#i cant explain this one else it will be a paragraph... someone please get it (crying)

[zzzenmui]

Mahoyaku Mafia (KHR) AU

- Varia’s side; Former Partners -

[no-more-rqs]

AGREE 100000% ON THE DISSOMEI THING finally someone said it

im glad people agree lol, honestly most people seemed to completely misunderstand my post (to the point where i got a hate ask calling me a xenosatanist and telling me to kill myself) so im glad at least some people understand

the "i hate rqs and transids you all SUCK and are BAD!!!!!" on every single post:

1, pushes away anyone considering alternative terms and forces them to stay in radqueer communities because you (not at anon) are telling them that they are horrible people supporting horrible things (even if thats not your intended message)

2, is very triggering to many people recovering from radqueer/transid communities*, and if they have nowhere else to go without being extremely triggered every time they try to participate in radqueer communities theyll end up going back to those communities because often those are the only communities where they felt a (false) sense of safety and security

3, comes off as self-righteous and holier than thou, which pushes even more people away and towards the radqueer community because transid/radqueer communities are much chiller when it comes to things like this instead of having shit tons of posts that say "im BETTER for not giving into dysphoria youre a BAD person and im a GOOD person" (obviously im not saying "faking races/disorders is good!!!!" im just saying that many people act like theyre morally superior to people struggling and faking things out of desperation**)

*please god the anti-radqueer community needs to realize that a lot of ex-radqueers' experiences arent just "i saw people saying kids can consent and identifying as transharmful and it made me really upset". yes that can be damaging, however, there are many people who have gone through far worse, often to the point where they cant see any mentions of radqueers or transids without having panic attacks. there are people who have been sexually assaulted, threatened, stalked, or even raped or violently abused in the radqueer community, and to just tell those people "well you need to get over it because telling radqueers to fuck off on every unrelated post makes me happy" is extremely insensitive and disgusting. you are not making a community for those with atypical dysphoria if you do that. many people discovered they had atypical dysphoria in the rq community, and have very severe trauma from the community. the dissomei community is not safe for those with atypical dysphoria.

**anti-radqueer (and dissomei by extent) communities have constructed this idea that any dysphoria that isnt gender dysphoria is easy to deal with and very minor. honestly, many peoples idea of "atypical dysphoria" isnt dysphoria at all (but at the same time, you have to have dysphoria or else youre a horrible person for "wanting to be" a different race). for one, dysphoria can be extremely debilitating: i have a friend who is a trans man and seoracial, and his racial dysphoria is almost always more intense and difficult than his gender dysphoria. its gotten better since i coined the term "seoracial" (i actually coined it partially to help him) and helped him, but that race dysphoria will probably always be there in some capacity (as it is for many trans people as well).

dissomei terms almost always have a very big paragraph on every post that explains how youre not allowed to transition because transitioning is harmful, with one or two sentences at the end saying "if youre doing it respectfully its okay though!". not only is this useless and at times offensive when put on posts where transitioning would be perfectly fine, its even more useless when put on posts where transitioning wouldnt be fine. using my example of race, nowhere does it explain what is and isnt "racial transitioning", only stating that its bad. this is extremely unhelpful and actively harmful because it portrays any form of relieving dysphoria as "racial transitioning (bad and horrible)" because it doesnt explain what that actually is. i made sure to include examples and explanations in my coining post for seoracial because nuance is extremely important when extreme dysphoria can be life or death for some people. acting like youre morally superior to people who faked their race because they didnt know of any other option is incredibly insensitive and rude, and this is a problem with the entire anti-radqueer community (im including dissomei in the anti-radqueer community because, as ive said previously, its just a subgroup of anti-radqueers and not really an overall atypical dysphoria community).

[wavesmp3]

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding. 

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that) 

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing... 

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who 

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute 

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long 

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter 

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up 

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized 

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me 

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be 

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth. 

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me 

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about 

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” /  “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi 

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg 

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad 

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears 

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much 

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft 

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.”  it hurts so bad im sorry 

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!”  I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.” 

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b 

this whole part... chills bro 

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works 

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah 

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much 

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao 

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

is this Devyn's blog?

hey anon, i'm sorry it took me so long to respond to this; between insomnia, work, my birthday, and other personal issues (along with accidentally deleting my initial response in a sleep-deprived lapse of judgement..), i've been pretty low on energy - but hopefully i'll be feeling better soon?

as for your question, it isn't a complete yes or no answer. yes, Devyn is a mod on this blog, and yes, he posts a lot; but nobody 'owns' this blog. all mods are equals; both in the literal sense that we all have to have administrator privileges in order to answer asks, and also that we rely on each other to help with anything we post. we're all human, and as such, we know that we have weaknesses and blindspots; as a team, we talk to each other to help smooth over some of those wrinkles to help y'all the best ways that we can - so even when one specific person's name is put on a post, more often than not, we have all contributed in some way. the reason that Devyn answers things more often than the rest of us is because he simply has a lot more time and energy than the rest of us do, and trying to write a whole response ourselves can be exhausting when you are already low on energy; but conveying our thoughts or opinions to each other for someone else to weave into a post takes a lot less energy. as such, the rest of us on the mod team really appreciate that Devyn is able to answer more often! its not that Devyn is more committed or holds more power than the rest of the mods, just that he's been more available to answer things recently.

and as a side note: we got another ask somewhat along this line of thought, but it mentioned the name of someone who made personal posts on their personal blog - and since i don't want to risk 'calling them out' (for lack of a better term), i don't feel comfortable posting that ask, so i'm adding my response to it here.

i want to start off by saying, we do appreciate when people bring up concerns that they have! giving us feedback on things that might make you uncomfortable or bother you helps us learn how to better help y'all. without feedback, we kinda just assume that we're doing alright - so encourage anyone to give us constructive feedback (i.e., dont just say something like "i dont like [thing] about mod x, fix it" - give us suggestions on how to best fix it!) if something we do bothers you! we wont be upset; you mentioning how we can better help you means that you do care about us, and we would never get upset at y'all for that. and, as such, we do really appreciate that you brought up your issues with us! genuinely our only issue was the fact a specific person was named (which really isnt even an issue - telling us who made the posts helped us find the posts, since we hadnt previously known about them) and we just don't want to inadvertently cause problems for them. we really dont think you had meant to purposefully cause strife, so please dont think we're upset with you!

as for your ask, i get why you would feel that way. Devyn tends to answer a lot and doesn't cushion his answers as much as some of us do, but it isn't due to him not caring or simply wanting the inbox empty - Devyn does care a lot about answering things well, he just prefers to get to the point rather than writing out giant walls of text. rather than try to explain things for Devyn, i'm gonna let him finish up the post by explaining his method for answering asks - i dont want to accidentally say anything that isnt true, but i can guarentee that Devyn does care. if he didn't care, he wouldn't still be here - he does care for all of you, and he does want to help! if he didn't, he wouldn't be putting in the effort that he has been to change how he responds to things in a way that won't upset or trigger people, and he wouldn't put in the effort to try and get input from the rest of us mods. please, do let us know if there's anything else we can do moving forward to help things feel less bad for you. we don't want anyone to feel like they cant be helped or that we dont care for them.

mod berry 💗

---

Hey anon.

I wanted to make sure I also answered this in case you were looking for an answer from me directly.

Originally I had a few paragraphs here essentially echoing what Berry said, but it felt too repetitive and I ended up cutting it out.

We had another ask that we mentioned we're tacking the response to on here. I'm going to copy-paste some of the text from it for context since y'all obviously haven't (and won't) see it, so that my response makes sense:

[...] we wrote in and got a quick response from Devyn whereas previously we got really detailed responses from other mods. It felt like Devyn just sees it as a rush to clear the inbox and not work with other mods. And now this blog feels like his exclusively.

I want to start by saying I understand how how I was pretty much the only one who answered anything during September made you feel like this blog is mine exclusively, but I assure you that's not the case - it just happened to be a particularly shitty month for all the mods here. While those issues haven't disappeared, we should have more availability to answer asks currently.

Secondly, something I think will be helpful is if I walk you through the process of how I answer an ask. I was going to use this one to do that and then proceeded to get distracted and forgot and answered it, so here's a fake example ask. Let's say this ask comes in:

Let's say the question is something any of us can answer easily, like, "How many followers do you have?" That's an easy question and we can all look at our follower count and give you a number. So I click answer.

I always start answering genuine asks with some sort of greeting. Usually "Hey anon," is my go-to. Then the answer. "Oh, we have this many." Then I'll end with a well-wish and my name. Easy enough.

I think part of the issue is that if people ask yes or no questions (like "is my trauma valid?") I'd rather say something short in response, like, "Yes, your trauma is valid regardless of what it is," and sign my name than waste our readers' time and my breath answering with extra words. I just don't see the point in using more words than I need to. I try very hard to make it clear, especially in shorter responses, that I'm not trying to be hostile and am actively aware of my tone. Some answers have more words in them because I always try to make sure to explain what I feel could be misunderstood and that's not always easily done in one or two sentences.

Another thing that might be part of the issue is that Berry, for example, tends to answer asks by grouping paragraphs after which they hit enter only once, and I hit enter twice to start a new paragraph. That doesn't mean Berry's answer has any more actual content in it than mine does, it just might look like that because the format ends up looking more dense in Berry's answer.

Anyway, if someone feels like they want to answer a certain ask but doesn't have the spoons, they can save it with their name to the drafts, which is where a lot of our unpublished asks live. It's like the purgatory of the ask box, because sometimes I put an ask there and sometimes I only think about it. 😬

Asks that go to our drafts aren't ignored, that's just sort of a transition period. If the ask is slightly more complicated, we usually discuss it first in the mod Discord - which you guys obviously can't see. Sometimes if we collaborate on an ask, whoever sees it in the ask box first is the one who ends up answering it, but not always. But we usually just sign those with a single name for sake of ease. If we put all the names of all the mods who contributed any thought to an ask, most of them would have all of our names on them. Also, it's not necessarily accurate to sign my name to an ask if all I'm commenting on is the tone of an ask. Sure, I technically contributed, but I didn't say anything helpful.

If multiple people have thoughts on an ask, usually what we do is one person answers it and the others reblog with their thoughts. This ask is an exception because last time we answered an ask specifically about me that way, it escalated the situation, and we're trying to avoid that.

If none of us know how to answer an ask, we'll usually publish it for our followers' input after a week. I try to follow up about asks that are in drafts pretty often, so usually they don't sit there for a month, but like we've said multiple times, this month has been a bit of an outlier for all of us.

So essentially what I'm saying is that just because you don't see active ask collaboration happening doesn't mean it's not. It all happens in the Discord and, unless you're also a mod in our server, you're not going to see that discussion happening.

