#he’s happy to hear Michael has a fave

[chloesimaginationthings]

Gregory making sure Michael is a true FNAF fan

[puckgoss]

Okay great! Same anon from before. BTW, love your blog! The others seem to have a clear bias but I love how you keep it real over here. Super interesting as well! Now with the real deal...

CELEBS:

Justin Bieber is super nice, he seemed genuinely honored and happy to be there. Him and Mitch Marner are sooo cute, Justin was so supportive of him all the time and cheered backstage so much. He's also cool with Crosby apparently, saw them talking a lot. Met Hailey briefly and not surprised, just classic model behavior, glasses on inside, didn't say hi to anybody just a slight smile. It's fine I guess but compared to Justin who was a ray of sunshine seemed kinda odd. Michael Bublé did not 'accidentally' take a huge dose of weed, he was joking about how high he was and laughing about smoking more afterwards. Will Arnett is like a drunk uncle but not drunk. Both nice. Tate McCrae is soo sweet! I felt her because we were only like 5/6 women backstage and she was the only female captain, also with an ex who is an NHL player so already has that "puck bunny" reputation, so her being there was cool to see. Her BF was also backstage, but I don't think the players knew it was her BF haha, a colleague and I noticed at least 15 of the guys walking up to her and chatting it up. Ones I remember that looked flirty are Sway, the Hughes (they talked throughout the whole weekend and they're all around the same age so may have been friendly but you know how men are), Elias Lindholm, Elias Petterson, & Mat Barzal. She obviously talked to a lot of people but these I remember looking more like them trying to get somewhere with her. Her and her BF are so cute though! He was very touchy with her. Saw her talking to Boone Jenner for a while, but he seemed just friendly. He is also her ex's teammate so wonder what that's about.

PLAYERS:

Auston Matthews is actually really charismatic. At one point the whole dressing room went quiet and we heard him singing "Baby" by Justin Bieber. We all cracked up haha. The Hughes brothers had a fight the first day, don't really know about what but Jack walked in upset and Quinn wouldn't even look at him. Both with their frowning RBF. McDavid had the same attitude as Hailey Bieber LOL. He softened up a bit when talking to other players but otherwise he is super cold always. Pasta and Travis Konecny also seemed to lowkey hate each other. Colleague told me Travis doesn't like Pasta at all but can't 100% confirm that as I didn't hear it directly, just an interesting rivalry. The Canucks players were like a group of mean girls, they literally stuck together the entire weekend, even if they were drafted to separate teams. Vincent Trocheck flirted his ASS off with several women, myself included. Found out later he was married. Swayman is truly a nice person, I think he and Boone Jenner were the only ones who said hi to the whole crew and also goodbye. Also saw him and Georgiev have a bro-hug after they lost the game and he said something to him that made him really laugh, it was very cute. The Hughes also seem to not like Suzuki, avoided him all weekend. Cale Makar is like a doll haha he is so awkward all the time and everytime he speaks his face looks like he immediately regrets it.

That's all at the top of my head, but if there's anything else you want to know LMK!

ahaha ty ty! i def have my biases when it comes to teams but i try pretty hard to keep it neutral and not give my biases away 😭 as for players i don't have any faves or rly think any are angels so i have no preconceptions there

omg there is so much to unpack here idek where to begin

justin bieber - he did seem so happy to be there the whole time lol he loves hockey and the leafs i think that was all 100% genuine! so sweet

hailey bieber - sounds abt right lol

michael bublé - lmaooooo tell me ur from vancouver without telling me ur from vancouver.... iconic he was so funny that whole weekend

tate mcrae - ya i forget her bf's name but i was aware he was there n they do seem v cute together! love all the wifed up guys chatting her up ahaha except barzy n petey they get a pass. another anon on here was telling me all the CBJ guys & wags liked tate a lot so doesn't surprise me that boone & her were friendly

hughes brothers - jack n quinn having a fight is soooo funny omfg i can't. also being bitchy towards suzuki like 😭 funny bc they're so tight w cole caufield (esp jack) n suzuki n cole are teammates and besties

mcdavid - you comparing mcdavid to hailey bieber is fucking sending me dsiofjdskghdfjklgh he is so awkward...

TK - TK having beef w pasta is soooo funny

canucks - canucks players "like a group of mean girls" i'm dying omfg 💀 lindholm was drafted to a separate team ya but he was only traded to the canucks like a few days before that so that was the first time they were really meeting him

trocheck - flirting his ass off with multiple women dsfknadslfkjgfng his kids were literally on the ice watching the skills comp w him that's soooo bad

swayman & jenner - being sweethearts aw that is nice to hear

cale makar - "like a doll" "awkward all the time" "every time he speaks his face looks like he immediately regrets it" perfect no notes!!!

[lady-margaret]

bridgerton season 3 episode 3 screaming thoughts (unedited)

this was marked mature for some reason so im reposting 🙃

this is a dream isnt it

okay not a good idea to watch this full volume without any headphones in a dorm building with relatively thin walls

OH ITS COLIN'S DREAM!!?!?!? i was rly counting on it to be pen's..... YES I WANT HIM TO BE AS DESPERATE IF NOT MORE THAN ANTHONY WHAHAHHSHAHS

bridgerton sibs dreaming about their future spouses lol ("anthony's night and day i dream of you" counts)

^ speaking of that i miss daphne

love seeing the bedrooms more and more

WTF HAPPENED TO HIS ARM HELP GREG PLSSS

hyacinth is rly gorg

why are the bridgertons so dumb and bad at

NOT acting suspicious "i slept so well... not even a dream" BUT WTF ARE U TALKING ABOUT WHAHDJSHDJSB

bridgerton blue is so pretty

COLIN STOP ACTING SUS he really is related to anthony and daphne jfc this FAMILY

OH hot air balloon thingy ive been hearing about

IM EXCITED FOR MORE LORD DUBLIN

pLS I WANT THE STIRLING COUSINS!!!!!!!!!!!

lady danbury and the queen: and iconic duo as always

o lord the featherington sisters are insane BWHAHAHAHHAH

URGH I AM LOVING ELOISE GOWNS THIS SEASON

ELOISE AND PENELOPE PLS BE FRIENDS AGAIN SOON IM GONNA START CRYING i hope pen gets to explain huhuhuhu

no dont go in there thats not a good ideaaa

wait theyre cute; theyre the cute couple, kathonys the steamy passionate couple, idk what to label daphne and simon

lord debling is so interesting i actually really like him so far

i love penelope in bridgerton blue

i love the subtle hints of book canon

franny's SO PRETTY how are all the bridgertons so pretty

a-holes, the lot of them also when am i gonna see more kate and anthony im starved

alice is so pretty

LOL colin YES!!! we want penelope to find a husband

BENEDICT PLSSSSSSSSSSSS i love him... im so excited for him to fall in love with sophie

"he's dead" HELP

okay debling is cool but a lil bit intense for me

“oh i would not tell him that"

cressida gaslighting herself to like lord debling Imao

the featherington sisters are hilarious; its really cute how they actually seem to like their husbands

hyacinth and gregory are becoming real faves for me

this is coling following pen around: 🐕

COLIN CALM URSELF o god hes down bad

u kno what i feel like cressida may end up with debling since colin will obviously end up with pen

O GOD WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH pennnnsndnbdnsjdn

colin ur so hot we all kno ur not looking at that damn balloon

where the hell are anthony and kate

HELP BENEDICTTTTTTT ur so cute poookie

eloise 😭😭😭😭😭😭

its giving same vibes as serpentine boat scene from szn 2 for some reason

colin ur so hot colin ur so hot

lol violet ur garden will soon be watered

are anthony and kate seriously on a honeymoon again WHERE ARE THEY

cressida and penelope vying for debling's attention is kinda entertaining

FRANNY RUN pls look for a scottish earl named john stirling ! he will make u happy while he is able to do so and he has a wonderful family! he has a cousin named michael who is great 😌

kate where are u

oh? WHATS UR NAME SIR IM TRYNA SEE SOMETHING IS UR LAST NAME STIRLING

i feel like benedict and his new paramour (okay her name is tilly) is gonna be a diff version of anthony and sienna in the way that it will kickstart his season (BECAUSE S4 IS GONNA BE BEN'S PLS)

debling is so wholesome OH GOD

DID HE JUST GIVE CRESSIDA'S LEMONADE TO PEN

dw cressida he could still b urs

AY ANTHONY MENTIONED now bring him out

АНННН MAMA VIOLET KNOW i just know she loves pen sm

o god colin colin calm yourself ur in a room FULL OF PEOPLE STOP IT colin colin calm down

OH HAPPIER THAN EVER ???????? ouch

[gamequeenanya]

I may have figured out FNAF.

(Aka: "Phone Guy and the inherent tragedy of every developed FNAF character.")

Now, this isn't some deep theory post. It's just my observation watching the characters of the series and what happens to them.

FNAF is and always has been, a tragedy. (Everyone already knows this in relation to the ghost kids, but let's look deeper.)

And all this time I've been wanting more character development for my faves, I failed to realize that they already had it. But in the opposite direction as I may have liked.

You see, FNAF characters - every single one of them that even has a character to speak of - goes through a fall arc. Every single one of them (even the few who get rescued in the end, like Vanessa.)

Michael Afton has a fall arc (Bite of 83, and his gradual deterioration in the Sister Location Custom Night)

William Afton has a fall arc (his envy of Henry leads to his downfall, and then leads to himself getting Springlocked and deteriorating physically as well as mentally)

Other characters can have either a physical or mental state of getting worse as the story goes on, but many have both.

The Glamrocks get dirtier - and most of them are broken by the end. Glamrock Freddy survives but by the end, only his head is left.

There are exceptions to this rule - we don't yet know what Steel Wool is going to do with Gregory and Cassie - but for the most part this story is about everyone suffering because of FNAF, even if they start out in a relatively good place at the beginning.

Now to the part I've been waiting to tell.

All of Phone Guy's calls through the three games are about a fall arc. (Yes, even FNAF 3. It's subtle but it's there.)

He starts out as an older teen/young adult who seems really happy and excited to be a part of the Fazbear Experience. Listening to the tapes, you can hear the smile in his voice as he's reading the script.

But then, gradually, he starts smiling less and less. If you listen to the first tape and then the last tape back to back, you'll notice the fall from grace... What started out as a sweet, happy young man turns into a sad man with guilt and trauma. And even though he is telling us to "Remember to Smile!," he no longer puts any effort into even faking a smile by the end.

And it gets worse when you realize that this is someone who is bearing the burden of something he didn't do. People who are too nice often find themselves bearing the burden of other people's actions. And it feels like this is the case here. Phone Guy did not want anyone to get hurt on the job. Whether they actually listened to his tapes or muted him is not clear, but the fact is it would upset him greatly to hear someone got hurt on the job, and bear the guilt of the incidents. Phone Guy is good at hiding his emotions and pretending everything is fine, but as I'm listening close during a deep dive, it's clear his heart is affected by this.

That's not even getting into what William Afton did... Phone Guy has to pretend to be happy and smiley, but he can't help get passive aggressive when he finds out William broke the rules.

And then, listening to the less subtle ways the restaurant broke his heart... He went from a cheerful youngster wanting to work for a company that seemed like a lot of fun, to someone just trying to keep it together for the next person. By FNAF 2, he "succeeded." He's "lucky" because he gets to be paid more as a manager. But FNAF 2 contains probably the worst trauma ever for him... failing to save five children, and then dealing with the guilt. Then, (for whatever reason), he steps down from his previous position to take the night shift. Well, I have an inkling why, but it's dark. Does tumblr still allow us to say it without censoring it? I think the reason is that he's punishing himself for not being able to do more.

And then the FNAF 1 fall arc. This has all led up to the most unconvincing attempt of hiding his emotions we've seen so far. Phone Guy here is nervous. He's frazzled. He knows he's going to die. (But goshdarnit if he isn't going to talk to the nightguard he's training and try to help as much as he can.)

(And I know a lot of what Phone Guy says is just Scott trolling the player, but I can't help love it and want to analyze it nonetheless.)

And how could this be complete if I also don't analyze the trailer line:

"Hello hello? If you're hearing this, you've probably made a very poor career choice!" - If every other instance of Phone Guy lines can be dismissed as not being dark humor, I think this definitely is. But take a moment and consider: who is he really talking about here? The player is not going to have a long career at Freddy's. Nightguards at Freddy's tend to be a short time gig (for whatever reason). Whose job can safely be called a "career" then? It's Phone Guy. He's talking about himself. He regrets working here and he wants to warn you away from the job... And why would the trailer line be cut from the game? It isn't out of character. It's just something Fazbear Ent would not let him get away with saying.

