#had flashbacks and all

[strayjester]

Guys, the case in TMAGP ep. 19 is so good

[egophiliac]

queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎

I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The dog days are over.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[starssoblue]

“things were so hard with dad in recent years...how did he go from paparapluie to père? i wish i could face him and understand, but while he was still here i didn't dare try to tell him [any of my feelings] and now...it's too late.” * paparapluie is a pun on the words papa and parapluie (umbrella) since the plush is a frog. père is the french word for 'father.'

[lazyrunawayphilosopher]

This total shoujo moment of Ao Bing falling in love with Ne Zha the second time and right after having the disney equivalent conversation of "follow your dreams" with his dad shortly after which he went to go and stay with Ne Zha. It's going to live in my mind rent free.

These two got me giggling and kicking my feet.

[turtleblogatlast]

I adore the idea of Leo developing a love for glam rock not only because he likes the music but also because of how many glam rock bands had vibrant and extravagant eye makeup - looks that his own red stripes were right at home with.

Like just imagine a little Leo rifling through his dad’s music and choosing to vibe with glam rock specifically because he was like “:0! Like me!:)”

[i-aint-nothin-but-a-nasty-dog]

I DESERVE COMPENSATION FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGES FROM HAVING TO SEE THIS FACIAL EXPRESSION AGAIN

[shiiro-arts]

"Dragon Cry the Fairy Tail film", sorry, you misspelled "the ultimate nalu fanfic"

[prahacat]

when the horrors catch up and you take an evening off to batch-process

[fieldofheathers-stuff]

Sketchdump!

Haven't had the time to draw anything serious lately, so enjoy this very lazy age progression study, Silco being a nerd (and drunk gay panicking), and Vander being very hound-y. Bonus Felicia being done with their bullshit.

[aurorangen]

Guilt consumed Vincent whenever he lied to Renee. Vincent thought it was risky to let her know about investigating the secret basement with Isaac. She'd want to help and that meant gathering unwanted attention from the police and the media. When they arrived, Vincent sat there in his car, shoulders slumped. He tried to think. He strained to think. But seeing his childhood home only triggered traumatic events from his past, obscuring all his plans for the day.

"Isaac…I don't think I'm ready today," he said, hiding the tremor in his voice. "It's okay, we can take our time to solve it," Isaac had his own nerves seeing Vincent's childhood home; they were facing the unknown after all. "I'm ready whenever you are."

[shimada-death]

Ed not only being Non-binary but also transitioning along the story is really cool and something i have barely seen in other media (esp fem presenting nb) but i think deep down their current stance is just a culmination of their wish to being "someone else" while also being unable to

They were "adopted" by the Guerras yet after the divorce Angel never cared for them, he only has Isabel's custody and doesn't seem to be bothered for this. Francisco calls them a freeloader and they never call any of them "family" even if they legally are

Yet they're still asked to fill the "older brother" role for Isabel

This has led to Ed seeing Isabel has their only link to their family, even if they hadn't realized it yet. With that in mind their mental breakdown in chapter 5 changes a lot. It's not about "losing a friend", deep down it's about not filling the only role they've been asked to.

When they aren't asked to be"the older brother" then they're "the Burger's son", a living memento and reminder of their parent's disappearence

Bruce and Gwen don't really mean anything to Ed since they were too little to remember them, but they're asked to be on a constant mourning, Spender remembers all of the club members yet the only thing he can share about Ed is that they're the Doctor's child and what it means to his relationship with the doctors

This roles are no problem for them, they like to fill the mold that people assign to them after all

But they have become a core part of their identity. And when Ed starts questioning their gender identity they start to question why they can't fill those roles too.

And the wish has come true! they're someone else! they're smart and cute and aren't lacking anything in particular! They've broken the mold!

But that "someone else" is still the kid who wishes to fill the "Isabel's sibling" and "Burger's child" because Ed has entangled those concepts so tight to their identity and self that they can't imagine a version of themself without them.

Ed's identity as a whole has been what others have built for them and they have just accepted to be the reflection of that, realizing they're non-binary and be open about that (even with a big push from the wish) has been the first step to unbuild all of it, but they still need a lot of reconstruction to do which i think they're currently not smart enough to see.

[skywerse]

[mazzystar24]

Just gonna leave this here🫶 (I’m not liable for emotional damage)

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

The improvement in alhaitham and kaveh’s relationship post-parade of providence is TANGIBLE!!! I’ll talk about things of note from cyno's story quest 2 before posting my deep diving into what this all means for them <3

Firstly, kaveh’s appearance in the tavern being to pick up his order of wine, only to show his parting from the traveller, to ask lambad whether his order includes ‘the coffee beans’ – which is a direct reference to his 2023 bday letter in which he and alhaitham test coffee beans together for his birthday, and now, canonically, this can be observed as a common practice for the two of them – this is symbolic of domesticity, as the two only do this outside of the player’s sight, confined to the privacy of their home.

