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girlgenius1111 · 1 year ago

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no time

jenni hermoso x reader. jenni is feeling neglected by how much time r is spending away from her, focused on football and getting her degree. jenni decides r is avoiding her, and pulls away too. eventually, it all becomes too much for r, who is feeling the pressure from everyone and everything. i would say teeny amount of angst and majority amount of fluff. for all the underfed jenni girls 😌😌

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Jenni knew you were busy. She knew you had a million things going on, and that the lack of time you’d been spending her was probably completely unintentional. A more insecure part of her worried that it was intentional, but she tried to quiet that part down. The Spaniard came across as a very outgoing, confident individual, and for the most part, she was. In her relationships, though, she had an issue with asking for what she needed, just like you did. She craved your attention and your company, but something inside of her just… wouldn’t let her ask for it.

And it wasn’t like Jenni wasn’t trying to spend time with you. She’d come into the office while you were studying, trying to convince you to take a break. In the past few weeks, the answer had been no. You were drowning in school work, with practices picking up in frequency and intensity for the team. When you did have time to focus on school, you were always rather exhausted. Adding another 2 classes to your course load this term had been a mistake if you’d ever made one. Instead of the two you normally took, sometimes three, you were taking four. Four more classes, and you’d be done with your degree, fulfilling your promise to your parents to have a backup plan in case football didn’t work out. Maybe you didn’t deserve a degree. It was pretty idiotic to come to the conclusion that four classes wasn’t that much more than two.

Jenni had never cared for school, getting it done as soon as she could. She loved you, a lot, but she couldn’t really comprehend the deeply ingrained need you had to get your degree, and get perfect marks. She was supportive nonetheless, but she didn’t really quite understand what another two classes would entail. For the first part of the term, it had been manageable. Now, things had piled up, and you were absolutely drowning.

You were a perfectionist, and you’d do anything to make sure your university work was perfect, your football was perfect, at the expense of everything. Even your own wellbeing. And, apparently, Jenni’s wellbeing too, although you weren’t quite aware of the toll your lack of time spent with her was causing.

It was really a lack of communication that caused things to bubble over.

Jenni felt neglected. And you wanted nothing more than for her to pull you away from your late night study sessions and remind you to put yourself first, because you were sure you couldn’t do it yourself. If either of you had just spoken to the other, it would have been resolved so easily. Jenni would have realized that you needed her, but were too stressed to really know what you needed. And you would have realized that giving Jenni space wasn’t some kind of gift for her, and that she would be happy to sit next to you while you studied and just keep you company. Communication was an area that your relationship tended to struggle, though. It was a work in progress, and this situation clearly presented where there was still progress to be made.

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As you typed away at your computer, you again wondered why on earth you had added classes. Another term would have been worth it, if only to avoid this hell. It was Tuesday, and you had 3 essays due on Sunday. The week was stuffed full of training and extra workouts, though, and then the team was traveling for an away game. Everything had to be done by Friday, or it wouldn’t get done, and that wasn’t an option.

Not only did it have to be done, it had to be perfect. There was no possibility of halfassing any assignment. You’d tried before, but you always ended up redoing it until it was perfect, and it was just much easier to do it the first time around.

You had just finished the first essay, which was at the very end of the page limit. It was up to your standards, you decided, reading over it once more before turning it in. You should have felt relieved, that one of the things hanging over your head was now completed. Instead, you could only look to the next essay, and the one after that. And the exam next week, the project the week after. It was so easy to get overwhelmed if you thought too hard about everything, so you did your best to focus on each task one at a time.

Perhaps it was this very narrow view of your life that had you not really thinking about your girlfriend in the other room. She’d been waiting for you to emerge from the office all afternoon, only getting you to take a short break to eat.

She just wanted to spend time with you. Catch up on a show, or hold you on the couch and talk. It didn’t make any sense to her, why couldn't you just put the schoolwork down for one night, and pay attention to her. Maybe you would have, if she’d just asked for it. Instead, she sat quietly in the living room, trying her best not to cry as her feelings began to overwhelm her. Was she really that horrible to spend time with? That her own girlfriend preferred mindless busy work to being with her?

Deciding to end her pity party, she wiped at her eyes, checking in the front hall mirror that there were no visible tear marks, before she made a very pathetic attempt to get your attention. It wasn’t very late, but training had been grueling today, and Jenni knew that if she was tired, you must be exhausted.

“Mi amor?” Jenni called from the doorway of the office. “Are you coming to bed?”

You didn’t even turn your head away from the screen in front of you for a full 20 seconds, and when you finally did, it was to stare almost blankly at your girlfriend. “Huh?”

“I was just- I’m going to bed now. Goodnight.” Before you could reply, Jenni was turning around and heading down the hall towards the bedroom. No goodnight kiss, no request for you to join her. You blinked after her, struck by how cold she’d just been with you. Now that you thought about it, she’d been like that for a few days, and you hadn’t noticed.

You turned back to your outline, copying lines from your notes mindlessly as you tried to figure out the source of Jenni’s frustration. Of course, you settled on yourself. You were a disaster at the moment, and you knew that. The only logical thing you could come up with was that Jenni was just… annoyed with having to deal with you like this. There were only a few weeks left of term, and you decided to try to bother her as little as possible until then. Once school was over, for good, you could go back to being the smiley, relaxed girlfriend Jenni was used to. The one Jenni preferred.

You had very little clarity of when you fell asleep. One second, you were typing away, eyes drooping. The next, you were facedown asleep, your face smushed into your keyboard.

Jenni managed to fall asleep without you next to her, but did not remain that way for long. After only two hours she woke, frowning to herself when she realized the bed was still practically made on your side. With a sigh, she dragged herself from bed and walked down to the office, prepared to drag you to bed if she had to. Even if you were avoiding her, she had to put her foot down somewhere; this was bordering on unhealthy.

She trudged into the office, lips curving into a small smile as she noticed you out cold on your laptop. It didn’t look very comfortable, and the quiet inhales and marks on your cheek told her you’d been asleep for a solid amount of time.

“Amor,” Jenni sang, her voice soft and loving as she roused you from a deep sleep.

“Jen?” You picked your head up, blinking groggily up at her, and winced at the knot that had appeared in your neck. You’d fallen asleep, you realized. It was dark in the room, and Jenni’s face was half hidden by shadows. It was unreadable, and you cursed yourself internally for immediately breaking the promise you’d made to yourself just a few hours prior. The promise to not make Jenni suffer through your stress along with you. She must be so upset with you, having to come check on you like you were a child. Still, Jenni was kind and you knew that the way she carefully picked you up and cradled you to her chest didn’t mean she still wasn’t annoyed. It didn’t mean you weren’t being too much for her, it just meant Jenni was a good person.

“Let’s go to bed, sí?” She cooed, carrying you down the hall.

You nodded into her chest, allowing yourself a moment of comfort. You fought against the tightness in your throat and the moisture in your eyes as you realized just how exhausted you were, not wanting to make the situation any worse. Warmth filled your girlfriend’s chest at the feeling of having you so close to her again, but that feeling faded quickly when she placed you down on the bed, and you immediately rolled to the edge of your side. As far from her as possible.

This cemented it in her mind, honestly. That you were avoiding her on purpose, using your school work as an excuse. And you were only more sure that she was tired of how much stress you brought to her life when she didn’t curl her body around yours, as she normally did. Both of you were miserable as you drifted off, completely incorrectly convinced that the other person was angry.

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You were not a morning person, but your girlfriend was. It was your daily routine at this point for her to wake you up in the morning, a mug of coffee in her hand and a soft smile on her face, dimples just barely peeking out. Or, you’d wake to her curled around you, her breaths steady puffs on your neck. Never, never, did you wake to nothing. No Jenni at all. Your alarm went off, and you groaned, feeling that the few hours of sleep were not enough. You were barely conscious, rolling onto the other side of the bed in search of your girlfriend’s warm body. Nothing.

