#i am going through my drafts and trying to finish everything I started. Now I can finally get into the meta

[sadly-never-after]

Ok, now I am done. no more shitposts anymore.

[azzibuckets]

i wanna see you [pazzi]

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

summary: lil oneshot bc i can’t stop thinking about paige singing for azzi to open the door

masterlist

“I wanna see you.” Paige’s loud, sing-songy voice penetrates through Azzi’s supposedly soundproof Bose earbuds, and Azzi resists the urge to slam her head against her desk.

“Paige, don’t piss me off right now,” she calls out, trying to focus on the words swimming around on her laptop screen.

She’s been working on her paper for what seems like hours, with Paige curled to her side for the first bit. At first, she’d tried to make it work. Brainstorming was easy enough, and she jotted down thoughts floating through her head as she’d structured her outline. But then Paige had rolled over, insisting on lying her head on Azzi’s chest, which inevitably came with the full weight of her 6’0 self pinning Azzi’s arm down. See, the thing about Paige Bueckers is that physical touch is her love language, so of course that meant that with her, there was no such thing as just a simple head on chest. Paige found every opportunity for maximum skin to skin contact, which meant her entire body was slumped over Azzi’s - a habit Azzi usually found endearing, but not when her paper was due in three hours.

With a sigh, Azzi had relented to her fate of only typing with one hand. But after five minutes of only being able to write a single painstakingly slow sentence, her right hand started to cramp and her left arm started falling asleep with pins and needles. “Paige,” she’d said gently. “Can you get up please? I really need to finish this.”

With a huff, Paige had dramatically flung herself to the other end of the bed. “My girl hates me,” she’d goaded under her breath, which Azzi had pretended not to hear for both of their sakes. Thankfully, with a couple of feet of space between them and full range of her hands, Azzi was able to finish the first draft of her introduction.

Some steady progress was finally being made until she felt a socked toe start rubbing the inner part of her calf. Looking up, she was met with hooded blue eyes and a smirk. “You look sexy right now, mami, working so hard.” The blonde has always been a little bit more down bad for Azzi whenever she wore her glasses, which the younger girl always gave her shit for but secretly loved.

On Azzi’s end, it certainly didn’t help that Paige was fresh from the shower, her hair down for once with blonde strands spilling over her shoulders. Her sweater had ridden up to show the outline of her abs, and her sweatpants were hanging on so low to her hips that Azzi could see her v-line. It had taken everything in Azzi not to throw away her laptop and kiss the other girl.

“Paige,” she reprimanded, masking her desire with irritatation. “No talking, okay? I really need to lock in.”

Pouting, Paige had shut up and resorted to scrolling mindlessly on Tiktok, thankfully with her volume down. But soon enough, she started laughing to herself, quietly. Azzi closed her eyes briefly, waiting for her to finish so she could write in peace, but Paige seemed to find each video funnier than the one before, her soft giggles turning into full on belly laughs. Azzi couldn’t take it anymore. “What could possibly be this fucking funny?”

Paige froze, eyes flicking up from her phone. “Ummm. It’s a drawing of us. Wanna see? You look hella goofy.” She eagerly turned her phone around, scooting closer to show Azzi, but Azzi pushed her hand away.

“Paige. Seriously. This is important, and I can’t focus.” She nudged her shoulder. “You gotta go.”

“Are you for real?” Paige’s mouth dropped a little. “You kicking me out of my own room?”

“Either you leave or I go back to my room and there will be no sleepover tonight.” Azzi’s voice was firm, leaving no room for an answer.

“This is fucked up,” Paige groaned, getting up from the bed to collect her things. “What am I supposed to do?”

“The exact same thing you’re doing here - but there.” Azzi pointed towards the door. “I’m sure the other girls are doing something fun. Go join them.”

“My own room. My own bed. My headphones,” Paige grumbled, choosing to ignore her girlfriend’s suggestions. “You might as well just break up with me.”

That had been a brief 20 minutes ago, and Azzi had thoroughly enjoyed the brief period of peace until she’d heard a thud, presumably of Paige slumping on the floor on the other side of the door. “Let me in,” Paige began singing. “I wanna see your face.”

Azzi grits her teeth.

“Please open the dooooor,” Paige continues. “I need you to open the door.”

Azzi turns up the volume of her music, but to no avail.

“Just one kiss,” Paige moans from outside. She hears amother thud, this time from her girlfriend’s head hitting the door. “One kiss and I’ll goooo.”

When Azzi opens the door, Paige stumbles forward into her, surprised. Azzi grabs the collar of the older girl’s shirt, pulling her in to press a firm kiss to her mouth. Paige responds eagerly, tongue swiping at her bottom lip as she tries to deepen the kiss, but Azzi gently pushes her away before it can get too far. “Satisfied?”

Paige grins dopily. Azzi plants another kiss on her lips before releasing her shirt. “Okay. Go chill out.” With a roll of her eyes, Paige finally gives up, ambling over to the couch to join KK’s live.

Two hours later, Azzi is finally done. She slams her laptop shut, her eyes bleary as she wanders out of the room. KK is on the couch, playing Fortnite. “Where’d Paige go?”

“I think she went to your room. Said she was gonna take a nap,” KK responded, not looking away from the TV.

When Azzi opens the door, Paige is slumped in her bed and cocooned in her favorite purple blanket, snores coming out of her parted lips. Azzi climbs onto the bed, hand wrapping around the older girl’s waist and face nuzzling into the nape of her shoulders. Paige stirs slowly before blinking awake. “You finished your essay?” she asks groggily, flipping around so they’re eye to eye.

Azzi nods, slinging a leg across the other girl’s hips. “Tired?”

“Mm.” Paige closes her eyes, almost falling back asleep in Azzi’s arms before realizing she’s still supposed to be mad. Eyes twitching, she crosses her arms, angling herself away from the younger girl’s body.

“You mad at me?” Azzi kisses her cheek, watching closely for her reaction. Paige’s hands stay folded across her chest, but her fingers twitch with restraint. Azzi notices and bites back a smile. “I’m sorry, honey.” She bites at her ear, capturing the soft flesh of her lobe between her teeth and tugging gently, but Paige remains stiff. “I had to focus.” She rolls over directly on top of Paige, smoothing back her blonde hair away from her face with both hands and rubbing her thumbs across her cheeks. “Let me make it up to you?”

“Lock me out of my own room again and we’re gonna have problems,” Paige threatens, trying to sound as scary as possible. She knows she’s failed when Azzi’s dimples appeared.

“Never again,” her girlfriend promises, beginning a trail of sweet, open mouthed kisses down Paige’s shoulder. This time, Paige responds, hips pressing up into her as one hand finds the back of her head, guiding her motions. “You’re a big baby, you know that?” Azzi teases, smiling fondly down at the blonde, who shakes her head indignantly. “But you’re my big baby.” She smothers Paige’s face in more kisses until the older girl can no longer fight back her smile.

“You finish your paper?” Paige asks.

“Yes. But remind me to never try and do homework with you ever again.” Azzi dips her head against Paige’s forehead.

“That’s offensive,” Paige complains. “I can lock in.”

“Don’t even try me,” Azzi argues back. “And don’t get me started on your fuck ass singing. You’re so obsessed with me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been able to stay away from you,” Paige admits. “Not since I was sixteen.” And she’s not wrong. Paige has never been able to stay away: not when they were kids on a plane, heading home after winning a gold medal. Not when they were in upperclassmen in high school, facetiming each other after every game into the hours of the morning. Not when Paige was a freshman, sending Azzi highlight reels and talking about the day they’d win a national championship together. Not even now, when they see each other every day, but Paige still falls a little bit more in love the more she knows every little thing about Azzi.

But Azzi hasn’t ever been able to stay away, either. Admitting that, though? She can save that for another day.

[bu3ck3r]

tied together – part 2

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

a/n: okay part 2 is finally here! thank you for all the kind words about part 1 i love yall fr. after you read spam my inbox and tell me how was it and what you want to see next in this series because that would help me finish writing it faster🩵

tied together – masterlist

paige’s pov:

there were three different air vents in the ceiling above paige’s bed, and she’d been staring at them long enough to map out their pattern in her head. she could hear the soft hum of the central air unit kicking on and off, a quiet rhythm that should’ve been comforting. should’ve put her to sleep. but it didn’t.

nika was snoring lightly in the other bed. arm slung over her stomach. unaware that her friend was drowning in a mess of memories, nerves, and someone she couldn’t stop thinking about.

paige rolled over again. the clock on the nightstand glared at her in burning red: 3:05 am.

she wanted to scream.

instead, she pressed her face into the pillow, muffling a frustrated groan. her legs tangled in the hotel sheets, which had somehow gotten too hot despite the air conditioning. she threw them off and sat up, scrubbing her hands over her face. her chest was tight again.

not the post-game adrenaline. not soreness.

azzi.

always azzi.

her name had been playing on a loop in paige’s mind since the final buzzer. since that short conversation they shared just off the court—tense and quiet and loaded with everything paige had been trying to suppress since their last goodbye. since the last time she kissed her in the backseat of her car with trembling hands and didn’t say anything afterward. since she found out azzi committed to south carolina in a headline instead of a phone call.

what azzi had said to her after the game kept echoing in her head:

“i don’t know if it’s too late.”

it felt like it might be. felt like they’d crossed whatever line you don’t come back from. not because of the game. not even because of the school decisions. it was everything in between. the silence. the missed chances. the way they’d let pride fill the space where honesty should’ve lived.

she ran her hands down her face, frustrated. it wasn’t supposed to go like this.

they were supposed to rise together. be legendary together. win together. lose together.

instead? they had become a story people whispered about. “paige and azzi would’ve been inseparable if they played together.”

now they were rivals.

she should’ve said more. in the tunnel. when azzi stood there looking torn between biting her head off and reaching out. paige had seen it—the war behind her eyes. she could read azzi like a damn book. could always tell when she was bluffing. when she was hurt.

tonight, azzi had been both.

and paige had let her walk away.

again.

and now here she was—three in the morning, sitting in a hotel bed , not an ounce of sleep in her body, and one very real urge building like wildfire in her chest.

she reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone, squinting against the light as she unlocked it.

her thumb hovered over azzi’s name.

they hadn’t texted in months. not since before azzi announced she was going to sc. not since paige stopped replying altogether. there were so many almost-messages saved in the drafts: little check-ins, late-night thoughts, deleted love letters.

she hovered her fingers over the keyboard. started typing. deleted. tried again.

are you still awake?

she stared at it.

didn’t send it.

she started typing again, like she had a thousand times.

i miss you.

just those three words.

she stared at them. read them over. read them again. her heart thumped like it was trying to break out of her chest.

then, like always, she deleted it.

she couldn’t do this through a screen.

not anymore.

she was out of bed five minutes later.

slipping her phone into the hoodie pocket. moving slow to not wake nika. she slid on her uconn slides and crept into the hallway with her hoodie pulled tight around her, the strings bouncing against her chest.

the hallway was dim and silent, except for the low sound of vending machines and the soft, faraway sound of an elevator ding.

paige walked past room after room, carpet muffling her footsteps.

room 350.

she remembered the number because she’d seen it on a clipboard earlier that day when the teams checked in. she was signing some form in the hotel lobby and caught the room assignments. her eyes had skimmed the page, heart skipping when she saw bueckers – 250 right above fudd – 350.

she told herself it was coincidence she saw it. she told herself she wasn’t trying to remember.

but here she was.

standing in front of it.

she hesitated, staring at the door like they held the answer to smthing she didn’t know how to ask.

paige closed her eyes for a second. her hand trembled as she raised it. she knocked.

the door opened fast—like azzi had been standing right behind it.

maybe she had.

and there she was.

azzi.

hair messy. hoodie oversized. barefoot.

she froze when she saw paige.

neither of them said anything for a second.

then azzi leaned against the doorframe, blinking like she wasn’t sure if this was real or just something her brain had conjured up from exhaustion.

azzi’s pov:

the room was too cold, but azzi refused to get under the covers. she’d been sitting alone upright in bed for nearly an hour, hoodie on, legs crossed, just… thinking.

not about the game.

about her.

about the way paige had looked when their eyes met across the court again. like she hadn’t aged a day and yet somehow carried years in her expression. about the way her voice cracked when she said, “i don’t know if it’s too late.”

that moment replayed in her mind over and over, like a skipped record.

azzi had pretended to be fine all day. laughed with her teammates, took pictures with fans, smiled for the cameras. but she hadn’t been fine in months.

not since that night paige stopped answering.

not since she chose herself and sc and left paige behind—and paige didn’t fight for her.

azzi had her phone in her lap, paige’s contact open on the screen, but her fingers refused to move. her pride refused to reach out first. again.

she was just about to shut it off when the knock came.

it wasn’t loud. but she knew. somehow, before she even looked through the peephole. she knew.

she pulled open the door fast, heart already thudding in her chest.

and there she was.

paige.

hair messy. eyes tired. mouth parted like she didn’t know what to say.

azzi stepped aside without a word.

paige stood just inside the doorway, her hand still curled around the strap of her hoodie like she wasn’t sure she was staying. her eyes swept the room—messy bed,few azzi’s tshirts hanging halfway off the chair—but she didn’t comment. she just looked… tired. unsteady. like showing up at 3am hadn’t been impulsive at all, but something she’d been fighting herself over all night.

paige swallowed. “hey.”

azzi’s voice was a whisper. “paige it’s 3 a.m.”

“i know.”

another pause.

azzi tilted her head slightly. “you came all the way up here just to stare at me?”

“i wasn’t done,” paige said, her voice low. “back there. in the tunnel.”

azzi looked away. “you were right not to be.”

there was a beat. a breath.

then paige stepped forward.

“look, i don’t know what the hell we’re doing anymore. but i’m tired of pretending like this doesn’t still mess me up.”

azzi didn’t say anything, but her eyes softened. just a little.

paige kept going.

“i messed up. i didn’t call when i should’ve. i didn’t fight for us when i should’ve. and maybe that’s on me. but i need you to know…” she trailed off, swallowing hard. “it wasn’t because i stopped caring.”

azzi blinked slowly, her arms folding tighter across her chest. “it felt like it.”

“i know.”

more silence.

the hallway was still. the only sound was paige’s heartbeat thudding against her ribs.

then azzi stepped aside, just enough for paige to walk past her.

just enough to let her in.

and paige did.

she doesn’t say anything when paige steps inside. the door closes with a soft click, like the quiet has finally wrapped around them and won’t let go.

azzi leans back against it, watching as paige walks a few steps into the room—like she’s unsure whether she’s allowed to belong here.

the space between them is maybe five feet, but it feels like ten miles.

“nice room,” paige says, her voice low, teasing by instinct but without bite.

azzi doesn’t laugh. just gives her a slow once-over. hair tousled. hoodie sleeves tugged over her hands. eyes tired but too alive for this hour.

“you’re bold,” azzi finally says. “for showing up here.”

paige shrugs. “you didn’t slam the door.”

“didn’t mean i was ready to talk.”

“you didn’t look ready to not talk either.”

silence again.

the adrenaline from the game, the tunnel, paige’s sudden appearance—it’s all still buzzing under azzi’s skin.

“you want to sit?” azzi asked quietly, voice low so it didn’t carry down the hallway. “or…?”

“yeah.” paige exhaled. “yeah, i just—couldn’t sleep.”

azzi moved toward the bed and sat cross-legged near the top, motioning for her to sit. paige took the far edge, careful like she was afraid to sink too far into the mattress. the air between them stretched, tight and quiet.

she doesn’t know what she wants more: to scream at her, or to lie next to her and pretend nothing ever changed.

“you really think showing up like this fixes it?” azzi asks quietly.

paige doesn’t answer right away.

“no,” she says. “but i think it’s a start.”

“i kept thinking about what you said,” paige said after a beat. “or what you didn’t say.”

azzi swallowed. “in the tunnel?”

paige nodded.

“it’s not that simple,” azzi said. “it never was.”

“i didn’t ask for simple.” paige’s voice was soft, but not weak. “i just want to know if it’s too late.”

azzi looked at her. really looked. the same loose blonde hair, the same tired eyes, the same little freckle under her lip she used to stare at when paige would lean in close and pretend they were “just friends.”

“it felt like you gave up,” azzi whispered.

paige flinched. “you left.”

“you ghosted me.”

