#i fucking hate fruit soap

[bendersmind]

My Biggest Pet Peeve

Is the gendering of grooming products. Like beard oil? Okay, fine. Most ladies do not have beards that necessitate oil, but fucking soap? Everyone needs to wash and leather, shock of all shocks, is a scent that some people of all genders enjoy. I'm starting to even get annoyed with things tagged as "masculine" scents. I don't give half a fuck if someone tells me I smell like a dude but the normalization of the scent of a person being one gender or another pisses me off.

Normalize people smelling like things they want to smell like.

[boolger]

A lapdog at a farm - chapter 1

AO3 link. next chapter -> Call of duty. Explicit, 18+, minors do not interact. read the tags. wc: 4,147

Maybe support me on kofi?🥺👉👈

Farmer!John Price x Hybrid!Reader, hybrid! Kyle Gaz Garrick x hybrid! Johnny Soap MacTavish x hybrid! Simon Ghost, John Price x Nikolai.

Summary: When Price was young and left his childhood home, a farm in the middle of nowhere in England, he didn’t enter the military. Instead he moved to London, got a degree and a good career, earning good money. He got you, a human dog hybrid as a pet, after feeling lonely - and you lived your best life for years, spoiled and pampered, Price’s lapdog who got praised at every party. Loved and fucked every night. That was until Price decided to return to his roots and go back to farming - dragging you along to the middle of nowhere, away from all the wonders of the big city. Expecting you to accept this sudden change in lifestyle and pretend to be a farm dog. Bad luck however, because you fucking hated it, and became more and more unruly. In hopes of getting you to calm down and to keep his live-stock and farm safe, Price then got three working dog hybrids - and all at once, your life was even worse than before.

tags: Rape/non-con elements, dub-con, dog!hybrid!people being kept as pets, alternative universe - farm, dark, farmer!John Price, working-dogs, punishments, mating cycles/rut/heat (no omegaverse), the dove isn't dead but its dying, reader is a brat, knotting, animal tails and ears, mentions of trauma, violence, angst, hurt/comfort, collars, rough sex, breeding kink, biting, threesome, foursome, everyone is fucking your honor, enemies to lovers, chubby reader, reader has a pussy

author's note: Hi sinners <33 Just a heads up; the reader is gonna be a spoiled brat. If you want a smart and sweet reader who isn’t mean at times, well. Bad news. This ain’t it.🥰The reader is she / her and has a pussy and is chubby. I tried my best to keep the descriptions somewhat vague otherwise. Reader is a cocker spaniel hybrid. I will tell the others along the way. In this universe, hybrids have ears, tail, claws beneath nails and canine fangs. There will be heats and ruts but there is no omegaverse. They will have personality traits of their dog breed and so on. Now. I know there aren’t wild wolves in the UK… but in this fic there is, ok? mwah.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

The countryside was peaceful compared to the city; the absence of the bustling streets and constant traffic, created a quietness that was indescribable.

Out here, at the new farm, the noises only came from animals that lived in the stables and barn or the occasional rumble as a tractor turned on. The wind caressed the never ending fields of wheat and the long rows of fruit trees, under which the goats and sheep walked most days.

The stress here wasn’t the same kind as in the city. Sure , there were stressful moments and sometimes Price looked like he needed to sleep for more than just the few hours he got everyday.

But he didn’t have to worry about the morning traffic, waiting in a queue for an overpriced, questionable tea or coffee. There was no need for him to wear a suit, no noisy, overfilled train cars in the underground. No crowded dog or hybrid parks, no meetings or rules to follow - except those John Price decided for himself.

He was happy, so much was clear to you. It had been three months since the move - Johnhad gone back to his roots, buying back the farm that his parents had used to own a little while ago, using some of his endless wealth on renovating the place. There was no step on the stairs that was loose, like it used to when he was a kid - sure they still creaked, but you weren’t afraid they would disappear from beneath you.

It was modernized, but most of the old charm left. Price fit right in; the furniture he had inherited and never believed he would use was suddenly in the living room. His knowledge of the business world was abandoned in the city, for the knowledge of farming that he still had left from his youth. John got a couple of farm hands and workers, who helped him with the big place.

It was like he reclaimed his own self that had been buried beneath the suits, ties and paperwork. Now he didn’t smoke his cigars from stress, but from pleasure, clearly much content.

It was like the farm had truly made John Price happy once more; his smiles more genuine, his true self stepping forth. Returning to his childhood home and taking over the farm had been the best decision Price had made. There was no question about it.

… and you hated every bloody day at the farm.

The early morning hours in bed with him, being disturbed by the farm waking up, the rooster crowing and John leaving the bed, giving you a pat in between your ears, taking all the heat with him. The constant bugs, the muddy stables and the big animals, the helpers who always teased you for not fitting in, the lack of friends you had out here. The foxes’ screams in the night, the wolves howling, and the cows occasionally mooing sounded like creatures stepping out of nightmares.

You were not made for farm life. Literally. Simply not made for it.

Some would argue that you, as a hybrid pet, didn’t have a say in it and sure , legally you didn’t. But you were a lapdog, an elegant pet. Not a farm dog. Created to be cared for and cuddled, you were a purebred cocker spaniel hybrid; you weren’t made to run around on a farm, following John on his duties And doing work. 

Sure, you had the instincts to hunt a few things here and there, but it was mostly balls and the occasional bird or squirrel. You weren’t a guard hybrid, not really a working dog.

You had had enough trauma throughout your life - you deserved not to be forced into this! You had grown up being trained to be a lapdog, not a working-dog like you felt like John expected you to act like now.

You wanted John to be happy, you really did - you loved your Master! When he bought you a few years ago, when you were still aggressive and unruly (… more than now at least), you had thought he would tire of you like everybody else had. But with patience, rules, training, praise and punishment and a whole lot of sex later, you were a perfect hybrid pet for the city! People always praised how well you looked, laughing when Price said you were really a little troublemaker. You would follow him throughout the fancy apartment, on your daily walks, sometimes for meetings.

But why the fuck did it have to be a farm? He worked somwwhat the same time that he did before, genuinely seeming to enjoy himself. Forgetting about poor you!

Out here, there were no hybrid daycare that you would go to when he had long days, there were none of your playmates nearby, everything stank of animals and there were no places nearby for you to get your hair and fur styled and pampered! No nail technicians, no fancy cafes, no shops for John to buy you things in! No special made coffee or chef-made meals every other evening, no freshly baked croissants.

You felt like you had tried . You really had. 

But after the first week, you had your first breakdown - and as the weeks passed, they didn’t stop. At first, John was sympathetic, like the perfect owner he was.

Cooing at you, kissing your forehead, as he gently scratched your ears. Kissing away any tears, saying it was okay - that you were just overwhelmed, that it would be okay. That you would come to like it out here.

Big fucking joke.

He had tried every trick in the book, in an attempt to please you and made you less upset, but as days turned into weeks and tantrums began to appear, you knew his patience began to disappear.

He followed professional advice and then the advice of the neighbors down the street, Rodolfo and Alejandro (who had caught you running away at one point), tried some of the workers’ advice. He had given you your own room, and it was mostly designed like your own, perfect to the pale green paint on the wall, all your toys and dog beds, your CDs - everything. He had tried hauling you along every day, trying to give you a routine to follow - but after two weeks, he gave up, not having the energy to deal with a tantrum that got worse and worse each day. He went on walks with you, fucked you silly, tried his best — and you didn’t want it.

No, you wanted to go back to your old life. Not this country life that you hadn’t signed up for, with horses that neighed loudly whenever you passed them; they were definitely going to trample you at the first chance, you knew that. You could hear foxes scream in the night, warning you of the dangers. The goats and sheep were so fucking loud and no you didn’t want to go pick fresh apples off the trees - had he seen the size of the spiders crawling on them?

When you in one of your biggest tantrums took off and bolted from the farm in distress, Rodolfo and Alejandro had almost hit you when you emerged from the corn fields onto the road. 

You had cried the entire drive home, no matter what the two men had tried saying, especially as Rodolfo called Price in advance — your master was livid . The worst thing was, that it was not that kind of anger where he yelled at you before punishing you - no, this one was almost silent, a sharp grip on your collar as he dragged you along after thanking his neighbours.

He had belted you then, ignoring your crying and screaming, only stopping when you broke, sobbing and going quiet. He had explained it to you then, what could have happened, what dangers you could have ended in - and as you sobbingly apologized and tried to explain, that you wanted to go back to the city, John had sighed .

Said that he had pampered you too much since he got you, which had made you greedy and attention seeking. Which only made you cry more, as you hid your face in his neck, fingers digging into his shirt, ass cheeks burning.

“Spoiled rotten, little birdie,” he mused, though you could hear the softness in him, your tail wagging a little, hoping to get him to be less mad.

“‘M sorry,” you had whined in distress, upset with yourself as well, ears tipping down, “wanna be good but I don’t like it.”

Your rather dull escape attempt resulted in several things. An AirTag on your collar, so that he always knew where you were. A remarkable lack of treats, sex and then… the crate .

You fucking hated the dog crate. 

Sure, it hadn’t been nice of you to bite one of his pillows into a simple pulp of fabric, feathers everywhere. Or create chaos in the kitchen… or get drunk on his fancy whiskey (that one had ended worse for you, hangover was a bitch and there wasn’t much sympathy from John). And yes, you might have ripped most of the flowers surrounding the house up, until one of the workers had caught you. Maybe pissing yourself in the middle of the living room while staring him in the eyes and ignoring his warnings had been a little…excessive. 

But the dog crate? You hated that thing with a burning passion. 

Hated it when he locked you up, ignoring your whimpers and whines, your promises to behave, ignoring your little howls as he left. 

Mean. The farm had made him mean. Perhaps you had become a bit unruly too, but it was like he didn’t take your clear suffering seriously.

Mean and happy - unruly and suffering. What a pair you were. One of the workers, KAte Laswell, who was a big helper and often stayed over for dinner, suggested a fucking shock collar. You had growled, only stopped when John sent you a sharp look. 

You had even heard him talking over the phone with somebody, saying that he didn’t want to rehome you, but he didn’t know what to do.

That had made you melt a little and you had cried as you had crawled into his bed a couple of hours later, begging him to not abandon you. Fears of never getting to see John again or being loved again by him made you cling onto him as he kissed away your tears, gently fucking you.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

It was a random morning a couple of days later, that you found him still in the kitchen, reading the newspaper, humming to himself while smoking a cigar.

He looked nice like this. Despite how he sometimes muttered about being too old, he wasn’t really that old. Late thirties, and perhaps it was the peace on his face or the sun rays that kissed him, which made him look younger. But still. There was a decade between you, but days like this, you were reminded that it didn’t matter.

“Are you going to stare all day or are you going to join me, Darling?” He asked teasingly, pulling you from your thoughts. You let out a little huff and kissed him good morning, receiving a pat on the ass before you sat down on your own seat. It had been a while since the two of you had eaten together - often he was up at the crack of dawn, so his calm behavior and gentle humming was unusual to say the least.

“Why are you not working?” You asked carefully, as you ate some of the bread, trying to ignore how it wasn’t a fancy sourdough one - though you were pretty sure he had picked it up from a local bakery in the village which was a little drive away.

“Because,” he put the paper down, then tapping some ash off the cigar into his ashtray, before looking over at you, a pleased smile on his face, “you and I are going on a trip.”

“A trip?” You didn’t even bother to be embarrassed about how your voice got higher with excitement or how your tail thumped against the backrest of the chair as you wagged it, “where are we going? When? Can we go now?”

Price had laughed, a happy sound that you knew not many got to hear; it made your heart beat a little faster, made you feel butterflies in your stomach. 

“Well, we got to do a few things first to get ready, and you ,” he used the cigar to point at you, your tail wagging a little faster, “need to not freak out when I tell you where we are going.”

Despite the warning, tears streamed down your cheeks when he told you. John didn’t get mad as a part of you had expected; he knew your abandonment issues first hand, knew how you had been left behind before, from one bad owner to another. 

“You’re going to sell me and leave me with a mean owner and I’m gonna die of hunger and thirst - and - and —“

“Not gonna leave you, princess,” John crooned, covering your face in kisses as you hiccuped and sniffled, clinging to his clothes, “you know that. My favorite puppy. Pretty girl.”

Despite your tears and small sobs, your tail wagged at his words, “silly puppy,” he mused with a smile, gently scratching your lower back, “‘m not gonna sell you. Ale and Rodolfo are looking for a hybrid, I figured we could go look at the auction as well.”

“What if - what if - what if you’ll like them more?” You sniffled dramatically, sure that your life was only going to become worse than it already was. One thing was this bloody farm and the crate, another thing was having to share Price. You didn’t like the idea one bit. If that happened, you were going to show him how a proper tantrum was thrown - the crate would probably be the least of your worries.

As if to prove his love, John bent you over the table, fucking you in between the clattering dishes and cutlery, tea and coffee almost spilling over. Despite how many times your owner fucked you, it made you lose control of your mind every single time. His cock reached so deep inside you that it bordered on pain, your mouth open as you panted and moaned at each thrust; your soft stomach being pressed against the edge of the table, one hand holding onto the back of your collar, the other on your tail. The table rattled, John groaned and moaned, your fingers desperately trying to hold onto anything. 

“My princess,” he snarled darkly into your ear, “you’ll always be mine-“ a moan, a grunt, “- no matter what happens, yeah?”

“Yes ye-ah- yes, sir, I’m yours - ah ah - I’m yours!” you managed in between pants and wails of pleasure, fear of abandonment forgotten in the ocean of euphoric satisfaction. 

You came harder than you had for a while; the reminder of your worth, of how you deserved his worship, making you cream around his throbbing length, legs in spasms afterwards. He pushed deeper, filling you up with a loud roar like sound, his hands moving to grab onto the fat of your ass and hips as he came. Pain and pleasure made your toes curl and a content sigh left you, your tail wagging against Price as he chuckled.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

The auction hall was filled to the brim with humans and hybrids alike. Every owned hybrid followed their respective owners, all wearing mandatory leashes so no pets would be confused with the ones that were being sold. You wore your own pink one with pride, gem stones sparkling. A matching leash connected to the D-ring on it, that also bore your tags. You were convinced yours were the most beautiful in this entire place.

“They’re bonded,” Laswell pointed out, pointing to the papers that hung nearby, showing off general information about them, “gotta get all three.”

You dared to look at the little board with the informations about the three hybrids they were looking at.

“Ah, we don't have space for three, mi amor.”

