them herself to get it over with. If it weren’t for them, she could’ve covered more ground in her search for you like she wanted without having to keep a leash on Nuts and carry Volts. That’s the only thing keeping her here on the beach instead of in the jungle looking for you like she wants to. 
“Johanna!”
Her head whips up, looking over her shoulder at the quickly approaching figure. “Finnick!”
The relief is almost blinding. Or at least, it would be if it weren’t for the guilt. He descends the slight hill and she sees him looking for you, eyes searching and finding nothing.
She starts prattling off before he can say anything. She doesn’t know why, maybe to buy herself some time before she’s asked the question she doesn’t want to hear and forced to give him the answer she doesn’t want to give.
“We thought it was rain, you know, because of the lightning, and we were all so thirsty. But when it started coming down, it turned out to be blood. Thick, hot blood.” Just describing it makes her remember it all in disgusting detail, makes her sick. Wiress fluttering around certainly doesn’t help.
“Johanna—”
“You couldn't see, you couldn't speak without getting a mouthful. We just staggered around, trying to get out of it. That's when Blight hit the force field.” She gestures roughly to the jungle, but Finnick is already looking, eyes combing the treeline as if you’ll come hobbling out any second now and she feels a bloody bead of sweat drip down her neck.
“Johanna—”
“He wasn't much, but he was from home.” 
“ Johanna!” He shouts, scaring Nuts into a brief, but blissful silence. Honestly, she’s more surprised he lasted as long as he had without fully cutting her off.
“I’m sorry about Blight, Johanna.” He says, all at once calm again. “Where’s Star?”
Let it be known, Johanna Mason has never found a bush she was willing to beat around, even one as prickly as this. "We lost her in that blood shower." People have called Johanna many things since she became a victor, namely a vindictive bitch—which was more true than not—but no one can ever claim that she’s cruel. She doesn’t enjoy watching the color drain from Finnick’s face, and with it, whatever tentative hope he managed to hold onto. She’s quick to add, “She didn’t hit the forcefield, I know that for sure. It was nearly impossible to see anything, but the hovercraft only picked up Blight.”
Peeta and Katniss come up to them, but no Mags. No response from Finnick either.
“Finnick?” She prods, but he doesn’t reply.
She prepared herself for any reaction he may have. Crying, running off to find you himself, letting himself get carried away by a current, a combination of all three. She doesn’t know what to do with no reaction at all.
He’s silent as he stands alarmingly still, face clear of any discernible emotions. She regards him warily despite her concern winning out over the caution. She’d seen enough animals freeze up just like this before striking. Not that he had ever acted like that before and he’s not the kind of guy to take his anger out on others, but…grief isn’t logical.
Finnick stares off somewhere over her head sightlessly. She might as well be having a conversation with the crashing waves and the salty breeze. He doesn’t answer when she calls his name again. He doesn’t say a thing. And then, all of a sudden, he drops all at once like whatever’s been holding him up has been cut at the root, strings snipped abruptly. 
She and Katniss move forward on instinct to try and catch him, but he crashes down into the sand on his ass faster than either of them can move, his trident landing beside him. She blinks, then blinks again as he collapses in on himself. His back takes on a miserable curve as his elbows lie propped up on his bent knees. He looks completely gutted and Johanna can tell the drastic shift in his behavior has left Katniss confused, but not Peeta. Peeta stares down at Finnick with more pity than she’ll allow herself to show.
"Jesus, Finnick, I'm not saying she's dead. She's just by herself.” Which is almost as good as dead in here. Johanna squats down beside him. She grabs the back of his neck when he won't look up, getting in his face until he has no choice but to meet her eyes. They’re watery and it’s the closest to crying she’s ever seen him. "But she can survive, you know that. She’ll find a way, she always does."
She throws in a scoff like it’s ridiculous that they’re having this conversation in the first place, leaving out the panic she felt when she realized they had lost you. 
“...Right.” He croaks. He doesn’t nod. But he isn’t crying either, so she’ll take it. He sniffs and she worries he’s about to prove her wrong. “Yeah. Yeah, um. You’re right.”
“Let’s just try to stay in one place. Let her find her way to us.” She gives him a pointed look. Meaning no running off.
He doesn’t say anything else. He just continues to stare down at the sand. She'll cut him some slack. After all, she's never loved anyone the way Finnick loves you. She doubts she ever will.
She stands up, getting an armful of Nuts for her troubles, still wet from her dive into the water. Johanna pushes her in another direction that isn’t her personal space. She nudges Beetee with her foot when she notices him slowly gaining consciousness. 
“I got left alone with these two.” She nudges Beetee, who's barely conscious, with her shoe. “I don’t even know if we can consider him alive. And her—”
“Tick, tock. Tick, tock.”
“Yeah, we know. Tick, tock. Nuts is in shock,” Johanna says. This seems to draw Wiress right back in her direction and she careens into Johanna, gripping her and refusing to be steered away again. “Listen, just—stop it.” Johanna manages to get out of her hold, shoving her to the beach. “Just stay down, will you?”
Katniss rushes in and pushes Johanna away, finally opening her big mouth to say, “Hey! Lay off her!” As if Johanna is the one accosting Wiress.
Johanna narrows her eyes. “Lay off her?” She hisses. Before anyone can react, Johanna rears her hand back and slaps Katniss hard enough that her palm stings with it. She could have done it a lot harder and she probably should have for extra measure.
Finnick finally reacts to that, standing up to pull them apart. “Hey, hey, hey!"
He lifts Johanna over his shoulder, but she doesn’t make it easy for him. Twisting and writhing in his hold like a rabid badger as he carries her to the water. And Johanna is so very tempted to chuck her axe at Katniss’s confused face.
“I got them out for you!”
-
The mood amongst the group is rather somber. Wiress was killed right under their nose. Preventive, if they had only been paying attention. Their canary is dead, as Katniss said. But they noticed too late. It’ll cost them somehow, Finnick is sure.
After making sure a waterlogged Beetee is breathing more air than water, Finnick can’t look at him for long. For no reason other than the fact that he can’t stand it. What is there to see other than a man mourning his district mate, his friend? Someone who’s been in his life longer than they haven’t. It sparks a resigned anger in Finnick, an anger that simmers and smolders. An anger that burns but doesn’t have the room to spread. An anger that’ll consume him and only him. He burns for Beetee and himself, for Wiress and Mags. It’s an anger that prays Chaff will survive, or else it’ll consume you too.
Beetee rolls his thin, golden wire between his fingers and Finnick knows he’s thinking of Wiress. He looks away, down at the low-hanging branch he’s leaning against. What is there to do? He won’t apologize to Beetee for his loss, because that means he’ll be acknowledging that he’s lost something too. 
Katniss is the first to speak after a long stretch of silence. "So, besides Brutus and Enobaria, who’s left?”
“Maybe Chaff?”
“Star.” Finnick reminds them. 
Peeta nods. “Just those four.”
“They know they’re outnumbered. I doubt they’ll attack again. We’re safe here on the beach.” Or, at least, safer than they’d be if they made camp in the jungle. 
“So what do we do? We hunt ‘em down?” Johanna asks, still somehow able to make the only viable option sound like the dumbest thing she’s ever heard. An admirable skill. Finnick isn’t that eager to go marching back in there either. He’d much rather stay in one spot to make it easier for you to find them, but there are only two careers left and he’s confident that the four of them could make quick work of Brutus and Enobaria—
“Katniss!” A girl yells Katniss’s name somewhere behind them, somewhere deep in the jungle. He doesn’t recognize it at first, doesn’t understand what’s happening until—
“Prim!” Katniss is up in mere seconds, darting off faster than he’s ever seen her move. He lunges for his trident, rushing after her. This has trap written all over it, using her little sister to lure Katniss away from the group. And here he is running right after her. 
Shit.
Finnick is the fastest out of the five of them, no doubt. It’s no chore at all to catch up to her. Though it would have been impossible to lose her with how loud she screams, “Prim!”
By the time he gets there, the screaming is cut off abruptly. 
“Katniss!” He crashes into the small clearing that she’s stopped in, panting. “You okay?”
Before she even opens her mouth to answer, they’re interrupted. The shrill screech that rings throughout the jungle isn’t Prim’s. It’s—
“Annie?” He asks, but he knows those screams and they are without a doubt Annie’s. She screams again as if to answer him and his heart drops. He doesn’t think, doesn’t have time to before he’s running. “Annie!”
He chases the sound of her voice deeper into the jungle, but it feels like he’s simultaneously getting closer and further away. “Annie! Annie!"
“Finnick! It’s not her! It’s just a jabberjay. It’s not her.” Katniss says as she catches up to him, but that does nothing to soothe him.
“Well, where do you think they got that sound? Jabberjays copy.”
“You don’t think…?”
He doesn’t bother answering, chest heaving, because he does think. He knew the Quarter Quell would be a death sentence for more than just him and Mags. He knew that despite her many triumphs and growth since her Games, Annie wouldn’t make it alone—not yet. But this ? This is a worse fate than he could have ever imagined for her. 
“Katniss!” This voice is different from the other two, more masculine. Finnick doesn’t recognize it, but Katniss must if the fear in her eyes is anything to go off of.
“Gale.” She whispers, and that’s when the birds stop hiding.
His eye twitches at the next scream, his shoulders hunching closer to his ears. “Finnick! Finnick, please!”
“Star?” Your name falls off his lips as a faint whisper, but it feels like a razorblade as he forces it out of his throat. Because putting your name to that tortured voice is torture in and of itself.
But that doesn’t…how could they have—if, if you’re here, then how would—But he doesn’t know that for sure, does he? He doesn’t know where you are, does he? None of them do. He wouldn’t put it past Snow. 
He could see it now: Snow plucking you out of the arena during the bloody chaos, dragging you kicking and screaming somewhere deep in the walls of the Capitol, and letting animals in lab coats draw these horrible sounds from you. There really is no limit to his sadism, is there? There’s no line he won’t destroy as he crosses it.
The birds start diving low to pinch at their skin, pull their hair, and strike at them with their wings. He tries to swat them away when dodging doesn’t work before realizing the only way out of this will be by getting out of the four o’clock wedge, like with the fog and the monkeys.
“Come on, come on, come on!” He shouts, pushing Katniss to run back the way they came from and he can barely hear himself despite the way his vocal cords protest at how loud he yells. They run—sprint away from the birds, unsuccessfully. They draw blood but the wounds the jabberjays leave are more than skin deep. When they finally spot the others, Finnick almost feels the relief viscerally. 
It’s this that makes him blind to the fact that the other three don’t approach them, that they hold their hands up to tell them to stop. He only sees it when he runs face-first into the barrier with a crunch of something important. He groans, barely catching himself from falling on his ass. His eyes water as something warm and metallic dips into his mouth and he doesn’t need to touch his face to know his nose is bleeding.
They try to get Finnick and Katniss out from the other side with their weapons as Beetee stares on with palpable sadness. It’s a good effort, Johanna with her axe and Peeta with his machete, but they don’t even make a dent. He’s stuck here for the next hour. When that sinks in, Finnick can’t stop his ears from listening to the screams around him.
“Help me, Finnick! Please!”
“Finnick!”
Finnick stumbles backward over his own feet as he stares up at the hundreds—thousands of jabberjays circling above them. The sheer number of them, they almost paint the sky black. Some fly just out of reach, tauntingly, while others settle into tree branches. But they all open their mouths to sing a cacophony of horror. He looks over at Katniss and he knows she’s screaming. He can’t hear it, but he can see it in the way her entire body quakes as she bangs on the barrier. 
The wails of pain are deafening and he gives up before Katniss does, dropping to the floor. Finnick hunches over, making himself smaller as he clenches his hands over his ears and digs his nails into his scalp, hoping the pain will distract him. It doesn’t. He presses the heels of his palms into his skull and the throbbing ache does nothing to take him out of the moment. 
He’s trapped.
Even though there must be at least five voices surrounding him, including Katniss’s, Finnick can only focus on two. He only hears you and Annie, your begs and screams swimming together to grate against the confines of his skull. He apologizes but it’s more of a vibration in his chest than any sound said aloud. He tries to think, but he can’t, he can’t—can’t think of anything else. What could they have done to make you scream and plead and cry like this, reaching out for him when he can never reach back? Helpless, yet again, as you and Annie are tortured. 
He’s helpless and he’s hopeless and Finnick sobs, his forehead thudding against the ground over and over. He imagines your hand rubbing his back soothingly as you run fingers through his hair and it only makes him cry harder, chest rocking with painful hiccups.  
-
Coming to the beach feels like admitting defeat, but your chances of survival in that jungle decrease substantially the longer you stay there. You don’t know how long you cowered in that tree, but you know you stayed long after the Rue mutt went silent. 
You limp along in the sand. Your only hope is that you’ll spot Finnick when he comes to the water to fish. That’s when you hear it. A masculine voice yelling, screaming something. You poise yourself to start running in the opposite direction. You don’t know who’s left, but it would be difficult to take on Gloss or Brutus even if you weren’t injured. Something makes you stop though, something tells you to listen. You can’t make out what he’s saying, but you can make out who’s saying it. 
Peeta!
Your feet carry you back into the jungle, tripping over your boots and vines and anything else in your path, but you don’t fall. You don’t allow yourself to. You speed up the louder Peeta’s voice becomes, closer and closer and closer until you see them. 
You don’t quite understand what it is you’re looking at. Beetee looks to the sky underneath his glasses, scanning for something. Johanna is slamming her axe against a clear barrier, clear like what you saw the beetles bumping into. And you were right, Peeta is the one screaming. 
Johanna spins around as you approach and her eyes light up at the sight of you.
“You found us.” She pants, axe falling to her side. “Oh, thank God.” She moves and it’s only then that you see him.
Finnick is curled up on the ground with his hands covering his ears.
“Finnick!” You rush forward, falling to your knees without a second thought, reaching for him and meeting nothing. “Finnick, it’s me!” You bang your fist against the barrier but it’s like he can’t even hear you.
“Jabberyjays,” Johanna says from behind you, and, suddenly, you understand.
You don’t take your eyes off of him, to do so feels like you’re leaving him in there alone. It becomes even clearer why Peeta is yelling, because curled beside Finnick sits Katniss. Peeta’s yelling, because he’s trying to be louder than whatever voices are being used to torment her. 
This isn’t how you wanted to reunite with Finnick, but, you sigh shakily, blinking back the water in your eyes, you’re so damn glad to see him. 
“It’s no use.” Johanna huffs, you feel her pacing behind you. “He can’t hear any thing, not even you.” That may be true, but seeing him in such a state is making you desperate in your panic. 
“But he can read my lips.” You realize, you just need to get his attention. He needs to know you’re here, that’s it. You don’t know how long you kneel on the ground yelling, screaming yourself hoarse alongside Peeta, focused only on Finnick. But, by some miracle, something makes him look up. Maybe he can feel you, sense that you’re there—regardless, he looks up and you smile, laughing in relief. 
He’s crying, tears making tracks in the dirt along his face and it breaks your heart. There are a few scratches along the right side of his face and there’s crusted blood under his nose. The birds got him good and you don’t just mean physically. 
He stares at you like he doesn’t believe you’re really there. Like he can trust what his eyes see as much as what his ears hear. 
“Finnick! Finnick, baby, it’s not real.” You enunciate, shaking your head rapidly. “It’s not real.”
Star? He mouths and you nod eagerly, pressing your forehead to the transparent wall. He clambers up, shuffling forward to copy you. He presses his big hands to your smaller ones, forehead to forehead. His eyes slip closed, lips quivering and you can see the same relief you feel shake through him. His shoulders quake with his sobs, but his eyes don’t stay off of you for long. He’s scared to look away from you, you can tell. 
You take in a deep breath, and then another, each one less unsteady than the last. Telling yourself not to cry proves to be fruitless. You can only imagine what it is he’s hearing.
“Remember when I ate fish for the first time? I think you had just turned eighteen—no, nineteen and, I don’t even know how it came up, but I told you I never had fish before and you were appalled.” A small crease develops between his brows as he watches your lips, but eventually, he nods, beautiful eyes flickering up to yours. They almost look gray whenever he cries, a glossy film muting the color. But they’re still breathtaking. A thousand and one poems, you think. “You made me try more fish than I even knew existed and I ended up throwing up over the balcony. And, and you felt so bad, and you kept apologizing, but I couldn’t stop laughing at the idea of some Capitol elite wearing my puke as a hat. Do you remember that, Finn?” He blinks a few times before his mouth tilts into a small smile, one you don’t even realize you copy. 
Yeah, sweetheart. I remember. 
Your heart flutters at the pet name even after all this time. 
You go on like that, saying whatever comes to mind with Finnick watching your lips carefully, reverently like your words are the only thing keeping him upright for twenty minutes, thirty minutes, maybe even forty. 
“The hour’s up,” Peeta says, relieved, though you aren’t sure what he’s talking about. But then the jabberjays start falling to the ground dead, wings flapping pitifully before they still, and you know it’s coming to an end. It’s an unnerving sight. Not that Finnick notices with how closely he watches you. “The hour’s up.”
Something shifts. The air goes still and then, suddenly, you feel warm callused skin under your hands and a damp forehead against your own. Finnick falls into you, his big frame feeling incredibly small in your embrace as he trembles. 
“Star.” He breathes almost mournfully. 
“Hey, baby.” You grin, taking his face into your hands. You rub blood-smeared thumbs along his cheeks. His eyes are puffy and you want to kiss them. Something rushes over you, because you can do that. There’s no reason not to now. You’re not acting for the cameras anymore, not hiding anything to make your patrons feel special. You’re together now, they can’t use you against each other as punishment. You lean forward and he closes his eyes like he already knows what you’re going to do.
Or maybe it’s a case of your desires syncing up so intrinsically that you’ll know what the other will do without being told. 
Just like it used to be.
You press your lips against each of his eyelids, savoring the feeling. You pull back—he freezes momentarily, probably at the thought of you letting him go—but only enough to see his face clearly. “Are you alright? You okay?” He doesn’t have to say anything for you to know the answer is no.
You wind your arms around his shoulders and he buries his face into your neck. You whisper reassurances into his ear, running your fingers through the hair curling along the back of his nape. One of his hands reaches up to grip your bicep while he folds his other arm around your waist.
You look over to see Peeta comforting Katniss, coaxing her out of the protective ball she’s curled herself into. “It’s over. It’s okay. They’re gone. The hour’s gone. The hour’s up. It’s alright.”
She jumps, gasping once he touches her. 
“Prim! Find Prim!” She yells, to your slight confusion. 
“No, no. Prim’s okay.” He reassures her and, though seemingly impossible, Finnick’s grasp on you tightens.
“They used your voice.” He says into your neck. Your voice? Why would they do that when it’s something so easily disproven? And why your voice specifically? Another protocol broken by Snow? You wouldn’t be surprised. You’ve got more questions than answers and the only person that can answer them is the last man you’d want to speak to again. “Yours and Annie’s. I-I thought, I thought you were gone. I,” he inhales, “I thought they took you.” He croaks despairingly and you just might start crying again.
“I’m right here, Finn. No one’s gonna take me.” You whisper, a promise meant for his ears only as you curl around him protectively.  
“Okay? They won’t touch Prim. Alright?” Peeta talks her down and you wish you could help.
“It was fake.” You say, loud enough for the others to hear. Their gazes swing to you. “Apparently, it’s not hard to take a regular recording of someone’s voice and—”
“Modify it,” Beetee picks up, nodding in agreement. He was the one who told you about it a few years back. It has always stuck with you. It made your skin itch then and it makes your skin sting now. “Change the context, in a way. Our children learn a similar technique in school. Fairly young, at that.”
“Your fiance’s right. The whole country loves your sister. If they tortured her or did anything to her, forget the districts, there would be… riots in the damn Capitol.” Johanna attempts to help in her own blunt way, but there’s an undercurrent of jealousy. Something every victor must feel. You know you do. What makes Katniss’s family more lovable than your own? Doesn’t your mom deserve the protection that comes with that kind of public acclaim? That safety net? A part of you hates how envious you are of Prim, this little girl, but it can’t be helped.
“Hey, how does that sound, Snow? What if we, what if we set your backyard on fire?! You know you can’t put everybody in here!” She shouts to the sky. You all stare at her, silent. Even Finnick who still clings to you watches her. “What? They can’t hurt me. There’s no one left that I love.” You know that to be tragically true. 
When it happened, it spread amongst the pool of victors like a plague. A factory fire in Seven? The same district whose entire industry is lumber just so happened to be negligent enough that a fire started in one of their sawmills? Only killing three people, no less?
Snow has never been subtle, not when it falls and not when it sticks. Not when it builds and certainly not when it traps. He’s much like his namesake in that way. But he has no need for subtlety. Not when he’s exacting his own special brand of justice. Not when he’s teaching someone a lesson. Because a lesson for one of you is a lesson for you all.
He attempted to trap her just like you feared he would and Johanna told him no, perhaps very loudly and colorfully. She told you she doesn’t regret it, she only regrets that Snow took it out on her family. And that she didn’t curse him out more before she was escorted out. Johanna Mason has always been the bravest girl you know.
She huffs like a bull. “I’ll get you some water. You too.” She points her axe to you before she storms off. You almost forgot how thirsty you are. 
-
Finnick can’t sit in this jungle anymore surrounded by these fucking birds, even if they are dead. 
He needs to go back to the beach, back to the water. He doesn’t say any of that, and yet you stand, pulling him up with you. He grabs both his trident and your sickle in one hand while you intertwine your fingers with his. He doesn’t ask where you’re leading him, because he’d follow you anywhere. Beetee follows with Katniss and Peeta not far behind. 
His nerves feel raw and exposed, but seeing you, holding you loosens a knot between his shoulder blades. He doesn’t know how he would have fared after the jabberjays if you weren’t there. If he couldn’t get some kind of confirmation that you were okay. If you weren’t there to hold him together. 
They clear the jungle, stepping onto the beach and he sweeps for enemies. When he sees none, he buries the hilt of his trident into the sand and lays your weapon next to it. He notices something as you pull him to the water. 
He looks down at the hand he had wrapped around your sickle to see…blood. You held his face earlier. He uses the back of his hand to rub at one of his cheeks. He pulls back and sees—blood. He thought it was just sweat but both of your hands are covered in fresh blood.
The blood rain your group got caught in happened hours ago, it should be dried and tacky by now. So unless you’ve had the severe misfortune of being caught in it twice—
He stands still, pulling you to a stop.
"How much of this blood is yours?" He asks, dreading the answer. Already, he looks you over, but it’s hard to find anything amiss when you’re drenched like this. You stare up at him confused, brows furrowed before they raise in realization. 
“Oh!” 
Oh? What does ‘oh’ mean? ‘Oh’ isn’t what he wants to hear. ‘Oh’ sounds nothing like ‘none at all, Finn’. ‘Oh’ suggests something substantial that you remembered, ‘oh’ means bad.
"More than you would like." You shrug indifferently like your words aren't kickstarting Finnick's heartbeat double-time. He looks you over again and finds that you’re favoring your right side.
"Let me see."
You sigh, reaching down to your waist. You’ve tied your sleeves together in a tourniquet. You grit your teeth as you untie it and he winces as the cut on his thigh twinges in sympathy. He squats down to get a better look, carefully pulling back the sticky fabric of your shirt and cursing. 
God.  
What could do this? He raises his other hand to your back to steady you. The wounds are, he doesn’t want to say bad, but they’re far from good. There’s no discoloration to suggest infection, he thinks. There’s harsh bruising, but that’s normal, right? It’s to be expected for any injury. There’s nothing to suggest that it’ll kill you. 
He looks up at you and you seem fine, all things considered. You know more about medicine than he does and you would tell him if this was fatal.
The two crooked circles make him queasy to look at, but at least you aren’t bleeding any more. Your entire side is covered in your blood, so that doesn’t promote much confidence. There’s loose skin and jagged cuts and, and…
He tries not to outwardly show how freaked out he is, he doesn’t want to scare you, but, of course, you can tell anyway.
“I’m alright.” You place a bloody hand on his head, lacing bloody fingers in his hair.
He looks between you and the wound in disbelief. This does not look alright. 
He shakes his head, stunned. And more than a little amazed. “How could you forget about this? Even for a second?”
“I saw you.” You say and smile and he knows you’d shrug if it didn’t hurt so much. “And, I, uh, I guess it…it didn’t seem that important. At the time.”
“Star,” he scolds, despite the way his chest feels tight and his eyes feel scratchy with the need to cry again because this is very important. 
But. 
He felt the exact same way when he saw you. He doesn’t know what told him to look up at that moment, doesn’t know what made him lift his forehead from where he pressed it into the dirt, but he did. And there you were. And he could suddenly hear again. Not the screams of pain and anguish around him, but you. He read your lips as you talked and it was like you were beside him, he could almost hear you. The real you. The you that the jabberjays couldn’t mimic. He could feel again and it wasn’t the feathered wings hitting him or the tears trailing down his face. It was you. You were there and that meant nothing else mattered because you were there.
Even now as he stares up at you, at the way you glow under the sunlight, he can barely feel the sting on his cheek from a jabberjay’s talons that got too close for comfort.  
He looks back down at the wound before your beauty can further distract him and frowns.
“What happened to you, sweetheart? Another victor?” He asks, but he can’t even think of what kind of weapon could do this kind of damage.
You sigh wearily. 
“No. No, nothing that simple. I’ll explain later, I promise. C’mon.” You pull at his wrist and he stands. “Come help me wash all of this shit off.” He’s conflicted. You do need to clean up, but he doesn’t know if you should be so blasé about this. He looks over his shoulder at where the others sit a few feet away.
“Okay. But we need to get that taken care of, Star.”
“Of course, Finn.”
“Katniss helped Beetee. With, like, moss. And…Water and stuff. He was in much worse shape, so she can definitely help you.” You let him ramble.
“Okay, Finn.”
