#i blame (thank) steph

[jkvjimin]

PARK JIMIN ✖ black swan ↳ BANG BANG CON The Live | cr. namuspromised

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Ari, I'd love to know what drew you to Suguru!!

STEPH …… i wish i could tell u LMAO but i can’ttttt it’s basically a haze in my mind TvT i started watching jjk back innnn early 2021(??)….. and my fav was nanami actually. for a long while …. until i read the manga and it was just over forever . i don’t remember my reaction to him in the slightest LMAO one day he had just consumed my every waking thought,,,

i love everything about him so there’s nothing that drew me to him in particular. i don’t think :0 he is the blueprint for the ari type…. in a way……. caretaker, a liar (<- customer service smile king 🥹🫶 represent), foxcoded (but a cat person)(to me) deeply tragic and twisted but inherently kind and plagued by his own sincerity…. beautiful long dark hair 🙏…. maternal <- of course. there is nothing i don’t love . he’s my wife 🫶🫶🫶 his deterioration is one of jjk’s absolute best as far as character writing is concerned and i stand by that. i think it’s super super hard not to love him because not only does he have that depth to him, he’s !!!!! sooo pretty . so gentle but then also so casually cruel ; to me his greatest charm point is that he can be just as sweet as he can be twisted (… i say this a lot im sorry TT) it all just depends on which suguru you’re writing for, or who he’s interacting with . he takes care of his people and scorns everyone else. that kind of selfishness does crazy things to my brain …… anyway that’s why he’s so perfect as a muse too!!!! i rlly do think it says a lot that i’ll probably only write for him this year LMAO i never run out of sides of him to explore !!!!! :3c

what can i say. he just checks all my boxes all around. TvT …. i adoreeee gojo as well but he doesn’t have that same muse status and i am not as viscerally attracted to him as i am to suguru LMAO …… sorry gojo ……… but there’s no competition i love suguru so much he’s basically like a woman to me . i fear

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Hey CJ 👋 I hope you’re doing well in life.

I’m on the same page as you, when it comes to taking a step back from TWDG & the fandom. And, coming back to the games after sometime & seeing it in a different light. Some things that didn’t click with you back then, makes a bit more sense now.

Also, I’m curious.. what are thoughts on true colors? Steph & Ryan? 👀

Hello, my friend! 👋 Been a while! But yeah, I'm doing fine; a lot of the usual work with writing fic and blog posts in between.

Yeah it's funny to step away from a fandom you're so engrossed in for so long, like twdg was such a huge part of my life back in 2018-2020 with me running this blog, writing fic, and streaming. Now I'm just in a completely different headspace in general, and looking at the games now, they're still amazing but my reasonings are different. Also I talk about the comics a lot, which isn't something I would've guessed I'd be doing. If you go back to when they were announced, I made posts being like "yeeeeeah I dunno if I'm gonna read them :/" jokes on me. I read them multiple times, I need to make that useful haha.

As for LiS True Colors, I actually super loved it?? way more than I ever did the first LiS game?? though I think I might've loved it for the wrong reasons. I don't know, I haven't actually looked into what LiS fans thought of it compared to the other games, but for me it was a "perfect time, perfect place" game in the moment. To me the whole thing was nearly a perfect escapism game; the music is an A+, the entire town is gorgeous and covered in flowers and woods, Alex gets to live in a nice apartment for free [the true fantasy], there's a whole LARP campaign to play through, a flower festival where I've never been so conflicted on who to give a rose to, and overall just the coziest vibes. I swear, I spent most of the game just wandering around the town looking at all the flowers, it was great.

Like if Gabe didn't die and True Colors was just about Alex moving to this fantasy-like small town and working through her issues with the help of her powers, I would've been 100% on board. I didn't mind the mystery, though I totally guessed Jed would be the twist villain given the first episode immediately presents him as a hero who saved a bunch of people in the mines, I was like "Oh did he now... mmhmmm mmhmmm and he's Ryan's dad, oohhh he's gonna be this game's Jefferson-" except he was done better than Jefferson imo. He didn't turn into a cartoon character and his motivations behind the cover up were interesting. He didn't do it for the aesthetic like Jefferson did. And in the end I got everyone to side with me, except Charlotte because I told her to take the money so she wanted to speak out but couldn't, which was honestly fine with me like take their money, send Ethan to college, we'll stab Typhon just fine without your vocal support.

I liked most of the characters, except for Diane and Mac, though I reluctantly disliked Mac less by the end... Diane can suck an egg, though. I don't think I've ever wanted to throw a character out a window more than when Alex came back all bloodied with a bullet wound on her head as she exposed the truth and when she asks why no one's saying anything, Diane just goes, "We don't want to embarrass you" kjlkajdslkjalkjdl LADY DON'T PISS ME OFF

As for Ryan and Steph, I liked them both, trying to choose between them was absurdly difficult. It was like True Colors saw how easily I picked between Louis and Violet and took it as a challenge to create Ryan and Steph specifically to stump me. I mean, soft boy who loves nature, goes out of his way to be kind and helpful to those around him, has a slow build up to being emotionally available with someone he trusts, and has some daddy issues? A girl with pretty brown eyes who loves DnD and LARP, has a passion for music and will deflect with humor, who knows who she is and is eager to help those around her, and who isn't just another rehash of Chloe? They knew what they were doing; they dressed Steph up in as a witch after having Ryan act like a goof acting like enemy creatures, they were made for me.

Having done both routes, I do prefer Steph. I adore her and Alex together, but Alex and Ryan are super cute, too.

It's not a perfect game and there are issues in the writing but honestly, I don't care. I had a good time. I was engaged. I looked at every single flower and kissed a pretty girl so good that the world exploded. What a great game.

[casscainmainly]

#mainly referring to that issue where Barbara says to Cass “People will forget about me [as batgirl] and that’s ok”-#while essentially handing Cass the title as Batgirl.#Barbara sacrificed the mantle she so loved-the mantle she was angry and devastated and overjoyed and is/was a part of her-#because Barbara believed in Cass and her spirit more than hers. more than anyone’s.#Barbara gave Cass giant leather wings to take to the sky with. SHE LOVES HER SO SO MUCH SHSHDHSKSMSN#Barbara wanted Cass to experience the same joy and freedom she got out of being Batgirl. and in response Cass states-#-“I will never be as good as you” because Barbara IS batgirl still in spirit. And as far as Cass was concerned she will never be as good-#-she will never be as self sacrificing as Barbara no matter how many bullets Cass takes for people.

#AND THIS IS SUCH A BIG AREA OF CONFLICT BECAUSE BABS WANTS CASS TO BE HER OWN PERSON SO BAD#SHE WANTS TO LEARN WHAT CASS LOVES AND WHAT CASS SMILES AT SO SHE CAN MAKE CASS SMILE ALL THE TIME#SHE WANTS CASS TO BE MORE THAN BATGIRL BUT ALL CASS WANTS IS TO BE BATGIRL#WHICH IN TURN MAKES CASS WANT TO BE MORE LIKE BARBARA-OR ESSENTIALLY MORE UNLIKE HERSELF-#WHICH MAKES BABS INCREASINGLY MORE DESPERATE TO LEARN ABOUT AND LOVE AND SEPERATE HERSELF FROM CASS-#WHICH THEN MAKES CASS SO DEVASTATED BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE LIKE THE PERSON WHO ESSENTIALLY BIRTHED HER. AUAGHSHSJSBDN#yes. you understand.#anyways….idk being connected by mutual sacrifice and mutual love. THAT is the mother and daughter relationship that BG24 was getting at!!!!

^^^ These gorgeous gorgeous tags from OP!!!!

as much as I love batgirl 2024, I have to admit the lack of Barbara Gordon mentions in the whole series so far, especially with the first arc having such a big theme of motherhood/daughterhood and the things that comes with it, makes me soo sad. Barbara was the first person Cass actually considered as a mother! Barbara, although she wasn’t the best at it at first, truly did try to understand and love Cass unconditionally even when she was separated from the Bat mantle! And that panel where Cass overhears Barbara tell Dick that she doesn’t know how to really care for Cass could’ve been the perfect parallel to the whole “is a Mother just being connected by blood? No, Something more is owed/Being a daughter is more than being connected by blood” lines that Cass says in the last (current) issue because Barbara, though she did not physically bring Cass into this world, has sacrificed SO much for her, and return Cass gave so much back.

[mysticlael]

Bat inco quotes

Roy, in Jason’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night? Jason, knocking Roy off: WHAT THE HELL?! Roy: Ow— Jason: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor! Roy: I had a nightmare. Jason: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old? Roy: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there- Jason, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL! Roy: That is not what I meant— Jason: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground! Roy: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too. Jason: Yeah, okay- Roy: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night? Jason: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while. Roy, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed! Jason: I did not consent to this- Roy, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden! Jason, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s five-foot-eleven, he’s got red hair- Roy: Ask them if they have one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs. I’ll put it on the door next time we… do it. Jason: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me. Roy: Oh, maybe together we could— Jason: NO. Roy: Just to save water— Jason: No! You don’t even pay for the water! Roy: …Good point.

Steph: *Texts a selfie to the group chat* Hey besties!! Jason: *Texts a selfie clearly parodying Steph's* hey besties !!1! Steph: I literally hate you so much.

Dick, holding a box of Lunchables: Ah, I loved these when I was your age… fine dining. Damian: Fix yourself.

Tim: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Steph: 'Prettiest Smile' Dick: 'Nicest Personality' Jason: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Cass: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Steph: Today at 7 am, Tim poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Dick: I watched Tim brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. Damian: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

Damian, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day? Bruce: … Bruce: What’s in the box? Damian: What woul- Bruce: Damian, what’s in the box? Damian: I think you know.

Bruce: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Damian: Even better! Bruce: What the fuck did you- Damian: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

Tim: What are we gonna do?! Jason: Blame you?

*Dick comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Barbara’s bedroom.* Barbara: Dick, are you.. coming to bed? Dick: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend. Dick: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep* Barbara: ...

Roy: sapnu puaS. Kori: What?? Jason: What language is that? Roy: Turn your phone 180 degrees. *Roy was removed from the groupchat*

Kon, admiring a sleeping Tim: You’re so cute. Tim, sleepily: I could beat your ass. Kon, lovingly: I know.

Duke: How do those little boys on XBOX parties always know what slur to call you? Tim: They're empaths.

Steph: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Dick: No, that's not how you make cookies. Duke: FLOOR IT!! Jason: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Damian: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Steph: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Tim: DO IT! Bruce: NO-

Tim, at Kon: Would you like to stay for dinner? Bernard, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

Damian: What the fuck is with english teachers and being like; "write a story about a deep and personal memory that impacted your life". Ma'am, if I do that you're going to send me to the counselor's office.

[justsomestuffreally]

I think the Batkids reaction to a Bruce who isn't de-aged to 8 but rather 29 (pre-Jason death, post his adoption) would be fascinating. 

Their reaction would vary wildly:

Dick: Oh. Bruce is soft again. Bruce calls them ‘chum’ and ‘buddy’ and gives head pats for no reason. He still isn’t perfect, his communication skills are still a work in progress, but compared to his future self? Without actively dying Dick is hugged plenty. Bruce asks him to go to the zoo, unrelated to any case, just to spend time together. Dick is hit with more nostalgia and longing for the past than he knows what to do with.

Also notable: his dad is younger than him. That is something. Second, holy existential crisis Batman, his dad is younger than him and already one adult and one teenage kid??? Dick is not ready to feel this old yet. Third, Dick has absolutely no idea how Bruce managed to stay patient through his no-pants years. He is going to thank reason every day from now on that Damian wears full protection.

Jason: After his death and League he clung to an image of Bruce. One many tried to beat out of him, but he still kept it somewhere close to his heart, buried deep enough even he couldn’t see it. When he came back Bruce wasn’t like this idea of him. How stupid of him to believe the mind of a traumatized kid. Trying to create one good thing before the kid drew his last breath. Making up memories that never even existed.

But they did. Every smile and hug and even his words reflect the image tugged safely against his still-beating heart. His dad very clearly, very deeply loves him. Which is so much worse. Because he can understand why a Bruce, who never cared, didn’t kill the Joker. But he cares. So why the fuck did he not kill the Joker?

Tim: The reason he joined the family, the reason why he became Robin in the first place was because he saw a problem when Bruce started self-destructing and thought ‘Someone needs to fix that!’. Therefore he went and collected Dick, who didn’t seem keen on fixing it. So, the job fell to him to fix it.

He thought he did a good job, he thought he fixed the problem. Except now he sees who Bruce was, and he knows he failed. Their Bruce is less soft, less affectionate, less like he was before. Batman needs a Robin and Tim didn’t manage to be good enough of one to save him. 

[Or: Tim has a guilt complex a hundred miles wide and blames himself for things that aren’t his fault part 52]

Steph: Jason and she are very similar. Both come from the Narrows, both have a mother addicted to drugs and a shitty father. The differences start when Steph keeps waiting on the roof of their apartment for Batman to whisk her away, while Jason tries to steal the tires of the Batmobile and is taken in.

When Steph started out as Spoiler Bruce tried to keep her off the field, and obviously this one would too (even if he would probably be less paranoid about it), but she knows this Bruce would have also taken her in. This Bruce would be the father she always wished for when she sat on their roof and couldn’t see any stars. 

And she didn’t get to have this because Jason went ahead and died. (Of course, she knows she isn’t fair to the guy. Dying isn’t fun… And she knows the only reason she lived is because he died. When Batman rescued her from Black Mask she was in such terrible shape that Leslie managed to convince the World’s Greatest Detective that she died. If Jason hadn’t died Bruce wouldn’t have been as paranoid, wouldn’t have noticed her missing so soon, wouldn’t have been as urgent in his response. Would have been just a minute slower, a minute which would have killed her. Just as it had Jason.)

For her, this Bruce is a distorted mirror into a past which never was. 

Cass: This Bruce and B are not the same person. They don’t move the same. In a fight, this Bruce is younger, faster, stronger. Doesn’t compensate for a previously broken spine. Less experienced. Still one of the most experienced she knows, but less. 

He still moves differently, outside a fight, less pain. More likely to engage in physical affection, more likely to hug and pat and talk. He talks more than B. B knows what she means without words. This Bruce doesn’t.

She likes this Bruce, warmth, and softness. But not as much as B. He knows what she means, when she wants a hug, when she tells him ‘I love you’ without words. B doesn’t need words. This Bruce doesn’t know her, doesn’t communicate like her. She wants B back.

Damian: At first, when this version of his father seemed uncanny and oddly familiar, he assumed it to be due to the stories of his mother. After all, she always told him tales about his father. He simply did not have the frame of reference to understand the kindness she spoke of. Clearly, the clash between the ideals of the League and the ones of his father causes these feelings, just as they did when he first entered the manor.

He presumed this to be the case until one day on patrol Batman laid a hand on his shoulder and told him he did a good job after no particularly impressive fight and he nearly called him ‘Grayson’. Because the stories of his mother may have painted the picture of this version of his father, however, it wasn’t what made it familiar; no, he knew this kindness. These hugs and compliments one would bestow upon a child. Compliments which, despite the indignity, still warm him. Because Grayson learned how to be a… caregiver from his father.

His father used to be like Grayson, used to be until his grief hardened him. Damian could have had this. Damian could have a brother and father who would- But he doesn’t because of Todd. He loathes Todd. Loathes him for ruining the life he could have had.

Why did he die anyway? Damian certainly wouldn’t have a problem escaping bonds created by the Joker, Damian would have disarmed the bomb in time, Damian would have never thrown this life away like he did.

[Or: Damian is a child who was raised by assassins and has unreasonable standards for fighting abilities and also is a child who needs to focus his rage on someone.]