Waiting a beat, you listened for her footsteps coming up the stairs. Nothing. Minutes passed with no appearances from the striker, and you rolled over towards the bedside table, grabbing your phone. Her location showed her already at the training grounds, a full hour early. You pictured her taking free kicks from all over the pitch, the same scowl on her face she always got when she was worked up about something. You loved that scowl, despite the cause of it. You liked to make it turn into a huge grin, one that brought out the dimples on her cheeks.

God you missed her. Suddenly, with full force, you missed her deeply. Though you’d seen her last night, it felt like you’d been gone for weeks. You supposed you had, too caught up in your school work to think of much else. You wondered if she missed you, too, or if she was glad for the break.

No way to know, you decided, even though there very clearly was. Deciding that you could get a bit of your next essay done before you had to get ready for training, you dragged yourself out of bed and down the hall to get some coffee. There was some left on the counter for you, in a mug that had Jenni’s face on it, a joke gift she’d given you last christmas. On the very rare occasions Jenni had to leave the house before you were up, she almost always left a little note. Sometimes it was something cheesy and adorable, and other times it was just a heart. Today, there was nothing but the mug, the coffee inside already cold.

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When Jenni entered the house after dinner, she was feeling kind of guilty for being so distant the past few days. Especially after seeing how exhausted you were the night before. With the whole day to think about things, she realized maybe she should be more worried than upset with you.

She’d left before you were even awake. Obviously, you couldn’t discuss anything at training, and you’d gone straight to the library after to work on your essay. Jenni had made herself get out of the house, getting together with a few friends, texting you quickly that she wouldn’t be home for dinner.

She knew she’d been a bit immature and that she should have just communicated her issue to you. Before you, she’d never felt needy. Now, though, it felt like any time away from you was difficult. And the distance she’d forced in the past few days hadn’t made her feel better like she thought; she hadn’t gotten used to not being around you. Instead, she just missed you even more. Maybe she would have talked to you, honestly, if she hadn’t been convinced that you were upset with her, tired of her.

She couldn’t hear the clicking of the keyboard coming from the office, and that would have been her first guess as to your location. Moving further into the house, Jenni looked around, finally spotting you in the living room. You weren’t lounging in the armchair, watching a show, like she’d been expecting. Instead, you were curled up into a ball on the sofa, sobbing into your hands. It was loud and painful, and the brunette was sure that you hadn’t even heard her enter the house. There were papers scattered around you, your computer set aside, still open to the essay that just wouldn’t get done.

The small sounds you were making in between each sob broke Jenni’s heart, and it only took her a minute to unfreeze, and cross the room.

“Amor, hey,” she cooed, crouching down next to the sofa and trying to tug your hands away from your face. You jumped slightly, feeling your face burn with embarrassment. You thought you’d have more time to hide your breakdown before Jenni got home.

“Go away.” You murmured, attempting to move away from her. Jenni was strong, though, and before you could move very far, you were being pulled into her lap.

“No. Talk to me.” Jenni encouraged, finally getting a look at your face. Her stomach dropped as she realized just how exhausted you were, and just how upset. Your bottom lip trembled as you tried to stop your tears, fighting against the urge to lean into your girlfriend. If the past day had taught you anything, it was that Jenni didn’t need to deal with your stress. That was the reason she must have been pulling away, and you wanted to respect her obvious need for space.

“I’m fine, Jenni, just go to bed. I’ll be in later.” Your voice was raspy from crying, and Jenni’s brow furrowed.

Shaking her head, she leaned in to place the gentlest of kisses on your cheek. “Cari, I am not going anywhere until you tell me what is wrong.”

Again, it felt like every part of you was begging to collapse into her. You just couldn’t do it. “You have enough on your plate. Don’t worry about me.” Even as you spoke, tears ran down your face, and you sniffled pitifully.

Jenni rolled her eyes in response, her slender fingers pushing your hair away from your face. “I love you, I am going to worry about you. Especially when I find you like this. Now tell me what is wrong so I can fix it.”

There was nowhere for you to look but at her, and her eyes were so earnest and so concerned, you gave in. “I-I’m just so stressed, Jen. I can’t- there isn’t enough time for me to get everything done and I’m so tired and I can’t do this anymore I’m losing my mind, and I’m too much for you and I just-”

Jenni became laser focused on the end of your rambling sentences, her hands working frantically to run through your hair and caress your face in comfort. “No, you are not too much for me, mi amor. Never. Why would you think that?”

Looking at her with wide eyes, you wondered why she was lying. “You’ve been avoiding me these past few days. You’ve barely been here, you left this morning without even waking me, I-”

Shaking her head rapidly, Jenni felt guilt tugging at her. She should have known better, should have known you’d never do anything to hurt her, but yourself? That was another story. “Amor, you’ve been avoiding me for weeks. I was only trying to give you space.”

“I was trying to give you space.” You choked out. “I thought you were tired of me.”

“No, mi amor, no.” Jenni sighed, gripping you by the shoulders and internally cursing herself. “I thought you were tired of me. You’ve been so busy, and I just thought you wanted to spend less time with me.”

‘No, I didn’t want that.” You shook your head, shrugging her hands off your shoulders, only to wrap your own arms around her abdomen and bury your face in her neck. “I was just so busy and so overwhelmed, I didn’t want to stress you out.”

With a gentle hand on the back of your head, Jenni pressed you in closer to her and left a kiss on the side of your head. “You do not stress me out. I want to help you when you are stressed, but I cannot do that if it feels like you do not want me around.”

You nodded into her neck, knowing she likely felt the tears running off your face and onto her skin. “I’m sorry.” You whimpered.

“It’s alright, cari. I’m sorry too, I should have noticed you were stressed.”

When she only got a shrug in response, she leaned you back from her and studied your face closely. “What’s going on, hmm? School doesn’t normally get you like this.”

Subconsciously, you tried to match the rise and fall of your girlfriend’s chest, willing yourself to just calm down so you could have a conversation. “It’s the extra classes. It’s way too much, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m barely getting everything done and it’s building up and-”

“Extra classes?” Jenni asked, her forehead wrinkling in confusion.

You blinked at her. You’d told her about the extra classes… right? Admittedly, Jenni didn’t listen very hard when you talked about school, so it was entirely possible she’d just missed it, but she always remembered the important things. “I told you. I’m taking four this term.”

“Four! Why would you do that?!” Jenni exclaimed, her face so comically surprised, you had to fight a smile. “You didn’t tell me, amor.”

“I did!” You argued back. “So I can finish school this term instead of after the next one.”

Jenni shook her head, her face turning slightly stern. “You did not tell me. That is too much, mi amor, why would you do that? No wonder you’re so overwhelmed.” She tutted.

You thought hard, your eyebrows scrunching in a way Jenni found downright adorable. “Oh. I decided when I was home with my family for the holidays. I must have told them and forgotten to tell you…”

You looked at Jenni wearily, wondering if she’d be upset. Instead, she was chuckling at you and shaking her head. It was very you to forget something like this. Jenni liked to joke that you spend all your brain power on football and school, and there wasn’t any left over for common sense.

“Sorry, Jen. I thought I told you.” You mumbled, face turning red with embarrassment. Maybe your girlfriend would have been annoyed, if she wasn’t so very in love with you. All your quirks, though, were just silly to her, endearing. She had become horrifically soft for you, she realized.

“It’s okay, you didn’t do it on purpose.” Jenni said kindly. “I understand now, why you’ve been so busy. But, amor, if it is too much, why don’t you just drop a class? Or turn in a few assignments late. You only need a certain grade to pass, no? Not everything has to be perfect. You have to give yourself a break.”

It was everything you’d needed to hear, and still, everything you refused to believe. You couldn’t drop a class, couldn’t get less than a perfect score. You didn’t deserve a break, not until everything was done. Jenni’s face fell as your eyes began to water again, and she worried she said the wrong thing.

A flood of words spewed from your mouth, trying to help her understand what you didn’t even really understand. “I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to take a break without someone telling me to, I feel like my body is shutting down Jenni, I’m so tired,” you sobbed, once more pressing your face into her chest, likely staining her shirt with tears. She was quick to wrap you in a hug, hushing you quietly.

