#i always start out intending to summarise more

[yuriko-44]

yearning for freedom

yuriko ✰ 19 ✰ she/he ✰ reality shifter

Welcome to my little corner of the internet!!

This is my reality shifting blog. I'll share things about my desired realities, my journey and all things shifting!!

I'm Yuriko, I'm 19 and I go by she/he pronouns!!

I'm a permashifter, in the sense that I won't be coming back here, who lives lots of different lives out there in the multiverse!! I haven't shifted to any of them for now, but that's going to change very soon.

I first found out about shifting between 2019 and 2020 from a youtube video about lucid dreaming. I didn't believe it at first, but here I am now!! I first started getting my information from tiktok, but things were starting to get so contradictory that I took an excruciatingly long break that lasted from 2020 to 2024. I came back to shifting on the night before the first of January 2025.

There was a period of my life in which I used to lucid dream almost every night, but after being fed a bunch of misinformation that led me to get extremely scared every time I'd find myself becoming lucid, I forcefully stopped myself from getting lucid dreams. But now I'm working on mastering lucid dreaming again, not only because it was fun, but because I'm interested in shifting through lucid dreams!!

For this reason I'll be posting some dream journal entries- not all of them, only the most interesting ones!!

During my journey, I didn't exactly have a main dr, since I used to change it every time I wanted to make a new script, but now I officially have one!! It's a bnha reality and it's probably the one you'll hear me talk about the most!!

With reality shifting there are infinite possibilities out there. All those possibilities and I still decide to script myself as 'pre-existing characters' in some of the realities that are about my favourite games/shows/etc...wow- I'm so original guys-

I don't know why that happens- actually I do, it's because I hate myself here and whenever I get attached to a fictional character I'm like "they're so fucking cool, I'd love to be like them" and since I know about shifting I end up making drs in which I'm them...yay-

Past the cut you'll find my dr masterlist, some useful tags and things like my dni list!!

Here's a list of the drs I'm comfortable sharing and talking about on my blog!! I've got more realities I'd be willing to share, but for now I only listed a few, I can always add more if I want. Here you can also find the links to the drs intro posts.

→ I'm still scripting most of these realities!! ←

[ 🔖 ] shifting hub reality

[ 📌 ] main desired reality

— Waiting Room Realities

🔖 Home :: main waiting room → 🔗 (this intro was made very quickly, I'll probably remake it)

TAG :: #🗺️ Home wr

This is my main waiting room that also functions as a shifting hub!! As long as this script is done, I could ignore doing all the rest, since I'll shift to this waiting room and make more scripts before going anywhere else.

In this reality, all animals, insects and whatnot are shifters!! We can all turn human though. I can turn into a grey wolf!!

— Desired Realities

📌 Symbol of Fear :: main bnha reality → 🔗

TAG :: #🧤 Symbol of Fear dr

This is my main reality, the one I'll be spending 90% of my time in. In this reality I'm Shigaraki Tomura and, in short, after the war society changes for the better, me and the lov and everyone like us get to live and so on and so forth. It's extremely difficult to summarise- I'm sorry-

It's TV Time!! :: deltarune reality → 🔗

TAG :: #📺 It's TV Time!! dr

This idea is very recent (at the time of making this post), but god I'm already obsessed!! In this reality I'm Tenna!!- I saw him for the first time and my brain immediately went "yup, that's you in another reality, now make a script". There are some important differences from canon (how I treat my employees, for example) and...well, I can't really script this reality while I'm here!! I'll go to my main waiting room, I'll see how Toby Fox intended to continue and finish Deltarune and I'll decide what to script from there.

TAG :: #🎲 One Hell Of A Time dr

One Hell Of A Time :: cuphead reality → 🔗

This is the dr in this list that I had for the longest time. It's the third dr I've ever scripted, if I'm not wrong. I actually have a finished script, but it's really old, so I'm going to remake it. In this reality I'm King Dice- guys- he was my first actual fictional crush and after I found out about shifting my brain was like "...no...no, baby- that's not your boyfriend, that's you right there, now go make that script"...so here we are- in short, take Cuphead, deprive it of all cartoon elements, give it a religious-heavy lore and throw Dice in hell and heaven. "Why does this sound like the Divine Comedy"?...well, it's inspired, soooo- so yeah, horrible shit is going to happen-

Hopes and Dreams :: undertale reality → 🔗

TAG :: #❤️ Hope and Dreams dr

In this reality I'm Frisk. There's not much to say honestly, I just want to live one of my favourite stories ever. I grew up with Undertale so I had to make this dr. This is exclusively a Pacifist Run, by the way.

Friendship is magic :: my little pony reality → 🔗

TAG :: #🌈 Friendship is magic dr

My Little Pony was my favourite cartoon growing up, so you know I had to make a dr about it!! I'm still scripting it, but I'll probably add an element of friendship or make myself a princess/prince, I want to be important, ok?

Zampacity Sud :: catz petz 2 reality → 🔗

TAG :: #🐾 Zampacity Sud dr

Some of my best childhood memories are about this game!! I was, I am and I will always be obsessed with this game!! You basically play as a cat whose village gets damaged by an evil wolf, Ivlet, who also steals this powerful magic hat. Since it was your fault he escaped from jail, at first you get arrested, but then your friend, Victor, takes the blame for you (it was both your and your friends fault, btw- but it was his idea, so enjoy prison, Victor) and you decide to go and get the hat back- after you helped around the village.

Zampacity Sud is the Italian translation of the protagonist's village, South Pawville (and yes, there's a North Pawville as well)

Hero of Twilight :: twilight princess reality → 🔗

TAG :: #🗡️ Hero of Twilight dr

I remember watching my older brothers play Twilight Princess when I was little and I immediately loved it- well, at the time I didn't understand the story, I just thought Link was cool as fuck and I wanted to be like him...and in this reality I'm him because fuck you, that's why- jokes aside, I love this game not only because it's part of my childhood, but also because the story and everything about this game is just amazing. Literally my favourite Zelda game.

The journey begins :: pokémon reality → 🔗

TAG :: #🧭 The journey begins dr

I'm Italian, so I'm used to seeing the word 'Pokémon' spelled with an accent on the e, so no, it wasn't a mistake!! In this reality I'm an aspiring Pokémon Ranger!! My first ever Pokémon (and best friend) is a Sableye!! I still don't know what my team will be like, but I know I'll have a Staraptor, one of my favourite Pokémons and very good for flying, and an Arcanine, giant puppy who is also very good for on land transport.

Welcome to Berk :: httyd reality → 🔗

TAG :: #🐉 Welcome to Berk dr

I have to continue the childhood inspired drs with How To Train Your Dragon. It gave me the biggest brainrot of all time. I loved Toothless with all of my heart and I still cry from the first movie to this day. I'm actually not exactly sure of what I want to do with this reality, honestly, but I 100% know I want to make a httyd reality!!

I just realised that most of these drs are either about things that I loved as a child or things that my child self would love...and some that only my adult self would love, because I doubt my younger self would like my symbol of fear and one hell of a time realities-

Here are some other useful tags!!

#✨ yuriko yaps → posts that aren't about shifting.

#✨ shifting talk → posts about shifting.

#✨ dream journal entries → interesting dreams.

#✨ shifting journal entries → about my journey.

Tweaking over this post I made- sorry I needed to save it somewhere: 🔗

𝐃𝐍𝐈 anti shifters, haters in general, cringe/cancel culture, close minded people, homophobes, transphobes, pedophiles, zoophiles, racists, sexists, etc.

𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒 feel free to leave asks!! Whether they're questions or just little messages and comments, they're all welcome. Also I'd be really happy to answer questions about my drs!!

𝐃𝐌𝐒 it'd be nice to make some shifter friends, so don't be shy and come say hi!! But if I don't answer please don't spam, I'm probably busy and/or I haven't noticed your dm yet, so please have a little patience. If I don't want to talk to you for whatever reason I'll make sure to tell you, I'd rather not ghost anyone!!

જ⁀➴ 𝟒𝟒𝟒 𝟓𝟓𝟓 𝟖𝟖𝟖

[jesuis-melodrama]

I Finally Watched Climatiqueen 🌩️🐈‍⬛

If you're coming back: welcome. If you're new here: hi, I'm LAURENT 💖. And just know that the opinions you are hearing comes from a dreamy realist and skilled writer, who understands the necessity of pushing the boundaries of imagination but also believes that fiction should be grounded in the illusion of reality at least. Otherwise, narratives are irrational and unbelievable, and since all fiction is simply a reflection of the contemporary world we live in, this means that the writer has an agenda they've poorly delivered.

Please note that Miraculous is political. All medias are but Miraculous has been explicit in referencing contemporary Parisian/French issues. It does not do a good job at either.

A little exposition: I have been putting off watching Season 6 of Miraculous because I wanted to wait until the episodes come out in order so I can avoid any of the confusion that previous misaligned episodes caused. While only eight episodes of Season 6 has been released at the time of my writing this, at least Episode 1-5 are available and this allows me to watch in the way God intended. Already, I can see that this decision has paid off. I know that the disabled running girl plays a significant cameo role in the series, seeing that she was in the overall Season 6 trailer, and I can meet her properly rather than just confront with her jarring existence later in the season.

So Climatiqueen hasn't elucidated on neo-green Paris as much as I hoped. There's suggestions, but not really a big dive into how new Mayor Caline Bustier is revolutionising the City of Light or how an environment-focused, sustainable metropolis would function. Which is – disappointing. I'm a big fan of solar punk. I've written a fanfiction on how I hoped Season 6 would vaguely start off as, you can read Iris Verdi (2024) here, and it seems like that wouldn't happen. I hope we get to see more of Mayor Caline Bustier later on, I'm very curious about her governance.

My most significant point in this analysis, I have to say, I am not surprised by the direction that Season 6 starts off with. We may have a shiny new animation company and much better graphics, but it doesn't change the fact that the heart of Miraculous is still the same, its writers, namely Thomas Astruc, and that means the cast is going to be entrenched in the same old shenanigans we've seen recycled in earlier seasons.

Namely, the issue of Adrien's lack of identity, which has been explicitly explored for the first time in Season 4's Wishmaker but is obvious starting from Season 1, Episode 1, and continues to plague his character today. Adrien is, ironically, a very empty character. As the poster boy of Miraculous, as a sidekick to Ladybug, and now Marinette's boyfriend, his role as an escort has been the summarisation of his character, he is an accessory, nothing more. And although Miraculous tries to be philosophical, with its Sentibeings angle and the exploration of privacy invasion considering that fact that Adrien is a celebrity, it will always miss its point. Because Adrien was written to be Marinette's accompaniment, Thomas Astruc began the Miraculous world with Marinette and fleshed out everything around her, and the only way Adrien can truly be an independent character is if they break up and Adrien is allowed to explore his identity without Marinette's influence.

Speaking candidly, that will never happen. Marinette even had to tell Adrien that she cannot pick a passion for him. Adrien will not come to that realisation by himself. Thus, I have little expectation for any positive progression on Adrien's arc.

Bouncing off that point – in that Adrien remains largely the same �� so does the rest of the world. Marinette's friends are still loyal and devoted to her, the Auxiliary heroes have little time to shine, and it seems the fact that the side characters are permanent heroes in name only. Chat Noir does show a little more dexterity with the way he utilised Cataclysm on the bullet train that Climatiqueen throws at him, proving that he has been training, but like Pegasé, he contributes little individually. You'd think that Chat Noir's infamous out-of-the-box thinking or Pegasé's capability with statistics would allow them to contribute idiosyncratically to the battle, making for a more colourful, exciting, and diverse action scene, but they still only hang back and move specifically on Ladybug's orders. I do not think this will change, because, again, that would mean taking screen time away from Ladybug/Marinette.

The outfits are amazing. I love Aurore's plastic cloud coat and her storm-themed earrings. And Climatiqueen's twin drills emphasis Miraculous' strong shoujo manga influence.

(Side-note: I've seen a lot fans try to excuse Miraculous' terrible writing and the worse portrayals of Adrien and Marinette's behaviour as being homages to shoujo manga and maybe that is true, but that doesn't mean it's good. Plenty of shoujo mangas are terrible. They have weak designs, nonsensical plots, ridiculous situations, and are obviously self-indulgent. I love Sailor Moon, its cultural impact is undeniable. But Megan thee Stallion is right, the narrative of Sailor Moon is absurd. The shoujo mangas that Miraculous seem to take inspiration from are obviously the ones that focus on the rich boy/poor girl with a heart of gold and the 'stalking as romance' tropes that are notorious for being dubiously ethical. It's not good. I know it's popular and influential, but that doesn't mean it succeeds in being exemplar storytelling.)

I like the new girl, with her pink hair and her clover-themed green palette. I hope we get more information on her, because she does appear to be a new side character, she was sitting with the class during their poetry workshop. Speaking of new character, who is Aglaé?? What happened to Mireille as Aurore's best friend? Was she axed because she wasn't interesting enough? There's already enough insecure, vaguely-artistic girls in Miraculous? They need more shy goths?

I don't know why Adrien doesn't have a new default uniform (although the update from orange high-tops to Stan Smith-esque sneakers is an A+ design choice), but everyone else enjoyed a major update, especially Juleka and Rose. The point of cartoon character designs is to work within the limitations of budget (they can't afford to animate a new outfit each episode, especially with expensive 3D animation) to express the character's identity. Season 1-5's outfits were already plenty expressive, just by looking at Marinette you can tell she's the sweet, pink-coded girl-next-door, Chloé is the rich girl trope, Mylène is sweet and earth-minded, Max is the nerd/geek, and Alix is the rebellious punk. With Season 6, that expression has been boosted, and everyone seems to have embraced their personalities whole-hearted and become more confident versions of themselves.

(Another point of contention, let's be honest, Adrien's character design is not strong. Just by looking at him, you cannot tell he's the male lead. Luka is also a male romantic lead, and you can also determine he's a gentle musician-type. But Adrien? You can't determine his personality quirks or even any hobbies just by staring at his denim jeans and white jacket. His weak character design plays into the fact that he's a very empty character.)

Speaking of Chloé – I heard a lot of rumours that the reason why Chloé's character continues to down-spiral is because Thomas Astruc based her off a blonde bully from his own past. I do not know how true that is and I have no wish to propagate this Chinese whisper. There is a lot of hearsay, condescension, finger-pointing, and random accusations of racism/sexism in this fandom, usually with very little critical thought behind them. Whether or not that's true, it's clear to tell that someone on the writing team does have an agenda against Chloé – she's in a different country, if nothing has changed since the finale of Season 5, yet she's still the secondary villain. Gabriel is somehow redeemed, I do not know why, a single line of remorse does not erase or even justify years of illegal tomfoolery, everyone has pretty much forgiven Nathalie (news alert: I do not), Félix is on the good side now, but Chloé – yeah, she's always be the rich mean girl. Just, saying it off-handedly: Chloé does deserve better. Just like how Adrien deserves better. Both of them are written to be Marinette's accessories, and they really need to get away from her in order to grow on their own.

More on bad girl villains: that's an interesting way to approach Lila. I've heard that Lila's villain name is going to be Chrysalis, but there's no offical recognition of that so, for now, I'm going to deem it non-canon. The multiple voices talking, the shadowy figures, it does seem to indicate that Lila is thinking about this a lot better than Gabriel had, she's much more adept at keeping her identity a secret. She also 'allows' her Akumatised victims to choose their names and she feeds them suggestions rather than harshly command them to follow her orders which indicate that she's more skilled in manipulation than Gabriel. After all, people are much more willing to put in effort when they think it's their idea. But we still don't know what Lila's ultimate goal is, what does she hope to achieve with Ladybug and Chat Noir's Miraculous. It makes her a very pale villain. Sure, we only found out what Gabriel's goal was at the start of Season 2, but there's no need to delay Lila's progress. We know who she is and we have no need of filler episodes. We had five seasons of those. Lila doesn't even have a proper Butterfly design. You could argue that this is too to make her more mysterious, but, honestly? I think the designers just chickened out. They don't want to spend expensive animation time on Lila, time that could be used better to display the Miraculous crew's slice-of-life shenanigans, and they know that fans are going to mumble angrily no matter what Butterfly villain Lila is wearing, so they just gave up and stuck her with a purple silhouette. Not cute. Super not cute.

And the social media aspect... Oh, every new children's media just have to mention the deadly influence of TikTok. Shrek 5's trailer did it, in a way that earned them equal parts intrigue, glee, and ridicule, and Miraculous seems to be parodying TikTok with its social media app Zoo, where in-world residents can scroll down endless videos of content. Usually, depictions of social media in children's shows are awful, because adults fail to realise just how toxic and alluring that type of endless entertainment can be, they fail to grasp onto why children are dependent on it, and that greatly diminishes its impact in their portrayal. I also think part of it is because adult writers don't want to admit their own subjugation and addiction to TikTok, so they try to control the narrative by suggesting that social media can be used for good and it depends on the individual person to make the effort rather than changing the system. The system has to be changed. I don't know if this is going to be controversial and I know some people are going to argue otherwise, but Tiktok is evil. Whether it's a Chinese information-gathering spy app, a capitalistic agenda, or simply a waste of your time, it's evil.

(Personal opinion: Barbie would not be a content creator. I know modern Barbara Roberts is eighteen years old and very in-touch with trends, but glamorous, driven, sophisticated Barbie would not waste time trying to be a friend to all her fans. She can't even talk to her fans in person, which I know Barbie would hate. Barbie is all about real people, real effort. She would help the community around her, not uphold a false parasocial queendom.)

I don't think this Zoo arc is going to work out for Miraculous, their attempt at it last season, where Jalil Kudbel was shown to be susceptible to misinformation online, was lacklustre. You don't fight fire by starting another fire and I personally wouldn't bother with people who are proudly chronically-online and treats social media like its reality. If I were a writer on Miraculous, I'll make a reference to the existence of social media, you can't help it. But social media will never be a main character. I'll rather write an entire episode about the gang having a lovely picnic in the Sun than one of the gang being Internet Crusaders and changing Paris' opinion by being positive online.

Also: I am a prophet. I predicted before Season 4 aired that Adrien would have a special connection to the fairy tale Sleeping Beauty, and lo and behold, in the episode Gabriel Agreste, he's represented as Briar Rose. Similarly, in one of my fanfictions (in all of them, actually, but those were implied and this is explicit), Cruel Summer, Adrien characterises himself as a poet, and turns out he is very good at poetry. I shall take this to mean I understand the source material very well, because I also predicted that Aurore will be a terrible person.

Miraculous has a habit of showing one thing and telling us another. It tells us Gabriel is a powerful villain. He is not. He is a sad, insecure, old man. It tells us Marinette is a good hero. She is not. Everyone else is simply even worse than her. It tells us that Aurore learned from her mistakes. Six seasons in, she still has not! She still seeks attention and looks to make herself more famous. Aurore is a morality character. She's there to represent a lesson to the audience – don't get jealous! Keep your eye on your passion! – and she has a gorgeous character design which makes her lessons easy to stomach. But that's all Aurore does. She doesn't have a speaking role beyond her character-centric episodes, her character model is used as crowd filler when the writers need to fill up space (she's an attendee at a fashion show, one of Adrien's fans, a mindless zombie, etc) and it's implied in one of the worst episodes of Miraculous, Climatika 2, that she's a close friend of Marinette's, close enough that they share kinship over being Chloé's bullied victims and Marinette can just walk up and share words of support with her without coming off as preachy, but she is not! Because her character doesn't exist outside of this episode.

(Also, I'm still confused about Climatika 2. Why did we need a recap episode? Did the writers genuinely ran out of ideas? It was 2023, no one needed an account of the story up to that point, we can simply log into Netflix and find out for ourselves. I suppose the episode was also used to explore Nathalie's mysterious inside perspective in particular, why she chose to aid Gabriel despite his general terribleness, but if you literally cannot display a character's motivation after from verbal info-dumping – you are a bad writer. Animation is such an expression medium and you had to rely on a paragraph of spoken script?)

In conclusion, a solid C+ if I have to give the episode a mark. It's very pretty, and I'm always excited to have more Miraculous content, but that's also its downfall. It's still Miraculous. Nothing changed.

[kamidukki]

Tokyo Debunker: Towards the Annivesary

⚠️Warning: long read

⚠️Disclaimer:

1) Despite the seemingly endless stream of complaints at the beginning, venting is not my purpose in writing this. I intend this to be a personal reflection on playing Tokyo Debunker (TKDB) in general. Therefore, I'll try to be as civilised as possible, even when writing about aspects of the experience that I dislike the most.

2) This post also mentions other joseimuke games -> Twisted Wonderland (TWST), Akuneko (AKNK), Yumekuro (YMKR), etc.

3) I mostly watched the reactions of the JP fandom on X/Twitter, so if you find that some opinions don't match what you usually see in the international fandom, that's probably why.

I'll start by summarising TKDB's existing problems, things that mostly will stand out to a new player. Almost everything I'm going to say has already been said by someone else, and this video by RoseEmber on YouTube has succinctly pointed them all out, and people have mostly forgotten/forgiven it, thanks to the highly intriguing plot, it seems?

Still, I'd like to say them in my own words, so here they are.

1) Right off the bat is the use of artificially generated images as backgrounds. I have no way of being 100% sure that they're AI. In the unlikely event that they were drawn by actual human artists, this suspicion will turn out to be nothing more than slander. What started the suspicion for me was that the general atmosphere of the backgrounds reminded me of images created in Midjourney, which I have observed is often used/preferred by Japanese AI users as an image generation tool. What added to the suspicion was how the company handled calling out. What cemented my stance on the use of AI art to be abhorred in TKDB is a particular background: Rui's bar. I wouldn't have known its origin if it wasn't for RoseEmber's video. In my opinion, the company really shouldn't get away with this and should replace it with another completely original background.

There's no way they can afford to change just one background, I know. If they change Rui's bar, I am sure people will protest and demand that they change everything to human-drawn backgrounds. I have no objection to that, although I have little more to add. I'll come back to that later.

Anyway, the decision to use artificially generated images in Tokyo Debunker will always be the biggest setback and irony, considering it's one of the most localised joseimuke games (in several languages, no less). International fandom, from what I have observed so far, is far more merciless when it comes to this particular issue, so the effort that goes into localisation is wasted in the face of blatant act of cutting corners.

2) Next is something I find neither positive nor negative, but still a problem: the advertising. Now, the company behind TKDB is notorious for its aggressive, deceptive, flame marketing tactics. I find the ads hilarious myself, although I understand why people were so keen to get rid of them from their Twitter timeline. They're gory sometimes, and if you put headphones on, the music is disturbing. The comments I read often mentioned how persistent the ads were, despite having been flagged as uninteresting. I don't know how they got there, and I never got them on my TL, so I went out of my way to YouTube to see how annoying they were. In addition to the above, the fact that the ads DON'T REPRESENT the game at all is what gets me. Like... it's half funny, half upsetting. I mean, what the hell, dev? Your potential users are not looking your way because of this unnecessary circus. (Again, the RoseEmber video gave me some valuable insight into the ad issues).

3) Next: Character design. The said design includes their characterisation, not just what the eye can see. This particular issue puzzled me at first, but unlike my discomfort with Rui's bar BG, or the BG in general, I've come to the decision to let go and enjoy. Anyway, here are my two cents about the characters.

I don't even play A3, but the moment I saw Towa, Misumi's image immediately came to mind. Jin and Haru, if you're familiar with Hypnosis Mic, will remind you of the MCD duo. Tohma's personality shouldn't be as evocative as Twst's Jade, but, well.

Once a suspicion starts, it floods.

Kaito, the guy from Kimetsu no Yaiba (whose name I've forgotten as I don't follow the series too closely). Hyde, the guy from Jujutsu Kaisen. Moby, Koro-sensei from Ansatsu Kyoushitsu.

Having made it so far into case 61, I can say I look at them with zero negative feelings now, helped by the fact that I've found that they're not just cheap rip-offs. Their inspiration may be borderline imitation, but they're so damn well made that I can't get angry.

All but one: Haku.

He leaves me with mixed feelings, as I can't get over the fact that he's a borderline rip-off the way I can with other characters. Haku, as most players probably already know, is 'inspired' by Mikage of Yumekuro, a game which sadly ended its service in September 2024. I can imagine that people who see Haku before Mikage will find him a better version than Mikage. I don't blame them. Still... Mikage is a very distinctive character, and even though I am not a big fan of him myself, I still find him endearing because of those characteristics. His mannerisms, his character voice (he uses omae-san like Haku!) and his personality in general. They're designed to be laissez-faire characters who prefer to avoid trouble, quiet but mysterious in a way that draws players in emotionally, kind and competent in a way that no one else can be. As if that were not enough, Haku belongs to Hotarubi, a dormitory that evokes traditional Japan, while Mikage belongs to Tokohana, a guild with strong Japanese aesthetics and sensibilities. Since Yumekuro stopped its service, it feels like Mikage died and was somehow resurrected as Haku in TKDB...