Basically, this is the first instance of the FNAF fall arc, but it's a darned effective one. It's a tragic tale of a man who just wanted to have fun at a place that seemed nostalgic and happy.

[thislovintime]

(Photo 1) Michael Nesmith, Davy Jones, and Peter Tork onstage in August 1967, photo by Tom Morton; (photos 4, 6 & 7) Peter taking photographs of Michael and Davy, published in Flip magazine, March 1968; (photo 5) Peter and Michael at the 2014 Monkees Convention, photo by Bobby Bank/WireImage.

“I have a great deal of respect for Mike as a musician and a songwriter. He’s very good. He could make it on his own easily. Also he’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. [...] Davy has a lot of guts. Internal fortitude if you prefer.” - Peter Tork, Flip, August 1967

“The first time I met Peter was at the Troubadour where he performed, long before the auditions. I’ve always liked his warmth and honesty. And he’s always been very kind to me. Both Davy and Peter have lived with us and Peter was always very considerate, helping with the dishes and all. [...] Christian liked all of them right from the first. He’s always so happy when any of the Monkees drops over. When Davy and Peter lived with us it was kind of a family atmosphere. They just all kind of pitched in — and even babysat for us!” - Phyllis Nesmith, Fave magazine, January 1968

“I remember staying at Mike’s house in Hollywood when we first started filming the series. It was the upper story of a two-story building on a little hillside. Mike’s wife, Phyllis, was wonderful. Mike and I laughed a lot and played music together. I remember that time very fondly.” - Peter Tork, When The Music Mattered (1984) (x)

“Looking back I have to say that Davy was the one I had the most feeling for, Micky was the one I had the most fun with, and Mike was the one I had the most respect for.” - Peter Tork, Monkeemania: The True Story of The Monkees (1997)

“The man was unique and a huge, huge talent. We’re not going to replace him. [...] [Davy] was such a little heartthrob. I don’t think people knew how bright and talented and gifted he was in all things. I’ve come to believe he was, in his own way, the smartest, most musically talented and best actor among us.” - Peter Tork, Boston Globe, May 16, 2013

“Basically with Michael we don’t ask [about touring with The Monkees]. If he says that he doesn’t want to do it, then he doesn’t want to do it. Nobody has very much influence on Michael in any case so there is hardly any point is us trying to cajole him into anything that he doesn’t want to do. We will miss Tex.” - Peter Tork, UK Music Reviews, May 28, 2015

“We dearly miss our dear departed brother; our brother in arms; the small one, now what’s his name, it will come to me in a minute (laughter). We called him the Manchester Cowboy. Davy had a love affair; a brief flirtation with country music for a little while and we called him the Manchester Cowboy from that, and it stuck. It’s all fond memories.” - Peter Tork, UK Music Reviews, May 28, 2015

“The first time I heard that [’Me and Magdalena’] I heard just Michael’s lead vocal without Micky’s harmony part, and I was really struck. Michael has tapped some new, personal emotional depth within himself that I never expected to hear on record. [...] I only now have, in the last couple of years, come to understand how smart and good-hearted Davy Jones could be. I did not have the skills to notice that, even though I was drawn to it without knowing exactly why. But I certainly did not have the first clue of how to encourage all of the good stuff from Davy that I loved. I wish I could have known how to do it — and he might still be with us, even.” - Peter Tork, Las Vegas Weekly, September 14, 2016

“Mike and I have been back and forth with the emails […] I bore him no ill-will. I have a lot of respect and admiration and some affection for Mike. And I’m glad to be back in touch with him.” - Peter Tork, interview with Iain Lee, 2012

"What I made the decision to do [in the last year or so of Peter’s life] was to stand by his side, be a friend and give him as good a send-off as I know how to give from this plane of existence.” - Michael Nesmith, The Courier Mail, April 10, 2019

"I will miss [Peter] — a brother in arms. Take flight my Brother.” - Michael Nesmith, Facebook, February 2019 (x)

[cherubchoirs]

um .. hiii i love ur art and writing so much and i jus. wanted u to know fallen gabe occupies my brain very often and i love the symbolism you use in a bit of your artwork, concepts and writing n its cool to see how much passion u put into everything :} i like hearing your understandings of the characters in their depth its really cool...

are there any little tidbits or scenarios youve thought of that you havent written about or shared yet, either deep or just fun and silly?

aaaaa thank you so much!!! i'm so happy you all give me the chance to express my thoughts and that you enjoy reading them even if i talk a whole lot.....i have definitely gotten very attached to this au and i'm glad you enjoy it with me, it's been so fun building it up and also getting to explain why make the choices i do (plus getting ideas from asks!!) also just so you know,,,,you have beautifully delicate work, it is so incredibly romantic in appearance and i absolutely love it ;o; it's so light and dreamy...i'm always amazed by how lovely it is!

as for other little scenarios, i have,,,,so many,,,,but i'll talk about a few of my faves!!

one scene i REALLY would like to draw out is raphael meeting with gabriel after he shows the councilor's head to heaven - raphael finds him before he leaves for hell and it's just...very quietly tragic, because the archangels in my headcanon are all connected, sharing in their souls and emotion. for gabriel's light to be ripped from him, for him to be bound for hell and surely for his death, is incredibly traumatizing for raphael, who will now also essentially be alone - michael left when god disappeared and uriel is in "meditation" (a coma really) so it's just been raphael and gabriel left, seeing each other in their brief times for rest (they all lived together - they would check on uriel before sitting together in the little time they had) they had drifted with all their duties, but they were forever bound as siblings and they took a lot of solace in each other's presence. at least that was constant. but now michael is gone, uriel won't wake up, and gabriel is dying. raphael is left as the last archangel standing and surely all of heaven will look to him for leadership. and gabriel knows he will be a good steward, not power hungry in the slightest. yet raphael is betrayed, hurt, he can't understand why this happened, why gabriel has to go now. there's so much to say and no time to say it. so ultimately raphael just embraces and blesses him (to gabriel's surprise given his slaughter of the council), telling him to take care even if there's no time left. i just. i love the archangels as a little sibling group that's fallen apart, yet there is still love in each of them ;~;

another scenario (or...set of vignettes i suppose) deal with v1's time before man's extinction, when it was still being tested in its facility. v1 was actually fairly "close" with the mechanics that repaired it and they got to know a lot of its idiosyncrasies (as well as v1 still using a lot of their vocabulary when it signs now) i have like. an entire silly scene where they wake it up for a little office party (NOT supposed to!!!!) and how v1 sometimes liked to "play hooky" from drills by pretending to be broken in some way (the mechanics got wise to it eventually, telling it that if it keeps that up they're gonna turn it back into scrap!!!) it didn't form any deep bonds with them like it might be able to now since it wasn't advanced enough then, but v1 remembers them fondly now that it has the capacity to. additionally, in that comic i made about meeting its makers in violence, i thought about including a little scene where one of the husks repairs some damage that had been done that blood couldn't heal and v1....sort of having a split-second of hesitation. because. that must be a mechanic. and in some way, it misses them. but really, all they want is for v1 to survive - that's why they would always fix it, even now.

OUGH also when v1 absolutely freaks out earlier on in its relationship with gabriel - i feel like i mentioned this at some point, but i really like the idea of gabriel becoming seriously injured in a fight with some demons/machines when he's adjusting to his fallen status, and in a panic v1 performs a blood transfusion. but. every single thing in its code screams at it not to, it has to bypass about a dozen security measures and shut down a decent portion of its functioning to allow itself to do so. but once it does, it realizes how off-programming the behavior was, to the point where it's convinced if it goes any further the corruption to its software will be so complete it risks fatal errors and brain death. so it bolts the minute gabriel comes to and it actually takes him about a week to find it again, absolutely terrified himself the entire time as he's not ready to lose v1 BUT ALSO significantly pissed off lol he's ready to give it plenty of shit upon reuniting with it, but with some explanation (as he REFUSES to let it run again), he comes to understand how serious this is...and just what v1 did for him in spite of all of its programming to the contrary.

THEN i just have a lot silly or cute things, like how v1 greatly enjoys bath time much to gabriel's surprise and often asks for "a wash" even when perfectly clean. i also KNOW i said this before, but v1 loves generating liminal pool rooms and impossible "animals" in its mind - it can spend HOURS doing this, and get VERY invested in it, but it didn't want gabe to be lonely so it made a "chatbot" to interact with him while it does this (v1 likes to call its internal bots "worker vee-s") he found it pretty funny since it was terrible, and quickly retired. oh oh and i also really like v1 and fallen gabriel staying with the ferryman for a bit when they don't yet have a place to live...and i talked about how the ferryman struggles accepting gabriel again, but i like to think gabriel still sings. he and v1 will snuggle in by the fire and he'll sing, just as beautiful as he did in haven even if it's now in the infernal language...and the ferryman will linger outside their door, listening to him sounding just the way he always has (they can get overwhelmed by it sometimes, but it helps when v1 cuts in with a midi remix lol) and finally since i've. gone on long enough. i know a lot of ppl do bird-coded gabe (rightfully so!!) but to me he is. sheep-coded. man will eat flowers right out of a window-box and headbutt as a primary way of attack. thank you.

[onett64]

my long awaited what matters most review that i wrote a week before the album actually came out

But wait there's more:

I like this one, I love how the sound of the exhausting lover bridge transcends the entire album. I love the lyric “did we really think we’d go back to normal” . It's like this album is a post covid more deep way to normal. It's a great song that questions our morals and their changes over the past years. I LOOVE the brass. I'm so happy he's using it more in this album.

Clouds with ellipses:

Idk man this one just reminds me of a church hymn but they all sound the same, it's kinda like this album's version of gone from rockin the suburbs. The emphasis on his voice in this one is really nice. He has a very good voice but I'm neutral about this one, I'm sure it'll grow on me cuz right now I think it's kinda silly. Oh wait it kinda reminds me of Gracie but not as good  lol!

Exhausting lover:

Probably my least favorite single but damn it's still so good. I like the keyboard and the big band sound that comes in, the bridge OH MY GOD THE BRIDGE is so fucking good. Anyway the weird lyrics and story is fun but i already had my autism moment  over it. Also the music video is a 10/10 so it has that going for it.

Fragile:

Sounds like me learning scales on the piano at 5 years old. I REALLY like this one its so good lyrically

Kristine from the 7th grade:

So this one has already been played live quite a few times so it's not my first time hearing. But damn this one is good. I fucking love it. The lyrics are so true and relatable fr. the strings. This one sounds like it's out of a musical or something so ben i wouldn't mind if you quit writing pop and made a musical i'll eat that shit up. I just realized this basically sounds like erase me but about ur conspiracy theory facebook aunt. PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVES just you know what song is my fave. You know what this sounds like? The cover of creep in the book of life. Don't question me idk what im saying either

Back to anonymous (ben folds fucked my wife 4chan thread):

Best song on the album. Maybe tied with winslow gardens. It's basically everything I love from silverman songs and it's better. The harmonica?? Also whatevers at the end sounds so good too. God. best song ever made.

Winslow gardens:

Also the best song on the album. It makes me so happy honestly, it's just a really sweet song with a nice story and I like the time signature because it's the one I can never play. I have a few ben songs that just put me in a good mood and are a blessing to my ears regardless of what they are about (fair, kate, break up at a food court, fired, phone in a pool, hiro's song, bruised, etc) and this is def one of them 

Paddleboard breakup:

Boats are cool ngl. I really like this one! Wonder what gf this is about

What matters most:

I have high expectations for this being a title track. Tbh it sounds like long way to go from so there lol. It's good. I don't KNOW Ben, why don't you tell me what do YOU think matters most??

