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unfoldingmoments · 8 months ago

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Building Your Identity In Christ

From The Leader’s Cut with Preston Morrison

Not understanding our identity in Christ will keep us living far below our rights and privileges in Christ. The fastest way for a Christ follower to live a subpar life is to have zero idea who they are in Him. The extent to which you know Christ and who you are in Christ is the extent to which you will live the abundant life Christ came to give.

The God of the universe thinks so highly of you that He established your inheritance that you will receive in its fullness for eternity. And the inheritance is not just all things. The inheritance is all of Him.

What's up, everybody? Welcome back to The Leader's Cut. This is your first time joining The Leader's Cut.

What's going on? It's great to have you as a part of this conversation. Jump into the comments, let us know where you're from, let us know how you got here.

“The Leader's Cut isn't just a me thing, it's an us thing. And so I love to see the conversation go on between those of us who feel called to this community of like-minded believers. So welcome, whether it's your first time, whether it's your 50th time.

I don't even know how many episodes we've done, but it's probably more than 50. Welcome to you all. As you can see from the thumbnail, we're talking about something that it's really hard for me to stay still talking about, all right?

So admittedly, I just say, I get a little bit swaggy. Whenever we talk about this, it's hard for me just to be like, when we talk about our identity in Christ, if it doesn't stir you up, you're not getting it, all right? So let's pray, and especially I'm gonna pray over those who are really feeling beaten down by the enemy, just bombarding them with lies.

“If that's you, buckle up, get out a notebook, get out your Bible, get out something to write with, because I believe the Holy Spirit is going to visit you right where you are using this conversation. So let's pray. Holy Spirit, thank you.

Thank you for being so wonderful. Thank you for being so gentle. You could be so angry with me, with us.

You could be so annoyed with me, with us. Yet, you are so kind and loving and gentle. And so Holy Spirit, we invite you in to this conversation.

Desiring that you would be the head of the conversation. You'd be the one steering it and guiding it. We didn't step into this conversation to hear Preston speak.

We'll all exit this thing immediately if that's what we're here for. Holy Spirit, we came to hear your voice. Would you reveal to us who we are in Christ?”

“Whether we've been walking with Jesus for an hour or for decades. Holy Spirit, cut on us anywhere where we have some built up scarring in our flesh related to the lies the enemy has always told us about us. Set every captive free from every lie from your enemy, O God.

And would you liberate us to step into the truth about us as we learn what you say about us. That is what is true. So Holy Spirit, do what you do, because God knows I can't.

We pray all these things in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen.

All right. I want to read a passage of Scripture from the book of Colossians. And I want this to calibrate our hearts and our minds.

We're going to go through a lot of Scripture in this episode, and I want this passage right here. These three verses, the beginning of Colossians chapter 3, to really serve as our calibration. It says this, Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand.”

Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life. This is speaking to believers.

You died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.

What a great passage to really help calibrate our hearts and our minds as we step into this conversation about our identity in Christ. Here's the reality, too many people view themselves through what others say about themselves, through what the world says about them, through what the enemy says about them. And God goes on a record in Colossians 3 and says, Listen, as a believer in Jesus, you need to set your sights, your thoughts on the realities of heaven, the truth, not this silly, frivolous conversation on the earth among earthlings.

If we're going to truly walk in our identity in Christ, we're going to have to run away from the words of man and from man's understanding oftentimes of us. A couple of questions we're going to answer. Several of them we're just going to go through briefly because really the last question, we're going to spend the bulk of our time talking through.

So here's the first question. As we talk about identity and really the two options between building your identity in Christ and building your identity on anything else, what happens when you build your life on the wrong identity or the wrong thing? Tim Keller said one time, and I love this quote, the Bible says that our real problem is that every one of us is building our identity on something besides Jesus.

This is a weighty thought that paints a very clear picture that anything you build your life upon, including your identity, anything other than Jesus that you choose to build your life upon is going to wreak havoc in your entire life. Matthew chapter 7, there is a wonderful picture of this that maybe you've heard this passage, maybe you haven't, but let's read it together because I want you to understand just how serious it is that you build your life, including your identity, on Jesus and not on anything else. Matthew chapter 7, starting in verse 24.”

These are the words of Jesus. He says, Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won't collapse because it is built on bedrock.

But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn't obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rain and flood floods come and the winds beat against that house, watch what happens. It will collapse with a mighty crash.

Now some of us hear this and go, eh, what's the big deal? It's interesting to me that the very next verse in this chapter says, and as the people heard this teaching from Jesus, they were amazed by it. Why would the people listening to Jesus teach this principle be so amazed?

“But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn't obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rain and flood floods come and the winds beat against that house, watch what happens. It will collapse with a mighty crash.

Here's my personal belief. Because most humans are building their lives on many other things other than Jesus. As we attach this philosophy of building your life on either Jesus or building your life on anything else, on Jesus, you can go through any storm, bedrock, no problem.

Listen to me, if you choose to build your life, including your identity, on anything other than Jesus, anytime the smallest of storms comes at you, you're going to be overwhelmed, and it's going to feel like your ship is sinking, your house is collapsing. Let's connect this specifically to our identity in Christ. Not understanding our identity in Christ will keep us living far below our rights and privileges in Christ.

Another way to say it, the fastest way for a Christ follower to live a subpar life is to have zero idea who they are in Him. Now, I want to kind of illustrate this so that you really get this picture, because there's really no point in us having this conversation about who you really are, who God says you are. Because if you're feeling wobbly, and you're just being picked on by the enemy, and anxiety, and depression, and confusion, and all of those things, it's going to do us no good to talk about how to navigate those storms.

If you don't really understand, it's a choice. It's a very black and white choice. You're either going to build on Jesus, or you're going to build on anything else.

I want you to imagine that your father is a multi, multi, multi billionaire. And your father passes that inheritance to you as an only child. The day your father passes, you inherit, let's just say, hundreds of billions of dollars.

Some of you are like, I like this, this story. But I want you to think about what good would an inheritance from the richest person on the earth do if you, as the one receiving the inheritance, don't live accordingly as a result of it? Think about it.

If you inherited hundreds of billions of dollars, but you never spent a dime of it, would it really even matter what you inherited? Even if you had access to hundreds of billions of dollars, but every day of your life, you ate crackers, mac and cheese, and water with no ice. Because in your mind, you had become convinced that you were poor.

And so because you believe that, you live according to that belief. Okay, that's the financial picture of it. Let's ask the spiritual question.

What good is a spiritual inheritance from the creator of heaven and earth? So not the richest person on earth, the creator of heaven and earth, if you don't live accordingly as a result of it?

There are so many things as the sons and daughters of God that we have inherited that affect who we now are and forever will be. But listen to me, I know many, many believers in Jesus who for one reason or another have chosen not to believe what scripture teaches about who God says they are, about how God sees them, and everything that comes with being His. I see a ton of believers who don't even realize they have inherited billions, but are not even spending spiritual pennies every day.

The problem is you will always live according to what your strongest beliefs are. Now, I want to be really careful with this next picture, but we're living in a day where some men are saying they're women, that they believe themselves to be a woman, something other than the way God created them, and that some women are saying they believe themselves to be men. Now, I'm not trying to push anybody's buttons.

I'm trying to help you see how powerful a belief can be, that God can create a person one way, but their personal belief about themselves can be so powerful that it's possible that in their everyday life, what they believe about themselves trumps what God actually says and did. And we're all freaking out about it, because we're so focused on the man-woman thing. Look beyond that, at how powerful the mind is.

You will always live according to what your strongest beliefs are. And we got all these believers running around just freaking out. I'm not saying it's a good thing, it certainly is.”

“The trans issue, the trans issue. You know what's even scarier in the church than a man saying he is a woman or a woman saying she is a man? What is far to me scarier than that is a spiritual multi-billionaire.

I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about spiritual inheritance, convinced they are spiritually homeless. And if I was the enemy, I'd get the church so worked up on people who believe that they are a woman when they were born a man.

I'd get everybody all worked up on that belief so that no one would be paying attention to the much larger group of people in the church who are spiritual billionaires living their everyday lives as though they were spiritually homeless. You will always live according to what your strongest beliefs are. I'm not talking about what you look like on your best day, because everybody can fake themselves out with that fake confidence on their best day.

I'm talking about on your worst day. I can tell a lot about you based on how you live on your worst day, how you behave on your worst day. You will always live according to what your strongest beliefs are.

2.And this is why we must understand what Scripture teaches us about who we truly are. The second question that we really need to answer in this conversation is, okay, what should your identity not be built on? This is, before we talk about what our identity is built on, let's kind of talk through what most people actually build their identity on.

The lies we believe about God are the most dangerous lies in all the earth. But in my opinion, the second most dangerous lies in all the earth are the lies we believe about ourselves.

What you believe about God that is not true. I don't know that there is a bigger lie that is more dangerous than that, but right below that, the lies you believe about yourself. Remember, Satan is the accuser of the Brethren.

He's not just accusing you before God, he's accusing you. He's accusing you before you. He's literally, some of you, he is taunting.

This is who you are. I tell you this all the time, never believe what a liar says, especially when a liar talks about God and a liar is talking about you. Never believe what the father of lies says about the F father.

And never believe what the father of lies says about you as God's child. Now, the list I'm going to give you is, I don't know that we could ever call A list a comprehensive list, but it's a fairly robust list of things I've seen over the years, the last couple of decades, that people tend to build their lives upon. And they all fit in a bucket.

1 John 2 actually describes these three buckets that people build their lives upon that are no good. 1 John 2 verse 15 says, Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the father is not in him.

For all that is in the world, here are the three buckets, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the father, but of this world. And the world is passing away and the lust of it. But he who does the will of God abides forever.

Powerful passage helping us understand that what the world offers, essentially, all of it falls into three buckets. Lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, the pride of life. All of the things I'm about to give you on this list of things that many of us have either tried to build our lives upon or presently are building our lives upon.

“Everything on this list fits in one of these three buckets, okay? Let's walk through some of the things that humans tend to build their lives on. That we must never, ever build our lives upon.

1.First, you cannot build your life upon what you've done. That's sin, right? Why is it such a big deal not to build your life, your identity on what you've done in your past, the sin of your past and the shame associated with it?

I think one of the reasons is if Satan can get you to believe that you are what you did, he knows you'll struggle to receive what Jesus did for you. And so he goes to work constantly in whatever way possible, trying to describe you, labeling you as what you did in your past that you were most ashamed of. This is like the Enemies Playbook 101.”

“He loves to define you and me by what we've done, which would separate us from God. Sin. You cannot, I don't care what you've done in your past, you cannot define yourself by what you've done.

You are not what you did. As a child of God, you are not what you did. And you cannot build your understanding of yourself on anything sinful you did in your past.

2.Here's the second thing, that you cannot build your identity upon what you do. So not just what you did, what you do. Another way to say that, success.

How many people do we know who are building their lives on success, on going big, doing the big thing, having the notoriety, getting all the trophies, all the accolades, success?”

Why must you never build your identity upon success? Well, the most simple answer is, because it's fleeting. Success is never constant.

So why would you ever build your identity on something that's always a moving target? You want to be miserable?

Build your identity, your understanding of who you are based off of success. Hey, when you have a good quarter, you're going to feel good.

But you know, most of the time, what you're going to feel? Bad. Because success is a moving target, and it's never ever constant.

The greatest athletes in the world peak and then begin to regress. Success is not forever, so don't build your life and your understanding of who you are in this life on success. If Satan can get you to believe that you are what you do, he knows you'll struggle to rest in what Jesus did.”

“I've been guilty of that one. When I was younger, the enemy convinced me, you are what you do. You're successful, Preston, as long as you are experiencing success presently.

Oh my word, the lack of sleep I got. I was literally incapable of resting in God. When I was too busy trying to be successful, even in the name of God.

Why? Because my identity in that season was built not on the Spirit of God, but on success. And I made it sound godly, because I said success in the name of God.

You cannot build your identity, your understanding of who you are on success. If life is like being an athlete, you're going to have some good games and some bad games. You cannot define yourself, whether you are good or bad, based off whether you do good or bad.

3.The next thing, you cannot build your identity on is what you have. Possessions, your stuff. How many people do we see?”

My Lord, as we were printing money during COVID in this country and some other countries around the world, how many people? Have you gone to the mall recently and seen how many, I'm going to just say this tongue-in-cheek, bougie stores are popping up in malls, and they have lines outside the door? I don't think it's not inherently wrong, but I mean, you see people, and you know not all of those people can afford those possessions.

