#how hard is that to freaking understand
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cw// implied character death, double life nonsense
because you are love itself.
#my art#trafficblr#double life#divorce quartet#<-- insane about how scott killed pearl in limlife.#this comic has been sitting unfinished in my files for a good month its def not finished to my usual quality but god it needed to be done#so uh scott... yeah. i like villain scott but not pure evil scott. i like a scott whos scared of being loved and manipulates others to spar#himself the pain. i like a scott who ditched pearl because their friendship was actually becoming real and when the server gods confirmed i#with DL he freaked out a bit and ran off.#ofc u can interpret this comic however u want but i was just thinking way too hard abt smajhor#i feel like often ppl get divided into scott did nothing wrong vs scott is pure evil alot of the time#which is understandable cus like i said with fanart/fic u only have so much space to show someones personality#but idk i like him all angsty. like i know im a bad person but to keep myself safe i need to keep being like this.#hes so blorbo *puts him in a blender*#i hate him *wraps him up in a blanket and takes him home*#cw implied death#cw implied violence#scott#pearl
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what dance style do you think your mooties would be best at? ;3
Hmmmmmmmmmmm I think this is willow r u willow anon
SOEEY TO KEPE TAGGING MY MOOTS BTW LLS TELL ME IF ITS ANNOYING 😞
okay so basically this ask is UP MY LANE like guys you don’t understand
@juviabrainrot contemporary jazz hybrid OH don’t get me started that is isa personified and I will fight everybody on it like I feel like u would do showcases I don’t think I’d be a comp dancer and then bloom would show up with flowers after every performance 😁😁
Oh I read the question wrong I thought it said what do u think ur moots r if they were a dance style… whatever my answer for isa remains the same (and Irish dancing… I see it for some reason.. liek trust the vision is there)
@luvseraphh UH BALLET I don’t knowuhhhhh I just think seraph is such a ballet girlie like hmmmmmmmm I think you’d eat upswan lake or just leaps and I’m so yummified by it like maybe if not ballet contemporary Bcs I love me a good contemp piece guysss i actually started with contemp before transferring to hiphop so contemp is like my baby and i will fight for her and i keep her so close to my heart and I LIVE CONTEMP
@bloomness Dance hall. Soooo dance hall don’t get me startedddd Bloom would EAT this up and also lowkey I see waacking guys I love waacking I think u got the arms for it like I think u’d be like yes get out my FACEEEE idk and I feel like u’d try to punch people in the face indirectly 🥀 but that’s ok because waacking is so cunttt
@t0malvr I feel like this is the most uncoordinated bitch ever /j ummmmmm popping lowkey like idk I feel like the energy and vibes r there like the energy let go and reel it back in but I also feel like ur ass couldn’t control it.. decisions decisions… lowkey you can be a b-girl just because I think you’d loveeee talking shit on ur opponent in a circle like ud get up and be like HAH YEAHBEATTHAT BITCH and probably be chained down for acting like a dog 👅 /j
@kisimet uncoordinated pt 2 who? /j hummmmmm well honestly I think you’d serve at krumping which is kind of insane considering you are a person on crack but like I think u have the anger in ur heart for it 😝 (me. I’m krumping. I LOVE KRUMPING GUYS. I just wanted to give one of my moots krumping so I could bring it up LMFAO)and uhh OH YOU CAN TUT I FEEL IT IN MY BALLS (tutting is one of my faves idk why im giving u all the good ones ☹️) i love how these two are polar opposites but like i actually can’t chose Bcs idk what u look like because if ur like 4 feet u r not krumping ❌ (no hate against my four feet krumpers…?)