Moments:

Does every song on this freakin album sound like jesusland in a way or am i crazy??/ anyway the violin viola whatever at the end is pretty, Ben whens the drum n bass song coming out

Happy clapper (bonus track:

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs hollie said this was straight out of 2009 AND I LIKE THAT! Meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow I LOVE THIS ONEEEE WHY IS THIS A BONUS TRACK IT'S EXACTLY WHAT I NEED AND LOVE ABOUT BEN :-D THIS MIGHT BE MY FAVE SONG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Kinda reminds me of michael praytor (or maybe the word bumming is just forever tied to “bumming out on the the ninety FIVE”)

Why did you tell me everything:

Eh. it'll grow on me

A million years or so :

Basically this albums the luckiest. It's cute :-)

THOUGHTS AFTER 1st LISTEN:

This is definitely one of the ben albums that grows on you and then you can fully appreciate it, like silverman or reinhold. I think it's good! There are some great songs and I love the inclusion of more brass and string instruments, a nice change from his usual piano bass and drums. 

He said this was an album that he couldn't have made at any other time in his career and i agree, it's a nice mix of elements from silverman, so there, and a newish sound that i can't really describe. I feel bad because I'm like 3 months deep in the hardcore ben folds obsession (thanks neurodivergent brain) and i'm not like, losing my shit over every song on the album unlike his other albums like bf5 self titled, whatever and ever amen, and rockin the suburbs. But i know i'll grow to appreciate it and this is a pretty good closure to ben's career as a pop song writer, who knows maybe he will write the next hamilton and take the world by storm after this.

[sophsun1]

Ooofff, I went through those con recaps because to put it in a nice way: I’m a slut for any type of qaf info especially from cons since they’re so rare. And it’s always fun reading about what the actors are/were like. But like reading the recaps about 2012 Cologne, it reminded me that I love this cast so much but Hal I’m ehhh about. Like there was a part where he in M&G discussed how he thinks Mikey was also in some way bashed or something similar to Justin which okay, whatever, i have my opinions on that and he has his which is cool. But like reading about how he spoke over his costars/Randy at a panel and answered a question that was literally targeted at the gay actors about being gay and he talked about his gay friends. Then I’m suddenly kinda happy that I missed SOME conventions because that made my secondhand embarrassment go through the roof. But them reading other con recaps makes me hope that they somehow bring a convention back to life.

Give me Randy and Gale!! And give me Peter because he’s always the life of a party! And now after hearing how Randy is on his podcast, I feel like now he would be completely different at a con (to some degree).

Hey anon!

Yeah, it was fun to read about people's experiences as it's not very realistic that any will take place nowadays, which is a shame :(

The fandom does seem to be less than enthused shall we say about Hal. From what I've seen he is very extroverted and likes to be the centre of attention and would play up to that in interviews, you do you, whereas Gale/Randy are notoriously private. He wasn't particularly close to them and has said some questionable things about the on set experiences and has quite strong opinions. I think he just wasn't a lot of qaf fans cup of tea.

Everyone has their faves, for me Randy is pure sunshine and wickedly funny. Gale is wonderfully strange, I wanna study him under a microscope, his thought process fascinates me no end.

I will say though I have no clue what he means when he says Michael was bashed as he literally never was??

I have suffered through watching a con or two to get Gale/Randy content and almost didn't make it out alive, I literally wanted to die at some of the questions. My god, they would never get away with asking those things these days, which is the plus side to if they ever held another because I would hope people would ask more intelligent, thoughtful ones. I think Gale and Randy struggled a lot because essentially they were the most popular characters on the show and their own personal opinions didn't always tie in with the fans interpretations so they would then get upset. Alongside the intense attention which was difficult to cope with. But I think they would definitely be more prepared and relaxed should they do it again. I personally loved Randy being blunt as fuck, as he's entitled to his opinion too and I don't take it as seriously as some fans do!

My dream lineup would be the one that got cancelled lmao as Gale, Scott, Peter and Randy all were close and got on off set, so it would've be a riot for sure!

[oceanwithinsblog]

ok nobody asked for this but let me present you

✨my personal evaluation of each eurovision 2023 entry✨

where should i begin? i've decided to quickly comment this year's participating songs !! these are all personal opinions so don't take them too seriously ! hope you enjoy this sh!tpost of mine and, most importantly, happy eurovision grand finale day to all those who celebrate !! 💙💛

a quick legend: ❌ = song i don't like | ✅ = song i enjoy | ♾️ = song i have on loop (and is therefore among my faves)

as for the order of the songs, i'm using the eurovision 2023 playlist on spotify ^^

tell me more (turalturanx) ✅

this song is very simple and cute imo, still i'm not surprised it didn't make it to the final

aijā (sudden lights) ✅

this song is soooo good once you listen to it a couple times !! they were robbed, i really wished for them to qualify :((

we are one (wild youth) ❌

honestly? no. this doesn't quite do it for me. plus their staging was pretty awful during the 1st semi so yeah ... hopefully ireland will do better next year !

dance (our own party) (the busker) ✅

can i be totally honest ???? I DO NOT UDNERSTAND HOW IN THE EUROVISION THEY DIDN'T GET THROUGH THE FIRST SEMI I WAS AND STILL AM IN AWE WTH i have to admit the song didn't really catch my attention the first time i listened to it on spotify, but the performance they did on tuesday night left me speechless. so much fun ! so much color ! so much dinamicity ! plus those references to michael jackson the king of pop ! not my fave entry but they deserved to take part to the finale imo :(<3

burning daylight (mia nicolai, dion cooper) ✅

this song is actually pretty good to hear on earphones (on spotify), the chorus got stuck into my mind for days lol but after watching their performance i do agree with the televote - the live singing wasn't really nice. unrelated but the netherlands should try singing in their native language more often at eurovision !!!

like an animal (piqued jacks) ❌

i'm sorry fellow italian compatriots but i don't vibe with this song ... you tried and did your best on the thursday night tho !! kudos to you and good luck for your future ^^

d.g.t. (off and on) (theodor andrei) ❌

romania ... what happened to you ... don't tell me that hola mi bebebe was your peak at eurovision .... i don't wanna believe it .... but this whole song and performance really isn't it ... deeply unsettling for me

what they say (victor vernicos) ❌

greece ! i don't really know what to say about this, the guy has a nice voice but the song just doesn't work for me. i'm sad he didn't qualify 'cause he was very excited (and you could easily see it during his performance) but i think it didn't qualify for the best..

breaking my heart (riley) ✅

might come off as a surprise but i do enjoy listening to this song from time to time (on spotify) ! this boy is a personification of tiktok and that scares me ngl but i think the song itself is catchy. surely not suited for eurovision tho. the live version of breaking my heart loses all its catchiness but it's ok he tried

echo (iru) ✅

WHAT ! A ! VOICE ! iru's tone is so powerful and beautiful to listen to !! too bad i can't understand a word she is singing :// i was actually rooting for her to qualify on thursday but apparently european are deaf lol

power (diljá) ✅

i genuinely like the song and i think she has a great voice ! the performance at the second semi wasn't even close to one worth of qualification tho :( she was left alone on the stage and it felt pretty empty imo :( she's the cutest tho <3

mama šč! (let 3) ✅

OH MY LORD !!!!!! THIS IS MADNESS !!! THIS IS EUROVISION !!! HEAVILY POLITICAL LYRICS FIREWORKS COLORFUL CLOTHES THOUSANDS LIGHTS SCREAMING TRACTORS SILLY COSTUMES HIGH HEELS HEAVY MAKE-UP ROCKETS GO CROATIA FEED US

ps. i wrote that i enjoy the song - which i do - but i never listen to it on spotify honestly

blood & glitter (lord of the lost) ✅

germany has finally submitted a good entry !! love the alt rock vibes !! still no idea what the live performance looks like but i feel pretty good knowing these guys have a lot of fun on stage ^^

bridges (alika) ✅ ♾️

she's like a goddess ... vocals are super on point !! i'm kinda rooting for her, the staging is very nice, simple and neat. love the details !! go estonia !!

because of you (gustaph) ✅ ♾️

OMG PLEASE I'M LOVING THIS !! the live performance is even better than the studio version imo; the stage presence, the '90s vibes, the VOGUEING, the back up vocals, the dancer EVERYTHING IS SO ON POINT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT totally my cup of tea <3 GO BELGIUM !!!

eaea (blanca paloma) ✅

it took me a few listens to really get the vibes and the lyrics, but i have to say i love this entry ! most importantly i love that spain is always doing spain ! vamos blanca ! love the union of traditional and modern elements into this, i hope it does well in the final ^^

break a broken heart (andrew lambrou) ❌

big no for me. any straight man singing about heartbreak is a big no for me. we don't care. ok, yk, you have a nice voice mr. lambrou, i'll give you that, but you shouldn't have gotten to the final imo. no hard feelings. plus wearing a tuxedo and singing on stage shoeless ??? ugh.

promise (voyager) ✅ ♾️

hell yeah !! aussies doing rock'n'roll and showing up on stage in a random car are also my thing !! they understood the assignment and i'm glad they did. can't wait to watch their performance again tonight !! kinda rooting for them ^^

ai coração (mimicat) ✅

again, kudos to portugal for always being portugal and bringing such gems to eurovision. i like this one. i don't listen to it often, but i for sure enjoy it when i do ! wishing her the best for tonight's finale !!

samo mi se spava (luke black) ✅

it took me a while to appreciate this song ngl ... luke gives an incredible performance on stage tbh, i'm happy he qualified for the final. plus singing in your native language and naming yourself after the dead serbian music panorama are big reasons to give you bonus points. slay king !!

due vite (marco mengoni) ✅ ♾️

i might be biased (i'm italian after all) but i love this song. i relate to this song. a lot. marco's voice is sublime imo, i'm so very glad he is representing our country in liverpool. <3 tbh i actually can't wait to see what he prepared for the finale !!!! i have really high expectations but i know he's gonna leave me awestruck <3 vai marchettooooo <3

stay (monika linkyte) ✅ ♾️

my lithuanian queen !!!!!!! love the song ! love the live vocals ! love the lyrics ! love the orange themed performance ! love the interactions with the back up singers ! totally 10/10 for me. sending her a big hug !

duje (albina and kelmendi familja) ❌

i don't know how to feel about this song. i personally don't get the hype. it's very albanian and very traditional and i appreciate it a lot, but i can't quite come to like the final product :(

watergun (remo forrer) ❌

sort of the same scenario 've already described for greece, he's got a nice voice but the song isn't right. plus it's a bit funny to hear a swiss guy saying he doesn't want to be a soldier ....

solo (blanka) ❌

poland is another big no, rigged. rigged. rigged. if anybody asks me, poland didn't participate to eurovision in 2023. shoutout to jann, i hope you're having a wonderful day <3

carpe diem (joker out) ❌

very much appreciating their outfit and vitality and sort of silly joyous queer vibes, but i personally can't come to like the song. still, i'm glad they made it to the final ^^

soarele si luna (pasha parfeni) ✅ ♾️

moldova has me clapping and singing and dancing and trying to learn how to play the flute. 10/10 chef's kiss. constantly on loop. great job pasha and friends, i'm partially rooting for you tonight !!

future lover (brunette) ✅

very interesting song, from the lyrics to the musical structure, from the outfit to the staging. brunette's voice is lovely. i wish she had sung the entire song in armenian, but still - it's good!

unicorn (noa kirel) ❌

a total ... skip for me ! shouldn't have qualified for the final ! and as i keep saying for years, israel shouldn't be allowed to participate to eurovision anymore ! good bye.

my sister's crown (vesna) ✅

the song is great, the message is nice (if i understood it correctly) but the whole pink outfits don't match any element of the performance. still, a nice entry for czechia !

[alaskassweetdump]

New Music Roundup

It's been a minute since I've told ya'll about the new music (that comes out every Friday)! I've been slacking on my duties as hype woman, please forgive me.

Here are the new tunes that I have been LOVING these last few weeks:

WOO - Denzel Curry ft. PlayThatBoiZay & Chief Pound :

Denzel Curry has yet to drop a song that I dislike. Watching his star status grow to shine brighter each day has been my favorite thing in music right now.

Re: This Is Why - Paramore & Friends:

Paramore has been one of my most favorite bands ever since I was around 12/13 years old. When they tour, I make it a priority to see them. I enjoyed attempting to crack the clues they fed us to prepare us for this excellent album!

My faves are: This Is Why - Foals, Running Out of Time - Panda Bear, C'est Comme Ca - Wet Leg, Figure 8 - Bartees Strange (this person has the most delightful voice, new fan here), Thick Skull - Julien Baker, and lastly Sanity (Demo) - Paramore.

It's been a true thrill growing up with this band. They forever speak to my soul.