Why on earth would they be waiting in line to spend thousands and thousands of dollars that they don't have on one little possession? Here's the answer. Because unfortunately, they're building their identity off of what they have.

Please hear my heart. I'm not saying every single person who has something nice is building their identity on what they have. I'm talking about.

If you can't afford something and you still buy it, that's an identity thing. It really is. It's not just a longing thing.

“It's not just a covetous thing. It's an identity thing. And the enemy loves to come and chirp and say, hey, you'll be more impressive if that which you own is more impressive.

So overspend. If Satan can get you to believe that you are what you have, he knows you'll struggle with chasing what will never be satisfying. You can never chill.

When you're dead set, determine to chase. You can't build your understanding of you on what you have, possessions come and go. And after this life, the possessions of this life literally mean nothing.

I'm not saying constantly have nothing. Hear my heart. I'm saying don't allow your identity to be in your new pair of shoes.

Get a pair of shoes because you like them and because you can afford them. Don't get a pair of shoes because you think it does something for your identity.”

“Building your understanding of you on what you have is literally like building a house on sinking sand. It will never ever be enough. No matter how much sand you bring to this party, there will never be enough to keep the house from crumbling.

4.Here's the next thing. We cannot build our identity on where you come from. Where you come from.

Now, I know that not everybody struggles with this, but man, I've seen some people really not be able to get beyond what they grew up in or around or with. Their upbringing, their family of origin. Why can we not build our identity on where we came from?

Well, let's take the positive. Let's say your father is a billionaire, your mother is a billionaire, and you're not getting a dime from them in your inheritance. Just because your parents are wealthy doesn't mean you are.

If you make who they are to be your identity, here's what will happen. My experience is you'll never feel like you're enough, and you'll always end up chasing things that never actually bring anything to help you understand you're more than enough. The negative side of it, if Satan can get you to believe that you are what you come from, he knows you'll struggle taking your place in the family, capital F, the family of God, the family business, because you're too focused on your family's generational curses.

Well, I just come from a family that's always struggled with this.

Be careful. Think about Saul. Think about the people in Scripture who thought less of themselves because of the family they came from.

We shouldn't either think we are more than someone because of the family, we came from, or less than anyone because of the family we came from. The family I came from doesn't make me better or worse than you. It's just a part of who I am.

But you cannot build, whether good or bad, you cannot build your understanding of you based off of where you come from. Well, I came from poverty, I'm always going to be poor. Or I came from a family of success, I've always got to be a success.

5.No, no. Don't build your identity, don't build your life on that. The next thing you cannot build your identity on is who you know.

I see this one, especially with the younger or the older that are a little less mature. Connections, there's this braggadocious thing about who you know. I know this person, you're always name dropping.

I don't mean to out anybody who name drops a lot, but one of the things I've learned and I used to name drop a lot when I was younger, people who drop the name of others don't really even understand the name God has given them to live in with.”

“And I would say for His name, if you got to be dropping everybody else's name, you don't have an understanding of you. You don't. When you go into the presence of God, God isn't talking about all those other impressive people you think you know.

It comes to be with you, to talk about you, to talk directly to you, personally with you. What's the negative sign of this? If Satan can get you to believe that you are who you know, he knows you'll struggle giving God glory because you give too much credit to man.

When I was all about my connections, I got this job because of this person, I did this because of this hookup, I was constantly giving glory to man. They got all the credit, not glory to God. God shares his glory with no one.

You cannot build your life based on who you know. This whole thing of, I forget the actual saying, but this thought of life is all about who you know, not what you know. It's all about who you know, not what you know.

Bro, if you build your life based on who you think you know, the substance of your life will be shallow for the rest of your life. God made you. He made you specifically, personally.

We're going to talk about that later in this episode. But you cannot build your life based on who you know. Then here's the last one.

6.You can't build your life, your identity, your understanding of yourself on how well you're known. Another word for that, fame. How many times do we see this?

Fame chasers. They don't believe that they are who God says they are, so they chase after everybody knowing and saying their name. If Satan can get you to believe that you are how well you're known, he knows you'll struggle with trying to be a man or a woman who wants to be who everybody else wants them to be.

“This will keep you. If you really want to be known by the world, you'll do whatever you have to be to be liked by the world, which will keep you from fully becoming who God created you to be. You can't build your understanding of you based off of how well everybody knows your name.

I'm going to have fun talking about that one at the end. Okay, so those are the things, the list I'm giving you of things we can't build our life on, we can't build our identity on, we can't build this understanding we have of ourselves on any of those things, all right? This third question is a really quick answer, and we're going to jump right to number four and spend the rest of the episode here.

3.The third question, what happens when you build your life on the correct identity? So we walk through, you know, what happens when you build it on the incorrect identity? It's like building on sand, the house comes crumbling down.”

“We walk through the individual things one can incorrectly build their life, their identity upon, and the dangers of each of them. But what happens when you build your life on the correct things? Here's what I would say as it relates to your identity, when you build on Jesus, when you build your identity on and in Jesus, here's what I believe in arguably will happen.

You will have an unshakable confidence. You will have undisturbed peace. You will have immeasurable settledness.

If I started this episode by saying, question, how many of you want more? Let me say like this. If I started the episode and said, how many of you want an unshakable confidence, an undisturbed peace, an immeasurable settledness?

How many of you would have said yes? Every single one of you. Okay, I actually think the answer is really, really simple.

Now, it's going to take a lifetime of work. Listen to me. The extent to which you know Christ and who you are in Christ is the extent to which you will live the abundant life Christ came to give.”

“It's that simple. It ain't easy, but it is simple. All right, so as we walk through question number four, as we walk through our identity as a believer in Jesus and these things I'm about to teach you are true for every son or daughter of God, okay?

To the extent you understand these things, is the extent to which you will live the abundant life Jesus came to give. And if you do not understand these things, you're not going to have abundant life. I'm not just talking about spiritually, I'm talking about in every area of life, all right?

4.Question number four, what is the identity of every believer? What actually is the identity of every believer? Now, remember, the other side of that coin is what must we not build our identity on?

So I'm going to kind of use what I told you not to build your life upon, and I'm going to juxtapose it with the things we must build our identity in Christ upon. Hey, remember, the first thing was, you must not build your identity on what you've done. Here's Jesus' response to that.

You must build your identity first on this. You are forgiven.

You are forgiven.

You. Yeah, but Preston, you. Are you a believer in Jesus?

That's what I thought. You. You are forgiven.

In my opinion, the greatest gift man will ever receive is forgiveness from God. Isaiah 43 verse 25, God says it like this, I, yes, I alone will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again. Like we're going to get into some passages here that are going to light you on fire.

And if you are getting your tail kicked in with the enemy just chirping lies about who you are, you're about to get your little soul set on fire. Can you imagine the God of the universe looking you right in the eyes and saying, I alone blot out your sins. I forgive your every sin for my own sake.

Why would God forgive you for his own sake and not yours? You want to hear something romantic? God forgives you for his own sake?

One of the biggest reasons why is because he wants relationship with you that badly. Sin separated man from God and only through forgiveness. Can man, man's relationship with God be restored?

And so God personally says, use your own name. God says, Sarah, Alan, I forgive your sins for my own sake because I want relationship, intimate fellowship with you so badly. It cannot be experienced outside of my forgiving you of your sins and your receiving my forgiveness.

Here's the question. Listen to what he says. I'll never think of your sins again.

I blot them out, I forgive them, and I will never think of your sins again. I have a question for you. How consistently do you think of the sins of your past?

How many times a week do you allow the enemy to keep bringing up that thing you did that you are most ashamed of? How close do you keep the memory of your worst deed? Is it always within reach?

To define yourself by and with? You want me to tell you how closely God keeps your sin to you? Psalm 103, verse 12.

God has removed our sins as far from us, you. God has removed, let me personalize it. God has removed your sin as far from you as the East is from the West.

Please hear my heart. I know some of us have heard this verse many times. We should be able to hear this verse thousands of times and never stop getting thoroughly overwhelmed by it.

I can't tell you how many lies I made early on in my life. I was a liar's liar, and I let the enemy define me by my lies, even after I tried to stop lying. And it wasn't until I got a revelation of this one verse, every day I woke up, I always felt with an arm's reach of what I had done that I was so embarrassed by.

It wasn't until God gave me a revelation of this verse, Preston, the reason I don't say, as far as the north is from the south, is because eventually you can get to the north pole or the south pole. You can reach them. I said, as far as the east is from the west, because east will never reach west.

You go chase it, you will always be running. Preston, that's how far I have removed your nasty, but blood-soaked, covered sins from you. You are not what you did.

You are forgiven.

Here's the next way to combat the whole you are what you did. You're a new creation. You're a new creation.

When you believe you are what you've done, you'll just keep doing what you did.

2 Corinthians 5.17, though, gives us incredible hope. This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person, a new creation. The old life is gone, and a new life has begun.

Here's the best way to try and illustrate this. A new creation is like a completely new creature. The NLT describes it as a new person.

Many of the other translations translate this word as creature or creation. A new creation in Christ is like a totally different creature. Here's what it means.

In Christ, you don't just wake up to a new reality. You are given a completely new nature. Here's kind of a silly picture that I hope you'll remember.

Becoming a new creation in Christ Jesus would be like before Jesus being an elephant, but after salvation, you become a new creation. You don't just become a new elephant. This is the picture that God is painting for us in Scripture that at salvation, an old elephant doesn't just become a new elephant.

What was once an elephant after salvation becomes an airplane. I could literally spend 20 minutes on this one picture right here.

You would never compare an elephant to an airplane or an airplane to an elephant. An airplane gets up in the air, an elephant moves slowly on the ground, right? Two totally different things.

Here's one of the problems I see with many new believers. They think they're just a different elephant. No, dog.

The good news is much better news than that. You're not a new elephant. Track with me here.

You came up out of that grave, raised to new life like an airplane. No longer an elephant.”

For instance, I'll give you an actual example. One of my best friends on the planet was, before Christ, a raging alcoholic who tended to answer life's toughest questions with a bottle. But then, he gave his life to Jesus, and his whole world got flipped upside down.

And in and with Christ, as a completely new creation, my best friend now answers life's hardest questions with his Bible, not a bottle. A totally, totally different creation. New in Christ.

The way you overcome, when the enemy comes to chirp at you and go, You are what you did. No, I'm not, actually. My sin is as far as the east is from the west, away from me.

And I am a new creation in Christ Jesus. Yeah, before salvation, I was the elephant you're talking about. But God, who was rich in mercy and grace, by His grace, I'm no longer an elephant.

I am no longer a slave to sin. I'm one of heaven's airplanes. Track with my tongue and cheek here, okay?

I know you are. I know we've been running together long enough. You get what I'm saying.

How freeing is this? Some of us have just been thinking, I just got to be a better elephant. I just got to be a better elephant.

No, that's not the key to the abundant life. Understanding it is no longer you who lives, but Christ who lives in you. You ain't no elephant.

Saddle up, airplane. You were designed for divine places, places where elephants cannot go. So do not any longer allow the enemy to convince you.

You still are what you once were. You are not. You are a new creation.

Here's the next thing that was on the list. Remember that you can't build your identity upon on what you do. You are not what you do.

How do we combat this? Well, you build your identity on this principle, which Scripture teaches about you. You are loved.

You are not what you do. You are loved. I want you to think about a young woman who comes from poverty and a very wonderful kingdom with a king who is towards the end of his life, and this young woman, beautiful, but not on anyone's radar, because of the measure of poverty, she was often overlooked.

At school, no one paid attention to her, she had very few relationships in her life, and then one day, the son of the king fell in love with the nearly nameless little girl.

She had nothing to bring him, but the son of the king fell madly in love with the girl. Long story short, the prince proposes, they become husband and wife, the king passes away, the son of the king becomes the king, and the minute the son of the king becomes the king, the woman he was in love with immediately becomes the queen. Everything the girl becomes is the result of the love the king beholds her with.

As I read you the words of Paul in Romans chapter 8, two verses and to me, two of the most intimately, spiritually romantic verses in the Bible. I want you to receive these words because you are the nearly nameless little girl, and so am I. I want you to receive these words.