-
Katniss sits in the sand, warm despite the permanent chill the jabberjays have left behind. She jumps at the sound of metal on metal, an arrow being added to her quiver. She looks up and behind her at Johanna’s smug face, probably getting a particular kick out of scaring her. 
She hands Katniss an opened coconut full of water and she takes it hesitantly, still more than a little confused about where the two of them stand. “Thank you.”
Johanna says nothing back, not that she expected her to. Instead, she picks up a stray stick and sits to the left of her. 
"What's the deal with those two?" She asks, running the risk of sounding like one of the older women back in Twelve—as rare as they are—who loved to gossip. Not that there was ever anything to gossip about in the Seam. Katniss thinks they just liked the distraction.
Johanna glances up at her before looking to where you and Finnick sit in the water a foot or two away from the shore. Or, more accurately, Finnick sits in the water as you lay across his lap. He washes the blood off of you with the kind of gentleness Katniss thought he only had reserved for Mags. He takes your face between his hands, seemingly taking a moment just to look at you, and the exact nature of your relationship only further complicates in Katniss' mind.
"What isn't the deal with them," the older girl throws the stick a couple of feet, giving up on whatever she was trying to draw. "They won their Games so young, fourteen and fifteen. They practically grew up in the Capitol together. You don't go through half the shit they've been through without growing a little attached."
Ah. She can believe that. You won your Games before her father died, so she remembers some of the fanfare—the interviews you and Finnick used to do together, all of which were projected in the town square, had always confused her. From what she learned in school, Four and Eleven couldn’t be any more different. What was the point of pairing you two together? 
She isn’t a strategist like Peeta, she can admit it’s not her strong suit. But if she thinks less like the districts and more like a victor, it makes sense.
Two victors who are close in age, both attractive and charismatic. Who wouldn’t want to see them together? Usually, victors from the same district get paired together for their television appearances, but neither Four or Eleven had another victor appropriate for public consumption, either too old or too crazy. 
“Hmm.”
When she was younger, she imagined victors like you and Finnick—pretty, charming, well-loved—were living the dream. 
But if two of the most beloved and revered victors are miserable, what chance did she and Peeta stand? No, she knows the answer to that. She doesn’t have a chance. She can’t handle it, the Capitol. She’s barely been subjected to it for a year, and even then, that’s only the tip of the knife.  
You were right, she realizes. In comparison to you and Finnick who’ve been on this ride for nearly a decade, she’s incredibly lucky. She’s already slipped up once, and it cost a man his life.
The weight of Snow’s threat looms over her and without the Quell, it would have only been a matter of time before she did something else to displease him. But Peeta knows how to play the game, he knows how to sway the audience. He came up with the romance, with the baby. It took her some time to understand the significance of those two plays, but she gets it now. She couldn’t have done that, couldn’t have possibly thought to.
Nobody worries about Peeta and whether or not he's selling the romance. She's the risk factor here.
Yet another reason why he should be the one making it out of here and not her.
"Then what happened?" They didn't act this close during training. In fact, while she was unsure of Finnick's intentions, Katniss was almost certain you hated him. That was partially the reason she found it so hard to trust him. 
"The same thing that always happens when Snow sniffs out that someone has an ounce of happiness. He cut it at the root.” Katniss attempts to understand the implications of that statement. How much is she not saying? Suddenly, Katniss glances to the sky, remembering all at once where they are and that this conversation is far from private. How much can she say? She looks back to where you and Finnick have huddled even closer together, noses nearly brushing. She’s too far away to hear the conversation, but she can tell from here that whatever is being said is done in a whisper. As soft as freshly hung sheets drying in the sun. Maybe softer. 
You two are a mystery she hadn’t even been aware of. And maybe it isn’t her place to try and solve it, but she knows one thing for certain. It’s becoming increasingly clear that the only real victor is Snow.
Suddenly Johanna sighs, long and weary like the old bloodhound Katniss used to stop and pet when she sold her catches in the merchant area. “Love is weird.”
-
“So it’s a big clock?”
“Yep.” The water has become a murky red, just diluted enough to not be opaque. “Wiress figured it out—in her own special way.” He didn’t think twice about her weird little chanting. There was too much going on in his own head to wonder about hers.
He can’t dip you into the water like he did Johanna. It would be far from productive and certainly less fun. You need a gentle hand and he’s more than happy to provide.
He’s heard of saltwater washes being used for wounds, but that might be a little different from the water in the arena. There’s sea life swimming around, which means bacteria. Not to mention the blood of victors unlucky enough to be slaughtered during the bloodbath. All of which will open you up to an infection. 
So instead, he thought it best to lay you horizontally across his lap, propping your torso up to keep your wound dry. 
“That makes so much sense. It feels so damn obvious now.” You scoff, shaking your head. 
He smiles and says, “I’m sure you could’ve figured it out too.” 
You huff. “Mhm. Sure.”
The blood comes off of you in thick clots before disintegrating in the water. The real problem presents itself when he attempts to wash it out of your hair. The blood sits heavy and congealed in your curls, oily enough that rinsing it out proves nigh impossible. The salt in the water helps, but only barely. 
Finnick’s fingers are gentle as he works, diligent yet soothing. You inhale, relaxing into him. He finds himself hunching over you protectively, curling his body over yours like a shield. 
“and…Wiress?” You ask, not so much about her absence. It isn’t hard to guess what the absence of a woman like that means in a place like this. It’s what caused said absence that you’re after. Finnick sighs.
“The careers came. Snuck up on us while we were busy mapping out the arena. And then Gloss ran a knife through her neck.” He says. He knows you wouldn’t want him to spare you from the details. You asked him because you want to know.
“Oh.” You say, the subtle waves withdrawing and climbing around your shoulders and your head. It might get in your ears. Should he scoot back? Maybe further up the beach? “How’s Beetee taking it?”
“He’s…taking it. The man’s a robot.” He grumbles with less snide than it should have come out. The people expect him to be catty, but Finnick’s been declawed for a long time now. Your eyes stay closed but there’s disapproval written in your brow. Because you know him. You know where to look when he’s hiding.
“Finnick…” You sigh, and he sniffs.
“I don’t know. I guess…he didn’t really think she’d make it.”
“I’m sure he hoped though—that it wouldn’t be so violent, I mean.” You peek an eye open as you catch yourself before relaxing again. He chuckles. And then he remembers where he is.
There was an agreement, something all the victors wanted if they were going to do something as risky as openly rebelling. Immunity for their loved ones. Plutarch agreed to make it a priority ‘if possible’. He knows you asked for your mom, the same way he asked for Annie. But Beetee came into the arena with the only person he cared about. He doesn’t think Beetee has any family other than Wiress. And now, other than you and Annie, Finnick doesn’t either. 
“Yeah. Well. See how well that hope worked out for him.” Instead of replying, not that there’s really anything to say to that, you grasp his hand tenderly, pressing a kiss to it. You open your eyes to look up at him, lips pressed to his knuckles and he can feel the apples of his cheeks along with the shell of his ears go warm, flushing with something other than the heat. It’s not that he isn’t used to physical affection from you, he’s getting reacquainted with it. All while being on national TV. Caesar’s gonna have a field day with this. He wonders how he and his odd little cohost are narrating this, but his mind doesn’t stay on them for long. You let your lips linger, idly drifting to the tips of his fingers, and the muscle in his hand flexes with an impulse he can’t quite explain. Though he is particularly distracted by the drag of your lips against his skin as you talk.  
“I’m sorry about Mags, Finn.” His lips twitch downward. 
“Me too.” You didn’t get nearly enough time with Mags. It adds insult to injury. 
It’s quiet. But it’s not heavy like he’s gotten used to it being since they’ve entered the arena. It’s light, there’s nothing expected of either him or you. He can breathe. The salty smell of seawater calms him almost as much as your humming does. He recognizes it as one of the songs you composed.
“This is technically an ocean, isn’t it?” He pauses, looks around, considers it. 
“I guess you could call it that. Albeit, a rather small one.”
“And, that would make this a beach then? Right?” Your mouth twitches, you’re trying not to smile. He rubs his thumb along your cheek because he wants you to.
You sit up with a little difficulty that you try to hide. He sees it, because he always sees you, and helps you sit beside him. He’s been done for quite some time now. He just wanted to keep touching you. Making sure you’re real, and you’re here with him. In your time apart, he forgot that he didn’t need to find his own assurance. All he had to do was ask. He holds out his left hand and you take it.
“It’s the first I’ve ever seen in person. I haven’t had the chance to take it all in considering, well, y’know.” You laugh and Finnick assumes the birds can only listen in jealousy. Not even they can sing a song as sweet as that. “I could do without the circumstances that led up to it, but, hey.” You nudge your shoulder into his and stay there, sides pressed together, and he leans into you. “We’re here, aren’t we? We’re side by side in the sand.”
His head tilts in confusion before his eyes widen. Side by side in the sand, just like he wanted all those years ago. A childish wish that never stood a chance of coming true, but a wish he sent to you in a letter all the same. Looking back, that sort of hope should have been drained from him—it had been drained from him. But not with you. No, hope is your currency and Finnick had been in massive debt before he met you. 
He wants to kiss you. He wants to kiss you more than he’s wanted anything in his entire life, it seems. It’s been a long two years and, before that, a long couple of months. He needs to kiss you and, he realizes with a buzz of excitement that he can.
“Star?” He coos, tracing circles on your palm. You hum in reply, turning away from the view to look at him. He leans forward, closing the distance between you, and finds you more than eager. His lips meet yours in a tender, slow kiss, a culmination of two years' worth of longing. One hand goes to the back of your head to pull you closer, the other goes to your jaw. It’s always been easy for the two of you to get carried away, to get lost and found in each other.
The softness of your lips against his ignites a flame that had been dormant for too long. Time seems to stand still as the world fades away, leaving only the sensation of your touch and the caress of the sea breeze. He’s a symphony of emotions—passion, longing, and the sweet relief of finally coming home. The taste of salt from the sea mingles with the sweetness of something familiar, creating a flavor that is uniquely yours. It’s a rediscovery of something he feared might be lost. 
As he pulls away, the echo of the kiss lingers in the air. He’s slow to open his eyes, but when he does, they lock onto yours. The entirety of Panem has witnessed your reunion. And he’s still holding you close. Pride probably isn’t the right emotion to feel right now. But the way you look now, lips wet with spit and slightly open as you stare at him with open awe, like he’s something to be admired, says otherwise. 
He and his silver tongue grasp and flounder for something to say. He wants to tell you how beautiful you look, how beautiful you always look, even when covered in scrapes and the Capitol’s vitriol. But that’s obvious in the way he’s gazing at you. Hasn’t been able to look away from you.
He wants to tell you how thankful he is that you’re finally here with him, but that’s obvious in the way he’s kept a hand on you—always touching somehow since that barrier came down. He wants to say all that and more, ardently and profusely, but you already know how the sky is blue. Instead, he says something you don’t know.
“I saw a monkey.”
 You grin in excitement, still so close that he can feel it against his own smile. “Really?” 
-
The two of you fall back into step with each other, synchronous like no time or space has passed between you at all.
What they know so far is enough to keep them alive. The arena is a clock and each section houses a special horror that rears its head twice a day. Twelve to One, Lightening. One to Two, Blood Rain. Three to Four, fog. Four to Five, monkeys. Five to Six, jabberjays. With you here, they’re able to map out two other sections. 
You explain to them the other active wedges you’ve been through. In the wedge between the blood and fog, Two to Three, you draw a crude circle with spikes. 
Finnick tilts his head. And then tilts it in the other direction. "Pineapples?" He guesses. 
"No," you say with an offended pout. "Beetles."
"Right." He nods like that was his second guess.
“Venomous.” You add.
“Venomous?”
He regards your wound with a new kind of fear. It’s not just infection that you’re fighting, but now there’s venom working through your bloodstream? Finnick’s ears ring for a second, out of tempo with his elevated heartbeat. He looks you over. It isn’t like he didn’t notice how drawn and fatigued you look, but now he can attribute it to something deeper than just the arena draining you. 
A surge of panic seizes his chest. The image of you in pain, alone and vulnerable, haunts him. His grip on his composure fluctuates as he struggles to comprehend the new threat for what it is. For what it’ll do to you. But before his anxiety can fully manifest into something he can’t predict, your eyes meet his over your shoulder. Silent reassurance is given while a wordless plea for his composure is asked for in return. 
The warmth of your presence soothes and settles him. 
You turn back to the group, addressing them calmly about something that should normally cause the exact opposite of calm. 
“The beetle’s venom is poisonous, but I was… fortunate. A Sponsor sent in an antidote.” Finnick’s eyebrows furrow. A mixture of relief and bewilderment clouds his features. He meets Johanna and Beetee’s eyes and finds that same relieved confusion reflected back at him. A sponsor gift like that shouldn’t be possible. Your touch grazes his arm gently, and the value of that kind of gift is only lost on Katniss and Peeta. As well as the realization of who could pull off such a thing. Who has enough money, enough power, enough sway to have such a gift at the ready and sent into the arena? Who else but their president? Who else but Coriolanus Snow?
Finnick feels sick at the realization, a queasy anger that's unfortunately laced with gratitude. Because Finnick Odair refuses to be thankful to Snow for anything. His brain knows that—swears by it. But you place a hand over the one he has resting on your shoulder, a reminder that you’re here when it so easily could have ended differently. He can be grateful for your resilience, your strength. And that has nothing to do with Snow.
The group says nothing for a while. Peeta and Katniss look around in bemusement, look at each other, and then look around again.
Briefly, you look to the sky, the back of your head pressing into his stomach, and Finnick copies you. He looks up and sees nothing but an artificial blue sky with formulated clouds drifting by, but he knows you see something different. 
A bird squawks in the distance and Finnick stiffens. But it's not a jabberjay. Only a seagull. 
“The sun had just started to rise, so…here.” You say, finally coming back down to Earth. You point at the Six and Seven o’clock wedge in Peeta’s rough sketch of the arena. “There are multiple mutts here. All of them monstrous.” You say as if it’s something you were taught, not something you know for certain. Detachment. 
“Well?” Johanna prompts. “You can’t just say something like that and not elaborate.” She pokes and he glares at her. He has half a mind to scold her for pushing you, for poking at a crack in a glass just to see what’ll spill out. 
“What?” She asks, incredulous at the lack of support for her probing. “What’s the point of mapping any of this shit out if we don’t even know what we’re looking for?” She huffs.
“You don’t have to—”
“It’s fine. It’s fine.” You cut Peeta off. Exhaling sharply, you start, pause, and then start again. “There’s a beast. It’s twice the size of a normal man and covered with fur. It walked on two legs and it was strong. Like, like a human-bear hybrid. I wouldn’t believe it myself if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, but it tore the man from Ten apart. In the most literal sense. The claw had to dip down four more times to collect all of him.”
“God.” Finnick places a hand on your shoulder, thumb rubbing soothing circles along your nape. He can’t imagine it, doesn’t want to imagine it. Because if he does, it would be all too easy to imagine you in the man’s place as Finnick is forced to watch. He takes a deep breath and squeezes your shoulder momentarily. 
“...Alright then.” Peeta is the first to speak after a short silence. “Beast, six to seven o’clock—” 
“ Beasts.” You correct, not rudely. “There’s, um, there’s more than one thing in there. There was another mutt—a, uh, a dog. It was Rue. It had her eyes an–and it spoke. I was already hurt, lost a lot of blood. Too weak to run, to do much of anything. So I stayed hidden in a tree and she... it begged me to come down until the hour was up. Then it was gone."
"...That's—" Finnick starts, pressing the line of his leg to your back from where he stands close behind you, but he doesn’t know how to finish it.
"Fucked." Johanna says, looking around at their stunned faces like they're weird for not saying it first. But, she's right. Finnick can't think of another word to adequately describe it other than ‘fucked’. "That's fucked. "
“I can’t imagine.” Katniss pipes up to the surprise of, most likely, everyone. She hasn’t said a word to you until now. Is she picturing herself in your position? High in a tree, hiding from the remnants of a little girl you both cared about. “What that must’ve been like. I can’t imagine.” 
Finnick can’t see your face from this angle, but he knows it’s deceptively blank.
“I’m just glad my dad passed before my Games. Don’t know what I would’ve done if they used him too.” You laugh, dry and humorless. He didn’t even consider that.  
Katniss stares at you a little longer, contemplating something, before looking away.
-
It’s a little while later that a parachute arrives. 
District Three has sent loaves of bread if the bite-sized cubes can even be called loaves. Finnick counts them, methodically thumbing them over before placing them in neat, even rows. By the time Beetee asks for the amount, he’s already counted four times.
“Twenty-four.” He says. Four pieces for six people. 
“An even two dozen, then?” Says Beetee.
They’re coming on the third day, tomorrow, but the time doesn’t make much sense. Unless they’re using the twenty-four-hour clock, that is. In this instance, he assumes they’d have to. He’s familiar with it, more than just familiar. He’s lived by it for most of his life. Four primarily uses the system since so much of their time is spent out at sea. After his Games, it was a shock having to get used to the twelve-hour clock used throughout most of Panem with the exception of Two, Three, Five, Six, Twelve, and, of course, Four.
So then, that’s when they’ll come. On the third day, at twenty-four hundred. Midnight. For whatever reason, the plan has changed. Not just the time, but they’ve bumped the day up too.
Beetee will understand it, even if you and Johanna don’t. That’s his role in the plan, after all.
And Finnick reiterates, “Twenty-four on the nose. I’ve already divided them.” 
He passes out each pile to the group. Four for each person with an extra fifth to you from his pile, bringing him down to three.
“I can’t, it’s yours.” You attempt to deny the extra loaf, but it’s perfunctory at best because you and he both know he won’t take it back. 
“It’ll go to waste.” He says. Because no matter how frivolous those in the Capitol may be, that particular trait never rubbed off on you. He also knows after living your entire life in Eleven, you’d never let food go to waste if you can help it. Luckily, no one in the group is enough of an ass to try and claim the loaf of bread for themselves. It’s more than apparent to everyone that you need the extra sustenance. “If you don’t eat it, no one else will.”
So you do so while leaning heavily into Finnick’s side.
-
In the time it takes for everyone to settle in and finish eating, Beetee calls their attention to him.
“I have a plan.” He nods to himself, still rolling his wire between his fingers. “I have a plan.” It makes Peeta a bit apprehensive. Not because of the man himself or anything. Moreso the possible complexity of whatever it is he’s about to say.
Despite how much he wishes he could act otherwise, that brush with the force field has taken more than a physical toll on him. His ability to…to think is hindered, if only slightly. A bit slower to connect the dots sometimes, but that’s all it takes for things to go wrong. He had trouble understanding Beetee before the shock that stopped his heart. But now? Peeta fears that his brain may end up being his own worst enemy here. 
He can’t afford to mess up and force Katniss to save him. He certainly doesn’t want a repeat of what happened to the morphling, to sweet Mags, happening to any of his allies—to Katniss. 
Peeta can only hope that nothing else happens, some other enemy catching Peeta off guard and someone, taking pity on him and putting more value on his life than it’s worth, takes the knife or the claws or the razor-sharp teeth for him. No, he decides. He can’t keep being the deadweight someone else has to carry. He means that literally, in Finnick’s case. It might have worked in his favor during his first Games, but it won’t fly here, especially if he plans on getting Katniss out alive.
He leans forward on the knee he’s kneeling on, digging his machete into the sand to use as a crutch, eyes trained on the older man so he can’t possibly miss anything important.
“Where do the Careers feel safest? The jungle?”
Johanna shoots that down. “The jungle’s a nightmare.”
“Probably here on the beach.” Peeta theorizes. It’s where he’d want to be if he was by himself in the arena with no allies. But it’s more likely he’d be forced to hide in the jungle, blending in enough that anything bloodthirsty—both human and man-made—wouldn’t find him.
“Then why are they not here?” Beetee counters. And Peeta isn’t able to answer him right away, his mind taking a little longer to formulate a response.
“Because we are. We claimed it.” Right. That’s the response he was making his way towards. Only, he’s walking to it rather than sprinting like Johanna seems to be. Even then, he’s more hobbling than walking.
“And if we left, they would come,” Beetee says, a statement this time instead of a question.
“Or stay hidden in the tree line.”
“To spy on us or find food. They’d be able to see an attack from the jungle or the beach, escape ahead of time.” You finish Finnick’s thought from where he stopped it. Peeta’s thankful for the explanation that nobody else probably needed. “It’s the position with the best advantage.” 
Unlike Johanna and Finnick, you’re sitting down with your back against Finnick’s shins, probably largely due to those holes in your side. Peeta winces thinking about them. He only got a glimpse of them over Katniss’s shoulder as she tried her best to patch you up before he looked away, but he doesn’t think it’ll ever leave his mind. Plus, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to forget the look on Finnick’s face as you told them everything you had been through.
When you were recounting your journey before you stumbled across them, all he could think about was how strong you are. Certainly stronger than he is. If not physically, then in, perhaps, every other way possible. 
“Which, in just over four hours, will be soaked in water from the ten o’clock wave. And what happens at midnight?” Beetee turns to Katniss, prompting her to answer just with his stare alone. It all reminds him of some of the school teachers back in Twelve. The ones that actually cared about the kids learning anything, at least.
“Lightning strikes that tree.”
Instead of confirming whether she’s correct or not, he continues on. “Here’s what I propose. We leave the beach at dusk. We head to the lightning tree.” Beetee points towards the twelve o’clock wedge where the tree towers in the distance. “That should draw them back to the beach. Prior to midnight, we run this wire from the tree to the water. Anyone in the water or on the damp sand will be electrocuted.”
Peeta picks up a handful of the damp sand underneath them, rubbing the grains between his fingers. It seems like a sound plan, but what would Peeta know? He hardly knows anything about open bodies of water or the conductivity of sand, let alone electricity. Twelve’s curriculum didn’t really have room to fit anything in that wasn’t about coal.
“How do we know the wire won’t burn up?”
“Because I invented it.” Is that why he wanted the wire enough to get stabbed in the back over it? Peeta assumed it was because it would’ve been Beetee’s only chance of survival. Maybe it’s both. “I assure you, it won’t burn up.”
Beetee pauses, looking around. Waiting for the rest of them to shoot the plan down, but nobody else has a better suggestion. Peeta goes to say just that but notices Beetee isn’t looking at him. That by itself is normal, he’s used to it. What he isn't used to is the fact that he isn’t looking at Katniss either. Beetee is looking at the three older victors behind them. 
Peeta first looks to you. You tilt your head, picking at the skin around your nails as you contemplate something. You turn to look up at Finnick who’s already watching you. Something is said without words between the two of you, Finnick places a hand on the back of your neck before you both turn to Johanna. Johanna answers with a slight tilt of her head and a minute twitch of her eyebrow. You’ve all agreed to do it together then, he can tell that much.
He and Katniss look at each other.
“It’s the best we’ve got.” You say, and Peeta agrees.
“Well, it’s better than hunting them down.” Johanna concedes.
“Yeah, why not? If it fails, no harm done, right?” Katniss says.
Peeta purses his lips into a slight frown, followed by a nod. “Alright, I say we try it.” 
Finnick asks, “So what can we do to help?” 
“Keep me alive for the next six hours. That would be extremely helpful.”
-
Peeta suggests they take turns getting some rest in. First go Peeta and Beetee, curling up in the sand under some shade where they made their temporary camp.
“You should rest,” Finnick says to you. You’ve been through hell and you couldn’t have grabbed more than a scant few hours before being pelted with bloody rain. 
“Yeah, I should.” You agree, too tired to put up much of a fight. He can see just how exhausted you are in your eyes. Instead of leaving to lie down, you grab his hand, staring up at him with beseeching eyes.
“Sleep with me?” He wants to, really, he does, but then he looks over to where Katniss sits cleaning the fish he caught. 
By now, he can trust her not to kill him in his sleep, but can he trust her not to bolt? She won’t leave without Peeta, but what’s to stop her from sneakily waking him up and ditching them? As if hearing his thoughts, you nod towards where Johanna paces the shoreline. 
She watches the stretches of open land around them before glancing over to Katniss. She does this again, over and over, all while idly swinging her axe beside her. Deceptive in the way she isn’t on guard. She could handle Katniss long enough for the rest of them to wake up if she tried something. And the siren song of sleeping beside you is too beautiful to resist. 
“C’mon, Finn.” You pull him along and he goes. Of course, he goes.
-
When Peeta comes to, it’s to the sound of unfamiliar birds and the movement of water. He must have fallen asleep outside the bakery, but…he can’t remember there being any water in Twelve. 
There shouldn’t be. He sniffs. Especially not salt water.
He turns over expecting grass and finds something grainy instead. 
He shoots up, eyes opening. 
Sand. He’s sleeping on sand. He’s not outside of his family’s bakery. He’s not in Twelve at all. Had he been, sleeping during the workday would have ensured him a beating from his mother.
He’s on a beach. In the arena. 
He finds a head of chestnut brown. It’s mostly dried by now, made wavey from being in her signature braid for so long. Katniss. He’s on a beach, in the arena. And he’s with Katniss.
He relaxes. Beside him, on his right, sleeps Beetee. If you asked Peeta how well someone could sleep on sand, he’d say fruitlessly. But Beetee sleeps like the dead, clutching his spool of wire to his chest. If he tried taking that spool, Peeta’s sure he’d find that Beetee is gripping it like the dead too. 
To his left, curled into each other like the roots of a tree, lies you and Finnick.
Face to face, legs entangled, Finnick’s arm that isn’t cocooned between your bodies is draped over your waist, somehow mindful of your wound even in his sleep.
He probably doesn’t have the right authority to call two seasoned killers cute, but, and maybe it’s the hopeless romantic in him, but right now, you two don’t look much like killers.
You do, however, look quite young. And, if his minimal prior knowledge is trustworthy, quite in love.
He was more than a little shocked by how intimate of a reunion the two of you had, but, honestly, he was glad to see it. He doesn’t know Finnick well and, in retrospect, he doesn’t know you all that well either, but he thinks he’s an apt judge of character in a way that Katniss isn’t. And he thinks…he thinks you guys deserve each other. He can say that much, right?