Dance With Me- blink-182:

blink-182 is also one of my most favorite bands. I remember the first time I ever saw/heard them. I was in first grade, at the neighbor's playing with my friend in his brother's bedroom. MTV was on. What's My Age Again? came on. I looked over and saw three grown men running around naked, with only socks. As a first grader, I thought it was so silly. That's the day I decided blink-182 is or me.

When blink-182 went on hiatus years ago, I called my mom AT WORK, to tell her of my devastation. Now, in 2023, I was able to see them as they were always meant to be, Tom, Mark, and Travis. I am so excited for their new album together! I could speak endlessly about my love for them. Their new songs are full of nostalgia. Chef's kiss!

Modern Girl- Bleachers:

Jack Antonoff really gives his entire self to his music, or any project for that matter. With Modern Girl, Jack is giving Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire combined with the feel of Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band. excellent work, Mr. Antonoff. I will be dancing to this is my car forever.

Scarlet - Doja Cat:

This entire album is gold, in my opinion. Doja Cat put her whole pussy into this. The entire album has this 90's hip hop/R&B feel that I am obsessed with. Also, when I saw her VM performance, I immediately added her to my Must See Live list. She is a PERFORMER!

Faves: Paint the Town Red, Demons, Agora Hills, & Can't Wait.

Pacer - Doechiii:

GUYS! If you're not listening to Doechiii yet, you need to correct that real quick. Doechii is another artist that I am loving to watch grow. Her features and her own music constantly slaps. She and Rico Nasty would tear a crowd UP! You can find Doechiii at a Jingle Ball date near you!

A N X I E T Y- Sleepy Hallow ft. Doechii:

What was that I just said about Doechiii's features? THEY SLAP! I had not heard of Sleepy Hallow until recently. Very happy with this discovery. He also has a song out titled ADHD. We sure do love an artist who is open about their struggles, especially struggles that are relatable af!

Assets - KeKe Palmer:

Do I really need to explain this one? IT IS KEKE PAMER, BABY!

Born for Loving You - Big Thief:

I discovered Big Thief a few New Music Fridays ago and immediately downloaded their entire discography. The melodies and their voice is so elegant. Instant obsession with these folks.

Never Die - Nas ft. Lil' Wayne:

Nas is back dropping hits for us all to enjoy. Also, Lil' Wayne's feature is hella Weezy. Love to see him still have that power.

Fan - Offset:

Offset blessed us with his new single, Fan. The music video was inspired by Offset's love & respect for Michael Jackson. The album cover also features Offset dressed in a black suit, much like Michael wore. The new album, Set It Off, drops this year. I truly can't wait to hear what else Offset has for us all. He really seems to be on his best bullshit in the studio and out! Most anticipated album for me!

Tonight at 12pm, New Music Friday brings us new tunes. I promise I won't wait this long to give my thoughts on the drops again.

I hope you found something you like!

[littleoanh]

Hi Little One! I really love your series It Started With a Smile. Fave of all time! You are great at writing I feel like I’m Y/N damn girl you’re soooooo good at this. We gonna hype you more more more!!!

If you have time (i know you have a lot of request bec ur such a good writer), may I request for a supposed to be date night out with Ran but when he saw Y/N looking sooo good with her dress he decided to just stay home and have her all by himself in all possible ways because she’s only for Ran’s to devour!

Thank you and got nothing but love for you ❤️‍🔥

A/N: Hello anon!! Makes me happy to hear you call me ‘Little One’ 🤗. Thank you so much for your kind words. It Started with a Smile will always hold dearly in my heart ❤️ and hearing you say that makes me happy :). Your request instinctively gave me a bit of Michael Buble vibes. I hope you enjoy this!

Wonderful Tonight

Characters: Ran Haitani x fem!Reader

Warnings: Cursing and smut (cock throbs, sexual thoughts, kissing, fingering, a bit humiliation, oral sex/blowjob, playing with balls, face fucking, unprotected vaginal sex, Ran calling reader ‘Good girl’, ‘Baby’, and ‘Pretty girl’, mirror sex, creaming, squirting, creampie, and mention of breeding)

Special Thanks: To EB for proofreading and beta reading as always!

Like, reblogging, and kind comments are appreciated.

It’s your date night, Ran’s lilac eyes follow your movements while you are getting ready for the evening. You are surveying through your dresses in the walk in closet, wondering what kind of formal dress you should wear tonight. Are you feeling red? Purple? Blue? Or a black dress? Ran watches you debate between two dresses. He hopes you would pick the long, dark red satin dress with a deep V neckline, slits up to the waist with the open back. Like a mind reader, that’s the one you chose. 

Your long flowy dress dances across the room when you saunter your way to the bathroom. You pull out your makeup bag from the drawer, you put on your primer and then apply your foundation. Ran never understood why you need foundation when he finds your skin flawless. He continues to stare when you put on your eyeliner and mascara. His lips slowly turn into a smirk. He loves it when you wear eye makeup. You look so beautiful when it’s running down your face when he’s having sex with you. 

His cock throbs in his trousers, remembering the last time he had your eyeliner and mascara running. It’s so erotic to him, like he’s fucking you right. Next, he observes you put on your favorite lipstick. When the lipstick smudges and leaves that colored ring around his shaft… His trousers tents higher at the thought. He lets out a small groan, adjusting himself. Lastly, you brush your hair and style it. The way you care for your hair is so attentive, it’s attractive. You spray his favorite perfume on yourself. Stepping back, you check yourself out. Slowly you turn to him, knowing he has been there the entire time watching you.

“Do I look alright?”  Ran’s downturned eyes scan from your beautiful face down to your sexy legs. Gorgeous, he approaches you like a predator. His tall stature towers over you. He grips your hips to lift you and place you on the counter. “Ah, Ran! What-?”

“You look wonderful tonight, darling.” Ran’s deep voice strikes you to your core. You love hearing the hunger in his voice. “In fact, I could devour you this instant.” He kisses your lips, passionately. Ran always enjoy the way your lips feel so soft and warm. You part your lips, giving him room to slip in his tongue. His tongue dances with yours as your bodies presses together. He trails his kisses down to the side of your neck, moving your dress off to the side and feeling your clothed pussy. 

“Mmmm… Rannn, we have dinner reservations.” You remind him while Ran pulls your panties aside and sinks two fingers in. You moan, your body clenching around his digits. He whips his cell phone out of his pocket and makes a phone call.

“Try to stay quiet, sweetheart.” He instructs you as he slowly pumps his fingers in and out of your cunt, “No one deserves to hear your pretty moans except for me.” The caller picks up.

“Hello, this is XX. How may I help you?”

“Hello, this is Ran Haitani. I’ve made reservations for two and we won’t be able to make it.” Ran purposely makes wet lewd sounds, you cover your mouth to prevent from moaning. Oh no, we can’t have that. Ran’s sadistic smile broadens, pumping his fingers faster.

“Hmpf!”

“Did you say something else, sir?” Ran chuckles darkly, your face is red from embarrassment. He enjoys humiliating you a bit to arouse you. You may not realize it but he knows this is one of your kinks.

“Yes, I want to reschedule for tomorrow night instead.” He rips your panties, making you accidentally mewl. There is a momentarily pause before the person speaks again.

“Yes, sir. Let me change your reservation. Please wait one moment.” 

“Take your time.” Ran kneels down, throwing the front split of your satin dress to the side. He removes his fingers, making you whimper from the emptiness. His warm tongue takes a long and slow stride up your slit. You clutch the counter, shivering hard.

“Ran, wait-” You try whispering for him to pause but he shoves his two fingers in your mouth for you to taste yourself and to stay quiet like a good girl. Ran laps up your juices and sucks your clit, teasingly. He groans, the vibration of his lips on you, shots up and down your spine. You are a drooling mess for him, making it harder for you to keep quiet. 

“I have changed your reservations, is there anything I can help you with?” Your eyes are pleading for him to be done on the phone. You lick his fingers seductively, making his hand wet from your saliva. He’s teased you long enough.

“That’s all, thank you.” Ran hangs up the phone and sets it off to the side. Without having to look at you, he knows you want more. He removes his fingers from your mouth and sinks them into your soaking hole. Your leaking pussy juices mix with your saliva makes his cock ache. He enthusiastically slurps your clit and pumps his fingers faster.

“Ah, yes!” You grip his short purple and black locks and hump his fingers like a bitch in heat. “S’close, s’close!” Ran easily adds a third finger, you moan beautifully. He wants more of your delicious honey. Ran spreads your leg wider, giving him more access to your yummy goodness. You are creaming so much on his fingers that little squirts of it are coming out. “Ran, Ran, Rannnn.” You chant his name like a prayer, your velvet walls are squeezing his fingers. He can feel you are about to burst. Ran answers your prayer by sucking on your clit HARD and moving his fingers hitting your spongy spot that you love. “FUCK FUCK FUCK!” You squirt into his fingers, drenching his neck and shirt.

“That’s a good girl.” He kisses your clit a few times, making your legs twitch. “What a good girl.” He removes his fingers from your wet entrance, making you whine. Ran stands back up, signaling for you to get on your knees this time. You weakly hop off the bathroom counter, dropping on your knees and unbuttoning his pants. “So eager.” He chuckles darkly. “Want my cock that badly?”

You pull his well endowed cock from his boxer’s flap, wasting no time to suck on his balls while stroking his impressive length. Ran loves how soft your hand is, rubbing his hard on sensually. His tip is wet from pre-cum, using your thumb to spread across his head. “Fuck baby, just like that. You love sucking on my balls, don’t you?” You answer by sucking his nutsack hard, earning a loud moan from Ran’s lips. Your tongue strategically licks the underside of his balls as you continuously suck. You release him, spit connecting from your lips to his balls. 

You need to suck his thick cock. Your body aches for it. You drool on his tip before sucking and licking his sensitive tip. Your soft hands stroking his length in a rhythm, the sound of you sucking and moaning turns him on even more. Then you swallow his cock whole with ease, just the way Ran likes it. He loves feeling the back of your throat squeezing his dick and how you don’t have a gag reflex. Ran grips your hair to fuck your throat roughly, knowing that you can handle it. You slack your jaw and look up at him, knowing it drives Ran insane when you keep eye contact. The look of you with globs of spit running down from your mouth and your mascara running is like a masterpiece.

“You are stunning.” He smirks, continuously pressing your nose against his boxer. “I need you to see it.” He releases your throat, pulls you up, and pushes you over the counter to face the mirror. “See how beautiful you look?” Ran asks while pressing his cheek against yours, staring into the mirror. Your mascara and eyeliner is a mess, lipstick is smudging all over your mouth, and your hair is in disarray. “Fuckin perfect.”

Ran bunches your dress up, revealing your plush ass and he spanks it hard with his free hand. He loves the way it bounces each time he smacks it, it’s erotic and sexy. Your ass cheeks are getting redder by the minute and there is an outline of his handprint. He grabs his cock and plunges into your tight, wet pussy, letting out a deep guttural groan. You moan in pleasure, arching your back for more.

“Fuccck baby, always so tight on my cock.” He slowly pulls out then bottoms out, making you feel full of his fat dick. “No matter how many times I take you,” Ran picks up the speed, “you are always tight.” He lifts your right leg to place it on the counter to fuck you in your deeper parts that you didn’t think was possible.

“Oh FUCK, RAN!!” You cry out his name, feeling yourself about to cum again, “I’m about ta cum, I’m about ta cum, I’m goin’ to cum again!” Ran’s free hand reaches out to rub your engorged clit, just the way you like it and increases his pace. The sound of skin slapping and wetness fills the air. “FUCCK!” You gush out liquid uncontrollably. Wetting the counter, the floor, and Ran’s trousers. 

“That’s it, pretty girl.” Ran praises you, still pumping his cock in and out slowly but deep. “Think you can cum for me again?” Your legs are shaking from the intensity.

“Too-too sensitive.” His lips break into a devious smile.

“Perfect, you can give me another one.” Ran increases the speed of his thrusts, you feel it coming again. You are whimpering and drooling from the sensitivity. “Your walls are hugging my cock so tightly. Are you going to cum again, darling?”

“Ye-yes!” 

“Good, I’m about to cum too. Let’s cum together.” Ran chasing his orgasm, jackhammering your pussy and letting out breathy moans. Seeing how fucked out you look, makes him cum thick ropes into your gummy walls and groans. The feeling of his hot cum inside you, sets you off and squirts out his cum along with your juices. He snickers, “What a bad girl for rejecting my cum.” 

