#i have such a weird expectation of like. what constitutes a $!?[<< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[queenerdloser]

arggggggh so the writing sample i want to use for my grad school apps is a portion of one of my novels in progress except that it's a portion that's still VERY rough and part of a novel that's still being drafted and i've been having SO MUCH trouble writing this stupid thing. and i'm like. okay maybe i SHOULD just do short story excerpts like i have some fairly polished short stories that will probably be stronger works. but genuinely i'm a novelist at heart and i don't plan to write short stories, i plan to write. this novel. in grad school lol like this is what i want to write as a project there. but i'm worried i won't have enough time to refine the sample and i really don't want to submit something half-done arggggggh

[dontsayitditto]

I enjoy the personalities of the lightsum girls a lot and I think they're very sweet especially after watching fromis9 vids which are just a bunch of annoying dickheads who are older and have been doing idol stuff for way longer the lightsum girls are such sweeties

[so-i-did-this-thing]

People arguing with 3 year old posts of mine on what constitutes as "middle age", an annoyance to begin with, compounded by the fact they misread and think I was referring to one's 30s, instead of one's 40s.

I'm Gen X, and culturally, hitting age 40 was "over the hill." My folks and their friends would throw gag-laden parties at this milestone -- it was very much seen as the solid beginning of middle age. Age 50 was another milestone, treated practically as "one foot in the grave".

I'm glad that the culture is shifting towards retaining your youthful passions. I've noticed these birthdays tend to have less fanfare among the younger folks in my age cohort, as well as among Millenials. But even if you look at the average human life expectancy, it's hard to argue that one's 40s is anything but a midpoint.

That doesn't need to be a scary thing, and my late 40s have ended up being some of the best years of my life, in spite of the world being on fire. As a trans person, I wear middle age as a badge of honor. I survived.

So, come on, please stop being so weird on this one. It feels like for some of y'all, "middle age" has crept up to 55-65, and that just makes me feel you fear death, to quote Moonstruck.

[meanbossart]

How do Drow and Astarion go about Astarion’s whole “Vampires can’t be in direct sunlight without burning up” thing after the main quest is complete?

By having really weird sleeping schedules, basically!

In my little fic A Novel Experience, DU drow purchases a wagon and an ox for them to travel out of Baldur's Gate and start a life elsewhere (generally take a huge load off), at that point, their days constitute of DU drow and Shadowheart waking up early and dividing chores. The drow does the hunting and the cooking/ration keeping and anything that requires more elbow grease. Shadowheart took care of the ox, helped him clean skins and keep inventory of their resources, as well as used magic to aid in their daily tasks (a whole lot of firebolt, create water, casting silence around them for hunting, etc).

These are all daylight errands and, in the meantime, Astarion would be inside the wagon bored out of his mind and entertaining himself with Shadowheart's growing literary collection - something I headcanon her getting into out of a curiosity for aspects of the world she was sheltered from while living in the Sharran cloister. Nothing is really expected of him in this period, so he gets to enjoy being stuck in a little hot box while his friends and partner do everything, including collecting animal blood for him to drink. DU drow is fully convinced that this is a good and functional arrangement.

During night time they can all interact properly, and usually this means staying up late. DU drow and Shadowheart probably sleep a LOT, from like 4am to 2pm given how much they exert themselves.

After reaching a town their schedules become a little more independent. DU drow becomes more of short-bursts type of sleeper and is usually up for a few hours in the very early morning, asleep in the afternoon, and then awake throughout most of the evening and night. Astarion's schedule is somewhat similar minus the morning part, he also gets to be a lot more active at this point and is often at a vampiric friend's house come late-night. Shadowheart's is a bit more normal, with a slight propensity for staying up late but nothing as extreme as the other two. All in all they do tend to all be awake in the evenings.

The city in question they stay in at this point also has tall buildings and tight streets, so Astarion gets a little bit of leeway if he needs to step out at sunrise\sundown, as there are plenty of spots that don't see the sun for hours at a time due to the local architecture.

I'm sure this is something they would just have to continuously adjust for throughout their lives depending on necessity and habit. What is interesting though is that it does lead to Astarion and DU drow always living just SLIGHTLY different lives because of their schedules. DU drow will always be more useful during daytime for one reason or another; Astarion will always secretly look forward to having a few hours for himself when the night is dark and his partner is asleep. Also, they both have a need for independence, though for vastly different reasons. In conclusion: they just wing it, I guess!

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

I don't kiss and tell

Little drabbles where creator!reader gets pregnant and the archons get into a witch hunt

Wc: ~600

Sumeru’s specialty tea is delicious, the lightest taste of anise and black tea with an array of spices that you couldn't even begin to pinpoint. The youngest archon besides you is talking your ear off about the origins and constitution of the tea, the exports it has and how it is different from the teas you tasted in Liyue. 

The only thing souring the atmosphere was the bickering and yelling voices from across the table

“Your dirty citizens are libertine enough to attempt to lie besides a god!” The electro archon points her finger at the anemo archon, her nose scrunched and her teeth bared

“Mine?! I doubt anyone would dare to! At most I imagine they wanted to be close friends!”

The tsaritsa rolls her eyes and mutters something along the lines of ‘very close friends it seems’

“You doubt? You don't sound too sure about that. I'm confident nobody from my nation would dare to make advances on them” zhongli blows on his cup and sips on it

“Didn't the trip get behind schedule around sumeru? I remember Neuvillette was stressed because the welcome had to be rearranged by a week” Furina grabs a piece of cake, playing with the cherry on top.

“ah?!” Nahida gasps as she is chatting with you. She taps her chin ”I can't remember a chance they had alone so I would say it's impossible”

“And why did the trip take an extra week? I was never truly sure about that” zhongli asks her 

“Oh, I was dead set on going to Aaru village and having a quick view to the pyramids” you chuckle a bit, seeing how nahida was upset at the accusations.

“Isn't it weird that Miss Furina is here too? Even if we named it archon meeting it's meant more as a head of state so I was expecting the great judge to be seated here” Raiden points that out

“E-eh?!” She gasps as she leans away from the purple piercing gaze “He was just unable to come so he asked me” 

“Isn't that convenient?”

The tsaritsa sighs and stops tapping her fingers on the wood table. Now looking at you she says “I'm sorry if it's too impolite but can't you cut us the chase and tell us who it was?”

You look away, a tiny strained laugh slipping through your teeth “I think I prefer his safety, thanks” 

“No, thank you”

“At the very least what nation is he from?” 

The next months there was special attention paid to particular carvings or newly acquired habits

“Isn't it curious how they are suddenly so in love with grape juice? Didn't your nation have a winemaker who preferred grape juice?” The tsaritsa asks, a stiff smile painted on her face.

“And didn't they also like a seafood soup that also happened to be one of your harbinger's specialties?” venti matches her energy, already fed up with the fourth accusation 

“Don't make me send someone to kick your ass again”

“I doubt a pile of ashes could put up much of a fight” 

“Our grace has been taking longer walks lately, buer, maybe they are trying to get closer to the dendro element” 

“they told me they wanted to feel the breeze better, that might be it, Beel”

“Why do I get dragged into every discussion?!” Venti yelps from the kitchen

“Doctor baizhu told me to keep an eye on them, the pregnancy seems to have made them crave rocks

“Isn't baizhu from Liyue, lord of Geo?” 

“And also ice cubes, tsaritsa. It reminds me, wasn't one of your harbingers also in Liyue at that time to close a deal with the Tianquan?”

“Why does everyone think is someone from my nation did it?!”

“Nation of freedom…”

“The biggest wine and sparkling wine importer…”

“You used your week to go bar hopping..”

“You are a weak and unimposing leader…”

“That part sounded more personal than anything!”

[batty4vamps]

19, Paul

First prompt request! This one kind of ran away with me, I hope you like it :)

19. “Is this mine?” “…no?” with Paul

Includes: gn reader, suggestiveness

Prompt List

Where the hell was that damn lighter?!

You’d let Paul borrow your zippo one time, and now it had suddenly disappeared into the aether.

As you ripped the pillows off the couch, you noticed something.. red. And lacy. In fact, this item seemed rather familiar to you.

You went absolutely red in the cheeks, slamming the cushion back down.

Marko and Dwayne turned to you, confused.

“What? Find one of those giant ass rats again?”

Marko would never forget the shriek you let out last time you found a gift from his pigeons. Laughing, he began to make his way over.

In a minute panic, you flopped down onto the couch, trying to play your mortification off.

“No- no, luckily, just a… just a weird stain. Probably blood.”

Marko arched an eyebrow, about to speak before being interrupted by Dwayne.

“I would think after this long living here, you would’ve gotten used to that”

The taller man crossed his arms. He was calling your bluff.

