#hazbin astor

[emicat1159]

I was trying to come up with a dark and dramatic caption for this... I couldn't come up with anything XD

[a-hazbin-spider]

Italian spooder torture: https://youtu.be/LqpedpNN9vk?si=Jnddv-GG3GXdsLPa

“… Astor? Doll? I’m gonna take a wild guess n’ say you uh- you found new menu items over here, eh?”

Ain’t killed him yet, but sometimes by god that guy sure tried his hardest.

@shadowofthehost

[shadowofthehost]

When Astor was new he had no idea what sex really was so Angels flirty antics went over his head or just confused him

How to become friends with Angel- meet every advance with a complete lack of understanding

Now Astor is just as much of a nightmare as Angel because he is a terrible influence on goth Bambi

[re-bon-bon-san]

Im crying he would

https://www.tumblr.com/keplercryptids/758096396329041920/i-dont-date-and-i-dont-chill-and-i-dont

[Alastor.jpeg]

real

[bewitchedfeathers]

Dust and Cold - Sick V/ox and Allergic Al/astor (Rad/iostatic)

Authors notes: (Credit to my RP partner for some of the Alastor’s sneeze spellings! Thanks darling!)

I imagine the Z's in their sneezes are static sounds. I hope you enjoy!

—-

“Well at least I wasn’t taken down by the common…cuh…heh'iiKSCHH! eh'TSCHhu! heh'iiiiZZSCHHUEE,” he lowered the handkerchief from his face enough that he could dab carefully underneath his pink tinged nose, “the common cold.” He leaned back in his high backed chair and tried to look unaffected.

“Yeah dust allergies are much more dignified,” Vox retorted from the couch opposite Alastor, voice gravelly and rough from his illness.

“I am not allergic to anything. It is merely abominably dusty in h-here with Niffty on vacation,” He finished with a pointed look to Charlie who had just appeared in the doorway.

“She works so hard for the hotel! She deserved that vacation and it was so good of you to give it to her,” she said with a bright encouraging smile that did nothing to raise the dour energy in the room. “And its only for another two days.”

“Hear that Al, you’ll only have to…hahhh…have to….Hahhh’AZZzshuhh…hh’EZzSHUHHh…SNF have to deal with your terrible dust allergies for two more days,” Vox snarked back between sneezing into his fist. He grabbed a few tissues from the box tucked next to him where he was sprawled and cleaned himself up.

“I don’t have allergies,” Alastor sniffed primly, which immediately set him sneezing again. “Hih-IkkTshiuew…hh’hih’ITZZzzShiew. Snf. Surely other members of the hotel are similarly affected. In fact your cold is probably being worsened just by being here and it’d be better for you to leave.”

Charlie froze and looked awkwardly away from Alastor at the mention of others being effected by the dust. A sure sign that Alastor was alone in his sensitivity to dust, whether he admitted it existed or not. 

Vox rolled his eyes, unphased by Alastor’s snarliness. He turned towards his shoulder, away from Charlie, to muffle a coughing fit. It dragged on for a minute sounding rough and forceful, and leaving Vox panting in the aftermath.

“Oh Vox, did you need anything?” Charlie asked, face full of sympathetic concern.

“We’re fine,” Alastor said pointedly (Vox might say possessively). Charlie ignored him and waited for Vox to respond but he waved off her concern with a hand. 

“I’m alright. If I need anything Alastor can summon it for me,” He said with a smug grin to Alastor like he knew the radio demon wouldn’t refute it.

“Only because you are too pitiful to take care of yourself, dear,” Alastor said gazing down his nose at Vox.

Vox’s antennas sparked as he glared at Alastor. “You’re such an asshole.You can never -” he paused to cough before continuing, voice ragged, “-admit to having feelings or something as benign as allergies, even in the happy-Hah’TZZSHHuh.. fucking hotel,” Vox responded snippily.

Alastor’s antlers grew slightly larger as the sound of static filled the room. “It’s the Hazbin Hotel and I don’t have any such weaknesses as…ah-hah…Hih’IKZzZkshiew…” Abruptly the room fell quiet and the heavy feeling of violence disappated as Alastor’s head jolted down into his kerchief. “Hih’IKZZshiew…IKT-zZzzshew….Hih’ih’ihhhh’ZSHIEWW…”

“Gesundheit, Al,” Vox offered placidly, letting the argument go for the moment. 

Alastor blew his nose and then replaced his kerchief with a fresh one with a flick of his fingers tinged green with magic. “Pardon me,” he murmured demurely while he shot Vox a look daring him to say anything.

Vox was distracted by another fit of coughing that he did his best to muffle into his elbow. “Fuck, this is getting ridiculous. Hhh..n-not ahh-again…” he groaned as he slowly built up to another sneeze.

