#homophobia alive and well in 2022

[enbyfication]

biggest psyop of the past 50 years is that there's a pokemon called jiggly puff and we all just accept it as a normal name

[yukiwhitetm]

5 Tim Drake-centric Must Reads

Find post 5 Tim Drake-centric Must Reads: Animals/Non-humans here.

Find post 5 Bat Family Must Reads: Former Robins And Their Kids +1 Undercover Dick Grayson here.

I like Tim Drake-centric fanfictions for two main reasons, although Dick Grayson is actually my favourite Robin. Firstly, Tim reminds me a lot of Peter Parker (a genius, photographer, teenage superhero with a billionaire superhero mentor who is also a father-figure to them), who is probably my favourite superhero of all time. Secondly, the big thing I love about the Batman fandom is the Bat Family (aka BatFam). I adore the sibling relationship between the characters, always just want to them be close brothers/sisters. That is why my Batman fic recommendations are Tim Drake-centric. Because during and after Tim's time as Robin we have a larger BatFam. It's the family element.

1.

A Meditation on Railroading by eggmacguffin

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types  

Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, Gen, Complete Work

13 Jan 2022

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne

Tim Drake, Jack Drake, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne

Bad Parent Jack Drake, Child Abuse, Trains, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Crying, Gaslighting, Coming Out, Hurt/Comfort, Family

Summary:

When he ends up ditched in Atlanta after a fight with his dad, Tim decides to do the only sensible thing: Tell no one and make the 800 mile journey back to Gotham on his own.

Because the "call Batman when you're in trouble" rule only applies when he's Robin, right?

Language: English Words: 24,696 Chapters: 5/5

Yuki Note:

If you only ever read two Batman fanfictions, then let this be the second one (The Long Way Home being the first). This is an excellent representation of gaslighting, manipulation and mental and emotional child abuse (by Jack Drake to Tim Drake) and how it can effect an adolescent child. This is such a brilliant fanfiction – highly recommended!

2.

The Long Way Home by itsnatalie

Fandoms:Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)  

Not Rated, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Gen, Complete Work

25 Jun 2023

Tags:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne

Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Batfamily Members

Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Reconciliation, Hurt/Comfort, Lazarus Pit Madness (not current. Mentioned in the past)

Summary:

With Jason tentatively back in the Batfamily, things are going pretty well for him--except for the whole thing with Tim. But who gives a shit about Tim Drake?

But when Jason and Tim are pulled into a frightening race for their lives inside a labyrinth that's out to kill them, they may have to look past their differences just to stay alive. Maybe along the way, they'll discover they aren't as different as they thought, and family comes in many different forms.

Language: English Words: 111,685 Chapters: 13/13

Yuki Note:

This is one of the best fanfictions I have ever read. This is written so well that it could be a published novel. However, before reading this please be aware of the horror elements throughout the story as well as the canon typical injuries, near death experiences and past mentioned child abuse in here (not by Bruce). If you only ever read one Batman fanfiction, then let it be this one.

3.

Scientific Method by vogon_poet

Fandoms: DCU, Batman - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

General Audiences, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Gen, Complete Work

04 Jul 2021

Tags:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Hermione Granger, Tim Drake & Severus Snape, Tim Drake & Fred & George Weasley, Tim Drake & Tom Riddle

Tim Drake, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts cast, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tom Riddle

Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, BAMF Tim Drake, Tim Drake is a Wizard, Tim Drake is Not Red Robin, Jack and Janet Drake's A+ Parenting, Slytherin Tim Drake, Everyone from Gotham is lowkey scary, Magical Theory, Bigotry & Prejudice, Tim Drake Gets a Hug, Tim Drake looks like a cinammon roll and is a cinammon roll, but will hurt you if you're racist, Activist Hermione Granger

Summary:

It’s not like he’s surprised a magic school exists— that’s probably only a seven on the scale of “crazy things Tim Drake has seen”. No, Tim’s just surprised he’s enrolled.

Part 1 of Scientific Method

Language: English Words: 133,507 Chapters: 46/46

Yuki Note:

A really fun read! Ever wanted a brilliantly clever and magical Tim Drake who is also able to see the future? Well, then this one is for you! This story covers Tim’s first and second year (he skips a year so if I recall correctly he skips to third year after his first year) and is a Fix It Fic for A Death In The Family. There is also a sequel fic in the works. Recommended!

4.

cards on the table by wesslan

Fandoms:Batman - All Media Types  

Not Rated, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Gen, Complete Work

10 Jan 2024

Tags:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake

Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Alfred Pennyworth

Not Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Tim Drake is Not a Batfamily Member, Fortune Telling, Tarot, Found Family, Tim Drake-centric, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Doesn't he always, tim is a fortune teller, Tim Drake Joins the Batfamily Late, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Divination, tim drake is a hustler, author saw ghost (1990) and somehow here we are???, Absent Parents, Stalker Tim Drake, Underage Drinking, Stephanie Brown Appreciation, Murder and violence, just a little bit, Hypothermia, Light Angst, Lies, like so much lying, Unreliable Narrator

Summary:

Tim's parents faked their deaths and fled the country years ago, but neglected to take him with them. He spent some time on the streets, and now at 16, he makes a living as a fortune teller, stalking and hustling the shit out of Gotham's elite by telling them eerily accurate fortunes based on the information he gathers about them.

His life is peculiar but he wouldn't change a thing. When he gets booked for the big Wayne Halloween party, however, he finds himself getting all tangled up with the Waynes, and the more fortunes he tells, the tighter the snare becomes.

or: Tim just wanted to scam Gotham's elite, not end up on the Batfamily's watchlist. But it seems they just won't leave him alone..

Language: English Words: 69,788 Chapters: 30/30

Yuki Note:

This has been on a lot of BatFam rec lists lately and for good reason! This is a fantastic read, a very fun and smart idea of how Tim could join the BatFam late. I really like that this Tim is a bit more down and out whilst still remaining quintessentially him (I just think it’s great that he and Jason and Steph have more to relate to one another to). I am here for all the sibling content so I love this! Highly recommended!

OK. I am disabled and am becoming very fatigued so I’m only going to recommend one more in this post, however I have a full list of 72 Batman fandom recommendations on my AO3 account here. (Please note that three of these are JayTim, however that is under the caveat that they are set in AUs where they were never adopted brothers and are great fanfictions.)

5.

The Ruination Of Responsibility by Moxibustion (RyuuzaKochou)

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)  

Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, Gen, Complete Work

26 Apr 2020

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Barbara Gordon

Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Alfred Pennyworth, Barbara Gordon

Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Past Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Pre-Tim Drake/Jason Todd, If You Squint - Freeform, Protective Dick Grayson, Protective Jason Todd, Reconciliation, Extravaganza Week At The Wayne Manor, Female Tim Drake, TW: Mention Of An Offscreen Past Sexual Assault, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Non-Linear Narrative, Hurt Tim Drake

Summary:

It's Extravaganza Week at the Manor. Anything you want, anything you can dream of, as long as it's fun, fun, fun!

Timianna Drake has a somewhat fabulously complicated relationship with fun.

Language: English Words: 89,433 Chapters: 23/23

Bookmarker's Tags: Minor Character Death, Suicide

Yuki Note (from original bookmark):

I was hesitant when I went into this story, mostly because of the gender change for Tim/Timi. I am not against gender changes in stories but I find they need a point, a purpose, a reason for the change. But there is a point to Timi being a woman in this story, as it deals with the challenges, discrimination and sexism that she has to deal with in the corporate and hero world.

I really enjoyed the corporate storyline since few stories actually deal with Timi's work and the challenges therein. The family storyline is great too and I love how everything comes to a head and forces Bruce and Dick to face their failures and finally, finally do something about them. Highly recommended!

P.S. Don't worry about the Pre-Jason/Tim tag on this story. There is literally no Jason/Tim at all, in fact they don't even interact any more than Tim interacts with Cass, Steph or Dick. This is 100% Jason&Tim, a close sibling bond.

Trigger Warning: This is presently not tagged on the story but should be. It is mentioned that a minor recurring character commits suicide in the story. You don't see it, it is only mentioned. To those who find suicide triggering, be aware of this.

Enjoy! And feel free to explore my full AO3 rec list here.

[bengiyo]

Century of Love: A Muddled, Pretty Mess

Century of Love is a somewhat difficult show for me to rate. On the whole, I have to say that the final four episodes squander a lot of the fun and potential of the earlier episodes, leaving this to be a fundamentally unsatisfying, somewhat-incomplete project. Century of Love is another show where I find myself struggling with the idea of what the show could have been beside the reality of what it actually was. Thus, despite finding the show visually pleasing and sometimes-fun, it’s honestly rather forgettable now that it’s passed.

Rating: 7, Recommended With Serious Reservations

Runtime: 10 60+ minute episodes

Country: Thailand

Network: Netflix, One 31, oneD

Availability: GagaOOlala

Century of Love is about a man named San (Daou Pittaya), who has lived for a century in search of the reincarnation of his murdered love. Accumulating wealth for his family and receiving their care, they’re anticipating the seminal moment in which San will finally find Vad (Cookie Yada) again. In this case, all measurements indicate that Vad has been reincarnated as one of the most beautiful boys ever in Vee (Offroad Kantapon), and San has to unlearn his own internalized homophobia and presumptions if he doesn’t want to suffer a painful death. He must connect with Vee, and stave off attempts to steal the magic stone that’s kept him alive for a century. 

The show blends romance, drama, action, and comedy really well in the first few weeks of viewing, but then takes a steep nosedive over its final arcs. I want to talk about some of the things I enjoyed in this show before I criticize the back half too much. User @flowerbeasblog covers the significance of this as a queer lakorn airing in a primetime slot in their post. We also know that there were serious workplace safety issues on set (@singto-prachaya), and it seems like the director has distanced himself from the project by not even posting about it.

Daou Pittaya. I loved Daou in this role. He showed real chops as an actor. I felt the entire time that he was an old man in a young body. He looked worn and tired most of the time in a way that is recognizable in elders. His training as an idol clearly helped with his ability to perform the fight choreography (limited as it was). He was also beautiful, and the costuming department was so correct to put him in shirts that shows off his collarbones in every episode. 

The Family. I loved San’s family so much. I loved that we had members of all ages calling San great grandpa the whole time, and I loved the way they teased him across the show. Juu (Xiang Pornsroung) was a standout character, and it was obvious that War Jirawat was having a great time treating Daou’s character like an elder.

Offroad Kantapon. I thought Offroad was the best part of Our Days (2022), and I liked him in Love in Translation (2023). He’s good with Daou in this show, but seems like he struggled in scenes with others. I wanna chalk that up to the storytelling confusion later.  He has great scenes with Tuk Deuntem as the grandmother that I also feel like didn’t clear up with the themes.

Let’s get into the big issues. More than anything, this show muddled its messaging about accepting death and new life. There are clear guides to this early with Vee not remembering his prior life as Vad, and asserting that he personally would move on because there’s no way the old Vad would come back. 

The Mythology. This show really cocked up its own mythology, evinced best by the multiple episodes of hot potato they played with who got the five-colored stone. I’d have rather the show focused on the relationship with the goddess than the stone as a plot device. The show sidesteps the own question it asked about whether it matters who is reincarnated as Vad by having a doppenganger lie about what she remembers, and yet the stone responded to her, too? San choosing Vee regardless is a nice idea, but the show really let me down on not resolving its own mythology when it showed that Tao could predict exactly when San would run into Vad. Also, what the fuck was the deal with Chibi San (credit to @negrowhat)? Why does he have to rejuvenate as a kid, and then that just goes away? Finally, why was Pond Ponlawit even in this show? What purpose did Third serve in this reincarnation tale? There were hints he was going to be some kind of villain, and then it’s just dropped. 