You glance down to find your pussy juices mixing with Ran’s cum. “Sorry… it felt too good.”

“Hmmm… but I wanted you to keep it inside.” His smile widens, “Guess I will have to keep breeding this pussy until you learn how to keep it there. Or else,” Ran leans in to talk huskily into your ear, “I’ll make you lick it up from the floor.”  

“I-I’ll keep it in!” 

“Good, let’s try it again.” 

[End]

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[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by @sorrybutblog

Happy happy birthday iota! Today we celebrate two of my favourite fandom people, the power that you guys hold 😌 This list was supposed to be published later on in the series but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to scream again about your wonderful work. It’s been lovely to share this fandom space with you, and to get to know you better in the last few months. I’ve been in love with your fics ever since I read Waiting for that Feeling and now I finally get to share a proper reclist with your hidden gems!

I’ve told you this before but the first word that comes to mind when I think of your writing is “refreshing”. Your characters are a charming mix of open and tentative, a bit bold and a bit shy, and I can never guess what they’re doing or saying next, which is really exciting because it keeps me engaged at all times. I love how your Harry and Draco have such unique and interesting personalities; considering so many authors focus on Draco’s POV, your Harry has quickly become one of the most captivating takes I’ve seen on him lately.

Whenever I’m reading a iota fic I’m surprised by an unexpected joke that makes me snort out loud, or a subtle confession that makes me take a deep breath and go back to reread that line a few times. I love your brand of slice-of-life, light and fun but also contemplative and so so sexy (honestly, I haven’t seen someone make T and M content this sexy in a long time!) with low key angst, clever humor, engaging dialogue and A+ purposeful flirting. Your delicious UST and fab sense of humour got me immediately obsessed with both Heartlines and A Truth - I remember thinking “Wow iota has such a cool VIBE and I love it!”. Being in such a big fandom surrounded by many talented authors, I think it’s impressive that you found a strong, unique voice and are able to come up with original ways to approach these characters and tropes.

I’m always excited when I see you’ve posted a new fic because I know it’s gonna be a lovely treat perfectly crafted to meet my tastes. My picks probably aren’t a surprise to anyone - least of all iota 😂 - as I’ve been praising these gems for a while now. These are my 7 favorites but everyone should also go check her drabble collection. May I suggest Ephemera, Curiosity and Blue as a starting point? You’re welcome. Happy birthday my darling, I wish you all the nicest things and a lovely day! It’s a privilege to share this fandom with you :)

Eavesdrop (2021, T, 1k) - technically a microfic but I like it so much I wanted to include a small review. I love this concept and how iota gives them so much character here, jealous Harry is so hot! They come together nice and easy, and the hopeful ending left me wanting all the 8th year sneaking around (sorry, Michael!)

The walls at the Leaky Cauldron were paper thin. Harry knew this because he could hear Malfoy next door.

Market Saturdays (2021, M, 3.2k) - you know what they say, market romance is peak romance!!! This domestic fluff is everything I didn’t know I needed, I’ve read this fic multiple times and it never fails to make my heart ache with sweet tenderness for them. This gentle short story will cleanse your skin and cure your anxiety, results guaranteed or your money back 👌🏼

In which Harry is an accidental part-time cheesemonger, Draco is an organic farmer and they fall in love. Not an AU.

Waiting for that Feeling (2021, T, 3.8k) - road trip my beloved! This is a breathtaking and immersive friends to lovers tale with light angst, a perfect Ronald Weasley and soft contemplative vibes. It was my very first iota fic and it became an instant fave, I’ll always have a special spot for it inside my heart.

Draco Malfoy has a car and Harry Potter is on the case! Featuring Muggle car repair, a road trip to Cornwall, and falling in love in a Ford Fiesta. Read my rec here.

Postcards From Italy (2021, E, 6k) - the CMBYN AU we deserve! This fic combines delicious summery vibes with the gorgeous Italian aesthetique and a sexy, organic and quite charming acquaintances-to-lovers get together. I wanna live inside this pool party/nightclub/bathtub perfect universe, please and thank!

A pool party, a nightclub, a bathtub. Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expected to run into the summer before his third year of university, but he's not complaining (at least not anymore).

Not Nineteen Forever (2022, E, 6k) - I still can’t believe this wonderful de-aging goodness was written for Liv day! This is a perfect Auror partners romance with the BEST sassy 19yo Draco, pining Harry, sweet friends to lovers with adorable flirting and a nod to Daddy kink 😳 basically everything I love in one place, sweet and clever and smutty as all lovely things iota creates.

A rogue charm hits on a mission and suddenly, Draco is nineteen again. Harry is still thirty-five and doing his best to look after his de-aged Auror partner (and forget about his long unrequited crush) until St. Mungo’s can brew the antidote. Only, Draco insists on wandering around Harry’s flat wearing nothing but Harry’s pants, flirting like his life depends on it and in the end, Harry’s only human after all. Read my rec here.

A Truth Universally Acknowledged (2021, M, 17k) - the ultimate P&P-inspired Drarry with perfect enemies to fuck buddies to friends (and lovers). Harry’s voice and want for Draco! The urgent sneaking around! The countryside romance! This fic is so so good it left me a bit incoherent, please expect a proper rec as soon as I stop screaming about this.

A year out from the war, Harry agrees to accompany Hermione on a historical walking tour of Pride and Prejudice. Not in the itinerary: running into Draco Malfoy, setting off a summer of stately homes, lavish parties, resentful shagging, and maybe, falling in love.

Heartlines (2022, T, 22k) - my favorite Cluefest this year, excellent and intriguing case fic with sentient Houses, competent Auror!Harry, surprising and brilliant sense of humour, delicious slow burn with clever dialogue and tons of UST! This fic is sexy, mysterious, funny and charming all at once, definitely a must read.

Just as Draco Malfoy's life seems to be getting back on track, the magic at Malfoy Manor is spinning out of control. Auror partners Harry Potter and Angelina Johnson are assigned to the case and quickly find that nothing about the situation is obvious. The flare ups are unpredictable at best, downright dangerous at worst, and why has a Hogwarts first year gone missing at the same time? Read my rec here.

[ominoose]

Hey omi, can I request platonic slasher hcs for how they would react to being asked for a back massage or how they would do it?? If it’s weird you don’t gotta but my back is so stiff and in pain lately 😭😭😭

Characters: Thomas Hewitt, Michael Myers, Bubba Sawyer, Ghostface It's not a weird request at all hun, sorry about your back :( Have you tried doing any stretches to help? Btw, I just used a spinny wheel of slashers I know to pick which ones to use, if I missed one of your faves lmk <3 Hope you enjoy the read!

𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭

Thomas genuinely knows a few things about back massages. Having had a huge growth spurt in his youth, Luda Mae often had to give the poor, slouched boy some much needed back help, a favour he would return when both had grown older.

When you approach him for a back massage he’s quite surprised, but happy you trust him with it. He’ll lead you towards a chair in the kitchen while he quickly wipes his hand on a stray dish towel, not wanting to dirty your clothing. If the weather’s hot enough, he’ll pour you a nice glass of iced sweet tea too while he gets to work.

He starts with your shoulders, making an effort to be overly gentle with you, and kneads the back of his palm into your shoulder blades slowly, moving his hands in circles and using his thumb to push towards your neck. As he gets into it he’ll use a bit more force with you, no longer afraid he might accidentally crush you, so the massage only gets more and more relaxing.

If he’s satisfied that your shoulders aren’t too tense anymore, he’ll move below your shoulder blades. Thomas is a true gentleman and won’t go further, making an effort to keep his hand above the small of your back (which is a tad difficult given the size of his hands). He’ll keep with the circular motions, mostly using his thumb here to work at your spine.

The massage won’t be a quick one, if he’s going to do the job he’ll do it right and make sure you’re fully relaxed and walking away feeling as light as a feather. Thomas will probably check up on you over the course of the day, lightly squeezing your shoulder and making sure you’re not in any pain. If you need another massage at any point, he is more than happy to lend two hands.

𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐲𝐞𝐫𝐬

Michael isn’t really sure what a back massage is. When you explain to him what it is, he isn’t really sure why he needs to give you one. This will take a lot of coaxing from your end, you might even need to exaggerate about the condition of your back and use a lot of whining before he gives in.

He won’t bother sitting you down, he’ll spin you around and stare at your back. Again, you’ll need to try giving a few tips, but in the end, Michael will settle for karate chopping your back. To an extent, it does work, but the force of it will nearly topple you over. When he sees this he’ll hold back a little, mostly annoyed that he has to keep pulling you upright. His technique will fluctuate, but when he hears a happy sigh from you, he’ll be more consistent on what he was doing.

You’ll be stood there for a good ten minutes, Michael simply going until you tell him to stop. If you ask him to try rubbing your shoulders instead, it’ll be another case of too much force with too much thumb. At this point he’s grown grumpy at being told what to do and stops massaging.

Before you get a chance to complain, he’ll force your arms in front of your chest, hug you from behind and squeeze hard enough to lift your feet from the floor. You almost won’t be able to breathe, but the popping from your spine leaves you nearly gasping.

When he drops you, watching you nearly topple to the floor, he’ll tilt his head curiously. Admittedly your spine will feel brand new after his unorthodox method. As you twist and stretch while thanking him, Michael continues staring, then turns his back on you slowly. He wants a turn now.

𝐁𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐚 𝐒𝐚𝐰𝐲𝐞𝐫

Bubba has no idea how to give a massage, but he is more than happy to try! No one’s asked him for a massage before (except that one time Drayton asked for a foot massage, which he still has nightmares about), and he’s never been given one, so in his eye’s this will be a cool new bonding experience between him and his best friend.

If it’s a nice day outside, he’ll lead you to the porch and sit you on the lowest step between his legs, carefully brushing your hair away and patting your back in anticipation.

At first, you’ll be grimacing, Bubba is very enthusiastic about trying to help you, so when he grabs your shoulders and squeezes hard, the pain is just made worse. You’ll need to let him know to be a bit less forceful, and share a few pointers with him on what to do. There will be a lot of trial and error, but when he picks it up surprisingly quickly, it is well worth it.

Now when he squeezes your shoulder it’s a lot better, pulling them up and down properly while he rubs. As he works, he’ll peek down next to your head every now and again to check on you, still a tad nervous he’s being too rough.

Expect a lot of chatter from him while you’re sitting there. He’ll blether in light tones, volume going up and down in emphasis about whatever is on his mind. In a way, it does relax you more, being able to sit comfortably and casually with the large man.

When he lets go of your shoulders with a satisfied “Hmph!”, he’ll grab you by the sides and squeeze. Bubba doesn’t realise he’s accidentally tickling you until you jump up with a choked laugh and end the massage there. He’ll be disappointed, but when you reassure him that you do actually feel better he’s all smiles again.

He might seek you again over the next few days and give your shoulder a good rub, keeping tabs on your posture and making sure you aren’t slouching. Bubba wants you to feel your best! If you ask him later on for another go, he'll drop whatever he's doing and make helping you his priority.

𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞

“This isn’t usually why they say I have killer hands.” He’s caught off guard by the request, but quickly turns cocky. Ghostface considers himself a womanizer, and will boast about his skills and the so-called ‘raving’ reviews he’s gotten for his handiwork. He’ll make sure you know you’re in safe hands, literally. A movie will be put on to set a chilled mood, likely Legally Blonde or a random Adam Sandler film.

You’ll be pushed sideways onto a chair as he rolls up his sleeves and rolls his shoulders, taking the whole thing almost too seriously, but for good reason. He does have killer hands, and works your back in the best way possible, kneading the bottom of his palms perfectly under your shoulder blades, massaging his fingers right at the base of your neck. If he hears even the slightest noise of contentment from you, he won’t hesitate to loudly boast about himself, but for the most part he’s silent.

As cocky as he is, he’ll let you properly enjoy the moment of relaxation and settles himself down as he sets a rhythm for himself.

The massage almost lasts the entire length of the movie before he finally admits his fingers are nearly falling off, reluctant to tell you partially because of his pride, and partially because he knew you’d been having back pains and wanted to do his buddy a favour.

If he catches you slouching over the next week expect a half-hearted scolding about undoing all his “hard, tireless work”. When it’s obvious you’re getting pains again, he’ll pull you back over to the couch and let you know you’re booked in for another “world-famous, all-inclusive back massage massacre.”.

