#i dont think ill be back for a longer while
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a sincere apology to like my 3 followers for being so inactive i forgot this account existed.........
#ang talks to the void#im more active on twitter#i dont think ill be back for a longer while#i need to heal my fomo first#but i'll lurk perhaps
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Do you think Yesod has ever taken refuge on Netzach's floor.. he hates the ticking of his own floor .. and he's a homosexual.. maybe Chesed visits too .... holy trinity of bad coping mechanisms or something ..
thats funny that he does actually... perhaps
#library of ruina#yesod#yesod lor#chesed#chesed lor#netzach#netzach lor#I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER it was also originally going to be longer... probably will do those ideas later as well but i didnt want to#put this off any longer. i got rather anxious from the attention so i ran for a bit. again im sorry... i hope these are good enough#anyways the thoughts. i want thinking abt it because yesod already is the orderly type and netzachs floor is a MESS DAMN girl you live like#this. or whatever the sort. but it being messy might be an excuse to do something w hands and physically move and do something and still#feel productive somewhat while also doing something less energy intensive. perhaps. for yesod. the other ideas were like.. chesed going dow#to the lower floors and bringing coffee with a cup so that itd be an excuse to either have them come return it and visit or go back down to#get ot later. as an excuse again of course.#there is a lot of little critters on netzs floor actually... little thangs.#i dont think ill have enough room. anyways again SORRY!!! its done.... somewhat
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HI MY BELOVED ANGEL!!! i am sending u mattsun + campfire as well as kisses n hugs <33
SAINTTT hello 🥺 thank you for sending a prompty!! 🥹 idt i've ever written mattsun fully before so this is something new!
help me get back into the writing groove! send me a character + any word and i'll write a short blurb about it!
contains: exes, stranded-y situation, feelings are complicated, some expletives
mattsun + campfire
"i told you we should've brought the spare—"
"yeah, let me go back in time for a sec and do just that."
"asshole."
lesson #1: nothing good ever happens when you're stuck in a car with your ex on the way to somewhere remote.
you blame iwaizumi for this one. who the fuck chooses to spend their birthday weekend in the fucking wilderness?
(okay, you don't actually think it's so bad. to be fair, he did plan this a year ago. and it did sound like a good idea. then. at the time. anywhere with the boys was always guaranteed fun―at least, until you and matsukawa broke up.)
"can you pass me the flashlight?" he points at the backpack behind you. when you hand it over, your fingers brush over his as he takes it away from you.
and you hate it, because―
lesson #2: you should never be alone with your ex when you still have feelings for them.
you'd agreed to take two cars to the camping spot: iwaizumi's with oikawa and hanamaki and matsukawa's with you. there was no way you'd fit in one, and hanamaki ultimately decided to ride with iwaizumi because, "you and mattsun have shit to sort out," he'd said.
with night setting and the two-hour headstart they managed to get ahead of you, the best thing you and matsukawa can do is to set up camp temporarily and wait for them to come back for you come sunrise.
you sigh.
leaves crack underneath your feet as you maneuver around your camping space. the light from matsukawa's flashlight tells you where he is, just a bit deeper in the forestry as he looks for wood to help set up the fire.
you unload the car in the meantime, bringing out some snacks and sleeping bags while waiting.
matsukawa eventually comes back with arms full of wood, and you help in whatever way you can, clearing the space and fetching more twigs when needed.
the entire car ride here had been quiet, so it's not surprising that this entire process has been equally as silent. until―
"did you already pull out your tent?" he asks, half of his body disappearing into the trunk of the car.
"huh?" you go closer, "i only brought out the sleeping bags."
then he sighs, ducking out from the trunk with a hand on his hip, "we only have one tent."
"what?"
"makki must have gotten yours with his when he decided to move cars."
his hand runs through his hair, a habit you know well. it lights up all sorts of weird feelings in your tummy
you don't know how to feel―
"i can sleep in the car."
―but you know that you definitely don't want him to do that. all things considered, you were friends first. and you've both been trying to be friends again since the breakup. you wouldn't want to cause him discomfort like that.
so, with a deep breath, you say, "it's okay, we can just share."
"are you sure?" he stares at you.
you nod.
after setting up the tent, you eat a few energy bars and clean up from the day's events. the campfire provides ample enough heat, but with how fast the flames are burning, you're doubtful it'll last the two of you the entire night.
it’s much later on, past midnight, that your doubts are proven right when you and matsukawa are cramped together in a tent made for one. it started to get cold a few minutes ago, and you've found yourself inching closer and closer to the warmth you’ve gotten used to laying against for the past two years.
he's only pretending to be asleep, you know that much, too. the rise and fall of his chest is hardly there; you can see it, how he's holding his breath being this close to you.