Duke: He was neither there before Jason died nor in the aftermath [according to my math he was around 4 when Jason died] he joined the family when Jason was already back for 4 years or so. He mostly skipped all the drama. For him, Bruce is the way Bruce is because he is Bruce. It’s weird to see him so different, to see how grief shaped parts of Bruce which Duke assumed were just Bruce things.

He’s glad this Bruce is brighter, or not because it just highlights how much that light will dim? Who knows, certainly not him. 

What he does know is that, with their Bruce, he has a distance which, with his parents still alive, he appreciates. With this Bruce, he can understand why Dick struggled so much whether he wants to be his ward or son, how he doesn’t want to replace his parents but still have this Bruce as a dad. It definitely explained the ted talk Dick tried to give him after Bruce officially took him in as a ward.

He likes this Bruce well enough, but he doesn’t necessarily want him to stay this way. Yes, their Bruce is less happy, less open but he did heal, he did grow. Duke met a Bruce who tried to learn from his mistakes, learned to communicate better, and learned when to pull and when to push. For Tim, Damian, Dick, and certainly Jason there is too much baggage, too much history in their relationships, it’s difficult for them to ever move past- anything really.

Sure, when Dick and Bruce are on the same page they are essentially invincible but then the past catches up again and they don’t talk to each other for months. And honestly? Apart from Cass, Duke’s pretty sure he has one of the best relationships with Bruce simply because he got to know him at a better time.

Duke doesn’t mind this Bruce. But their Bruce loved Jason, cared for him so deeply the scars still show to this day. And he still chooses to open up again even if just a bit by bit. Even if just Duke can see it. He is used to being the only one that can see.

And maybe knowing this care extends to him, this love even grief can’t shake? Maybe it makes him feel just a little bit safer, a little bit warmer, a little bit brighter.

[redsray]

Batkids playing any kind of board game but make it extra competitive because whoever wins gets to choose what Bruce wears for the next gala.

Bruce, in a sparkly top and skinny jeans:

Reporter: Ah, who chose your outfit tonight, Brucie?

Bruce: That'd be my eldest, dear!

Dick, behind him, full into the gala persona: Flattering, isn't it? He should wear it more often, don't you think, sweetheart?

Reporter, flushed: Oh, absolutely.

Bruce (to Dick): Get a new fashion style. Please.

Dick: Never.

Reporter: Who would be responsible for your wardrobe tonight, Brucie? It's certainly a statement.

Bruce, head to toe in a pink suit and Hello Kitty accessories: Gorgeous, isn't it? All the credit will have to be given to Jason, though, I'm afraid.

Reporter: Your second son, if I'm not mistaken?

Bruce: The very one.

Jason from across the gala hall, trying to not cough up his drink with laughter:

Tim, next to him: He's pulling it off, though. Little spins and everything.

Jason: Still ridiculous. That's Batman right there, Timbo.

Tim, snickering: The Dark Knight, huh?

Bruce, dressed in a collared white shirt, sweater and skirt, looking like he just came out of a light academia novel:

Reporter: Wow, Brucie. Who do we thank for that wonderful outfit choice?

Bruce: Ah, flattering, is it not? Tim's choices when it comes to fashion are wonderful, if not a bit simple.

Tim, nodding from behind him: Only the finest satin skirts. Charming, right?

Tim, to Bruce: Don't call my style simple, Mr. all I wear is black.

[Jason handing Dick $10 in the background because Bruce does, in fact, pull off a skirt.]

Reporter: Oh lord, what a gown! Who influenced your fashion choice tonight, Brucie?

Bruce, in a long green and black gown with gold accessories, nothing short of royal-looking: I fear only one person I know could choose an outfit as gorgeous as this one.

Damian, proudly next to him, in a smaller, matching gown: Only the most exquisite. You lot in this flimsy country cannot compare.

Bruce: Yes, Damian has a fine taste in fashion. He gets it from his mother.

Damian, quieter: Well certainly not from you.

Bruce, dressed in an elegant white dress shirt, long black pants and a corset with red accessories, a fan in his right hand:

Reporter: What an entrance! Anyone to give credit to for the wardrobe, Brucie?

Bruce: That'd be my daughter, she certainly shines with her choice of clothing.

Cass, grinning with a matching fan: Very pretty.

Bruce: Thank you, Cass.

Reporter: Woah, that's certainly new. Any reason for this choice of clothes, Brucie, dear?

Bruce, in a snapback cap, loose jeans and a band t-shirt, complete with rings and a chain around his neck: Well, all of my children are creative, but... Duke might just take the cake for this one, love.

Duke, losing his absolute shit next to Jason, Dick and Tim: You look great, B.

Steph doesn't usually go to galas, but she participates in the game nevertheless. If she wins, god help Bruce, because it's a gamble with her. He either ends up wearing a gorgeous outfit with eccentric and trend-setting accessories or literal checkered pyjamas. Worst yet, he has to say he picked it himself, since he can't directly blame Steph.

[lightsoutmatthews]

Your recents have been sooooo good! Can you do an Auston fic about whatever you want, but a little angsty and a little fluff? Thanks love!💗

Thank you so much for the compliments so, you ask and you shall receive 🤭 Usually I wouldn´t have had time to write today because of class but half of them got cancelled so I got right on it and I hope you like it 😁

6-8 Weeks – Auston Matthews

It was supposed to be a regular home game in the middle of the season. Nothing huge on the line, no bad blood with the other team. Just another night, another game in the row of many. You weren’t even watching that closely, scrolling through your phone, half listening to the conversation Steph Marner and Aryne Taraves were having next to you when you heard the thud. Not from the broadcast but from the way the crowd sucked in air, the entire arena all at once.

The camera cut to him on the ice immediately. Auston wasn’t getting up.

You knew immediately that it wasn’t just a bump or a trip. He wasn’t dramatic like that and certainly wouldn’t risk getting a penalty for it. If he was down and not getting up, it was bad.

You barely heard the announcers say he was helped off when you were already grabbing your stuff and rushed out goodbyes to the other girls.

By the time you got to the locker room entrance, the game was still going and that meant they wouldn’t let you in. That left you pacing in the hallway until one of the trainers came out and gave you a nod. The look in his eyes said everything.

You guessed that it was a sprain in his knee. He told you it wasn’t a full tear, and thank God for that, but it was bad enough.

“He´s still in the exam room,” the trainer said gently, the tone in his voice telling you all you needed to know about Austons mood. “Go slow.”

Auston looked like hell when you walked in. Hair matted down with sweat, his jersey halfway off and his right leg popped on a bench with a wrap already around the knee.

He didn’t look at you when you closed the door, but he spoke as soon as you did. “I´m fine,” rushed out of his mouth before you could say anything or even get close enough to touch him.

“You´re not, Auston.”

“I will be,” he changed.

You walked over and sat next to him, gently placing a hand on his arm. He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t lean into your touch either. You didn’t blame him.

“I´m not mad. I´m just…” he stopped there, and you waited, but he didn’t finish.

He didn’t need to; you could feel it off him. The frustration and the exhaustion, the missing weeks that would come with this injury.

Your heart ached for him. Hockey was everything to him and missing time was the last thing he wanted. You knew he didn’t want to let the team down even though it was not his fault that he was missing games.

“I´m sorry,” you said helplessly. You knew it wouldn’t make it better, but you had to try. When he didn’t say anything, you moved closer and carefully rested your head on his shoulder. An attempt of giving him a little comfort.

He didn’t move for a second but then, slowly, he leaned into you, resting his head on yours.

-------------------

The next day a doctor confirmed the injury. High-grade MCL sprain. Six to eight weeks on the sidelines and that was if everything was healing quickly, he was possibly facing missing even more time.

You had sat next to him in the office. He didn’t ask you to come but since he couldn’t drive you had to. When his head dropped after getting his diagnosis you held his hand under the table, an attempt of saving him from drowning.

Then, he didn’t say much on the ride home. You offered to pick up food, he said no, he wasn’t hungry. You suggested calling his family, letting them know what was going on, he said not yet. You called Ema later that day anyways, knowing she was worried sick about her son.

You offered to stay with him and cancel on having pedicures and dinner with the other wives and girlfriends, that time he didn’t answer at all, so you left.

They told you it happens. That players completely shut down after an injury. They also said that it would get better, you hoped that would happen sooner rather than later.

When you returned home, he laid on the couch, one arm slung over his eyes like he wanted to disappear or like he didn’t want to see anyone or anything.

You brought him water and a plate of the food you picked up on your way home. Then left again and grabbed a fresh icepack.

You sat on the kitchen island until he went to bed, just in case he needed something but at the same time you were giving him space. You hated every second of it but chose to trust the girls and believe that it would get better.

What you didn’t expect was that the distance stayed present for days. He had always been a little quieter and distant when things went bad, but this was different.

He wasn’t just down because of the injury; he was shutting down from everything.

The first few days after it all happened were spent in near silence. He didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want to go outside, not even with Felix, and he didn’t want to answer, no calls, no messages, not even to you when you were speaking right in front of him.

You heard his phone buzz on the couch all the time, teammates were checking in, his family wanted to know if he was okay, he let everything go unanswered.

It went as far as you getting messages from them, telling at least half of the Leafs players that he was doing okay under the circumstances. You texted his sisters and parents what was going on. Ema offered to fly in to help you deal with it. You declined, she understood.

You tried not to take it personally when he didn’t answer you or made no attempt to say anything at all.

It wasn’t like he was cold, or mean, but he was somewhere else.

You wished he would talk to you in any way. Screaming about how unfair it all was would be better than the silence that was now hanging heavy in the living room.

The days went on like that.

You made breakfast and asked how he slept. He gave one-word answers.

You asked if he wanted to sit on the balcony, get some fresh air after being inside for a while, he said no.

You put on his favorite movie, the one hated, just to get him to laugh but it was like he was staring straight through the TV, not noticing what was happening on the screen.

It hurt. Not just because he was shutting you out, not really, it was that he didn’t trust you with the parts of his life that sucked.

All you wanted from him was that he opened out about how he felt, what he was thinking. The silence was defeating. You weren’t sure how long you could take it anymore.

At the same time, you knew that he had to come to terms with it himself before he would be ready to open up to you and as hard as it was to live in a quiet apartment with a man that didn’t talk, you let him. With a heavy heart and the hopes of it turning soon.

Day five was the breaking point.

You found him sitting in the kitchen at 2 am, hunched over the table with a bag of frozen peas on his knee and a half-eaten protein bar on the counter. He looked like a ghost. Pale, massive bags under his eyes, hair all over the place.

“You okay?” you asked quietly, flicking the light on.

He flinched a little at the sound and the sudden brightness, then he looked up. His eyes were tired, like, really tired. Like he had only slept one or two hours in the past few days. He had always told you he had slept fine, right now you didn’t believe any of it.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he replied instead of answering your question.

“You didn’t.”

You sat down across from him, looking at him for a second. “Have you been out here long?”

He shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Another one of those short answers you hated so much.

You paused, looking at his tense facial expression. He was in pain, you could see it, but you were asking about it anyways. “Does it hurt?”

“Yeah, like hell, but that’s not it.”

You waited, careful not to push.

“I just… I feel like I don’t know what I´m doing when I´m not playing. I wake up and I don’t know what the day is for.”

There it was the actual reason why he shut down over the past few days.

“You don’t have to be okay right now,” you mumbled.

“I know,” he replied. “But I also feel like I shouldn’t be dragging you into it. I don’t know how to not be like this.”

You shook your head like he was saying insane things. “You think I´m only here because I expect you to be perfect all the time?” you questioned.

“I think it´s hard to watch someone disappear.”

That hit a little too close, because he had been disappearing, slowly, right in front of your eyes.

“I don’t need you to pretend everything is perfect, but I need you to let me in when it gets bad, okay? You could have screamed for all I cared, and it wouldn’t have been as bad as the silence.”

That made the gears in his head turn.

He looked at you like he wanted to say something but then just nodded.

You didn’t make him talk more that night. Just stood and pulled him to his feet gently, helped him back to the couch and sat with him until he fell asleep with his head on your lap.

------------------

Thigs didn’t magically fix overnight from then on but he slowly started to talk more again. not a lot and not all the time like before the injury but enough for you to not feel alone in a condo with someone anymore.

You woke up to him already on the couch, quietly scrolling through his phone or half-watching Sportsnet.

Sometimes you sat with him, and he leaned into you without saying anything, like he was learning how to be in the same space as you again.

One day, he apologized.

“I´m sorry I shut down. I just didn’t know what to say. Felt like I was trying to breathe through mud.”

You chuckled a little at his comparison, then squeezed his hand. “You don’t owe me to be happy all the time, but I think you owe me to not shut me out when I´m trying to be there for you.”

He nodded slowly. “I´ll try.”

---------------

Things improved from then on. One night, you crawled into bed while he was already half asleep. His back was to you, like it had been many times during this time, and for a second you thought he might not even notice that you were there.

Then he turned, slow and careful with his knee, and wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Don’t go,” he whispered groggily.

You tucked your head under his chin and placed a soft kiss to his chest. “I´m not going anywhere.”

Eventually, clearance came, and he could skate again. Just light movement and no contact but you knew he was itching to get back out there.

You drove him to the rink and sat up in the stands with your hoodie pulled over your head and your hands curled in the sleeves.

He took the first laps slowly. You could tell he was testing every push but by the end of the session he looked more alive than he had in weeks.

When he came off, he found you near the glass. His cheeks were pink, and his hair was soaked under his helmet, but he was smiling like he hadn’t since before the injury.

“I didn’t forget how to do it,” he said.

“You looked good.”

He leaned against the boards. “I´m still not 100%”

“That´s okay, but you´re here.”

He nodded, quieted for a second before leaning down and capturing your lips in a soft kiss. “Thanks for staying.”

You smiled. “Thank you for letting me.”

---------------

The first game back was rough. He was slow in the first period. Took a couple of soft hits. Missed a shot that he would usually snap right in. You could see the frustration in how he skated back to the bench, how he clenched his jaw and sat in silence during intermission.

Afterward, when the reporters were done and the team started clearing out, you waited near the back hallway. He came out looking exhausted and a little pissed off.

You opened the arms anyways and he walked right into them like he didn’t know he needed that until it happened. “It´ll come soon,” you whispered into his shoulder.

He nodded into your neck. “Thank you for being here.”

“I´m not going anywhere, I promise.”

[prettiest-thing-in-the-morgue]

Hello! I readead Die Young and i love it! Also, I was thinking how Dick and others will react when find out Y/N is dead meanwhile they're having a family time together, i need to know.

Sorry if my english is not good, english is not my first language, thank you very much <3

Hi !! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for your ask and your English is very good !!

read die young here

I genuinely believe that the batfam as a whole would be a mix of emotions. Angry because Bruce & Alfred literally hid the fact they had a sibling , remorse for the manner mc died and honestly concerned for Alfred & Bruce.

As much as batfam wants to pry more about mc - Bruce and Alfred would never talk about them - not because they hate the mc or don't want to tell batfam about them either - as seen Bruce often wonders if mc would like them and Alfred still integrates mc into batfam's life with their favorite treats.

Bruce & Alfred won't talk about mc because just thinking about them brings them both too tears - brings them too a deep emotional vulnerability that neither is ready to share with anyone .

They both mourn mc in silence - I'd like to think it's their sick way of coping with mc's death - having that control about how to mourn her . It's unhealthy - unhealthy - to mourn someone the way they do, and batfam tries to convince them both to see a therapist .

Though I doubt a therapist would help - because when mc died Alfred and Bruce lost a piece of themselves that cannot be replaced - mc came into a sensitive time for them both - Thomas & Martha's death feel so fresh , Bruce was loosing hope and him and Alfred were getting distant with each other , things were looking down and then suddenly god sends them both this cute little girl that brings them both together and finally Bruce and Alfred can call themselves a family only for her to brutally taken away from you.