“I mean, usually it doesn’t bother me, but it was fresher than I was expecting. It’s fine, I’m just gonna sit for a minute.”

You sighed, maybe playing up the shock would convince them until they left.

Dwayne thought for a moment before smirking, going to question you some more.

“Fresh? We haven’t had anyone here in a while, right Marko?”

Marko smirked, understanding what they were doing now.

“Yeah, you’re right- no one but us, and you, have been down here since that scare with the sisters”

You winced a bit. In the boys defense, you hadn’t thought the ex nuns would have holy water on them either.

In any case, they knew you were lying. You could either fess up now, or commit to the bit, and there was no way in hell they were going to see your lingerie tonight.

“Huh- weird. Maybe it was the pigeons?”

Marko shook his head. You should’ve assumed he’d know his pigeon’s handiwork better than you.

“They leave bones, not just blood. Plus, they would smell. They don’t.”

“Not true.”

Dwayne chimed in. He was right, the pigeons definitely did smell. Maybe not like blood, but they weren’t fresh as a daisy either.

Before you could come up with another excuse, Dwayne stepped towards you.

“How about we just look at the stain?”

Marko nodded, following Dwayne. You planted your feet on the ground, hoping they wouldn’t be curious enough to lift you.

“No! I mean- it’s just a blood stain. Looks like the usual ones you guys leave behind. I really don’t wanna stand yet, okay?”

Still suspicious, but perhaps feeling slight pity for your human constitution, they stilled.

“Okay, so it’s just a normal blood stain. Where did it come from?”

Dwayne asked, unconvinced. Marko sighed, taking the seat in the couch next to you.

“It definitely wasn’t us- I’m starving.”

You shrugged before having a frankly fabulous idea. If there was one thing you knew could distract the boys, it was turning them on each other.

“You mean it wasn’t you two. That still leaves 2 blood suckers unaccounted for.”

Now you had their attention.

“We hunt together, you know that.”

Dwayne crossed his arms, looking to Marko for a response. Marko was still turned to you, brows furrowed.

“Why the hell would David or Paul bring a snack down here without us?”

“Paul’s too loud, it was definitely David. Maybe he didn’t want to share? You know how he is”

Even now, you made sure your boyfriend wasn’t involved in your bullshit. How romantic.

The boys remained silent for a moment. They knew you were messing with them, but they also couldn’t help wanting to check, just in case. After looking between you and each other, Dwayne sighed.

“Fine. We’ll talk to David.”

With the look on his face it read more like *fine, we’ll leave you alone*

Marko had already gotten up and started making his way to the mouth of the cave, shouting as he left.

“But you know when we get back you’re gonna have to tell us, and him, what you actually found-”

Soon Dwayne followed, less hurried, clearly not eager to confront David.

You let out a deep breath

After a moment of mortification, and checking no one was there, you snatched the underwear from under the cushion.

Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, you made your way deeper into the cave. As you had almost navigated to your (frightfully unhelpful) boyfriend’s cove, you came face to face with the man himself.

“Hey hot stuff- where’ve you been-“

Paul’s hands immediately met your waist, pulling you flush with him. You were rigid, not having any of it.

“Turn around”

“Huh?”

“Your room, now”

You glared at him, keeping the garment in your closed fist as you hurried him back in the direction he came.

He put his hands up, walking back to the room and flopping onto his own couch.

“What’s up your ass today? And why isn’t it me?”

You finally let the underwear out of your fist, it spilling into a line of red lace.

“Are these mine?”

Paul smiled seeing the lingerie, lost in recollection for a moment before looking back to your face. His smile then dropped quite quickly.

He sensed he should chose his words carefully.

“Uh… no?”

You gave him an unamused look, crossing you arms.

“Oh? Whose are they then?”

He shrugged, leaning back on the couch.

“I don’t fuckin know, probably some poor chick Dwayne boned-“

“No one’s been down here besides us since the sister incident”

Paul made a face. He had been in the splash zone, it wasn’t a pretty picture.

“Okay, okay, fine, they’re yours, but.. hey, wait a minute, why the guess-my-underwear game anyway? Not my fault you leave ‘em here”

He smirked. It absolutely was his fault. You hated that you wanted to smile, you were supposed to be mad at him!

“I leave them here, in this room, not between the couch cushions in the damn living room-“

Paul burst out laughing.

“Holy shit- did Marko find ‘em? You ain’t ever living that one down, huh?”

You rolled your eyes. His inability to take anything serious was truly his best and worst quality.

“No, but I had to sic him and Dwayne on David so they didn’t see me grab them.”

You tossed the underwear into a pile of clothes and sat down on the couch with Paul, swinging your legs up onto his lap.

“Uh oh- you know that’s gonna come back on you, right?”

You sighed, nodding. David would know you’d been messing with them the moment the boys starting yapping. They’d be even more intent on knowing what you’d found when they checked the cushion and saw nothing.

“Well it was that, or show your brothers my underwear-“

He was struck by a second burst of laughter. He was enjoying every minute of this.

“Paul! Cmon- stop laughing and tell me why these were in the living room, please-”

Paul shook his head, almost unable to breathe with laughter as he patted your leg.

“You. You put them there.”

You glared again. You knew two things for certain about this scenario. 1. These were yours, and 2. You did not put them in the couch.

“I absolutely did not”

He put a hand over his heart in mock offense and frowned dramatically.

“Aww really? I remember you saying it was “the best Valentine’s Day ever”- but I guess after a night like that I can forgive it being a little blurry for you”

You stared at him in confusion for a moment before once again going well and truly red.

Valentine’s Day. You and Paul’s first as a couple. He’d managed to kick the rest of the boys out of the cave for the night, making it up all romantic. He’d even cooked a candle lit dinner… that he’d promptly forgot about seeing the present you’d prepared for him.

You slid the dark red lace down your thighs, stuffing them to your side with an eagerness.

“Hey- I like those, don’t lose ‘em”

You’d laughed at Paul’s attachment, too excited to care about the fate of the underwear in the moment.

“Oh god! It was me-“

Paul nodded before descending into a fit of giggles once again. Seeing the look on your red face, he couldn’t help it. After a moment of stewing in embarrassment, you joined him.

“I can’t believe I forgot- thank god no one found them in the last month-“

He pulled you in his lap by the legs, shaking his head as he managed to catch his breath.

“I’m just happy to have those back- they made your ass look incredible-“

You blushed further, leaning back and pulling him over you as you sighed.

“You always think my ass looks incredible”

Paul smirked, a palm moving to grab your butt as he leaned over you. You recognized the look on his face.

“Duh… you think the guys are gonna be out for long?”

You smiled back up at him, your laughter becoming contained under his gaze.

“Long enough”

[sambhavami]

Please tell me more about satyabhama? I know the basic details but I need more because I am planning fic with her(horror and urban fantasy? of sorts?) but I do not know anything aaaa.. No pressure tho. But also I love it when you make posts about individual characters.

Sure! I love talking about her too! ❤️ Of course, I'll put it right here..most of this is coming from Dr. Bhaduri's work, and a little from here and there.

Yayati -> Yadu -> Kroshtu (wives Gandhari & Madri) -> Sumitra -> Nighna -> Satrajit -> Satyabhama. Below is a diagram as provided by Dr. Bhaduri in the 1st part of his commentary series 'Katha Amrita Saman' (I know Vasudeva's father's name is weird here. It should be Aryaka-Shoora. It could be a printing issue or a missed block or just me being dense, but I just translated exactly what was there for transparency).

The parliament of Mathura-Dwarika was, in their lifetime, led by a group of 10 advisors with Ugrasena in a capacity similar to modern-India's President. These 10 advisors were: Udhhava, Vasudeva, Kanka, Viprithu, Shvaphalka (Akroora), Chitraka, Gada, Satyaka, Balarama and Prithu. Yuyudhana Satyaki was the commander-in-chief of their combined army.

These ministers were also 'governors' of their own area, most notably, Ugrasena ruled in modern-day Mathura, Vasudeva closer to Meerut and Akroora in areas adjacent to Gujarat. The whole kingdom was not consistently a single blob, just a loose cooperation with quarrels to the n-th level, only with a shared court, parliament and constitution. Only under Kamsa's rule it was all one proper kingdom with him as the dictator.

How their oligarchy worked is that each of the ministers (not just the above people) had their own pieces of the army, loyal only to them, which they either rented out to other kingdoms (like Kritavarma during Kurukshetra, and Krishna kind-of with his Narayani-sena). Only during moments of national crises (like, Jarasandha and his attacks), they all came together to make one formidable Yadava army.

Now, syamantaka. This gem is linked so intrinsically with Satyabhama, that you cannot mention one without the other.