“Oh, mi amor.” She sighed, stroking her fingers through your hair. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize you were having a hard time, I’m sorry I didn’t help.”

That felt like an incredibly ridiculous thing for her to apologize for, and you told her so. “You shouldn’t have to do that, you shouldn’t have to take care of me like that”

“Of course I do. I want to. That is what partners do, no?” She replied incredulously, using her sleeve to gently swipe the tears off your face. She hated to see you cry, but she loved how long your eyelashes got when they were wet with tears; it made your eyes look bigger, somehow, and it always made her want to hold onto you and never let go.

“You don’t have to.” You argued weakly.

Jenni kissed you gently instead of replying right away, her soft lips pressing into yours telling you more than she could probably convey with words. “I’m going to, cariño.”

“Okay.” You whispered, effectively convinced by her kiss, knowing Jenni well enough to know that if you agreed with her, she’d kiss you again. And she did.

“We’ll start now then. Let’s take a break. We can lay on the couch and take a nap and then order dinner in.” She was already shutting your computer and carefully putting your notes into a pile, before placing it all on the table.

“But my essay,” you argued halfheartedly, knowing you would probably only be capable of writing incomprehensible sentences at this point. The striker turned back to you, a stern look on her face once again. Jenni shook her head firmly, her thumbs running back and forth across your cheeks in an incredibly soothing manner. “No essay is worth this. You need to take a break, and rest.”

“I- I don’t…”

“Hmm? You don’t what, amor?” Her voice held a challenge, almost begging you to argue with her about needing a break. She didn’t understand, but she wanted to, more than anything.

“I didn’t finish.” You whispered. “I don’t deserve a break until I’m done.”

“Cariño,” Jenni sighed, gently pulling on the back of your neck until you’d tucked your face in against her. She kissed the top of your head, mumbling her next words into your hair. “You are not a machine. You deserve a break whenever you need one, and you need one right now. No arguments.”

And though it felt all wrong, you let Jenni remove all your study materials from the room, putting them god knows where. She returned, sliding onto the couch and pulling you so you were laying in her arms.

Once your favorite show had been put on the TV, you looked up at her, chin resting on her chest. “I’m really sorry you felt so neglected, Jen.” You murmured. Now that you were no longer panicked about not getting your essay done, guilt had flooded you. “I wasn’t trying to avoid you, I promise. I’m so-”

“It’s okay, mi amor.” Jenni smiled. Now that her insecurities had been relatively addressed, [and now that she felt ridiculous for having them in the first place,] her only focus was on getting you to relax. Incidentally, that meant you would be spending a fair amount of time with her going forward, and that was a win for the striker. “I do not want to hear any more about it, si? All is forgiven.”

Jenni’s ability to forgive was one of her best traits, and you knew that when she said she forgave you, she meant it.

“Now, for my plan.” She continued, smiling almost mischievously at you.

“Your plan?” You asked wearily.

“Si, my very smart and well thought out plan.” Jenni grinned. “We are going to make a schedule. There will be Jenni time and study time, but not too much study time.”

“What about too much Jenni time?” You smirked.

She frowned at you. “That is not possible.”

You laughed, laying your head back down on her chest. “Anything else?”

“And now it is nap time, because your eyes are falling shut and you slept for three hours last night.” Her arms locked around you, allowing no escape. Not that you wanted one.

“Okay.” You mumbled, squirming slightly until your face was tucked into her neck, blocking out the light of the room. You drifted off quickly, lulled into sleep by Jenni’s hands rubbing up and down your back, and the rise and fall of her chest under you.

Jenni waited an entire hour to order dinner, thinking that she could wake you when it arrived, if you weren't already awake. She got the message that the food had been delivered a half hour after that, trying to wipe the stupid grin off her face at the way you were curled up on top of her. How she could have ever doubted your love for her, she wasn’t sure.

“Amor? The food is here.” She whispered, pushing your hair out of your face enough to see that your eyes were shut, your face relaxed. Giving up ridiculously quickly, she settled into the couch, allowing you to stay asleep. The food could wait. You needed the rest, and your girlfriend was more than happy to be a pillow for you, for as long as you needed her to be.

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as if i would study if i was jenni's girlfriend, and not spend the whole day looking at her like 🙂

#jenni hermoso x reader #woso one shot #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics

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reissancesstuff · 28 days ago

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"You Can Quote Me on That"

Tsukishima Kei x fem!reader | Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Slowburn, Banter-heavy

You hated his stupid smug face.

Tsukishima Kei sat across from you in the empty library study room, his ever-present scowl carved deep into his features like he’d been personally offended by the concept of being tutored.

And sure, maybe you had volunteered, but that didn’t mean you were going to tolerate the eye-rolls every time you asked him to read a line of poetry aloud.

“Love is a temporary madness—”

“So is this entire poem.”

“Tsukishima.”

“What? I’m just saying, if Plato had met today’s teenagers, he’d have reconsidered.”

You glared at him. “You need to pass this next lit exam. Unless you want to repeat your third year with all the first-years calling you ‘Grandpa Kei’ in the hall.”

He narrowed his eyes, lips twitching like he was holding back something—amusement? “You seem awfully invested in my future, sensei.”

“Only because Coach Ukai asked me. If it were up to me, you’d be rotting in your own sarcastic swamp.”

Tsukishima leaned back in his chair, tapping a pen lazily against his notebook. “So poetic. Maybe you should be the one writing the assignment.”

You exhaled sharply through your nose. “Nope. That’s all you. And speaking of which—this week’s homework is writing your own poem. Minimum 10 lines. Theme: love.”

He blinked. “You’re joking.”

“I’m really not. It’s due Friday.”

Tsukishima looked at you like you’d just told him he had to perform an interpretive dance in front of the whole school. “Love is dumb.”

“Tell that to your grade,” you said sweetly, gathering your books. “Can’t wait to see how creatively miserable you are in verse form.”

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Friday

You were not expecting him to actually do it.

Yet there it was. Neat handwriting on a sheet of paper, no visible corrections, no stains, no sarcastic doodles in the margins. Tsukishima handed it over without a word and sat down, adjusting his glasses.

You glanced at him, suspicious. “You’re not gonna be a smartass?”

He shrugged, looking vaguely bored. “I figured you’d appreciate the silence for once.”

You braced yourself and read it.

It’s not about grand declarations—

The sky won’t split, the oceans won’t cry.

It’s the way she remembers I hate caffeine,

And brings tea anyway.

It’s the way she argues with me like she’s on fire,

But still stays until the library closes.

It’s eye rolls and sighs,

And the faint curve of a smile when she thinks I’m not looking.

Love is not madness.

It’s Tuesdays at 4pm.

You blinked. Twice. The room went very, very still.

“…Is this about me?”

He didn’t look up. “Don’t flatter yourself. It was just part of the assignment.”

You stared at him. “You literally wrote ‘she brings tea anyway.’ I bring you tea. Every session.”

“Could be anyone.”

“Oh my god.”

He smirked faintly. “You're the one who said I had to write something creative.”

“Tsukishima Kei, if this is your idea of flirting—”

He looked up finally, eyes sharp and unreadable. “Would it work?”

Your breath caught. Heat bloomed in your chest like someone had lit a sparkler behind your ribs.

“…Maybe. If you keep writing poems like this.”

He raised a brow. “I’ll consider it. For extra credit.”

You rolled your eyes. “You're insufferable.”

But you didn’t move away when his hand brushed yours on the table. And when he offered to walk you home, you didn’t say no.

#x reader #drabble #fluff #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyu fluff #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu tsukishima #kei x reader #hq x reader #hq fluff

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greasegotahold · 7 months ago

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Lots of debate on the timeline of events in the outsiders and ages fitting into that, but according to Hinton Pony was born July 22, and he'd been 14 for about a month (line in the movie) when the main events kick off. That would put the murder during late August, which is exactly when that schoolyear would be starting. They only hide out for 5 days, which would put them at early September when they end up back home.