“you didn’t call.”

azzi laughed, bitter. “you think committing to south carolina was about you?”

paige blinked. “wasn’t it?”

azzi’s breath caught. she turned away, stared at the lamp on the desk. “i couldn’t be in your shadow, paige. not forever. not when i was trying to figure out who i even was.”

“i never wanted you in my shadow.”

“you didn’t have to want it. it just happened.”

silence again.

paige shifted on the bed. “so we just… stop talking? after everything?”

azzi didn’t answer.

──────────── ౨ৎ ────────────

azzi hasn’t moved since she sat down. paige doesn’t know what to do with her hands. her mouth. her entire body.

“you looked good out there,” she says, trying to break the silence again. “you always do, but… tonight especially.”

azzi looks up at her with a dry, unimpressed expression. “compliments now?”

“too soon?”

“try ‘not helpful.’”

paige nods, tries to laugh it off, but it dies quickly.

“i miss you,” she blurts, before she can stop herself.

azzi freezes.

the air shifts.

“you don’t get to say that like it’s easy,” azzi says slowly.

“i’m not trying to make it easy. i’m trying to be honest.”

“where was that honesty few months ago?” her voice is sharp, but not loud. controlled. the way azzi always was—even when she was breaking.

paige doesn’t flinch. “i was scared.”

“of what? me?”

“of choosing you and losing the rest.”

azzi stands up suddenly. “so you didn’t choose me, and you lost me anyway.”

the words hang in the air like smoke from a slow fire. dangerous. choking.

paige walks closer. not enough to touch. just enough to be in range.

“i didn’t know what i was doing. i thought we’d have more time.”

azzi shakes her head. “we had the time. you just… didn’t show up.”

paige leaned back on her hands, voice lighter, more teasing now: “we were definitely more than friends. i still remember the backseat of my car in december.”

azzi raised an eyebrow. “we were cold.”

“oh, right. that’s why your hands were under my shirt.”

“you weren’t complaining.”

paige smirked. “i’m not now.”

and just like that, the air changed again. warmer. more dangerous.

azzi looked at her, studying the soft curve of her mouth, the way her eyes held hers like a dare. like she was testing how far she could push before something cracked.

“you always did this,” azzi said. “made it a joke before it got too real.”

paige’s expression faltered. “it was real.”

“then why didn’t you fight for me?”

azzi didn’t mean to say it like that. but it was too late to take it back.

“i wanted you to fight,” she added, quieter now. “to come after me. even just once.”

paige stared at her. “you think i didn’t want to?”

“you didn’t.”

“i was hurt.”

“so was i.”

paige looked down at her lap, fingers twisting together. “we were scared.”

azzi nodded. “we still are.”

neither of them moved for a long time.

then paige looked up, slow, like the weight of every memory was pulling her gaze. “i missed you,” she whispered.

azzi swallowed hard. “i missed you too.”

there was a pull. invisible, magnetic. paige inched closer, her knees brushing azzi’s now. her eyes were soft, unreadable. but azzi knew that look. that was the look that used to undo her in long car rides and quiet corners at tournaments where no one was looking.

she should’ve looked away.

but she didn’t.

and paige leaned in.

just close enough that azzi could feel her breath.

“i shouldn’t,” azzi said.

“you don’t want to?”

paige’s voice was quiet, but it wasn’t a question. not really.

azzi’s heart beat too loud in her chest. “that’s not the same thing.”

usa basketball u16 women’s national team

it was after curfew one night during fiba women’s americas championship in argentina. they were buzzing on adrenaline and the quiet hush of a hotel where everyone else was asleep.

paige had crept into azzi’s room, just like this. hoodie half-zipped, socks mismatched. she had laid down beside her on the bed like it was the most natural thing in the world.

they talked for hours. about fear, pressure and carrying the weight of a country on their shoulders. paige had this soft way of looking at her—like she saw the good parts azzi tried to hide under perfection.

then paige reached out and touched her hand, so gentle. their fingers curled together. and azzi had leaned in first that night.

their first kiss was quiet. unpracticed. but it burned in azzi’s memory like scripture.

the next morning, they never talked about it. but everything changed.

paige nodded slowly. “it was real, though. right? we weren’t just friends.”

azzi huffed a soft laugh. “friends don’t make out in hotel elevators.”

“or in the back of your mom’s car.”

“or sneak into each other’s rooms during usa basketball.”

they looked at each other.

and smiled. the kind of smile that held too much weight behind it.

october 2021

they were on the rooftop of some building, sneakers kicked off, music low. the stars were hiding behind a thick gray haze, but they didn’t care.

azzi was leaning against her shoulder, paige’s hoodie pulled over both of them like a tent.

“you ever think we’ll get sick of each other?” azzi asked.

paige laughed. “you’d miss me in, like, two days.”

“two hours,” azzi corrected with a smile.

there had been no doubt back then. just this quiet, loud certainty. the way you just knew when you were with the right person—even if the world didn’t make space for it.

azzi traced circles on paige’s hand. “don’t leave.”

“i won’t.”

both of them did.

paige leaned back against the headboard. “you remember the night when we went out on the roof?” she asked, voice low.

“oh my god,” azzi laughed. “you had me wrapped in your hoodie like that was gonna make us invisible.”

“you were cold,” paige said with a shrug. “and also… you looked cute in it.”

azzi turned to her, eyes playful. “so you admit it. you were down bad.”

“yeah whatever, but you know what else i remember,” paige said, voice soft. “usa basketball u16. you kissed me and then you wouldn’t look at me the next day.”

azzi laughed under her breath. “i was freaking out.”

“you still do that, kiss me and then disappear.”

azzi bit her lip. “and you still let me.”

paige turned her body slightly, resting her weight on one elbow.

they were quiet again. but not the heavy kind. this was lighter. fragile.

“i kissed you first that night,” azzi said. “and i kept waiting for you to say something after. like, ‘tell me what it meant’. but you didn’t.”

paige looked away, shame crawling up her spine. “i didn’t know how. i was scared.”

“of what?”

“that if i said i loved you, you wouldn’t say it back.”

azzi was quiet.

and then she said, “i would’ve.”

the words hung in the room like a heartbeat.

azzi’s hands are clenched at her sides, and she can feel the war happening in her chest—part of her wants to yell, part of her wants to cry, and part of her just wants to fall into paige’s hoodie and pretend nothing changed.

“you broke my heart,” azzi says. quiet. not accusing. not soft. just true.

“i know.”

“and you waited until you lost to come here and say it?”

“i didn’t come because we lost.” paige looks right at her. “i came because i couldn’t leave town knowing i hadn’t looked you in the eye and told you everything i never said.”

azzi’s eyes start to sting. she blinks hard.

“i was angry,” she says. “for a long time.”

“you should’ve been.”

“and i hated you for a little while.”

paige doesn’t flinch.

“but mostly,” azzi says, her voice almost breaking, “i just missed you.”

they’re lying on the bed now, not touching, but close enough that their pinkies brush every time one of them breathes too deep.

it’s quiet.

their voices are tired. their eyes are heavier.

“i used to rehearse it,” paige says softly. “what i’d say to you if i got the chance.”

“yeah?”

“it never went like this.”

azzi smiles, faintly. “same.”

azzi looked over at paige, really looked at her. blonde hair messy, eyes bloodshot but glowing in the low light, hoodie drowning her frame.

she looked tired, but beautiful.

azzi shifted. “what do we do now?”

paige looked up. “what do you want to do?”

azzi hesitated.

paige’s eyes softened, and then she said it—just barely louder than a whisper.

“come here.”

the kiss came slow.

no rush. no adrenaline.

azzi leaned forward first, hands trembling just a little, and paige met her halfway. their mouths pressed together in something warm, something real. it was a kiss built on months of silence, years of closeness, and all the things they never said.

when they pulled apart, neither of them moved. they stayed forehead-to-forehead, breathing the same breath.

“i can’t do this if we’re gonna pretend it’s nothing again,” paige whispered.

azzi nodded. “me neither.”

“then let’s figure out how to be something. just… not tonight.”

“tonight,” azzi murmured, “i just want you to stay right here.”

another long silence. but this one isn’t heavy. not quite. it’s almost… suspended. like the night hasn’t decided whether it’s heartbreak or healing.

paige finally turns toward her. “do you think we could start over?”

azzi doesn’t answer right away.

instead, she reaches up and gently tucks a loose curl behind paige’s ear. her fingers linger, and for a second—just one—paige leans into the touch.

“i don’t want to start over,” azzi says. “i want us to keep going.”

“but we’re not the same.”

“no,” azzi agrees. “but maybe that’s not the worst thing.”

──────────── ౨ৎ ────────────

they’d moved under the covers at some point. not touching. not kissing. just talking.

about everything.

about how paige felt like the injury had turned her into a ghost and how she didn’t want azzi to see her fading.

about how azzi cried on the plane to south carolina, because she realized she didn’t know how to build a life without paige in it.

4:45 a.m.

they’re still awake when the first light slips through the blinds.

azzi’s head is on paige’s shoulder now. paige’s fingers trace lazy patterns on her wrist.

they haven’t said the word love all night.

but it’s everywhere.

in the silences. in the unfinished sentences. in the way neither of them asked the other to leave.

they don’t know what tomorrow looks like. whether anything really got solved. whether this is just nostalgia wearing a disguise.

but for now—for this hour—it’s enough.

just them.

just paige and azzi.

and the space between them finally closing.

6.00 a.m.

paige doesn’t remember falling asleep. she only remembers the feeling of azzi’s breath warm against her neck, her name spoken softly in the dark, like an invitation and a promise all at once.

now, it’s morning.

the harsh kind. not soft and easy like in movies, where the light’s always golden and perfect. it’s gray, a little cold, and the sheets are tangled at their feet. her mouth is dry, her heart full of things she can’t quite articulate. she’s lying there in azzi’s bed, still wearing her hoodie from the night. everything about the situation feels like a careful balance, and paige isn’t sure how to breathe without making the whole thing fall apart.

azzi’s still asleep next to her, tucked against her side like a piece of her is trying to anchor itself in the moment. her hand is draped over paige’s ribcage, fingers just barely brushing the fabric of the hoodie, but the touch feels intimate, grounding.

it’s too early. too much. too real. paige doesn’t know how to walk this line between regret and longing.

she turns her head slightly, watching azzi’s face. the peacefulness there is so different from what’s been between them for years. paige doesn’t know what to do with the softness.

“i could stay here forever”, she thinks, but the world won’t let her.

azzi stirs beside her, shifts in the bed. the blanket moves slightly, and for a second, paige thinks she might slip into sleep again. but then azzi opens her eyes, blinking slowly as if she doesn’t quite understand where she is.

when their gazes meet, there’s something fragile there, something unspoken. but neither of them says a word.

the tension between them isn’t angry or distant—it’s something else. something too fragile to touch, but impossible to ignore.

azzi finally clears her throat. “you steal the covers even in your sleep.”

paige chuckles softly, though it’s awkward. “you drool on your pillow.”

azzi’s lips twitch, but it’s a strained smile. “good to know you’re paying attention.”

paige’s heart beats a little faster, but she can’t tell if it’s from the teasing or the something heavy still hanging in the air. she shifts slightly, her arm brushing against azzi’s. neither of them pulls away.

they’re caught in this moment—too close to run, too far to hide. but neither of them wants to break it just yet.

the silence between them stretches on, and this time, it doesn’t feel as comfortable. the clock is ticking. the day is waiting, and paige doesn’t know how to start the conversation. how to untangle everything they’ve left unsaid.

──────────── ౨ৎ ────────────

azzi pokes at her fruit, trying to ignore the strange sense of familiarity she’s feeling in this moment. she doesn’t want to feel comfortable. not yet. she doesn’t want to admit that the night before—whatever it was—mattered.

paige is sitting across from her, picking at a muffin like she’s doing her best to pretend this isn’t an awkward situation. but the air between them feels too soft for the usual easy banter they’re used to.

azzi stirs her coffee with more force than necessary, watching paige out of the corner of her eye. it’s too early for this, too raw. she doesn’t want to say anything that could make this harder than it already is.

but paige’s voice cuts through her thoughts. “i think that dude’s trying to figure out if i’m kidnapping you or something.”

azzi raises an eyebrow, glancing toward the table where one of the south carolina coaching staff is watching them. “you’re not that charming.”

“you let me walk you down here,” paige says, her voice quieter now.

azzi takes a deep breath, trying to ignore the flutter in her chest. “that was pity.”

“that was longing, and you know it.”

azzi doesn’t laugh. just stares at paige, feeling that familiar tension—pulling her closer and pushing her away at the same time.

“can we just… not?” azzi says, her voice quieter, more serious than she intended. “we both know what’s happened. we can’t pretend it’ll be easy.”

“i’m not pretending,” paige says softly, her eyes not meeting azzi’s. “but it’s still real.”

azzi’s heart skips a beat. real. what does that even mean now?

she looks away, trying to steady herself. “we both have things we have to deal with,” azzi mutters.

there’s no more laughter between them, just the sound of soft clinking as they finish their meals, neither one willing to speak more than they already have.

──────────── ౨ৎ ────────────

azzi has no reason to be back at the hotel.

she has practice soon. she’s supposed to be with her team. but something about the morning makes her feel restless—an itch she can’t scratch, a question she can’t answer.

she ends up in front of paige’s hotel room door, her hand poised to knock.

but before she can do anything, the door opens, and there’s paige—hair still damp from her shower.

azzi’s heart skips a beat. she doesn’t know why she’s here. she doesn’t even have a good reason for it. it’s just that this feels like the place she’s supposed to be.

“oh,” paige says, her voice startled. “i didn’t think i’d see you.”

azzi shrugs, playing it off. “just thought i’d stop by. no big deal.”

“right.” paige looks at her for a long moment, her gaze soft but unreadable. “are you sure you’re not just trying to make me lose my focus?”

azzi shrugs again, like it’s nothing. but something shifts between them, something unspoken and heavy. neither of them knows how to move past this, but neither of them wants to walk away either.

“i don’t know what you want from me, azzi,” paige finally says, her voice quieter now, like she’s afraid to speak louder and break whatever fragile hold they still have. “i never meant for any of this to get… so complicated.”

azzi’s eyes flicker, caught off guard by the raw honesty in paige’s voice. she’s not sure how to respond. what do you say when everything you’ve been holding in for so long suddenly threatens to pour out?

“i just thought…” azzi starts, her voice trailing off as she looks at paige, trying to find the right words. “i just thought we could pretend it didn’t happen.”

paige laughs softly, but there’s no humor in it. “i wish. i really do. but you can’t unfeel something like this.”

azzi steps into the room, the door clicking shut behind her. the air between them feels thick now, charged in a way that’s both terrifying and thrilling. she doesn’t know what she’s doing here, doesn’t know why she came, but she knows she doesn’t want to leave yet. not without saying something, anything, to ease the ache that’s settled in her chest.

“i didn’t come here to mess things up,” azzi says, a little too quickly. “i just… i just wanted to talk to you. to make sure you’re okay.”

paige stares at her for a long moment, like she’s trying to figure out if azzi’s telling the truth or just hiding behind words. finally, paige sighs, her shoulders sagging with a weariness azzi can feel in her own bones.

“i’m not okay,” paige admits quietly. “but i will be. i’ll figure it out.”

azzi watches her, heart aching. she takes a step forward, not sure what to say next, but she’s so close now that she can hear the unsteady rhythm of paige’s breath. she could kiss her again. she could lean in and make it all feel better, if only for a few seconds. but something tells her that would just make it worse.

“you can’t do this alone, you know,” azzi says, her voice soft but firm.

paige meets her gaze, and for a second, there’s a flicker of something—hope, maybe?—but it’s gone before azzi can name it.

“i know,” paige whispers. “but i have to figure it out on my own. i can’t keep pretending like everything’s fine when it’s not.”

azzi steps back, letting the silence fall between them again. she didn’t expect things to be easy, didn’t expect her to just open up and make it all okay. but she hadn’t expected this, either—the feeling of knowing the space between them is widening, and that there’s no easy way to bridge it.

for a moment, neither of them says anything.