As Vox's eyes fell shut, Alastor's gaze turned slightly softer, tinged with concern. But when Charlie caught it and opened her mouth to comment Alastor shot her a blood curdling look backed by the shriek of microphone feedback. Charlie settled for smiling encouragingly at him instead. 

“Hhhh…hh’huhhh…fuh-fucking heh….hell…” Vox shed a few sneezy tears as the tickle in his sinuses continued to tease him. Alastor noticed Charlie watching Vox succumb to his cold symptoms and felt a need for no one else to see Vox like this. 

“Goodnight, Charlie,” Alastor said pointedly with a glance at the open door, followed by a trio of itchy sounding stifled sneezes. “Hih’TZzsht-IZZshxt-IZZZhew. Pardon me.”

“Gesundheit. Ah, right,” she nodded taking the hint with good humor, “Good night, Alastor. Goodnight, Vox. I hope you're both feeling better in the morning.” She left with a final wave just as Vox launched into a fit of sneezes. Alastor locked the door behind her with a wave of his hand, before turning his attention back to his sick companion.

“Good…huh…goodnight…Huhhh’hhh…HUHhhh’IZZZJSHHHOO…hh’Huh’UhZZZSHHHuhh…hhhhh…hhih…Heh’EIIZZZSHHHeww….” Vox groaned and began mopping himself up, going through quite a few tissues in the process. Alastor grimaced at the pile when Vox was finished and disappeared them with a wave of shadow.

“Gesundheit, dear. Quite the cuhhh-snf cold you managed to catch there,” Alastor commented as he dabbed at his nose. “Would you care for some tea?” 

“Thadks, Al. Tea sou’ds good,” Vox said tiredly, shivering a bit even with a throw blanket wrapped around his shoulders. 

Alastor summoned another blanket, in his favored red tones, over Vox's legs. And then snapped hot tea into existence for each of them. 

Vox huddled over the tea as if trying to soak up its warmth. He took a sip and gave a pleased hum as he found it was made just how he liked it. Then he shot Alastor a grateful little grin. 

“It's perfect, Al. Thadk you.”

“Its nothing, dear. But you're welcome,” Alastor responded, voice fond and expression gone soft around the edges.

A few minutes passed before Alastor’s breath caught and Alastor’s shadow grabbed the cup from him just in time as he started sneezing. The fit bent him forward with each sneeze, his hair falling into his face and ears pressed back.

“Hhh’hih-hihh-hehIKSH’ieww… Eh’TSHHiew..Hnn— KSH! Kshue! Hehh’HEHH?! EIISHHUE!” Alastor gave a staticky groan and dabbed at his red rimmed eyes. “Pardon mbe, dear,” he murmured before blowing his nose to clear out the sound of congestion.

“Holy shit, Alastor, Gesundheit,” Vox said, eyes still a little wide at the ferocity of Alastor’s fit.

“Thank you, dear,” Alastor said straightening his hair and jacket and reclaiming his tea. After which he pretended that nothing had happened, and Vox was tired enough not to tease him about it.

Over the course of Alastor drinking his tea Vox’s gaze grew rheumy and his face flushed in reflection to his rising temperature. Alastor began darting glances at him, Vox for once oblivious to the attention.

“Feeling alright, my dear?” He asked when Vox had stopped drinking from his tea cup for several minutes.

“Hm?” He looked over at Alastor blearily.

Alastor’s smile dipped at the corners, Vox never missed what he said. “How are you feeling, Vox?” 

“Tired…Hhhh’HDZsshhuh-Heh’SHuhh..” He sneezed openly down towards his lap and electric sparks danced across his visible skin. Alastor’s eyes went wide with a mix of alarm and concern. “Gesundheit, darling,” he murmured as he set his own empty tea cup aside.

He stood up and carefully took Vox’s tea and set it aside as well. “Then you should rest, my dear. You’re running a fever.” He adjusted pillows and eased the loose and compliant Vox back until he was fully laying down and tucked in. Once he had Vox’s long limbs tucked underneath the blankets he gave the media demon’s shoulder a pat. 

“Get some sleep, you’ll feel better in the morning.” He stood to return to his chair when Vox let out a staticky whine and rasped, “Don’t leave…”

Alastor sighed softly and sat back down. “I’ll be here when you wake, my dear,” he reassured as Vox’s stuffy breathing grew heavier with sleep.

(And then Alastor stifled his sneezes into silence so as to not wake Vox for however many hours. (And probably catches Vox’s cold))

The End

–

Fun Headcanons that came from writing this:

+ Alastor only uses Vox's name when he's irritated or worried

+ Alastor is protective of Vox when he's vulnerable and doesn't like anyone seeing Vox in moments of helplessness (also doesn't want anyone seeing him soft on Vox)

+ If Alastor summons something for Vox its often with designs and colors that represent Alastor, he likes seeing Vox marked as his in some small way

------

[Fic Masterlist]

Let me know if you enjoyed and feel free to give me prompts for Haz/bin or Hell/uva! (Anon is on!)