Paul, by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is writing these words that we're about to read, saying, I was once her, I was once the nearly nameless girl, but the son of the king fell in love with me and showed his love for me. And listen to the words he writes about the love of the king. And I am convinced that nothing, no thing can ever separate us from God's love.

Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow. Not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below.

Indeed, no thing in all of creation will ever be able to separate you from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus, our Lord. What? I'm the nearly nameless little girl, but the king fell in love with me.

The son of the king fell in love with me. And everything I have become and am becoming doesn't come down to the nearly nameless little girl. Everything I am and everything I'm becoming comes down to the love with which the kings behold me with.

This is who you are. You cannot take the bait and try to be what everyone says you are. You are the beloved of God.

God loves you the way a mother loves a newborn baby she has waited years to receive. I'm trying to illustrate this. I remember one day, I was just talking with the Lord, and I was going through some identity stuff, going through some work stuff, and kind of taking the bait that I was what I did, and on good days when I was doing a lot, I felt like I was a lot, and on days where I was not doing a lot, I felt less than everyone else.

And I remember saying to the Lord, Why do you love me? Such a bold question. And to be honest, I thought the Lord was going to respond saying this, giving some long list of all His favorite things about me.

Well, Preston, I love you because of this, and I love you because yesterday you did this, and I love you because a month ago you gave me this, and I love you because this, and because you are this, and you did this, and people call you this. I thought I was going to get a laundry list of all of His favorite things about me when I said, why do you love me? And I will never forget the answer He gave me.

I love you because I love you.

Do you know how many times, in a conversation with the Lord, I've asked some kind of question, and the answer he gives seems so simple, but the profundity, profundity with which it hits my soul, well beyond my mind, is indescribable. This was one such moment. Preston, I love you because I love you.

Do you know how freeing that was? For a boy who was trying to earn his love, well, I love you when you do this. I love you because you did that.

He took all of that off the table and said, you know, I'm gonna take all of your striving away from you because you are trying to earn something I have already showered you with. I love you because I love you.

He loves you because he loves you.

Build your identity, your understanding of yourself on that, you are.

You Don't get overwhelmed with the fact that God loves you. Get overwhelmed by the measure with which He loves you.

Moses said, who should I tell them sent me? And God so profoundly and powerfully says, tell them I am that I am. Sent you.

This is kind of a similar type response. You want to know why I love you? Because I love you.

Why do you love me so much? Because I love you.”

Build your understanding of yourself on the love God has for you. And I am telling you right now, you may be able to survive any storm, because the rest of it just doesn't matter. Nothing ever will make you feel what his love makes you feel.

I could get a billion compliments from man, and it will pale in comparison to one I love you from him.

Build on that. Here's the next thing that you should build your identity upon. To combat building your identity on what you do, build it on this, you're his child.

You're not just loved, you are loved as his child, if you are a believer in Jesus. 1 John 3 verse 1, See how very much our Father loves us? For he, God, calls us his children.

That is what I am. That is what you are. My favorite thing, if you were to catch me on the street and ask me, Preston, what's your favorite thing to be called by a human on this earth?

You might think, because of the way I talk about my wife, that my favorite thing to be called on the earth by a human is babe. Which is what she typically calls me, babe.

I don't fully understand why, but my favorite thing to be called by a human on this earth is daddy.

And my favorite thing to be called by God is son. Romans 8 verses 14, 15, 16 say, For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. So you have not received the Spirit that makes you fearful slaves.

Instead, you received God's Spirit when He adopted you as His own children. Now, we get to call Him Abba. Daddy is what that means.

Abba in Hebrew, Father. For His Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God's children. Don't you just love that one of the reasons God has given us His Holy Spirit to dwell on the inside of us is to shut up the lies of the enemy when the enemy says, You're an orphan.

“No one loves you. Don't you love that one of the biggest reasons God gives us His Spirit to dwell within us is to join with our spirit and say, That's a lie. You are a child.

You are a son. You are a daughter of God Most High. I will not, the Holy Spirit says, settle for these lies.

You are His daughter. You are His son. And I think kind of Preston's paraphrase of this passage is the Holy Spirit says, And Preston, one of his favorite things to be called is a daddy.

Which means, out of all the things he could call you, out of all the things people on this earth call me, pastor, friend, mentor, big brother, nephew, cousin, board member, all the names, Preston God's favorite thing to call you. His son. This last week, as of filming this, we adopted a five-year-old that from time to time I talk about.

His name is Maxon, and he's five and a half, and we've raised him for over three of his five and a half years. And finally became legal. We did our best.

“We had him two different times. We took care of him in the early days and sent him back to his mother. And just unfortunately, things weren't able to work out.

And so rather than see Maxon go into the system, we sensed very clearly the Lord saying, You're to adopt him. And I've been processing for the last week. Like I've known this was coming.

And it wasn't until I was preparing for this that something really hit me hardcore. Because I mean, I've had this process has taken a year. So I've had lots of time to process a lot of things.

And Maxon's been calling me daddy for a long time. And so that's not new.

But when the judge in that room said, with legal authority, it's my privilege to introduce for the very first time Maxon David Morrison. And then I was studying for this. A week later, I realized, that even though Maxon has been calling me daddy for the last couple years, it wasn't until the judge made that declaration.

You. That I can officially call him my son.

“And that word, I have two other sons. That word means something altogether different to me now, after the adoption.

And it's like when I got studying this, for this teaching, when I got the revelation from the Lord, that one of his favorite things to be called by me is daddy, according to Romans 8. But the other side of the coin is that means one of the, if not the most favorite thing he ever calls me is son. Son.

Build your life on that. Build your understanding of you on that. You're his child.

You can call me all kinds of names. After my message on tongues, I got called a few names. A confused child of Satan was my favorite one.

You can call me all kinds of names. But as long as he calls me son, I really don't care what you call me. Why?”

Because my life isn't built on you or what you call me or how you see me. My life is built on him. And he calls me son.

Here's the next thing. And I know we're spending a long time. This is gonna be a longer episode, and we're gonna hit 90 minutes.

And I know some of you aren't gonna make it all the way. But those of you who've been struggling with this, you'll probably come back to this one a few times to combat the lies of the enemy. Here's something else that you are.

You're a branch. John 15, 5, Jesus says, I'm the vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in me and I in him will produce much fruit, for apart from me, you can do nothing.

Listen to me. No good thing I ever do will ever be because of me. Let me say it for you.

No good thing you ever do on your job, on the field. No good thing you ever do will ever be because of you. The pressure isn't on me to perform when only God can produce the fruit.

So listen, you need to settle in. And don't build your whole life and your understanding of yourself on your believing the lie that the fruit produced in your life is produced by you. No, I'm just a branch.

You know how much better I sleep when I just am mindful? I'm just a branch. These episodes, you know, if I, as this thing is growing, do you know how much pressure I would feel to keep up with the growth and try and do more?

If I thought I was responsible for producing the fruit, can you even wrap your mind around how much stress I would live with? I'm just a branch.

In the hands of a mighty God. I'm a branch connected to the vine. That's what I am.

And every bit of fruit produced through my life is because of Him, not because of me. Build your understanding of you on that. You are not what you do.

Everything you do as a believer in Jesus is the Spirit of God doing something great through you. Every good thing you do is because He is at work in you, and He is moving through you. Which brings us to the last thing in this part of the conversation.

You're His workmanship. Not only are you not what you do, you're His workmanship. So this is a continuation of what I just told you.

Ephesians 2 verse 10 says for you, I'm personalizing it, are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that you should walk in them. Okay, if you tend to get cocky when you do something good, I just, I want to kind of burst your balloon sweetly just a little bit. Everything you do well is because you were created for it.

You compare yourself to other people who don't do what you do as well as you. And if your life is built on that, let me tell you what you experience a lot of, insecurity. If you live with a lot of comparison, you drown in a lot of insecurity.

You're drowning in it. Okay, if you do something well, everything I do well, you say, man, Preston, I love the way you preach. Yeah, I was created for it.

And the Creator is doing it through me. Don't give me the credit. It's all him.

In the same way, don't give yourself credit. It's all him. Okay, the next thing I told you not to build your life on, don't, you cannot build your identity on what you have.

All right? So how do we combat that? You build your identity, your understanding of yourself on this, not by what you have, but on this, you are paid for.

You are not what you have paid for. You are what was paid for you. 1 Peter 1 verses 18, 19, and 20 say, For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors.

There's that where I came from thing. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which loses their value. Everyone is so impressed with gold or silver.”

Peter's saying by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the price I was paid, ain't no gold or silver. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless lamb of God. God chose you.

He chose Jesus as your ransom, long before the world began. But now in these last days, He's been revealed for your sake. The picture I want to give you, that hopefully will help you understand, because if you kind of define yourself by what you have, which is so shaky at best, not even in storms, but especially in storms, if you notice when big storms come, everybody starts freaking out about their stuff.

They lose their job. I can't have this anymore. We got to sell this anymore.

When our identity is built on what we have, that's what life looks like. Anytime we lose something, we feel like we've lost value. Let me give you a picture of this.

I want you to imagine that you have a used car. This car has 420,000 miles on it. It's over 30 years old.

“It's an absolute piece of garbage that's been sitting in your cul-de-sac for a really long time. You're hard up on cash, so you decide, you know what? Even if I just get a hundred bucks for this car, I'm going to put it up for sale.

And somebody comes one day to your front door, knocks on the door. They see the car with the for sale sign in the cul-de-sac. Knock, knock, knock.

You open the door. This is a very well dressed person with a very nice car in your driveway, the nicest car you have ever seen or ever will see. And they have a driver driving the car for them.

And you say, can I help you? Yes. I saw the vehicle in this cul-de-sac is up for sale.

Is this car belonging to you? And you say, yeah, it's a piece of garbage. I know.

And the well dressed man says, no, no, no. That's your car. And it's for sale.

And you say, yeah, it is. I'd like to buy this car. Listen, sir, I just kind of put this thing up for sale because I need a little bit of cash, but I'm not going to lie to you.

It needs a brand new transmission. Engine's garbage. I literally super glued the bumper on.

No, no, no. I cannot just take this vehicle from you. I have actually been looking for this car for 20 plus years, and this is the first time I have found one, and I must buy this car.

So you say, okay, well, I put it up for $100, and the well-dressed man says, absolutely not. Nope, I will not pay $100 for this car.

Well, how much do you want to pay for it? He starts writing on a check. He pulls out, I'm willing to pay this.

And you look at the check, and it says $321 billion.

You think it's a joke. Okay, I get it, it's a piece of garbage, just take it, the man is dead serious. Will you expect, will you receive, accept my offer?

The driver gets out of the car, saying, I'd accept the offer if I was you. And you say to the driver, is this for real? And the driver says, it's for real.

Do you understand that you're the 30 plus old vehicle? That scripture says, your best attempt at righteousness is just a beat up, broken down, over 30 year old car with 420,000 miles on it, a busted up engine, a glued on bumper. It's a hot mess.

Your best attempt at righteousness is that. But God is so in love with you, that when no one was willing to pay $100 for the car, you, he paid the immeasurable price. Question, why would the over 30 year old vehicle ever brag about itself?

There's nothing the piece of junk in its flesh can brag about. But do you know what that broke down piece of junk can celebrate? The price someone was willing to pay for it, you, my friend.

We're in an auction where the highest price ever paid for anything was paid for you. Build your understanding of you on that. Without him, broke down, beat up, over 30-year-old piece of junk, with him, the elephant becomes an airplane and a mighty flying one at that.

The next thing on the list of things that we couldn't build our life on was where we come from. And I'm not going to spend a ton of time here, but I'm going to hit these hard, okay? If you are someone who struggles with feeling like an orphan because of something you came out of, a family of origin that you grew up in, maybe they were very distant from God or the sin that was normal in the family you grew up in was just grotesque, you're going to really enjoy understanding what the Bible says about you.

Not only are you not where you come from, you are God's heir. Galatians 4 verse 7 says, Now as a believer, you are no longer a slave, but God's own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.

A father who loves his child is a father who leaves an inheritance for his child based on the measure of love he has for his child. Did you know that as a child of God, you are an heir of God? What does that mean?

That the God of the universe established an inheritance for you.

But it gets even better than that. You're not just any old heir. You're a co-heir.

Romans chapter 8 verse 17, And if we are his children, then we are his heirs. Now watch, heirs of God and joint or co-heirs with Christ. You are a co-heir.