@yintous I think homegirl would do commercialised vogue like comp vogue and the crowd goes wild‼️‼️‼️ tbh, also I see acro like dive rolls specifically but like a hold do u get what I mean or but I don’t knowwwww also for some reason I totally see robotic which is so weird but idk I feel like ur ass would eat it up like idk I just think u have the vibe for it (maybe it’s ur hair from ur picrew LMAO) but overall I think lik3 very baby Todd Williamson style with like I don’t know uhh
@verisette UMUMUMUMUM MARU I THINK uhhhhhhhh jazz for some mfkn reason like I can’t even give u a reason I just think ud buss down in jazz AND TAP wait idek where this is coming from I feel it in my balls ☹️☹️ ummm i think maybe commercial jazz like real dramatic not saying ur dramatic but i think u could pull it off 😝😝 for a hi[hop sty,e uhhhhh voguing I don’t know i just think voguing is such a u thing for some reason
ON THE TOPIC OF VOGUING I feel like @bloomness and @juviabrainrot would do it in another universe because I see bloomfompletely shit talking an opponent. Fun fact! Did u guys know at proper voguing clubs their always 18+ because ppl shake their tits and liek ‘scoop milk’ from them and throw it at their opponent and the dudes do that with their thing too! And it’s like a way to shit talk ur opponent and they yell like drink my tit milk bitch! I’m so excited to be 18 yall don’t understand😝
#I can’t wait till I’m 18#u WILL find me at a vogue club#guys 🙂↔️🙂↔️🙂↔️#LMAO THIS WAS SO INTENSE FOR E#u don’t understand how hard I freaking locked in#dance is my life guys#sighhhhh#I LOVE U ANON MWAH#THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEWT QUESTIONS U COULD OF ASKED#anyways#I like don’t actually see bloom and us doing it but I feel like the potential is there#for vogue#lowkey though#I feel all of ur asses r uncoordinated in my bones#but if yall weren’t!#this is what ud be#mail!
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wait, that elias?
#huge shoutout to @sepezzz elias design this is very much inspired by it. go look at it#im so serious if i never draw another person manspreading in a fucking office chair it’ll be TOO SOON#anyways.#the juxtaposition truly is crazy hahaaha right people change in the weirdest of ways#i like thinking about how they both present themselves. elias understands he works at Important Academic Research Facility so he still#sooort of tries to look somewhat official. but well he also gets away with what he can#he has that vibe of Yeah i work here and im kind of important but i’m chill. i know how to chill#meanwhile that other freak is just like i am going to make this body look presentable or so help me god.#he’s the Head of the Institute he can no longer have whimsy okay. and listen it’s not because i think jonah is that boring and would#dislike piercings and funny socks or whatever. i think he’d like those. but see he needs to make this believable that elias truly has#changed okay. and also like i said he is the Head of the Institute he needs to look Super Normal And Unremarkable#anyways i think it’s funny how elias’ whole thing is that he tries to distance himself from his family image and tries really hard to Not#end up like a rich asshole. and then. well.#(looks around) So i think about this man a normal amount.#i could write like 20 thinkpieces on both of them but instead they’re gonna make me do college essays about like language and shit.#myart#the magnus archives#tma#elias bouchard#oh my god it is actually un fucking believable how much i think about him every day#if this becomes a daily elias blog yall will just have to deal
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oo u want 2 draw soo bad..

#i hate that my ability to draw is so conditional#its soo frustrating but i dont know how to break it. this has been the one thing thats never changed.ill never be free#times like rn i just do studies but its soo fking BORINGGG euuhh...#but if i try 2 draw something for funsies i just stare at the blank canvas. literally immobile. & u know how people r like just draw#something anyways. a line. something. and its like no i cant do that oi cant even do that u underestimate my freak#i want 2attack myself from the pov of someone else#i think im having the realization tht i will never be able to do art stuff frls and its driving me crazy i think.#like im actually sick and unwell frm the thought of it.my friend commissioned me and im ab 2 send the money back#after two weeks bc i cant do it im literally frozen dude.i want 2 cry and die and explode into a million pieces#wait im back to add more.idk if anyone feels the same way but its like. i know its entirely a Me issue its a mental block issue#theres something thats not connecting in my head but its like.why is it so easy for everyone else ykwim...and thats a lie too right#like everyone else struggles w art and its not.it cant exist Without you struggling and practicing hard and trusting yourself#but in my brain im just convinced that like.i cant do this i cant do this like everyone else can do it like second nature and it freaks me#tf out#but also its the one thing i want to do more than anything else in my life and so like if i cant do it i dont know what to do.ughh.#not me freaking the fuck out rn lawl.lols.even#and on top of it i feel like i cant express myself well and i think my friend. < SOOO awesome and well meaning and NICE and legitimately#pushing me to try and believe that i can do this stuff but i feel like they wont understand the sort of like.mental block im struggling wit#like its less that i hate my art or something i dont its more like.i just feel soo physically restrained and incapable of doing it.suddenly#i cant think and i cant do anything.i have no creativity i have no ideas my mind is quite literally blank and empty
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with love and love and love and love and love (seriously, you cannot imagine how much these mean to me) to @spectator-moon, @aspoonofhoney, and @peachcandiz because i will never be able to express how absolutely blown away i am by the art that you made. i know how much time and effort and practice goes into your art, and the fact that you then used what you learned in all that time and effort to make art inspired by something i wrote??? insane.
