#hard to know which half of it is which
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Thinking about the concept of self-teratomancy again. On the one hand, the agency of self-modification. On the other, the inherent implications of that being labeled teratomancy instead of Shapeling Arts: that there are hidden histories to be unlocked, that you as a creature are fragmented or ill-suited to your purpose, that to break and make yourself anew might be required. The cruelty and mercy of the knife instead of a slow and warping moulding. The fact that to change yourself requires first to know it, on a level deep and stark enough to leave the salt of your ancestors' blood on your tongue.
#peligin speaks#fallen london#teratomancy#I always think of teratomancy as it's written as a kind of two-branched thing#there's delving into something otherwise unknowable in order to learn why it is the way it is and what made it that way#and there's the changing something to be more at ease with itself or to suit its purpose better#both of those have such Implications when it comes to the self#first the idea that you are so unknowable to yourself from the ''outside'' that you need to dig into your flesh and bones to find answers#and alternatively or simultaneously#the idea that something about you sits so ill at ease that you need to set it like a dislocated bone#the intimacy of it#the ordeal of first needing to know and learn the problem in full in order to fix it like that#to acknowledge it#there's a reason Hallowrove has a recurring nightmare involving self-teratomancy#it's one of those ones that's hard to label as a nightmare or a dream#hard to know which half of it is which
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(You don’t know how much longer you can do this.)
hi the wip for this was absolutely not supposed to blow up. why does that have 1k notes. horrifying. anyways!!!! it’s update time baby!!!! 64 new assets this time around!
so that’s what the caption was supposed to be. this update was already pretty damn big and took a ton of time to make!!! and i was finally done!! but then my hand slipped and now we’re at 143 new assets. super sorry for the delay! That Was Not Supposed To Happen.
i’ll go more indepth below the cut, but this update encompasses all menu/profile art for both isat and sasasaap, battle portraits for sasasaap, every single pixel icon in isat (to my knowledge anyways), the dialogue skipping animations, and a few miscellaneous additions.
also i spent too much time on these to put them below the cut so Please God Look At My Icon Resprites I Spent 16 Hours On Them. enjoy!
okay first things first. why the hell is this batch 143 assets. so. i HEAVILY underestimated how many times the menu drawings are used in the games. even removing all of the custom art, it’s still ≈30-40 variations! that’s a lot! and once i finally finished everything, i got Posting Anxiety and somehow convinced myself that attempting Animation And Pixel Art (two things i haven’t done in YEARS) would be easier than writing a normal post. so here we are.
the custom art here is pretty much par for the course at this point. extra menu art for bonnie, extra expressions for the party in act 5, we’ve done this enough times that it’s expected. i am aware that bonnie’s custom menu art gets completely covered by the ui. i kept it in because it’s really funny (and also i didn’t feel like extending the sprite (but then the sasasaap version forced me to extend the sprite anyways so Whartever)).
once again, provided a spritesheet for sasasaap’s battle portraits! i do intend to cover both games, it’s just a slightly lower priority atm. unlike isat though, i’ve got Less (read “No”) experience with sasasaap, so there might be more issues with those assets?? apologies if there are, i’ll try to fix any issues that come up!
the Miscellaneous Additions i mentioned above are the sprites used on the teleport map and the loading screen, which is just a tiny version of the skipping animation. they were pretty small, so i figured i might as well get them out of the way!
not actually much to say about the 75 icons surprisingly! i haven’t done pixel art in about 5 years?? and that’s a Travesty actually these were super fun to make. i did make mockups for the overworld sprites earlier, but they aren’t Officially part of the redraws (yet) so they’re getting posted seperately
and also!! some exciting news!! this project might actually become a Proper Published Mod pretty soon!! i’ve been in contact with someone who’s willing to help me get everything set up, and i’ll be getting a Usable Computer around the end of the year!!!! it’ll still be at least a month before it’s up (i’d like to get the enemy art finished beforehand wauaua) but!!! still exciting!
okay, i think that’s everything relevant to the update!! i Definitely can’t fit all of the relevant assets here lol. but i’ll try my best ! please enjoy !!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat redraw project#<- new tag! which is probably going to change in the future when i settle on an actual name.#apologies if this is hard to follow? writing this update in the middle of the night…#anyways! oh my GOD those gifs were HELL to make#the framerate for the act 2 version is. Nebulous?#procreate will not tell me. i had to fix the framerate with a gif maker site#also for the record. all of the art here was made on procreate#which seems to horrify people when i tell them#for the less recent stuff. did you know that the profile art has a different size than the menu versions?#and that they’re Zoomed In Slightly? because i fucking didn’t! i spent 2 and a half hours cleaning up the profiles.#other than Those. actually had a blast working on these. especially the pixel art wauaa#lets hope i dont have to patch this a week later lmao
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pediatricians are hard to find.