Hopefully this helps with the misunderstandings.

Mod Devyn

[carmenxjulia]

do you ever just think about how carmen's first reaction after hearing julia's voice in the fashion caper went from mild surprise to a smile? or how after she quickly disarmed julia, she gently put her gun back in her coat. or how carmen grabbed julia's hand? or how she made julia iin charge of her group despite barely knowing her? im still thinking about it and i cant fully explain why these small moments are so good? can you, please?

Absolutely. You’re talking to a person who created a 20,000 word fanfic based on a 45 second interaction. You want a Carmen and Julia analysis? I’d say you’ve come to the right place.

Yes, I do think about that scene a lot.

Let us begin.

Last season, Carmen and Julia interacted for less than a single minute. In that time, Carmen came to know and trust her enough to pass off the Magna Carta to her for safekeeping. And Julia got to have a real conversation with someone who was an international criminal and by some, might have even been branded as dangerous.

But Julia had always believed in her innocence and clung to the idea that there was more to each theft that most people didn’t see. Carmen leaving the Magna Carta was solid proof towards her theory that Carmen was one of the good guys. And it was a show of goodwill, a symbol of trust, that Carmen was banking on Julia doing the right thing and not taking full credit for its safe return (at least among her colleagues).

Then we get to season 2. Julia has, almost inexplicably, doubled down on her insistence that Carmen Sandiego is doing good in the world and is not actually a criminal at all. From the very first moment that we see her, she is trying prove her innocence. She asks Chase to wake up so that he can clear her name. She tries everything she can to wake him, and we as the audience are made to think it’s because she is concerned for his well-being… until the scene ends with, “we need you to tell us that she did not do this to you.”

Now, while I’m sure Julia would never wish death or permanent damage to Chase, she’s not trying to wake him because she particularly cares about him. He was rude and selfish and constantly dismissed her and yeah, Julia is the type of person who would still care after all that (refer to the first sentence of this paragraph), but it’s really really important to recognize that she’s not there for him. She’s there on behalf of Carmen.

So, what does that have to do with “The Fashionista Caper”?

We, the audience, are privy to Julia’s private conversations with Chief and other members of A.C.M.E. We get to see her defending Carmen, over and over, in the episodes leading up to episode 4. It’s not just speculation anymore! In Season 1, Julia had her theories, but was actively open to being proven wrong when provided with evidence to the contrary of her hunches. In Season 2, she is certain she’s right, and she stands by her belief that Carmen is good.

Carmen doesn’t see/hear any of that. She has literally no idea Julia has been defending her behind her back. No idea just how hard Julia has been fighting to clear her name with A.C.M.E. Not a single clue how conflicted Julia actually is, with having a job to do versus wanting to stand by the facts right in front of her.

She doesn’t see Julia again after the train incident (“The Chasing Paper Caper”) until they meet in Italy (”The Fashionista Caper”). All Carmen knows is that Julia is not as hellbent on catching her as Chase was, and that the Magna Carta were returned safely.

We, the audience, have a front row seat to watch Julia go from shaky theories to boldly proclaiming Carmen Sandiego is not who everyone thinks she is, despite seeming to be the only person who actually believes that.

Legitimately, Carmen has very little reason to trust Julia other than a gut feeling. There is no explanation for not only roping her into the caper, but immediately giving Julia her gun back and fully trusting she wouldn’t use it. Any other agent would have ignored Carmen’s request for help and gassed her right then and there. Carmen just inherently knows Julia is different.

We actually see an example of this just a few moments earlier. When Agent Zari tells Carmen to freeze, Carmen sets the gun off and turns it on her right away. When Julia shows up and demands more or less the same thing, the two have a little back and fourth banter. Carmen, no doubt, notes Agent Argent’s hesitation.

Carmen’s surprise no doubt came from her not expecting another agent, or at least, not expecting an agent to give her a chance to respond. Whereas Zari wasn’t afraid to get up close and point the gun directly at her face, Julia is standing quite far off. It probably took Carmen a moment to register who was speaking to her, and once she realized it was Julia, she relaxed, and smiled.

Julia helped her before, with the Magna Carta. So, why not seek her help more directly? Test the waters with the one agent who was willing to give her the time of day.

Not only that, but undoubtedly Carmen was re-formulating her plan to include Julia in it, right at that very moment. Honestly, the whole thing went far better with 4 people instead of the initial 3 (Carmen, Ivy, and Zack). So Carmen was probably like ‘oh hey that very reasonable agent from the train that I can probably count on to help me out if I also present myself as a sane and reasonable person.’ And then it actually worked.

But we can dissect this small change in her expression even further. Carmen is genuinely happy to see her/hear her voice. Not just because she knows Julia is raw and untrained and easily disarmed, no. Upon their first meeting, Carmen gave her the nickname “Jules”. In fact, Carmen has literally never spoken her full name, “Julia”. Even when passing off leadership in front of Ivy and Zack, Carmen still sticks to the Jules nickname. She doesn’t do this with anyone else. (Sure, Player is “Player”, but that’s purely upon his own request.) Maybe this is a reach, but, it feels like this indicates a completely different type of relationship and level of intimacy that Carmen shares with Julia and no one else.

Getting back on track.

Carmen probably took her hand as an extra precaution to prevent Julia from deciding to whip out her gun again. I mean, sure, it was also faster and easier to lead her by holding her hand. But also consider that the gun was holstered against her left hip, making it awkward to try to maneuver around her jacket with her left hand to try and grab it. With her right hand occupied, it would have taken too long for her to pull it out again, even if she’d tried. Honestly, taking her hand was the most practical action in this scenario, even if it was a bit intimate. It doesn’t have to mean anything, but it can.

It is also worth noting that although Julia believes Carmen is on the same side as A.C.M.E., she is probably rightfully confused starting from the moment Carmen takes her gun and then doesn’t gas her.

Julia’s orders from A.C.M.E. were to capture Carmen Sandiego in order to protect the Medici gowns. So when it turned out Carmen wasn’t planning to take the gowns, Julia had to decide that saving the dresses overruled the order to capture Carmen. The original mission she was given changed in a matter of seconds, making her have to pick a priority (Carmen or dresses). It also gave her an opportunity to work with Carmen and show A.C.M.E. she’d been right all along. But Julia, much like Carmen, had to trust her gut about this woman she barely knew, but had the utmost faith in.

As far as putting Julia in charge of getting the gowns to safety, that was probably the easiest decision of the evening for either of them. Carmen already knows Julia is one of the good guys. She doesn’t need to question her motives, at all. Not only that, but as mentioned above, Julia had already proven she could be trusted by ensuring the safe return of the Magna Carta.

Carmen knew V.I.L.E. wouldn’t be far behind, and dividing her attention could have been disastrous for the mission overall. I mean, she’s Carmen Sandiego, so, she could have probably handled it. But it was a much smarter move to put Julia in charge. She knew that Ivy and Zack were better at taking orders than giving them. She knew Player wouldn’t be able to coordinate well enough from his location. Carmen needed someone on the ground, right there, right then. Julia was available.

One final piece of this scene, that although it was not mentioned in the original ask, I feel is worth noting. Julia is actively worried about Carmen Sandiego’s safety. She outright asks, “what about you?” when Carmen instructs the others to get the gowns to safety. Why should she care? Her mission, saving the  Medici’s, is about to be complete. She’s about to really and truly prove herself to A.C.M.E. by being the agent responsible for saving the gowns. And yet she pauses, wanting to ensure Carmen is safe before she goes anywhere. A person that is supposed to be her enemy, although Julia has never truly believed that.

This is followed by Carmen pushing Julia back, not only urging her to leave with the gowns and Carmen’s own team, but moving her further away from danger as well as physically putting her body between Julia and potential harm. There are smashing sounds coming from the ceiling; clearly something bad is on its way. As usual, Carmen puts the safety of her friends before her own, which is a completely new experience for Julia. She is getting to see a caring and protective side of the super thief, one she was previously unaware of. Even for someone she barely knows, she’s willing to put her life on the line to save that of someone else.

And finally, even after Julia runs after Ivy and Zack, she turns back one last time to see how Carmen is doing. She doesn’t want to leave her behind, but ultimately realizes she has no choice. She certainly wouldn’t be any use in a fight. Plus, her number one objective is to save the gowns. Carmen Sandiego is probably going to get away. But the items she was sent to protect are now in A.C.M.E. hands. Job well done.

But Julia is left with the knowledge that Carmen Sandiego played an integral part in the success of the mission. She and Zari could not have saved the gowns alone (especially with the knowledge that Carmen was being attacked). Carmen Sandiego did in fact steal things- but it was to get the jump on another person or organization before they could do so themselves, smuggling the valuables away and returning them at a later date. Just as was the pattern Carmen laid out in Season 1.

Julia not only had her long-standing theory validated, but she got to see just how self-sacrificing Carmen could be. Putting herself in harms way while everyone else was encouraged to find somewhere safer. For someone labeled as a criminal, that was probably completely unexpected. Among a multitude of other unexpected things that had just happened. But that one may have been the most surprising.

All in all, there is a lot to say about this scene, and I could honestly go through it frame by frame and write a comprehensive essay. But hopefully this will sufficiently answer your query, and if not, feel free to send another ask.

[kryptsune]

Hi you are an amazing writer i was wondering if you have any tips on salvaging a story that was derailed by a brain fart cause uh i was writing a short story that turned out to be longer and harder to read for anyone thats not myself and now i cant barely look at it... so can i have tips or advice please?

🌼Sorry for the late reply on this I wanted to be able to take the time to give you my own personal advice. First of all, thank you for the kind words :D I am so happy that you enjoy my writing. 

Tips tips tips. Well, there are a couple of things you can do and I have personally done myself. If you feel as though a story has gotten out of hand there is nothing wrong with that at all. I never planned to have either Felldritch or Wonderfell having their own fics in the first place but I enjoy writing for them so much that it was a logical progression. It is difficult for me to assess your personal investment in the project and from what I am reading it seems you no longer are passionate about it?  The truth of the matter is that writing has to be something you enjoy in order to do stories. Sure you can pump out chapter after chapter but it won’t have that spark and why would you put yourself through that suffering in the first place? Sometimes stories are hard to read for others just because of their personality. I have a lot of friends that enjoy my work but haven’t read the story because it is massive. That is something I am keenly aware of often. Welcome to the Underworld is not for the faint of heart or for casual readers and I understand that. It’s not for everyone. I appreciate it when people at least try, however, it is a good way for me to gauge interest at the very least. 