“eso es una pena,” Rodolfo answered, while you looked over at John - who kept looking at the three hybrids. You dared to peek over at them.

All three of them were enormous .

Two of them wore muzzles, meaning they were biters. At least at the auction. You shouldn’t judge then, not really, but you did... Even though you had worn a muzzle five years ago, when Price had chosen you. You hadn’t tried biting people out of malice; you had been scared and angry at the world. Angry for being abandoned once more, over the fact that you were most likely being passed on to another abusive master. You leaned a little closer to Price, taking in his scent.

Even from the start, despite all the problems and your attitude problems, he had been sweet. Strict at times — probably not enough — but kind.

The biggest one looked like a Great Pyrenees breed, most likely. The fur on his ears and tail looked shorter, badly cut. Probably due to matting or if he refused to get it cut. His hair, a dark blonde almost brown, was in a buzz cut. He had scars, all over - unable to hide because of the lack of clothes most hybrids were given, only underwear. There was a lot in his face, though you suspected a bunch were hidden by the muzzle. He stared into nothing, his ears curled back, though they moved now and again, listening to different sounds.

“Hard to get sold,” Laswell commented and you looked over at her in synchronicity with John, “they’re ex-military.”

Like he had been called to them, a man who wore one of the seller badges appeared.

“They’re obedient once they fall into place,” he happily explained, going full seller-mode, “they’re just not too fond of the auctions - too many people.”

“Makes sense,” Price mused, clearly interested - much to your annoyance. The fact that he asked follow up questions made you frown, fingers tightening in his shirt. He was here to look. To help Alejandro and Rodolfo, who both had continued their walk. You dared to look over at the hybrids again. All three were staring at you and John. 

“How come they were discharged?”

“One of them got a hearing loss -“ he nodded towards them, “the one with the mohawk. And they’re a bonded pack.”

“So only retiring him was out of the question,” John concluded once more looking over at them.

You felt your tail go in between your legs. He couldn’t be seriously considering those three . you couldn’t help but let out a small whine. Price gave your leash a little tug.

“They’re working dogs,” the seller continued, his eyes flickering to you, making you huff, “so they’ll need something to do, not just be pets.”

“Oh I know. I have a farm. Need some work dogs - this one isn’t guarding much.”

They all laughed, your tail going even further between your legs with embarrassment.

“You can’t be serious,” you whined in a whisper to John, not caring that you sounded needy - spoiled would Laswell had said and you ignored her as she rolled her eyes.

“Hush, Princess.” John didn’t even look at you.

“You have animals there?” The seller asked, “one of them is a herding dog - the border collie.”

“I do - several. That’s why there's a need for guarding dogs as well, bloody wolves have been terrorizing us.”

You knew he was telling the truth; he had muttered about dead sheeps and goats several times - even a calf had lost its life to the wolves in the area, despite he and Laswell having shot two already. Even foxes had gotten into the coop, despite the fences.

“They’re good at that too, with their training,” the seller offered, clearly interested in selling them or at least getting John to bid on them. “The one with the mohawk, Soap , will have hearing aids with him, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

You looked over at this “Soap”, scrunching your nose. They were still staring, the biggest one bending down to listen to the third one, a beautiful black man, whisper in his ear. No doubt judging you.

“It says here they don’t do well with others,” you muttered, in a desperate attempt to sway John, pointing to the board with their papers. It did indeed say so, to which you wanted to argue that YOU should be his main focus in this whole thing - how would he even consider adding them to your household if these dogs could get a hold of you?

“It’s in the sense that they’re not really housetrained to be social family pets,” the seller swooped in, pushing your argument away, annoying you even more, “they’ve had missions all their lives. They need to have something to do.”

“I’m sure you’ll get along with them, sweetheart,” Price answered, giving you a small scratch beneath your chin as he finally looked over at you, a glint in his eyes, “some company will do you good.”

You huffed, crossing your arms. Hardly . Price’s smile told you that he thought this was a great idea however. You dared to look at the men again. Still staring, fucking bastards.

The black man seemed like a mix of some breeds, German shepherd and… you looked shortly at the board. Belgian malinois. Fancy. He wasn’t as tall as the big one, but broad and with scars as well. There was a more slender look to him, but his six pack proved he was strong. His curly hair wasn’t too long, probably cut not too long ago. He was looking at you curiously, making you raise your upper lip a little, as if to warn him.

The one with the hearing loss looked like some sort of border collie - covered in scars as well, some of his skin looking like it had been too close to fire. He was broad like the two others, his upper arms the size of your head. He even sent you a cheeky grin, even daring to wink at you. You just looked away, tipping your chin up a little.

“You can look closer if you want, sir?”

You were pulled back into the conversation at once and before you could argue, John had already passed on your leash to Laswell and walked towards the men with the seller. You whined, distressed that he was really, actually considering this.

“You’ll be fine,” Laswell commented calmly, with empathy in her voice for once, though she didn’t look at you, merely at John and the others.

“He is gonna lose interest in me,” you whined, perhaps a little dramatically, bottom lip wobbling a little as you could feel tears welling up in your eyes, “then he’ll leave me in the crate all day and only care about them an—“

“Calm down,” Laswell said, “you’ll work yourself into a fuss.”

“He can’t do this to me,” you argued in a sullen voice, already imagining John forgetting all about you, focusing on these three hybrids for the rest of his life, leaving you cold and lonely inside the dog crate - maybe even rehoming you, “he promised he wouldn’t get rid of me.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Laswell answered just as calmly as before, “John loves you too much, you’re just being spoiled. Hanging out with some working dogs will do you good.”

“They probably have fleas,” you said, your prejudices seeping into your words, knowing you’re being mean, judgmental against your own kind, “they’ll kill me and eat my dead body.”

Laswell laughed. “No they won’t. Worst thing they’ll do, is probably knock you up.”

A high pitched, scandalized sound left you, despite knowing you had an implant. Laswell laughed again, giving your leash a little yank and then scratching you behind your long ears.

“Settle, Princess. That won’t happen without John’s permission.”

You almost cried at the sight of John shaking the seller’s hand.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

They all met up again for the actual auction part and you sat at John’s feet, sniffling a little. Crying hadn’t helped, in fact John had just petted and kissed you, calling you sensitive. Alejandro had gotten a hybrid earlier that they didn’t need to bid on - she was for sale for a certain price. Something about being too intense without enough space to roam, having attacked others before.

Fucking great. Beasts all around you.

John won the bidding on the three working dog hybrids he had been interested in - because of course he did. He spent way too much money on them too, according to you.

One more - or well, three more fucking things to hate about this “farming life” that had been forced upon you.

Maybe John had gone mad.

next chapter ->

[thatoneautisticshark]

This, which I have been working on for ages and couldn't get right. They don't even fully fuck at the end lol.

But virgin soap gets his first dildo, and is feeling religious guilt. Price and Ghost help.

TW Sexually explicit, anxiety, religious guilt.

Johnny could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he carried the parcel through the halls. He felt like everyone knew exactly what was in the parcel, and everyone was staring.

Everyone knew good little Christian boy Johnny had bought a dildo.

He could feel his face heating up and had never been so grateful to see his door, quickly walking in and slamming the door.

He chucked the parcel on his bed, staring at it. He really bought this, and it was fine. It was natural to need release.

He tore open the parcel, revealing the unassuming black box, and jumped back as if he'd been burned.

Nope nope nope.

Never mind, he couldn't fucking do this.

He took about ten minutes to breath resting his head against the wall. He was being silly. He knew that.

But… he just couldn't.

But he also spent 60 bucks on that. He wasn't going to waste it. He needed to stop being a chicken, if only for the sake of his money.

He grabbed the box, ignoring his hands shaking and opened one of the flaps and into his hands fell… a small bottle of lube.

Strawberry flavoured.

Johnny squeaked, whole face turning bright red as he instinctively threw the bottle, it bouncing on his bed.

Strawberry flavoured? It was fucking flavoured? What the fuck? Oh he was going to hell for sure. As the lube came to a halt, he saw the note attached “A bonus because you are a fruit :)”

Johnny flushed, squeaking louder. Oh god, the lube was mocking him.

The lube knew.

He slid down the wall head between his knees, he needed to calm down. He wasn't going to die, no matter what his heart rate may suggest.

It was okay.It was lube and a dildo.

He nearly died on the regular for crying out loud, this was fine. It was no big deal.He grabbed the box. Pulling out the solid black dildo, feeling the weight in his hands, the silicon.

And nope no. He fucking couldn't. He shoved it and the lube away in a drawer if his night stand, burying his face in the pillow.

“Oh fuck I can't do this.”

It took him two days and about 60 different google searches and articles to finally pull it out again, setting it on his bed.

As he actually looked at it, he blinked in total disbelief. “For beginners? For beginners are they on fucking drugs this is huge … how am I even meant to… huh?”

Johnny sat on the bed, burying his head in his knees as tears streaked his face. He couldn't fucking do this, it was so wrong, he was guaranting himself a spot in hell by doing this.

God he was such a baby, a big strong military man fucking sobbing over a dildo!

He suddenly heard a knock on his door. “Johnny? Are you okay?”

Oh fuck that was Ghost.

“Mactavish? What's wrong?” Price was with him? Oh shit.

Johnny was so so glad he locked the door. He couldn't imagine his captain and Lieutenant walking in on this. Then he heard the door creaks open, and realised with absolute dread he in fact hadn't locked it.

And both of his bosses were walking in, on him sobbing on his head in front of a dildo. He couldn't move though, couldn't bring himself to sit up, to wipe his tears and tell them he was fine.

So instead he let his head drop against the pillows, still sobbing, albeit a little louder.

Price moved slowly into soaps field of vision. “Uhm… What happened son?” Soap heaved slightly still laying motionless on the bed and sobbing as he watched both Ghost and Prices eyes dart to the dildo.

Standing tall and proud on his pillow.

Ghost sat on the bed next to johnny, threading a hand into his mohawk. “Breathe Johnny. You're okay, what's going on?”

Johnny leaned into the hand, but continued to sob.

Price awkwardly patted his back “There there”

“God hates meeee!! He's gonna fucking smite me and I'm going to hell” Johnny burried his face back in the pillow, whole body shaking with sobs.

Ghosts voice came softer than Johnny had ever heard it. “God doesn't hate you, Johnny. What's wrong? Why do you think you are going to hell?”

Johnny gulped, breath hitching “Because I'm gayyy…. And like men … and I'm gonna burn in hell because I bought a dildooooo!”

His breath heaved again as he heard an inhale from one of the other men , but continues

”And it's a waste of money… b-because I can't even fucking … it's… I can'tttt it's confusing!” He heard an odd noise from Simon, but the hand in his hair didn't stop, and neither did Price patting his back.

Johnny was slowly beginning to register what he actually just said, to both his superiors, but didn't have time to back track before Simon was talking.

“Okay.. uh So… You've never done anything like this before… and you bought the dildo, but now you are feeling religious guilt… and you can't work out how to use it?”

Johnny flushed a bright red but nodded, slowly painstakingly lifting his head so he could see the other two men.

They were looking at each other silently communicating, something Johnny had always found exceedingly impressive -and hot. The way they just had to look at one another to decide something had always impressed Johnny.

However he was finding it much less cool when it was about him, he had no clue what they were working out about him, and it was humiliating and incredibly anxiety inducing.

Finally price silently nodded at Simon and the large man turned to Johnny, looking him dead in the eyes. “We could teach you Johnny, if you wanted.” Simon offered voice still that soft gentle tone as if Johnny would break if he was louder.

Then his brain suddenly caught up with what was said. He turned bright red, spluttering. They would help? What!?He wouldn't be against it, he loved both of them, and they were hot as fuck.

He really couldn't work this out alone. But where the hell did that offer come from?

Price seemed to take his silence as discomfort, moving to sit on the bed.

“Or we can just forget any of this happened if yo-”

Johnny scrambled to cut him off. “No no no no. I-...I want …” He gulped ..hoping that got the point across, without him having to explicitly say it.

Simon grinned, or atleast Johnny was fairly sure he did, because of the crinkle of his eyes. Something Johnny loved to pick up on.

Price moved a hand to gently stroke Johnny's thigh, nothing sexual about it, a simple bit of comfort, but it still made Johnny's dick throb.

“Okay… we'll discuss a few boundaries things and then start okay?”

Johnny nodded slowly sitting up, still bright pink, but he sat up anyways, squeaking as Ghost wrapped an arm round him, pulling him flush against that hot muscled chest.

Prices hands gently moved to the Scots hips, and he pressed a kiss to others forehead.

Simon rested his forehead against the back Johnny's head. “D’ye know safe words? Actually I'll assume not. Basically a way to say how you are feeling. So we'll just go traffic light okay”

Johnny frowned “What's the traffic light?” he murmured soft and uncertain.

Price smiled softly “It's a system of simple words to tell us how you are doing. So red is stop, Yellow is slow down, or take a break. Let you get your bearings, and green is all good.”

The captain gently rubbed his hands all up Johnny's torso, tough hands massaging the tension out of his muscles, letting the scot process.

Johnny nodded, committing it to memory, trying to calm his nerves, he knew he was okay, he trusted these two with his life, he could trust them with his virginity and arsehole.

He slowly relaxed against the chest of his lieutenant, leaning into the hands feeling up his body. It was okay, he knew this.

Simons deeper voice rumbled again, and Johnny could feel the chest under him vibrate. “If you say stop, we'll stop okay? Any time, no matter what. We want it to be good for you, alright love?”

And Johnny would be lying if he said that pet name didn't go right to his dick, the care and sweetness, while talking about fucking him, he nodded and felt himself being gently pushed down against the bed.

Price shifted gently placing pillows around Johnny..and then he placed a gentle kiss on his lips, before pulling back to watch the others reaction.

Johnny felt his whole face flush a bright pink, eyes blowing wide and mouth hanging open dumbly.

He had been kissed.

Kissed.

By Price! His hot arse captain. Price huffed slightly. “That okay lovie?”

He questioned softly while grabbing Soaps dildo and the strawberry lube, placing the dildo on the table, and the lube in Simon's hand.

Simon, who Johnny suddenly processed, had his mask off! Simon was completely bare faced, and he couldn't work out if Simon was pretty or hot. He was both so rugged and tough, with pretty curls and his soft eyes.

And Johnny swore if there was a heaven he was in it. Big gentle hands, he couldn't even tell who tugged his shirt over his head, and Simon dove down peppering gentle kisses all over Johnny's chest.

Johnny's head fell back against the pillows, a loud moan escaping his lips at the feeling the gentle kisses slowly turning more open mouthed and wet, Prices hand still on his hips.

