#i could say no but scary....
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being extroverted and autistic is one of the worst combinations i swear
like yes, friends!! hanging out!! fun things, living life, yapping, spending hours together and meeting new people!!!
but then i get just a second alone and realize that holy SHIT i am tired. i am exhausted. everything makes me want to cry. i don't want to speak for the next week. i want to bedrot in comfy clothes, i want to lay in my closet until my legs hurt from cramping too much to bear. and then i have to go back to my friends and be fine and then i start feeding off the energy and using the amount of Spoons i have that are in the negative now and will make me have 0 energy for much longer than i should
so anyways i've hung out with 4 different people in 5 days and have a sleepover with 3 people at the end of this week, i was just with those 3 people for the 4th surrounded by people i barely knew, and literally interacted with a total of 2 people all of june why is july when everyone comes for me???
#mild rant#i love my friends but#let me rest#i could say no but scary....#also i didn't even bring up masking being a system or mildly masking the autism...#anyways regular tags now#did#dissociative system#endogenic safe#endogenic system#mixed origin system#pluralgang#actually did#did community#plurality#willo safe#autism#actually autistic#autistic
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Etho never being able to communicate exactly what Bdubs means to him to Bdubs directly and Bdubs always being left to wonder but still waiting right there all this time is actually fucked up and insane they’re so tragic
#personal#and it’s not for lack of trying he’s trying so hard#Etho loves him so bad but he has to fight his whole nature to try and show it#and wishes Bdubs could just understand without him saying the words#because it’s too scary to say them after all this time#why can’t it just be unspoken but understood#life series#past life#shaking them I hate you you lunatics#ethubs
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makes a childrens-book-type-book titled "everybody fucks" to teach repressed tgirls that its ok to have sex
#i get that the tittering and ooOOOooo-ing and they oh my goodness how could you say that is like part of the fun for some girls#but are you gonna live in a fucking yuribait series forever or are you gonna enter in to a world where sex isnt a boogeyman#it can still be big and complicated and kinda scary even! it is! but you can like acknowledge it as a thing of the world you live in#instead of she which must not be named#execnotes
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i loved the part of the book where piranesi resolves to take better care of himself while he's rediscovering his own history. he just has so much compassion for himself! the journal upsets him so he takes a week off and does things he enjoys and then he settles into a safe place when he wants to tackle the subject again. and he doesn't believe The Other when he's told about his amnesia! he values his own insights and his own knowledge of the House even when fucking ketterley is actively trying to undermine his sense of self. piranesi's gentle treatment of himself and the person he used to be is genuinely so moving.
#piranesi#i could go on about his recounting of the times he let himself go hungry and made stupid decisions#but there's nothing in the way of self-recrimination#he just says:#i didn't know then what i know know and i would do things differently#he stands up for himself when he's talking to raphael too even though he likes her#obvs he's got oodles of compassion for other people too#he takes care of the dead. he gives nesting material to the albatrosses. he leaves the herring gulls alone before retrieving the paper#he enters the scary room for The Other. he warns sixteen about the flood. he blesses the prophet#(who does not fucking deserve it)#he writes directions to the statue#even when he comes back he goes and finds poor james ritter#but it's the self compassion that touches me the most
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#zelda#legend of zelda#ocarina of time#link#linktober#day 13: phantom#aquanutart#actually i meant to do this for day 2: temple but ...#i guess i could really stretch it and say it's day 15 favorite character (oot link)#i listened to the forest temple music while working on this until i couldn't take it anymore#i hear it in my head when i look at this#the haunted paintings are so cool. this temple is amazing#i love how it's not dark and claustrophobic all the time but also has these bright outdoor areas that are eerily overgrown and abandoned#and then it whiplashes you into stuff like the twisted hallways. it's so cool#i'm not really into spooky/scary stuff but eerie with a sense of implied history and mysteries from years ago? go for it#also the wallmasters teaching us all to deal with anxiety in adulthood#(that is: sense its lurking presence; dodge it when it falls; slash it apart but dont let it split into smaller ones that run away from you
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mr. girlboss gaslight gatekeep himself
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv season 2#amc iwtv#armand#the vampire armand#assad zaman#iwtv fanart#art#illustration#digital art#artists on tumblr#clip studio paint#csp#this man came on set and ACTED#he was so scary and handled the character SO WELL#he eye acts too and it was INSANE#like ppl say sam reid was possessed by lestat but i think the same could be said for assad like he went nuts#also love his botticelli curls they were a pleasure to draw
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Eclipse, this is why you get held down for maintenance. Because you can’t keep your hands to yourself.