Don't hesitate to ask for another one, his ego will sing and he’ll be more than enthusiastic about the job. Just make sure to sprinkle some compliments in here and there to stop him from getting bored.

[fandom-monium]

i finished for the holidays and i just *chefs kiss* beautiful talented amazing sajkgdkj no words i love that romance wasnt even the main point 🥺💘 anyway i love how you write reader and i wondered between her and spencer who gets jealous???

Unrivaled

Summary: In which you seem pretty close with the new intern, and Spencer is not happy about it. (ft. one of my fave white bois) “Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

WC: 3.6k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, Jealous!Spencer bc id like to see that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, the lightest implication of smut ever, points to yall who can guess who the intern is before reading the end or the tags 😉

—

Spencer is not jealous. He’s not.

Why would he be? 

He has no reason to be jealous, Spencer chants to himself as he sits at his desk. Even from across the bullpen he still manages to hear your voice, and while normally it’s music to his ears, even better than Mozart, now it just feels like nails against a chalkboard. Grating his eardrums, making him wince.

Because you’re laughing. Not with Spencer though. Not at his obscure references or lame jokes.

With the new intern.

Why did Emily have to put you in charge of him? She could’ve chosen anyone on the team to have him shadow, but it had to be you! Not that you’re incapable or unqualified; you’re experienced, talented, and the best person he knows. 

… Okay, he can see why she picked you.

Why do they even have interns? Unnecessary, really, when the BAU has you and him and he guesses the other teams too (it’s weird, he’s never actually interacted with them but whatever). Maybe it’s time to start making budget cuts. He’ll discuss this with Emily when he gets the chance. He’s got some influence, working at the BAU as long as he has.

But he’s not jealous. 

Logically, jealousy (like an intern) is unnecessary. The green-eyed monster (like an intern) is ugly and contributes nothing productive, and if Spencer’s being honest, the world (like an intern) would be much better off without it.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself as he downs his coffee like a shot of whiskey, trying to quell the squirming beast in him. Despite 90% of it being sugar, it still tastes bitter. He sets his mug down with a thud, and it’s loud enough to make Luke, Garcia, and JJ turn their heads, exchanging concerned glances when he slumps back in his chair.

Spencer doesn’t care. The world’s ending; you’re apparently into younger guys, with neat dark hair and forearms that can probably snap someone’s neck, and he can’t do anything about it. What does it matter if his best friends catch him in a sour mood, right?

“Hey, Spence,” JJ's tone is soft as they slink over, Garcia and Luke leaning against the edge of his desk and JJ flanking the other side. “You alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer gazes past them, his eyes never leaving you. He deflates; your stance is relaxed, completely open as you nod at whatever Intern is saying, his hands gesturing spastically. It must be interesting, the way you listen with rapt attention and respond just as enthusiastic.

Spencer scoffs. Not like that’s anything special. You do the same for him. And the rest of the team.

...What the hell are you guys talking about? 

“Well, you look like you’re about to throw your mug across the room. Or at an intern.”

Spencer blinks, finally breaking away from you long enough to eye the ceramic octopus. “That’s a good idea actually.”

“Don’t,” Garcia and JJ both shoot him a warning and he huffs, resting his chin in his hand. Garcia looks horrified, betrayed even while JJ has that expression on, the one she gives when she scolds Henry and Michael.

Whatever. It’s not like he’d ever sacrifice Mildred. Garcia entrusted her to him, after all. 

Unless...?

No, he couldn’t… Maybe.

“You know, Reid, if you’re jealous—”

Spencer snaps his head to Garcia, eyes wide and darting to you like you have super-hearing, “Jealous? Who’s jealous? Not me.” He cringes, his voice octaves higher and cracking like a prepubescent boy.

Garcia snorts, “Okay, sure. But if you are jealous, I was going to say you have no reason to be. You wanna know why?” Spencer raises an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Sure the guy’s smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship at GWU, and he’s top of his class at the academy—”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

"And he’s one of the most good looking guys I've ever met—”

"How is that relevant—"

Luke frowns at her. "And have you met me?"

“My point is,” Garcia’s red lipstick curls into the most reassuring smile, “that you have nothing to worry about because (Your Name) loves you. A lot.” 

Spencer perks up. “You really think so?”

“I know so. I see the way they look at you, and if that’s not love I don’t know what is," She shrugs, "And just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they’re into him.”

There's a collective nod of agreement and Spencer sags in relief. Of course they're right. He knows they are. 

If you think about it, technically, he's got the advantage. You've known each other longer, bonded and shared experiences together good and bad, and you’re emotionally and even physically intimate with each other (something he's especially proud of, considering how long it takes you both to warm up to others).

And who knows? This is probably temporary! Whatever this is, the connection you seem to instantly make with Intern (faster than when you two had met, he realizes with a needle to his heart) is short-term at best. It'll peter out eventually, like most friendships do.

It’s sad, but a cruel fact of life.

(Is this selfish, wishful thinking? Nah.)

They’re right, there is no need to worry, Spencer thinks as a weight lifts off his chest, finally able to breathe. You love him and he loves you and eventually, everything will go back to normal. 

There’s nothing to worry about.

—

The world’s ending.

“It’s really not.”

Yes, it is.

“Doc, come on.”

“Do not ‘Doc’ me,” Spencer grumbles, lifting his head from the comfort of his arms. He grimaces at Luke. “You didn’t see the way they looked at him. The way they talk about him.”

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since you’ve taken Intern under your wing, and he’s had enough. If Hell is real, this is it. For days, he’s tried to resume some form of normalcy, and he was never one to be bold but desperate times call for desperate measures as he asks you out for lunch or invites you out on dates, even stuff he wouldn’t normally do because they’re more your thing. Something, anything to get you away from Intern. But...

At work: “Hey Spence, I'm teaching Intern (menial task that a 4 year old could do). Would you like to help—”

During break: “I’m taking Intern out for lunch. He’s still new to town, and I thought he could use a tour—”

In bed: “Did you know Intern’s a huge fan of Star Wars—”

Snap, and there went his patience.

Intern this, Intern that. 

Spencer could tolerate this at work. At least he’s saving lives, being productive, getting paid. But under his roof? In his bed? 

That was the last straw.

Spencer's not one to wish ill on another, he's not like that. But if something happened to the guy, say, get injured in the field, perhaps from a "stray" bullet, he'd be intern-ally grateful. Heh. 

"Hey, you good?"

Spencer sighs, swiping a hand over his face and turning back to Luke. "Yeah, why?"

Luke waves a hand at his face, eyebrow raised, "For a second there, you kind of had a scary look on your face."

"Did I? Weird."

"Right," Clearly unconvinced, Luke brushes it off, deciding to get to the root of the matter. "As I was saying, I still think you have nothing to worry about. Although, I do think it's a little weird that (Your Name) is talking about Intern as much as you say they are." He offers Spencer a little smile, his hand falling heavy on his shoulder. It's the most comforting touch he's had in two weeks. "I'm not one to talk, but I suggest you speak to them. I'd also be uncomfortable if my partner were talking up someone else."

Spencer blinks, squints at Luke, before gripping his hand and standing up. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

"You can stand to mention it more often," Luke shrugs, eyes crinkling with amusement as Spencer lets go and heads for the door. 

"Noted."

—

Spencer nearly goes feral when he finds you.

Of course you're with him.

He searched the floor like a bloodhound, discovering you've been on your feet almost the entire day, running around the office, up and down the elevators, finishing your work and helping around. You must be exhausted. It's because of this he tracks you to your favorite break room, mostly quiet save for the buzzing drip of the old coffeemaker. He knows you need to be alone sometimes, recharge those social batteries.

So when he bursts into the room like he would hunting an unsub, eyes quickly scanning the immediate space, he expects nothing less but you. What he did not anticipate was to find you, just as soft and pretty as ever under the fluorescent lighting, leaning against the counter and sipping daintily at your favorite mug. 

With Intern standing a little too close to his liking.

“Hey, Spencer,” You chirp as you lower your coffee mug, lips glossy from your drink. Spencer's quick to shake his stupor―he can’t afford to be distracted, but it’s difficult when you’re beaming at him, clearly excited. You nod at the home-wrecker, “Me and Intern here were just talking about demonology and he’s got this interesting theory on werewolves―" Lycanthropy? Are you fucking kidding him right now? 

Just when he thought he couldn't hate the guy any more.

"CanItalktoyou?" It comes out rushed as Spencer gasps between breaths, leaving no room to second guess himself.

"Sure," You blink at his urgent tone.

For a second, you watch him expectantly, and Spencer's gaze darts between you and Intern. "Alone?"

"Oh! Okay. Be gone," You wave Intern off, and when you place a hand on his shoulder, Spencer sees red. Or green in this case.

Intern doesn't resist, but the noise Spencer releases is animalistic because the guy can’t seem to read the room, questioning you as you gently shove him towards the door. "What about the thing―"

"We'll talk about that later."

"But you still need to show me how to―"

"Don't worry, Intern. Just wait for me, I'll show you once the adults are done talking."

"You know at some point you're gonna have to call me by my name." 

"Nah. If we get to call Luke a newbie, we get to call you Intern. Also I do not know how to say your first name."

 "You could just call me St―"

Enough of this. Spencer closes the last stretch of distance, batting your hand away from Intern’s shoulders as he kicks him out himself, slamming the door in his face. Spencer turns on his heel to face you, caging you both. “You―” He pants, chest heaving for air.

“Me?”

“You-him-we―”

You’re unfazed, simply nodding at him and his odd behavior. If anything, you’re enjoying this as your lips twitch in a poor attempt to withhold your amusement, trying to cover it with a slurp of your cup. Then again, it’s not everyday you get to see Spencer, face flushed from exertion, speechless as he gasps for breath.

(At least not at work… In the break room specifically.)

It takes a minute as Spencer swallows a few times, but his heart’s erratic and it’s not just from running through the entire building. When he’s got enough air, he blurts out, “Did I do something?”

Your brow shoots up. “What?”

“Did I forget something important? Upset you in some way?”

“No? I don’t think so?” You frown at him, your answers more like questions. 

It only spurs him on, and though his tone is frantic and his eyes just as wild as his hair, you’re more intrigued than frightened. Definitely confused.

“Okay, but you know I love you, right?”

“Yes and I love you too but Spence, what’s this about?" Setting down your mug, you look at him like he's grown another head.

Spencer sighs, "I just… you…" He frowns, glancing between you, the floor, and the empty space between you. 

Spencer Reid is a man of words. Many, many words, according to all his friends and his coworkers. Mainly knowledge―he's never been great with feelings―but as you gaze at him, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts, he wants to melt into the floor. There's not a hint of annoyance on your features, your eyes warm and inviting. 

He's so in love with you.

Then like scripture the words come, natural without much stuttering or hesitancy. He recounts the last two weeks. The internship so far, the times you've left Spencer behind for him, the times you just talked about him, like the guy (practically a stranger) is your new best friend. Usually, pretty people make him tongue-tied and you do―god, you do―but at the same time only you make it so easy. Talking, expressing without fear of―

"Pfft―"

―Judgement. Pausing mid-sentence, Spencer gawks as your nose twitches and your blink rate increases. You purse your lips, a hand slapped over your mouth as it threatens to break out into a grin.

"Are you-are you laughing right now?" When he just poured his feelings out to you? 

That does it. You keel over, peels of laughter coming like a tsunami, crashing into him and Spencer loves your laugh but not when it's at him. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," you wheeze, gripping your stomach. Spencer pouts. There's even tears in your eyes. "But you're telling me this is all because you're jealous?"

He stutters, "Well-I-no-It’s just…" He wants to say ‘you're mine’, but as your eyes crinkle he knows there’s no need.

"That's kinda hot."

"Wha-really?" Wide-eyed, Spencer squeaks as you step closer to him, backing him into the door. His hands come up to his chest in a kitten-like manner yet at the same time protective―you'd never hurt him and you both know that―but you admit your initial reaction was poor when he laid his feelings bare. 

“Ahhhh Babe, you know there’s no one else for me but you.” Spencer blushes and you chuckle, taking his hands in yours. He let's you. “Also, as adorable as Intern is, one, I think I’d be able to tell if he was hitting on me, and two, he’s not really my type.”

Spencer swallows, “And what exactly is your type?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Looking him up and down, you step closer, enough that your breath puffs against his chin. You smell like cheap coffee. “Tall, handsome doctors with messy, brown hair―” You lightly tug at one of his stray curls and he bites back a smile. 