The Villains. Speaking of villains, what was the point of Chen and nephew other than to extend the show by having people trying to steal the stone? Why did Third have no role in the reincarnation tale other than to share the face with Trai? We don’t learn anything interesting about Chen and nephew before they kill each other like an SNL sketch. 

The Themes Around Death. Early on the show set up a growth arc for San to grow beyond who he was at Vad’s death. He’s literally preserved the theater she died in until she returns. Vee is dealing with the impending death of his grandmother. The grandmother makes the choice not to continue living in pain and accept the life she has, asserting that every story must come to an end for it to have meaning. Then, San lies about his own impending death only to be saved at the last minute. I just didn’t really enjoy the way they handled this at all in the end. 

Final Thoughts. I’m really glad a lot of new people got to enjoy Daou and Offroad. I also really like the way this show handled its themes around bisexuality with Vee, and San coming to enjoy the intimate relationship he built with Vee. I thought there were a lot of really fun moments in the early part of this show, especially with them giving the audience exactly what we wanted from one scene into the next one (like Vee meeting Chibi Sun immediately). I will remember the costuming fondly, and I will remember the cast. Other than that, I will probably not return to this show, and that’s a real shame because it started off as something that felt like it could be a favorite.

Hopefully they hire Daou and Offroad for the idol romance BL that @lurkingshan has been asking for.  

[ravangie]

With Puss also being a lesbian, have you ever thought about leaning into the fact the song used at the end of the first Puss in Boots movie was about a lesbian couple on the run?

Hehehehe 😈 Yes, yes I have! 😈

In my Shrek AU everyone is a lesbian so there would be no need for Puss and Kitty to run from the law for their love. But they are criminals in their own ways so it still makes sense!

But I also have to say that I have a special connection with this song. I used to listen to it on repeat back in 2011 when Puss in Boots came out, not even knowing the meaning of the lyrics. And then, I listened to this song on repeat again in 2022, when I first started working on Tulia and Miguella. Now in THEIR universe, with homophobia being very much alive and present, this song makes perfect sense.

And now that I have Tulia and Miguella in the 19th century America.. Well, what can I say except...

I met a girl in East LA💃 In floral shorts as sweet as May💃 She sang in eights in two Barrio chords💃 We fell in love💃 But not in court👏👏👏👏👏

[nysocboy]

David Pevsner: Quasi-homophobic roles, older gay guy roles, gay theater, gay videos. DId I mention that he is gay?

A photo of someone named David Pevsner popped up on my "n*de celebrity" feed.  I never heard of him, but when I checked the IMDB, I found 57 acting credits, with a lot of gay-themed projects.  

A promising start.  Until you start checking the synopses.

A bartender in a gay bar in a 2000 episode of NYPD Blue: the detectives, including the homophobic Rick Schroeder, deal with the case of a man who rents a hotel room to meet guys on the downlow.  He is stabbed 47 times, and his p enis removed.  So, like "Cruising", with some gay panic shite?

A casting agent in The Fluffer (2001): a young man employed as a fluffer (keeping the adult actors interested) falls for "a gay-for-pay p*rn star whose hedonistic lifestyle may lead them both to destruction."  Yuck, more gay-as-sleaze homophobia.  I'll be he gets redeemed through a heterosexual romance.

"Man in Hospital" in Adam & Steve (2005):  Adam and his girlfriend are at a pub, when he sees a male dancer, Steve, and decides to hook up.  Years later, he meets Steve again, now a psychiatrist, and they start a new relationship.  Meanwhile, the ex-girlfriend starts dating Steve's roommate.  It's on Pluto only, so I can't get to it, but according to the reviews, there's some homophobic hate crime, people being horrified at seeing a gay couple (in 2005 New York), stereotyping, gross-out humor, and a whimpering dog.   

A lot of gay roles, but not positive ones.  I don't know if this guy is gay or a blistering homophobe, or both.

A starring role in The Real Life (2007), about a life coach (David) who gets his own reality tv show, and becomes "addicted to fame."  Not available to stream anywhere.

Lez Be Friends (2007), two episodes of a tv pilot repackaged as a movie: A lesbian must pretend to be straight so her lesbian-phobic landlord will allow her and her gay bff to move in with a gay guy.  So the dude is fine with gay men, but not lesbians?  Or does he think that gay people all hook up with each other?.  That's the premise of Three's Company.   The first episode sets up the premise, and the second is about a crab infestation.  David plays Duke, not one of the roommates.  Not available to stream.

A p*rnography professor in P*rnography: A Thriller (2009).

Role Play (2010): A recently outed soap star begins a relationship with a "recently divorced gay marriage activist," and there's something about fame. At least nobody dies. David plays Alex, the resort owner.

The IMDB goes on like that, with minor quasi-homophobic roles in gay-themed movies and tv shows. I'm going to move up to the tv series where David has more substantial roles.

Tardust in 10 episodes of We're Alive: A Story of Survival, a podcast about a zombie apocalypse. 

The Host in 7 episodes of Disorganized Zone, a Twilight zone parody.

27 episodes of Old Dogs & New Tricks (2011-20), a webseries about four middle-aged gay men living in "youth-obsessed West Hollywood": Leon Acord as a talent agent, Curt Bonem as singer who peaked in the 1980s, David as an actor who peaked in the 1990s, and Jeffrey Patrick Olson as a personal trainer

Scrooge in Scrooge & Marley (2012), a gay retake of Dickens' Christmas Carol.  The "bah! humbug!" dude is mourning his dead partner (Tim Kazurinski), learns the Spirit of Christmas, and helps his nephew get a boyfriend.  And the ghosts are rather...um, festive.  

It's on Tubi. Maybe I'll review it next Christmas.

David appears to be primarily a theatrical actor, with again a lot of gay themed plays: Party, When Pigs Fly, F*cking Men, as well as standbys like Fiddler on the Roof.  He wrote three songs for N*ked Boys Singing, and has starred in two one-man shows, From Bitter to Better, and Musical Comedy Who re.

He also has a solo album, Most Versatile (2016), and an autobiography, Damn Shame: A Memoir of Desire, Defiance, and Show Tunes (2022). 

When he was a struggling actor in the 1980s, David worked as a hustler, and did some n*de modeling.  Here's one from the 2000s. 

David continues to do n*de modeling, disputing the myth that older guys can't be attractive -- or interested in s*ex.  He's interested -- and very busy.

The full profile, with n*de photos, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

[akwardlyuncool]

Class Favorites: Movie Ranking Part 2!

And we're back for part 2 of the 2024 movie ranking. If you haven't seen part 1 and would like to, feel free to go check it out.

Notes:

Some reviews are longer than others, that's okay.

I'm trying something new with the Trigger/Content Warnings. This time I'm just going to mention that there is a warning and if you want to go look into what's up, you can do what's necessary for you. A few exceptions may apply.

_______________________________________________________________

26) I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

4 teens decide they want to "bury" the evidence of the accident they were in, however nothing stays secret forever and someone is gonna make sure these kids never forget.

I am not smart enough for horror movies. I was confused for a ton of the movie and even had to ask my coworkers, the ones who are into horror and slasher films, if I ended the movie knowing the WHO of the whole movie. I struggled less with that during the sequel, so that's the reason I'm giving for ranking that one over this one. Again it's a lot of blood, but if these types of movies are your thing, I don't think you'll mind so much. I Know What You Did Last Summer is a what many would call a must watch in what I call the Pop Horror genre and after having seen it, I believe it works well among it's peers. I've also never met a Freddy Prince Junior that wasn't at least decent.

27) Outside Providence (1999) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Tim Dunphy is going nowhere fast or that's what his dad believes. After a run in with the law, he's sent off to a Connecticut boarding school for a second chance. That second chance is made all the more sweeter when Tim meets Jane and contemplates a different life. *TW/CW

This is another movie I've watched the trailer for on VHS tapes and decided I needed to see it. When I finally found a copy on tape, the box made it seem like the funniest movie alive. Based on the trailer, I thought it was gonna be a romantic comedy with a fall air around it and some giggles of the cute kind. The reality is that it's a for sure a romance and a little bit on the funny side, but it was not the hilarity piece some claimed it to be. Outside Providence is cute and has a decent rock soundtrack, but it's downside is that it's also riddled with a ton homophobia and ableism. So yes it is cute, there's just some rough spots in it.

28) My Daughter's Disgrace (2016) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Peyton Harris is a high school senior who thought she was taking private pictures for no one else's eyes but her own. Now those once private pictures have been uploaded to a revenge porn site and shared with just about everyone she knows, and many she doesn't. Upon hearing the news her mother decides it's her personal mission to take down whoever did it. *TW/CW

I feel like the intention was for this movie to lean feminist, but still found itself rather shame-y despite it's efforts. Like yes you can do this private thing as a way to celebrate your body, but it's still your fault if they become public, even by no fault of your own and even if we're gonna fight to figure out what happened. The shame, along with the unrealistic ending made this one rank a bit lower on list, even with all of it's drama and lots of internal conversation. Works in Lifetime land, but could have stuck its landing better.

29) Cheaper By The Dozen (2022) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Another remake of a popular classic. How two blended families came together to make a total of 12, navigate changes in their lives as their family business grows and they figure out what's important.

It was alright for what it was, however I thought it tried really hard to be progressive. A lot of it just didn't feel as easy or natural as it could of been and I think that's what ultimately hurt it. Some of the commentary and jokes were hella real though. There were a few moments that were geared towards the parent/adult watching, which was funny to me and aided in giving the film that fuller family vibe I didn't hate from older family films. If family movies are your thing and you make ironic woke jokes about yourself, this is your kind of movie night.

30) Valentine's Day (2010) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

3 different couples and many other people in their orbit navigate the world on supposedly the most romantic day of the year.

It's a mega ensemble mash-up romantic comedy, that went on to get an unofficial sequel for New Years Eve in 2011. These types of movies feel cheap and easy lol. I think they're supposed to seem grand and give you feels and make you want to believe in something called love. I don't want to give this movie too much credit, yes it is cute, but I won't put it in my top rom-com list.

31) Prom (2011) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

For high school seniors graduation isn't the big day, it's actually PROM and these students will do what it takes to make the night one to never forget. Add in bad boys that aren't bad and good girls that are constantly told they need to relax and you got yourself a classic.

An almost 2 hour long movie about saving prom, with the most 2010's soundtrack ever, yeah that 3 is way too high.

32) Perfect Addiction (2023) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

When your champion boxer boyfriend decides to cheat on you with your sister, you decide to cheat on him as your trainer and start training with his #1 rival. What could possibly go wrong? Or right depending on how you think about it. *Based On A Book by Claudia Tan.

This one is better than many of it's spicy new adult peers, however it still produced several eye rolls and wishes of things I thought they could of handled better. This story featured quite a bit of talk about dom/sub dynamics, so I also wished that they would of dug deeper into the conversation they have surrounding manipulation, dominance over woman, and how improper kink can play a roll in all of that. (A far too big of a conversation for this particular post, but know I have many thoughts.) This movie could use a ton of work, but because the bar is already so low, it manages to step over it pretty easily compared to others in the genre. You'll love it, if you like these often toxic romance films.

33) Sugarbabies (2015) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

What happens when your new collage roommates convinces you that letting an older man pay for your time is a positive thing, despite your obvious reservations.