#Eclipse loooooves squishing Henry’s face around in his hands#He also constantly has Patrick Bateman-esque commentary going on inside his head. Like he’s not even trying to be scary or aggressive#He’s just like “your hair and skin are nice and oily. I wish I could recreate it. So I could hold you whenever I wanted.”#And Henry has to gently remind him to stop saying creepy shit like that.#As you can probably tell I almost forgot Henry’s glasses AGAIN#Tsams henry#Tsams eclipse#eclipse/henry#Henry/eclipse#teaps henry#teaps eclipse#Xnack draws#Tsams#teaps
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Masters' Academy AU: Magic // Dipper's First Spell
This is just a test page to play with the vibes, Danny playing mentor to the year's two magical newbies. I do find it funny the amount you can read into a page that was never intended to be in the story or even to have dialog written for it.
Art by @okkennymay Line art beneath the cut.
Feel free to play coloring book with these, I know I might. :)
#masters’ academy au#danny phantom#paranorman#gravity falls#parapines#okkennymay#Danny Fenton equal parts scary highschooler and supportive older brother#I could say more but it's 2am and I've been editing pics and watching taskmaster and writing commentary for queued post all evening#I'm going to bed.#thanks again kenny it's everything I imagined#that really is the last of them for now#I promise#Unless I find someone else I feel like commissioning#if you take Kofi say hi
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Guess which outfit I wore on my only public outing to the grocery store today and what I’ve been wearing to draw outside, clean like crazy, and give my dogs a spa day😭😭
Plus my studio ghibli redraw of Seb and Eloise🥹🥹🥹 they look like BABIES😭♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
#Tuesdays are kind of like my day off🫶 so I take advantage and do a LOT !!!!!#btw things with me are better not fixed but better we are working on it♥️#Lots and lots of uncomfortable terrible but necessary conversations#and starting therapy which is scary bc I do NOT like opening up except on tumblr which is my stupid diary#anyways I genuinely love all of you and I hope to be more present here agian soon#ignoring the fandom nonsense I almost wrote my own post about it#but it basically could be summed up by interact with what you’re interested in#ignore what you want#and there aren’t many creators active atm and we all support each other#so if there’s anything you wish you could see in the fandom that people aren’t posting about#maybe you could create it yourself🫶 people are nice I swear#and I’m getting so sad and tired of people assuming everything is disingenuous bc what does it accomplish to just assume the worst of people#ok that’s my rant it’s all I’m going to say about this whole nonsense♥️
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feeling like sid with all this parts swapping
#snap chats#im not saying im gonna be one of those people who post figure pics a lot... but just know i am having fun vjeALVKEAJ#JUST REMEMBERED I COULD DO WHAT I WANT WITH MY FIGURES he looks so good like this.... girl ima throw up..#like why did i cackle when i realized i could swap the headmaster and classic heads. my god.#i DO prefer purple hands over red... whatever..#the headmaster hands are a lil bit darker than the classic outfit's purple but you can barely tell#its actually kinda funny to note headmaster's hands are SLIGHTLY bigger than classic's#actually so illegal the classic fit doesnt naturally come with a helmetless head but it also makes sense from a marketing perspective i fea#the funny bit is that the leftover bits from headmaster mags can perfectly set it up that hes pissed classic took his parts... lol..#whatever point is now i can make charles and mags properly smooch ... lifes good....#anyways i guess im streaming tomorrow... scary !!!! gonna post more details bout that Tomorrow#for now... i have toys to play with i LOVE being an adult....
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we haven't seen a dorian and orym who've confessed their feelings and have openly talked about how much they love and care about each other on the battlefield yet, dorian whose never felt this kind of love before but knows he has to protect it and orym who Has felt this kind of love before and has had it ripped away from him and is gonna do everything he possibly can to never have that love taken from him again and will hold onto it with a white knuckled grip
#personal#critical role#dorym#ignoring the possibility of death rn btw I DONT WANNA HEAR IT#at least not right at this moment 😭#i need to pick apart liam's brain to know exactly how orym feels about falling in love again#like this must be so exciting and thrilling and scary and anxious esp going into this fight knowing he could lose someone he loves Again#and dorian feeling a million things at once bc this is the first time he's ever felt like this and he doesn't quite know what to do or say#but he knows he needs to keep this person safe and alive and healthy and the absolute madness he must be feeling
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no meta, i just like it when barok tells bullies "shut the hell up and let him speak"
#you could say he's only doing this to let ryuu continue to sabotage his own case but i think it's more complicated than that#i think he's a big scary guy who uses his big scary voice to make sure quieter people are heard#even when he doesn't like them very much#ratty replay#tgaa spoilers
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Ya ever find it weird that Bahamut barely has his role talked about in game? How strange his role really is?