You and Finnick deserve whatever moments together you’re able to grab. Peeta doesn’t know how it’ll end for you, doesn’t know how it’ll end for Finnick. Who knows how much time will be left before one or both of you meet cannon fire? Peeta doesn’t seem to know a lot of things, but he knows he doesn’t want to be here to find out.
He doesn’t know what happened before the Games, what led to the strain in your relationship. Honestly, with the way you stared at Finnick—similar, much too similar to how he knows he looks at Katniss—he was a little too scared to ask. But whatever it was apparently can’t touch you two in here.
From what he saw, you two hadn’t even interacted much before that spectacle the night of the interviews and he was tempted to ask you what was talked about after you got off the elevator together. Regardless, words didn’t need to be exchanged for anyone to see how much you two cared about each other. Not for Peeta, at least. And what you told him that day in the Training Center struck a chord.
"You shouldn't have to go into the arena with someone you love. It's cruel."
It is cruel. Crueler still to be the one waiting for someone who doesn’t want you back. You deserve to have that kind of love returned tenfold, and he’s happy you found that in Finnick, that whatever those hurdles were could be cleared, even in here.
He stands and goes to sit with Katniss. For a while, they don’t say anything, just sitting in comfortable silence together, back to back. 
Finnick is the next to wake up, and once Finnick is up, it doesn’t take long for Johanna to go down. Beetee wakes up slowly, and Peeta’s able to convince Katniss to take a short cat nap. Through it all, Peeta notes that Finnick doesn’t leave your side. You’re the last to wake up.
They all meander around, idly talking, until the sun has almost completely set and everyone is awake, coiled, and ready to enact the plan.
-
Johanna is more relaxed, Beetee notes, now that you’re back. He may have been somewhat incapacitated for the majority of your absence, but from what he can recall, she had been snarling and pacing like an anxiety-ridden dog. Even after they finally came across Finnick and the others, she had been tense, maybe even more so. Only after your return did she regain her composure. She’s still rather volatile, but, in comparison to before, she’s almost docile now.
“Do you think it’ll work?” She asks after a moment of silence between them and he knows she’s not just referring to his plan to get rid of the remaining Careers. He knows she’s talking about their escape. “Like, really, honestly work.”
He removes his shoe, turning it upside down to empty it of the sand it’s accumulated. Shaking it, patting the outsole, and slipping it back on before repeating the process with his left shoe.
“It’ll depend on more factors than just us. There are a number of variables we can’t control. Outcomes we can’t account for until they happen. I can’t say for certain, but,” he puts his left shoe back on and adjusts himself on his spool of wire that he’s using as a seat, “yes, I believe it’ll work. One way or the other.”
“Great pep talk.” She mumbles, but he knows she’s being sarcastic. 
A few feet before them are you, sitting, and Finnick wading in the water. They watch Finnick twirl his trident for your enjoyment. He does a complex maneuver, of which you applaud him for.
“Bravo! Bravo!” You laugh and Finnick bends at the waist in a bow.
From the corner of his eye, Beetee sees the divots in the sand Johanna is making with the blade of her axe. “I think it’ll work too.” 
“Mmh. Good.” He nods.
-
The sun beats down on you as you lean back. It’s disorienting to feel the ground shift beneath your hands. And under your nails. Sand is far coarser than you thought it would be. You always imagined something softer when you saw it in textbooks, like powder. Instead, it’s gritty, like salt. Getting in almost every crevice, something Finnick did not warn you about.
Finnick crouches before you, both hands on his trident as he digs its end into the sand and uses it as a crutch, filling you in on even more things you missed. You hadn’t thought too critically about what your other half would be doing while you worked your way back to him, but, even if you had, you certainly wouldn’t have guessed any of what happened.
“You should have seen her after I got his heart beating again. I mean, she was beside herself. Crying, laughing, snotting. The whole nine yards.” Almost absently, Finnick gathers a handful of sand to pour over your shin, adding to the growing pile he’s already gathered at your ankles.
“‘s that right?” You ask, though it’s not really a question, peeking an eye open to regard the couple and closing it again when they go in for a kiss. For the cameras? “She’s so…stoic. It’s a little hard to believe.” You, much like everyone else with two brain cells to rub together, hadn’t put much stock into the romance as a whole. Unlike everyone else, however, you knew it was very much real for one of them—Peeta. The way Peeta talked about her, described her, you’d think she was some sort of angel, but, personally, you think butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.
“Only because you didn’t see it with your own eyes. I was honestly a little worried I was witnessing a nervous breakdown.” Finnick shivers dramatically.
“Shush.” You push at his shoulder when he laughs even though you’re hardly any better, barely holding back your own amusement. “And I don’t think I’m all that torn up over missin’ that.”
The last nervous breakdown you can recall happening in the arena with any real clarity is Annie’s. You’re not hurting over not seeing anything like that again or seeing Peeta laid out, dead to the world.
You imagine yourself in Katniss’s position, a snot-nosed blubbering mess curled over Finnick’s body, listening to his renewed heartbeat. You bite your lip. What does it mean that you can understand her?
Finnick rubs a thumb over the furrow between your brows you hadn’t realized was there, before moving down to free your bottom lip from its sharp prison. “What’re you thinking about, beautiful?”
“I haven’t really had the chance to talk to Katniss.” In fact, she’s talked to everyone but you. It was hardly noticeable during training. But it certainly sticks out now. She’s giving you, one of her few allies, a wide berth. Why?
He hums, no judgment in his voice, only curiosity. “You’ve got something to say to her?”
Do you? “Maybe.” You look at her again. “Won’t know ‘till I say it.” 
No time like the present. No point pushing it off for later when you might not survive the next hour. You shift like you’re about to stand and you think you do a pretty good job of pretending your side isn’t spasming with such little movement, like these wounds aren’t slowly killing you.
“Where’re you going?” He asks, offering a hand for you to grab and push your weight against to help you stand before straightening back to his full height.
“Off to get some one-on-one with our bride-to-never-be.” You joke, smile dropping into a scoff when he wrinkles his nose at you. “Oh, come on. That was funny!”
“Mm-mmm. No. Bad joke. Bad wordplay.” He shakes his head, treating your shoulders as an armrest and ignoring the elbow you dig into his ribs—and you just know he’d lean his full body weight on you, making your knees buckle if you weren’t injured. You can literally feel him holding back. ”I’d say have fun, but I doubt that’s possible.” The arm around your shoulder curls inward, his bicep flexing against the back of your neck so his fingers can play with the ends of your hair. You lean into his heat despite the arena supplying you with a surplus of it. “Want me to go with you?”
“No.” You say, before grinning up at him. “Why don’t you keep the others company? I think it’s your turn to babysit anyway.”
His scowl tells you what he thinks of that idea. Now, that’s funny.
-
Katniss’s lips are still tingling with the distinct pressure of Peeta’s mouth against hers when she notices you approaching them.
She’s expecting to see the rest of the group behind you, or even just Finnick, but it’s just you. 
Peeta says your name, “It seems you’re moving around fine enough. I’m glad you’re alright—relatively speaking.”
“You and me both.” You nod.
You say a joke, she thinks, because Peeta laughs, but she didn’t catch it over the beating of her heart in her ears.
“I’m gonna head over.” Peeta nods over to the rest of their allies as he stands. She bites her tongue to stop herself from begging him to stay.
She isn’t afraid of you, necessarily, but she isn’t exactly fond of what you remind her of. Guilt.
Once she learned you were Rue’s mentor, she’s tried her hardest to avoid you. She didn’t want to give herself the chance to ask you questions she knows will only hurt to hear the answers to. Or give herself the opportunity to apologize for things that you won’t forgive. Rue. Thresh. Whatever it is she sparked in Eleven. 
Katniss supposes it’s not your fault that being around you fills her with an overwhelming sense of remorse. She can’t explain any of this to Peeta, who already seems to have taken a liking to you. Instead, she just nods with a grimace of a smile.
She can’t blame anyone but herself for believing that there wouldn’t be a confrontation eventually.
“How’s your side treating you?” She asks.
Her eyes flick to your stomach. She had never felt such profound shock from the severity of a wound before, except perhaps when they had to attend to Gale's back. Genuinely, it’s a wonder you're moving around the way you are with your side so mangled. She was able to clean it with some fresh water Johanna got from tapping a tree, before pressing some of that absorbent moss against it with the tourniquet you made from your sleeves. 
You were an easy patient, with some slight difficulty considering Finnick glared at her like he caught her kicking a puppy whenever you flinched. You sat still, even giving her advice despite the pain you had to be in. She’s seen men twice your size weeping from sprains—though they were usually from the merchant side of Twelve. 
“Better, thanks to you.” You lower yourself to sit beside her in the spot Peeta previously occupied. Now that it's just the two of you, she notices that you speak with a distinguishable drawl that she doesn't think was there the last time you talked to her. It's familiar, almost. Similar to how her father’s folks sounded, from the little she remembers of them. “Is that common in Twelve? Being a healer?”
“No. I’m a special case,” is all she says, but you, surprisingly, don’t ask her to elaborate. “And you? Is that something everybody learns in Eleven?” Rue knew so much about natural medicine and she hadn’t even been in her teens yet. Who knows how much more she would have known had she been older? There’s so much she’ll never have the chance to learn because of Katniss.
“If we want our kids to live into adulthood? Then, yeah, it has to be.” You, surprisingly, elaborate with a wry laugh and she wishes you hadn’t. Hadn’t been so truthful. It’s a privilege in Twelve to have this kind of knowledge, something to use to their advantage. For Eleven, it’s a necessity. The closest thing she can equate to it is hunting. Without it, neither her or Gale's families would have made it long after the mine accident. Many families hadn't.
She waits for you to say something, ask her something—do something to explain why you’re here. But you don't. Instead, you pick up a handful of sand and let it spill out of your hand, somehow impervious to Katniss’s expectant stare.
Do you think she wants to ask you something? Did Finnick send you over? She glances over at his exceptionally bored expression as he idly spins his trident and decides that can't be it. She knows that if she had been separated from Peeta with no way of knowing he's safe only for him to show up injured, she'd want to keep him as close as possible.
Are you trying to wait her out then? If so, for what?
Well, not for nothing. There is one question on the tip of her tongue. 
She hadn't asked before because it didn't seem important to know. She was also wary about mentioning Eleven at all after what happened the last time she was there. Whatever answer she'd get wouldn't help her in the arena, so she never asked.
But now, now that she's aware of what the Gamemakers put you through with that mutt, aware of just how badly she would have handled that, aware of the fact that you cared for Rue—she didn't know how much, but she knows that you did care—and it suddenly feels very important to know. 
“...Was it you?” You look at her with a raised brow. She looks away to watch the sun begin its descent. Fake or not, a sunset will always be beautiful. “When Rue…I was sent bread. I know it was from Eleven. It was meant for Rue. Was it you?”
You pull your left leg up, forearm resting over your knee as your hand flexes open and closed.
“If I said yes?”
“I’d ask why.”
“Why do you think?” 
Weirdly enough, she wants to get the answer right. Almost like she doesn’t want to disappoint you or something equally as stupid. Does she care what you think of her? If she does, it has to be because of your connection to Rue. And, apparently, Haymitch and Peeta.
She knows why she would have sent the bread in your position. “A repayment. For what I did for Rue. And I, I guess so it wouldn’t go to waste.”
You look at her for a moment, long enough that it makes her, no stranger to staring, shift a little. 
The way you stare at her, always slightly amused. Like she’s a long-winded joke you already know the punchline too, but want to hear again. It’s hard to explain. It doesn’t feel malicious or like you’re making fun of her. But it’s confusing and more than a little intense. Another thing she noticed about you, especially in your interviews. Haymitch had explained once, how it’s a part of why you have so much influence in the Capitol. Sure, you’re beautiful. But more than that, you’re captivating, persuasive. Your stare is a snare that prey willingly walk into. Even she feels it, which is saying something.
It’s vastly different from how Finnick looks at her like she’s a puzzle he keeps finding pieces to, with no clue where to put them. Or how Johanna looks at her like—well, like she hates her. Of the three, she can’t tell which she prefers.  
“I have no siblings. Shockin', right?” The only shocking part is you bringing that up seemingly out of nowhere. The shift in topics makes her blink. “I’m sure you learned that each family in Eleven has, like, ninety kids with full smiles and even fuller stomachs.”
Truthfully, Katniss is too embarrassed to say what she learned about Eleven, which is close to nothing. When they were being taught things about the other districts, as rare as it was, it was typically kept to their purpose and how they utilize the coal Twelve provides, if at all. Other than the little the teachers went over about how food is produced and the assumptions from other children that were treated like facts, Katniss can’t say she actually learned anything about your district. And she learned that from Rue. “Something like that.”
“If you get rid of the full stomachs, then it’s not too far off, honestly. More kids mean more workers. I’m sure it would have happened eventually, might’ve ended up with twenty brothers and sisters.” You joke. Or, at least she thinks you’re joking. She doesn’t know, but she’s too embarrassed to ask. She does know, however, that they’ve definitely cut the cameras away from the conversation by now. 
“Why didn’t it? Happen, I mean.”
“I’d imagine you’d need two parents for that.” Despite the blankness of your face that gives nothing away, you somehow manage to slip some humor into the statement, so you can’t be too upset at her for inadvertently making you mention your dad again.
She wonders how it happened. An accident like her father? Or…?
The punishments for minor crimes are distributed harshly in your district, Rue told her this much. And she’s seen it with her own eyes. Just how brutally the citizens of Eleven are treated by Peacekeepers. A feeble old man executed swiftly and without a word like he was no better than a dog with rabies. If that’s what they’re willing to do publicly, she can’t imagine what it’s like when there are no eyes on them. 
Is that something she can ask you? Does she even want to know? You choose for her.
“He and a few other men were hung in the square on grounds of treason and conspiracy.” Rebels. You don’t say whether the claims were founded or not, but Katniss can tell by the way you say it that, rebel or not, your father was an innocent man. Your eyes cast around aimlessly. She’s relieved they aren’t focused on her anymore. “I was eight. So, yeah. No big family.” 
Eight. Even younger than she had been.
“But I always wanted one growing up. Wanted kids of my own. Someone to love them with.”
With a level of fondness Katniss hadn’t expected to see, maybe, ever, let alone in the arena, you look over at Finnick who—despite Peeta’s best efforts to engross him in a conversation—keeps glancing over here. And, she squints, he’s slowly edging closer. Poor Peeta seems none the wiser about how unengaged his audience is. It would be a funny sight. How desperately Finnick seems to want to be around you. The most eligible bachelor in Panem so very obviously in love. He’s nothing like he was before they entered the arena, or even a few hours ago when Johanna had to pull him off the brink of what seemed to be a panic attack. Funny if they weren’t in the arena. And funny if it wasn’t so very sad.
“You lived in the Seam, right?” She turns to you, surprised that you knew that, before nodding. The ignorance about other districts isn’t as universal as she thought it was. She isn’t sure if that says more about Twelve or her. “I grew up in a Shacktown, somethin’ similar. So you know bringin’ a child into that is practically a death sentence and, and…” You sigh. Suddenly, Katniss feels incredibly guilty for this fake pregnancy. “Forget I said any of that. None of it’s important. Just, just got a bit sidetracked.”
“It’s alright.” But it’s not alright, is it?
“So, no kids. But I had my tributes. And I cared. About every single one of them.” You say with a bit of steel in your voice as if she might claim you’re lying. 
She just nods, recalling you telling her she’s lucky to never have to worry about being a mentor. Thinks of how Haymitch treated them before their first Games. She thinks of you and him both having to train and send off kids from your districts that you knew had no chance of winning, having to do it year after year. 
“Rue—she was a good kid, real good. But she never would’ve survived after the Games anyhow. Young girl like her? They would’ve eaten her alive. And then thrown her right back up to make room for more.” You purse your lips together, slightly twisting them to one side. “Just...tradin’ one arena for another, really.”
She doesn’t wanna think about how true that is. Do you see her too? In the song birds and the meadows? Do you see Rue in the small animals that scurry high in the trees, too trusting to not fall victim to the snares and traps? You must. With how much you care, you must see her too.
Katniss has a moment of clarity. 
It’s possible she completely misunderstood what you told her at the chariots. She was under the impression that you hated her a little bit, different from Johanna’s general ire. She thought that your hatred, valid and pointed, came from the fact that she survived only because your tributes saved her. That’s what she thought you meant before Finnick interrupted the conversation and you left like you were allergic to his presence. 
But you never said that. You made no indication that you blamed her for anything, for either of their deaths. That was all Katniss, wasn’t it? 
She doesn’t know what to say, so she says nothing at all.
“I held her. The night before. We couldn’t sleep, we talked and…gossiped. And then I held her. And, for that small moment that wouldn’t really matter to anybody but me and her, I guess…I guess I could imagine what it would feel like to be a mother.” Katniss frowns and has to look away from your wistful face. It’s horrible, the things you’re saying. A lesser woman would be crying. But you say them with a smile. It’s also horrible, she realizes absently, that had the circumstances been different, had you met at a nauseating Capitol party or grieving over your respective tributes, she could see you and her being friends.
“Seems you’ll be livin’ that out for the both of us, huh?”
“What?” You look down at her stomach. “Oh.” Right. The baby. That is supposed to be inside of her. This is the third time she’s had to be reminded. How did she forget that fast? She’d be better off writing ‘remember to be pregnant’ on her arm.
“Oh.” You mimic, an amused smirk growing. “It’s alright. Your belly’s still flat, must be pretty early in. I almost forgot myself.” You wink and, stupidly, Katniss feels herself blush. Now, if it’s from embarrassment at her misstep or being the focus of all of your… you is anybody’s guess. 
She doesn’t understand how Finnick can stand to be at the center of it. Not only that but actively seeking it out, if how visibly impatient he seems to be to head this way means anything, shifting his weight from foot to foot. You snort. He locks eyes with you, pulling a face that turns your snort into a laugh that you hide behind your hand. He seems to be begging you for something and Katniss never realized how much could be said with just eye contact and some funny faces.
Nothing’s happening, per say, but it still feels like she’s intruding on a private moment despite neither of you saying a word to each other and being a good thirteen feet apart. Still. The air around you two feels so constantly charged that she can’t help but notice it.
And that kiss earlier…
Katniss wills her ears to cool down, but it appears her body is just as good at listening as she is. Caesar must be beside himself about the whole thing. It’s not hard to imagine him fainting live over it. She wishes she could see it.
“So I did send the bread because it’d be wasteful not to and because it’s what Rue would’ve wanted. But, also, as a thank you. For protectin’ her when I couldn’t, even for a little while.” You sniffle, rubbing at your nose. “Sorry. For, um. Makin’ that so long-winded.” If she knew you better, she’d be confident in saying you sound embarrassed. There’s no reason to be. It didn’t even feel like the two of you talked for long, but the sun is barely peeking over the horizon now.
“I should be the one apologizing. For Rue. And Thresh…For the old man…”
“Briar.” You say. Your district is massive. So much vast land that barely houses its population. Unlike Twelve, Eleven is far too big for you to know everyone. It should surprise her that you know his name. But it doesn't.
“For Briar.”
“Katniss…Nobody blames you for a damn thing that happened except for you.” Obviously, you haven’t had a chat with the president recently. As far as Snow’s concerned, anything bad that’s happened in Panem since her win is entirely her fault. And almost as if you know what she’s thinking, you say, “Nobody of any real importance, at least.”
She scoffs but doesn’t argue. There’s no point. Something tells her you're the kind of person who can convince anybody of anything. And no matter how desperately she wants to believe it, she doesn’t need you to convince her that she’s faultless. 
She remembers Peeta vouching for you. At the time it didn’t make much sense, and a small part of her had wondered if it was because he liked you. Stupid. 
You taught him, he had told her, about plants. From their toxicity to their edibility. A subject Peeta was particularly lacking in. Valuable information given away freely when you didn't have to. In fact, it would have served you not to help your competition. She doesn’t understand it and she has a feeling Finnick wouldn't either. But you do, and so does Peeta. And she knows that means it was strictly kindness that drove you. Between you and Finnick, she’ll never be able to get rid of this debt. How could I possibly kill them now?
“It seems I have a lot to be thanking you for.”
You regard her for a moment.
“You don’t owe me anythin’, Katniss. That’s what you’re thinkin’, right?” It seems even her thoughts, like her secrets, are public knowledge known to everyone before they’re known to her. “Well, here and now, I absolve you of any debts.” You wipe your hands together like you’re clearing them of dust. “How’s that sound?” It sounds like you’re only making her predicament worse.
“That sounds very generous.” And too good to be true. In fact, she hopes it’s too good to be true. It would make this whole thing easier. She unsticks her tongue from where it feels frozen to the roof of her mouth and asks, “How was it? The mutt, I mean.” Katniss doesn’t even know why she asks. Maybe because she knows it’ll hurt.
The mutt hybrids of Foxface and Thresh tearing Cato apart are still seared into her mind just as much as the flinch that went through Marvel’s body as her arrow struck him dead. Who knows how she would’ve handled it if they had turned Rue into one so soon after she lost her?
Instead of describing it in vivid, painful detail, your eyes get flinty as your fingers tap your thighs in no specific rhythm and you say something much worse. “When I was fifteen, after I won my Games, I thought I’d eventually become—jaded to all of it. That the blows would be dulled. And, after eight, almost ten years, you think you’ve seen all they had to throw at you. That they can’t possibly hurt you worse than they already have. But that? That was… mean. That’ll haunt me more than havin’ to watch her die.”
“...Oh.” She wants to apologize again, and she would if she thought you would accept it. Most of this conversation will be cut from the final product, and that’s if the Gamemakers are even risking keeping the cameras on them. 
Finnick is the only one still standing among the other group, his hands on his hips as Peeta recounts some sort of story. It looks like Beetee is the only one actually listening, following along. Johanna watches on in amusement, seemingly cutting Finnick off every time he tries to interject. He does nothing more than sigh in response, but his growing frustration is evident as he crosses his arms.
“Ah. That’s my queue.” You chuckle as you clamber to your feet, slow and cautious. She’d almost forgotten you were even injured. You wear your pain so well. “I better head over there before he pulls somethin’.” 
You smile at her so easily that it makes her smile in turn. Small and without teeth, but it’s not as tense as she thought it’d be. “Right.”
You turn away, getting a few steps before abruptly turning back around. What stopped you?
“You know, Cattails mean peace and prosperity. At least in Eleven. Many a feud and petty squabble has been patched up just,” you snap your fingers, “like that once people start exchangin’ Cattails.” 
“I…didn’t know.”
“And Katniss, the Arrowhead, is all about protection, courage, strength. And they can be surprisingly sweet.”
“...What do they have in common?” She can’t help but ask.
“They both have ‘ cat’ in them.” You say it so matter-of-factly, completely straight-faced, that it catches Katniss off guard enough to make her laugh. “They’re both resilient, adaptable. Bred for survival. You’d look them over at first glance, but they can save your life. But I’m sure you already knew that part though, huh?”
“Some of it.” Mostly learned from her father. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I think you have a lot in common with both—”
“Not just the stuff about the flowers. All of it.”
“Why not? Just seems like things you should know.” You shrug and, despite herself, she believes that you really believe that. “There doesn’t have to be some convoluted reason behind everyone’s actions. I wanted to tell you, so I did. You’re allowed to do things just because you want to.”
“...Right.” The last time she did that, a man had been killed.
 “Don’t brood over here for too long, Cattail. It’s bad for the baby.” Cattail? So close to Gale’s nickname for her. She doesn’t hate it, but she won’t encourage it. Things are hard enough as is. “I’ll go save my boy from yours.” She’s taken aback at Peeta being referred to as her boy, that you feel like her and Peeta’s relationship is worthy of being held up next to yours and Finnick’s. Maybe she’s a better actor than everyone gives her credit for.
You wave over your shoulder at her and she realizes with a dawning sense of horror that you’re more like Peeta than she wanted to be true. Seemingly kind without reason. Genuine.
A good person.
If she hadn’t been convinced before, then she certainly is now. She and Peeta need to leave. Because if she has to shoot first, she’s not sure her hand won’t shake as she notches her bow. She looks over to the group. To where Finnick’s face lights up with a grin at your approach and Johanna, Beetee, and Peeta sit in a semicircle and talk like friends. Only one person gets to leave here alive, and she needs it to be Peeta. That hasn’t changed. But it’s the first time she’s felt something like guilt because of it.
SECTION 12  (9:20 pm—?)
When he and Katniss guesstimate it to be somewhere around nine, they all start heading to the twelve o’clock sector. Not before he had Katniss check your wounds despite your insistence of, I’m fine, Finn. It hardly even hurts anymore. But he knows you’re lying because you hardly argue when he prompts you to get on his back so he can carry you.  
Finnick leads the charge, precariously stepping from rock to rock. He uses one hand to shift away obstructing vines and the other to hold his trident. Your arms are looped around his shoulders, your right calf resting in the crook of his elbow—the same hand gripping the shaft of his weapon.
As he slows down a bit so Beetee and the others can catch up, he’s glad they decided to head to the tree earlier than they previously planned. It’s not that they aren’t making good time, rather, he doesn’t want there to be any reason they’ll need to rush. No reason for any possible slip-ups, no potential to become sloppy.
They hike forward, led by nothing but artificial moonlight. Finnick keeps a good pace even while carrying you, leveraging himself uphill, gripping tree trunks to support the both of you. When he gets to a high point, the others a little ways behind, the Capitol anthem trumpets throughout the arena. 
You huff, warm breath hitting his ear, when Cashmere’s face flashes in the sky. He hadn’t been friends with her, just two Careers out of dozens floating around in the same circles, and as far as he knows, you hadn’t either. But he knows you don’t need to be friends with someone to care about them, that’s just who you are. He squeezes your calf. Effortlessly compassionate, one of the reasons he loves you, but it must be exhausting. 