Okay, enough sap, back on track.

4) Worldbuilding is next. OK, we can get straight to the point with this one. A game where the player has to live in a rundown building of a certain prestigious school on a tiny island with seven dorms where the fourth years have to go off campus or something... Hmm, sounds familiar. Yeah, no surprise, Twisted Wonderland. A game where the player has something to do with a mysterious ring and demon power with its shady contract system? Akuneko. I'm not as offended by this as I should have been (you know what they say, copying from a paper is plagiarism, but copying from so many to make it your own is research or something), but I won't blame TWST and Akuneko fans if they find this part problematic to the point where they refrain from continuing to play or even trying the game.

5) Finally, the gacha. Hmmm, I really can't say. I don't dislike the system in general, and I'd like to thank the people who spend more than I do, because it's thanks to you that the game, or any game with a similar system, can continue. Yes, yes, problematic, predatory practice, I'm aware of that. I'll come back to this later.

Okay, that's all for the less savoury aspects of Tokyo Debunker, I guess?

Despite all the problems, it turns out that Tokyo Debunker has raked in money in numbers that Romeo would approve of. It ranks fairly consistently high on the joseimuke games list.

It's obvious that one of the many reasons for this is its harsh, harsher than other games, gacha rates, which has probably encouraged players to keep pouring money in. Is it the biggest reason? Probably yes. Is it the only one? No, it can't be. I have some faith in humanity that the majority of people won't spend money just because a 2D character has a pretty face.

For me, and for a lot of people whose opinions I've spied on X/Twitter, the most important reason they're hooked on Tokyo Debunker is the highly intriguing plot, so let's start TKDB's good points with that one.

1) Again, highly intriguing plot points. Masterful execution. Engaging delivery. TKDB has no event or personal story (only chat) like other games, but its main episodes are done right on so many levels that I have nothing but praise for the writer(s) and the people in the production staff. I can only confirm that @/sakugintani (X/Twitter) is the writer of episode 13, but it looks like it's safe to say that they're all written by actual human writers...? At least I hope so. I think there's a problem with the music being used... I don't know the details, so I won't put it in the problems section above. Instead, I just want to point out how well the background music they chose for the scenes and events in the story fit together. I do find a small problem with the SFX, that the volume is not consistent, but it's too small a problem to pay attention to.

2) Interesting, wide range of characters. Despite what I said about the designs? Yes. An imitation of classical painting will still sell for a high price, as it turns out. They're written pretty decently, whether it's as individuals or their personal relationships with each other.

3) Localisation. Just wow. Really commendable that they employ actual translators of many languages and then allow players to switch languages with the simple press of a button. I mean, I love Twisted Wonderland, but it's really disappointing that they have separate apps/servers for separate languages... Something to do with the copyright thing or something? Akuneko, Mahoyaku and Bungou to Alchemist have no official English localisation, while Touken Ranbu's is finished. Anyway, this part in particular is the very opposite of a deal breaker for me.

(On a related note, I played TKDB because Minami (@/sakaimii on X/Twitter), who's part of the TKDB English loc team, posted about it. I don't know her personally, but I followed her because she used to work on the unofficial translation of Mahoyaku (mahoyakueng.wordpress). I find her (and her team's) work enriching and delightful. Glad to see the same for TKDB)

What else? Uh, I can only think of three... Well, that's just my personal opinion anyway. People may find other discouraging/encouraging aspects that I haven't listed here. There are some aspects I have deliberately left out, such as the UI, the raid system, etc., simply because I have no opinion on them at all.

The overall gameplay experience generates mixed reactions, ranging from boring / too idle, with the case impossible to solve without SSR cards, which becomes increasingly true as you progress through the levels. I have no problem with idle games, quite the opposite in fact. The reliance on SSR cards, on the other hand, is a hindrance to the enjoyment of the game.

Now, why am I writing all these things out, especially when most of them seem to have been left behind?

Because I want more people to get to know Tokyo Debunker. I want more content, I want to see it talked about, I want to read and interact with other people as it progresses, and I want to see the game itself flourish for a long time.

Sadly, that's going to be quite difficult if a lot of people are put off as soon as they start. I've already seen so many people driven away by the AI images (rightly so) and even before that by the adverts. I read one JP user commenting that no matter how much they liked TKDB, it wasn't something they could boast about or be as open about as other games because it made a lot of people feel uncomfortable.

At this point, I think there have been a few murmurs here and there along the lines of "the ads suck, but the game is actually great!" I can only hope that this will help people to try Tokyo Debunker and like it.

STILL.

It will leave us with a very undesirable situation if the player base grows but none of the problematic aspects change for the better. If a game with AI images and borderline rip-off elements does well, it will only encourage other companies, especially the smaller ones, to follow in the same footsteps. That's why I hope that the company is seriously considering a change, especially in terms of proper advertising and images of human artists (since nothing can be done about the rip-off aspect).

Am I asking for too much? Probably. Who knows. I don't have any insiders to ask about the company's financial situation and whether or not my request will put a dent in their wallets. My instinct is to say no, it can't be? Surely it must be in their budget by now to hire human artists to create backgrounds and real advertisements?

Then again, who knows. A game like this costs a lot. Potential users usually don't want a company to cut corners, especially if it's so sharp that it puts an end to someone's livelihood. From a business point of view, however, some corners have to be cut, because if they aren't, the other option is EOS, because it doesn't make enough profit, maybe not even enough to cover the cost of production. There are some Joseimuke games that had to end before they even reached their first anniversary. The obvious solution is to cut corners where it hurts as few people as possible, if possible none.

How?

I don't know 😭

One solution that immediately comes to mind is not to have the story fully-voiced, but even I can find myself protesting at the prospect of this ill-conceived solution.

Now about the gacha in TKDB. I mentioned how hard it is. Specifically, you need to pull 500x to get the pity/guaranteed SSR card featured in the banner. In TKDB, a single draw costs 200 gems, but 10-draw cost 1,980 gems. If you want to reach the 500 count, does that mean you have to do the 10-draw 50 times? I haven't had a chance to test this, but I think it's safe to assume that's the case (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!).

50 pulls of 1,980 gems will cost you a total of 99,000 gems (100,000 if it is a single pull, but why would anyone do that). If you buy from the regular gem shop and choose the most expensive option, 5000 gems for 10,000 JPY, you will have to part with around 198,000 JPY. Convert that into your local currency and that's the estimated price of a single SSR card of your choice.

Okay, you don't have to spend that much, I know. TKDB regularly gives out a decent amount of free gems, and they have several back-up shops that, if you use them wisely, will give you more valuable gems for your money. (They are a little overwhelming, by the way).

I'd like to do a detailed comparison with TWST, Mahoyaku, Akuneko for the mercy system in each of these games, but let's save that for another article.

The fact that you need several SSR cards to solve the case and unlock more chapters seems to be a deal-breaker for some people. The more cases you solve, the more impossible it becomes to play without SSR cards. At the moment I'm playing on two servers, one where I pull once I've collected 1,980 gems and the other where I do the opposite. On the latter, I'm actually able to get to case 53 with just a single SR Darkwick Chic card and 8 R cards (the casual outfit ones). It's starting to get too hard, though. It's not a walk in the park when you're f2p in TKDB, unless you're very lucky.

(On another note, I have heard that TWST is just as tough for some people who struggle a lot to get through OB combat, especially book 6? I don't remember having too much trouble with it, so I can't really compare it myself)

As I said, I don't have any particular negative feelings about the gacha system, provided it's done properly. In theory, it's a good system that allows people to contribute according to their own financial situation. It allows all players to enjoy the content equally, while the company still makes a profit. However, it needs to be done in such a way that if a company gets carried away and consumed by too much greed, there will be nothing but resentment.

With the system that TKDB has in place now, I can only hope that existing players don't get tired before management can focus on and implement improvements to the overall system and UX, and the only way to do that is to keep the current level of excitement generated by the main storyline steady, even increasing, while applying a fix where it needs one.

Alright, I've said my piece. That's all I have to say, I think.

To close this long, somewhat anticlimactic writing off, I would like to wish TKDB a long and successful journey. I hope that all honour students will be able to see TKDB grow into something better as we walk with it ❤️

[batsplat]

Hi I've been speed running reading though all of your posts on Sete and Valentino and Casey and Valentino and ough you're a godsend and literally your analysis on everything is just so good I've been euphoric for a good hour.

It's just so fun to read through all of these and I really really like that one point you made about Valentino having fun poking at Casey like he was a particularly interesting puzzle because yeah that's the best way I've seen it summarised by anyone plus Sete and Valentino's rivalry is never talked about enough in my opinion but in retrospect I'm also just very obnoxious about the two of them so maybe that's a me thing.

I hope this isn't annoying I'm just freaking out because I'm annoyingly into this stuff and all this analysis on them is like from my dreams wow thank you so much for all the work you've put into this!!!

oh this is so lovely, cheers! extremely not annoying and very much appreciated! interest in proper sete/valentino scholarship in these parts trending healthily, for casey/valentino admittedly still in the absolute gutter - but both of them SO niche that i always get very hype when someone else is enthusiastic about them. and i'm EXTREMELY up for talking about them... yes 2 me valentino having fun poking casey is so key like... he loved having that challenge!! it was a fun challenge for him!! casey's the toughest puzzle he could have been given! people must take the whimsy in the casey/valentino rivalry seriously...

okay so. as evidence of how up for talking about them i am,, i am continuing in a proud tradition of using an ask to discuss something kinda tangentially related. i have been thinking a lot recently about these two rivalries as a set. so,, this did get a little longer than i was intending but well. it is a very nice ask. here goes:

ofc on many levels, these two rivalries are VERY different. sete is unambiguously the rival-valentino-later-feuded-with who valentino pre-feud is closest to, joint holidays and all, whereas casey was always kept at a difference. a big part of the sete rivalry is how sete is framed as somehow 'lesser' and not as worthy a rival, which feeds into how eager valentino is to dismiss him and then erase him - whereas casey obviously gets to be The Most Talented and is a young challenger etc etc so a) is accepted more readily as a rival in public discourse, and b) is accepted more by VALENTINO. because casey challenging him is more flattering to the ego than sete challenging him. so by some metrics they're two of the most different valentino feuds. the vibes, they are very different

bUT i do think there's more to be said about how the two rivalries,, like... interact... firstly because to some extent there's ofc going to be a causational relationship, where how the sete rivalry played out affects how the casey rivalry played out. the casey rivalry follows on from the sete rivalry... casey quite literally takes sete's ducati seat... casey replaces sete as valentino's rival... believers of the 'sete was valentino's coming of age rivalry' thesis would suggest that valentino enforcing a certain amount of distance from virtually the start with casey was informed by his post-sete approach to rivalries. a valiant attempt to try and keep them a bit less messy. which is also sensible.... like personally i've always agreed with valentino on this, it's tough to completely separate your feelings towards someone from a competitive rivalry, it makes sense to kinda hate the person who deprives you of what you want most ESPECIALLY if it helps motivate you to beat them, it makes sense to not be ultra friendly towards your rivals if that doesn't really work for you. the problem is that on the casey end, he comes into this rivalry with SO much baggage in both a general sense (he's been through so much to get to the premier class) and related to valentino specifically (hero worship and how valentino low key represents casey's hopes and dreams for the sport) that this valentino approach very much Did Not Land Well with him. and it's kinda... for one and a half seasons, is valentino really doing anything THAT crazy to casey - that isn't also more or less matched by what casey himself is saying about valentino during the same period...? opinions differ! but, the thing is, valentino was always going to hurt casey. all of valentino's later rivals have all this weird hero worship baggage with him that's kinda disastrous to manage in a competitive rivalry situation... valentino was sort of damned whatever he did on that front, like i'm not saying he was at any point particularly interested in casey's emotional wellbeing but. laguna 2008 only gets worse if valentino is nicer to him before that. except he needs to laguna casey to win the 2008 title, so now what. he worsened that relationship in a way that has a clear competitive logic, but it's also understandable why casey took it so so poorly

and i do think! the fun link between these two rivalries is that at certain points. to some extent. casey gets to slip into the role of what valentino was doing in the sete rivalry. because to valentino, for the duration of their ON-TRACK rivalry, casey's this fun tricky puzzle to solve. and the bitterness and animosity only really comes late on when casey figures out how to properly piss valentino off post-2010. but for CASEY, he's all-in with the emotional investment. he cares SO much. it's his coming of age rivalry in the same way the sete rivalry is for valentino. by 2007, valentino's more or less the finished article. obviously all the later rivalries still affect him, but he's not going through a Character Arc the same way he is in 2003-05 where he's fundamentally a different competitive animal by the end of it when compared to the start. like he's done that already!! whereas casey does it with valentino, where valentino becomes so synonymous with SO many issues casey has with the sport and also manages to spark some specific bizarre neuroses within casey that it's just all... it ends up being So Much for casey. valentino is constantly the frame of reference within the sport to casey, valentino is the one who sparks casey's transformation

and the similarities do go beyond that. like,, valentino does kinda get valentino'd a bit. the turning point of the vale/casey rivalry everyone points to is laguna 2008, casey has HIMSELF called it the turning point of his entire CAREER, he STILL talks about it a lot. but the thing is, right, these two are not feuding immediately after laguna 2008! casey apologises at the next race for being so rude to valentino and saying he'd lost respect and all that stuff. obviously they do to some extent still reference laguna after that point, but it's very sparingly pre-2010 and the relationship only really sours in that mid-2010-11 period. two years later!! and it's just... when you think about how the sete/vale rivalry unfolded and there's this sort of delayed backlash, where valentino's clearly already not happy with the sete rivalry being a thing in 2003 (cf sachsenring) and then there's all these Complaints brewing in 2004 (mugello, assen)... and you've got valentino himself saying that qatar just provided him an 'excuse' not to talk to sete... i'm not saying jerez 2011 fulfils quite the same function for casey/vale because the relationship is already pretty fucked by then, but it is kinda that same vibe. the benefits of biding your time!! casey couldn't really fight valentino back in 2008, he just wasn't ready yet to have that fight, but in 2010 he WAS and valentino had broken his leg and wasn't the undisputed king of the sport anymore. casey was in a stronger position! he was very much in a stronger position by the time 2011 rolls around and he's winning and valentino's not. and he shamelessly takes advantage of that state of affairs to lash out at valentino at pretty much every opportunity - because now he finally can. it's that vibe of... these wounds festering, of them sitting on this grudge and being able to park it for extended periods of time, but it still Being There. and then when the moment arrives, they go for the kill

and it's really that vibe of malice. like i always feel what unites casey and valentino above and beyond any of the other big name riders is how *nasty* they get. not aggressive, not killer instinct, not insane or any other word used to describe some of these riders, but nasty. viciously mean, where they really have this air of maliciousness to them, the ability to twist in the knife. it's not just about winning, it's about making it hurt. valentino is a bit more discriminating in his targets - casey sometimes just says something insanely rude about some rando he's met twice in his life - but they've both got it. and i do think their respective coming of age rivalries helped them... embrace that evil energy. with sete, valentino's whole thing is this marriage of joy and cruelty where he uses his quirky lil post-race celebrations to actively humiliate sete - it's targeted, it's personal, it goes beyond anything valentino had done up until that point. in the biaggi rivalry he's way more reactive, in the sete rivalry he wants to break the other man. with casey... the thing about valentino being Like That is that it gave him this sense of (self) righteousness where he felt that valentino was such a deserving target that he could just completely have at it. free reign. but it's free reign to instincts he already had all along. and in 2011-12, it means that casey can attack valentino all he likes while keeping a pretty friendly relationship with his actual on-track rivals - it's almost like he gets it out of his system

my fave Fun Parallel for the intellectuals - vale/casey vs taking shoulder injuries seriously

(h/t to #1 sete scholar @bikefuckersoftheworldunite for that one valentino line)

'i don't think i hurt his shoulder' vs 'best shoulder doctor in melbourne hospital' like tbf that one did come back round nicely to bite valentino

like they're both assholes!! (casey and valntino, that is.) it's so key that they're both assholes with the potential to be cruel and petty and often lack any sense of what constitutes a proportionate response. gOT to be the starting point for understanding these rivalries. because the malice is such a massive motivation for both of them. which brings us neatly onto the next point - they're both LIARS about this. and they both lie about this in their autobiography specifically. with valentino, it's going from being very clear that he's motivated by his rivalry with other riders and sete specifically to almost entirely erasing sete from his autobiography and talking about HONDA lodging an appeal in qatar (again h/t to bike and specifically this super helpful post)

whereas casey goes from saying in 2012 that "i started to find other reasons to win. i just wanted to beat everyone, just to annoy them" to saying in his autobiography he didn't care who he beat and also that he 'never became obsessed' with his rivals, which is so laughable a statement you barely even know where to start

and in BOTH cases this weird autobiography retconning is an attempt to control the narrative about One Specific Rival!! valentino mostly tries to erase sete entirely, apparently preferring to pretend that whole thing never happened. casey obviously CAN'T do that but he does at times talk down the importance of that rivalry - and more often what he does is talk down the EMOTIONS of it. making it this sort of blandly respectful situation between them before valentino just!! attacked casey!! UNPROVOKED for half a decade straight while casey was simply trying to live his life. but casey never really cared about valentino, he just respected him as a rider! that's the only reason why valentino annoyed him! and it's kinda like. okay but how was laguna 2008 this massive turning point where you were confronted with the darkness of human nature or whatever if you only ~sort of respected~ valentino pre-laguna? but obviously casey is motivated to talk down this whole idolisation dynamic because it's painful... he doesn't want to make it sound like he spent so much time thinking about valentino because it makes him vulnerable... and it's kinda like that for valentino with sete!! where the fact that this guy who wasn't Supposed to be valentino's challenger lived so rent free in his head and had the power to betray him is just,,, so uncomfortable, that he'd really rather pretend it hadn't happened

and the thing is. the thing is! for both of them, it's worked! their preferred narrative of those respective rivalries is low key the most accepted one! sete was never a serious challenger to valentino and can be safely discounted, valentino was just sort of a dick to casey and casey never really liked him. because they're both pretty adept at this! and they also take advantage of existing narratives in The Discourse that worked out in their favour - people were predisposed to dismiss sete, valentino had gotten a reputation for making enemies out of all of his rivals. casey's whole coming of age thing with valentino is that he also has to learn to embrace the dark arts - both on-track aggression and whispering to the media, as he has repeatedly discussed. he learned to use those skills against valentino!! he's the rival who actually stands up to valentino rhetorically and not just on the track, who's willing to go toe to toe with valentino in the press. what casey says about valentino in 2011-12 goes so WILDLY beyond what any other rival has said about valentino, quite frankly in terms of sheer frequency it quite possibly outstrips what valentino has ever done to a rival. they're the two who are most adept at trading blows in the press! where they just have these proxy wars through the media that make you go. wow every single line is a banger here. both quite poor at saying any of that to each other's faces, mind, but that adds to the charm of the rivalry

so yeah... both of these as coming of age rivalries for valentino and casey respectively... both are kinda rivalries that made them WORSE. on some level anyway. valentino gleefully coming up with multiple custom shirts to mock sete versus casey being dragged kicking and screaming to a point where he competently uses the press against valentino. hey, you even get shirt drama in both! aND crew chief drama! they've got it all! idk i just love the vibe that they've both been on a lil corruption arc... ofc the way this works is that valentino low key corrupts himself and then very much helps casey along the way - like i haven't focused on it here but obviously valentino very much gives as good as he gets in the casey rivalry lol. AND they're both obsessed to the point where they're FREAKS about it,, like valentino is SO determined to humiliate sete and casey gets SUCH a kick out of humiliating valentino that it's very... wow you little weirdos... keep going... and they're never ever going to quite move on because they still have to be Weird about the whole thing and stick to their chosen narratives... idk!! i do think these two rivalries are in conversation more than people think. to a point where it also quite helpfully showcases the similarities between valentino and casey when you use the sete rivalry as a comparison. ughhh such top tier rivalries i love them

[alfgifu]

Fic analysis 12. Showing them in words or deeds

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48460747

Word count: 3,862

Chapters: 1

First posted: 9th July 2023 

Summary: 

Cliopher has been able to sense his Radiancy's emotions since his first year working as his secretary.

This changes less than you might think - until the day it changes everything.

How and why this came about

In retrospect the couple of prompts I asked for and filled were something of a harbinger… at the start of July 2023 the wonderful elikabeha began to coordinate weekly Nine Worlds fic prompt challenges on discord.

These weekly themed prompts picked up on ideas that had some resonance with the fandom and the first was ‘Touch AU’, that is, fic where physical touch creates an empathic and sometimes telepathic bond (usually) between his Radiancy and Cliopher. The golden marks/burns that the emperor’s touch conveys in canon feature heavily. This whole subgenre was kicked off by SuninGlory with her lovely fic Touch, which is still one of my favourite comfort reads.

I was in a contrary mood that week and excited to have a prompt, so I decided to take it in as different a direction as possible - what if an empathic bond formed and these two noodles just never acknowledged it? Would it make any difference?

I started writing intending to sketch my way across the arc of canon until I hit a scene where even Cliopher Mdang couldn’t ignore the impact of an empathic bond with his totally normal boss. That took longer than expected.

What worked and what didn’t

I really really wanted this to be a quick response to a prompt rather than the start of yet another monster fic, so I was trying very hard to skim across events. That forced me to summarise tightly, which produced an interesting effect - a condensed but still readable account that runs from Petty Treasons through the first half of Hands of the Emperor and diverges only to explore the ways in which Cliopher might act differently if he could sense his Radiancy’s emotions.

What I learned from writing it

This felt like a gremlin option when I was writing it, but the joke was the premise not the fic. Perhaps because of that, and because I hadn’t planned the ending and just stopped the moment I found a scene that went substantially differently from canon with a different set of assumptions, I didn’t really think of it as a serious attempt at a story. I was surprised and remain surprised that it worked so well for readers. It’s been one of the more popular things I’ve written (it also got recc’ed on tumblr a few months after I wrote it, which probably helps).

So this was the first place I saw in practice that what appeals to me as a writer and what appeals to a reader doesn’t necessarily line up as expected.

This was also probably the first moment it really came home to me that my writing speed is pretty fast, most likely in part because I enjoy the process of writing so much that it can flood everything else. I’m autistic in a highly verbal way and my brain is only really happy when locked in deep concentration. Around this point I switched from using reading to using writing to channel my desire to be constantly ‘in the flow’. Conditions were pretty much perfect - the prompt challenges gave me a range of varied subjects to think about, the supportive community gave me a place to work out ideas and an ongoing source of validation, and the longer fic I was working on in the background meant that I always had something to think about.

None of this felt like a special skill. Writing well is a skill; writing fast is - for me - an attribute, a feature of the way my brain works, no more a choice than having blue eyes is a choice. But it did feel like a stroke of luck: this thing I enjoyed doing was something other people enjoyed reacting to.

Spoiler alert: this did not encourage a 100% balanced response in my needy little soul.

[creamypudding]

Oh, I'm giddy again. I decided I needed a break from Glorious Hell (Wip title) as I was suffering, so delved into my AkuRoku bigbang fic so it wouldn't stress me out knowing I have a deadline looming with that one.

I finished going through the necessary edits in two days.

The joys of writing a shorter story 🤣👌

There were minimal mistakes, and minimal things I added in. It only grew by about 3k words to be somewhere around the 32k length. I have (sadly) written single chapters longer than that, lol.

But as I think I've said before, I think I'm moving into my 'Shorter Stories' era, which is a different writing style in itself.

In my mind, this results in less showing and more reader-established buy-in into things based on face value and on wanting to see the characters fall in love. It also means less time (word count) on relationship development/exploration.

I'm not writing out massive conversations and am starting to summarise things when I know the reader would already know the information based on internal monologue from the protag.

Mind you, this kills me a bit because I think how a character chooses to convey information in conversation is a huge tell and has been very fruitful for me in building character driven stories. (As well as getting to eye-watering word counts, lol)

I'm also trying to allude to things based on context, or conversational cues, which cuts down on word count and keeps things moving.

I do miss my verbose, deeply detailed stories, but I just don't have time or the spoons for Kintsukuroi or The Two Penguins level fics at the moment.

And not ever story needs to be long. I always hope that the things I write are precisely as long as they need to be. I definitely never write with the aim of hitting a word count limit. I just write until I'm satisfied with the outcome.

I'm satisfied with the changes I made to the bigbang fic.

Looking forward to posting it on AkuRoku day, or there abouts.

A part of me wants to chapter the story, but it wasn't intended to be chaptered so if I did do that then I would need to make some significant changes, or have really oddly sized chapters.

I guess I'm not opposed to oddly sized chapters because when you see Glorious Hell (Wip title) you'll see the crazy variance of chapter lengths, hahaha! But that's intentional and I am writing that story with chapter intentions. Each chapter serves a purpose.