It also doesn't help that mc can not be revived with the Lazarus Pit because she's been dead for so long and Bruce doesn't want his little girl going through anymore pain than she's already been through.

I feel like mc's death will bring batfam closer together though , they realize that life is short and fragile and that they should cherish each other more - differences aside . They'd join Bruce every death anniversary in visiting mc's grace to pay her respects- talking to her and telling her about what's going on in the family.

It's a touching moment for Bruce and Alfred when they do that because they know mc would of loved them .

Individually - the most impact is Jason - he knows how painful death is, and to know that level of brutality happens to a child, much less his sibling makes him feel angry and sorrowful.

Steph and Dick feel very protective of mc despite everything - they both have experience losing a child/sibling and feel sympathy for Bruce and Alfred - they both understand how painful it is - the blame the shame , the regret that haunts you.

Damian and Tim are sympathetic - Damian more so than Tim , both are usually not affected by gruesome deaths - trials of being an assassin and working on cold cases so much but what touches them is the fact that mc had a life , dreams - mc was a literal angel and it disturbs them that they ahd to die like that.

Cass & Duke - both are sympathic but are angry - they actively blame the teacher for mc's death - like how do you watch a child get brutalized like that and do nothing ? They feel a strong sense of injustice whenever they think about it .

[daeniradraconis]

i need some angsty am34 in my life so can i please request from the hurt/comfort prompt list number #5 pleasssse

Thanks so much for your request, love! 💞 Sorry it took me a bit, but I needed to get into the right headspace for this. The inspiration for this fic comes from the line: "I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free." I’d definitely recommend listening to the song while reading—it'll set the mood perfectly. Between the Chapters

The drive home is quiet. Too quiet.

Auston’s hands grip the wheel, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, but you can feel his attention flickering toward you every few minutes. He doesn’t push—not yet—but the tension in the car is thick, the kind that makes it hard to breathe.

You stare out the window, the city lights blurring past as your mind replays the moment over and over again. The way Mitch twirled you around the dance floor, laughter spilling between you. The warmth in his voice when he said, "You know, I knew I was gonna marry Steph seven months in. God, I love her so much!"

Then, he had grinned, nudging your arm playfully. "Next time, it’s you and Auston, right?"

You had laughed, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. Because the answer to that question wasn’t simple. And it should be.

Your fingers tighten in your lap as memories surface—memories from five years ago, when Auston first walked into your life. It wasn’t love at first sight. Far from it. He was everything you swore you’d never fall for. Overly confident. Tattooed. Too much muscle for your liking. And worst of all, a hockey player.

As a Toronto native, you knew their kind too well. Hockey boys weren’t built for forever.

But he had been relentless. The first time you met was at your local gym—nothing special, just another Tuesday morning. You were mid-workout when he walked up, all easy confidence and a cocky grin. “Need a spot?” he had asked, nodding toward the weights you were adjusting.

You had barely spared him a glance. “No.”

That should’ve been the end of it. But Auston Matthews wasn’t the type to take no as the final word. Over the next few weeks, he found excuses to strike up conversations—complimenting your form, making jokes, casually mentioning a smoothie place nearby as if he were just waiting for you to ask him to go.

You never did.

Then one day, as you were leaving, your phone buzzed with a new message.

Unknown Number: You should let me take you out sometime. One date. No pressure.

You had frowned down at the screen, already composing a Who is this? text when another message popped up.

Unknown Number: Before you get mad, blame your friend at the front desk. Turns out, I’m very charming when I want to be.

You had groaned, already making a mental note to scold Jacob for giving out your number. But against your better judgment, you had responded.

And that had been the start of everything.

That first date was different. He was different. He charmed you, went beyond what you ever expected, and to your absolute disbelief, you liked him. Enough to say yes to a second date.

And from there, nothing could stop the two of you.

It’s been five years. Five years of love, of happiness. Auston still buys you flowers. Still kisses your forehead every morning before he leaves for practice. You still give him butterflies—he tells you this sometimes, with a sheepish smile, as if he’s confessing a secret.

And yet, despite everything, there’s no ring on your finger.

For the longest time, it didn’t bother you. You were young when you met, and marriage had always felt like something distant. But now, at 28, your perspective has shifted. You want more. And yet, Auston looked perfectly content.

Doubt seeps in like a slow-moving tide. Maybe he loves you, but not in the way that means forever. Maybe you’re not enough. Maybe you never were.

These thoughts have been eating you alive for months. And with Mitch and Steph’s wedding, they’ve only gotten worse.

The car slows as Auston pulls into the driveway, shifting into park. He exhales softly, finally turning to you. His caramel eyes are filled with worry.

"You’ve been quiet."

You hesitate for only a moment before unbuckling your seatbelt. "Just tired."

It’s not a lie, but it’s not the truth either.

Auston doesn’t move as you step out of the car, his gaze following you up the front steps.

The apartment is dark when you step inside, your heels clicking softly against the hardwood. Behind you, Auston shuts the door with a quiet click. Felix, half-asleep, peeks through the open bedroom door, lazily wagging his tail in greeting. You offer a weak smile, stroking his head before making your way to the kitchen for a glass of water—anything to suppress the tightness in your throat.

Auston follows.

"Ok. What’s wrong?"

His voice is soft, cautious, filled with nervousness. This is why you love him. He always knows when something is off. Always sees right through you. But tonight, you wish he wouldn’t. You’re not ready for this conversation.

Still, lying isn’t an option. Not with him.

You take a slow sip of water before setting the glass down. Then, finally, you turn to face him.

"Mitch told me something tonight."

Auston’s brow furrows. "Yeah?"

"He said he knew he was going to marry Steph seven months into their relationship."

Auston’s expression shifts—just for a second—but you catch it. A flicker of something before he schools his face into careful neutrality.

And there it is. He always does this when marriage comes up. Shuts you out.

Your throat tightens. "Did you?"

Auston looks at you — really looks at you — and for a moment, you can see the wheels turning in his head. But he doesn’t answer. The seconds stretch, thick with unspoken thoughts, and you stare down at the counter, your hands gripping the edge, trying to steady yourself. The silence is suffocating, but it’s the kind of silence that comes with an impending storm—the calm before everything changes.

“Why do you keep doing this to me, Auston?” The words come out shakier than you wanted, but at this point, you don’t care. You can’t hold it in anymore.

His expression flickers for a moment, confusion and frustration mixing. He uncrosses his arms slowly, takes a step toward you. “What do you mean?”

Your head snaps up, eyes locking onto him. This—this is the moment. The moment when everything cracks open. “You know exactly what I mean,” you snap, taking a step back. “You’ve had years, Auston. Years. You know how much I’ve given you—my time, my heart, my future. I’ve given you everything. And still, it’s not enough. Still, I’m just... waiting. Waiting for you to decide that we matter.”

The words are tumbling out now, faster than you can stop them. You’ve tried to keep it together, tried to be patient, to wait for him to come around, but no more. You can’t keep pretending that you’re okay with the way things are. That your love for him will be enough to bridge the gap.

“I’ve been here with you, Auston. Every step of the way. When the games were long, the seasons brutal. When the media tore you apart, I was here. When you were injured, and your body hurt in ways no one could see, I was the one who held you up. I gave up things—opportunities, parts of my own dreams—to be here for you. To support you. Because I thought we were building something together. And for all of it, I’ve always put you first. I’ve put us first.”

You let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of those words settle on your shoulders like bricks.

“But now... I’m 28, Auston. I’ve given you years. I’ve sacrificed things I could never get back. I stepped back from my own career, put my own future on hold to make sure you were okay. I did all of that because I believed in us. But I can’t keep doing it. I can’t keep waiting for something that may never come. I need more, Auston. I need to know if you see this the same way I do. Because right now, it doesn’t feel like we’re in the same page. And I can’t keep building a future with someone who’s still uncertain about theirs.”

The tears you’ve been holding back start to spill, but you don’t wipe them away. This is too important. The weight of it all—the years of support, the sacrifices, the love you’ve given him without hesitation—it’s all too much now. You can’t pretend anymore.

“I feel like I’m just a chapter in your life, Auston. And it breaks me to say it, but I can’t do that anymore. You’ve been my whole damn book. Every page, every chapter, I’ve written with you in mind. I thought that’s what we were building—something we could write together. But right now, it feels like I’m just one part of your story, while I’ve made you my entire life. And that’s not fair to me. That’s not fair to us.”

You shake your head, voice cracking. “I’ve always been here. But I need to know that you’re here too. I can’t be the only one putting everything into this anymore.” You swallow hard, pushing through the emotion, needing to say the words. “I’ve given you my everything, Auston. And I need to know if that’s been enough for you, or if you’re still waiting for something else.”

Auston’s face hardens as your words settle into the air. He opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but then he pauses, clearly torn. His eyes shift, unable to meet yours for a moment, and the frustration is evident in his clenched jaw.

“I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you,” he starts, his voice quieter now, the weight of your words sinking in. “You’re everything to me, Y/N. You’ve been everything to me. I know what you’ve given up for me, and I don’t take that lightly. You’ve sacrificed your time, your dreams. You’ve been my rock, and I’ve always appreciated it. More than you’ll ever know.”

He runs a hand through his hair, frustration mounting in his voice.

“But I—I’m just not there yet. I’m not in the place you need me to be. I want to be. God, I do. But hockey, it’s… it’s everything to me right now. And it’s hard, it’s harder than I can explain to you. You don’t know what it’s like to wake up every day with that pressure, knowing that every moment counts, that you have to be perfect every time you step on that ice. And then there’s the schedule, the constant travel… I can’t even count how many times I’ve missed moments, missed your calls, missed seeing you smile because I was stuck in some hotel room or getting ready for a game.”

Auston looks at you, his expression raw, like he’s unraveling inside.

“I’m afraid that if I’m a dad, if we have a family, I won’t be there. I’ll be gone all the time. Always on the road, always focused on the next game, the next season. I’m afraid I’ll be the dad who’s never home, who’s always grumpy, always snapping at everyone because my mind is so deep in the game. And I can’t do that to my kids, Y/N. I can’t be that guy. I don’t want to be the father who can’t enjoy the small moments, the moments that matter, because he’s stuck in his own head, under all that pressure. I know myself enough to know that if I don’t figure this out, I’d be a crappy dad, and I don’t want that. I don’t want that for us.”

His voice cracks, and he steps closer, his eyes pleading with you. “I love you. I love you more than anything. But I’m terrified of being that person. The person who can’t give you and our family the attention they deserve. And I don’t know how to balance that with everything else. I’m just... not ready to be the man you need me to be, not yet. But I don’t want to lose you. So just, please. Don’t go.”

You take a deep breath, but it does little to quiet the ache that’s slowly consuming you. For the first time in a while, you can see the vulnerability in him, the fear he’s been carrying. And as much as you understand him, as much as you appreciate the honesty he’s finally shown, you can’t ignore the ache in your chest.

You look at him, your heart heavy but resolute. "Auston… I get it. I really do. I understand why you’re scared, and I’m grateful that you finally opened up to me. You’ve been carrying all of this inside for so long, and I know it hasn’t been easy for you."

His eyes search yours, still filled with uncertainty, but he doesn’t say anything, just letting you speak.

"But I need to see my future too," you continue, your voice trembling slightly as you try to brush away a few stray tears from your face. "I’ve spent so much of my life putting us first, supporting you, being patient. I’ve always thought we were working toward the same goal, that we were building something together. And Matty, I truly believe you'd be an amazing dad, despite your fears, because you're one of the kindest, most loving person I know. You have so much love to give, and I know you'd share that with our future family. But I also need to be honest with you about what I want. I want to start a family in the near future—not in 5 or 6 years from now. I want that life with you, and I need to see us building that together. I need to feel like you're planning this with me now, not just ‘someday.’ I can't keep waiting, especially if I don’t know whether this is the future you want too."

Auston looks at you, his face paling, confusion and panic starting to cloud his features. His breathing quickens slightly, and his hands twitch, as if he's unsure of what to do next. “I—Y/N, I told you... I do want that, but I’m just not ready yet. I’m not ready to give everything up for it. I can’t be the father I want to be with this career, with this lifestyle. I need more time—"

“I know,” you interrupt softly, your eyes welling with tears. “I understand. But I need more too. And I can’t keep holding on to something that might never come, Auston. I’ve given you everything I can. But I need to think about my own future too. I can’t sacrifice the rest of my life waiting for you to be ready for a future that I’m not sure will happen. I need to save my heart as well.”

Auston’s eyes widen, and his voice cracks, “Y/N, please. Don’t… don’t say that.”

You shake your head, tears now freely falling down your cheeks. “I need clarity, Auston. And I don’t have it. I thought I could wait. I thought we were in this together, but now I’m not sure anymore. I love you. I always will. But I can’t keep living like this. I need more. I need to know that I’m a part of your future, that I’m not just… waiting for you to decide. And I don’t know if I can do that anymore."

Auston steps forward, his voice desperate, cracking under the weight of his own pain. “Please… don’t leave me. I swear, I’ll figure this out. I’ll find a way to make it work. I don’t want to lose you. You’re everything to me. Please don’t walk away…”

You wipe your tears, your heart breaking, but your resolve only grows stronger. “I’m going to stay at my mom’s tonight. I think… I think this is where we end, Matty. I can’t keep pretending anymore,”

Auston looks at you, his eyes filled with pain and confusion, unable to process the enormity of what you’re saying. He takes a step toward you, his hand reaching out as if he could stop you from walking away. “Y/N… I… I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know what to do, but I know I don’t want to lose you. Please, don’t leave me.”

You close your eyes, feeling the sharp sting of finality. The decision is made, yet your heart aches for him in a way you can’t put into words

With a trembling breath, you step forward and gently cup his face, your thumbs brushing away the tears that have started to fall from his eyes. You search his face, seeing the love and the fear, the regret, and the raw emotion.

“I’ll always love you, Auston,” you whisper, your voice barely audible, thick with emotion. "But I can’t keep waiting for you.”

Auston’s eyes plead with you, his hand reaching for yours, his body trembling with emotion. “Please, don’t say goodbye. I’ll do better. I swear. Please, Y/N.”

You take one last deep breath before you step closer, closing the gap between you. Slowly, you lean in, your lips pressing against his for one last kiss—a kiss full of love, of pain, of everything you’ve shared. It’s slow, lingering, as if the kiss itself is trying to hold on to everything that was between you, every promise, every moment, every “what if.”

You pull away from the kiss, but before you can take another step, Auston grabs you, his arms pulling you back into him with a desperate force. His face crumbles, and he’s shaking, tears falling freely as he buries his face into your neck. His hands clutch at you, like he’s trying to hold onto something he knows he’s about to lose.

He doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head slowly, his breath ragged with disbelief, as if he can’t comprehend the weight of what’s happening. His entire body trembles against yours. You feel the silent pain pouring from him.

"I’m so sorry," you whisper softly, your voice barely audible as your own tears fall. "I’ll always love you, Auston. And I’ll never forget the way you’ve loved me."

He trembles harder at your words, his hands tightening on you, as if asking for more time, more chances, but you know it’s too late.

With one last kiss on his forehead, you step back, your heart breaking in two. You force yourself to turn, wiping your eyes, and as you walk toward the door, you hear him break down completely behind you.

The door closes softly behind you, but the echo of his cries stays with you.

[magics-neptunes-things]

Trouble

Hi guys!

So this come from a request I had several weeks before, but I deleted it like the dumbass I am :) Sorry dear Anon, but they were asking for a long story like the one I did for Alessia and Caitlin.

So here it is :) I hope you'll like it, it's a long one. And I haven’t proofread it, sorry for the mistakes I’ll do it later 🙃

Please enjoy ♥

TW : Pregnancy, Angst, Injuries, mention of breakup, concussion and I think it's ok like this. Please tell me if I forgot anything.