What does that mean Preston? I don't even understand. Hebrews chapter 1 verse 2 says, God promised everything to the Son as an inheritance.

Everything. Everything is the inheritance of the Son of God. And the Bible says, The inheritance the Father gave Jesus is the inheritance God gives you.

“Now, before you get all excited about a bunch of stuff, it's way better than a bunch of stuff. We're not just talking about how much money is my inheritance. Oh, it's way better than money.

How many mansions do I inherit in heaven? Oh, it's way better than mansions in heaven. You want to know what the best part of the inheritance of a co-heir of Christ is?

What is it that the Son got from the Father that was more valuable than anything in heaven and on earth? Here's the answer. The Son inherited all of the Father.

God Himself is the inheritance of His children. How about them apples? Just imagine getting to heaven, and on day one, God shows you all this stuff.

This is your inheritance. This is it. Look at it.

Look at it all. It's going to take you eternity to even see it all. You're never going to come to the end of it.

This is your inheritance, and you're all jacked up. And then He looks you in the eyes and He says, You want me to tell you the best part?

You get all of me.”

“I withhold none of myself from you forever. You get all of me.

Imagine the God of the Universe saying that to you. Yeah, thanks for the stuff, and I'm not minimizing whatever blessings and rewards God bestows upon you or me. On that day, I can't wait to receive the fullness of my inheritance, which is the fullness of himself.

God himself is the inheritance of his children. Build your identity, your understanding of you on that. The God of the Universe thinks so highly of you that he established your inheritance that you will receive in its fullness for eternity and the inheritance is not just all things.

The inheritance is all of him.

Talk about combating the lie the enemy brings. God's distant. God's hiding himself from you.

I'm his child, and if I'm his child, I'm his heir. And if I am his heir, I am a co-heir with Christ. And I don't just receive everything as my inheritance.”

“I receive all of him, and so do you. Here's the next thing, and we're almost done. I told you you can't build your understanding of yourself on who you know.

We're going to trump the whole name dropping thing, the insecurity of, oh, I know this person, and it's all about who you know more than what you know. Okay, here's how you combat all that trash. You build your understanding of yourself on this principle of Scripture.

You are a temple. You are a temple. 1 Corinthians 6.19 Don't you realize, speaking to believers, that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God?

When I was preparing for this, I just kind of heard these words related to this part of the conversation. You are not a guest house, a vacation house, or a house flip. You are a primary and preferred residence of the Spirit of the Living God.

How about them apples? You're not some every once in a while guest house that he comes and visits. You're not some project that he's trying to fix up and then get rid of.

You are a preferred, a preferred residence of the Spirit of the Living God. Here's another way to say it. God is so obsessed with you that you can never get him to leave you.

What does David say in Psalm 139? Love this chapter. I can never escape from your spirit.

I can never get away from your presence. This is talking about the obsession of God for you. If I go up to heaven, you're there.

If I go down to the grave, you're there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night, but even in darkness, I cannot hide from you.

God is so obsessed with you that you, as his child, can never ever get him to get away from you. Build your understanding of yourself on that.

It's not just who he says I am. It's the promise he made to me. It's the promise he's made to you.

I will never leave you or forsake you. Preston, you couldn't get me. You couldn't pay me.

Nobody could pay me enough money. To ever leave your side, I promise to never leave you or forsake you.

Why would we be walking around talking, bragging? Oh, I know, so-and-so. Oh, I used to play basketball in high school against so-and-so.

Oh, yeah. I'm friends with her, and she's doing all this. And him, he's known for all this.

I know people. Please. Please.

I'm a temple.

I'm a temple of God Most High. Everywhere I go, He is. He is so obsessed with me.

He ain't ever going to leave me.

Build your understanding of you on that. You are never alone. You will never be alone.

If everyone you know deserts you, you are not deserted.

The Spirit of God has taken residence inside it. Every believer in Jesus.

Build your understanding of you on that. Then here is the last one I told you. You cannot build your understanding of you on how well you are known.

Fame, dog. You can't build your identity on fame. My Lord.

It is. It is a fickle pickle, people. How do you combat this?

You build your understanding of you on this principle in Scripture. You are fully known. 1 Corinthians 8 verse 3.

But if anyone loves God, this one is known by him. I know we're covering a lot of ground, and this isn't going to be for everybody, maybe. But you get to this part.

You need to understand this. We got a bunch of people with social media and how they dress and what they do, just trying to get the attention of man with a goal. This is the thought.

If I can be noticed by man, maybe I can be known by man. Everybody was created with the desire to be known. Isn't it intriguing that in the Old Testament, that when it would describe a husband and wife going in to have sex, that it would use the word known, and so-and-so knew his wife, and they conceived this child.

It was talking about having sex. Here's the thought. Why do so many people have a desire to be known sexually outside the boundaries set by God?

Have you ever thought about this? I think it's because they don't understand how known they are within an intimate relationship with God.

Every human is created with a desire to be known, but there is no better feeling than being known fully, not known famously, known fully by the God of the universe. Psalm 139, verses 1-6, David said, Oh Lord, you've examined my heart, and you know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up.

You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me. How many people run around right now?

“I just want to be seen. Do you see me? David says, God, you see me when I travel and when I rest at home.

When nobody else can see me, you see me. You know everything I do. You know what I'm going to say even before I say it, Lord.

You go before me and you follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge.

These first five verses, such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand. Here's what David teaches us. The knowledge of David's known-ness was far too wonderful a knowledge for David to ever truly know.

If you're chasing, being noticed by man, it's a simple evidence you don't understand how known you are by God.

I'm telling you, I got such a big burden for this entire teaching, because the picture I felt I got from the Lord was people who are just drowning in the storm, because their house is built on all the wrong things. You're not doing yourself any favors by building your life and your understanding of who you are on everything the world says. It's never going to work”

It's never going to work. Let me speak to the young woman who's thinking about tonight, about going to give her boyfriend the gift of her virginity. Because she's been wrestling with some stuff from her family of origin, specifically related to men.

And she thinks the only way she can truly be noticed by this boyfriend is to seemingly be known by him in a way she's never been known by another man before. Sweetheart, can I just tell you? It ain't going to work.

I can't stop you from doing it, but I can tell you, it's not going to provide what you're searching for. If you were a child of God, you are fully known, and no man on this planet can know you the way your Creator knows you.

Don't go. Stay home tonight. Embask in the revelation of who God says you really are.

It doesn't matter what that boy is saying about you. As we wrap up this episode, I'm going to be praying, because you represent all of us, any of us who are chasing, willing to do anything just to get a little something that makes us feel like more of a someone. None of it in the world will work.

I want to pray over all of us, but especially those of us who are up under it right now and the storms pounding on the house. Spirit of the Living God, thank you for the Word of God. Oh, what a foundation it gives us, no matter how raging the seas get, no matter how violent the winds become, no matter how terrifying the storm is.

When we build our lives, when we build our understanding of who we are on you, storms, schmorms, no storm can knock it down. Holy Spirit, I pray over every one of my brothers and sisters, especially those whom the enemy is picking on. With his lies, would you shut up the lies of the enemy?

And would you do so by drowning out his lies with your truth, which comes from the Word of God?

Amen. I love you so much. I know this was a longer one.

I had some fun with this one, and it may take, you may have to digest this in two different settings, maybe three. Work your way through it slowly. I love you so much, but trust and believe my love for you pales in comparison to his love for you.

Build your life, your understanding of you on him and nothing else. I love you so much. I'll see you next time.

#prestonmorisson #identitycrisis #identity #selfidentity #christianity #prayer #revelation #forgiveness #shame #guilt #wisdom #relationship #selflove

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aureatescars · 1 year ago

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There is a moment of ruefulness, something close to embarassment when Leon remarks on his secretary knowing what they've been up to the night before, but then his brows furrow at Leon's comment about her interest in him. "Jealous?" He echoes the word back at Leon, tone colored with surprise. He hadn't considered it before, hadn't really noticed anything that would suggest her having an interest him. Except...

He shakes his head, dismissing the thought. "She's always been... concerned for my well being. Maybe more than strictly necessary, but I don't think—" He pauses, thinking.

Eventually, he speaks up again. "We've been working together for quite some time." He gestures around the room. "After I first... inherited all of this, things needed to change from the way it was before." He shrugs. "I needed to weed out the corruption, and then I had to replace those people with new personnel. She was among the first few I recruited, although she only took over this position because someone else opted out, rather suddenly too."

He doesn't really like to think about that time, about any of the events that led to him really becoming the Broker. It wasn't something he intended to be, but in the end he saw how much power lay in this network, in the information it could gather, the way it could be used for good and he decided to take over, to make this better, to make this country better.

He isn't sure he has accomplished any of it just yet, but he will keep trying, as long as he is still drawing breath he will work to make changes to this deeply corrupt system, and if he has to be a part of it so others don't have to be he will do it gladly.

But for all his convictions, he cannot do it alone. It's why he needs people like her. "She's been part of all this for a long time. Almost as long as I have, but she never alluded to anything."

When Leon steps closer and reaches out to touch him, his mind is pulled away from those thoughts. He didn't see this coming either, so maybe the issue lies with him. Although, he thinks now it wouldn't have changed anything if she made her intentions known. —

He breathes out and blinks when Leon pulls away, the brief moment of tenderness broken, leaving his skin feeling colder where Leon's fingertips just brushed along it.

— He doubts it would have been like this.

Sasha follows Leon with his gaze before he steps out of the elevator a moment later, captivated and distracted by the way Leon moves.

He has to actively focus on something else, moving towards his desk after Leon's inquiry. "Yes, one moment." He puts the file he just received down upon the surface and then sits, leaning down to open one of his drawers to pull out a few folders he knows to contain more extensive intel they've gathered rather than the summarized version they worked with so far. He takes them out, unaware that the file on Leon is also among them after he so unceremoniously stowed it in there the day before.

He hands the stack over to Leon, not thinking much of it, and within the next moment reaches to boot up his computer, busying himself with spreading the contents of the first folder out infront of him. "I'll try and be quick about this." He says, smiling apologetically before he turns to his screen. "It shouldn't take me too long."

"Not at all." Sasha smiles. He is quietly relieved Leon will be coming and staying with him for now. It assures him once more in his thinking that he isn't alone in wanting this, that this is not at all a one and done sort of thing, no matter if it started out that way.

Or so he assumes it did, for Leon at least. Yesterday, it felt sudden, like a spur of the moment decision. However, there remains the fact that Leon alluded to wanting this before, back when they first met. Although Sasha has some trouble believing that, considering all that happened. Considering alm that ut must have been purely physical attraction, with how angry and hostile he had been acting. Maybe it still is mostly that same physical attraction now, too and anything he thinks he sees and feels beyond that superficial attraction is just Sasha's imagination...

...He'll try and find it in him to ask Leon about it during a quiet moment, and about what he wants, because early as it may be to jump to conclusions, Sasha already knows that he doesn't want this to simply end.

He takes a deeper breath and exhales in a sigh, centering himself as they draw closer to the office building, preparing to slip the mask back on. In there he isn't Alexander Kozachenko, he isn't Sasha. He can't afford to be. He is the Broker and he can't let himself be distracted by a racing heart or a flutter in bis stomach. There are more pressing matters to attend to... But he still can't keep the corners of his lips from turning up when he holds one of the big glass doors for Leon, gesturing for him to go in first.

Sasha quickly learns that he likes it when he catches him off guard. A bit of teeth showing in his smile when the other man first blinks at him in surlrise before scoffing and shaking his head at him at the gesture.

They walk up to the frint desk where Sasha's secretary is already waiting. Sasha raises a hand in greeting as they make their way over and she too smiles at him, before her gaze wanders to look at Leon and her expression darkens briefly before slipping back into a perfectly professional smile.

She hands Sasha a new file and he knows better than to open it now. The information within is too sensitive to be viewed out in the open, no matter how safe this building may be.

There is another brief exchange of glances between Leon and Sasha's secretary and Sasha can't quite pinpoint what it is that is passing between them, but judging from the smug tilt of Leon's lips and the answering daggers she is glaring at him in turn Sasha isn't entirely sure that he wants to know at all.

He shifts the file from one hand to the other, briefly holding on to both his cane and the folder as he places his now free hand at the small of Leon's back to get his attention. When he realizes what he is doing, he withdraws the hand as quickly as he put it there, and instead indicates the elevator. "Shall we?"