Alhaitham’s introduction within this quest is waking the traveller up (to which they ignore haikaveh and honestly, valid) due to their discovery of the temple of silence – and I think this is a little self-indulgent on my part, but I think it’s Interesting that tighnari mentions that the tent paimon picks is prone to being stumbled into by ‘sleepwalking fungi’, which prompts cyno to encourage the traveller to safeguard their tent with a weapon. Paimon comments on the improbability they will be attacked or woken up by uninvited guests, and lo and behold, haikaveh turn up – implying they are the sleepwalking fungi? it’s reminiscent of alhaitham’s story quest where alhaitham questions if kaveh would devolve into a fungus, to which kaveh replies he would be a fungus with empathy… if this is at all deliberate, it’s a really cute parallel!!

The completely unnecessary flashback scene in haikaveh’s house, it’s purely there to showcase the development of their relationship - there was no need to animate something that could have been exposition?

(The scene is established with alhaitham reading a book with kaveh offscreen preparing snacks and wine for the two of them, and when kaveh enters, alhaitham puts the book down and directly engages with kaveh’s conversation with a CRIMINAL smile on his face. Kaveh continues the conversation whilst sitting on the table, which shows his comfort and familiarity within the house? With alhaitham? This is also heightened when he leans back on the table during the conversation. Alhaitham is shown thinking about the case and kaveh offers to draw the emblem on the paper of the extortion letter – when kaveh turns his back to do so, their conversation is halted, and only then does alhaitham bring out the book again, but there is a deliberate still on his face as he looks UP from his book to look at kaveh sketching? There was no need for this.!!.>!!!

When kaveh returns to show alhaitham the sketch, the book is gone again, and the previous distance between them is closed – kaveh sits on the table in front of alhaitham, and this creates an intimacy as the two directly face each other. this couldn’t have been established solely by sitting next to each other on the divan. Alhaitham smiles at the sketch and notes that he recognises it, to which kaveh smiles(!!!) at and questions this. Alhaitham recognises the ARCHITECTURAL signets within the symbol, which not only relates back to their joint thesis but also their character concepts as mirrors, as alhaitham appropriates kaveh’s architecture, and kaveh has appropriated alhaitham’s language – which suggests a balance between the two.)

Alhaitham and kaveh working together to identify the emblem to be that of the temple of silence acts as the catalyst for the chain of events within the story quest

Kaveh quipping at alhaitham keeping the salary of the acting grand sage – but with no animosity behind it!??? his last expression during this dialogue honestly looks exasperated but in a fond way…. Im ill….

Alhaitham and kaveh looking at each other when discussing how the case doesn’t make sense… just alhaitham and kaveh looking at each other and deliberating over the other’s thoughts… finally… listening to each other and working together…

The additional (HIDDEN) scene in the house of daena where they begin researching, with alhaitham commenting that he will look for texts pertaining to the temple of silence, to which kaveh says it will take too long, and then agreeing to help alhaitham, without alhaitham having to ask, which demonstrates their improved synergy. Kaveh asks alhaitham how to teach him in gaining information on the sly, to which alhaitham DOES but teases him about it at the same time, but so fondly... I would say this scene mirrors the additional scene in the archon quest, with kaveh talking to alhaitham by the bookshelves and accusing him of stirring trouble in sumeru, while alhaitham appears bitter that kaveh was in the desert during the overturning of the sages. There is a distinct shift in their relationship here – in the past, the two missed an opportunity to work together, whereas here they are voluntarily banding together (which ive discussed here)

COFFEE MENTION 2! Alhaitham mentions how he wants to drink coffee, to which kaveh laments that he wasn’t able to bring any from home. When using nahida’s skill on them, alhaitham can be seen thinking about wanting coffee,,, and then kaveh is thinking about how to get to coffee to them by using mehrak. Even their thoughts are working in tandem??? This contrasts with their individual thoughts in alhaitham’s story quest, where kaveh is thinking about how alhaitham was being vindictive towards kaveh drunkenly writing on the bulletin boards, and labelling alhaitham as having ‘terrible thoughts’, all the while alhaitham is thinking about how dusty the bookshelves are… the progress is STARTLING

When the group reconvene in the house of daena, alhaitham and kaveh have progressed their research on their own accord and based on what naphis has told them. When explaining, the two complete each other’s sentences, and this rounds off with alhaitham conjecturing that the goal of the assailant was to get cyrus to see the letter, which makes kaveh realise cyno’s motivations, and for alhaitham then to ascertain cyrus’s whereabouts. Naphis then assigns alhaitham and kaveh to be in charge of the house of daena, to which they both agree, and alhaitham… smiles? With so much pride? WE GET IT YOU’RE WORKING TOGETHER!!!! SHUT!!!