(Also I think for every comment I've received I've written about 300 words - so feel free to get me writing!)

[crooked-wasteland]

Have you seen Calxiyn Cares Too Much's videos (on YouTube) on Hazbin Hotel's songs & why a lot of them don't work the best?

It's been a bit since I've watched them, but she's apparently got some theatre credits to her name & has made super in depth break downs (sometimes literally syllable by syllable) on why several of the Hazbin songs are clunky & whatnot. If you can't quite put your finger on why a certain part of a song felt off, her videos might help if needed!

I look forward to reading your next break downs on Hazbin/Helluva things, it's always a pleasure to see your posts on my dashboard!

I appreciate you Anon, as I have never heard of this creator before. I have been listening to musical theory through creators like Sideways, Astor Rhymemaster, Jonah Who Two, Charles Cornell, and Maxwell Greene. I also try to intertwine their knowledge of music and musicals into the broader circuit of multi-media technicalities conveyed through creators like Lindsey Ellis and Dan Olsen.

I will definitely look into Calxiyn's videos and I will be referencing most if not all of these creators throughout the essay as well. As I said, I do not have the ethos of being a professional in this field, but I am fascinated by concepts like music theory and perhaps my essay can contribute to a sharing of knowledge and draw attention to the actual professionals who have taught me.

I am always open to recommendations. Please never shy from reaching out.

[maxwellhauskaffee]

Viv's mad that someone made a Hitler joke from the "I'm sorry" meme from Hazbin Hotel, but she literally made an Epstein / Hitler joke in HoaB and one with Jeffrey Dahmer in the HH pilot?

I thought the show was supposed to be edgy and cutting like Family Guy and South Park? Why you upset that people are making the kinds of jokes you'd see in both of those shows? Why are Verosika rape jokes ok? What's going on? Lmao.

And the thing is - I liked those jokes in both shows! It's hell! They are horrible people in hell! If this stuck to the comedy format or like a dark satire of some kind - these kinds of jokes are ok.

But the show both wants to be South Park religious funny but Ali Astor and Mike Flanagan level of deep and serious concerning religious and spiritual motifs.

Maybe Viv's upset because some dumb teen's joke brings up a serious flaw in the show if not correctly handled...

How does Charlie decide who's worth redeeming if she does? Would she be willing to forgive, say - Now... I'm serious... I'm being deadass serious...

Would she be willing to redeem Valentino.

"But that's not can -" shut up. This is a critical thinking scenario applied to Charlie's canonical goal to help any sinner who wants it...

If Valentino strolled up into that bitch and was like, "I was a bad boy; I'm sorry," would Charlie help him? Would it be good to help him even if Angel Dust is there? Would she chastise Angel Dust if he's upset at Valentino being there?

If we're talking on the scale of sin here – that is, if we're to weigh all sins as we do in the Western human court of law... he's not Hitler, Epstein, or Dahmer. Like sure, he's a pimp like Epstein and a rapist who likes mind control like Dahmer. But Angel's an adult, and Valentino didn't drill a hole through his head and pour acid in it and then eat his flesh...

SO... should Charlie help Valentino by principle if he's truly sorry, and should he be able to go to heaven if he redeems himself?

[kommandantpinks]

OMG NEW ASTOR FAN A N D YOU LIKE HAZBIN HELLO HI HI HI WELCOME!!!! :D YOU ARE NOW ONE OF US ENJOY YOUR STAY

HI!! is totally not a vaati fan wearing an astor mask

I DO LOVE HAZBIN HOTEL THO YES YES YES THANK YOU!! I SHALL ENJOY MY STAY

[phaethonstims]

WHORE stimboard (rowan) /silly

TOTALLY APPROPRIATE ROWAN ASTOR STIMBOARD!!

Req ; Beatrixcampbelltruther

It's hooker, you got a hooker themed one .. Or whore themed. Whichever you prefer! I forgot just how fun it is to make these and i'm so sorry we've been gone for months :(

—Owner1

Gif creds below:

[lucifertheanalyzer]

The idea of Adam being on the ace spectrum is based. I like the idea of him (and Lilith and Eve) being demisexuals. I hope Adam isn't straight because there is a small amount of Guitar/spear shippers who are homophobic and against the idea of Adam being bi/pan. 😬They seem to be fine with Bi Lute though, it's confusing.

(This is about Radio/apple) I am a broken record but asexuals can date allosexuals. Besides Al's romantic attraction is unknown. I would not be shocked if they make Ai is a homo/biromantic (Okay, they might make him gay to kill of charl/astor for good lmao). Oriented AroAces exists (proof, I am one of them).