I will break this into 3 parts. The first will be revaluating your current story/project and the second will be things you can do that might make it easier for your readers if you still feel you want to continue it and lastly what you can do to possibly get that passion back if so you can “look at it again.” 1. Evaluating your project: As artists and creatives, we tend to latch onto our work because we put our own personal investment into it. I usually use the analogy that it is like our child and it can be difficult to care for sometimes and yet rewarding at others. This is the first thing you want to do if you are working on a project. Always evaluate. Do you enjoy it anymore?  Do you feel stuck? Is it just not going the way you want it to? Writer's block maybe? All of these can be factors into why you may not enjoy it any longer. 

I felt this with WTU for the longest time and now looking back on it...it was for the wrong reasons. I felt that no one wanted to read it after hours upon hours of writing and editing. It made me sad and I didn’t understand why. The thing is I have changed my mindset when it comes to this. It is hard for me to accurately gauge who reads my work without some kind of feedback but I have a goal. I set out to write an extensive and world built Fell verse and I am going to do it. It’s important to me and it is rewarding just to know that I can do a project as large as the three acts of WTU. Ask yourself why are you writing the story? What are your roadblocks? This will help you come to a decision. 

2. Easing the Readers: If you read my writing you will notice I have a tendency to write a fair bit. Every chapter of WTU ranges from about 15-20 pages of text 11 point font in google docs. That is a lot. I actually have not gone and calculated the word count on it but yeah, a lot. There are simple things you can do however to make the reading a little more digestible for people. 

a. Formating: I never had a problem with reading large blocks of text. That was how I was taught in middle and high school. That said others struggle with large blocks because it makes it difficult to read from a visual perspective (the irony that I am using block text right now). What you can do is break up your paragraphs more often. I have started to do this with older WTU chapters seeing as there are a lot of text blocks. It is a simple and relatively hassle-free way to make it easier. 

b. Pacing: I am by no means the expert of fics however there are some things that I notice in fics that tend to pop up quite frequently. I am not saying to change these things by any means but to evaluate and possibly adjust when needed. PACING. I can’t tell you how many stories I have read with poor or confusing pacing. What I mean by this is that the story is either holding too long in a certain scene or there is no breathing room. WTU and a lot of my fics have dark undertones to them which creates drama and emotional payoff, however, doing this constantly and throwing problem after problem into a story is hard to swallow. The readers need a break. This can be anything from levity to simple character interactions. Not everything is fights or angst. 

This also goes for fics that have none of the former as well. There are so many that are a slice of life and that is fine! Enjoy your cute fluffy fics that said if there is no conflict then what is the point of continuing to read the story? What is holding my investment? Sure the characters can be written well but the point of storytelling is connection. A perfect butterflies and rainbows story is all well and good but you can’t connect to it. That is not how life is. (I am pontificating a little bit but I am honestly really tired of having to explain to people that my fics are M for a reason. No NSFW stuff but rather real-life mental and psychological and emotional situations.)

c. Characters: This kind of also ties into what I was talking about before. A flawless character... is a boring one. Some of peoples favorite characters are the villains, why? Because unlike their heroic counterparts they feel real. They go through things and make their own path. If they just chose differently then things would be different. A lot of times (and no offense to fandom) I find that people make stereotypes of a character. It’s all surface-level stuff. Think about what makes you, you. What have you gone through that causes you to think a certain way or react to things? Our lives are made up of experiences and moments and characters are the exact same way. Most don’t realize this since I hint it throughout the story but everything tells a story. The character's costumes tell a story whether that be the place they live of their own personal style. Why does my Red wear a collar with a seemingly half-broken, fused, and burned chain link? I don’t know... you tell me. 

It’s a storytelling technique called breadcrumbing. This is used to hint to some sort of plot or payoff. A foreshadowing at times. It is an incredibly useful and engaging tool if done properly. I would use my “why does Red do what he does” example but its been beaten to death so I will use Boss as my example instead.   

Boss is the Head of Royal Guard having bested Undyne a long time ago but not everyone was happy with the change of the Guard and that is communicated in character dialogue. In fact, you can use this method to hint to character connections as well. Boss has claw marks in both his scarf and his left eye socket. So.... who could do that kind of damage? If you have read the story *mild Snowdin spoiler* Frisk meets Doggo. An Australian cattle dog-wolf mix that has no love for the current Captain. He was tossed out of the Royal Guard after altercation... maybe attacking a certain lanky skeleton perhaps? It’s not directly stated but certain visual ques could lead someone to that kind of assumption. 

Intertwine your characters, their relationships, their life events. All of this will create far more dynamic storytelling and investment.

d. Planning: Returning back to potential writers' block... I find that something that personally helps me is outlining. I have all of my stories planned out from beginning to end while the middle can be moved around accordingly. That said in every single chapter I outline the main points I want to communicate. It helps with the organization but also keeping your thoughts on track. If you feel you need an extra chapter for character development then you can totally plan that out. Don’t be afraid to change things. It’s your story do what you feel is best for it! 

e. Editors/betas/outside eyes: This is a huge one and can be a little challenging at first. It is helpful to have others look at the work. Those that you trust. Have them look for grammar or even pacing and character inconsistencies. It can be hard to get a critique on your work that you love so much however this makes you far better writer IF IT COMES FROM A REPUTABLE SOURCE. 

I need to clarify this as you cannot please everyone. I have rejected critiques from my beta readers in the past, not because I think I know better but because even they can’t account for your overall thought process. What they think is superfluous may come to have a payoff later on and it needs to be in there for that payoff. That can be anything from character development to plot.  You have to be strong in your conviction. Say yes and no when appropriate and always be kind to your readers. They are taking time out of their lives to help you with your work. The same goes for the betas. Be respectful and kind when giving CONSTRUCTIVE feedback and don’t be offended when the author does not agree. 

3. Breaking the Block: Breaking any kind of block is not easy. In fact, it is a constant nuisance in any creative field. That said there are some simple things that you can do to help. The best example I can give is taking a break. That can range from person to person but generally, sometimes you work on something for so long you need to set it aside and look at it with fresh and new eyes. It is ok to take breaks, hiatus, or just work on something else for your own mental well being. Here are a few things you can do to utilize your break effectively.  a. Don’t even look at it: Some people just need to get away from it all which is totally understandable. I would be farther along in my own fics if I did not break so much but I am determined to put my best foot forward even if it takes me longer. I am also an artist in the drawing and painting sense so I juggle that as well. If you notice my blog right now there has not been much going on in the way of writing because I’ve switched gears. There is nothing wrong with that but I pick my battles. 

b. Work on another project: There is nothing wrong with working on something else just for a change of pace. We are not machines and therefore monotony breeds complacency or burn out in this case. One of the reasons I have 2 other fics is because sometimes I hop from project to project. I know not everyone can mentally do that but it helps me recharge for the main project that I feel worn out on. 

People have also been wondering where TLC (Tender Love and Care) my Red X Frisk fic has been. The truth is that fic is my downtime fic. I do it when I am able to. In fact, as I work on my multiverse boys references lately I have been working on the second chapter of TLC because its a nice change of pace from doing something like Felldritch or the other two.

c. A little at a time:  Any type of project can be overwhelming so taking chunks of it at a time helps compartmentalize it a little easier. Try to write as much as you can a day. It’s not much but by the end of the week, boom, your chapter is done. 

You shouldn’t push yourself or beat yourself up either. I find that I always feel guilty about taking some leisure time because I could be creating more content but that’s unhealthy. Take the time you need and enjoy your games or books. I personally am enjoying the heck out of Animal Crossing right now. 

All in all, I hope some of these tips help a little. Since I do not know what you are working on or why you feel the way you do about it. It is hard for me to give direct advice. What I can say out of all of this is enjoy what you are making. Enjoy the journey and the process. At the end of the day, it is your investment and if you don’t enjoy it what is the point?

 It is nice to get feedback on things, trust me I know sometimes it feels like pulling teeth, and there are clear signs of burn out. We are not art machines, give it some time, reflect, evaluate, and you will find your way. If you really want me to dig deeper to give you specific con crit advice then you are free to DM me. My ask box is also always open! 

[svtts]

burn.

idol!mingyu x idol!reader

→ catagory: angst

→ topic: mingyu had always written you letters whilst on tour however, he also wrote them to someone else.

→ w/c: 1k

→ notes: so i went to see hamilton and let’s just say, eliza in burn RUINED me.

—‘by clearing your name, you’ve ruined our lives.’

numb. everything was numb. the voices made no sense, the ground seemed to crumble, the air around you just wasn’t enough.

from the moment, the article was published you’d been lost in sadness, anger and anxiety.

‘ seventeen’s mingyu cheats on [group name]’s ___________! ‘

the slick wooden box, stored carefully under the bed, you were now scrambling for, whilst hot tears ran down your faces.

finally identifying the target, you grabbed it, leaving the bedroom a mess, then stormed downstairs.

the light slipped away almost too terrified of the damage you may cause now.

placing the box down, you kneeled next to it, unlocking it immediately.

the paper sat almost too perfectly, the letters untouched since you placed the last one in there just last week.

the sight itself made the tears fall harder. every word within these letters were lies, each sentence a fake string of words to keep you tied down, each paragraph fooling you into a fake love.

19/09/19

my love,

you keep telling me i’m old fashioned by sending these letters but, i can’t help being a hopeless romantic.

the world tour is amazing, i wish you were here so i could show you all these places.

being without you, had made me realise how much i need you to survive, not matter how many people are around me i always feel slightly lonely.

anyways, it’s only a month until i see you now, which has made me feel a little less lonely.

yesterday, we played an amazing show in brazil. carats made it the most fulfilling experience, it’s so surreal hearing them all cheer your name, especially so far from home.

i know i could’ve texted you all of this but, letters mean a lot more than text messages, right?

i love you.

from your dearest,

mingyu x

every word. a lie. each time the pen touched the paper another lie was told.

ugly sobs escaped your mouth, as you eyed the candle that you lit, ready for mingyu to arrive home today.

each letter you took out, almost seventy separate pieces, reminded you of the ones on the websites, newspapers and text messages.

20/09/19

dear jennie,

how are you? thank you for last week, it was a reliever.

tour has been tough as i expressed last week, it’s really taking its toll on me.

i don’t want to continue this much longer however. as you know, i’ll be home soon and i only got away with the bed last time.

i hope all is well.

mingyu.

the way he told her the same things he told you and the way he told her what he told you.

you knew he’d come here soon, he’d try and explain himself, but it was too late.

he’d cleared his name, throwing you under the bus like a piece of trash.

the words on the letters no longer shared the intimacy and satisfaction. they were flooded with waste and lies.

pinching the first letter he’d ever written, you scan over the sentences.