But not every scene break in this bigbang fic is purposeful enough to warrant it's own chapter.

Anyway... I most likely won't have it chaptered, or if I do it will be very minimal.

I've still got time to think about it.

Anyways, I'm done now. Just needed to ramble about being happy I got one task done.

I'll revisit my Zakkura fic next. I think I need to reconsider the ending and work on some of the major themes of that story.

Wish me luck.

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Haven DVD Commentaries - 5.07: Nowhere Man

Commentary with Brian Millikin (writer for the episode) and Nick Parker (writer of the companion episode 5.08).

I love these two and their commentaries so much because they talk a LOT and they have many things to say. Which is awesome, if sometimes hard to capture in text, so this is a mixture of direct quotes and paraphrasing.[My comments in square brackets]

BM: It’s kind of a two-parter, these two episodes, maybe a little bit less than some of our other two-parters of the season. That was something we set out to do.

NP: Yeah, not to the same extent as 5.05 and 5.06, but there is a lot - the Trouble carries on through both episodes, and that was an edict we had going into the season.

BM: We really wanted there to be a hard ending to a couple stories in this episode, and in the next one. So, Audrey gets to a place at the end of this one, and so do Mara and Duke, and everyone else. And this is the first episode of the season where we have Audrey Parker back. I was excited to do this because last season I wrote the episode just like it - ‘The New Girl’ - it was one of my favourite ones I did. And it seemed like all episode long it was Lexie who had come out of the Barn, but in reality it was actually Audrey. But it was fun because it was kind of like a new pilot. And then this one is not like a pilot, it was much different because Audrey had been around - even though she wasn’t in control of her body she was there to witness what Mara was doing. Which was something I think we were really attracted to …

NP: I agree

BM: … the idea that she feels a certain culpability or responsibility because she was in the back seat watching what Mara was doing.

NP: She was there, inside.

BM: Yeah and it’s a stark contrast to what we’ve done before.

BM: So this scene [the opening scene with Audrey Nathan and Duke on the Rouge] we talked about all these different versions of starting right on the heels of the previous episode. As it is I think it’s maybe an hour later, two hours later. Which is a little bit weird if you think about it. It means that episode 7 and 8 really take place within …

NP: 5, 6, 7 and 8 all take place within about 12 hours.

BM: This entire season takes place over the course of about 3 days.

NP: Yep. And there were also several different versions of this opening scene where they’re discussing the split and what to do with Mara, and I remember one which was pretty interesting where we talked about it just being Nathan and Audrey having this conversation on their own, and Duke being separate from it.

BM: Yeah, but we kind of wanted it to be the three amigos here. And Emily did a great job of playing the, almost PTSD that she has a little bit; she’s been through hell. And we had a version of this too where a lot of the scene was about them testing to make sure that she was really Audrey. But that just felt kind of unnecessary; first of all we knew that she was really Audrey, and we felt like the audience would too. So we just flew past it and assumed that she is. And the most important thing for us was that they don’t know what happened at the end of the last episode, they’re just winging it.

[As Duke goes to see Mara in the hold] NP: I love that Duke just has basically a prison cell in his boat, like always ready to go.

BM: It’s the biggest hold of a boat I’ve ever seen. I think it’s wider than the boat itself, the actual boat, but it looks great.

NP: The hold of his boat is bigger than his bedroom.

BM: But I love the set, and more than that, I love the two of them in here. Remember from the very first day of the season we always knew we were going to get to this point right here; episode 7, half way through with Audrey and Mara split. And we kept it to something of a surprise, and I think a lot of people thought it was just going to be Mara all season long and then maybe in the season finale it would be Audrey, or that at some point maybe Audrey would claim her body back. But we had always wanted to have both; to have our cake and eat it too. And we just thought it was more interesting for the story that way.

NP: And I think we decided to develop it even more and push it even further because Emily is so, so good as Mara.

BM: Absolutely.

NP: We were like; we’re going to give her as much screen time as we can.

BM: I know we all expected her to be good as Mara - I mean she’s always great as Audrey, and she really brings something to Sarah and Lexie. So we expected her to be good - but I think she was even better than we had anticipated. We love her as Mara.

NP: Yeah, you can just see her having fun in the role. She’s enjoying getting to stretch her legs a little bit, and it shows.

BM: I think the other actors had fun with it too; enjoying playing off of her as Mara. I mean, how many times have Eric Balfour and Emily Rose been in the same room together, and now they’re in the same room together, but it’s not Audrey. It’s someone else entirely. In fact she’s closer to Hannibal Lecter than anything else. That was sort of the impetus for all this stuff with her in the hold of the boat; yes it’s easier to shoot [all in the one set], but alse we thought it was dramatically interesting to see what they would do with it. It makes sense to keep Mara prisoner, at least for now just to figure out what to do next, and then it’s like well; this is great, we’ve got Mara being held in prison on Duke’s boat and Duke has now become her jailer. And that interaction between the two of them gave us so much.

NP: Yeah and particularly with what they’re discussing in this scene with the unknowing of what the split means and how it works, whether Audrey is connected to Mara. Because it’s all uncharted territory.

BM: She said it right there [as Duke’s leaving]. That was the thing that was most interesting to me about it, was the idea that she’s a prisoner, but she is actually in control. Or at least that’s what she says; she claims to be holding all the cards and to know what’s going on. And whether she does or not doesn’t really matter, because they definitely don’t. And she might. So that power interplay was something that we haven’t been able to do in the show before, and when you get to the fifth season of a show I think you’re just looking for these interesting new things you can try.

NP: And because we’re in the fifth season now I think we get to live with the characters a lot more.

BM: Sure.

[As we see Audrey and Nathan in bed together] NP: This is probably a lot of fans favourite scene. We don’t get to see these two actually be together that much. Stuff’s always so crazy in Haven that they never really get to just be together in bed and be together as a couple.

BM: No, and it’s sad because here we’ve got an actual tender scene between Nathan and Audrey and guess what - work calls. Because it just does.

NP: Every time.

BM: They don’t get a lot of time to just hang out and be with each other.

NP: I like that line; “Case Face”.

BM: I think I took that from the fact that we always talk, here and on other shows too, about having Writer Face. When you’re off on script or an outline or working on an episode. You know, you still come in to have lunch with the other writers, or you’re still in the hallways and at the coffee machine, but you’re not really there.

NP: You’re basically a phantom.

BM: With this distant look in your eyes as you try to figure out … how are they going to get out of it in act four if they don’t have a gun … or whatever. We always call it Writer Face, so Case Face was from that. I think I ripped off, everybody.

NP: Yeah. And that’s fine. That’s what good writers do, right?

BM: But the other important thing in this scene - there were some versions where we had it in that first scene but that just felt like too much  - is Nathan revealing that he can’t feel her any more. Which leads him to believe (correctly) that she is no longer the same; she’s not immune to the Troubles any more. Something is different about her. And it’s such a big deal that we decided, I think correctly, to put it in this scene between the two of them. Because it’s big deal obviously, for the two of them. At the same time, he says it doesn’t matter to him and I think we all believed that. You know, what would it be like if when he realised he couldn’t feel her he wasn’t in love with her any more?

NP: Yeah, that was something we talked about a lot.

BM: As someone who can’t feel anyone- yes he could feel her and that might have been one of the things that maybe got him started

NP: Yeah.

BM: But it’s certainly not where he is now. Not any more.

NP: Yeah.

BM: And I think maybe it spoke highly of their relationship that he believes it doesn’t really matter. Although I do think that it matters to her.

NP: Of coure.

BM: But maybe less to him. And he’s also just got her back. I don’t think there’s any version where he wouldn’t have wanted to be with her anymore just because he couldn’t feel her.

NP: No, I agree. But this lack of immunity after living with it for so long, now finding out that she isn’t, it throws her off her game which I think is an interesting dynamic in this episode. She has to live in that reality. And he’s telling her it’s all fine, that they’re going to make it. But you can see her having some self doubt.

BM: Absolutely. And we liked the emotion of that and having to grapple with that because it was a way for them to express some of the … I guess the best word for it is still PTSD of what they’ve gone through with the Mara situation. What they’re still going through. Without it being all about that. It was a microcosm of the fact that they’re sort of pawns in a larger game that they’re not in control of necessarily.

NP: Yep. Oh there’s Kirsty.

BM: Yes, Kirsty Hinchcliffe, Lucas Bryant’s wife.

NP: Officer Rebecca Rafferty.

BM: Yeah. We wanted to put her in this scene because we very much wanted her to be in the next scene she shows up in. And she’s also super-useful here, along with this townperson they meet, in establishing that people aren’t necessarily warm to the idea of Audrey being back. After what they’ve been through with Mara. Mara killed a bunch of people, she was running around causing all kinds of problems, and for the people who are in the know (like Rafferty) even they are probably a little reluctant to necessarily throw their arms around Audrey and trust her again.

NP: Yeah and I think that’s something we’ve got to explore in the second half of season five, is that, so much crazy stuff happens in Haven, all the time. So what do people know and who knows what? We talk about it in the room all the time but it’s not fully explored, because we do so much with our characters. And it is something we got to do a little bit more [5b] because things got so crazy, is how people actually react to it and how do they talk to our characters about it.

BM: Yeah, it was kind of a point of emphasis coming into the season for Matt McGuinness and Gabrielle Stanton, our show runners, was to live in the reality just a little bit more and show how people would really react to some of this stuff. And having a lot of these two-parter episodes where the case of the week extends into the next episode, which allows us just a little bit more real estate to do that kind of thing.

NP: Yeah, just to live in it. This is the most lively farmers’ market.

BM: Absolutely. Not the first time we’ve seen this farmers’ market. We were here in episode, er, four of the first season; Consumed.

NP: Oh yeah. It is so crowded there.

[As Nathan talks to Reggies] BM: Ah, this is Dylan Taylor as Reggie. And we totally stole the name from True Detective which had aired a few months before we shot this episode.

NP: We are huge fans of True Detective.

BM: And we just needed to give some flavour, and a voice to the character, and so we thought, let’s write him a bit like Reggie Ledoux.

[Having never watched True Detective, I looked Reggie Ledoux up; the fandom.com wiki describes him as a “brutal and vile drug dealer” that manufactures meth for a violent criminal biker gang, and an “accomplice and right-hand man” of a serial-killer. Yikes.]

BM: So we called him Reggie and had always intended on changing it but the name had this kind of blue-collar gritty quality and that’s who the character was. Enough that we wrote in that he has a bit of a Southern drawl, or this back-water drawl.

NP: I think back water. He brought the Southern to it, it was nice.

BM: And he really went for it and it totally worked. But we got a call from set on the first day he was there - he’s a great actor, he’s done a load of stuff, he didn’t audition, he didn’t have to, we were lucky to get him - so he shows up and he’s doing this accent and we get a call from the Producer on set. And she’s saying; I don’t know if we have a problem, but Dylan is doing an accent. And we said; Well check the script, it’s in there, it’s going to be great. And we wound up really enjoying his performance, he’s fantastic. Our showrunner Matt, was upset that he meets an untimely end in the next episode because he wanted us to bring Reggie back. He told us not to kill him but we’d already shot that scene where he dies.

NP: Matt wanted Reggie to be the new Guard back guy. Which is a role we’ve kind of rolled from character to character for production reasons in a lot of ways. But Reggie was so good that we were wondering how we could have him come back and be the Guard bad guy.

[The scene where Nathan gets hit by the Trouble] BM: So something bad is about to happen to Nathan. Which was always the plan for the episode; this has actually been in the works for a long time. We referred to this story as Ghost Nathan. Going back to the first season we had a bank of episodes [that we’d like to do]. And a lot of them were ones that we could never produce, but one of them was a ghost one where we figured we could have someone walking through walls and stuff. And I - maybe it’s because of my unabashed love for the movie Ghost - but I always thought we could do a Ghost Nathan episode. And we never had anything we could do with it. It was one of those things you’d pull it out if it worked for the episode. And it did work for this one. Because we needed the Trouble in this episode to do a few things for us. First of all it works because Lucas Bryant is great at selling the ghost of it all. He’s standing in this room with Kirsty, his wife, and she has to ignore him and he has to sell it - they both do. The best special effect in the episode is not people walking through walls or him sticking his hand through the phone, the best effect is the performance. And it’s not an easy thing; everyone ignoring him and him acting like they can’t see him.

NP: Well yeah and in that scene it was just him there and her ignoring him the entire time, but there’s several scenes where we had to shoot two versions; one with Lucas and one without, and then patch them together.

BM: Yeah even this scene [Duke and Audrey looking at Nathan’s shadow on the floor] there are a couple of wide shots where Nathan’s not in it. WhichI think our producers were not super-happy about because it definitely added to the load that we had to shoot. But Audrey and Nathan have been separated for, what six episodes this season, and they’ve just got back together again. And there was a version where we could have gone with a story where they were the power team back together again. But we liked the idea of a bit of a role reversal. That she would be thrust into this position of trying to get him back. And he’s trying to get back to her. And what that did for their characters and for so many other story lines, particularly the other big thing that we had to deal with in this episode that she’s not immune to the Troubles. So we wanted to go with a Trouble that really played to that. So the idea that she can’t see him now, when any other episode before this one she would have been able to. She would have been able to see him if she was immune and it would have blown up the episode. So this was the perfect time to do it, in an episode where, for the first time ever, Audrey is not immune to the Troubles.

NP: And an important detail is that right now, they don’t know what this Trouble is, so she doesn’t know where he is. The supposition is that he’s dead, and we’ve had dead Nathan before but always found ways to bring him back. But because of the way this Trouble works there’s no body, no nothing, so they have no way to bring him back.

BM: And that scene we just saw [Duke and Audrey finding Nathan’s shadow on the floor] there were versions of it that went a lot further in that direction. Where Duke was basically talking about the idea that it looks like Nathan is dead.

NP: Yeah, he’s gone.

BM: And Audrey was fighting back against him. And it was really, really heavy. And we eventually pulled back on it, I think correctly, because Matt and Gab felt that it was just too sad. We did still play with it a little with Duke, he’s still much closer than Audrey is to believing that the worst has happened. And that makes sense because Duke is not quite as romantic, he’s a little bit more of a realist.

NP: Yep.

BM: And he’s already been through a bunch of bad shit already. And he’s beginning to come around to the idea that he’s just lost Nathan; another punch in the series of punches he’s been taking. But Audrey clings a little bit longer. We wanted her to escalate her anger over the course of the episode as she’s starting to consider that it could be maybe legit. But we definitely pulled back on the two of them holding each other and mourning his loss. Just yet.

NP: Yeah, it will grow.

BM: So the other thing we needed to do in this episode, again talking about the realism of it all, is that we felt like it couldn’t be easy for Audrey to be Audrey again, not with everything that Mara had done. And the best way for us to show that was to have actually the Guard be the main threat in this episode. The case of the week is sort of an issue, but the real threat in this episode ends up being, what is the Guard going to do not understanding the Mara/Audrey situation of it all.

NP: Yeah and just having the Guard as the threat is something we talked about for so long at different times. And this was a good way of escalating it at the right time, with Mara having been the threat that she was for so long, and Dwight being out of town. We did not have the wonderful Adam Copeland for these two episodes, so he’s gone and the Guard is doing their own thing in his absence.

BM: Yeah it wasn’t our choice, really, to have no Adam Copeland in this episode. It was just by his schedule, due to his contract, we were just not going to have him for this episode or the next one. So we kind of got stuck with no Adam, but it wound up really working for the story because I don’t think that the Guard threat could have played as well, with them going off the handle, with him around. So it actually wound up being a story that works because Adam’s gone. It’s almost about the fact that he is gone.

NP: This actor is great, who plays Glen.

BM: Yes, his name is Dylan Trowbridge.

NP: Glen named after Glen Holler/Holland [not sure of the spelling]

BM: Our friend Glen. His last name, Andros, is a Stephen King reference. Nick Andros was the deaf character from The Stand.

NP: Perfect. Got to work in those Stephen King references.

[As Audrey arrives at the farmers’ market] BM: Now, Amy the photographer who Audrey is about to talk to is, the Troubled person of the episode. So we had to plant her in the background when we were here a while ago, and now she’s here too. Because we needed the logic to work in the background. And that’s why there’s also some dialogue here about how she had gone home because the Trouble works when she prints out the photo, when she makes the photo final, the way a painter would finish a painting or whatever. So we had established that she had not been here all day but had gone home and printed some of the photos. She must have liked the looks of Nathan. And then here we have Audrey tell her to send her some pictures and she’s got the hard copies in the next episode. So we imagine that right now, Amy is going home, printing out all the photos she has of Reggie. But maybe her printer is out of ink,

NP: Or it takes her a while to get home.

BM: And then she prints it out of course, the second that Audrey has Reggie at gunpoint and so he disappears.

[As Nathan walks up to the crying woman in the graveyard] NP: Oh remember the fun we had coming up with what this woman is going to say?

BM: Oh my gosh yes. We had always intended there to be a bit of a horror movie scare there. Totally helped by the fact that Rob Lieberman, our director for this episode and the next (as well as other Haven episodes) has a ton of experience in that department. He did Fire In The Sky, super-scary movie. And he’s great. So he totally leaned into it. You can even see here [where Nathan’s talking to the ‘ghosts’] all these interesting canted angles and stuff it just feels a little bit moodier and scarier than it otherwise could. Because if you really look at it, it’s a beautiful day. It would have been great if this was nighttime but we couldn’t shoot any of these scenes at night.

NP: And Chris Masterson does a great job here as Morgan, does an incredible job as the ghost guide, the greeting committe, giving Nathan the rundown on how everything operates. And functionally for the logic of the story it’s really important because of what he’s saying about crossing over as your residual self image. Which is stuff that plays to important plot points later in this episode and the next one.

BM: Especially in your episode. This scene was exposition heavy, it was kind of a bear trying to make it as conversational as possible.

NP: But Chris sells it.

BM: He totally does. But yeah a lot of the stuff that Morgan talks about here about the theories of how it works is his understanding, but his understanding is not correct. But it’s what we have to go with for the time being.

NP: Yeah everything he says is true from his point of view, but his understanding is not correct.

BM: Yeah we were lucky to get Chris for this episode. We had his brother, Danny Masterson, last season in your episode 411. He was one of the two Darkside Seekers. The other Darkside Seeker, Kris Lemche, is about to appear in the next episode.

[As we flash back to Nathan talking to Garland’s ghost] BM: Ooh the flashback. In the exact same cemetery. I always wonder why that says Rufus P. Parker there [on the gravestone between Nathan and Garland]. The Parker kind of threw me off.

[Personally I think it says Barker, but it’s an interesting comment anyway:)]

BM: But we’ve got a bunch of flashbacks, little quick ones like that over the course of the season. And it was sort of by design, not knowing, and still not knowing frankly, whether this would be the last season of the show or not. So just in case it was, we sort of wanted to hearken back to previous seasons before and try to connect things a little bit better. And even just seeing what our characters looked like a couple of years ago has a little bit of an emotional whallop to it.

[As Nathan watches Duke frustratedly flicking through the Crocker journal] BM: So we’re coming up on the twist here at the end of this third act that I used to sell the episode. Because the way that it works on our show, and most shows, is that you’ve got the roadmap of the season (the big things that need to happen), this one we knew this was the first one with Audrey and Mara split, and Mara in the hold of the boat. And we didn’t know a ton else about what it was going to be. We knew that we were going to start pushing Mara and Duke’s relationship as they get to know each other and see eye to eye a little bit more, and then in episode 8 a little bit more, and in episode 9 a little bit more. But that was kind of it.

NP: Episodes 7 and 8 to a large extent were about finishing up the story lines from the first half of the season, and this was platforming for everything that was going to happen in the back end.

BM: So we knew that we needed a big Trouble that would take up these two episodes, and we needed it to help us tell some stories about our characters. But the way that we sold this one with the ghost of it all was basically that - from the get-go from pitching it to our show runners and everybody - was that at the half way point of the episode, ghost!Nathan and Duke are in here and they’re talking to Mara, and Duke leaves, and then she reveals that she can see Nathan. And that was the turning point of the episode. If we’ve done our jobs well enough maybe not everyone saw it coming, I think that a good amount of people probably did see it coming. But it helped us in a lot of ways, it really turned the screws on the Mara story really quickly.

NP: Yep.

BM: Now she’s even more in control because she’s the only person who can see Nathan. And that tells us that Nathan’s not really dead of course. And it tells Nathan that he’s the victim of a Trouble. But it also helped us tell a story about the fact that Mara’s immune to the Troubles and Audrey is not. Which was the big thing that we needed to tackle. And what better way to do it than the fact that Audrey can’t see Nathan and the only person who can, is Mara.

NP: That’s it.

BM: So once we had that as the middle twist of the episode, everyone was on board. There was no going back then.

NP: And the back half of that is something maybe we’ll talk about more in 508 but, because Mara is immune and can see him, how does Audrey use her lack of immunity to her benefit.

BM: Absolutely. The end point of this episode is really about Audrey bottoming out a little bit. We wanted to get her to a place where she kind of has to confess that she is not who she once was, and she maybe can’t do this anymore because she’s lost her, superpower (for lack of a better term). And then the next episode is where she gets her groove back to some extent, and realises that it’s not about her immunity, it’s about whatever she does with whatever she has at her disposal. And she ends up using her lack of immunity to her advantage. So this episode was sort of the Empire Strikes Back, then you’ve got the Return of the Jedi.

NP *sounding doubtful* Well…

BM: Don’t think about it.

NP: Oh there’s Reggie . And I love the other backup Guard member who looks very much like Jordan McKee from previous seasons.

BM: She looks just like her.

[Me: *squints doubtfully at the screen*]

BM: Her name is Justine [I can’t catch the surname]. She has worked on the show in the past and she’s great. She had some lines at some point in time. And a name, I feel like her characters’ name was Riley. And then it ended getting cut because there was just too much going on in the episode and too many people. I should also say while we’re talking about the Guard, that Mitchell, who is coming back to our show, was in episodes three and four. He was a bit of a late addition to those; we were trying to bring back as a returning Guardsman, the guy from episode 403, Bad Blood, but he wasn’t available. So we created a new Guardsman, as Mitchell. And then we brought him back for this episode which was great.

NP: We just needed to have someone with some animosity towards Nathan and the police department who was a more militant member of the Guard.

BM: Absolutely. And we actually tried to bring Mitchell back a couple episodes from now and then he wasn’t available. So we had to go with another person, so it was a bit of a case of musical chairs of Guard members.

[Nathan talking to the two ‘ghosts’ in the graveyard] NP: And Nathan here is revealing the truth.

BM: Yeah. It’s kind of classic. We had been a little bit worried that in the previous acts there was really just that one stretch of 10 minutes where Nathan thinks he’s dead. And no one wanted him to lose his drive, because he should always be trying to figure out what’s going on. But now that he knows that he’s the victim of a Trouble, he’s in Nathan mode. And is going to do whatever he can.

NP: He’s got Case Face now.

BM: Absolutely. But again a lot of this and Morgan’s attitude on hearing what Nathan has to say, pays off more in the next episode. It’s laying the groundwork for the fact that maybe not everyone wants to go back. It’s a little of the insitutionalised thing; a bit of a Shawshank Redemtion thing here that if you get used to living this way maybe you don’t want to go back. Although as we’ll discover in 508, Morgan has a pretty good reason for not wanting to go back.

NP: A very good, if selfish, reason.

BM: Yeah, but you can’t blame him. And that’s what you’re looking for in your motivation for a bad guy. Where when you find out why they’re doing what they’re doing you feel like you’d probably do the same thing.

[As Audrey is pointing her gun at Reggie] BM: Reggie here is a bit lighter on motivation. He’s just a bad guy. But you don’t really stop to think about it because Dylan is so good.

NP: He just sells it.

BM: But even here, his little speech here was important to me to get his POV across a little bit. Which, from his stand point, Audrey has caused all of this to happen, which she did. And then she was Mara, and now she says she’s Audrey but she can’t be trusted; bad things are happening. So why should he listen to her? I put myself in Reggie’s shoes and realised that if the show was about the Guard, Audrey and Nathan would be the bad guys.

NP: Yeah. I also love the aspect of that scene there where Reggie is down on his knees at the mercy of Audrey, much like in his final scene in True Detective, on his knees at the mercy of someone there.

BM: Yeah, totally ripped that off too.

NP: I think there was an earlier version of the script where Nathan runs out of the van there and it drives through him.

*Both being amused at the intense level of concentration on Nathan’s face as he watches Bishop tap the security code into the door*

BM: What you don’t see, is that you have to imagine that in his head for the rest of this scene Nathan is just thinking to himself like; 1283. 1283. Gotta remember the code. 1283. That is why we had it be a four-digit code because if it was six it would be harder to remember. But I love the look of Guard HQ here. Remember Rob Lieberman was totally responsible for it. He mentioned to us when we were on the phone to us, he said; I’m going out on a limb here but I’m thinking like the movie Children of Men. And we were both like; Could not love Children of Men more, please do it.