Cyno and tighnari mention TWICE how essential it is that kaveh and alhaitham worked together, with mentioning how imperative it was that kaveh spotted the emblem and that alhaitham connected it to the temple of silence, and then how alhaitham gave tighnari advice on desert cultural traditions, which aligned with kaveh’s experiences with desert tribes, which gives tighnari the idea to turn the tables on the temple of silence

Returning to the house of daena, cyno highlights that it is STRANGE that kaveh and alhaitham are working together, in that he is surprised to see them studying together? This draws further attention to the unlikeliness of the situation, and that this MEANS something in regard to their relationship!

Kaveh stressing about having to pack away their copious research materials, only for alhaitham to reassure him that there’s ‘no rush’… so gentle

Cyno and tighnari thanking alhaitham and kaveh for WORKING TOGETHER as it allowed them to find a swift and good outcome

COFFEE MENTION 3! Cyno offering to take everyone for coffee, which alhaitham agrees to, and kaveh agreeing to, although he says that because of the last few days, he’ll order something different (confirming that alhaitham has the caffeine tolerance of a tank and kaveh gets caffeine jitters thank u @ hoyo). On the table the two were studying, two trays of a pair of coffee cups and coffee brewers can be seen… the same that can be seen in their house??? Meaning they brought their domesticity to the library with them… and they also sat across from each other, which reminds me of how kaveh sat in front of alhaitham in their house, rather than next to him…

Kaveh and alhaitham sitting next to each other in the café <333

KAVEH CALLING THE HOUSE ‘HOME’ TO ALHAITHAM??? IN FRONT OF THEIR FRIENDS?? This is a big contrast to kaveh in a parade of providence and alhaitham’s story quest who hated to having admit such a thing. And then alhaitham AGREEING that the house is ‘HOME’, and again their thoughts align with ‘my thoughts exactly’. Alhaitham and kaveh leaving together, to the house of daena (where they met, where it ended, and where they have been shown to bond together in this quest) and then back to their shared ‘home’... oh......

from this, kaveh no longer seems defensive or reserved in front of alhaitham, and makes no notion of criticising alhaitham, offering to help alhaitham into researching, and even asking alhaitham to teach him something he deems as a useful skill which he lacks. he openly takes onboard alhaitham's views on the case and responds in kind in order to come to a resolution. he actively makes time in his day to spend with alhaitham, seen in them enjoying snacks/wine/coffee together and talking about his day. he describes the house they share as a 'home', which, for kaveh, is imperative to his character due to his loss of family (which ive posted about here)

alhaitham, similarly, is less critical of kaveh, and this is because a seemingly resolved miscommunication between them. he is receptive to, and encourages, kaveh to communicate with him when it comes to things that kaveh believes to be noteworthy, actively focussing solely on kaveh, rather than his book, when kaveh initiates conversation. he equally seems to enjoy this time spent with kaveh, as he is seen nowhere else but by kaveh's side during this story quest, wanting (kaveh's) coffee within the library which would establish a familiar and domestic setting elsewhere outside of their home. when leaving his group of friends at puspa's, saying that it's him 'done for the day', he retreats with kaveh, back to their shared 'home'

overall, alhaitham and kaveh's relationship has improved VASTLY since their first interaction in the archon quest. there seems to be an understanding between them now and this results in comfort and familiarity where they used to be miscommunication and snipes, and there appears to be a balancing of their viewpoints as they appreciate in the other what was once viewed as mirror opposites never to align, being that of language and architecture. a sense of harmony(?) balance(?) has been established here, and this is shown to be the ideal course of their reconciliation. im so weak......

[secriden]

Watching Joong's Hurt Me Please MV with the context of how episode 6 ended and how this is likely a song about Fadel's thoughts and feelings about Style after Finding Out, I wanted to take a deeper look at the lyrics.

I have transcribed the English lyrics on Youtube side by side with a fan translated version (credit: bl_zonee on Twitter) just because there's different shades of meaning between them that I find really interesting and I'm curious which one is the more accurate translation or if both are valid, but just give different nuance. (Perhaps a mutual who understands Thai would be willing to give some insight? *u*)

Verse 1 makes a lot of sense to me: Fadel must be wondering how Style could be so cruel ("unkind" / "heartless") because every instance of Style being honest and asking for honesty in return, all of Style's genuine desperation to bare his heart to Fadel in episode 5 and 6, now looks like a calculated, cruel deception.