They push the button and soon after the elevator chimes softly and they get inside. Sasha immediately turns his head towards Leon as the doors close on them. "I've never seen her lose her composure so quickly." In fact, he isn't sure that he ecer did before Leon arrived here. "She really doesn't seem to like you." He raises a questioning eyebrow at Leon. What did you do?

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thelonesomequeen · 3 years ago

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Emily Henry is one of my favorite author at the moment. She is also going to turn some of her books in movies and she asked fans for opinions (she is a big fan of Sebastian Stan). Beach Read is my favorite book from her.

I read Colleen Hoover when I don't want something challenging, her writing is pretty simple so it's easy. And Varity is messed up- secretly I want this book into a movie and Chris to be MC-(to be honest I see this book being acquired by A24 because is the same style). It Ends with us killed me (how on earth did the people from tik tok put this book in the romance category????)

I'm trying this summer to get into Sally Rooney and Taylor Jenkins Reid. Both have books turned into movies and are popular as authors but I can't get myself to read the books. To much hype.

I read the The Inheritance Games series (3 books) 👏 amazing books I highly recommend

I just finished Emily Henry’s Book Lover’s last week! Beach Read is also on my shelf, but I haven’t started it yet. I need to get around to it because I’ve had it for a while.

Colleen Hoover’s books are incredibly popular. I’ve got to get around to reading one someday. With as many book to movie adaptations we’re getting these days, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of her books make it onto the big screen.

I’ve only read one Taylor Jenkins Reid book this year and it was One True Loves. I did enjoy it a lot. I think she beautifully described the transition of the people we used to be in our past and who we eventually grow to be and how something’s about ourselves and our relationships with others stay the same and how and why things can change. I actually didn’t know this book was being made into a movie until after I had finished the book and saw it mentioned in someone else’s review. Honestly, the descriptions of her other books just don’t peak my interest very much. I think her most known book is The Seven Ex-Husbands of Evelyn Hugo but that one honestly doesn’t interest me. I have a few friends who say it was slightly overrated and they didn’t care for it. Although, of all my friends who read the book, they’re angry it’s being made into a movie instead of a limited series. They think too many important things will be cut or glossed over in order to fit the smaller time frame of a movie.

I read Kate Quinn’s The Alice Network earlier this summer and enjoyed it quite a bit. There was just something very captivating about her storytelling. I typically don’t like books that have chapters of alternating timelines/characters, but she made it work. I want to read a few others of her books and I hope they’re just as good. There’s nothing worse than finishing a book, liking it, then checking out more of an author’s work and it just not living up to the same standard. 🦎

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ayeshintheclouds · 5 years ago

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4/5

The End: Jia

Once upon a time there was a very intelligent girl named Jia. She lived atop a mountain with her uncle, the most famed healer in China.

After all, he needed someone to inherit his craft and carry on the legacy. Someone who hadn't committed the mortal sin of being born female.

Jia lived in a room at the top of the world, closest to the heavens. Sometimes she closed her eyes and imagined taking flight, floating higher and higher off the earth until she was beyond the reach of her uncle or any suiter. But in every fantasy she would sink like stone, falling and falling through the clouds and landing right back in her room. For her heart was too heavy with secrets to ever fly.

Jia had exactly three secrets that she would take to her grave.

One was that she didn't want to marry any of the men Uncle had in mind for her. She would much rather live out the rest of her life with her kitten LiNa, than a man who would only hold her captive like her uncle. Uncle could never know this. He would disown her, or find her a husband who would keep her under strict control.

LiNa was the prettiest cat in the world, with beautiful misty blue eyes and grey fur, and she was the only soul who knew Jia's secrets. Jia absolutely could not be handed to another captor.

That would ruin her plan- her second secret. When Uncle finally chose a husband for Jia, she was going to escape. She could not remain living under yet another male who saw her as a servant and forced her to hide her knowledge until she felt she would explode. She wasn't sure how she'd leave. All she knew was that she would take LiNa with her and go far far away, the fog covering her tracks. She couldn't go any higher, so she would go lower; she'd reach the ground and meet new people and travel to new lands and help people with her skill.

Her skill.

Her final secret, the one that tore her to pieces lest she give it more thought.

Her uncle was not a shaman. Or a spiritual healer. Or a witch doctor. He was an absolute idiot, a man who believed in the unknown so much that he largely ignored the known. His remedies of prayers and foods chanted over with sacred spells were utter garbage, to the point Jia sometimes felt sorry for the man's delusions. There used to be a time when Uncle was not as renowned as he was now, when his foolishness had fooled people into believing his remedies worked, only for them to be betrayed. But by then it was too late; they had already traveled back to their homelands to do Uncle any harm.

Jia had grown tired of seeing relief and false hope in the eyes of Uncle's victims. Her heart ached for the mother trying to cure her daughter's plague by reciting chants on her. It ached for the old woman told to sacrifice a camel to the gods to heal her blindness.

So Jia slowly began researching medical knowledge, secretly buying journals and scrolls of medical knowledge every time Uncle sent her to the marketplace. It was fascinating how many people's symptoms actually had practical, herbal remedies.

She began discreetly adding her own treatment into Uncle's, adding chamomile and sage and ginger and tea tree oil. She found unique and powerful treatments everywhere in the mountains- petals of a rare flower, honey of a certain hive. While he wrote absurd spiritual chants on scrolls for them to take home, Jia snuck in her own prescriptions. She felt like the heavens had finally bestowed a purpose onto her, that she could touch the lives of so many people in pain and heal their illnesses.

Her remedies worked. Uncle's name grew rapidly all across the lands, and for years since, people flocked to the mystical shaman on the highest mountain. No one paid much attention to her; she was little but a servant for the actual Healer. Something to be given away in exchange for a man, until her identity and capabilities evaporated into the kitchen steam where she would spend the rest of her life.

One day a young man appeared from the fog at their door, and immediately Jia knew he was the one. He was strong and handsome and Jia knew Uncle would pick him as his future apprentice and her future captor. When the young man selflessly declared that he needed a cure for his mother's illness, Jia's conviction grew. She had to leave now, before Uncle made his decision, or after this she would be watched like a hawk. She began packing her bag with all her journals and herbal cures.

The kitten startled when she lifted her up. "Shh..." she whispered to LiNa, stroking her soft fur to calm her.

Uncle had let the man stay the night so he could start his journey home at the crack of dawn. He was given a bowl of some sort of red oil with ancient incantations on a scroll. Jia wrinkled her nose. Another one of Uncle's ridiculous concoctions. The most effect it could ever have, was possibly give this man's poor old mother diarrhea.

Just as she was about to sneak out of the door, Jia knew she absolutely had to help this man, or her conscience would never forgive her. She crawled to where he was sleeping on the mat, with the bowl next to him. She quickly scribbled under the incantations how many times the mother had to take the small pills she'd created from blended ginger, then snuck the pills into his bag. Now she only had to dissolve some of the ground up roots into the strange oil.

Just as she was pouring it in, LiNa whimpered lightly, tense. The man was stirring; his breathing pattern shifted in the silent room as Jia held her breath and quickly dumped the rest of the root powder into the oil. Her heart pounding, she slowly scooted away.

It was too late. The man's hand shot out from under the covers to catch her fingers, so abruptly that she squeaked.

"Let me go!" She hissed. "Please, I must leave!"

LiNa paced uncomfortably in a circle, her blue eyes glowing in the dark room.

The man only dragged her closer by her wrist. "Trying to poison me, girl?" he asked loudly.

She shook her head urgently. "No, I swear, I was giving your mother an actual cure."

"Don't lie to me! I already got my medicine!" the man was shouting now, and Jia felt tears sting her eyes. Her brain felt foggy and hazy, as if she was watching the scene unfold from a distance. She'd had nightmares of something like this happening for so long, so she wasn't quite sure this was not all a dream. She closed her eyes, but the man's painful grip on her wrist felt anything but phantom.

And then everything came undone all at once, like someone had yanked at a thread holding it all together. Uncle had woken up.

"Your niece tried to poison me! She was sneaking something into the sacred oils you've given me from divine revelation."

Jia nearly scoffed even with tears running down her cheeks. Then her head was being yanked up, Uncle's hand holding a handful of her long hair. LiNa growled, and Jia knew if she wished it, her kitten would attack him.

"Did. You. Touch. His. Medicine." Uncle asked her through gritted teeth, his eyes wild and more unhinged than she'd ever seen them.

"Yes!" she shrieked when he yanked her hair harder until her scalp burned. "Yes, because you're a phony, Uncle! I was doing the work all along, I was the one truly healing people, researching for nights on end for real cures!"

He slapped her.

She slowly turned to meet his eyes, her cheek hot and stinging. She felt her world shattering, her dreams once again dissipating into the air like smoke.

"I shall not have a child of mine disrespect the gods!"

LiNa, ever faithful, was wrestling the bag on the floor away from the young man, who seemed to be trying to untie it. But LiNa was tiny and not stronger than the full grown man, who wrenched it from her teeth and dumped out the contents. Pages and pages and powders and liquids and pills flooded out as Jia's head spun wildly, the pain amplified by Uncle's grip in her hair. It was her life's work, all her research, everything she wanted to spread to the world to fulfill her destiny. Her fate lay on the ground of Uncle's hut, forever gone.

Uncle stared it it, his eyes sparking more dangerously than the fireplace.

"Burn it."

Jia watched as Uncle made the man toss her future into the fireplace, until it was all nothing but ashes, the strange herbal smoke permeating the air of the hut. It suffused into every corner of the room, pushing down her nose and throat and lungs until all she could breathe in were the ashes of her own failure and defeat.

"How long?" He asked her, his gaze burning into hers.

The silence in the room was deafening, until all she heard was her own pulse roaring in her throat.

"Twelve years." She whispered. His hand rose and he closed her eyes, waiting for the sting once again. And then LiNa's teeth were on Uncle's hand and Jia turned, scooped up her kitten, and ran. She heard shouting behind her, reduced to echoes in the distance as she scrambled out.

She didn't have anything to lose anyways; everything was already gone, her past and now her future. Without her research and herbs she would never survive, let alone help others survive. The village would reject her, her reputation would be shattered as soon as word reached them that she had interfered in the Healer's craft. Humanity was as reliable as the fog she trekked through, flimsy and shallow.

Jia ran out of the house, and the aromatic smoke followed her, mingling with the early morning fog while she blindly trudged down the mountainous trails. She could've fallen to her doom any second, but the only thing she could see in the mist were LiNa's gleaming eyes, promising safety, a home, if she just kept going, never turning back.

The mist overtook her, and her senses went hazy. LiNa's warmth in her arms, the only thing left of substance, soon vaporized too. Then it was just Jia, and she couldn't tell if she was even on the mountain anymore or drifting through the thick clouds like a feather, her soul finally empty of secrets like she'd always dreamed of. She felt her body leaving the material world, gradually evaporating into the foggy haze.

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fireladyofink · 4 years ago

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1: So far it's been largely cathartic to me! Sometimes there's stress, but that's mostly when I'm stuck on one particular thing or burnt out yet inspired.

2: I tend to notice some things vaguely- but I only really take notice when it's a detail that comes back later. However, I definitely try to write for readers who notice.

3: Skeleghost. I'm pretty far, but I have no idea where it's going right now. I'm just trying to start writing again. I know I started with a soon-to-be college slice of life concept, but then it turned to hidden society and now modern fantasy and reincarnation?? I don't know?? I guess I made a cool dragon?

4: The Scorched Rainbow concept. It. Veered too far from my intentions and ended up being so unbearably cringy that it's all I can do just to tolerate it's existence. It's not what I wanted. It's a lie, something formed by a desperate cry for help and good attention that no one else would really provide at the time.

5: Oohoo- boy!

. • ° Suddenly, something dark breached the water, a long, almost black shape rising upwards, up and up and up.. before eventually falling sideways until it crashed back down, sending up a massive plume of water as it hit the water again.

"It.. That was huge." Asriel whispered in shock.

"That." Avalon pointed out as the waves from the impact washed over their feet on the shore.

"Is a shiftling serpent."

At first, it seemed she had decided not to show up, but then a black spot appeared on the water, forming a v-shaped wake behind it as it slid side to side towards them.

"Out of the water." Avalon ordered, gesturing as he backpedaled as well, moving a couple feet away, the shape beginning to look familiar.. like a large.. large head with fins on either side.