‘i love you the mostest ‘

‘ you make me so happy, i miss you. ‘

a hideous sob escaped your lips as you lifted the letter, dipping the corner into the candle and watching as the lies as they’re engulfed in flames.

as it burns, the strong scent dominates your senses, almost providing your aching heart with satisfaction.

immediately, you throw it into the fireplace. a location where the memories of when he was yours almost overwhelm you.

silent tears roll down your cheeks as you one by one burn the paper, allowing a small pile of letters build up in the fireplace.

loud banging distracts you from the jail that is the letters.

‘_______! open up! please!’ muffled shouts, from the voice you now hate so much, yet love too much.

his voice triggers you to crumble more letters, just chucking them into the roaring fireplace.

the sounds of distress don’t stop, as you sob through his shouts.

refusing to let him believe that you have no voice, you make your way to the door, opening it up.

a wet-eyed, restless mingyu stands at the door.

‘______, thank god.’ he sighs, attempting to pull you into a hug however, a step backwards stops his arms wrapping around you.

‘leave.’ you spit.

‘w-what? please let me explain. please _______.’ he begs, his voice cracking.

so badly, you wanted to engulf him in your arms, comfort him. but, everything felt so wrong.

‘it’s already been done.’ you say, looking away from his distraught figure.

he looked guilty, he looked unhappy, he didn’t feel what you did though.

‘no. please.’

‘you told the whole world, how you lead the girl into our bed! how you saw her more than me, how she relived you for fuck sake!’ you snap, slamming the door as a precaution.

‘i-i.’ he stutters.

‘all the words you said to her, you said to me. i’ve read every line from the beginning to end!’ you continue.

‘the- the letters?’ he questions,

‘what’s left of them now! and now mingyu, now, i realise how senseless every word was, how every sentence was thrown away, how every paragraph was full of paranoia, how every letter and memory weren’t enough for you!’ you continue, walking into the kitchen and slamming one of the half burnt letters into his chest.

‘i can make this up to you, i promise, please ________.’

‘no! the world now knows how you let the girl into to bed under my nose, how you loved her, how she relieved you. but, get this clear mingyu, the world will not know what i said, they will not know how i feel.’

‘________...’

‘by clearing your name, you’re forfeiting the place in our bed, the place in my family, the place in my now broken heart.’

‘you cant-‘ he chokes out.

‘don’t let them know how you broke my heart, don’t let them know how you let my heart burn like all of these letters full of lies mingyu. let yourself live, knowing you broke the person that will love you forever.’

by now, your taking deep breaths, the outburst stealing all the air from your lungs.

‘kim mingyu.’ you finish, opening the door, as you guide him out. ‘i hope that you burn.’

[daesungindistress]

(1/1) The amount of patience you have in replying to these people amazes me. I, at least, appreciate all the work and research you've done in digging up and explaining all this stuff. The mental gymnastics some of these stans are putting them through literally makes my head hurt. I think the main reason why I enjoy your blog so much, and the reason why i appreciate your lengthy and well thought out responses, is because I feel I went through a very similar thought process with this whole thing.

(2/2). I thought SR was innocent or misrepresented, etc. But the main reason why I decided to not support him anymore was because of his absolute apathy towards the female victims. Whether you believe he’s 100% guilty, 100% innocent or anything in between, you cant deny that he has never ever said 1 word of sympathy or empathy for the female victims. Not 1. His only words were dont get caught. He can express empathy w/o admitting guilt. Why do you want to stan someone like that?

–

First of all, that you think I have any patience left for these people is pretty funny. I mean, I’m glad it looks that way to you, but I’m not exactly proud of the way I’ve been snapping at people this year. I’m not normally like this, promise. I’m just so fed up with everything. It’s been a long, hard year.

“Whether you believe he’s 100% guilty, 100% innocent or anything in between, you cant deny that he has never ever said 1 word of sympathy or empathy for the female victims. Not 1.”

This! This is something that really gets me. Back when I was still rooting for him, every time he would put himself out there and speak I thought, “Please, please say something to or about the women directly affected by this.” Not only did I need to see that he cared, let’s be real, I still cared about him and his image at the time and it would have helped. A carefully worded expression of sympathy, a few words making it clear that he felt contrite about what he’d seen and kept silent about, or even something as basic as an acknowledgement that what had been done to them was wrong. Like so many others, I waited and hoped… and it never came.

At first I reasoned that he couldn’t offer anything resembling an apology because it might be seen as an admission of guilt. Then I learned that viewing hidden camera footage (along with the lesser offense of simply knowing about it), the only evidence of his involvement we had at the time, isn’t technically a crime in South Korea. It isn’t punishable. Which means that speaking up about it, apologizing for his involvement, however minimal, would not have landed him in any legal trouble. Everyone knew he’d been in that chat, everyone saw what he replied to. But he wouldn’t address it.

So then I thought, “Well, an apology could be seen as an admission of guilt on his friends’ behalf. Maybe he’s shielding them.” However, Jung Joonyoung issued a statement of apology the day after the chats were released – yes, the very next day! – admitting to his crimes of secretly filming these women and disseminating the footage in chatrooms, calling what he’d done “illegal and immoral”. Then, just two days after that, Choi Jonghoon also issued a letter in which he apologized to the victims (it’s buried a few paragraphs in)… and in that same letter announced his retirement. Why, when his friends had already publicly taken responsibility for their involvement in the chats, would Seungri choose not to do the same for his? Why withhold his sympathy? Did he even have any? Surely it occurred to him that he should say something… or did it? Compare Jonghoon’s letter of retirement with Seungri’s rather curt announcement in which he positions himself as a victim and a martyr. There’s very little here that feels sincere or truly apologetic; to me it reads more like an angry, offended little boy taking his toys and going home. This is why I have no hope for him learning from this or bettering himself as a person; he doesn’t seem to think he’s done anything wrong.

So, where do the women victims come in? See Seungri’s closing statement in his Chosun interview: “I am greatly apologetic to the many people that looked at me with interest for the last 10 years, the fans and nation that cheered me on, my former company YG, and to my team and colleagues.” Hello? Seems like he’s forgetting someone – or consciously avoiding mentioning them. Even when directly confronted about it in his Chosun interview, when asked why he was a bystander, nothing about his response was remotely remorseful. Instead, what we got was an awkward, bumbling attempt to make himself look better without ever acknowledging the moral degeneracy of it all. Like he was aware of what was expected of him but didn’t actually feel regret over his failure to stop it… he only regrets that people didn’t see him try (if it’s even true that he tried). As if the only thing he cares about is what others think of him, not the victims who he let down, not what’s right or wrong. He issued an apology to Kim Sang Kyo of all people after he was roughed up by police at Burning Sun, something he’s actively tried to distance himself from… but that was when he was still with YG and had a publicist on his side. Yet these women who were assaulted by his friends, clandestinely filmed and exploited, the footage of their bodies spread in chatrooms where he was present, aware of it, and even reacted with humor on at least one occasion… now that he’s on his own, nothing about them. Nothing at all.

To make matters worse, he sent an angry text message to reporters in which he complained about his privacy being violated, his private information leaked without permission. So, what, in his eyes this is only a problem so far as it pertains to him, but when it happens to someone else, and in a way that’s far worse? Not a word.

How can he be so preoccupied with himself? How self-absorbed? What he has done here is display a shocking lack of empathy and awareness for others. I guess he figured that since he wasn’t legally on the hook for anything related to these women and their trauma, it wasn’t his problem. They weren’t his problem. We’re more than nine months in and there’s not been a peep from him about anything that he’s decided doesn’t immediately concern him. His staunch refusal to so much as allude to the women who’ve had their lives turned upside-down by this is very telling.

It’s downright disturbing, to be honest, the more you think about it. Total immersion in a state of self-preservation at best, misogynistic and/or sociopathic at worst.

[kawaii-puncher]

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Vera Ward/Draoskithe

Reason or meaning of name: Ward because she's an orphan and thats the last name they get, Draoskithe is her family name but she doesnt know that

Character’s nickname: Sparkles

Reason for nickname: She likes sparkles

Birth date: Nov. 9th

Physical appearance

Age: 23

How old does he/she appear: 23 but she probably looks 18

Weight: 156

Height: 5'7"

Body build: Fierce

Shape of face: I don't know enough about human anatomy

Eye color: Light Blue

Glasses or contacts: Nah she can see it all, 20/20

Skin tone: Pasety Sour Cream Child

Distinguishing marks: Birthmarks on her back that look like scars

Predominant features: Beautiful

Hair color: Pink

Type of hair: Soft, Long, and wavey

Hairstyle: That half up hairstyle but mostly down

Voice: uuuuuuhhhhhhhh

Overall attractiveness: 10/10, professional at the smolder

Physical disabilities: Super Clutzy and a Bad Ankle

Usual fashion of dress: Fancy

Favorite outfit: A turtle neck, cute skirt, leggings and cute shoes

Jewelry or accessories: Always wears a pair of black cross earrings

Personality

Good personality traits: Super kind and wnats to help everyone

Bad personality traits: Stubborn af

Mood character is most often in: Idk how to explain the mood, basically when youre in the whiney "whhhhhhhy" mood

Sense of humor: Cheesey Jokes

Character’s greatest joy in life: Dazzling the Room

Character’s greatest fear: Silence and complete darkness

Why?

Its creepy and unsettling

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil?

Death Probably

Character is most at ease when: Spa Days or playing video games

Most ill at ease when: Someone is belittling her or treating her like she's an idiot

Enraged when: She thinks she did something great and is really proud and someone is like "well its not that great"

Depressed or sad when: Toy Story 3

Priorities: School/Education are at the top

Life philosophy: "Fuck it"

If granted one wish, it would be: To see a real life unicorn

Why?

Have you seen unicorns???

Character’s soft spot: She almost cried when looking at some kittens once

Is this soft spot obvious to others? No because shes allergic to a lot of animals (not all) so she stays away from them

Greatest strength: Thumb War and great at Lying

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: Parent Issues cause orphan

Biggest regret: Letting someone get close enough to her to break her heart and hurt her that badly, only she's allowed to put herself through that much pain

Minor regret: Saying yes to paying extra for rum in her milkshake on her 21st birthday

Biggest accomplishment: Not punching someone she really wanted to punch and just walking away. Also getting on the deans list

Minor accomplishment: Submitted art to a competition and heard some little old ladies talk about how much they loved her piece

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: Didn't know Reindeer were real until Highschool. Always thought they were made up like Santa. Also didn't know that you weren't supposed to eat mango skin the first time she had a mango, got weird looks

Why? Not street smart

Character’s darkest secret: She wishes she could just act out and destroy and break a bunch of stuff but she always feels like she needs to be on her best behavior

Does anyone else know?