NP: Such a moody and gritty feel.

BM: But if you recognise a bit of the layout and architecture of the hallway we just saw and the long room here [where Mitchell has Audrey tied to a chair in front of the desk that Bishop’s Trouble disintergrates], this is actually the same building that we used the interior of for the Barn at the end of season three and briefly in season four. I think this is the second floor of that building. The first floor is painted all white, every inch of it, because it was the Barn. And up here it’s the exact same layout but now it’s Guard HQ.

BM: Now poor Bishop.

NP: He has got a rough, rough Trouble

BM: So we imagined that he would have to be one of these people wearing gloves, and that they would have to be these chemical resistant ones because he’s got this acid touch. So then it’s like well he’s going to look silly wearing these giant gloves. Because those gloves are real, they can actually protect against any sort of corrosive acid. So we figured he should be wearing coveralls as well so it kind of matches, so it seems like he’s an industrial type guy. But the actor must have been burning alive because this was the middle of summer in Nova Scotia which means that it was about 90 degrees.

[Nathan talking to Mara again in the hold] BM: So this scene here, in a way is the climax of the episode. At least it was for me. This is where the shit hits the fan. Nathan comes to her with his plan for her to tell Duke what’s happening to Audrey. She says no, and then it’s about getting her to help. And then it all just fell into place; it seemed like the right story to tell about Audrey and Mara. And to be evolving what is Mara’s relationship to them now that she is her own person. Because she’s only going to do what’s in her best interest. And she keeps holding this card over their heads as to whether she’s connected or not. And we went into this season knowing that they weren’t connected, knowing that hurting Mara wasn’t going to hurt Audrey (unlike the thing with William) but that question comprises the entirety of this episode. Because we realised the characters don’t know that. So a lot of this is Duke trying to figure out whether she is or not. And Mara withholding her knowledge. So then we knew that the last beat in this episode would be Mara revealing the truth. Because at that point she doesn’t need them to wonder whether she’s connected or not because she’s got something better, which is that now she knows they need her to help Nathan.

NP: Well and that’s always what her bargaining chip is, that she can’t threaten them with anything, it’s all about the knowledge she possesses.

BM: And the actors all did a great job with this scene. There are takes where Nathan’s there, and when he’s not. But it all really worked. And she is just the right amount of funny in this scene.

NP: And cruel.

BM: Because she’s still enjoying messing with them, and it worked out really well. It really worked out really well. And here, what Eric had to play is realising that Nathan is alive again, but also realising that Audrey’s in Trouble. It’s not as easy as the three of them make it look. But it’s amazing because we have our three leads, they’re back in the same room together, they do this every day for years. But now, she’s the bad guy, Nathan’s a ghost, and Eric has no idea what’s going on. So I was really excited about being able to write a scene - and this is a three or four page scene - with all them in the room together but everything is different from how it usually is.

NP: Yeah, and this was one of the ones that had to be shot twice.

BM: And the other story that we’re telling in this episode is Audrey’s relationship to the town, and them not trusting her, is she lying about who she is, and all this doubt that everyone would have about her, after having lived through the tyranny of Mara for a while. And so the thing that we wanted to do in this scene [as Bishop is dissolving the desk] is kind of to some extent close that story off. It still comes up a bunch of times throughout the season, but she does something here, or could do something here, that proves to them that she is Audrey. She has a kind of I Am Sparticus Moment; I am Audrey Parker. It seemed a little cheesy in the script but Emily totally sells it. And that I Am Audrey Parker moment was an important one for us.

NP: Absolutely.

BM: We started this episode with her kind of in this fetal position trying to grapple with what she is now, finding she’s not immune, what is her identity now. So it felt important to us that she get to a different place by the next episode.

NP: Well yeah because there’s a sense in which her superpower is immunity to the Troubles, but really, on an emotional level, her superpower is her empathy for everybody and understanding what they’re going through. So she’s like; I totally get why you did what you did, so you’re going to be OK. Forgiveness is her thing.

BM: I never noticed that Duke brings Mara a can of food there. That wasn’t in the script. I’ve seen this episode a bunch of times and I never noticed that before, but it makes sense.

[As Mara is cutting her wrist with the chains] BM: We had a bit of an issue here because we knew that we wanted her to cut herself to prove that her and Audrey aren’t connected, but it was only when we were about to start shooting we realised; how is she going to cut herself when she’s chained up? So we had her use one of the chains, and it might be impossible to do in real life, but Emily totally sold it.

NP: Yep, she gets it.

BM: And I love this. We basically get three episodes of Mara in the hold of Duke’s boat. And I love them all. We always thought of it as the Hannibal Lecter scenes and the power play of it between her and Duke, and it really starts to work very well I think in these last two scenes. And super well in episode 8.

NP: It was fun. And I think one of the challenges of this is that we knew she was going to be chained up in the hold, and so the challenge is how do you differentiate each scene, and each episode, and what is the arc for each one? And so we really had to bear down on what they were going to be about.

BM: Well it was kind of a story unto itself, and here she tells us just a little bit that she’s actually affected by it, when she admits that she liked it when they said they needed her. Is she telling the truth, is she not - Duke doesn’t pay her any mind at all and walks out, but what is she thinking, what is she doing? Is she warming to Duke a little bit or does she have some angle that she’s playing - that’s the question we wanted everyone to be asking.

NP: And that’s the question we live in a lot in 508.

[Audrey talking to a ghost!Nathan (kind of) in her apartment] BM: So this scene also just fell into place really naturally. We knew that Nathan’s ghost situation was not going to be resolved at the end of this episode. And we knew that our first Audrey/Nathan scene in that bed over there was this tender scene, and I wanted to get them back in that same room and have them be in the room together but as far apart as possible. And all of the circumstances they have to deal with have kept them apart - again. And so she thinks that he’s there, but doesn’t know for sure that he is. And they’re both great in this scene.

NP: Again credit to both of the actors for selling this, that she’s talking to him but not looking at him.

BM: Yeah I talked to them about it, they really enjoyed doing it because it’s a really heartfelt scene between the two of them and she’s confessing this doubt that she has (and she’s a very confident person) and they’re both there together but she has no idea whether she’s even there or not. And he knows that she can’t hear him. So he’s watching her go through this. And it’s a scene between the two of them that is unlike anything else, in its DNA that we had been able to do before now. So it felt like an opportunity and I think they both felt that way too.

NP: Yep, love this scene.

BM: But we also just wanted them to bottom out a little bit here because then episode 8 is kind of the come back

NP: The Return of the Jedi as you so nicely put it.

BM: Exactly. We unfreeze him from carbonite. We go fight in the forest.

NP: There’s some Ewoks. It’s great.

[Nathan back in the graveyard for the final scene] BM: So this was always the end of the episode, picking up the ghost case of it all. And we always wanted, right on the back of Nathan being confident that he’s safe and he’s going to take care of it, to then come over here and see that his Deputy Glen has been killed. And we always wanted to have this message left for him [“Even ghosts can die”] scrawled on the grave. And we landed on that one pretty quickly because it couldn’t be too long.

NP: And it sets us up nicely for 508.

BM: Thanks for listening everybody, we will see you again for 508.

[vashtijoy]

Today I want to rant at length about highlight a plot-relevant but otherwise rather dry line from Shido's Palace, simply because it's been living rent-free in my head for days and I'll die if I don't.

And up front I want to say: this is not intended as translator bashing, shit like this is rarely on the translator, though I will possibly get a little aerated at times. More about that at the end.

This is really long, and probably very boring. So to summarise quickly:

Ooe's "diplomat" and "president of some company" are the Minister for Transport and the railway company president from the 4/10 cinematic with Sae and the SIU director;

Shido wasn't "specially appointed", he's the Minister of State for Special Missions, likely with oversight for either the PTs or the psychotic breakdowns;

being a pro translator sucks;

something about a well.

my least favourite line so far

Shadow Politician 春先に地下鉄事故があっただろう?狙ったのは、あの運転士だからな。 harusaki ni chikatetsu jiko ga atta darou? neratta no wa, ano untenshu da kara na Do you recall the subway accident early last spring? The one I had targeted was that engineer.

nb—this "engineer" is the train driver. I didn't get this at all, but apparently train drivers are called engineers in the US? This is a good example of how something you think is a mistranslation may not be.

There is an occasion where the guy is referred to as a "driver", but this is actually 車掌 shashou—in Japanese, a conductor in the British sense, the member of staff who is not the driver, but walks up and down checking tickets. This is meant to hint to us, I suspect, that the NPC saying this may not be a reliable source—he's making some spooky claims, after all. Yet again, in America, the conductor can be the driver of the train...? IDK, confusion abounds.

But on to the important bit:

Shadow Politician 目障りな国交大臣と、現政権派の社長のクビを取るためだった。mezawarina kokkou daijin to, genseiken-ha no shachou no kubi o toru tame datta It was to take out the president of some company and a diplomat who sided with current government.

Full disclosure: I have never liked this line. It screamed of being mistranslated. "The president of some company"? Ooe had this guy destroyed, and he can't be specific? And "a diplomat"? This has come from nowhere—I can't think of another diplomat in P5. It just all seems so random. And it is random. Because this was meant to close up a background plot element from the start of the game, and it just... doesn't any more.

So, for this one, I'm just going to break out the big red DENIED stamp again:

The hell of it all is that I can see what they did here, so I'm going to go through it at excessive length, as like... an object lesson in what not to do. Not just for you, but for me.

And I need to be clear up front that I'm not an authoritative source on the Japanese language. I'm not fluent, my Japanese is barely passable (which is why asks, comments and discussion on my language posts are all always super welcome, btw, just like for everything else I post). I'm just a weeb on the Internet, who constantly posts assertions and theories that future me will hate. Bring your salt shaker.

Quick glimpse behind the curtain: this is from my Google doc for Shido's Palace. You have the textbox code, the speaker, then the text in Japanese, romaji and the localisation. Usually these days I don't add the romaji (it's not good for your reading), but lines that go into posts get it temporarily.

Words I don't know, or had to verify (like shachou, where I wanted to know if it was always a company president or if it could be a role within a political faction), or lore/grammar notes, all get comments, which are highlighted in yellow.

the peril of dictionaries

I'm bilingual English/Welsh-speaking; until I was fifteen, I was educated through the medium of Welsh. So I got taught very early on about the correct use of dictionaries. The exact example I remember is that a past pupil (probably apocryphal) wanted to put "Well, Dad was angry!" into Welsh. And they had looked up "well"....

ffynnon, roedd Dad yn grac! Well, Dad was angry!

This is a ffynnon:

It's a funny story. The point is that you should always flip to the other half of the dictionary to verify the meaning you found. Or these days, with the Internet and all, we get to check multiple dictionaries, corpuses and sources! And a riotously good time it is.

part one: who was that mysterious diplomat

The main phrase I want to focus on is 国交大臣 kokkou daijin. This is what has been rendered "a diplomat" in the localisation. On first glance, that's a string of kanji I don't know: country, the right-hand side of the second half of 学校 gakkou (school), something about a big man... is that read daijin?...

Maybe it's a yojijukugo—a fixed four-kanji phrase with an often-idiomatic meaning? Let's put the whole thing into Jisho and see what we get.

(Incidentally, I bash Jisho constantly, but it's still my first stop because it's fast and often good enough. You just shouldn't rely on it for anything critical; trust, but verify.)

B|

Well, there's no yojijukugo. But one glance at that tells us that Ooe's "diplomat" is not a diplomat at all. Ooe's "diplomat" is the Minister for Transport who was brought down as a result of this subway crash in April. You might have thought Shido had this guy taken out, but no. He did it for Ooe. He crashed a subway train, injuring 80 people, as nothing but a favour to Ooe.

But why is it using kokkou, "diplomatic relations"? Well, Jisho gives us a convenient "see also" link. Let's take a look:

You see what they did there? The full phrase is 国土交通相 kokudo koutsuu-shou, "Minister for (National) Land and Transport". But nobody wants to say that. So you strike out some of the kanji. The word becomes kokkoushou—but everyone still knows who you mean.

Let's do a bit of that verification I mentioned. Here's Wikipedia:

HmmMM. Notice how the Minister and the Ministry are read the same; only the last kanji changes. But we're still on track.

Let's click over to Japanese Wikipedia. What do they have to say?

And there it is again, highlighted: our old friend 国交 kokkou, "diplomatic relations". "In Japanese, this is commonly abbreviated as kokkoushou".

daijin

How about 大臣 daijin? It looks like it just means "big man" or "important man", but what does it actually mean? Again, let's start with Jisho:

... B|

Jisho offers us a bunch of "further reference" links, so I'm going to go straight to Japanese Wikipedia for this one—which sends you to an old revision of the page, by the way; be sure to go to the latest one:

大臣（だいじん）は、本来は皇帝や国王などを輔弼して国政を司る重要官職だが、今日では一般的に君主制か共和制かにかかわらず、政府を構成し、各行政部門の長に位置する官職を指す。閣僚ともいう。 Historically, 大臣 daijin referred to the high position of those responsible for matters of state, who advised emperors and kings on those matters. However, today it generally refers, regardless of whether the government in question is a monarchy or republic, to an official who leads a division of government.

... ... B|

In other words, a cabinet minister. Seems to sum it up pretty well, but let's just look at the invaluable ALC corpus on this:

So we have it. A daijin is unquestionably a cabinet minister. And Ooe is unquestionably talking about the Minister for Transport.

last-minute edit: I actually wrote this entire post, preened for completing it, then closed it in my drafts and forgot all about it. Until I opened my grammar text to a random page and found this:

EVEN MY GRAMMAR BOOK KNOWS.

Actual grammar books are a bit obsolete in 2023, but that is a great one if you're in the market. Just don't get the Kindle edition, it's illegible on Kindle which is probably not what you want.

Incidentally, yes, a Diet member is sensei—you can often hear people refer to Shido that way.

but we can also backreference this one

Another cool thing we can do is get context-relevant examples. That is, we can search the P5 script itself to see how it uses daijin and kokkou daijin.

Two lines use kokkou daijin. One is this line of Ooe's. The other is a news story, which gets it right:

Newscaster 国交大臣の辞任に伴い、与党への批判が高まっており⋯ kokkou daijin no jinin ni tomanai, yotou e no hihan ga takamatte ori... Criticism of the ruling party has surged, following the resignation of the Minister of Transport.

But people talk about the Minister quite a bit. What phrases do they use? Well, sometimes he's simply the daijin—"the Minister"; this usually becomes "Minister of Transport" for context. Sometimes he's the kokkoushou, as we discussed above. And often, on the news, he gets his full title—he's the kokudo koutsuu daijin.

Usually, daijin by itself in P5 is part of 総理大臣 souri daijin—the prime minister.

meanwhile in shidoland

In passing, the MoT is not the only one who gets translated out of the script. You might remember from the calling card cinematic that Shido is the "Minister of State for Special Missions".

Makoto tries to tell us this at one point:

Makoto 特命担当大臣現職の閣僚よ tokumei tantou daijin genshoku no kanryou yo He was specially appointed to the position. That's his current title. He's the current Minister of State for Special Missions.

(What is that, exactly? I'm not gonna do a huge research effort on this one right now, this post is already longer than the Nile and dry as sand, but they appear to be appointed to deal with things that are a big deal—the link gives you examples of some of the issues they've been appointed for. It's not inconceivable that Shido was appointed to the Cabinet to deal with the national crisis of psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns that he started. Either that, or the PTs themselves—he does talk about them an awful lot.)

and that's not all

There is, of course, a real Japanese Minister for Transport. We can put kokkou daijin into Google (with a little は on the end to filter Chinese-language sites), and what do we get back? The first hit is the Wikipedia page for the Minister for Transport.

My guess would be that the translator knew the word kokkou, but they didn't have an encyclopaedic knowledge of Japanese politics. So they read kokkou daijin as some kind of important diplomat.

part two: in which we invent time travel

And that was only the first of the two things that made me hate my life about that textbox. Let's bring the line back:

Shadow Politician 目障りな国交大臣と、現政権派の社長のクビを取るためだった。mezawarina kokkou daijin to, genseiken-ha no shachou no kubi o toru tame datta It was to take out the president of some company and a diplomat who sided with current government.

The second thing that got under my skin was this:

現政権派の社長 genseiken-ha no shachou

This means, in the terms of the localisation, "a company president who sided with current government". But... what is even going on here?

In Japanese, modifiers go before the things they modify, right? Like ... always. I'm going to cite the slightly-tongue-in-cheek but also inestimable Jay Rubin (probably best known as Haruki Murakami's English translator) on this:

... by about the middle of the seventh century, the Emperor, who still wielded actual power then, made a rule, maybe the one rule that really works in the language and never gets broken: “From this day forward, subjects will always come before their verbs. And, just to keep things neat, modifiers will always come before what they modify.” Never in all these centuries have there been any exceptions—at least not in normal syntax....

Shōmetsu shita zō is “The elephant that vanished”—a fragment, just a noun with a modifier in front of it. By putting it before the zō, we’ve changed the shōmetsu shita into a modifier. I’m going to go way out on a limb here and call anything that modifies a noun an adjective. Shōmetsu shita zō (literally, “vanished elephant”) works exactly the same way as utsukushii zō (“beautiful elephant”).

(That's from the book "Making Sense of Japanese", by the way, which y'all should totally read if you can find a copy. It's one of Kodansha's little books, which are all worth at least a glance; they published tons of them, with titles like "All About Particles" and "How To Sound Intelligent In Japanese" and etc etc etc.)

back to our sentence

So how is this translation breaking that rule? Let's look at it again, with the problematic parts bolded:

目障りな国交大臣と、現政権派の社長のクビを取るためだった。mezawarina kokkou daijin to, genseiken-ha no shachou no kubi o toru tame datta It was to take out the president of some company and a diplomat who sided with current government.

現政権派 genseiken-ha is the current government; the current administration. No problems there. It's just in the wrong place.

kokkou daijin, we established, is the localisation's "diplomat". genseiken-ha no translates as "aligned with the current government". But genseiken-ha is after kokkou daijin. It cannot be modifying it. It can't have been taken for a relative clause—what Jay Rubin framed as an adjective in the quote up there—because we still have the two people the sentence describes, the "diplomat" and the businessman; the sentence has not been read as talking about a diplomat who is also a government-boosting company president.

We should have, literally, "an eyesore of a minister for transport" and "a company president who sides with current government". But we just... don't.

Is it possible it doesn't make sense that a company president would be aligned with the government? Has the sentence been rearranged for that reason? But this is essentially what Okumura does: he's a company boss aligned with a powerful politician. So are the TV and IT Execs whose shadows we meet, for that matter. They are not in politics themselves, but they network with politicians. Big business and politics are always hand-in-hand.

All of this gives us the following working version of the translation:

It was to take down that intolerable Minister of Transport and a company president who supported the government.

And on that note....

who is that mysterious company president

"the president of some company", the localisation says. This seems a bit vagued up. Are there any company presidents we should be aware of here?

The answer is yes:

On 4/10, in the cinematic after the crash, the SIU Director talks at length about how this is the fault of "the company and the government". Of course he does—he knows very well what's happened, and he knows where the blame is to be assigned:

SIU Director: It's less of an operating accident and more of a crime of the company and the government. SIU Director: Site inspectors apparently reported all of this six months ago—the deterioration of the tracks and the ATC.

And the last two lines in full, since they diverge:

SIU Director それを会社が隠ぺい…国交省も故意に見逃したフツがある。 sore o kaisha ga inpei... kokkoushou mo koi ni minogashita futsu ga aru Seems the railway company and the Ministry of Transport both turned a blind eye to the truth. So the railway company covered it up... and the Ministry of Transport did what they do best: they turned a blind eye to it..

This is just a slight difference in emphasis: the railway company allegedly performed a deliberate coverup, and it was the Ministry that did their normal thing, and chose to overlook that coverup....

But note that "railway company" here is just 会社 kaisha, "company". Originally, it was obvious from context; the localisation clarifies it. But when Ooe later mentions a 社交 shachou, a "company president", in the same obvious-from-context way, it has not been picked up on—our very personal railway company president has become "the president of some company". Who was important enough for Ooe to personally destroy, but not important enough for him to remember where he worked.

SIU Director 隠し通せんよ。大臣の進退まで行くだろう。 kakushitoosen yo. daijin no shintai made iku darou There's no way they can hide. This will go all the way to the top. They can't keep this hushed up forever. By the end of this, the transport minister's job will be on the line.

... but here's the first real appearance of the Minister for Transport, with the SIU Director—who, again let's not forget, knows this crash was engineered in part to get that minister—not just saying this incident will "go all the way to the top", but that it will specifically end with them coming for the minister's job.

where did we come from, where did we go

Where does that leave us with the sentence?

It was to take out the president of some company and a diplomat who sided with current government. It was to take down that intolerable Minister of Transport, and the president of the railway company. He supported the government, after all.

We've broken that little genseiken-ha out into its own little explaining sentence, since it's hard to phrase as one sentence in natural English. And now you know.

btw, leave the translators alone

Look, this is far from the best translation I've ever seen. We should be mad about this, right? Well... no.

As a hobbyist, I have the luxury of focusing on a single fandom, spending hours, days, or weeks thinking about single scenes, researching context, language and concepts, confirming I've understood things to the best of my ability. Your average animanga/JRPG translator is not being paid well enough, or given nearly enough time, to do this. They cannot be expected to do this.

This is not, not, NOT on the translator. Read that ten times. We are supposed to go from our second language to our native tongue; that's how translation works best. So there will always be areas of confusion like this, things that need clarification and research. Japanese media translation requires a vast knowledge of differently arcane terms depending on the work; nobody will know them all.

Who is this on? It's on Atlus, for skimping on and rushing not only the translation but the editing; they did the English localisation of a massive property on the cheap. Something like this should have been caught by the editor, but honestly P5's editing (including the way things are finalised in English, and the overall polishing of the script) tends to come in for more criticism than the translation per se.

tl;dr: blame the company, not the poor translator who was most likely just one of us trying to make a shitty living with something they love, and a skill they worked their ass off for.

[burning-sol]

BIG EXANDROTH POST

this is my big post where i ramble abt exandroth. spoilers for all of apotheosis.

(HEY THIS IS XANDER HERE) (I'M POSTING THIS EARLY SO THIS IS NOT COMPLETE NOR MOST ELOQUENTLY PUT) (IF SOL GETS AROUND TO IT THEY'LL FIX THIS POST THEMSELVES) (BUT I THINK IT'S BETTER THAT THIS GOES OUT THERE RATHER THAN JUST GET BURIED IN SOL'S DRAFTS AND NEVER SEES THE LIGHT OF DAY) (SO HERE YOU GO) (I ADD NOTES THROUGHOUT WHEN I THINK IT'S NEEDED)

Exandroth /neg

Okay so I figure before we move onto ANYTHING else in this post, we're going to have to talk the fucking WORST thing about Exandroth. You know it, you hate it, it's Exandroth's relationship to Peter. Because this needs to talked about so we all know we're on the same page about Exandroth being an asshole.

I think there's a misconception about Exandroth that Exandroth wants to actively hurt everyone, that she doesn't care about anybody and will do whatever it takes to achieve its goal - or something along those lines. But I think it can be more accurately summarised as the following quote.

Episode 2: Charlie: He seems like he's absolutely being serious about killing these blights, and it's pretty apparent from the battle earlier...that he's like just kind of will do whatever to Peter to get there.

It's not that Exandroth doesn't care about others, it doesn't care about Peter. Exandroth makes fun of Thanatos and teases Rumi, but that sort of actual hurt and intended abuse is always directed at Peter. Outside of any sadistic delight Exandroth gets from killing combatants, Exandroth enjoys harassing Peter and bullying him and does not mind that Peter gets hurt in the slightest. Exandroth cares about Peter to the extent that Peter is a vehicle necessary to navigate her surroundings, and will keep Peter fit enough to function but doesn't take any measure to make sure Peter is comfortable.

To give Exandroth the tiniest of credit, possession in Exandroth's case cannot be completely absent of pain. Regardless of who Exandroth had chosen, Exandroth can't control if Peter gets intrusive 'visions' (briefly mentioned in episode 2, they're not confirmed to be caused by Exandroth but I think there's a good chance they are), or if Peter's time being possessed he can only see fire, or if the magic Exandroth casts causes pain to the host. Anyone who is a host for Exandroth is going to experience pain and discomfort presumably because a human (or what have you) body is just not fit to host a celestial being.

HOWEVER, Exandroth is a fucking shit head who has committed the following:

Exandroth did not inform Peter of what the possession would entail and moreso just forced itself on Peter, making this possession built on a very not consenual agreement.