“i should go,” azzi says finally, though her voice cracks a little.

paige doesn’t stop her, doesn’t say anything. she just watches her walk toward the door, her face unreadable.

when azzi reaches the door, she pauses, hand on the knob. “paige, whatever happens, don’t forget… i’m still here. even if you don’t want me to be.”

paige doesn’t respond. she just looks at her, and azzi can feel her heart breaking in the silence that stretches between them.

pov: paige

paige steps onto the uconn bus with a heavy heart, taking a seat by the window and staring out at the world as it blurs by. the morning still feels like a haze—azzi’s voice lingering in her mind, her smile, her words.

they’re gone now. she’s gone.

but the ache is still there.

as the bus rolls down the road, the last few hours replay in paige’s head: the kiss, the awkward breakfast, azzi standing in front of her hotel room, her soft admission that she wasn’t okay.

paige closes her eyes, trying to focus on something, anything, that isn’t the hole inside her chest where azzi used to be.

“i can’t keep doing this”, she thinks, but even as she tells herself that, she knows it’s not true. she’s already too far gone. and no matter how many times she tells herself to move on, to let it go, the feelings won’t fade. they never do.

she lets her phone buzz in her hand—another notification, another distraction. but when she looks at it, it’s just a text from ice:

you good?

paige doesn’t respond right away. she lets the silence fill her for a moment before tapping out a reply:

yeah, just thinking.

and she is. thinking about the kiss, about the unspoken words, about what it means to have something real slip through her fingers when she wasn’t ready to let it go.

paige stares out the window and lets the silence settle around her like armor.

there’s a text draft open on her phone.

i think i’ve always known it was you.

she doesn’t hit send.

but she doesn’t delete it either.

the bus ride back to the airport had been long, quiet, and almost suffocating. paige couldn’t stop replaying everything that had happened the night before, azzi’s words, the soft pressure of her lips—everything was too vivid, too sharp. it’s as if the whole world paused for a moment when they were together.

but then, in the quiet of the morning they said their goodbyes and azzi had left.

paige knows she has to focus. the team needs her. the game is over, but there’s still practice, still the road ahead, still the tournament. but right now, she doesn’t want to focus on any of it.

her phone buzzes, again,text from ice:

yo, did something happened? you seem a lil off.

paige sighs, her fingers hesitating over the keys before she replies:

just tired. we’ll talk later.

she’s not sure what to say. she can’t explain this thing with azzi, this thing that keeps eating at her, and she definitely can’t tell ice that she’s been up thinking about azzi. not without sounding like a mess.

she shoves the phone back into her bag and leans back against the window, trying to ignore the unsettling feeling crawling up her spine.

pov: azzi

azzi is late. she knows it. the rest of her team is already stretching, warming up, the air filled with the low hum of sneakers on hardwood and the sharp calls of coaches.

but azzi’s mind is elsewhere. she’s still tangled up in the early morning hours, the faint echo of paige’s voice ringing in her ears. she told herself she was fine, that she was going to move on, that this wasn’t going to disrupt her focus. but every step she takes toward the court, every drill she starts, the pull of her thoughts drags her back to that hotel room.

she hasn’t been able to shake the look in paige’s eyes when they said goodbye. she can’t pretend it wasn’t something more, something that meant more than it should.

that goodbye wasn’t enough for her, and azzi’s pretty sure it wasn’t enough for paige either.

the whistle blows, and azzi quickly snaps her focus back to the court. the next drill begins, but her body feels like it’s moving without her.

she catches a glimpse of bree, watching her from the corner of the court, and azzi wonders if she has noticed the shift in her energy. she’s been distant lately, quieter than usual. it’s hard to pretend everything is fine when it’s not.

aliyah boston calls out to her during a break. “hey, you good?”

azzi forces a smile, trying to brush it off. “yeah, just focused. lots on my mind.”

aliyah’s gaze is sharp, like she sees through the mask azzi is trying to wear. “whatever it is, we’ll get through it. you’re not in this alone.”

azzi nods, though the words don’t feel as reassuring as they should. she appreciates aliyah’s support, but there’s only so much that can be said. what she really wants to do is leave the gym, hop on a plane, and head to connecticut. to paige. her paige.

but she doesn’t. she stays, practices hard, and forces herself to focus.

──────────── ౨ৎ ────────────

paige is finally in her dorm and flops down on her bed, the midday light creeping through the curtains in soft beams. her mind is still spinning, filled with a mix of exhaustion and something else—something a little more dangerous. she hasn’t stopped thinking about azzi, and it’s not just because of what happened the night before. it’s everything. the way they’re connected without meaning to be, the way azzi makes her feel things she’s not supposed to feel.

the door to her room creaks open, and her teammate, nika, steps inside, wearing an expression of concern that paige knows too well.

“you okay?” nika asks, her voice low, almost like she’s already figured out what’s going on.

paige doesn’t know how to explain herself, doesn’t know how to tell her friend that she can’t stop thinking about someone she should never even care about. she just shrugs. “yeah, just a little tired. a lot of stuff on my mind.”

nika looks at her for a beat, her eyes narrowing slightly. “i saw the way you were acting at breakfast this morning. you’ve been off for a while now. what’s going on with you and fudd?”

paige tenses. she didn’t think anyone had noticed—but of course nika would.

“it’s nothing. seriously. just… stuff with the game,” paige lies, her words not coming out as smoothly as she hoped.

nika doesn’t buy it. “uh-huh. i don’t know what happened, but you two have been different. don’t let this mess with your focus. we need you, paige. you know that, right?”

paige nods, but even as she says, “i know,” the words feel hollow.

what if this thing with azzi does mess with her focus? what if it messes with everything? she’s supposed to be a leader, supposed to lead her team to victory, but how can she do that when she’s losing herself in thoughts of azzi?

“thanks, nika,” paige says quietly, before turning away from her teammate. nika doesn’t say anything else. she just nods and walks out, leaving paige alone with the thoughts she doesn’t know how to sort through.

──────────── ౨ৎ ────────────

azzi can’t concentrate.

she’s in her dorm, getting ready for the team meeting before they head out for the next game. but all she can think about is the way they left things. how this—all of it—is too much.

“you’re letting this get in your head”, she tells herself, pacing back and forth. focus.

but focus doesn’t come. it never does when she’s thinking about paige.

the room feels too small, the walls too close. she feels like she can’t breathe, like the weight of this whole situation is bearing down on her chest.

there’s a knock at the door, and azzi pauses. “come in,” she calls.

the door opens, and aliyah steps inside, a knowing look on her face. “you’re still thinking about her, huh?”

azzi sighs, sitting down on the bed. “i don’t know how to stop.”

“you don’t have to stop. but you need to stop letting it take over your game,” aliyah says, her voice firm but not unkind.

“i know,” azzi mutters, running a hand through her hair. “but what happens when the feelings don’t go away?”

aliyah sits beside her, crossing her arms. “i can’t answer that for you. but i know this: you’re stronger than this. don’t let paige bueckers, or whatever’s going on between you two, take away your power.”

azzi glances at her friend. aliyah’s right, of course. but it doesn’t make it easier.

pov: paige

paige finally admits it to herself. the feelings are too strong to ignore. no matter how much she tries to bury them, no matter how much she wants to tell herself this was a one-time thing, something’s shifted.

she opens her phone, staring at azzi’s name on the screen. should i text her?

the words come too easily.

hey, i’ve been thinking a lot. maybe we could talk?

she hesitates before pressing send. it’s reckless. but the moment it leaves her hands, paige knows she can’t take it back. she’s already in too deep.

[glowettee]

✧・゜: self-discipline doesn't mean hating yourself into action :・゜✧:・゜✧

hey lovelies! ✧

i've been thinking about this a lot lately… how did we all collectively decide that being mean to ourselves was somehow the path to getting things done? like, who started this toxic rumor that self-discipline means internal screaming and punishment? because honestly? i spent years believing that the only way to accomplish anything was through this weird self-bullying technique and it was literally the least effective approach ever.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the wake-up call ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

last semester i hit a wall with my essay project. i had been doing that thing where you stare at your laptop, call yourself lazy in your head, promise to work for 8 straight hours to "make up for it," then get overwhelmed and watch netflix instead. but one night at like 2am (why do all realizations happen at 2am??) i wondered what would happen if i just… stopped being mean to myself about it?

what if self-discipline was actually about being the most understanding friend to yourself instead of the worst drill sergeant?

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ what actually works ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

start ridiculously small, i'm talking embarrassingly tiny steps. want to write that paper? commit to just opening the document and typing a single sentence. need to clean your space? just put away three things. the magic is that once you start, continuing feels so much easier.

create environments that make things easier, not harder. i rearranged my desk so everything i need is within reach and visible. stopped trying to work in my bed (even though it's so comfy) because my brain associates it with sleep and tiktok scrolling.

acknowledge the resistance instead of fighting it. when i feel that "i don't wanna" feeling, i literally say to myself "i hear you, and it makes sense you feel that way. what's one tiny piece we could do?" talking to myself like i'm my own bestie changed everything.

use curiosity instead of judgment. instead of "why am i so lazy?" (which never helps), try "i wonder what's making this hard for me right now?" sometimes the answer surprises you. maybe you're actually just hungry or need better lighting.

build in rest BEFORE you crash. i started scheduling actual breaks before i felt desperate for them, and somehow i get more done? it's like my brain knows it's not going to be held hostage forever.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the permission slip approach ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

my favorite technique lately has been what i call "permission slip productivity" where i literally write myself little notes giving permission to:

work imperfectly (first drafts can be messy!)

take breaks without guilt

change my approach if something isn't working

celebrate small progress instead of only the end result

acknowledge when something is genuinely difficult

there's something so powerful about physically writing yourself permission. it sounds silly but it works because it interrupts that mean inner voice that's been programmed into us.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the results speak for themselves ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

the wildest part? i actually get MORE done now that i've stopped the self-hate productivity method. turns out your brain works better when it's not being constantly criticized? who knew!

my essay (very big essay) got finished early. my room stays cleaner. i actually enjoy my study sessions now instead of dreading them. and most importantly, i don't feel that heavy cloud of shame following me around everywhere.

self-discipline isn't forcing yourself through misery, it's creating systems that work WITH your natural tendencies, not against them. it's about making things easier, not harder. it's about treating yourself like someone you actually care about.

and maybe the real glow-up isn't just checking things off your to-do list, but doing it without sacrificing your relationship with yourself in the process.

what about you? have you been trying to hate yourself into productivity? might be time for a gentler approach. you deserve that kindness from yourself. (and honestly? it just works better.)

xoxo, mindy 🤍

[daycourtofficial]

Blessed with love, cursed with folly

Pairing: Azriel x reader x Cassian x Nesta | WC: 3.5k | Warnings: mentions/concerns of infidelity

Summary: being mated to the Night Court’s shadowsinger is where the story should end. You have your happily ever after. Everything is fine - until the little, teeny tiny crush you had on the mated pair you live with begins roaring back to life.

Author’s note: basically idiots in love (my favorite!). I had initially planned this for last poly week, but it sat in my drafts rip. Want to thank everyone who gave me the push to finish this and also I am not editing this bc I’m lazy and am now obsessed with another fic. Also happy end to @polysjmweek !! Hope you had a great time 🫶🏻

“Nesta!”

You are sitting on the loveseat in the foyer of the House of Wind, Nesta on your right, the books you handed to each other open on your laps.

“What?” She asks, not looking up from her own book as she eats a handful of almonds.

“This is entirely smut!”

“No it’s not - they have a few conversations and they go to dinner.”

“Then have sex in the restaurant’s bathroom!”

You laugh at her, hitting her with the book. She watches you from the corner of her eye, noting that despite your protests, you’re still reading it as you talk to her.

And if your smell is anything to go off of, you’re enjoying it too.

You stretch your legs out, putting them over Nesta’s lap as you continue reading. You’re trying to figure out exactly how their bodies in the book are contorted - somehow he was behind her but kneeling in front of her too, when Nesta’s hand gently rubs up and down your calf.

Your breath hitches, but you try to keep reading. You were a mated female, for cauldron’s sake. Your little crush on Nesta should have gone away long ago. It was tiny, miniscule, microscopic even. Not even worth mentioning to Azriel.

But as you keep reading about the female in the book going down on her girlfriend, your thoughts stray more and more to Nesta’s hand on your calf.

How her fingers could trail up your leg, moving up your thigh, underneath your skirt-

Your breath hitches, not letting your thoughts stray too far. You try to focus back on your book, your eyes rereading the same paragraph over and over again. You think too hard about your breathing, trying to keep it even and steady as Nesta’s fingers make circles on your skin.

Cassian’s entrance is a welcomed distraction, his loud footsteps echoing through the hall jolting you, causing Nesta’s hand to clamp on your calf to keep it in place. Neither you nor Nesta move from your position, but you feel almost caught as Cassian walks into the room, as if he’ll look at the two of you and think the worst.

Just like you were doing moments ago.

He smiles as he sees you two, a big goofy thing that overtakes his face. “My girls!”

He walks by, quickly kissing Nesta on the cheek and rubbing the top of your head before heading off into the kitchen. He came back a moment later, a bowl of grapes in his hand before stopping in front of the loveseat you and Nesta took up.

“This won’t do,” he grunts, and you start to look up, wondering what he’s talking about, until he picks you up and places you gently in Nesta’s lap.

He sinks into the spot you were occupying, making a big show of settling in before popping a grape into his mouth. “Much better.”

Your heart is racing in your chest, sure that Nesta is moments away from pushing you away from her. You look over, expecting her ire, but she’s just reading her book.

Cassian focuses on his grapes, Nesta focuses on her book, so you try to calm your breathing and lean into Nesta, letting your head rest on her shoulder.

She wraps her arms around you to keep her book in front of her face, and Cassian grabs your ankles, draping your legs over his lap. You tap your foot lightly on Cassian’s thigh before picking your book back up, trying to focus on the people in the book rather than the two beneath you.

-

You head down to the kitchen in search of a quick snack. Your socked feet pad across the floor, searching through cabinets trying to remember where the good snacks were. All of Azriel and Cassian’s disgusting snacks littered the bottom shelves, packages and packages of dried vegetables, meats, and fruits. You wrinkle your nose just at the thought of the texture.

You look up each row of the shelf and your eyes catch on the white packaging of what you were looking for: the white box of heavenly cookies. You place your hands on the counter, about to climb up the shelves to reach it when someone presses up against you from behind, their arm reaching over your head for your cookies.

You spin around, finding Cassian’s chest in your eyeline, having to tilt your head back to look up at him. He smirks down at you, holding the package of cookies in his hand.

“Is this what you wanted?”

You pout up at him, trying for your best pitiful look. You have been craving these cookies all day and Cassian’s on the verge of getting hit if he doesn’t drop them soon enough.

“Give me a kiss.”

“What?” His terms confuse you, how openly he asks for it. Couldn’t Nesta or Azriel walk in and see the two of you?

“You have to pay for the cookies. Nothing comes for free.”

“Cassian, this is a magic house. Everything is free.”

He only taps his cheek, a smug look on his face. He even crouches forward a bit, getting closer to you. You sigh before stretching up, cradling his face to keep you steady. His jaw is scratchy as you hold it in place, standing up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

His skin is warm and it sends tingles down your spine to be so close to him, his brown eyes fully on you. You clear your throat, trying to break up some of the intimacy of the moment.

“Cookies, please.”

He opens the box, handing you exactly one cookie before starting to walk off with the box. He gives you an exaggerated wink, calling out over his shoulder, “you know where to find me for more.”

A lump of guilt sinks to your stomach, weighing you down to the spot.

-

A few days later, the four of you are heading off to the River House. Feyre and Rhys are hosting family dinner and they tasked you with ensuring Nesta and Cassian not only arrived on time but also fully dressed.

It is half an hour until you all need to leave. You’re moving through the house on their floor, heading to give them a half an hour warning. You think it’s the best way to ensure a prompt arrival - if you bother them every ten minutes, they’ll have to finish at some point.

You shiver at the thought.

You knock on their door, surprised to not hear anything on the other side of it. Odd.

Every day after training, the two usually spend a few hours tangled in their sheets together, loud enough for the whole house to hear. On several occasions you and Azriel have attempted to keep them up by being loud. That plan always backfires somehow - either they don’t care or they somehow become louder themselves.

“Nesta, Cassian. We have to go in thirty minutes.” You warn through the door but you’re still not sure anyone’s in there. You briefly consider walking in and chastising them to ensure their promptness, but decide against it.

You have to swallow down your feelings for them. Seeing them in any compromising positions won’t help any. Family dinners are manageable. Alone, one on one time? That’s where the problem starts.