you aren't broken and other important things a triangle needs to hear



#gravity falls#book of bill#non euclidean geometry au#bill cipher#pyramid steve#billford#parent au#rip doc mc buggins#you won't be missed#ableism#pyramid steve is too young to really understand what's going on here which is Good#ford would be here for the checkup but bill simply has more inter-dimensional contacts on his side#also far far FAR more medical trauma to work with#not that ford doesn't#but i think his problems were always rooted in more SOCIAL problems#while bill got the fun cocktail of childhood bullying AND medical abuse AND parents couldn't/wouldn't help him#he should not be a parent#he IS trying#he is trying so hard#he will not share these worries of course#why worry ford? bill's a GOD clearly he's got this#...bill is deep down terrified he ALREADY screwed up pyramid steve#he probably had more to do with him existing as the power half of the couple-#anything wrong IS probably his fault-#he doesn't know what he's doing! did?! how does his own body even work let alone-#whatif-what if he put him together wrong. what if whatifwhatif#thoughts he will never EVER say outloud#pyramid steve is a perfect little angle#anyone who says otherwise is dead wrong#my art
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I forgot about how killing eve's writing just starts getting progressively worse the more season 3 goes on. Like girl what happened to my show.......... my characters......... what did they DO to villanelle...................... and where is EVE
#eve is gone for like half the season#and villanelle has suddenly developed empathy and started caring about killing...........#like listen ok I get not wanting to kill anymore. especially after she killed her mother#but it doesn't justify her personality doing a complete 180 like that??#like suddenly she cares when she kills people. suddenly she's not being manipulative with eve anymore#like. I could buy into a character arc like that if it made sense and didn't come out of nowhere. but it came out of NOWHERE#it's like the writer suddenly decided she was gonna make villanelle a better person#but didn't really put that much effort into setting that change up#everything that happens as season 3 goes on only really works if you don't think too much about it#and it's like the closer you get to the end the more they're asking you to suspend your disbelief#which got rlly hard for me on that last episode tbh. as much as I think the scene on the bridge is cute#all I could think about was 'villanelle feels so off. I don't think she'd act like this at all in previous seasons'#and the change just doesn't feel earned#maybe it could make sense but you have to really dig to try to find reasons why. the show sure doesn't give you many on-screen#just like it doesn't give many answers on-screen to anything at all LMAO RIGHT ON EP1#we never learn who found eve at rome and how#we never learn much of anything about how she got where she is#we never see the main couple TALK about what happened in rome. but they're suddenly cool with it after 1 fight on the bus#AND I LOVE THE BUS KISS it's probably the best scene out of the whole season#but god I wish it wasn't the only moment where we see them hashing things out#and then on ep1 there's kenny's death being used as a plot device......#and then the investigation of his murder also being 1 huge plot device#which kinda goes nowhere besides getting mentioned here and there and at the end being like#'oh! konstatin killed kenny!! do you guys remember that this whole season started off being about kenny?? remember that you guys???'#like. bold thing to do when 90% of the season wasn't about any of that#it just felt so disjointed :/ I was so sad on this rewatch bc I loved s1&2 so much............. and I forgot how bad it got after#and I know s4 is about to get worse........ oh boy#I'm almost considering not rewatching it tbh#killing eve#sleep.txt
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#miqomarch day 30 :: Free Day (Celebration)
Feeling fantastic🎆
(Vow of Reason and Warrior of Light sneaking on top of the Hunu'iliy tower to get the best vantage point for the fireworks show, proceed to get Distracted ™️)
#ffxiv#my art#miqomarch#oc#noa#koana#wol x koana#koanoa#???#funny name#listened to “fantastic” by king princess the entire time#which was roughly#probably 4 or more hours total#i have so many other sketches and half redrawn faces this was A STRUGGLe#but i love the final result#simple and efficient#hard to make pretty fireworks with this brush tho#had to look up watercolor fireworks and couldn't quite replicate it as well as i wished to but eh!!#anyways i can't wait to know what people think of this one
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let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!