Another inflated 3 stars for a Lifetime movie, typical of me. This movie would be in the gutter based on its decision to give redemption arcs to men who CLEARLY don't deserve them, but it did a halfway decent job in others areas that some of the lower made-for-tv movies fail at, so there's your ranking answer.

34) Stolen Baby: The Murder of Hedi Broussard (2023) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Two best friends with one pretending to be pregnant at the same time as the other, wind up down a scary path of secrets and murder, to uphold the lie. *Based On True Events. *TW/CW

My biggest gripe was that they did the ending so dirty with this movie. Now I don't know the real story and don't plan to look it up, but in Lifetime land, I needed way more drama and that's pretty weird for me. I wanted them to fight a little more and for the story to just be filled out more than it was. Essentially drive the point home! If you hate when they fumble the ending, then this wouldn't be a top one for you either. There is a lot happening here though, so you might still get some entertainment out of it.

35) Amish Stud: The Eli Weaver Story (2024) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

An Amish husband is tempted far too much by English women and modern technology, so much so that he may or may not have conspired with his "friends" to let go of his Amish wife, who just doesn't do it for him anymore.

Among other probably gross handlings of real people's lives, I'm not sure I want many more of these films based on actual crimes. I've said many times that I'm not a true crime girly and this movie is proof as to why. Just overall felt in poor taste.

36) Before I Fall (2017) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Life seems to be great and going rather well. You're popular and going to all the hot parties and then one day it decides to stop and repeat itself. Over and over again You now have to repeat the same day for the rest of your life, but why not try and figure out why, along the way. *Based on a book by Lauren Oliver. *TW/CW

I own this book and never wound up reading it but after deciding to skip to the movie my overall thought is that, it irritated me so much. It's essentially about giving one person Déjà vu, so you can then turn around and give the mean kids redemption arcs in the process. Here's to thinking it was going to be far more nuanced than that. Don't know if it does justice to the book or not, but if you like YA book adaptations as a form of entertainment, I think you'd find something here, just not my top pick.

37) Missing At 17 (2013) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

When Candace finds out she's adopted from someone other than her parents, she runs away and gets involved with an older man who aids in her finding her birth mother.

Tell your kids that they're adopted please and thank you. It will save your family a lot of stress and trips to the police station. This is the part of the ranking where we get into the territory of "its low because I don't remember it or it's low because it was bad," this is both.

38) Pregnant At 17 (2016) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Chelsea just wants her life back after she witnessed a violent crime. Although she dropped out of school, she is seeing a distinguished older man named Jeff who says all the right things, including that he will leave his wife when the time is right. That all changes when Chelsea finds out she's pregnant and Jeff acknowledges how illegal all of this "fun" really is. *TW/CW

The "At 17" series always ranks fairly low for me. I just have a hard time because they seem to want to play the game of legal vs inappropriate. If they make it illegal it adds to the drama and creep factor, if they make it legal but weird, to them it might not have the same bite. I don't know, I'm not here to justify the trash, I'm just here to consume and tell you how bad it is afterwards.

39) Murdered At 17 (2018) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Brooke suffered a severe head injury during cheerleading a year ago and she's still trying to find a sense of normalcy. Things are fine, but due to the injury, she suffers from fits of rage where she may also blackout. It's hard to find people who can relate to her, but her friends are solid and she's on medication. While out one night she meets a wealthy "18" year old who seems like a win, until he gets a little too attached and untangling that one poses some difficulties.

I'm not going to change my ranking here, but it seems like past me ranked it higher than several other Lifetime movies on my big Made-For-TV ranking list, so I'll just go with the idea that this one is probably better than I am remembering it, in relation to the others that proceeded it on this years ACF. Still 2 and a half stars though, that hasn't changed. Oh the things I will consume for my love of this mess and anything featuring a former Degrassi cast member.

40) The Boy She Met Online (2010) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Cami like many other teenage girls wants to find love, however the boys in her class aren't exactly it so she goes online to find that special someone. That's where she meets Jake the 23 year old college student, who's super cool and mature. Things start to go south we it's revealed that instead of being in college Jake has been serving time elsewhere and that's not his only lie.

This is where I started to dip my toes in the "met online" series of Lifetime-esk movies. These function similarly to the "At 17" series, where you take someone 17 or younger and put them in dangerous situations for entertainment. I believe this movie and it's peers try to be warning labels about the internet and to their credit will give folks anxiety (or I'm just a ridiculously anxious person) but if you already don't take them seriously, I think you'll laugh more at the message than you would actually take it to heart. PS: Teens and online dating do not mix.

41) Pretty Little Addict (2016) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Dealing with the loss of her father to cancer, Jennifer decides to drink at a party. Instead of being responsible and letting her friend drive home, she gets behind the wheel and crashes into another kid at the party. The problem is, this particular kid had dreams and a brother who wanted to see those dreams come true. Now she's in rehab trying to better herself, and that same brother kinda just wants revenge cause the justice system isn't doing good enough. *TW/CW

Not gonna lie, I don't think you actually want to watch a movie where the pretty, young, white girl drinks and drives, almost murders a person and gets what many would consider a slap on the wrist. It's not a good plot to begin with, but knowing all of that just makes it more irritating. I watch all of this stuff, but I don't think it's good.

PS: This and a movie a few ticks down are more features where the ACF ranking fluctuates from what I said in my Made-For-Tv, Lifetime List ranking. I still trust this list, but I do trust that one a little more, cause that gets updated right after I watch the film. Also if you want to see that list, DM message me and I'll send it to you.

42) Time Is Up (2021) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

After an accident that causes Vivien to loose the memory of what happened to her, she must 1) decide which boy is telling the truth and 2) who does she love?

Again it is better than it's peers, but it is still very much a WattPad story if you've ever seen or read one. Bars are set really low here and although it cleared it, it just hit too many of the cliché tropes for me to let it pass more than barely. I enjoy a good memory loss story, I'm just tired of fake bad boys and "lost potential." It might be your thing though, who knows.

43) Three To Tango (1999) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

When they guy that is considering you and your business partner for a big design project, gets the impression that you're gay, unbeknownst to you, asks you on the side to spy on his mistress, I mean girlfriend...he has a wife.... Essentially somehow you agree and get wrapped up in mess and we're supposed to believe it was an accident.

I believed there was spark in this one, for the most part. That being said there were parts of this movie that weren't great and although my brain can't remember all the details, I feel like they were probably inappropriate and just didn't age well. My notes do say that it wasn't that bad though, so maybe the "good" just didn't do the bad any favors here. Although it may rank low, trust that this would be an easier watch/sell, than some of the other films that surrounded it in this ranking.

44) Sex Tape (2014) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

To spice up their relationship one married couple decides to make a ridiculously long private adult film. At the end of it all, she tells him to delete it. He obviously says okay and to no surprise to anyone, doesn't. Eventually The Cloud gets involved and now the video is out there for all their friends, family and coworkers to see. To get back the video, they must exhaust the night and she must try not to cause bodily harm to him.

It was bad. That's the review. Sometimes the former cast of Freaks & Geeks can make a raunchy movie and you're into it and then sometimes they end up being very much trash with maybe 1 or 2 cute scenes involved. Yes, this movie does go in the pile with Zach and Miri Make a Porno and that's because they're terrible with A cute scene. Obviously there are worse movies in this list, but that doesn't make this one better.

45) Honey 2 (2011) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

To prove that she can change and do something with her life and well get back at an ex in the process, Maria joins a new dance crew and hopes to win big.

This movie gave NOTHING. I don't like to use the word boring lightly, but I was not feeling it. It's definitely getting lumped into the sequels we ignore category. Not memorable and very little spark. Not worth it, however now that I've seen number 2, I'm more willing to complete the trilogy and check out number 3... eventually.

46) A Teacher's Obsession (2015) ⭐️⭐️

A star athlete just needs a little help in class, but the teacher who ends up helping her out, decides to go the extra mile. *TW/CW

This movie was just gross and wildly inappropriate. It's hard for me to recommend something that gave me the ick the whole time. There are better bad movie night films, skip this one.

47) The Bride He Met Online (2015) ⭐️⭐️

3 teenage girls prank some guy they met online by convincing him that he's met his dream girl from another country. The girls post the heartbreak to the internet and when the guy finds out, he decides to seek revenge. *TW/CW

I think it is really cruel to prank and bully people in this way, full stop, however this was an incel movie if I've ever seen one. It goes from one extreme to another and the moral is quickly lost when you see how the end is unfolding. Not good, actually terrible. Your movie is not less incel simply because you're a woman and allowed girls to be depicted doing wrong things.

48) Beautiful Wedding (2024) ⭐️ 1/2

Travis and Abby after getting drunk married in Vegas, take Abby’s best friend and Travis’s cousin to Mexico to celebrate the newlyweds honeymoon. On said honeymoon they’ll decide whether to stay married or call it quits before the vacation has even really began. (The sequel to Beautiful Disaster.) *Based On A Book by Jamie McGuire.

This was the only movie that got a full blog review in 2024. Essentially it's easy to talk when the material is such trash. Go check out that post if you want the long version, but the condensed version is that the whole movie felt like a parody of itself and is essentially only good for bad movie nights and people who are unironically into New-Adult films, but I wouldn't even recommend it to them, because it's that bad.

49) To Save A Life (2009) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Jake is the big man on campus, but when his former best friend takes his life, Jake now spends his days trying to answer the looming question of "could he have saved him?" This leads him down the path of more spiritual answers. *TW/CW

I had been telling myself to watch this movie for months and after several library checkouts and returns, I finally put it on. This movie was ridiculously heavy handed. It hit all of the classic tropes including such winners as "be nice so folks don't harm themselves or others," "shame as an encouragement tactic" and we can't leave out all of the not so great "not-so pro life-pro-life" stuff either. I knew it was gonna be a little something, something, but this was far too much. The best part of the whole movie was when they played Dare You To Move by Switch Foot. It's no surprise, I like my Christian pop punk.

Side Comment: It features a Steven Crowder jump scare, which was rather funny to me. He essentially plays the younger douche bag version of himself, without his character needing to be religious. Whatever you believe about all that information, I can guarantee that you're right.

50) 0 (2001) ⭐️⭐️

The friend who can't seem to let you win, does what he can to make sure in every way possible, that you don't. *Based On The Play Othello by William Shakespeare. *TW/CW

I believe that I was recommended this movie by a coworker, but after having seen it and then questioning them about it, I may have only thought they were recommending it to me. (It probably came up in a conversation about how much I enjoy a teen sports movie.)

In 2024 we start and end things with a youth sports movie. I love Julia Stiles and will give anything of hers a shot, but this was the first one I've seen, that I can say that I've actually hated. I can't with all the race-play jokes, among other egregious things directed toward black men. I've never read Othello, which could have helped me out here, but honestly after watching this adaptation I have no desire to see what the source material has to offer. Gross, ick, insensitive, all the things that could be wrong are wrong with this film. The only redeeming factor is the cast and not even they could save it.

________________________________________________________________

That was a steep one, glad you made it to the end. Stay tuned for more ACF 2024!

[callmebrycelee]

AMERICAN HORROR STORY REACTION

This reaction is for season 11, first episode titled "Something's Coming" which originally aired on October 19, 2022. "Something's Coming" was written by Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk and directed by John J. Gray. Spoilers ahead!