Constantly and forcefully takes control of Peter without permission. In episode 6, Peter elects to give Exandroth some control and suggests setting up boundaries. Exandroth COMPLETELY ignores Peter and takes full control. Exandroth is not at all respectful of Peter's autonomy.

Exandroth refers to Peter as "just a wand" and generally just dehumanises Peter, viewing him as a tool to achieve her goal rather than someone who she should be collaborating with as an equal.

Using magic causes pain to Peter that Exandroth never addresses, apologises for or attempts to mitigate.

When Peter talks about the idea of trying to get Exandroth to use its magic to help people (episode 4), Exandroth starts to LIQUIFY Peter's leg. YIKES.

I believe it's episode 7 that the worm place is introduced; which becomes a place of torment Exandroth sends Peter, and is shown to very much traumatise Peter to point of being discomforted (you could presume even triggered) by the mention of worms. Peter brings up only seeing fire or blacking out previous to this, which I interpret as being a baseline, meanwhile the worm place is something Exandroth actively inflicts on Peter.

We don't know every little detail of Exandroth's time possessing Peter, but Charlie does say that Exandroth made Peter's life a living hell and ruined his life and I don't believe that's an exaggeration in the slightest. I may have missed things, I'm very sure that there's more I could talk about, but this last point summises everything pretty well.

Exandroth is a DICK and DEFINITELY Peter's antagonist. Peter absolutely needed Exandroth out of his fucking life because Exandroth was a constant tormentor. And I'm going to bring up the idea of Exandroth being redeemed later, but let it be known that in no way do I think that entails Peter forgiving Exandroth or making any effort to help Exandroth better itself. Peter doesn't have to be associated with this thing. Peter shouldn't be expected to associate with this thing. Peter shows Exandroth more kindness than what Exandroth deserves and Peter is absolutely amazing.

I love Peter and I wish to crush Exandroth cause what the actual fuck is wrong with this guy, she's such a prick.

I also think it is absolutely messed up that after all of Exandroth's bullshit, when shit hits the fans and Peter dies, Exandroth blames Peter and calls him a "feeble insect". But that's enough on that.

The narrative Rumi tells

Rumi is not a reliable narrator and they act with a subconscious (or conscious) need to maintain their identity. Nobody missed this, we understand this, but let's take this and apply this to Rumi's relationship with Exandroth. Because Exandroth never appeared in Rumi's visions. Rumi only ever saw Peter. How does this affect Rumi's perception of Exandroth?

My interpretation is Rumi probably subconsciously saw Exandroth as a threat far before any confirmation of Exandroth's character. Exandroth is an uncomfortable outlier; and Rumi could either accept that outlier - accepting their visions weren't entirely correct - OR they could force it to fit in a role that doesn't threaten their identity.

Firstly, through the rejection of Exandroth entirely. It's notable to me that Rumi entirely ignores Peter's comments about Exandroth even as he shows obvious signs of possession (dramatic change in body language, the voice, eclipsed eyes, the horrors, etc). Rumi makes comments praising Peter, "Peter, that was fantastic," You're monstrous Peter!" and it's an entire hour into the episode when Rumi first acknowledges Exandroth; not by his name, but as "the angel inside of you [Peter]". And if this seems like a strange comment, just know that in comparison it took Thanatos DRAMATICALLY less time to latch onto Exandroth's name and use it without issue. For me, it goes past being a bit to feeling like it's something Rumi is skirting around.

In the next episode, Rumi does ask to talk to Exandroth and introduces themselves but soon after delves into a line of questioning surrounding Peter and if Exandroth can transfer her power. This isn't to say that these are unreasonable questions, but I would pose that these questions prioritise Peter more than actually getting to know Exandroth. And Rumi also asked whether Peter was the master of Exandroth or Exandroth was the master of Peter (IN that order) which just seems like a kinda fucked up thing to ask imo.

Obviously, there is a certain point where Exandroth's actions speak for themselves, and Rumi would be right for judging Exandroth harshly, but many of these early interactions can be interpretted as being skewed in Peter's favour.

When it comes to how Rumi treats Exandroth, I percieve things progressing as follows: Exandroth is treated as an entity that doesn't exist; Exandroth does exist but it just an accessory to Peter; Exandroth is an UNWELCOME accessory to Peter; Exandroth is a thing for Peter to conquer as a way for Peter to become a strong individual.

The emphasis being that in each case Exandroth is NOT an individual. Because if Exandroth was an individual that exists then that means Rumi's visions don't line up properly. It was never meant to be FOUR god slayers, it was MEANT to be Rumi, Thanatos and Peter. So even before the outright sabotage of Rumi's visions, Rumi was set up to view Exandroth poorly. Although we agree with Rumi that Exandroth is no good, Rumi did not necessarily follow the same line of thought as we did. This wasn't JUST Rumi looking out for Peter, it was Rumi protecting their identity.

I think this also clears up in my mind why Rumi would have a sort of double standard when it comes to Thanatos. Thanatos IS more redeemable than Exandroth, for fucking sure, but this ONE line I obsess over because of the sheer dissonance of it.

"Thanatos, unlike Exandroth, I've observed has some semblance of a liking towards the living. Starting with that Lizard, and perhaps your family in the past."

It really throws a wrench in this whole 'Thanatos is redeemable but Exandroth isn't' thing when you use an example like that. Because, if you don't know, Exandroth LOVES Lizard and has an OUTPOURING of affection towards it. Exandroth BLESSED Lizard, CONNECTED a part of itself Lizard... What is the difference between Thanatos' affection for Lizard and Exandroth's? I turn this over in my mind repeatedly.

More On Dehumanising Exandroth

Okay but let's REALLY think about how Exandroth is treated. Obviously there's all of Rumi's case I lay out earlier but even generally speaking NOBODY really treats Exandroth with the same level of individuality as they would each other. A lot of talk around Exandroth was about his use as an asset to the team; about it being attached to Peter and what that meant for Peter; or about Exandroth's role in the attack on the celestial realm. Times where the god slayers are being introduced, Exandroth has gotten left out more than once.

When Exandroth was out and about in episode 10, she commented that he actually felt like staying out for a while and seemed to have been enjoying socialising with everyone: only to then be told to go away because Tristan(?) found Exandroth annoying. And the others didn't disagree.

This is something that became more apparent as I watched back over the clips and realised there was just SO much talk ABOUT Exandroth but not a lot of talk TO Exandroth. And when there WAS talk to Exandroth, you can be sure that it didn't really amount to much on a personal level. And this is not even bringing in the outright hostility towards him.

Exandroth is very tolerant of this and at worst just gets a bit defiant, saying that he's not going to leave of his own accord. He doesn't act hostile towards the others at all... He did say he could turn Thanatos into spiders if they were in a fight. Recited "boil" repeatedly in response to Rumi trying to use a command spell. He joked about killing Rumi when she was carrying them in the air. But an actual direct and hostile threat? That it initiated? Never. If anything, Grizzly and Condi in a Just Rolled expressed that they wanted to kill Exandroth and take its power. Fun.

Grizzly makes the a comment in episode 12 that Exandroth is a sort of "flaw for Peter". (HEY I'M NOT EXPANDING ON THIS BUT THE POINT SOL WAS GOING TO MAKE WAS THAT EXANDROTH WAS PLACED MORE AS AN ASSET TO PETER'S CHARACTER AND THE GENERAL PLOT OF APOTHEOSIS RATHER THAN HIS OWN CHARACTER) (EXANDROTH IS NOT CONSIDERED A CHARACTER WITH HER OWN ARC, EXANDROTH IS IN SERVICE TO THE OTHERS IN THE STORY) (THAT WAS THE JIST OF IT) (I'M SURE THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE SOL WANTED TO ADD HERE BUT WE'RE MOVING ON)

Let's talk about episode 13

SUMMARY OF EXANDROTH IN THIS EPISODE:

We open up. Exandroth is shifting in form and is "not fully intact" before settling on being Rumi, confusing Peter in the process. Exandroth speaks in a way that's unusual for him and even describes himself as wanting a "perfect" vessel to become god (Exandroth has not shown any fixation on being "perfect" before now). Exandroth attempts to possess the sword before being interrupted. They fight. Exandroth uses her sword for attacks, it continues to come off as very not Exandroth.

Peter cracks open Exandroth's form to reveal the form of Peter. Exandroth's mannerisms and fighting becomes dramatically more Exandroth-like, though he does sound nasally like Peter would. Exandroth comments that he's going to take everything Peter loves. He also has a bag of rocks but Exandroth has painted them all to be Rumi. As Exandroth takes more hits the form wobbles and stretches like someone were manipulating vertexes in Blender.

Exandroth mutters 'he didn't want to do this' before his body EXPLODES into light as his angelic form peels out from the body. And then she fights epically with Peter. And it loses. The end. Kill your gays trope real, Exandroth confessed love for Rumi and got sent to superhell. Very sad. END OF SUMMARY.

What I'm SO intruiged by in this fight is the forms that Exandroth takes, particularly that Exandroth takes the form of Peter of all people. The worm. The imperfect vessel. I mean obviously it makes for a really epic Peter vs Evil Peter scenario. It's also like "WOAH if Exandroth is taking the form of Peter, that's a testament to how strong Peter actually was this whole time". But aside from that, maybe it's reflective of how Exandroth has grown attached to this version of itself.

In terms of phases, you could theorise that there's a progression of what Exandroth wanted to be (Rumi) -> what identity Exandroth had grown attached to (using Peter's body as a vessel) -> and what Exandroth actually is (the Archangel of Justice and Retribution). A desperation to cling onto a sense of humanity, to cling onto these new memories and experiences and emotions. "I didn't want to use this." Why not, Exandroth? Hasn't all this time Exandroth been playing up their prowess, their superiority, their celestial power over the duration of the series? Aside from it being a cool last phase, last resort of power... Maybe Exandroth has grown a distaste towards their celestial self.

It WAS an entire year Exandroth spent attached Peter. So it's not so far fetched to assume that Exandroth started to identify itself with Peter's body.

(ALSO MAYBE EXANDROTH'S TAKING PETER'S FORM WAS LIKE) (IT WAS MAKING OF SHOW OF HOW EXANDROTH WANTED TO STEAL PETER'S LIFE) (IMPERSONATING PETER) (YEAH I THINK THAT WAS SOMETHING ELSE SOL WANTED TO BRING UP)

Exandroth was in LOVE

There is not much to this point. It just. It means something to me that Exandroth was able to pick up on a human emotion. And sure, it didn't know what the fuck to do with that emotion and expressed it in an unhealthy way... But it was SOMETHING. And how much more could have Exandroth picked up on? Could Exandroth have become more than just retribution, rage and sadistic delight?

Exandroth was an ally of humanity, Exandroth walked alongside people, and Exandroth was becoming more human itself. Going to LOSE my marbles.

(INSERT MORE EXPANSION ON THIS POINT) (BUT YEAH EXANDROTH WAS DEVELOPING EMOTIONS IT DIDN'T HAVE BEFORE AS A CELESTIAL) (THAT'S COOL)

Loveable Idiot

Okay but if I may be sooo silly about this thing he is SOOO stupid and I love it. She had fuckinnnggg no awareness about him it KILLED me.

I love when he just fucking gets distracted by a squirrel and INCINERATES it. This thing doesn't have an attention span like.

Also I just find it very cute that Exandroth it jsut a sleepy lil' thing. Described as napping on several occassions. Going absolute sleepy mode. Now that I think about it you could probably interpret some of Exandroth's incomprehensible speeching as a result of the sleepiness.

(UM YEAH SOL WAS GOING TO GUSH MORE HERE)

Some other notes

In episode 2 when Rumi is going off about how Peter is a part of the trio, Exandroth tries to come out but doesn't manage to get a hold of the reigns. I can only imagine that Exandroth wanted to tell Rumi that he was meant to be Rumi's comrade, not Peter, but didn't get the chance to. And a reminder that Zuen had picked Exandroth as a chosen so yeah I linger on this first interaction a bit.

A clip I'm OBSESSED with is this one. I just think that Rumi and Exandroth could work SO well together in a horrible way because. Rumi doesn't want to directly kill anyone... But Exandroth does!! And if THIS sort of interaction happened more often? Ooooo I love it. I love it SO much. Something something Exandroth will take blood on its hands that Rumi doesn't want. Something like that.

Exandroth's first encounter vs Exandroth second encounter with Rymir is a VERY stark comparison. Exandroth's first encounter with Rymir he just couldn't contain his sheer rage at Rymir (who imprisoned him after Exandroth's treason, which is deserved but ofc Exandroth would be upset over it). Exandroth FORCED himself out and went for the throat. But Exandroth's second encounter he didn't try to crawl his way out, he only came out when allowed. Not only that but he... Sat there. Just. Made some your mom jokes and left as quickly as she came. Maybe it was pacified by Rumi? Maybe Exandroth just was holding themselves back? Up to your interpretation.

Exandroth barely had a prescence in episode 12- even during the fight which is very uncharacteristic of Exandroth. The one time Exandroth used magic was to help Peter dispell the Moon Beast of all things. Just think about that. (SOL ALSO BROUGHT UP IN ANOTHER POST ABOUT EXANDROTH WANTING TO BE FREE AND ALSO FREEING THE MOON BEAST) (SIDENOTE: ALSO SOMETHING ABOUT HOW EXANDROTH SORT OF IMPRISONS PETER)

I posted this clip where both Exandroth and Rumi use their commands spells to say "obey" which. Yeah. You know. That's something!

Exandroth's expulsion from the celestial realm

For me I initially had the theory when I first started Apotheosis that the reason he was cast out of heaven in the first place was because he liked his job too much. He was the Angel of Retribution, but took it to a point where he was giving punishments that even the Gods thought were a little much. He's shown to be extremely sadistic, so it made sense to me. -Shiloh205

Answering the easiest part first: Exandroth wasn't cast out of the celestial realm by the gods.

Exandroth, as part of a plan agreed on with Zuen, went down to Earth(?) 15 years ago and had a hand in the creation of an army of Thanatos that would storm the celestial realm. At some point, Exandroth returned to the celestial realm and was imprisoned for its treachery by the gods for the next who knows how long. It was during the attack on the celestial realm that Zuen unchained Exandroth and set her free, Zuen destroying the celestial realm (the sky disappearing as a result) and leading into the events of episode 1. Zuen let Exandroth free as a part of their deal and because Zuen had selected Exandroth as one of his "chosen". (Zuen wanted there to be a fight of ideals between Exandroth, Rumi and Thanatos but this didn't pan out most likely because of Peter's presence - who was NOT chosen by Zuen but instead chosen by Exandroth)

Why did Exandroth do this though? Here are quotes that I think are relevant.

Episode 2: Thanatos: What does Exandroth seek? ... Exandroth: ...to kill the blights that plague this land, using the body of this boy and my immense magical power. I shall cover the world in Exandroth's light and show it the true meaning of retribution.

Episode 3: Exandroth: I have big beef with the gods. Their hubris will be their undoing. You see, they've made a deal with me that I can stand against them and test their might. But they look down on upon me. And I will earn my freedom from them, with my power. Rumi: Oh, so the gods enslave you, Exandroth? Exandroth: Ouh, they suck. Ough. Thanatos: You seek to destroy them? Exandroth: For sure.

Episode 5: Peter: I don't know, maybe- maybe I can be shaken out of it. But it's.. I don't think it'll be easy. Especially not if it's something like killing a blight, that he's really trying to do... And I- And I feel that anger.

Episode 10: Thanatos: You were the first to assault the gods? Exandroth: Oh they have been laying waste to everything for a long, long time before I took my job as Archangel of Retribution to its word and commenced a great reckoning.

Episode 10: Rumi: But I recall you saying that once all the gods are dead, you will be in control? Exandroth: I mean, yeah, 'cause the gods won't be there anymore, so we will all be in control of our own destinies. Rumi: Is that the goal Exandroth, I thought the goal was to um.. Exandroth: It's to kill the gods first of all... It's to retribution.. It's sort of my thi- whole- the entire thing is retribution so..

Episode 10: Charlie: Condi, unless I'm wrong, retribution is his whole thing. Like, he's pissed at basically the gods for fucking with him for so long.

Episode 10: Rumi: Exandroth, once all the gods are dead, you're going to leave humanity alone and go away? Exandroth: I mean unless it like... Unless it would want something I guess? But like I'm not- You know, I'm an angel? I- I'll retribute if someone's like a fucking ass. I'll fuckin- I'll blast 'em! ... Rumi: So you're saying once we finish killing all the gods, you'll free Peter and leave humans who are not evil alone? Exandroth: I mean, yeah, we can talk about it. ... Exandroth: That's pretty much it. Really just retribution. Fuck 'em up real bad.

From these quotes I think it can be gathered that Exandroth had three motivations behind betraying the gods. The first being that Exandroth was constrained in some way (maybe not letting him do what he wanted or maybe an physical constraint, we don't know the details) and wanted freedom from them. The second being that it seems that Exandroth has something to prove, that he wants to be a force that rivals the gods by challenging them. The gods definitely have a streak of acting condescending, even specifically towards Exandroth, so I'd say this also checks out. The third being that Exandroth is an Angel of Retribution and Justice who judged the gods as deserving of retribution, and carried out whatever it would take to enact this retribution. In general, we know that there was definitely SOMETHING that the gods did to Exandroth other than chaining him up, because he is described as being VERY upset at them - filled with an anger that Peter can feel too. So maybe there was that personal need for retribution outside of the Gods' neglect of the people in general.

I know someone might comment that becoming god was also a motivation for Exandroth. To me, I don't find this nearly as clear as everything else listed. Exandroth definitely wanted to be god post being stabbed by Thanatos; but, as I said before, I think this is more symptomatic of Exandroth attempting to embody Rumi and misconstruing what Rumi's goal was. Outside of this Exandroth doesn't say whether or not his goal from the start was to become a god. If anything, he more strongly insists that he just wants to be a force of retribution in the world - which is backed up by insight checks made by both Bizly and Grizzly at different points. Which falls under the previously listed motivation.

This isn't to say that Exandroth didn't want to become god, just that there isn't evidence to say it was his initial motivation or even a primary motivation. It may have been a side effect of his other motivations, similar to Rumi's situation, but it was not Exandroth's driving force. Maybe Exandroth would have even been open to negotiating his position if, "I mean, yeah, we can talk about it," can be taken optimistically.

That is what I have gathered on Exandroth's situation in the celestial realm - concerning what events happened and what his motivations are.

(ALSO, ZUEN DID MANIPULATE BOTH RUMI AND THANATOS INTO POSITIONS AS CHOSEN) (AND EXANDROTH ISN'T EXACTLY THE MOST SMART OF THE GROUP) (IT'S NOT CANON BUT I THINK IT'S EASY TO EXTRAPOLATE THAT EXANDROTH WAS MOST LIKELY MANIPULATED BY ZUEN TOO) (PERHAPS EVEN TO A MORE STRONG DEGREE LIKE RUMI HAD BEEN)

So is Exandroth a static character?

If it were up to my judgement, my answer would be no.

Context behind this question: Charlie in the Just Rolleds had expressed that he didn't want to play Exandroth because he was a "static character". This was as late as Just Rolled episode 12, and I think you can easily gather from my points above why I'd be arguing that this is wrong. As much as I think the Rolleds can give better insight into Apotheosis, they AREN'T Apotheosis. I don't agree with the Council when it comes to Exandroth and I think there's enough textual evidence to back me up. I'm sure to Charlie this made sense to him as the player, but actually watching through Apotheosis as a viewer is a very different experience.

One thing that I think COULD possibly refute this is similar to what Bizly tried to argue with Thanatos' character. That being, was there an actual internal change or did Exandroth just learn to approach things with more "finesse"? Did Exandroth change or were there just other factors at play?

At the very least, regardless of where you stand, I hope that we would all agree by the end of this essay that Exandroth is at the least a dynamic character.

(THIS WAS A QUESTION FROM MOCHITOASTER TOO BUT SOL HAD ALREADY PLANNED TO INCLUDE THIS) (THE QUESTION ITSELF)

I would really like to hear your thoughts on Exandroth being a static character. Like do you think that’s true? Is the only growth it has based in fanon or is there more to it than it’s given credit for?

(FROSTYCOLA WAS ALSO IN THE TAGS WANTING ME TO DISPROVE THIS SO YEAH) (I HOPE WAS OF SOL'S ESSAY COULD CONVEY STUFF)

(CURRENTLY THE END OF THIS POST)

(SORRY) (THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE SOL COULD RAMBLE ON ABOUT BUT THIS IS WHERE IT GETS CUT SHORT) (IF YOU LIKE THIS OR HAVE ANY MORE SPECIFIC QUESTIONS YOU COULD SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH SOL) (WHEN HE GETS AROUND TO IT HE COULD TALK MORE) (THERE WASN'T NEARLY ENOUGH ON EXANDROTH'S ACTUAL DEVELOPMENT GAH) (I'M SORRY SOL WASN'T ABLE TO FINISH IT AT THIS POINT IN TIME)

(MOCHITOASTER'S OTHER POINT THAT I'M SORRY SOL DIDN'T ANSWER)

Also I wanna hear about Exandroth’s relationships with the godslayers. This is kind of branching off the first point but I want to hear what you think about it being in love with Rumi and impersonating them and it’s relationship with Peter and the sort of strange maternal thing happening with thanatos badically I wanna hear everything but those especially I think idk I need to rewatch apotheosis and die all over again

(THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING TO SOL THOUGH) (I DO THINK THEY HAVE A GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF EXANDROTH AS A CHARACTER) (I HAD SOL'S PERMISSION TO POST THIS) (AND I'M GLAD BECAUSE I THINK SOL SHOULD REALLY BE ABLE TO GET THEIR IDEAS OUT THERE) (THEY GET REALLY BOGGED DOWN IN PERFECTIONISM) (BUT WHEN THEY PUT THEIR IDEAS OUT THERE THEY CAN BE DOPE AS HELL)

(ANYWAYS)

(HEY YOU ASKED FOR STUFF HERE YOU GO) @2o5 @mochitoaster @frostycola

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Lesson 64?

-Lesson 47 Anon

@lesson-anon @bisexualdumbass-world if anyone else wants me to @ them with these lemme know

As Usual;

• Links (to screenshots and theories) are in bold!

• Dialogue is HEAVILY paraphrased & the events are HEAVILY summarised/edited so this is in no way a substitute to playing the actual lesson

• Each paragraph represents one chapter of the lesson, I write each paragraph immediately after playing the chapter and so in one paragraph I might theorise what's gonna happen in the next chapter/paragraph

• Solely gonna focus on "Mammon's Route"

LESSON 64 SPOILERS

MC & Simeon haven't seen each other in months, unlike Solomon & MC (Simeon you little shit) , (Simeon you little shit screenshots) , (Solomon pls show more concern!) Simeon & MC talk for a bit and Luke & Simeon are back in the exchange program (Simeon being cagey) , (RIP Simeon's beautiful shoulders). Luke who's just finished submitting their paperwork (Guys seriously!?) And turns out they temporarily shut down their cafe to come here which Luke is actually happy about (character growth!). MC tells them about the whole student council thing (Luke!!? Where's your character growth!?) and Luke reveals he found a card sticking out from under a pot

The card, a fake, makes them play a game of shiritori which makes them unable to talk until they start their sentence from the last letter of the previous person's sentence (DUDE!?) and MC deliberately loses by ending their sentence with "n" to get outta the curse.

Satan arrives at the room because Diavolo's asked the 2 angels & solomon to the council room. Beel arrives to tell MC they've only got 1 hour to get the card (this isn't cannibalism right? Cause none of them are of the same species...). Instead of going to find the card MC follows the others to the council (Satan, my beloved) and just straight up demands that Diavolo gives them the card. They're all shocked until Diavolo laughs because he told MC that they could ask for help from Student Council Members up to three times and he is a Student Council Member

Diavolo is still laughing his ass off while Barbatos tells him to chill. He says he can't and that while he's always impressed by MC there are times that they completely blow his expectations outta the water but though they found a loophole he hadn't intended he can't just tell them where the card is. MC tells him he can't change the rules like that and Satan agrees. Diavolo tells them he'll instead give them a hint. The card isn't inside the building and there was already a hint buried in the first set of rules. Satan, who was told all the rules by Lucifer, is excited to solve it. Beel and MC go to search outside and find a card in the bushes

Luke comes running up to them too, Simeon & Solomon have stayed back to talk about something with Diavolo (SUS). The card asks Beel to say 100 nice things about someone. If MC suggests Belphie, Beel goes over the 100, if MC suggests Luke, Beel starts listing food and gets hungry, if MC suggest Mammon (BEEL!!!??) They're all however still stuck to the ground and unable to leave and Luke has an idea

Beel starts listing nice things about MC (here are a few that we didn't know already) and Satan sends MC a cryptic ass message before telling them that the hint is in the time limit that Diavolo gave them. They only have 10 more minutes. Do you think it's Serun? It was really odd for Mammon to just mention a random demon outta nowhere during the last lesson. And I deliberately mentioned that part in my last summary because of how odd it was. But then I figured they did it as a way to let us know it was currently 11am and that meant MC had 5hrs to find the card. But if the hint is the time limit then does it all lead back to Serun?