Your gut churns with guilt, concern over Azriel taking root as you walk down the hall.

You make it to the den before stopping in the entryway. The balcony doors are open, letting a fresh breeze trail through the room. Cassian and Nesta stand in the middle of the room, dressed for the evening, in the middle of a conversation. Cassian is quick to look up at you, a smile stretching across his face.

“Ah, you’re here! You can settle our argument.”

Nesta rolls her eyes before sweeping her gaze up and down your body. How could the flick of one’s eyes have such an effect on you?

“It’s what I’m here for, Cass.”

“Good.” He nods approvingly, only standing about a few away from you. “We’re debating what color this room should be.”

Of all the things Cassian and Nesta fought about, this felt so random you had to let out a soft chuckle. They both look at you expectantly, waiting for a response.

“Um, well how does the house feel about that?” The two of them look at each other, slightly puzzled looks on their faces.

“The house?”

“Yes. It’s sentient, isn’t it?”

“I hadn’t considered asking…” Nesta trails off, looking around the room as if she’s seeing it for the first time.

“Okay.. well, anyway, we have to get going for family dinner.”

“What about Az?”

“Az is meeting us there.”

That was odd. Azriel never let you fly with anyone else. He’s too paranoid.

Or ‘overly cautious’ as he would put it.

“How am I getting there?”

“With me, of course.” Cassian flexes his arms, showboating his muscles. The movement’s playful, his face full of the cocky grin that makes him look irresistible.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. I can carry my girls to the continent if need be.”

His girls. Your face heats up, unable to contain how that made you feel. It was said with no hesitation and so casually. The first time he said it a week ago you thought it might have been a fluke.

Now you don’t want to analyze too hard. He cares about you - isn’t that enough for you?

You nod absentmindedly, locking your gaze on the floor to avoid looking at him. It’s then that you remember Azriel.

And you hate how long it took to remember him.

“You said Az will meet us there? Is he okay?” You stammer out, having lost any confidence in this conversation, all of it replaced with guilt.

“His meeting with Rhys is running long, figured he could just wait there for us instead.”

Shame swirls in your gut as you feel that connection between the two of you. Azriel’s side had been cut off all morning - a sure sign he’s working. He needs full concentration honed from years of dedication, but something about the bond distracts him, makes him slightly distracted.

But Azriel always made time for you. You’ve never flown with anyone who wasn’t him. When you first mated, Cassian enjoyed riling him up by acting like he was going to fly you somewhere, never following through.

Azriel should be here. He would be here.

Unless he knows you’re drooling over your roommates, unable to keep your thoughts straight around them. It’s just a crush. You’ll get over it. You have to.

You couldn’t lose Azriel over something like this.

“Ready to go?” You look up to find a much softer look on Cassian’s face, his eyes focusing on you.

“Mhmm.” You nod, shifting awkwardly on your feet. Cassian’s hand starts to reach out, to do what you’re not sure, but he hesitates before dropping it. He nods before turning to the balcony doors, opening his arms for you and Nesta to join him.

“It’ll be okay,” Nesta says, putting an arm around your shoulder. Her fingers rub into your skin, her voice soft as you step onto the balcony. “He’s a good flyer.”

“I’m a great flyer, Nes.”

You lean into Nesta’s touch involuntarily, smiling at Cassian’s rebuttal.

“You sure you can handle us both?”

The sun pours in from the balcony, casting Cassian’s face in shadow until he steps closer to you. His hands come down on your shoulders, one of them meeting Nesta’s hand still draped around you.

“I’ve got you. Always. I won’t let anything happen to either of you.” You nod, some of the fears kept just at bay enough for you to do this.

“Let’s go. We don’t want to be late.” At your words, Cassian quickly snatches the two of you in his arms before running for the balcony. You hide your face in his neck, scrambling to find something to hold onto. Your hand finds Nesta’s, and you grip it tight as Cassian launches into the sky, your shrieks causing him to go faster.

-

“Why hasn’t either of our bonds snapped for her yet?”

Azriel’s face softens at Nesta’s tone, feeling her frustration in his chest as she sits next to him on the couch. One of his wings stretches out behind her, cradling her gently.

“I don’t know,” he tugs at his hair, exhaling loudly. “It took a while for it to snap for her and I. I think she just.. needs time to adjust to changes.”

Cassian throws his hands up before dragging them down his face. “Adjust to changes? We’re in love with her, Azriel!”

“And you.” Nesta chimes in, rubbing his back lightly. “We don’t want to keep hiding it.”

“I know, I know. But she was a little slow warming up to the idea of our bond, can’t imagine how she’ll respond to two more.” Azriel had waited for the bond to snap for you before admitting it, only leading to a massive fight over the Mother making choices for you that you weren't ready for. It had been nearly disastrous and it took him weeks to coax you back into living in the House of Wind, even longer to convince you he didn’t want anything you weren’t giving freely. It was a time period that was better kept in the past.

“She’ll love it, but she needs time. She doesn’t adapt well to change, and you two know it. Ease her into it.”

Cassian sits down on the couch, elbows on knees, looking downtrodden. In a voice softer than Cassian was known for, he whispers, “what if she doesn’t want us, Az?”

Azriel pats the seat next to him, rubbing Cassian’s thigh once he sits down. Cassian leans into his shoulder, letting his weight rest on Azriel. He knows that Azriel’s and Nesta’s love are more than enough, but his heart yearns for you, the bonds in his chest feeling duller without you there on the other end. Each day without your acknowledgment of the bond felt endless.

“She does, though. I know you feel it. She feels something around the two of you.”

The three warriors squished together on a too-small couch, arms around each other, the ebb and flow of their mating bonds singing around them. They all breathe deeply at the proximity, enjoying Azriel’s presence with them.

It had been hard for Cassian and Nesta - the bond with you had snapped for them a few weeks ago, both too afraid to talk to either you or Azriel about it. In an act of annoyance, Azriel found them in the dining room one day, determined to find out why they were avoiding the both of you, when the bond snapped for the three of them.

They had come clean to Azriel that you were also their mate, and they decided after the shitshow that was you finding out about your mating with Azriel, they would approach things differently, try to get the bond to snap for you.

Cassian and Nesta had started doing things for you - cleaning up after you, taking you to dinner, bringing you flowers. None of it worked.

Cassian’s plan of him and Nesta sneaking into your bedchambers in the middle of the night to wake up with you was immediately rejected. He was hard pressed that he could convince you you had memory issues and the four of you have been happily mated for years.

Nesta and Azriel were quick to shoot that idea down.

So the current plan is to flirt. A lot.

The three were less than hopeful that it was working.

-

It had been a few days since that flight with Cassian and you had done the mature thing: hiding from everyone, only seeing Azriel when you slipped into bed at the end of the day, spending all of your time tucked away.

It’s not the best way to go about the situation, but you don’t know a better solution. Guilt eats at you for a few days until one afternoon your feet move through the house, whisking you to your bedchambers.

Azriel’s sitting on the bed, his shirt gone, his boots half toed off when you walk in. Training must have just ended, a slight musk coming off him that has you slightly needy.

You need to focus.

“Azriel, I have to talk to you.”

He straightens up, giving you his full attention.

“I-“ in your desperation to get her, to pour your heart out, you hadn’t figured out what you would say to him.

“I think- I think I might have feelings for Nesta and Cassian.”

You stare at him, waiting for the cold, hard stare you expect to find. The impassive look he gives everyone else, not portraying a single emotion. A deep, big laugh erupts from him instead. You step back, never having heard him be so vocal before.

“I’m being serious, Azriel. I feel awful.”

That sends him howling, his head tipping back so his laughter can reach the ceiling.

“Azriel! It’s not funny! Now, we can move out or try to figure out what to do next.”

He doesn’t hear you, only reaches out to rest his hands on your hips, his fingers digging in slightly when you try to pull back.

“Nesta! Cassian!” You jump into his lap, trying to shush his mouth with your hands. You felt embarrassed enough by the situation, you didn’t need him bringing the objects of your affection into this.

He laughs into your hands, delicately holding your wrists.

The door opens, the couple looking amused as they stand in the doorway.

“Did you invite us up here to watch?” Cassian’s joke causes your face to heat even more, that ache in between your legs becoming worse.

“Tell them what you told me,” Azriel whispers into your ear, his hands still holding your wrists.

“Azriel, it’s not funny. This is mean.”

His hands cradle your face, his eyes full of sincerity as he looks up at you. Something about him gives you the bravery to speak, not looking toward the pair in the doorway.

“I might have a crush on the two of you.”

Silence fills the room, the second lasting a lifetime until you hear a soft “thank the Mother” before a large body obstructs your view. Cassian’s body collides with yours, pushing you and Azriel down into the mattress. His weight is crushing as his arms wrap completely around you, reaching to Azriel’s back.

“What is happening?” You manage to get out between heaving breaths, Cassian’s wings making it hard to breathe. A softer hand caresses one of yours, Nesta’s cool skin sending shivers through your body.

“We’ve waited so long to hear you say that.”

You’re stunned into silence, no idea how to respond. Had they wanted you too? Leaning into her touch, Cassian picks up where she left off.

“Thought you’d never figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” You mumble into his shoulder.

“That the four of us are mates,” Azriel speaks into your ear, his voice low but just loud enough for all of you to hear. His words send some wave of recognition through you, your heart beating wildly at some deep realization.

He’s right. Wrapped around your heart is the mating bond you share with Azriel. Familiar, a deep part of you that became known to you years ago. But when you searched deep enough, you felt two other strings around it, buried amidst the cobwebs of Azriel’s tether to you.

You pluck softly on the strings, a song vibrating deep in your chest as you feel it lighten up your chest. Things made sense now.

It all made so much sense.

Why you couldn’t stop thinking about them. Why you felt slightly off balance. Why things had seemed only partway right.

Nesta and Cassian are also your mates.

“So I have.. three mates?” You ask, still not quite grasping the concept.

“Yes.” It all clicks into place. How you could be so attracted to fae who weren’t Azriel. How nonchalant they all seemed about living together. How happy everyone was no matter how much guilt had settled in your chest.

It feels right laying here with the three of them, even if Cassian is squishing you. The bonds in your chest swirl with delight and eagerness, but most of all content.

“We’re going to need a bigger bed.” The three around you laugh as Nesta falls into bed next to the giant bundle the three of you made. There are discussions to be had and things to figure out, arrangements to be made and questions that will come up.

But right now you bask in the laughter and how full your heart feels.

Divider by @tsunami-of-tears

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[checosbluespring]

you are my everything → sp11

sergio "checo" perez x wife!fem reader

genre: established relationship, hurt/comfort, shower sex

cw: 18+ MDNI, smut, p in v, slight angst, slight possessiveness, dirty talk, pls let me know if i am forgetting anything

word count: 1.6k

song: tommy & pamela - peso pluma

sidenote: hi everyone!! i have not uploded in so long but this has been in my drafts for a while so i though i would finally finish it up and post it. i miss checo so bad but i genuinly hope he is enjoying life right now, he deserves it and so much more. please let me know if y'all have any ideas or requests for a fic (I write for all drivers including indycar) and marvel/9-1-1, also not beta read. hope you all enjoy <3

♡♡♡♡

Sometimes you hated being married to an athlete, especially an athlete who risks their life every time they work. This was the second time this year alone you had witnessed your husband Sergio get in a really bad accident. The first was in Monaco and now in Baku. This crash terrified you. It happened out of nowhere and all of a sudden you see your husband crushed up against the wall. You feel a pit in your stomach start to form and tears start to well in your eyes. Everyone in the paddock is looking at you.

You feel a bit of relief when you see him jump out of the car, looking seemingly fine. You knew though that he would be pissed. You silently thank yourself for not letting your kids come to this race because they shouldn't have to see their dad hurt. Although you know that they are probably watching the race and that you should call and tell them their dad is okay.  You decide to try and find him before he is taken to the stewards and has a team meeting. 

Pushing through crowds of people you make it to the front of the garage and see Sergio, walking fast into RB’s hospitality. Part of you knows his emotions are high and he's angry so you want to leave him but you need to check on him. 

Just as you venture off to go find him, your phone dings and you see a text from him.

I'm fine Amor, we will be fine. Please go back to the hotel room. We are going to be here for a while and I don't want you just waiting. Go get dinner and call the kids. I'll be back as soon as everything is done. Te amo mucho mi reina.

You feel a bit disappointed as you read the text, but you know he's doing what's best for you and himself at the moment. All that matters is that he's okay and you are willing to back off until you see him later tonight. 

You catch a ride back to the hotel and make yourself comfortable. You call your kids and reassure them that their dad was okay and that he would call them as soon as possible. 

While you wait for your husband to make it back, you decide to take a shower and order some dinner for the both of you. It was incredibly hot at the race and a fresh shower was all you needed to feel a bit better after the emotionally draining day you've had. 

Time is passing by very slowly, you've already eaten, showered, watched a movie. You keep looking at the time on your phone, it reads 8:00, but it's been radio silence on your husband's end.

Another hour passes and you finally track his location to see where he is. You see that he's finally leaving the track and on the way back to the hotel. 

30 minutes pass before you hear the door unlock and open. You sit up and watch as your husband walks in and takes off his shoes. 

“Amor…” you speak, but are quickly cut off by Sergio saying “babe, I know you have been waiting all night for me, and I love you so much but can I please shower first and then we'll talk”. You nod your head and that's all he needs to start undressing and heading to the shower. He closes the door and you hear the water start. 

Knowing that he's so close but still so far away builds a fire in you. You need to talk to him, be close to him, feel him. You make the split decision to walk into the bathroom and confront him. Your plan is to just sit on the floor, and ask him questions that's all you need. 

As you walk in you see droplets of water run down his toned back, everything is steamy in the room, further adding to the flush on your cheeks. Seeing your husband naked shouldn't make you so hot and bothered but it does, the way his shoulders flex, his long legs, and broad back. 

Something snaps inside of you and you decide to take your clothes off, you’ve already showered but you needed this. Opening the door you slip in right behind him and hug his back. Instead of breaking away from the touch he embraces it, pulling you in closer.

“I’m sorry mi amor, I was just so upset and I didn’t want you to have to see that side of me, you or the kids” he says while turning to face you.

“I know baby, I know but you have to talk to me, let me know that you are okay, I was terrified that something happened” you respond.

He nods and says “ I know I’ll always keep you updated. you and the kids are my top priority always”

Satisfied with his response you place your head on his chest and hug his hips loosely. Peering up at him you ask “are you sore?”.

He nods “my back and neck are killing me, but nothing a good massage couldn’t fix” he winks down at you. You laugh at his response but feel a pit form in your stomach when he says he’s hurt. 

“Let me take care of you” you say as you turn him around and grab the shampoo to wash his hair. You silently thank the hotel for having a removable shower head so you can properly wash Sergio up. Taking your time you run your hands up and down his body, your final resting place being a firm grip on his beautiful cock. 

You have seen male genitalia in different forms but nothing ever compares to how pretty and satisfying your husband’s is. You grab some conditioner in your hand and slowly flick your wrist up his length, pulling a soft moan from his lips. “Fuck it’s been so long since you’ve had your hands on me”. You silently nod, it really had been too long. With you and him separated most of the season, you find yourself craving him more and more with each hour you are apart. 

“I’ve missed your cock so much, my fingers don’t compare to yours” you whisper into his neck. 

Your husband reaches down in between your legs and shoves two fingers in you simultaneously. It doesn’t hurt from how wet you are but, you know that you have to be tight because the last time you’ve had something in there was a couple of weeks ago when Sergio was able to come home for the weekend. 

“Mierda you are so tight, you need my cock in you don’t you?” 

You nod desperately, all you need is to feel him inside of you. Next thing you know Sergio is pulling his fingers out of you, placing a heated kiss on your lips and tightly gripping your hips to turn you around so that you're facing the glass wall of the shower and your ass is presented perfectly for him. 

“Fuck look at this big ass, it’s all mine right baby? It’s mine to fuck nobody else” you feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with each filthy word that comes out of him mouth. You aren’t necessarily into ass play but you do love how obsessed your husband is with yours. 

“Fuck me please Sergio, I want you so bad” 

Sergio spreads you open and slowly thrusts into you. The burn is undescribable. But also one of the best feelings ever. He grabs your hips like a vice, making sure to leave bruises for the following days. He slowly rocks into you, as you try to find any piece of dry surface to grab onto so you don’t slip. Moving your hips backwards you start to meet his thrusts.