Finally! The moment we've been waiting for all year is here! The latest season of American Horror Story debuted last week. This new season of AHS called "NYC" features a mix of old and new. We have AHS alums Billie Lourd, Denis O'Hare, Leslie Grossman, Patti LuPone, Sandra Bernhard, and Zachary Quinto joining some newcomers to the series - broadway actors Joe Mantello (Angels in America) and Isaac Powell (West Side Story) and television actors Russell Tovey (Being Human, Looking) and Charlie Carver (Desperate Housewives, The Leftovers, The Boys in the Band). We also have a new setting - New York City. 

Having watched the first two episodes, I have some thoughts as well as some theories about where this season is going. So, let's talk about it!

SOMETHING'S COMING ...

It's very rare I start a new season of American Horror Story not knowing the premise. I think not knowing what to expect is one of the main reasons as to why I thoroughly enjoyed both episodes. Speaking of episodes, let's begin with episode one, "Something's Coming". Without any fanfare, we're dropped right into early-80's New York City - 1981 to be exact. We see a pilot named Captain Ross (Lee Aaron Rosen) and a few flight attendants exit a cab and enter a hotel. While walking to his hotel room, Captain Ross is confronted by one of his coworkers, Tawny (Kelsey Lea Jones), and she comes on to him like gangbusters. Captain Ross flashes his wedding band and tells her thanks but no thanks and proceeds on to his hotel room where he proceeds to shower and dress in his finest leather gear. 

Captain Ross makes his way to a sketchy part of town and goes into a seemingly abandoned warehouse where men in various states of undress are hooking up in darkened passages. The last time we see the captain alive on screen is when we see him being watched by a muscular, masked man dressed in head to toe leather. The next thing we see is a headless body by the river. The NYPD, including a cop by the name of Patrick Read (Russell Tovey), are on the scene investigating. And if I didn't already know we were back in the 1980's, then it was made abundantly clear the moment one of the cops made a derogatory joke about the victim who is presumed gay. It's a harsh reminder that even though this scene is taking place over 40 years ago, homophobia is still an issue in 2022. 

To make matters even more bleak, we head over to Fire Island where a scientist and doctor by the name of Hannah Wells (Billie Lourd) is investigating a new virus that is threatening to wipe out the deer population on the island. Hannah suggests killing off the remaining deer before the virus has a chance to jump to humans. With this being 1981, I have a sneaking suspicion what this new virus could be.  

We learn that Patrick is gay and is living with his older partner, Gino Barelli (Joe Mantello). The two appear to be polar opposites. Patrick used to be married and is now living as a gay man, though he is closeted at work for obvious reasons. Gino is an openly gay and works as a journalist for a newspaper called 'The Native' which reports on issues concerning the gay community. They both have different approaches when it comes to the string of murders involving local gay men. While Patrick is content to quietly investigate, Gino wants to use the newspaper to shine a huge spotlight on the issue. There's obviously some tension between these two but they do seem to genuinely care about each other. 

We then meet Adam Carpenter (Charlie Carver), a young gay man currently in the middle of a breakup. His friend and roommate, Sully (Jared Reinfeldt) attempts to cheer him up by taking him to a cruising spot in the park. What I like most about Adam is his innocence which is a striking contrast to many of the characters we are introduced to in this episode. He's a romantic at heart and isn't really interested in anonymous hookups.

Adam is left alone after Sully goes off to hookup with a total stranger and that is when he sees the same muscular, masked man in the leather get-up we saw earlier in the episode. He runs away calling after Sully. Sully goes after him and is confronted by the mysterious, possibly murderous leather daddy. We hear him scream and that is the last we ever see of Sully.

Adam reports Sully's disappearance to Patrick at the police department. Adam thinks that Patrick doesn't want to help him but Patrick assures him that he does care about the situation and he does want to help but he can't and it's not because Sully is gay, it's because he hasn't been missing for more than 48 hours. He tells Adam to come back if Sully hasn't turned up in a couple of days and Adam leaves the station. 

Patrick then goes to talk to the captain, Mac Marzara (Kal Penn) about Sully and all of the recent murders but gets nowhere. I do find it interesting that we have a POC character in a position of power who could honestly give a shit that a bunch of homosexuals are being murdered. I imagine it couldn't have been easy for him to get to the position he is currently in, yet he seems intent on shitting on an entire community instead of trying to do right by them. P.S. - I love Kal Penn as an actor and as a person but the character he is playing in American Horror Story: NYC is a garbage human and I hope we get to see his comeuppance by the end of the season.

We then head over to Neptune Baths Health Club where the resident chanteuse Kathy Pizzaz (Patti LuPone) is performing "Fever" by Peggy Lee. Adam arrives and takes a seat at the bar. He notices a black and white photo of the same leather man ran into at the park and asks the bartender if he knows who the guy is. The bartender says he doesn't know who the man is but he knows who took the photograph. He points out Theo Graves (Isaac Powell) who appears to be pretty popular amongst the clientele.  

At the other end of the bar, Gino overhears the conversation with Adam and the bartender. He beckons him over and introduces himself. Gino tells Adam that the police won't help him but he will. He gives Adam his contact information. Adam goes to Theo's studio the following day and learns the identity of the masked man he saw in the park as well as in the photograph he saw in the bathhouse. Adam tells Theo that he thinks the same guy is hurting people and gives him his number to call if he finds out any more information on him. Theo rushes Adam out of the studio just in time for Sam (Zachary Quinto) to arrive. 

Sam is Theo's manager and boyfriend and it only took one line (no pun intended) for me to know this guy is bad news. Sam is every besuited businessman snorting coke off the coffee table we've ever encountered in an 80's movie and he and Theo have a really effed up romance. Sam accuses Theo of using him for his money and is trying to pressure him into going the porn route while Theo is content with the type of photography he is currently doing. Theo also senses that something dark is coming, which is where we first hear the title of the episode, but Sam seems unconcerned. Meanwhile, Patrick asks Gino about the significance of a blue handkerchief (a blue handkerchief was stuffed in the mouth of the severed head found earlier in the episode) and Gino tells him about the hanky code, a way for gay men to communicate their sexual interests. Patrick then tells Gino he is not authorized to investigate the recent murders and that he has to be careful about leaking information. He asks Gino to go to The Brownstone Bar on his behalf to gather information.

Patrick meets with his soon-to-be ex-wife named Barbara (Leslie Grossman) and presents her with divorce papers. The two of them have a pretty decent relationship considering the circumstances behind their relationship coming to an end. I also get the sense that Barbara is being as suportive as she can regarding Patrick being gay. She asks him why he married her and his answer seems genuine. Patrick, like so many gay men of his ilk, wanted to have the wife and family but ultimately he couldn't make it work. He tells her that he still loves her. It's a bittersweet scene but ultimately both of them seem better off apart than together. 

Gino heads over to the bar and chats with a regular named Henry (Denis O'Hare). Henry refuses to go on the record for Gino but he does give him a valuable piece of information: all of the serial killer's victims drink Mai Tais. When Gino goes to leave, he realizes he's been drugged. As he stumbles out of the bar, he is ushered into a car by a strange man. 

Sam is also at the Brownstone Bar and he's talking with an up and coming actor named Freddy (John Bubniak), arranging for him to be photographed by Theo as a means of garnering him exposure. Freddy arrives at Theo's studio and what starts as a homoerotic photoshoot turns into something a bit more scandalous when Sam flips over a wooden stool and asks him to sit on it. Freddy does follow through and Sam is pleased with the photos. When Freddy leaves, Theo asks Sam about Big Daddy. Sam gets upset and tells Theo that Big Daddy is dead. It should be noted that Big Daddy was standing outside of Theo's studio and that Sam seemingly acknowledges his presence. 

Adam meets up with Theo at the bathhouse and tells him about Big Daddy. Adam is perplexed because the person he saw in the photo is the same person he saw at the park the night Sully disappeared. Theo lives to go hook up and Adam is propositioned by Freddy. Adam declines his offer for sex and Freddy heads off to the steam room where he runs into Big Daddy. We end the episode the way we started with a very bleak scene and a sign of things to come. We find ourselves back on Fire Island with Dr. Hannah Wells as she watches a group of infected deer get slaughtered by the police. It's a harsh reminder of the storm that's about to come in the form of the AIDS epidemic. 

I'm gonna pause my reaction here and do my reaction to episode two in another post. This first episode feels very different from previous first episodes of American Horror Story. The characters, whether you loved them or hated them, felt really grounded. I really like Gino and a lot of that is due to Joe Mantello's acting. I also like Adam who reminds me a lot of myself in my earlier years. It's fun to see Leslie Grossman play someone so understated this season and I wonder how Barbara will be used in future episodes. The only character I dislike and it has nothing to do with the actor is Sam. Sam is a sleeze ball and I wonder what dark secrets he's hiding. The only character I'm truly on the fence about is Patrick. Patrick is giving me John Lowe (Wes Bentley) in "Hotel" vibes. I get the feeling he's a troubled individual but is he a bad guy? Cops, historically, on this show have turned out to be bad guys.

As for the episode itself - it felt surprisingly restrained in a way I'm not really used to with American Horror Story. As an avid fan of the show, I can also be one of its biggest critics. I've been a fan of Ryan Murphy since Popular and I have no problem admitting that while he swings big when it comes to film and television, he has just as many misses as hits. The same can be said about this show. Many would argue the show has lost the magic of the original seasons, but I think this episode is a promise of that magic returning. We're off to a great start. I just hope the writers can stick the landing at the end. 

I will post my reaction to episode two tomorrow. Until next time ...

[heytheredeann]

Out of time and out of place

Tags: Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Polyamory, It can be read either as all three of them together or a V relationship with Illya in the middle, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fake Character Death, Reunions, Crying, Napoleon Solo Needs a Hug and a Good Cry, (he gets both), Period-Typical Homophobia, (nothing too heavy just some wariness about being openly affectionate in public)            

Summary: When the crying starts, Napoleon doesn’t see it coming.

Notes: For the prompt "Presumed dead" from day 28 in the Febuwhump 2022 event. The title is from "Your Bones" by Of Monsters and Men. (Yes, this is the last day of the event. No, I am not done with these *cries*)

.

When Illya comes back, Gaby runs to him and hides her face and her tears in his chest, because those are only meant for very few people to see. Illya slowly wraps his arms around her in return, like she’s too delicate not to break, or maybe it’s just that he’s half-dead on his feet and he can’t move any faster.

No one bats an eye: everyone knows those two are a thing, it was to be expected.

Napoleon follows suit too fast to even wonder if he’s allowed a bigger show of affection than they’d usually indulge in, his mind too consumed by awe and relief and god, he’s alive—he’s gracelessly crashing against them before he can think to say a word, and Illya staggers for a moment, but he’s quick to free his arm from underneath him, wrapping it around Napoleon’s shoulders instead, pulling him closer as well.

With Gaby plastered at his side, a fistful of Illya’s shirt clutched between his fingers and his forehead tightly pressed against Illya’s shoulder, he breathes, tears pushing behind his eyes a little more with every bit of oxygen that enters into his lungs.

Fuck, he’s alive, he’s there, they really had thought—

Fuck, he’s going to start sobbing and never stop.

Except then the world starts spinning again, sound rushing to his ears, morphing into voices, and he comes back to himself, suddenly aware of how the safety of that embrace actually spells danger, how close Illya is, how it must look from the outside.

Well, shit.

He snorts, doing his best to make the crooked grin stick on his face, and it takes a few moments but he manages to unclench his fingers, turning the deathly grip on Illya’s shirt into a friendly pat on the back, then—then he somehow gathers enough will to pull back, his chest tearing open when he feels Illya’s arm slip away. He can’t for the life of him look at him in the eye as he does it, but he pushes harder against the tears, grins wider, squeezes his shoulder.