"issei," you whisper.
he opens his eyes, eyelids lifting lazily as he meets your stare. the vibration of his hum reverberates to you.
"it's cold."
for a moment, your stomach drops at the thought that he could ignore you; how it would make perfect sense for him to. you broke up with him after all, and he doesn't owe you anything, much less favors as intimate as this one.
but he closes the already dwindling gap between you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he pulls you closer. it's near, far too near for exes to be―noses touching and all.
"warmer?" his voice comes out hoarser through the whisper.
you nod, your head shifting up and down—which, truly, is where you ultimately fuck up. you feel it, a little chapped but still pliant against your lips.
in your carelessness, you accidentally brush your lips against his, the sensation alone surprising you enough to inch your head back as you mutter your apologies.
"sorry? really?" he asks, eyes half-lidded still as he chuckles.
his question settles into the small space you're in.
your vision trails from his eyes, down to the slope of his nose, until it lands on his lips again. a little split like you've always known, but still your favorite. still the only lips you want against yours.
when you lean in again, you know you're fucked, because―
lesson #3: the number one rule is that exes shouldn't kiss each other anymore.
#mattsun x reader#matsukawa x reader#hq x reader#shotorus.workbook#WAAAAAH i hope u like this saint !!!#ive never rlly written mattsun in length before so i hope i captured him enough ?????#i feel like he's such a tough balance to write (bc i am not witty at all and i feel like he would be HAHAHA)#anyway !!! some stuff abt the fic: the split was amicable for the most part#but the reason why makki says reader and mattsun have stuff to sort out is because there's like a weird tension~~ that he feels around them#and its kind of like. they bicker? and snap at each other like exes do but also it's just like. why do u care abt what the other does so mu#if you arent together anymore ?? typa thing. its like. they argue but in a way couples normally do if that makes sense#HONESTLY MAKKI WOULDNT HAVE ALSO MINDED STAYING WITH THEM cos he likes to watch HAHA but i think#he joined iwaoi more as a 'ill give u guys time together to fuck it out or wtvr just dont be weird on iwa's bday' typa thing#they were also together for a while! friends first and everything hmmm the reason why reader broke up with him#can be up to you! but my intention was for it to be something fixable and just more fitting for a 'break' typa thing#not necessarily a breakup#also the iwa car went ahead and they have the spare tire so they can go back and help but better in the daylight#i think thats all !!!#i hope you like it !!#ask#rep#saint.🩸#honestly these just keep getting longer hAHAH i should follow my 20 minute cap more#ask rep answered#heartsyougave
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thank you for over 1k followers!! wrapped up this special gift for yous
#thank you all for over 1k...#tied up an ivy as a gift for u... (its me im ivy)#i think we reached this during my exam period. abt a month or two ago#and i sketched this out back then as a quick 'thank you' type thing to post#but decided i wanted to try doing something more 'proper' instead#since its not really an everyday occasion smkdfs#im glad i worked a bit harder on this even if it took a while longer. extra special from me to you#diary#milk#i dont really know what else to say without repeating myself so ill just say it once. thankies... a lot ksfs
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its been fun yall see you when splatoon 4
#dedf1sh#its been actually crazy to have been a f1sher since s2#our little fucked up gender and mental illness capsule to pass around ahato mizuta made for a fucking crazy little community#and s3 artists going back and making their own f1sh was such a good time#and acht in side order real has delivered an insurmountable amount of life to the tag#going from a tag that has something new maybe once a day to the absolute flood that side order caused was fucking incredible#but all hype dies out eventually#many fewer people have their own f1shes theyre shaking around for fun. many more arent really as into splatoon anymore#i dont think the ride is over but the dedf1sh tag has not been this barren in quite a long time and these droughts will likely get longer#and more frequent as time passes#some previously big f1shers have just moved to bsky or gone offline since the boom#if youre taking the time to read this and you love this character then make them your own and share something about it#im kind of a hypocrite in that regard but i guess you need to start sometime#over the past 6 years ive never written down my own headcannons#ive never drawn my own design#ive never put out anything i wrote#but ill make you a promise to start to try if you stick with me in our green mental illness octopus fanclub#the most beautiful part of this community has always been seeing the pieces of the souls of the people giving unique life to a character#who even now has limited lore and personality and motives#and watching the way their fish refracts their own#this is a unique fandom and i want to try to keep it alive while we wait for our next big wave of popularity#and maybe help some acht fans find out why ahato was such a beautiful moment in time to so many. and maybe help make another moment
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i feel like i got severance'd when i started liking looney tunes and anytime i stop being obsessed w it for a while thats just like. a different guy. hm i was really obsessed w dragon ball in january and drew fanart and was planning on watching every piece of dragon ball media ever.... #dont remember #dont care. who was that guy. this has been going on for years and it really shouldnt surprise me at this point and on some level it doesnt even really bother me but it somehow shocks me every single time.