“Fuck, it feels so good” you grit out through your teeth. 

Sergio grips a handful of your hair and pulls you flush against him. He attacks your neck leaving a trail of soft kisses and hard bites. 

You start to feel that familiar sensation in your pelvis, desperately wanting more you trail your hand down to your clit and start rubbing circles in hopes to get you across the finish line. 

Sergio sees this and pounds into you hard and fast. If he keeps up this pace you are gonna come in minutes, you look back at him and whisper “just like that”.

He understands and keeps going at that pace and suddenly you feel something snap inside you and you are cumming all over his cock. You lose feeling in your legs and your knees start to buckle, Sergio keeps you steady while still trusting in you. The overstimulation getting to be too much, your husband notices and says “too much baby?” You nod and he pulls out finishing the job with his hand around his cock. 

His hand grabs your hip to keep you in place and he shoots his load all over your ass, he cums with a quite fuck and leans his head over your shoulder while he catches his breath. 

After a few seconds of pure blissful silence, your husband speaks up “thank you amor, I truly don’t know how I got so lucky to have you as my wife. I love you and nothing will ever change that” you feel yourself getting choked up because it’s not common for Sergio to get sentimental like this but you turn to face him and hug him, whispering a quiet I love you. 

At the end of the day no matter how worried you are about his job, you would always support him, and honestly life couldn’t get better than this. 

[deathbxnny]

Hi! I really love your fic. Could you write oneshot reader x Viktor that reader has imposter syndrome and they blame themselves for little mistakes. How would Viktor comfort them?

The failed overachiever. | Viktor x Gn!Reader

I'm feeling a little better again healthwise, so I hope this is good, Anon! Thank you for your request and enjoy!<3

Content: Imposter syndrome, pre season 2 viktor, some angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, Reader is a genius, established romantic relationship, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns.

((Not proofread))

"Ah no, no, no! This just won't do!" You hiss out as you toss another paper filled with prototype scribbles in the trash. Working on your latest projects was already a painful drag, but it certainly didn't help that you just couldn't make up your mind. The equations you have come up with also seemed wrong. And the deadline to the showcasing was coming closer and closer!

Sleep was rare to find these days, mainly as you were stuck trying to chase a perfection you just simply never have found yet in your lifetime. An impossible feat you were unwilling to give up on no matter what. The many endless achievements that littered the walls of your laboratory were a clear statement to your deep desperation. You were practically renowned for your genius innovation and philosophies, but they never reached your mind. To you, they felt undeserving as in every one you could only see the flaws and mistakes you've made.

You couldn't escape the cycle of self hate you've trapped yourself in for years now... but that didn't mean that your dear boyfriend Viktor wasn't going to try and help you anyway.

Viktor narrowly dodged an incoming crumbled paper when he entered your laboratory late into the night. You hadn't left it in days now, and whilst it may have very well been hypocritical of him, he had come to bring you to bed. You used to do this often to him as well, way before the obsession for a flawless project had taken over you, but ever since you've been asked to present your latest projects at a inventors gala, things changed for the worst. He was already familiar with your rather self-destructive behaviors and was deeply concerned by them, another form of hypocrisy on his part, he supposed.

Tilting his head at your hunched over form, he carefully approached you, the sound of his cane making you hum weakly in acknowledgment. "Rough night?" He joked, although you found less amusement in it as you shook your head in disappointment. "I am simply enraged by everything! Every draft is worse than the last, and the deadline is in two weeks, and I have yet to finish a thing, and, and-" You let out a frustrated string of curses, before near swiping everything off your work desk. "I'm just... such a failure... nothing I do is good enough. Every mistake is a testament to how little I deserve my position as a scientist and professor."

Viktor frowned gently at your clear defeat, the tears in your eyes making his heart ache. He knew that feeling all too well. And he never wanted you to feel it, too. You were a genius beyond every measure. People followed your inventions like they were religion, always so eager for the latest news. Yet you never saw that part of your success. In fact, not an ounce of you believed you were successful by your own volition either. Every achievement and reward was just dumb luck to you.

"I don't think that's true." He started as he leaned down with great difficulty to grab some papers you had thrown away in rage. "And no one else does either. You're this generations genius. Everyone knows this... but you. And that's sad, my love." His words were soft and warm, the sweetness making you turn to look at him, whilst he sat down in a chair and flipped through your work intently like he always did. Patting his good leg, he invited you to sit in his lap, something that always made you nervous despite him making it clear that it didn't hurt him. Yet you indulged him this time without protest, desperate for some comfort.

He chuckled when you quickly hid your face in his neck, not wanting to embarrass yourself with the tears that were burning in your eyes. Pulling you close with his unoccupied hand, he pressed a kiss to your head and looked over your notes with a prideful glint in his eyes. "Your work moves and inspires thousands. Everyone knows of it and praises it like its gospel. You should be more kind to yourself... which may be hypocritical of me to say, but it's true nonetheless. Your work is perfection." "I don't think it is. The mistakes are so foolish that they are unforgivable." "Hardly." Leaning away, he made enough room to make you see the papers. "This is a flawless equation, and the design is impressive... may I watch you work on it? It would be an honor, my love." The man hummed, making you blink in surprise before you collected your ego and jumped up with a determined, yet flustered look on your face. "Well! If you really think that, then I suppose you can! But don't expect me to slow down for you!" You huffed out, making his smile widen. There you were. The prideful scholar he fell in love with so many years ago.

You began picking and setting things back up, your head turned away from him as you spoke. "... Thank you, by the way. I really needed to hear that." Viktor's eyes glowed with a warm, loving glow as he watched you, his heart full at watching you do what you loved the most.

"No need to thank me. I'll always be there for you."

[starcrossedslytherin]

Love Letters

Sebastian Sallow x Reader

WC: 1K

A/N: I don’t know how popular the Hogwarts legacy fandom is as of now because I’ve not been on tumblr, but I found this fic in my drafts(along with quite a few wips) and realized I never posted it so I thought I would feed the Sallow girlies a quick snack today.

Summary: Sebastian wants to write you a love letter to tell you about his feelings but it’s not going the way he hoped, even with Ominis’ help.

---

Ominis knows he shouldn’t be as amused as he is right now, but he can’t help it. It’s not often he gets to experience Sebastian embarrass himself so willingly.

Try as he does to suppress his chuckle, it slips out and Sebastian sighs, letting the several half written love notes spill onto the table in front of him.

“It’s not funny.” Sebastian practically pouts, glad his friend can’t see the expression on his face.

“I disagree.” Ominis taunts him with a grin, leaning back in his seat.

“I’ve been trying to write Y/N a note all afternoon! I just don’t understand why they sound so…”

“Awful?” Ominis jumps in. “Horrendous? Painfully cliche?”

“Oi, shut it.” Sebastian mutters, gently nudging Ominis’ foot under the table. He very much regrets asking his best friend for help now he knows how embarrassed he’d be.

He sighs before picking up all his papers, trying to find the best parts of them all. “Why don’t you read them again? Out loud, so I can hear.” Sebastian doesn’t see why Ominis asks him to do so, but he reads through the notes, pulling faces every time he gets to a rather cheesy part of the note.

When he finishes, he looks to Ominis, hoping he can give him any sort of feedback to fix this mess.

Ominis stays quiet for a moment, thinking Merlin only knows what until he says, “You make me wish I was deaf as well.”

Sebastian’s hands slap against the table as he gives up, annoyed with his inability to string together simple words to tell you how he feels and annoyed with Ominis’ lack of help. “Forget this.” Sebastian grumbles, crumpling up as many of the letters as he can.

Ominis sighs and puts his hand across the table, covering some of the papers and getting Sebastian to stop. “Just talk to her. Tell her how you feel.”

Sebastian pulls a face at the recommendation. “Tell her how I feel?” He repeats, starting to pace in his spot. “You mean, just walk up to her and tell her how beautiful I think she is? Or how any time she smiles at me, you, Anne or anything really, I can’t help but stare? How she is most likely the smartest and kindest person I have ever met? How anytime she’s in the room, I am most certain my heart will beat out of my chest with how fast she makes it? How each time I see her leave the castle on her little adventures, I fight myself on whether to go with because I need to know that she makes it back safe to me? To us? You think I should just walk right up to Y/N and tell I am absolutely in love with her?”

There was silence between the two boys after Sebastian’s speech and the brunette boy, exhausted mentally, falls in his seat in a slump. Ominis just sat there, gripping his wand tight in his hand as his lips gently pull up to the left. “Well,” he whispers, getting Sebastian’s attention, who frowns upon seeing his smirk, “I don’t think you have to worry about it anymore.”

Sebastian’s brows furrow and he was about to ask Ominis what he meant before the sound of a book clattering to the ground behind him has him whipping his hand around and he opens his eyes wide. There you were, frozen in your place as you struggle to keep more books from falling off the shelves.

“Sorry.” You mumble, trying to determine if you really were hearing what you think you were hearing. “And uh, sorry, I didn’t mean to- I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop.

Sebastian nods at your reassurance. “How much did you hear?”

You wave your hand in the air. “Oh, well just, uh, just… everything.”

Well, that’s not what he wanted.

He turned to glare at Ominis, but the boy slipped out when you and Sebastian were focused on each other.

You glance down at the paper strewn across the table, ready to dismiss them before seeing your name on one of them. “What is that?”

Sebastian sighs, debating whether he could really show you his mess of notes. He nods, letting you fall into the seat next to him as you pick through the papers. You barely got through the first sentence of the very first letter before your eyes shoot to Sebastian’s.

“You.. you wrote me letters?” There was a deep blush on his face and he’d gone silent, but he nods. You stare at him, feeling your own cheeks heat up quite a bit before you turn back and read, picking a few sentences of each discarded letter. Your favorite ones were the ones Sebastian had scratched over with his quill, obviously being embarrassed of having written them, but you enjoyed them.

From the first moment we met, I knew there was something extraordinary about you.

I know what love is because I know you.

My darling, you are my rock, my confident, my ally, my friend, and so much more.

“Bash…” you mumble, blinking repeatedly to keep your tears from spilling out.

“I couldn’t find the right words.” He whispers, picking up a few of the letters and holding them. “I had Ominis try to help me, but I don’t think he was particularly helpful.” You chuckle, imagining Ominis trying to help Sebastian.

Your laugh fades out as you put your hands on top of Sebastian’s and your eyes meet. Your stomach flutters with nerves and adoration. “I think you know the right words.”

Sebastian smiles at you, the corners of his mouth tugging up just enough that his eyes crinkle and he nods. “Y/N,” he begins, looking to his letters for strength but he knows he doesn’t need it. “Y/N, I love you. I’m in love with you. I want to be with you and I want to go on adventures with you and I want to smile with you and I want, I just want you.” His hand cups your cheek, bringing you closer to him as your eyes flutter close and he whispers, one last time before your lips meet, “I love you.”

•

[velvees-archive]

art cr: @cokiicookies on twitter

Tags: Love Confessions, Bratfeen, Art Student Feenie, Law Student Bratworth, Ace Attorney-typical cringefail, Canon Divergence

and many others!

HEAVILY inspired by @cokiicookies's bratfeen art on twitter! check out the full comic there!!!

"Hey...so...uh..." Phoenix coughs out, voice scratchy from his most recent line repetitions. It's a small mistake, not unsalvageable. All he has to do is stick to the script. Stick to the script. Stick... His eyes flick down to his note cards. He swears he’d printed them in his best penmanship, atop one of the library's extra premium desks, but everything is spinning and he feels faintly like he's going to throw up. "Did you uh," he starts, letters swirling in his eyes. "Did...you fall out of heaven...?" Genius prosecutor-in-training Miles Edgeworth regards him with a blank stare. Phoenix thinks now would be an opportune time for him to locate the nearest possible bridge and promptly jump off of it. - The joys and woes (mostly woes) of being in love, as told by BratFeen.

so i caved and wrote narumitsu. another huge thank you to @cokiicookies on twitter for allowing me to write an accompanying fic for their work. i attached some of the comic here in an attempt to entice you to look at their comic (well? are you enticed?!), but if you wanna see the full thing, please do give their art a like, a retweet, a comment, and all the love on twitter! fic screenshots below:

misc commentary/musings under the cut :)

the way i wrote feenie inner monologue and narration parallels my informal writing style, so writing his freak outs weren't challenging. consciously changing sentence structures/verbiage to be more or less extra, on the other hand, totally was.

the bulk of my pain came from writing fluff in the first place, stumbling through dialogue exchanges (as always), and attempting larry dialogue...all of which i honestly think i failed at pretty badly HAHA. who cares tho? it's my work!

bratfeen is one of my favorite narumitsu "eras" if you will. i've always wanted to write them. i didn't know the opportunity would come so soon (and at my expense considering i still have a zine fic to finalize for a diff fandom), but i took the shot. the full fic was written over the course of a day which i do not recommend anyone experience. i was on a writing hiatus for months and wrote 8k words as soon as i came back. do you see why i burnt out in the first place?

the easiest part about writing bratfeen is that none of the things i write are exaggerated for the purpose of carrying the plot forward. feenie believing that bratworth is better of a human being than everyone makes him out to be? sounds about right. feenie insisting to others that miles is the best thing since grilled cheese? his raging savior complex says that's likely to occur. feenie fumbling the bag because he thinks miles is the prettiest thing he's ever seen? yeah, 20 y/o feenie would! feenie shoving the asshole who talked shit abt miles? we saw the exact same thing with doug swallow (and we all know how that ended...). all of it is in line w his character. also miles being a try hard. that's a given.

i am hoping i can showcase more of my technical skill aka the angst writer in me with my next work, though i've been closely following fictober (haven't been publishing because, again, zine fic obligations) and have plenty of angsty fics stored in my drafts. i hope you enjoy my poor attempt at humor and fluff. may i muster the strength to finish the rest of my zine fic...please...

[madi-writes-things]

Making The Bed (Johnie Guilbert X Reader)

Summary:

Pushing away all the people that know me the best…

Word Count: 1,415

TW: Passing Out, ED, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Self Deprecation, Self Destructive Thoughts and Actions, Avoiding Foods, Parties, Drinking, Johnnie Being a Supportive and Good Boyfriend, platonic!Jake Webber

A/N: this has been in my drafts for like three months. Sorry if it seems rushed or anything, I fell asleep halfway through writing it and finished when I woke up. 🫶

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I stand in the bathroom, obsessively typing the calories from the meal I just ate into the calorie counter that I promised I wouldn’t redownload. I didn’t mean for it to get like this again, but here I am. It just started as a few missed snacks, which turned into meals, and it all snowballed into daily weigh-ins and days with no food. I stop by the mirror for a moment, and I regret it immediately… the second I see myself, I feel my stomach churn.

The worst part of this is the lying to the people close to me… I don’t push them away on purpose, it just makes it easier. On days where I don’t see Johnnie much, I’m able to go the whole day without eating. I know that he’ll find out eventually, but I can’t let it be now.

In an ironic way I find it funny how people on the internet find out what you struggle with, and do their best to make it worse. The only reason that I started skipping snacks, was because people started commenting on my weight gain. It’s not the people who praise me for looking healthier, the issue is the people who spew my worst fears in the comments.

I know in the back of my head, that I will lose everything I’ve worked for if I don’t stay skinny. Johnnie won’t want me, Jake won’t chose me over him, Tara won’t want someone like me as a friend, my fans will get tired of me once I’m not interesting to look at, my family wo-

I hear Johnnie lightly knock on the bathroom door, pulling me from my doom spiral. “you okay in there babe?”

Shit.

I quickly wipe my face off, leaving no trace of the tears that were spilled. “Yeah! Be out in just a second.” Sometimes I wonder if he knows, and he’s happy that I’m losing weight. No. He’s not like that.

“”“”“”“”“”

I think Jake knows…

He stared me down after making me lunch. I think he was trying to see if I actually ate it. He made pasta, and I cried in the bathroom for thirty minutes after leaving the table. I saw him staring at me anytime we were in the same room after that.

Now I’m climbing into his car with Johnnie and Tara, headed to an influencer party. I’m wearing a cute Tank + Cropped Hoodie with skeleton hand’s bedazzled on the tits, and a pair of high waisted jeans. I knew that going out was a bad idea, but I have to stay under Jake’s radar… if he says anything to Johnnie, I’m done for.