“Good to have you back, Peril,” he says, light and bright like someone who sure is relieved, because for better or worse that’s his partner, but whose life didn’t just start making sense again.

[More on Ao3]

[brightbeautifulthings]

Ready Player Two by Ernest Cline

"Some people define themselves by railing against all of the things they hate, while explaining why everyone else should hate it too. But not me. I prefer to lead with my love--to define myself through joyous yawps of admiration, instead of cynical declarations of disdain."

Year Read: 2022

Rating: 3/5

About: There are spoilers ahead for Ready Player One. Just days after Wade Watts and the High Five win James Halliday's legendary Easter Egg Hunt, Wade discovers that Halliday left behind a startling technology that will make the OASIS more immersive than ever. At the same time, a new quest manifests in the game for a mysterious prize, spawning a rival that will jeopardize the lives of millions of players in order to win. With the clock ticking down on them, the High Five are literally playing for their lives. Trigger warnings: character death, plane crash, explosions, guns, violence, severe injury, abduction, transphobia, homophobia, sexism.

Thoughts: I found Ready Player One generally enjoyable, but despite this being a second novel in a series, I still have the sense that Cline has no idea how to pace a book. This one starts rather awkwardly where the last left off and then has to do a lot of drudging exposition to catch us up to the present timeline, with some pointless wallowing in Wade's daily routine in the meantime. I'd say it's slow to start, but it's slow all around. As always, Cline's prose is dense, and I couldn't manage to read more than a hundred pages at a time without feeling bogged down in it. Take out all the pop culture references, and you'd have maybe fifty pages left.

That's not to say I don't enjoy the pop culture though (and, honestly, if you don't, why are you still reading these books?). While the first book is heavily steeped in 80s video game culture, which I don't quite relate to, it feels like he's making an effort to reach more readers by branching into film, music, and books with this one. On the one hand, it's going to appeal to more people generally, but on the other, it's doubtful that the whole thing is going to appeal to any one reader. It's hard to believe there are many diehard fans of Ninja Princess, John Hughes films, Prince, and Lord of the Rings. (I'll let you guess which two were fun for me, which one was whatever, and which one I had to grit my teeth to get through.) The most unrealistic part of this book is that Aech doesn't know the "One does not simply walk into Mordor" meme. I'm not buying that meme culture isn't alive and well in the OASIS, and everyone with a connection knows that reference, LOTR fan or not.

Cline seems to realize that Wade is the least interesting character in the series, since the High Five (Four) is quick to reconvene for this new quest, and miraculously each of them are an expert in one of those things. I enjoy every single character more than I enjoy him, and I was hopeful that a new character, a trans girl called L0hengrin, would get more page time, but sadly no. I've also read some blistering critiques of the way Wade reacts to her. It isn't cool but also isn't really a surprise, since he's shown himself to be, while not intentionally malicious, a remarkably tactless character on such things before. Let's not get started on whether a single female character in this series has any agency whatsoever. All in all, while there were sections I found enjoyable, I don't feel like this book expands on the first in any particularly interesting ways, and it's easily skipped for all but the most avid fans.

[writemarcus]

Black LGBTQ+ playwrights and musical-theater artists you need to know

These artists are producing amazing, timely work.

By Marcus Scott Posted: Friday July 24 2020, 4:56pm

Marcus Scott is a New York City–based playwright, musical writer, opera librettist and journalist. He has contributed to Elle, Essence, Out, American Theatre, Uptown, Trace, Madame Noire and Playbill, among other publications. Follow Marcus: Instagram, Twitter

We’re in the chrysalis of a new age of theatrical storytelling, and Black queer voices have been at the center of this transformation. Stepping out of the margins of society to push against the status quo, Black LGBTQ+ artists  have been actively engaged in fighting anti-blackness, racial disparities, disenfranchisement, homophobia and transphobia.

The success of Jeremy O. Harris’s Slave Play, Donja R. Love’s one in two and Jordan E. Cooper’s Ain’t No Mo’—not to mention Michael R. Jackson’s tour de force, the Pulitzer Prize–winning metamusical A Strange Loop—made that phenomenon especially visible last season. But these artists are far from alone. Because the intersection of queerness and Blackness is complex—with various gender expressions, sexual identifiers and communities taking shape in different spaces—Black LGBTQ+ artists are anything but a monolith. George C. Wolfe, Tarell Alvin McCraney, Branden Jacobs-Jenkins, Robert O’Hara, Harrison David Rivers, Staceyann Chin, Colman Domingo, Tracey Scott Wilson, Tanya Barfield, Marcus Gardley and Daniel Alexander Jones are just some of the many Black queer writers who have already made marks.

With New York stages dark for the foreseeable future, we can’t know when we will be able to see live works by these artists again. It is likely, however, that they will continue to play major roles in the direction American theater will take in the post-quarantine era—along with many creators who are still flying mostly under the radar. Here are just a few of the Black queer artists you may not have encountered yet: vital new voices that are speaking to the Zeitgeist and turning up the volume.

Christina Anderson A protégé of Paula Vogel’s, Christina Anderson has presented work at the Public Theatre, Yale Repertory Theatre, Penumbra Theatre Company, Playwrights Horizons and other theaters around the U.S. and Canada. She has degrees from the Yale School of Drama and Brown University, and  is a resident playwright at New Dramatists and Epic Theatre Ensemble; she has received the inaugural Harper Lee Award for Playwriting and three Susan Smith Blackburn Prize nominations, among other honors. Works include: How To Catch Creation (2019), Blacktop Sky (2013), Inked Baby (2009) Follow Christina: Website

Aziza Barnes Award-winning poet Aziza Barnes moved into playwriting with one of the great sex comedies of the 2010s: BLKS, which premiered at Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre Company in 2017 before it played at MCC Theatre in 2019 (where it earned a Lucille Lortel Award nomination). The NYU grad’s play about three twentysomethings probed the challenges and choices of Millennials with pathos and zest that hasn’t been seen since Kenneth Lonergan’s Gen X love/hate letter This Is Our Youth. Barnes is the author of the full-length collection of poems the blind pig and i be but i ain’t, which won a Pamet River Prize. Works include: BLKS (2017) Follow Aziza: Twitter

Troy Anthony Burton Fusing a mélange of quiet storm ‘90s-era Babyface R&B, ‘60s-style funk-soul and urban contemporary gospel, composer Troy Anthony has had a meteoric rise in musical theater in the past three years, receiving commissions and residencies from the Shed, Rattlestick Playwrights Theatre, Atlantic Theater Company and the Civilians. When Anthony is not crafting ditties of his own, he is an active performer who has participated in the Public Theater’s Public Works and Shakespeare In the Park. Works include: The River Is Me (2017), The Dark Girl Chronicles (in progress) Follow Troy: Instagram

Timothy DuWhite Addressing controversial issues such as HIV, state-sanctioned violence and structural anti-blackness, poet and performance artist Timothy DuWhite unnerves audiences with a hip-hop driven gonzo style. DuWhite’s raison d’être is to shock and enrage, and his provocative Neptune was, along with Donja R. Love’s one in two, one of the first plays by an openly black queer writer to address HIV openly and frankly.  He has worked with the United Nations/UNICEF, the Apollo Theater, Dixon Place and La MaMa. Works include: Neptune (2018) Follow Timothy: Instagram

Jirèh Breon Holder Raised in Memphis and educated at Morehouse College, Jirèh Breon Holder solidified his voice at the Yale School of Drama under the direction of Sarah Ruhl. He has received the Laurents/Hatcher Foundation Award and the Edgerton Foundation New Play Award, among other honors. His play Too Heavy for Your Pocket premiered at Roundabout Underground and has since been produced in cities including Los Angeles, Chicago, Des Moines and Houston; his next play, ...What The End Will Be, is slated to debut at the Roundabout Theatre Company. Works include: Too Heavy for Your Pocket (2017), What The End Will Be (2020) Follow Jirèh: Twitter

C.A. Johnson Born in Louisiana, rising star C.A. Johnson writes with a southern hospitality and homespun charm that washes over audiences like a breath of fresh air. Making a debut at MCC Theater with her coming of age romcom All the Natalie Portmans, she drew praise for empathic take on a black queer teenage womanchild with Hollywood dreams. A core writer at the Playwrights Center, she has had fellowships with the Dramatists Guild Fellow, Page 73, the Lark and the Sundance Theatre Lab. Works include: All the Natalie Portmans (2020) Follow C.A.: Twitter

Johnny G. Lloyd A New York-based playwright and producer, Johnny G. Lloyd has seen his work produced and developed at the Tank, 59E59, the Corkscrew Festival, the Samuel French Off-Off Broadway Short Play Festival and more. A member of the 2019-2020 Liberation Theatre Company’s Writing Residency, this Columbia University graduate is also a producing director of InVersion Theatre. Works include: The Problem With Magic, Is (2020), Or, An Astronaut Play (2019), Patience (2018) Follow Johnny: Instagram

Patricia Ione Lloyd In her luminous 2018 breakthrough Eve’s Song at the Public Theater, Patricia Ione Lloyd offered a meditation on the violence against black women in America that is often overlooked onstage. With a style saturated in both humor and melancholy and a poetic lyricism that evokes Ntozake Shange’s, the former Tow Playwright in Residence has earned fellowships at New Georges, the Dramatist Guild, Playwrights Realm, New York Theater Workshop and Sundance. Works include: Eve’s Song (2018) Follow Patricia: Instagram

Maia Matsushita The half-Black, half-Japanese educator and playwright Maia Matsushita has sounded a silent alarm in downtown theater with an array of slow-burn, naturalistic coming-of-age dramas. She was a member of The Fire This Time’s 2017-18 New Works Lab and part of its inaugural Writers Group, and her work has been seen at Classical Theatre of Harlem’s Playwright Playground and the National Black Theatre’s Keeping Soul Alive Reading Series. Works include: House of Sticks (2019), White Mountains (2018) Follow Maia: Instagram

Daaimah Mubashshir When Daaimah Mubashshir’s kitchen-sink dramedy Room Enough (For Us All) debuted at the Rattlestick Playwrights Theatre in 2019, the prolific writer began a dialogue around the contemporary African-American Muslim experience and black queer expression that made her a significant storyteller to watch. She is a core writer at the Playwrights Center in Minneapolis as well as a member of Soho Rep’s Writer/Director Lab, Clubbed Thumb’s Early Career Writers Group, and a MacDowell Colony Fellow. Her short-play collection The Immeasurable Want of Light was published in 2018. Works include: Room Enough (For Us All) (2019) Follow Daaimah: Twitter

Jonathan Norton Hailing from Dallas, Texas, Jonathan Norton is a delightfully zany playwright who subverts notions of post-blackness by underlining America’s obscure historical atrocities with bloody red slashes. The stories he tells carry a profound horror, often viewed through the eyes of black children and young adults. Norton’s work has been produced or developed by companies including the Actors Theatre of Louisville (at the 44th Humana Festival), PlayPenn and InterAct Theatre Company. He is the Playwright in Residence at Dallas Theater Center. Works include: Mississippi Goddamn (2015), My Tidy List of Terrors (2013), penny candy (2019) Follow Jonathan: Website

AriDy Nox Cooking up piping hot gumbos of speculative fiction, transhumanism and radical womanist expression, AriDy Nox is a rising star with a larger-than-life vision. The Spelman alum earned an MFA from NYU TIsch’s Graduate Musical Theatre Writing Program and has been a staple of various theaters such as Town Stages. A member of the inaugural 2019 cohort of the Musical Theatre Factory Makers residency, they recently joined the Public Theater’s 2020-2022 Emerging Writers Group cohort. Works include: Metropolis (in progress), Project Tiresias (2018) Follow AriDy: Instagram