Gloss follows behind her, replaced by his victim, Wiress. He glances over to Beetee who’s looking under his glasses at her portrait mournfully. Finnick looks away, right into Mags’s kind eyes. His nostrils flare, something in his chest pinches, but he doesn’t cry. Not again. You tighten your arms around his chest, keeping the blade of your weapon away from his face. You kiss his temple before laying your head on his. Some of the tension leaks from his shoulders as you move to press your cheek to his. You don’t say sorry about Mags again, which he’s thankful for. He squeezes your calf once, twice. A comfort. You’re a soothing weight on his back.
Other than Blight and the female morphling, no other people of interest appear. No Chaff, which is relieving. 
The music cuts out and they move forward in silence, the sound of bugs chirping following them further into the jungle. Thankfully, no birds.
When they get to the ginormous tree, he pauses, gawking a bit at the sheer size of it. Its branches cut a cruel figure above them. It looms all the more in the night, with shadows and a lack of good lighting making it look even bigger. 
So this is what gets them out? It certainly looks the part. 
He helps you off his back, ushering you in front of him as the others step closer to the tree. He looks over his shoulder, scanning for enemies hiding in the dark as hard as Beetee is inspecting the tree. Finnick grabs your wrist—“Stay close to me.” He whispers, looking away from you to the sky beyond the branches. Soon enough, it’ll split open and they’ll be free. It hasn’t fully sunk in yet.
“Minimal charring.” Beetee notes. They all look back at the tree trunk to try and see what he sees. “It’s an impressive conductor.” Nobody agrees or disagrees. How could they? “Let’s get started.”
Anticipation bubbles in Finnick’s stomach, making his hair stand on end as everyone follows Beetee closer. You raise your eyebrows at him, lips pursed briefly. You feel it too. They’re steadily approaching the climax.  
“Typically a lightning strike contains five billion joules of energy. We don’t want to be anywhere in the vicinity when it hits.” Finnick keeps his back to the tree as Beetee works his wire around a part of it, keeping his gaze glued to the tree line. But, for a split second, he glances behind him in enough time to catch Beetee looking you over from under his glasses, a quick clinical sweep before he says over his shoulder to Katniss and Johanna as he unspools more wire, “You two girls, go together now. Take this. Unspool it carefully.”
Beetee pushes the handle into Katniss’s hands, speaking so surely that you don’t even object to being excluded—which Finnick is very grateful for. You’re the fastest of the girls, and you have the easiest time moving swiftly between the trees and rough terrain. On a normal day, when you didn’t have an injury sinking you. “Make sure the entire coil is in the water. You understand? Then head to the tree in the two o'clock sector. We’ll meet you there.”
Beetee nods at them, heading back to the tree, and Finnick thinks that’s the end of it.
“I’m gonna go with them as a guard.” Finnick freezes momentarily, before turning back around to face Peeta. That won’t work. He can’t emphasize enough just how much that won’t work. Not only are the two of them active flight risks, no matter how well they think they’re hiding it, but they also need to handle the trackers as soon as possible. Johanna is strong, but not strong enough to take both of them.
“No, no, no. You’re staying here to protect me. And the tree.”
Finnick alternates between watching the trees, watching the increasingly tense conversation, and watching you. Working to not treat this interaction like it’s as high stakes as it actually is. They can’t make it seem like they’re eager to separate the two of them—which they are. It’s actually a large part of the plan. Some might say the crux.
“No, I need to go with her.” Peeta stubbornly digs his heels in. 
“There are two careers out there. I need two guards.”
“You have two guards.” Peeta gestures to you and Finnick.
“Allow me to correct myself. Two able-bodied guards.”
“Hurt or not, I’m sure she’d be much better at fending off the careers.” You shift enough behind Finnick to grab his attention. You purse your lips into a frown, one that he returns. He hadn’t anticipated Peeta being a problem, especially this close to their escape. Katniss makes sense, he was almost banking on her making this difficult, but Peeta is a surprise. You raise a brow, tilting your head minutely. But not a surprise to you. "Besides, Finnick can protect you just fine on his own.”
“Yeah, why can’t Finnick and Johanna stay with you and Peeta and I’ll take the coil?”
Finnick fully turns around at that, slowly creeping up to stand slightly in front of you. He doesn’t want it to escalate, but if push comes to shove, he and Johanna will just have to move in quickly to incapacitate them. And it really looks like Peeta’s ready to push and shove. Finnick subtly has his weapon at the ready, not enough to draw attention, but just in case. He can see Johanna do the same, moving her axe to her dominant hand.
“You all agreed to keep me alive till midnight, correct?”
“It’s his plan. We all agreed to it.” Johanna bites out, making the two of them seem all the more unreasonable to be arguing over who’s paired with who when they’re all trying to do their parts.
“Is there a problem?” Finnick asks, working to keep any aggression out of his voice, trying to make it seem like he’s just supportive of Beetee’s plan and won’t let anything obstruct it. However, he must not work hard enough because you grab his elbow. An anchor. 
“ Excellent question.”
Katniss’s eyes flick from Beetee to you and then back.
“No. There’s no problem.” Whatever trust she has in you and Beetee to not hurt Peeta apparently outweighs the distrust she might still harbor in him and Johanna. Peeta, however, doesn’t seem as convinced. 
“I’ll go with ‘em, Peeta.” You pipe up and step forward past the protective wall of Finnick’s body. “Six hands spreadin’ the wire will get us done three times as fast.” Finnick tenses at the idea, teeth grinding together. That’s not the plan. You going where he can’t protect you, again, has never been part of the plan. Maybe if you weren’t so grievously wounded—no, not even then. 
His hand lands on your shoulder, sliding limply down your arm to latch onto your wrist. “Star.” He rasps, dismayed. He understands a situation as delicate as this might require improvising and flexibility, but this isn’t something he’s willing to bend to. He’s not letting you leave his sight if he can help it.
You lock eyes over your shoulder, and that split-second look holds a thousand and one words. All of which tell him that you have no intention of leaving him, but Katniss and Peeta don’t know that. The fact that you even offered to go in your current state just to appease Peeta’s worry should be a grand enough gesture of goodwill to extinguish some of that lingering apprehension. 
If Finnick is willing to send you on your merry way to lay the wire without his protection, then why can’t Peeta do the same with Katniss? His thumb brushes the shell of your bracelet before letting you go.
He leans away, listing leisurely against his trident—he’s all lax lines as he regards Katniss and Peeta almost apathetically. “Well?” He raises a brow at them. Your move.
If he was Peeta, he’d pull the baby card, the only good argument he’d have for wanting to stay with her. But Finnick isn’t bringing that to his attention if he’s clearly forgotten.
“Like Katniss said, there’s no problem.” You eye Peeta uncertainly, much like how he looked at you in the elevator. Maybe that’s what makes him concede in the end. “And it’s probably best if you stay up here.” Finally, something Finnick can agree with.
Beetee nods, an infallible thing that conveys no further arguments. “That settles it, then.”
Of course, it isn’t that easy.
The two of you have stalked further away, out towards the outreaches of the tree’s massive roots, speaking in low tones. The distance is intentional and not just to keep him from overhearing anything. Peeta will feel more compelled to stay close to Beetee and watch his back, less likely to sneak off or outright run if he’s the nearest one to him. 
He leans down to hear you better, as you take turns subtly watching Peeta and less subtly watching the trees. 
“It’s almost over.” You mumble. “Not much longer, I’m sure—” Something cuts you off. A soft metallic sound, not so much loud as it is sharp. The sound a spring makes when abruptly bouncing back to its original position. Or, more accurately, the sound of a very taunt, very thin wire. 
In sync, you both turn and watch the suddenly lax wire coiling at Beetee’s feet. You turn to each other. He reads fear in your eyes that he knows is reflected in his own. The wire’s been cut and cut very suddenly. He hears voices so faint he thinks he’s imagining them, before a scream that can only be Katniss rings out. 
You don’t even hesitate to run towards it, which makes sense, he shouldn’t be surprised by it. Katniss is a key factor in their escape if not the rebellion as a whole. Every rebel vowed to put their lives on the line for Katniss and Peeta. Knowing that doesn’t stop his stomach from dropping at the sight of you running head-first into danger. 
“ Star!" He yells after you, but you’re already too far ahead to think about stopping. He tells Peeta, “Stay here and guard Beetee,” before chasing you. 
“Finnick, wait!” He ignores Peeta calling his name well enough, focusing on not losing you.
Despite your head start, he catches up to you. Quickening his stride, he overtakes you, jumping over a log to skid in front of you. You crash into his chest, but he’s able to steady you. You pant, sagging against him. As tough as you are, the wounds are doing nothing but crippling you.
Making noise isn’t a privilege either of you have right now. There’s no telling where Brutus and Enobaria are skulking around, no telling if Katniss still considered anyone an ally other than Peeta. You’re too hurt for this, and you’re only getting worse. He needs to get you out of the open. Head whipping around frantically to find—“C’mon!” He whispers, steering you away from the moonlit path.
"I need you to hide here, okay?" His voice shakes, heartbeat in his ears as he crowds you behind a tree where large leaves hang low and the grass grows tall. No one will see you here.
"What? No, we need all hands on deck.” You say, a Four phrase you surely learned from him, trying to stand up straight despite the way your shoulders shake. You’re starting to look pale, sweaty from more than the humidity. “We need to keep Katniss saf—”
"No. No, me and Johanna can handle that. You're hurt—"
"I can still help, Finnick." You beg, moving away from the cover that the tree provides and Finnick can feel the clock breathing down his neck.
"This isn't up for discussion," He whispers harshly, softening when you flinch back. "I can't watch you and help Johanna at the same time—I know I don't have to, but I will anyway. You know that."
He hears feet hitting the forest floor in the distance and curses.
"Once we handle the other victors and get Katniss and Peeta to the tree, I'll come back for you, okay? Just," you turn towards the sound of someone yelling and he grabs your face, "focus on me. Do you trust me?"
Your eyes are glossy as they look between his, face resolute despite the pain he knows you're in and the absolute hell breaking loose around you both. But for a split, vulnerable second, Finnick sees the mask slip. Your lips quiver as you nod.
"Then, please. Stay here. I'll come back for you, I promise." You grab his wrist, your grip tight. You're scared. He is too. Not just for himself, but for the rebellion. What it'll mean for the cause if this all goes to shit.
He's scared for you.
"I promise." He repeats, presenting his pinkie for you to take with your own. You hesitate. You hesitate long enough for Finnick to become hyper-aware of the sweat dripping down his neck.
You hook your own around his tentatively, and then certainly. Putting an insurmountable level of trust in him.
He leans forward, lips meeting yours, and he savors the feeling. He’d drink poison from your mouth if it meant he got to kiss you. You're soft against him, but he knows how tough you really are. He knows it must kill you to sit back and let someone else handle the situation, and you're right about them needing all the help they can get. But you're letting him be selfish and he loves you so much. 
"I'll come back." He swears into the air between you and him and you keep your eyes closed. "My Star." He whispers into your hair and hopes you can hear the declaration of love hidden in it. You squeeze his wrist one more time before stepping back.
He waits for you to hide before he runs off to look for Johanna and Katniss.
“Katniss! Johanna!” He sprints through the jungle, down the slope, looking for any sign of either girl and giving up any attempt of discretion. “Where are you?!”  
He leaps through the underbrush, pushing past vines and leaves, coming to a stop when something glints out of the corner of his eye. He reaches his hand out, grounding himself against the bark. On his left, down in a deep ditch, he sees some of Beetee’s wire, but not the spool and neither of the girls that should have been with it. He squats down, squinting at what looks like blood next to the wire. “Johanna!”
No reply. No shout, no groan, nothing. He rushes further down the slope and realizes it’ll only be a matter of time before he stumbles onto the beach, which reminds him he’s working on borrowed time. He turns around, looking up at the slope he just sprinted down.
“Shit.”
He doubles back, passing that same ditch in time to hear a cannon. It’s not you, he knows it’s not you. You wouldn’t have left your spot after promising him, and no one would even think to look for you there. It’s not a spot someone can just stumble upon. Which means it’s someone else, a complete gamble. The chance of it being a good thing is tragically low. He pushes himself forward, suddenly very worried about how vulnerable Beetee is. There’s no way Peeta actually listened to him, especially not after that cannon.
There’s shouting, and it sounds like Peeta, but he’s very faint and very far away. Almost as soon as Peeta starts yelling, Katniss yells back and she sounds much closer. “Peeta!”   
His relief is quickly followed by fear, fear that he won’t be the first person to get to her. There’s no telling if she’s hurt or not, but she can speak at least, which is a good enough sign for him. 
Another cannon fires right before he rounds back to the tree. He has chills despite how scorching hot he feels. Nothing. He sees nothing. Not a damn thing. His heart sinks.
“Katniss, where are you?!” He yells, chest heaving. He takes a second to scan his surroundings, hoping to see a head of long brown hair or maybe the light glinting off Beetee’s face from wherever he’s hiding. Hopefully hiding. There’s a very real chance one of those cannons was him. Just as he’s about to turn and look in another section, he sees her. Or, more accurately, he sees an arrowhead pointed right at him.
Silence. Neither of them speaks, both panting and wired. He raises his free hand slowly, trying not to give her a reason to let her arrow fly. 
“Katniss.” He had hoped it wouldn’t have come to this, had hoped for a lot, it seems. Hoped that he wouldn’t need Haymitch’s plan B. But it’s the last chance the revolution has and it depends on the next words out of his mouth. “Remember who the real enemy is.”
He holds his breath at the same moment it looks like Katniss holds her. That reaction could mean a lot of things. Could mean Finnick will leave this arena in one piece or it could mean he’ll leave with an arrow between his eyes. 
Please. He prays. Please don’t shoot.
She lowers her bow, slowly and then all at once. They regard each other for a moment. The sound of thunder cracks the silence, making him flinch.
Finnick eyes the gathering clouds warily. Glaring into the swirling storm. Suddenly, he remembers that Beetee said they shouldn’t be anywhere near that tree at midnight. “Katniss, get away from that tree!”
She doesn’t listen. Of course, she doesn’t listen. She must have some kind of death wish, she must not understand just how unlikely it is she’ll survive. She wraps Beetee’s wire around the arrow she had pointed at him and Finnick doesn’t think he can comprehend just how poorly this will end.
She aims at the sky, and Finnick rushes forward on instinct. 
“Katniss, get away from that tree!”
There’s a flash of blinding light as the tree is struck and Finnick goes flying back.
He feels warm. Too warm. The warmest he’s ever been. This heat. It vibrates through him, so deep that his bones must be shaking with it. 
No. 
His muscles. They’re vibrating, they’re tensing, they’re cramping and straining. It leaves him breathless, like a kick to the diaphragm. The pain is almost as blinding as the light was. 
In the second it takes for Finnick’s body to go numb, to become paralyzed, to become deafened by the bombardment of sound, his heartbeat speeds up so rapidly that he can feel it contract and relax. 
Every time he blinks, he loses time. 
He blinks and the hovercraft lifts Katniss’s limp body into the air. Katniss is taken away and he needs to find the others, needs to—Star, Johanna, Peeta, Star, Star, Star—he blinks and he’s fighting to stay awake as they airlift Beetee. 
He doesn’t know when his eyes close, but when he opens them, it’s to the expanded claws of the hovercraft. Fear seizes his chest as the claw descends to him because he knows. He knows if they lift him up, if they take him out of the arena, they’ll never find you. He knows you won’t move. Knows you won’t come towards the sound. Towards the pickup point. Because you promised him. And he promised you.
I promised, I promised, I promised.
He tries to move, to shift, to scream. To give you some kind of sign, some kind of signal. But he can’t. He can’t fucking move.
But even if you do move, you’re too injured, too far.
The metal talons slip underneath him. His eyes blur and he can feel the tears slipping down either side of his face. As he’s lifted, his eyes slip shut and don’t open again for a long time.
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DISTRICT THIRTEEN; HOVERCRAFT 
The first time Haymitch talked to you, you called him a jackass. 
Not that it wasn’t well deserved. He was being a jackass. No more than what was usual at the time, but enough to put anybody new off. That wasn’t what happened though. You weren’t put off despite it being your victory tour and having met hundreds of people who were no doubt far nicer to you than he had been.
But that didn’t deter you. You called him a jackass, yes, but not to be mean. It was an observation of a grown man who was purposefully acting like a drunkard. Haymitch was even more of an acquired taste back then than he is now. Instead of scoffing and turning your nose up at him, you left and came back with a flute of what he thought to be champagne, but was actually water. 
Even though you were forced to entertain dozens of people cloying for your attention, you kept an eye on him for most of the night. He would have thought Chaff and Seeder put you up to it, but, even if they had, the fact that you were taking the time to actually look after a stranger was insane to him.
The last time Haymitch talked to you, he reassured you that they would get you out—that he would get you out. You were skeptical, as you always are, but you trusted him. He saw it in your eyes, you let yourself believe, just for a moment, that it was possible. You believed in Haymitch. 
He looks at your picture now, the one Finnick gave him for safekeeping. It’s aged with love. A little worn around the edges, but loved. 
Stop shaking, he tells his hands, stop fucking shaking. He wills his body to listen to him just this once so he can actually look at you. Just let him look at you smiling, so it can replace the last time he saw you. Replace seeing your body getting airlifted by the Capitol with you happy and smiling. Safe and whole. When he hadn’t broken his promise to you and Finnick. When he hadn’t failed you.
-
When Finnick wakes up, it's with the biggest headache known to man and the intuitive feeling that something is very, very wrong. It takes a moment for his brain to tell his body he's awake. And when it does, he’s sore in places he didn’t even know could feel sore. 
He’s on a padded bed. There’s a pain in both of his arms, though he can barely feel them—as heavy and limp as they are at his sides. A twinge in the crease of his left elbow. He tries to bend it and it’s a laborious effort, but when he does, it’s to the unfamiliar sounds of beeping. 
His hearing is back, followed by the smell of antiseptics and burnt hair—the stale taste that comes from sleeping for a while. He’s in a medical ward of some kind. There must be an IV in his arm then, pumping him full of fluids. And in his right arm, there’s a deeper throb. His forearm itches, wrapped in a scratchy gauze—his tracker. Gone now, surgically removed. He tries to open his eyes, but it’s like there are hundreds of anvils tied to his eyelashes.
Star.
He floats in and out of sleep, he thinks. It’s hard to tell. 
The final time he wakes up, it’s to the silver-gray ceiling of a hovercraft. He panics for a second, not entirely sure whose hands he’s wound up in. He paws at the oxygen mask on his face, heartbeat picking up sluggishly. It’s new; it wasn’t here the last dozen times he gained consciousness. When he gets free, he waits for the beeping. But there is none. The IV hangs from the machine on his left. Weakness clings to him like a heavy blanket, tucked into all his joints. 
He pushes himself up, arms straining under his weight. Even that winds him and he sits, dazed. 
Something’s wrong.
He can’t remember, but something, something, something…
Something terrible has happened. 
It’s like his memory is filled to the brim with piles of rope tied in an impossible knot. He pulls and pulls, but there’s no end in sight. A chill goes through him as he swings his legs out from the blanket and over the side of the bed, feet bare. He’s still in his arena getup, though they removed his shirt and there are more than a few sizable holes in his pants. He’s bruised all over. Ugly splotches of purple, blue, and yellow paint the majority of the skin he can see. Various cuts and scratches are twining in between, like vines or the lines of a constellation—
“ Star!” And just like that, the knot unravels. He remembers the feeling of being paralyzed, stuck on the jungle floor as the sun streamed in and Katniss and Beetee were lifted out. He remembers the guttural fear, not at the prospect of death, but because he knew, in your current state, getting there on your own before the hovercraft left was incredibly unrealistic. He remembers how you gripped him as he kissed your forehead. 
But that’s just what he remembers. He’s been asleep for who knows how long, so they must have gone back for you. And Johanna. And Peeta. He does a sweep of the room. To his immediate right, Katniss lies in the same state he did. Only, she’s chained to her bed. To her right is Beetee, hooked up to more wires than he and Katniss had combined. But the reason behind that is the least of his concerns. 
There are more gurneys, all with medical equipment on standby. But they’re empty. All perfectly made, not a sheet out of place. 
He lurches to his feet. His stomach sways almost as much as his vision and saliva fills his mouth as acid burns his chest. There's a reason why you aren’t here with him. An explanation for why he didn’t wake up next to you. Your injuries were more extensive than theirs were. Needed closer monitoring, maybe even surgery. So he just, just needs to find a different medical wing. That’s all.
Each step is a conscious effort. Even now, his body doesn’t feel like his own. Every muscle protests his movement, even his brain. You’re here, on the hovercraft somewhere. He’ll walk every square inch until he finds you, because you are here. He doesn’t know how long it takes him to get to the automatic door. He just knows that there’s a pounding in his head like a grandfather clock. It feels nearby. If he could just press his fingers into his eyes, he could rub away the pain like an aching muscle. 
Instead, he presses his hands against the walls, using them as crutches as he shuffles and limps to—well, he doesn’t know where. He has no idea where he’s going. The lights in the hall nearly blind him, any brighter and his nose will start bleeding again, and whatever brain injury he has won’t allow him to focus on any signs. He needs, needs to…He needs to find Haymitch. 
Haymitch!  
He needs to find Haymitch. He’ll tell him what happened, explain it all away. He’ll bring him to you. He drags his battered body toward the sound of voices. He finally gets to the room where two men are arguing. Haymitch and it takes a moment for Finnick to recognize the calmer voice as Plutarch Heavensbee. Whatever he’s saying, Haymitch doesn’t like it.
“That’s it? Really? You’re a smart man, Plutarch. You and I both know that shit’ll fly over as well as a lame bird. You can’t expect them to just… deal with it.”
“That’s exactly what they’ll do, Haymitch. There was no guarantee they’d all get out of the arena. It’s a shame, but casualties happen in revolutions.”
“Yeah, I’d like to see you look those kids in the eye and say that to their faces. We’ll be lucky if they don’t end up planning a coordinated attack to crash your fancy hovercraft.”
The words he’s hearing don’t make sense, but he attributes it to whatever the hell is wrong with his brain.
The door opening cuts their conversation short. Finnick pants as he leans heavily along the frame. He can’t help but look for you, but the two men are the only ones in the room. Medbay it is, then.
“...Kid.” Something painful flashes in Haymitch’s expression, but Finnick dismisses it. He’s sure he looks pretty beat up, that’s all. “We, uh, didn’t think you’d be up moving around so early.” He approaches Finnick slowly and stares at him expectantly. He’s waiting for something, bracing himself for an approaching wave. 
“Haymitch.” He nearly jumps at hearing his own voice. It’s hoarse and raspy, and he’s acutely aware of how dry his throat is. “How long have I been out?" The older man grabs his shoulder, places a guiding hand on his back, and directs him over to the table they’re speaking over. Something he’s thankful for because he isn’t sure how much longer his legs would have held up. When he leans most of his weight on the cool metal, he realizes it’s more than just that. It depicts moving treetops and mountain ranges in light blue projections, presumably what they’re flying over. 
“Nearly ten hours,” Plutarch answers. Good. More than enough time for you to be out of surgery. 
“Where’s Star?” Haymitch goes still beside him, looking at Plutarch, and then back at him. Your injury must have been worse than any of them anticipated if you’re still in surgery. “Is she still in surgery? Or, or if she’s recovering in a different med bay, I wanna go sit with her—”
“Kid.”
“—I won’t be in the way, I swear. I just, I’ll feel better if I’m with her and I don’t want her to wake up alone—”
“Finnick.”
He opens his eyes, though he doesn’t remember closing them. His fists are clenched as he leans on them, nails working their way into his palm.
With the kind of blow he received, it’s expected that Finnick will be a bit absent. The medics told Haymitch to prepare himself to talk slower and repeat questions when necessary. But Haymitch didn’t prepare for this. He should have, but he wasn’t expecting the earnest hope in Finnick’s eyes as he determinedly clung to his senses. This has nothing to do with being electrocuted. He genuinely thinks you’re here. As the seconds tick on, Haymitch’s need for something alcoholic claws at him. 
“Here, drink some water. It sounds like you’ve been gargling razor blades.” Haymitch forces him to take it into his weak hands. It goes down uneasily. Though, luckily, it doesn’t come back up. 
The thick silence sits heavily upon them. Before he can ask where you are again, Haymitch sighs. 
“She’s not here.”
“...I know. Tha–that’s why I asked—”
“She’s not here.” Haymitch interrupts him. Finnick can feel his brain working desperately to make the connection, to fill in the blanks—of which there are many. Haymitch pauses, looking to the side and then down. He licks his lips. “We…we didn’t get her out.”
“What? What does—? Wha—” He laughs in disbelief, shock coloring his otherwise pale features. “What the hell do you mean?"  
Finnick sways, his determined gaze faltering to give way to terror. Haymitch prepares to catch him, but he doesn’t fall. He visibly steels himself, but the walls he builds aren’t nearly as high or impenetrable as they usually are. As the truth sinks in, those walls start to crumble, and Haymitch can’t feel sorry enough.
Plutarch takes over, though Haymitch isn’t sure how good of an idea that is. “We were only able to retrieve Katniss, Beetee, and you.”
Finnick doesn’t know what’s worse, that they’ve given up on you so resolutely or the fact that Haymitch doesn’t bother hiding how remorseful he is.
"You said that if we did this, we’d be free. You said you’d get her back to me." He hisses. Despite how his circumstances shaped him, despite how his father tried to raise him, Finnick isn’t a violent person. It’s something he’s capable of, but it doesn’t come easy to him. He wasn’t born with it in him, rather it was tattooed into his skin. You, however, wear violence like a heavy coat you’ve borrowed. It was never meant for you. With that in mind, Finnick lashes out with an anguished scream that rips his throat to shreds.