(original art: 1, 2, 3)
#understand that i spent at least 20 minutes and probably longer staring at each of these when i first saw them#and i really hope that you dont mind that i printed them#i just. i need these framed in my home forever.#here's the thing as a fic writer i am ENDLESSLY jealous of fanartists#luvo you could learn how to draw- I TRIED!!! THAT STUFF'S HARD!!!!!! THAT STUFF'S REALLY REALLY HARD!!!!!!!! im just not patient enough#which maybe sounds wild because i have enough patience to write fic. but like. yall are so freaking awesome#its a lot of work and practice and you used your time to make art for my fics???????#im going to cry.
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keeping Kevarchie ALIVE. kevin ships dont get talked about nearly enough what about kevhead. personally i think jughead would rather kill himself than admit he's sexually attracted to kevin & it'd be incredibly amusing to watch them psychologically torture each other in an "ugh this is the guy i like???" kind of way. i cant tell if their specific brand of pretentiousness would clash or make them the most annoying power couple to ever exist
oh my godddd they would be atrocious. can you just imagine them writing/directing a play together?? bickering over kevin's vision for some theatrical adaptation of jughead's original comic or short story until they're so mad their only choice is to work it out nasty? (it's NOT homoerotic, kevin, stop calling it homoerotic. this story is about FRIENDSHIP that's practically me and archie right there!!)
and yeah jughead wouldn't want to acknowledge it bc it's so on-the-nose and beneath him and that would infuriate gay kevin who has endured so so much repressed closet case bullshit in his gay lifetime. i don't think they could stand to actually date. jughead would ultimately write a mean play about their liaisons and kevin would write a spiteful score/musical book for it and they'd pretend it was all so veiled in metaphor that nobody would ever realize what had happened (everyone would realize. it would be so blatant and cringe).
...or something like that.
#kevhead#(derogatory perhaps)#kevin splits his time in the narrative between being a jughead reflection (well-connected influential guy who thinks he's a rejected freak)#and being an archie reflection (people-pleaser with impulse control problems). but not the parts of archie jughead sees#idk how that impacts their shipping dynamic really. i just think it's interesting#kevin keller#jughead jones#riverdale#i really appreciate anons flooding me with kevin content after my heartbreaking decision to murder him in cold blood in the rankings#it really was so hard and devastating for me psychologically. as a kevin understander. that's my cousin. he's gay
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DREAM BY CHONNY JASH IS IN 4/4. IT'S IN 4/4 AND I NEVER REALIZED. I JUST NEVER CAUGHT IT CUZ HE'S PLAYING/SINGING IN TRIPLET PATTERNS OVER IT.
I'M CRYING.... HOW DID I NEVER CATCH IT....
#chonny jash#seth's shitposts#seth's ramblings#<- kind of ??? Like a teaser I guess.#I was freaking out about this so hard because I was gonna talk about it in something I'm writing at the moment#And then I realized that I didn't actually understand. Like. How the rhythms actually worked in relation to one another.#Not the main part of Dream but at the very beginning#Oooh boy.#cccc#chonnys charming chaos compendium
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Envoy Calliope the Cosmic ⋆.✧̣̇ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋ Aedyr | Godlike | Court Augur | They 𓇢𓆸
#avowed envoy#envoy of aedyr#oc: calliope#no gifs bc i edited the shroomie colors idk im just not super fond the vanilla ones in game ?? n i couldnt figure out a simple way to do#that w/o washing out their skintone u understand u_u#i have a few gifs planned so we'll see how i handle that later 🤪💥#trying to strike a balance between a silly whimsical little freak that says weird shit all the time#and a nice person who chooses to be compassionate and kind at every major decision was sooooo hard#so their personality isnt totally nailed down orz#court augur is v fun to play im prob one of the last 2 the party but Would Recommend lol 👍#(just pretend the strands clipping at the forehead arent there thx 💢😑)
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someting dreadful and sick and twisted about trying to find black women in the game industry and only finding black women who play games
#OR finding black women who are tangentially related to the game industry#who like. have companies or organizations that strive for increased representation#that's good!!!! that's not bad that's really good!!!!!!! but that wasn't what i was looking for#i'm looking for a black woman who is in the industry. who is touching the games. who is making them#it's Crazy that that's so hard to find. it's freaking me out.#it drives me crazy how the only time i see representation is when people like me are striving to be seen on an equal field#if i search 'white game devs' i'm not going to find a list of people who run organizations striving to bring more white people into gaming#obviously it's not an apt comparison but you understand what i mean#i don't want feel good stories about people clawing and fighting to be seen and heard and understood#i want to see people succeeding in the industry i'm about to throw myself into#i just want to know there's space for me. that's all i want. that's the only thing i want.
