#hope you explode
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pitiflangas777 Ā· 8 months ago
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hahdjajsl happy borthay stanmarsh I hope you explode
never ask a man his salary
never ask a woman her age
never ask pitiflangas what the fuck he's trying to do with Stan's hair
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katzx0 Ā· 1 year ago
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yippie fluttershy
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chloesimaginationthings Ā· 4 months ago
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Yarnaby's story in poppy playtime is tragic,,
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egophiliac Ā· 5 months ago
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looking at next month's schedule and between the end of 7-12 and the wishing lantern event it's like
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February is officially RIDDLE MONTH, brace yourselves to be absolutely blasted into ashes everybody
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lotus-pear Ā· 26 days ago
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shadowmilk like YOU can be talking 😐
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teaboot Ā· 4 months ago
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YOOOOO CHECK THIS SHIT OUT I FOUND BATTERY-OPERATED AM/FM RADIO HEADPHONES
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I’M NEVER USING WIFI DATA SPOTIFY ITUNES YOUTUBE MUSIC APP SHIT OUTSIDE MY HOUSE EVER AGAIN
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machveil Ā· 8 months ago
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I can't resist the siren call
Roommate!Simon Riley that low-key enjoys fucking with your friends Y/N
subtle foreshadowing… I suppose I can dip into my nsfw Roommate!Simon Riley thoughts
Roommate!Simon Riley who shares a laundry bin with you, it had been agreed a long time ago that just doing a big load would be easier. you takes turns, knowingly stealing each other’s clothes every couple days when the laundry is fresh out the machine. you know Simon took an oversized t-shirt you owned, but that’s okay, you took his favorite gym hoodie
Roommate!Simon Riley who doesn’t get embarrassed about his underwear being in the bin with yours, it’s all going in the machine anyways. that doesn’t stop him from raising an eyebrow though when his favorite boxers go missing. he was sure he put them in with the dirties, well, the cleans now. he figures the machine ate it, or maybe they’ll show up some day by chance - he shrugs it off and separates his clothes from yours, snagging one of your oversized sweaters to lounge in later
Roommate!Simon Riley who freezes when he sees you on the couch that night. eyes wide and jaw slack, he can’t bring himself to move. sat watching something on the tv - he can’t be bothered to acknowledge whats playing - he stares at you, wearing his boxers as shorts. ā€œHey, come watch this— I’ll catch you up since it just started. I’m not pausing it though so you better pay attention.ā€, your words are all in one ear and out the other. suddenly his legs are moving on their own, stopping in front of you. he doesn’t register what you’re saying, telling him to move because you can’t see the tv, but then he speaks
Roommate!Simon Riley whose voice is deliciously deep, a little raspy from how his throat suddenly feels dry, ā€œS’that mine?ā€, he asks, eyeing his boxers. he’s never had such a hard time swallowing before, heartbeat erratic as you casually respond, ā€œHuh— oh, yeah. They’re really comfy, the fabrics nice.ā€. fabrics nice, yeah, he knows. ā€œYou— ya know those are boxers, right love?ā€, he asks, hands twitchy as you reply, ā€œMhm, just borrowin’ them.ā€
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CW: guilty wank, man is hopeless [kisses his cheek]
Roommate!Simon Riley who’s a mess after that interaction. you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at him, but he’s losing it on the inside. he’s seen you be audacious with stealing his clothes before, taking his loose-fit tank tops that left little to the imagination on you, stealing clothes you knew he favored and parading around in them, but his boxers? that had him stalking back to his room, quick to turn on his heel before you could see his pants tent
he’s sweating, closes the door to his room a little harder than he meant to. god, he wants to go back out there and see you again, get an eyeful of how comfortable you looked - wearing his boxers like they were yours. you wouldn’t know, and he can’t help but think about it, but you had stolen his favorite pair. they’re plain, a simple black pair, something he bought at the store because he needed new underwear. but when you wear them? they suddenly looked different, makes his heart hammer against his chest. it feels like he walked out into the living room and you wearing lingerie, not something he got for fifteen pounds
he feels a little guilty, shoving his jeans down his thighs as he sits down on his bed. you’re home, sat in the living room just down the hall, and here’s Simon fishing his leaky cock out of his underwear. he really shouldn’t, he should sneak into the bathroom for a cold shower, think about war and blood and bullets to get his boner down. but he isn’t, he’s spitting into his palm and groaning, bringing his free hand up to cover his mouth - he’s never been good about keeping quiet. it’s not his fault you were out there wearing his clothes, you were the one that decided to look so— so cozy and content in your makeshift shorts. domestic
when that word settles at the forefront of his brain Simon’s hips jerk, you looked domestic, wanting to watch some show with him. his leg jolts slightly, hand moving to shallowly pump his weeping head. maybe your friends are right, Simon does take care of you - could bend you over and make you sob his name - he’s basically your boyfriend, often mistaken for your husband. his thighs tense when he imagines a ring on your finger— no, his dog tags hanging from your neck— god, holding you at night as an actual couple—
he’s choking out a moan, muffled and hoarse, as he coats his hand. eyes fluttering shut and breathing heavily, all his thoughts fly out the window as his cum drips down his fingers - all his thoughts except for one. he’s going to have to go back out there later to eat dinner with you, and oh, fuck, he sucks in a deep breath as he chubs up again
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morgan-n-cheese-91 Ā· 8 months ago
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old Obi-Wan is so funny to me because his sass and overall bitchiness is like the last thing he's got and I'm so proud it survived the great depression of his 40s.
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ochablooms Ā· 7 months ago
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zaps them with the teeny tinyfication beam šŸ’„
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scriblesandbits Ā· 5 months ago
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me when I meet up with my rival after a solid perigee of not hearing from her and she’s missing half her face and her eyes (eye?) lacks the same mischievous gleam
(wwhats been happenin in your wworld
heard that you fell in lovve or near enough)
(Bonus doodle and like. Pinterest quote dump under the cut sorreyyyyy)
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Goofy textposts
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and the more serious ones that live in my pinboard
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iknowicanbutwhy Ā· 1 year ago
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Universe said we don't have enough wish power for your bullshit. this is your last fucking star
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chloesimaginationthings Ā· 1 year ago
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This will be the first scene of FNAF 2 movie…
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sabh0 Ā· 10 months ago
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My roman empire is that custom-made badge Dazai has sewn inside Chuuya's jacket after the Lovecraft fight
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thefishywizard Ā· 11 months ago
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Rip Bill Cipher, you would have loved Chapelle Roan.
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boomposhpow Ā· 5 months ago
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jersey boy fanart cuz i’m rereading it again OUGHHHH SOMEONE KILL ME NOW
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scurvyboy Ā· 4 months ago
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happy valentines day to them only
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