#ITS REALLY SO WEIRD !!!!! ILL NEVER UNDERSTAND#like on some level i KNEW i wasnt gonna get through all dragon ball media before losing interest#but internally i kinda dont *really* know that. like in the back of my head i was like “hmm but THIS one will be the exception”#i was plowing through library books right before this latest looney tunes bout an i have like 10+ checked out right now#and now im like hmmm dont really care abt these anymore.... not sure why i checked a lot of them out in the first place...oh except this on#i can relate it to looney tunes tangentially ok ill keep that one#*wakes up surrounded by a bunch of weird ass library books and writings* damn who the fuck closed last night#who was in my room reading the bible and the marquis de sade. cuz i dont think that was me that doesnt sound like something id do#where did these outlines for a bizzare paradise lost style epic in my docs come from#sry to the charlie who wrote those ig youll have to take a break for a while i got struck by the looney tunes lightning again#its not even like i do too much at one time or i run outta the most interesting content its like a pretty predictable timescale so im kinda#racing against the clock. like ok i have ONE MORE WEEK of dragon ball interest to finish ALL of it. right now it FEELS like ill never#be interested in anything else but ik i will so i gotta hurry#and now it feels like i literally might never watch anything dragon ball related again and that doesnt bother me at all#ive tried pacing myself to make the interest last longer too an it jus doesnt work... it comes an goes whenever#fascinating. can someone dissect my brain and tell me what the fucks going on in there#charlie words
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I need to draw my rook bc I actually do have some ideas for them I just. Have NOT been in a creating mood idk I'm so tired... Aoughgggh
#crow rambles#i want to write and i want to draw and i want to do a million things and i am doing NONE of them...#insane... crazy even...#like. i have several fic ideas i wanna write (nothing new there) but i am not writing them#i. well i dont have any art ideas now but i WANNA draw but ohh. hard :(#i think i may be having a little creative burnout... give me like four days ill be back on my game#i can never stay away from art for too long. i get itchy if i dont draw for a few days#longest ive went without drawing in the past like. decade. has been a week and that was when i got covid#my ass can NOT put the pencil down#i do want to get some of my rook ideas into fic bc i think it may help me flesh them out a little bit#while i do have a lot of criticisms of dav i kinda wanna stop focusing on them so much#bc i KNOW ive been posting about them alot on here#and while i don't think the game SHOULDNT be criticized (it definitely should) i dont want to be solely negative on it#bc i actually did have fun playing it#and i want to reflect it in my posts lmao#however. i love bitching. i am so good at bitching#its a competitive sport and im winning. top tier bitcher thats me#idk i should probably replay the game bc its always easier to make a protagonist for a dragon age game once you know the plot#but also i want to finish my dao replay... and replay da2... and finish my dai replay i never finished lmao#im at the landsmeet in dao so it shouldnt be much longer. i plan on skipping the golems dlc this go round bc i dont really like it and it#doesnt add very much to the plot imo. everytime i play it i get pissy over the harvester. fucking AWFUL boss#tried killing it on hard mode. once. i am never doing that shit again i HATEEEE that stupid thing#<- by landsmeet i meant i am doing the denerim quests right before the landsmeet. im just before the whole 'anora got locked up' thing#am NOT looking forward to the alienage... idk i really want go get to witch hunt 😭😭
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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...