I offer to be designated driver when we pull up, there’s no way I’m drinking tonight. One shot of vodka is nearly 100 calories, and vodka is the lowest calorie alcohol I’ve found. Everyone agrees pretty easily.

“”“”“”“”“”

The party has been going on for hours, and all of my friends were pretty tipsy at this point. I decided to go sit with Tara a little bit ago, and now we’re talking about her latest hookup. “He was literally so pretty… and his dick was huge!” She nearly falls over laughing at my reaction. I tell her I’m going to grab a water from the cooler, and find the guys so we can head out.

The second I stand up, everything goes blurry for a second. Shit. I don’t think I’ve had anything to eat since Jake made me, and that was like three days ago. I reach out and steady myself on Tara’s shoulder, as she asks if I’m okay. I mutter a quick yes, as I start walking away. It’s takes a second for my eyes to focus again, but most people just seem to assume I’m drunk.

Once I find the guys, we head out. My head is pounding, and all I want is to get home and go straight to bed. Once we finally get to our room, Johnnie holds me tight in his arms as we drift to sleep.

“”“”“”“”“”

The party was two days ago, and while I know I shouldn’t, I took advantage of everyone’s hangovers. I still haven’t eaten or drank anything other than water. Every morning I wake up lighter than the day before, and I’m not risking gaining any weight at this point.

Today is different, Jake and Johnnie are wide awake. The guys have been filming all morning, and they asked me if I wanted to join them in a video… I obviously agreed. I’ve missed my boyfriend, and I doubt he’d notice anything while we’re out at target.

“”“”“”“”“”

We stopped at three different targets before finding one that would let us film, totaling about an hour and a half of driving around. We’ve been walking around this target for a while, but the lights are too bright and I can’t seem to make my brain work hard enough to figure out how long.

I’m standing in the board game isle when it happens. I see Johnnie’s face fall when he sees me. “Babe, are you okay? You look really pa…” I don’t even hear the full sentence before everything turns to static.

“”“”“”“”“”

Johnnie’s POV

It all happens so fast. One second we’re laughing at something stupid, the next second Y/N has gone completely silent. “Babe, are you okay? You look really pale.” Then it happens. I watch as her eyes roll back into her skull.

Shit.

I barely move fast enough to stop her from hitting her head on the ground. “Jake! Go get some juice and a granola bar.” He practically drops the camera before breaking into a sprint across the store.

nononono… how long have I missed this? It all starts clicking into place… the long bathroom breaks after meals, the pulling away, the way she offered to not drink. Jake returns within 30 seconds, and Y/N starts to stir in my arms.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Everything feels like static… I think my eyes are open, but I still can’t see anything. I reach up, and my hand graces something, it takes me a second to register that it’s my loving boyfriend. I mutter a quick apology, and I hear him talking to someone but it’s so muffled. I don’t know how long I lay there before I start to regain feeling in my body. I can’t tell if I’m shaking, but I feel like I’m having a seizure or something.

once I’m able to sit up on my own Johnnie hands me a juice box and a granola bar. I can see Jake sitting across the aisle, also sipping a juice box. They wait until I’m done with my snack before talking. “Baby, I need you to be honest… when is the last time you ate?”

Shitshitshitshit. “I had lunch with Jake.” I try to sound confident, but my voice is shaky. I see Johnnie look across the aisle at Jake, questioning whether I was telling the truth.

“Y/N… that was almost a week ago.” He looks at me with a nearly indecipherable expression, but I know it well. Pity. “Is that really the last time you ate?”

Seeing how worried my they are breaks me. I only allow myself to break down because we are in a fairly secluded area of the store. Johnnie pulls me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. We stay like that for a while before heading home.

“”“”“”“”“”

Three Months Later

That day was a massive wake up call. Johnnie let me take a nap when we got home, while I slept they assembled friends and family. When I woke up they held an intervention. They gave me the choice to Go to an inpatient treatment, or try to get better at home… I chose getting better at home, scared that nobody would wait for me.

That night we worked out a plan. Johnnie made me a meal plan full of foods that I felt safe eating, we threw out the bathroom scale, and we deleted the calorie counter. It wasn’t an overnight change, but I had amazing support from the people around me.

Johnnie is truly the man of my dreams. He never stops telling me how much he loves me, and reassuring me that he would never leave me. He is the reason I wake up in the morning, and I know that he will always be there.

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann @jnkvivi @stasiesturn

@h3arts4harry @slutforsturniolos

[everestgale]

"Drag me down into the deep end, leave me out to die"

[Drawing is very much inspired by this song, as you can see by the pose, and the quote is from it, too!]

This is my fan princess The Butterfly and her counterpart Voice of the Arrogant. I was going to share more of them once I actually finished writing their Chapter... but it's gonna be a while before then. So have this as a sort of preview :]

Chapter II: The Butterfly

The Butterfly is a no-knife counterpart to The Nightmare, where instead of choosing to lock her in the basement because you don't trust her or the Narrator, you do that because, instead, you believe that she is pathetic and weak and cannot possibly end the world. You can't possibly drench your hands in her blood, that would be beneath you! And so you leave her to languish alone in the basement...

...but you still watch over the basement door; light threads of suspicion seeping through. You doze off. And when you wake up, she somehow escapes her chains and the basement. She stands over you, blade in hand, raised directly over your chest. The cabin won't let her leave. Maybe if she kills you... maybe she will be free.

She kills you. Everything goes dark, and you die. And when you meet her again, she turns into someone fragile, someone who can be ruined at the lightest touch... when you meet her again...

"Please just kill me," she says.

She had tried to escape so desperately, but nothing she did seemed to work. She can't handle the hurt of trying to escape anymore, so now she sits in the basement and patiently awaits her death.

[The current draft of Chapter I that leads into The Butterfly is under the cut]

Full disclosure: I am not a writer by any means, so some lines from Hero/Narrator will likely be either awkward or out of character. Also, about half of the lines are just directly copied and slightly edited from the pre-Nightmare Chapter I. You've been warned :]

Chapter I: The Hero and the Princess

You can't seriously think she is going to end the world, right? I am not killing her. She is not worth the effort. [Leave her in the basement.]

Voice of the Hero

At least we aren’t going to kill her… maybe we could keep an eye on her instead?

The Narrator

Are you seriously just going to wash your hands of this? No one wins here if you do.

"Wait, where are you going? You can't just leave me here! NO!"

The Narrator

You turn your back to the Princess and make your way back to the stairs.

The Narrator

She rushes out to follow you, but the chain on her wrist keeps her just out of her reach.

“You'll… regret it. I swear you’ll regret it! I'll make you pay. You can't just leave me here… please...”

The Narrator

Her voice peters out as she gives the chain another tug.

Voice of the Hero

This feels... awful. Are you sure we shouldn’t… help her?

The Narrator

Help her? Didn't you hear her threaten you just now? No, we can’t have either of your nonsense. You were sent here to slay her. You can still grab the blade and get back down here…

(Explore) See? She can't even get out of these chains. How is she supposed to end the world? She couldn't even hurt a butterfly.

No, we are not doing either. She isn’t worth it.

Oh that's a relief! I was afraid I'd already committed to not slaying her.

…Maybe we should help her. [Turn back towards her.]

The Narrator

Just because she's in chains now, doesn't mean she will be forever. Eventually, she will escape and end the world.

No, we are not doing either. She isn’t worth it.

Oh that's a relief! I was afraid I'd already committed to not slaying her.

…Maybe we should help her. [Turn back towards her.]

The Narrator

You'll be the death of all of us, but fine. We'll do it your way.

The Narrator

You close the cabin door, locking it behind you.

Voice of the Hero

Okay. We can make this work.

The Narrator

You settle in against the far wall to watch the basement door.

The Narrator

It isn't long before you start to drift off, your eyelids heavy with fatigue. But sleep doesn't come. Instead, your rest is broken by a piercing, wailing voice calling out to you from the other side of the door.

“I know you’re there. Please let me out. I beg you. PLEASE.”

Voice of the Hero

That’s her… But how did she get out of her chains? Did she slip out of them?

The Narrator

I warned you about this, didn’t I? But of course, you didn’t listen.

Voice of the Hero

I feel so bad... Maybe we can just ignore her. Maybe the banging and wailing will stop if you just don't pay attention to it.

The Narrator

You put the Princess' cries out of your mind as best as you can and huddle up against the wall.

(Fade to black, background change)

The Narrator

You jolt awake in the middle of the night. The ruckus has stopped, and the door to the basement is ajar, its lock broken and the pristine blade is missing from the table.

Voice of the Hero

Where is she?

“...I hope this works. Please let it work.”

Voice of the Hero

…What does that mean?

The Narrator

Sigh. I can’t believe you let this happen.

The Narrator

The Princess kneels next to you on the cabin floor, the blade gleaming in her trembling hands right above your chest. She stares at you as her eyes twitch, and small tear droplets fall on your face.

The Narrator

Before you can react, she plunges it into your chest, ripping through your muscles and organs. As the steel tears through your flesh, you feel agonizing pain. But you aren’t dead yet.

“Damn it. DAMN IT.”

The Narrator

She raises the blade again, before repeatedly sinking it into your chest. It is torture. Every stab feels like it’s burning through your body. As she lifts the blade once more, she lets out a piercing, desperate cry.

“I JUST WANT TO LEAVE. LET ME OUT. PLEASE.”

The Narrator

The Princess gives you one final stab in the heart, as your lungs fill with blood. Her voice, once loud and desperate, peters out until it's barely a whisper.

“...I hope I can leave now. Please let me leave now.”

Voice of the Hero

Somehow being stabbed repeatedly isn’t even the worst part of this…

The Narrator

Are you serious right now? You are bleeding out on the cabin floor right now, and you say this isn’t the worst of it?

The Narrator

This was hopeless, wasn’t it? You two are absolutely delusional. I hope you are happy with your choices.

The Narrator

Everything goes dark, and you die.

[rafesslxt]

𝐔𝐏𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘𝐒 🪻🪷 🖋️

this will be where u can see how far I am with writings and what‘s up next on my plan for Harry Potter Characters. I also have a Hayden Christensen and Rafe Cameron one

some of my story‘s that are a more of a unique idea of mine, i won‘t share so it can‘t be stolen before I post it ☁️🧸

a status like 'not started' or 'barely started' don't mean it will take long. Most of the times I write a story in one or two sessions

current nr. of drafts: 44 ⎥smut: 🌶 fluff: ☁️ funny: ☀️

updated: 22 / July / 2024

Yule Ball ⎥m. riddle⎥☁️⎥status: almost finished 「 ✦ Mattheo and Tom want to take reader to the yule ball ✦ 」

Yule Ball ⎥t. nott⎥☁️⎥status: almost finished 「 ✦ Theo goes out of his way to ask you to be his date for the yule ball ✦ 」

Brother's best friend⎥m. riddle⎥🌶☁️☀️⎥status: at the beginning 「 ✦ This is a unique idea so I won't share hehe ✦ 」

Undercover⎥m. riddle⎥🌶☁️⎥status: half finished 「 ✦ This is a unique idea so I won't share hehe ✦ 」

reading⎥m. riddle⎥☁️☀️⎥status: not started 「 ✦ Mattheo finds out what kind of books you read in your free time✦ 」

Animagus⎥m. riddle⎥☁️☀️⎥status: barely started 「 ✦ you show Mattheo your Animagus form and he freaks out a little ✦ 」

Notice me⎥m. riddle x potter!sister⎥☁️☀️🌶⎥barely started 「 ✦ Harry try's everything to stop Mattheo from getting near to you✦ 」

Dear diary⎥m. riddle⎥☁️⎥half finished 「 ✦ This is a unique idea so I won't share hehe ✦ 」

Oh, Professor⎥professor! m. riddle⎥🌶⎥barely started 「 ✦ mmh let's just say it get's interesting✦ 」

Whirlpool⎥m. riddle⎥☁️🌶⎥barely started 「 ✦ It's your birthday and you throw a party✦ 」

Friends⎥m. riddle x malfoy! reader x t.nott⎥☁️🌧⎥status: not started 「 ✦ This is a unique idea so I won't share hehe ✦ 」

secret admirer⎥m. riddle⎥☁️⎥status: barely started 「 ✦ who wrote you all those letters?✦ 」

Brat⎥m. riddle x reader x t. nott⎥🌶⎥status: almost half finished 「 ✦ threesome hehe ✦ 」

Temptation⎥m. riddle⎥🌶⎥status: barely started 「 ✦ a little spicy bet between mattheo and his girlfriend y/n ✦ 」

Haunted⎥m. riddle⎥🌶☁️⎥status: barely started 「 ✦ this was requested - mattheo, reader and friends go through a haunted house ✦ 」

NSFW Heascanons⎥t. nott⎥🌶⎥status: almost finished

Smokin'⎥m. riddle⎥🌶⎥status: not started 「 ✦ this was requested - will be posted soon ✦ 」

Greedy ⎥mattheo, enzo & theo x reader⎥🌶⎥status: almost finished 「 ✦ you and your best friend talk about the famous slytherin boys, not knowing one of them is listening and now planning with his friends to make your theirs ✦ 」

Not her⎥m. riddle⎥☁️🌧⎥status: not started

Studio⎥Slytherin Boys⎥☁️⎥status: not started

arcānum | mattheo riddle | ☁️ | status: not started 「 ✦ Mattheo becomes obsessed with reader in a portrait in the halls of hogwarts. Soon enough he runs with the time to free you from your curse ✦ 」

pool date ⎥t. nott⎥🌶⎥status: half finished

happy birthday ⎥m. riddle⎥☁️⎥not started 「 ✦ the boys planned something special for your birthday and take you on a trip to france ✦ 」

Several Parts Story's:

Showerhead 3⎥m. riddle⎥🌶☁️⎥status: barely started [I'm sorry ok 💀😭] 「 ✦ are they really just fucking? or is it more? ✦ 」 here are Part 1 and Part 2

Lustpotion 2⎥m. riddle⎥🌶⎥status: barely started 「 ✦ oh how the tables have turned when Mattheo is the one who drinks the potion y/n made this time✦ 」 If you wanna read Part 1

[yourmomni]

A/n:HIII so I know I know “niyah where the hell have you been” “ Niyah what about my request” yes guys I know I’ve been gone and I’m back and staying. I had a lot going on and am finally ready to finish writing . The request are being done now but I wanted to give y’all something that’s been sitting in my draft as a welcome back gift from me to you🥰 enjoy

How you met them

Plus sized reader x Enhypen

Heeseung

Heeseung was the sweetest boyfriend you ever met

He was always on time to dates and he would even stop by your favorite flower shop and buy you flowers when ever you hanged out

NYou felt so loved and safe being with his especially when you told him about your insecurities

You weren't the lightest person when in came to weight and it was your biggest enemy when trying to find love

The side glance you would get when you ordered food at restaurants or the stares you received when working out

It always made you feel insecure

So when your schools smartest student asked you out one spring day after chorus practice you honestly thought it was a joke

sweat was dripping off of his forehead making his bangs wet. He was holding his knees trying to catch his breath " Please go out with me ... .tomorrow…night ... .oh my gosh I think I'm dying." He reached for the ground sitting down in front of you and you just stared at him in shock. “ I have water.” You blurted out fishing in your bookbag for your Sanrio covered water bottle. “ it's cold.” You kneeled down beside him, handing him the bottle which he gladly took to drink what was left in it. “ I tried to catch up with you earlier but you move really fast.” You smiled at him and hessung swear he thought the heavens opened up and shined down on you. “ what were you saying earlier?” He regained his words and asked you on a date which you happily said yes too.

Jay

You worked for his dad when he met you

It was one of those days where he decided to visit the office and see how everything was going when he saw you.

Standing at the printer wearing a white button up and a black pencil skirt curly hair stopping at your shoulders framing your face beautiful dark brown skin. Jay almost spit out his coffee when he looked at you .

Why hasn't he noticed you before? He would have noticed you.

You grabbed the papers and started walking back to your desk. Your shoes were killing you and you were so hungry you couldn't think straight.

“ Um excuse me.”

You looked up with a annoyed glance the emptiness in your stomach making you hungry a little. A man you never seen before was looking down at you through his long lashes. His hair was dyed a nice blonde and his jawline was nice.

“ Yes how can I help you?” He smiled.