It was already so so much, but it was …. Amazing. It felt so good he could barely register what was happening as hands roamed his skin, nails scraping and fingers squeezing.

Simon smirked as he took a nipple into his mouth, causing the Scots hips to buck up, and body tense.

Johnny was brought slightly back to reality by Prices hand finding his hair, grabbing but not yanking. Gently stroking it back. “Mouthy isn't Simon? Has an oral fixation I swear”

The normalcy of it could have made Johnny sob with relief, it was the men.he was comfortable with, and they were acting the same as always. It was so comfortable and safe.

Johnny barely got out an affirming hum, pressing his face against the hand in his hair, much like a cat. Ghost cooed softly placing wet, sloppy kisses down the Scots chest, stopping near the band of his trousers when the man under him tensed.

“Okay, Johnny? Can I keep going?”Johnny slowly nodded, uncertainly, although some of his fear disappeared once price tilted his head up, gently kissing him.

His lips moved clumsily bumping against prices, teeth gnashing slightly, until Price pulled back, still gently cupping Soaps jaw. “Lovie, have … have you ever kissed anyone?”

Johnny felt a bright red blush creeping up his face as he quickly shook his head.

Price's expression just softened even more. “Right. Just relax, let me kiss you, your lips will move naturally okay?”

Johnny nodded as those wonderful warm lips collided with his again, His captains tongue tracing his lips and hand cupping his face as if he were precious.

He had entirely forgotten about Simon until a warm heat engulfed his dick and his hips bucked up. He barely registered the slight gagging noise from below him, a guttural moan escaping his mouth.

He had never felt anything like that before it was so so hot. It felt amazing but weird.He was just getting his bearings slightly back, cracking his eyes open to see Simon, looking up at him through his lashes.

And then the fucking cunt hollowed his cheeks and sucked. Johnny's vision went white, eyes rolling back. He really felt Simon was attempting to suck his soul out through his dick.

He rolled over, a bit overwhelmed with sensations, burying his face in what he thought was a pillow, and quickly worked out was Price's thigh.

A warm hand came to rest in his hair again, and Price gently lifted his head. “colour, darling?"

Colour?

Johnny blinked dumbly at him, confused.

A thumb was gently rubbed along the bone under his eye. “Your colour love. Green, red or yellow” He clarified.

“Uhm..g-green.. it…it feels good” Johnny stuttered out, hiding his blushing face, as

Price cooed for communicating.

Johnny didn't think he'd ever been praised so much for talking. It was so overwhelming but so sweet.

He carefully cracked his eyes open looking down, and the sight made his dick throb. Simons hands were braced on the Scots thighs, and he was bobbing his head with fever.

He seemed to sense the gaze on him, looking up and making eye contact, directly while continuing to suck, before swallow Johnny all the way, nose buried in the dark curly pubes.

Johnny squeaked, cumming harder than he ever had before, cumming before he even realised he was. He buried his face in Price's thigh, moaning as waves of pleasure crashed over him.

He made incoherent noises, begging… for something, he didn't really know what he was begging for.

“Fuck … fuck… please..”

Price soothed him, letting him catch his breath until he finally looked down at Simon. Simon who had a mouth full of Johnny's cum, and was leaning up to kiss price with it.

Oh fuck.

His dick gave a valiant throb, even though there was no way in hell he could continue going. That was hot.

Price eagerly gulping down his cum, from Simons mouth, murmuring about how good it was.

God could get fucked, Johnny decided. He didn't give a shit was magical sky daddy felt, he evidently had never got his dick sucked like this.

[writingoddess1125]

Scents of the Call of Duty Men

Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, König, Horangi, Nikto, Krueger

So I've gotten quite a bit of Omegaverse request for COD members. (There is like 32 of them) I have started a few of them BUT I wanted to make this since I hate the whole 'They smelt like these two things-' Blah Blah. I've heard Sage, Flowers, Wood and Lemon too damn much.

So..

I made this- I'm modeling Scents off of Real Colognes (I love Colognes/Perfumes) these are complex and smell so fucking good.

Here is one for each COD man that I've gotten a request for! Just to know ahead of time.

John Price - Creed 'Royal Oud'

Ever wanted to fuck a man of authority? This is the smell for you- peppery, lemon, and woody. This will make you stand to salute in more ways then one.

Simon Ghost Riley - Maison Margiela 'Replica: At the Barber’s'

Mysterious floral, Spicy, a bit broody with that leather. This right here! This will have you wanna giggle and ask for just one more round.

Johnny Soap MacTavish- Dior 'Sauvage Elixir'

Face Down Ass Up- Do I need to say more?

Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick - 'Bleu de Chanel'

Fresh fruit, Spicy, makes you want to get closer. This is who you wanna take home to your folks then have spicy sweet sex. Boom.

Horangi- Le Labo 'Thé Noir 29'

Earthy, Natural, and just feels like skipping through the woods naked. Makes you wanna go with no rubber!

König - By Kilian - 'Straight to Heaven'

So- This is boozy, dizzy, Spicy and just makes you want it over and over again! It's also strong in all the best ways! The name says it all.

Nikto - Tom Ford 'Noir Extreme'

Oh sweet Jesus. Spice, Roses and some of the deepest almost aggressive vanilla. Your clutching a pillow with this one I swear.

Sebastian Krueger - Memo Paris 'Russian Leather'

Fills your throat, makes your eyes roll back. Pine, Leather and some fresh herds that make you hold on for dear life.

I hope you enjoyed this TEDTalk of mine.

ALSO! I highly recommend all of these! Get samples! You will NOT regret it!

[steviewashere]

It infuriates me so bad when people view a character like Eddie who lives in a trailer park with traits such as: unclean, rowdy, creepy, aggressive, etc.

Not everybody from a trailer park is like that. Yes, I can tell you with certainty, these people know how to fend for themselves. Yes, these people know how to cook. Yes, these people know how to take care of their hair and their bodies.

There's this, like, perpetual idea that Eddie uses only 3-in-1 because it's all that he can possibly afford. No, guys, I can tell you right now as somebody who came from an impoverished family, we could definitely afford shampoo, conditioner, and body soap all separately—these things are just not going to be top quality brands. I fucking hate the way people write Steve approaching him about it like all high and mighty about knowing how to properly take care of Eddie's hair, being thoroughly disgusted with the products Eddie uses, showing off that his products are 100% better than whatever Eddie's got in his shower. Like. Okay....if the 3-in-1 is really what Eddie is putting in his hair, then so be it? That's what works for him, that's what he can afford, that's all he has.

Or, like, when Eddie can't cook? That because he didn't have access to all these nice foods that Steve has: fresh fruits and vegetables, bigger containers of milk, non-canned goods, products in the freezer that aren't frozen meals; just based off of what he has, he seemingly can't cook. That he's not making real food just because it comes from a container and it's processed.

But like...my mom was on the WIC program when I was growing up. My favorite meals, which we called our struggle meals, were things like chili dogs on plain white bread because regular hot dog buns were too expensive. Or when packs of chicken were too expensive and pushed us over our limit, my mom would just pick up a pack of lil' smokies and fry them up and toss them in a box of generic store brand macaroni—just to make sure we had our protein. No, I'll tell you right now, we didn't get a ton of fresh produce; namely because that fresh produce was expensive by the pound. But I'd take home apples from the school cafeteria and use them for an after school snack with a bit of store brand peanut butter. And, like, sometimes the frozen meals were all we could get and so that's what we had—and we made fun with it, too, where we'd all pile up in the living room and we'd watch a movie from our local Blockbuster or Redbox machine and my mom would braid my hair while I had my Banquet's brownie. Kix was my favorite cereal growing up because it was, like, the only name brand cereal we could get with WIC.

Just because a food isn't fresh or name brand doesn't mean that it's not food. It's edible. And it tasted good. No, it wasn't always healthy, but we were trying our best. We were getting by. I loved when we'd go to the local food bank and find little containers of frozen peaches—or even better, when we'd find the holy grail within the last can of name brand Spaghetti-O's on the food bank's shelf. And we also had Meals on Wheels delivered to us, which cost us the tiniest bit, but we'd end up with house made salisbury steak with mashed potatoes or turkey with mashed potatoes and carrots—those were so easy to make after long days with extracurricular activities, or when we didn't have any other meal options.

Eddie can be appreciative of Steve's food, y'know. But having this constant idea that only Steve will know how to cook because he can use fresh ingredients or because the food Eddie had was gross and canned—I don't know, it rubs me the wrong way, I guess.

But like saying that Eddie smells just because he lives in a trailer is nuts. It's plainly crazy. If he doesn't have a washer/dryer unit, then maybe he knows how to do them manually or maybe he goes to a laundromat when he and Wayne find enough quarters in the couch. Or that he can't afford name brand hygiene products, so he just must stink. Or shaming him for using a cheap Axe cologne (because compared to something like Calvin Kleine, that's inexpensive) all because it's cheap.

I love a version of Eddie that knows how to fix things around the house because they couldn't afford plumbers or repairmen—my family was like that, too. You know how many times I've been able to fix something like a garbage disposal out of self-winging and spite? Or how many times I've unclogged a drain by using a handyman's guide or some YouTube tutorial? Yeah, Eddie probably does have these skills, and these skills are really useful.

Maybe he can't make top of the line meals, but he can make things. He can make hot food. That's important to him, hot food, I feel like. Programs like EBT/Food Stamps/TANF/WIC don't cover hot food items like the rotisserie chickens you may see at places like Costco—even though those would be so damn helpful for meal prep.

I think it's also just wrong and rude to make a pessimistic narrative about his clothing being older and used. Or hand me downs, god forbid. Those are well loved, well cherished things. He probably knows how to make a patch, how to stitch, he knows the best way to remove a stain from a beloved shirt. He probably is shopping at thrift stores for clothing pieces instead of constantly going to the mall for new things, and that's okay! You just have to get by like that sometimes! It's okay, too, if he has the same clothes as he did the year before in school—it's unreasonable to ask of a low poverty person to buy a whole new wardrobe just for the new year.

Parts of this fandom just completely dehumanize Eddie when it comes to him and Wayne being lower class people. They're trying their damn best to get by, that shouldn't be shameful. It shouldn't be shameful to live certain ways just because you can't afford the luxury of new and fresh and popular things. I think overconsumption in the modern age is bleeding into this fandom space and decimating the image of Eddie—this very real version of a person living in rural 1980s America—all because he isn't keeping up with things like Steve probably is; I often see the lifestyle Steve flaunts as praised and likable, while Eddie's lifestyle is mucky and disturbing and grotesque just because he's poor.

It's weird.

[sunlighthroughthe-ashes]

love resides in the commonplace — intimacy exists in the spaces of ordinary service: and paik sa-eon is the very embodiment of this kind of devotion — attention towards the minutiae of a relationship: the tiny acts of tenderness that can make or break a union.

the kind of devotion that says: "i'll wash these fruits for you so that it's safe for you to eat." "i'll lower the bed for you so you're comfortable while you sleep." "i'll take care of your everyday needs because that's exactly what i want to do — take care of you every single day."

there's a special kind of bittersweet longing leaking through sa-eon's eyes when heejoo begs him not to go — an inchoate ache as he cradles her hand to his face: almost as if his lips are anchoring themselves to her skin; reassuring his own self that she's safe, unharmed — still with him. still his to touch. still his to look after.

simple gestures are often how you measure the soul of a marriage — whether you're with someone who cares about the temperature of the water when he's washing your hair. whether you're with someone who'll dry it for you with painstaking carefulness.

as poet ilya kaminsky wrote: "soaping together — that is sacred to me / you can fuck anyone — but with whom can you sit in water?"

to sa-eon; heejoo is as inevitable as the weather — an endless force in his life. a forever presence: someone so threaded to the fibers of his being that he can't help but say: "tell me how to hate you: (because i'm physically incapable of looking at you with anything but love.)"

[trust-is-a-dangerous-thing]

141 Grocery Shopping Headcanons <3

Because I go grocery shopping tomorrow and I have thoughts about how the guys would do their grocery shopping. Also, I hate to say it, but they're all in the military + British (except Soap, who's Scottish)...there is absolutely no way these idiots know how to cook anything that isn't an MRE. They're eating takeout, microwave meals, and snacks on leave and their diets are fucked---they are not getting their daily vitamins and nutrients.

Price is one of those people that make a list and stick to it, grocery shopping with him is like some kind of military operation---you only go in the aisles you need to, you only grab what's on the list (in the exact brand that's on the list), there are no stops to look at the deli or the bakery or the sweets, you are in and out of the store in under an hour. Price attempts to eat healthy, but he's not willing to spend a ton of money on all the health-nut stuff (he thinks it's stupid), so he basically just tries to not buy the most unhealthy options of stuff he has which...well, he's doing better than Soap is, so that's something.

Ghost grew up poor so, as someone who also grew up poor, I'm telling you he buys generic brand EVERYTHING---if you so much as even LOOK at a name brand item while in his presence, he is glaring at you with an intensity that could kill flowers. He spends hours in the store only because he is comparing prices of everything, he is also keeping track of how much everything costs on a notepad, and he also has multiple coupons in his pockets---he never has a list but he does have a budget, and he never exceeds said budget, even if it's for something he really needs. As you can probably tell, he values cheap over healthy, so his diet is fucked.

Soap refuses to make a list out of sheer spite, since Price and Gaz always harp on him to have one---he swears up and down that he'll remember everything he needs to get but he never does, so he always ends up having to make like 3 separate trips to the store during the week because he forgot something. Soap also eats like he's a broke college student whose only kitchen appliance is a microwave, despite the fact that he makes plenty of money and has a full working kitchen---his diet is ramen, potato chips, banquet dinners (or whatever the UK equivalent is), takeout, and beer. His doctor is sobbing as we speak.

Gaz makes a list but, unlike Price, he's willing to make adjustments to said list while he shops and buy things that aren't on the list---he's never in a rush and he actually finds the process of grocery shopping soothing, so he generally spends a couple hours in the store just browsing. Gaz also tries to eat healthy (ish), so he buys those organic frozen meals that cost like $8 per meal and protein bars and those frozen pre-cut fruits and veggies. Don't get me wrong, he does eat his fair share of unhealthy stuff, but he at least attempts to balance it all out...whether he's successful or not is up to your discretion and also how bad of a week he's had.