Bahamut, the bladekeeper
Bahamut, the draconian
Bahamut, the keeper of prophecies and creator of the crystal
Bahamut, the god of war
Bahamut, the god who never provided a real reason for why so much blood had to be spilled for his prophecy to come true
Bahamut, who misled Ardyn and Somnus both into petty violence
Bahamut, who told Ardyn to spread the scourge upon the world for decades
Bahamut, who let Ardyn go on a vengeful killing spree just long enough to really hate Lucis- but not get his revenge- and then let him go back on his merry way to Nifilheim and Verstael Besithia who had ambitions of war and tin soldiers powered by scourge
Bahamut, who enabled a war that killed nearly everyone on both sides not to mention those who were caught in the crossfire- a war that would not have been so bloody had Ardyn not had such a hand in it
Bahamut, who demanded a blood price 2,000 years in the making- who really demanded two sacrifices- Ardyn and Noctis- who did not need both for there is a world where Noctis at least lives and the sun rises and no one else needed to die for it.
Bahamut, the god of war, the creator of the crystal
It’s a strange pairing when taken with the story of ff15. That’s all.
#if I were a war god I sure as shit would have ulterior motives while writing prophecies#like I’m just saying it’s weird right#that Bahamut of all people is the one dishing out prophetic visions#that Bahamut is the one with both hands in the bloody bloody tragedy#despite the fact that literally any of the other gods could have been the figurehead#or they could have made it a group project#but it very clearly appears to be Bahamut’s work that the other gods just need to sign off on#which like- again that’s weird right#there’s no reason for the war god to have prophetic powers#there’s no real reason for Bahamut specifically to even be part of the game#he doesn’t even- far as I know- have a history of being prophetic#his history in the series is largely defined by being big and scary and smiting with megaflare#why not swap his and Ifrit’s places in the narrative?#after all Ifrit has better reasons to be messing around with kingdoms and prophecies#and Bahamut has better reasons to be driven mad with scourge#or go one step further in the tomfoolery#and have Shiva Bahamut and Ifrit trade roles (in that order)#my point here is that I stopped and thought about the prophecy and stopped taking it as the word of god truth#and it gets really weird really fast when you realize that the consequences of the prophecy are awful convenient for a war god#*insert that image of the guy with his conspiracy board*#nyx rambles#ffxv#ff15#final fantasy 15#final fantasy xv#bahamut#ffxv bahamut
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call me if you have a breakdown
youtube
#the imagined familial relationship napsta and mtt have in my mind that is b&g is very importante to me#mtt 'abandons' napsta in that house to go make it somewhere else and like goes full cold contact#napsta knows mtt is in the area but they stop talking and calling each other and all that as mtt figures himself out#and whatever happened in those 2 years where napsta was left at home by themselves is unknown cause theyll never say#maddie blames that mtt shouldve stayed home and just took it for napstas sake but instead jeopardized their plans entirely#to which mtt has thoughts lol cause maddie moved out first technically#but regardless. they dont reconnect until years later when mtt is like. 21 and has a freakout on his birthday at work#and locks himself in the Underground bathroom and for the first time in years rings the home phone#and when napsta picks up he begs them to come get him#and its sort of a big thing because naptsa is a shut-in and very well known to be one. hence why maddie wanted mtt to tough it out#and stay a little longer#cause napsta only really lives within the parameters of their house and goes no further. hasnt gone outside alone since they were kids#very devout socially anxious shut-in does not mix with loud crowded underground bar. but napsta does come#and picks up their cousin cause like in canon napsta still cares about their cousin#this is all pre-b&g stuff but twas listening to this song and thought about them. i like the reality ive created in my mind#napsta being a very religious muslim who struggles to live in society but will make the scary trek to pick up their cousin#from a hysterical breakdown because they care and they know mtt still cares about them too and how its just#really hard to exist sometimes so they gotta be there for each other#i think this is how mtt finds out the house is empty and that everyones gone so hes able to come home now#napsta tries walking him there and hes scared to go until napsta says its empty and filled with dust now#and that theyve been gardening to feed themself but havent been able to call anybody to fix a busted light#and mtt covered in makeup smears and drool and tears just walks in and quietly fixes it himself while napsta watches#i could go on for hoursbut i have to go to the ocean rn#boys & girls#fanart#Youtube
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#these two need to admit they started to restaurant to remain close to each other by season 16 or i riot#fools.#carmy is retiring yet he's fighting and does not like when sydney just says cool- he wants more and reveals he thought she would be happy#he's leaving#he's so stupid#this is why he gave it over to sydney#he could see sydney could do it without him#that's scary#that she loves him but doesn't need him#sydcarmy#carmy x sydney
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We found 7/8 pages today?
#It's funny because my girlfriend and I like to walk around these woods at night. And I like to be annoying and say “OH FUCK A SLENDERMAN!”#Because she told me she was scared of him as a kid. But I guess there really was a Slenderman all along.#Not really that scary in broad daylight though.#I'm really sad we didn't find the last one. Where could his page be...
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