#me @ my youngest sister at 6.30 this morning: yooooooo can u draw me a fishy so i can get it tattooed on me?#i drew her some flowers so i want a paralell tattoo with her initials bc she has my initials on her#but i literally have not spoken to her since like may bc i do not talk to my sisters unless we r in the same room. no hate we just dont hav#a lot in common. it makes me a lil sad tho bc im curious abt them. my youngest sister is at least nice to me 😭#ive been thinking abt asking her for ages and last night i was asked abt my sisters so i was like. the time is now#while im still a bit elevated#which has been to my advantage bc i was able to stay v chatty and energetic while talking to ppl. and i think i made some friends#we bonded over fic reading. so theyre a bit. ya kno. girls gays and theys of science#we make the world go round. but its so interesting to hear them talk abt coming to school here bc they both liked where they were and r#leaving their support systems. and im like bruh if i didn't leave the southwest i was gonna die. im so happy to b here#support system? whats that. i talk to my parents once a month and that's it lol. but im gonna try to establish one here#and try to actually make actual friends. this school is way better abt making grad students interact#my last school was not at all like that. but anyway i had fun#and i mean im only at the start of the semester. and im in a good mood. and i kno things will get stressful#but im just really happy i got accepted here#and the longer im here the more clearly i can see how much i was suffering#the funny thing is tho that i wrote this last night and only hours later i was squirming in frustration bc the fact that im back in therapy#means i feel a greater obligation to not b actively self destructive. evil coping mechanisms my beloved#this is y my mum wanted me back in therapy bc im a goodie 2 shoes and when my counselor is like: did u do X the next time i see her. ill b#honest and itll b annoying >:-[ ugh#its just hard for me to b around ppl a lot bc i get stuck in mental loops bc ocd. which is exhausting. and i want it to stop#and i want to do bad things to make it stop but i wont bc im trying to b better#its just funny to me that ill go from everythings awful to everythings great i shoukd talk to my sisters and make friends and do this and#this and this. to oh god i cant do this anymore in such short time frames with certainty that how im feeling is how ive always felt#ive also noticed that my peaks of high energy do come before stressful events. which does make me worry for future stressful events. like#defending. i mean ive never gone fully off the tracks but its a lil alarming when it feels like the train is going at a million miles an hr#unrelated#meanwhile my other sister is apparently in Colorado but when i saw the pics is was like: YOU BITCH#R U CLOSE TO ME RN??? but no. Colorado is far away
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#i think im going to be taking a break. these never last so hopefully itll last longer this time.#i have things on queue so. ill probably be around now and again to fill more but. i dont know. otherwise. a break#the millionth one I Know#depression has been kicking my ass & ive been feeling alone and sad & like a wounded animal shoving myself into a hole away from everyone#its only monday and this week is already hard#and quite frankly im already convinced its going to be an insane hassle to even make it to the end of it.#sooo. if the queue runs out and im not back. sorry!#ive been debating about logging out of tumblr on my phone the way i did discord but its something to pass the time i guess#anyways. sorry to everyone who loves me and likes talking to me. hopefully ill be back soon ✌️#but if its a while before i am. sorry. see you on the flip side i guess
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my roommate hasa to get a phone today because of storage. i cant wait to see how much i want to kill myself by the end of this!
#hes like fucking clueless and takes forever#and like ik i get it but couldnt you bother to go over shit a million times before hand??#mine took 10~mins max with going back because i forgot to switch my number over.#knowing him hes gonna get the exact same thing but take 50 mins or so to think on it#like what is there to think on??#its not like hes trading in his phone or smth#'well finances' well your work and lack of storage says too damn bad.#just suck it up and do it bro its not that big of a deal.#(coming from the guy who deleted literally everything that he could from his phone before daring to consider getting a new one for 3 years)#damn that phone lasted longer than my relationship holy#both my roommates kept all their old phones so#they just gave them to me??????#i dont really know why either?????#like just full acesss. no passwords no nothing.#im too scared to look at the photos on some of them tbh#roughly and i quote 'youre the techy guy you can probably find a use for them'#im. really not. i vaugely know which files i need to get into and how to alter game code and change vcl skins.#i took a intro to coding corse once and sucked at it.#it was mostly just html and css and i just made like every word penis.#im not that good at this shit.#tbf. i know the difference between a micro usb changer. type c. and a iphone charger and they think im god for it so. idk where my standard#even are atp. ok but seriously just look at the plug in its literally just basic ass shapes.#i love praise but i genuienly belve im sub par and everyone around me is just acting stupid.#because that totally helps a warped sense of self doesnt it!#god im just fucking dreading this. i have to get showered and go with him and stand there for like an hour or so with no chairs explaining#the most basic shit while he keeps double checking with everyone else. like bro dont ask me in the first place. then have to come back and#help him set it up and get a million questions about how icloud works#and reinstall all his apps. and then maybe ill be done 5 hours later.#i cleaned my desk the other day i was planning to get some shit done with my set up#(i hate my current set up. like its fine and all but oh my god its kinda horrendous. i made 'decorations' if you can even call them that bc
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Im bout to cut off like 6 major stressors and put an additional 8 on the Blackburner which means I'm either gonna do something impulsive soon (can feel it in my bones) or i might die. Theres a rejection letter ive been keeping an eye out for, but it hasn't come in yet so im thinking about sleeping around in the next few weeks just to feel something new.