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I used to always hide what I like and dislike. never share my opinions. try to align myself with other people to make them happy. try to like what they like or pretend to. but I decided to stop doing that at some point because it was exhausting. it did work for a while. it made people happy and like me more for s short time. but never lasted. especially since I can't keel.up the charade forever. so was kind of pointless in the end....
but then sometimes i remember why I did it. so many times that I don't do it it leads to bad interactions that really affect me negatively. sometimes when I state my opinion or likes/dislikes and it contrasts with someone else, it makes them lash out at me????? they act like i'm trying to personally attack them??? even if i'm not saying it directly to them or it has nothing to do with them?? they get so offended or upset and start lecturing me or getting really angry in my replies or dms. and i'm internally like. can you shut up and leave me alone lmao. but of course I hate conflict and stuff so I go back into "pleasing" mode and try to "explain" and find an explanation that calms them the fuck down because I don't want to deal with their offended asses. they cant accept that I have my own options and preferences and it isnt meant to offend them. and sometimes they'll even try to twist my words to mean something bad in general so they can justify their offense and it makes no sense to me. ugh. leave me alone 😭
#disclaimer: this isnt about anything current. my therapy session today dug up some past memories and i put a bunch together#AND IM REALIZING HOW MUCH THIS HAPPENS. NO ONE WILL LET ME LIVE. LET ME HAVE MY OWN OPTIONS AND FEELINGS AND STUFF STOP BEING OFFENDED!!!!#some of you people are so annoying lmao#by “you people” i mean people in general not necessarily you people on tumblr. just you humans. you humans are annoying#im not human. a plant rat hybrid gremlin. or some weird alien that i cant understand and please you humans. stop expecting anything from me#lee text#lee rants#ignore me i just wanted to yell somewhere about this lmao#words are hard and everyone tries to make me the bad guy and turn me into an enemy.#ITS LIKE YOU PEOPLE KNOW MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND POITNLESS CONFLIC CAUSED BY IT IS MY BIGBEST FEAR AND YOU WANT TO TORTURE ME WITH IT. WTF#you freaks. stop.#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#*mentally sends to all my past “friends” who did this*#AND ANYONE ELSE READING THIS. DONT DO THIS. LEAVE ME BE!#short story time: i think i lost a friend years ago because i said i dont like the bee movie and that bee x human romance makes me uncomfy#and they left the group chat and ghosted me after that. (i think theyre secretly a bee furry. its all i can think to explain it)
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is studying supposed to make you feel like youre dying
#my stuff#dove chirps#🦐#MY BREATHING ISSUES ARENT HELPING . BTW#god.i have adhd#ive been freaked out of my mind for TWO FUCKING HOURS and i have NOTJING FUCKING DONE#and its hard to even GAYGE what “done ” means with studying#do i understand the material IDFK! HOW DO I JUDGE THAT!