No, its a secret

Goals

Drives and motivations: To be successful in life

Immediate goals: Good grades in school

Long term goals: Have a private lake and drink wine all day, relaxed

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Work Hard

How other characters will be affected: she doesnt hang out all the time and puts school above everything

Past

Hometown: Seattle

Type of childhood: Grew up in a catholic orphanage

Pets: None

First memory: Crying because she tripped and a nun gave her candy and told her to keep it a secret between them

Most important childhood memory: Being told that she was still in the orphange not because no families wanted her but because the lord knew she was already with the family that would love her the most (it was nuns that told her that)

Why: Made her feel wanted

Childhood hero: She-ra

Dream job: To be a Journalist

Education: Highschool Grad, working on a bachelor's in college

Religion: Catholic but super chill about it

Finances: Not even enough for a chicken nugget

Present

Current location: Devildom

Currently living with: The Brothers

Pets: Does Mammon count?

Religion: Still catholic but now with a lot of Jesus puns

Occupation: Student

Finances: Still not enough for a chicken nugget

Family

Mother: Unknown to her but the name is Alice Draoskithe

Relationship with her: none

Father: Unknown to her but his name is Quincy Jameson

Relationship with him: None

Siblings: Half Brother on fathers side named Quincy Jr.

Relationship with them: None/ Jealousy later on

Spouse: None

Relationship with him/her: it would probably be good

Children: She accidentally killed a bamboo plants she cant be trusted with kids

Other important family members: Not family family but she grew up with 4 other orphans that were her best friends and Sister Helen was her favorite nun

Favorites

Color: Baby Blue and Gold

Least favorite color: Orange

Music: Legit all kinds but mostly a fan or Alternative Rock

Food: Mini Cupcakes are her favorite

Literature: Tess of the d'Urbervilles is her favorite novel, she wears a red bow from time to time because of it

Form of entertainment: Video Games or Drawing

Expressions: Happy? Honestly dont know about this one

Mode of transportation: Walking

Most prized possession: Her cross earrings

Habits

Hobbies: Drawing, reading, games, or gardening but shes really bad at it

Plays a musical instrument? No but she can play twinkle twinkle little star on an organ

Plays a sport? Please no

How he/she would spend a rainy day: Watching the rain and day dreaming

Spending habits: Clothes and Hair brushes

Smokes: nerds in games

Drinks: Wine. A Lot.

Other drugs: Edibles are cool

What does he/she do too much of?

Drinking

What does he/she do too little of?

Relaxing

Extremely skilled at: Organization

Extremely unskilled at: Gardening

Nervous tics: Nervously curls hair around finger or hums

Usual body posture: Confident

Mannerisms: Very Polite

Peculiarities: Always moving her hands and can't sit still, bites her lip a lot

Traits

Optimist or pessimist? Optimist

Introvert or extrovert? Introvert

Daredevil or cautious? Cautious when sober

Logical or emotional? She acts like she's more logical but 100% more emotional

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Neat freak

Prefers working or relaxing? Working

Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Confident af

Animal lover? Yes

Self-perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: Doesn't belong wherever she goes but she can act like she does, but deep down she knows she doesn't

One word the character would use to describe self: Hopeful

One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: I'm invited because I'm fun to be around but thats just an act and it's not really me... or is it? I don't know anymore

What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? Second Chances are always accepted

What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? She allows second chances to everyone

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? Really pretty hair

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Dry skin

How does the character think others perceive him/her: they exist

What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: their personality to fit what they think is right

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: Theyre pretty cool

Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? When sober

Person character most hates: Elliot (an ex) and Henry ( the little shit that stole her cookies all the time in the orphange and lied about it but she knows it was him)

Best friend(s): Asmo and Mammon

Love interest(s): Lucifer and Solomon

Person character goes to for advice: Literally anyone, all opinions help her because she has no idea

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Herself

Person character feels shy or awkward around: Lucifer

Person character openly admires: Lucifer

Person character secretly admires: Solomon

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: No one

After story starts:

I HAVE NO CLUE

Got this from here

[cptablovegood]

Absolutely no one asked for this or probably even wants this but I’m less than a hundred pages in to Fool’s Errand and Fitz and Beloved are already ruining me so I’m literally just going to make a note of every time they’re being super in love (even if Fitz is constantly obtuse and refuses to admit it) just for my own (in)sanity..

———————part 1————————

Apparently only original posts show up in tumblr searches some imma just have to keep adding on to this rather than reblogging hope you’re ready for a shit so guys!

“I see a love that wends its way in and out of all your many years. That faithful heart has been absent for a time, but is soon to return to you again.” A witch reading his LOVE LINE! She also makes a direct comparison to Molly. Fitz foolishly thinks it’s about Starling but Beloved arrives soon after so we know its about them. HIS LOVE LINE GUYS!

“Your one true love is stitched in and out and through you life. Love will return to you.” You could interpret this as being about Molly as I think they end up getting back together after Burrich has died but I’m way more inclined to believe this is about the Fool. For one its the same witch says its right after the above. Fitz himself also dimises Molly. But mainly the phrasing. The White Prophet and his Catalyst are often described as being interwoven and bound together despite of any distance and time. Like the metaphors are parallel making me think this is about the Fool. Which means… Beloved is Fitz’s one true love! Guys can Robin Hobb just give me a fucking break please!

*a whole paragraph admiring a horse* “The rider was fully worthy of the horse.” He thinks his mans is fine ok!

“He smiled. Something turned over in my heart. I moistened my lips, but could find no words, no breath to utter them if i had. My heart told me one thing my eyes another.” Ummm how fucking in love is Fitz? He hasn’t seen the Fool in 15 years and he’s speechless and his heart is doing somersaults? His eyes are saying wait that’s not how i remember the fool but it doesn’t fucking matter he KNOWS its the fool HIS HEART KNOWS.

“I open my mouth, then helplessly spread wide my arms. At that gesture that said all I had no words for, an answering look lit his face.”Again he’s literally speechless but that doesn’t even matter the Fool can fully understand him. Soulmates don’t need such trivial things as language to communicate!

“He glowed as if a light had been kindled in him” Im sorry thats some romantic shit.

“He did not dismount but flung himself from his horse towards me.”  Hi the Fool literally launched himself off a horses back into your arms!

“The horse shied away but none of us paid her any attention.”  They’re so absorbed in each other.

“In one step i caught him up. I enfolded him in my arms as the wolf gambolled about us like a puppy.”

“‘Oh Fool,’ I choked. ‘It cannot be you, yet it is and I do not care how.’” Emotions are literally choke him he’s about to start crying, I-

“He flung his arms around my neck. He hugged me fiercely. … For a long time he clung to me like a woman.” Yeah we know Fitz has some old misconstrued ideas about love and gender so for him to even parallel that is a lot ok…

“Until the wolf insistently thrust himself between us.” Ok so not only would they have carried on clinging to each other if Nighteyes hadn’t have forced them apart but also the wolfs reaction is super fucking important as well. Like Nighteyes is Fitz’s Wit beast. He has never loved another person other than Fitz so loyally and without question. When he first meets the Fool he trusts him straight away and calls him pack long before anyone else. Fitz even gets jealous of their bond in the first trilogy until Nighteyes explains that why shouldn’t he trust and love someone so fiercely if Fitz already feels this way about them.

“…wiping away tears. I did not think less of him for them. My own ran unchecked down my face.” Urgh thank you Robin Hobb for letting men cry! But they are both so overcome with emotion and not ashamed or embarrassed to show the other person that they’ve been brought to tears by their reunion like wow they’re so in love.

“He flowed to his feet, every nuance of his grace as familiar to me as the drawing of breath.” He likens simply seeing the fool moving to something that is habitual and that sustains his life I-

“He cupped the back of my head and in his old way, pressed his brow to mine.” I would argue more tender than a chaste kiss.

“He stared at me, his eyes touching the white streak in my hair and running familiarly over the scares on my face. I stared just as avidly…” they’re drinking each other up after so many years apart committing each other to memory again.

“The wide grin that lit his face erased all years and distance between us.” something as simple as a smile can bring them right back together like they haven’t been separated for 15 years.

“I felt something from him; the thinnest knife-edge of of shared awareness. … ‘All down the years’ his voice going as golden as his skin ‘you have been with me, as close as the tips of my fingers, even when we were years and seas apart. Your being was like the hum of a plucked string at the edge of my hearing, or a scent carried on the breeze.’”Maybe I’m smoking crack but I think this might be the most romantic thing ever? ‘his voice going golden as his skin’ why does that warm my heart so??

“‘Had I possessed the Skill in truth you would have known I was there. At your fingertips, but mute.’ I felt an odd easing in my heart at his words, for no reason I could name” Fitz mate thats love. Love and the confirmation and realisation that you had never and would never truly be alone or lonely.

“It was a boys thing to do, this immediate offering to share a prized possession and my heart answered it, knowing that no matter how long or how far apart wed been nothing important had changed between us.” Like you might be men full grown now, having lived completely separate lives, not knowing each other for the last 15 years but your love is so pure it has not been marred by age or distance!

“I blinked my eyes and for a minute I was back in the Fool’s hut in the mountains, healing from my injury while he stood between me and the world” he remembers how the fool protected and shielded him and nursed him back to health.

“He created reality around himself, bringing order and peace to a small island of warm firelight.”

“Light ran up his cheekbones and dwindles as it merged with his hair.”

“‘In the space of a sundown, you show me the wide world from a horses back and the soul of the world within my own walls.’” Before the Fool came Fitz was feeling listless and suffocated by his own life. Is there a more beautiful thing than being renewed to vigor by someone you love? The Fool basically brings him all the possibilities and life that he had forgotten he could have. Also he calls the Fool ‘the soul of the world’ how fucking beautiful is that. and the fool is so fucking happy that he could do that for him.

“We are whole.” This said by Nighteyes which I again think is super important. He feels the same about the Fool as he does about Fitz. And although him and Fitz are Wit bonded and him and the Fool not he does not feel that they have been truly complete without him.

“Like sundered pieces of crockery that snick back together so precisely that the crack becomes invisible, the Fool joined us and completed us.”

“The Fool’s presence was in itself an answer and satisfaction.”

“That evening remains for me always a moment to cherish as golden and fragrant as brandy in crystal glasses.”

“I stayed away from you as long as i could. he offered the words like an apology.’ He literally cant keep himself from fitz. “Any time that you returned to visit me would not have been too soo” And Fitz doesn’t want to be left alone Beloved he wants your company!

“Nighteyes and I spoke as we did was not an effort to exclude him from our circle. It was that our circle made us one in a fundamental way we could not share. ‘Yet once we did and it was good.’” Even the wolf wants them to all be joined again and share their thoughts and feelings!

“He extended his hand to me as if he proffered an invisible gift on those outstretched fingertips. I closed my eyes to steady myself against the temptation. ‘I want it as i want breath itself Fool take it away please.’” He is having to ask the Fool to remove the temptation because he wants that wholeness, that one’s again so badly but he knows it’s a bad idea. It is taking all his will to decline it and I think of the Fool offered again he wouldn’t be able to resist a again. Also this is the 2nd time he has likened the Fool to something as fundamental as breathing.