FUCK YEAH! I WAS RIGHT! uhh well partially right. It was the mailbox not Serun but still FUCK YEAH! The 3 Ss turn up and Solomon & Simeon figure out the hint. Saying maybe it's not that the challenge ends at 4pm and rather that the card won't be available after 4pm. Because Serun arrives everyday at 11am & 4pm to collect the mail. MC realises it's in the mailbox but Luke points out that they won't be able to make it there in time. Beel transforms and picks up MC saying he can run them there (after Mammon, he & Lucifer are the fastest) but MC says fuck that and teleports both themself and Beel and they better not fuck this up cause last time they didn't end up in the place they wanted to go

They end up near the mailbox with Beel (like the others had been) shocked that MC was able to teleport both of them. MC brushes it off and tells him to smash the box (their 3rd favour) where they find the glowing card. The others all come running along with Diavolo and Lucifer and MC's congratulated. Lucifer then goes on to lecture both MC & Beel about destroying school property. Satan says Lucifer is actually really happy and that you can see it in his face. Later in town, the Lucifer & Diavolo had to stay back at RAD to finish up some work and the others went to purgatory hall to unpack. Satan asks to read the hint in the card and the lesson ends.

So the locked lesson.....god I can't describe the locked lesson. The look of absolute dissapointment and regret on Barbatos' face after seeing what he walked into? How embarrassed Mammon & Satan are? How Mammon may sound like a cat but still has a mostly human (demon) thought process but was still having fun playing catch with Satan? How Satan understood what Mammon was saying not because he liked cats so much that he understood their speech patterns but because he knew his older brother? How Mammon didn't want Satan to leave him alone? Satan taking multiple pictures because Mammon was cute? It was purrrrfect

Oh yikes the hard lesson. The 3 are happy to be back in Purgatory Hall, comparing it to how MC feels about being back at the HoL and calling it their 2nd home. After Simeon & Luke ward away the looming threat of Solomon's cooking, Luke happily volunteers to cook and runs off. Simeon says he's being getting into cooking recently as well. Things get serious as Solomon asks Simeon if he's told Luke. Simeon, who is hestitant while talking, says he hasn't because he doesn't want to burden Luke with his own issues. Luke comes running back saying the kitchen is fully stoked and asking whether they can invite everyone else over too. The adults agree and Luke runs off again wondering whether he should call MC or Beel. Simeon says that though Luke may not say it he's been really excited about coming back and that Simeon doesn't want to see his smile get wiped off after he tells him and YIKES (Simeon and the Celestial Realm theory) , (Luke and the Celestial Realm)

[earthstellar]

Transformers Analysis: Folklore and Folk Magic in the Mines of Kaon

thinking about Miner Megatron again, as always. here we goooo 

So I've been doing some folk magic, as I usually do, and it got me thinking:

Surely, the lower class/caste bots wouldn’t feel welcomed into the more organised Cybertronian temples etc., or might even be outright banned from joining in shared spiritual spaces or rituals. 

So it’s time to teach y’all some working class magic history and how we can apply that to Cybertronian spirituality: 

Working Class History: Casting Spells on the Job (Just Call it Prayer so the Boss Doesn't Find Out)

Here's a quick history of rural Appalachian folk magic, for some context:

1) The Christian Bible has been used for spellcasting all up and down the rural East Coast in the USA from day one of colonisation.

In Pennsylvania you have Hexenmeisters and the Pennsylvania Dutch practices, for a well-documented example.

2) The working class has done spellcasting with the Bible from the very first day shitty bosses started

This is for several reasons, but primarily because Bibles were common and cheap, you didn't have to know how to read in order to follow along with or change the lyrics of popular hymns and prayers to fit your own needs, and it was very easy to sneak what is essentially localised witchcraft under the radar when it just looks like you're reading the Bible to everyone else.

Catholic materials were used a lot for this, because they were often provided for free by any local churches, and a lot of working class people in Appalachia were Italian (Roman Catholic) or Eastern European (Eastern Orthodox Catholic), which meant there was no shortage of all sorts of votive candles and the like to utilise for what we would now identify as spellcasting.

It's important to note that it wasn't called spellcasting outright by anybody; Sometimes it was called "hexing" or "sweet talking", among other terms, but if you called it spellcasting it was heavily frowned upon.

A lot of people were uncomfortable (and are still uncomfortable) with verbalising it or identifying it as such due to stigma from the more mainstream religious communities or their own religious backgrounds, and of course, historically if the boss found out that all the workers hated their jobs so much they were doing fucking witchcraft about it, it would not have ended well for the workers.

So, stealth it is. And that's why there are so many specific folk practices in a lot of historically working class rural regions/communities-- Not just in Appalachia, but similar things happen in similar communities around the world.

What does this have to do with Megatron?

Everything we know about the lower classes on Cybertron, the lower caste members, and the mines/industrial regions in Tarn and Kaon suggest that a similar folklore likely existed within these working communities.

And any local folk practices likely developed for the exact same reasons that this type of folk practice developed in the real world:

Workers are fucking miserable, "mainstream" religion isn't satisfying their spiritual/emotional/social/material needs or concerns, and close-knit people in small communities spending most of their time together naturally start to sort of do their own thing based on their collective situation.

People get desperate, there's nowhere to turn and nothing to do, so spirituality becomes a lifeline in that it builds solidarity and creates a more appropriate sort of support system.

For example: If we aren't allowed time off work to mourn our friend who was killed by heavy machinery, and we aren't allowed any time to process that or deal with it or take care of each other, then we will invent a ritual that allows us to grieve on the job.

This was, and still is, a common thing.

Which brings us to...

St. Barbara and the Mines + Solus Prime

St. Barbara's backstory can be summarised, roughly, as such (based on the version of this story that I know; keep in mind the details can vary):

She was kept isolated from others by her father, who became furious that she refused an arranged marriage. When she fled, he chased her; She ran into two people working in a field, the first who helped her, and the second who gave her path away to her father.

She was captured, and brought to a prominent local figure (the title varies based on different versions of this story), who had her tortured for escaping and disobeying her father.

However, when imprisoned, they tried to kill her again and again, and every morning she was healed. Fire intended to be used to burn her would cool the second it got near her skin, and daggers used to cut her would go dull when brought near her.

Snakes thrown into her room intended to bite her would then die the instant they went to approach her, and ropes intended to be used to bind and choke her would spontaneously fray and snap before they could be tied.

Eventually, she was condemned to beheading, and a special sword was used to cut her head off, which finally killed her.

Her father is the one who beheaded her, and as divine punishment, he was hit by lightning-- A single bolt that lasted so long that his entire body went up into flames, and his ashes disappeared.

Her gravesite became a place of veneration, where people prayed for protection and safety.

She became known as the patron saint of all people with dangerous jobs or jobs where the bosses don't care about the worker's wellbeing or safety, for obvious reasons: Nothing but the hands of her own father could ever harm her.  

(The imagery of St. Barbara being slain only by a special sword is very reminiscent of Solus Prime being slain only by a special sword...)

Workers, especially those with particularly dangerous or shitty jobs but also just anyone working class in general, can interpret this story in several ways which can make it additionally relatable:

Her father = A controlling and aggressive boss who abuses or neglects their workers to death.

The field workers = A pro-union worker (a helper) and an anti-union worker or scab (a betrayer).

So you can see how St. Barbara became immediately adopted as a common worker's saint, and was used in a lot of regional working class folk magic practices (where such folk magic developed within local working communities).

And this is still going strong as a tradition; Crossrail tunnel borers in London consecrated the drilling site in the name of St. Barbara in 2013:

"Several hundred contractors and senior management attended the St Barbara's Day ceremony at the Thames Tunnel (pictured) which will link Plumstead and North Woolwich when completed. The site was so large, that sound engineers put in place an amplification system for the ceremony." - Article here. 

"As a long-standing tradition, one of the first tasks for each new tunnelling projects is to establish a small shrine to Santa Barbara at the tunnel portal or at the underground junction into long tunnel headings. This is often followed with a dedication and an invocation to Santa Barbara for protection of all who work on the project during the construction period." - Article here. 

And here's a related example of a worker's prayer for St. Barbara, from here: 

So this is very much a tradition that is still going strong, and it isn't just Catholic workers who engage with these types of things!

To accommodate more diverse groups and communities of workers, folk practices (including what eventually becomes folk magic) increasingly develop even further away from any one specific religious origin, in order to become more inclusive for the majority of people who can be from all kinds of different spiritual or cultural backgrounds.

Hence, more folk magic is made-- And I believe something like this could absolutely have evolved in a similar way in working communities on Cybertron.

Cybertronian Spirituality: The Primes, The Knights, The Titans

My personal theory/headcanon, and there is not much in canon to support this particularly so please keep that in mind, is that given the average type of manual labour working environment in Tarn and Kaon (dangerous, dark, and deep), it would make sense for the legendary Titans to become worked into some kind of folk practice.

We have this concept of the Titans as these giant and very particular beings, which reminds me somewhat of the Jewish Golem of Prague, in that the Titans are made from raw materials in some kind of mystical or cosmically spiritual manner, then eventually ally themselves to at least one respective Prime who then acts as a director of their actions to achieve victory over cosmic evil(s).

The Titans then go forward and act as guardians of Cybertronian life by combating the origins of these cosmic evil(s) as protectors of their respective polities and regions and eventually colony worlds, called into action by what is essentially a metaphysical and possibly outright spiritual pull of the need of their Prime(s) and later on the needs of the Cybertronian and colony world populations in times of threat or desperation.

These details are peppered throughout canon and vary based on media/franchise, but most recently Titan lore was covered again in IDW’s Optimus Prime series, issue 10, literally titled Origin Myths. 

What is interesting is that while the Golem association could be reasonably made, you could also reasonably say that the Three Original Titans (Metroplex, Chela, and Metrotitan) could be associated just as easily with the Catholic concept of the Holy Trinity. 

Lots of different interpretations could be applied to this stuff!

Class Stratification Within Cybertronian Religious Institutions

No matter how you may interpret it, we know that the Titans have a similar mystical presence in Cybertronian history and cultural lore to that of the Primes and Knights, and it would make sense for those spurned and disparaged by "mainstream" spiritual practices (which were likely just as stratified by class and caste as everything else was on Cybertron during Megatron's youth) to go ahead and create a folk practice based more around Titans.

This is because the Primes would like be associated directly with their oppressive rulers and upper classes, and the Knights, who are said to be the first Cybertronians to come from the Well, thusly represent a very high class onto their own which may have repelled working class bots who were very likely sick of essentially worshipping those venerated in their class stratified society solely due to the conditions of their creation; The Knights were "born with silver spoons", essentially, and it's hard to sell that to people who suffered due to the conditions of their own creation.

Therefore, the Titans are the other most likely Cybertronian figures of historical lore that could reasonably be adapted into a sort of folk religion for the working classes and lower social caste bots.

The imagery is strong, and relatable: In Megatron's case, the manual labourers and miners all have large frames compared to the average Cybertronian, they all toil invisibly and in relative silence, and they are kept away from the end products of their labour and yet without them, Cybertron planet wide would instantly struggle to sustain their raw material demands. 

They are critical workers, yet many of them have no names/designations; It is noted at least once in canon that some Titans are so old or so little known that their designations are not recorded. Yet without these unseen/unknown Titans, it could be the case that cosmic evil could have achieved victory.

While the Titans are critical, they are largely a mystery and unknown in any real detail. They do not normally engage with average Cybertronians, and when they do, it is usually indirectly-- Even though their actions actively impact the lives of nearly everyone.

And though the Primes and Knights are generally never physically present, at least not within living memory, there is real and physical proof of Titans. I feel like that aspect alone may well appeal more to people who are very physically oriented; We also see a stark realist mentality from many of the lower class/caste bots, who are sometimes realistic to the point of nihilism (which is part of why Megatron's writings were so revolutionary, in that they re-introduced hope to people who had previously concluded that there was no realistic possibility of ever rising up).

The Titans being a known, tangible physical reality may well have endeared them as a more interesting folkloric or spiritual focus to this particular cohort of bots.

Just like with St. Barbara in real life, you can see how the Titans may have been interpreted in certain ways by the lower class/caste working bots which may have made them more appealing or more easy to structure into a framework of sorts for their own practices within their local cultures.

A Little Meta: There's a Lot of Various Religious Imagery in Transformers

Like with all media, especially Western media, inevitably some Jesus sneaks in there.

Which usually sucks, because it can be alienating for literally anyone who isn't familiar with Christianity in some way (as some references or parallels are inevitably not going to be as obvious or even detectable at all to people who didn't grow up with all this sometimes very specific shit, resulting in missed thematic elements and so on due to no fault of the viewers but rather the tendency for Western shows to overwhelmingly be written and designed by primarily Western white middle aged cis straight men who tend to throw some Jesus in there when there should not necessarily be any Jesus in there, but I could yell about this all night).

Transformers as a franchise altogether is not immune to this; As with all media, it is made by people, and people are influenced by their social/cultural upbringing, and that includes religious influences.

We could read some of this into the TFP/Aligned Continuity, in regards to the idea of the Thirteen Primes and how that concept is interpreted in TFP.

Transformers Prime: Alpha Trion is Essentially Paul the Apostle

The TFP Primes resemble both the Apostles as well as various Saints, and especially the Fourteen Holy Helpers; These fourteen Saints in particular are elevated above the others in many cases and contexts-- Similar to how the Primes are held up as elevated over other Cybertronians and other figures in Cybertronian history and presumably within certain Cybertronian spiritual practices as well. 

For example, Alpha Trion is strongly reminiscent of the Christian figure Paul the Apostle, who was a writer/scribe known for documenting early Christian concerns of faith in his letters, which became extremely important to theological historians in regards to determining early Christian discourse and attempting to create a timeline of early Christianity.

His letters are included the New Testament in thirteen (!) sections called epistles, which are archived forever in various iterations within the Christian Bible. 

Now, let’s take a look at the symbolism, using the TFP main illustration of Alpha Trion as featured in the Covenant, and a popular Icon image of Paul the Apostle: 

Beard, cloak, book-- Even the pose they are in here is very similar, look at the feet and the way they are both standing. Even the halo of Cybertronian glyphs around Alpha Trion’s head resembles the gold filament of Paul’s halo. 

And much like Alpha Trion's questionable ability to write/re-write history and determine events through some kind of cosmically divine power of foresight, the timeline of Paul's letters will likely never be fully verifiable, and of course, there are so many translations and interpretations of these letters along with the rest of the New Testament that while key points remain fairly consistent, there is still no "true" version or exact outline of events or discussions as recorded by Paul-- Primarily because in at least a few cases, Paul's letters are the only allusion to certain events or conversations.

This is extremely similar to how Alpha Trion states outright in the Covenant that he himself doesn't know if what he writes is actually factual anymore, or if he has changed things so many times to try to construct a more favourable narrative of actions and events that reality itself may have been warped by his Quill, either forwards or backwards in time...

You could also argue that Alpha Trion is presented as a God-like figure in TFP (especially when he appears to Optimus in the form of an echoing voice and shimmering spectral figure in a vision caused by what is essentially the equivalent of a holy relic), and Orion Pax would then be comparable to Jesus pre-Crucifixion, with his reformatting into Optimus Prime post-Matrix heavily resembling Jesus in the eyes of his followers post-Resurrection.

The main cast of Autobots in this comparison would then roughly correspond to the Apostles, of whom there were twelve, with Optimus then making Thirteen... And of course, canonically, Optimus is the resurrection of the Thirteenth Prime. 

You can also see visual similarities in the depiction of Thirteen in the Covenant; It reminds me heavily of the Divine Mercy image of Jesus: 

Both have their right hands raised, their chests emitting a holy/cosmic light. 

I'm just saying, it is totally possible to make connections between fictional lore/spiritual figures and real world ones, and TF is loaded with content that can be re-contextualised in this way. 

(I also want to point out at this time that it is not my intention to offend anyone with any of this analysis; I am writing from the point of view of someone who grew up with folk spirituality, and I am also a Quaker Attender, just so you are aware of my own personal background. I would love to hear any other interpretations of any spiritual imagery in Transformers media, because there’s a ton of possible ways to read into this stuff!) 

In Conclusion: Cast a Hex on Your Boss by Calling Upon the Titans

Just for fun, as someone who has actually done folk magic for my entire life, I've adapted a hex against bad bosses to fit this headcanon. I think this is something that lower class/caste bots would absolutely engage in; It's common in real life as well.

The original I'm basing this off of was actually something I found in one of our old family Bibles before I moved out, and was written in Girard, Pennsylvania sometime between 1920-1930. I believe it was written by a relative of mine who worked either on the farm or on the railways.

Remember that folk magic like this is for and by working class people, so there are no fancy supplies needed; Don't ever buy shit to do magic, you can do it with anything laying around you. No need to spend money.

If you have a shitty boss, please let me know if you hex your boss with this. I always encourage witchcraft, fictional or otherwise.

Here's what you do, if you want to actually try this:

1) Using any old paper that you have lying around, cut it roughly into a square (doesn't need to be perfect.) It doesn't matter what type of paper it is.

2) Grab any pen you like, it can be any type of pen, any type of ink.

3) Draw a square outline on the paper, making a border on the page. This can be big or small as you like, and you can decorate it if you want; Just leave enough space to write inside the square.

4) Fold this paper into a square, any way you'd like as long as it's a square, and take this paper while it's still blank to work in your pocket.

Carry the paper with you for at least one full day at work. If you can, place it in a chest pocket or a pocket where the paper will be fairly close to your body.

It doesn't matter if the paper gets dirty or smudged or torn; In fact, that's even better.

(Some people who do variations of this spell in real life even use the paper to wipe dirt off their hands etc. throughout the day, to really get the energy of a work day settled into the paper. As long as it can still be written on, you can do this if you'd like.)

5) At the end of the work day, take the paper out, and write the following:

Where I have put [X], the word "Lord" was in the original version of this hex which was in my family Bible, but to contextualise it within the fictional headcanon lore here, you can replace this with the word "Titan". (Or you can replace it with anything else that may be appropriate as well, if you would like to actually use this hex!)

"Give us pay for our work, or the poor will plea to the [X] against you, and you will be struck down, cast down.  

If you do not give to those who give to you, you will be cursed coming in, and going out.

Just as the [X] can raise you up and lead you to prosper, so too can the [X] turn away from you, and you will be left to have your walls destroyed, your fortress ruined.

Us servants will rejoice, but you will cry out in anguish, you will be put to shame.

Without the toilers, the land is made desolate, the haunt of jackals.

[X], turn your gaze to us, we labourers of all kinds, see our tears and our sweat.

Lay curses upon those who use their hands to hold us down; Kept below water, our tears lost in the flood.

Raise the waters, and surge the shores of their ill-owned kingdom; Bring forth to their memory that the [X] stewards the land, and that all among the land are equal in spirit.

The [X] will cast fury upon the unrighteous and conniving, cast rage and stand among us mightily, each motion casting winds against the oppressor who weakens like fractured stone under the onslaught of rain.

The [X] will make a storm from our anguish, which brings us higher, raises us from desolation. Our tears, become the rain that withers the false tower looming high above us.

Our hands will raise from our tools and duties, and offer high praise to the [X], who guards the disparaged and lowly, who enacts justice against those who have done wrong against us.

Let us be brought high, and those who revel in our struggle, may they be cast down."

6) You may flip the paper over once the ink is dry, and on the back, put three Xs in the upper corners of the paper. You may also add three more XXXs to the centre of the paper, where the crease in the paper is from folding it.

7) Re-fold the paper, and put it in the bottom of your right shoe. If this is too uncomfortable, carry it in any pocket on your right side.

You can also place it in your wallet for safe keeping, as your wallet contains money and possibly a work ID or something similar, which are all tied to work and working.

And there you have it! Fuck shitty bosses, both fictional ones and real ones. Join a union, do some witchcraft. 

This post was long as always, but I hope it's interesting to someone out there! <3 Thank you to anyone who actually reads through all of this! <3

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

To summarise:

This recap is brought to you by the Cambridge English Dictionary.

The episode starts with Riverdale’s second more gullible resident (i.e. uncle Frank) being in cahoots with Deputy Pickens. “He has a lot of great ideas about how to make Riverdale a better place to live” says s6!uncle Frank aka s2!Archie 2.0 to s6!Archie aka s2!Fred 2.0 in Another Fresh Story™. Archie seems to have learned his lesson, which is -dare I say it?- impressive!

Deputy Pickens proposes a census, which he will carry out on his own, in order to get to speak with every Riverdale resident face-to-face. The dubiously elected and even more dubiously operating town council approves of this dubiously executed procedure.

This kickstarts a series of illegal secret town meetings, in which the town council implements decisions not discussed or approved of by the majority of the town council or the town’s inhabitants.  Is this some kind of social criticism or just Riverdale being Riverdale?

Abigail, previously an innocent victim of the patriarchy, intends to reincarnate Thomasina’s soul in Toni’s body (without her permission) and then go on a killing spree around Riverdale. Feminism. Amirite? (Looking it up in the dictionary as I type).

Uhm … by the way, where IS Thomasina’s soul exactly??

Reggie invites his dad at the casino. “He always wanted to feel like the big shot”, says Reggie fondly about the man who used to do that by beating him up.

In this episode, the townsfolk are against Toni. These are the same townsfolk, one presumes, that voted for her in the first place. 

“There is no war between the Serpents and the Ghoulies”, says Serpent Queen Toni Topaz during town meeting #1.728.914, and, then, in the same breath: “we are very close to declaring a ceasefire”. I don’t know which word is the one that Toni doesn’t understand: war or ceasefire.

“Have you considered disbanding the Serpents?” asks Pickens. To be fair, no one knows why the Serpents were revived in the first place …

Why doesn’t Pickens influence the 40 people in the meeting and be done with it remains unknown.

Kevin, who would have co-parented a Serpent baby, is suddenly deeply concerned about the safety of babies parented by the Serpents. 

Pickens has been going door to door around town trying to recruit people for his cause. After one boxing center/youth shelter (that he forgot about when leaving for the Army) and one Pussycats Concert, Archie is pissed that he hadn’t thought of that before.

Classic Superhero Narrative, says Jughead ‘Weirdo’ Jones. Classic down to the selective use of the villain’s superpower, who apparently doesn’t use it on Toni or Tabitha.

Selective narrative #2: Dark™ Betty is so s5. S6!Betty is all about following the letter of the law, therefore she can’t throw Pickens in jail, as Jughead wants. Now, if Jughead had suggested kidnapping, that would have been a completely different story.

Barchie say that beating Percival up would be but a “temporary solution”. Instead, they decide that appealing to their friends and allies to make sure that Percival doesn’t recruit them, will help them “in the short term”. Let that sink in for a moment, while I go grab the dictionary.

Archie, Betty and Jughead’s first stop is their bestest chum Cheryl, who -last time they met- had told them she had unleashed a curse upon them.

Chabigail isn’t pleased. Her death at the stake is a transgression that hasn’t been settled, says the woman who had cursed her aggressors’ whole lineage, as well as all the male population of 1890s Riverdale.

Half the episode in, Percival decides to finally influence the 40 people that attend the town meetings. A secret meeting is convened to remove Toni from the town council. In a brief moment of consistency, Toni leaves the school to go take care of one of her other jobs.

Except from one vote (and, at least, four absentees: i.e. Archie, Betty, Jughead and Veronica -who, by the way, wasn’t even included in the census), the vote to kick Toni off the council, was unanimous, says Alice Cooper, who, as a reporter, hadn’t bothered to open a dictionary once in her life.

Selective Narrative strikes again. Betty couldn’t see Pickens’ aura during the town council meetings but she can see Chabigail’s when she comes by the school to offer her, Jug-Jug, and Archie arsenic-laced cherry scones. This gives Betty an opportunity to cry “Jug!”, so we will let this one go.

Serpents rebrand #4.627.894.739. Toni proposes to turn the Serpents into a political activist group focusing on community-driven programs. The words Black Panthers are mentioned. I kid you not. I thought the Serpents were truckers who hadn’t rumbled with the Ghoulies for a long time (cough!5x4!cough!) but, apparently, they’ve been dealing in weapons and partaking in street violence. Keller Sr, Keller Jr, Deputy Pickens and the two new deputies-that-didn’t-exist-before-now come by the Topaz-Fogarty residence to arrest Fangs.

Both Jughead and Tabitha have a close call with death, so, naturally, they do not share any scenes about this (or anything else for that matter).