Or i might try to strong arm my new server into playing games w me a lot to distract myself, but having sex would be so cool rn since romance doesn't seem to be an option. Everyone im hanging out w currently is like married or coupled up. I might start gravedigging in search of a body soon.
#the last time i had sex was nice. didnt feel clingy bc i came.#the idea of romance atm is like. i dont think its impossible but im pining after one person in specific thats not my anime bf but a real#human being but its also like i had fumbled the entire situation devesatingly bad. i think im gonna finally chalk it up to a big L though m#n* try to actually move on. or not idk. i like the feelings i have. not as a distraction to shitty stuff happening but i enjoy pining#and feeling nostalgic and having like a specific person to project that on. since theres no input back i might just hang on to these#emotions a lil longer and start fooling around w ppl again interim at least til ososan s4 starts. but i like barely can leave the house#and cant drive. and id have to spend a LOT of energy on finding someone specific for a d app#which is so much work. 😔 idk whatever i do im not doing it for at least 2ish or 3ish weeks from now til i can walk around w/o dying#i dont have enough time irl to look for a boyfriend either and i kinda hate texting guys#on the flip tho im so bored and everyone else is actually in love irl. not as bitter as i used to be bc i stopped being an incel a while ago#but like i do miss being held. ill figure it out soon#fucking should be the last thing on my mind but i always crave physical intimacy when im feeling low like this#love cuddling ppl and then immediately blocking their number 😭
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between now and april ive gotta find a really nice quality solid [metal] hoop earring
#i speak#silver or titanium#smth that wont be an Issue with my allergies#that i can just put in there and leave forever#that was my end goal with the piercing#hyped to see its not that far away#im gonna be really particular about it though (as i should be)#i want it to be a nice size where it sits well and isnt too big to where the end of my glasses can fit through it dsfghddksg#not sure if i should go back to the piercer i got it done at because 1. im not thrilled about their hygiene (or lack thereof)#and 2. its also far i can probably find a place near me#also 3. i dont know if i'll need a piercer to change it out for me i think ill probably be able to do it myself#especially since im aiming to overshoot the amount of time itll take to heal up enough to switch it out#so im probably fine to just find the hoop where/whenever and do it myself#and ill probably be less anxious about it too#i have had trouble with getting hoops to close tho. and thats just in my lobes. so.#who knows. ive got a month to think about it.#(obvs i could just wait longer but the bar is sooo long and i know its for swelling reasons but it bumps on my glasses)#so. ideally i switch it out for the hoop asap while also accommodating my totally reasonable levels of concerns about healing#anyway tumblr is my diary
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Caitlyn Kiramman HCS
Warnings: SFW + NSFW 18+ content below. View with discretion. possesive!cait, she fucks you with a gun at some point, Reader and cait are married, shower sex
A/N : lowk short cause i was lazy but i wanted to post this 💙 please dont flop.
SFW
LOVES waking up next to you, and she's definitely a huge morning person cause of that sole reason. yes, she hates work and all the stress that comes with it but getting to wake up to her wife after an amazing night of sleep? thats reward enough for her. probably the only thing she thinks about whenever shes on her way home the only thing she dislikes about your mornings together is whenever she leans in for a kiss and you whine about how you just woke up and think you're too messy, cause. so what? she sees nothing but perfection, even in your worst.
"goodmorning, darling."
"cait i just woke up im all gross-"
"you mean to say you're absolutely exquisite, and yes cait i want a kiss."
"dont ever speak ill of yourself, love."
Speaking of so, she always has something to give to you whenever she got home from a long day at work. it doesnt matter how tired she is. you were mentioning a craving of yours at the morning? immediately getting it after work. hell she'll even go as far as buying flowers or something even more expensive than just food. she just loves spoiling you.
has a habit of grabbing or squeezing your waist tighter whenever she sees someone even glancing at you longer than 10 seconds. she grew up spoiled and basically getting everything that she wanted, in result, she becomes very possesive of the things she has. including you, her dearest, most precious asset.
"cait.. stop squeezing so much. im not going anywhere."