This gem was apparently gifted to her father Satrajit by Surya. Another source however identifies it with the lost gemstone that used to be on the crown of the early Yadava King Madhu, whose son Lavana Ramayana's Shatrughna defeats.

Scared that Krishna might ask to keep it himself, on account of him having saved them all from Kamsa, Satrajit gives it to his older brother Prasena to guard (many puranas confirm Krishna was indeed gearing up to do so, and Satrajit was scared to say no and hence he moved it out of his own house).

As per Harivamsha, Krishna actually went to Prasena to ask for the gem, but Prasena refused and redirected him to Satrajit. The brothers ping-pong him between them for quite some time. Krishna could have just taken it by force, but he refused to create another point of contention within the Yadavas by pitting himself against Satrajit. This issue starts after Krishna's marriage to Rukmini but before Jarasandha's death.

Even before Krishna's interest was piqued three other men were interested in Satyabhama (and therefore partially also the ownership of the syamantaka in inheritance/dowry)- Akroora, Kritavarma and Shatadhanva (he is barely 17-18 though, much younger than the others and probably the only one who wasn't interested in the gem, just the lady).

Akroora among them is the most vocal (and annoying) in his pursuit.

In another point, because he was key in bringing Krishna to Mathura, he expected to be made prime-minister after Kamsa's death. The fact that Krishna went and backed Ugrasena instead, taking most of the parliament with him, turned Akroora off of him, and sparked a long-standing, quiet enmity between the two. In this Kritavarma is a major player on the anti-Krishna side as well.

Soon thereafter, one day, for some reason Prasena wears the syamantaka to a hunt, and is killed by a lion (or a person from a community that uses a lion totem) and the gem goes missing.

Satrajit loudly implicates Krishna, accusing him of being the murderer. Krishna, for the first time in his life, takes actual offense to the accusation and vows to recover the gem, no matter the cost.

In the forest, close to the hills Rikshavana and Vindhya, Krishna found the body of Prasena, and the 'lion' who had killed him, but still he didn't find the gem. Following another trail he reaches a settlement of people using a bear totem.

In this cave-village he hears a gaatha-shloka being spoken to a child, which the researchers have designated to be pre-vedic [given its writing style, it being repeated unchanged in multiple puranas, and given the fact that Jambavati is verifiably the earliest known wife of Krishna], which ends in- 'Sukumaraka maa rodeestava hyesha syamanataka'. [Do not cry Sukumaka, for the syamantaka is yours].

Jambavana, the leader of that community, and Krishna get embroiled in a long 28-day battle. Krishna's followers who had come up until the entrance of the cave, they go back after a week and declare Krishna to be dead, even completing a shradhha for him.

Their battle ends with Krishna marrying his daughter Jambavati and obtaining the gem as a form of dowry.

Once he returned to Dwarika, Krishna called for an emergency parliamentary session and handed over the gem to Satrajit with all the ministers as his witnesses. Embarrassed, Satrajit offers his daughter [apparently violating a verbal contract he had made with Akroora earlier] Satyabhama in marriage and the gem as her dowry.

Krishna, however, has learnt his lesson about it, and refuses to even see, hear of or think about the gem any longer. Satrajit could throw it in the ocean for all he cared, but Krishna wasn't about to get involved again.

This incident even farther antagonizes Akroora [some sources say Krishna might have made fun of Akroora and his weird obsession with Satyabhama in private, and somehow the word had gotten back to him, to pour salt on his wounds], but he knows he cannot hit Krishna, or the consequence would be catastrophic, so he turns his attention towards how he can avenge his insult through Satrajit [he knew Krishna too hated Satrajit after this mess and tolerated him only because of Satyabhama].

Hence, Akroora called for the brothers Kritavarma-Shatadhanva, knowing their weakness for Satyabhama too. The older men brainwash Shatadhanva, adding fuel to the fire of his grief for not having gotten Satyabhama, even promising full ownership of syamantaka itself! Akroora also makes a promise to shield young Shatadhanva from Krishna's anger once he has performed their bidding [apparently Akroora controlled most of Dwarika's financial resources even though Krishna had earned most of it, and he threatened to use that power to stop Krishna from retaliating].

After waiting for some time, they finally find their opportunity in the few days that Krishna, Balarama and Satyaki all go to Varanavat after the Pandavas are rumored to have died. The very same night, Shatadhanva sneaks into Satrajit's mansion, kills him in his sleep, and takes the gem along with him right back to Akroora's house [Akroor-astan-mani-ratnam yad-graah: another piece of a gaatha-shloka, equally old].

Akroora now modifies his promise of unconditional support and declared that he will help Shatadhanva only if he, under any circumstance, refrains from revealing the gem's whereabouts.

Krishna's spies, in Krishna's absence, went straight to Satyabhama, informing her of the murder and murderer both. Displaying the greatest strength of character, her baby-child tied to her back (very Lakshmibai coded), Satyabhama unhooks a chariot from the stables and rides through the day and night to burst through the gates of Varanavat, into Bheeshma's guesthouse where Krishna, Balarama and Satyaki were resting.

Krishna was secretly sort of happy at the turn of events, but he was also outwardly moved to anger at Satyabhama's grief. He uses Satyabhama's nickname 'Satyaa' [Bhamaa in Souther sources] to promise that he will get to the bottom of this.

Knowing, Satyabhama's suitor-list and knowing that he isgoing to have to go up against a stronger opposition than just Shatadhanva in order to avenge Satyabhama, he starts sweet-talking Balarama. Krishna says to his brother that since the gem is Satyabhama's inheritance now, and anything that belongs to a wife [and the wife too] belongs to her husband, then, through the family tree, syamantaka now rightfully belongs to Balarama.

The brothers then, leaving Satyaki to pick up the not-dead Pandavas' trail, set out to hunt Shatadhanva.

Hearing of this, Shatadhanva grows antsy and goes to seek shelter with Akroora. Now, Akroora plays his masterstroke, and refuses to let Shatadhandva even enter his house, let alone get shelter/help. Kritavarma too shuts his front door on his face, leaving Shatadhanva to pick up a fast she-horse named Hridaya, and run for his life.

He ran the horse so hard, that she unfortunately died near Mithila. Abandoning the horse, Shatadhanva entered a forest on foot. It is here that after literally a high-speed car-chase Krishna and Balarama caught up to the guy. Noting that their own horses were panicking after seeing the body of the other one, Krishna asks Balarama to wait there with the chariot while he continued to chase him by foot.

After 2 kroshas, Krishna caught up to Shatadhanva. Krishna, without a single word, without even alerting or warning the guy, quietly released his sudarshana and killed him dead from behind [maybe he was sure Shatadhanva had the syamanataka, or maybe, more interestingly, he knew Shatadhanva if interrogated might blab about Akroora and Krishna did not want to take on that issue just yet].

Krishna searched his body, but obviously did not find the gem, so he carried the guy back to Balarama. Balarama, however, is now more horrified than angry. All this time, he has been the angrier, shortsighted one. He could not believe that Krishna would make such an apparently rookie mistake. Balarama starts believing that the gem is with Krishna, that his younger brother has already found and hid it on his person and is now lying to him. If he was 5% angrier, Balarama would probably have strip-searched him right there.

He uses a lot of unforgivable language like: "You live just because you're my brother!", "You can go wherever you like!", "You are a liar!", "You bring shame to our forefathers my making false shapathas.", " You are no longer my brother!" etc. etc.

Krishna tries to placate him at first, but being bombarded by the above beautiful sets of words, he understandably steps aside as Balarama storms off to Mithila (for 3 whole years no one can bring him back becasue he still believes Krishna has the gem and he just doesn't want to share). This incident causes a rift between the brother that never really heals, not even after Krishna is able to bring him back to Dwarika for appearances sake.

Krishna returns to Mathura, and knowing his mental state and being quite distraught herself, Satyabhama too doesn't badger him about the gem.

Akroora on the other hand, is wracked with fear. By now Krishna knows Akroora has it, and Akroora knows that Krishna knows that Akroora has it. The two politicals stalwarts are now at some sort of a stalemate. Neither of them can live in peace, since Krishna can't accuse Akroora without more proof and Akroora can't spend his newfound money without Krishna coming after him.

Desperate, Akroora starts performing yajna after yajna. Actually, more than the need to spend some that money, the reason for this was that, as per Vishnu purana's testimony, any Brahman, Kshatriya or Vaishya, while induced into an active yajna cannot be killed- to kill such a person will be akin to to brahma-hatya. These yajnas are therefore but a shield erected by Akroora in an effort to escape both Krishna and his guilty conscience.