“ When Is your break?” he glanced and the watch on his wrist then back up at me. “ In 10 minutes but I can help you with whatever you need right now before then” you breathed out hoping you didn't sound as irritated as you felt.

“ I was wondering if I can take you out for lunch, like right now?” you would be lying if you said you weren't shocked by the handsome man's request.” And why would you do that?” He shrugged.” Because I think you're pretty and I want to get to know you.” you huffed out a laugh raising your eyebrow. “ I flattered but I don't know you, and i have work to do. My boss is really strict when it comes to us not leaving early for break.”

Jay tilted his head. You had dimples that he didn't notice when you were standing in front of him at the printer and your replies make your features pop even more.

He reached his hand out and you took it. “Jay Park of park industries” Your eyes widened, You remember him now from the huge photo that was framed in your bosses office of his family.

“ My dad is your boss and soon I'll be your boss.” He kissed your hand and your rose from your chair.

“ How about that lunch.” He smiled

Jake

How you and jake met is different from the rest of them but you had a huge crush on the native Australian. Alexa play So Into You by Tamia because that's all that played in your head when you saw this man walking down the hall with his friends, the world was moving in slow motion and jake was the only thing that caught your eye. He was smiling talking to one of his friends fixing the circular glasses that framed his face well. His honey skin glistening ugh you were falling for him, but like who wouldn't.

That night you were at a party one of your friends invited you to attend insisting that you should go to quote on quote “ Get out of the house on a Friday night and shake sum ass for once.” And here you were wearing a skin tight black dress leaning on the wall like a loner with a cup that has been empty for the last 5 minutes watching your best friend suck faces with Park Sunghoon.

You were not having fun

The hair pins she shoved in your hair was stabbing you're scalp and you felt really exposed in the spaghetti strapped tight dress she put you in that showed off ever curve.

You were so stupid for coming.

But Jake thought you looked like a girl straight out of his mind. He couldn't get his eyes off of you since you walked through the door, asking his friends if they knew who you were.

“ I'm going to go talk to her.” He drink the rest of his liquid courage and headed off towards your way. You didn't seem to notice him as you were in your own world staring into your empty cup. “ Having fun?” Your eyes went wide when you seen him.

Jake Sim talking to you

“ I didn't mean to scare you.” He smiled “ I saw your cup empty and wanted to come over and ask you if you wanted another drink?”

“ oh” you breathed out still staring at the man” yeah I would love another drink” 1 drink turned into 5 and you and him spent the whole night together drunkenly talking about life and fantasizing the future. Jake accidently telling the real reason why he walked over to you and you telling him how you had a crush on him.And the rest was history. The next weeks were just you and him hanging out every day until he asked the big question that you excitedly said yes to.

Who would have thought you would be dating your crush.

Sunghoon

Sunghoon was a stone faced guy who never showed anyone any types of attention especially girls.

God you liked him so much

you passed him everyday on your way to your business class and it was hard to not stare at him, it not like he noticed you anyways and if he did you sure as hell wasn’t his type. Sunghoon was athletic and those types usually date people who are also athletic like them. You lose your breath on the stairs on the way to class everyday that was definitely not his type.

the rain that morning was especially hard, making it difficult to see your way to class. You were covering your head with a textbook while running trying not to be late. Why the hell wasn’t class canceled. “ Hey Wait.” You turned around to Sunghoon chasing after you. You heart stopped for a second, of course he would want to talk to you when you're soaking wet and your make up is probably dragging down your face. That thought made you turn back around and quickly head for the business building “ No no wait.”

You never ran so fast in your life just to get away from someone. You'd rather die then let him see you like this. You pulled on the building door and it didn’t budge “ Huh” you yanked on it again repeatedly. “ Oh god please don’t tell me” “ classes were canceled like 10 minutes ago” I side eyed him as he stood there holding his books as well “ I see you come this way everyday so I wanted to tell you.” I bit my bottom lip and nodded. “Thanks” he nodded but didn’t walk away like I thought he would.

I quickly glanced at him and he was staring at me studying my face. Could the world just open me up and swallow me right now please. “ I was on my way to the cafe do you want to come with me, anywhere is better than being out here” I slowly looked at him and it was like fireworks went off around us. He’s facial feature softened and the smirk that was on his face before was gone. “ You-you um wouldn’t mind going with me right”

He turned away from me and a blush covered his cheeks “ yeah that’s fine” he nodded quickly turning his back to me. “ I’ll lead then” he put his book over his head and ran into the rain I quickly followed him smiling to myself. Did I just make THEE Park Sunghoon blush?

Sunoo

You scrubbed the dog in front of you until it’s white fur was no longer the mucky brown it was before “ look buddy you look like yourself again all cute and cuddly” the big dog shook all over you as you blocked your face from the attack. You rinsed him off and sent him on his way to get his hair cut. “ Y/N” you turned and your boss was standing their with a boy beside her. He brightly smiles at you and you automatically smiled back at him. “ Y/n this is Sunoo he’s new and I would like if you could train him for today.” You nodded and she quickly walked away to go help someone else

“ Hello I’m sunoo please treat me well.” He beamed “ I’m Y/n it’s nice to meet you I guess your going to be helping was dogs today can you go grab a apron and then we can get to work” he nodded quickly putting the apron on and standing next to me. I explained how everything in the sink worked and how to correctly wash the dog.

Sunoo was the cutest guy you’ve ever seen, his cheeks grew every time he smiled and he talked to you so kindly. You let him do a dog by himself and he followed your directions properly until he lost control of the hose and sprayed it everywhere. You and him started screaming trying to gain control as you also got soaked from the water the dog stood in the corner watching everything unfold quietly and calmly. He finally turned it off and looked at you with shock all over his face “ I didn’t know that was gonna happen” you both broke out in fits of laughter, he helped you off the floor but you both slipped which ended with you on top of him. His faces turned red and so did yours you quickly got up and dust yourself off “ I’m gonna go get the mop” you ran to the closet and left a flustered Sunoo on the floor with his heart beating and a new crush.

Jungwon

Anger is what you felt in this moment.

Anger,Sadness, hatred that’s what you felt for these people. “ Look she can’t even fight back how pathetic” they laughed at you ridicule you everyday of your life just because how you looked and it was starting to get to much for you.

“ why do you even come back huh? Is it because you secretly love you getting talked about everyday or do you just like the attention” the girls laughed looking down at you. “ Isn’t she just pathetic” The boys beside them laughed in agreement. “ looking down at her like this makes me feel bad for her a little” you grabbed your books putting them back in your book bag so you can get away from these humans.

“ We didn’t say you can go fatso” he kicked the book bag out of my hand. “I’m having to much fun with you” the tears riled down your face and the laughed at you again.

You hated them no one ever protected you from them, they always bullied you and no one ever saved you, no one stood up for you.

You grabbed your book bag again and started collecting your books quickly you reached for one and a hand was already on it you looked up and a boy you never seen before grabbed it and started collecting your papers around you.

You froze. What’s going on?

“ She doesn’t need your help new kid get lost” the boy slapped the book out of the boys hand, he scoffed picking the book back up and grabbed my book bag stuffing everything in it. “ Are you deaf or just a dumbass?” The started laughing again but he didn’t pay them any attention grabbing a paper but the bully stepped on it

“ Leave it.” He said through gritted teeth, him and the boy stared at each other intensely “Move your foot” the girls gasped at the boys voice. The bully scoffed “ what did you just say” the boy raised his eyebrow “ I don’t ask things twice” my eyes widen at the situation. The bully lifted his foot up and the boy grabbed the paper stuffing it in my book bag “ Are you okay” he wiped the dirt from your face. You nodded he put the bag in your shoulder and helped you up off the ground.

“ I’ll walk you home” he sweetly smiled grabbing my hand gently as we walked away from the group but not before throwing a glare over his shoulder at them. “ Thank you” I whispered he turned back around and looked at me “ No problem I’ll walk you home from now on my name is Jungwon I just transferred here today” I smiled “ I’m Y/N” he smiled repeating your name “ Y/n a name almost as beautiful as the carrier” I blushed.

I guess I can’t say no one ever saved me because,

Yang Jungwon did

Niki

You sat at the table and watched your best friends battle over a air hockey game. “Y/n come on let’s have fun” you smiled “ okay I’ll get next game against winner” the arcade was full on a Friday night , the game machines were alive and colorful. People here with their friends or even on dates. You heard a group of boys getting rowdy by the basketball game and looked over. They were in a intense versus against each other. The ones currently going were apparently neck and neck. The buzzer sounded and the one on the left clapped his hands loudly smiling with a lollipop in his mouth. He started to turn towards the big group and they high-fives him as he smiled. The black zip up and chains on his neck made you not wanting to look away. You swore you could hear his bracelets jingle from where you were. His hood and hair was covering his eyes but what you could see he was a breath taking looking man.

“Y/n it’s your go” I turned towards my friends smiling and taking my respective place.

Niki high-fived Jake as he beat heeseung in the basketball game. “ Now you owe us a pizza” heeseung grumbled as he made his way to the front to order pizzas for the group. “ Hey man you see that girl over their” Jay swing his arm over my shoulder pulling my hood off so I could see better. He followed the oldest glance, a girl with brown curls playing air hockey with someone smiling and clapping as she landed on in the goal. “ She couldn’t keep her eyes off you man” Niki watched you dance with your arms up in victory smiling and laughing. “ And I guess you can’t keep your eyes off her huh” Niki didn’t want to look away from you scared you would disappear or another guy would try to make a move on you.

That wasn’t going to happen.

Heeseung came back with a receipt tapping Niki chest. “Hey play me again we can see who’s going to buy the drinks” “ Maybe another time hyung” Without a second thought he started making his way towards you, hopping over tables just to get to you scared someone would beat him to it.

“ I win again Mariah that’s 9 in a row” you laughed as your best friend just rolled her eyes at you. “ Anika you want to try to beat me” the girl shook her head recording you dancing. “ Oh come on I’m on fire so one has to try to beat the champion I promise I’ll go easy” “ I’d like to try” you turned around and was met with Mr.Basketball

“Oh” he smirked going on the other side of the table, Mariah quickly ran to sit by Anika as they ushered you on. “ well okay but I lied about the going easy part” he shrugged “ wouldn’t have it any other way” you played over and over somehow getting tie 5 to 5 “ okay next point is winner” I said sitting the puck Infront of me “ let’s make this interesting” Niki said getting ready “ If I win I get to take you out” you could hear your friends ohhing in the back “ Okay and if I win?” I asked him “ I won’t bother you for the rest of the night” you smiled “ okay then” you hit the puck with your cone and Niki hit it back it went on like that for awhile until Niki accidentally pushed it into his own goal you lifted your hands up in victory and did a little dance “ I win” he smiled at you

Cute

“ You win congrats” he held his hand out for you to shake and you took it “ I’ll see you around Y/n” he bit his lip as he walked away from you back to his friends. Your friends ran beside you “ are you seriously not going to go out with” she watched him sit at the booth and his friends clapped him on the shoulder. You walked again towards him

“Maybe next time man.” Jay said as he shook my shoulder I shrugged it off grabbing a drink from the middle drinking it. “ Yeah maybe she likes losers” they laughed and he mocked them back tired of their shenanigans he was no longer fun.

“Niki curly head 3 o’clock “ Jake said tapping his shoulder Niki lifted his head and saw you standing in front of him “ Hey” she smiled “ Hey” he heard his friends giggle and he glared at them making them stop. “ Um you never told me what time you were picking me up tomorrow” Niki raised his eye brow in confusion “ What do you mean.” “ Well for our date”

Niki face lit up and the smile he had was unmoving no one get wipe that off of him “ Oh yeah how does 5 sound?” You nodded smiling back “ Great see you then Niki” you waved and walked away. Niki couldn’t stop starting at you until everyone erupted with laughter and questions

“ Oh young love “

[halestrom]

oh my god PLEASE i need to hear about the hockey au

@iprefervillains you also asked about this! BUT

this is straight up my hockey au. as simple as that. basically san diego gets a whole new team as part of an expansion and there is DRAMA between jake and bradley ofc. and maybe spoilers for the whole story since i doubt ill ever finish it BUT the reason jake and bradley dont get along is they dated on the DL in jr's and when they both got drafted they made an agreement to come out. jake did before camp. bradley got terrified even with his family and didn't and they broke up and jake is salty about it and made it bradleys problem and he never backs down from anything so it gets worse even though bradley kinda wants to make up but jake wont let him in but now they're on the same teammmmm.

anyway here's the first part of it i wrote which i am happy about.

Beau rubbed a hand over his face as he leaned back in the chair, already knowing it was going to be a long day. They had just finished their first year and needed to do something to try and prove to the NHL that giving a team to San Diego had been the right choice over one of the other cities who had been trying to get one. He knew the bitching the rest of the league had been doing. Another California team, and another one in Southern California. But they had the population and money talked a lot more than passion did.

He grimaced as he thought about the stupid nickname that had instantly started circling when it had been announced. The Tri-Tip Rivalry.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, dropping his hand when he heard a chair pull out and lifted his head. Natasha “Phoenix” Trace was the new General Manager for the San Diego Daggers. She had been the leading scorer for the six years she had played professionally between the CWHL and the NWHL before retiring. She had an Olympic gold and silver medal, and multiple gold and silver medals from Worlds. She was a star in her own right, and that was before she had accepted the job as GM.

Beau knew she was a PR gimmick, something to get more fans into the arena, especially female fans, and from the way Trace had stared him down at their first meeting, she knew it as well. The Daggers had been the last place team the last three years since it’s inception, and the fans were few and far between. She was there to try and drum up support, especially in the middle of a rebuild. But she knew her stuff, Beau couldn’t deny that.

“Phoenix,” he said, inclining his head.

“Cyclone,” she replied, inclining her head as well. “Or do you refer Beau? Simpson?”

Beau snorted. Cyclone was an old nickname from when he had scored the Stanley Cup winning goal by doing a spin-o-rama around three players and then scoring with a backhand of the third spin. “Whatever works for you.”

“Beau it is. Call me Nat. I think Phoenix might be a little on the nose for what we’re trying to do.”

That made Beau chuckle. “Fair.”

Nat nodded. “Alright, walk me through what we have.”

“A brand new team,” Cyclone said, picking up the remote and clicking. “Through a combination of, honestly I’m going to go with luck or a deal with a devil for you to get what you got, we have nine new potential stars.”

“The old one wasn’t working,” Nat replied, watching him carefully. “And I didn’t make a deal with the Devil. Most just assumed I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing until I made it happen.”

Cyclone kept quiet at that. He had been one of the ones confused as he watched Nat make trades leading up to the deadline, and then as soon as the off season started she made more. Everything seeming at random until suddenly all the trades came to an end and they had nine new players, all rising stars in their own right and now all on the same team. There had been an outcry when she had traded away the first round draft pick for the next season, but the return had been worth it.

It had been stunning to go back and see what she had done, tracing the trades and deals and it was the sort of move she was known for on the ice.

“Right. First up. Goalies.”

Cyclone clicked a picture. “Robert Floyd, mostly goes by Bob. Went sixth over all and got bumped down to the AHL almost immediately where he’s a solid, if boring goalie. Finally made it to the NHL, carried his team to the finals and lost in triple OT on a rebound. Got the Venezia as well as the Jennings. He’s a hell of a goalie. But, boring.”

“Boring isn’t bad,” Nat said.

“No, especially when the other goalie you got is Billy Avalone, nickname Fritz on account of how spastic he looks every time he makes a save,” Cyclone said, clicking to the next picture. Cyclone had seen more than one meme of Fritz making a save intercut with videos of cat’s spazzing out. The similarities were…obvious, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Fritz is also the only goalie to score two goals in one game and get a shut out,” Nat reminded him.

“He’s also weak on the left side and all the other team knows that,” Cyclone replied. “But, in theory, the new D-pairs should take care of that.”

He clicked the remote and two photos appeared. “Mickey Garcia, drafted fourth over all and Ruben Fitch, fifth overall same year. They were a D-pair out at Boston and their plus minus record is still unbroken. They got split and both of them are playing decent, solidly second or third line, sometimes first depending on injuries but nothing special. Fitch has a bit of a temper and is known for going after anyone who hits his goalie, which is where he got the nickname Payback.”

“They’re excited to work together again, and are assuming they’ll be on the same line,” Nat said.

Cyclone nodded. “I saw the Instagram post. I’m not going to promise anything until I see them work together.”