Akin Salawu Akin Salawu’s nonlinear, hyperkinetic work combines heart-pounding suspense chills with Tarantino-esque thrills while excavating Black trauma and Pan-African history in America. With over two decades of experience as a writer, director and editor, the prize-winning playwright is a two-time Tribeca All Access Winner and a member of both the Public Theater’s Emerging Writers Group and Ars Nova’s Uncharted Musical Theater residency. A graduate of Stanford, he is a founder of the Tank’s LIT Council, a theater development center for male-identifying persons of color. Works include: bless your filthy lil’ heart (2019), The Real Whisperer (2017), I Stand Corrected (2008) Follow Akin: Twitter

Sheldon Shaw A playwright, screenwriter and actor, Sheldon Shaw studied writing at the Labyrinth Theater Company and was part of Playwrights Intensive at the Kennedy Center. Shaw has since developed into a sort of renaissance man, operating as playwright, screenwriter and actor. His plays have been developed by Emerging Artist Theaters New Works Festival, Classical Theater of Harlem and the Rooted Theater Company. Shaw's Glen was the winner of the Black Screenplays Matter competition and a finalist in the New York Screenplay Contest. Works include: Jailbait (2018), Clair (2017), Baby Starbucks (2015) Follow Johnny: Twitter

Nia O. Witherspoon Multidisciplinary artist Nia Ostrow Witherspoon’s metaphysical explorations of black liberation and desire have made her an in-demand presence in theater circles. The recipient of multiple honors—include New York Theatre Workshop’s 2050 Fellowship, a Wurlitzer Foundation residency and the Lambda Literary’s Emerging Playwriting Fellowship—she is currently developing The Dark Girl Chronicles, a play cycle that, in her words, “explores the criminalization of black cis and trans women via African diaspora sacred stories.” Works include: The Dark Girl Chronicles (in progress) ​Follow Nia: Instagram

Brandon Webster A Brooklyn-based musical theatre writer and dramaturg, Brandon Webster has been a familiar figure in the NYC theater scene, both onstage and behind the scenes. With an aesthetic that fuses Afrofuturist and Afrosurrealist storytelling, with a focus on Black liberation past and present, the composer’s work fuses psychedelic soul flourishes with alt-R&B nuances to create a sonic smorgasbord of seething rage and remorse. He is an alumnus of the 2013 class of BMI Musical Theater Workshop and a 2017 MCC Theater Artistic Fellow. Works include: Metropolis (in progress), Headlines (2017), Boogie Nights (2015) Follow Brandon: Instagram

[rknchan]

sorry i cannot really understand whats going on but i want to share all the info i know about attitude to homophobia and fanfiction websites and censorship in russian government (im russian; speaking from my experience only!)

there used to be a law forbidding "LGBT propaganda" for children; that meant all the media showing queer people, esp in a neutral/positive light, was rated 18+

not so long ago a new law was approved - now "lgbt propaganda" is forbidden for EVERYONE no matter the age (just a fun fact: this law was supported by anton krasovsky, a government official and huge war enthusiast who is openly gay) and many media resources with queer content were banned

our most popular fanfiction website is called ficbook; after the law had been released, ficbook moderators were threatened into announcing: from now on there will be a more strict moderation regarding lgbt content (as well as pedophilia and zoophilia bcs our government thinks theyre all the same) many users were worried that fem/slash content would be deleted. some moved to other websites like ao3 or fanficus, some tried to censor themselves out of fear, deleting their content or putting long silly ass disclaimers in their profiles or fics, like "the content below contains mention of degeneracy proceed with caution". thats a whole story so far, despite all the threats ficbook is still alive ??? and fem/slash fics are still aviable here

now speaking about the government of course the Homophobia Secretary Ivan Ivanovich is a joke but its not so far from reality we have th ministry of culture which is all keen on forcing traditional values, which only increased since 2022 there is roskomnadzor, an organ for governmental control over internet and media but all these mfs know nothing about the internet there is also a "league of internet safety", a society led by mizulina, idk if its related to the government but theyre powerful af. they cancelled a concert of a russian musical band for performing a song about a pregnant schoolgirl?? which was satiric as far as i know?? and are going to make the band apologise mizulina also had a meeting with instasamka (a russian singer of the "sucking and fucking" song genre) and is trying to also make her apologise and only sing songs without sexual themes or swearing (i dont know if she suceeded)

SORRY FOR THE OFF TOPIC sorry for my bad english and in case i spread misinformation feel free to correct anyway i hope it was helpful

I've heard that the supposed ao3 hacking group is actually Russian in origin. It fits their MO - Russia is *wildly* anti-LGBTQ. I've heard from Russian folks that ao3 is banned there because of "moral degeneracy". Aka putin doesn't like it

youve just got the dictionary definition of this going on

[smokefalls]

Title: Your Emergency Contact Has Experienced an Emergency Author: Chen Chen Publication Year: 2022 Publisher: BOA Editions, Ltd. Genre: poetry, queer lit

Equally heartwarming and heartbreaking, Chen Chen’s second poetry collection hits hard with his exploration of family relations (blood and chosen), as well as the queer Asian American identity. These poems very much so reflect on being alive in and part of a beautiful yet also fucked up world (especially in the United States).

A lot of love and care went into each poem, and I loved the way Chen expressed himself so freely, not only in form but in switching between languages as well. Because, sometimes, English is simply not enough to express oneself, especially when one is stuck in the in-betweens of cultures.

I was especially taken to the “a small book of questions” poems, finding Chen’s reflections especially when he was writing about his mother—poignant. Another lovely collection from Chen, and I look forward to his next work.

Some favorites: “we’ll be gone after these brief messages,” the “a small book of questions” poems, “Elegy While Listening to a Song I Can’t Help But Start to Move to,” “One Year Later: A Letter,” “Origin Story,” and “Spring Summer Autumn Winter”

Content Warning: homophobia, racism, death, mentions of mass shootings

[catsbooksandbees]

Book 49 of 2022!

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Fifteen Hundred Miles From the Sun by Jonny Garza Villa

Julian has a plan for his life. Graduate, get to UCLA, and have the chance to move away from Texas and the suffocating expectations of others that have forced Jules to live an inauthentic life. Then, in one reckless moment, with one impulsive tweet, his plans for a low-key nine months are thrown out of the closet. The downside: the whole world knows, and Jules has to prepare for rejection. The upside: Jules has the opportunity to be his real self. Then Mat, a cute and empathetic Twitter crush from Los Angeles, slides into Jules’s DM’s. Jules can tell him anything. When his fears about coming out come true, the person he needs most is fifteen hundred miles away, and he has to face them alone.

Content Warnings: racism, abandonment, physical abuse, homophobia, emotional abuse, bullying, sexual content, panic attacks/disorders, death of parent, suicidal thoughts

What Did I Think?

This was a very cute and wholesome book balanced with some very dark truths of being queer in a unaccepting area. It was also very “up to date”, including a lot of Gen Z interests and such, which a lot of new young adult books can fail to do sometimes. It included resources on how to help people struggling, as well. I think this is something a lot of teenagers will be able to relate to as well as enjoy.

I think, for me, it fell a little flat. It was one of those books where I could feel the writer writing it, if that makes sense. Sometimes, the characters and the story really come alive on the page, but for this one I just knew they weren’t. It also felt a little too planned and emotionally detached in other areas.

That doesn’t mean I don’t recommend it though! I just think I maybe wasn’t the books’ target audience.

Popsugar - “A Book by a Latinx Author”

52 Book Club - “Title Starting with the Letter F”

[subtletruamadumping]

We're Family

______________________________________________________________

I am still struggling with accepting that certain family members will never treat me with respect. No matter how many times they claim they love me, they will always act the opposite. I'm still holding out hope, even if it's foolish.

TW: Homophobia, Religious Imagery

Date Written: January 16, 2022

______________________________________________________________

I still had hope for my sister. She hadn’t said anything when mom and I were having our big fight. Sure, she hadn’t jumped in to defend me, but she also hadn’t taken mom’s side to damn me to hell the instant the words were out of my mouth. The part of my heart that still likes to see the best in people believed that her silence might be her mulling things over, noticing how awfully and hurtfully mom had reacted. Sure, she hadn’t texted me in a few months, but we hadn’t texted very often before the fight. I was delighted to receive an email from her. She loves to write poetry and she’s always asking me to read them over. That’s what I thought the document she had attached to the email she had sent to me and her college friends was going to be. As my phone loaded in her words typed in her latest favorite curly font, my heart sank. “Why Does God Allow Suffering if He’s Good?” the title read. I scrolled further to find her explanation in the first paragraph.

She had decided to change her major from music theory, the thing she had been working towards since 4th grade, to Theology. My fears of mom’s influence completely taking over had finally come true. She didn’t want me to read over her poetry; she wanted me to read her practice of Catholic Apologetics. She wanted me to help her get better at converting people to the same religion that mom used as an excuse to throw her terrible words at me. I read further into her author’s note. It was clear to me she assumed I’d agree with her point of view, that she’d have a friend on her side defending her deranged beliefs. Another Catholic forcing their way into people’s minds to shame them into joining the cult.

That wasn’t going to be me. I texted her privately, not in the group chat that my mom likes to continuously harass me though. I explained to her I was not going to be on her side for these kinds of conversations. I was no longer brainwashed into believing Sky Daddy only ever did good things and everyone suffering had done it to themselves. I told her I’d be willing to have these discussions with her, but that I would be arguing against her, not with her. She seemed quite taken aback by this. I’m not sure why it came as a shock. Why would I continue to believe that God is good when I’ve seen what he does to people? I told her I didn’t want the reason we stopped talking to be her religious views. I was still doing my best to see the best in her. She said she agreed and I was ecstatic. She removed my name from her emailing list so I wouldn’t get these documents in the future and I thought things had ended well.

She hasn’t spoken to me sense. It’s funny how “we’re family” only applies when you're trying to change my beliefs. The minute I question yours, you disappear. Around the same time, mom begins to blow up my phone. Text after text, day after day. I work the night shift. I have for years, yet she always sends her cryptic texts at noon, or one, or two. Always when I’m dead asleep. They’re pointless.

“Hello?”

“Are you alive?”

“Call me.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I am your mother.”

“We’re family.”

I finally have a day off and reply back, explaining that I was asleep when she was texting me. She goes off on me for ignoring her, saying how awful of a daughter I am. She demands to know why I won’t call her, why I have no desire to talk to her. I blink at the words on my phone screen. How could she not know? Surely, she was trying to get a rise out of me. I still take the bait. After all these years, I haven’t learned my lesson. I remind her of the fight, of how she'd rather me die alone or be in a miserable marriage than be able to actually be with someone I loved. I don’t even get the chance to bring up how many times she belittled, bullied, and berated me. She cuts me off, doubling down. She tells me the minute she can vote for someone who will repeal gay marraige, she will. She tells me I shouldn’t have rights because I’m dirty and that I deserve to burn in hell. Somehow, she still expects me to want to talk to her, to call her up out of the blue. She expects me to wreck my sleeping schedule, bend over backwards, and listen to her shout awful things at me through the phone. Just like my coming out, this conversation did not end well. I received an angry text when I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. That was the last time she spoke to me.