He lunges forward, his feet still clumsy and his mind disoriented, but Haymitch still struggles to hold him back. Finnick doesn’t know what he’s trying to accomplish, not sure whether he’s attempting to hurt anyone other than himself, but his fist strikes Haymitch’s jaw. 
“Whoa—stop!”
“You were supposed to get her out! What was the point?!” Haymitch tries to restrain his wrists. “What was the point?!"
People rush in. Medical personnel with syringes, ready to put him to sleep. I’ll let them. Before they can get close, Plutarch raises a hand and they freeze. 
"Finnick, we couldn't find her. Or Peeta and Johanna for that matter." He’s calm and rational, distantly sympathetic like Finnick is just overreacting. Like hearing this should be enough for him to see apparent reason. But it only makes it worse because—
"I know where she is! Just turn around and we can get her! Please." He pleads to Plutarch, to Haymitch, to anyone who’ll listen. 
“Believe me, Kid, I want to go back.” Haymitch grunts. Finnick’s weakened, but he’s not weak. At this rate, Haymitch will be as bruised as he is.
“Then go back.” 
"We're too far away with too little time. We go back, this will all be for nothing." Plutarch says. Like there’s nothing else to be done. Like it’s the end of the conversation. And for everyone but Finnick, it is. If you got left behind, then it was all for nothing. He struggles against Haymitch before his body betrays him. The anger that powered his attack evaporates and in its place now stands despair. His legs give out. He’s heaving and practically limp in Haymitch's arms.
Haymitch allows him to sink to the floor, and Finnick allows himself to cry.
Tremors wrack his body as he stares ahead sightlessly, lips quivering as he weeps. Cool air brushes his back like a feather, but he doesn’t even feel it. He can’t feel anything, only your absence. He feels it more than he did over those torturous two years he spent apart from you. 
His shirt had been so badly singed, they had to cut it off of him, is what Plutarch says, but Finnick is done talking to him. The man is saying something else, Finnick can see his lips still moving out of the corner of his eye, but he’s done listening to him too. 
Haymitch puts his cardigan over Finnick’s shoulders and slides a paper into his hands. Instinctively, his thumb rubs over it, over the subtle grooves and creases and he recognizes it even without looking. He presses a kiss to it, dry and cracked lips caressing your picture as he asks you, "What was the point?”
"I just got word from my men.” Finnick looks up, hope clear even through his tears. He should know better than to have hope, but he just can’t seem to help himself when it comes to you. “The remaining four victors in the arena...have been taken by the Capitol. They never took their trackers out."
That breaks him, Haymitch can see it. The kid just, he just deflates. Curls in on himself, forehead touching the ground—sobs.
 “You, you should have left me in there. Why didn’t you leave me in there? I wasn’t,” he gasps, hardly breathing at all. “I wasn’t supposed to get out. Not without her.” 
“I’m sorry, Finnick.”
Finnick says nothing, because what good does that do? Haymitch’s guilt, what good is it? Who does it help? It means nothing to Finnick, nothing to you.
“I’ve given special orders for Annie Cresta’s retrieval, if possible.” Plutarch reminds him. “With Snow’s attention split between the arena and Eleven seizing control of transportation, it should be fairly easy to slip into Four unnoticed. If that’s any consolation.” It’s not.
Eventually, the weeping tapers off. Not the crying, no. When Finnick eventually sits up, the tears are still streaming down his face. Haymitch is used to seeing him trailing behind you with a cocky grin, shoulders back, and carrying arrogance like a shield if his sharp tongue wasn’t enough. The man that Haymitch has grown close to over the years isn’t here, neither is the boy he once was. And neither are you.
“Do you see that?” Haymitch nods over to the shell of Finnick Odair. “You see that reaction? That’s what I tried to warn you about. Now, how do you think Katniss is gonna react? You think she’s gonna be any better?”
“He’s in shock. She will be too. But they’ll have no choice but to see reason.” Plutarch says and Haymitch’s face twists in disbelief. For how strongly he feels for the rebellion, Heavensbee is still Capitol raised. That ignorance shows like a flashing sign now. People aren’t ruled by logic, they don’t make decisions based on what they know to be true, not really. Especially not in this case. Emotions will be high. And considering it’s Finnick and Katniss they’re talking about, the one less adapted for it, they’d be lucky if they don’t go catatonic.
He nods. “Sure, sure. Once they stop seeing ghosts. And as long as their ghosts are leashed by Snow, you’re gonna be short two rebel leaders.” He says. His jaw aches from Finnick’s right hook, and his chest aches for, well, many reasons. And he is shockingly far too sober for the rest of this ride.
“They’re both intelligent people.” Plutarch counters. “They’ll understand that the revolution is more important than any singular person.”
“Of course they’re smart. There’s no doubt about that. But they’re also strong-willed. They’re stubborn. They’re kids. Pair that with them also being… stupidly in love.” Haymitch can see that none of this is particularly clicking with the other man and sighs, throwing his arms up in frustration. “You know what? Nevermind. You’ll find out just how much we need them more than they need us.”  
“Hm.” The ex-Head Gamemaker hums, not entirely convinced. But he will be. God, will he be. He’ll learn the hard way what happens when you live for someone else, and Haymitch will run as much damage control as he can. He’ll keep these two alive even if they hate him for it. He owes you and Peeta that much.
Finnick sits in silence as Plutarch and Haymitch speak in low tones. He thinks Plutarch attempts to talk to him a few times, tries to rope him into the conversation. Maybe to ask for his input or some type of council. But what good is Finnick to the rebellion now? How could he possibly think of the future of Panem when his future is trapped in the Capitol? 
Eventually, Plutarch stops trying, probably dissuaded by Haymitch. Finnick’s standing now, leaning heavily on his hands like he’s drunk. Haymitch must have helped him up.
“Maybe,” he wonders aloud, an open stream of consciousness that he doesn’t bother to censor. He doesn’t need to look at the other men’s faces to know he sounds as desolate as he feels. “Maybe if I’m dead, they’ll let her go.” They could broadcast it live. A hanging or execution by gunfire. Or lethal injection, so he can drift away with thoughts of you. 
Plutarch raises his eyebrows. It’s the first thing the kid has said in the last hour and a half.
Haymitch’s reaction is as upset as Finnick thought it would be.
“No. No, are you crazy? Your dying won’t help anything. Hell, it’ll probably make whatever treatment she gets worse. And you and I both know Snow didn’t take her just to fuck with you.” If Finnick was more present, he would have noticed Haymitch softening. But he’s not and he doesn’t.
Haymitch is right. Of course, he’s right. But it’s increasingly hard to see that past the tears in his eyes.
Later, when Katniss barges in and lashes out, as angry and despondent as he was, and has to be sedated, Finnick sits beside her in the same bed he woke up in. What a cruel twist of fate to be sitting at her bedside, wishing she was someone else while knowing Katniss is doing the same with him.
But there’s nothing to be done for that because he isn’t Peeta, and she isn’t you. And they’re both here when they shouldn’t be.
He stays out of the way as medics bustle around the room. They check her IV drip, measure out more medicine, and contemplate aloud if they should tie her down again. Ultimately they decide against it and leave the room one by one until it’s only them. Three patients in a room that should have held six.
“Katniss. Katniss, I’m sorry.” He apologizes, but even then it doesn’t feel like it’s really her he’s apologizing to. He wants to picture you in her place, lying here beside him, but Finnick’s imagination has never worked that way. 
He stares at your picture.
She mumbles something incoherent, which is more than he thought he’d get from her. Her voice must be shot. She’d been wailing. For so long. Even after they drugged her. He hadn’t minded. It gave him something to focus on other than his thoughts. A ringing in his ears that wasn’t from head trauma or grief. It was the kind of animal-like keening he’d only heard once before—from his father when his mother died.
And then she went deathly quiet. But even before that, she refused to talk to anyone. Like she was a wounded creature surrounded by predators and the only way she could communicate was by screaming and sobbing. He gets it, they wanted to put him on IV fluids as a precaution. You can cry yourself into dehydration and, apparently, he’s already at risk. Luckily, Haymitch talked them out of it.
Not that he would have noticed. Or put up much of a fight. 
“I wanted...to go back for Peeta and Johanna. For Star...” He trails off, blinks his puffy and watery eyes, and tries again. “I wanted…to go back for them, but I, uh, um..." He sniffles, “I couldn’t move,” he says. Not as an excuse, or an admission of guilt. He doesn't need her to validate or coddle him. He tells her because she has to know, somebody other than him has to know that he tried. 
And that he failed. 
She says nothing, but that deliberate silence speaks volumes.
“They, um, they took her, too. Th–they took…they took Star.” That gets a blink out of her. Or he thinks it does, his eyes feel swollen from crying. They offered him something for it, but he refused. He continues, feeling the need to fill the silence. “It's better for him than her and Johanna. They'll figure out he doesn't know anything pretty fast. And they won't kill him if they think they can use him against you.” He shrugs even though she can’t see it. “Knowing Snow, he won’t kill Star either.”
“They’re bait…aren’t they, Finnick?” Her speech is delayed as she talks at the ceiling, the sedative doing its job. “But you get rid of bait…when it gets no bites.”  
They should have given her some kind of tranquilizer or anesthetic, those would have put her to sleep. He wishes she was asleep, that her vocal cords were so strained that she couldn’t speak at all. He wishes she hadn’t said that, hadn’t brought logic into his delusion.
He tries to imagine what they’ll do to you, but his mind whites out to the sound of static. No. Not static. Your screams in the arena, once fabricated, but now made real. 
No. 
It’s both. 
Static and screams and static and screams and he covers his ears, weeping. 
“I wish she was dead. I wish they were all dead and we were too.”
-
Epilogue
-
THE CAPITOL
There are snipers at all possible vantage points. 
All hovercrafts have been grounded. 
Should anything be picked up by the sonars, he has given express orders for it to be shot down immediately. He had peacekeepers previously stationed in Two brought to the Capitol overnight, almost tripling their numbers. This close to an attack like that, he can’t afford to be lax in his security. 
Despite the extra muscle milling around, or perhaps because of it, the citizens cheer as he steps out onto the balcony.
Even after all these years, the sight of his faithful, if not at times inane, people falling over themselves at the mere sight of him is invigorating. It’s what he is owed, of course, what he’s due. It’s invigorating all the same.
Coriolanus allows himself to relish the feeling. He’s worked tirelessly to get where he is today, to get his country where it is today. Day after day, making the difficult decisions needed to keep the scales balanced so those unsuited for the task didn’t have to. Moments such as these, it wouldn’t do to squander them.
He raises a hand and a hush falls over the crowd, quelling the unrest. He surveys the audience, taking in their fears and hopes. He does not need to contemplate the approach he should be taking. He knows what his people need to hear. 
“Esteemed citizens. Today, we stand in the shadow of a grievous attack. An assault upon the very heart of our beloved nation. Yesterday's events in the arena were not merely an affront to our sovereignty, but a blatant act of terrorism perpetrated by those who seek to undermine the tranquility and stability we have fought so very hard to maintain since the Dark Days."
He pauses, allowing the weight of his words to settle over the assembly. There are very few people who witnessed the Dark Days firsthand and lived to tell the tale. Even less so now than when the war initially ended, their names almost all lost through death or forgotten by time. Despite that, he made sure the generations that came after were taught about it, and the words ‘Dark Days’ became synonymous with ‘horrors beyond comprehension’. Bringing it up has the desired effect. He watches as they shift uncomfortably. 
“I know many of you are concerned by what you witnessed last night. Frightened by the events that have left us all shaken. Your safety is my top priority. I will not deceive you, my dear citizens, I will not shield you from the harsh realities of our world.” A lie. A necessary one. But a lie, nonetheless. “Hear me when I say you have every right to be afraid. Rebels have infiltrated our sanctum, defiled our most cherished institution. They have stolen into our home, wreaking havoc and sowing chaos.”
A murmur ripples through the crowd, a tide of uncertainty underscored by a palpable sense of unease. Fear, apprehension. The perfect state for susceptibility. 
“But, they could not have done it alone. It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that some of our own, once celebrated as champions—as victors, have now fallen into the clutches of treachery, their allegiance swayed by the insidious whispers of our enemies.” He grips the sides of his podium, leaning forward. “As of today, they shall be branded as terrorists. Enemies of the nation.” He declares and so it is true.
There are gasps and cries of dismay, of outrage. Aghast and stricken, the people begin to speak over each other. Murmurs turn into shouts. He allows it as he already predicted this very reaction. Accounted for it, even. He lets them stew in their despair for a moment longer before raising his hand again. Silence.
“It is a grave tragedy,” he says, voice heavy with somberness he doesn’t feel, “that the people we have allowed into our hearts, have put upon our very shoulders in an effort to uplift them—raise them from their stations, would throw our generosity into the mud...and our benevolence back into our face. A tragedy,” he nods along to his words. “But not a surprise. While we mourn the loss of innocence, we must also acknowledge a glimmer of hope. We have reason to believe that some of our victors, unwitting pawns in this treacherous game, remain untouched by the poison of rebellion. Swift action was taken to rescue the innocent and the unaware, to shield them from the grasp of those who would seek to corrupt and manipulate them. They were spared from the rebels’ clutches only by our decisiveness to intervene despite great risk. And we will continue to safeguard them from the horrors that would have awaited them at the hands of the rebels.”
There is a discernible note of relief in the air, a whiplash of emotions as they look to him for guidance. He had always been focused on the marketability of a victor, even when he was a boy. How to best sell them to the audience, what skillset should they develop, what makes them charming. As he gained power, climbed the ladder, those questions became someone else’s to answer. But it’s possible he set the foundation for the job too well. Though it was his intention, the citizens have become far too attached. And the victors, far too comfortable.
“But let me assure you, we shall not cower in the face of fear or despair. Our resolve remains unyielding, our commitment unwavering. We shall stand tall as we unite to root out this insidious threat. Let it be known that those who stand against us are not only enemies of the state but enemies of peace and progress. Enemies of every man, woman, and child in Panem that cherishes the stability and prosperity of our nation.” 
“Even the children?”
“What animals!”
“Where do they draw the line?”
The irony of their outrage isn’t lost on him. It’s why he said it, after all.
"Our path forward is clear. We shall embark upon a thorough investigation of every remaining victor and sift through the ashes of betrayal to discern friend...from foe. We shall leave no stone unturned, no shadow unexplored. And mark my words, justice will be swift, and it will be absolute."
A sense of righteous fury and determination sweeps through the crowd as if they’re getting ready to fight the war themselves. He would scoff under his breath if didn’t irritate the sores. Realistically, many of them would think about this for a week, a week and a half at the most, before moving on. Shopping frivolously, partying excessively, hoarding their wealth gratuitously. Living naively in the bubble he formed for them. Over half a century later and Coriolanous is still bitter that they’ve never had to understand the disparity. But that is how it must remain, this is what he strived to keep. The Capitol citizens relishing their opulent lives as a right and not as the privilege it actually is.
"Together, we shall weather this storm. Together, we will emerge stronger, more united than ever before. For in the end, it is not the darkness that defines us, but the strength of our collective will to overcome it.” He stands resolute as the cameras zoom in, just as he instructed them to. Fervent applause echoes around him so loudly, that it wouldn’t surprise him if it could be heard across the Capitol. He raises a hand in farewell, his mind already turning towards the trials that lay ahead. He finishes with, “Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever.”
“Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever.”
“And that was our brilliant president, making sure to reassure us all in these uncertain times.” Caesar Flickerman opens after Coriolanus’s speech. Showmanship has certainly become more wooden since the days of Lucky Flickerman, but it was a change needed to fit the times. He’s paid to be a distraction and he does it well.
“Wonderful speech.” His cohost, whose name he doesn’t know and doesn’t care to know, tacks on. He has no idea how the man has kept his job for as long as he has while being utterly forgettable. Though, it’s most likely they’ve just forgotten to fire him.
“Wasn’t it? Doesn’t it just make you wanna get out there and kick some rebel butt?” Caesar throws one of his legs out in the semblance of a high kick before breaking into his clenched jaw laughter.
“Now, although no names have been officially said, I do have my fingers crossed about which victors were saved.”
“You know, I hadn’t even thought of that, Caesar. I know I’ll be in the minority in this, but, out of all the victors left in the arena, I hope Enobaria was saved.”
“ Really?”
At the mention of her, he recalls the image of four victors strapped down to gurneys and unconscious.
He could have done without the woman from two, Enobaria. The rebels know better than to allow a potential mole in on their plot. As such, she’s completely useless to him, most likely to just be sent home. Johanna Mason, so willful, so self-assured. No longer. They'll see to that. 
Capturing Peeta was almost better than capturing Katniss herself. He told her to convince him of their romance and convince him, she did. It was nothing short of pure stupidity to leave him behind, but Snow isn’t wasteful. He’ll have a use for him undoubtedly, and he will have it soon.
And you. It wouldn’t be hard to find out if you had any part in the rebellion, and he knows you must have. For all your supposed obedience, you’re still defiant at heart. You can bat those pretty eyes of yours however much you want, it doesn’t hide the hate in your gaze. He chuckles. Always so resentful. But you’re far more clever about it than Ms. Mason and far more convincing than Ms. Everdeen at hiding it. They’ll squeeze every last drop, every morsel of information out of you—he’ll see to that personally. 
A clash was inevitable, it had been too long since the rebels had last made their move. Katniss and the heat her win garnered had all but handed them their opportunity on a silver platter. All of it was an annoyance, one he’d been preparing for. And, truly, it seems Coriolanus has gained much more than he has lost.
There’s a knock at the door that breaks him from his musings, followed by a Peacekeeper pushing it open. Behind them stood a timid girl, one of the assistants.
“President Snow?”
“Yes.”
“Your granddaughter is waiting.”
Coriolanus hums and says nothing else, the sound of leather rubbing against leather as he squeezes his hands into fists making her squirm.
He decided long ago to lead by example when teaching his children etiquette and virtues, and his grandchildren after them. Punctuality is one of them. With that in mind and without looking away from the recap, he says, “Very well. Bring her in.” No point in keeping her waiting. The girl rushes to do just that, almost tripping over herself when he uses two gloved fingers to motion her in. 
She sets up the communication device, connecting the call, and his granddaughter’s grinning face is projected before him.
“Grandpa!”
“Hello, darling.” He smiles briefly, irritating the sores in his mouth. “Was there something you wanted to share?” He wonders momentarily if she was saddened by his announcement, knowing how much she idolized the victors.
“I learned a new song today! Would you like to hear it?”
“Did you?” He asks though he knows saying she ‘learned’ anything is being very generous. “By all means.”
Calliope places the violin between her shoulder and her chin, getting into the correct position. She knows that much at least. Discreetly, he lowers the volume right before she drags the bow across the strings. He winces once she starts playing, another word used loosely, lowering the volume even more. She’s abysmal, simply simply put. So bad, in fact, that he can’t notice the improvement she and her instructor swear is there—he never does. 
But she only started her lessons very recently, she’s a novice. Unlike you, the entire reason she even wanted to take up lessons. Your skill with the violin is truly something to marvel at. After your moving performance, she’d been taken with the idea of playing herself. He’s happy that was her main takeaway from that night. And you’re a far better person to emulate than Katniss Everdeen. 
Coriolanus, for a long time now, has been of the mindset that music is only good for causing trouble. And he’s been proven right time and time again. Despite that, he’s always been partial to your playing. The way the notes soar and dance through the air, each one carrying its own emotion and story. You become one with your instrument, movements sure and fluid like you’re channeling something other.
You’re not a singer, it’s part of why he prefers you. You played so often, not because you enjoyed it, but because he willed it. Perhaps that’s where he went wrong in the past. He didn't need a performer. A bird couldn't truly be tamed without breaking its wings, after all. They were meant to entertain you with their primitive songs from afar. Heard, not seen. Birds weren’t meant to be cared for or doted on. 
You, however, invoke memories of the wayward lap dogs that once roamed the desolate streets during the Dark Days—lost, yet in need of guidance and a firm hand. You responded with surprising grace to both rewards and punishments. The sort of unwavering loyalty that could be harnessed. Akin to those loyal canines who, once taken in, never strayed far from their master's side. Indeed, there was no need to break you; you were already tamed, domesticated by circumstance and necessity.
His mind wanders to a time long past, to his grandmother's cherished garden. He remembers the times she would force him up to the roof to help her, tending to the whims of the temperamental woman and her equally temperamental plants, diligently pruning away the encroaching weeds. He could never claim to have a green thumb, but there was one plant he remembers being fond of: lavender. A hardy plant that survived longer than many of his neighbors had and was always so rewarding to see grow. Splashes of purple and green on the ever-present backdrop of gray had made those days a little less dreary. The memory brings a faint smile to his lips that leaves just as fast as it arrived. 
The woman is long since dead and so is her garden.
Coriolanus absently adjusts a vase of pristine white roses on his desk, contemplating the parallels between you and that resilient lavender plant.
So, yes. Perhaps you aren't an animal at all. Instead, a flower that endures. Beautiful and useful. And a Snow only surrounds themselves with the best. 
You’ll need tending to, of course, some nurturing. Just as well. You have quite a few weeds he'll need to prune, but he’s certain the end result will be just as rewarding as those sprouting lavender buds in his grandmother's garden. He’ll need that splash of color in the foreground of this eternal war.
And who knows? Perhaps he’ll have gotten you under control in enough time to have you perform at Calliope’s birthday celebration. You might even be able to train her yourself. A mentor yet again.
While Calliope continues to play, his eyes drift back to the recap. 
“Now, let's lighten the mood a bit, shall we? Did you catch that electrifying moment between two victors? I mean, talk about sparks flying!”
“Pun intended, I hope?”
“You know it, Claudius. Ha! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, or you were unlucky enough to miss it, two of our very own victors shared a firey moment on the beach.” They pull up a short video of your and Finnick’s pitiful display on the beach. "Oh, the passion! It was so unexpected, so intense, that yours truly couldn't contain his excitement, and well, I might have had a little tumble. But fear not, because we've got the clip ready for your viewing pleasure. Let's roll it!" 
“What’s this?” Finnick pulls you forward into a deep kiss with crashing waves and the setting sun in the background. “I—excuse me.” Caesar holds up a finger before passing out. 
"Ah, classic Caesar, always getting carried away by the drama!” He speaks in the third person, laughing at himself as the clip of him is played again in slow motion. “But seriously, folks, wasn't that kiss something else? Oh, what a moment! I think I need a fan myself after that!" 
"I was on the edge of my seat, practically squatting the whole night!" 
"Words right out of my mouth. Is it possible this fiery little dalliance flew under our radar all these years?"    
"You know, I wouldn't be surprised. Those two had always been pretty close. So adorable." 
"Too true, my friend. Too true. And you can bet your Capitol couture that we'll be talking about those two in-depth later. For now, let's dive into more highlights from the Games. Who impressed you the most? Which victors left you speechless with their skills? Which death rocked you the hardest? Share your thoughts with us about our all-star season, because the excitement never ends here at Capitol TV!"
-
END OF PART 1
A/N: I know this was a doozy, like WOOO. right? But that's the end of part 1, next part is mockinjay. might take a hiatus in between just to breathe and like, give me some air and time to plan. Come yell at me over on tumblr!!!!
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future-bog-body · 29 days ago
Text
Fog Weaver Chapter Three
Previous Next Ao3
Chapter Summary: Copia isn't having a very good day- and it's only going to go down from there.
Chapter Notes: Warnings for this chapter include; On-page murder of a character, witnessed by a child. On-page kind of sort of cannibalism. All of this happens near the end of the chapter. If you want to skip it, stop reading at "His spiral is cut off by the sharp sound of skin on skin." and start reading again at "He sneaks a hand out..."
A/N: I've decided fuck it I'm just going to post the chapters whenever I want
Chapter Three: Many a Rat I’ve Befriended
The rats aren’t having it today. Copia isn’t sure what it is, but they don’t want anything he’s given them. Not the carrots he’s given, not the berries, not the bugs. He’s onto chicken bones pilfered from the kitchen now, still with a little meat on them. They’re ignoring even the bones, usually their most favorite and most special treat!
“Is everyone mad at me today!?” Copia exclaims, throwing his hands up into the air and turning away from the rats. Their cage is huge, it takes up a lot of the surface area in Copia’s room, to make room for all six of them. They all have their own names.  His exclamation isn’t one he doubts at the moment. Just this morning when he woke up, Aunt Marika was already upset and yelling at him for waking up too late. Then, during class, Uncle Psaltarian was constantly frustrated with him. It wasn’t Copia’s fault, he’d never been very good at history! He could do math faster than even Uncle Psaltarian and he was incredible at music and lyrics, and he’d learned languages very quickly. Why couldn’t Uncle Psaltarian give him a break on one subject he was bad at?
Not only that, but Aether had been busy with some sort of Ghoul training lately and hadn’t been able to hang out at all for months and, now, even his rats were refusing to take treats!
Copia huffed and turned away from the rats, crossing his arms over his chest and desperately trying to fight off the urge to cry. He was fourteen for Satan’s sake, he was too old to be crying over something like this! But all day it had been like this. Aunt Marika and Uncle Psaltarian yelling at him for being late or not being able to memorize the ancient Papal lines. The librarian and kitchen workers yelling at him to stop getting in the way. Even the Ghoul in charge of overseeing the Ghoul dens got annoyed at him when he tried to ask if Aether would be available today. He wasn’t, of course. In fact, he wasn’t even in the country! And he hadn’t even told Copia!
And now, even after dinner, this awful day keeps getting worse.
It’s more than an awful day, a horrible, small part of Copia’s brain whispers to him. It’s an awful life. Nobody likes him, nobody loves him. It’s on the nose, even for Copia’s innermost insecurities. Usually it’s a bit more subtle, it’s reminders that nobody in Copia’s birth family wanted him, that Aunt Marika and Uncle Psaltarian probably only tolerate him. Forget the gentle way that Aunt Marika calls him darling and brushes his hair away from his face so she can look at him, forget the way Uncle Psaltarian always presses a kiss to the top of his head before leaving their home every morning. Some things are too easily drowned out by the little voice in his head that screams unloved! unloved! unloved! constantly. 