The possibility of him being sex repulsed is high. As someone who is, sex repletion is a spectrum in itself. The idea of intercourse makes me want to scream and disgusts me but I have no problem with sex jokes in media (I mean if I did, my ass would not would not like Hazbin). Anyway, Viv has liked Adamsapple art before. I hope Adam is revealed to be a fruit and is somewhere on the rainbow.

If Adam will ever get a confirmed sexuality,Vivziepop will most likely make him asexual (because he is so undesirable not even his assigned wives wanted him). Then the fandom will come up with the 🌌fresh and shiny headcanons🌌 to fill in the blanks and explain how does it work in context.

"The reason Adam is talking about his dick so much it's because he is trying to make people get repulsed by him and not want to have sex."

OR

"Adam is like that because he is not aware of his own sexuality (just like Alastor),so he is just trying to fit in with the norm."

You literally cannot pretend it won't end up into another "Asexual Mammon" situation if this does happen.

The ONLY way this may not happen dependends solely on Vivziepop's opinion regarding the Adam X Lucifer ship. If her opinion is positive (just like it is with r@di0@ppl3,where I bet she regretted making Alastor asexual after discovering this ship),then Adam will be 100% guaranteed as pansexual and will also have the desire to fuck everyone and everything.

Asexual Adam would be interesting to see and quite a plot twist. My prediction regarding Adam’s sexuality is that he’s either straight, bisexual (I wouldn’t be surprised especially with his knowledge about Angel Dust), or pansexual.

With Adam, he’s not completely undesirable and still has game despite majority of women on screen hating/disliking him. In episode 1, Overtune: Adam mentions having sex with a woman in Heaven. I’ve also heard Vivziepop has liked a few adamsapple art.

[a-hazbin-spider]

@shadowofthehost (Astor wanted to do it for platonic reasons and also cause they're fun) "If I was direct, I wouldn't have any fun."

“Heh! You really are my kinda guy, Glowstick. I guess I can accept that you speak in fuckin riddles sometimes. But, yer special, it ain’t gonna work wit’ jus’ any bonehead. Though, I guess I just don’t wanna th’ person expect that I read their mind, or be weird n’ passive wit’ me. I’m not smart enough f’ that!”

Platonic reasons or not, Angel can’t deny him that he sure is a type that he can’t help but love n’ care for! Astor is a darling lil punk and a bestie! It’s decided that he’d kill for him!

[shadowofthehost]

Angel’s gonna hold hands. But like. All of them are being used to hold that hand. Skill✨

@a-hazbin-spider

"...I feel like I have so many people trying to hold my hand at once and it's just you." He chuckled. Well now he had to add his other hand cause Angel was using all of his, it seemed unfair to only use one.

@a-hazbin-spider

[aquietnerd]

Finally watching the entirety of Hazbin with a friend did make me feel better about it, have the Hellverse juices bubbling a bit.

I still think I would struggle to feel like I could write in that fandom though. At least on a wider community scale. Maybe bring back my Al/astor privately.

Something for me to think on.

[1ndecisivetra1nwreck]

Beetlejuice needs to be forcibly removed from me

Astor and Vox are too fun to draw as Lydia and Beetlejuice

[helluvapurf]

idk if you're still doing the bingo but if you don't mind any hazbin ships: what do you think of charlie x alastor/charlastor?

(Oop, meant to put this in the previous ask I answered) -But yep! I'm still taking shipping bingo asks if anyone's curious, go ahead ^^

As for what I think of Char/lastor? ...Weeeeell- ^^;

Been awhile since the OG Hazbin pilot came out and... my thoughts are basically about as "meh" into the ship as I was previously :/ 🤷‍♀️

Like, on the surface level I can (somewhat) see the appeal with their shared love of theatrics, the “opposites attract” potential with their designs, and perhaps down the line with alot of character development, a (legit) Charlie & Alastor friendship could be interesting to explore...

...But outside of the basic aesthetic appeal... ehh, this one just feels like it's gonna be doomed to fail with all their innate differences 😔 Alastor's an Overlord of Hell who yearns on misery and failure, even admitting openly that he thinks Charlie's plan of "redemption" is only good for entertainment value... and, not much else? Meanwhile with Charlie's (admittedly naive) yearning for redeeming as many souls as she can, I feel like the only way Alastor would even look at her in that direction would be by lying/manipulating her for his own gain...

Which like... given all the crap Charlie has to deal with from everyone else on the daily (minus Vaggie ofc), why put the girl through even more potential heartache, yknow? :(

(Not to mention just how... well, "everywhere" the pairing can be when it comes to fandom browsing (*to the point that others seem to just get ignored/bashed-on in favor of more Charl/astor focus :c*), and the ship just overall ain't my cup of tea in the long run-)

[because-i-simp]

“I Always Drink Whiskey...It’s Never Turned Against Me Like This Before...”

Fem!Niss is just drunk and frustrated! @shadowofthehost​