“Fair.”

He clicked the pointer. “Logan Lee out of Yale, and Brigham Lennox out of Harvard. Both drafted 10th in subsequent years. I don’t know how this is going to work since the two of them got into a fight every time they were on the ice together. To the point their previous teams healthy scratched them each time they played against each other.”

“Think they can play together?”

“I think it’s a crap shoot so we’ll see what happens. I know Garcia and Fitch want to play together but if Lee and Lennox can’t get their shit together they may not have a choice.”

“Do you know what caused the rivalry?”

“Lee lost his edge and took out Harvard’s goalie, knocked him out for the season with a concussion. Lennox took offense and it ended up with a line brawl on the ice,” Cyclone explained. “Which is fine, except the next time they played, Lennox high hit Lee’s D-partner and knocked him out, starting another line brawl.”

“Was it on purpose?” Nat asked, head whipping around to look at Cyclone.

He waggled a hand. “Lennox is tall, so head high hits are something he needs to be aware of. People are split fifty-fifty. Looking at the replay he wasn’t coming up into the hit, which is what Yale was screaming about. Personally, I think it was an accident and it would’ve stayed as one, if not for the previous game.”

“Good,” Nat said, looking back at the screen. “We can work with that.”

“Fingers crossed,” Beau said, clicking the remote again. “Javy Machado, mostly know as Coyote on the account of he’s the only player most people can name from the Coyotes. Current holder of the Hart, Lady Byng and Ted Lindsey trophies. Doesn’t score a lot of goals but he’s a team player and has no issue getting assists. He’s a solid offensive player and doesn’t shy away from playing hard. He was the leader in everything for the Coyotes for the past three seasons and the fact that you managed to dig their claws out from him is a minor miracle.”

“Luck,” Nat said, her smile small and Cyclone didn’t want to know what she had bribed or threatened people with.

“Right. He’s a fantastic player, on a team that can never find their footing and I think he would have the makings to be a star player if you didn’t get these two morons,” Beau said, clicking to the next pair of images, the headache he could already feel forming as he stared at the photos.

“Jake Seresin, drafted first overall. Got the Calder, Art Ross, Rocket and the Conn Smythe his first year. Led his team to a Stanley cup victory, scored the most goals and points in the playoffs and got the game winning goals in 12 of the 23 games they played, and the game winning Stanley Cup goal. He’s also the only player to even come close to Gretzy’s goal record with seventy-three his first year,” Beau said. “On the ice, when he’s playing, he is the best, there’s a long list of players people liken him to. But off ice?”

Beau went silent and looked over at Nat who shrugged one shoulder. “Off ice rumors have said he’s hard to work with. Constantly criticizing, judging and will often get into arguments with coaches over the right thing to do. Most of his former team calls him Hangman on the account of the fact he’ll happily hang them out to dry in the press. His only redeeming quality is if he’s an ass to his teammates, from my understanding he’s twice as hard on himself. Or so I was told.”

“You were told?”

“His old Coach and I go way back,” Cyclone said before he sighed. “He’s also the only player in the NHL who is currently out, and he’s been targeted for it more than once. So, I’m willing to give him a little leeway until I see how he is in person.”

“He’s the only player in male pro sports who is out,” Nat corrected.

“He is. And he runs his mouth so the fact he doesn’t get into more fights has more to do with how hard he can hit back. Seresin doesn’t shy away from the physical aspects of the game, even if he prefers to score goals as a fuck you to the rest of the league.”

Beau looked back at the screen and nodded to the second photo. “Bradley Bradshaw. The only child of Nick “Goose” Bradshaw and Godson of Tom “Iceman” Kazansky and Pete “Maverick” Mitchell. He’s a legacy kid, raised in the Kazansky-Bradshaw-Mitchell along with all their friends. There’s photos of that kid ice skating before he could walk. He’s got his Dad’s level head, Maverick’s hands and Iceman’s eye for the game. Drafted first overall, got the Hart and Calder his first year. He’s also the current holder for the Selke. Solid player, not prone to antics like Maverick is, and doesn’t score big goals like Iceman and Goose. He’s amazing at the tip in, which is why most people call him Rooster because he’ll perch himself in front of the net and tip anything that comes his way in.”

“What do you think of him?” Nat asked.

“I think he’s a solid player, but if you’re looking for something to draw a crowd he’s not it. He’s not flashy, and aside from a couple of fights here and there he almost never takes a penalty.

“People would say that’s a good thing.”

Beau was silent for a moment. “Hockey is a physical sport, if you’re not taking penalties I’m wondering how much you’re actually playing. Even if he’s not actively doing something, bad calls happen and he rarely even gets those.”

“You think he’s playing because of his parents?”

“Fucked if I know. I don’t give a shit why he chose hockey. All I care about is that he gives me a hundred percent when he’s on the ice.”

“Fair. Now for the elephant.”

Beau sighed, dropping his head back and closing his eyes. “Seresin and Bradshaw have a rivalry that makes the Canadiens and Bruins look like a bunch of kids fighting in a sandbox. The two of them have never said one nice thing about the other, and Seresin doesn’t get into many fights, but the majority has been with Bradshaw. It’s a miracle the two of them were on different coasts and only played each other twice a year.”

Nat folded her hands and looked at him. “You think it’s because Seresin is gay?”

Beau shook his head. “Nah, Bradshaw doesn’t have an issue with that. He was the ring bearer at Iceman and Mavericks wedding.”

Nat raised an eyebrow. “Wasn’t that recently?”

“Yep,” Beau said. “He had that quote.”

“Right,” Nat said, looking down at her notes. “’He’s gay. Congratulations. So are my Uncles. But unlike them, he’s a dickhead.’”

“Right,” Beau said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And they’re on the same team.”

“Think it’s gonna work,” Nat asked, looking back at the screen.

Beau thought about it for a long moment before he shrugged. “With the way Coyote plays and Bradshaw plays the two of them could make a hell of the team. Coyote getting the puck, making the shot and Bradshaw tipping it in. Seresin is the wild card, which isn’t a bad thing. But I honestly don’t know how they’re going to play together and won’t know.”

“Camp starts soon.”

“It does. And we’re going to have all eyes on us with Seresin and Bradshaw on the same team. Half of them are expecting for them to get into a fight on ice even though they’re on the same team.”

“Can you get five for that?”

“No fucking clue.”

Silence fell for a second before Nat tapped her fingers against the table, the two of them looking at the pair of photos for a long moment. “Do you think this has potential?”

“It does. I just don’t know if it’ll happen, and if it does? It’s not going to easy. Kinda makes me wish I had asked for more money.”

“We’re paying you as much as we can, take it up with the NHL if you want more,” Nat replied before jerking her chin up at the photos. “Do you know how that rivalry started?”

Beau shrugged. “No one does. Hell, I had Bates ask Maverick about it and even Bradshaw’s family doesn’t know. All we know is that from the first time they were on the ice they had issues with each other. They didn’t go to the same college, they didn’t play together growing up, hell, they don’t even play the same position. Didn’t get drafted the same year, nothing. As far as the world is concerned, they never even met until that first game.”

The first game. Where they had dropped gloves five minutes into the first period and had gotten major penalties for fighting by the end of the first period. With both of them scoring two goals each in the same period. It had fueled a new rivalry and started a hundred rumors. Rumors and questions that Bradshaw and Seresin refused to acknowledge.

“Some people just don’t get along,” Beau said finally.

“We’ll they’re going to have to learn,” Nat said, voice steely.

Beau nodded. “Easier said than done. But I’ll do what I can.”

“I’ve talked to both of them, and they understand they need to get along. Understanding and doing are two entirely different things.”

“Think they can?” Beau asked.

“They can. I just hope they will.”

[toothpicktiger]

Army Painting vs Model Painting

When I (re)started my painting journey a little over a year ago at this point, I focused a lot on painting each and every model to meticulous detail. I am playing Battletech: Alpha Strike, as opposed to a game like 40k, so I thought that i can spend more time on each model since i only ever need to field around 5-10 of them at a time. Sure, it'd take me a while to get through them but i finished the 8 inner sphere mechs in the Alpha Strike Starter box within my first three months! Even with me slowly amassing a collection of gray minis calling my name, i was patient.

Everything changed when the fire nation attacked my entire collection was stolen out of the back of my car (more on that in a future post). After experiencing the generosity shown of my local community, I had to start repainting my newly rebuilt collection.

At first, I stuck to my old ways of painting just a few models to meticulous detail. I learned and refined techniques that enjoyed, and figured out how to quickly get through ones I enjoy less. Then, as I played more, ran more events, and developed the draft cube, I realized that it would really elevate my events and loaner models if they were all painted. And there's no way i'll get that completed in my lifetime at my current rate.

In only a couple weeks, i completed the equivalent of about 1 model a day. I know for some people, that seems really slow, but for me that's lightning quick. Especially considering i'm still learning how to airbrush, and using color theory and layering to try to achieve the blue that made me fall in love with this scheme.

You can see my first attempt on the panther was a bit too light of a purple, and the wolfhound is closer to the book example, but still a bit blue. While the latter is technically wrong, I really like how it looks. What else really matters? Plus it means I get to use purple primer and a purple wash, which is fun for me!

So, that's when I started to develop a method that is a balance of speed and quality. I realized I needed to learn how to become an army painter. Striking that balance of efficiency and quality and fun was the newest puzzle to tackle. I have physical hard evidence that i can paint to a high degree of quality. I don't need to prove that to anyone, let alone myself, anymore.

And here, with this scheme for a Free Rasalhauge Kavalleri Regiment from the Force Manual: Kurita book, I found a simple color scheme that uses some of my favorite colors and i can knock out quickly and to a high degree of quality on models that call for it.

Now, I think I've mostly transitioned into army painter mode for BattleTech. The most satisfying thing is completing chunks of models and making a dent into my goal of having enough painted minis that players in the events I host don't have to play with gray minis, if they're from my collection.

That being said, I am always trying to stay one step ahead of burnout. So mixing things up like Uncle Atom suggested in a recent Tabletop Minions video has been very helpful. Terrain, and large models like the Aurora Borealis DropShip from my previous post are great examples. I still get that itch to go deep on a project sometimes, and those are great outlets when there isn't a Battletech model I want to go deep on.

I do have an upcoming project in that vein that I'm pretty excited and nervous about. Stay tuned!

[bingebuddie]

Hi Everyone!

Happy Holidays to all!

It’s been a minute since I provided an update on here. I have occasionally been pushing update news on X/Twt, but I want to try to provide more frequent status updates in the future.

First things first…. An update on Sideways.

I shared two updates to Act 6 in September. Those updates were substantial, especially Chapter 5. This leads me to where I am now.

Chapter 7: Wes Begins—I thought I completed the final draft in August/September. I was utterly wrong. The original plan was to have part of Wes’s back story in Chapter 7 and then part in Chapter 10. While editing, I noticed several story chunks were missing, making the chapter difficult to read. I obviously know what the missing pieces are, but when I shared with my beta, they also pointed out some concerns with the missing pieces.

This meant I needed to overhaul the Chapter and reevaluate what went into Chapter 7 and what went into Chapter 10.

I have been fiddling with it since then. As it stands now, Chapter 7 has reached a length of roughly 72,000 words, and contains 27 flashbacks. Yeah… I know that is a lot for a single chapter of a fan fic... I wish I had allowed Wes Begins to have its own arc, but the reality is that it belongs where it is in the story.  

I am working very hard on finishing it up and polishing it for publication as soon as possible. Ideally, I wanted to have this arc completed before the end of the year, but that's just not possible.

Chapters 8 and 9 are complete, and barring any drastic editing changes I need to make to Chapter 7, they will be posted in quick succession.

Now to a bigger conundrum... Chapter 10.  When moving things around to fit where they belong, I had to decimate the original draft of chapter 10. It is going to be another big chapter, but not nearly as big as Wes Begins. (I hope)

Chapter 11 will be cruise shenanigans and fluff!

Chapter 12 will also be fun and fluffy. Family feels!

Chapter 13…. Yes, I had added a new chapter to the outline to give everything more room to breathe and no crunch and rush the cruise fun. Chapter 13 will be when the shit hits the fan… again. This chapter does end on cliffhangers. But it’s not focused on our boys. It is focused on El Paso.

This leads me to Arc 7 Strong…

I have said this before: This arc is emotionally heavy for Eddie. Eddie will need his friends and family like never before. A few people shine as support for Eddie in this Arc… Buck, Wes, Cole, Maddie, and Tyler… (insert evil smile) This chapter is inspired by Strong by Romy and Fred Again  

I want to finish Arc 6 and then wrap up some of the other fics I have left sitting in limbo for too long. Then I will fully dive into Act 7

Since I last updated here, I have pushed a few other fics out.

You're The First, The Last, My Everything

This is an 8x06 Coda… and may take on what should have happened after Eddie’s Risky business dance. It's fun and fluffy.

L'amour Toujours

This one was just self-indulgent. I needed a break from other works, and this was born. I wanted them to be stupid and silly. Have fun, sing and dance, and boom… Expect a lot of 90’s dance music!

There is a plot point here that will come back up in Sideways.

I Shall Take The Heart

As the members of the 118 slowly put their lives back together, Eddie takes a brave step in his relationship with Buck. There is only one thing missing, Christopher. As the youngest Diaz flies home, the 118 get word of an emergency landing at LAX…

Multi Chaptered Complete

Desperate, Devastated, and Destroyed Diaz

Arc 1 - With Every Heartbeat

Four simple words from Buck send Eddie into a spiral and start a chain of events that will change their relationship. They both need to work through things and their feelings. However, relationships, even one as strong as Buck and Eddie's, are never simple, especially when you hide parts of yourself from each other.

Multiple Chaptered… 6/8 Posted

Arc 2 Stargazing Planned for January

Buck POV… Eddie’s gone… Well, he’s not gone; he’s taking some time to himself after Christopher flees to El Paso. Buck… he’s not dealing with it well… Harsh words are exchanged, and Buck and Eddie’s lives are changed forever.

Arc 3 Something To Hold On To

Buck and Eddie POV’s … In the aftermath of a life-changing event, Buck and Eddie struggle to pick up the pieces of their lives… if only they had something to hold on to… each other.

Future Projects –

Second Star To The Right – Yes, that is a Peter Pan Reference

By The Light Of The Moon -  Season 8 Werewolf Eddie Fic… Teen Wolf Crossover

Future Shock

3 Part Series - Magic/BAMF/Mayhem/Found Family/Soul Mates/Redux/Ryan throws the timeline into a blender, and tada...

I have a lot of this plotted out… some chapters are written…, but I'm struggling to figure out what comes first. Do I show the future and then go back to the past and what led to it, or do I start in the past and then do the time jump…

As It Is

2030 and the 118 have been fractured since the lawsuit. When members of the team start to be picked off one by one, Hen, Chim, and Bobby have no one to turn to until friends and family return in their most desperate hour.

As It Was

Details what led to the fracturing of the 118. It is a retelling of Season 2 and part of Season 3.

As It Was Always Meant To Be

Now reunited, will the 118 be able to rally around each other, or will their painful past be too much to overcome?

This will be very large… I am unsure when I'll finish, but I have been spending time on it when I need a break from the other works.

Five By Five -

Buck and Eddie have been through a lot over the years. What if there was more to their relationship than anyone else knew about.  AKA how Buck and Eddie fell into each other's arms after each trauma. Secret Relationship Fic

Relationship Goals—

In an effort to rebuild their friendship after their recent relationships crash and burn, Buck and Eddie join a local hockey team along with some of Buck's old seal friends. This was pure fan service to myself and a way to get Buck, Eddie, Wes, and Cole to play hockey and not have to do it on Sideways. This currently sits around 60 pages.

Stolen -

A stolen kiss changes everything between Buck and Eddie... This angst fest is somehow incredibly soft... This is about 35 pages right now...

The Ties That Bind - Buck breakdown fic... On Hold

All I Want for Christmas— On Hold …

Think Scrooged vs. It's a Wonderful Life vs. 911. On Hold

A few one-shots floating around will probably get posted sooner rather than later.  

Some other things to come… at some point… if I ever get my shit together!

Amnesia Eddie Fic … Begin Again… Elements… Murder husbands… Once, Twice, Always… Presumed Deadie, Season 4 Redux, Slasher, Untitled End Of The World, Vampire AU, Horror AU…