The rumble, Johnny's death, Dally's death, and Pony's concussion fainting happens the night after they get home.

Ponyboy comes to after 3 days, then ends up on bedrest for another week, where he displays delusional thought.

The Juvenile Court hearing presumably occurs shortly after that bedrest, as Pony is still not considered fit to testify on the murder, placing it squarely into the month of September.

It's not super clear how long the depressive episode lasts for Pony, but it's long enough that he is failing his classes and Syme is offering to bring him up to a C. Recalling my high school days, overall grades for fall semester were usually evident by like mid October, so I would give Pony 2-3 weeks, maybe a full month before Syme reaches out.

However, we also know Pony was procrastinating on his assignment, it's part of Darry's nagging iirc, so that + the theme being a final project for the semester, it was probably due mid-late November/maaaayyybe early December.

This is where ages come in bc some of the ages we have from the TV Show Bible don't align with the story's events happening in August.

However.

We know that we are reading Ponyboy's theme. It ends cyclical to the beginning, and there's also evident effort on Ponyboy's end to avoid writing profanity into his recollection. He's 14, been to Hell and back, and also procrastinated on his essay. That is to say, I'd believe it if the argument was made that for some of the surviving characters, he just mentioned how old they were at the time of writing.

Side note, too, that the musical does corroborate the main events happening in late August imo, as it explicitly ties the Curtis Parents' deaths to Darry's birthday; Darry was born January 5, and they died 8 months before the story took place; 8 months from January is obviously September, technically. However. Looking at the calendar year for 1967 (the musical is bumped up 2 years), Darry's birthday fell on the first Thursday of January. If Pony's birthday is July 22nd and it's been a month (not confirmed in the musical to have been a month, but confirmed that he would be 15 next July), the Friday Night Drive-In encounter would have been August 25 (literally the first week of school), 7 months and 3 weeks after the crash; technically not 8 months, but extremely close. If we want to push it closer and move the events a week later, then the drive in would have happened September 1.

In conclusion, my proposed book timeline, cross-referenced with calendars and given school start dates:

Tuesday, January 5, 1965—Darry's Birthday, potentially also the death of Curtis Parents

Thursday, July 22, 1965—Ponyboy's 14th birthday

Thursday, August 26, 1965—Pony gets jumped

Friday, August 27, 1965—Pony goes to the drive-in, Johnny kills Bob (technically this happens in the wee hours of Saturday, but the jumping that led to it was a consequence of the drive in so I'm lumping them)

Saturday, August 28-Wednesday, September 1, 1965— (technically the actual time of Bob's murder) + Windrixville hideout + fire + Hospital reunion

Thursday, September 2, 1965—Rumble + Johnny's death + Dally's Death + Pony's concussion

Friday, September 3-Sunday, September 5, 1965—Pony in feverish delirium

Monday, September 6-Sunday, September 12, 1965—Pony on Bedrest

Monday, September 13, 1965—Juvenile Court

Tuesday, September 14, 1965-Depressive fugue begins

Monday, October 11 or 18, 1965—Mr Syme alerts Ponyboy of his failing grade+presents semester's final project in the form of a personal theme.

Mid November, 1965—theme is written

#the outsiders #ponyboy curtis #and while hinton isnt in charge of the adaptations we know she was involved with the movie and has interacted with the musical cast #so she probably approves of the timing benchmarks given therein

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yikesharringrove · 1 year ago

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steve and billy teaching in the same school!! there's these teachers in my school and they work right across the hall from each other. they're always yelling into each others classrooms.

she teaches english lit 101 and he teaches gov 102

"Harrington!"

Some of the kids snickered quietly when Mr. Harrington jumped at the shout from across the hall.

He stared blankly at the last word he had written on the board, the black Expo mark wiggles from where he had jumped at the yell of his name.

He turned around, sighing exaggeratedly at Mr. Hargrove standing in the doorway.

"Kids, excuse my coworker here." He crossed his arms around his chest. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you can Mr. H."

Steve rolled his eyes as his husband swaggered into his classroom, leading a line of ninth graders with him.

It's not the first time Billy's interrupted his class with a question about some inane bullshit that launched Steve into an over-excited rant for the rest of class.

Steve's tenth and eleventh graders were already closing their textbooks, knowing their teacher was just about to be insanely distracted for the rest of class.

"The birds n' I are reading The Crucible."

Fuck.

Steve's pretty sure Billy's kids pay him to bring them across the hall for these impromptu lectures.

"Witch hunts. I get it."

"Yeah, you know. Anyway, I'm giving some context to the publishing of the book. The Red Scare in the United States, well, the second Red Scare, as well as the rise of McCarthyism coincided with the publishing of the play."

Goddammit.

Steve's fucking master's thesis was on all about McCarthyism (more specifically, how the second Red Scare was directly linked to the Lavender Scare.) He cited the stupid play in his research.

Billy knows that. They were already engaged by the time Steve began his master's program.

Fuck this guy, for real.

Steve quietly closed his power point presentation on interest groups in America.

"Fine. Mr. Hargrove's class, find a seat. My class, your packet is still due Friday. I'll post the slides after class." He glared at Billy.

Billy grinned right back, his tongue poking out in that frustrating way it has since high school.

"1950s United States. What do you know?"

A few hands went up.

Even Billy raised his stupid hand. Steve ignored him.

"Which brings us to the end of the decade. With the early 1960s, we have the reformation in the Catholic Church, known as Vatican ll-"

The bell cut him off mid-sentence, and there was a mad scramble as the students all tried to pack up as quickly as possible, before Steve could keep going.

"My class," he nearly shouted over the scraping of chairs against linoleum. "Your packets are still due Friday! I don't care that Mr. Hargrove interrupted our time."

"And birds! The rubric is posted on the class page! I want outlines handed in on Tuesday."

The classroom door closed behind the final kid.

"You're a dick."

Billy laughed.

"Nah, you just teach that shit so much better than I do."

Steve rolled his eyes. He sat behind his desk, yanking over a stack of twelfth grade research assignments to begin grading. Billy perched on the other side of his desk.

"Y'know, you could just ask me to come in and lecture. You don't have to interrupt my own class."

"Yeah, but it's fun to wind you up and watch you go. And I think the birds like it when they see that you're passionate about something. Why do you think I always start with The Joy Luck Club?"

"Because you have mommy issues."

"No. Because Ying-ying's story makes me sob like a bitch, and the birds get to realize that I'm a real-life human."

Steve scrubbed his face with his hands, collecting himself before facing his dumbass husband again.

"Wait, you said they had an essay due. What's the essay?"

"Oh, comparing the Salem Witch Trials and the goings on of the U.S. government in the mid 1950s. You know."

"So, you created an assignment, knowing that I would infodump all that shit to your kids?"

"Yes."

"I want a divorce."

Billy laughed, leaning over Steve's desk to kiss his forehead.

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't. I love you. But also you suck."

The bell sounded to indicate the end of passing period.

Billy got off the desk, stretching with a groan.

"Would you be mad if I brought my senior class in?"

Steve glared at him in the doorway.

"What's the assignment?"

"They're presenting on the parallels between 1984 and the current political climate."

Goddammit.

"Bring 'em in."

#billy calls his students birds bc he's not aloud to call them shitbirds #p much the same reason i call my students gooses #bc of that letterkenny line 'those are canada's fucking gooses'#anyway yeah #read the joy luck club if you haven't it'll make you cry whether or not you have mommy issues #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove #yikes writes

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mymegrokosmos · 7 months ago

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B specifically asked not to be hurt but it's her bday weekend so instead of listening we are writing Yunho smut on this fine Friday evening. Anyway, uh yeah... best friend Yunho. 🔞

content : mentions of drinking, thigh riding, unprotected sex, slightly dubious consent, best friends Yunho and reader fooling around.

The evening started the way Thursdays typically did. You showed up at Yunho's cramped little excuse for an office, shared with the always courteous San and Seonghwa, to find him the only one working late. San was just packing up when you walked in, Wooyoung perched halfway on his desk chattering away as you offered them both a wave. You weaved your way past them, carefully avoiding Seonghwa's little shelf of lego creations, to drop down onto the corner of the desk Yunho typically had half covered in papers and miscellaneous stationary.