And then it began to rise. The fins appeared first, directly followed by the downturned and serpentine head that narrowed to a round point at the nose, water cascading off in hundreds of rivulets as it blew out a spray from it's nostrils and turned to face the monsters on the shore.

It's eyelids snicked back to reveal unbelievably green eyes, so unnaturally bright they seemed to carry their own light.

Those eyes zeroed in on the trio, Toriel impulsively pushing Asriel a little behind her under the intense gaze.

Through the dripping water, a great, rasping voice came.

"ყɛʂʂʂ.. ı ɧą۷ɛ ცɛɛŋ ɛҳ℘ɛƈɬıŋɠ ყơų." ° • .

6: I'll probably never write any form of NSFW, given the fact that I'm a sex-repulsed asexual.

7: Having the Twins in Andlátkyn actually merge earlier is the only thing I could think of. I'll probably have more ideas later on as I write more and more stories, but so far that's it.

8: Shockingly enough, I have never really made OC's yet. Best I can give is to just write them interacting with others, building relationships, growing, changing, evolving..

9: I know I have a BUNCH of ideas, but I can't remember them right this moment.

10: Nightmare in Andlátkyn. His gradual evolution from grumpy, kind of evil but ancient being that is Dadmare to his open mind and desire to move on from the past and start over with even Dream as brothers- not to mention his attitude and witty remarks. He's fun, and I have so much fun writing him.

11: ...No comment.

12: I started Andlátkyn because the concept of FGOD but the Bad Sanses are with Error and they're falling into Alagaësia during the events of the Inheritance Cycle was just too captivating to let go. For the first few chapters I was a part of a shared project, but when the others lost interest, I was still enthralled. I still am, regardless of burnout or not. I'm not going to let it go, and I plan on completing it to the point of having an entire sequel planned out. As for how long.. about a year, now? No, two years!

...Damn, it's been two years.

13: I absolutely prefer reading AND writing multi chapter fics!

14: I don't really have OC's.

15: .. Honestly, the first one I ever wrote was the one that connected the most. That one had been more of a frantic grab for positivity and something other than the mess I was dealing with at the time. I don't really want to talk about it much.

16: I typically do, but I more often do a mix of canon and fanon instead of purely either. I like my own stuff. Merging the two is just interesting.

17: Either Cicállaé coming together for the first time or baby Fresh. Just. Baby Fresh. He is precious. Love him.

18: I like comments! I don't really care for the recognition I've got- quite frankly, I'm plain stunned at how many views and likes Andlátkyn has gotten so far, despite being an AO3 type book on Wattpad. But please, comment man! I want to know what you have to say! I want your ideas, your theories, your excitement, your keyspam- please interact with me I'm sad and lonely.

19: Andlátkyn is.. fantasy, adventure, emotional, fascinating, fun, complicated, l o n g, scientific, ... I ran out of words I guess.

20 Most work Andlátkyn, least work.. Octo-Squid. Turns out I suck at writing ships.

21: (Ignores glaring self-insert confusing the fuck out of everyone else.)

22: Oh my GOD I've used symbolism! The crows signifying Reaper was indeed in Alagaësia as well, the bound prisoner of the soldiers outside Carvahall (at the time), the Twin's strange evolving connection, the goddamn constant references to specifically Cicállaé and *one* tree with their appearance, not to mention the glaring moment fairly early in the book that NO ONE, I mean NO ONE, has noticed yet involving Nightmare and Error seeing the ring Aren with Eragon when technically it was never near him at any time before when they had known him. They just saw it when it wasn't there, knew it was called Aren, and knew it belonged to Brom when no words had ever been said of it in the first place. It's the biggest piece of symbolism in the entire book, and given how fleeting it was every time it was brought up, not one reader has picked up on it.

Hell, I even had a moment long after that where Abyss was staring at it while others were talk about Brom and flat out mentioning that the guy was hard to get rid of! Am I just too vague with that one? I don't know.

But everyone's lack of attention to it will only make the moment all the greater.

23: Ignore everything. Indulge yourself. Forget plot. Screw outlines. Just write whatever with an idea in mind and edit later if you want, the story will come together on it's own. No one's opinion matters but your own. It's your story. You're posting it on your terms. The readers come in and read it of their own volition, just like you posted it for them to. If they h something mean to say, fuck them. They don't own you or your work- it's fanfiction!

24: Broken Hunger, honestly. I plan on connecting it to Andlátkyn when I can work on it, but it's just on the wayside now, it's angsty, emotional gory tale forgotten and gathering dust. I know I can't write it right now, but I don't want it forgotten!

25: ....A friend's insert. It's so hard to write someone I know essentially nothing about, and she keeps insisting on being incredibly involved and Important ™ when she's literally an adopted daughter to someone who has a strange way of speaking (to me). And she's magically almost a minor Mary Sue. It makes me uncomfortable, but I honestly owe it to her because she's struggling right now and came up with the idea for Andlátkyn in the first place.

Not to mention people actually like her character a surprising amount.

Fic ask game

1: Is writing cathartic or stressful for you?

2: Do you focus on attention to detail when you read fics? Are you more or less attention to detail focussed when you write fics?

3: Do you have any upcoming WIPs? How far along are you with them?

4: Tell me about one of your abandoned WIPs. Why did you abandon it?

5: Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter.

6: What are some topics you will never write about?

7: Were there any ideas you had for [insert fic] that you couldn’t make work? What were they?

8: How do you develop your OCs?

9: Are there any fics you’d love to see but don’t want to write yourself? What are they?

10: Who has been your favourite character to write about in [insert fic]? What do they bring to the fic?

11: Which OC of yours do you think is the most similar to you? Which OC is the most different? Why?

12: Why did you choose to write [insert fic]? How long have you been working on it?

13: Do you prefer writing multi-chapter fics or single-part fics? Do you prefer reading multi-chapter fics or single-part fics?

14: Do you think you would be friends with your OCs in [insert fic]?

15: Which fic that you’ve written relates to you and your personal life the most?

16: Do you stick to canon when you write characters and fics?

17: What has been the proudest moment for you so far since you started writing?

18: Do you feel like your work gets enough recognition? What kind of feedback do you like to receive?

19: 15 words to describe the aesthetic of [insert fic].

20: Which fic have you put the most work into? Which fic have you put the least work into?

21: If you were a character in [insert fic] where would you fit in?

22: Have you used any symbolism in [insert fic]? What does it represent?

23: What’s one piece of advice you would give to anyone who wants to start writing or posting their writing online?

24: Which fic of yours do you wish people would ask about more? Why?

25: If you could remove one character from [insert fic]’s universe, who would it be? Why?

#I'm sorry Chaos #writing #asks

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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 7 years ago

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FROM DARE, TO LOVE (A Destiel Fanfiction)

CHAPTER FIVE: "Why, I seem more of an Eminem's-Shake-That-Ass-guy, huh?"

Why are you making breakfast, Gabe?" Castiel inquired, between bites. "I hope you remember you're still in highschool, and we aren't permitted to enter, after nine."

"Exactly." Gabriel winked. "What better excuse?"

"Of course." Castiel rolled his eyes. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you're the li'l good-one." Gabriel chuckled. "And I'm the older, awesome-r one."

"Of course." Castiel took another bite of his second pancake. He loved pancakes for breakfast. He wasn't particularly a food-aholic but he'd loved PB&Js, hamburgers, honey - with anything and everything - and pancakes, not necessarily in that order, since he was a kid. Back when Charles was a mediocre guy in 'Sales' in some pharmaceuticals - not yet having inherited his fortune, or made his own on account of his series - and went by the name of 'Chuck' and Castiel was 8-year-old 'Cas'; that was all Chuck knew to make, and all they lived by. Then everyone grew up, and things flourished, and Gabriel turned out to be a great chef - better than his father and brother at any cost - and now insisted on cooking, rather than them hiring a chef. Only a maid would come in every Sunday to wash all the dishes, and do all the chores for the week. Then Gabriel moved out, and the rule stuck, because Charles hated snoopy housekeepers or chefs, and now, whenever Gabriel stayed the night, he made meals or else they ordered in from McDonald's - Castiel's Favorite - or other places Gabriel suggested. He always knew the best.

Lost in his reverie, Castiel finished both the pancakes on his plate. He was snapped back to reality by a car horn. Castiel jumped, suddenly aware that Dean had arrived. It could not be anyone else. He hurriedly stood up, and put the plate in the sink, where it would stay and be piled on, till next Sunday. "Hey, I gotta go."

"That was the school bus?" Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "They're picking you up directly from Paradise now?"

"That was my ride to school." Castiel said shortly, slinging his bag on his shoulder, as Gabriel followed him out of the kitchen to the living room.

"This is gonna be fun." Gabriel chuckled. "It is who I think it is, isn't it?"

"Shut up." Castiel frowned. "He's just giving me a ride, as a friend. We'r- We're saving fuel."

"And time." Gabriel offered. "Precious time which you'd spend in thinking about him on the school bus, before you met him in school; which you guys are saving by meeting right here. Genius."

"I don't have time for this." Castiel scowled deeper, and hurried out the door, before Dean began to think that he was already gone or not coming. "Bye, dad! Bye, Gabriel."

"Have a lovely time!" Gabriel yelled at the top of his lungs, from the front door, as Castiel almost jogged down the porch and front-lawn to Dean Winchester's car on the road. He didn't want Dean hearing any of Gabriel's nonsense.

Dean opened the door for him, from the inside, by stretching out his hand, and Castiel took his seat in the front. He closed the door, and was relieved that the windows were all up, and Gabriel only resembled a miming-monkey on the front door. He looked at Dean, turning almost halfways in his seat, and found himself - unsurprisingly - completely captivated by Dean being so close to him in the beautiful black car.

"'Morning, cherry-pie! Welcome to my ride!" Dean announced, following with the small chuckle which Castiel had not thought about since a very long time. "Meet 'Baby'." He tapped the dashboard, with an affectionate look.

"This is 'Baby'." Castiel repeated, with an unconscious smile, a predicament resolving itself, deep in his mind.

"Yeah." Dean grinned enthusiastically. "Isn't she beautiful?" Dean almost stroked the steering wheel.

"She sure is." Castiel smiled at Dean's visible obsession with his car. "She's a Chevrolet, isn't she?" Castiel ventured, aware he would look like a fool were he wrong, but saying it nonetheless, because he'd never seen Dean more excited about anything, and he wanted more of it. That genuine grin which lit his face up, and that glint in his eyes.

"Yeah." Dean grinned broader. "A Chevy Impala, 1967 Model, Super Sport. Six-cylinder 7.0 L engine, 329 horsepower. First model to have a chrome-plated hood, black grille accents and black-accented body-side and rear fender moldings, with vinyl bucket seats and a center console. An- You didn't ask to hear all that, did you?"

Castiel merely shook his head. "I don't mind, though."

"In short," Dean grinned directly at Castiel; and Castiel forgot that they had to get to school and hadn't even started yet. He was content to have Dean's attention completely on him. "She's gorgeous. Not unlike you." He winked, suddenly a dramatic surprised expression on his face. "I forgot to tell you something, wait a second," He squinted his eyes, pretending to remember something. "What did I forget to say, what did I forget to say? Oh, yeah! You look great." Dean kept up the act, until Castiel almost chuckled. "And, one more thing, it was right there, and I forgot, what could it've been, oh, yes, I remember! You, look handsome!"

Castiel looked down at his modest sweater and casual t-shirt. "Could you stop, Dean?"

"I could do whatever you want me to do." Dean whispered, meaningfully, before clearing the air with a grin. "But I don't want to. It's fun to see you blush, cherry-pie."

"That reminds me," Castiel smiled, in spite of himself because from the corner of his eye, he'd seen Gabriel walk back into the house, perhaps disappointed that neither had he gotten to embarrass his little brother, nor catch him in the middle of any contact with Dean Winchester. They were just talking. "Where did that come from?"

"Oh, well, you remember," Dean grinned, turning the key in the engine. "You didn't wanna be called 'sweetheart' or 'honey'. And as I told you, this is 'Baby'. So, I thought hard and long, through the night, and in the morning, I woke up with the perfect name for you, on my lips, and in my mind." Dean cleared his throat dramatically. "You're my cherry-pie!" He sang, with a sidelong glance at Castiel.

Castiel kept quiet in response, straining to keep his eyes on the road.