[stinkyturd]

Your Fragrance

Pairing: Romeo Lucci/Reader

Comments: It's Romeo, so it's gonna be a little possessive and weird. If that makes you uncomfortable, this probably isn't your cup of tea. Also, I absolutely hate naming throwaway characters, but I did here to avoid confusion, haha. So, if for some reason you're second guessing if you're misremembering a canon side character, you're not. 🙂‍↕️

Working for Romeo could be exhausting.

The Sinostra vice-captain always had something for you. Be it helping out with casino security, sending out reminders for outstanding loans, or doing menial errands like fetching him various products he may need to keep his skin hydrated or his hair in mint condition. Sometimes he'd even message you at ungodly hours when you were tucked away, seconds from slumbering at your cathedral. 

Overall, you didn't mind. It's not like you HAD to do it. Darkwick hadn't been quite as needy with sending you out on inspector related errands, so you had the time, and you didn't mind Romeo's company. Sure, his personality is completely abrasive and an acquired taste, but underneath it all he had some redeeming qualities. And for some reason he chose you to hire as an assistant. You didn't get paid much. In fact, it was lower than minimum wage. You're pretty sure you could get a part-time job around the campus that would be far more fruitful with less work. 

And now that you were on consistent speaking terms, it was a lot easier to find ways to get under his skin. It was kind of fun pushing him to that level of irritation just before it all boils over. Oddly enough, a scrunched up scowl really highlighted his devastatingly pretty features. You're not sure you've seen anything quite like it on anyone else before. 

Right now, you are sitting next to him on the massive sectional sofa in the VIP room, listening to him rant about trivial anecdotes while you check his email for him. 

"I don't want to deal with these degenerates speaking to me any longer!" Romeo huffs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You need to establish a precedent in this place that no one should talk to me without pre-approved incentive!"

Your eyes remain locked on the laptop in front of you as you attempt to read over a document sent to you by one of the vice-captain's subordinates, while still acknowledging Romeo's ramblings. "I can give it a shot. What happened this time?"

"A fool from Frostheim came in this morning. That USP told me that the new cashmere divan I purchased for the lobby is tacky! What the fuck does he know about quality luxury...?! That buffoon probably washes his face with hand soap, if he does at all!"

You smirk a little at that, clumsily scrolling the page in front of you with just a trackpad. "Is he a regular?"

"Yes, it's that idiot that always sits at the table by the high limit slots! The one with those shitty, thick-framed, square glasses!" Romeo leans back into the sofa, folding his arms across his chest. 

"Oh...?" Your lips tug into a mischievous smirk. "I think I remember that guy. Dark hair, super clear skin? Has good taste in cologne?" The student he's referring to does actually have dark hair. You remember because it's not the first time Romeo has complained about him. The rest of the description you gave is entirely fabricated. 

You catch a glimpse of the vice-captain's reaction in your peripheral vision. If looks could kill.

Romeo narrows his fuchsia eyes at you. "Have you lost your mind?! Clear skin?" The vice-captain leans in close, jabbing a gloved finger to his face. "This! This is clear skin!"

"Oh, for real?" You don't look up as you suppress a shit-eating grin, tapping away at the keyboard in front of you. 

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, nitwit! I can't have my BB of an assistant prancing around thinking that some Frostheim pig's face even compares to mine!" Romeo removes the laptop from your lap, setting it on the low-profile table in front of you.

You flick your gaze over to his face that's less than a foot from yours. Placing a hand on your chin, you pretend to examine his skin. "Hmm... really? I don't see the difference." 

You did. No one's skin glows as much as the man in front of you.

Romeo clenches his jaw so tightly you're almost concerned he's going to grind down his perfect teeth. "You don't see the difference...?! Perhaps we should get your eyes checked! And you're supposed to be the one surveying the EITS?!"

"But you agree his cologne is pretty solid?" Your lips twitch as the vice-captain's face comically becomes more animated with each snarky comment you make. 

"That fool may as well be rolling around with a wet dog! Whatever bootleg fragrance he wears does not match his pH! How far away were you from that imbecile to draw that conclusion?!" Romeo shouts indignantly.

You're no longer able to keep up the act, your lips peeling into a full on grin as a giggle escapes you.

This only seems to irritate Romeo further. "And what's so funny?!"

"I was only teasing you. I've never been close enough to smell him. Definitely not close enough to see his pores."

"Y-You...!" Romeo's face flushes in a mixture of frustration and embarrassment. "For what purpose, fool?!"

"You look cute when you're all mad," You say like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Sorry, Boss. You make it too easy."

"Do you know how much my collagen cream costs? If you expedite the rate in which I obtain wrinkles, you will be my servant until the day you die to pay me back!" Romeo growls.

"How scary," You tease, tearing your gaze from the man shouting at such close proximity. If he stays like that any longer while you face him, you may actually start blushing. Reaching forward, you set the portable computer back in your lap.

"Fucking right, it's scary! I'll make sure your income is so low that you'll be taking residence in my private office," Romeo huffs, finally sitting back as he was before. 

You snort. "Are you going to make me stay in my underwear too, like you did with Kaito?" 

"You'll be lucky if you are even granted that amount of decency," Romeo spats. 

Heat crawls up your neck at the implication. 

"...Wow. Pervert." You're barely able to say it without your voice nervously cracking.

"Tch...! Don't flatter yourself," Romeo counters. A vibration, followed by a ringing sound emanates from his dress pants. The vice-captain stands, pulling his cell phone out. Before he answers it, he shoots you a glare. "You're in need of some serious TLC in order for that to be any concern of yours."

"Oh? That's okay, you're not my type anyway," You lie, as you return your attention to the email in front of you. 

"Excuse me...?!" Romeo flits his furious gaze from you then back to the phone. "This conversation isn't over! Just you wait…!" The Sinostra vice-captain drags a finger across his phone's screen, then brings it to his ear. As if the caller on the other end is physically present, Romeo relaxes his face with his tone before replying. "Hello...? Right, when…?" 

The vice-captain paces around the room mumbling vague replies to the mystery receiver. After a minute or so, he hangs up and stalks back in your direction. 

You pretend you don't notice him as you continue working, anticipating verbal outlash. Instead, you feel a weight sit alarmingly close to your side. Your hand stills on the track pad in front of you when Romeo wraps an arm around your backside. 

"(Y/N)~" The vice-captain speaks so close to your ear that involuntary chills run up your spine. 

You weren't that startled by the gesture. Romeo did this occasionally when he wanted something. Trying to act all sultry to fluster you to the point of accepting his request. That was further confirmed by the rare use of your actual name rather than an acronym disguising an insult.

Usually, you would do whatever he wanted anyway as long as it wasn't too out of your comfort zone. Any time that you'd decline he'd have a fit about it and ignore you for a while after. 

"Why do I get the feeling you're going to ask me to do something ridiculous?" You ask with a sigh. 

"Oh, it's nothing too crazy. But do you think you could get a permit and make a delivery for me outside campus, pretty girl? I know you have enough rapport with the Chancellor to do it by now," Romeo drawls, tucking stray hairs behind your ear. 

"What are you trying to get me to deliver? And where?" You ask, flicking your gaze to his suspiciously.

"It's not important, I will give you the address. All you have to do is drop it off in a mailbox. It's not too far from the station," Romeo explains coolly, his minty breath tickling your nose. 

"Hmm..." You hum contemplatively, turning your head back to the laptop. "I dunno... sounds kinda sus. I don't want to lose my honor student privileges, you know?" 

"...There is nothing sus about it! And you won't. Just say you want to make a delivery to a friend." The demanding impatience in Romeo's tone is already starting to rear its head as you continue to question him.

"I dunno. What's in it for me?" You persist nonchalantly. 

"Continued employment and my approval, obviously! What more could you want?" Romeo argues.

You weren't stupid. He was probably fully intending on sending you off with illegal substances. It would be easy to do it and not get caught, but it's not like you were gung-ho about making runs like that. And it's not like Romeo could do it himself with Sinostra's suspension. What could you request in return that he would be deterred from ever asking you again?

"I might consider it if you do something for me," You reply as another impish grin threatens to peel back. 

Romeo clicks his tongue impatiently. "Asking me for favors now? What could you possibly want?"

"Kiss me," You request, making a point to sound as deadpan as possible. 

The room becomes uncannily still for several moments once the words fall from your mouth.

You smirk, taking your time before you look back at Romeo to assess the damage. The Sinostra vice-captain is boring a hole through you with his eyebrows furrowed. You watch his smooth lips part marginally, as if something is just on the tip of his tongue. 

It's almost hilarious. The way that he just came onto you with the intention of coaxing you to do his bidding, but when the tables are turned he's at a loss for words. You let out a short laugh, deeming this to be your victory as you refocus your attention on the laptop in front of you yet again. "Looks like my hands are tied, Vice-Captain. Maybe you can blackmail Kaito into doing it."

Romeo clicks his tongue in annoyance. "Imbecile, did I say no?"

Well, you can't say you were expecting that. 

You laugh awkwardly, looking at him like he just lost his mind. "What, you're going to agree just like that?"

Romeo nods. "If you wash your face and do a proper skin care routine beforehand. And make sure your mouth is entirely scrubbed clean, if I taste anything foul on your lips, so help me god...!"

"Woah, woah, woah...! I didn't say anything about the lips," You reply, your voice slightly panicked. "Also, you gotta kiss my face as is. It's part of the stipulation. And I haven't washed it in, like, five days. I probably got blackheads galore. You seriously wanna go through with that?"

You had washed your face and put on products previously recommended to you by Romeo this morning. The more affordable ones, anyway. Not that he needed to know that. 

Romeo squints his eyes as he closes in on you, stopping just inches from your face. "You're lying. Why? I don't have time for these games."

How did he immediately call on your bluff?

When you struggle to formulate an excuse, Romeo leans forward, cupping his gloved hand on your chin. You don't have time to react before he presses his plush lips against your cheek. The vice-captain stays that way for a second too long, the kiss past the point of being chaste. When Romeo pulls back, he's quirking a perfectly groomed eyebrow at you. 

"I'd recognize that scent anywhere. Did you put on Tatcha cream this morning?"

You can feel heat gather at the apples of your cheeks as you gawk at him wordlessly. 

"I suppose you're not entirely hopeless after all." Romeo smirks approvingly as he gives you the backhanded compliment. 

"Shit," You mutter, sighing in defeat.

"Looks like you will be my delivery girl. Don't fuck it up, BB," Romeo says derisively, before getting to his feet and walking off to retrieve the parcel. 

--

Days pass after you begrudgingly follow through with the delivery without anything particularly eventful happening. Currently, you're seated at a bench in the courtyard just outside of campus helping Kaito prepare for an upcoming test in a class you both had. Your phone has been vibrating in your pocket for a hot minute, but you're so determined with focusing on helping Kaito, you ignore it for the time being.

"Jesus effing Christ! I don't get this shit at all, I'm totally gonna bomb this," Kaito whines. The Frostheim student has his fingers wound in his hair as if he's ready to yank it out in clumps. 

"If you hold that attitude the entire time, you just might. A lot of this test is going to be memorization. If anything, I can whip up some flash cards really quick for you," You offer, shooting him a sympathetic glance. 

"Hah... y-you'd really do that? You're seriously an angel." Kaito's voice cracks and he dramatically begins to sprout tears from the corners of his eyes. 

"Pffft, it's nothing. If anything, I still owe you for helping me out so much when I first got here." You pull out a stack of blank index cards from your messenger bag and peer over at the highlighted material in the notepad settled in Kaito's lap. 

Picking up a pen, you begin scribbling the most important bits on the cards that you presume will be on the test. It takes you around ten minutes, but when you finish you hand the stack over to the Frostheim student. 

"Just study it before bed for at least twenty minutes every night until the exam. That's what I always do when I don't retain enough," You remark with a reassuring smile. "Easy peasy."

"T-Thanks so much, (Y/N)." Kaito looks at you with a melting expression, his lower lip puckered into a pout. "I'll get a permit and take you out to my favorite ramen place if I pass this thing, for real."

"Oh? I'll hold you to that," You quip, smirking at him.

Kaito holds out his pinky, nodding fervently. "Pinky swear! It'll be super fun."

You latch your own finger with his. "I bet. I've been craving those marinated eggs lately. It's like you read my mind. Maybe we could bring Lucas, too?"

"Uh... m-maybe. Or it could be..." Kaito giggles nervously, scratching his blonde mop. "Like a d-d-date...?"

"A date...?" You tilt your head, eyeing your friend curiously. 

Before Kaito can present his case, a black gloved hand swats his out of yours in the blink of an eye. 

"A date?! Don't make me laugh, leech! If you don't pay EPB you will be lucky to be still breathing come the day of your exams!"

"GYAAAAH...!" Kaito stumbles back from his seat, landing butt first on the stone ground. "W-What the hell are y-you doing here...?! And how long were you listening?!"

Romeo places a hand on his lip, glowering at Kaito with disdain. "Long enough." The vice-captain briskly snaps his head in your direction. "And just how long did you think you would continue getting away with ignoring me, BB? While fraternizing with this fool who owes me money? You want to take permanent residence in my private office that badly?"

You blink at Romeo owlishly. "Huh? Ignoring you? Since when?" Then it dawns on you. Your phone was vibrating in your pocket like crazy earlier. 

"Don't play dumb! I know your phone is on you!" Romeo yells, jabbing an accusing finger in your direction.

You snort at that. "How do you know that? Maybe I left it at my dorm."

"Are you so daft that you think I'd let my assistant frolic around OTG?"

You avert your gaze upwards, pondering what the acronym could possibly mean. "...Alright, you lost me. OTG?"

"Off. The. Grid...!" Romeo retorts, enunciating each word with biting emphasis. 

You stare at his sour face blankly for a few seconds as you belatedly digest the implication. Scratching your cheek, you quirk an eyebrow at him. "Don't tell me you're tracking me, Boss?"

"Of course I am!" Romeo admits shamelessly. "And don't even think about finding the application and removing it! I made sure that your access is restricted from such tampering!"

You sigh, not particularly perturbed or surprised by the revelation. "You're a real weirdo, you know that? If this were a legitimate job with human resources I could totally report you if I wanted."

"S-Since when did you start working for this nut job?!" Kaito asks, now scrambling to his feet. "Jesus Christ, just work at the campus!"

Romeo glares daggers at the blonde. "Unless you'd like to spend the night being hung up by your toes, I suggest you make yourself scarce! And I expect a money order by 12pm sharp tomorrow, or I will be making an appearance at your dormitory."

"Urk...! F-Fine...!" Kaito hastily grabs his messenger bag from the bench. "I'll see you later (Y/N)! Text me...!" The blonde flicks a wary glance in Romeo's direction before scampering off.