“‘I dreamed of you once. You were sick or injured. A man leaned over you, I felt he wanted to hurt you so I-’ ‘It’s quite likely ou saved my life.’” Even when the Fool was Amber and Fitz did not know her his subconscious was looking out for her and protecting her. He fucking skill pushed someone to leave her alone without even realising it was her.

“‘Sometimes when I was most alone I mocked myself that I could cling to such a hope. That I could believe I was so important to anyone that he would travel in his dreams to protect me.’ ‘You should have known better than that.’ I said quietly.” Ok so this hurts my heart a little because Fitz always denies that he loves the Fool the way in which he wants to be loved by Fitz. I mean I don’t think that’s true at all because their love is way more intense and intimate than any woman that Fitz has ever been with Molly included the only boundary between him and the Fool is sex which arguable we know Fitz doesn’t always think is related to love cos he slept with Starling. And it fucking kills me that when Amber was in her darkest place she clung on to the hope that Fitz did truest love her but at the same time laughed at herself cos Fitz himself had told them otherwise previously. And here he has the audacity to contradict her. Like how could you ever doubt it? Cos you told them to doubt it mate! Why are you so fucking obtuse Fitz!

“‘Should I?’ He gave me the most direct look I have ever received from him. I did not understand the hurt I saw in his eyes nor the hope. He needed something from me but I wasn’t sure what it was.” Urgh again Fitz is so blind! You just need to hold him and admit to him how much you love him get over yourself and your whole ‘I can’t love you like a man loves a woman’ bullshit cos like the Fool rightfully said you didn’t love Molly cos of what was under her skirts!

“‘Were you expecting me to leave tomorrow?’ ‘I thought you might I didn’t hope it.’ ‘That's good then for you could have hoped in vain.’” They’ve finally been reunited after so long and neither one of them wants to leave the other.

“I suddenly realised the immensity of what i had asked him … like all direct questions I had ever asked the fool I both dreaded and longed for the answer.” This just feels very fucking intimate to me lads sorry to say

“‘Good night Beloved we have been apart for too long.’” Umm the Fool fucking gave Fitz his own name. His true name that he had never told anyone. His name that his own mother called him. They’re gunna ruined me these two.

This is literally only the first chapter that they have been reunited in and my heart already can’t take it!!

[rxcusant]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG

SPEED

i do my best! generally i just try to keep the pace going but im also a turtle with very bad attention span. like everyone sometimes i have more muse for certain threads and i try to tackle those first. otherwise i?? just try to keep the ball rolling.

REPLIES/DRAFTS

imma be real here chief. I don’t use my drafts. If i put my replies in drafts i will NEVER get them done. so i either Like them or i rely on my memory fkjhgkd  i usually reply in later evening/night hours tho! I’m ATROCIOUS at replying during the day time and its just a lot easier on me in silence with no one around. I try to reply the day after my partner does but sometimes stuff happens and i get to it the next night lmao

STARTERS

I don’t mind doing them and I usually volunteer to! But Im also happy whenever someone else does cAUSE ITS ONE LESS THING FOR ME TO DO L M A o..,,, If theres one thing I noticed Im bad at tho its responding to one-liner starter calls cause i just... spit 2 paragraphs back kjfdghj and they usually end up going no where and it makes me kinda sad. But Im gonna keep liking them cause i wanna interact with people!!!! and those calls always pop up on my dash!!!!!

INBOX

listen here young man my blog is almost 5 years old. This inbox is CLUTTERED....... i try to answer everything as best i can tho!! But, as i will keep saying, I HAVE BAD ATTENTION SPAN and if i forget its not on you!! admittedly sometimes i dont know how to respond so i’ll leave it to stew over but... i end up forgetting anyway. By then i just delete it if its been awhile.

SELECTIVITY

I’m only semi selective tbh I don’t have High Standards or anything djfhkgjf I like an active dash and I like meeting people!! Im coming off a year long hiatus and I still feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface with following people in this community.  If you really wanna know tho I don’t like following if your blog is nothing but ask memes or if youre about is just Off The Wall Crazy that i feel winded after reading it and im not sure i can see us interacting. I’m chill i swear As a side note, I do not follow personals back. 

WISHLIST

[takes out a very long scroll that unwinds and scrolls out the door and keeps going for miles] Well, now that you’ve asked -i want sorikai content..... i want sokai content....... i want soriku content....... i want trinity trio content........ i want the misery that comes with being snorts friend. i live for that. I live for riku and kairi lamenting over trying to save their best friend whos actively avoiding seeing them as much as it pains him cause he doesnt wanna get them hurt hhhhhhh I WANT THEM SNEAKING BEHIND THE SCENES SEEING EACH OTHER CAUSE THE FRIENDSHIP IS TOO STRONG AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER TOOMUCH TO BE APART AND EVEN XEHANORT CANT DO THAT TO THEM  -I WANT..... ORGANIZATION RPS......... i want!! soranort to interact with all the other vessels!!! there is SO MUCH TO DO HERE!!! Get under his skin, remind him hes gonna beat the light out of precious friends, just!! fuck with him man. Sora will snap back and stick to his guns and make for one big sass fight. Cmon sora was LITERALLY THEIR ENEMY FOR ALL THE GAMES AND NOW HES FORCED TO SIDE WITH THEM theres a lot to do here!!!!!!!!!! And if sora does what he does best and worms into their heart and they become friends?? ALL THE BETTER!!! one of my FAVORITE old relationships on this blog was with saix! it was great!!!!!! im starving out here pls give me organization rps -v...vanitas........ listen i know i rp vanitas too but SOME OF MY FAVORITE RPS ARE WITH OTHER VANITAS BLOGS...... we can work it out man, we can plot it out, i just rEALLY LOVE OTHER VANITAS BLOGS A LOT OK its really fun seeing another vanitas tear down sora that isnt myself. Im just eternally nervous about approaching other vanitas’s in case theyre like NO I DONT WANNA  DO THIS so i sit in silence watching from afar  -DISNEY!!!!! DISNEY!!!!!!! RPS!!!!!!!! DISNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LIVE FOR SORA SEEING HIS OLD DISNEY FRIENDS AGAIN AND THEYRE LIKE “hey what happened” aND HE LAUGHS LIKE “HAHAHAH NOTHING I SWEAR IM FINE HOW ARE YOU THO” OR ALTERNATIVELY DISNEY THAT ISNT IN KH, LET SORA MEET THEM NOW WHEN HES ON ORG MISSIONS ‘go do recon sora and stay in the shadows pls’ ‘okay! [immediately goes and makes 10 friends] -crossover friends!!!! i also live for Sora meeting people who dont know ANYTHING about his bullshit or KH’s bullshit and they steadily overtime see how hes not doing so well until he has to explain OR keep dancing around it because its always better that theyre not involved in all this [this one is hit or miss cause i only follow series im familiar with BUT i can make exceptions jkfhg] -vanitas meeting people similar to him. Before i reset my blogs relationships vanitas aCTUALLY HAD A FRIEND but it was only because they were both tools living with someone elses face and they punched each other to say hello kdjfhgkdj but i like exploring what happens to vanitas when you give him the warmth he spent 4 years feeling from ventus & longing after in the badlands according to the bbs novels. Vanitas is a terrible abomination but goddamn do i love watching him short circuit when someones not treating him like shit. then he gets extremely confused and angry and [chefs kiss] fun. -this is already really long and while i always have more in mind ill stop here

HONEST NOTE you want some honesty????? you want some BRUTAL HONESTY??? I am in a constant state of anxiety people will be disappointed i dont follow the herd with Popular Soranort Headcanons. like they come here expecting one thing only to see thats not what rolls here. Granted I don’t look at or know the Popular Soranort Headcanons because they made my anxiety spike more, im just ??? Its a weird feeling. Im not here to please people because how I choose to write soranort is all up to me and I love him. Its just... a super funky feeling. Theres a reason i took my hiatus but thats all im gonna say.  Im also always worried about my vanitas portrayal since hes just a Lost Soul at the moment with no goal or path or outlet and therefore doesnt really follow his canon self’s personality or behavior.

tagged by: nobody i live in a kingdom of thieves tagging: you! and you! and especially YOU

[organisaticns]

so im due to start at cambridge university for bio natural sciences in october and i thought i would write a post about what helped me make a successful application. hopefully this is useful to some people!! (also this is an incredibly long post you’ve been warned)

if anyone wants me to do a more in depth post on one specific section, or you guys have any questions at all, feel free to drop me a message!!

choosing a course

this is the most important bit!!! you’re dedicating 3/4/5/6 years of your life to this

oxbridge as rule (esp cambridge) have slightly different courses to other universities so do your research - on their websites and at open days

i know top students are supposed to apply to oxbridge bc “it’s the best” and stuff but if the courses offered don’t interest you or you prefer how other unis teach that course, DON’T APPLY!! it’s not worth it 

generally, look at your a level/ib/etc subjects and which sort of courses they meet the entry requirements for then look at websites and stuff to try and narrow it down

talk to current students! the blog askacambridgestudent on tumblr is great, each area has an oxbridge conference each april if you can go, ask students at open days

they can tell you what it’s actually like

read some books in the subject area you’re considering, watch ted talks, go to masterclasses, do work experience

this will help you choose a course and also be useful later when you write your personal statement

okay so when i was applying people kept telling me i would only be successful if the only thing i thought about 24/7 was biology and it was the love of my life. this is not true. you can have other interests don’t believe the people that tell you that you cant

that being said you need to be passionate about your subject!! refer to bullet point 1!! they want to know that you’re interested in it and this needs to show

oxford vs cambridge

this is really hard for some people but my course is only offered at cambridge so i did not have this problem

so first see if you prefer the course offered at one of them

if not, visit both and hopefully you’ll get a better vibe from one

i have no good advice here

writing your personal statement

okay writing a ps is just not fun okay prepare yourself for that

if anyone wants a biology/natural sciences example message me and i can send you mine

this post has some really good advice

start early, aim to have it completely done and edited by early september (oxbridge deadline is 15th october)

first, think about things you want to write about - i wrote a paragraph on a book i’d read, a paragraph each on two summer schools i did, a paragraph on my epq, and a paragraph on extracurricular

things you can talk about - books, ted talks, lectures, summer schools, masterclasses, epq, independent research into stuff, work experience

when you’re writing about stuff you gotta engage with it, so dedicate a whole paragraph to one book, then take one key theme and talk about how it interested you and how you looked up other things to do with it - link it to a different concept or talk about which theory you like best if theres conflicting theories in the field etc

it’s a hard thing to do but just pick different bits you liked about the book and try to discuss it - a key theory, theme, character etc

you can be asked about your ps in interview so make sure you’re comfortable discussing the books on your ps

you also do not need to talk about multiple books if you don’t want to, i only talked about one and i know people who didn’t mention any

don’t just say things like “im passionate about biology”!! back it up with something!! say you’re passionate about one specific topic in your field and why, discuss how different things you did/read consolidated your interest, show your interest through discussion about the subject

try to link in slightly different subject areas or experiences, and definitely link everything to your course and why you’d be a good student

i managed to link my latin AS level to biology so anything is possible folks

while you want all your paragraphs to be very supercurricular based on things you’ve done and read, try and drop in some of those buzz words they love - you know like about your academic writing skills, enthusiasm, opportunity, dedication, communication, interdisciplinary skills etc.