#ann plays awakening#awakening trio#sometimes i forget owain is literal royalty and like#in the bad timeline hes probably like. the second most important person there?? unless luci has a sibling#obviously she’d need her own retainers but unfortunately i am thimking awakening trio thoughts. i miss. i love them in any form#that they are handed to me#i love them as best friends. as forced circumstance allies to family. as lovers.#i know i said lovers in this post but im not sure they’d ever label it as that#to me its very much ‘its not exactly romantic but its too intense to be platonic’#what i am getting at is queer platonic awakening trio btw. in case that wasnt obvious#like no matter who they are or where they go they are eachothers people dude. like literally do not separate#anyways im gonna be thinking long and hard about who should be everyones parents in this timeline#i have what i call my ‘main’ pairings and thats what i use for most of my headcanons (ex prince inigo)#but i’d like a completely separate one for owain retainer trio#i think im pretty set on fred!severa#i couuuldddd pick fred!inigo which i do think is SUPER compelling as well but something about freddy!severa… also shes so cute as a brunette#like sorry… shes just so beautiful#ive been having a lot of thoughts aboht tharj!inigo and i need to figure out if thats current bias talking or if im cooking with that one#i got no idea who owain’s second parent should be. robin maybe? idk#i mean his second parent isnt quite as impactful in regards to trio dynamics in this case just because he’s always the prince but. idk#i really like the idea of half plegian owain but i ALWAYS run half plegian owain cuz im always pairing lissa with robin or henry so its like#this isnt new 😭😭😭 but god. PLEGIAN OWAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hm. though. hear me out. manakete owain???????????????? ehhh????#sorry. idk. i love how changing the parents of the second gen can change their characterization. its like my favorite thing ever#i think its why im so attached to all of them. theres always new things to explore with them!!! its so much fun!!!!!!#graaarfggjjjhhhhhhn!!!!
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Thank you guys for dealing with me
#man I have just been really upset lately actually#late 2024 to now has just been the mask I didnt know I had was slipping#and me going “oh actually I'm pretty miserable and I was just trying to hide it from myself. what the fuck.”#and keeping those bad feelings away is getting harder and harder#i broke down completely a few days ago and had to leave dinner so my dad checked on me because I left my plate and i just. unloaded on him#I didn't even get to say everything because there's so much and im still learning how to articulate what makes me mad about my situation#he said that he can get me to see a professional (I was like LMAO FIRST TIME I SOB IN FRONT OF YOU UNPROMPTED YOU GET PROS INVOLVED?)#<- to be fair both my sisters asked for professional help and have been medicated before and he's on mental health meds too#he said maybe me talking to someone will make things better (I agree because maybe they'll help me be able to make a change in my house)#<- (cuz some stuff is just. unfair actually. and makes me super mad)#(like wdym the only minor works WAYYY more than half the house. wtf)#and also. since my social anxiety has been acting up lately and so has my paranoia. he said maybe medication would help#my social anxiety was so bad before school ended. whenever my Spanish teacher mentioned talking with people i felt sick#I've also hit my limit lately where if I'm having a bad day. one mildly annoying think makes me freak out and spiral#Like having to get toilet paper for the upstairs bathroom bc we ran out made me crash tf out#seeing people get paper plates made me so mad & complained to my sister who called me hostile for some things I said#<- And I started sobbing which was when my dad checked on me and i told him everything#man. being constantly environmentally conscious is so annoying when people in your house don't fucking care sometimes. i get sad#i feel like im personally being punished for needing to see people be wasteful because omg it gives me such guilt#sorry. tangent#i'm just really tired#of everything#I've felt like I've been annoying lately. that im not cool or funny or enjoyable#that I'm a burden you tolerate out of the goodness of your hearts or out of pity#I've felt like that for so so long#It's hard. realizing that being proud of my abilities was what kept me happy for so long. I am proud of what I can do#<- but I don't know if it's sustainable? loving yourself for accomplishments instead of for you#sorry for being depressing#vent
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you ain't ever have to lie to me, i'm everything that i've strived to be! so do i look like him...? i don't look like him! (no text under cut)
i'm predictable. all i do is draw this man suffering during wci. sorry sanji
#I DO not have any commentary on this one.#actually me when i lie#i've had this sitting in my drafts for months#i forgot. i guess i was gonna post it eventually.#never happened. this is from like. late february slash early march i thiiink#i really like it. i think it goes hard#i fw making art ft shadowy figures which are representative of figurative ideas heavy#idk. if anyone knows what im talking about here but a while ago i made art of roger + rayleigh + gaban with kinda the same idea?#and then a matching piece of monster trio#and it was like. for the roger pirates rayleigh and gaban were the focus as the pirate kings right and left hands so roger was in the bg as#a Shadowy Figure#then i made a matching monster trio one where luffy was the primary focus and zoro and sanji were the Shadowy Figures#luca when he has themes in his art (hes cooked)#I CAN ELABORATE. BUUUUT idfk if anyone actually cares other than me. so#come to your own conclusions thats more fun anyway i think#okay tag time good god i yapped#one piece#my art#sanji#black leg sanji#vinsmoke judge#he is in fact technically here if you squint really really hard#i don't actually care about not tagging him if hes barely there#because realistically if you're digging through the vinsmoke judge tag do i have any respect for you? No.#okay i'm half kidding here but fr its so everyone can filter this man out#okay. another joke#i do hate him though i understand why sanji didn't let the vinsmokes die#for thematic and character writing reasons and it makes wci peak and so much more interesting#but lowkey linlin was based for that she should've killed them all ended that bloodline right then and there she cooked i fear#OKAY NOW THAT ONE IS ACTUALLY FULLY A JOKE.