"Fancy meeting you here."

He glanced up from his grading, pen tapping against his bottom lip as he sat back with a sigh when he finished the page. "Hello stranger."

You smiled as he ran a hand through his already messy dark hair. It was always in disarray after these classes. His TA position stressing him out more this semester than it usually did. He was better at managing most of the time but his course load was heavy lately and he'd been staying later and later to finish marking and assignments. The balance wasn't exactly work life balancing and you had yet to see him actually sleep once this week.

He ran a hand over his face when you quirked a brow at him, glancing between him and the pile of papers on his desk. "When are these marks due in?"

"Tuesday."

"How many do you have left to get through?"

"Maybe twenty more? I should be able to finish a few more tonight and then run through the rest tomorrow. Then I can sit down and study for that Stats exam Sunday and help you with our presentation Monday."

"And are you planning on sleeping any time between now and then?"

He sighed. "y/n you know I'm doing my best here. I just don't have time."

You shook your head. "Finish that one and I'll borrow Hwa's or Sannie's desk space to sit down and get through more of our presentation. Then we can go back to mine, since Mingi is definitely not going to let you get any sleep tonight, and I'll help you with the rest of these tomorrow."

He blinked up at you. "You've already done like three quarters of the work on this presentation."

"So it won't be much more when I make up 85% and you have a fresh, functioning, brain to look over everything before the final draft Monday. Plus, you're my best bet at actually passing stats and if we're going to be studying all weekend we can at least get some rest in between. And I have plenty of caffeine."

He groaned. "Please do not even talk to me about caffeine right now."

His leg jiggled and you laughed. "On your fifth americano of the day or something are we?"

He shrugged and held up four fingers, biting his lip. You shook your head.

"I'm not even going to ask. Speedrun your marking, I'll be over there and then I'm buying you a drink on the way back to my apartment. If anyone deserves it, it's you. And maybe it'll counteract some of the blood in your caffeine system."

A laugh and then you both turned to set back about your own tasks.

You hummed softly as you worked, only glancing at the time once you'd finished the last section of the powerpoint. Yunho's fresh eyes would catch a ton of small details you'd missed but that was fine. It was why he was always the final run-through on these things. You cracked your back and stretched, pressing save and closing your laptop. You found Yunho pretty much exactly where you had left him.

He sat hunched over his desk, chin resting in one hand as a red pen tapped against one cheek while he poked his tongue into the other. He was so focused or lost in whatever train of thought he was currently jotting down in the margins of the paper he was nearly done that he didn't even start when you came over. You leaned back against the corner of Hwa's desk and watched. He adjusted the glasses on his face as he finished and you bit your lip as he cracked his neck.

"If you keep doing that one of these days you're going to break something important."

It always made you just a little nervous. He grinned, dropping the pen as both arms came up over his head in a stretch you could almost feel. He flopped back into his chair, legs spread, and adjusted the glasses that had begun slipping down over the bridge of his nose. You just sighed and dropped into his lap.

"Done for the night?"

His forehead dropped forward to rest against the back of your shoulder as you cleaned up his desk, hands resting on your thighs as his fingers drew abstract shapes on your jeans.

"Mhm, if I start another one right now I think my head might just explode."

You smiled and started shuffling his things into a pile. "Help me clean up and then we can leave. I have a bottle of soju or seven with your name on them in the fridge."

His little cheer was muffled against the back of your shirt as you both got up.

It didn't take long to walk to your building, your apartment wasn't far from the building all his classes were in this semester and Yunho's long legs forced you to walk a little faster than you would have alone. His presence did make the dark campus feel a little less foreboding so you stuck close as you headed inside and up to your unit.

He followed you in like he always did, at home here since he'd lived part time in your apartment before he and Mingi moved in together last fall. He was more than familiar. You dropped your things in the living room and headed to the kitchen to see what flavours of soju you had available. There was a selection.

It had maybe been a bad idea to suggest alcohol on an empty stomach.

You found yourself half naked, having lost a round of strip poker or two before the takeout arrived, leaning against Yunho's shoulder as you both burst into laughter for what felt like the millionth time in the last hour. The food was great and you shoved another bite into Yunho's mouth before he could launch into another story.

"Please shut up and eat your noodles before I suffocate. I think I broke a rib just now."

He chuckled, taking the chopsticks from you and scarfing down the rest of the container while you wiggled around trying to get your bones to sit right again. Your ribs and face hurt from laughing and you were pretty sure you'd cried off most of your mascara already. You took a deep breath.

"Why do I ever listen to you? You're so ridiculous, you know that?"

He grinned and you couldn't help the way your eyes drifted to his lips, lingering a little as you reached up to brush a bit of sauce from the corner. His breath hitched and you blinked up at your best friend.

"Okay?"

He nodded.

"Sorry, I should have asked first."

He shook his head, hand coming up to capture your wrist. You knew, in theory, that they were large but the ease with which his long fingers circled your wrist had you staring. This was new. Or was it?

You didn't think you were that tipsy.

"Hey Yun?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you pinch me please?"

He smirked. "I can think of something better."

You blinked. His face hovered closer, moving slowly. You didn't stop him. Then his lips were on yours and oh, you were so not dreaming. His teeth nipped at your bottom lip, making you squeak into his mouth and he laughed as he pulled away.

"I can't believe we've never done that before."

You reached up to touch your lips, and then to pinch him.

He jumped. "Yah! Hey! You can just tell me if you didn't like it."

You smiled. "I did like it. I was just making sure I didn't black out and accidentally dream this."

He sighed. "No, we're both still awake. Was that really necessary?"

You shrugged and then you were leaning up to kiss him again. He tasted like soju, what was new there, and the strawberry chapstick Hwa had bought him for his birthday last month. His lips were soft and everything but gentle as they worked against yours. You lit up when his tongue parted your lips and plunged into your mouth, sighing against his lips.

He was a good kisser, you'd give him that. Your hands found his wide shoulders and you braced yourself as you climbed into his lap to get closer. Something about Yunho was just addictive and as long as he was good with where this was going, you didn't want to stop.

He was right, why had you never made out before? You'd definitely gotten drunk and tried other things together over the years. It should have been only natural that this was on the list of experimentation, you'd known him since high school after all, but kissing was just one of those things you'd never dared to initiate with Yunho before now.

His hands were everywhere and you found yourself whining into his mouth when they slid down to cup your ass. He squeezed and you rocked forward, gasping as he adjusted you like you weighed nothing. You let Yunho manhandle you, moving you from his lap to straddling one large thigh. You nipped at his jaw when he pressed your hips down, guiding them over his still jeans-clad leg.

"Yunho." You whined.

It was unfair that he was still so clothed while you sat there in just your underwear. It was a matching set at least but neither of you was really paying attention to that particular detail. You tugged on his shirt and he leaned back to watch you unbutton it, hand coming up to fold behind his head. His eyes were dark as they trailed over you and you could feel the heat pooling in your gut.

"Tell me to stop and we can."

You shook your head. "If you stop now I'm disowning you. Hongjoong is going to be my new best friend."

He laughed and leaned in to press kisses down your neck, humming softly against your skin as you finally managed to get him out of his shirt, shoving it off over his shoulders.

He pulled you back in, one hand on your waist guiding you to rock against his flexed thigh as the other came up to cup your breast. "Do you have any idea how pretty you are like this?"

You hummed. "A mess?"

He shrugged, the hand on your breast moving to unclip your bra in one smooth motion. "For me, yeah, that's hot."

"Mm, because you're the one making me desperate?"

He nodded, head dipping down to catch a nipple in his mouth. You gasped, hand tangling in his hair and he groaned as you tugged when his tongue flicked over your skin.

"You have no idea how desperate you make me. It's nice being the one with the upper hand for once."

Before you could ask what, exactly, he meant by that his hands and mouth busied themselves making it impossible to think. You gave in, only getting a minute to breathe when he flipped you around and pulled you back against his chest.