"Now that the fool has left, you are coming with me, BB! I have a job for you. And turn your audio notifications on for my number, FFS!" Romeo orders.

You roll your eyes before getting to your feet. "Fine, fine, I hear ya." 

--

After announcing that Romeo had your location tracked, you swore that you had begun to notice that he was making more frequent appearances where you didn't usually see him. When you went to eat at the weird diner Ren works at with Lucas, Romeo showed up in the middle of your meal, requesting you return to Sinostra as soon as possible. A day later you saw him on the main campus in the second year wing of the building to fetch you after class. Another day, you went to help Alan with some paperwork and the Sinostra vice-captain was there, too. Romeo had claimed that he was just there to speak with Leo, but then insisted that you come with him once you had finished up, anyway. 

It's not like you had a set schedule to work. Sometimes you wouldn't help him for a day or two in the event that Darkwick needed something that took priority. Who knows? Maybe it really was all a coincidence. 

You sat in the VIP room again, a few of Romeo's goons were talking amongst themselves across the room, while you were waiting for whatever task the vice-captain had planned for you that evening. Romeo had texted you earlier in the day, and he had made it seem as if it were something urgent. 

Eventually, the double doors burst open and Romeo made a beeline for you. 

You lift your eyes to meet the Sinostra vice-captain's as he approaches, stopping to a halt right in front of you. “Heya, Boss,” You smirk up at him. “What's good?”

“(Y/N),” Romeo starts, his voice as sweet as molasses. The vice-captain is looking down at you with a jovial smile. ”Just In time~”

“Ugh…” Your expression falters to a tired one in an instant. Standing up, you make an attempt to slide out from in front of him. “Just realized, Cornelius asked me to do some stuff at Frostheim, so if you'll excuse me–”

Romeo holds your waist firmly in place, narrowing his eyes sharply at you. “The Chancellor sent you no such notification. I should know.”

“C'mon now you're hacking into my phone to read my messages?” You ask in disbelief, irritation rising in your voice. “I'm starting to think you're in love with me.” 

“Idiot! Now you're just blowing smoke up your ass! I have my reasons,” Romeo counters vaguely. The vice-captain is close enough that you can smell every fragrant product he had on today.

You click your tongue, sitting back down with your arms folded over your chest. Debating with Romeo was like talking to a brick wall, so you weren't about to waste your breath. “Fine, what do you need?”

Romeo turns his head to the group of his lackeys behind him. “Fools! You better have that box with you.”

“Sorry, right here, Boss!” One of the students hurried over to Romeo's side, handing said box over to him. 

Romeo takes it, then tosses it in your lap. It's not that heavy and it has a white lid. “Here! This will be my gift to you, should you do what I ask.”

You eye him skeptically, to which he nods. Despite the usage of the word gift, knowing him, there was a pretty big catch. Hesitantly, you reach out and lift the lid in front of you. 

The scarlet fabric immediately catches your eye. Silk? 

You lift the item out of its box, extending the piece of clothing enough to where you can really judge what you're looking at. It looks to be some type of halter neck evening gown. Formal, yet not too formal. The way the fabric feels against your fingertips tells you that this is worth several months' pay at least. Just beneath the dress is a set of accenting jewelry at the bottom of the box. You don't know enough about that kind of thing to even begin to guess it's worth.

“...What the hell is this?” You ask, completely bewildered. 

“A dress, obviously. Do you have eyes?” Romeo snaps.

“Okay, but why?”

Romeo exhales, steeling himself like he's about to make a sales pitch. “...Tonight I have a guest. A former colleague of mine, for lack of a better word. I have a list of tables I need you to lead him to and goad him into playing. The fool likes to bid high.”

“And I gotta wear this to do it?” You prod, creasing your eyebrows. 

“That GFNS has a type and if I work my magic, you will fit that,” Romeo explains, placing a hand on his hip.

“You can't seriously expect me to flirt with some rando. And what, are you gonna cheat him out of money? I thought you were against that!” You argue. 

Romeo clicks his tongue disapprovingly. “You don't need to seduce him, just act as you normally do. Pretend you recognize him. The idiot has a meager amount of fame in the outside world, so it won't be odd. As for cheating him– the piece of shit deserves it. He did the same to me and still believes I am unaware. It's a wonder I haven't killed him already.”

You pause, taking a moment to process everything. “How the hell am I supposed to convince him to follow me around?”

“Start by offering him a drink, and tell him you're my cousin. I will provide you with a list of what to do from there. The majority of men are simple meatheads,” Romeo states matter-of-factly. “Throw a pretty woman in front of them and they will fold like a deck of cards.” 

You roll your eyes. “So now I'm pretty? What happened to ‘basic bitch’?” 

“...You're not repulsive,” Romeo admits, averting his gaze. 

“Such a charmer,” You say sarcastically.

“So, will you do it?”

It didn't sound like the most fun task in the world, but if you weren't pressured into behaving a certain way, it really wouldn't be so bad. Plus, you kind of want to have Romeo doll you up. The vice-captain has referenced it enough in passing, but had yet to follow through.

“I really don't have to hit on him?” You reiterate. 

“Be friendly, that's it,” Romeo insists. 

“Do I get another kiss for this?” You joke, wiggling your eyebrows.

Romeo's flicks his gaze over you fully, as if he's genuinely considering your question. “...Ask me again when you clean up.”

You nearly choke on air at his nonchalant reply.

“Joke! That was a joke!” You insist with a nervous laugh, waving your hands wildly in protest. “My next kiss, face or otherwise, will be reserved for my future partner!”

Romeo's lips pull slightly downward and his expression wavers like he has more commentary to throw back at you. Instead, the vice-captain pushes out an exasperated sigh as he turns on his heel and waves you off dismissively. “Go and put that on. Don't keep me waiting.” 

“Okie dokie. You got it, Boss.”

When Romeo handed you a mirror after he applied makeup on you and styled your hair, you almost didn't recognize yourself. It's not as if you hadn't dressed up before, but it never came out quite this well. As it turns out, the vice-captain wasn't all talk with his stylistic choices. 

You were thoroughly impressed. Romeo had also brought shoes to you before he had gotten started on your makeup, that matched the dress and accessories. Everything fit perfectly, too. Which, you did wonder how that was possible without Romeo somehow invading your privacy again. You didn't bother touching on that subject. 

“Woah, you really know your stuff,” You compliment Romeo, as you admire the rouge lip color he had applied to your face. It complimented the dress perfectly. 

“I am offended that you ever doubted me,” Romeo retorts. He's sitting on a stool in front of you and the couch in the VIP lounge. “I have a feeling this will go according to plan. Just look over your notes beforehand, got it?” 

You nod, lowering the mirror onto the table in front of you. “By the way, is this guy really going to make up what it cost to get me this stuff? This looks crazy expensive.”

“Of course,” Romeo insists, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. “You think I intend to support a charity case? As long as you do what I say, this will be a miniscule dent in the return.”

“That's good at least. I almost started to feel bad.” You stand up, with the intention of getting the ball rolling. 

“Hold on,” Romeo stands with you, pulling a golden vial out of the pouch of makeup that rests on the table. The vice-captain opens it, a strong, but inviting fragrance permeates your immediate surroundings. Leaning in close, Romeo dabs some of the liquid from the wand that's attached to the lid onto your neck. 

“Oh, that smells nice…” You murmur, pretending like the close proximity of your gorgeous tyrant of a boss isn't making your heart beat rapidly. 

“As it should. It's of high quality.” Romeo brings a pale hand to your neck, spreading the oil-like perfume across the expanse of your neck gently with his fingertips. 

The Sinostra vice-captain's expression is completely unreadable at the moment. And for reasons unbeknownst to you– you struggle to take your eyes off of him. Maybe it's because he looks more peaceful than usual? If you had to guess, this kind of thing might be fun for him. 

“Thank you,” You say impulsively, beaming at him. 

Romeo removes his fingers from your neck, flitting his gaze to meet yours. His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion. “What are you thanking me for?” 

“I dunno, this is kind of fun. I think it's better than you making me go on a drug deal,” You tease. 

“I never admitted to making you do anything of the sort,” Romeo counters. 

“Never admitted,” You emphasize with a coy smirk. “Even if you're doing this for your own agenda, I still appreciate your creative efforts. So, thanks.”

Romeo stares at you with an indiscernible  expression for a few beats, his face alarmingly close to yours. It feels strange. Since when was he so comfortable being this close without reason? Especially when he's not visibly pissed about something.

“...Thank me by doing your job correctly,” He finally says. 

Romeo increases the distance between the two of you, placing the now closed vial of perfume back where he got it. “Now scram. I have things to do.”

It feels like you can finally breathe. What is this strange feeling?

“Yeah, sure thing…”

The guest Romeo had told you to tag along with was turning out to be a seemingly decent guy. He had dark hair and was handsome enough, but compared to the ghouls at Darkwick, he didn't particularly stand out. Based on the information Romeo wrote down for you, he is well known on social media for creating and promoting a pretty successful clothing line. His actual name was lost on you, but Romeo just told you to refer to him as Zomo. You weren't sure if it was a public nickname for him, or one given to him by the vice-captain himself. 

Everything Romeo had told you to do had seemingly worked. The influencer initially had been confused by you approaching him, until you labeled yourself as Romeo's close cousin. From there it was relatively easy to converse with him. You showed him around and you didn't have to try very hard to get him to participate at the table games. The first table the list told you to take him to was a game of roulette. And you couldn't help but notice a familiar red-headed captain seated at the gaming table. 

You knew basic casino etiquette, courtesy of Romeo. Since you didn't intend on playing, you observed from behind Zomo's chair. 

“Say… don't I know ya from somewhere, Kitty?”

You glance over at Taiga. He's leaning on the table in a languid posture, his head resting on his fist. The Sinostra Captain is smirking at you impishly. 

“Yeah. Don't you remember? It's me, John Titor,” You joke, though you intentionally keep your expression serious for the bit. 

“...That what it was?” The smile never leaves Taiga's face as he stares at you, likely trying to figure out if it's actually the truth. After a long pause, he starts laughing. “...Gyahaha! Ya don't seem like a John. Feel like ya gotta have a beard for that one!”

Romeo's guest looks between the two of you skeptically. You wonder if he knows Taiga already. If not, you could only imagine the confusion, especially considering you introduced yourself with your real name. 

“I'll just call ya Johnny for now, how ‘bout it?” Taiga holds a fist out to you, like he intends to hand you something. Curious, you reach your palm out to him. 

Without warning, Taiga slaps several orange chips directly into your hand. A familiar tingling sensation lingers on your palm at the contact. You blink, meeting Taiga's gaze dubiously.

Was it part of Romeo's plan for Taiga to use his stigma, then? Guess it only makes sense if they're trying to screw this guy.

Taiga grins at you wolfishly for a moment before pulling back and leaning onto the table again. “Get me a drink will ya? Think I'm in the mood for an Old Fashioned.”

“...Sure,” You say. Looking down at the Zomo guy, you speak up again. “Want anything?”

“Same thing, thanks,” He replies.

Hours went by of spectating as Romeo's guest fails each and every one of the games he participates in. A constant throughout the evening was Taiga making an appearance at every table that you influenced Zomo to play at. If you had any doubt that Romeo and the Sinostra Captain had collaborated in the scheme together, that was long gone. 

Throughout it all, Zomo continued requesting drinks, and you retrieved them every time he asked. He was either so trashed that he didn't realize how much money he lost, or he just didn't care. By the time you reached the finale of the last game on your list, Zomo was completely out of chips. 

“Damn… lost again, eh? That's embarrassing.” Romeo's guest lethargically scratches his head at the Baccarat table. The rest of the players had already made themselves scarce, leaving the two of you alone for the moment. Aside from the dealer who was busying himself in idle chatter with another casino employee.

“Oof, damn!” You say, doing your best to feign shock for the umpteenth time. “That sucks, buddy. Maybe next time?”

“Buddy…?” Zomo repeats, his brow creased. You hear him curse under his breath. And only seconds after that, you feel a hand grip your wrist and yank you forward. 

“Woah…!” You trip over your feet and nearly butt heads with the man seated at the table. Zomo stretches a hand out, stilling your shoulder in time with his free hand. 

“Here I thought you were gonna cozy up with me for the night. Turns out you're just a fuckin’ tease, eh?”

Oops, looks like you made the wrong dialogue choice. Creeper alert!

You attempt to yank your hand back, but the man's grip is firm. Zomo's face is just inches from yours, and his breath reeks of brown liquor. Taking a deep breath, you narrow your eyes at him. “Let me go, fuck face.”

“Don't think I'm gonna do that,” He says, his voice slurring over his words.

“Dude, seriously!” You growl, moving your other hand forward to attempt to peel the man's fingers off. 

The sound of a gun bolt sliding back and locking into place sounds from your right. 

You glance up. The Sinostra vice-captain is training a rifle less than a foot from the man's head. Your breath catches in your throat as you watch his finger linger dangerously close to the trigger. “W-Wait Romeo, don't–”

“Get the fuck out,” Romeo seethes, his words come out far more venomous than you ever thought possible. “Unless you'd like me to contact Darkwick's medical facility to relay details for your death certificate.”

“W-Woah, chill man…! I w-wasn't gonna do anything,” Zomo sputters out as he releases your wrist to hold his hands up in surrender. 

“Not only are you a thieving weasel, you're lying through your teeth,” Romeo balances the butt of the rifle against his shoulder, using his free hand to wave over a member of security. “Escort this BFL out.”

The security member quickly makes his way over to grab Zomo's shoulder and carries out Romeo's orders. The vice-captain's old acquaintance doesn't make a fuss as he's led towards the door. If he did, you may actually think he's insane. You wouldn't put it past Romeo to actually pull the trigger. The Sinostra vice-captain had shot at Ritsu before, after all. 

Romeo lowers his gun once Zomo's out of sight, and turns his head to look at you, his gaze cold. “VIP room, now.”

“Uh, sure.”

You follow Romeo back to the room you can never seem to stay out of nowadays. The vice-captain says nothing the entire walk there. It was a little unsettling not hearing him rant angrily about one thing or another. You weren't sure what to expect when you watched Romeo close the massive double doors behind the two of you. A distinct clicking noise makes you double take in his direction. 

Did he just lock the door?

A brief surveillance of the room tells you that you're the only two people inside. 

“Sit,” Romeo demands, waving in the general direction of the sofa. The vice-captain doesn't wait for you to reply before he stalks off towards the back of the room with his rifle, presumably to stow it away. 