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me realizing i havent ever posted my initial designs for tox and leo/ive stopped talked about ttos as a whole:
#that have yet to be or are already mentioned in the story#idk lmao not too many ideas for it after my initialization#like should i turn it into a fic? probably#im just so awful with long term motivation/completion of fics i can never write anything longer than drabbles#and by that i mean i can write PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs but those are literally just certain specific scenes within a whole story#i think i would gen burnout trying to write it bc i would spend HOURS writing a few paragraphs and be like 0.5% done with the fic as a whol#bc im just nitpicking every paragraph to be as specific and detailed as possible bc; as i like to say; im a maximalist in writing#not only do i suck at zooming out bc i get too invested on a small part of it; but also generalizing as a whole for that matter#bc my writing style (ego) cant suck it up and write a less detailed and non obscure/not referencing 6 other things paragraph- /hj#less detailed non arbitrary not obscure and not referencing 6 other things#this is literally my toxic trait which is really unfortunate bc i'd like to turn this into an actual fic i just know it would be REALLY lon#which is something i personally find hard to read at sometimes- like pen's fics are a good length but theyre not more than one chapter#and i'd have like 6 million or something- /hj#ALSO THIS?? WHAT IM DOING IN TAGS RN??? being so damn repetitive only to say the same thing over and over again-#ik you guys dont mind but its really hard to make long term projects/writing pieces with this writing style/toxic trait /gen#oh well.. maybe one day ill turn one of my 70 aus into a fic fr.. if we dont get outed first.. /hj /srs#(also me when my au masterlist has been rotting in my drafts since like a week after i first made this acc- /gen) (its never getting posted#i havent even told you guys half of them tbh- /gen#pc rpf community#pc rpf#rpf#the taste of sugar#toxleo
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💫FIRST | PREV | NEXT | COMICFURY💫
🌟updates weekly (approximately Saturday and Sunday)🌟
✨(read tags for extra info!)✨
#p5 pmd au#p5 pmd comic#persona 5#pokemon#pmd#shuake#HI IM THE NUMBER ONE GATEKEEPING MINIGAME STAN I KNOW THOSE FOOTPRINTS BY HEART I HATE TO SAY#YES I DREW THE WRONG ONE FOR LUXIO HERE AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT#ALSO GUYSSSS HALF THE PHANTOM THIEVES !!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAAA#we wont meet the rest til dinner#which is just to say .#futaba lol#Ryuji was really hard to find a pokemon for … I knew it had to be electric but I bounced between Pikachu and like . even zeraora. idk man.#now I’m thinking blitzle would‘ve been good…. but#alas.#pawmo.#I also considered glameow Ann but … I really liked the idea of making Braixen’s ear tufts Ann’s pigtails#I didn’t match everyone to their actual element bc. well. what is nuclear in Pokémon terms#and Yusuke is obviously a smeargle#but!#I did try a lil bit :)
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I don’t know how intentional the Runes that Rich drew in episode 2 were, or how much Derek played into them aside from his initial planning, but it’s wild just how well the Runes predicted later parts of the story.