Even if you are from Spain, you are a figure from your youngest age at Arsenal. You are here since your 20 birthdays, and you just finished your seventh year in the north London. You have seen a lot of people coming and leaving, the last one leaving being of course Vivianne Miedema. It was a sad day honestly; you are anyway happy to see Mariona coming with you and Laia to extend the Spanish population in Arsenal. You are three now. Laia, Mariona and you.

You get along pretty great with all the people, even the new signings like Kyra or Alessia. In reality there only is one person with who you don’t really get along.

Leah Williamson.

It wasn’t like that at first, to be honest. You were coming from Real Madrid, but it was to run away from the RFEF and everything’s coming around. You talked about it with your Arsenal teammates, even in 2017 you already had several troubles right there.

Like your Spanish teammates, you sign the letter against the RFEF and like a lot of them you decide not to keep playing under those conditions. But like Mariona, Ona and Aitana, they promised you some changes and you trusted them. So you get back. How wrong you were. But it was too late to change your mind, too many things were engaged. It was in 2022.

Maybe it was at this point that Leah really became hostile towards you. At least she wasn’t afraid to show it off.

You are playing in the defense, usually just next to the same Leah. Like you said you weren’t really closed, but you were doing a great job together. A lot of things happened during those seven years, you have several breaks up with one intervening in 2022 after your ex-girlfriend, Gio, left for Everton and then Spain.

Late spring 2022 too, you got hurt and stayed away from football for several months. You chose to do your rehab in Spain, much to your teammates’ misunderstanding. You still came back several times to meet your doctors at Arsenal, but that’s all. You still managed to come back on the pitches for the World Cup and won it with Spain.

This year you weren’t injured so you were able to play all the games Jonas wanted you to, and you won several other things with Spain.

Which takes us now, at the beginning of a new season.

It was a little hard to come back in Arsenal’s training without seeing Viv. You started at Arsenal at the same year than her, with Beth too. Talking about Beth, it’s probably way harder for her. But you can’t approach her, Leah being always around and looking at you like she’s going to kill you.

You pass all your time with Laia and now Mariona, even if the girl seems to enjoy being able to see her girlfriend as long as she wants now. Which you don’t blame her for a second. You don’t miss Leah’s glare when you enter the gym training, rolling your eyes while Mariona fly to Lia.

You chose a machine next to Steph, who greats you with a smile. You smile back before starting your training, your mind maybe a little somewhere else. You were still training when Jonas comes to you to mumble something in your ear, asking you to follow him.

He takes you to his office, where you find other members of the staff too. That make you frown, but they smile at you from the start, probably to ease your mind.

“Hi, Y/N. We just wanted to see how you are doing?”

“I’m fine, thanks” you answer, always a little suspicious.

Well, it was before you spot Win, Arsenal’s dog, who comes to boop your hand with his nose. You smile and start to stroke him, looking back to the other people on the room when they start talking.

“How are things at home?”

“Oh… It’s pretty great actually, thank you”

You give them a sincere smile, who seems to convince them. It was Jonas who talk next.

“We just wanted to remember you that we have a daycare reserved for Arsenal in the building. Are you still sure that you don’t want that? It could be way easier for you.”

“No” you answer, shaking your head.

Here is the real reason why you were absent during several months. You had a baby. A non-wanted baby after a simple fling with a boy who live somewhere else in the country. He visits sometimes and take your kid for a day or two, but he still lives in South Shields and told you in the early hours of your pregnancy that he won’t be able to move on in London.

You didn’t ask him to do it and you didn’t want to move from London too. So the things settled like this and you manage your career and your baby as good as you can. Your parents come from time to time to help you with, too. But your mother is sometimes a little too much, honestly.

“And what about the fact to talk about it with your teammates?”

You shake your head one more time. Here is the other thing, you haven’t talk to any of the girl about your pregnancy. You don’t really know why, you were scared to be judged, even if you know that they almost all are really understanding and sweet. You had to inform the staff and you find a compromise by saying to the world that you were injured. Which was wrong.

“Maybe it could be easier too if th- “

“I said no”

They all share a look, but you stand your ground. Leah flows in your mind, you are pretty sure that she would be piss off about the situation and the mystery around it. And the idea of your little perfection being talking badly makes you sick, to be honest.

“Ok well, you can go back to training.”

You mumble a thank you, stroke Win a last time before getting up. You are a little angry about this conversation, this isn’t the first time they tried to make you talk about it to the other players. Maybe it could explain a lot of things to them, why you are late sometimes or why you look very tired several times too. Why you skip almost all the team’s bonding too.

Well, you probably wouldn’t come if you could, Leah’s here and you stay away from her as much as possible.

You are still angry when you find your teammates and you have never been a good person when it comes to hide your feelings. Everyone in the team can see it but you ignore the whispers and the looks exchanged.

They were now in the room where Jonas talks about strategy and new of the team for the team’s meeting. You go sit next to Mariona, who gently pushes you with her shoulder. You smile softly at her, before putting your head on her shoulder.

“I’m fine” you mumble.

Mariona knows, like Laia, but only because they are your Spanish teammates, and you couldn’t hide it from them during the World Cup or the Olympics. Safe to say that they all became aunties, with Alexia Putellas of course being the favorite one. She’s really great with kids.

You intercept a furious glare from Leah and arch an unimpressive eyebrow at her.

“Can’t she give it a rest from time to time?” you groan silently when Jonas enters the room too.

“Basta” Mariona mumbles back and you groan back.

It’s only when Jonas starts to talk that Leah turn her eyes and you sight softly, sitting correctly on your chair. You hate team’s meeting, it always at those moments that the tiredness comes harder. While you are in movements, it’s ok, you can manage it. But when you are supposed to stay still, it’s harder than anything. Thanks god, Mariona keeps crushing your foot when she feels your attention getting low.

You totally avoid Jonas for the rest of the day, but you couldn’t escape Leah during the training. You are on the same team during the mini-games and we can’t say that the agreement is very courteous.

“For God’s sake Y/N!” almost shout Leah when Caitlin managed to score after passing you.

“If you were in your position, I wouldn’t have to defend the entire field alone, Leah” you spit back.

“I was trying to score! I can’t do everything”

“The keyword being trying here” you snort.

Leah is furious, but you are too. The frustration of the conversation from this morning is still here and you aren’t able to cool off like you usually do. The blonde is now facing you, but you don’t move. You both have literally the same height and you are not afraid of her.

“At least I’m trying things, not like you. Always doing the same boring tricks every single day of your life.”

“What the fuck is your problem, Williamson?”

Just when you wanted to push her away from you, Katie is here to take you away from Leah, while Alessia does the same with Leah.

“Hey breath Mate, it’s just training yeah?”

You nod and take the bottle of water Laia is giving to you, taking several longs sips. You shouldn’t have reacted that way, but Leah is getting on your nerves. You don’t know what Alessia is saying to Leah, but the blonde answer something quickly and animatedly to her.

At the end of the training, Jonas takes Leah and you on the side, scolding both of you like children. You put your best poker face; arms crossed on your chest. There is a hint of challenge in your eyes when you look at the man. You are still piss of about the conversation from this morning. You had a deal about your pregnancy, and they still try to turn it in their way.

“Y/N can I give you a word alone?” he asks after her speech.

“Not again Jonas, I’m sorry. I really have to go.”

He sights and makes a gesture with his hand, to tell you to go. You don’t hesitate to go to the locker room, taking a quick shower before leaving the facility. Your baby is waiting for you in the daycare and you have to go as soon as possible.

“Y/N?”

You turn when you hear Mario’s voice and stop in your run to your car.

“Yeah?”

“You know about the team night this weekend?”

“Yeah?” you say one more time.

“It’s at Lia’s. And she asked me to make sure that you will come too.

You sigh and roll your eyes. Mariona as a guilty smile and shrug. You can perfectly picture how the conversation went, and you can’t help but being amused by it.

“Will Leah be here?”

“Probably. It’s at Lia’s.”

There is a beam of silence.

“Y/N, come on please. I’ll missed you.”

“What did Lia promised you if you make me come?”

“Nothing” Mariona laughs. “She just looked at me with those green doe eyes and she knows I can’t deny her anything.”

You sigh once again while rolling your eyes.

“Alright, I’ll be there. But I’m not passing the night.”

You haven’t exchanged a single word with Leah since your fight during the training. Unlike the other times, you don’t even look at her now, you just ignore her. Making like she doesn’t exist, even if there probably is another more mature way to deal with things. But you have to be mature every day, so if a teammate decides to shout at you without reason, you are just going to ignore her and that’s all.

Of course, Leah is here when you enter Lia’s house, looking stupidly attractive in her white top and jeans. But Laia immediately takes you by the arm to lead you in another part of the room. You don’t know if they planned something together, but you decide to ignore it.

“Where’s your little one?” Laia whispers softly.

“With his usual babysitter” you answer quietly. “He was asleep when I left, maybe he’ll sleep well tonight.”

There is a big hint in your voice telling Laia that you absolutely don’t believe it. Your son has the worst sleep in the world. Laia smiles and pat your back with affection, and you snuggle against her, never against hugs, kisses and a little of love.

“Can’t she keep her hands for herself?” Leah groans on the other part of the room.

Lia, who was sitting next to Mariona, laughs softly. She’s the first-person Leah goes when she wants to grumble about you, but the Swiss woman never took it seriously. Until your fight the other day, you never have a word against each other, to be honest.

“Just stop looking at her” Lia smiles.

“Hard to do when she’s so noisy”

“You’re acting in bad faith” Lia points, making Mariona smiles next to her.

Leah snorts and drag her attention somewhere else in the room. Katie and Caitlin are giggling on a sofa, thanks god there are people as single as her in this team too. Leah was thinking about getting up to find Alessia and Lotte when Mariona talks.

“When are you going to do something about your crush for her anyway?”

Leah is so stunned that she looks at Mariona blankly for almost one minute.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t look surprised. The sexual tension between you two is hard to miss. You fancy her and it’s ok, really. Just do something about it.”

“I don’t fancy her” Leah seems really outraged. “She’s so annoying and full of confidence, it gives me the ick. Plus, she can’t stop to touch everybody, even people she knows are with someone, just like you.”

Leah’s looking at Mariona, who arch her eyebrows. It’s Lia who answer something at that though.

“She’s Spanish, Love. They are just touchy” Lia shrugs.

“We are” Mariona confirms with a knowing smile towards Lia.

“You both are disgusting.”

“At least I’m being disgusting with someone else, I’m not just starring at a girl pretending hating her.”

“I’m not pretending” Leah growls before getting up.

From your point of view, you just see Leah getting up, complaining something that no one can really understand. You watch Lia and Mariona talking before Laia takes your attention again by asking you a question. You are now sitting with Stina and Frida, in addition to Laia and you were casually talking with a glass of alcohol in your hand.

The night went pretty great, you don’t drink a lot and you are having a lot of fun, catching up with your teammates. You talk to a lot of them, usually going away from Leah. You don’t realize that she’s looking at you from time to time, you are still ignoring her. It’s hard for you, you have to admit. Every time you spot some blonde hairs, your eyes always turn in her direction.

“Oh, I have to take this one” you frown, picking your phone from your pocket.

It’s the babysitter and it’s never good when you received a call from her. Usually, she’s able to manage your son’s cries or behavior.

“Hello?” you answer when you are on the other room.

“Hi Miss, I’m sorry to disturb you… But you probably need to come home.”

You feel your blood freeze in your veins, hearing this poor girl explaining to you that your son caught his feet in the carpet while wanting to join his babysitter in the living room after waking up.

You are livid when you end up your call before turning around, just to face Leah. You swear inside your head but for once she’s looking at you with something else than disdain. She seems concerned.

“Are you ok?” she asks.

“I… Can you get me Mariona or Laia? Please.”

She looks at you several seconds before nodding. You saw her form going in the living room while you are on your phone, asking for an Uber.

“Y/N? Que passa?”

Mariona’s voice startle you, but you are relieved to realize that Leah hasn’t follow her. Even if your friend is talking in Spanish and Leah probably don’t talk a single word, even if she likes to go to Ibiza on holidays.

You explain to Mariona what is happening in a quick Spanish, going to grab your coat when your Uber informs you that he’s coming in five minutes. The Balearian promises that she will say goodbye to Lia and the others for you and just with that, you left the house.

You took your son and his big bump on the hospital, where you pass the night. The doctors decided to keep him under observation in case of concussion. You kept Mariona and Laia informed and ring his dad too. You feel a little alone, sitting on that awful plastic chair while your son is peacefully sleeping on his bed.

You almost regret refusing Mario’s offer to come with you, but it was her girlfriend’s party. And you would have need to explain a lot of things to the others.

You skip the training two days later, wanting to stay with your son. He’s good to be honest, but you prefer not to take any risks with his health. He’s still little after all, he’s not even two years old. And seeing him in pain just break your heart.

Laia visited you and brought you some groceries and fun things for your little man. He likes when Laia or Mariona are visiting, he seems to love talking in Spanish more than English.

He was already sleeping when someone knock on your door that night and you hesitate before getting up to open the door. You aren’t waiting for anyone rand you aren’t in the mood for some canvassing.

But it isn’t someone wanting to sell you some assurance who you face when you finally open your door. It’s Leah.

You look at her blankly.

“What are you doing here?”

There is no harm in your question, almost no one came to your apartment since your delivery. You changed one of your guestrooms for a nursery, where your baby is sleeping right now.

“I don’t know. I just… You weren’t in training today” Leah shrug.

“You could have text me” you point.

“Would you have answer me?”

There’s a beam of silence.

“Probably not” you smirk before sighing when you realize that Leah isn’t moving. “So, why are you worried for me?”

“I’m not worried about you” she snorts. “I’m your captain, I need to check on my players.”

“You could have asked Jonas” you shrug.

“After our little commitment from the other day, I wasn’t sure that he would have answer something to me”

You exchange another look before you sigh one more time and let her come inside your apartment. She came here several years ago, so it’s not a surprise for her. Not a lot of things have changed, and you are a little neat freak, so there isn’t any toy on your living room.

“You can sit” you point your couch.

“Why are you whispering?” Leah whispers back.

“I’m not whispering” you whisper.

You are whispering. You really hope that your son is dead asleep and will not hear that you are having a late visitor.

Leah groan in frustration and briefly press her hands on her eyes while sitting on your couch. She then raises her head again and looks at you, sitting on the arm of the same couch.

“Look Y/N, I know things are a bit tensed between us for several months now…”

“Yeah, I still don’t know why. Just saying.”

Leah bites her lips and looks at the windows, probably trying to sort her thoughts in the right order. You are really intrigued, you never really understood why Leah’s behavior changed with you. You only have assumptions, but nothing to be sure of.

“Would you understand if I… - “

“Mamá?”

Holly shit. Leah turns so quick to the voice coming from the entry of the living room that you actually don’t see her making the move. You ignore the strange feeling in your throat and turn yourself to your son, putting the sweetest smile on your face.

“Que passa Cariño?”

He reaches out to you while you approach him, and you don’t hesitate to take him in your arms.

“Who dat?” he mumbles, switching automatically in English, his face half-hiding behind your shoulder.

“It’s Leah, you saw her on telly, do you remember?”

He nods and Leah waves at him still under the chock.

“Number 6”

“Sí Cariño.”

His big eyes are looking at her with intensity and curiosity, but it’s not the time for him to do that.

“I’ll take you back to bed” you inform him.

He nods again and wave back at Leah. You don’t have the courage to look at her and take all your time to put the toddler to sleep, even if he falls back asleep very quickly. You almost hope that Leah would have left when you come back in your living room. But of course, she’s still here.

“So… This was why you were whispering” Leah finally comments after several minutes of silence.