You leaned your head back, tilting your neck to give his lips better access while his fingers moved to trace your wetness over your panties. He bit down on your shoulder when you gasped, fingers trailing under the fabric to ghost over where you needed him the most. He groaned against your skin and you gasped when one finger slid inside you, slowly sinking up to the knuckle.

"Fuck."

"Mm, too much?"

You shook your head, hand grasping his wrist. "No. No, don't stop."

The chuckle against your neck had you shivering. "Oh, greedy tonight are we? My good girl wants another?"

You struggled to force your eyes open. "Please Yun, feels so good. Fill me up. Please."

He didn't ask again, sinking two more fingers knuckle deep as they continued to pump in and out at his pace. He worked you fast and didn't let up until you were shaking, clawing at his thighs and begging. You were pretty sure you'd started crying and you didn't care, the orgasm that swept over you was worth it.

When you caught your breath enough to whimper his name again he was already pulling out his cock, groaning as he adjusted you on his lap again, legs hooking underneath yours to keep you spread open for him.

"Fuck, you sound so pretty when you cum."

He was stroking himself with the hand that, moments ago, had been mostly inside you. You forced your thighs to cooperate a little longer as you turned to straddle him properly again, hips rocking as his tip slid along your slit, now slick with your own release. He moaned and you found yourself smirking.

Oh, so this was what he had been on about. It did feel good, seeing him such a mess for you, especially when you had barely done anything.

"Let me, please, don't need to be inside but can I...?"

His pathetic whines had you biting your lip and nodding. "Yes, yes Yun. Use me however you need."

You swear he almost came at those words, stopping to stare you dead in the eye and then he was guiding his length along your slit like a man possessed. He felt so good you let your eyes slide shut, hands anchored on his shoulders as you felt him slip inside.

"Mm... just the tip. Please y/n."

His begging nearly undid you. You nodded, hips rolling with his and then suddenly he was grasping you by both hips and slamming up into you. The size of him knocked the breath from your lungs and he groaned.

"Fuck, shit, sorry. Just felt so good. Couldn't help it."

You rocked your hips a little, testing the stretch, and his hips stuttered. You'd never seen him like this and fuck if it wasn't more than a little intoxicating. The breathy moans, the whines as he held himself still just long enough for you to adjust to the sheer length of him pressed fully inside you.

You both paused as he pressed a hand to your pelvis and you caught a glimpse of him bulging in your abdomen. You gasped, he groaned, and then you were being pressed down into the couch while he hovered over you.

"Please please let me do that again."

You guided his hand, back arching as he slammed into you. You watched as he traced his fingers over the outline, cursing under his breath, and whimpered when his pace suddenly went from manic to man on a mission. He was rutting into you so hard he had to hold your waist to keep you from sliding all the way up the length of the couch but neither of you noticed the way the sofa creaked beneath you with every snap of his hips.

By the time he pulled out, hand fisting his cock as he painted your stomach, you were already seeing stars again. You arched up against him, whining and moaning his name as your hand slid down to your clit, fingers working you through your climax while he caught his breath.

"Who knew all needed was to get railed?" You teased, when you glanced up and met his eyes.

He laughed, sweat dripping down his forehead as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. That set you off and then you were both shaking with laughter.

"At least let me clean you up before we make another mess."

#ateez x reader #jeong yunho #university #teaching assistant #ateez scenarios #ateez #yunho x reader #smut

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anonymousdisco · 11 months ago

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How’d I get Isikaid into Yandere Obey Me Chapter Four: Setting into Motion - Part Two

Teachers POV:

I walked into the class a bit tiredly. This part of the school year was always tiring. Most students were never able to level up and advance their studies till close to the end of the school year. Given that it always seemed pointless to hold tests in each class every month.

I stood at the front of the greenhouse looking at all the students. Since today was an advancement day all the students except for the most advanced were gathered in the bottom floor to be monitored during the test.

I cleared my throat before I began to speak. “Good morning class. Today since we are testing remove all devices and put them in the classroom we use on Tuesdays and Fridays. In five minutes we will be starting.” All the students left except for one.

She looked a bit embarrassed as she stood there not moving. Which one was she again? She was clearly a member of the class but she seemed so meek for a demon. A bit innocent compared to the others in the class. When she caught me staring she stuttered out a quick explanation.

”I don’t have a D.D.D.” She seemed nervous. “You can check my bag if you want. All it has is my class things that I need for today.”

I chuckled a bit. “It’s fine. Although it is odd a young demon such as yourself isn’t keeping up with the latest tech…” I mused as I stared at her more closely.

She mumbled a bit at that looking at the ground embarrassment shown on her face. “I can’t work and attend school at the same time due to my schedule being packed so I don’t buy much stuff.”

The other student returned shortly after and I assigned pots. For some reason I felt like assigning her close to the front where I’d have the clearest eye on her work today. “We will be dealing with a very deadly plant today that is carnivorous. If you know you are not ready to do this simply do not attempt. If you end up overwhelmed then stop the test immediately and inform me of your forfeit. There is no shame in admitting you are in over your head.” I made a particular glance at the pride circle demons in my class as I said the last part knowing how stubborn they can be.

”You will began now. You have one hour to present me with your pots. You are allowed to finish early but take your time.” I clapped my hand signaling them to start.

(Y/N) POV:

Unlike the other students I do not approach my pot. Instead I take out a notebook from my purse and a pen. I sketch a small picture of the seeds sitting on the desk in-front of me. Once done with that I take out a different colored pen to write my observations on the seeds shape and size. I make careful notes on what the teacher said about it being carnivorous. Using this I narrowed it down to a Hallowing Rose. It was the only plant that fit since it matched the seeds look and also was one of the few plants that grows fast enough to reach adulthood in twenty minutes.

The problem with cultivation with this plant though was touching the seeds. It was protected by a layer of acid miasma that was produced by the plant itself to protect the seeds. It could seep through even the most protective material. There was only one way to get past that and it took thirty minutes to prepare.

All throughout my writing I made sure to keep an anxiety ridden face with an air of concentration. I went over to the other side of the green house where a couple cauldrons were set up with various supplies for plant based potions scattered about. I gathered everything needed and made sure to keep slightly unsteady nervous hands.

I made myself seem to pause for a second and breathe. When I was done I made it look like I was determined rather than scared and move quickly and cautiously through all the steps. When I was done I grabbed the potion bottle and carried it over to the bowl my seeds sat in and soaked them for the required time. Once done I planted them straight into the pot quickly before watering them with a bit of the blood filled watering cans available. Most everyone had finished by now and time was almost out.

Soon when there was only five minutes left and I was only student still there I was ready. I walked up timidly hiding begins my pot as I handed it to the teacher stuttering out nervously, “I’m done sir.”

Teacher POV:

I looked at the Howling Rose in amazement. Never had I seen a student give such results before. The roses dripped blood from their petals as they seemed to croon a melancholy howl that was what their name sake came from. Despite such wonderful results the girl before me seemed timid. “I failed again didn’t I? I never pass any tests…” She murmured sadly eyes on the ground.

”As a matter of fact you passed.” Her head whipped up an expression of disbelief on her face. “I look forward to seeing you in the second floor next class that we have. Now go so you’re not late for your next class.”

I gently showed her out before looking at her class records at my desk. She was a wonderful student. A genius practically till you looked at her test. Did she have… test anxiety? How could such a thing be missed till now?! Just who was responsible for her education?

I making a decision used the schools D.D.D landline to call the head of schools secretary. Getting no reply I called the head of the school instead. When he picked up I made sure to sound apologetic. “My apologies Lord Diavolo if this is a bad time. This is about a students need for accommodation for testing. I believe Miss (Y/N) Morningstar has test anxiety. She is practically a genius but her mental issues with anxiety is holding her back. If she could have the right accommodations I’m sure you would see it too.”

”Whatever she needs get it done.” I heard Lord Diavolo voice and it sounded like he was… protective in a way of this student. Perhaps because she was a student council member?