You make your way over to the sofa, plopping down. Deciding it's been weirdly awkward for long enough, you speak up. “You're being quiet. Are you mad?”

You hear something click shut from behind you, and a few moments later Romeo walks back into view. The vice-captain makes his way over to you, taking a seat relatively close to you. He looks at you with a hard gaze.

“Would it kill you to take my word and just follow the script I gave you, moron?” Romeo finally reprimands. Though, he sounds almost nice compared to how he usually berates.

“How the hell was I supposed to know that ‘buddy’ would set that weirdo off?” You argue. “You really know some odd people.”

“...You should be grateful I was using the EITS to watch over you,” Romeo spats, his arms folded over his chest. 

“It's okay, I would have karate chopped him,” You insist, holding your arms out in a playful representation of what you imagine a proper karate pose would look like. 

“Don't make me laugh,” Romeo starts, though the agitation in his tone tells you he's not actually in a laughing kind of mood. “You couldn't even peel that pig's fingers off of you!”

You pivot your body to face him, leaning your cheek on the back of the couch. “You worried about little old me?”

“Worried…?” Romeo repeats, his intense gaze burning a hole through you. “The only one who should be worried is that weasel. So long as you are in my LOS, no one will touch you.”

You feel your cheeks burn at Romeo's words. “Uhm… line of sight?”

“Obviously.”

“Geez. Can’t tell if you sound delusional, or romantic,” You mutter, averting your gaze to a random spot on the couch. 

Romeo scoffs. “I said it exactly as I meant it. Attributing further sentiment is a waste of time.”

You laugh a bit, in spite of yourself. “Yeah, don't I know it. I'm getting ahead of myself, sorry Boss.”

“You should be. Now make up for it by canceling your extracurricular plans this week to work for me.” Romeo's lips peel into a devilish grin as he makes the absurd request. 

“That hardly seems like a fair shake,” You say with a snort. “What are you gonna do when I'm not around one day?”

Romeo's expression slips into a puzzled one. “What do you mean?”

“Well, one day I'm gonna return home if I break my curse. I doubt Darwick intends on giving me permanent residence here. I'll have to help you find someone to replace me when that happens,” You explain, flashing him a bittersweet smile. “You forget?”

Romeo frowns, eyeing you dubiously. “I don't plan on forking my assistant over so easily.”

“I didn't realize that you had any real say in it,” You tease. “Are you going to convince Hyde that I will be a valuable asset for the foreseeable future?”

“If that's what it comes to. That DOF owes me anyhow, always nagging at the most inconvenient of times!” Romeo pauses, holding your gaze. “...Don't tell me you actually have been looking forward to going back to your mundane life?”

Did you? 

Maybe in some ways. Though, Darkwick and the people in it have become your second home. Initially it wasn't a choice, but for the moment you wouldn't trade it away. Not yet. 

“...There are things I miss. People,” You admit, doing your best not to sound like a sad sack. 

“Like who?” Romeo persists, the frustrated look on his face not budging.

“Family and friends,” You reply vaguely. “I miss the normalcy sometimes. The routine, being able to put time into things that aren't important, and going out when I want with whoever.”

Romeo clicks his tongue irritably. “...What a stupid sentiment. You can basically have all that here. Why not just stay here and visit there?”

You snicker at his persistence. This might be the most interest that the Sinostra vice-captain ever showed in how you feel. Though, the bar is still low considering he's using that information to try and manipulate your actions.

“Why not just visit me if I can't stay here?” You counter. 

“I have far more important things to do.” 

You sigh, feigning a wistful expression. “Well, that's alright. I guess I'll just invite Kaito over.”

“What…?” Romeo sits forward, his fuchsia eyes glaring daggers at you. “You intend to let that blubbering fool into your home alone?!”

“Sure, why not?” You ask, your lips curling into a coy smirk.

“That leech still owes me money! If he's around you with that much freedom the hormonal fool will spend my cash impulsively,” Romeo explains.

“Oh, right…” You mumble, wearing a pensive expression. “...Then I guess Alan could visit.”

“That behemoth will cause a mess bumbling around in your dinky home,” Romeo argues.

“Hm… Towa, surely.”

“Have you lost your mind? Do you have flood insurance?!”

“Okay, Boss. Tell me– who is suitable for me to invite into my home?” You ask, stifling a laugh. 

“No one,” Romeo answers with conviction. “So stop considering it, BB.”

You sigh. “You know this ongoing territorial Boss bit is totally gonna scare away any potential love interests for me in the future.” 

“Good,” Romeo remarks impassively, narrowing his eyes at you. “Let there be no other distractions.”

“That's totally not fair. Unless you're planning on doing the charity work of being my boyfriend, I think I'll pass,” You retort, puffing your cheeks. “As a hopeless romantic, there's some things I won't sacrifice.”

“I will do it,” Romeo declares pointedly. 

Your eyes widen and you lift your head from the back cushion of the couch, gawking in disbelief. “...What?”

The vice-captain's expression is serious. Romeo's words are not to be taken lightly. 

“I said I'll do it, idiot,” Romeo insists. “But I will write up a list of guidelines you must follow consistently in regards to hygiene and skin care routines. And for outings together you will not give me any push back when I select your outfits, or how I choose to style your hair. And you must be prompt when I invite you out, no excuses.”

You gape at him in shock. “...You're serious?”

“Does it seem like I'm joking, nitwit?” Romeo snaps. 

“Okay… what about, uh…” Your cheeks turn bright red, you can just feel it. “Intimacy? Physical touch? Is that really something you'd be open to…?”

“So long as you're not filthy, I will accomodate,” Romeo answers, like it's the simplest question in the world. 

“Er… But is that something you want or just something you'd be willing to do just to keep me here?” You prod, brows tented. 

Romeo gives you a prickly stare. “Obviously, my intention is to keep you here.”

Ouch. 

There's a couple ways you could interpret that, if you think hard enough about it. But since it wasn't the answer you were looking for, it was difficult to not take personal. You weren't particularly interested in trading intimacy with someone who just wanted you around for business purposes. Even if it seemed like it could be fun, it would inevitably be a disaster in the long run. But it was Romeo, what did you expect?

Shifting your gaze off to the side, you speak in a near whisper “...I'm sorry, that's not really something I'm interested in. I'm gonna have to pass on this one. I like you and all, but I think this is seriously gonna blow if I get attached to you romantically, ya know?”

Romeo stares at you pensively. Even as you shoot up from your seat seconds later. 

“I'm gonna head home now!” You announce, somehow managing to keep your voice steady. “You can call me whenever you need me in the morning though, since there's no classes tomorrow.”

Just as you wave Romeo off and turn heel, an arm snakes around your waist, pulling you backwards.

“W-Woah…!”

In the blink of an eye, you're sitting back on the couch, with your thighs overlapping Romeo's. The Sinostra vice-captain is gripping one of your wrists and his left arm is looped around your backside.

You stare up at him in surprise, and he's glaring daggers back at you. His pretty lips pressed into a thin line. 

“I cannot believe you have the audacity to reject me,” Romeo says, his jaw clenched as if he's struggling to maintain his composure. 

“Hey, reject?” You echo, your eyes wide like saucers. “T-That's not my intention.”

The vice-captain's eye twitches in vexation. “Not your intention? How else could I possibly interpret that?! Do you have any idea how lucky you should feel that the thought even crossed my mind, THD?”

“I do feel lucky,” You argue, your brow creasing. “I-I just don't think the way we feel about each other is the same.”

“If that's the case or not, what difference does it make? There is no one better suited for you, I can assure you that,” Romeo asserts. 

Heat rises to your cheeks at the bold statement. You open your mouth, but find yourself grappling with your brain and heart to the point where nothing slips out. 

“Is there someone else? Is that what this is about? One of the fools you rattled off earlier? Do tell me their name,” Romeo rants. Despite the vice-captain's voice not being as elevated as it usually is, his expression isn't any less venomous. “If you try to weasel your way out of it, I will find out eventually.”

“No…!” You nearly shout in disbelief. “C'mon, you're being completely unreasonable! How would there be? I'm with you during most of my free time!”

Romeo lifts a skeptical eyebrow. “On four separate occasions this week, you were spending time with other ghouls. And I've seen the way those Frostheim fools look at you!”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “Seriously, Romeo it's not like that…!”

“Don't! Don't call me that…!” The vice-captain tears his gaze from yours, his eyes settling somewhere on your lap. “...Take some responsibility, BB! You're the one that started this shit with that idiotic kiss nonsense!”

Huh…?

“That's what this is about…?” You ask, your jaw slack as you stare at Romeo's conflicted expression.

As far as you could tell, the Sinostra vice-captain had been completely flippant about the interaction. Was that really the catalyst for his possessive behavior? Your attempt to mess with him?

“It infuriates me,” Romeo starts, his posture tense. “You had remnants of sweat on your face, and you looked as if you just rolled out of bed, putting no thought into your appearance whatsoever. Other than that moisturizer, there was no fragrance lingering on you.”

You give Romeo a tired look, wondering where he could possibly be going with this. 

“...It infuriates me that I didn't hate it,” Romeo admits, his grip on your wrist tightening marginally as the confession leaves his mouth.

Oh…

“...You mean you like the way my natural skin smells?” You ask, eyeing the vice-captain curiously. 

“Must I repeat myself in another language, fool?” Romeo snaps, his steely eyes darting up at you. 

It wasn't that unusual to like the smell of someone's natural oils. But you suppose for someone as finicky about scents and hygiene as Romeo could be, it was probably pretty important to him. 

A giggle slips past your lips involuntarily.

“And what about this is so funny…?!” Romeo snaps. 

You smile at him, finding the beautiful ghoul in front of you particularly endearing right now. “That's just the best compliment I think I may ever receive from you. And it's super common. Science might say that it means you're attracted to my pheromones. You're so cute.”

“Cute?” Romeo repeats, looking at you like you've lost your mind. “I have been reduced to falling prey to primitive behavior that does nothing to serve me! There's nothing ‘cute’ about this, FFS!”

So, Romeo likes your smell so much that it's been making him act like a possessive basket case all week? That explanation didn't entirely track.

“Do you like me, Boss?” You ask, sporting a lopsided smile. 

“Like? Who fucking knows,” Romeo grumbles, leaning back into the couch as his grip falls from your wrist. 

“Well…” You look down at your legs that were still on top of his. “I gotta say, I don't think I would have ever thought you'd let me be on you like this. You want me to move?”

Romeo doesn't give you a verbal reply, but the arm around your waist stiffens. 

“No, then?” You prod.

“You're not leaving. Not like that. Not now,” Romeo decides. The vice-captain looks at you like he's daring you to go against his orders.

“I won't go if you don't want me to,” You reassure.

Romeo must believe you because his arm relaxes slightly. 

“...Hey,” You start. “If you're not sure how you feel, can I try something? Maybe it will help you determine your feelings. And then we can discuss the whole dating thing again.”

“...Try what?” Romeo asks, raising an eyebrow. 

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for a potential adverse reaction. “Okay, here me out. And feel free to throw me off for my brazen stupidity if you're against it…”

“Spit it out, idiot.” 

“Okay, okay. Can I kiss you…?” You blurt out, wincing preemptively.

Romeo stares at you with an unreadable gaze, and your stomach flips with anticipation.

“...Fine.”

“Oh, for real?” 

“Do it before I change my mind, BB,” Romeo demands. 

“Oh, yes. Of course. So, uh… like before?” You meant the cheek kiss. Hopefully the vice-captain would catch on to save you the embarrassment of explaining.

Romeo clicks his tongue. “Do I have to hold your hand through everything? Just do it.”

Okay, cheek kiss to be safe. That shouldn't be too intimidating. You've kissed your friends and family members cheeks, nothing but a cinch!

You sit up and inch your face closer towards Romeo's. It doesn't help your nerves that he's staring at you expectantly. Has this guy ever been on the receiving end of a kiss before? Couldn't he at least close his staggeringly pretty eyes so your heart would stop pounding against your chest like a jackhammer?

Knowing how bothered Romeo would be if you chickened out now helps you regain your composure. You shut your eyes and close the distance, pressing your lips against his devastatingly plush cheek. After an appropriate length of time, you pull back and assess the damage. 

Romeo shoots you an unimpressed look. “What? That's it?”

You twiddle your thumbs nervously, an awkward laugh spilling from your mouth. “Uh… what, you want me to do it again?”

“Yes! Would you like me to write it in crayon?” Romeo snaps, the faintest hint of pink dusting his cheeks. 

“Okay, okay!” You impulsively reach for Romeo's gloved hand, intertwining your fingers with his. 

The vice-captain shows no sign of protest at the gesture, so you proceed with the second kiss, this time landing your lips closer to his temple. 

By the time you pull back, Romeo looks nothing short of impatient. “Are you so caught up in the role you played earlier that you forgot we aren't actually related? Is this supposed to entice me?”

You puff your cheeks, your face burning from his criticism. “You're such a turd! You really want me to kiss you for real?”

That's the only conclusion you could draw from the vice-captain's words. If your lips were even slightly chapped, or breath even a little off there would surely be hell to pay. You don't recall eating anything sinister. 

You don't have time to make any further advances, nor does he grant you the courtesy of a verbal reply. The arm around your waist effortlessly draws you closer, to where you're sitting fully on the vice-captain's lap. Romeo pulls his hand from your grip, drawing it towards your shoulder. 

You nearly gasp when you feel the wandering hand ghost over the expanse of your collar bone. “What are you–” 

“Quiet,” Romeo interjects softly. His fuchsia eyes rake over you in admiration as his fingertips travel upwards towards your neck. You feel his thumb gently brush against the length of your throat, eventually tickling your jawline. 

“Exactly as I pictured it,” Romeo murmurs vaguely. “...Don't wear this around anyone else.”

“...W-Well, to be fair I was already seen in this by countless people,” You argue, struggling to hold his gaze. If someone would have told you just hours before that the Sinostra vice-captain would be leering so suggestively at you right now, you'd surely laugh in their face. 

Just what did you do to catch the attention of the most self-assured and vain man you'd ever met in your life?

“A severe lapse in judgment on my part. Don't anticipate it happening again,” Romeo retorts bitterly. 

Without warning, the Sinostra vice-captain cups his hand against your neck and pulls you forward. Your eyes flutter shut unconsciously and the warmth of his lips reach yours. 

In spite of the intense nervousness you felt just moments prior, the kiss has you melting on impact. Maybe it's the way his touch is so characteristically deliberate, yet delicate at the same time. You knew his lips were soft, it's obvious at just a glance. But it was clear to you now that having them pressed against your own is far more satisfying than you could have ever imagined. 