You roll your eyes and let you fall on the couch. Leah knowing your secret is the worst thing honestly, if you had to choose someone on the team you definitively wouldn’t have chosen Leah.

You must look desperate, because when Leah talks to you again, it’s with the most caring voice ever.

“Look, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

You just have to look at her eyes to know that you believe her. Your eyes follow her hand when she puts it on your knee, and you remember the first months of your arrival in Arsenal. Leah was sweet and caring with you too. You were getting along so great. This gesture makes you realize that you actually miss it.

“Thank you” you mumble.

“Who else know?” she asks softly.

“Mario and Laia, and I have to tell the staff obviously” you sigh softly. “And the players of my national team know too, it was impossible to hide during the World Cup. The fans assume that it was Mateo’s cousin.”

“That’s why you went to Spain during your recovery” Leah realizes aloud, before frowning. “Wait, you weren’t really injured, were you?”

“No” you sigh. “But my pregnancy wasn’t really wanted, and I panicked. I needed to go back to my parents, and they helped me with it. Then he was born and now he’s here. I sometimes want to tell you all but it’s harder everyday and I really wanted to protect him from the media and stuff. But the staff wanted me to talk to you all for several weeks now”

“Is that why Jonas calls you to his office sometimes?”

“Yeah” you breath, still annoyed. “We had an agreement with me not talking about my son but they try to make me change my mind.”

“Oh.”

You raise your eyes on Leah, to see that she seems a little uneasy and thoughtful at the same time. You don’t know why you are explaining all of this to Leah, even if she knows now, it’s still Leah.

“I was sure that you had something happening with him.”

“With Jonas?” you ask with disbelief and grimace when she nods. “Ew. No.”

Leah laughs slightly and you can feel her looking at you with attention. It’s maybe the first time she’s looking at you without animosity from a long time now. You feel yourself blush slightly, but she doesn’t point it.

“I have like a billion of questions” she admits.

“I’ll answer them, but I need a drink before. What do you want?”

“Same thing as you.”

You come back with two Spanish beer, and you smirk when you watch Leah looking at the name of the brand on the bottle before drinking.

“Who is the father?”

“You don’t know him. He was a random hookup after my breakup with Gio. I was trying to forget it; I didn’t expect to forget it that way though. He lives in South Shields.”

“So, you raise him alone?” Leah frowns.

“No, he comes from time to time. Sebastian loves him and he’s great with him, but he has his life in South Shields, and I couldn’t ask him to let everything down to come in London. And the closest place to South Shields would have been Manchester, there was no way that I leave Arsenal for United.”

Leah has a vague grimace, and you can’t help but smile. You heard her too many times talking about the fact that Alessia left the wrong team to come for the best. She then drinks her beer, seeming to register what she just learned.

“Does Gio know?”

You shake your head before answering.

“I haven’t talk to her since the breakup” you mumble.

“Would you have liked to if you hadn’t been pregnant?”

“I don’t know, Leah.”

She nods once again, looking lost in her thoughts one more time. You take advantage of it to look at her really for the first time for ages. You always loved her eyes and found the wrinkles around them very cute. But Leah is beautiful, it’s not something new. She isn’t fancied by dozens of fans for nothing.

“Sebastian is a pretty name”

She suddenly raises her head on you, catching you staring at her. Well, almost checking her, you have to admit.

“Oh, thanks”

You clear your throat nervously before talking again. You didn’t realize how hard you were staring at her and you hate her smirk and the cockiness with which she raises her eyebrows.

“I should go. I’m sorry I showed up like this without warning and kind of force you out with your secret.”

“Don’t worry, I’m used to it” you roll your eyes, thinking about Arsenal’s staff.

“I can tell a word to Jonas if you want me to. Asking him to leave you alone.”

“I can defend myself” you frown.

“I know.”

Her answer makes your annoyance subside as quickly as it had ridden. She just wants to help; she’s not judging you. You look at her eyes maybe a little longer that what you should before smiling at her softly.

“I’ll ask you if I need you, ok?”

“Deal.”

Leah stands up and you are a little sad to see her leave, but you should probably go to bed too. You follow her to the door, opening it for her. She passes the doorstep before turning in your direction.

“Will you be at training tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Sebastian is going back to daycare.”

Leah smiles and before you can react, she kisses your cheek before going to her car. The way your cheek burn stupidly even minutes after annoys you prodigiously.

After that night, you realize that Leah is looking at the best way to recreate the friendship you had in the first place. She’s awkward sometimes but that make you laugh. The others have realized that something changed between both of you, and you informed Mario and Laia about what happened. It makes sense for them, but not for the others.

Leah comes from time to time at your house with a coffee for you and a hot chocolate for Sebastian for breakfast. You like those moments together and after several moment of shyness, Sebastian is now really at ease with the blonde.

“He looks so much like you” Leah points one morning while you are sitting to drink your coffee while Sebastian is playing on the ground with his little cars, his bump almost impossible to see now.

“Well, I hope so, after all the hours I worked for him to go out of me” you roll your eyes.

Leah imitates you before answering.

“Of course, he looks like you. But he has the same eyes color, the same mimic too. The only thing changing is that he doesn’t have your Spanish accent while talking English.”

“What?! I don’t have an accent anymore” your frown deeply.

“Of course you have” Leah laughs.

You keep frowning. You are living in London since almost seven years, you are pretty sure that you haven’t any accent anymore.

“Don’t make that face” Leah still laughs. “It’s kind of cute and hot honestly.”

You raise your eyebrow while looking at her. Does Leah just say you are hot? You can’t say anything else though, because Sebastian is coming to you with a frown and one of his cars in one hand, a wheel in another. You look at him wordlessly handing it to Leah, who puts it back without hesitation.

Others changes came in your relationship with Leah. Your favorites people to cuddle have been Lia and Beth, before Alessia and Kyra came to Arsenal. Leah seems surprised when you put your legs on hers for the first time during a team bonding while you were sitting on a couch, but you didn’t really think about it. You just did what you wanted without thinking.

Thanks god, Leah’s rigidity faded as quick as she came. Since that day she’s the one initiating hug from time to time.

And she takes the habits not to prevent you when she comes to your house for breakfast or in another moment of the day. She usually doesn’t come at evening because she knows that Sebastian might be sleeping.

It was another day like the other when Leah comes to your house with her bag of pastries and your hot drinks. She rings the bell like every time but she’s not facing you when the door is open. She’s facing a man around your age, looking at her with the same surprise as she is.

“Who are you?” he asks, and Leah arch her eyebrow.

“Who are you?” she snaps back.

She doesn’t like the way he’s standing on your apartment like he owns it. She read to many news items and watched to many dark television reports about men killing women.

But she doesn’t have the time to get scared a little longer, because there is suddenly a sweet, happy voice that she knows very well.

“Leah!”

Sebastian is running from the living room for Leah, jumping on her knees. Leah takes him in her arms and hug him, before looking again at the man.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“Mamá is in the bathroom” Sebastian says happily, looking in the bakery bag with appetite. “Did you buy me Mince pies?”

“Sur, Buddy.”

With his pastry in her hand, Sebastian runs back inside the apartment to sit at the dining table. Leah follows him and was starting to get really annoyed by the other man in the room just when you arrive.

“Leah! Hi.”

She smiles at you and let you kiss her cheek with a side hug. You then put your attention on your son and his pastry, obvious of the tension in the room.

“So, you met Jeff?” you ask, cleaning Sebastian’s cheeks.

“Not really” Leah mumbles, sitting next to Sebastian.

You only raise now your gaze to realize that Leah and Jeff are actually looking at each other from the corner of their eyes with almost hostility.

“Jeff is Sebastian’s dad. He came for the weekend to pass time with Sebastian” you explain.

“’e ‘o ‘o o’ie” Sebastian says, mouth full of food.

“Try after chewing your food Cariño” you roll your eyes at him playfully.

“We’re going to watch a movie and then watch Mamá and you play” he pips up with happiness.

“That sounds good Bud’.”

Leah smiles but you can say that it’s not a real smile. Jeff finally sits next to you, and you manage to entertain a conversation between the four of you, very helped by Sebastian. Around ten, Jeff and Sebastian both left to the cinema, and you hug him tight and verify his bag before letting him leave with his dad.

“I’ll keep you update about our day” Jeff says, kissing your cheek goodbye. “See you, Leah.”

Leah grumbles something back and you don’t lose a second to have a real and long look at her once the door is closed.

“What?” Leah moody ask.

“You tell me. What’s happening to you?”

“Nothing” she shrugs.

You hum in answer, not trusting her for a single second. But you don’t want to push too much. You offer her another tea before cleaning the kitchen and making your bag for the game. Leah’s here so she will drive you to the stadium.

“Where is he staying? During the weekend?”

“In the guestroom, why?”

“He’s sleeping at your house?!”

“…Yeah?”

Leah doesn’t answer. She doesn’t like it. She doesn’t like the way he kissed your cheek like you’re still his, even if you never have really been. She doesn’t like him around you, sleeping in the same house as you are.

“Leah what’s happening?”

You are lost. Leah seems angry but you don’t understand why. She doesn’t answer once again, only looking at you when you put your hand on her arm. You can see torment in her eyes, but you still don’t understand why.

“You know he still fancy you, right?”

“What?” you laugh softly.

But you realize quickly that Leah isn’t joking. The way she looks at you make you feel something funny in your stomach. It’s intense.

“It’s nothing like that between us. We are friend for Sebastian, nothing more. Nothing happened since the night Sebastian was conceived” you say with a comforting voice.

Leah hums once again, her brows still frowning. You erase them with a tentative finger, trying to read her eyes.

“Why are you asking that, Le?”

“Nothing, he was just acting like you’re together or at least like he lives here too.”

“Well he’s not. You or Mario and Laia are here way more often than him.”

Leah still seems moody when you left to take her car to go to training, but at least she’s talking to you and not sulking.

“I was wondering” Leah starts after you chose a music to listen during the trip “What’s your type? I mean it’s obviously tattooed, blond and disgusting bodybuilder for the men, but what about women?”

“He’s not a bodybuilder Leah” you laugh while rolling your eyes. “And for women, you saw my ex-girlfriend, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but Gio has brown eyes and hair. And I totally saw you with a blond before.”

She’s right. You bite your lips softly while trying to find the best way to explain how you “choose” your crushes.

“It’s not a physical preference with women. It’s more… The charism, you know? It can be someone with blond hair and clear eyes, or a brunette. It doesn’t really matter.”

“I see” Leah answer thoughtfully, before smiling. “Who was your first celebrity crush?”

“Dianna Agron” you answer without any hesitation.

How much you are sure about it makes Leah laugh, and you can’t help but smirk back. You were kind of obsessed with her in Glee, I mean have you seen that girl? It would probably be strange not to be, in your humble opinion. You don’t have time to ask Leah’s, because the blonde is parking the car in the stadium. You maybe will be able to ask her the question back after the game.

You don’t let your son coming a lot to the games, there is really less spectators than for the men’s games and you don’t want him to be exposed to someone from the staff or something. But you can’t always say no to him when he begs you to come. Today Jeff is here, so it can easily pass for a dad-son moment to anyone.

You discreetly great him with a wave during your training, internally rolling your eyes when you see him with a bucket of chicken nuggets and some chips, even if it’s like three in the evening. But after that you are focused on your training, you are on the starting eleven today and you have to be more ready than ever.

The game was hard, but it went pretty great. Leah and you managed to block almost all the shoots took by the other team and when they passed, your goalkeeper stopped the ball every time. Caitlin and Mariona scored today, with Alessia being rested. Jonas informed you that you will be sub off around the seventy minutes during the half-time and you just nod softly. You are sad not to play every minute of the game while your son is here, but he knows now that you are sub to be rested to be able to play better the other games.

You knew that at the next stop during the game you will be switch, so you decide to play as best as possible when you see that a ball is coming across the field, for a header from an opponent. You jump to try to take it first, but your head is soon hits by something very strong who made you groan in pain. You fall on the ground without being able to stop your fall, pain radiating in your head.

You are not aware of the opposite player lying somewhere close to you, in pain too. You hear the footstep of the other players around you and you open your eyes just to see Lotte’s short crouch next to you.

“Do you hear me?” Lotte says.

There are other hands on you, stabilizing you on your side. You groan in answer to Lotte, who let a breath of relief.

The pain is awful, but you know that somewhere in the crowd there is your son who is probably mad concerned. You don’t want him to see you like this. Mariona has been subbed for Chloe some minutes before so she’s not on the pitch anymore. There is just one person who can help you now.

“Leah” you whisper.

You can’t hear yourself, so you are really surprised when you hear her answer, from behind you.

“I need to get up” you mumble, rolling slowly on your back.

“It’s not a good idea” one of the medical team answers.

Opening your eyes is painful, thank God there isn’t any sun but only grey sky under you. Leah’s frame block a little of the light, which is good too. You look for her eyes before talking again.

“I need to get up. I can’t worry…”

You don’t finish your sentence, but you see that Leah understands quickly. Her eyes went just for a second where Sebastian is seated with her dad before nodding.

“I’ll help you” she says, frowning. “It’s ok, you have to take her inside, she was going to get sub off anyway”

With Leah and Lia’s help, you managed to get up and went straight to the infirmary. Laia and Mariona came with you, sitting quietly with you while you are being checked by the team.

“Do you want me to go take your things? You can maybe write to Jeff like this?” Laia proposed in Spanish.

“Yes please” you whisper back.

She pats your hand when she sees you wince because of the pain before getting up to close discreetly the door between her. Mariona holds your other hand during all the time and when Laia came back with your phone, you had to ask her to write to Jeff for you.

You both decide that you will meet at your flat after the game, you don’t know if you have a concussion for now, but it’s still better for your son. Jeff says to you that he wasn’t really happy with this thing, but that he will manage to busy his mind. You know he will.

Several minutes later, there are knocks on the door and you mumble a vague “Come in”. Leah comes inside almost hesitantly.

“How are you?” she asks, standing awkwardly next to the door.

“Tired. I have a concussion but other than that I’m ok” you answer to her.

She nods softly and you close your eyes again, looking to have a little of relief for your head. You don’t see Laia and Mariona exchanging a look before the Mallorcan talks to you again.

“We are going to get a shower. Do you need a lift to go home?”

“I can take her home” Leah interjects. “If you’re ok with that, of course.”

“Yeah” you answer only.

Mariona hums while Laia kisses your cheek.

“Call me if you need anything yes?”

“I will Mario, don’t worry”

You snap her hand when she pinches your cheek, making her laugh. You can’t help but smile back, sitting a little more when they are gone. This time Leah comes closer to you, and you can see in her eyes how worry she is.

“I’m fine” you assure her.

She groans in answer, and you almost roll your eyes again but stop the move before it’s too late. The medical staff comes right after, with a paper with the medication you will need for your recovery.

“You can’t be alone at home. Do you have someone to look after you?”

You frown softly, Sebastian can obviously not take this role. And you will need someone to take a look at him probably.

“My… A friend is at home for now. He’s supposed to stay until tomorrow late afternoon” you assure.

“No way” Leah snorts. “I will stay at your home to take care of you.”

There is now way in Leah’s mind that Jeff takes this opportunity to come closer of you in any way. You accept her offer (even if you don’t really have the choice) and with that you are walking to Leah’s car. Well, it’s more like Leah is carrying you and both of your bags.

Like you were imagining, Sebastian is still up when you come home, still wearing his Arsenal kit and looking by the windows to see you come in. He jumps in your legs when you arrive inside, and you take all your strength and concentration to take him in your arms.

“Hi buddy. Did you enjoy the game?” you ask while Leah ruffle his hair.

“Mama hurt” he mumbles, hiding his face in your neck.

“Yes, but I’m alright, ok? Have you eaten something?”