”Understood I’ll inform her other teachers.” I get ready to do so about to hang up when he speaks.

”No need I’ll have it handled personally by Barbatos.” I feel shocked at this but I do as told. “You are dismissed.” He hung up shortly after saying that. I sit there wondering just who is she to him for him to be so serious.

Barnatos POV:

I wasn’t expecting the Young Master to need me to handle something else so soon but when I heard who it was for I was happy to do it immediately. I rushed through the school quickly getting everything ready before approaching (Y/N) carefully trying not to startle her.

”Barbatos…?” She tilted her head shyly. “Were you in need of something? I’m on my way to my next test.”

”Yes I need you to follow me. Your testing location has changed. In fact your entire classroom experience will be facing some changes. You are now going to be following the schedule of our more delicate student population.” I smiled reassuringly without thinking. I liked taking care of her like this. She looked so adorable when she was shy and embarrassed.

”But Barbatos I’m fine where I am. I manage as I’m needed to.” She looked at me worried by what I said.

”Nonsense. You need help with your test anxiety so you will follow the schedule of the schools special students who get the needed accommodation.” I make my voice slightly stern and try not to regret it when her eye tear up slightly.

”But if I’m only at school for half the day then…” She sniffled slightly, “I won’t be able to to attend student council… and if that happens I won’t see my-“ She stops herself from speaking abruptly as if trying to avoid revealing something.

I speak to her gently, “Leviathan attends such a schedule himself and he is still on the student council. It will be fine, (Y/N).” She looked up at me hesitantly while fiddling.

”Alright then if you insist…” She followed me as I showed her to the back of the school. Once we reached room 2017 I opened the door and showed her inside.

”This is the only classroom you have to worry about now. It has a desk for your work as well as what ever devices you’ll need. There is a laptop bag in one of the drawers that you can take too and from school. You will only spend half the day on school work now, and are only required to do school in this room on testing days. Otherwise you can do it from home on your laptop just make sure to be present for all student council meetings.” I explained as I helped her get settled putting some tea on her desk. “You are done testing for the day since you are only allowed to test once per day now. You can complete two to three classes a day now at your leisure.”

She nodded along taking careful note in a worn notebook that was clearly well loved and used. I smile at her calmly at how cute it was. “Thank you for taking the time to do this Barbatos.” When was the last time I was thanked so sweetly for doing something…? It made my heart a bit fuzzy.

”Your welcome dear.” I left her to her own thoughts as I walked away finding a spot to continue to monitor her discretely as I had been ordered to by my young master.

Diavolo:

~Affection: 29%

“She’s struggling in school. How could none of us notice?! She’s so determined to be able to try to push herself through school anyways. It’d be cute if it wasn’t the for the fact she must have felt like she was drowning trying to keep up her grades. I’ll have to talk to Lucifer during our weekly one on one meeting together.”

~Relation- Kindred spirit in loneliness and fierce mental protector

~Danger Level- Green

Barbatos:

~Affection: 27%

“She’s so determined to be a part of the council even if it hurts her mentally with the strain of trying to keep up in school. Could it be she is trying to keep up with her brothers and spend time with them? How adorable that is. Quiet demons like her who don’t cause me any trouble are so pleasant to take care of.”

~Relation- Silent Observer, ???

~Danger Level- Green

Next Chapter:

https://www.tumblr.com/anonymousdisco/758068502385115136/howd-i-get-isikiad-into-yandere-obey-me-chapter?source=share

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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months ago

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Anon Advice Asks - May 4

outlet anon, syllabus anon, elton john anon (new), maths project anon (new), not straight anon (new)

outlet anon

Hey Cas, Outlet anon here. I have (perhaps unfortunately) not Ascended, but that's probably for the best. (Btw I don't drink coffee very often, it's usually only when I've already pulled an all-nighter or two and need another one, (Yay finals :/) but I'll keep what you said in mind and stick to non-dangerous levels next time)

Okie doke...

First off, I ended up not talking to Doll about it until Wednesday (sending this Thursday morning) in part bc I wanted your opinion first, but mostly because I forgot. When I did, it was basically just You're important, I care about you, You're allowed to ask me for help, You're allowed to be selfish and take things for yourself, Okay?. Her response was something like 'Okay, it's just going to take me a while' and then she sent me a pin on pinterest later that day that pretty much 'I love you', so I think Success.

Next up, Probably Bad Decision #1,143,764: Doing Doll's work. Everything ended up being fine, but this had the potential to fuck me over astronomically. So she had done I think three assignments the whole semester, meaning I needed to do around thirty or forty to get her grade up. It took me three days (Friday-Sunday) and three all-nighters and I had to push back my own work. I don't even remember anything that happened on Monday, and the only part of the weekend I'm 100% sure happened is Sunday night. I passed out for a couple hours Monday night then dragged myself out of bed around 3am because I had a presentation due Tuesday afternoon that I had neglected in favor of Doll's work. BUT I got all the stuff done that needed to be done + a couple assignments due at the end of the week.

I want to talk about the reason I did it. Yes, she's my friend and I love her, but in all honesty... I did it because I'm not worth anything if I'm not useful, and if I'm not useful then Doll wouldn't want me around. I saved her ass, so now she's in my debt and would feel bad if she got rid of me. I know that's not true and whatever, but I was (unintentionally) raised to equate love to usefulness; I only got attention when I was in trouble (I still have breakdowns when someone raises their voice at me) or being helpful, otherwise I was ignored. I don't believe anyone can love me just for me. I do things and put effort into them, even when I don't have to, to make up for the fact that it's me. To apologize for the fact that I'm the one that did it.

I love silently for the most part and don't voice it very often. You'd think that means I can be loved silently, too, but I really can't. It doesn't even cross my mind that someone might care about me if they don't say it, and even then I need constant reassurance. But I don't get reassurance. The people I love are also people who love silently. So it ends up being I don't think they care about me. And. Like. I'm fine with that, though. In a twisted, messed up way. I'm okay with not being wanted as long as I'm needed, because if I'm needed then someone has a reason to care about me. I still would've done Doll's work regardless of if she ever looked in my direction again.

But I'm a walking contradiction. I need to be needed and don't care about being wanted, but at the same time I'm so terrified of getting left behind that as soon as I sense I've outgrown my use, I pull away. When I was younger, I got my heart shattered because My Person (like, if soulmates are real, they were mine) pulled away and left me bleeding out on the side of the road (metaphorically). They were the last person I ever believed loved me without needing something from me.

When I love someone, I can't just love them a little bit. I'm like James Potter in that way, because I give my entire soul to everyone I care about, and then I become Too Much Too Fast because it's not that deep for anyone else. But I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to just care a little bit. My friends become my entire world, and each and every one of them takes a little piece of my heart when they inevitably leave. I don't know how much I have left to give.

Anyway. Sorry for how long that is. Other than getting no sleep, nothing much has happened in my life, I'm just really looking forward to the end of the semester.

Cheers <3

Hi <3

Honestly you seem to have a very good understanding of yourself. but the thing is, you DESERVE to be loved for who you are, not just for what you do. And I think that goes along with like...being able to set boundaries, and take care of yourself, and put yourself and your heath (and sleep) first. Do you have access to mental heath care? A therapist can be really helpful when learning how to set boundaries, you know?

___

syllabus anon

Hey, syllabus anon here! Yeah, the trip went well and all, he was very nice to me and it was very cute. But now it's back to normal. I think I am the sort of person that cannot, like, keep texting for hours and stuff like that. Because almost all the time there's nothing to talk about. And for the past few days it's just me trying to drag a conversation as long as it'd last.

So yesterday I asked him what was wrong (like I'd always been doing), and he told me that he'd had this on his mind since right after our trip — that he felt as if I never gave him any consideration. As if he was just boyfriend by name. I was shocked. I had never meant to make him feel thaat way, and the fact that he'd just kept it to himself made me very upset. I tried to talk to him, to tell him what was going on with me. I think I have told you before, that this is both of ours' first relationship, and I'm particularly shy about such things, and since we meet in person for so less often, it takes time for me to open up and all. But I try my best. I told him that. I told him everything I wanted to tell him.