You wrap your arms around Romeo's neck in your mindless search for a closer touch. A passing insecure thought that you're doing too much materializes, but is quickly quelled when you feel his lips part and reconnect with yours again. You feel a hand grip the side of your hip, his digits going in for a tight squeeze. Involuntarily, you whimper against Romeo's mouth.

The Sinostra vice-captain pulls back from the kiss, his face beautifully flushed. His right thumb strokes the contour of your jaw languidly as he surveys you with half-lidded eyes. “I've made up my mind.”

You feel completely malleable under his deceptively soft gaze. Drawing your arms back ever so slightly, you press him further. “...And?”

Romeo regards you voraciously, his lips curling into a smirk. “You're mine, (Y/N). It would be in your best interest to remember that.”

[cheonstapes]

toji fushiguro stars in... 'PEACH GUMMY CANDY' ☆ ～('▽^人)

a/n ~ i was literally just eating these japanese peach gummies and i felt a sudden surge of inspiration, and i love toji so it was a match made in my tummy. this is a lil self indulgent cause i'm addicted to peaches and just needed an outlet to express that ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )

summary; toji never liked peaches. well, not until he met you.

wc; 400+

pairings; toji fushiguro x fem!reader

cw; SMUT!! toji being a hater, reader loving peaches, oral, dom!toji, sub!reader, fingering, squirtin, established relationship, he really loves you, peaches, peaches, peaches, peaches, 🍑, nawt proofread - just peaches

saying you liked peaches was an understatement. 

peach soap, peach perfume, peach shampoo, peach themed makeup, peach flavoured lip gloss, literal peaches. it was kinda overwhelming. toji hated peaches. he’s never had a sweet tooth, being the greek god he is - he refused to eat anything he deemed ‘too sweet’, and peaches were the highest on that list.

it irked you at first. the petty sneer that he’d pull whenever he sensed anything remotely peach related around him, he just couldn’t understand how you were so obsessed with the stupid fruits. but of course, toji could never resist spoiling his sweet baby. soon, you started seeing peachy little gifts all around the apartment.

the fridge stocked with peach tea, a basket of fresh peaches in the kitchen, cute peach slippers by your bed. you thought he had officially lost it. you weren’t complaining though, after seeing how happy you got with each gift they seemingly doubled in amount. 

he would never say it out loud, but toji was starting to like peaches. 

especially after he got a taste of your sweet cunt. he didn’t think it was possible but the sheer amount of peaches you consume made you taste even better than you already did. head between your thighs, stubble tickles your skin as he sucks on your clit - two rough fingers scissoring your tight hole. a fat glob of his spit trickles down your entrance, pooling under your ass as his tongue massages your insides.

“t-toji- fuuhck!”

he doesn’t respond. too focus on tasting as much of you as he could, shaking his head side to side as he makes out with your pretty pussy. his large hands grip your thighs open, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the skin, too gentle compared to the way he eats you out like a mad man. he can feel the way your legs quiver, cunt clenching rapidly on his tongue - your stomach tightening so good, locking eyes with your boyfriend as he looks up at you with smoky eyes from behind your mound.

he couldn’t stop, not even after you squirted that sweet juice all in his awaiting mouth, not after you begged so sweetly for him to slow down - hands weakly pushing his head away from your aching pussy. “move yer fuckin’ hands, baby. ‘s not my fault ya cunt’s all sweet, now let daddy enjoy his pretty girl’s pussy.” 

toji didn’t like peaches. but if peaches taste like your pussy? well, he fucking loves them.

-This one is for my one and only true love Princess Peach

Peach, you're so cool And with my star, we're gonna rule Peach, understand I'm gonna love you 'til the very end

Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches I love you, oh Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches I love you, oh

Mario, Luigi, and a Donkey Kong too A thousand troops of Koopas couldn't keep me from you Princess Peach, at the end of the line I'll make you mine, oh

Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches I love you, oh

Peaches, Peaches, Peach, Peach

[the-froschamethyst4]

Breakfast in Bed

𖤐Pairing: Husband! Soap x Wife! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: Fluff, language, married couple, flirting, a bit of smut, kissing/making out, groping, fingering, P in V, licking, biting, aftercare

𖤐Summary: Soap wants to be a good husband to his wife Y/n, and decided to make her some breakfast in bed.

—————

—————

4:00AM

Soap woke up before the sun, he looked up at the ceiling and saw the streetlamps hitting against the ceiling. He sits up and leans against the headboard of the bed.

He looks to his left seeing his sleeping wife. He saw her sleeping face, she looked happy, comfortable and so sound. He smiles at her and slides down and kissed her forehead.

She stir in her sleep, but got back to being comfortable. He smirks and gently gets up from the bed.

He puts on some sweatpants, he just gently shuts the door behind him and went downstairs.

He turns on the coffee pot and fixed himself some coffee. He pulls out a pan, the toaster and a plate. He was going to surprise his lovely wife with some breakfast in bed.

It was no special occasion, he just wanted to do it for her. She's been stressed with work, and having to deal with her crazy family. Soap knows she needs to be destressed from everything.

5:30AM

He makes toast, eggs, bacon and even cut up some fruits for her. He stood by the coffee pot and placed the mug under it letting it dispense hot water, he grabbed a tea bag that was meant for stress-reliving.

He puts a spoonful of sugar in it along with honey.

"Perfect," he states, as he was placing everything on a tray and walking back upstairs, he gently pushes the door open with his foot and saw Y/n was up.

"You're up," he sounded surprise.

"Yeah...I was wondering were you darted off to," she says, kicking the covers off her feet.

"Yeah, I was going to bring you some breakfast," he says sitting the tray over her lap.

"Why?" She asked with a smile and looking up at him.

"You just deserve it."

"Aww~ thanks you," she says, leaning forward and kissing his lips.

"Anything for you," he smiles down at her. He plops down next to her and turned the TV on, today felt like a lazy day and an everything about Y/n type of day.

Soap admired Y/n as she ate, she looked cute and so peaceful, she would sometimes offer a bite to Soap, but he'd gently decline and tell her it's all for her as he sips on his coffee.

Y/n was happy that Soap made everything for her and about her. Y/n leaned back in her plush comfortable pillows and smiled to herself.

"Are you done?" He asked.

"Yes, for now though," Y/n says, biting her bottom lip and rolling on Soap, sitting on his lap.

"My love?"

"Hm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, just looking at you, my handsome husband," she compliments.

"My love, don't today is about you not me," he says, cupping the back of her head, moving forward till her back hit the plush bed and he was above her, her arms still around his neck.

"You look so beautiful."

"Don't I always?" She says. He only chuckles at her and attacks her neck with kisses. She lets out a soft moan and ran her fingers through his hair.

His lips then moved from her neck to her jawline and then finally to her lips. She slightly opened her mouth letting his tongue inside.

"I do hate to ruin this moment, Soap," she says as his lips went back to her neck.

"Hm?" He hums.

"My boss called and asked if I could come in, tonight."

"Tonight? To do what?"

"Just come in and do some filing and end of the month shit," she says.

"Did you tell him, no?" Soap asked.

"...No..."

"Love."

"Soap, it's for a few hours." He sits up and placed his hands on her thighs as she stayed on her back and held his wrists.

"How long is a few hours?" He asks.

"4?"

"Fine," he groans.

"Soap," she teased him, her hands moving from his wrists up her shirt and exposing her braless boobs. "I don't leave till the afternoon, care to-"

"Fuck yeah, you don't need to tell me twice," he holds her waist and then started to kiss her neck and his hands went up and squeezed her bare chest.

She lets out a soft moan as her hands went to his hair and down to his shoulders, squeezing his buff shoulders and enjoying the kisses on her bare skin.

"K-Keep going."

"Wasn't playing on stopping, my love," he says, kissing her lips and moving his hands to her hips and pulled at her shorts wanting them down off her body.

As he pulls them off her lower half, he pushes two fingers inside of her, quickly pushing them in and out of her and earning a soft and loud moan from her lips.

His eyes focused on her face seeing her eyes squeeze shut and let out soft moans.

"God, I love your moans, they drive me crazy," Soap says as he pulls his fingers from her and starts moving down kissing, licking and biting at her thighs.

"S-Soap, h-holy fuck," she moans.

"Shhh~ my love, let me pleasure you, only enjoy yourself," his rough hands squeeze at her thick thighs.

His tongue went to her inner thighs, licking at her and biting her leaving some small teeth marks on her thighs.

"Ah nngh~!" She moans.

He then starts to strip from his pants and started to mess with his harden dick. He moves it and watched her eyes land on his hand touching himself. He smirks when he sees she wasn't being discrete about it.

"I know you want it, my love, I can see it in your eyes that you want to be fucked by me," he then pulls his dick from his boxers and started to pump himself before pushing himself inside of Y/n.

"Ah!" Her head goes back into the plush pillows and her hands were around his neck. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he was thrusting deep into her but was also being so gentle at the same time.

He only took it slow so she could get use to him before he picks up the pace.

Her eyes fluttered open as she looks at Soap and begs him to move faster which he gladly did. He was moving faster and faster and watched her face become red and her eyes held tears threatening to fall but never did.

His thumbs wiped the stray tears away and kissed her lips as she moans into the kiss and the tip of his dick just barely hitting her g-spot.

Her head goes back and she let's out a soft moan.

"S-Soap," she moans.

Soap could feel her squeeze around him, they both moaned and he came inside of her. He pulls out and watches cum leak from her lower half.

White liquid leaked form her, he smirks looking down at her.

---------

"Was breakfast good?" Soap asked as he watched Y/n drinking her tea.

"It was good," she says.

"You don't seem...happy?"

"No, I'm happy," she smiles at him. "You did a romantic gesture and very much apricate what you did, and I love you for it," she says, kissing his lips. "Thank you."

Soap watches her eat and smiles at her.

He moves closer to her and cups her chin and kissed her lips again.

"God, I love you," Soap says, kissing her some more.

[wordy-little-witch]

Okay CoraBug hours where we look at canon, go HAH No, and carry on bc I Do Not See It

Buggy and Cora being absolutely the schmooziest, goofiest couple ever.

Cora and Buggy experimenting with makeup looks together.

They each have an Egg Each, but they have each other's eggs, or they both make two each so one can have the second egg on hand for long distance stints.

Long denden calls and writing letters to each other.

Sengoku having several attacks of just as many varieties because his son is dating a pirate and it's THAT pirate as well and he's So Fucking Angry bc Buggy isn't even all that bad, he HATES it-

Uncle Garp. The shenanigans there. Need I say more?

Shanks telling Buggy about Luffy and it goes "my brother adopted the grandson of my boyfriend's honorary uncle" and you can see the smoke coming from his ears.

Cora and Buggy were childhood sweethearts, and Shanks ABSOLUTELY gave Cora a shovel talk. Roger also gave Cora a shovel talk. Rayleigh played psychological warfare as a test (Cora passed).

They do shows together and their favorites are acrobatics and aerials.

Buggy has forbade Cora from fire stunts, so Cora simply watches Buggy do them and drools respectfully. (In his defense, Buggy is VERY skilled with batons and dragon staffs.)

Devil Fruits have something they need to Feed or things that Feed the fruits. For some, it's foods, some it can be abated with tobacco. Cora uses his cigarettes and Buggy runs on sugar.

Cora is actually a very clean person and prefers unscented soaps, he just has a skill for always looking freshly mugged in an alleyway. Buggy meanwhile is a neat freak who changes up his soaps frequently, but always within a certain brand/maker rotation bc he has sensitive skin.

Drawbacks Of Devil Fruits My Beloved - they're both more lethargic in highly humid weather, or in the rain. Cora's sleepier overall when stuff gets to that point, but Buggy runs a higher risk of getting sick as a result.

Buggy sometimes has Bad Brain Days, be it an episode or he's overstimulated. Regardless, when he needs Space, he'll shimmy under Cora's feathered coat and Cora will cast a bubble for them with just enough muted input to calm Buggy down but not trigger his intrusive thoughts.

Likewise, when Cora is in Cover And Perform Mode, Buggy will gently lead him away and pull the other down to his chest, ear over his heart, and will just... talk. Random, unimportant things like "Oh I heard dinner will be this tonight" or "I've been thinking of getting x, y, z tools for the ring". Just stuff to ground him, she he isn't alone, that things are okay and fine and safe.

They have prank wars. Ritchie always wins. Nobody knows how.

Cora will straight up scruff Buggy like a cat when he gets angry and stabby.

Buggy will climb Cora like a tree when he feels playful.

<><><><> Bonus Incorrect Quotes <><><><>

Buggy: They call it committing murder because it's a commitment. It's stronger than marriage.

Cora:

Buggy:

Cora: babe, no-

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cora: I could kill you if I wanted.

Buggy: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special

Cora:

Buggy:

Cora: I love you-

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Cora: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Buggy: I—

Buggy: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

Cabaji, who just wanted to eat his lunch in peace:

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: BE A BETTER PERSON!

Cora: WHY?!

Buggy: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cora: *sighs*

Buggy: You bored?

Cora: Yeah.

Buggy: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Cora: I thought you’d never ask.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cora: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Buggy: This is a lie.

Buggy: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Buggy: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: What’s your favorite color?

Cora: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.

Buggy: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?

Cora: My favorite color is pink.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Context: Roger and Garp having a play date, Shanks and Mihawk are sitting to the side while Buggy is doing smth mundane across the beach when Cora descends on the swordmen

Cora: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Buggy is? Because Buggy is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Mihawk:

Shanks:

Cora:

Mihawk: wh-

Shanks: YEAH!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: I'm very scary.

Cora: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.

Buggy: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.

Cora: And small.

Buggy:

Buggy: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say!

Cora: You should say something else.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cora: What’s your body count?

Buggy: Do you mean sex or murder?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cora, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with several kids one day?

Buggy: …

Buggy: What’s in the box?

Cora: What woul-

Buggy: Cora, what’s in the box?