And after being so afraid to reveal his secret to Style for fear that it would make Style walk away from him, there's a painful irony in Fadel now wishing Style had walked away before. Because the betrayal hurts so much more now that Fadel has given in to his heart.

The chorus is where the nuance between the translations gets interesting.

The Youtube version seems almost like Fadel is taunting Style, putting up a front that he can take the pain Style is dishing out and more. It's like he's hiding behind the bravado of being able to handle the hurt, and even more.

The MV also depicts Style smiling sadistically after slapping Fadel, as if he's enjoying the pain he's inflicting. Meanwhile, Fadel looks up almost in adoration, a strange softness in his eyes at odds with how cruelly he's being treated. The knowledge of Style's betrayal has turned Style into a monster in Fadel's mind, one which he cannot help but to still have soft, affectionate feelings.

But the fan translation sounds much more hurt and accusatory. Fadel is expressing his pain and anguish much more plainly and "you did this to me" is a line that demands responsibility.

In both translations, though, the last line ("can't get enough" / "enjoying the pain") gives us a hint that Fadel isn't willing to give Style up even now. Despite the pain, despite feeling as if he's simultaneously burning up and drowning, there's a part of him that still wants this. That still wants Style.

Interestingly, as Fadel sings the last line he begins to visibly struggle against the rope tying him to the chair. The soft look vanishes and in place is a determination and shadow that spells trouble for Style. The shock is wearing off and Fadel is starting to fight back.

Verse 2 is where the agony really hits, for me.

In both versions, Fadel recognises the way Style's love was (maybe still is?) precious to him ("your love feeds my soul" / "your love nourished my heart"). But because Style's love is a lie, it's transformed into a weapon ("poison"). It twists Style's love into a source of "hurt" to Fadel.

Which is why I think both versions have a line where Fadel admits that there's a part of him that wants Style to keep hurting him -- or rather, to keep loving him; because these are the same thing to Fadel now -- ("hurt me, make me feel used" / "the more I was hurt the more I enjoyed it") whilst also remaining accusatory ("the more I loved, the more sorrow/I suffered").

The lines about "nothing left to write about our love" / "our story" also feel very pointed and final. A closing of a chapter; a closing of the possibility of their former, uncomplicated happily ever after. Style has nothing left to write (report) back to his superiors (the police) because Fadel's love is already complete and his deception has reached the inevitable conclusion of Fadel being found out/destroyed.

All this happens while we see Style continuing to threaten Fadel with a golf club and an almost crazed expression of glee juxtaposed with flashes of Fadel and Style in much happier times.

Also the fact that this line comes with this scene where Fadel lets Style kiss him despite “knowing” it’s all a lie *sobs uncontrollably*:

The first chorus comes back once and the music reaches a plateau. We are clearly preparing for a drop or a modulation and we get exactly that (twice!) with the second chorus:

Here, both versions converge: Fadel is angry, he's furious. Style hurt him and he's going to repay all of it and more ("you'll hurt [by much more]" / "you must suffer more than I did"). The lyrics tell us that, while Fadel cannot take back the hurt (take back his love), he can certainly ensure he isn't alone in the suffering (this love will also hurt Style).

It is at this part where my heart sank as I realised that Fadel's "I think I love you" line in episode 6 now takes on a much more sinister tone.

Because I think that discovering Style's betrayal was also what made Fadel realise the truth of his love for Style; the very agony he was in was the sign that Fadel's heart was lost to him. But even as it is true, I also think he still made the choice to ruin Style in the same breath. Because if Style could use Fadel’s love as a weapon then Fadel is going to use it (Fadel’s love) to hurt Style too.

A decision was made in this moment, and everything Fadel does afterwards in this scene is deliberate.

There is, however, one piece of hope:

Despite Fadel's expressed fury, what the MV shows us is Fadel breaking out of his bonds, shoving Style back and punching him once and then:

For all his anger, for all his rage, for all his threats of manifold vengeance, what we see is Fadel pressing close and kissing Style; once on the lips, and once on his chest (heart), all while the lyrics makes space for one last plea:

("don't betray me")

For me, its the way the line is shown together with this direct visual parallel between the ignorant Fadel in the past (left) and the Fadel of the present who has seen through Style's deception (right) that I find particularly compelling. Even now, even at the point of Fadel discovering Style's betrayal, there is still hope for forgiveness.

Because Fadel cannot help himself. Because Style made Fadel's bleeding heart whole again; and it beats, it feels, and despite how much it hurts, what Fadel still wants more than anything else in the world -- desperately and simply -- is Style.