“―and a cute nose―” Your hand moves to cup his cheek, bringing him down to peck the tip of his nose. It scrunches as Spencer breaks out into giggles. 

“―Who can recite classic literature. Who can bake like he belongs on The Great British Baking Show but can’t cook for shi―”

“Okay! Thank you, I get it,” Spencer says, almost completely relaxed now.

“Good,” You nod with finality. “And for your information, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous."

He raises an eyebrow. "So you just abandoned me and talked about another guy for the hell of it?"

Spencer's tone is casual, joking even but you know better. There's underlying bitterness and hurt and your heart squeezes because you did that. "No, of course not. There is a reason behind all that.“

“What could possibly excuse you going above and beyond your job as a mentor―”

“I was trying to set you guys up.”

Spencer deadpans. “Set me up? With him?” Oh god, he knows you’re weird, but he’s never considered you to be outright insane (is it weird he still loves you?).

As if reading his thoughts, you roll your eyes, “Spencer, how many friends do you have outside the team?”

“Not a lot.” No hesitation, but he accepted the fact a long time ago. 

“Yeah and that’s okay. But if you’d talk to Intern, you’ll find you two have a lot in common. I know he’s younger than us, but he’s a good kid, real smart,” You give him a meaningful look and shrug, “Not like IQ 187 smart but he could definitely hold a conversation with you.”

Spencer murmurs, pulling you in so you're chest to chest, “This entire time, you were really trying to make us friends?”

You nod, your expression a mix of giddiness and hope that makes whatever feelings he felt before, the confusion and―yes, fine―the jealousy, dissolve like sugar in water. Spencer sinks into you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap. Of course you had good intentions. Of course you wanted to do something nice for him.

Fuck, he loves you.

“So… we good?”

Spencer huffs, “I hope you realize how much I suffered the past few weeks.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Then yes, we’re good,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “I appreciate what you were trying to do.”

“And?”

His brow furrows and he pulls back, meeting your eyes. “And what?”

“Will you try to be friends?” You look at him expectantly.

Spencer opens his mouth to answer, a definitive no on his tongue, but then you’re giving him puppy-dog eyes and before he realizes it, “Okay.”

Wait, no. That is not what he meant to say.

“Yeah!” You throw your arms around him, and Spencer can’t stop you, grunting as you basically swing him around like a rag doll. But he finds he doesn’t care when you set him back down because you’re happy, happy for him, grinning ear to ear as you babble, “I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of friends! You guys have so much to talk about, all that nerdy stuff. Maybe even debate! And we could play chess and―”

There’s a knock and you both turn, a voice muffled by the door, “Hey, guys? I don’t want to interrupt in case you’re boning, but you didn’t exactly tell me where to wait for you? God, I hope you guys aren’t boning. Please tell me you’re not boning right now.”

You groan, “No Intern, we’re not boning! Right-uh-go ahead and meet me back at the office, I’ll be right with you.” You turn back to Spencer, sending him an apologetic look. “I will see you later, okay? And since you’ve been such a patient and understanding partner,” You plant him one last kiss before patting his cheek, and his eyes widen as your voice lowers in the way you know drives him crazy, your eyes glinting with mischief, “I’ll make it up to once we get home. Bye, love you!”

Before Spencer can fully register your words, you're out the door, cackling as you leave him to compose himself, his face beet red from running the possibilities. By the time he emerges from the break room, you’re long gone.

“Hi, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer almost snarls, cursing under his breath. Just when he thought the day was getting better. He turns back. 

Intern stands tall, relaxed and shoulders back, black tie loose and cheap white-collar button up slightly wrinkled. No doubt from working hard and following your instructions throughout the day. Spencer respects the work ethic at least. Meanwhile, the younger man eyes him, and he’s certain it’s not from intimidation but with curiosity.

Spencer doesn’t linger on that. He’s used to it, not being intimidating to others.

He continues, “It’s nice to finally talk to you, one on one I mean. I’m a fan of your work. Seven degrees, huh?”

“Yeah,” Spencer says curtly. Recalling the earlier conversation with you, he stamps down his irritation and tries to extend an olive branch. “How did you know?”

“It’s the internet, sir,” Intern raises an eyebrow, offering an innocent smile. 

“Right,” Spencer returns it with an awkward one of his own, “Hey, sorry for... literally kicking you out before. That was completely unprofessional.”

Intern waves him off, “No, it’s cool. I totally get it. I’m flattered, by the way.”

Spencer frowns. “Flattered?”

“Well, it’s not everyday you find out your superior’s jealous of you.”

Spencer blinks, and it takes all his experience as a profiler to mask his embarrassment. “You heard that.”

“The FBI’s got thin walls,” Intern shrugs and steps towards him. “Although I have to say, Agent (Your Last Name) is wrong about one thing.” Stopping short in front of him, for the first time Spencer is close enough to note the moles dotting his face. “They can’t tell that I’m flirting with them.” 

He starts down the hall after you, and Spencer’s eyes trail after him as his brow furrows, until realization slams into him and his jaw drops. “Wait, you...”

“Oh and since (Your Last Name) wants us to be friends, I think we could be on a first-name basis,” He pauses to look back at Spencer, watching with a crooked smile as the older man sputters. 

“So, you can call me Stiles, sir.”

Then once again, Spencer is left behind, frozen in the hallway as he processes what just happened.

And the next time he finds you and Special Agent Stilinski in the same room, whether it’s crowded or not, Spencer does not hesitate to cling to your side, putting as much distance between the intern and you as he can. Spencer’s grateful you don’t question it.

There may not be anyone else for you, but that doesn’t mean no one will try.

―

AN: ahhhhh thanks anon!! There was a similar request then i saw this tiktok (and listened to this tiktok the entire time) and i combined them. Id also like to emphasize that my version of reader is neutral across the board, race, gender, etc.

Yes, i have a type. No, i will not be taking criticism. 

Been hella overwhelmed with classes and work so here’s my way of destressing. Also suggest checking those tiktoks if you wanna understand me :))) also you mean to tell me i have to write the threesome myself?? Bs tbh 😔

watched 15x4 and i was so sad when Spencer addressed Luke as his coworker like no bitch hes your new bro stfu

and i have no doubt that stiles and spencer would be one of the best crossover duos given the chance 

[homoose]

Teach Me Something I Don’t Know: Part I

Summary: When Will asks him to pick Michael up from school, Spencer may or may not develop a schoolboy crush on the kindergarten teacher.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: none

Word count: 2.5k

a/n: Here she is! I’m not sure exactly what it is about Spencer Reid x teacher!reader, but it is my most requested fic topic, and I am happy to oblige! This is the first in a multi-part series. Weird is Good also takes place in this verse. Any teacher!reader requests will be folded into this verse as well, so feel free to continue sending me those!

Series Masterlist

Click here for the story mentioned, read by everybody’s fave Michelle Obama.

———

“A strong geographical profile is one of the most important pieces of the overall behavioral profile; it significantly narrows the area the team has to cover, allows for law enforcement teams to prioritize and maximize limited resources, and helps focus the investigation in conjunction with the other elements of the profile. And that wraps our section on building geographical profiles!” Spencer smiled at the faces in front of him, gesturing to the board. “The information we covered today will make up a significant portion of your midterm, so make sure to review it before next week. See you all next Thursday!”

As his students began packing up their things, Spencer’s phone rang from inside his bag. When he retrieved the phone and saw Will’s name on the caller ID, his brow furrowed in concern. “Will— everything ok?”

“Hey, yeah, yeah, everything’s fine,” he assured him. “I’m sorry to ask, but JJ’s on a case, and my partner and I just finished our last call clear on the other side of the city. Henry’s got soccer practice, but Michael’s gotta be picked up in about— well, shit, right about now. Would you mind picking him up and bringing him ‘round to the house?”

Spencer looped the strap of his bag over his shoulder and started up the aisle out of the lecture hall. “Yeah, of course! It’s over by the Naval Observatory, right?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. If you pull ‘round the parking lot, they usually come out the side door. His teacher’s real sweet, Ms. Y/L/N. I’ll let her know you’re picking him up.”

“Okay, sounds good.” Spencer pushed open the door and made his way down the hall.

“You’re the best,” Will drawled. “I’ll only be about half an hour.”

…

When Spencer pulled the baby blue Volvo into the parking lot of the school, he saw Michael and Ms. Y/L/N sitting on the steps of school. Their heads were so close they were almost touching, looking down at a book laying across their laps. Her legs were stretched out straight and she pointed down to the page, saying something that made Michael throw his little head back in a laugh that floated in through the open window of the car. Spencer grinned at the familiar sound as he pulled around the carpool loop.

When he recovered from the giggles, Michael caught sight of the car and waved his hand excitedly at Spencer. Ms. Y/L/N looked up and gave a wave as well, albeit a little less vigorous. She closed the book and turned her torso slightly to unzip Michael’s backpack and drop the book into it.

Spencer put the car in park, stepped out, and walked around the car to meet the two of them. Michael was already up and running, throwing himself at Spencer’s legs and hugging them tightly. He leaned down to return the hug. “Hey, buddy! How was school?”

“It was amazing,” Michael gushed, pulling out of the hug to gesture wildly. “We learned how to write the zzz sound, and now we know all the sounds! Oh, and then we used blocks in math, and that was so fun, because Ms. Y/L/N let us build with them when we were done counting. Oh, and then we learned about frogs, and they are so cool. Did you know that frogs have night vision? Oh, and Ms. Y/L/N said I could borrow my favorite book from the classroom library! She read it to me already while we were waiting for you, but maybe you could read it to me, too? I can read some of the words but not all of them yet, so I still need some help.”

Spencer smiled widely at him. “Wow, that does sound like an amazing day. I did know that about frogs, actually! And of course, I’d love to read with you.”

“The book’s called Giraffe Problems, and it’s about this giraffe named Edward who doesn’t like his neck.” Michael looked at Ms. Y/L/N. “What’s the turtle’s name again?”

“Cyrus,” Ms. Y/L/N reminded him.

“Right, Cyrus.” He looked at Spencer. “See, that one is tricky because c’s don’t usually make the sss sound, but sometimes they do. Ms. Y/L/N’s teaching me about it, even though she said it’s kinda hard for kindergarten.”

“Because you’ve got a big, powerful brain, right?” she said, tapping her temple and winking at Michael. “I’m Ms. Y/L/N, by the way. You must be the infamous uncle Spencer. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Then she smiled at him and his big, powerful brain melted inside of his skull.

Michael continued talking, and Spencer briefly wondered if this is how people felt when he rambled. Michael lost his attention immediately, because all he could do was stare at Ms. Y/L/N. Her eyes glinted with humor as he chattered on. She followed his expressive motions with well-timed nods and mhmms, a skill she’d no doubt honed through years of indulging kindergarten babbling. She met Spencer’s eyes every so often, only a slight eyebrow raise indicating her amusement. Her hair had been tied back, but soft pieces had come loose throughout the day, falling into her face and around her shoulders. Up close, he could see that the print of her collared a-line dress was hundreds of green frogs. On her feet were a pair of beat up, low top converse, and Spencer thought he could physically feel the crush branding the chambers of his heart. He was jolted out of his thoughts by Michael’s hand tugging on his pant leg, and he looked down to see him looking up expectantly.

“Sorry, what?” Spencer asked him.

“I said,” Michael repeated with a sigh, “can we look up the author and see if he has any other books?”

“Oh, um, yeah. Of course, buddy.”

“Jory John has lots of amazing books,” Ms. Y/L/N confirmed. “You’ll love the series he wrote with Pete Oswald.” She smiled at the pair of them before checking her watch. “I’ve gotta go pack up, but I’ll see you tomorrow, Michael.” She winked at Spencer, and he almost swallowed his tongue. “It was nice meeting you, uncle Spencer.” She waved again and then turned up the stairs to disappear into the building.

Spencer let out a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding, and then turned to Michael. “Well. All right, are you ready to go home?”

…

They were settled into the car and halfway home before Michael finally needed to take a breath. Spencer capitalized on the break in conversation.

“So, Ms. Y/L/N seems pretty cool,” Spencer hedged.

“Yeah, she’s the best,” Michael confirmed with a nod. “On Fridays she lets us put on the smocks and paint. And she has really good story voices. Oh, and she also has these really cool blocks that stick together—magnet blocks. And when I fell off the jungle gym and got a big scrape, she gave me a Paw Patrol bandaid! And she gives great hugs.”