oxbridge do not give a shit about your extracurricular but other unis do so you want one paragraph max on it and try to link it to transferable skills - it makes you a good communicator etc

write your first draft - it will be shitty but just write it, leave the intro and conclusion to last

introductions and conclusions are super hard to write but it’s doable. try to take the general idea you’re trying to include (mine was how interdisciplinary study is important to both all the sciences together and sub disciplines in bio) and write a little bit about it

it doesn’t have to be long, your intro should introduce your passion to the subject (please don’t do the whole “i’ve wanted to study bio since i was five and x happened” thing)

conclusion can be super short, just reinforce you’re excited to study your subject in a new environment and have new opportunities

look at the tsr examples for inspiration

try to make it cohesive ish? have a running theme? (like how this one has a running theme? i actually took a lot of inspiration from that ps)

don’t say things like “im a motivated and commited student with good time management skills” without smth to back it up - “while undertaking an independent research project, i developed time management skills, and researching x made me more interested bc y” is better (i mean still not incredible but i wrote that literally just now okay)

the student room has a load of examples from people who’ve already applied

read the ones in your subject, work out which bits you like and don’t like, apply to your own (be careful of plagiarism tho)

disclaimer: not all the ps on there are good

once you have a complete and awful first draft show it to a teacher

most people show it to the relevant subject teacher, but also to your tutor, the higher education adviser, oxbridge adviser

they will hopefully help you make it less awful but don’t let them change it so much it doesn’t sound like you

i showed mine to the oxbridge adviser at my school and well he laughed at it bc it was so bad so you know

but i didn’t listen to everything he said bc some of the things he wrote like no 17 year old would say

keep revising drafts, showing to teachers until you can’t stand reading it anymore then get someone else (maybe parents?) to spell check and be done with the horrible thing

no one likes their personal statement, you will read it in august and wonder how you could possibly write something so bad

the actual ucas application

make sure your predicted grades are at least as high as the entrance requirements

you don’t really have much control over your teacher reference but you can use it to mention things you couldn’t fit in your personal statement if you can convince your teachers to include stuff

make sure all your qualifications and stuff are accurate

the saq (cambridge only)

you have to fill this in straight after october 15th

it’s mostly boring admin stuff, filling in topics and class sizes etc.

you have an option to write an additional (shorter) personal statement

this is really useful if the course you’re applying to at oxbridge is different to the other courses youve applied to - such as if you applied to politics everywhere else but hsps at cambridge - use it to explain why you want to do that specific course at cambridge

but you definitely don’t have to write one, i didnt!

make sure you get this in on time

written work

for some courses you have to send in written work

i didn’t have to so i don’t have loads of advice, but make sure you send in stuff that you’re comfortable discussing at interview

they’ll be guidelines on the cambridge website and on your specific college’s website

admissions tests

not the most fun things

find the specification on the website and go through, highlighting and revising the points you don’t know

try to find some past papers and do them

this really depends on the subject you’re doing so i can’t give much more advice but if anyone needs advice specific to the NSAA shoot me a message

also, these are just part of your application and even if you came out of yours thinking it’s the worst test you’ve ever had it probably didn’t go that badly 

the NSAA is the hardest test i’ve ever sat and i thought i had done completely shit and i still got an offer so there’s still hope

interviews

okay so first, don’t believe the rumours

you know the ones where people say they got given a banana and asked to use it to explain how quantum mechanics relates to of mice and men

interviews are definitely scary, but they are nowhere near as bad as people make them out to be, and they don’t ask you weird unrelated questions

make sure you know your personal statement inside out and you feel comfortable talking about the topics/books/etc you mentioned on there in depth

keep up to date with any recent news or high profile research in your field (you don’t need to know details, just have a vague idea of what’s going on)

this is especially important if you’re applying for politics or economics or something like that

if your school offers a mock interview, definitely have one, though don’t panic if you can’t have one there’s other ways to prepare

the whole point of interview is them wanting to see how you think and how you respond to unfamiliar problems

so i looked up a list of “past oxbridge interview questions” and practised writing down a quick answer to them and thinking about how i would go about solving the problem

oxford has some examples on the “sample questions” bit here

i also used this site but remember a lot of these probably aren’t actual interview questions 

if you have an opportunity, just talk to your relevant subject teacher about the topics beyond your specification

you honestly don’t need to do too much interview prep, just do enough so you feel a bit calmer about the whole thing

hope some of that helps :)

[downwithwritersblock]

Is it a good or a bad thing when you can't explain the premise of a story in the 500 character limit the Asks have? I can generalize most parts of the story and setuo, but it goes deeper then just general terms, and that is making me think I may be waaaaay over my head with it. Other issues I had were already asked by other people, so just This one problem is bugging me...

I don’t think it’s a bad thing. If you are really, really trying to explain your story, I think it should definitely be over 500 words. There’s nothing wrong if you can, and there’s nothing wrong if you cant. I couldn’t. If I tried to explain to you my story in a way that you could understand it without having to read this, I would go way beyond 500 words. Stories are very complex things, they have so many parts to them and so many details. Don’t stress if you can’t sum up the entirety of the story in such a confined mount of characters. 

If you are worried about a story summary to go along with your book, like the ones you read on the back or the inside cover of novels, that little summary you use to lure people into reading your book? I have some good news for you: That summary doesn’t have to be a summary of the entire book. In fact, it might be better if you dont use a generalized summary of everything. I can’t count how many times I picked up a book, and read that little summary, and put it back down right away. Sometimes that little summary gives away way too much, and I feel like I have read the entire book, just from that little paragraph. That summary is supposed to be a tag line, something to catch the readers attention. Give them an idea of what they can find in your story, but don’t give them your story. Think of them like movie trailers. A good one should strike your curiosity, make you want to watch the whole movie. A bad one makes you feel like you’ve already seen everything the movie has to offer, and eliminates all sense of mystery or curiosity. 

Examples: 

‘A was 10 years old when their life turned upside down; when their mother was murdered by a man in a mask that the police could never catch. Now years later she’s grown into a strong but cold women who has worked her way to the top of the police force, determined to do what they could not, and catch her mothers killer. She thinks she’s getting close to the murderer when everyone, including the retired detective from her mothers case, tries to convince her to stop her from looking, a ruggedly handsome detective suddenly steps into her life. What will she do when more bodies start dropping, and the killer becomes a lot closer to her then she thinks?”   I call this the spark notes summary. The kind of summary that tells you everything you need to know about the story before you even read a single real page. 

‘There are some things in your life you should never have to deal with. Watching someone you love die right before your eyes is definitely one of those things. When you’re 10 years old, that sight is horrifying, and traumatizing, but when you’re 27 and have spent the last 17 years studying death and it’s maker, it just becomes annoying.’   This is the style of summary I typically tend to favor. To me it brings a lot more mystery and a slight sense of excitement. I don’t know about you, but this is the story I would choose to read. Of course, you could always mix the two styles. There is no right way to do things. 

‘What would you do if the man who killed your mother was suddenly back in your life, and determined to bring you more chaos?’ The question style. It’s short, simple and to the point. Questions are usually a pretty good way to go, nothing sparks curiosity like an unanswered question. 

I really hope this helps, and if you ever need anything else, please feel free to contact me! 

[theladyofthewest]

I’m an emotional mess so :)

A lot of these posts have been going around and I have had the distinct honour to have been tagged in some myself. Firstly, a huge thank you to anyone who did tag me, I can’t begin to describe how happy you made me by doing that. 

Secondly, one thing I want to say is that a lot of this list is comprised of people I hold very dear to my heart especially considering that even though our interests may vary and I may not post about things they enjoy anymore, they’re still here and really that shows me that I have friends who are here for me, who like me, and not any content I post so for that I’d like to extend another huge thank you. i can’t begin to describe to all of you what that means to me :) <3 

@wreathoflaurels​ : Oh mannnnn haha where do I begin??? Umm Laura is like literally one of my best friends and I cant begin to say how relieved I am that I mustered up the courage to talk to her that one day cause its been nothing but love and support and caring for each other since. i cant understand how someone i have never been able to lay eyes on in person could have so much of my heart and so much of my trust. I would lay down my life for you in a second and i dont think I get nearly enough opportunities to show you that. You are such a giving and supportive person and I truly count myself privileged to have been able to meet someone like you and count you as one of the people nearest to my heart. I love you and I want nothing but the best for you. 

@gobodosama​: Someone else that I count myself so blessed to have mustered up the courage to talk to omg. I remember the first time I spoke to Abbey was on one of her streams and she was so kind and supportive that I immediately thought ‘well fuck she’ll never like you.’ But!!!! by some miracle, she did and I get to say, with so much pride that Abbey is one of my best friends. Abbey is someone I have been able to pour my heart out to and never feel like my words will be misconstrued or misinterpreted. I truly feel like the best version of myself when I am speaking to you and i CANt begin to thank you enough for that. My super talented, kind, loving, beautiful best friend. Stay awesome, I love you. 

@sankontesu​ :Sometimes I sit there and wonder to myself how I, hell the world, got so lucky to have someone like Lali. honestly. Lali is easily one of the kindest and most generous and open hearted people I have ever met. Lali, I remember being absolutely floored that you would spend your own money on commissioning art of Reiko for me as a birthday present. That you hadn’t even met me and you were willing to spend your own money on me. We were so close to being able to meet in NYC and do I wish to god it happened so i could give you such a huge hug and thank you for being you. People can say whatever they want about Lali but let it be known that in all my life I have never met someone like you, someone who is so good to the core and deserving of nothing but love. I love you, even if we havent spoken in so loooongg, and I hope you are always smiling cause you deserve nothing but . 