This is probably the world's oldest detective novel, with the amount of cat-and-mouse and whodunnit that is there in this story.

Another part of an ancient gaatha-shloka referenced by Yaashka: "Akrooro dadate manim iti abhibhashante" [Akroora is the one who carried the gem henceforth, is what is to be said]. According to Yogendranath Basu, this seems to be a part of a greater family ballad of the Vrishnis to be sung at festivals.

After those three years, a relative of Krishna's [one from the direct line of Satvata] was suddenly murdered by someone from the Bhoja clan [Akroora's side] . Terriefied, that this might be Krishna's 'opening' to retaliate finally, Akroora ran from Dwarika, straight to Mathura.

An emergencey parliamentary sabha is called after this. After observing many 'natural disasters', they all, led by old Andhaka, blame Krishna for 'intimidating the poor holy man' and ask him to apologise and personally escort him back. Basically, the neutral people didn't want Krishna to become a dictator in the absence of Akroora, his natural and strong opposition.

Krishna is miffed, but also a bit guilty in what he did to Shatadhanva, so not wanting to escalate matters, he concedes and obeys the council.

Once he brings Akroora back, however, Krishna decided that enough is enough, and he invites all the people for a dinner party in his house (Agatha who?). Later in the night, once the alcohol has had time to flow quite freely, he suddenly accosts Akroora, in a very lighthearted tone, the middle of the room. He says, "We all know Shatadhandva gave you that gem to keep. Would you mind showing it to Balarama once, so he may no longer think I am a selfish thief? After that you may keep it safe with yourself, just like all these years."

With Krishna's indication, immediately Akroora finds himself surrounded by Satyaki, Pradyumna, Samba, Abhimanyu, Anirudhha etc, and comes to the wise conclusion that if he lies today then these boys are going to do his vastraharan right here and now.

Akroora then legit said, "Oh he gave it to me to give it to you only. I thought you'd never ask!" Then he takes it out [of his literal underpants] and puts it on the floor.

Satyabhama, now being present at the party, decided she has been patient enough, and legally it does belong to her. So she advanced to take it. Out of the corner of his eye, Krishna saw, Balarama too, based on the explanation he had given all those years back, also advancing towards it.

"Krishno-hapi aatmaanam chakra-antarav-asthitam iva mene" - Krishna's situation was like being crushed between two wheels. The last thing Krishna needed was for his wife and brother to duke it out over this this gem. He threfore quickly interjected by saying that to keep this gem without negative impacts one needed to be a brahmachaari. Dude then roasts everyone, "I can't keep the gem, because everyone knows I have 16000+ wives and I'm quite the romantic. Satyabhama, though it is her inheritance, can't keep it thanks to me. And to say nothing of my brother: the last thing I want is for him to try and kick his alcolohism so late in life! Thanks to his many yajnas, Akroora is pure as pure can be, so he should be the one to keep it."

Later Krishna pulls Akroora aside and just says that given how angry Krishna actually is, due to how hurt is wife was and the alienation from his brother-and-best-friend Akroora in fact got off easy with the complete loss of reputation. (As in Doctor Who we had "Doesn't she look tired to you?")

To be noted, Satyabhama, in general, talks very less. She has a habit of insisting that she be bridal-carried by Krishna far into the water, every time they go the beach.

Once when Narada brought from parijata flowers from Amaravati, Krishna without thinking gifted them all to Rukmini.

Angered by this, and egged on by her attendants, Satyabhama, wore a white-saree, tied a white bandana on her head, found a lotus and pressed it within her palms until it was a powder, then applied rakta-chandana on her head, and went to a dark room to be angry.

Her attendants know that the longer she remains angry, the harder their live will become. So, they immediately run to inform Krishna (secretly, because Rukmini is sitting right there). Krishna, hearing of his, quietly indicated to Narada to keep Rukmini busy, while he takes care of Satyabhama.

He entered her anger-room terrified [Harivamsha put this adjective, I didn’t invent it], and started to make jokes like he usually does. However, Satyabhama sniffed parijata on his body, and started screaming and crying. Dr. Bhaduri identifies this kind of strategy ironically, as the Vaidharbhi-reeti.

Krishna then started to get romantic with dialogues like, “You know I have to act like I love all of you equally, but secretly I love you more!”, “I don’t let any other wife mouth off to me like I do you!”, “I’ll die before I stop being crazy about you!”

Satyabhama gets angrier and warns him not to use his usual charm or eloquence on her. She goes one step farther and scolds him for not stopping Narada from praising Rukmini in front of him by putting Satyabhama down (he kind of did). Notably, Satyabhama has no beef with Rukmini, in fact she quite likes her. The core reason for her anger is Krishna’s actions, not Rukmini being praised or otherwise.

Krishna then finally lies to Satyabhama, by insisting that Rukmini asked for the flowers, and that he didn’t give it just out of the love in his heart. Then he himself promises to bring the entire parijata tree from Nandana for her (please note: neither woman asked for anything…the entire thing is just damage control). She eagerly agreed though.

In Vishnu purana this incident is tied in with the Narakasura incident, where Satyabhama is insulted by Shachi when they are in Amaravati (Shachi puts a parijata flower in her hair but doesn’t give one to Satyabhama as protocol dictates), and consequently she pushes Krishna to take the entire tree, “You don’t love me, so what’s the point in my being alive?”.

Krishna, in the second story, has definitely seen and been hurt by Shachi’s actions, so it doesn’t take as much coaxing too, and he takes the tree and leaves.

When the guards of Nandana warn them of the consequence, Satyabhama gets very angry and instructs them to go tell Shachi, that she should ask her husband to stop Satyabhama’s husband, if he really loves her so much.

Once Krishna defeats Indra, she laughs at Indra, “Why are you running away? Won’t you wait for your wife, with her precious parijata flowers in her hair, to come here and see you defeated?”

Satyabhama actually returns the parijata to Shachi, after lecturing her to no end about how one should behave with their guests. In both versions of the story, we see that, yes, Krishna is troubled to no end with his wife’s tantrums, but that is exactly why he loves her, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

In Vana Parva, the two women are definitely making fun of Markendeya’s conservative viewpoints on women, but when Satyabhama, among many other things, suggest Draupadi might have used black magic to keep her husbands in line, we see Draupadi just a little miffed. She launches into this long-winded exposition about how bad that is, and how a woman like her would never do something like that, but ultimately, they both cool down and reach and understanding.

In Udyoga-parva, we see Satyabhama’s modernity in the sense that Sanjaya finds them all inebriated, with Krishna’s feet on Arjun’s lap, and Arjuna’s feet on Draupadi and Satyabhama’s laps. Here, most definitely, absolutely, nothing is going on between Arjuna and Satyabhama, they are just good enough friends that this level of physical touch embarrasses neither them nor their partners.

She is notably the only wife of Krishna's who is interested enough to accompany him to nearly all major political and martial events in their lives, and she is the only one that Krishna trusts with this responsibility.

There used to be an old Sanskrit drama called Maniharana (I think?), the primary text of which has gotten lost over time, but it used to be very popular, and going by its references in other works, we know it deals with the syamantaka story.

[reblog-house]

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial Wc: 835 Fandom: Life series Characters: Life series winners (including April Fools) Ao3: Here! When Scott appeared in a new world after Simple Life, he was not expecting what met him. Warning for body horror, though you don't see it happen.

Seeing Double

Tiny Scott was born from light into a new world. Both his eyes closed and his arms extended, a gust of air caressed his face in a welcoming gesture. 

With a content smile, he slowly opened his eyes, ready to take in his new surroundings. The first few moments of calmness before the start of a new game were always important to him. It was never good to start the game with an unsteady foot forward.

That short game he just finished had been a good change of pace. He felt truly refreshed after that. He couldn’t wait to-

The world wasn’t grass or sand, there was no sky — and very few people surrounded him. Not nearly enough to constitute a-

Something crashed, and Joel was yelling, pointing at him, but his eyes were set on the others.

He looked strange. Much… taller — disproportionately so. His torso seemed normal, but his legs and arms…

“You said there were no repeats! That’s not fair! And why does it have to be Scott, of all people?”

“Ouch? What did I-” he said, at the same time as another familiar voice said: “I’m still here, you know?”

It was his voice. Or as close to his voice as could be, distorted to his own ears. He was behind a counter, crystals refracted from his eyes, but they didn’t meet his own. 

“And why are you complaining? Finally realizing I could’ve actually won against you?” Grian’s voice came out smug from behind him, at the other side of the room. “From what you said, it seemed pretty close…” 

“It was not! And you didn’t win, anyway,” he rushed to say, “so I don’t know why you’re trying to brag about it!”

