#homeworks piling up

[goatgoesmbe]

im sad u_u)

[stormynightstorytime]

Jade: And so,

Floyd: They were,

Honorary Ashengrotto! Yuu: Both bottoms.

Azul, who just opened up to them about him and Idia's first time: SHUT. UP!!!

[i-can-not-art]

Sleep deprivation is a lie made up by big tutor to get you to cram study less so you pay for tutors more

[berryblu-soda]

ninjago reincarnation AU where the world ended, and from it´s ashes rose another, similar yet eerly different, growing and changing from being little more than a rock in space, to a modern society much more like our own (show to movie setting :D!). with new old faces, flashes of a world long gone, a simple wish at the end (beggining?) of it all, etc etc...

[lycanthropiedd]

New art coming soon keep ya eyes peeled

[smile-files]

good news: the showrunners let me out of the rehearsal early! now i'm back at the dorm

bad news: i have work to do. and brother? i don't wanna do it

[nhura]

🧍‍♂️............................................................................................... alright man I'm just going to say it. I'm so hsrpilled that it's making me act out and draw fanart again. look forward to it or else ヾ(￣▽￣)

^ that's a wip

[crowned-ladybug]

Hee hoo DnD go brrr

[vacalimpia]

despite how mych i wished for the semester to end because of how work heavy it was now that it did I realize that the daily worry of "oh my god I have to get this done or ITS OVER better pack up for another 10 hour stay at college" became essential to my days, suddenly i feel aimless 😭

what do you mean that the things I did for procastination and to ignore my responsabilities are now just normal leisure. what do you mean i do not have work I have to do after this or i die how am i expected to just goof around without the dread of getting work done looming over me /lh

[sunnibits]

bruh tell me how I’ve been using procreate for like five years and I’m just NOW finding out that you can see exactly how long you spent on a specific piece 🤡

[pink-fiat003]

Why can’t I just watch Catholic videos all day I don’t want to do homework 😭

[skade32]

Do I deserve to be happy?

— — —

(a discovery I made about myself which in turn lead to a discovery about society’s obsession with a martyr-complex)

^^^ a study I did on my my own baby photos (I tried my best guys I’m being so fr I can’t draw kids)^^^

One thing I’ve noticed recently is that I look rather young for my age. Now granted, I still AM young but as I’m reaching the point of adulthood I’m starting to notice how I’m not losing the same features my peers have long grown out of— my round cheeks, my feathery soft baby hair that has yet to lose its youthful pallor, my stature, my flexibility, etc. all things I’m used to and have accepted as a part of who I am— and shockingly I also noticed that in no way am I insecure about the way I look. I chose to be positive about it and grateful for the little things that make me who I am. Just how the converse traits like looking older with scruffy beards, course salt and pepper hair and twinkling eyes are also positive traits.

As I’ve mentioned my transition into adulthood, I’ve been thinking a lot about identity and realizing I don’t know a lot about myself and this is one of the things I have recently realized and I really feel the need to express it because I’m excited to have a piece of the puzzle that is me and I really want to share it with the world but I’ve found that there often isn’t a positive connotation to how people view themselves.

Especially online when people write a self-reflective post, usually exhibiting traits of self-depreciation and such a viewpoint skews the frame of mind of the reader to the point where a simple observation such as my own taking a positive or even a neutral place in my self-esteem seems overtly narcissistic.

I’m kinda just ranting into the void at this point but I’ve just been thinking about this idea for some time and I think I need to get it out into the world so I can finally relax and let it go, knowing my revelations will not be lost to the chaos that is my mind.

Recognizing that I have a youthful appearance, and that I don’t necessarily despise that trait initially made me feel strange and insecure about my own confidence which is truly ironic. Something tells me that my experience with the oxymoronic attitude is unfortunately more universal than not. And it’s made me think about the implications behind the way that we as a society have chosen to assign negativity towards things like confidence and self-respect despite the hollow encouragements of posters and self help books adorning our guidance counselors’ offices.

Are we so corrupted that we starve ourselves of love and affection just to savor the idea that we deserve such things?

Is it possible that we have been unintentionally feeding each other’s anxieties and insecurities by projecting our own into the world? Have we unintentionally harmed those around us in an attempt to stave off the feelings of selfishness that haunt us every night? Do we crave so deeply to be needed, to be wanted, that we present ourselves as a thing that we despise despite not necessarily believing the things we say about ourselves? Do we simply say them because we don’t want to address the fact that we don’t beleive them? Are we all just trying to diminish ourselves every day because we can’t stand the idea that we might actually like ourselves, because we’ve been conditioned to think that anything positive is a selfish and undeserved benefit only fit for a person who is so humble and self-sacrificing that they would never accept such an idea anyway?

Do we earn the right to deserve love? Even if it diminishes the ability to experience love in the first place?

[james-preble]

does anyone else like feel blegh like physically tired limbs a bit heavy and like maybe a couple sports of like ouch ouch and so you lie down and everything triples and rhe pain moves around and you keep turning over and over and nothing gets better and also your like minor tinnitus starts acting up or is that just me

[lemuel-apologist]

In thinking about Cait Corrain (after watching ReadswithRachel's and Don't Fret's videos), I do think there is something to be said about the efficacy of instant feedback on your work. It was something D specifically brought up in the context of standup and open mics, but it reminded me of how Rachel brought up that Cait started off writing fanfiction. When you operate in communities online like this, you tend to expect a certain kind of feedback that you don't necessarily get from traditional publishing.

You also don't really, unless you're in a group that operates in the way of instant feedback, get that instant praise, commentary, or, yes, critique that you're used to. You do end up isolated; you do end up alone; and you don't get a feel for what works and what doesn't. When you put yourself out there, it's terrifying, and it's stupid, and it hurts-- not even to be rejected, but to fear being rejected. We all know it does. It's not exclusive to the neurodivergent. That's an intrinsically human feeling.

In the realm of feedback and stupid, human mentality, I know that I, personally, have a tendency to overreact and do dramatic things. That's true even when I'm medicated, apparently. (I'm saying this because I'm coming off of a week that ended in that. Don't focus too much on this part; it's a connection bit.)

The answer isn't to go out and explode, quit, and ruin my entire life-- or, in the case of authors we've seen, be extraordinarily racist, misogynistic, or otherwise lash out in writing or sideways-review because you think you are entitled to a certain kind of feedback you are not receiving. The answer is to take a step back, figure out why you're reacting like that, and, if you have done something like that (in my case, completely imploded; in the case of the relevant author, ruined so many people's debut reviews with racist screeds), figure out how to make amends for it.

D may not be saying that all writers should be less precious with their work-- but I would say to give it a try. Let a friend read it. Let someone else give it a go. The act of creation isn't something that you should bottle up in your stew of isolation. What you make is just as much a part of you as you are of it. It might help you be less possessive of your ideas when the little cheddar goblin pulls at your meninges.

And for goodness's sake, don't blame your racism on your mental illness.

[lunaechaos]

this week on i hate ancient roman law profusely: just memorized half of the textbook we use for my oral test on tuesday and i would like to very much relive gaius only to burn him to death again for inventing the corpus iuris civilis

[witchofanguish]

The only thing we knew is that we would never understand anything