“Nothing since his fries at the stadium” Jeff intervenes. “I wanted to see if you want to eat with us before starting to cook something”

“I’m not really hungry” you shrug.

“The doctor said that you have to eat, Y/N” Leah remembers you.

You sigh softly and look at Sebastian for several seconds. He need a bath and you definitively need a shower too. Then you can all eat together before heading all in bed, that should be something possible to do, right?

“Leah, would you like to help Sebastien with his bath while I’m taking a shower? So Jeff you can cook us something, honestly just pasta with one pot of salsa I have in the cupboard would be great.”

You will see tomorrow for vegetables for your son. Sebastian seems happy to learn that Leah will give him his bath, but you see Jeff frown softly behind her.

“Is Leah staying for diner?”

“Mh in fact, Leah is staying for several day to have a look at me” you shrug.

Sebastian takes your hand to drag you to the bathrooms, so you miss the rejected look of Jeff and the happy smirk that Leah addresses him. You probably would have rolled your eyes, which is still a very bad idea.

Thirty minutes later, Sebastian is finishing his second plate while you struggle to eat more than five pastas. You can see Leah’s concerned gaze, but you start to get really tired, and you would kill to be able to go to sleep right now.

“You should go to sleep” Leah frown while looking at you.

“But Sebastian…”

“I can put him to bed” Jeff says. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Leah proposed to wash the dishes, so you just say goodnight to your son before going to your bedroom. You change for a pajama and go to a quick toilette before going back to your room and your bed.

You recognize Leah’s path in front of your room when you realize that you are the worst host ever.

“Leah” you whisper-shout.

You can’t help but smile when she passes her head through your door.

“I’m sorry I just realize that you don’t have anything to sleep in” you bite your lips. “You can take something from my stuff”

“Thanks” Leah just answer, turning to your furniture to take some short and t-shirt.

“Also, I hope you were not expecting to sleep on the couch, are you?”

Leah froze before turning in your direction, looking a little lost. Even with your brain being a new kind of jell-o, you can only notice how cute she looks.

“I did. Why?”

“Sebastian might wake up this night and maybe Jeff will take him there. If you don’t mind, you can sleep with me?”

“Oh.”

Oh? You arch an eyebrow at her reaction. It’s almost hurtful to be honest, but Leah seems quickly to find a way to recompose herself.

“Well like this I can have a real look at you”

“If you say so” you grumble, before turning your back at her and closing your eyes.

You don’t see Leah’s affectionate smile when she looks at you before she changes her clothes for yours and went to the bathroom. She wasn’t expecting you to ask her to sleep with you when your ex is around. She smirks when she thinks that she beats him there and he probably will get mad about it.

When she joins you in the room again, you weren’t far from sleeping but you still have a pout on your face. Leah lays down next to you and have to put an hand on your hips to kiss your cheek because you still have your back turning to her.

“Sleep well Princess Spain” she smiles.

How can you not smile at that? You do smile, softly.

“Night, Lee.”

“Wake me up if you need something yeah?”

She kisses your cheek again and you hum, moving a little for your back to be press against her. She lets you, even passing her arm around you. You fall asleep very quickly like this.

Like the doctor’s recommendation, Leah wakes you up every three hours just to be sure that you still have all your head working correctly. It’s only when you menace her to make her sleep in Sebastian cradle that she stops.

The next morning, when you wake up, Leah isn’t next to you anymore. You are a little lost, your head is pounding awfully, and you grab you look at your phone to know what time it is. It was before realizing that Leah hides it because you are not supposed to look at screens for now.

You were about to get up when the door of your room is open, just for Leah to be entering.

“Oh, hi. I didn’t know you were up” she says.

“Not for long” you mumble. “Where’s Sebastian? What time is it?”

“Your ex took him to have breakfast somewhere and go to a playground, the weather is nice” Leah explains. “How’s your head?”

“Hurt”

She smiles with sympathy and give you some pills and a bottle of water. You probably haven’t saw her so careful with someone when she helps you to sit, unless with Sebastian maybe. She lets you take your medicine before pressing her hand on your forehead.

“You don’t have fever. Are you feeling dizzy?”

“A little” you admit.

“You should probably eat something. What do you want?”

“Just bring me some of cereals who are at Sebastian” you shrug.

But Leah frowns softly.

“You need a real breakfast”

“You don’t know how to cook” you point with a small smirk.

But you just challenged Leah who snorts and gets up from your bed, answering something like “Try me” before leaving the room. You don’t see her for twenty minutes, time you used to get fresh and change your clothes.

You look at the tray she brings you. Fresh press orange juice, some fruits and grilled toast with butter. You realize that some of toasts are plain and when Leah comes back in bed with you, you understand that she will eat with you.

“I’ve read that you guys are eating bread with tomato in the morning. Sorry but I don’t know how to do that” she says while putting the orange juice in your hands.

“Have you typed What Spanish people eat for breakfast? on Google?”

You just wanted to tease her, but when you realize that her cheeks are suddenly a little pink, you can’t help but laugh. Leah doesn’t seem to take it bad though.

“No. More like How to feed a beautiful Spanish girl in the morning”

“Flattery will get you everywhere”

She just smiles, probably wanting to let you enjoy your breakfast. You are not really hungry to be honest, but you know you need to eat something. Leah seems to enjoy the strawberries, so you lot them to her, eating slowly your toasts. From the outside you probably look like a couple, and you can’t explain why you like that idea so much. You raise your eyes on Leah who smiles at you, and you smile back, trying to ignore the strange feeling she cause in your belly.

It isn’t new, honestly. You don’t know when it started, but it’s not the first time. You already felt your heartbeat go faster when she hugs you or kiss your cheek. Trickle on your skin where she touched you. You are a casual cuddly and touchy person, and you might have taken advantage of it to be closer to Leah.

She doesn’t comment your lack of talking, probably putting it on your concussion. You are feeling pretty great for someone who has one, but probably because it’s a light one.

“Do you need anything else?” Leah asks when you’re finished.

“Cuddles?”

She smiles and get on her back, and you don’t waist a second to almost straddle her, your head on her shoulder, one of your legs between hers and your hand stroking her arm. To be honest, you are almost entirely lying on her.

“Thanks for taking care of me” you whisper, your eyes lost somewhere facing you.

“I wouldn’t have let anyone else take care of you.”

His fingers going up and down your spine would be enough not to make you realize what her words can mean. But your foggy brain seems to be able to do it anyway.

“Why?” you ask.

“Because I care for you, Missy”

She boop your nose with her finger. She could have put teasing in her voice, but there isn’t. She seems a little breathless, which is very strange for someone just lying in a bed. It feels like it’s time for some confessions, so you decide to push your luck a little more.

“Lee?” you continue when she hums. “Why did you hate me?”

“I didn’t hate you”

Her answer seems genuine, but you know that it’s not true. You groan when you roll your eyes, remembering too late that it’s better for you not to do it.

“You did, Leah. We reached a point where we never even say hello to each other. And I felt like even me breathing was annoying you.”

Leah’s lips stretch to a small smile. It was true, but she never hated you anyway. She just needs a way to explain to you without looking like crazy. You were waiting patiently for her answer, you never really understood Leah’s behavior with you.

“I just… Felt like you were turning yourself to anyone but me. You never really talked to me about what you were living with the RFEF, but you did with Viv, Lia or Katie. You weren’t touchy with me like you were with Beth or almost everyone around. Sur we were laughing together but I felt like you never considered me for me. Then Gio came and you were always together, ignoring the rest of the world.”

You frown hearing her confessions. You need some seconds to process all of this information and it’s not because of your concussions this time.

“Gio and I were always together because we were together” you point.

“I know!”

You hear her sights of frustration and feel her moving under you when she passes her hand in her hair. Her stroking in your arm has stopped and you miss them already. You don’t add anything for now, feeling like there is something else to come.

“Then you got your injury and you decided to go to Spain, like if we weren’t enough here. And I have to learn all the shit you got through your damn federation like the public, with your petition and then you finally came back to the team. But I still didn’t know why.”

Even if you don’t know if there is a place more comfortable than Leah’s arms, you push yourself to sit anyway and have a better look at her. She’s still frowning, of course she is. You let your eyes take a look at her face, her eyes, before answering something. You don’t know what you could answer to all that, to be honest. Maybe it’ll better to start from the start.

“I never was touchy with you because I didn’t know how you will react. I know it’s different from Spain, Beth has always been extravagant so I knew she wouldn’t mind. I felt like touched depraved honestly, not in the sexual way but I missed hug and just display of affection” you shrug, playing with a piece of bedsheet.

You can feel Leah’s gaze on you, but you are lost in your thoughts and says, looking only at the bedsheet you are playing with.

“For Gio, we had a good time together but if I knew she will break up with me as soon as she wasn’t here anymore, I wouldn’t have lost time with her. She’s nice, but I was looking for something serious, not just a fling to pass time, you know?”

Leah nods softly.

“When I heard about your breakup I wanted to come to you, but I didn’t know how to approach you anymore. And then Jonas announced us that you hurt yourself during a private practice and that you went back to Spain for recovery.”

You nod softly too, biting your lips softly.

“I didn’t want to talk to you about my pregnancy because we had all of those injuries. I was pregnant because of a one nightstand which wasn’t really clever of me. I didn’t have the courage to be judged by someone. And in Spain I had my parents, even if I had the right of a lecture first.”

Leah puts softly her hand on yours, making you look at her for the first time since you started talking. Her eyes are way softer that what you were expecting.

“I understand. I can’t speak for anyone, but I probably won’t have judge you. I’m not gonna lie though, given our tensed relationship, I don’t think I’ll be helpful with you.”

You smile softly, before shrugging. You still have the part with the RFEF to talk about, which you don’t really like. You are not fond of your new coach to be honest, but at least it’s a little better.

“And for the national team, like other I tried to stand up against them while signing that paper with the other girls. They tried to make us comes back for World Cup, making promises and everything. I called Alexia about it and she explained to me that if we don’t come back, they will call younger players. And I couldn’t let younger girls having to deal with all this shit. Ale managed to convince Ona, Mariona, Aitana and myself to come back. We fight to win, hopping that after being World Champions people will hear us more”

You frown too, not far from Leah’s habits. You hate what happened after the World Cup, all this fuss with the former president and Vilda.

“But people keep calling us traitor and were laughing about what happened to Jenni. Then we made this petition attesting that we won’t come back until the RFEF change, like our coach. They changed the coach but then we got forced to come back, they threatened to take away our professional player licenses if we didn’t come back.”

You shrug, still looking at Leah. She’s silenced for now, but you can see all things getting together in her eyes.

“So, I came back because I didn’t have the choice. We talked a lot, sometimes until like three in the morning, and things aren’t great honestly, but it gets better”

“That’s a lot to process” Leah says slowly.

“Yeah. And I had a baby who couldn’t sleep at night during that time” you add with a smirk.

Leah smiles back, her face getting softer when you mention Sebastian. You can’t miss the bond existing between the two, Sebastian adores Leah, and you are pretty sure that Leah likes him a lot back.

“It was hard, but I never had a single regret about my pregnancy. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“He’s a sweet boy” Leah confirms.

You watch her scratch her forehead before putting a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She still seems thoughtful. You look at her while tilting your head, wondering what is still in her mind.

“What are you thinking about?” you ask softly.

“What would have been different if I was there for you instead of sulking stupidly.”

You shrug before biting your lips softly.

“Can I do one more confidence?”

“Of course.”

Leah sits in the bed too, her back against the bed.

“I had like the biggest crush on you on the first day at Arsenal.”

There is a blank before Leah laughs softly.

“You’re joking?”

“No”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

She seems almost outraged by that information but arch an eyebrow before answering.

“You had a girlfriend, Leah. And I’m pretty sure that neither of you would have been interested in a threesome.”

You laugh at Leah’s awkwardness and the grimace she makes soon after. But now that everything was spilled out, you feel a little better to be honest. Lighter. There is no more secrets between you. Or almost, because you still have that crush for her anyway.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you during those times” Leah says, softly stroking your hand now.

“It’s ok. I wasn’t here for you neither when you had your ACL and your breakup.”

Leah shrugs one more time and at this rate she will have done her shoulder-training exercises for the day.

“Plus, you are here now.”

“I am.”

She smiles this time and it’s hard not to have a crush for her when she smiles like this. Leah is a beautiful woman; you must have sore eyes if you don’t realize it. You found her beautiful even when you were at loggerheads, but now that you find back the personality you loved before, it’s even better.

“Would you like to-“ “I was wondering if-“

You talked at the same time, just to shut up at the same time too. You smile at her and she’s smiling too, but this time you are the first to talk.

“Sorry, go on.”

“I was wondering” Leah starts slowly “If you would go out with me one night?"

“Like, for a date?”

“Yeah?”

You really hope that it’s really happening and that you are not dreaming or something. You bite your lips softly before answering.

“I would love to.”

“Are you sure you will be ok?” you ask Mariona in Spanish for the hundredth time.

The usually calm and composed Spaniard sights and throw one of Sebastian’s toys at your head, the poor duck falling on the ground with a “quack”.

“Y/N I swear to God that if you are not leaving now, I will kick you out of your own house. Go get ready.”

You grumble something under your breath, roll your eyes when Mario shouts, “I heard you” and leave for the bathroom. You are already dressed, but you need to do your hair. Tonight is the night where Leah takes you out and you are more stressed than ever.

Mariona accepted to play the babysitter for Sebastian, and she will be sleeping in the guestroom if you are coming home late. You are not the kind of mom who lets you kid to go out usually, when you are not with him it’s because you are at training or at a game. It’s during the week so you were a little reluctant to ask the teen who usually babysit Sebastian.

When you confessed to Mariona and Laia they proposed to come, Laia hasn’t been able to come, but Lia must come soon to help Mariona. Which you find very cute and teased Mariona about. It’s only when she starts to tease you back about Leah that you stopped.

You are just finished to prepare yourself when the doorbell rings and you hear Sebastian’s footsteps running to the door.

“Leah!” he shouts happily.

You frown when you hear him call Leah a second time, but when you go to the living room you understand that it was in fact Lia who he was calling.

“Pwetty” he points you when he spots you coming in the room.

“Gracias mi Amor” you say, kissing his cheek.

“He’s right” Lia says when you great her with a hug. “Maybe I’ll change my Spaniard”

You blush, Leah glares at Lia and Mariona snorts. You then turn to Sebastian to tell him the last recommendations, like eat all his vegetables and to behave with Lia and Mariona. You finally get out of your house before Mariona does, turning in Leah’s direction with a slight strange nervousness.

“So… Where are we going?” you ask, playing with your fingers.

“You’ll see when we will be there” Leah smiles.

She puts a hand in your back to drive you to her car, which she starts as soon as you are both sitting inside. You smile when you hear Taylor Swift singing in the background and hums the melody. You are glad to realize that the conversation between both of you is still easy when Leah asks you a random question and it starts a small talk very appreciated.

You can help but look at Leah from the corner of your eyes, appreciating the way she is dress. Everything is perfect for her, but she’s really beautiful tonight. In fact, you say it to her when you are seated in the table of the new Italian restaurant Leah reserved, suggested by Alessia.

“You’re beautiful, by the way.”

“Thanks” she smiles casually. “I’ll say you are too, but Lia got ahead of me already.”

“She said I’m pretty” you smirk.

Leah laughs softly and you feel your stomach make a special squeeze. She seems so relaxed and when you remember how were things between you two months ago, it seems pretty unbelievable.

“You are beautiful” she says, looking at you right in your eyes.

Cursed be she and her incredible blue eyes. You are saved from fainting by the waitress who came with the menus. You chose to drink a little of wine, it’s not every day that you get out after all.

“It’s the first time I have a date since Sebastian is born” you confess like it was nothing, your eyes still fixed on the menu.

“Really?”