Grian looked wrong as well. More obviously than the others, covered head to thighs in feathers, and his face, it was-

“Oi, you’re all scaring him. Look at the little guy! He’s practically trembling!” Pearl said as she approached him — he twirled around to face her, and he shouldn’t have. Her figure towered over him more with every step. “Hi Scott!” She looked down at him and smiled. “Didn’t think I’d see a second of you here. I’m assuming you’ve learnt your lesson since we last met?” Pearl’s smile bore fangs.

His poor body’s heart was going faster than it did even with this size at the start. Faster than even the exertion of the chase when he was still of his regular height. 

“Ah, I see someone forgot to sacrifice himself this time around?” Scar said slowly, followed by a sip of his mug, sitting by the counter. Way too many flowers grew from his face, though only one flower would’ve counted as too many.

“Or to team up with the wrong people.” Martyn said, equally as scarred by coral, if not more. One of his eyes had sprouted into colorful tendrils, no hint of what had once been there. There were gaps in his smile. “Had a fun run? Not sorry for cutting your win short back then, by the way. It had to happen.”

Once everyone stopped talking, there was a brief moment of silence. Scott took this time to bring his heart rate down a notch.

“Scott!”

Oomph- a body crashed against him, sending him back a few steps — he barely managed to keep himself on his feet. Hands and a torso sandwiched his body and half his face like a hug, but no arms surrounded his body- no, he had to turn his head away from the body to breathe, and only the first fourth of an arm squished his face, the rest of it missing. The hands behind him pressed even harder into the hug for a second, then the whole body released him and held his shoulders when he stumbled back, keeping him in place. It was Cleo. 

“Look at you! Hi! You’re even shorter than me! Join my short team, I’m planning on overthrowing the talls — particularly Joel,” she fake-whispered. “He let his growth spurt get to his head, but he just looks weird with the legs and—”

“I heard that!”

“That’s surprising!” they yelled back. “I don’t remember you putting a bug on me! Or did you get the ‘hearing superpower’ Martyn had?” Then they turned to Scott and their whole demeanor changed again. “How are you doing! Your head is so big, how are you even standing up? It’s like half of your body and three times wider! That can’t be stable!” 

“I…” 

Everyone was looking at Scott, surrounding him from every side. Each face extremely familiar, memories from many lives past coagulating, fusing into the now in a way the pieces should never fall. All of them mangled, uncanny, wrong. 

But looking down to his own body, tiny legs under an even tinier torso, hands stained by void like the dirt he could never get rid of at the pond, from countless hours of thinning out the world, he realized…

He was faring no better than them.

[dismas-n-dismay]

Redacted Valenswap 2025!

The day they pry hozier songs from my hands is the day y'all will stop seeing me write on this website, swear.

Happy Valentines to all, and especially @ririchurl who i got for this year's valenswap! I hope you like my silly meet cute between Sweetie and Azmidi (and ignore any typos I failed to clean up, though I think I caught them all..) Happy first Valenswap gang!

word count: a smidge over 2k tags: sickfic, car ride home, delirious listener!sweetie, touch-starved azmidi, azmidi has a heavy snake-like lisp, azmidi has aquatic reptile demon traits, azmidi has claws and sharp teeth, shy azmidi, fear demon azmidi, comfort-fic, love at first sight --

The air of the ER was brisk against his deep grey scales, the “feeling” of it was hardly much at all. A poor copy of what it must have felt like against a form that could more properly process temperature. The webbed fins on the side of Azmidi’s head twitched idly in response as he padded through the bleak white room. 

At this time of night, it was either jam packed full of people who had ran in from various accidents or deathly silent and holding merely a few worried looking families. Today- he lifted his snout to sniff, a deep inhale, in search for food- was a latter day. 

His fangs clicked together in agitation. He could go scavenging through the hospital, it’s not as if he was picky…but he did try his best to avoid coming to the corporal plane as much as possible. There wasn’t much he could do with the variety of demon he was, and the discrimination he would face really only made his reluctance to stay strengthen. 

Still, the proximity to dread and anxiety left his body wanting for the succulent emotions. The longer I take, the hungrier I get, and the longer I have to stay here. The fear demon pleaded with himself, hoping to set aside his dislike of the current plane even temporarily. With a sigh, Azmidi scanned the room. It was the same crowd he’d came to expect of this particular hospital in Dahlia- one old woman at the front desk, a few nurses running in and out with their clipboards, and a tv playing whatever constituted as cable tv in the corner. The boredom of the ER was just enough to make him sight, slouching in the center of the room as he felt incoming air from the sliding doors of the ER opening again. 

Two humans walked in, one looking like hell on wheels and - Azmidi clicked his tongue, tasting the emotion deeply - feeling quite the extraordinary amount of pain. 

“Hi, uh this is my friend, we think they might have strep throat?”

Azmidi watched as the old receptionist raised a brow and handed the two a set of papers before gesturing to the seats for them to sit. “Bring these back after filling them out and we’ll get you situated as fast as possible.”

The taller of the pair groaned, leaving the shorter one to hush them. “I’ll do the paperwork Sweets, you just relax.”

“Sweets” whined, slumping into one of the small seats as their friend sat beside them. 

Azmidi tilted his head, pushing his long, kelp-like hair out of his eyes and crawling closer to the tall human. He observed as their eyes were squeezed shut in pain while he crouched in front of them, their pants for air frequent and shallow.

He licked his lips, a sharp toothed grin gaining on his face as the ebbing worry from their friend flushed towards him. It was subtle, light, in flavor but hefty enough to be satiating for now. 

Their eyes drifted open clumsily. “Hel-lo?” 

Azmidi’s brows shot up, no they couldn’t be talking to him. They were delirious, and not a single person in this wing of the hospital had a lick of magic in them. But as Sweets drifted forward, towards his face, putting them snout to nose, he was suddenly confronted with the idea of this being Very Wrong. 

“Whassup with you,” they winced, obviously pained by talking. “Got a weird costume on or some’n….” They trailed off and simply stared at him, dazed and out of it as their friend wrapped an arm around their shoulder to pull them back.

“Okay, I’m gonna go talk to the doctors and turn in your paperwork, Sweetie, okay?” They looked toward the patch of air where Azmidi would’ve been had they been able to see him. More worry flooded off of them there, reasonably, before they continued. “Just sit here and try not to use your voice too much, okay?”

“Mmh.” Sweetie nodded, glazed eyes meeting Azmidi’s once again. How peculiar. Their friend scampered off, leaving just the two of them, an odd demon and a sick human.

From deep in his seldom used throat, a greeting bellowed out. “.h…hello..” Unsurprisingly, though delayed with their sickness, Sweetie winced. He could only assume it had sounded similar to the noise one might make while awkwardly choking down water between gulps of air. He knitted his brows together, suddenly self conscious whether or not the human before him could see him. “S���ssorry…c…can you sssee me?” 

One after another their eyes blinked as they nodded. “Yuh huh…wh- COUGH who are you..?”

Azmidi pouted in thought for a minute. It was unusually rare for a person to see a cloaked demon of his caliber, and it wouldn’t exactly bode well if a human who wasn’t empowered knew his name and went around telling folks. Really this whole conversation was already breaching covert but- he peered back at Sweetie to see their forehead covered in sweat while they shivered painfully- really who could tell if they would remember. He shrugged, sitting down before them, hunched as he crossed his legs and laid his wide finned tail beside himself. 

“Azz…zzy.”

“Azzzzzy? L-like with allll the Zs or ‘s it just Azzy..?”

“Jussst…Az..zy..” he tried to control the way his tongue slipped against his teeth, poorly. There were many reasons he didn’t like his form on the corporeal plane and this was one of them, the way his tongue fit against his teeth was much more befitting a predator than a more communicative organism. Azmidi’s teeth were sharp and his forked tongue naturally followed suit, making it quite hard for him to speak in a more relaxed way.

Sweetie, however, didn’t seem to mind this in their sick state. They smiled in a way that made his scales flush warmly. 

“Azzy…cute. ‘M….i’m…uh…”

“Sssweetie..?”

They snapped their fingers clumsily. “Yeah! Sweetie! It’s a nickname cause I’m soooo sweet, hehehe…” They flopped back against their seat with a dopey smile that made Azmidi’s tail thump against the cold tiled floor of the ER. God this was so stupid. He was here to feed and go home and go about his business and instead here he was, fraternizing with barely conscious humans. 

“‘S so sssstupid…”

“I’m not stupid!” They replied indignantly and incredibly loud, leaving Azmidi to clutch his claws around his mouth as he saw both Sweetie’s friend and the older nurse behind the receptionist desk turn to stare at Sweetie’s outburst.  