Cora: I think you know.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Cora: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

[seaweedbrain17]

the perfectly curated tdbk list

🌸chapters/series

🪻personal favs

ao3: (in no particular order)

~playing with fire by ninanna 🪻🌸

~lover i dont have to love by clairesail (oa) 🪻🌸

~bad romance by zazum🪻🌸

~beast tamer by omnipotentpenmanship

~boiling point by maginot

~break my lock by zazum 🌸

~candy canes and christmas crackers by bigdorkenergy (pandatanks) 🪻🌸

~capre vitam per diem by rainsmith 🪻🌸

~caught in the rain by katsu_yuki (pt 1,2,3)🌸

~i know theres heaven but not like us by nikkiRA 🪻

~i give you myself(want you and nothing else) by curovogel

-hold me closer, bakugo katsuki by xXAlijonesXx🪻🌸

~hickeys and dohickeys by Frey_S🪻🌸

~hennessy by halcyoun day

~goodbye stranger by stereonightss

~fuck.(dont mind if i do)bakutodo by kageyamas_tiktok🪻

~fist fightin with fire just to get close to you by lelex🪻

~drunken night by mhamusings 🪻

~icebreaker by chalk

-just a quick escape by katsu_yuki 🪻

~taste of caramel by chalk

~sweeter than candy by chalk

~soap and water by chalk

~silence is golden but gold is overrated and overpriced anyway by curovogel

~same time next week by nikkiRA🪻

~rush hour train by katsu_yuki 🪻

~pretty boy(todobaku) by pitastash

~things that boyfriends do by mellyface

~till its over by xenophonspeaks 🪻

~tip of your tounge by chalk 🪻

~what speaks louder by chalk

~whatever it takes by xenophonespeaks 🪻

~you’ve been denying (what you want) by curovogel

~you’ve got me by chalk

~alliums by thepandoricawillopen

~no strings attached by menofsweaters🌸

~gratitude by cursedflames🪻

~status: its completed by notverygg🪻

~seven years and counting by ochako (kunimi)🪻

~reset point by chalk🪻

~remembering the divine fruit by katlovesfries

~if were up were up by chalk🪻

~me and you will do by maginot🌸

wattpad

~ i hate you too by hollycal75 🌸🪻

~in which bakugou makes an ass out of himself by atomicvampiricmetal 🌸🪻

~texting todoroki by todorokistarget🌸🪻

~forgetful by strawberryfoam_🌸🪻

~todobaku stuff by 100blackkites (ao3 collections)🌸🪻

~texting him by bakugosonlyservant🌸

~cute|TDBK by levisfavhousewife🌸

~pastries|TDBK by^🌸

~get it right||todobaku|| by fbgatgomt_zZ 🪻

~twerkulater||todobaku|| by ^🌸🪻

~just a hookup by worm_of_the_book🌸🪻

~just roomates by^🌸🪻

~my fake boyfriend by neoooo-🌸

~hate|todobaku by DEARESTCIRIUS 🌸🪻

~bakutodo texts by 0_halycon🌸

~bakutodo texts II by ^🌸

~roomates by bibirdbitch 🌸

~girls gossip night by|todobaku by cellophane_simp 🌸🪻

~freak of fate by ^🌸🪻

~bakutodo oneshots by hearts4bakugo

~just bored by CaSeybE_🌸

~secret admirer by ^🌸

~was it just a one night stand by welp_i_try🌸

~aizawas detention by the_SIXth_sense666🌸

~number neighbour by _1980s_kid🌸

~midnight texts by^🌸🪻

~agape| todobaku by^🌸

~todobaku chatfic by urmomreadsmystories🌸

~oblivious(todobaku) by mindeverloss🌸🪻

~new number (todobaku) by^🌸🪻

~todobaku oneshots/scenarios by^🌸🪻

~todobaku lunchbox by^🌸🪻

~todobaku falsified by^🌸🪻

~todobaku 3AM by^🌸🪻

~todobaku expose by^🌸🪻

~todoroki chatfic by prince_peach_-3-🌸🪻

~behind the screen by T0DOROK1 🌸

~flirting in texts by shototodoroki83🌸

~sleepless nights by alix256🌸

~winter breaks at the dorms by Puppy_04_dogs🌸🪻

~110 days by^🌸

~a spark by nominoiya🌸🪻

~todobaku by winterdroplet3 🌸

~artist |todobaku by crayorl🌸

~hes mine and only mine by mya_querida🌸

~love me more than i hate myself by liarliarstarsonfire🌸🪻(ig this is sad)

~why me? by WokeASF 🌸 (this is def sad)

~todoroki family group chat by yokohime🌸

~todoroki group chat by villianhawks🌸🪻

~who knew by KeigoTakami96 🌸🪻

~my rival is my roommate by Robotdog3000🌸

~pretty; todabku by _tobiomilk🌸🪻

~i really really like you (todobaku) DonahXO 🌸

~obsinate/todobaku by cheeriio-🌸🪻

~bakutodo smut by depressed_gay_otaku🌸🪻

~well shit| todobaku by izunata🌸🪻

[mfmango]

COD MW HCS BECAUSE IM HYPERFIXATED

- ghost can go really long without blinking. Will win staring contests no questions asked

- this is canon but once when soap and alejandro cooked tgt, it was alejandro trying to show soap how to cook a Mexican dish and failed horribly and they ended up burning it

- makarov has peak childhood trauma. his mother was NOT nice to him and he hides his emotions well but yuri knows like, some of it but knows not to ask cause makarov gets angry asf

- if makarov ever or has let a woman into his life, if they ever show any motherly traits he will fall fast but end up distancing himself bc he doesn't like feelings. silly old man

- price is afraid of minions.

- gaz once said soap looks like he wears pup gear at pride parades. soap has never recovered since

- gaz is also zesty as FUCK. Not straight in the slightest

- rodolfo/rudy and alejandro talk shit about people in spanish

- valeria is painfully good at cooking and she cooks the best rice ever

- gaz has taught price some MLE (londoner slang basically)

- gaz has 3 nike techs

- ghost is shit at cooking. makes banger tea tho

- price and laswell get into arguments about small things, and usually stupid shit as well (i.e if cats or dogs are better)

- ghost had a comic book collection, a lot of dc comics, mostly batman comics

- soap knows a lot of facts about oddly specific

- rodolfo/rudy is quiet. doesn't speak much, even around alejandro

- alejandro does a lot of the talking when he's watching rodolfo/rudy

- price hates kiwi (the fruit)

- soap once called gaz a batty boy/batty man (a way of calling someone gay in British slang, mostly London slang)

- ghost has picked up small scottish phrases from soap

- makarov is secretly heteroflexible/bi but only likes femininity, at the end of the day he just wants to relieve stress if ykwim

- makarov also found himself reading a lot as a child and read a lot of literature, even reads in his free time

- makarov was always very good at school, but once his father died he began working twice or triple as hard just to impress his mother but miserably failed, and that was the start of him overworking himself

- not a hc but can u tell I rlly like makarov

[somewhereincairparavel]

congrats on 300 followers!!!

anyway, do you think you could make a drabble of Pollux and Castor picking strawberries and just bickering with each other? like being brotherly and stuff? you don’t have to if you don’t want to btw, just a suggestion!

"Let's party!"

-Platonic! Castor × Pollux

Author's note: thank you anon! My 300 follower event is honestly so fun to do! Also ahh Castor and Pollux are so underrated! I had to research on Dionysus children to write this efficiently, also anon, you made me realize how mis-characterized Dionysus children are :( they are so underrated and great?? Thank you for making me realise this. instead of strawberry picking, I chose grape picking, I hope you don't mind! This is a little short though, I'm sorry, but Enjoy!

"Yo Polly, these grapes have worms in them, Dad's going to disown us if he sees us making wine from these decayed fruits"

Pollux stopped picking his grapes from the vines. "I didn't pick that! You did! I saw you put them in the basket"

"Nah dude, I'm the finest fruit picker in camp, I don't disgrace our dad like that" Castor snided.

"No it was definitely you who picked that"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"stop it both of you! you're giving me a headache, these plants can't grow with both of you yapping like ducks!" a random demeter kid barked as she passed by, she was attempting to grow strawberries in the camp half blood fields.

Castor and Pollux rolled their eyes at the same time. Typical demeter kids and their you-must-grow-plants-like-your-life-depends-on-it behaviour. But then again, Demeter and Dionysus kids were the "plant kids" of camp, so they were in no position to comment.

Castor hated being known that way. Everyone always thought that Dionysus kids were lazy, conceited, aloof, drunk, and useless. But it wasn't true. He wished people saw the good side. Sure they didn't have fancy powers like the other demigods, but so what?

Dionysus kids were the life of the parties, they arranged the snacks, the games, they helped campers with their mental health counseling and they were good at theatre and opera performances.

But their dad didn't seem to care about what people thought of him. I mean, castor knew his dad had heard the demeaning whispers of campers conceding him, but the wine lord didn't give a flying fuck. So why should Castor?

"Cas?" Pollux looked at his twin in concern, "you good, bro?"

"O-oh, yeah. I'm fine. Let's continue picking, we need the wine to be supplied to the big house by 5PM" Castor evaded the topic, but Pollux knew his brother was lying.

"Alright fine. I am the one who picked the decayed grapes, not you. You are the master of grape picking. There, feel better?" Pollux asked, with a smile in his eye.

"Yeah. I feel better, thanks polly" Castor laughed lightly. Even if his brother didn't know what was making him sad, he still made him laugh.

"By the gods, can you please stop calling me that? 'Polly' sounds like something a doll who's hair had been washed with dish soap by a little girl would be named as."

Castor broke out into fits of laughter.

"Now that was a little too specific, dude, have you met a doll named polly who has bad hair?" He asked in between his laughs.

"Yeah. As a matter of fact, i did, actually" Pollux glared.

"Well, that explains it." Castor concluded. "Polly" he added slyly.

Pollux sent grape vines to tangle his brother's legs, Castor ran away laughing his head off as Pollux began chasing him throughout the fields of camp. The grape baskets being completely forgotten on the ground.

Unbeknownst to the twins, Dionysus was watching them both amusedly from the big house windows, sipping on his diet coke, muttering "Silly kids".

[bowsforchristmas]

୨ৎ Glow-up tips from a beauty master

Diet

Diet is essential, finding a diet that works for you is essential

I do not mean a diet-diet, but certain foods that you like

Juices are a fun way to get fruits and veggies in- so try one!

Most diets that are recommended online are BS, don't waste your time

Get protein!

Don't stay away from certain foods because they seem "bad" Try it, and any food can be eaten in moderation - moderation is key!

Follow any intolerances- I personally have celiac and I did NOT follow my diet, and I ended up gaining weight and feeling awful. So lesson learned! Follow your allergies- even if you can't feel anything when you eat it!

Drink water, lots and lots of water

Don't be afraid to have fun! Food is for nutrition- but also for satisfaction, so have fun with it!

Get proper nutrition- eat all food groups and have multiple meals throughout the day-- hot girls eat

Skin

Find a skincare that works for YOU! Don’t give in to all of consumerism online, most of that stuff is not actually good for all skin types

Get fruits and veggies in, they help!

Water is so, so, so important— so drink lots of it!

Don’t have to much skincare products— a daily routine does NOT have to be extensive— some people don’t even need certain products

Do not use any acids if you are a teen- especially retinol

Sunscreen is so important

Do not pop pimples— may lead to scarring

Confidence

Having confidence is one of the most important things out of everything — you are awesome already, so work it !!

Have the mindset of not giving a fuck— I don’t mean not caring about other people— just don’t care what they think about you!

Sometimes bettering your mind is the only glow you need, so start reading, listening and doing things that make you feel more confident!

Extra

Sleep is very necessary, it is recommended to get at least 7 hours of sleep— so count resting , as your beauty sleep !

Find a style you like, that makes you feel your best, wear what ever you want ! Don’t follow the crowd— be you

Get a signature scent, any scent works- perfume, soap, body mist

Music, I do not think that glowing up is only your looks, and music can help you feel better too- listen to things that make you feel good!

Journaling— this is completely optional, I personally hate it, but many people say it helps them so much!!

Be yourself! You matter so much so remember that

Hang around good people, sometimes being around the wrong crowd will bring up YOUR worst, so surround yourself with kind positive people!

You are amazing!! Reposts/likes are greatly appreciated!!

[softsky-daily]

4/13/2025

Vast and endless blue.

Positive thing: I got lots of things done and maintained a good mood all day.

Sleeping in multiple days in a row really works wonders, truly. I woke up and it was like one of those Disney princess scenes where the birds fly in and there's a breeze in your hair and the sun is shining perfectly. I finally had the time and energy to throw away some boxes that had been clogging up my room, I donated the bags of clothes that had also been sitting for about a month, I bought more soap and rice and got my car washed, I had a fruit tea, it was glorious. Conversation Table went well too. I even doodled stuff since I was in such a good mood. And also because OHSHC is still running circles in my mind, but anyway.

It had been a while since I got my car washed. I've had bad luck where every time I finally have some time to try to go to the car wash, I get there and it's out of order. But today my luck changed and the one nearby was actually working for once, so my poor car finally got some TLC. She's been dusty for a hot minute. I also enjoyed watching all the soap and water dance around my windshield.

Ever since I was little I was fascinated with the soap colors. They're very nostalgic to me now.

I also had fun looking for regular hand soap. Our bathroom is Pochacco themed, and most of our decor is blue, so I try to find soap that matches. As a result I've gotten pretty attached to blue soap. I wandered around Bath and Body Works admiring all the different soap names and scent notes. I always wonder how they come up with them. Some of the notes are straightforward sounding, like flowers or citrus, but other times they throw in a "sapphire opalite" or whatever and a big question mark forms over my head.

In terms of the upcoming week, I need to get a move on with my grad portfolio. It's also my last week of internship, and the last week of normal class. Everything is moving so fast and it doesn't feel real. I feel like I need to start solidifying post-grad plans too. Bwah. Can't I just hibernate and not do anything until it's over... I'll take my diploma and then curl up in bed, thanks.

Oh yeah and internship has been slowly falling apart because of shitty new management, and case in point, the manager messaged me to finish a bunch of progress notes where half of them weren't even designated as my responsibility. And the other half I swear I already did? She doesn't even remember my name or thank me or acknowledge me, and I'm not even getting paid for this, plus it's my last week. So honestly I've been tempted to just figure out the business-appropriate way to say "fuck off until you actually start treating your patients and employees like human beings, also learn my name before you ask me to do anything" and then vibe with our patients and let her flounder. I would feel bad since notes that don't get done end up the other therapists' responsibility, but I already heard they're threatening to quit, so lol. lmao even. The manager can learn the hard way that she needs to get her act together or the turnover rate is going to continue to get worse.

But anyway. Life continues to life. Maybe I was in such a good mood this past weekend because our other roommate was out. And all the background stress went away... sigh. I hate saying that someone's very presence is stress inducing, but it's just the truth at this point. I'll keep holding out hope for a maintained peace one of these days.