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this image lives in my mind rent free. there's so much here and i really wish the manga had gotten deeper into these two's deeply fucked up relationship bc it's fascinating.
according to wikipedia, yin (the black bit) represents the female/passive/negative principle in nature, while yang (the white part) represents the male/active/positive principle in nature. yin is covert, of the netherworld, the north side of a hill, the south bank of a river, the moon. yang is overt, belonging to this world, the south side of a hill, the north bank of a river, the sun. some other stuff too
the name hyuuga is written with the characters for "sun" and "approach", but the second character can also mean "defy". hinata's first name is just a different reading of the kanji of their surname (which is hilarious but that's not the point), but as a noun "hinata" means "sunny place" or "in the sun". i believe it's also been used to mean "the direction the sun is shining". with the reading "hyuuga", though, the same kanji is also an archaic noun meaning "facing (opposite) the sun". so hinata, the all-but-disowned heiress of the clan, is "a sunny place facing the sun" - both an undeniable part of her family, yet ostracized for her weakness.
neji's name means "screw", or it can refer to a key or a spring in like a watch or a clock or something. there's a few kanji it could be written in, but only one of them caught my eye - 螺旋 is a rarer way of writing "ねじ" (usually just written in hiragana afaik, tho neji the character's name is written in katakana) but the more common reading of 螺旋 is ら(螺)·せん - rasen. if you haven't already caught it, the kanji for rasengan is 螺旋丸. that's not super relevant, just interesting. anyway, neji who "defies" the main family is one who "faces (opposes) the sun". but at the same time he's its strongest member (or. the one with the most potential. probably most of the jounin hyuuga were stronger than genin neji). so he's "a screw in the sun" - a fundamental piece of the machinery that it may not be able to function without, even if it can't be seen from the outside, like the inner workings of a clock.
idk where i'm going with this i just think these two are fascinating and i would've liked to seen more of them concerning one another
#naruto#naruto shippuden#hyuuga clan#hyuuga family bs#hyuuga neji#hyuuga hinata#people try really hard to give naruto a sun-moon dynamic with someone but like. that's silly#the narutoverse HAS sun-moon symbolism. just with hinata and neji#naruto has his full moon-crescent moon thing with sasuke tho which is also pretty nifty#also i freaking adore how they're positioned there#neji looks down on hinata. hinata looks up to neji#the moon resents the sun for shining but can't has no light without it. the sun doesn't need the moon but gives it light anyway#there was so much that could have been done with this#what they're meant to be vs what they are vs who they choose to become#the POTENTIAL#just realized i'm only ever interested in neji when hinata is also involved. and hinata is much more interesting to me when neji is there#i don't care about neji at all outside of that and i'm not too interested in canon!hinata outside of that either#it's kinda ironic bc when i first got into naruto i couldn't stand neji bc of how he treated hinata#ofc NOW i'm older and understand a bit more of what he was going through but it's still hard for me to like him most of the time#except when it concerns hinata. who is the main reason i didn't like him in the first place#go figure? i guess?#they are sososososososo fucked up and i love it#unrelated note: maybe the reason i can't really get behind naru/hina is bc all the interesting potential i can see just kinda went untouche#naruto au where hinata and neji spend the two year timeskip plotting a revolt and they kill hiashi while he's fighting hizashi#then while the war is going on they're running around in the background freeing every hyuuga they can find#naruto wins the war and turns around to see hinata completely restructuring the clan and takes inspiration for the village#he works with sasuke and sakura and the others to try and fix All That Shit#THAT'S a naru/hina i could get behind#also. when they kill hiashi i don't imagine it being like a ''mwahaha vengeance'' thing it'd be more like a tragedy#there'd be a flashback of how close hizashi and hiashi were as children and how growing up the way they did messed them up
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i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore
#jack facts#people be banging on about empathy this empathy that#and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what#that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol#and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before#i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know!#or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water''#or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia#or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me''#etc etc etc etc etc#anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept#and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity#the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING#to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy#and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad#but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective#and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person#or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation#another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm#done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations#that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over#i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions#and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol#like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like#fear. hunger. pain.#absolutely fucking exhausting
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genuinely starting to hate the mom i work for
#she screamed at the kids over NOTHING last night right before she was leaving for a date night with the dad and sent the toddler into a#hyperventilating fit that made him nearly throw up from gagging so hard from crying#and she DIDNT EVEN FUCKING STAY TO COMFORT HIM#and she wonders why he runs to me first when he gets home from school 😐😐😐😐#and why he’s in a ‘no mommy’ phase 😐😐 like don’t be bitter with a toddler. self reflect. look at how you treat him. look at how you never#respect his boundaries and then you FREAK THE FUCK OUT when he won’t respect yours!#it shatters my heart so much because i WAS the hyperventilating cryer#and my parents would yell at me to stop crying and then get mad at me for throwing up from crying#like just TRY to have some fucking understanding to this new human!!!! he’s only experienced 3.5 years on his earth in total!!!#and a year and a half of that he was just a potato!!! he’s still so fresh and new to the world and you’re just teaching him#that you aren’t gonna be there to support him when he’s struggling!!!!