Their friend cleared their throat, diverting attention back to themself, and whispering to the nurse once more. “Is there anything we can do to maybe speed up that test for my friend…”

If a demon could blush, which Azmidi was sure some could, he would’ve been the deepest shade of blue-grey possible.

“What are you? You’re like…a really funny fish…”

“I’m a d…uh…hm…” He stopped himself short.

“Duuuh? Come oooon, pleeease! Oh wait! I got it-“

Azmidi scoffed, crossing his arms playfully. “Oh? And what issss it that you think I am..?” He rasped, flashing his sharpened fangs and teeth that glinted in the full light of the emergency room.

Sweetie looked around, suspiciously before cupping their mouth and whispering towards his right ear fin which perk up as they came closer. 

“You’re my imaginary friend…” Their smile was ridiculously loopy, with their face being a deep and warm tint. Oh, they were definitely getting worse. 

Sweetie giggled into the palms of their hand, not seeming to notice how they were tilting out of their chair until Azmidi took the opportunity to press them back, standing up as he did so. 

Oh…no. Even at his hunched height, Azmidi was still among the taller than average heights for demons, especially since he rarely felt the need to adjust his corporeal height for others. Now he most definitely towered over Sweetie, even when hunching his back over peer at them easier. Anxiously, he clutched his hands and squeezed them together, too scared to meet their gaze but too stunned to avoid as they looked up at him with wide unreadable eyes.

As Azmidi gulped, they spoke. “Woah…big boy…” Their shaky hands went to graze against his face clumsily, the feeling of skin against cooled scale was…unbelievable. Azmidi shuddered, gulping down unneeded air to non-existent lungs. His mouth hung open, holding pearly sharp fangs just barely cracked by his lips- and for a moment he thought they were moving to touch them just as-

Two fingers snapped to the side of them both, “Sweets, come on, they’ve got your tests ready and your doctor- shouldn’t be more than 45 minutes okay?” Their friend grabbed a hold of their hand, dragging a dazed Sweetie behind them as Azmidi stood, stupefied. what…what.

He could only watch as they walked away towards the swinging doors of the emergency room.

—

Their hands were clammy- they were vaguely aware of it as they sat quietly in the backseat of their friend’s car. They were saying something but Sweetie really couldn’t focus enough to do anything but murmur. 

“We’ll be at your house soon, buddy, okay? I called off work for us both so I can watch you so don’t worry about any of your projects.” Their eyes flitted towards Sweetie through the car’s mirror, with an expression that Sweetie’s tired brain couldn’t make heads nor tails of. Under their breath, Sweetie murmured softly. “Sorry…”

A sigh came from the driver’s seat. “Don’t be, I just need you to take better care of yourself okay? A fever that high is bad enough, but if your throat had swollen up and I didn’t check on you it could’ve been so much worse. I just want you to be safe bud.”

“Mmh, i will.” 

The movement of the car was slow and soothing, with the rain drizzling outside it was just dreamy, perfect even. Sweetie shuffled closer to the middle of the seat, resting their head on Azmidi’s shoulders as they closed their eyes. He huffed, wrapping his finned tail along their legs- the total extent he’d allow himself to touch them any further. 

Azmidi inhaled, scenting each flavor of worry and anxiety in the vehicle, and in one swift sigh, took it away. A poor meal, with worry hardly being that much filling in comparison to true and genuine fear, but the anxiety of it was something nonetheless. And with the way Sweetie’s shoulders seemed to lose all that tense stress in their body, and their friend released their vice grip on the steering wheel…he had to guess it was worth it. Anything to be able to spend countless days and nights in the sweet presence of someone so lovely, for them he’d eat any amount of unfulfilling satisfaction and misery.

In his throat, a deep and loving rumble rose out just as Sweetie began to nuzzle closer. “I’ll keep you ssssafe…Don’t worry…”

A soft exhale was all the response he got before his hand began to hover closer to theirs. He wasn’t used to this- touch. It wasn’t often Azmidi even chose to stay in the human plane let alone truly interact there for more than mere moments but to find someone who could see him, someone who made him feel less dangerous and sharp, who made him feel wanted…he wanted to make them feel that way too. Not a burden or overwhelming or too afraid to reach out until things got too bad. 

He looked at them again, the sweat on Sweetie’s brow and the puffs of breath from their nose that became visible in the cold of the car, and placed a clawed hand atop theirs. Azmidi couldn’t claim he was too good at healing magic, it was something he seldom found any reason to use but he knew a majority of it was intent, and he intended to heal. That would be it.

From his claws emanated a soft, loving green glow from his finger tips to the cold hands of Sweetie, easing their pain effortlessly. He sighed as their breaths evened out and their shoulders sagged, uninhibited by the pain. 

Azmidi clutched their hands in his, and pressed his head atop theirs. “Ressst well, Ssssweetie.”

Outside, the rain pattered on, as a human and their demon dreamt endlessly.

[luxet0bscuritas-blog]

JOMP Book Photo Challenge - February - 28/02/25 - Read in February

All the books I read this month were truly fantastic, tackling difficult and intense topics with depth and skill.

Gone Girl (re-read), for instance, delivers a twisted tale of a marriage filled with secrets and deception, with one of the best contemporary femmes fatales ever written. If you are not familiar with this story, you can expect sharp plot twists and a dark exploration of manipulative behaviour.

Hush (re-read) by Nicole Lyons is a raw, fierce and unapologetic poetry collection that I will guard and defend with my life if I have to. If you were part of the poetry Instagram scene between 2017 and 2019, her name could ring a bell. I am not quite sure whether it is still possible to purchase Hush, but her other two poetry collections Lithium Chronicles Volume 1 and 2 feature a bunch of poems that were published in Hush as well.

Bloom by Delilah S. Dawson can shortly be described as a sapphic Hannibalesque horror story - a quick and marvelous read that picks up the pace and intensity mostly in the last third of the story.

I've stumbled upon Carmilla (re-read) in my fifth semester of studying literature and it became one of my favourite gothic classics that I revisit time and time again. Mostly known for being the infamous predecessor of Dracula, Carmilla is not only a sapphic vampire story of obsession and desire, but also a mirror of Victorian anxieties.

The Vegetarian by Han Kang is a Kafkaesque exploration of what constitutes suffering. Without revealing to much of the story, the overall premise of it centers on Yeong-hye, a Korean woman who decides to stop eating meat after being plagued by disturbingly vivid nightmares. I won't go into much detail about my interpretation of the book, but I would definitely argue that The Vegetarian offers a brilliant exploration of how society, through the lens of both intimate relationships and broader cultural expectations, can suppress the individual's right to define one's own existence.

Bat Eater and Other Names For Cora Zeng by Kylie Lee Baker revolves around Cora, who loses her sister under very tragic circumstances and tries to navigate through her grief while working as a crime scene cleaner in the midst of the COVID pandemic. Weird things unfold at the crime scenes, blending supernatural elements with gory horror, while simultaneously addressing serious issues like xenophobia. Sacrificing a few hours of sleep to finish this book was absolutely worth it.

Hunger Stone by Kat Dunn is a lush retelling of Carmilla that takes place during the industrial revolution. One of the best one's I've read so far. It's dark, seductive and full of feminine rage.

[writingoddess1125]

The Sunset Pirates pt. 1

Old Men Series Masterlist <<<

Support ne on Ko-Fi ☕️ Helps me make more stories

"Hey I wanted to say something-" Vivian said calmly, the doubt of Alucares words eating into her, Dee raising a brow and nodding in wanting to hear her out. "Shoot-"

• The new shamble crew had been at sea for a few months and truthfully getting along quite well.

• While Vivian still seemed to dislike Alucare the two were civil with each other- Vivian mostly becoming good friends with the twins, especially Dee who had turned into a great friend for her.

• Bee and Alucare had become overnight friends it seemed- Alucare was calm and collected while Bee was a wreck yet the two of them seemed to mix well.

• The crew had fallen into their rolls it seemed as well- Dee acted as a Captian and Navigator, Vivian the Gunner, Alucare the Sword and Bee who was the Explosive expert and General Blacksmith.

• Was it odd? Of course! However they all seemed to work well together and got along great

•For the most part-

"Huh- I never noticed till now" Alucare mumbled as he looked to Vivian who glared at him-

"What?" She snapped, the dark haired teen rolling his eyes-

"You're the only girl here-" He said with a shrug, Taking another bite from his breakfast still half asleep as he ate. Vivian raising an eyebrow at him saying this-

"It's just weird- we need another on the crew to help balance it and make sure it's not weird... No two" He grumbled sipping the burnt coffee as he dozed off.