@mirsan​ :Angie is someone that I could talk about for days. I would never get tired of announcing to the world how much Angie means to me as a person and how beautiful and giving and caring and supportive she is. There have been too many occasions for me to quote to anyone where I have felt like Angie would take on the world for me and there have been times where she has done just that. And whats most amazing about Angie is that its not just me or any of her friends that she would do that for, Angie would do that for anyone. That is what makes her such an amazing person. Angie i have been able to cry to you, cry with you, laugh with you, and listen to horrific 10 minute voice notes with you, do dramatic live readings of horrific fics with you - you name it. I will never forget that when I was scared of seeing someone to talk to, it was you who talked me through what the initial process would be and gave me the courage to go through with it. i cant thank you enough for that. I love you so much you are literally my life coach, be mirsan af and happy always, i will fight anyone who contradicts that. 

@narkik​ : amandaaaaaa omg. Amanda you were probably my first friend on here. The Office AU haha and I remember thinking that you were waaaaay too cool for me and lo and behold I am correct. You are such an intelligent and beautiful person, so easy to talk to and i love that i can go months without talking to you and yet the next time we do talk its like it was just yesterday. idk what it is that makes me feel like I could talk to you about anything but know that i would literally fight the entire universe in order to put a smile on your face because you deserve that. Its weird how someone can be the opposite of me in so many ways and yet we can still be so similar. I love you and I want to always write smut that makes you cry in public places from trying not to smile haha, please stay happy always!!!

@aaya-ranjha-mera: omgggg you are a wild card entry! I can not begin to fathom how close I have gotten to you in such a short time. I can honestly say that I never expected for you to become a daily fixture in my life where it feels weird if we arent talking about one thing or the other. I love that i can always count on you to understand how im feeling and offer perspectives on it that i didnt even imagine. I love how I dont have to explain things to you, you seem to just understand them and sometimes its like you’re just on the same brainwave as me haha (our twins moments are far too many to count). You understand me and my love for certain,,,, characters,,,, *sigh* in a way that makes me feel a little more sane at the end of the day anD i LOVE you for that. I adore that you trust me enough to talk to me about things because the feeling is 10000% mutual and I would fight the entire planet for you!

@smilebomber : OH RINNE.. soMETIMES i think about you and just get really emotional because you are such a pURE soul and you honestly must be protected at all costs. When i think sunshine and happiness and the warmth you get from being around someone you love, I think of you. You’re so strong and loving and beautiful and TALENTED. Is there anything you cant do?? i think not. I love that youre always so considerate of everyone around you, you’re always thinking of others and their feelings and i want you to know that I am always always always thinking of you and i have so much love in my heart for you. you have been there to ask me if i’m okay when I’m feeling down, to leave me nice asks and pick me up messages and I can’t find words to tell you how much that means to me. All I can really do is impress on you that I will always, in any circumstance, be here to do the same for you and if anyone ever tries to make you feel like you are anything short of an actual goddess I will come for their ass so help me god. 

@hedevimaiyya: i want to say to you shivangi that i am guaranteed going to cry typing this and if you laugh i will kill you ok. Shivangi omg omg omg i have been able to tell you things that i would never tell anyone else, i have been able to cry to you in ways that i dont know if ive done to someone else. You understand me on a wavelength that I dont think even I can reach??? When i talk to you its like all my sadness and stress becomes background noise because we just have so much fun talking to each other. I share everything with you, be it art or fic or OCs and you make me feel like ive done something worth the nobel prize every single time and I cant tell you the fuzzy feeling i get every time you message me because you are associated with goodness and happiness to me and I just feel so strongly for you. I would murder anyone who hurt you and I have been on the verge of doing so more than once. i hope to god, more than anything, that you come down to ontario so i can hug you and scream or i come up to montreal and you can laugh at my french which, while being fluent and spoken with a correct accent, is probably horrible. I LOVE YOU BOOBOO ILL DIE FOR YOU. 

@onikik : You know what michelle you wanna know the truth. i struggled a lot writing your paragraph. Because i dont know where to begin talking about you. Do i start with your talent, with the fact that youre the actual hand of god? do i start with your wonderful ideas and humour?? Or do i start with the heart of pure gold in your chest? You are honestly one of the most amazing people I have met hands down, you are always ready to spread love and care and be there for other people. You - god Im getting teary eyed thinking about it - you go out of your way to do things for other people and even when youre doing a commission you go out of your way to personalize it for the person and really make them feel like you did this for them and only for them, to make them happy. theres this loving intimacy in everything you do that makes everyone around you feel like you care about them and that you are there for them. idk how you do it honestly but i think youre an actual god. yOU must be i cant imagine there being any other way that you could be so beautiful and kind and loving and giving and caring and just pe r fect. I love you and id die for you and kill for you. know that always. 

and to you beautiful, beautiful people: you are all such amazing people who have made me feel so loved and welcomed. I see your URLs on my dash and I immediately am filled with warmth and love because thats exactly what all of you represent to me!!!!!

@ohblackfire, @kristicles, @thequeenwillruletheboard, @oh-haseena, @inukag, @sinuyasha, @kongosoha, @ashcanvas, @macabre-and-cheese

to anyone I forgot: I am so incredibly sorry. Know that if your name isnt on this list anywhere, that doesnt mean you’re not in my heart and that I wouldnt give my actual life for you. I have a horrible memory and I give you my deepest and most sincere apologies. <3 

[internalshapeshifter]

Written a few weeks ago...

So last night I tripped acid for the first time. As many people would describe to you, it was a very different feeling. The world moved, I saw things that werent there (but not in a scary way in a “shapes turn into images and those images turn into neverending patters”), I feel closer to my boyfriend, who I know will eventually be my husband, and I feel like I have more of an understanding of life. I know that sounds generic as fuck but its the truth. Acid slows your mind down so much that youre able to really be in the moment of life and enjoy it to the fullest while its also running like crazy. The amount your brain is able to process is absolutely amazing. Like fuck dude. Science. Bodies. Creation. Fuck. The simplest way to describe this for someone who hasnt experienced it before, is that your mind is focusing on one thing but your eyes are taking so much in and you cant turn your eyes off. Literally. When I closed my eyes I was still seeing things. My mind was still bringing up things to stimulate myself with. Constant stimulation. With that constant stimulation I came to realize just how bad my self esteem really is. Whenever my boyfriend would leave me alone to go talk to someone else in the house we were in, the doom of all the negativity of life came crashing in. I couldnt wait for him to be back so I could hold him again and focus on him, and not myself. When we went downstairs to hang out with the other people in the house I.... fuck I lost my train of thought. Even though my mind isnt still technically on acid, as Im trying to recall the events it feels as though I took a part of the evening with me. Anyway, I think the reason I lost my train of thought a second ago was because downstairs was a whole other world. Upstairs and downstairs were totally different worlds. Then there was the outside. Fuck dude. Outside. Before I did it I read up on what you should do to prepare for acid and one of the things I read was that you should take it on a day thats nice so you can go and enjoy the outside. But last night wasnt nice out. It was cold and rainy and windy. We were in 7 different environments. My bf and I upstairs, my bf and I downstairs, my bf, his sister, and I downstairs, my bf, his brother in law, and I, downstairs, Then the outside, and inside. I dont feel like the above paragraph makes much sense to any sober person reading it. Please erase from your memory. I know that my words have probably already been hard to follow (thats how the drug is, jumping) but one of the main things I wanted to touch on was that we had one of the super expected line come into play. The “what if this is our reality and we somehow become who we are on the day to day because of some unknown reason”. A common one you may have heard is that oxygen makes you feel normal. But honestly, I dont think its anything outside of social conditioning. People kinda make fun of me for being so into psychology because it has no real use in the way that you can take it and make something of it. Physically. But I honestly think in the way that Im deciding to spend my time dedicated to psychology, that Im doing more for the world than the average person going to work and coming home and coming to work and coming home. Im fighting the real battle. Im fighting against being a sheep and going with the flow. Im challenging life and asking why. Why do we do what we do if it makes us so fucking miserable. I think I may have found a serious part of it. Back to my super expected question of “what if this is our reality and we somehow become who we are on the day to day because of some unknown reason”. Stay with me here. I know my mind is jumping so hardcore right now but please stay with me. Theres a book that Ive been reading about buddism and one of the main things that buddists want to do is reach enlightenment. The way they try to reach enlightenment is by “being in the moment” and living everything. Constant mediation. I felt like this experience really allowed me to live in the moment and follow what I want and feel. To be the truest form of myself. Once again, back to the question. The unknown reason I believe is learning. See, as a baby over time we obviously absorb a lot of information and the people around us. We study body language, voice tones, what is acceptable and what isnt, etc. My point in my previous sentence is that we are conditioned. We are conditioned to become what the things around us taught us to be. If our mother laughs at a joke, we learn to laugh at the same things. We are conditioned as fuck to be what the world around us wants to be. Imagine two worlds. The world we live in, and the world of enlightenment. I really dont know how we reach enlightenment but I believe that last night was a good precursor. Though meditation, which is basically what we did all night, I was allowed to process things I didnt understand and come to this conclusion. Hopefully I will be able to continue this process while sober so I can process it at a slower rate and understand it in a way where I can explain it. In a weird way, I feel like the way I was while tripping was the way I am on the day to day, Im just never allowed to focus on it.

Fuck.

Theres so much to go over. I want to go over the spiritual part of it all for the knowledge of others and their enlightenment. I want to face my personal issues because its a huge fucking problem. I didnt realize before last night just how fucking bad it was. I mean, I knew it was bad. I knew that I wanted to never exist because life is so fucking pointless its pitiful how much people try to make it work, but last night I was able to process just how bad it was. *insert crying laughing emoji* the fact that I just said life was pointless and theres no point to anything probably seems like a huge deal but it wasnt. The bigger deal is that thats how I feel but Im not going to give up because my purpose is to help humanity come a little further along to understanding that purpose. Its strange to come to the realization that my life will have no actual end (as in a beginning and end of a book like the end of sex). It will continue with the next person fascinated by psychology and the meaning of our purpose. Just like all the other people in history who have done amazing things. Benjamin Franklin took one step toward understanding electricity and bettering lives of the others ahead of us. I hope I can follow in his footsteps and create a better life for the people around me and in the future.

I really wanna keep typing but Im getting tired so Im going to put this down for a minute.  

I took a shower. Get readly for another dose of your fav ginger. One of the topics we touched on was our day to dday masks. On the daily we tend to put on a mask of how we want others to percieve us. When we were going from upstairs to downstairs one specific event I remember so vividly was looking in the mirror before we went and trying to make my hair look nice. I was trying to go from a spiritual expierence to trying to be my normal self. I dont like my normal self. Its not me. Its not who I want to be. Ive been trying so hard to be what tohers want me to be that Im totally forgetting to be myself. To be what makes me special. I dont wanna put the mask back on. Phantom of the opera is a story about removing your mask. Its one of my fav movies and Im only just realizing it.

[6gpymfzi-blog]

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