#even the half man horse one#bc didn’t that robot guy also have a horse in is introduction?#so it wasn’t LITERALLY a half man half horse but yknow#fuck the foreshadowing in this campaign is so good omg#also I forgot that that didn’t get shipwrecked at the end of episode 1#no that happens in episode 2#okay but tbf with campaigns that have a lot going on in each episode it’s hard to keep track of what happens in which episode#I know the order of which events occur but I can’t tell you what episode they’re from. aside from the title giving me a clue#why do you think I know that episode 15 of ouaw is the Coalecroux wedding episode. or ep 19 being the Torbek fight episode#legends of avantris#icebound
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#I have about half a dozen people on my heart tonight where there's nothing I can do to stop the bad things happening to them#and all I can do is send love#and pray for them (and I do trust God is caring for them with greater love and effectiveness than I ever could even if I somehow had the#ability to step in) but man it's hard not to just be able to save people - or even be there in person with them in a lot of cases.#Texts and calls can feel so empty - sometimes they make people feel bad or embarrassed#worrying that they should not have made a big deal about it (I am glad you did! I am glad you said something!)#Sometimes I worry that they come off as me attention seeking in the midst of their hardship (how selfish) or just creating another#text they have to respond to. But I love them and I want to hug them all and wish I could make it all better just by my love#Sometimes they need space and sometimes someone to talk to and sometimes they just need everything to carry on as normal#and I want to give them whatever they need - to respect their space and stay away - to make them laugh - to hug them and hear the whole#story or just nothing - but I don't always know which.#And so often nothing I can do is really helpful#but I wish it were.#I wish I could do more for them.
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I think I'm finally starting to realize Claudine wasn't just trying to tell Maya to remember her humanity or to open herself to others, to acknowledge Claudine and Claudine's love, about human passion winning over lifeless godhood- Revue of Souls was also saying what good is pride if it can't be shared
#Literally bc Maya spends the entire show the most proud with good reason but all her pride was only directed inward#She didn't know how to openly express pride in others or how to share a feeling of pride together#She felt pride was a solo act something she felt alone that no one could understand With her#And Claudine proved her wrong not just with love but by getting Maya to feel proud & awed by someone else#revue starlight#All the other girls play with this idea pride being a group achievement is literally what the series tells you by the end#But Maya was THE most hard headed in learning this lesson#Funny enough Futaba is the one who spends all her time shouting this exact message at Kaoruko that's half her entire drive#Pride should be shared in order to mean anything#Pride only directed inward becomes delusional vanity which is exactly what Claudine tells Maya#Maya like I'm a god I'm a god I Am God and Claudine is fucking pissing laughing at her that was the entire revue lmao
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.. i did not mean to start making a whole clan with lore today
#They live in the tundra which is why they're all super fluffy and have specific coloring#Rookpaw is an exception and he's also half clan#The clan is run a bit oddly because they got separated from all the other clans a LONG time ago so customs have changed#It's usually led by family#Barrenstar - Spiderfern - and Everbeam are all siblings#Everbeam is the oldest while Barrenstar and Spiderfern are littermates#Rookpaw is Spiderfern's apprentice because she has patience for his energy and knows better how to help him#Rookpaw is looked down apon a lot because his dark reddish and white fur makes it hard for him to blend in for MOST of the year#So no one really thinks he's gonna survive long#Their ancestors are believed to be all the stars but they don't really think they're like . 'Alive' like starclan is#Just kind of presences there#Everbeam fears getting messages from them and generally just sighs when they're all cryptic#He probably has scolded them and told them to just give him a straight message for once#' nOTHING IS STOPPING YOU FROM GIVING ME A SIMPLE ANSWER ON IF MY CLAN IS GOING TO DIE FROM THIS MYSTERIOUS SKY FIRE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT '#Anyways class is over#Infodump done#Deni talks#Deni draws#Warrior cats#Clan to be named
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i dont trust you if you dont like music..
#ajax posts ཋྀ#like we can chill#but js know im hiding half of my whimsy from ypou#unless i fw you heavy#which is like very low chance#i chill w everyone but dont fw everyone too hard
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*gets a professional feedback on her graphic design: existential crisis, drama, spends the next 36 hours crying*
*gets a professional feedback on her drawing skills: hype, eagerness, wanting to draw more and get better, yes I know that I should work on it more and-*
... Maybe I don't really need to decide what I want to do, uh.
#personal crap#divergentpetrel#mental health#(it's good in both ways I really needed the first feedback as well.)#(as much as it has been a punch in the guts and pretty hard)#(but yeah. 6 years with a bioenergetic therapist -I did not bioenergetic because NOPE- are enough to know that I should listen to my body)#(and body wasn't half as scared getting a pro watching my drawings as it was for my graphics#which I have no personal attachment to.)#(I have a lot of attachment personally to all the illustration/character design stuff that got evaluated)#(anyway hello I need to work on more dynamic poses)#(but apparently I escaped the same face syndrome)#(and I draw animals well)
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