While Alucare was talking about number of crew mates needing for the ship to not be run weird so two addional people were needed and genuinely didn't mean anything by his words forgetting about them 5 minutes later; Vivians mind was running on overdrive. Was it weird? She was on a crew with 3 guys and the only female- What if they thought their relationship was more then she thought?- What if they expected something from her?

These thoughts circled her mind as anxiety build in her chest the rest of that morning- Even when she went to hang out with Dee.

"Are you okay?.." Dee asked, the two seated next to each other.

A bit hesitantly she rubbed the back of her neck "You do realize we are friends right?.. I don't like you in a romantic way and want to misinterpret our friendship as romantic in anyway" She said as calmly as possible. Dee making a slight choking noise in surprise before chuckling softly.

"Couple of things wrong with that sentence- me being friends with you doesn't constitute me having a crush on you, my brother liking you doesn't mean I have to like you- we are twins but still separate people and lastly you aren't my type-" Dee said calmly and with smile.

Vivian blinked in surprise at several parts of that. First that Bee liked her- second was the utter take down of the illusion she had for him and last was the 'Type'.

Dee nodded at seeing her confusion and gestured to his head the side, Vivian following the motion to Alucare to the left training on the decks....

Wait..

.... Ding Ding Ding! 🏳️‍🌈

"You like guys?" Vivian said in shock and Dee nodded calmly at this. Watching the red head flush in embrassment "I-I am so sorry I didn't know- You never said anything"

"Why does that need to be something I promote? My private interest doesn't need to be involved with what I do as a pirate" He pointed out.

•"...Holy shit I'm a asshole I'm so sorry-" Vivian admitted with a heavy sigh. Dee smiled at this and patted her shoulder.

"It's kinda something that has to be learned since so many people have many different ways of promoting their Sexuality. So it's fine, I can understand the confusion and its forgiven" He reassured, always willing to forgive especially since he was sure she was mentally beating herself up anyway.

"Yeah... I shouldn't have assumed- I'm defiently going to punch Alucare after this.." Vi said with an embarrassed sigh. Dee raised a brow at Vivians words, The red head explaining that Alucare had brought some level of worry of her being the only girl on the ship-

Dee rolling his eyes "Give him one for me too... By the way you dont have to worry about me or Bee, Me for odvious reasons and Bee wont cause he respects women too much and would never stoop so low- It may not seem like it but he is a huge Mamas boy and wouldnt do anything to disappoint our mother or our father in such a way"

Bonus:

"Hey Luffy! Look at this!" Usopp called out, smiling as he rushed to Luffy who was on the deck eating away at some breakfast.

The rest of the crew who had been out and about on the desk. Being the crew of an Emperor of the Sea and King of the pirates had been amazing, the flush of food laid before them all as they all chatted and joked.

They all paused at Usopp running to them with the newspaper and new bounties- Laying them all on the table. Luffy pausing mid bite as he saw Vivian, a grin stretching over his cheeks as he proudly looked at her bounty.

The rest of the crew reading the paper of how they bested the Vice-Admiral Beckman and got away from the Marine Vessel.

"That kid must be related to Mihawk- Look at his eyes.. Gold Gaze" Zoro hummed as he stared at a younger copy of his mentors face in the paper, Others agreeing at this.

"Woah! Is that the Twins that Buggy had?" Sanji said as he remembered the two little squirts from before- Nami nodding in agreement and gushing at remembering how adorable they were then and how cute they are now.

"Who would have thought it would go full circle?" Jinbe muttered, having heard the stories of their parents having sailed together. Two of which were Emperors of the sea and the other a Legend of the sword- Now their child in a crew together.

"Welp!- Sounds like we have to head to the East Blue!" Luffy proclaimed as he jumped up. The crew looking at him confused-

"What for?" Franky asked, Seeing Luffy grin at them all.

"Drop off a Gift- Just like a promised" He said with a smile.

[goblincow]

CATS or What Is This RPG or Setting The Table

So I just heard about CATS courtesy of the good folks in the PlusOneExp discord server. CATS was written by Patrick O'Leary for the 2016 200 Word RPG Challenge.

It's nice and short (200 words even) and it's a compelling formula for the classic What Is This TTRPG segment that warrants a page at the front of every good RPG book.

I find it particularly interesting that this is imagined as a micro-RPG in its own right, a table activity for the start of game night that sets out to address what I have always found to be the most painful aspect of playing any TTRPG (besides tedious and arcane character creation rituals – I'm looking at you 5e PHB 👀): the friction that arises from players having discordant, conflicting, contradictory or incompatible expectations during play.

We can formulate the basic strucure of CATS in a variety of ways: Concept/Aim/Tone/Subject Matter, What/Where/When/Who/Why/How, Premise/Overview/Goals/What You Need, etc. all of which can be applied in two immediate directions:

In a What Is This RPG section, these are just codified methods for teaching the player/reader (more of my thoughts on the player/reader here) how to read and communicate everything that comes next in a way that's both more focused than a blurb (which might basically constitute the Concept/Premise/Hook) and more comprehensive than an elevator pitch.

As a launchpad for table play, these structures guide the conversation to establish the pillars of the shared fiction, and I especially appreciate CATS for the fact that it ends on Subject Matter. It could be the consequence of a tortured acronym, but having set the stage in every other way it seems appropriate to hop into safety tools as the final as the final negotiation before play, once all context is provided but nothing is yet set in stone.

That's all he wrote on CATS.

In THE PERILOUS PEAR & PLUM PIES OF PUDWICK I wrote a conversation guide to the meat of the adventure on pg. 11, following an introductory segment of the game that functions as a session 1 prologue of sorts before delving into the hexflower "dungeon" microsetting, inciting incident et al. It's interesting for me to look back at the way I structured this from the perspective of CATS.

If you're curious about TPPAPPOP and want a sneak peak of what you can expect, here's that segment from pg. 11, Inside The Tree:

Resources: the insects of the tree live in darkness and have varying weird diets – you might decide that tracking resources like light and food is important, or maybe at this scale adventurers can survive on the honeydew, leaves and strange meats that the insects eat. Sights and Sounds: footsteps might sound like earthquakes, voices like distant thunder. What are the twitches and mannerisms of the chittering language of insects? How does artificial light disturb the denizens of the tree? Setting and Tone: to adjust the game to your group's preference, you might lean into the existential conflict of intruding on and potentially dooming these fledgling societies, or downplay the crawling horror of an insect world to allow its cuter side to shine through.

[bridgetlynn]

84. Langdon

So, the prompt is for a # from the list and two characters. Anonymous sent me #84 (Out Cold) and Langdon. Unfortunately, with only one character I had to really (really) improvise especially for a prompt that indicates someone is in some way sleeping or unconscious. In the most literal way I believe I met the prompt. ie: Out Cold & Langdon. It’s just that the fic is probably not what the prompter was expecting out of it. That being said, it definitely turned into my kind of weird and crazy and I sort of adored it way more then I expected to. It's also totally on brand for me and the almost running joke at this point as to who my favorite Pitt character should probably be listed as. lol Hope you all like it as much as I liked writing it. I actually had to stop where I did because I did not need any new ideas. No I did not. But I got some. fuck.

84. Out Cold - Langdon. 1223 words.

The sound of the side door closing in the kitchen, at only ten to eight on a Monday morning in late September, caught Abby’s attention from where she was starting to clean up the children’s breakfast dishes. She had to be in court for a custody hearing at ten; but, also still needed to stop into her office so she was more than a little relieved to hear that sound almost a half hour earlier than usual. It meant that she could finish getting ready without worrying about getting anyone to the bus stop by eight thirty.

“Hey stop. Don’t do that,” she was interrupted by the voice of one of her favorite people and he plates being physically removed from her hands. “I’ll get that done. Go finish getting ready for work. You’re going to have to leave soon if you want to beat traffic. It’s not safe to be racing,” Mel continued, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “Are Ryan and El ready for school?”

“Of course they are. Becca is my most trusted lieutenant when you’re both stuck on nights at the same time. She even managed to get Tanner out the door on time for the bus for once,” Abby replied, leaning over to give the blonde a soft kiss. “Good morning angel,” she added and then pulled back and craned her head to look around the doorframe into the kitchen. “And where is our idiotic third? I will totally forgive you if you left him at the hospital.”

Mel chuckled and shook her head with a beautiful smirk, “Nope. Doctor Langdon is currently snoring in the Pathfinder’s passenger seat. I tried to wake him up for a good five minutes before just coming inside. He did kind of mumble for me to ‘go away’ before starting to snore again.”

Abby laughed wholeheartedly at her answer, Mel joining in with a giggle seconds later; both of them obviously recalling the conversation the three had on Friday morning after the kids had gone to school for the day.