I’m not sure which one, but someone snitched on me to my grandma. In a similar vein to mom, she started sending me text after text. After I ignored them all, I received a letter in the mail. She clearly outlined in this letter how stupid I was. How I was such a dimwitted, hateful, sheep that was only doing what the crowd told me to do. It was clear to her I needed to go back to church, clearly the only brainwashing she approves of. She demanded I call her, expressly telling me that she was going to debate me on my sexuality. As if she knew better than I did who I get horny for. She demanded why I would do such a selfish thing by choosing such a sinful lifestyle. She wanted to know how I could possibly put my own feelings before those of the rest of the families.

I never answered her letter or called her like she wanted. Despite what my family thinks, I am strong enough in my sexuality that I don’t feel the need to debate them on it. I know my mother and grandmother will not change their minds and will only use any contact they have as an excuse to continue their beratement of me. My grandma continues to text me daily, demanding I pray for her, sending me pictures of prayers she takes with her shitty phone camera. She demands I pay attention to her, listen to her judging and condemning me. She sends me old pictures of when I was anorexic, begging to know why I had changed.

“Didn’t you look so much better when you were a good Catholic girl?”

“Why can’t I get this version of you back?”

“Six years ago was such a different time.”

“Don’t you miss this? I do.”

“Don’t shut us out of your life just because you’re mad at your mom.”

“You’re being immature.”

“All kids fight with their mom.”

“You’ll regret turning your back on God.”

“And us.”

“We’re family, after all.”

[riverdamien]

Temenos Catholic Worker Newsletter-July, 2022

Temenos Catholic Worker

Peniel, July 2022

"Where Jacob Walked With God!"

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

www.temenos.org

415-305-2124

Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min.,D.S.T.

PRIDE, 2022

Journal of an Alien Street Priest:

San Francisco Pride, yesterday, was full of protest over the recent Supreme Court decision and full of joy, and pride over the freedom the LGBTQ community enjoys today.

For over twenty years Temenos has been in charge of the Accessibility area, where seniors and people with disabilities sit.

We had youth working, as you can see from our photos:

From different backgrounds, one homeless youth, and three others worked for us on this Pride Sunday.

Looking back through the years, seeing the countless youth we have worked with at Pride and all the youth they represent, witnessing their pain, confusion, fears, and desperation, we cry, we smile, and we give thanks to God for allowing us )and I mean all of us) the honor.

People often wrestle with what we do, and looking at the faces of these young people--they are what we do. Listening, simply listening moment to moment, giving them of our time, the two greatest gifts of all.

A number of years ago an outreach worker from another agency walked with me on the street. And as we always do we listened, gave food, and socks, and moved on. Sometimes we listened for an hour. In the end, this young worker, commented, "We have to carry a clipboard and check off how many people we see, required to talk with a certain number, and only certain ages, you simply spend time with everyone, and for as long as needed. How awesome that is."

Our ministry is that of a pastor, who listens, and shepherds his flock. We hurt, we cry, and suffer along with these guys.

Sitting at the base of a statue yesterday waiting for two of our workers, a young man, dressed in a skimpy leather outfit was crying. Someone had taken a picture of him and sent it to his dad. He said his dad would beat him because he was gay. He was afraid to go home. I gave him a card and told him to call me if that happened. I hear stories similar to his day in and day out. Homophobia is well and alive! San Francisco is different than most parts of the country and California itself. Homophobia is WELL AND ALIVE. It is deadly!

Today's lesson from Matthew 8:18-22  where Jesus calls all of us to follow him with radical discipleship. He understands the way discipleship can be challenging, which is how we get to the non sequitur: "Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.'

We might read that line, wonder at the meaning, and simply move on, but it has meaning for us today. If we say that we will follow Jesus wherever he leads, do we understand that it will not be easy, that we too may find ourselves with nowhere to rest our heads?

We don't get salvation without sacrifice, without embracing the radical--letting the safety nets drop away and trusting that God is the only security measure we need.  Jesus calls us to embrace the radical! 

To go out and feed the hungry, clothe the naked, sit with the dead and dying, to walk and listen, and protest until our government leaders listen! Following Jesus is radical! 

Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

------------------------

This month we will continue our basic schedule of outreach five days and nights a week; talking to people on snap chat and phone.

Thank you for your support during this first half of the year and hope you will remember us during July, money is short, and expenses for supplies continue to be needed.

When I  use "we" I simply mean those who have supported us financially, and with prayer are walking on the street as well, symbolically.

Again we are beggars and we thank you for your support!

P.O. Box 642656

Paypal and website: www.temenos.org

------------------

[soundonreadings]

Sound On InstaReadings Series Volume 3 with Amber Dawn, Amy Leblanc & Nancy Lee

Welcome to Sound on InstaReadings Series. Our second installment features readers Amber Dawn, Amy Leblanc & Nancy Lee and is hosted by Dina Del Bucchia and David Ly. Posted here for your enjoyment are the bios of our fine readers and the text of their readings. Thanks!

Amber Dawn is the author of five books and the editor of three anthologies. Her sophomore poetry collection, My Art Is Killing Me and Other Poems, launched in March 2020.

Reading text:

fountainhead 

Sure, I’ve tossed three pennies over my left shoulder into Trevi 

Fountain in Rome, but the mermaid fountain in Piazza Sannazaro

Napoli is my favourite. Napoli is a city of mermaids. I lost count 

of mermaids. Two tailed and bathing in cracked frescos. Marble 

reliefs carved into arched doorways. Mermaid faces on old coins. 

I almost bought myself a tears of Parthenope necklace. A gold 

chain hung with two blue teardrop shaped Swarovski crystals. 

Parthenope and her sisters swam (or flew, myth shows sirens as half 

bird or half fish. Either femme beast works) to Ulysses’ ship to curse 

him with their song, but Ulysses tied himself to the mast, stopped 

his ears with wax and withstood. The entire crew of men survived

simply by not listening, so the story goes and goes. The defeated 

mermaids wept at their failure and filled the bay of Naples. 

Parthenope died from the shame and was swept ashore. Her blonde hair 

turned to sand and her body, stone. A beach I myself have walked along. 

I audibly sobbed before the gorgeous baroque blood of Artemisia

Gentileschi’s famous Judith Slaying Holoferneson, on permanent 

display at the Uffizi. A man my father’s age asked me nine 

times to leave the gallery with him. One of the only Italian 

expressions I know so well that my subconscious has spoken 

it back to me in dreams is lasciami stare. It means leave me be. 

I drank too much at the strip club in Pescara, Abruzzo as a topless dancer 

listed the times homophobia nearly killed her. I understood her perfectly

when she asked what Canada is like. Is there libertà per lesbi in Canada? 

I furiously recorded the words that I misunderstood in a notebook 

as if I might one day retroactively follow meaning. I couldn’t call 

upon language fast enough to console her in real time. I couldn’t say 

fuck this shit, I’m sorry or chin up, tits out, you know or you

deserve better, femme. I’ve come to associate speaking half a language

or less than half, a tender handful of comprehension, with being 

a survivor of sexual violence. My body has breath and spasm where it

should have words. My body can picture ease and desire, but is forever 

learning how to say what it wants. I’ve spent a humbple lifetime looking 

for others who labour to live inside their skin  My kink is to loudly love those 

who’ve been told to keep quiet. Erotic boom. I want outlaster’s love. Against-

all-odds love. I, finally, want myself, and slick fluency in this desire.  

While in Napoli I wrongly read a museum label to say that Parthenope 

wished to marry Circe the sorceress. I read queer determination, and imagine 

how that beach might feel if my mistranslation was an origin story.  

Image if the grounds we walk were build from queer love? What song

would our queer scion sing six thousand years from now? What shape 

would story take? If our bodies were fluid loose, waxy and loud 

and fluent in our madrelingue, in a kin spit, in the looped vernaculars 

we have long deserved, then imagine what words we’d know so well 

that even our subconscious could speak this love back to us in our dreams 

tragic interview

An anagram for “creative writing” is “tragic interview”

We will ask you if it is true

We will ask you how true it is 

We will ask you where you’re from

We will ask you to verify you belong

We will ask you about vice and god 

We will ask you to legitimize blood 

We will ask for a pathos worthy childhood

We will ask you about your thronged body 

We will ask why you inhabit both and many 

We will ask if your kin tolerates such veracity 

We will ask if you’ve told the whole story

We will ask if you are attracted to danger

We will ask you if your shame overlingers 

We will ask for trauma to be in past tense

We will ask you to narratively arc triumph 

We will ask you to lip service progress 

We will ask you about free speech 

We will ask to contract your name 

We will ask you to trouble in stereotypes 

We will ask you stroke those fleshy ethics 

We will ask how outsiders may write about you

We will ask you for your blanket endorsement 

We will ask you wax widespread as hot and now

We will ask you attest to your own exceptionalism

We will ask to couch your fine ass in the theoretical 

We will ask you to table round with your enemies  

We will ask that you prove pain makes great art 

We will ask you to represent en masse

We will ask you to do it for less 

We will ask for your free consultation 

We will ask you to recommend your own

We will ask where do you find the time

We will ask you to exalt your labour 

We will ask if your success is a surprise 

We will ask if you’re surprised to be alive

We will ask you to front face as the hero

We will ask you exhibit the future possible

We will ask how the next gen will fathom and ken

We will ask for a kind offering to the institution 

We will ask you for the ever positive spin 

We will ask you cleave homage and imitation 

We will ask your craft for credible dimension 

We will ask if the work appears to be uneven

We will ask you to trial your live version  

We will ask you how true it is 

We will ask you if it is true

Dear IncorrectName: found and redacted from my inbox

Please allow me to introduce myself as the OfficialTitle at the College_University_ GovernmentFundedInstitution. At my InstitutionalPlaceOfEmployment we are Studying_OtheringtheLivingHellOutof Prostitution in Canada_FeministViews
on Prostitution_ProstitutionExploitationTrafficking_and other topics related                       to your “hellish existence.”

Your book How Poetry Saved My Life is on my students’ critical book review list alongside TextsbyFeministsWhoHateYou and UnethicalResearchers. I feel strong- ly that your perspective would contribute to my students’ learning. Sorry
for the ridiculously late notice, but I want to invite you to visit our class
next Friday. I do not have funds for guest speakers, but I would be happy to offer
a $50 honorarium from my own SalarythatIsFourTimesWhatyouEarnedLastYear and parking permit for the day. Please let me know if this would work for you.

Dear IncorrectName

I am writing on behalf of the AcademicConferenceWithA$200+FeePerAttendee. Part of this year’s goal is to include a performance “cabaret” [erroneous use
of quotation marks for reasons unknown] that will feature any or all varieties
of literary performance (spoken word, performance poetry, slam poetry, sound poetry, etc) with a focus on the voices of diverse populations.

Your presence at this “cabaret” would be of great value
to the conference attendees in their role as AnalyticalOnlookers.

I have heard back from the PlanningCommittee regarding finances and what we can offer you is a BelowStandardArtistFee honorarium, but we are tight so__could you accept a conference pass? We have several other authors who are only getting conference passes. So paying you is a bit of a “double standard” [substantiated use of quotation marks] and there might be hard feelings. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Dear IncorrectName

WeAreOtherArtists. We’d love if you would come to OurSHOW and read
your work_talk about your work_talk about your life_talk about the state of our community_talk about doing work in community. No hard hitting talk_just talk talk_casual talk. You would be fabulous. Our stage is yours
for one hour. We expect around 150 guests.

This is your opportunity to reach a large crowd.

We don’t offer you an appearance fee, but you will see OurVision is VeryInnovative.