Leah seems genuinely surprised and you arch an eyebrow while looking at her.

“A pregnant woman or a woman with a baby then a toddler aren’t exactly what people are looking for” you shrug.

“Mh. Well, lucky me.”

She smirks and you smile back, trying to ignore the red creeping on your cheek. You like cocky Leah, you always had. You didn’t like when she was harsh and almost mean to you though, but it was time to forget about this moment. You are really happy to have another relationship with her now, even if it seems to be the start of something new.

The night went great, the food was delicious and the company amazing. You and Leah exchanged several longs looks when there is a blank in your conversation. But everything seems so fluid and you love it. You love the subtle flirt from Leah too. She makes you feel special, which you didn’t feel since a long time.

After sharing a dessert, it was time to going home. You don’t hesitate to accept when Leah proposes you a last drink at her house. Mariona informed you two hours ago that Sebastian is dead asleep after having his bath and eating her plate full of spaghetti.

Leah puts something on TV and you both sit on the couch just to ignore it. You are resisting to the urge to kiss her since you left the restaurant, but it’s becoming harder and harder every minute.

Leah was rambling about a random story about her mother’s dog when you finally crack. You just lean in without even taking the time to prevent her, your hand on her hips while you press your lips against Leah’s. She stays still and when you retreat yourself, she’s looking at you with wide eyes. Ok, maybe you read her behavior wrong.

You feel so ashamed that you would rather being struck by lightning right now.

“Madre mia Leah, I’m so sorry. I thought – “

But Leah doesn’t let you the time to add something else. She grabs your face with her both hands and drags you against her to kiss you. You are surprised, maybe less than Leah when you first kiss her, but you kiss her back and you definitely never feel something like that before.

Leah knows how to kiss, and you work on yourself not to jump on her. You follow the move when Leah lays down on the couch, your lips never detached from hers for a long time.  

“I wanted you to make the first move” Leah admits later, when you are cuddling on her couch. “I didn’t want you to feel any pressure”

You just hum and given Leah never refuse you a kiss since the first, you raise yourself to put a peck on her lips.

“Do you want to have the big talk now? About how we see our relationship, or do you want to wait?” the blonde asks you after that.

You frown softly, a little bit surprise by that question. You might have some random hookups at one point, but after your reciprocal confessions and tonight, for you it was more than obvious that you want something serious with her. So you may as well get it clear now.

“I am looking for something serious, I’m not going to lie. I have a toddler and I’m not interested in wasting my time, especially with you because I like you a lot.”

“Work for me baby” Leah smirks, before becoming more serious. “Another thing.”

“Yes?”

“I don’t share” she frowns.

“Okay?”

You don’t understand what she wants to say with it. I mean of course you understand what she means, but not in this situation. You are not really interested to have an open relationship.

“I’m not going to ask you to stop your arrangement with Jeff because it seems working for the three of you now, but it’s not because he’s sleeping at your house that he can say a word in your life or our relationship. And since now he better has his eyes in his pocket.”

You roll your eyes with a little smile. In your eyes, Leah is making a little too much with this story. You are sure that your ex doesn’t have a single interest in you, so you are not lying when you answer to Leah.

“There is nothing between Jeff and me, Lee.”

“For you maybe. We’ll see how he’ll react when you’ll tell him about you and I. But stop about him” she decides soon after.

You were going to ask her if there is another topic that she wanted to talk about, but it was before she shows you what she has in mind by kissing you once again. You don’t complain though, you could probably spend hours kissing her without being tired of it. Everything in Leah is intoxicating, in the right way.

“Is it time for me to get you home?”

It is, but you don’t want to. You agree nevertheless, unable to hold a pout at the thought of separating yourself from Leah, even for some hours. But it’s better this way, even if Lia and Mariona are sleeping in the guestroom, you’d rather to be there when Sebastian gets up.

Leah grabs your hand to takes you to her car and takes it again when you are going to your door.

“I had a perfect night. Thanks” you say when you turn in her direction, passing your arms around her shoulders.

“I have a perfect night too. I can’t wait for the next one”

Her lips stroke yours while she talks, and you can’t help but smile softly.

“Who says it will be another one? Maybe you’ll have to bribe me?”

“Can’t wait” she smirks cockily.

You laugh softly and exchanged another kiss before you have to let her go. She kisses your cheek softly and you enjoy a last time her smell before looking at her going back to her car.

“Text me when you are home?”

“I will. Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night.”

There is only the light in the living room who is still on when you enter the house. Everything is perfectly tidy, way more than when you clean yourself after Sebastian falls asleep. You smile when you see the drawing Sebastian made for you, in evidence on the table in the kitchen.

You pass in your Son’s bedroom to kiss him before going in your bathroom to change for your pajama and prepare you to go to bed. When you are ready, you happily find your bed, looking at your phone just to see that Leah messaged you several minutes ago.

Leah 🌹 I’m home, Lovely. Can’t wait to see you again 😊❤️

You Have a good night too 😊 see you tomorrow?

Leah 🌹 Sure, I wouldn’t want to deprive Sebastian of his morning pastry  🙃

You Seeing you makes him happy too you know, with or without pastry He probably gets it from his Mama 😉

Leah 🌹 Stop and go to sleep, you little flirt 😂

You 😇 Sleep tight ❤️

Leah 🌹 Sleep tight. See you tomorrow ❤️

[jkvjimin]

(119/∞) the perfect nose for butterflies to land on it ♡

[tinycoffeeroom]

thank god for bikes | arthurtv

inspired by @mrstelevision 🤍

face claim: steph bohrer ♡

request: here !

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📍 london

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y/nsworld about last night ˚ʚ���ɞ˚

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user1 i'm in love with you

gkbarry cant believe i didn't even get photo creds ↳ y/nsworld please forgive my sins oh great gkbarry

user2 y/n!! i think the guys u mentioned on ur twt was george clarke and arthurtv!! arthur posted on twt about george getting hit by a bike on a wall!! ↳ y/nsworld !! let me check his twt <3

liked by y/nsworld, wroetoshaw and 29,492 others

arthurtv first pic taken moments before disaster (at least this one won't leave a scar)

georgeclarkeey don't know what was worse, the bike ptsd or you dribbling down your shirt ↳ arthurtv your mum doesn't mind my dribbling ↳ y/nsworld the dribbling was funnier to watch tbh ↳ georgeclarkeey take that mr television

gkbarry i didn't even notice it was you guys hiding in the corner ↳ georgeclarkeey just wanted some alone time with my boyfriend x ↳ arthurtv stop telling people i'm your boyfriend!!

👤 max_balegde liked by max_balegde, arthurtv and 38,028 others

y/nsworld wine in coffee cups and classic literature in a park, my idea of heaven ꕤ

max_balegde got home off my head and now andrews mad i've ruined dinner plans ↳ y/nsworld andrew baby im so sorry :( ↳ andrew_spanndy could never blame you xx ↳ max_balegde god just date her already wooooow

gkbarry regret introducing the two of you, my poor ears will never recover from this ↳ y/nsworld thats your fault for putting two professional yappers together xx

arthurtv pretty sure that's bride you're reading... wouldn't call werewolf smut classic literature ↳ y/nsworld and how do YOU know what's in the book? 🤨

👤 arthur_tv, max_balegde liked by y/nsworld, arthurnfhill and 30,395 others

georgeclarkeey totally normal photo to promote the newest useless hotline ep x

max_balegde rip my purple crocs... can't believe y/n stole them right off my feet... ↳ user2 !!! y/n at the arthurtv podcast recording?? my y/ntv senses are tingling ↳ user3 i'm pretty sure she was there bc her and max are friends... ♥️ y/nsworld ↳ user2 they've never randomly had their friends at recordings, dw you'll join the y/ntv cult soon

📍 ibiza

👤 georgeclarkeey, chrismd, arthurnfhill liked by arthurnfhill, y/nsworld and 45,028 others

arthurtv thank you spotify for inviting us out! (photo cred: y/nsworld)

user2 i am going to scream from the rooftops, y/ntv'ers unite!!

y/nsworld should receive compensation for having to look at george's bare grippers the entire weekend ↳ arthurtv will bring round some wine this weekend ↳ y/nsworld good boy ↳ user2 ... y'all are fucking with me atp

📍 ibiza

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y/nsworld beach bum 𓇼

gkbarry happiness looks so good on you ↳ y/nsworld i love the bones of you

user2 !! WHO TOOK THE PHOTO I FEEL INSANE ↳ y/nsworld my friend! :)

📍 ibiza

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arthurtv decided to stay in the sunshine a few more days :)

user3 user2 i fear you may be onto something ↳ user2 i'm gonna eat glass. like i am actually putting shards in my mouth rn ↳ y/nsworld omg pls don't

y/nsworld looking good mr television ↳ arthurtv why thank you miss world

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y/nsworld use code ynsworld for 15% off ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

max_balegde leaving my bf for you rn. ↳ andrew_spanndy not if i leave you first ↳ y/nsworld i can date both of you at the same time xx

arthurtv djsidjief djg ↳ y/nsworld you ok mr television?

y/nsworld didn't even think about what i was wearing when i went to go see mr hill sing about cold coffee, sorry guys you got the wrong arthur xx

POST DELETED

👤 y/nsworld liked by y/nsworld, arthurnfhill and 93,294 others

arthurtv someone forgot to change over to their finsta so i guess it's hard launch time... somehow got the most gorgeous girl on earth to agree to date me, must be my fantastic sense of humour

y/nsworld lbr most of them already knew, we weren't exactly subtle ↳ arthurtv speak for yourself xx

theburntchip it's the big ol' hog you got in them trousers ♥️ y/nsworld ↳ arthurtv ah yes forgot about that

max_balegde take care of her or me and andrew are snatching her real quick ↳ y/nsworld ... i may have to do some rethinking

user2 i can't believe i was right... VINDICATION ♥️ arthurtv, y/nsworld

👤 arthur_tv liked by arthurtv, gkbarry and 104,845 others

y/nsworld told him i forgot to change to finsta but really i just wanted to show that i bagged a hottie ✮⋆˙

georgeclarkeey still can't believe you snatched him from right under my nose ↳ y/nsworld we're still in the honeymoon phase so i may give him back x ↳ arthurtv what the fuck

gkbarry crying into a pint of ice cream thanks xx ↳ y/nsworld you know you're the love of my life xx

y/nsworld also user2 sorry for gaslighting you xx ↳ user2 i have never been so happy to be gaslighted could do a happy lil cry ↳ y/nsworld our fave y/ntv'er we love you ♡

[wlwsoccerfics]

The Matilda Kids(MatildasXCatleyReader)

Summary: you got in trouble before national Camp.

Your Mom had a hold of your Backpack, while you were wearing it. Not wanting to give you a Chance to walk off since you are grounded. Kyra who arrived with you found it hilarious. In big sister Fashion she had sent this to the Arsenal Team Chat. You were 15 years old. Playing for Arsenal and the Matildas alongside your Mom and Kyra.

Mini walked over with Harper. Who was excited to see you and you were excited to see her as well. She hugged your leg and you picked her up.

"hi harps!" You told her with a smile.

"hi y/n! I Kyra! I Steph!" Harper said. "Y/n! Come Play!" She added. Before you could say anything your mom stepped in.

"hi Harper! Y/n can't Play right now! She was naughty and is grounded now." Your Mom said. Mini looked at you and you Put Harper down.

"uh, kiddo what did you do to make your Mom so mad?" She asked. Kyra was Happy to explain things to Mini.

"stephy caught her smoking a cigarette!" She explained.

"No! Y/n Smoking is Bad!" Harper told you.

"i know! I only tried it once!" You tried to explain.

"you have Asthma! Y/n Harriet Catley! This can literally kill you!" Your Mom answered. She clearly wasn't amused. And honestly you couldn't blame her.

"that was a stupid Idea! Your Mom is right!" Mini let you know.

"i know. It was stupid and i am sorry! But i only literally had one try. I hated it! Won't ever do it again! So i don't See why that is such a big deal and why i need to be grounded!" You answered.

"cause you put yourself in danger and did something that wasn't legal for you! So you are grounded for the next two days. Be thankful it's only for two days and not for all of Camp!" Steph stated.

"sucks to be you!" Kyra replied teasingly. You glared at her.

"Kyra be nice!" Mini said. "Or you will be in trouble as well!" She added. You grinned at that.

"Kyra and y/n are so silly!" Harper answered.

You went to your room. Of course your roommate was Steph. Cause otherwise your Mom couldn't really control what you did ,If you stayed with someone else. Also she probably wants to make sure you are not sneaking off to see Sloane. Your girlfriend and daughter of Caitlin and Katie. Which given you totally would have done. But now both you and Sloane are stuck with a parent.

Later that day you went down to have dinner. Seeing your girlfriend so you wanted to walk over to her but Kyra held you back.

"Steph said not to let you leave my sight until she comes downstairs! So you are stuck with me!" Kyra answered.

"really? Now you want to be responsible?" You asked and rolled your eyes at her. So Sloane walked over to the two of you. Kissing you gently. You kissed her back.

"Love Birds, no kissing. No touching. Y/n is grounded!" Kyra stated. You really wanted to flip Kyra off but your Mom and Mini walked over with Harper so you didn't do it.

"what's wrong?" Sloane asked.

"i am grounded!" You let her know. She was confused.

"why are you grounded?" Your girlfriend wanted to know.

"y/n tried a cigarette!" Harper told Sloane. Sloane reacted with hitting your shoulder.

"y/n Harriet Catley! Are you serious?! You have Asthma! That's so dangerous and stupid!" She told you.

"okay, ouch! I know! I won't do it again!" You answered and rolled your eyes again playfully.

"you better not do that or there won't be any kisses for two weeks!" Sloane stated. You pouted softly.

"noted!" You answered.

"wow! You can do this better then me! Next time she is in trouble i will let you punish her!" Your Mom told your girlfriend.

"i don't think Sloane can survive two weeks without kisses either." Caitlin stated. Looking at her daughter. "But seemed to have worked cause y/n looks like that healed her need to ever try smoking again!" She added. Sloane was blushing a bit.

"i would stop kissing her for two weeks though if she puts herself in danger again!" Sloane told everyone.

"i think y/n won't do it again!" Harper said gently.

"yes Harper is right. Which i already said, i won't do it again! Ever!" You told them and sighed softly.

"so can we please just Play together now?" Harper wanted to know. Looking at your Mom. Steph sighed softly.

"Okay fine! Yes you can go off and have some fun!" Your Mom told you. You high fived Harper and walked off with her and Sloane. There was a Corner with Boardgames and Card Games. So you three sat down and played a round of UNO, before playing some Monopoly. Not being grounded was so much better. Cause now you could actually have fun, play football and spent time with your girlfriend and Harper.

[clockwayswrites]

City Pigeons Bleed Green Part 3

WC: 1861 Masterpost CW: mentions of blood, past experimentation, and torture

Duke tugged the sleeves of the hoodie he had thrown on as he rolled out of bed down over his hands. The Cave was freezing. Usually the temperature was nice. Dressing up in layers of body armor and fighting crime made a person hot and the cool air of the Cave was a relief. When pulled out of bed by an all-hands meeting it was another story and so Duke tucked himself further in the hoodie.

He was pretty sure it wasn’t even his hoodie. This family (and those let into the inner circle) were almost all clothing thieves. Duke had even caught Wally West with his missing Gotham Academy hoodie once. The weird lack of boundaries had taken some getting used to. Seeing various family members naked for decontamination showers or medical procedures helped hurry that along. It was hard to care about who’s hoddie it was was after washing off cuddle pollen together.

The roar of a bike filled the Cave and Duke didn’t even look up. He knew the sound of Red Hood’s bike.

Man, he really had been in this family too long now, he thought and buried his face in his arms. Would they notice if he just went back to sleep?