The Italian Mob is still in Riverdale for no other reason but to win Mantle Sr’s car dealership in a game of poker.

Baby Anthony disappears from his crib on the night social worker Janet visits school counselor Toni. I thought Riverdale Social Services were shut down?

Chabigail dressed as a Ghoulie throws a Molotov cocktail on Archie. Go Chabigail!

“It’s hard to mistake Cheryl”, says Archie, “no matter what she’s wearing”. I’d say it’s more because of what she’s wearing, but ok.

It’s not the Italian Mob after all! It’s abuelita’s grandson’s mob buddies, who’ve been just hanging out in Cucina Sacasa.

Deputy Pickens has given Baby Anthony to Twyla Twist to use as bait for the Ultimate Gang Showdown by the Tuna Fish Warehouse by the docks.

Which is now a real location in Riverdale.

The writers are trying to make up for their lack of social awareness by cramming into one episode as much instances of police abusing their authority as they can. On the other hand, this is Riverdale, so Toni having her own plot means minimal scenes with the core four: apparently, we can’t have the white main cast in supporting roles …

Reggie makes a deal with the Devil mobsters to win back the Mantle car dealership. “What operation are you going to run?” asks Reggie. “We don’t think it will be your cup of tea”, reply the mobsters to the owner. of. the. illegal. casino. Words simply don’t make sense anymore …

Jughead goes over to Cheryl’s to read her mind. Cinderbritta and her mop open the door, so he reads her mind instead.

Betty wears the same coat in all her scenes, both outdoors and indoors. It’s the first episode where she shares space with Jughead and she’s got the shivers.

The Ultimate Showdown is a trap. Kevin calls it a turkey shoot.

Percival might have the power of persuasion but Toni has the power of social media. She’s livestreaming the Serpents’ arrest. Tumblr is rising!

Betty, who accused Chabigail of trying to poison her, Archie and Jughead, visits her cousin crying over the supposed demise of Archie. In spite of her own deviousness, Abigail doesn’t suspect a thing. Right.

Stickler-for-the-rules Betty Cooper consults her little F.B.I. book and decides that burning Abigail to the stake is a-okay. With the help of Archie, Jughead, Britta, Nana Rose and Julian-the-doll, they exorcise Abigail’s soul from Cheryl’s body and right into the creepy doll.  

Cambridge English Dictionary: father: a male parent. Kevin Keller, who is neither Baby Anthony’s biological parent nor in any way related to the baby’s parents, and has, thus, no legal claim on him, has filed for custody.

It is revealed that the reason Reggie has been indulging Mantle Sr is that he (Mantle Sr, that is) has only one year to live.

Dr Curdle Jr makes an appearance. The Ghoulies -Twyla excepted- have been found dead but there’s something off about their bodies. It’s not the fact that the gang that has been terrorising Riverdale consists of only 22 individuals but rather the fact that their wounds seem self-inflicted. Deputy Pickens has struck again.

This episode is called The Queen’s Gambit, which is a chess opening, where white offers a pawn to be sacrificed in exchange for better control of the center of the board. As Toni didn’t offer anyone as a sacrifice, the writers’ choice of title remains a mystery.

Toffee is at the Tuna Fish Warehouse by the docks studying for her SAT. It’s time she moves out of this dump and into college.

[petitfanboy]

Comprehensive and in-depth analysis of Asuka and Shinji relationship in 3.0+1.0, implications for the ending and why many youtube Eva analysis videos titles I believe are wrong. (Spoilers ahead)

Preface

It seems it was yesterday when I wrote an extended essay regarding the essential and critical relationship of Asuka and Shinji in Evangelion for the last time. However, seven years have passed. 

My idea here is to write, in general lines, about the relationship of Asuka and Shinji in the last movie and the ending and its implications in a more detailed way. I will use different analyses I have read so far besides mine, and you will find the links to all of them in the text. 

I have tried to maintain an analysis that followed the narrative plot and what I believe is closer to what the director wants to express. However, as Anno himself has said multiple times, his work may inspire different feelings in different people, so I understand where the differences might come from and, in no way, this is intended as a confrontation to other opinions and theories. 

Please, let me start with an introduction.

Introduction

While a lot has changed for me in these years, my view of A/S relationship in the whole Eva universe, including their dynamics, meaning, and canonical aspects have not changed. 

Long story short, A/S represent core aspects of the message Evangelion wants to transmit: The Hedgehog's dilemma, the fear of connecting and rejection while having a strong desire to be loved and understood, and finally, the pursuit of happiness. Asuka and Shinji are opposites on their outside and equals on their inside. A perfect match for exploring those issues.

RoE makes clear their similarities

Asuka and Shinji similarities

Evangelion arrives at a fulfilling conclusion at the end, showing us how it is possible to overcome the abovementioned problems. To depict that, it always involves resolving the different issues Asuka and Shinji have between them, becoming closer, opening to one another and, probably and eventually, staying together.

Evangelion portrays that resolution using scenes showing the exact moment of the change in A/S dynamics, the moment when both pursued real connection starts. What happens after that change is unknown, but the intention is clear: once they begin to make an effort, they have the chance to be happy together.

Before the release of 3.0+1.0, different spoilers and youtube video’s titles ruined my life, as I suppose that happened to some of you. It had such a significant impact on me that it is hard to define with words. Not because I was an angry asushin fanboy as some might classify me, but because, had it been confirmed, it would have meant that the message that Evangelion has been constructing since its first airing was shattered to pieces. I could not accept it.

At that specific moment, the Eva Extra Ex manga came and saved me.

Eva Extra Ex Manga Translated

I cannot highlight enough how important this manga was and still, it is. For me, it represented a call from Anno himself, saying: Do not worry, Evangelion is going to keep being Evangelion. I still recall the endless discussions on the internet when 3.0 came out about the effect of the time-skip, in what lousy state the relationship between Shinji and Asuka was (or if it was even inexistent!) and how Evangelion was going to transmit another message in the end. For me, there were always precise moments in 3.0 that pointed against those conclusions. But with Eva Extra, everything changed. It tied aspects of 2.0 and 3.0 very nicely and allowed us to discover more regarding Asuka's feelings and motivations.

With the first interaction in the manga between Asuka and Mari, we see that Asuka still has (deep) feelings for Shinji.  As the story progresses, we see how Asuka reacts to Mari's teasing and how unconvinced Mari is of all the bravado that she displays. A/S relationship, alongside their communication and hedgehog's dilemma related problems, still existed in the present timeline of the events of 3.0 and 3.0+1.0.

God's in his heaven all right with the world.

Chapter 1: The houses of healing

Instead of speaking of every Shinji/Asuka interaction scene, I will try to make this analysis lighter by talking about how it progresses across the film and focusing only on key scenes.

The film's first part explains how Shinji achieves healing after understanding how people around him are friendly, which is a big difference from EoE. In EoE, it was impossible. Shinji was left hurt and without any option to heal. He ultimately achieved healing through his experiences in instrumentality, leading to the ending and the hope/love message we all know in One More Final: I need you.

This process, this healing, happens in a precise location. That is the reason for the chapter's title. I took the liberty of naming this first chapter as the eighth chapter of Tolkien's book The Return of the King. But, what place is it?

Initially, Shinji is taken to Toji's house. While that place suits Rei, who will understand the basic meaning of life and being human, Shinji makes no progress there. Interestingly, Kensuke sees how Shinji is not making any progress and suggests he should go with him to his house. Why? It is driven by his new parental role, reminiscent of Kaji. He thinks why Shinji is in such a state and understand his needs at that moment. Besides, with or without knowing it, he reunites Shinji and Asuka under the same roof and the same parental figure.

I cannot say that he willingly wanted to reunite Shinji with Asuka, although I am sure he thought it was a direct consequence of carrying Shinji with him, so he was happy with that idea. As we know from 2.0 and the original series, their friends are the ones who notice Asuka and Shinji bond, so it would not be strange that Kensuke wanted to reunite both of them.

With or without Kensuke's will, bringing Shinji to Kensuke's house mirrors Misato's apartment, but with a male figure as the leader (i.e. A Kaji instead of Misato). It is a comeback to better times. Kensuke takes the parental figure for both Shinji and Asuka, as Misato did when Asuka moved in 2.0 for both children. This time, Asuka is the one who is already living there (previously it was Shinji), and Shinji is the one who arrives later.  In 3.0+1.0 Misato cannot fulfil her maternal role anymore, as explained later in the film (and redeemed at the end).

Let me linger on this parallel. In 2.0, when Asuka arrives at Misato's house and introduces Asuka to Shinji, we have the romantic comedy scene of the shower a few minutes later. The scene makes us understand that they feel some attraction to each other, albeit in a very early stage (and introduces PenPen to Asuka). Time forward, this first interaction is repeated in Kensuke's house. When Shinji arrives, he finds Asuka naked after having a shower. This time, no reaction is seen from either part explicitly. Neither Shinji nor Asuka blushed or overreacted, but Asuka clearly states her disappointment, which shows us her desire that Shinji reacted, that Shinji expressed attraction towards her. A significant line that adds up to all the previous evidence about Asuka's persistent feelings for Shinji. What about Shinji? There is a minor detail. When he sees Asuka naked, he stares at her with a glare that is just a mix of emotions. Although it is difficult to tell what he is thinking, Asuka is directly opposite him, and he can see both the DSS choker and her body. However, he only notices the choker when she wraps herself with a towel. Draw your conclusions.

From that point onwards, we get a few scenes representing the problem Asuka and Shinji have communicating and how alike they are. When Shinji throws up for the first time, Asuka explains to Kensuke why Shinji behaves like that and shuts himself off. However, she is doing the same, playing with her console. Asuka's video game is Shinji's SDAT.  Asuka hates the behaviour of Shinji because she sees her flaws in him.

Despite all the façade, she tries to communicate and help Shinji repeatedly in the coming scenes, checking on him on several occasions. Whenever she does that, the movie clearly shows us that she has abandoned her Shinji-like behaviour, showing us the console turned off.

Asuka and her videogame

The climax of their conflict is the force-feeding scene. But before analysing that scene, let me tell you a few more details.

I believe that the mirroring of Misato's apartment is portrayed through other details. For example, the name KenKen might have been chosen in honour of the missing companion from Misato's apartment: PenPen.

Furthermore, while some people might find odd the tendency of Asuka to be naked, this is driven by her disgust with her own body, which is shown in the Eva Extra manga. Finally, to enforce the idea that the relationship between Kensuke and Asuka is different from the one that she and Shinji have, it is essential to notice how Kensuke calls them. He calls them by their surnames, Shikiname and Ikari, placing distance between them.

Let's return to the force-feeding scene. In that scene, Asuka wants to help him, which is why she feeds him, and at the same time, she explains her frustration regarding the lack of reaction and understanding on his part. The conflict between them is portrayed similarly to the Eva 03 incident in 2.0

Visual comparison 1

Visual comparison 2

She is trying to understand him, and she tells him rather precisely why she thinks he is in such a state. She only wants him to reciprocate that understanding, and she wants him to think and explain why she punched him after seeing each other after 14 years. I must highlight the punch's importance. It summarises their communication problems, their conflict. Eva clarifies it in 3.0 using the same parallelisms as other communication problems, like Gendo and Shinji.

However, we know how she feels. The Eva extra manga gives us that insight. She has feelings for Shinji but hates his inaction due to his internal struggles. The hedgehog's spikes have been replaced by a punch. If they can talk about the punch, they will start communicating.

From an external view, Shinji reacts to being force-fed in a way that probably is not what Asuka wanted. Shinji leaves the house, followed secretly by Asuka, in another display of how Asuka feels internally.  It is another parallelism with Misato's apartment, again with a reversal of roles between Shinji and Asuka.

Parallelism

However, we will learn in future events that Shinji started to think about what Asuka told him at that moment, so he listened to her.From this point onwards, Shinji will deal with his thoughts and come to an understanding with himself. It is not achieved alone, but with the help of Rei and, although not directly, Asuka. She is the one who directs Rei to the place where Shinji is and continues checking on him to see that everything is going fine. She is there.

Asuka cares

When Shinji grows up and maturates, we have the first bidirectional communication attempt between Asuka and Shinji. While she asks Shinji if he feels better, he responds with only sounds. Yet, this is the first time they have tried to talk about their respective problems and emotions calmly. We will see this pattern repeat itself several times in the movie: Shinji grows a bit, and then Asuka opens herself another bit. It is very interesting to see Asuka's glare. Asuka is drawn with that glare whenever she is looking at Shinji in a positive/concerning him way. We will return to that later. Besides, she speaks to him without looking at her console.

All this healing process ends in a sentence that is easily overlooked. The night Kensuke is discussing with Asuka the plans to return to the Wunder, Shinji comes home and says, "I am home". It is the reflection of Shinji's complete healing. Thanks to his growth, he has found a new place where he belongs once more. It let us understand why he will consider that this place is important for Asuka too. Both have suffered the same parental love deprivation, lacking a place where they truly belong. Finding a place that they can call home is part of their way to happiness and usually happens before both connect.

The film also let us see how Shinji heals, comparing it with the healing of one of the village's dogs

Now, Shinji is ready to go with Asuka to the Wunder and start a transformative journey for himself and those around him. But first, let me post a few more details, some of which I had not noticed until doing some research on the internet:

Visual comparisons that highlight the similar role of Kensuke as Kaji (Parental role)

2. Asuka's scarf to hide her DSS choker.

3. The possible futon share between Asuka and Shinji, showing how she cares about him.

Chapter 2: A trip in the Wunder

The most relevant scene for their relationship in the Wunder is Asuka's confession. However, there are a couple of interesting interactions before that. The first one is the display of Asuka's jealousy of Sakura when she sees her interaction with Shinji, saying, "Are you his wife?"

The second one happens when Asuka meets Mari. While loaded with fanservice, this interaction is not trivial. Mari's teasing is an essential element in the Rebuild series, even more knowing how important the character of Mari will become at the end. She seems to be aware of Asuka's real feelings, and we know from the Eva extra manga that she tries to push Shinji and Asuka together, which I will come back to later. Asuka replies to Mari's teasing that Shinji "does not need a lover, he needs a mother". This sentence is a double edge sword. First, it shows Asuka's interest in Shinji as a romantic partner, given her deception, and actually, Asuka is saying this sentence while she is playing the videogame, so probably she is hiding her feelings, shutting herself oof the world as Shinji used to do. Second, it shows the problems they face: Communication and maturity. Maturity, because Asuka feels that Shinji has not changed as she has had, and communication, because as we will soon know, Asuka also wants that figure in her life. However, it is not true that Shinji has not grown up. It is just that they have not tried to communicate again, and thus, she does not know about Shinji's recent developments

Everything will change when Asuka faces the reality of possible death. Before the "final battle", she decides to reach out for Shinji. After Mari introduces herself to Shinji in an awkward way that will be important in the ending, Asuka repeats her question. In reality, she asks if he has thought about her, how she feels and everything she has gone through. To Asuka's surprise, Shinji answers the question, blaming his inaction. Taking this as a partial sign of maturity and growth, Asuka starts opening herself, although not wholly, a sign that Shinji's answer might not have been entirely correct. Besides, her body language is similar to the previous lift scenes in Evangelion, where we know she hid her real emotions.

She will equal what to tell Shinji to Shinji's growth. Therefore, she explains to him how she liked him 14 years ago, but not how she feels now. Furthermore, she leaves before Shinji can reply to her statement, leaving Shinji staring back at her through the glass. So, it is Mari again who makes us understand that this has been a sign of communication that goes in the right direction. She congratulates Shinji and stimulates him to continue like this. Again, Mari is trying to solve Asuka and Shinji's problems. Mari says goodbye in Chinese to Shinji (perhaps, a way to tell us that the spell of goodbye works, as they meet again later) and goes to do the same with Asuka, asking her if she feels better. Mari is trying to make Asuka see that opening herself to Shinji will bring happiness to her too.

Nevertheless, we must not forget that the short confession happened because Asuka thought this might have been the end. In a sense, it almost was.

Chapter 3: I need you

This chapter starts after Shinji and Gendo have resolved their issues. As I explained before, the need of resolving their parental matters will be critical to both Shinji and Asuka. The same happened in EoE. Asuka gets to know her mother in her battle against the mass-produced Eva, and Shinji learns about his father's plans and mother during instrumentality. After those experiences and their other interactions through instrumentality, they arrive at the I need you scene where they open to each other.

Gendo gets off the train, and the control of instrumentality is handed over to Kaworu. While Gendo was willing to sacrifice everything for his sake, the growth of Shinji reaches its maximum at this point. Shinji decides to take the reversal role of his father. Even if he is heartbroken or it is a hard and not a pleasant experience, he wants to help Asuka and those who were nice to him. This is the transformative journey that Shinji accomplishes in RoE that marks a completely different path from NGE+EoE.

I worded the sentence highlighting Asuka because those are the literal words of Shinji, naming Asuka as an individual and using the Japanese word "minna" for the rest, which could be the rest of his friends or even the rest of humanity. Shinji has learnt that he must give without seeking anything in return. He must stop thinking about himself only. He is going to help their friends without any positive repercussions on himself. As he later will explain, he plans to rewrite the world with the new spear given by Misato to get rid of the Evas and what they represent, stopping the cycle of suffering that comes with them, and let their friends live a happy life.

Symbolism of the spear

Interestingly, he does not explain this to Asuka and only mentions it to Rei, with some hesitation, which is what prompts him to tell her that Mari would come for him eventually. That behaviour is because for getting rid of the Eva and rewriting the world, he needs to impale himself with the spear inside Eva 01. While we do not know for sure the effects on Shinji, the way it is portrayed resembles a willing sacrifice, a person opening himself to that terrible outcome for a better benefit for their friends. Besides, we must not forget that the sync rate of Shinji with his Eva was infinite at that time, so probably the expected outcome would be the death of the pilot and he knew about that.

This situation is what gives us an essential context for understanding Shinji's actions. As Asuka earlier, he also thought that he might not return. But let’s see what happens with Asuka and Shinji.

The first to be saved is Asuka. As some sort of guardian for Asuka (and Shinji, and even Asuka/Shinji relationship), Mari reminds Shinji before he leaves her entry plug in the anti-universe that he has to find her. And he does.

There are many iconic and meaningful landscapes in Evangelion. Still, none of them has the symbolism, meaning, emotional associations and beauty as the beach where Shinji and Asuka laid at the EoE has. Although it is not the same beach and there are different details, the scene's meaning is clear. It was the scenario of One More Final: I need you. Thus, the location evokes that meaning, where Shinji and Asuka connected and expressed their emotions and feelings in EoE. To increase and highlight that intention, the first shot we have of the landscape is a full white moon, a remnant from the N3I. The moon has always been a poetic figure for love, and it brightens the sand creating the white beach. It is the perfect scenario to share an intimate moment.

Then, a saved, Eva curse-free Asuka awakes. The first sentence references the fact that the curse of Eva is lifted, and she can sleep. As some people detail, the plugsuit is a combination of different ones. This phenomenon will repeatedly happen in the anti-universe. Long story short, as I do not want to enter the terrain of the time loops and different universes, I believe that the idea behind that symbolism is that Evangelion is a multiverse. The anti-universe might somehow connect them, and we can see them. However, the characters remain the same from the universe where they come from. Only those annotated in the book of life remember those other universes or RoE time-loops (which seem to affect only the RoE universe and seem not to be confirmed in the other universes), and probably, as Shinji is in charge of the flow of events, the bleeding in his memories is what drives those changes.

The fact that Asuka wears a plugsuit that is a combination of previous ones, does not mean that she is Soryu or several Asukas at the same time. She is Shikinami, and it is the first time that she is on that beach. Her background and memories are from the RoE timeline, as she does not express, as Shinji will do later, any perception of that phenomenon. The same goes for their location. While they are on a similar beach, it is not the same where Soryu and Shinji found themselves in EoE. It is probably the bleeding of details between universes that wraps the metanarrative message that gives importance to the scenery (that beach is where they connected and accepted each other both in EoE and in this movie, and the place will always symbolise that)

Even those aware of other timelines (Kaworu and Shinji at that point) can only remember that they met before or have a déjà vu feeling. They do not have a complete insight into what happened. I think that this bleeding of details gives an important message: All the universes of Evangelion exist. Soryu and Shinji's story from NGE and EOE has happened, albeit in another universe, part of a larger multiverse. In a sense, it is saying that NGE+EoE is as canon as RoE, something essential to maintain coherency. The difference is that they happen in different physical planes of space and time.

Let's return to the fact that a grown Asuka is on the beach. The camera plays, repeating the same shots as in EoE, linking both scenes thematically again. Moreover, the visual links expands to other couples in Eva.

Here, Shinji sits next to Asuka, with his arms around his legs and a completely different gaze, making clear Shinji is happy to see her. The events follow this path:

Asuka sees Shinji next to her and calls him "Baka Shinji" in a not mean way. A way that shows us that despite calling him "Baka Shinji" time and time again, that did not mean that she truly hated him.

Shinji verbalises his happiness to see her again and says thanks to her for letting him know her feelings previously.

Shinji reciprocates the same feelings, using the past tense. Why? Well, at least this time is more straightforward than explaining why he choked her.  Shinji has several reasons for this: First, it directly answers what Asuka told him earlier. And second, he wants to save and return her to the Eva free world, and thus, knowing that he might not return, hides his current feelings.

Asuka is surprised that her feelings are reciprocated. She blushes and turns to her left, hiding her real feelings at that moment to Shinji. In the next shot, we see a happy, blushed Asuka smiling.

The reaction of Asuka and all the previous evidence from the movie and the manga make it evident that she still has feelings for him. With his body language, Shinji is also transmitting to us that he is hiding his true feelings. Besides, a past tense confession for Shinji makes no sense at all. Shinji has been sleeping those 14 years. For him, those moments where "he liked" Asuka are only a few weeks or months ago from this moment on the beach.  We will get the last evidence that Shinji still has feelings for Asuka, thanks to Kaworu. He, who is aware of all the timelines and universes, asks Shinji if he will feel lonely letting Asuka go. Shinji, with the same body language and a sad face, says no. We must link Shinji's behaviour to the fact I explained earlier. Shinji wanted to sacrifice himself for the happiness of Asuka and everybody.

This links with another idea. The scene is fast-paced. Once Shinji confesses his feelings, he says goodbye to Asuka and the Kensuke sentence. While this might be a reminiscence of Asuka's behaviour in the Wunder, allowing him to avoid any reply, that would have made things more difficult. However, his words are carefully chosen. We know from Rei's experiences in the village that "goodbye, is a spell of magic to see each other again. Despite his plans, Shinji's wish is to see her again

The meaning of goodbye

Then we have the Kensuke sentence. I wanted to talk about this in a simple way. Asuka needed the same parental role as Shinji, and through her experiences in instrumentality, she finds that she has that part of herself fulfilled by Kensuke. However, things get complicated if we start to notice some details. The fact that Kensuke calls Asuka "Asuka" instead of Shikinami and that the doll with Kensuke inside of it appears in the Rei scene has raised concerns that the Kensuke who appears in Asuka's instrumentality scenes is in fact Shinji, helping Asuka to find her place in a future world without him. In more detail:

All Asuka's scenes in instrumentality revolve around Shinji, nothing from Kensuke. It seems that Shinji wants to revert that and makes her conscious that she can find a place to belong and the parental role she needs, especially taking into consideration that he was about to die.

Instrumentality scenes comparison

She verbalises that she has no place to belong yet (despite living with Kensuke for some time), so Shinji wants to clarify that point for her.

It answers why Kensuke calls her Asuka and not Shikinami and why the doll appears again in Rei's scenes on the stage. Furthermore, it connects Asuka's memories with the beach scene, as it is after Kensuke says, "Asuka is Asuka" that she wakes up next to Shinji.

The original source of the theory for me was this video

In the end, from Asuka's instrumentality to the end of the beach scene, Shinji wants her to understand that she has a place to belong alongside the parental figure that she needs and that she is also loved by him, although he is going to let her go for her benefit. A true act of selflessness given his feelings. That is heart-warming and an actual act of love on his part.

Then, something happens amid the fast-paced scenes. The camera shows Asuka with an open mouth, sleeping(?) and Mari next to her. Wait. When did Mari come in? Why? I am not sure of the answers to these questions. It shows that Mari is more than we thought and has more knowledge about the anti-universe and what is happening. We do not know if this scene happens just after Shinji’s words or something has happened in the middle, as Asuka's expression seems not to match the last we see from her. Is there a deleted scene in the middle? Mari says her goodbye to Asuka. Mari has been a bridge between Shinji and Asuka and a close friend to her. In some sense, and continuing the parallelisms between Shinji and Asuka, she has been her Kaworu

Interestingly, Mari only appears to say bye to Asuka and not Rei or Kaworu. At the same time, Shinji only says sayonara to Asuka, the only character that does not have a handshake and a shutter closed. While there is no definitive answer to this fact, I believe it is crucial regarding the ending, as it will establish a continuity between the goodbyes and future gatherings, all directed by Mari, and that is why she appears probably (and she might be the one ejecting Asuka’s entry plug)

After Mari's take care, Asuka wakes up in the entry plug and is ejected by Unit 13. It is important to note that Asuka leaves without any kind of voluntary movement. She awakes in different locations and is the Eva 13 who ejects her. We do not know Asuka’s opinion about this at any time, or how she feels about being saved leaving Shinji behind.