Dinner was tense. Copia knows that Uncle Psaltarian is stressed because his studies aren’t going well and the man’s job is hard, and he knows Aunt Marika is stressed because there have been some issues around the Abbey that she won’t tell him about lately. But the way it always showed was that they were painfully quiet during family meals, which always set Copia’s teeth on edge.
“Leave me alone,” Copia mutters, watching as one of the rats climbed out of the cage (he rarely kept the door shut if he was in the room and his door was closed) and climbed onto him. The rat in question was dark grey and silver with big, black eyes that looked at him adoringly.
“Go away, Tambourine,” Copia mutters, pouting down at the little animal. Tambourine pays him no heed and simply stands up on her back legs, placing her little hands on his chin and pressing the top of her head against his lips. It was an adorable mimicry of the way he’d always kiss each of the rats’ heads when they cuddled with him, an attempt from Tambourine to comfort him. In response to Copia’s continued pouting, Tambourine pressed her head against Copia’s lips more insistently.
“Tambourine, I’m not in the--” Copia cuts himself off, staring. Standing just in front of his open door is Jazz, a little albino rat that was a recent addition to the mischief. Jazz was a little more than a baby, but not yet old enough to be called a juvenile, and she was a rebellious and chaotic little pup. Usually, Copia didn’t mind letting his rats wander around his bedroom. It was perfectly safe for them, he always made sure of it. The issue was that he hadn’t closed the door. He had thought he did, he was almost sure of it. But apparently it had gotten caught on some piece of clothing on his floor and hadn’t closed fully.
“Jazz…” Copia’s voice broke as he said the pup’s name, trying to get Jazz to look at him. He knew she knew her name. He knew she was capable of answering to him and listening to him. Copia stood carefully, Tambourine cradled into his hands carefully as he places her in the cage and closes the door. Behind him he vaguely hears the noises of Tambourine being welcomed back into the cage, but that’s knocked out of focus as Jazz bolts out the crack in his door.
“Jazz, WAIT!” Copia shouts, scrambling to run after the rat and slipping on clothing on his floor along the way. He threw open his door and lunged to grab the rat, slipping as Jazz dodged his attempts and Copia slammed into the wall of the hallway.
“Copia, be careful!” Uncle Psaltarian yells, grabbing Copia by the collar of his shirt and hauling him to his feet.
“Sorry, Uncle, thank you!” Copia responds, brushing dust off himself and running after Jazz as he watches her tail disappear around the corner of the hallway.
“No running in the house!” Uncle Psaltarian shouts after him. “I took your trike away to prevent this exact thing!”
Copia almost considers shouting back another apology, but he presses it down to keep his breath available for ideally catching the wayward pup. He hears Aunt Marika gasp as he runs towards her where she’s coming in from outside.
“Auntie, close the door!” Copia yells, trying to rushing forward as Jazz lunges for the door and out the crack just as Aunt Marika closes it.
“C! What are you doing?” Aunt Marika demands, looking scandalized.
“Jazz just got outside!” Copia explains, shoving his aunt aside and throwing the door open. Jazz is waiting just outside, looking at him with twitching, happy ears. Copia breathes a sigh of relief, sagging against the door just slightly as he looks at the little rat. Aunt Marika is already scolding him in Romani for running in the house and then shoving her, and it only gets worse as Jazz runs off again and Copia instinctually runs after her. He hears, distantly, his aunt yelling at him to put his shoes on in Romani, but he doesn’t pause.
Aunt Marika’s brother is Papa, that’s something that Copia does actually know. He knows it for a few reasons, but the biggest one is that they have a small house on the grounds of the Abbey, set away from the main building. It’s a privilege only allowed to the highest members of the Clergy. Technically, the house is Papa’s, but Copia had learned from his uncle that Aunt Marika had insisted on having her own home with her family when they’d first taken Copia in, and so the small cottage had become theirs. Copia ducked his head slightly as he left the cover of the patio and its plants, straight into the rain.
“Oh, of course!” Copia shouts, squinting to follow the bright white of Jazz’s coat through the dark and the rain. “It’s June! The one time it decides to rain in June is right now!” He looked up to the sky, as if God personally chose to right now to rain to upset one juvenile Satanist.
Copia gets all the way to the Abbey gardens before he loses sight of Jazz. He’s soaking wet and covered in mud. His toes feel frozen, his fingers do, too. It takes him longer than it should have to realize that the hot feeling on his face is tears.
It’s stupid, part of him tells himself, to be crying in the rain over this. Jazz is a fancy rat, a pet since the day she was born. She knows her way back to the house and will find it on her own, almost entirely safe. And if not, she’ll live with the wild rats that live in the Abbey. Either way she’s safe, there’s no reason for Copia to be crying over her. Another part of him says it isn’t Jazz he’s entirely crying for, that there are many, many reasons he has to be crying and all of it is leading to him standing in the garden and wailing. It’s a cliche, he knows it. Like the movies he has to sneak off Abbey grounds to go see in town with his allowance money. Crying in the rain, it’s such a cliche that he’d be embarrassed if he wasn’t entirely alone.
Copia isn’t sure how long he’s standing in the rain crying for. Long enough that he’s gone past cold and now every raindrop feels like ice against his skin. He wishes he’d listened to his aunt and paused to grab his shoes, even if the idea of wearing them without socks would make him physically sick under other circumstances. He wishes he’d grabbed a sweater, too, either one of the many he wears on the daily or the nice hoodie that his uncle got him for his last birthday. All of these feelings only make him cry harder.
It’s a while longer before he can finally quiet his sniffles and notices the presence of a small weight pulling on the fabric of his pyjama pants. Looking down, Copia almost, almost smiles at the sight of Jazz, climbing up his pant leg for attention.
“You came back,” Copia says, lifting Jazz into his hands and cradling her to his chest. His voice is rough from crying and Jazz feels cold in his hands, even though his own perception of temperature is equally out of whack. Jazz snuffles into his hand, curling as close to his body heat as she can get. Copia frowns and puts her into the pocket of his pants, reassuringly petting her head as he does so. She’ll be warmer surrounded by the fabric and close to his leg than she will be in his hand. He’d calmed down from crying, Jazz was back safe and sound, and now, the only thing left was to get home and see what punishment awaited him for running out in the middle of the night and ignoring his aunt and uncle.
This plan, to return home, is stopped by the sound of voices.
Copia frowns, creeping slowly deeper into the gardens. He isn’t usually allowed in the gardens. He’d been scolded by both humans and Ghouls many times as a child for his clumsiness, and somewhere around the fortieth or fiftieth pot he accidentally broke trying to help, he wasn’t allowed back into the gardens. Now that he was older they’d gotten lax with it and allowed him to at least wander the area, but he wasn’t allowed to pick up anything or pick anything up, and the earth Ghouls always kept a very close watch on him. Curiosity only grew as one of the voices seemed to grow heated and Copia crept closer and closer until, finally, he could see the two people standing in front of the greenhouse.
One was tall, at least over six feet, and the other was only a bit taller than Copia, who had recently hit a growth spurt but was still fairly short. The shorter of the two turned away from the taller and Copia dove into one of the bushes lining the path, hiding to be sure that the person didn’t see them. He was wearing all black and dark blue, and with the heavy rain, he was sure that he hadn’t been seen. The shorter person started walking towards Copia’s hiding spot anyway but not because they had seen him.
Copia squinted as the shorter person got closer, straining to hear what the voices were saying over the heavy rain and his own heartbeat in his ears. Now that the shorter person was closer, Copia could see that it was a Sister of Sin, dressed in her proper habit and gown. Was this a lover’s quarrel, then? Copia knew it was common, and even encouraged, for Brothers and Sisters of Sin to find love and comfort with each other. Most of Copia’s former classmates had come as a result of that exact situation. Now, Copia flushed as much as his cold skin allowed him to. He really had no desire to see two adults arguing. If he wanted to do that, he would just go to family dinner with Aunt Marika and watch her brothers argue. Instead, Copia stays silent, watching as the tall person follows the shorter and now they both are standing in front of the bush that Copia is crouched inside of.
They’re talking again, too quiet for Copia to be able to hear. He feels panic mounting with how close they are. He’s not technically allowed in the garden, still, and even if they’ve gotten more relaxed with it lately, he could still get in trouble for being in there unaccompanied. Not to mention the amount of trouble he’ll get into for eavesdropping on an adult’s conversation. There are any number of reasons he could get in trouble for being where he is at the moment, and all of them feel like they’re getting closer and closer to coming true the longer he stays where he is. But if he moves, he’s even more likely to get in trouble.
He’s spiralling, the longer and longer he sits and thinks, wide eyes staring up at the adults just outside his hiding place. The longer and longer he sits and thinks, the more it becomes likely to him that the worst case scenario is going to happen. He’s going to get in trouble, and Uncle Psaltarian and Aunt Marika will be mad, and then they’ll decide that he’s far more trouble than he’s worth and he’ll go back to the same orphanage they found him in and he’ll never see them or Aether or the rats or any other friend again. He’s going to be alone and scared and the orphanage probably won’t have proper blankets and he’ll have to share a bathroom and he won’t be able to take relaxing baths, he can only shower and--
His spiral is cut off by the sharp sound of skin on skin. Copia snaps his attention forward again, staring. The taller person has smacked the Sister of Sin, hard enough that she’s laying on the ground in front of Copia’s hiding place. He feels outrage and fear in equal measures filling his chest. Outrage that anyone would hurt another person so blatantly, and fear because if the tall figure was willing to do that to a Sister, what would they do to a child? The worst case scenario if he gets found out is quickly growing worse and worse, and it only grows as he continues to watch.
The Sister of Sin is dazed on the ground, clearly shocked that she’s been hit. Copia stares in equal shock as the taller figure climbs on top of her, a lance of fear shooting through his core as the Sister begins to yell in protest, slamming her fists against her attacker’s chest. Copia feels frozen, unable to consciously do anything as the Sister’s attacker wraps his hands around her head - he’s bigger than her, scarily bigger - and slams her skull against the rock walkway that they’re standing on. Copia snatches his hand back from where it crept out towards the Sister without his conscious choice. He couldn’t do anything to help her, not against an adult so much bigger than them both.
He flinches back as the attacker slams the Sister’s head into the ground again. Lifts and slams. Lifts and slams. Over and over again until her blood splatters against the bush. Copia is frozen, incapable of moving as the blood splatters over the leaves, between the leaves, and onto his face. The Sister has gone silent long before her attacker lets her head drop from his hands. It hits the stone once again, blood splattering again from the impact. It sounds like an overly ripe fruit when it hits the stone, breaking apart and getting everything sticky.
Copia hopes it’s over, prays that it is over. He’s not sure when he grabbed his rosary, but the grucifix is sharp in his hand and his numb lips are clumsy over silent, mouthed prayers. Surely this is a bad dream, isn’t it? He prays for it to be a dream as he watches the attacker lean down and latch his teeth around the Sister’s throat. Copia’s mouth opens in a scream as the man turns his head and tears. 
The sound is sickening. It sounds like nothing Copia has heard before and the blood spurts out, bigger and more intense than anything he’s ever seen before. Her heart is still beating, then, she’s still alive, though Copia prays that it isn’t for long. The attacker repeats the action on her wrists, her arms. Copia averts his eyes as the attacker rips the Sister’s gown apart and tears into her thighs and breasts and stomach.
He sneaks a hand out only after the attacker has stood and turned away from them, only when Copia can fix his eyes on the Sister and still see the rapid, painful rise and fall of her chest. He takes her hand in his, gently as he can. She’s still warm. She makes a noise, something low and wounded like an animal. She doesn’t have the strength or ability to squeeze his hand back, but he holds hers anyway. He stays until the rise and fall of her chest goes still and the bleeding from her wounds slows to a stop. He stays until the attacker walks away and only stands when he’s sure the man is gone. He hears, distantly, a ruffling in another part of the garden, what could be footsteps or could be his imagination.
He isn’t sure when the rain stopped, isn’t sure how he walks the path to the home he has shared with his aunt and uncle since before he can remember. He’s silent the whole time. The blood on his face and hands has gone cold and tacky against his skin. He hates the feeling of it, hates the scent, the taste when he licks his lips without thinking and has to stop for minutes to vomit into the flowers that Aunt Marika has always maintained so carefully. He rings the doorbell, because he didn’t even grab his keys before he ran after Jazz and Aunt Marika is sure to have a fit if he walks in soaking wet.
His aunt screams when she opens the door, but Copia feels numb. He doesn’t react when she sobs his name, barely reacts when his uncle grabs him to his chest and holds him tight, as if checking he’s really alive. They yell questions at him, and more people yell more questions at him in the minutes and hours that come after he is led into the living room and made to sit on the couch. He has half a mind to apologize to Aunt Marika for getting water and mud and blood all over her floors and nice furniture, but the words won’t come out. There are so many, many people shouting at him and he feels like he wants to itch his skin off. There are tears on his face again, he’s not able to fight them as they cut clean lines down the skin of his cheeks. People are still yelling, demanding answers to questions that he can’t hear because the words just sound like noises, like the ones adults make in cartoons. Finally, all he manages to get out is;
“There’s a woman in the garden.”
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starphasedd · 2 years ago
Text
Unmade
2 - The Encounter
(Din Djarin x F!Reader)
Rating: 18+ for violence, explicit language, and smut.
Synopsis: "After a week alone on an unknown jungle planet, the Mandalorian returns to you from his hunt, but he isn't well."
Word count: 4k +
Chapter 1 | AO3 | Next chapter - coming soon
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9Aby - Unknown jungle planet  - Present 
You stopped asking a while back. 
Today it was  " unknown jungle planet, pretty rainy. It smells fresh, like summer morning dew drops." 
You were writing notes in your datapad. You never had the chance to travel, so you wanted to keep a diary of sorts . You did it for every planet you visited.
"Not a soul in sight. Lots of bugs though. The kid likes eating them."
No sun breaks through the dark storm clouds above. It's the middle of the day, but it's dark as if it were night. A cool breeze passes through the inside of the Crest as you sit atop of the gangplank, just out of reach of the rain. 
"Tall, thick pine-trees circle the ship, providing plenty of privacy. Hides us from any wandering enemies. Thick fog rolls in and out at times too."
The baby sits next to you on the cold durasteel, watching you type on your data pad. He coos softly, his head tilting as he studies the motions of your fingers. You glance down at him through your peripherals and smile. 
"Mando's been gone for almost a week. Hoping he returns soon. Tired of the rain; ready for a new backdrop. Something sunny and bright."  
Mando was hunting a well known smuggler who was last seen heading towards this planet. You couldn't blame the guy, if you were honest. This planet consists of nothing but dense wooded areas; all kinds of places for him to hideout until whoever was after him gave up. 
That week, you spent a lot of time playing with the kid. He was pretty entertaining. He got into everything . Which was trouble. The little wamp rat was constantly trying to run out past the campsite and into the trees. Even after Mando gave explicit instructions not to leave the ship. But you couldn't stay cooped up there all week. Had he come back a little sooner, maybe. But he's been gone for six days . Could he honestly expect you and the little bundle of energy to stay on the ship ? 
Shoot first and ask for forgiveness later. 
It didn't rain the entire time you were there, thankfully. Earlier in the week, the two of you ventured out a little past the ship to see if you could find anything to snack on. Mushrooms, or berries. Maybe even some new spices you could take back to the ship. There was pre-made food on the ship. But you'd been eating those ration packs for months. You were dying to taste something new. Something fresh . 
It turned out to be no luck for you, unfortunately. However, the baby did find a nest of indigenous bugs. He enjoyed those thoroughly. The little terrorist ripped through the nest like he hadn't eaten anything in a solar cycle. You can remember the distinct crunch , and then the sound of their gooey insides being chomped around in his mouth. Not one of your favorite moments with the kid. 
It took you a few months to get used to him and his little quirks. He was well behaved for the most part. He was quiet and respectful. He didn't really make messes. If he did, he never complained when you instructed him to pick them up. He did have his moments though. It usually involved what he considered 'tasty food'. You'd say that was his biggest quirk. He wouldn't eat anything normal if you weren't there to make him; to ensure he got proper nutrients as any growing boy should. 
Sometimes he would fight you on the regular food–the ration packs. He hated the goopy consistency of them. You did too, for that matter. You wondered how Mando survived on them all of these years. But, that's what he provided. And you weren't disrespectful. You took what he gave you with a smile. 
Once you had enough credits saved up, you wanted to treat him and the baby to a nice, real dinner. Something that a red blooded man like Mando could use. Protein and carbohydrates. Maybe even some wine. 
You'd make a note to ask him that. 
"Does the Mandalorian drink wine?" 
Something to thank him for his generosity and hospitality. Taking you on his ship. Giving you a job; an easy one . Saving you from that spice addict all those months ago…
You think back on that night often. Sometimes it keeps you awake in the darkness of the Crest's haul. You think about how his deep, modulated voice rang through the durasteel halls of your shop. You think about how he didn't hesitate to step in once he saw you were in immediate danger. You think about how… big he looked in his armor; how wide and bulky he was. His arms burst from under the Beskar pauldrons. You think about how gentle and soft he was once he secured your safety, immediately coming to your aid to check on you. 
All for a woman he had never met before?? Just a lowly mechanic in a rundown shop on Tatooine. Dirty and covered in grease. Sweaty from a hot summer day. Probably smelly.
He didn't seem like an overly friendly person. He kept to himself. He was quiet and only spoke to you when absolutely necessary. Sometimes it's like you weren't even there. 
You were still enamored by him, though.
Your thoughts weren't always pure, either. It concerns you how often you find your brain falling down a slippery slope to a sexual fantasy of your employer. It was easy to get rid of them in the beginning. You would simply start thinking of something else, something to distract you. It quickly became more difficult the more time you spent with him in this tight space. 
You often wondered how he fucked. Does he even fuck ? Is he celibate? Is celibacy part of Mandalorian culture? Had he ever fucked before? Would he fuck you slow or fast? Would he fuck you hard or would he be gentle with you, like he was at your shop?
Your legs are crossed, thighs pressing together before you even realize what's going on. A fire in your core begins to burn like the Tatooine suns, threatening to shoot you into a dark state of arousal. A tension you could probably never resolve. 
At that point, you don't realize your fingers are moving across the datapad…
"How big is he…."
You're almost in a trance, cheeks heated and red as your fingers move without supervision. You snap out of it when the baby coos next to you. You glance down at him, his big brown eyes watching you in wonderment. He cocks his head to the side as if he's curious and you clear your throat, also trying to clear your mind of the inappropriate thoughts you were having. 
In the flustered process, you didn't even read what you had subconsciously written down; setting the data pad down next to you and picking the child up. Rain still patters softly on the crest, the wind blowing the tall trees circling around you.
The smell of the rain reminds you of him.
He was very clean. It was surprising to see a man shower so frequently. The men you encountered in life were never really conscious of their body odor. Mando was the opposite. He always smelled so good ; fresh like summer rain. Even coming back to the ship after a long, tiring, and perilous hunt, he still always smelled faintly like his soap, mixed with fresh dirt and plasma burn from his blaster. It was enamoring. 
You could almost smell it now as you sat atop the gangplank of the Crest. It was a distinct smell of his that stuck with you. It was his husky smell, mixed with cool air and rain water. Small droplets bounce off the durasteel shell of the Crest as you sit silently next to the baby. And you’re shocked when you see trees rustling in the distance. 
There’s a plasma gun in your pocket and your hand drops to hold it tightly–just in case. But a warm chill runs through your body and you exhale a sigh of relief when Mando emerges from the gloom of the forest. 
He looks weathered and tired.
You squint and wonder why he’s moving so slow, but then you see the body he’s dragging behind him. This bounty was massive . 
Stars , how could he transport that thing all by himself? 
You stand on the gangplank to greet him, grabbing the baby and holding him against your chest. Once he gets a little closer, you can see why he’s struggling a little more than usual with this bounty. Apart from its massive girth. Mando is limping. And his flight suit looks torn to shreds. Maker, this one really put up a fight didn't he? 
As he approaches, you quickly turn and rush to the baby’s pram, setting him inside and shutting the top for now. Once the baby is secure in his bed, you head back down the plank to assist Mando. He trudges up the ramp slowly, stopping half way and you swear you see him wobble a few times. When you approach, you rest your hands on his left shoulder to help stabilize him. He stops dead in his tracks and looks down at you. His hands are still holding onto the bounty tightly. 
You pause, hoping you didn’t insult him by touching his shoulder. His chest rises slowly, but he’s taking much bigger breaths than any normal man should. Had he been shot as well? He watches you intently through the T-visor for a few moments, as if he’s collecting his thoughts. 
You’re out from under the protection of the Crest’s haul now, rain pouring over your head and soaking your body. You look up at him through wet lashes. You mouth “what??”, as the sound of the rain now pouring down drowns your voice out. 
He’s still just standing there, staring at you. 
At this point, you’re getting irritated. Now soaked and just standing  in the pouring rain. You shove him forward, and that’s when he seems to snap out of his stupor. He stumbles into the Crest, throwing the lifeless bounty near the carbonite chambers. You step inside and immediately close the gangplank after him. When you turn around, he’s standing still with his back facing you. 
You can see he has multiple deep cuts, and he’s visibly exhausted. Almost makes you feel bad for getting irritated with him. 
You slowly start to approach him from behind, but then he whips around like he could see you coming. He’s still breathing heavy, his chest rising high and falling low with his deep breaths. His head hangs low, but the T-visor is still trained on you. His fists are opening and closing at his sides. 
You stand there for a moment with caution. Something is wrong.  
“You okay…?” You ask.
He stands there, staring at you for a few more moments before he turns silently and starts walking towards the fresher in the back of the ship. You watch him, utterly befuddled by this odd behavior. Really, it’s not like he ever speaks to you. You have yourself convinced that he doesn't even remember you exist half the time. He’ll cross paths with you on the ship like you’re a ghost floating in thin air. 
He normally retreats and treats his own wounds when he does come back injured, but this is different. 
The way he looked at you. How he stopped in his tracks when you touched him. How you felt his muscles tense at the gentle contact. His heavy breathing and his hands twitching at his sides. You noticed all of it. Something about it seemed…primal. 
Primal and undisciplined. 
Your mouth hangs agape as you watch the fresher door slide shut. For a few moments, you try to gather your thoughts. Such odd behavior.  
After gathering yourself and your thoughts for a couple more moments, you step forward and begin heading up to the cockpit. Once there, you sit in the pilot's chair and listen to the soft pattering of the rain dropping against the Crest. It’s dark in here, no sunlight shining through as storm clouds continue to cover the sky on the wretched planet.
You sit back in the leather seat, letting your head rest against it.
You rest your eyes for a few moments. A few moments turns into an hour when you accidentally fall asleep. 
When you wake up, it’s still raining and dark. You look around, Mando still isn't here. taking another deep breath before you open them again and will yourself to climb out of the pilot’s seat. You slowly make your way  down the ladder from the cockpit, to the fresher door. Normally when Mando is in the shower, you can see a thick fog seeping from underneath the door–he takes hot showers. Right now, you don’t spot any fog. You don't hear any noise. 
You gently rest your ear against the door to see if you can hear anything, but you don’t hear a peep. Now your heart is starting to race. He’s normally done by now. He washes up quickly–even if he is wounded. He dresses his wounds at lightspeed. 
After listening for a few moments longer, you still don’t hear anything. 
Out of slight panic, your hand comes up without even realizing it and knocks on the fresher door. Just once. 
You listen. No answer. 
Two more knocks. 
No answer. 
"Mando?” You ask loudly enough for him to hear you. 
You hold your breath for a moment so you don’t miss anything. 
“Are you okay?” You warn, voice wavering. 
Still no answer, but you do hear a faint groan. It’s very faint–like he didn’t intend for you to hear it at all.
“If you don’t answer I’m coming–.” You start to warn, but you’re cut off when the door to the fresher busts open. A violent wash of air hits you in the face, sending all of your hair falling to your back. 
Mando stands before you, breathing heavily than he was earlier. He leans on one side of the doorway while his hand rests on the fresher door where he forced it open. He grunts and shoves past you like you aren't even there. You turn to watch him limp over to a cabinet that’s built into the haul of the Crest. His gloved fingers tangle around the handle but he struggles to open it. He now has one hand on his side, holding a fresh wound. 
Maker, why is he so fucking stubborn? 
You approach him from behind, careful not to get too close in this state. It’s almost like he can sense you’re getting close because he stops what he’s doing and shuffles away from you again. That hurts a little. 
“Let me help,” You say sweetly, trying to bring him comfort. 
He groans audibly through his helmet. His breaths are shaky and gravely. 
“Go away.” He finally speaks. 
“You need help.” You say, getting a little closer to him again. This time he doesn’t move as much. 
“Y’--can’t help.” He mumbles, still clutching his side. He starts to slump over against the wall. The beskar clunks when it hits the cold durasteel. 
Slowly and very carefully, you approach him and gently lay your hand on his shoulder. A shockwave of chills run down his body and he lets out another hoarse groan. 
“Tell me what’s wrong.” You say, bringing your other hand to lay over his shoulder. Both hands now softly against his body. 
He huffs through the vocoder, slowly turning his helmet towards you. It drags on the wall as he does so. 
“Aphrodisiac…” He mumbles, it's barely audible, and he isn't enunciating very well right now. 
You lean a bit closer to hear better. “What?” 
He grunts out of frustration, his hand balling into a fist on the wall as you inch closer to him. His muscles tense and he lets out another shaky breath. 
“B-bounty hit me wit-with a…..” 
It’s at that moment you finally realize what’s been going on. Your cheeks flush a bright pink and your eyes open a little wider than they were before. That’s why he couldn’t stop staring at you when you touched him. 