"he was gawking at you, like you're some object."
would beg you for a massage daily or just to play with her hair. would sometimes over exaggerate how tiring her day at work was just to get extra effection from you.
gets SUPER whiny for some reason whenever you dont have your ring on. its like, everyone has to know she has a gorgeous wife, right? thats her wife. always uses the reason that "it compliments your pretty hands.", always kisses every individual finger before sliding the ring back on. she likes to think shes proposing to you again.
"will you marry me?, my lovely wife?"
NSFW
loves tying you up and taking full control. something about it makes the heat pool up in her stomach, and to think that she has power over you makes everything all the better. when shes desperate enough, her handiwork doesnt have to be perfect as long as you're restrained, but when she takes her time? trust it'll be hell. being fully undressed as she works to tie different ropes all across your body, your wet, sopping cunt grinding against the rope between your legs as you squirm for the slightest bit of friction. she'll make sure to punish you for that, though.
VERY dexterous with her hands, better than her strap by a slight difference. has basically fingered you everywhere in the kiramman house. bedroom? had you on her lap as she basically probed and bruised your cervix before having to leave for work. kitchen? bent over and begging for it as she just slipped them in and out of you. bathroom? held you against your back with the shower running, the cold water washing over the couple as she parted your folds, taking her sweet time.
Got jealous of some other girl clearly trying to get in your pants while she turned away for a few minutes at a social event she took you to. even in a prestigious, sophisticated soiree filled with distinguished leaders, politicians she still couldnt hold back her greed. her greed for you, and how much she despises even the sight of you near another person that isnt her. she threw you right on the bed before having your skirt bunched up on your waist and getting your brain fucked dumb with her 8 inch royal blue strap. rubbing your clit in small, tight circles before pushing your panties aside when you were wet enough to plunge straight in your wet heat, taking a moment to adjust before setting a harsh, and punishing pace.
fucked you with a gun once at her desk. sprawled out and shivering at the cold air as she eased the pistol's barrel in and out of your pulsing cunt, your wrists grasped in a tight, almost brusing hold as she held them above your head, whispering into your ear breathlessly keep you on edge.
"good girl, taking my gun well.. what if i just.. pull the trigger? no? then take it and stop squirming, darling."
A/N: thinking of making a fic out of that last one OHHHHH lord. i already have a draft saved LOL
-XOXO, trinnifer💋
#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn arcane#caitlyn x you#caitlyn smut#caitlyn x female reader#possesive!caitlyn#caitlyn kirraman x reader#arcane#league of legends
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its crazy how when I'm not routinely finding ways to express creativity all colour + meaning leaches out of my life 😐
#i havent drawn in weeks. u can imagine for urself the state im in rn#im not sure im a real person 👍#the worst part is how difficult it is to get back into. like i have ideas and things i want to make#but the mental barrier its so strong its almost physical. i can hold a pen in front of an open sketchbook but cant will myself to draw#i hate that ppl think executive dysfunction only applies to 'work' like actually it stops me doing things i want to as well#trapped in a limbo of being unable to do anything fulfilling (creatively or productively) while time just keeps fucking passing#ok well if i sit here any longer im going to start screaming. time to play videogames so i dont have to think anymore#.vent#.diaries#maybe ill feel better later. i say every fucking day
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Im excited too because while there may be some rushed or flat story beats for a variety of reasons I love the world setting of tyria. I love seeing what unfolds and how it affects my characters since I dont have a commander oc (not entirely atleast). Characters who are affected by the events in ways that can be really explored.
not to be an enjoyer of guild wars 2, a positive thinker, a game liker, but i AM excited for expac5. i like that teaser image a lot. i like just the thought that we will get new areas and new threats. i will also be believing that anet learned from palyer feedback for soto and will improve. not to be a positive pnancy but i think i will be enjoying that
#i want ash legion homeland lol#please arenanet i need it for character reasons#that looks like ascalon#arenanet is pretty big on defining regions by colors#on a note if we are being sucked into a living wizard fractal or something i want it to be so far back its khan ur era stuff because#i have some reasons for it. character and story reasons.#it wont happen but ill be pretty mind blown if it does lol#but regardless theres some looming charr diplomatic atuff thats hinted at a lot since#the charr have been kinda culturally shattered by the civil war right now#and the charr no longer have war. while they will always easily be mercinaries their military culture is in shambles right now lol#goodluck crecia lol#your decimated society is continueing its identity struggle as the dragons are gone too#maybe something will come from space you will fight against#i also want to see a like#actual guild war but LOL#i dont think thats this
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