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Further thoughts on the bear season two: Sydney, God’s strongest soldier
#That women is battling demons#And the demons are her coworkers#Jk that’s Natalie’s plot line#I’m liking Natalie better this season?#She feels more natural and more realized#Unlike Claire who feels like an alien photoshopped into the show#Anyway back to the point#SYDNEY MY BELOVED#She is trying to bloom where’s she planted#Where she’s chosen to plant herself#And (obviously) she’s justly annoyed with Camry for his refusal to do what he needs to#Richie would be driving me crazy if episode one hadn’t given us a view of his search for purpose#Richie is also trying to bloom but just doesn’t understand how yet#Tina (my dear) is blooming like crazy#Marcus is also (my dear) and blooming like crazy#Where is Ebra I have much sympathy for his old man crisis#It’s so rough feeling settled with who you are/what you do#And then being asked!! To change!! To grow!!#To continue fitting into your community!!#That is freaking hard and feels unfair#But also. That’s life#Take it or leave it#stay and change#Or leave and change#But you cannot remain in stasis#As much as we desire it#Peace watches stuff#The bear#the bear season two#ranting and raving
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Re: the end of your Joever/renegade post, it’s almost like wondering at what point does the “rough patch” cease to be a rough patch and just how the person *is*. As in, this is just how they choose to exist or are most comfortable living as a person.
(Not villainizing him at all, it’s just alluding to what you and others said… at some point it stops being a single issue or issues to fix and starts revealing itself to just be fundamental differences in compatibility and outlook.)
Just got this and I know it was sent pre-TTPD tracklist, but yeah!! Like it makes so much sense to me that a relationship would take over a year to go from Renegade to YLM and then another year to reach breaking up for good. That honestly feels like the most normal progression in the world, and I’m sooo interested to hear how she describes this experience and gives voice to something that I think a lot of people have been through.
I’ve talked about it on here before but my current relationship is 6 years old, and Renegade literally sparked some very VERY serious conversations for us when it came out because it gave voice to things we were dealing with and we were able to address using the language she offered us in the song. That was a definite “rough patch.” We nearly broke up, and had a real epiphany about things that we both needed to change in order to continue, and the types of support we both needed in order to stay safe and healthy. I felt so seen by Renegade and then in midnights as well- labyrinth and The Great War come to mind - the decision to stick it out. When I heard about joever it hit me (and others, from what I’ve heard!) suuuuper hard because it was like wait. Whatever measures they took after Renegade and the Great War actually didn’t fix it; what does that mean for me!? I was soo shaken up because of how strongly I related to the struggle (as it was portrayed to us). But that gets to the point of this ask: the difference between a rough patch and something un-fixable. I’m certain this will come up on TTPD, and it’ll be a deep portal time travel exploration of how she came to that exact conclusion. I can’t wait.
#i also have thoughts about how would’ve could’ve should’ve fits into all this: our rough patch was directly related to my PTSD#Which got significantly worse in 2021 and my partner was having secondary ptsd from watching me have WCS style freak outs#And feeling powerless about it#So would’ve could’ve should’ve feels very related to the processing of wether the relationship is in a rough patch#and dear reader#It’s hard to tell what is Real when you’re Falling Apart. Hence the whole concept of midnights! Exploring the past to understand the presen#And I think Joe likely was happy to attribute all of their problems to Taylor (this was my experience with an ex)-#He coasted on my self hatred and didn’t really object when I had anti hero moments#So then when the same stuff started to come up with my current partner and he showed up and took responsibility for his own stuff…#That really clarified that it was a rough patch that was possible to work through with the right person#And that my history/situation didn’t make me inherently unloveable etc#It’s just so poetic that midnights (an album about choices) led to the choice to end her relationship#And something about autonomy there too#C#would’ve could’ve should’ve hours#Ptsd#trauma#joever
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