Chapter 4: The sacrifice is stopped

After Kaworu and Rei's scenes, which I am not going to talk about, Shinji decides to carry out the Neon Genesis. We get to the moment where he is ready to sacrifice himself, in some sort of redemption of humanity's sins for creating the Evas and all the suffering that accompanied them. But then, Yui appears.

She stops the spear, protecting Shinji, and takes him out of the Eva 01. Yui’s wish is that he can live in that Neon Genesis world where the Evangelions do not exist, where people, and Shinji, can be happy. This moment changes everything. The plot twist will allow Shinji and Evangelion to have a happy and hopeful ending, thanks to Yui's (+/- Mari) plan.

The sacrifice of Shinji's parents for the sake of their child redeems them from the emotional deprivation Shinji has endured all his life. Shinji, mimicking the last instrumentality scene in EoE, returns to the anti-universe, now alone.

Chapter 5: Mari to the rescue

Shinji waits patiently on a blue water beach. Slowly, he starts to fade away in the anti-universe, as there are no others to relate with. This concept was explored both in EoE and at the end of the TV series. Then, Mari comes with her Evangelion to rescue him and take him back to the real world, now the Eva-free world, as promised to Misato. This is very important, as it highlights that Shinji is not going to a parallel universe. He is returning to the same world where his friends are (Asuka for sure, Kaworu will meet him again too, and Rei, honestly, it is not so obvious where she decides to go in her scenes, but probably too)

Mari's last Evangelion is important too. Contrary to Kaworu and Rei, I believe it is how Mari and Shinji returned to the ordinary world (probably with its entry plug, like Asuka). We might never know that. Then, the next scene is the opposite scene from Asuka in the entry plug, but with Shinji. Now we see an adult Shinji in a train station.

There are different questions to answer to understand what is happening in the ending. However, I think that the film's conclusion is the same regardless of the answer to those questions.The questions are:

Is the train scene set in the AU or in the real world?

Are Mari and Shinji the people we see coming out from the station?

Did Asuka arrive at Kensuke’s house or is she present there if that is the real world?

I tried to sum up the different theories in simple pictures.

 My personal opinion just after watching the movie was that the first scenario was the most likely. However, after seeing different analyses, I am not 100% convinced and I cannot give my support to other theoriesyet. 

The sources for the other theories are these

And the fact that the pilots might be illusions come from here 

As you can see, regardless of the answer to the questions from above, they always end up meeting again. While this is not explicitly shown in the movie, I strongly believe it is the reason why Mari appears at the end scene. Mari is the beacon light that will guide him in this new world, and there is a lot of visual comparisons that prove this fact, comparing Mari to Misato, and knowing the role of Mari in Gendo and Yui’s life. Furthermore, a lot of people consider that the fact that Asuka is alone in the platform is a sign that she is there to be reunited with Shinji, as she has no partner and seems to be playing with something like her old videogame. All of this is enough evidence to stop thinking about this ending as “Shinji choosing Mari to live a happier life” or “to let go the past”.

Comparison

The role of Mari in Yui/Gendo life. A hint in her possible role with Asuka/Shinji

Mari and Shinji, Mari and Gendo, the same fate.

I am sure that Mari will reunite Asuka and Shinji. She has been a bridge between them since 3.0, and the Eva Extra manga gives more insight into that respect. Besides, she did the same with Yui and Gendo, and there are a lot of comparisons between Yui/Gendo and Asuka/Shinji in a visual way throughout the series.You will find Asuka glancing at Shinji with the same face and eyes expression as Yui did. 

We have talked about this before. 

While it would be interesting to know exactly how Shinji arrives there, the narrative conclusion that they will meet again, independently of what has happened to the world, will not change. This resonates with the title of the movie "thrice upon a time", as evidenced here. 

There have been multiple Evangelion universes, both with and without Evas (EoE ends with a world without Evas, as the manga does) and in all of them, all of them, Asuka and Shinji meet again. And this is really important, as now they can communicate and have the chance of growing together and be happy.

Conclusion

Asuka and Shinji are two sides of the same coin, with different defence strategies in the context of the hedgehog's dilemma. Despite their mutual attraction, they are incapable of communicating and reaching each other. In EoE, it took almost the end of the world and humanity to understand that it is thanks to not living with the fear of pain and rejection that we can understand and accept others, ultimately overcoming the hedgehog's dilemma. This is expressed by the caress of Asuka to Shinji in EoE. This loving gesture shows us that the characters start understanding each other and have the chance to be happy together. EoE ending is a message of love and hope.

A/S relationship will represent this conflict wherever they are portrayed, in a cycle of desire/attraction, which leads to conflict and a resolution with understanding and love once they learn to accept each other and start communicating. In EoE is quite visual and displays both of them together at the very end. The manga is less explicit and more hinted at, but the scene at the train depicts how they connect in that new world where they will understand each other.

Thrice upon a time is not an exception to this rule. The last scene of EoE and the manga that involves Asuka and Shinji is the moment they connect, communicate, and change the way they treat each other. In 3.0+1.0 their final scene together is the beach scene, where they confess their mutual feelings in what is a never seen before sincerity and openness between them. Then, a world without Eva is created (in EoE this is exemplified by the crucified Eva and in the manga is more similar to the movie) and we know that Mari will guide Shinji to a safe return to that Eva free world and a gathering with Asuka and his friends. Despite not appearing on screen, all the narrative of the movie, and the whole of Evangelion, makes us understand that they will understand each other more and more and will be more honest towards their feelings, giving them the chance of being happy. As a consequence of that, the leitmotif of Evangelion is repeated once more.

The message of 3.0+1.0 is not about letting go of the past because you have grown up or let it go to move forward. The message is that it is thanks to going through those good and bad experiences that life gifts us, accepting the chance of suffering pain, that we can mature and learn. This learning will make us understand ourselves and those who surround us more, making us love ourselves and others, having, ultimately, the chance of being happy, loved and finding a place to belong to.

And it is in the middle of this struggle, that the love story of Asuka and Shinji shines, reminding us that humans can connect and be happy. 

If they can overcome their problems, so will us.

Everybody finds love in the end.

One More Conclusion: Where is Anno's wife?

What a ride! I think I have written about almost all of Shinji and Asuka's interactions, perhaps leaving just a few ones at the beginning of the movie, and without the mention of Anno as Shinji or his wife as Mari in all the essay! While extremely popular, the theory that Mari represents his wife has many flaws and I still do not understand where it is based. From the character being designed without the supervision of Hideaki Anno to the direct denial from his wife, including that the theory does not match the narrative plot. While self-insertions and story developments related to personal experiences are not rare in storytelling, we cannot explain everything in Evangelion by metanalysis. While Anno's struggles with depression have shaped NGE+EoE, the development and growth of the characters in their own arcs are what matter when analysing them. Shinji might be inspired by his awful experience at that time, but as we said earlier, Asuke is shaped like Shinji, albeit with different behaviour. Therefore, we should accept that both of them are depictions of Anno and not only the masculine figure.

In the end, it is Shinji who rejects instrumentality, returns to the real world and is caressed by Asuka in EoE. The characters do that, not Anno. The same happens in this last scene. While the location of the train station and city is totally related to the director, what is going to happen to the characters in the context of the plot is an important thing to consider when analysing them.

From NGE+EoE to this last movie Shinji grows and understands the path to be happy always.  This is not exclusive of the RoE saga because Anno has overcome his problems. Therefore, conclusions such as "now Anno is happier, so he wants Shinji to be happy" are not supported. What changed in RoE is that the growth of Shinji happens prior to the last impact and instrumentality, instead of growing after those experiences. This allows the portrayal of a lighter version of Shinji in those dramatic moments, resembling more a traditional hero who saves his friends, instead of letting them down and then coming to an understanding all together (because everyone shares a slice of the guilt cake) in instrumentality.

I believe that it would be more fruitful if we took into consideration his wife's work in the way that this tweet states, rather than engage ourselves in discussions about meta self-insertions.

I hope my words have helped those who felt like me after the release of the movie.

Thank you very much for all your time reading this.

[teawaffles]

yuumori ch64

Now on Cubari and Mangadex

and there we have it! decided to just get this out first before I hunker down for revision :3 and thank you so much for all the kind comments! 🥰 please know I really really appreciate all of them even though I can’t always reply (^^;

🍾 a quick disclaimer: sherlock mentions a dinner appointment in this chapter — but on the off-chance that it turns out to be a lunch (the original text did not specify which meal it is, though it’s more likely a dinner), I’ll make the edits accordingly :x

🐈 about mangadex: all my chapters are now on mangadex too! this is because mangadex recently re-enabled chapter edits and deletion, so I feel more confident putting the chapters there now.

I’ll update both mangadex and cubari in parallel, so you can pick which reader you like (｀・ω・´)

> more under the cut regarding the plan henceforth:

🎄 ch65

as mentioned a while ago, I’ll only be able to start working on this during winter break (end-Dec), due to exams. I’ll post an update when there is significant progress made.

🏃🏻‍♀️ the general plan for 2022

I’ve summarised this in the pinned intro post, but I thought I should draw attention to it here too, just in case:

scanlations will be best-effort only (i.e. not a priority for me) during term time

but I intend to catch up with the chapters when my schedule becomes more free (likely after july)

of course, it would be best if someone else is able to make regular + good-quality scanlations during this time though — please feel free to take over if you are able!

Aside: This is also why I’ve labelled my scanlations on cubari as “interim”, since I can’t claim to be a regular scanlator right now.

🍵 scanlation update posts

although this is technically a light novel blog, I’ll keep using teawaffles to post chapter updates since everyone’s already here. but if a new light novel comes out someday, then the scanlation updates will be moved to a separate blog for tidiness (｡･ω･｡)

PS: If you got the “hounding” reference in the chapter, feel free to leave a comment :3 (hint: one of the 4 canon sherlock novels)

[psychicdreamfriendoperator]

Going off from the free dating headcanon… how about some for Miguel and Agata? >.<

I’m so happy to see another blog writing for the shishigumi, they’re finally getting the character development they deserved

I'm happy to write for the lovable bastards, though it does seem like there's only 1 or 2 other blogs that write for all of the Shishigumi.

Speaking of blogs, @couldyouspeakmyname is a very nice one ü, please check them out if you haven't already!

I had to keep the word limit in mind (especially since there's 2 characters involved here), so, if this ask wasn't what you wanted, feel free to let me know and I can try again!

— Psychic

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General Dating Headcanons

Agata

Agata has had his fair share of partners. Society makes lions out to be good leaders, and so, many animals begin relationships with them. Agata's a darker-coloured lion, so this effect was multipled for him.

While he did have a “bad boy” phase, Agata is truly a nice person at heart.

That would have been more than enough for others to stay in a relationship with him, had he been born almost any other animal.

He was cheated on a lot by love interests who wanted to make a lion jealous, and by those who expected something . . . more passionate from a relationship with a lion.

As a result, Agata's very clingy, and mayhaps a bit bitter.

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Miguel

Miguel's relationships tend to last 6 months to 1 year, but never much longer than that. He doesn't have much of an interest in relationships, but he's open to love if it finds him first.

Previous lovers had a tendency to sexualise him— this is something that makes Miguel very uncomfortable.

He doesn't mind dirty jokes, etc, but more intimate actions have been partially ruined for him.

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Meeting Them

Agata

It's quite possible that you ran into him at a local community college.

I can imagine Agata taking a course there— perhaps it's related to technology?

It's also quite possible that the both of you shared the same, mandatory class.

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“oh shit oh shit oh shit . . .”

A noise that was more whisper than spoken word. You don't see it, but you can almost taste the anxiety that flows over from your colleague.

Your eyes moved involuntarily over to your left, where a dark-maned lion crawled on his hands and knees, as if searching for something.

You rest your head on your hand. “Looking for something?”

A muffled, “Dropped my pen . . .”

You fished about in your pencil case, pulling out one of your spares. It wasn't nearly as favoured as your gel pens, and, it also wasn't one you would miss if someone were to steal it.

“You can borrow this one . . . just give it back.”

You had never seen someone look so grateful; the expression was genuine, which filled your body with a cosy warmth.

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Miguel

Perhaps you met him at the gym.

Although Miguel had more than enough exercise equipment at the Mansion, he preferred to workout away from the Black Market.

It gave him the chance to organise his thoughts.

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“STAY FIT”— a simple, two word long mantra and a reminder of the New Year’s resolution you wanted to keep.

In order to achieve that goal, you signed yourself up for a gym— it was only a few blocks away on foot. Since it was so close, you were always the first one there . . .

Or rather, you were always the first one there, until recently.

“You must really love working out,” You struck up pleasant conversation whenever the both of you took your breaks. There wasn't anything else to do, really.

The feline, whose mane was tied up neatly behind him, took a swig of his bottled water. “I suppose you could say that.”

It was a curt response, yes, but it was also the start of a wonderful acquaintanceship.

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Growing Closer

Agata

over the course of several weeks, Agata racked up a fine collection of pens— all of them yours, of course.

Somehow, you didn't believe that you would get them back.

It didn't matter much though— you had more than enough to spare.

The pair of you studied together often; either on-campus or back at your place.

His notes were very neat, you noticed.

He divided his pages into three sections; one for definitions, one for summarisations of the text and one for miscellaneous notes.

When you expressed your interest, Agata is more than happy to explain the Cornell Method to you.

You were just pleased that all the pens you lent him hadn't gone to waste.

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Miguel

you actually had to put some effort in before Miguel felt comfortable enough instigating a conversation with you.

In the beginning, you talked to yourself, more or less.

Miguel gave short, curt answers in reply.

You both took note of what subjects the other person was interested in, and then went from there.

Polite conversation made to pass the time became deep and insightful discussions.

Miguel kept a neutral expression when speaking to you, but after a while, his lips curved into a pleasant smile more and more often.

You liked his smile.

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Going Steady

Agata

You didn't notice the way Agata’s hands shook until much later, when you were both reminiscing on how he had asked you out the first time.

You did notice that the lion had a few bags’ worth of stationery with him, though.

“Finally decided to return those pens you borrowed?” You were teasing of course — your friendship with him was such that you didn't care about those trivial things anymore.

.

.

“Let’s go see a movie tonight!”

You blinked once. Twice.

.

Then, you cleared your throat. “Ah . . . sure—” You turned around, intending to fetch a jacket. “I’ll just get a coat and—”

“Y-you can borrow mine!”

Thought it was several sizes too large, Agata's jacket was indeed very comfortable.

.

Miguel

It just sort of happened.

One thing led to another, really, and soon, the both of you were bouncing ideas back and forth.

.

.

“You're weird,” You snorted, playful as always. With the gentle push of a button, the treadmill belt beneath you began to move.

You thought you saw Miguel smile. He slung his towel over one of the machine's handle bars. “Maybe so, but, aren't you going to answer? It's not hard, right?”

“Well . . .” You clicked your tongue, actually thinking. “I've always wanted to go cycling at the park with someone else.”

“Are you free Thursday?”

You eyed the lion suspiciously, but nodded, “Mhm . . .”

But then, it clicked, “Oh . . .”

It really clicked, and you broke out into a wide grin, nodding up and down quickly.

.

.

.

Dating

Agata

he was very nervous at first, and very, very clingy.

He felt as if he had to keep impressing you, and giving you gifts just to keep you around.

You didn't think much of it at first, but you drew a line when he arranged for a limosuine to drop you off at your agreed rendezvous point.

Where did he even get the money for a limo, anyways?

You called the date off, in favour of talking it out with him.

Though a part of you wanted to let Agata have it, the more sensible part just wanted to know why.

As the both of you stood in the parking lot of the movie theater, you noticed that several pairs of eyes were on you.

You grabbed him by the hand and, after a short walk, came to a more secluded area.

You sighed, and told Agata exactly how you felt.

In turn, he explained his side of the issue.

It wasn't planned for, but you both enjoyed the impromptu heart-to-heart under the stars nonetheless.

It was enjoyed so much so, that neither of you saw the black car which drove away, its scar-faced driver satisfied that Agata could handle things from there.

.

.

Miguel

dating Miguel feels as if you're hanging out with a dear friend — which you were, in a way.

Your dates are spent cycling around the district, dominating patronising the local basketball court and just enjoying the other’s company.

And then, you slept together.

It had been late, so, you told him that he could crash at your place until daylight.

Despite your insistence that he take the bed while you slept on the sofa, Miguel was adamant that it be the other way around.

You had shrugged your shoulders, and decided not to fight him on it further.

Come morning, you had successfully moved him into your bed— he looked mad uncomfortable on the couch, anyways.

To your surprise, Miguel awoke with a start, a hand over his chest and eyes wide.

He demanded to know whether or not the both of you had done anything the previous night.

You didn't know about his . . . fear at the time, but you knew that you had royally fucked up.

You promised not to do that sort of thing again, and the rest of the morning is spent in the other's arms.

[bigbadmercer]

Cross Our Hearts 2021

Okay, so I thought I’d have a go at writing. I’ve debated it for a while and this seemed like a good opportunity. Any feedback is welcome!

Day 1 - Angst

Games: Prototype/Assassin’s Creed (Protocreed)

The past few months had been pretty crazy for Desmond. After saving the entire planet, it was decided that a change of scene for him and his fellow Assassins would be nice; and so they now had a hideout in Manhattan. It was a decently sized, abandoned apartment. As their luck would have it, they decided to show up just as a viral outbreak had ravaged the city.  The virus on it’s own was bad enough, but a few days into their stay they had learned that two organisations involved (Gentek and Blackwatch) were riddled with Templars. For Desmond, this meant many missions, a few injuries, two or three surprise encounters with the infected (during which he absolutely did NOT scream) and a lot of meetings to summarise each mission. 

Oh, and he met a super-powered virus freak.

He remembered the moment vividly. He’d managed to sneak into a Gentek facility and was making his way back out with the information he’d gotten his hands on. As Desmond was leaving, an alarm started blaring throughout the entire building, accompanied by red flashing lights. Desmond paused, wondering if he had been the one to set off the alarm. He turned over his shoulder just in time to see a group of armed Blackwatch soldiers round the corner. His stomach sank - he was good at fighting, but he was guy with a blade attached to his arm. He froze and watched as the soldiers ran towards his hiding place in the shadows, getting closer, so close he could hear their heavy breathing...

And then they ran straight past him. Puzzled, Desmond turned to follow their path with his eyes. He was met with a sight that made his heart leap into his throat. A man, just a bit shorter than Desmond, stood opposite the soldiers, who had now stopped. The man was wearing a pair of jeans, a black and red leather jacket, a hoodie (wasn’t that funny?), and a shirt with the collar up. Weird. However, this is not what drew Desmond’s attention, for when he looked at the soldier closest to this man, he saw a blade sticking out through his back. A long blade, almost as long as he was tall, coming from the man’s arm. No, it was the man's arm. He was too shocked to move. He stood and watched in horror as the man cut the soldiers to pieces like wet tissue paper, the once grey hallway newly painted red with blood.

Naturally, they got to talking, and it turned out they both hated the Templars. Well, Alex (the man had awkwardly introduced himself) hated Blackwatch and Gentek. But it didn’t take much discussion for them to realise they were more or less on the same side. Alex helped Desmond through the increased security so that he could get out of the base with his precious info. Then, Alex gave him the number to a phone he’d gotten hold of and left almost as quickly as he’d appeared not ten minutes ago.

Fast forward a couple of months (and a lot of missions) down the line and Desmond was sort of friends with Alex. He said sort of, because Alex would never admit it. But Alex was friendly with him. What Desmond initially interpreted as rudeness was actually social awkwardness. Alex wasn’t deliberately a dick - not most of the time, anyway. He just didn’t have a clue about how to talk to people. And he had a good reason, Desmond thought. Alex wasn’t human; he was the Blacklight virus. He was made to be a killing machine. He was a killing machine- a pretty damn good one, too. Alex never stopped. He was in his element surrounded by enemies. He didn’t sleep and he couldn’t stay in the same space for a long time. He’d soon grow restless. Despite all this, he’d developed his own mind and thoughts.

So when Desmond found him sat on top of a roof, looking rather still apart from his swinging legs, he knew something was wrong.

“Hey, buddy. You been parkouring without me?“ Desmond called out softly, hoping he’d be able to lighten the gloomy mood that seemed to be clinging to Alex.

Alex didn’t answer.

“Alex?“ Desmond moved to sit beside the virus-man, a concerned expression falling over his face. He was answered only with a soft grunt from the other. “Hey, what’s wrong, Alex?“

“Nothing. I’m fine.“ Alex replied in a voice not too dissimilar to a growl - his normal tone of voice.

Desmond pulled a face. “Dude, I know you enough by now to know that you sitting up here alone means you’re thinking about something. Probably not something good. Knowing you, something horrible, actu-”

“Shut up.“ Alex snapped. He shifted just enough that the light of a nearby billboard lit up his face, allowing Desmond to see his expression. He’d expected Alex to look angry, or maybe even confused. But Alex, he looked... he looked miserable. 

“Whoa, hey... I’m sorry. Seriously, Alex, what’s wrong? You look really upset.“ For a moment, Desmond debated putting an arm around Alex, but decided he liked his arm where it was - meaning, attached to his body - and thought better of it. 

Alex turned his head away to hide his face from Desmond. He stayed silent for a few minutes. Desmond sat by him, also silent, waiting patiently for Alex to answer. Then finally...

“I never got a chance.“ Alex mumbled, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

“A chance to what, Alex?“ Desmond spoke gently. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Alex off by interrogating him.

“Be human.“ Alex sighed heavily, then lifted his head slightly to get a better view of the people walking on the street below. “I have so many memories. Happy memories... But they’ll never be mine. I had a cross-hair on my back the moment I woke up in the morgue because... I’m a monster.“ The last few words were spoken so quietly they were almost a whisper. And, oh, if Alex looked miserable before, now he looked like he might cry. 

“Oh, Alex...“ And before he could stop himself, Desmond was gently pulling Alex into an awkward sideways hug. Alex tensed immediately and Desmond felt tendrils squirming uncomfortably under his arms. He was about to pull away when he felt the squirming stop, then Alex practically melted into his hold.

Alex was slightly cold to the touch, which surprised Desmond. He’d always thought Alex would be warm. For a moment, Desmond couldn’t fathom how Alex had refrained from chopping his head off, let alone how he had managed to relax. Then it hit him... This was the first time in this Alex’s life that he’d ever had any physical contact that wasn’t intended to hurt him. This was the first time he'd felt comfort from another. Even though he'd never admit it, Alex needed this.

“Alex, you are not a monster. You aren’t the mindless killer that they tried to make you into. You hear me?” Desmond spoke quietly. He didn’t get a verbal reply, but he suddenly had two cold arms wrapped around him and a head resting on his shoulder.

“Hey, we have the day off tomorrow. How about we stay in and watch a movie or something? Would you like that?“ Desmond asked tentatively. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.“ Alex mumbled into Desmond’s shoulder. 

They stayed like that for a while afterwards before Desmond eventually coaxed Alex into the hideout to lay down on the couch. Desmond covered him with a fluffy blanket, which earned him a funny look from Alex. Desmond only chuckled at this as he sat beside Alex. He talked quietly to Alex about completely random subjects. Alex relaxed at this, even gave some sarcastic comments where he could. Eventually, Desmond paused his rambling to check the time. 12:43am. Damn.

“Hey, Alex, I’m gonna hit the hay. You okay with that, or do you want me to stay?“ He heard no reply. “Alex?“ He turned to look toward the couch. The sight he was met with was very unexpected.

There was Alex, asleep. Desmond smiled softly  and moved to pull the blanket up to Alex’s shoulders. It seemed he was out cold, completely unaware of the world around him.

“Goodnight, Alex.“ Desmond whispered, before leaving to go to his bed. He fell asleep quickly. He was tired, but he was also happy that Alex had finally found peace.

...Or so it had seemed. Desmond awoke not long later to the sound of distressed yell, followed by tearing and hurried footsteps. He wasn’t the only one that heard it, because soon, he was running out of his room along with Rebecca, Lucy, and Shaun. The other three got a slight head start on him. Desmond looked to the other Assassins, who had their eyes fixed on the couch, all wearing worried expressions. Desmond moved forward to follow their gaze.

He saw an empty couch with several long, deep claw marks in it. A quick scan of the room and a wide open window confirmed his worries:

Alex was gone.