Dear Amber Dawn
I  am a Writer_Artist_BodyThatisHoldingStory.

I have always loved &admired your work &it would be an honour to have your feedback. It would be awesome if you could read my ScriptCollectionNovelOutlineTreatise &give me some honest &brutal feedback. Read it whenever you want! I hope I see
you in person soon! I can come by your office. Do you still work at ArtsCommunityJob_ FrontLineSupport_DropIn_HeathCentre_CollegeUniversity?

I am HoldingaStory &it is PAINFUL. How did you write your first book?

I have always wanted to be             a writer. 

Did it feel                    like a relief
to get that first book out?

How do you read in front of all those people &do interviews &does your mom 

still speak to you? I’m afraid                    of my parents
&hometown &people 

I used to know                             &MySurvivorsStory &what 

people will think if I                           SpeakMyTruth.

What do you like about being a writer

Amy LeBlanc is an MA student in English Literature and creative writing at the University of Calgary. She is currently non-fiction editor at filling Station magazine and will be assuming the role of Managing Editor in July. She is the author of three books: her debut poetry collection, I know something you don’t know, was published with Gordon Hill Press in March 2020. Her novella, Unlocking, will be published by the UCalgary Press in 2021. Pedlar Press will publish her short story collection, Homebodies, in 2022. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Room, PRISM International, EVENT, Prairie Fire, CV2, and the Literary Review of Canada among others. She was recently a finalist for the Minola Review Inaugural Fiction Contest judged by Heather O’Neill.

Reading Text:

Wintering

 He torched the skin that I’m still in. 

Counting Januarys— 

I hold my hair

to sing psalms

and semi vowels.

The wasps bloat with 

my belly in December, 

gashing panty lines

and pot holes.

The burnt space will tear from my hips.

I am a calamity

asking for armistice. 

   The storied life of Grace Poole

         She dangled striated

         scarves from the window

         rattling her head as I

         held her waist.

 He told me to keep her

quiet, to keep her safe, compliant—

this significant

paranoia

that she might be

         vaulting

         purging

         dancing

         like red fiber from rafters.

          She tells me

         my hair reminds her

         of a fox. My brush is

         a signal to enemy lines:

         her lips parting

         on a stolen glass

         of honey soaked wine.

 She and I

watch the tree,

as it splits and succumbs

in the orchard, a slit

where the tree was licked

with a voltage charged tongue.

 She says that it will never

be the same again.  

 We are both behind

the lock and chain, but

I can abscond

to the halls and gates.

         She lingers behind

         the latch—

         her fingers

         entwined in a lock

         of my red hair.

 We are curious bedfellows

with sweetness on our thighs,

         the topographical curving

         of bones and banks.

She is hers and I am mine.

 I will never ask

for more than the chill

of her hands that cool me

until I drown.  

         She won’t jump with someone

         to hush the light.

   Girls reading in red coats

– For Paula Jean Welden

 She tucked a book

into the folds of her red coat 

when she left her room.

 She felt the spine against her ribs,

and the edges of paper wrapping

around her skin:

a pair of legs in a claw foot tub

a little birth with a belly full of rocks.

 The book would last her

the better part of three days.

 She buttoned a scarf to her throat

and picked bloodroot and ate carrots,

nine almonds a day with a glass of water.

 She expected to wander and to find an altar

in the trees, in the wasps, in moist roots

and the mud that caught her heels.

 She freed insects from jars that never held water

and heard a rattling sound

in her bone marrow,

in her ears eyes hands and teeth.

 They searched and searched,

but she stayed hidden at her altar

or the meeting point

of her own sternum and her spine.

 She read her book

in her red buttoned coat.

 She thought about ivy

and garden walls,

moths that bleed cyanide,

women in turtlenecks,

wine and cake and uncomfortable pantyhose.

 Her coat, red as pomegranate seeds

trailed behind her, moist and well-watered.

 Her exposed belly could cut open letters

and bloodroot was the bedrock of her spine.

 Her book had moistened in the rain,

so she made an herbarium

and slept in the vines.

 Stripping the moths of their poison,

she dripped them over a porringer

and encouraged them to dry.

 When her fingernails rooted to the paper,

she swallowed herself whole. 

The brief reincarnation of Mary Webster on the Amtrak from Boston to New York

Leaves clung to the woman’s shoe


and hair hung from the sides of her face.

 It had rained for a week.

 She’d eaten a biscuit,


then fell asleep on the train

to the hissing until the low whistle sang.

 The man across the aisle

was watching her sleep.

 He pretended to read his newspaper

licked his inked fingers,


smudged editorials, blurred black

and white photos with spit on his hands.

 She dreamt about being a cat, a fox,

an apple hanging from a tree.                         

 She opened her eyes and found


the man had moved to sit beside her.

 He’d been so silent,


she’d hardly felt the air move.

 He held out a cigarette


which she placed between her lips.

 When his hand shifted closer to her hip,

she put her bag between them


and asked if he had ever played scrabble:

 He played cart,


she played cruel,


he played slick,

she played sway,


he played cyan,


she won by adding an i and a d and an e.

 She sent him back to his side

of the train with a biscuit

wrapped in a napkin

and a half-drunk mug of tea.

 She returned to her dream of the hanging fruit,

felt her small body sway in the breeze

until the train arrived in New York.

   Hereafter

He says that she’s unattractive, but the subtext is that he doesn’t like girls who are more comfortable in their skin than he is

with his masculinity. He made me realize I can stop apologizing to the mannequins I run into—stop slipping confession notes into the books

I read for whomever needs them after me. I don’t apologize to the boy who left his gum between my knees, because my arteries continue

to pump and my feet fit into my shoes without him. The amassment of buildings and bodies and dealmakers and white men tells me that I don’t

need to rip eyelashes out for wishes. I’ve learned that the squeaky wheel gets taken away. The arbiter of wineries, golf clubs, mortgages,

window frames, casinos, finds that these are grasping at the ceiling, fingers spread into spider webs. In this bottom-less wanting,

unnecessary roughness earns you a slap on the shoulder and an extra hour of locker room talk. We learn to grab back (if sex happens before

you wanted it) with chemicals between our fingers. I burn my throat on oatmeal and my skin turns to scales– my pages are dog-eared

from turning corners too soon. In this one hundred and forty character locale, I’ll blast out a constant reminder that

this mimeograph heart won’t be stopping any time soon.

Nancy Lee is the author of two critically acclaimed works of fiction, Dead Girls and The Age, and a new poetry collection, What Hurts Going Down (McClelland & Stewart). Her poems have recently appeared in Ploughshares, The Adroit Journal, The Puritan, Arc Poetry Magazine and The Malahat Review. She teaches at the University of British Columbia and lives in Steveston, BC with her husband, the author John Vigna, and their jerk of a dog, Rudy the cardigan welsh corgi.

Reading Text: 

four-eyed girls 

I’m sitting at the bar with Mary Katherine Gallagher watching prospects grind hope into anything blond. 

I’ve peeled off wool tights so my pleated skirt flashes white cotton panties when I cross and uncross. No one notices. 

For fun, we switch eyeglasses. In hers, I drown. Fish wriggle and shimmer, groove beyond my reach. She says, 

Through these glasses everyone looks thinner. She says, Why aren’t there more girls like us in movies? I tell her 

there are plenty, floating in rivers, folded in dumpsters, naked, nameless. She says, It’s time for another shooter. 

Something to clean the sink, something the bartender will set on fire, something that hurts going down. 

no place for a heart 

Start a fire with women’s bodies; stack them deep for heat. What keeps a kind girl alive in the wild? The men in town are crapshoots, sawbucks, coins striking heads and tails. They post naked snaps of her on 4chan, ferry fifteen-year- olds across state lines, weigh options like: hands up her skirt, hands around her throat. She’s ready for a chorus of frogs, a convent timeshare, ready to train a dildo to mow the lawn. Abandon romance. This one’s for mothers who catch their boyfriends fingering their daughters. Here’s to bff date rape in the old man’s sedan. Today a high school football coach showed cheerleaders the glory of his half- hard penis in a hot dog bun, tomorrow a man will cram his wife into a Naugahyde suitcase and drag her to the river. It’s so fucking hot inside; she isn’t surprised. 

alphas 

i. At three a.m., lip gloss and crop tops wasted in empty clubs, only you are brave enough for new terrain. We hunt at a crawl, every gin joint gated, marquee dim. On the boulevard, we roll down windows to watch a coyote lope, head bowed. A bloody rabbit swings from his jaw. I tell you he’s my first. 

ii. Alphas beside the car. Caps pulled, track suits baggy, shoulders rolling, chests sunk, a lazy jog with beer cans, sidewalk be damned. The pack must get hungry at three a.m. They stare through glass, blow their liquored smoke. I say, Ask where they’re going. You shake your head. The night is wild with them. 

iii. Once, in a town on the coast you chose celibacy over the hazard of ocean men, woodsmen, mountain men, unwashed hair in pelts. Men with thick paws, bark faces, who stank of wood chip, coal dust, fish. When they entered your bed tangled in nets and splinters snuffled wet muzzles to your neck, you played dead. 

iv. Now you raise two hatchlings in a sanctuary. You pound fence posts, lay tripwire, stock bear bangs, kneel at the water to check muddy ground for tracks. Satellites beam our hushed talk of coyotes, mangy middle-aged cheeks, half-eaten carcasses, how they chew old wounds, cut and run. We forget their feral cologne, teeth and charm, until they startle us from the stupor of married sleep. 

daughters 

i. Tell the daughters we were heartless, crouched behind trees with rusted wire. That flanks bucked as we bled the bodies on beds of pine, stabbed with flint blades and the ends of spoons from a grandmother’s hope chest. Eyes whaled white, pupils drained of ink. One by one in the fog of morning, we scrubbed them from our petticoats. 

ii. Stretched and sticky in the sourdough starter, shovels scraping the stable floor, scouring water in the tin tub, sewing flecked with blood. A childhood bridled, saddled, stung with lye, hung to cure in salt and sun. No one believed what their eyes didn’t see, what gnawed through a girl, rustled her work-worn body in the brush. 

iii. Did they even want daughters? Sons so adored, rut-hungry, bottle-weak, sloppy work with a scythe. Who didn’t know his charm, the lanolin musk of his wool? And what if all daughters turned to ghosts? Whale bone, sadness, smoke. Tell them, it was kill or be killed. Tell them, we shivered for days beside their cribs, then stood to answer our own prayers.   

wife at the end of the world 

Fever on the streets as our planet swings closer to the sun, as ocean levels rise, biohazard atomizes, nuclear runoff seeps. Lives mundane 

with disaster. At the store, we snipe over which canned soup has more nutrition, chunky or creamy, which shattered pack of crackers 

has mice. A stock boy with peeling palms counts water bottles, while outside, men in lab coats debate timelines of extinction. 

I climb into a shelf for the last box of oats, and a woman in full makeup, French twist, purse dangling from a charmed wrist, stretches 

on tanned legs to help my husband reach a can of waxed beans. Her fingers pulse his biceps. His eyes finish her like a meal. 

My T-shirt smells of dead guinea pig, and I wish for one last bolt of catastrophe: a fissure, a sinkhole in the dry goods aisle. 

So that weeks from now, it will be my hair unravelled, flecked with debris, my ash-smeared skin in a strappy slip as I lie beside a naked man 

whose name I do not ask. Too busy tracking diseased dogs with my night scope and rifle, too busy brewing carboys of anti-toxin, 

wielding my flamethrower against mutant spiders, too busy calculating orbit-altering supernovas to settle for repopulating the earth.