“Perhaps some tea, Master Duke?”

Guess so.

“Thanks, Alfred,” Duke said and dragged himself properly upright to accept the mug of tea. At least it was warm.

Duke sipped at the tea, his favorite blend of course, as Jason sped into the Cave like the badass bastard he was. He spun his bike to a stop in one of the open spots.

“Hood,” Bruce addressed the other, the Batman™ gravel seeped into his voice even though he was dressed down in sweats, a hoodie Duke was pretty sure was actually Jason’s, and a brace on his wrist.

They all knew what Bruce meant though: report why an all-hands was called, why Tim wasn’t there, did those of them not suited up need to, was anyone they cared about hurt?

“No, old man, you report,” Jason said as he stalked up the steps towards them. “Who the fuck were you fucking fifteen years ago?”

Duke pinched himself to make sure he was actually awake and not still in bed having the most awkward dream. Alright, well, that hurt. So much for being saved from this conversation by the T-rex suddenly coming to life and breathing fire and them having to take it down with squirt guns and pool noodles.

He’d had some weird dreams since coming to live in the manor, alright?

“Um, ask what now, little wing?” Dick asked, looking between Jason and Bruce.

“I asked what I asked,” Jason said. He’d made it to the computer and they all turned obediently to look at the screen. Jason tugged off his helmet and set it down as he leaned against the console. “Who the fuck were you sleeping with at that time, Bruce?”

Bruce stared at Jason for a long moment. “Selina, mostly. Some socialites and such maybe still. What’s going on, Jason?”

“Oracle,” Jason said, not taking his eyes Bruce. “Red should have sent you some media. You’ll get why. Throw something fitting up on the screen.”

Despite what the superhero community and Gotham thought, everyone in the Cave knew that Batman was far from unflappable. They had all pulled one over on him before. But Duke had never seen Bruce looking like that before. As that image went up on the screen, it looked like someone had just shattered his brittle heart into pieces.

Duke couldn’t blame him. The sickly looking guy on the screen made Duke want to go find someone to punch and it wasn’t his face the other was wearing.

“Holy shit,” Steph whispered.

“Father, what is the meaning of this?” Damian ordered.

“Jay?” Dick prompted when Bruce seemed unable to find the words.

Jason scowled down at the ground. “Red and I were on patrol. He noticed… blood.”

Babs brought another image up on the left monitor without prompting. It was a Gotham alley like any other except it was splattered with a green spray.

“That is Lazarus water, that is not blood,” Damian said. His words were as haughty as ever, but there was a wobble under them.

“It’s blood for him,” Jason said. “Trust me. I held the kid as Red stitched him up. Knife wound. It was the only… new wound. Oracle, did Red send you…”

A new image popped up on the left screen and Jason closed his eyes. Duke had to swallow heavily and look away himself. He got now why Jason came in demanding who Bruce had slept with. Bruce’s heart was going to break all over again.

“Who?” Cass signed. Her motion was sharp and aggressive as she pulled her thumb from her chin after the sign.

“We don’t know,” Jason said. “He was jumpy.”

The picture of the horrible injuries was replaced by a video, clearly from Red’s suit. The guy was pressed against the wall, one hand gripped tight over the wet, green stain on his hoodie. He looked dwarfed in it.

“Hey, looks like you could use some help with that wound before you bleed out,” Tim said in the video. Duke could hear how he was keeping his tone carefully light.

“…just who are you supposed to be?” The guy’s voice could barely be heard.

“You must not be from Gotham. I’m Red Robin, one of the heroes here.”

The guy snorted, curling further into himself rather than relaxing at that. “So you’re just going to hand me over to the government then?”

Everyone in the cave stiffened at that, including Jason, which was interesting.

“Why would I do that? I’m a vigilante. Do you know how illegal what I do is? I just don’t want to see you bleed out. Maybe I can even take you to a safe house where you can rest.”

“So that you can interrogate me? No thanks.”

“I mean, I’d like to know who tried to kill a kid, but that’s to make them pay, not you.”

As the guy gave a horrible laugh, Duke reached out and touched Cass’ elbow, reminding her they were all there. These sort of things always hit her hard. She sent him a grateful smile before focusing back on the screen. “Maybe I deserve it.”

The guy tensed suddenly, weight shifting like he was about to bolt as the video slumped slightly sideways.

Jason’s voice rumbled from close to the camera. “You’re what, sixteen?”

“…fifteen?”

“Uncertain,” Cass spoke. Duke had to agree, the guy didn’t know how old he was, not for sure.

“Yeah, no fifteen year old deserves to bleed out. You know who I am?”

Duke tracked the motion of the hood as it slipped. The white hair was curious, considering Bruce, but if the guy was a meta or had been in the Lazarus Pits long enough… or worse, both…

“I’m Red Hood. I protect part of this city called Crime Alley. I’m not afraid to kill a shithead, especially ones that hurt kids, but I never harm a kid,” the Jason of the video said, something they all knew was true. It was an argument still often enough on bad days. “I’ve got places to put you if you needed somewhere safe; places not in the system. Or we can get you somewhere. Do you have a place to go to?”

The guy laughed again. “That’s the thing. I do. I might, I guess. Just no one is going to believe me.”

It was Tim who asked, “Why won’t they believe you? Where do you need to get?”

After the photo earlier, they all knew what the guy would look like when he lifted his head, but it still made Duke glance over at Bruce.

“I need to get to Bruce Wayne.”

-

Jason motioned and the video stopped there and went away.

Bruce closed his eyes.

I need to get to Bruce Wayne.

Another son he didn’t know about. Another son he failed to save from a horrible childhood because he didn’t know they existed.

“He didn’t want to see you right away, but we think that Tim and I convinced him that we could arrange a meeting between you and him,” Jason said.

“Of course,” Bruce answered instantly.

Jason just gave a little nod and explained, “He doesn’t trust the offer, or us, completely. It was enough to get him to the safe house. Passed out on the way.”

“And still asleep,” Tim piped up from the computer. “I’ve been running analysis on the… collar he’s wearing. It’s definitely a one off, but very professionally made. There’s, well, there was a tracker in it that’s been crushed. It’s meant to deliver a shock if someone messes with it, but I can disable that long enough to remove it.”

“You should wait until one of is is there,” Duke spoke up. “Just… in case there’s a reaction when it’s removed.”

Duke ducked his head when all eyes turned to him, still bashful as the newest member of the family. Bruce had been trying to reassure the other, but he knew that was far from his own strength. Clearly he needed to try a different approach.

“Just, you know, he’s clearly a meta? Of some type? It’s probably a containment collar and it could release a, you know, backlog? Of power?”

“Good thinking,” Bruce assured Duke.

“Someone better get here quick then. I hate seeing this thing on him,” Tim grumbled. At least he agreed.

Bruce looked back at the photo still on the center screen to the pale, drawn face. Even in sleep his son’s face was etched with pain.

“Bruce?” Dick prompted.

Bruce took a breath and made himself focus, to be Batman, not a grieving father. How often had he had to make that choice? “Dick, you and Jason both should go. Tim, as soon as the collar is off I want you and Oracle working on it but stay mindful of traps.”

“Will do,” Tim replied.

“And what of the rest of us?” Damian asked.

His youngest had come so far, but Bruce knew this would be a big disruption for him. They would have to watch him. He caught Cass’ eyes and she gave the slightest nod.

“I want Robin, Batgirl, and Spoiler out on the streets. Don’t ask questions yet, we don’t want to lead anyone to him, but get a sense of the mood around the big players. If this is already on anyone’s radar, I want to know.”

“And you need to make a list,” Jason said. “Kid talked in his sleep, begged his mom to stop. Could just be nightmares…”

“I’ll make one,” Bruce said. His bedroom proclivities were hardly what the papers reported, but with how this new son wasn’t certain of his age, it could be pre-Dick, or even at the start of Dick joining the family. It certainly meant there would be more names then any of the years later on. Whoever it was though, Bruce would find them.

He had to try and do that much for his son.

--- AN: Not entirely sure about Bruce's part here, but he's always harder for me to write! I think goal is to get at least one POV with all of the kids, so I guess Dick's is next likely! I'm super fuzzy today (fatigue, day fuck it, seven? Eight? Of this headache), so I hope this is at least decent~

Stay delightful, darlings!

I no longer tag, but you can subscribe to the masterpost to be notified!

[everwalldigan]

How id judge you based on your favourite FANON version of the batfamily characters

Bruce Wayne: as a self proclaimed Bruce Wayne connoisseur and lover of him in all his forms… this is the fairest one to like out of all of them. My guilty pleasure is treating myself to happy fanon fics after seeing him tortured murdered and revived again strapped to an explosive device attacked by banana man, tied up, roundhouse trip to hell, broken up with his 50th situationship that just tried to k him and lastly like a cherry on top of this shit sundae, made to give his kids a knuckle sandwich for dinner for. Whatever godforsaken reason. so yeah. I get this one. Although this good dad characterisation of him is found especially abundantly in pre crisis comics…just saying…

Dick Grayson: oh brother don’t get me started. DONT GET ME STARTED. Easily top 3 worst fanon characterisations for me. If I have to read “dick is so eldest daughter coded” I might just take my toaster out for a walk to the nearest bridge. Another case of an upbeat and quippy character being reduced to a drooling happy little sunshine baby with no thoughts behind his eyes. Either that or he’s Satan personified who threw poor little timmy in Arkham and only visits him occasionally to spit on him and then leave with his evil precious little baby Damian. (Do you see the common denominator in these yet) And the worst part is? The worst part is? The happy airhead characterisation has been made. CANON. Thank god it’s over but AT WHAT COST??? AT WHAT COST??? IM BLAMING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FOR NOTHING BUTT NIGHTWING I HOPE YOURE HAPPY WITH YOURSELVES.

Jason Todd: both spectrums of how he’s portrayed are equally as horrible. Why must we have either the brutish headless chicken needlessly violent (cough. Arguably classist) portrayal or the uwu🥺🥺 everyone hates me🥺🥺 for absolutely NO reason at all🥺🥺 I need to adopt baby Timmy🥺🥺 to make up for my crimes🥺🥺 portrayal. May I introduce something called the middle ground. You don’t need to operate in extremes pookie, people usually have more than one character trait it’s alright🩷. i need fanon Jason to be banned from titans tower. And the colour green. As a whole. No green for him. And also from the “enemy to caretaker” tag. Free him. Although with this one his canon portrayal is sometimes (a lot of times) on par with the fanon in terms of horrible characterisation… so if his fanon characterisation is your fav… well its not like canon gets a gold star from me either so. Go ahead. I guess. Just stop with the classism and we don’t have an issue🩷

Barbara Gordon: worst offence I’ve seen is making her Bruce’s daughter as is often done with Steph. First of all she has a father. An alive father. Who loves her and started a whole war for her. Second of all. If you told her she’s Batmans daughter she’s throwing herself into the Gotham harbour. Please stop. And the usual making her an accessory to a Batboy and stripping her of everything interesting just to make her Nightwings airheaded girlfriend. Then again. That’s also been canonised thanks to my FAVOURITE author (sarcasm) T*m T*ylor so. As you can see we are not doing well and haven’t been since they made her batgirl again. Burn the burnside suit. Ironically the women have mostly been able to avoid especially egregious mischaracterisations (apart from making them two dimensional flavourless paper cutouts) through the fandoms misogyny um I mean DISINTEREST in them, considering that Cass, Steph and Barbara COMBINED have less than 1/5 fics under their character centric tags than Tim Drake so. Ironically by being forgotten they could escape the fate of being so grossly mischaracterised they are virtually unrecognisable. With the price of being mentioned once and tossed aside in favour of centring The Batboys. Go figure

Cassandra Cain: …really? You actually LIKE what they’ve done to her in fanon? My beautiful ruthlessly honest hilarious without even trying babygirl princess… she’s been ending people verbally and physically the moment she could speak and they made her the quiet Asian girl stereotype… They took her wings… If you honestly like the version of Cass that’s a cardboard cutout bland boiled chicken version of herself and a lot of the time just lazily included for the sake of avoiding being labelled a misogynist… alright…😟 just know you’re missing out on peak that is canon Cass. Read batgirl 2000. Goody two shoes rule following Cass isn’t real she won’t hurt me

Tim Drake: this is undeniably the worst and most infamous one. Because his mischaracterisation in fanon doesn’t only affect him but. Every. Single. Person. Around him. If you genuinely like the way he’s characterised to make him the helpless noodle armed noodle legged victim of all the evil demons that surround him then… idk what to say other than please start reading comics. Please. One correctly selected storyline per character is enough. PLEASE. The way literally everyone I know hates his mischaracterisation in fanon, fans and haters alike. I could write entire essays on the damage that portrayal has done to the entire batfamily not just him. Idk how people managed to do it, it’s honestly an award worthy feat. Yeah if you like this one I can with full confidence say you do not like a single batfamily character but rather the caricature versions of them that evolved from satans asshole.

Damian Wayne: easily one of worst cases cause this one is sometimes so racist I feel like I’m looking at straight anti Arab propaganda post 9/11. What are we doing. I’ve seen people draw him in CAGES, say that “Jon tamed him” like he’s some kind of animal instead of a human being and the way #some of you villainised him when he whole ass traumatised 10 year old child is just. Wow. Comes on par with the previous persons characterisation because FOR SOME REASON… the worst portrayals of Damian are always paired with #him. Don’t even get me started on the portrayal of the other Al-ghuls. I think I might kill myself before we even finish

Stephanie brown: another case of mostly forgotten or just included for the sake of not being labelled a misogynist. I feel like out of everyone she’s lowkey has it the… I wouldn’t say best… but okayest in fanon. Apart from the usual making her A Batkids Keychain, two dimensionally stupid (as is the norm with any upbeat character😐 especially women😐) or… shudders in horror... Bruce’s daughter… I haven’t seen portrayals that are as blatantly offensive as some of the others on the list, though it could be that I was just spared those horrors by being lucky enough to not have encountered those dark corners of the fandom. Overall very tame though you’re very welcome to share your horror stories with her fanon portrayal because I am sure there are a lot. Her canon portrayal now is. Bad enough. Don’t even remind me of how they made her be towards Bernard and Tim cause I fear I will throw up. She should be allowed to throw stones at all of their heads as enrichment

Duke Thomas: same problem as Cass’. Being toned down to a two dimensional goody-two-shoes who follows all the rules like the innocent angel he is!! Totally not because people only include him to avoid being called racist and not make an effort to learn what he’s actually like so they default to the safest characterisation: nothing!!!! Man I love the way any character that’s not a white man is portrayed in fandoms!!! If you like this version of duke im confused on what you like exactly cause it’s so far removed from his canon characterisation it’s insane. Like the sheer bigotry in picking the most complex characters and making them two dimensional rule following goody two shoes to avoid GOD FORBID having to actually put them in your plots and portray them correctly just because they’re not white men is. Yeah. I’m tired of this. Then again the white men aren’t even portrayed correctly so nobody is having fun but AT LEAST THEYRE THERE!!!!

Alfred Pennyworth: listen. I’m not saying he doesn’t have his good moments where he’s a decent father/grandfather figure. but let’s not act like he’s this innocent faultless angel frail old man who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life and has been the best father figure in existence. He is NOT. I’m tired of all of you acting scandalised when someone dares to not like him for VERY good reasons. But I guess liking his fanon characterisation is comparatively not as bad as some of the others so. You get a pass

Kate Kane: I don’t think fanon even knows she exists so there isn’t much of a “fanon version” to like. Although Im sure she’s probably mischaracterised whenever someone shoehorns her cardboard cutout into their fics to fill their 25% women quota but it’s not as wide spread as say Cass or Steph’s mischaracterisations.

At least from what I’ve personally seen as this is a subjective opinion about the way Batman characters are often portrayed in fandom.