“Good story voices, huh?” Spencer met Michael’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “Better than mine?”

Michael tilted his head in deep thought. “Hmmmm. It’s pretty close. Your wizard voice is good, but she does accents.”

Spencer blew out a dramatic breath. “Guess I’m going to have to up my game.”

“You’re gonna have to practice a lot, because Ms. Y/L/N reads to us every day.” Michael raised his eyebrows in a challenge.

“Hey!” Spencer looked incredulous. “I read every day, too!”

“Yeah, but do you read with story voices every day?” Michael clarified.

Spencer sighed. “Well, I guess not.”

“It’s okay, uncle Spencer,” Michael soothed. “You can’t be the best at everything.”

“So they are better than mine?”

Michael pressed his lips together, and Spencer almost laughed at how much he looked like JJ. “... maybe.”

…

A trail of shoes and school supplies led to the couch, where Spencer and Michael sat shoulder to shoulder. They were on their second read of Giraffe Problems. Spencer took a long, dramatic breath before launching into Cyrus’ banana speech, and Michael burst into a fit of giggles. With his best theatrical voice, Spencer read down the page. “Yet, day after day, I’ve felt like such a fool as I stretched my neck toward those greedy branches, only to be limited by my own physical shortcomings.” He flipped the page and changed his tone. “You… want a banana from a tree?” He looked at Michael and said, quickly and in a low voice, “That’s what I said, yes.” Michael wheezed out another laugh.

Spencer finished the story, Michael mouthing the words along with him. When they reached the last page, Spencer softly closed the book and propped his feet up on the coffee table. “That’s a pretty great story.”

“Yeah,” Michael agreed. “Ms. Y/L/N said she likes it because it reminds us that we gotta love ourselves and our bodies for how they are.”

Spencer nodded. “Absolutely. We’re all different, and that’s what makes us special.”

“Yeah. I just really like when he’s wearing all the scarves.” Michael burst into another fit of laughter, and Spencer couldn’t help but laugh with him.

The front door opened, and Will was smiling as he stepped over the threshold. “I could hear y’all laughing all the way down the sidewalk.”

“Daddy!” Michael jumped up from the couch, and Will bent to scoop him up, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Hey, kiddo. Sorry I couldn’t pick you up. It sure sounds like you and uncle Spencer had fun, though.” He shot Spencer a wide smile.

“We read Giraffe Problems. Can we read it again later?” Michael asked.

“Sure thing. We can read it before bedtime.” Will set him down, furrowing his brow. “Wait, Giraffe Problems? Is that a new one?”

Michael shook his head. “Ms. Y/L/N let me borrow it from the library. I have to give it back in two weeks.”

“Man, Michael, you really lucked out, huh?” Will posited. “Ms. Y/L/N is so good to you.”

“Jeez, everybody’s saying that today,” Michael sighed. “Yes, Ms. Y/L/N is amazing, we all know this.”

“All right, sass monster. I didn’t know uncle Spencer thought she was amazing, too.” Will grinned. “We gotta go pick up Henry in a few minutes. I’ll get you a snack, and you can pick up your things?” He gestured to the mess of shoes and school supplies in the foyer.

Spencer smiled sheepishly. “That’s probably my fault. We were just so excited to read the book.”

“Ah yeah, I know how he gets.” Will crossed to the kitchen. “A one track mind, that one. Thanks again for picking him up today.”

Spencer stood from the couch and followed, hands stuffed in his pockets. “It’s no problem at all! I can do it any time.”

“Well, I don’t want to bother y—”

“It’s not a bother!” Spencer schooled his voice back into a normal register at Will’s raised eyebrow. “It—It’s not a bother at all. I, um— I have a lot of free time when I’m on sabbatical. Especially since I’m only teaching one course this semester. Plus, I love seeing the boys.”

“I’ll remember that.” Will smiled. “So… Ms. Y/L/N’s amazing, huh?”

Spencer just knew that his cheeks were as red as the apple Will was cutting up. He tried to shrug nonchalantly. “Yeah, she was— she was really nice.”

“She’s not bad looking, either,” Will supplied. When Spencer’s mouth fell open, Will continued, “What? JJ thinks so, too. Don’t tell me you didn’t even look, because I know that’s a lie.”

Spencer sputtered, “I— well, I—”

“Daddy, can we get an ice-cream on the way home?” Michael interrupted, completely unfazed.

Will laughed. “Saved by the bell, uncle Spencer. Yeah, buddy, we can get ice-cream.”

…

“It’s not weird to look her up. I just want to know more about the person who’s educating my godson,” Spencer tried to reassure himself as he pulled up the school’s website. He scrolled to find the teacher pages, a little smile crossing his face when he saw Ms. Y/L/N’s picture— white ruffled shirt, red bow, and black hat. A perfect tribute to Mary Poppins.

He dropped his smile. “She barely said five sentences to you, and you didn’t say anything back.” His eyes wandered over the links on the side, landing on the About Me section. “But she did say she’d heard a lot about you, so it’s only fair that you get to know a little about her.” Against his better judgment, he clicked the page link. A photo of Ms. Y/L/N— grinning and holding a very distraught-looking black cat— popped up on the screen, and Spencer laughed aloud.

I grew up on a farm outside of Fayetteville, NC before moving to Boston to complete my undergraduate degree. I moved to DC to earn my Master’s in Early Childhood Education, and I have been teaching here for 8 years! I love working with young learners, because children grow so much in their foundational years. Watching a child have a lightbulb moment is one of my greatest joys. When I'm not in the classroom, I love to read, travel, play scrabble, and spend time with my cat Roald (pronounced Roo-all)!

Spencer scrolled through the pictures of Ms. Y/L/N and her students. There were pictures in their “smocks,” which Spencer discovered were really just old t-shirts. There was one of her in the middle of some very animated story telling, and another of a field trip to the zoo. In each one, the smiles beamed out through the computer screen in a digital portrait of unbridled joy, contagious even over the waves of the internet. Smiling to himself, he clicked on the tab labeled Teaching Philosophy.

I believe that every child is an extraordinary and essential piece of our classroom puzzle. In order to nurture the unique individuality of each of my students, I work hard to make our classroom a safe, positive, and supportive community where students are given the space to express themselves. Our classroom culture is also one of kindness and creativity, where each individual is valued and celebrated for who they are!

Spencer swallowed the unexpected lump in his throat as he thought back on his own school career. While his teachers had always appreciated his intelligence, he honestly couldn’t recall a moment where he had felt valued for just… being himself. The majority of his time in school had been spent unsuccessfully fending off bullies, completing other students’ homework, or being gawked at like some sort of alien. He was grateful that Michael would hopefully never go through anything like what he’d experienced; at least not while Ms. Y/L/N was around.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he leaned back in the desk chair to pull it out. He swiped it open to read the incoming text.

JJ: So......... you like Ms. Y/L/N, huh? 😉😉😉

Spencer: What?! Did Will tell you that? I didn’t say that.

JJ: Some things you don’t have to say out loud, Spence.

———

Tags: @spacedikut

[thefangirl-16-blog]

Ranting about Every Wide Smile

(that is currently in my playlist)

So I have a playlist of 20 different versions of wide smile and I'm bored so I'm gonna talk about them (cos I've got a mostly free day today and I'm procrastinating) also i worte this as I was listen to each versions so some have way more than others, sorry

1983 Workshop

I cant understand 90% of what he's saying but what i can hear i really like. But i mean its Michael and he's great so of course he sounds good lol. The context of this version's very different since it would go there U.N.C.O.U.P.L.E.D. is the final show and really wish i could hear it better cos the lyrics are definitely different and id really like to know they are. Also also I love much he gets into it

OLC Cast Recording

I listen to this one almost everyday lol. I have clear Michael Staniforth bias but can you blame me? idk what to say about this one, its just really great lol

Japan/Australia Tour 1987 album

The intro from Bway onwards is somehow giving both 14 year old writes edgy poetry and actually being kinda cool and idk how. This one does kinda sound like he's just singing instead acting it at all but that could also just be me. Like the way he says this red C will not divide a lot

London 1988

Okay unpopular opinion time but this is low-key my second favourite wide smile. Idk i just really like his energy also its very elctraboose-y to me so that's probably a big factor as well. "You naughty know it boy" my beloved. They way he says no way makes the brain very happy which is a weird thing to focus on i know lol

1989 Bochum Press Rehearsal

Rip Electra's Mic in the opening. I love the way cb moves so much also the way hes like red caboose:D at certain points - very cute. Mini handshake for the win HANDSTAND CARTWHEEL THINGY

Broadway 1988

TODD LESTER MY BELOVED <3 my absolute fave version no competition. THE SPILTS!!!! incredible. Gets one point off for Electra's brush hair tho. "I admire you soo" and "GREASEBAWL". The way he says rail disaster lives rent free in my way and can't explain and the hiding in the back of the freight train bit, basically all of it lol. Also im trying not to focus too much on visuals but love the choreography. V. good electraboose handshake as well. The little bit at the end with even more pop culture references is low-key incomprehensible half way through but i cant help but love it. "Sleep tight sleepy head, the red caboose is under your bed"

Bochum 1989

This somehow has less pixels than my beloved london boot. Idk how i feel about his laugh at the start still a very funky little guy tho. Nothing really stands out too much but its still very soild (as if theres a bad version this song) does the red ca-BOOSE thing at one point

US Tour 1990

I really like the way his voice sounds but idk how to articulate why. He gets the longer ending again which i really enjoy

'National Tour' 1990 (might also be US Tour)

Voice doesnt really scream cb to me but I dont dislike it either very different take on the handshake bit vocally but since I'm listening to these all at once, it's a welcome change

Bochum 1991 Album

The opening 2 seconds gives me life. Not sure about how i feel about it just kinda starting tho. He seems kinda quiet? at the beginning but i like him the longer it goes on tbh. He's just a funky little man here and i love it also he basically yells red caboose and i love that

honestly I have no idea what year this is Bochum

This one is defiantly in the wrong place in the playlist lol. I wish I had more to say about this one, it's just very solid but this is another one where nothing really stands out too much. I like his little laugh at the end tho

1991 Bochum

Another one that moves in a very cb way idk how to explain it but it juts screams cb to me lol. Love his voice as well. The way he say red caboose is so great. Handstand-cartwheel-thingy my beloved <3. Love his laugh as well

Bochum 2001

Very mixed emotions on this ceeb. Definitely think he goes way too far his laugh, he does sound pretty gremlin-y but im not sure if it's in a cb way? idk how to explain it. This Electra wig is just bad I'm sorry. Gets props for being the last video that I've found with the handshake. I think I've been too mean on this one, he's not BAD im just not sure if the vibes is right i guess?

Bochum 2003/4

The first handshake-less wide smile video. Also the audio on this insanely loud for some reason? it's got nothing to do with the performance tho. A nice ceeb, I enjoy. Electra puts his hand on CB's shoulder at end and i'm counting that as an electraboose moment now

Bochum 2003/4 (but a different one)

That moment when you realise this footage might be as old as you. fdjbjdkbgkbfkdb i hate having nothing say. He's good but nothing really stands out that much after it cut down imo so it makes the later ones hard

Bochum 2004

You can tell his guy is faking the laugh :/ he does just sound like he's say hahaha. Electra rolling the r in red sound is cool tho. This ceeb low-key did a little laugh-word thing on one of his red's and that's cute, i like that

Bochum 2015

Nice laugh in the beginning, still hate that they somehow made it shorter again and less electraboose stuff. He definitely does the red caBOOSE thing and I love that so much. There is lowkey electraboose at the end tho which is good (i mean they stand now to each but you know - im easily pleased)

English Charity Gala Bochum 2017

I don't really love Dan's CB that much tbh. His voice just doesn't really fit for me? love his can't explain. He has a v. good laugh tho, especially at the end

London Workshop 2017

Okay don't @ me but I really like this guy as BV, like i don't really like him the rest of the workshop but I do really like his wide smile. The way he says back and track is so great and idk why. "Ain't that rich". The vibe is very different from the ceebs but i think that really fits BV so im not complaining

Bochum 2018

I hinted this before, but I think Dan is a better BV than CB imo. Didn't say this before but I love that it's longer again (now give them a handshake as well). Dan's high notes absolutely give me life