An aphrodisiac is a drug that stimulates sexual desire–makes all forms of decency and pleasantries go out the window. It scratches a primal desire deep within, and cannot be flushed out of the system without release. It stimulates the senses–which explains why he was so sensitive when you touched him just now. 
You keep your hands on his shoulder, watching him as you contemplate your next move. Should you offer to help him? What would he think? Would he turn you down? Fire you for making advances on him ? Your breath is caught in your throat and your heart is now racing. Your mouth is going dry, your lips starting to chap as you think of your next move. He hasn't said anything in a moment. He’s still leaning up against the wall, his helmet resting on the cold durasteel. For a moment you think it may just stay this way, but then he speaks.
He turns his helmet a little towards you again. “Y-’need t-to leave…the s-ship..” He mumbles. 
You lock eyes on his t-visor again. “I can’t just leave you like this.”
You watch as his hand leaves the wall and comes back to grab yours. His cold leather glove feels like ice when it wraps around your much smaller and delicate digits. He grabs you hard, and pulls your hands away from his shoulder. When he releases your hands, that same gloved hand that just grabbed you flies up and flattens against your chest, shoving you back against the cold wall. His palm butterflies against your skin, covering your entire chest. 
You grunt at the harsh impact, your lower back immediately arching off the wall, coming closer to his waist. 
“Leave. Now .” He hisses. One hand remains butterflied on your chest while the other holds him off the wall above your head, boxing you in. 
Your face is still bright pink, and now your breathing is a little elevated. Your lips part to speak, but when he shifts on his feet you glance down and see how painfully hard he is under his trousers. The sight of him like this sends an erotic chill down your spine. Your mouth is hanging open again, soft breaths sneaking through your teeth. He doesn't say anything, just stands above you–his chest puffing up and down in a rhythmic fashion as he tries to control his primal urges. 
Your lashes flutter as you look back up into his T-visor. You want to offer him a resolution. You want to offer him release . But you’re nervous he may shoot you down. His body radiates like a furnace above you, making yours burn in return. 
“ I can help you .” Your voice is just above a whisper, eyes shooting back and forth rapidly as you try to catch his eyes through the tinted visor of his helmet. 
He remains in front of you, his chest heaving up and down like a medieval mammal getting ready to attack its prey. His fingers twitch on the wall next to your head. It’s almost scary how still he is as he stands over you. 
When he doesn’t respond, you slowly reach both hands to rest them on his stomach. Once your palms are flattened on his toned stomach, you slowly begin to snake them around his armored sides–with much caution of course. You keep your eyes on his helmet to gauge his reaction as you proceed slowly. Your fingers grip the taut fabric of his flight suit gently, and you slowly start to pull him towards you. 
He doesn’t pull back. 
With your hands now on his waist, you’re pulling his clothed erection towards your front. Without warning, he removes his hand from your chest and flattens it up against the wall next to your head. He’s leaning in now–going with you. When you get his waist close enough to yours, you take the initiative to lift one of your legs up, helping to fit him in nicely between your thighs, while letting one of your feet remain on the floor to keep you steady. Now he’s hot and hard against your clothed core. He burns like the Tatooine suns combined, bringing more friction to your core as he slowly presses himself against you. 
He groans loudly this time, his gloved fingers digging into the durasteel wall behind you. 
Your hands continue to grip his waist and pull him as close to you as possible. And soon, he starts letting his upper body fall against you as well. He’s so much bigger this close up. He towers over you, leaning most of his weight on you now. He doesn’t let his helmet fall this time though. 
No. 
He wants to watch your reaction as he starts to thrust against your clothed core. 
His hips roll in deep harsh thrusts, forcing your entire body back and up the wall as he starts to really man-handle you. 
He leans into you harder, letting his right arm drop so he can grab ahold of the pillowy flesh of your hip and hold your leg up steady against his waist. He spreads you a little too while doing so. He holds you there, pushing into you harder and faster by the second. 
Something hot and heavy is starting to burn inside you. He thrusts his hips into yours, his hard cock rubbing against your clothed core without shame. You never thought it could feel this good when there wasn’t skin-to-skin involved but maker does he know what he is doing. Does he know what he's doing or is this just pure, blind, lust taking over his body?
This has to be a fever dream or something because holy fuck . There’s no way the Mandalorian–big, mean and unwavering–is dry humping you right now. The most feared bounty hunter in all the galaxies is holding you up against a wall, panting in your ear like a rancor in heat, and rubbing his hard cock against you. 
Your body jolts up and down against his, your back still firm against the cold wall. He grunts as his thrusts become more quick and needy. He lets his helmet drop to lay in the nape of your neck. A bead of sweat rolls from your forehead and drops onto the cold beskar of his helmet. He pants loudly into your skin as he continues fucking you over your clothes. One of his hands remains on your hip, the other one moves to snake behind your head so you can rest it. You let out a whimper when he thrusts on you particularly hard–his hard cock pressing against your sensitive clothed clit. 
“S-smell so good…” He mumbles into your neck. 
You glide your hands up his body, letting one hand slide up the back of his neck to massage the base of his skull. He mmm’s low in his throat, nuzzling further into your soft skin as he continues to dry hump you. 
“S’soft….fuck, you’re s-so soft sweet girl…..” He speaks. 
You smile softly, resting your cheek against the cold beskar helmet as his thrusts start to become sloppy. You whimper when he hits that sweet spot again, putting friction on your swollen clit. 
When you moan, he starts thrusting faster. His grip tightens on your thigh, and he pulls your body closer to his. He’s sloppy now, hinting at his upcoming release. 
"Y-you close? m’--y-you gonna cum?” He asks–and fuck . You wish you were. 
It’s too much though. This all came on so fast that you can’t really focus and enjoy what he’s doing to you. No, it’s more difficult than that. You’re too focused on other things like the feeling of his helmet resting on your shoulder. Or the sounds he’s making of which you never ever thought you’d hear. Or the way he’s talking. The way squeezing your hip so hard that you know it’ll be bruised tomorrow. It feels so fucking good –but you don’t know if you can cum for him just yet. But he doesn’t need to know that. 
“Yeah..” You whimper softly as he thrusts up against you. 
You grip him a bit harder, letting him get as close as possible to reach his release. When he does, it’s magnificent. His first behind you smashes into the haul with force and he groans something in a foreign language. His body shutters violently and you feel the warmth spreading in his trousers. The hand wrapped around your hip slowly starts to lose tension, and eventually falls from you. Your leg falls limp with it, your foot slamming against the floor. 
He huffs heavy breaths against your neck, still leaning against you. You breathe heavily with him, letting your head fall back against the wall. 
After a few moments you notice his heavy breathing has stopped. 
“Mando?” You ask through a whisper. 
He doesn’t answer. You soon know why, because a few moments later you realize his body is getting heavier and heavier. He starts to fall, completely knocked out as he lays against you. You curse as he starts to slide and you have no choice but to go with him. His beskar armor clunks heavily on the floor. 
You sit up and look down at him after you finally manage to wiggle from underneath him. 
How the fuck are you supposed to get him into his cot now?
---
Chapter theme: Lavender Haze - Taylor Swift
@orcasoul @dins-riduur-anthe @drawingdroid
54 notes · View notes
cloudyswritings · 1 year ago
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The Dreamers: Headcanons
Herrah:
The youngest of the dreamers by a significant amount.
She consumed her last mate, the old king of deepnest, after age started to weaken him. This was widely regarded by deepnest populous as a good move.
In the early days of her reign she had to deal with many spiders who chaffed under her rule. This is because she initially came from the lower castes of deepnest. Her title as the beast was one originally given as an insult in hopes calling attention to her caste would undermine her rule. Suffice to say Herrah made the title her own, and executed her political enemies publicly.
She struggled a lot with dealing with young hornet, mostly because Hornet is far more Wyrm than spider. As a grub Hornet was only vocalizing like a young Wyrm would-on frequencies Herrah couldn’t hear- which caused Herrah to worry about her a lot. Eventually she went to the king and(begrudgingly) asked him to teach her about Hornets biology. After that things got much better.
She keeps a small bowl of metal splinters on the counter for Hornet—who needs metal to develop her shell properly— to eat. Getting Hornet to eat her metals was a constant struggle.
Herrah was a fantastic mother and tried to do her best by Hornet in the time she had.
She made a small quilt for baby hornet. Hornet has kept this quilt for the entirety of her life and it’s one of her most prized possessions.
Herrah definitely has some skeletons in her closet, she started out as a mercenary before catching the eye of the old king of deepnest and marrying up. She killed quite a few bugs and spiders on her way up to queendom.
favorite color is purple
She won’t tell anyone but she has a massive sweet tooth, especially for hive honey.
she’s a bi queen for sure, and almost certainly had a crush on Vespa.
She and the white lady ended up being fairly good friends, though it was hard for Herrah to get used to the slow pace the white lady thinks at. She let the white lady grubsit Hornet even outside of the time Hornet spent living at the palace.
Lurien:
I’m on the Lurien is a butterfly train, I think it even makes a lot of sense for him to be one. Specially a a blue morpho(some of my favorite butterflies)
Because he’s a butterfly he really likes salty or otherwise mineral rich foods, he often drinks a sort of saltwater tea, with a ton of nectar in it.
His wings are deformed, they never fully expanded when he emerged from his chrysalis. It’s part of why he doesn’t interact with the people of the city so often, he was excluded from a lot of traditional activities by other butterflies before leading the city.
He’s got a limited sense of foresight—this foresight is something that rarely appears in beings touched by the kings light— it’s generally not that helpful though, often all he sees is ravenous darkness…
Takes long naps, but he’s a light sleeper
He's quite the painter and prefers realism to other forms of art, if he hadn’t gone to dream he’d probably have branched out in 50 years or so.
Monomon:
She has a very fine sense of temperature and pressure fluctuations in the air, this is basically her way of finding thermals to float on.
Has actually talked to Unn before she left to dream, mostly just about the history of the lands around Hallownest
Before she came to Hallownest she was a highly renowned poet, she eventually got bored with poetry and moved on to learning the sciences.
First and foremost she’s a biochemist, she used her knowledge to aide with the initial phases of the vessel project.
She brought all sorts of samples from her homeland when she arrived in Hallownest, fog canyon is a result of her artificially recreating her home.
She did something to the air in the canyon to make if behave more like water, it has something to do with chemical additives. As a result normal bugs are advised to spend minimal time in fog canyon because the air is mildly acidic and the humidity is higher than most bugs are comfortable with.
Quirrel is fine there though, because he’s a pill bug and needs the humidity
I know a lot of people like to portray Monomon as Quirrels mom, but I really see them more as peers. They’re both independently acclaimed scientists who have a mutual respect for eachother— and a small whisper of what could have been by the time she goes to dream.
Likes meaty foods, her mouth is on the underside of her body.
Shes the oldest of the dreamers, having been a higher being before coming to Hallownest. She doesn’t really behave like it though.
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eyes-that-decieve · 1 year ago
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((Alis statement time!))
((Massive TW for child neglect (you know, lonely stuff), narcissistic parenting (probably inaccurate representation of it but we ball), moths, blood, description of (severe amounts of) insect bites, trypophobia, missing eyes.))
She didn't really interact with me other than when she needed to. Dad did his best, but Mother tried to keep him as far away from me as she could. Claimed,'He would turn her little doll against her.' I could never keep any friends for longer than a week. They were so scared of Mother. She always chased away my friends.
[Tape recorder click, tape begins to whir]
Alis: Do you want my statement? I know you haven't had one for a bit, and I can see you're curious.
Styx: Only if you're comfortable with it. I don't want to force anything from you if you don't want to remember it.
Alis: It's a statement, you know I'm not. I'm going to give it to you anyway, say your words.
Styx: [Sigh] Fine. Statement of Alis, regarding their mother and events leading up to their Becoming. Statement taken direct from subject, the 21st of May, 2024. Statement begins.
Alis: I wasn't truly aware of how my family acted towards me for a long time. I was my mother's lovely little doll, to be dressed up in pretty frilly dresses and shown off in front of the relatives.
It was very lonely as a kid. Wake up, make myself breakfast, walk to school, then head home, make my own dinner, go to bed. Mother was always out, but I can't remember her explanations as to why. Looking back on the few I can recall, they don't sound quite right to me now. I know she wasn't drinking or anything like that. She was always sober and distant when she came home.
Whenever she was there, it was to dress me up for something. A party of some sort, usually. Wear the dress, chin up, elbows off the table, don't ruin the image. Our image, she said, but I never cared for that. Remembering now, it was always about her. Look pretty, show off her work to the relatives. She always seemed colder, more calculated when talking to me like that. She spoke in a very sweet voice and smiled at the relatives, though. They always fawned over her, cooing at me and saying what a pretty thing I was. Mother always beamed at the praise, as if it them saying I was pretty extended to her. Like a child showing off an art project and puffing up at the compliments over their work. She got enough compliments herself for her striking makeup and dresses that always seemed to almost float, moving like fog.
How can you be alone when you're surrounded by people? How can you be lonely if you are constantly talked to and told "you would look so much better if you lost a little weight" or "don't wear that, you'll embarrass us!"
Maybe two years ago, I started finding little dots on my clothes in the closet. Only on the dresses I never wanted to wear. I left whatever they were where they were, maybe out of spite, but I really didn't care. It's not like I wore them very often, and Mother would be able to buy new ones, though she would be livid about it. Mother knew best, but she would could DEAL WITH IT.
Maybe a few days later, the dots were gone, spiky green caterpillars in their place. I wasn't usually a big fan of bugs, but these ones never bit, only crawling on my hands if I sat next to them. They seemed to like me. Not long after, all the dresses were moth eaten, and after a week, they were completely ruined. They never touched my other clothes, only the ones that reminded me of what I hated.
After that, there were cocoons on my clothes. These were on the ones I wore, but I didn't even notice for a while. It just looked like white spots, like I must have accidentally spilled bleach on my sweater. But if I felt it, I could feel something under the white silk. I didn't want to disturb them, so I didn't put the clothes with the cocoons into the wash.
Two weeks, and the first of the moths emerged. They held on to my sweater as I was wearing it, letting orange and red wings dry in the air. I would take the remains of the cocoon off of the fabric after they were free, so Mother wouldn't see it. She had been home much more than usual those past few weeks, checking in on me more than she ever had.
I heard a loud crash from downstairs days later and came down there to see she had crushed one of the moths. Its wings were crumpled between her fist and the wall. She looked up at me, her eyes seeming to pin me to the wall, just like that moth. Somehow, I knew that was my first moth. Just like I knew she was blaming me for this. After that, I would always hide my moths whenever she checked on me. I started keeping their cocoons under my sweater vest when I wore it, so she wouldn't see. I was never scared of them, I was only scared she would kill them, and I would be alone again.
Last year, she wanted to have her birthday party at our house. She invited all her friends and family, it was to be a really fancy party. Not that all the other ones hadn't been, but she had her heart set on a bigger one.
When the time came for us to get ready, Mother would always get dressed and ready first, so she could help me and pretty me up to exactly what I should look like. This time, she came into my room in her usual clothes, holding an absolutely ruined dress. Apparently, some of my moths had gotten into her closet, too. She screamed at me that this was all my fault, and she was ruined. Her party was ruined. Her image, ruined.
She came in too fast for everyone to hide in time, a few still perched on my hair. She raised a hand as if to crush one of the moths near her, but I shouted at her to stop. I wasn't going to have any more friends chased away. I stood up to stop her, but I wasn't fast enough. She caught one of the moths between two hands, and pulled off one of its wings. That was the last straw. The entire swarm flew out from the closet, covering her until I couldn't even see her anymore under the flapping wings. She must have screamed, but I barely heard anything. I must've had more friends than I thought.
She fell at some point, all the moths on her back caught between her and the floor. After a few minutes, they all flocked back to me, leaving Mother crumpled on the floor.
Her skin was covered in small holes where pieces were bitten off, and parts of her cheeks were fully chewed through. Her clothes were fairly intact, just tattered at the edges. When she turned her head towards me, her eyes were GONE.
I ran from that house. I tried to run from my friends, but they found me. Something told me they wouldn't hurt me. Something told me they were my friends now. They are part of me.
Alis: Okay, that's it.
Styx: You seriously let me compel that out of you?!? [Sigh]
Alis: No, no, it's fine-
[Tape recorder clicks off]
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valorieloduska · 3 months ago
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Working In A Small Town/Living In A Big City - Alternately, I Think I Miss My Hometown
I got my first 'big kid' office job, and every weekday I drive out of the big city to a little suburb, a small town, a world of winding neighborhoods and one high school and competing Easter egg hunts happening across the street from each other. The office in which I work is along the main street of this little place, and every morning I pass by the elementary school with its gray and brown playsets and the town museum that I'm confident can't hold more than three rooms' worth of artifacts.
The office itself is mostly just two big rooms with little closet-like rooms that line the sides, my desk softly occupying the corner of the biggest room, directly across from the big window that has a view of only the empty, grass-filled lot that sprawls multiple blocks across the street. I'm usually alone in the mornings. I connect to the speakers in the office and listen to music, and I work, and I draw, and I drink my coffee.
Around eleven every morning, I get up from the chair and desk that is my world for forty hours a week and I make my way to the little bakery and general store that are to the right of the office, walking along the sidewalk instead of crossing the parking lots inhabited along the edges by little birds and in the middle by broken glass.
The bakery is this oddly-shaped building that juts up from the landscape, emanating a stately and all-knowing presence. I've always thought that it looked almost like a steamship that had run aground and lost its smokestack. There's an entry way, a set of doors before another, and there is this wooden, musty smell that permeates everything within that small space, and I am reminded of the old farmhouse in which I grew up every time I go.
The only words that accurately describe the interior are cluttered and homey. A large espresso machine takes up half of the counter, glass-fronted fridges are squeezed up against the wall, holding pre-made lunches for those that work along the main street, like I do, and every possible place that a display table could be, there is one. The items change out regularly, and range from homemade breads, fresh-baked muffins, ceramic dishes, decorative metal chickens, block-printed kitchen towels, and farmhouse-themed signs. I usually gravitate towards the breads first.
The ladies who work at the bakery are nice - at least, most of them are. I've heard conflicting things about all of them, but they've only ever been nice to me. There's one who's about my age that I see often, and she remembers my name and my coffee order and compliments my outfits. She asks about how things are at the office, and she asks about the Easter egg hunts, and she asks me if I've seen that stray dog again, and if I left out the treats she'd given me for him.
Once I've gotten my second latte of the day and my pre-made lunch (it's usually chicken salad of some sort), I leave the bakery, and make my way back to the office, always taking the crack-ridden sidewalk, careful not to step on the worms and bugs that like to join me on my journeys.
I think I miss my hometown.
I think I miss something that isn't quite the simplicity, but rather the feeling that whichever coffee shop I went to, they always knew my name, and they'd ask about my grandmother, and they'd ask about my teaching job, how it was going, if the museum was so cold I always needed a sweater, if the rumors they'd heard about the renovations were true. I think I miss the brick-lined roads and the old Victorian homes and the church bells that would ring out in the morning, cutting through the fog and dawn-lit hours of the morning.
I miss careening down those dusty country roads with my best friend in my old red truck, and we'd always laugh because it was so funny that instead of some teenage boys in that truck, it was two teachers in their twenties. And it was funny, but it was also clandestine and fated and by God, we knew we were on borrowed time, on stolen time, chasing the summer air as if it was something that we could catch but I knew, and I think that I always knew, that the first winds of fall would catch us by the split ends of our hair and force us to fall backwards and scrape the palms of our hands.
I saw that friend earlier this week, and it was like no time had passed since I last saw her that summer. I think I laughed so hard I cried. But near the end of the night, I saw the bags under her eyes and realized that she'd gotten older - that I'd gotten older.
We've all gotten older.
The small town in which I work is frozen in place, frozen in time, reminding me of the time that I stole from God himself and placed into the hand of my friend, closing her fingers around it and begging her not to forget me as I jumped off the deep end. And when I jumped, she didn't forget me, even if everyone else did. I jumped, and I jumped, and I jumped, and I landed yet again in small town Kansas, though a different town than the first one, and yet she is still here, holding onto the time that I stole, waiting for me to come take it back from her.
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tazlov · 1 year ago
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Viridian Mercy: Chapter 1
“...Hello…? Can you hear me…?”
I breathed in deep as my senses started to return to me. Something bright shone in my eyes; I shied away from it, turning my head with a groan.
“Can you tell me your name?”
The light went away suddenly, and a gentle hand guided my head upright again. I did not recognize the person tending to me, but they had the universal sign for medicine embroidered on their uniform.
“Hey, can you tell me your name?” They tried again to get me to focus.
I tried speaking, but coughed instead. This time I was good. “...Samantha Down.”
“Okay, good. Do you know where you are right now?”
I glanced around for clues. Nothing really came to me… there was a mask on my face, and little bugs crawling around my person. It was nighttime on this planet… last time I was awake, it was broad daylight.
How long was I out for? How long had I been dying?
“...Don’t know…” I eventually croaked out, trying to move away from this stranger.
“Alright. My name is Veth, I'm gonna be taking care of you, okay?” The medic strapped something to my arm, and waved someone else to join her. They worked together to hoist me onto what felt like a bed but I could only assume it was a stretcher, then hovered me to somewhere cooler and with less bugs.
In my delirium, I could only see shining lights and cold metal. This girl was kind of cute, though. It was only a passive thought as I stared at her… I wasn’t really myself at that moment.
“Doing okay, Samantha?” The medic tied a tourniquet onto my arm, found a vein, then swabbed the arm with a cold alcohol wipe.
“...Just Sam…” All I could think to say was correcting her on my name. I hated the name Samantha.
“Alright, Sam, you're gonna feel a little pinch.” And a pinch I felt. Didn't hurt that much, compared to how the rest of my body was feeling. Aching, bruises, maybe a broken bone somewhere. 
I don't even remember how this happened. Or how the Viridian Alpha-Hotel team found me.
“Human female in her twenties, BP 90 over 75. Pulse 48. How are you feeling, Sam?” Clearly an attempt to keep me awake as the world drifted and blurred. 
I tried my best to keep my eyes on her. But she definitely injected me with something. “...Fine.”
She smiled a little, looking confused. She glanced up at her partner. “...Pretty impressive.”
“Yeah,” the other one chuckled. “If that were me, I'd be crying on the floor right now.”
“...I'm good like that.” I smirked, attempting humor. It worked.
“Alright, Sam,” the medic refocused, untying the tourniquet and keeping an IV in my arm. “We're gonna take you somewhere safer.”
“Cool.”
“I want you to count down from ten for me, okay?” The medic found another needle, checking it for air bubbles before injecting it.
“...Okay. Ten… nine…”
I don't remember anything after that.
---
Viridian Alpha-Hotel were some pretty slick dudes, that was for sure. I was patched up in no time.
I woke up again in a small bed, somewhere sterile, somewhere white. Really white. Somehow my own skin didn’t even compare.
They decided to keep that girl near me, checking things like vitals and noting down my condition. She must have been a doctor on-call or something.
“Hi, Sam!” The medic looked up as my heart rate quickened, and it was detected on the monitor. She stood from her seat, setting aside her tablet. “How are you feeling?”
“Pretty… pretty slow.” Slow was the right word. I felt more awake, but somewhat groggy, and everything else somehow moved faster than me.
“Any pain or numbness?”
“Hurts, yeah.” I tapped my left arm to my head, then my chest.
“You took a few hits in those places, yeah. Bruised up pretty good.” The medic nodded slowly, keeping her hands together out of politeness. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“I… I think…” I closed my eyes, trying to sort through the fog. I took a few seconds. “...I got jumped by some wild animal. I'm good, you know, but I'm not that good. Killing tigers is way easier than whatever I killed.”
The medic nodded, collecting her tablet again to write down some notes. “So, Sam, it looks like you sustained some lacerations and deeper cuts that needed stitches, so we went ahead and did that. I wouldn't recommend going back to work anytime soon, at least for a couple of days until you've healed up.”
“...Eh.” I rolled my head to the side. “...It was a shit job anyway.”
“You…” the doctor paused for a second.
I decided to clarify. “I'm a privateer, actually. I take whatever odd jobs people give me. Shit like treasure hunting and studying animals and stuff like that.”
“Oh, I see. So you mean this job is not…”
“Not worth it, no.” I rolled my eyes. “Didn't pay me nothing, and for what? Getting my eyes gouged out by a giant dinosaur? Hell no.”
The doctor laughed at that, and wrote down something else. “Understood. Well, I'm going to let you rest for a while. If you need anything, just press that button over there.”
She stood up, and gestured to the button. I glanced at it, then decided I wouldn't use it. Too tough for that.
The doctor walked off now, sliding the glass door over, and made sure to keep the curtains closed before leaving. I was alone with myself, again… 
…Running out of options.
Not like I was gonna be able to job search any time soon anyway.
---
“Miss Down?”
A new voice, deeper and masculine. I blinked awake from my nap… or perhaps it was already tomorrow. No windows in this place, so it was hard to tell without a clock.
I glanced around for the voice, and it came attached to this large-looking fellow, a familiar reptilian face. I was having a hard time placing his name, but judging by the dark green suit and luxurious tie, I figured he seemed important.
“Ah, I'm sorry to bother you…” he took a seat in the chair nearby. Tried keeping it casual. “...But I was just wondering if you would happen to be looking for work at some point soon.”
“N-now?” I sputtered, trying not to laugh. “Sir, respectfully, I just got my shit rocked.”
“I know! I know that.” He laughed a little, raising his hands. “I don't mean right this second. But when you've healed a bit, I mean.”
“Well…” I shrugged as best I could. “...I mean, I guess I'll need to look for work anyway… but it depends on the job.”
He laughed again, as if I had said something stupid. Even if I had, I was drugged up on dope and morphine. Can't exactly blame me.
“...My name is Re’lio D'varaas.” He took a second to properly introduce himself. “I’m one of the spokepeople of Viridian Corp.”