Then he just closed back up again. He said that he wished he'd never told me, like he wished he'd never started this conversation. That we had not started talking about this. I asked what use is that, because if we don't talk about things like this from the beginning, how are we supposed to move forward well? Keeping things like this to ourselves just hurts each other more. Whenever he goes all closed off and moody suddenly on me, I just get so upset. Because it makes me feel as if I did something wrong, and he wouldn't tell me. I told him that too.

And he told me to forget about it, and the conversation, and that we could just go back to normal. And he also immediately went back to normal. We didn't talk much after that, but that "just boyfriend by name" thing hurt me so bad. I have no idea how we're going to move forward from this. Because next year is busy academically for me, busier than the last one had been. It's very important for my future career and all, and I need to work hard. So if he already feels like he doesn't get any consideration from me, what will he do next year? I feel like a bad person sometimes, thinking about all this. I don't know if I'm doing the wrong thing. There are moments I wish this relationship had never started at all. I should have just remained single.

Hi!

"I asked what use is that, because if we don't talk about things like this from the beginning, how are we supposed to move forward well? Keeping things like this to ourselves just hurts each other more."

THIS. SO MUCH THIS. And the thing is, that means there's not much you CAN do. Because like....you can't force someone to talk. So you kind of have to decide what YOU need. Do you want to keep trying, or is this something that is hurting you too much? I think based on how much you've tried, and what he's said, it's clear this isn't on you.

If you want to do more, I think the only other thing you can do is out-andout say 'hey, if we don't fix this, I'm done' because he has to get his head out of his ass and communicate. But if you don't want to do that, if that's not your style, you're well within your rights to leave. Sometimes relationships are meant to teach us something, and it might be that you've learned what you needed from this one and it's time to go.

___

elton john anon

I would like to tell you a story

In 2016 my family and I went to an Elton John concert. He was playing his newest album at the time, Wonderful Crazy Night. Which pretty much sums up how the night went. It was incredible.

At the end of the concert, my sister (who is 4 years older than me) bought a t-shirt. I loved that t-shirt and I was so jealous I didn’t get one, but life went on.

Last year we were going through some boxes of our old stuff and I found the t-shirt. I don’t know why but when I saw it I got so emotional. I was crying over a t-shirt that wasn’t even mine. Since it had been 8 years since my sister bought that shirt it (unsurprisingly) didn’t fit her. It did, however, fit me. So I begged my sister if I could have it, and because she is the best person in the world, she gave it to me. To this day it is still my favourite thing to wear. Every time I see it it brings back memories of a night I don’t remember that clearly. Listening to that album and wearing the shirt so many years later just feels like I’m going back in time to a place I wasn’t so stressed all the time. It’s my favourite feeling

Elton John will forever be my favourite artist; his music reminds me of my childhood and singing in the car with my dad and my sister. My mum was never a huge fan, although I think she likes him more now.

I don’t know why I wanted to tell you this, I think I just wanted to share this story with somebody because all of it means a lot to me

aww this is such a nice story! I feel like most people have a singer or band like this...one that just stays with them. I'm so glad your sister gave you the shirt <3

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maths project anon

Caaaaaas help meeeeeee

So I took maths this year and had two absolutely horrific teachers (great as people, horrible at teahing)

We had a really big project that was worth around 30% of my overall grade and the teacher that was handling that side of the course barely helped me even though ive done nothing like this before. I can count on one hand the amount of times he's helped me.

Hed say he'd go around the whole class but never get to me (most of the time getting to helping the two girls next to me but almost never me.)

Every time I would put my hand up to ask for his help he'd always be busy with someone else

He also said he'd print me out a template I could use (and spoiler alert: he never did)

This ended up with me only getting my introduction done and I didn't even bother sending it away to the people that mark it.

Now my other teacher handled the finance side of things and just could not explain basically anything in a way that made sense to me even after multiple attempts

He was supposed to teach us how to use excel (and he did try) but nothing he said ever made sense

Anyway this has all ended up in me being cornered by the head of the math department at my school after finishing another exam and being told I'm not gonna pass and they can remove my name from the exam if I want and if I dont respond by Wednesday (the 7th) they'll assume I don't want to do the exam

But the thing is I don't know how to tell my parents

I wasn't going to go to the exam anyway but I just can't decide if I should tell them, not tell them and attempt the exam or say I'm going and just kind of hang about the school until it would be done

But I've already been kicked out of classes like this for the last two years

I can't disappoint them again

I already know how my mum will take it, she'll be really mad at the teachers and not me

But I'm scared my stepdad will blame me and say its my fault

Because I think it might be my fault or it might be the teachers fault or it might be a mix of both I can't really tell

maybe I could've studied more and atleast I could've known the theory? I could've tried harder to get help for my project?

My mum was literally saying today that one thing about me that really annoys her is the fact that I'm a "defeatist" and I "give up so easily" and I don't know how to tell her that I practically gave up again

The only upside to this is I already have a basic qualification in maths and a place in college

But I heavily fear my stepdad will think I've wasted an entire year instead of getting a job (which he has been practically harassing me to do since I turned 18, but that's a rant for another day)

Sorry this is so long and sorry this is all being dumped on you but I had no idea who else to turn to

Thanks Cas

Hi!

Okay so I'm a bit confused on the requirements for the exam, the course, the project, etc, BUT

Looking at this from a teacher POV, I'd say that both you and the teacher hold blame. The teacher could have done a lot better about giving you the help you need, and that's not your fault at all. It sounds like they're not a very good teacher. But also, I wonder if you might have had opportunities to talk to the teacher after class, or during office hours/extra help hours?

I think before you tell your parents or decide on the exam, you should talk to the head math teacher about getting more time on the project. Explain that there wasn't a lot of time to get help in class, and hope for the best. If they say yes, then you need to ask for help. Contact the teachers who can help you, schedule time to meet and go over the things you don't understand. I know it's daunting, but it's necessary sometimes. If they say no, ask what they suggest for you to get as much credit as possible for the class, and do that. That way you have something to show your parents, you know? But yeah, don't tell your parents until you have a set plan.

Whatever you're doing, try to break it into small, less-scary parts. It's easy to give up when you have a big scary thing to do, but little things can sometimes make you feel better.

Wishing you luck!

____

not straight anon

Hey Cas. I think I might be not straight.

I’m a little scared. Some of my family is really homophobic (thankfully not so much my parents or siblings that I live with) so the idea that I might like girls is like. Really scary. Like, if one day I got a girlfriend I could not bring her to my grandparents’ house and I’d probably have to cut ties with my grandmother. I don’t know who to talk about it with, really. I have one friend, but she’s straight and it’s still scary and new. I know my mom would be loving, but I don’t know how seriously she would take it, y’know? I kind of don’t want to bring it up until I’m more certain. I’m also ace, and its really hard for me to distinguish between romantic and aesthetic attraction for people, which is Not Helping. And I’m Catholic, which adds a whole other layer of guilt and anxiety to the whole thing, despite finding a bunch of other queer people who are secure in their faith. I think I’ve been lowkey traumatized by my grandmother and her views, and find it hard to believe that most people don’t think like her. But girls are just,,, so pretty sometimes? Help?

Sorry for the rant, this has been brewing in my head for like a month and I wanted to just get it out. You’re the first person I’ve told, so thank you so much for being a safe space for so many people.

Love ya and hope you have a great day :)

Hi <3

I'm so honored you chose to tell me. I completely understand why you're scared. Coming out, or considering coming out, is scary for everyone, but especially someone like you who might not be supported by everyone.

I think what you're doing is exactly right--looking for people to be in your support system. You said you found queer people who are secure in their faith. Can you continue to seek out queer people in your life that could be safe for you? Does your school have a GSA, maybe, or something similar? Building a support system is always important, but I think it'll make you feel safer, and help you decide what to do.

Sending love!

#outlet anon #syllabus anon #elton john anon #maths project anon #not straight anon #asks #ask #ask cas

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