"Hey!" Dean teased. "Your line?"

"I am not going to say 'I'm his cherry-pie', Dean." Castiel pointed out to Dean, struggling to keep the smile away.

"Why?" Dean complained. Something inside Castiel suddenly snapped. It was true he enjoyed Dean's presence. He was fun, hilarious, exciting. Nothing like what Castiel had ever expected Dean Winchester to be. But he was, and Castiel had to admit it. But every now and then, if not always, he was reminded of the fact that this was all a facade. A mask he was wearing, only for Castiel. A mask which Castiel was supposed to fall in love with. But it wasn't Dean Winchester, it was what he was being, for Castiel. And then he had the audacity - the sheer cheek - to ask 'why'. Castiel might be weak in the knees at Dean's embrace or melt at the sight of his smile, but he wasn't going to be played with. He'd decided that before, and he was going to stick to it.

"Forget about it." He muttered, looking out of his window, so that he didn't have to be looked at by Dean's eyes.

"Hey, everything alright?" Dean's hand touched Castiel's forearm. "Do you not like the nam- Did I say something wrong?" Castiel shook his head mutely. "Then, why-"

"Because this is all a dare, and I don't wanna go along with your stupid games and motives only so that you win the fucking dare, and I'm left a idiot in love with you." Castiel blurted, before he could run it by himself inside his brain. He looked at Dean's face, trying to scan it for emotions. There were none. Dean turned his eyes on the road, and accelerated, causing Castiel to fall back in his seat.

Castiel stayed mute for a few minutes. He couldn't imagine what Dean would reply to that. Stop the car, throw him out, and never speak to him again? Ignore the outburst, and continue to 'pursue' him? Or-

"You actually think all this is a game?" Dean stared at Castiel, stopping the car suddenly. Castiel's eyes flitted on the road, as he launched forward in his seat, and he recognised the area as a street two streets away from school. His brain stopped working - right about when the words left Dean Winchester's lips. "You actually think all I'm doing is for a stupid dare? Is that how much of a son of a bitch I am, in your eyes, Novak?"

On receiving no reply, Dean continued, starting the car again, as if nothing happened, accelerating to his average speed, and keeping his eyes fixed on the road. In his desire to stare at Dean, Castiel didn't realise when he began to take the longer route to school.

Had Dean actually said that, Castiel's mind begun to process, and had he meant it? Was it part of the game? To make Castiel feel as if Dean's feelings were real - when they were not - and hence compel him to reciprocate. Castiel knew that if Dean Winchester actually felt any sort of attraction towards him - and he was sure that wasn't the case - it would all be even more of a big deal than it now was. But surely he was only kidding? Surely this was only a game, a part of the big scheme to fool Castiel, into making Castiel fall in love with him. Because, if not..NO. It had to be a part of Dean's plan. To make him fall in love with him. Which was seeming easier and easier by the minute.

But Castiel wasn't gonna do that. So he wasn't gonna go along with any of the crap Dean suggested. What's the harm in singing a line from a song, Castiel's brain reasoned, when you let him pick you up from your house, and mess with your brain?

Several minutes passed.

No one spoke.

Castiel was paranoidly afraid that in the deadly silence, maybe each of his loud thoughts were audible. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, waiting and wanting Dean to say something.

He had been in the middle of wondering how he would keep away from Dean for the rest of his life when Dean suddenly spoke up. "You want some music?" He asked, casually, his smile fit in place like it never had vanished.

Castiel stared at Dean in wonder. "U-uh, sure."

Dean left his left hand on the wheel and began rummaging through the CDs in his pile, his eyes flickering to the road and to the titles subsequently. "You got nothing against the Beatles, right?" He inserted the disk into the player, and drummed his fingers on the dashboard as the player tried to 'read' it.

"Of course not." Castiel replied vacantly. Had the whole awkwardness only happened in his brain? Because it sure seemed as if Dean had not even been in the same situation as him. His genial grin was back, and there was not a tint of hesitation or awkwardness in his gaze as he smiled at Castiel, cocking his head towards the player as the song begun to play.

A beautiful soulful music begun to play suddenly, filling the car.

Castiel recognised the song immediately. "Hey, Jude." He muttered quietly, as Paul McCartney's piano ballad made him smile, in spite of the turmoil within him.

"Yeah." Dean mouthed, as if afraid saying something would destroy the atmosphere the song had created. "Isn't it beautiful?"

Castiel was almost sure now, that the whole outburst had been a figment of his imagination. Dean didn't seem to be unfazed, or even affected by any of it now. If he had been silent and broody earlier, he was only grinning and drumming the wheel with the slow beat now. "I love it." He mumbled. He'd listened to it a lot of times before, almost as much as he'd listened to The Cure, or Kansas.

"It's my favourite." Dean spoke suddenly, as the song neared an end. They'd been silent for almost a few minutes, but they were sharing the silence, and the lyrics. It was beautiful. Almost like they were sharing the beauty of the song.

"I am surprised." Castiel replied, unthinkingly. He was now definite that he had spaced out, that the dialogue and the situation had happened in his mind. Dean must've been kidding, Castiel had taken the words with way more impact than they should've caused. It was stupid how shattered Castiel had been.

"Why, I seem more of an Eminem's-Shake-That-Ass guy, huh?"

"Aren't you?" Castiel stared at Dean, everything forgotten in the moment of truth.

Dean shrugged. "Maybe I am. But I'm also an Eminem's-Forever guy." He grinned. "Heard it before?"

"Of course." Castiel grinned back, mirroring Dean's smile.

Another moment of silence passed.

"My mom used to sing it to me when I.." His voice faltered. "My mom sang 'Hey, Jude' to me when she was..still alive."

Castiel remained silent for a moment. "As a child?"

Dean nodded. The song ended. "She sang it for the last time, to me, the night she died. I was four then. It's been my favorite song since..then."

"Not surprised anymore." Castiel almost whispered. Then, shut himself up and clenched his fist, before he could put a hand on Dean's knee like he wished to do at the moment, or say something more mushy.

"I guess a favourite song always needs a sad backstory to be considered appropriate." Dean spoke almost bitterly.

"That's not true." Castiel tried to smile, and it was much easier than he imagined to do so. "It could just be a song which makes you feel good. Or one you relate to." Dean looked straight at the road, wordlessly. Castiel irked to make him smile again. How quickly the situation had changed. Was he not wondering, just a few minutes ago, how to stay away from Dean for the rest of his life? Or how he detested Dean and his gang for the dare? Because it was all blurry at the moment; everything he could think of at the moment was to get Dean talking again. Having no mother at four years must've been a difficult experience. He had to have had a supportive father to turn out alright. But something also told him it wasn't the time to talk about that. He strived to change the topic. "Say, my favorite song? Pictures of you, by the Cu-"

"Cure!" Dean turned excitedly. "Really? I love it too!" Dean almost swerved dangerously, as he devoted his attention to the pile again. He produced the CD containing Castiel's favourite song a moment later. "Here, put this in."

Castiel did, and waited as the song begun. He smiled broadly, as the different yet appealing music filled the space. "I've been looking so long at these pictures of you..." He softly sang along, forgetting he was in Dean's car and not his own room.

"That I almost believe that they're real..." Dean sang the next line, and Castiel turned to him with his eyes wide. His voice was beautiful. Castiel had always liked Dean's voice - sue him for being truthful to himself - but while singing, it was..well, melodious. Not even just pleasant, or soulful, but melodious. "I've been living so long with these pictures of you..." He cocked his head at Castiel, gesturing at him to sing along too.

It was as if Castiel's sudden singing had broken the ice.

"That I almost believe the pictures are, all I can feel..." Both of them sang together, their voices in harmony but still so different. Castiel found himself staring at Dean before he knew it. By the time the song ended - a song which both of them had sung each line to - they were on the School street. Lawrence High was only a minute away.

"What else do you like?" Dean asked, with a grin, as they neared the schoolgates. "Elvis?"

"Sure!" Castiel nodded his head enthusiastically. They were talking like they knew each other since long, now. Nobody noticed when the transition occurred. "You like Bruno Mars?"

"Am I human?" Dean drawled.

"I'm gonna take that as a 'yes'." Castiel grinned broader.

"And I'm gonna take your question as an affirmation that you too like Bruno Mars," Dean grinned, and Castiel didn't even notice as they passed the school gates. He was too busy observing Dean's grin broaden. "And play 'Count on me' for you."

He put in the CD, and the song begun to play.

"You do have versatile tastes from all over the ages." Castiel informed Dean, as Dean bobbed his head to 'You can Count on Me, like One, Two, Three, I'll be there...'

"This is fun!" Dean smirked. "You have great music tastes, Castiel! I never knew!"

"I didn't know our tastes were so similar either, Dean." Castiel smiled. "Or that you could sing so well."

"Well, it has been a long time since I sang, I forgot I was so good at it." Dean winked.

"It was unnecessary to compliment yourselves right now." Castiel frowned.

"Yeah, but it was the perfect way for me to introduce you to Led Zeppelin!" Dean grinned. "Rock and roll!" He began rummaging through the CDs again.

"Introduce me?" Castiel smirked confidently. "I'm fairly sure you won't be introducing me to anything, Winchester." Castiel cleared his throat, and begun to sing along to the record. "It's been a long time since I Rock and Rolled! It's been a long time since I did the Stroll! It's..."

"Wow, you're good." Dean raised his eyebrows. "What about 'Whole Lotta Love'?"

"I might not have been 'living under the spotlight and everyone's envious glances'," he drew air-quotes, at Dean's quote from the previous night, which floated to his memory in a jiffy. "But I haven't been living under a rock either."

"Touche." Dean winked.

This went on for a few more songs of Beatles, Elvis, Led Zeppelin and Metallica.

Castiel - accidentally - glanced at his watch, right when Dean was searching for 'Jailhouse Rock' and his eyes widened. "Dean!" He almost yelled out. "It's ten past nine!"

"Time flies when you're-"

"Don't say, when 'you're with me'.' Castiel chuckled, in spite of being late.

"Alright. 'When' we're together." Dean smirked, proud of himself.

"Come on, Dean!" He urged. "It's not the time! We're late! We're not gonna be allowed in!"

Dean had taken a 'U' and they were back in front of the school now. Dean winked at Castiel with an over-exaggerated 'Shh' and stopped the car right in front of the gate, and lowered the window glass, putting his elbow out. The guard walked out to his window, with a frown. Castiel waited.

"Hi, Jeff." Dean flashed him his most dazzling smile. "I'm so sorry we're late. It was kind of an emergency. You think we can enter?"

The guard hesitated. "Emergency?"

"Yeah. Private." Dean put his other hand - which was in his pocket - out to the guard. The guard uncertainly shook it, but let go of it with a small smile on his face. "You know the stupid office guys; school starts from nine thirty, then why close the gates at nine? Do you think we can be allowed?"

"I think it'll be alright." The guard, with an incomprehensible look on his bearded face, opened the gate. Dean did a beautiful swerve to park his Baby in her parking slot. And did it with a flourish. He looked at Castiel.

"Now, what do you think of that, cherry-pie?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"I don't get it." Castiel scrunched his nose, and scowled. "The guard usually lets no one enter past nine! And we're ten minutes late!"

"You're with me, sweetheart. And rules don't just bend for Dean Winchester," He smirked, confidently, his gaze directed at Castiel. "They trip over their own tongues, bowing down to him."