“Oh.” Now I understood. Dude was fishing for workers for his own company. I let out a sigh, and he caught that.
“I understand you may not be interested or, uh, you might be too out of sorts for a proper answer…” He shuffled around to find something in his pockets. “...But at the very least, I just wanted to chat about it. I'll give you my card…”
He finally found his card to contact, in a lustrous green with white writing on it. The card looked pretty cool, I had to admit that, at least. But I took offense to the fact that he was looking for workers in a goddamn hospital.
He must have sensed my annoyance. “...Miss Down—”
“Just Sam is fine.”
“Okay, Sam… they just happened to pull your record of jobs, and I happen to have access to those records. I came to you because your streak of finished jobs is near perfect, and the feedback you've gotten is astounding! I would just like to say, if you were interested, no interview would be required.” He gave a smile, with a lot of little pointy teeth. I always thought those were fun. “Just take some time to think about it, and if you want to join Viridian, just give me a call.”
“...Okay.” I brushed some of my hair around. Happened to bump into a sore spot. “...I'll let you know.”
“Fantastic. Get some rest now… and again, I'm sorry for the intrusion.” He stood up now, sorting all of his things, and gave me a little wave as he exited.
That was… really weird to me. I have never gotten a sudden job offer like that, especially at a hospital. But if he snooped around the way he did, and found my records, I suppose I would jump at the chance too.
I shone the card against the light of the room. A beautiful color, the edges tapered, and his name on the back. 
Part of me wondered… what it would be like to work with that doctor.
I rolled my eyes, quickly dismissing the thought. There was no way I would be assigned to work with her anyway. Unless maybe I asked.
Ain't no way in hell am I doing that.
I placed the card onto the table next to me, and tried to quiet my thoughts until I fell asleep again.
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summitclan-chronicles · 2 years ago
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Let's Take A Hike.
It's been over a full day since our pinned post was put up! I already have some followers and I welcome everyone - thank you for your interest already! Since we have a small audience I thought I would come in and say hello in a more relaxed way.
My name is Jingo (he/him)! I am the owner of SCC, as well as cat enthusiast, book consumer and local idea-haver. My favorite activity is Thinking Purposefully - mostly about my surroundings. The sky, the buildings, art pieces, textures, colors, smells, sounds, tones - taking in my environment in a planned methodical manner makes me feel immersed in it, like I'm giving every thing in my vicinity its deserved attention.
This habit is exactly how Summitclan was born.
In late summer of 2023, when the air is still thick but the wind blows cool, I started having a difficult time of things & my ever-patient and attentive partner decided to take me to a little lake to get me in the sun. We had a picnic, listened to music, danced, and the waves hush-hushed against the rocks. This day gave birth to a weekend tradition of hiking New York State's wilderness.
First it was just nature walks, then small forays into wooded foothills, with loops and connected webbings of trails. Then we set our sights on the Adirondack range, and the rolling peaks we always admired during the early morning drive to work, blue sentinels that - at the time of posting - are slowly being swallowed by encroaching wintry night-dawns.
I have been to, and fallen in love with, a little troop of peaks now: Buck Mountain is a dear friend, but I have also gotten to know Roostercomb and Shelving Rock. On all these ventures I found myself unable to stop Thinking Purposefully. I notice every fallen acorn, rustling leaf and broken stick; I eagerly observe how water falls down rocks, how leaves flutter to the ground, how downed trees entangle with each other, keeping each other alive. I discovered minute bugs, observant chipmunks, hidden slugs, old snail shells, coyote tracks, whitetail antler scrapes and old abandoned black bear dens.
As often happens, I became haunted by little cats.
If you've gone this far you probably have heard of Warrior Cats, and its magnetic pull toward certain people. In any natural setting they crawl into the backs of my eyes, and my hikes are no different, similarly influenced by tiny invasive animals with funny habits. But I am a writer, a poet, a dork; I like exploring ideas. I'll never solve a rubik's cube, but my brain might as well be one.
As I turned warrior-cats-in-the-adirondacks around and around, I started mucking up a silly fanclan I started calling AntlerClan after its fake mountain, Antlerhead Mountain. (This is still the name of the mountain in the full version, but the cats don't know that.) The cats in my head now form prehistoric generations of Summitclan: they showed me how they came together, how they showed they cared, and what they did for the cats in the future... but I was still seeing this from the angle of a fanfiction, and try as I might I could not escape the thick fog of "modern" characters. I could think of many ideas for the formations, the cultures, the stories, the values, but what about now?
It occured to me that it wasn't a story I could, or even would, write alone. This sort of project isn't really something to be discussed, but lived and experienced, I supposed: interpreted and used and tested against organic situations.
So, I retooled some things to make them compatible with roleplay instead. The little cats in my head were pleased with the changes. Now they told me all sorts of things and I knew this was a community I was building, not a story.
So here we are at the summit of our hike, and the birth of Summitclan. As my thoughts were cresting I happened to find my copy of Tailchaser's Song. After a spotty reread I got the idea to drop the capitalized "Clan." It feels appropriate in the books, when the Clanhood feels so intensely identifying and they feel so othered from neighboring groups. But Summitclan lives alone, and is intrinsically one with the rest of the surrounding population of cats. They cannot afford to feel othered or to turn their nose at things unfamiliar or strange, so isolated are they.
So, Summitclan it was. I had my moment in the sun, standing at the peak of my work: the building was done. Now came the hard work of going back down before dark.
September 9th, 2023 I made my very first draft of the roleplay version of my idea. On the 26th, I had my things properly organized and rewritten to my liking. I decided I would start advertising in November, and open in 2024.
So here we are. It is a Friday, November 3rd. We have reached the parking lot at the bottom of our hike, now. When you hike with someone you learn a lot about them: do they take the muddy path or the dry path? hard or easy? do they pause often to take in the view? I hope you've learned enough about me now to feel comfortable joining my community. I plan on going on a lot of hikes.
In the meantime, here are some photos of my adventures. Whatever comes up the trail ahead, I wish you the best, and I'm very glad I met you!
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burnwater13 · 1 year ago
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Din Djarin and Cobb Vanth riding speeder bikes through the canyons of Tatooine to locate the Krayt dragon terrorizing Mos Pelgo. Image from The Mandalorian, Season 2, Episode 1, The Marshal.
Grogu remembered that trip through the desert with the Mandalorian and the Marshal. He remembered getting blasted by sunshine, bombarded with the wind the bikes generated and pelted with sand, rocks and small bugs that got caught up in that wind. The only good part was that for the most part the bugs were tasty. 
As he trotted around their cabin on Nevarro, looking for his drawing supplies, he thought about that ride and what would have made it better. Air conditioning. Yup. That’s right. Although his coverall was pretty good at keeping him comfortable, when you have two stars shining on you all the time it’s pretty easy to get hot. That included the air, the sand, and the surfaces of almost anything. Like speeder bikes.
Nevarro was the same way. Not hot because of two suns. It only had the one, but hot because it had volcanos and lava flows and stuff like that. It was another place that could use air conditioning. Not the whole planet. There were a few places that were nice as they were, but other places, like the High Magistrate’s office were pretty miserable if the wind wasn’t blowing at all. 
Grogu wondered why they put up with it. The equipment must exist somewhere. He’d been on the Imp ships more that once and even the old Razor Crest had some sort of heat pump gizmo that kept the place warm and cold as necessary. Well, it had most of the time. Maldo Kreis was an exception. Uff, frozen spiders. Yuck.
Of course that would help make the High Magistrate’s office more comfortable, but what about their cabin or a speeder bike? Hmmm. How would you even do that? A speeder bike was very much an ‘experience the great outdoors’ kind of vehicle. Hot, cold, wind, rain, fog, you name the weather condition and a speeder bike had the same answer for them all: whatever. 
Grogu didn’t like that answer. Sure, sometimes he could drop down into whatever pouch, bag, carrier that the Mandalorian was using that day and avoid a good deal of the weather, but Din Djarin couldn’t. Or rather his armor couldn’t. Grogu didn’t have armor or at least not a full set. And Luke never gave him a Jedi cloak to wear. That made sense because Jedi lost them all the time. Grogu might have stayed on Ossus if Luke had offered him one of those instead of Master Yoda’s old lightsaber. A cloak provided protection against many perils. A lightsaber only against one.
But back to what he was thinking about; speeder bikes. Was there anyway to modify a speeder bike so it could be air conditioned? Maybe his dad would know. Grogu hated to admit most days, but Din Djarin had actually seen a lot of stuff and might know the answer.
“Air conditioning? I don’t think I understand what you’re talkin’ about.”
Grogu tried to explain in more detail but all that happened was the person he loved the most in the galaxy laughed out loud and found it hard to stop laughing. 
“Buddy, the whole point of a speeder bike is to feel the wind in your face. Or so I’m told. If you enclosed it so you could control the temperature it wouldn’t be a speeder bike. It would be a standard, enclosed, land speeder. You can’t fit one of those in the hold of the Razor Crest.”
Grogu was pretty sure if he had stomped off, annoyed with his dad’s laughter, Din Djarin would have taken his helmet off and wiped tears out of his eyes. Instead, Grogu reminded the tall bounty hunter that they no longer possessed a Razor Crest and you couldn’t put anything other than his hover pram in the N1. 
“I am well aware of that and your opinion on its lack of privy. But your pram is a good example of what enclosing a speeder bike might be like. Is that really what you want?”
Hmmm. That was a good question. Did he want an open air speeder bike, made to his size of course, or modifications to his pram? That was a tough one. He knew that a speeder bike, even scaled down for his use, would look really cool. It would also maneuver around obstacles effectively, use almost no power, and make him the envy of the Anzellans.  That was a pretty powerful incentive to just deal with the current design flaws of that vehicle type. 
Or, he could do something with his pram. First and foremost he’d stop calling it a pram. Prams were for babies. He wasn’t a baby. Maybe he’d call it a hover bubble. He liked how that sounded. Or a flying pod? A pod racer? Nope. Not a pod racer. He didn’t like the engine layout for those things. The couplings were too exposed and he needed something more compact.  Flight pod? Sure. His dad had a flight pack. Grogu could call it a flight pod. That sounded fast without the baggage.
Then, he would upgrade the seat to provide better support and visibility as well as some much needed adjustability. It needed a cup holder. Racing tripes. Maybe a weapons system? Definitely a sleep mode. But what else?
“Modifications to the pram? Maybe we should put a tinted canopy in? Then you can see where you’re going without getting the sun directly in your eyes? If we did that I could probably fit a little AC unit in it and keep you as cool or warm as you like.”
Yippee!
Sure his dad called it a ‘pram’ instead of a ‘flight pod’ but Grogu didn’t care about the name as much as he cared that he could operate with a closed canopy and still see where he was going. And, unlike a speeder bike, it would protect him from the sand. That stuff just got everywhere! He was surprised that his dad and the Marshal didn’t complain about that more. Some of the Jedi he knew never shut up about that. Uff.
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fogged--mirror · 3 months ago
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hastag gaming. fog fogged mirror rambling about a random ass smp he found on youtube one day (and NOT got obsessed actually, its not reach for the stars level dire and pathetic I miss it so badly...)
So its called The Helix or something? Yea. My main pov is a guy named galaxy luke, he's pretty neat. He is a weird little creature who likes a specific flower so much he stole all of it from the entire server. (He is so bug coded to me or like some sort of creature)
So then this guy accidentally stumbles headfirst into server lore while collecting all his flowers. And erm,, the lore in question is a giant red orb that has a heartbeat. And was buried under the flowers he likes the most???
So now he has a creature of his own! He wants to study it and figure out why it is here. It asks for rare things. It doesn't consume them or anything, it just WANTS them, he provides them and checks the results. And then it asked for a person. A whole living person! He drags them to it while explaining what it is on the way.
The other person, Benny is connected to it. He says something about the void and the "Conductor" who will destroy their entire world in like a month. That there was something before the void and the heart is connected to the cycle of world destruction.
So he totally is not getting dragged into something much bigger than he is and totally isn't going to be corrupted by eldrich horrors while being a mad scientist with a whole ass heart in his basement! (literally, he is building a shop on top of it as a front to keep it to himself. Bro is not getting out if it uncorrupted).
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x-critter2022 · 2 years ago
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Some Writing From Pixel Cats
Dear diary. I cannot understand this confounding fellow and I believe I may get a better idea by writing my encounters with them down.
Larkspur simply walked into town one day, a heavy satchel on their back, a bowtie around their neck and a smug smile on their face.
No one quite knew what to say, when they strutted in and asked how much it would cost to hire a builder. Well, Brook knew to agree with the number of notes offered.
At least that's what my neighbours tell me. I'd migrated through the portal the day after, and my appearence was overlooked compared to the charming stranger.
It was unusual for city folk to join villages in those days, and Larkspur was the first to do so in Sprucefort. The wave of migration to villages had only just begun, and It took Sprucefort a while to realise where Larkspur had even come from, not that they were helpful in that process. They had told Sunbeam's adventurous little ones that they were sentient moss in the shape of a cat at one point. I doubt they meant to cause the following moss shortage which resulted from that mess but I must get back to the point.
Then the next question everyone was asking was why Larkspur had come, and come to Sprucefort of all places. I tried asking once myself, but they simply told me about the theories they'd heard a youth and their friend arguing about under the shadow of trees while they themselves listened.
'Was it the Great Pine, the titan of a tree this village was founded around interest the former Gardenhome resident? Or did the proximity of Sprucefort to the Tigerlily Meadows interest this new plant-loving apothecary?'
They speak so weirdly yet they're oddly charismatic.
Speaking of Larkspur's new job, they've settled in rather well into a white and black stone house with shiny wood floors between the Great Pine's roots where they operate out of. It's almost like a library as well, so many strange and interesting books strewn across tables or organised perfectly in shelves.
I've been teaching one of Brook's children crafting, Morning, and it seems that it's a large not of gossip amongst the youths. They seem to believe that the magic within the tree that takes their fancy, especially since they built their garden and house around it.
Speaking of the garden they gather herbs from, it's growing around and even on the walls of their home. All the plants seem to always be at full bloom through Spring and Summer, with Winter plants already growing by mid-Autumn. I have to wonder what the garden will look like in the upcoming Winter.
I got invited to walk through it once with them, I've never seen any of these plants around the village or back on Earth before, I have to wonder if they're Gardenhome specimens in particular.
Larkspur themselves never went into detail of how they acquired such interesting specimens, but they were pouring out their words about how they cared for the plants and kept them safe from rodents and bugs about. It was honestly lovely to hear them speak so earnestly with no riddle of sorts behind it.
They even gave me a lovely blue flower to take home from their garden! I keep forgetting to water it, but the flower seems rather hardy regardless. I've been making sure it has plenty of light at least.
Although, a lot of people are more in favour talking about the glowing green eyes of Larkspur and the occasional similarly coloured fog that follows them instead of their talent in botany. Occasionally when the sun shines just right you can see sparkles in that odd mist, like a glistening, ornate chandelier.
I must admit it's rather beautiful, but how else could I describe it?
Larkspur themselves has seemingly been taking an interest in me, for whatever reason. They invited me to come to the library with them, although I spent most of the time trying to organise the books properly. The Sprucefort library is really in a state of disarray, but I can't be surprised with only Sarai's boy taking care of the place.
Larkspur even tried to convince me of sorting the books by colour at one point! I had to argue how nonsensical it was, especially since the same book gets binded in different colours. Eventually I did win though, but it was hollow as I suspect from the bursts of laughter that Larkspur simply wanted to have an argument.
Although that's my latest interaction with them, and brings me little closer to understanding.
What a peculiar neighbour I have. I am no closer to understanding them then I was before I wrote this letter. I enjoy their company but I must wonder what their intentions are.
Goodbye, diary.
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blueberry-ink-93 · 5 days ago
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i didnt really realise i was strolling aimlessly in a fog till a faint jazzy tune (metaphorically) materialised out of nowhere and brought me out of a different kind of fog.
doctors just couldnt reach a conclusion about what was wrong with me. which was probably due to the fact that id never been to any, but regardless, there was something not quite right about me.
i was never really all the way there? some part of me was off doing her own thing. it was fun when i was still a carefree and adventurous child, but now waking up from reveries is an isolating experience that leaves me feeling horribly exposed.
but i did love jazz, so naturally i followed the glorious instruments of gleaming gold till i found myself upon the strangest quaintest scene i had the pleasure of beholding;
several be-clothed and be-doilied tables had been lined together, all slightly different in shape and size, like the opposing chairs at both ends, in a very unkept garden of sorts. i had to wade through the grass till i reached a respectable distance from the very end of the table. no radio in sight however. which was quite odd. odder than the rabbit and rodent throwing sugar cubes at each other.
at the very head of the table, some 5 postboxes (horizontal of course) away from where i stood something in a fancy high back chair moved. or rather a someone. everything stilled, and though i couldnt see it it felt like several pairs of eyes were on me now. even from behind.
my throat dried instantly and i felt very stupid. who emerges from a fog cross armed and hunched into themselves probably looking like they were raised from the dead? (i wouldnt know, mirrors didnt grow on trees after all. clocks did though). i looked down at myself to see what i was wearing, unsure of how i didnt think to do so earlier.
i looked down to see a pair of baggy flared jeans, my very favouritest ones that had an embroidered creeping vine and two little honeybees (the sweetest little bugs, pun absolutely intended), and a checkered sage green dress (pinafore?) that reached just above my knees, the sleeves just below my elbows. not bad for a fever dream.
looking back up again at my audience, a cracked "hello?" was all i could manage. a small silence later the rabbit (wearing a waistcoat a lovely shade of deep blue and an amber bow tie) yelped a very clear "no". i blinked once. and then twice.
'fair enough', i grimaced. just as i was about to turn on my heels and wander off back into the fog, a heavy chair scraped on what sounded to me like stone as someone got up. i blinked again (the fog was drying out my eyes) and wondered if what i was seeing was quite real.
whoever was seated at the head of the table was now speedwalking (on the table) towards me, knocking over several fragile looking things and making sharp clinky noises that sounded like a poorly thought out wind chime. i could only frown and wrap my arms tighter around myself in anticiaption.
my feet were firmly rooted in the ground and the rest of me frozen, like an oddly shaped icicle i mused to myself, which was something i did a lot. both were actually. i froze a lot and i mused to myself even more.
anyway the head of the table with a hat about the size of a standard 3 tiered wedding cake (mama baked a lot of them when i was younger) had reached the very end of the table and leaned forward i was very sure theyd fall on their face.
bright lively eyes that didnt match the bleakness of wherever it was we were positively lit up when i came into view, a sort of recognition or confirmation passed over them, i couldnt tell which. regardless, a slightly crazed grin (with a very becoming tooth gap) followed and it suddenly became excruciatingly hard to not want to smile at the invisible joke too. except i wasnt invisible really i was right there. all i was able to do was narrow my eyes and lower my head slightly without breaking eye contact.
"youre terribly late you know". eyes twinkling at yet another invisible joke, nose scrunched, and bandaged thimble-y hand outstretched. i still couldnt throw off the feeling of familiarity. friendship? my face was beginning to betray me and i felt a smile tug harder at the corner of my mouth. oh dear.
i let out a sigh of defeat as i was being pulled up to the table (with staggering ease might i add). i was never quick on my feet. which reminded me.
"delightful pair of socks". another impossibly large grin that made something in my heart ache this time. oh no.
"why thank you. theyre the queens". this time i let myself snicker as we ran back hand in hand to the very top of the table and broke more porcelain than i was probably worth, which only made me laugh harder.
it was good to be back.
I WRITED A THING!!
and on a whim too! does anyone want to read? ofc u do lmao
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mbabol · 2 years ago
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HOWWOW KNIGHT 3?
ok. ao. ive unlocked most of the map now. and i think im getting into endgame territory. based on the storyline and the op items im getting now.
uh. so i killed that first dreamer. so im just going to stick to the path and keep killing dreamers even though its making me really sad :( i just got to the top of watchers spire and. this one rlly hurt. at least spiders were scary. watchers is in the top of my fav city and theres a little telescope where u can see where she looked thru. and then you see her lying peacefully on the bed which is what freaked me out last time too. and to make matters worse they stuck one of the little scared guys up there to make you really feel like a monster bc its a reminder that some of them dont even want to fight you why are you fighting them? i think i was always destined to be the villain of this story
AND ON THAT NOTE. CONFIRMATION ON ALL THE LITTLE HINTS ABT HOW YOURE NOT EXACTLY THE GOOD GUY HERE. OR AT LEAST YOURE CAUSING A LOT OF PAIN IN THE MEANTIME. UH. DREAM NAIL. SO I GOT A CHARM THAT CHARGES DREAM NAIL FASTER. im like huh. what the hell is that for. all the things i use the dreamnail on are stationary? but im like oh of course! i need it to charge faster if i can use it on normal mobs. so i excitedly equip the charm to go see what cool tech this dream nail does on mobs.
the tech is psychological horror. i can now read everyones thoughts. hooray. so far ive had two results for mobs: 1) horrible pain 2) horrified confusion and immobility. cause. turns out. the coreopsis point. was actually. going to get answered. theyre. the orange eyes and aggressiveness is partially Planned. theyre all asleep. the sleep wasnt just the dreamers. its all the citizens of hollownest. to contain the infection they wove some sort of spell that put all infected in a pseudo slumber that repels anyone from trying to come in. theyre unwitting defenders of outsiders who may venture too deep and unknowingly spread the disease. either intentionally or by accident, theyre the perfect defense. agonized and aggressive because of it they lash out to anyone and keep curious wanderers away.
this was at least part of the sacrifice. i havent dream nailed everyone yet but i know thwts part of it. my next step is to dream nail the unnerving beast in the dusty underground area. the area with the pale king. who is the pale king? i donated at least. there were inscriptions that described a sacrifice. what sacrifice? there were corpses everywhere of bugs wearing robes id never seen before. what did they do? who is the white knight corpse that i cant stir with the dream nail? whats behind the door? they were instrumental to containing the plague. what did they do?
ALSO I BEGAN TO SUSPECT THE ORANGE DUST WASNT JUST INFECTION RUNNING WILD BC THE FIGHT I GOT STUCK ON IN THE SPIRE WAS SUSPICIOUS. THE ROLLY DEFENDERS? THEY WERE BEING SPECIFICALLY REANIMATED BY THE CLOUD OF ORANGE DUST ABOVE TO DEFEND THE DREAMER. THAT WAS SUSPICIOUS. THEY WERE BEING CONTROLLED, POSSESSED. THATS NOT JUST ILLNESS. THATS CONSCIOUSNESS AT PLAY
im feeling so guilty discovering the dream nail :((( even the littlest mobs have thoughts like "hungry....scared.....dark safe..." AND IT MAKES ME SAAAAAAAAD IM SORRYYYYYYY
ALL THE GHOSTIES WHO TRIED TO TELL ME FIGHTING AND GLORY ISNT WORTH IT WERE RIGHTTTTT
oh yeah i unlocked the spirit tomb or whatever a while ago. dope. theres just a bunch of random characters who tell u cool stuff abt themselves and someeeeee world building. dope
im also so op its so funny how i can still die. ive had to upgrade nail twice and i have a zillion masks. im also on the hunt to collect all the charms. i believe. i can do it
UH ALSO WHAT ARE THE SEALS FOR...? am i just supposed to sell these?? i thought i could use them for something eventually
er also idk where im supposed to get the skill i need to get into fog cavern. is it in the sewers ? i cant find it
UGH DREAM NAILING EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE SO SAD. RHE LITTLE MOSS GUYS IN GREENPATH WERE FUCKING DEFENDING THE PATH OF UNN. IM LOSING IT. IM THE BAD GUY
OH MY GOD ALSO I ACCIDENTALLY KILLED TWO GHOSTIES I THOUGHT I COHLD TALK TO THEM MORE WITH DREAM NAIL BUT THEY JUST TURNED INTO FUCKING ESSENCE???????
I FELT SOOOO BAAAAAAD I WANTED TO QUIT THE GAMEEEEE MY LITTLE GRAVEYARD BUDDY IM SO SORRY I DIDNT KNOW
ive unlocked some crazy zones also. why the hell was there a zone where i came from beginning of the game. howling wilds was it? howling cliffs? whatever. hey also im suspicious of all the unmapped areas that are high up. am i gonna get a skill to fucking fly straight up. why is the entirety of above dirttown unmapped. whats going on up there.
also i know theres something thats gonna explain what shades are but i wont lie thats not even on my radar rn im not gonna be able to guess it on my own theyre keeping it pretty well under wraps. i know im strange and i know im not the only one. the dreamers that first time kept talking abt how i "returned" and what i "wanted". so. yeah.
also my shade soul is literally an entry in the beastiary. so.
I FORGOR I UNLOCKED NEW MOVES. I NEVER REMEMBER TO USE THEM
i have fucking spin attack. i havent tried it once
uh also i made it to the roof of the world...? there was a pale ore there. snagged rhat
ive got some predictions abt whats gonna happen next. not wven predictions just potential guesses. 1) theres branching endings and im on badroute bc i killed dreamers OH YEAH WHY DID I SUCK THEM UP TOO? EW? WHY DID I EAT THEM. this is a sad ending ill just be sad and rhen immediately boot up for the good ending 2) im not yet on bad ending its not Great that i killed dreamers but it was all a fakeout to say sike ! u needed to break the stasis rhe kingdom was in bc this wasnt a sustainable solution. so the real decision comes later <- WISHFUL THINKING 3) this is the bad ending but also is there gonna be a twist where ghost and the soul are at odds ? no way right. thats too easy. maybe it is tho. hwy am i still gonna try to recapture the infection in myself that sucks 4) who the hell is the final boss. like i know ill fight the vessel but am i gonna have to fight my soul? the king? rhe queen? like what is up with that.
the random tidbits im learning abt npcs with dreamnail are ruining me. did u know map lady used to be a nail warrior like me. i do now. whimper. and shop fly has three kids. whimper
#HK
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