TAGS: @just-some-supernatural-trash @supernaturaltakeover @sarcasmandbittercoffee @imabinomialbitch @alwaysbringabananatoapartyrose @alexthetrashmaster @thegirlbetweenthewolves @emmii4 , @ohparis @lucile-carter @suckerfordeansfreckles @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect @frownyfacecas @sama-lam-a @helloimthetrickster @destielsangel @firelight789 @ogopogo4007 @mishaspuella @theshippinglife4me @speak-only-in-spn-gifs @kassyfreaksout @wolffuchs @bowtiesandflannel @xxwinchesterx @winchestergirl-13 @givemeanameforchuckssake @thatsherlockianfangirl @matokii95 @ace-of-black-hearts @19agbrown @rachelehurt @secretlycrazyfangirl @ayeimmaloser @massacnaed @waifukeef @birds-of-forgiveness @sassysousa @binkmoi @wellofwoes @mareaguibo @destiel-otp-of-the-lord @go-live-your-dream-assbutt @iankabra @leslais @sherlocksangelel @w-ayward @thegreatbobbinski MOST OF THESE PEOPLE ASKED TO READ MY STUFF (I love you guys so much, I can’t even) SOME OTHERS I’VE TAGGED BECAUSE A) I’M ASSUMING DIDN’T SEE THE POST and B) I REALLY WANT FOR THEM TO SEE THIS POST (sorry if you actually were not interested and for tagging you without your permissions in some cases)

P. S. Hey, guys, the last chapter wasn't so well-received as the ones before them...is it not going well? Do you people not like the story anymore? Or am I over thinking, which wouldn't be a first...I promise a update *tomorrow* if indeed you guys are liking the story and are just busy (you have a life, I get it, I'm just being paranoid here, please bear with me), but if this one doesn't do too well, I'll restrict to publishing this story on ao3 and continue with my oneshot-fics and drabbles as before...do voice your opinions in the comment section, anyhow, have an awesome day folks! ~ a slightly-worried writer, Sheya

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thisdaynews · 7 years ago

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Breaking News: What you don't know about Donald Trump's Youngest Son Barron Trump

New Post has been published on https://www.thisdaynews.net/2018/05/24/breaking-news-what-you-dont-know-about-donald-trumps-youngest-son-barron-trump/

Breaking News: What you don't know about Donald Trump's Youngest Son Barron Trump

Most of the Trump children have become well-known to the public over the years, but Barron remains a family outlier. The 11-year old son of the President first captivated the eyes of the world late on Election Night when he stood behind his father on the stage while victory was accepted. Barron, of course, looked more sleepy than jubilant on stage, which inadvertently won over the cold hearts of an America that was mostly happy the election cycle was finally over. Who is this young Simba-like figure? It’s time we get familiar with America’s new boy-prince, Barron Trump.

He’s the only child of Donald and Melania

One thing about the incoming First Family to take note of is that it has a little bit more sprawl than the last one, owing to Donald Trump’s multiple children by three wives. Barron Trump, the youngest of the clan, is but one branch of a family tree that includes Ivanka, Eric, and Donald Jr., born to Donald’s first wife, Ivana Trump; and daughter Tiffany, born to Donald’s second wife, Marla Maples.

As for Barron, he’s the only child of Donald and Melania Knauss Trump, and was born on March 20, 2006. Until recently, he lived with his mom in their Trump Tower penthouse on Fifth Avenue in New York City, while dad moved into the White House after assuming his new role as POTUS. Donald and Melania were married about a year prior to Barron’s birth, in January 2005.

His delayed move to the White House was because of school

As of this writing, Barron and his mother have officially joined President Trump in residence at the White House. But the reason they stayed behind wasn’t because of the lack of gold plating in the West Wing. It was so Barron could finish out his year at the prestigious and very-expensive Columbia Grammar and Preparatory School, where he attended through the end of the school year.

Reassuring him that he’d be able to finish out his year at the school that Us Weekly reports has a price tag of around $45,000 per year, Barron’s mom told him, “Take it day by day, enjoy your life, live your meaningful life as I like to do.” We’re not sure the then-10-year-old Barron was able to process such a life-changing move through the lens of that fortune cookie wisdom, but he did get to finish the year with his friends and classmates. Although things at the school definitely changed after November 8th, 2016…

Parents at Barron’s school had a post-Election freakout

Anyone who has so much tried to walk near Trump Tower will tell you that Donald Trump’s presidential victory has created major headaches for the city of New York. Apparently, though, few people were more worried than the parents at Columbia Grammar and Preparatory School. “Some parents are freaking out and worked up about security and what the school is going to do,” a board member told Vanity Fair. Some are worried about safety concerns; others are reportedly annoyed about various inconveniences—like, you know, the time the school’s sole elevator was blocked off for Melania for an open house event in 2016.

The school even had a real life scare scenario in March of 2017 when a lockdown procedure was put into place after a suspicious vehicle was spotted outside the building. According to The New York Daily News, “a military-style bag in a beat-up blue and silver pick-up truck with an Indiana license plate” was reported to police as a “suspicious package,” triggering a bomb squad response and the school’s reactionary security procedure. It’s a frightening scenario for any school, but one that carries additional weight when the President’s son happens to be enrolled there.

He’s the first boy to live in the White House in decades

Now that Barron’s actually made it to Washington, he has officially become the first boy to grace the halls of the White House in almost 60 years. Yep, the last time America had a “First Boy” was all the way back in 1961, when John F. Kennedy’s son, JFK Jr., moved into the White House when he was just a baby, according to CNN.

And Barron made his entrance to the presidential residence in true Trump fashion, exiting Marine One and strolling across the White House lawn to his new digs while wearing a shirt emblazoned with the words ‘The Expert.’ And here we thought Uncle Jared was the boy wonder of the family.

He’s not into wearing sweatpants

As one might expect from someone born into a billion-dollar business family, little Barron has been dressing for success pretty much his entire life. He even wore a suit to the launch of his half-sister Ivanka’s book when he was only three-and-a-half-years-old, according to People magazine.

“He’s not a sweatpants child,” Melania said while discussing her son with ABC News in 2013. “He doesn’t mind putting on [a suit]-but not every day- and he likes to dress up in a tie sometimes like Daddy.” But that’s not to say that Barron doesn’t like a little comfort. In fact, he sometimes pairs his prep school uniform with customized New Balance sneakers that reportedly cost $149, according to Footwear News. Yep, you read that right. The Trumps pay $149 for Barron’s sneakers and something called Footwear News actually exists in reality.

He used to moisturize his skin with caviar

If you needed further proof that Barron isn’t your typical 10 year old, try this one on for size: in 2013, his mother admitted to ABC News that, at the time, she applied her own line of caviar-infused moisturizer to his skin after he took his his nightly bath. “It smells very, very fresh,” Melania said of her Caviar Complex C6 skin care line. “I put it on him from head to toe. He likes it.”

Unfortunately for the two of them, this tradition may have been short-lived; according to Racked, Melania’s skin care line fell apart shortly after its high-profile launch.

He takes after his father

Given that he loves to wear suits and moisturize his skin with caviar, it should surprise exactly no one that Melania often refers to her only son as “little Donald” and “mini-Donald.” “He is a very strong-minded, very special, smart boy,” Melania told Parenting. “He is independent and opinionated and knows exactly what he wants. Sometimes I call him little Donald. He is a mixture of us in looks, but his personality is why I call him little Donald.”

“When he was 5 years old, he wanted to be like daddy: a businessman and golfer,” she added later in the interview. “He loves to build something and tear it down and build something else. He is very detailed at drawing. We travel often and he remembers everything he sees. Sometimes later the same day or the next he would build something like he saw or imagine something himself.”

In a 2013 interview with ABC News, Melania again referred to Barron as “mini-Donald,” which if we’re being honest, has to sting a little for Barron’s older half-brother, the actual Donald Jr.

He may or may not have a nanny

In a September 2015 interview with People magazine, Donald and Melania insisted they did not use a nanny to help raise Barron. “I like to be hands-on,” Melania told the magazine. “I think it’s very important. Barron is 9 years old. He needs somebody as a parent there, so I am with him all the time. As you know my husband is traveling all the time.”

Days after the interview was published, Donald, in true form, told the New York Post that there was, in fact, a “young woman” who “works with Barron.” Still, to this day, reports describe Melania as being “really devoted” to her son; a source told the Post in November 2016 that Melania is often seen picking up Barron from school. That same source also claimed that Melania had not relied on nannies to help raise her kid. So, who knows what the heck is going on?

Donald didn’t change his diapers

In that same interview with Parenting, Melania said of her husband, “He didn’t change diapers and I am completely fine with that. It is not important to me. It’s all about what works for you. It’s very important to know the person you’re with. And we know our roles. I didn’t want him to change the diapers or put Barron to bed. I love every minute of it.”

But that’s not to say that Donald wasn’t a doting dad in his own way. Melania also said that he and Barron love to play golf, eat dinner together and “enjoy family time” at Mar-a-Lago, the family’s Florida getaway. Golf and dinner, huh? Sounds a bit more like the closing of a business deal than a loving father-son day.

He’s fluent in two languages

Although he reportedly takes after his father, Barron has also inherited his mother’s roots as well. According to a 2016 interview with GQ magazine, Melania revealed that Barron “speaks Slovenian fluently.” In fact, he speaks the language with his grandparents, who live near Trump Tower, according to the interview.

Melania also once bragged to People in 2009 that at just three-years-old, Barron was also speaking French in addition to Slovenian and English. But two years later, during an appearance on The Joy Behar Show, Melania said, “Barron speaks two languages completely perfect. He goes from one thing to another, Slovenian/English.” What happened to French? Was he just not fluent enough to mention it yet? Does Barron Trump own a beret? These are questions of national importance that need an answer.

He lives like a king

In her interview with Parenting, Melania also dropped the bombshell news that Barron’s digs at Trump Tower are so sweet, he actually has an entire floor to himself, complete with his own personal flourishes that include the incorporation of “planes and helicopters” into the decor of the rest of the house. Not only that, but it was no big deal if he wanted to draw all over the walls, because “we can paint it over,” she said. With that kind of set-up, it’s no wonder that they weren’t in a rush to move him into the White House.

And though he’s not getting his own wing of the executive residence, his lifestyle isn’t exactly getting downgraded. According to Inquisitr, the White House has a staff of 100 people who “will know what every member of the Trump family likes, as far as food, snacks, and personal items. This will be stocked and waiting for the family so they can obtain it at a moment’s notice.” Rumors even swirled that Barron’s getting a Goldendoodle puppy, named Patton, to go along with his new home, so at least if he gets homesick, he’ll have a new buddy around to cheer him up.

He’ll probably stay out of the spotlight

With his official appearances thus far limited to the Inauguration Day festivities and the White House Easter Egg Roll, it remains to be seen how involved with public life Barron will be. But if history is an indicator, young children of past presidents have mostly steered clear of the public eye.

And it seems like Melania intends to uphold that tradition as well. In an October 2016 interview with ABC News, Melania said she is hoping to shield him from the public as best she can. “I teach him, I explain to him so he knows what’s going on,” she said. “And—he’s—he’s taking very well. I keep him balanced and—just have him a childhood as normal as possible. And he’s enjoying his school and his sports. He’s a great athlete. And I just want to have him—out of the spotlight for now.” Even though they’ve since moved to Washington, her stance on wanting her son to have as normal a life as possible probably hasn’t changed.

He will attend St. Andrew’s Episcopal School

Just weeks ahead of Melania and Barron’s move to Washington, the First Lady released a statement regarding the family’s choice for Barron’s matriculation in the fall of 2017. He’s headed to St. Andrew’s Episcopal School in Potomac, MD, which according to The Washington Post will cost approximately $40,000 per year. In addition to the school’s prestigious reputation — it boasts that 100% of its graduates go on to some type of higher education — St. Andrew’s has a range of impressive facilities, including “a 14,000-volume, two-story library with an audiovisual classroom and a periodical reading room; a multipurpose theater/assembly/lunch space that features a stage and light/sound booth; two visual arts studios with ceramics wheels and a kiln; a darkroom; two full-size basketball courts; a fitness room; a dance studio; and two full turf fields for softball, baseball, lacrosse and soccer.” Nice.

Barron will be the first child of a sitting president to attend St. Andrew’s, though the school does claim other famous alumni, like eBay founder Pierre Omidyar. Maybe if Barron plays his cards right, he might end up rich like that guy some day.

#Barron #Barron Trump #but Barron remains a family outlier #Donald didn't change his diapers #He lives like a king #He may or may not have a nanny #He takes after his father #He used to moisturize his skin with caviar #He will attend St. Andrew’s Episcopal School #He'll probably stay out of the spotlight #He's fluent in two languages #He's not into wearing sweatpants #He's the first boy to live in the White House in decades #He's the only child of Donald and Melania #His delayed move to the White House was because of school #It's time we get familiar with America's new boy-prince #looked more sleepy than jubilant on stage #Most of the Trump children have become well-known to the public over the years #of course #Parents at Barron’s school had a post-Election freakout #The 11-year old son of the President first captivated the eyes of the world late on Election Night when he stood behind his father on the st #What you don't know about Donald Trump's Youngest Son Barron Trump #which inadvertently won over the cold hearts of an America that was mostly happy the election cycle was finally over #Who is this young Simba-like figure?

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