The two ED swing attendings had been on their normal three consecutive days off in-between the quarterly shift rotation and Frank was telling his two partner’s that he had let Tanner and Ryan talk him into taking them camping for the weekend. Elizabeth had, of course, begged to go with her father and brothers as well. In the same conversation Mel, Abby and Becca had all turned him down flat when he suggested a full family weekend at Raccoon Creek Park.

After he explained his plans, Mel and Abby had both suggested that perhaps they should wait another week when Frank had a four day break in his schedule, which would include a weekend; but Frank had been insistent that it was going to start to get too cold to keep the kids overnight outdoors by then.  And while the ladies knew he was right about the weather; they still thought the idea was completely terrible for his overall constitution considering he planned on being back late afternoon on Sunday and then had to immediately go and work a twelve hour overnight ER shift.

Unfortunately, the ladies had been proven right when Frank stumbled, exhausted, through the door at three o’clock on Sunday afternoon with three hyperactive kids between the ages of six and thirteen following him. 

Meanwhile, Abby and Mel had been relaxed and rejuvenated after spending a fun Saturday with Becca shopping and having lunch, a more adult oriented fun Saturday night in bed for a few hours while Becca had gone to a movie with her activity group and all of Sunday morning at a day spa that they liked to go to occasionally due to it having many options for pampering so no matter how Becca was feeling that day she could usually find something to do. 

It had been a lovely, relaxing childfree weekend. 

“So, what you’re saying is Dr. I’m Not Getting Old is out cold in the car because he is, in fact, getting old,” Becca asked coming into the dining area and having heard their conversation from the living room. Elizabeth and Ryan were trailing after their Aunt like ducklings. “El your lunch is in the fridge,” Becca continued, this time talking to the kids and moving into the kitchen without waiting for an answer from Abby or Mel. “Ryan, you wanted PB&J right? Cause that’s not cold so I have to make it now,” they heard her ask Mel’s biological son as she started packing up the two lunch bags for the 5th and 1st graders like she did every morning to help out.

“You’re the best sister ever Becca; but, 42 is not old,” Abby, who turned 42 a month before Frank herself, called after her actual favorite person when not counting her three children; her sister-in-law who helped her keep their household running like clockwork while her two partners ran around saving lives. 

Abby was just glad that those partners were both at the same hospital again, as of this year, and both finally on Attending schedules. Because as Attendings they only had to pull fourteen shifts a month each at Presbyterian at least - even if the one drawback was they had been hired as swings and therefore every three months they had to switch between days and nights. 

It could always be worse; they had dealt with a lot of worse over the last eight years. Eight years of joy and love and tragedy and pain.

“Alright, I’m going to go finish putting my make-up on and get changed,” Abby said, turning to where Mel had started gathering up the rest of the breakfast dishes. “Can you get the kids to the bus stop?”

“Yes, either myself or Becca will take the kids two houses down to the corner to get the school bus. Baby, the last thing I need is the stress of thinking you’re racing through traffic to get across town to the office and then back across to the other side of the city for court. So, go get even more beautiful than you already are. Shoo.”

Abby chuckled and headed for the stairs to the second floor of their turn of the century colonial in Shadyside. When she came back downstairs forty minutes later at a quarter to nine she wasn’t surprised by the quiet. Elizabeth and Ryan had run up the stairs at twenty after eight to give her hugs, kisses and shouts of “Bye Mama” in her general direction.  Considering the time Mel had probably immediately driven Becca over to their local library where she’d been working a quiet city of Pittsburgh civil service data entry job three days a week from 10am to 3pm for the last five years. 

It was what she saw as she walked through the living room to double check the front door was locked that nearly sent her into peals of laughter - her husband, stretched out on the floor in his scrubs, snoring away, with a piece of paper taped to his chest that said, in Mel’s handwriting, “Specimen: Husbandus Moronus - Known to be Moody and Whiny when Overtired.”

“God I love that woman,” Abby muttered and blew a kiss at her sleeping husband before heading out for the day to deal with idiots in court.

[dioslesbianwife]

HIIIIAIISJDSJJSJSJSJ!!!!!! Thanks for the post with the Diego Brando x Funny Valentine fic!

I visited you again with my beloved Valentine ^_^

Can you write a fluff fic on the same ship?? >_<🙏 (Valentine as always bottom)

hiiiiiii, ur totally wwelcome!! sure, thank you for requesting and i hope you enjoy <333

Valentine has a horrible sweet tooth. Like, obnoxiously bad. On Valentine’s Day, he expects Diego to gift him some fancy-ass gourmet chocolates… and Diego brings him a single chocolate cherry in a box lined with gold foil.

“It’s symbolic, Valentine.”

“Symbolic of what?”

“How little I care about your pretentious expectations.”

They fight over hair products. Diego's pomade and styling wax mysteriously disappear whenever Valentine wants to look extra presidential.

“Diego, my hair won’t sit the right way. You’ve taken my pomade.”

“Have you considered your hair is weak?”

“Have you considered treason?”

Diego calls him “Val” to annoy him. Especially in public.

“Val, be honest. Do these pants make my ass look too flat?”

“Diego, if you don’t shut your mouth, I’m deporting you.”

“Cute. Kinky. Write that down.”

They have weird “domestic couple” energy when no one is looking. Valentine reads newspapers in bed while Diego sleeps on his stomach like a lizard under a heat lamp.

Valentine, sipping coffee: “You snored like a dying horse last night.”

Diego, muffled into pillow: “You moaned about liberty in your sleep, don’t talk to me.”

Valentine is the dramatic romantic one. Like he writes poetry. Bad poetry. And recites it out loud. In front of people.

“Roses are red, violets are blue, the multiverse would collapse if I couldn’t kiss you.”

Diego: “...”

Diego is secretly a clingy cuddler. But only when he thinks Valentine is asleep. Except Valentine always pretends to be asleep just so he can feel Diego wrap around him like a sassy, clingy little snake.

They absolutely have bathrobes with their initials. Diego's is leopard print with “DB.” Valentine’s is navy with an obnoxious gold “V.”

Diego walks around with sunglasses and a mimosa like a Real Housewife.

Valentine reads the Constitution aloud in the tub.

They have a codependent vibe but pretend it’s not romantic.

Diego: “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my... co-conspirator.”

Valentine: “I do not love Diego. I merely consider him... an invaluable national treasure.”

They kiss for like 10 minutes after saying that.

Valentine gets jealous when Diego’s fans flirt with him.

“They were like… twelve, Valentine.”

“Youth is no excuse for disrespecting the sacred bounds of our relationship.”

Diego calls him “Mr. President” in the bedroom just to mess with him. Valentine acts unbothered but blushes so hard he turns scarlet.

[angev111696969n]

Oh btw go fuck yourself if you think tanning is bad for you. Not rickets making a comeback because children are so vitamin d deprived by their parents now through the sunscreen at all times thing which is so fucking weird and perverted like parents be like. Let me or a teacher apply this all over the children. Ok pedophiles like I see you... And another example of the like perpetual baby state as if a child can't apply it themselves I'm dead at the expectations of children we have in australia no wonder children seem so dumb now. I was lowkey reading fluently by 4. Tea. Like novels sis. And was like giving original ideas and the art from then on. Now I just see children and see this kinda culture of weakness superimposed onto like human test dummies. The whole vaccination hysteria idk. Only when the fertility rate gets so low does the individual existence and ego of the child via the parent reach such a level it doubles back and makes the kid dumber, weaker, less resilient and more annoying. Just the tea on life and why I kinda won't have kids is I don't want to have to have other people tell me what's good for a child. which brings me back to the point of tanning. Which is that by and large the leading causes of death in Australia is preventable lifestyle diseases which have increased rapidly since the proliferation of like cosmopolitan office culture, less time spent outdoors, sunscreen, physical inactivity etc. UV light converts cholesterol into vitamin d like I can't with the anti tanners who don't clock that because they be like pale asf inside with clogged arteries and I've got like the healthiest metrics anyway. Gag... But yeah. Actually the main point is the biggest lifestyle condition is depression and I'll do anything to not get sucked into that. Also the cancer council makes hella money getting people to buy fugly sunglasses and hats while telling you skin cancers are on the rise everywhere but the context is the majority of skin cancers aren't life threatening and don't even need to be removed. And our population is increasing like the statistical manipulation chile. There's pretty solid evidence to suggest that while your skin cancer risk increases through exposure to the sun without sunscreen, that is outweighed by the favourable effects of being outdoors and having higher vitamin d levels/lower cholesterol etc. clock that. I think from memory like tradies are maybe 4x more likely to get melanoma but 9x more likely to survive it than an office worker. So despite the propaganda there in fact is such a thing as a healthy tan and shit like the cancer council and the heart foundation just exists so fail people can have a bureaucratic cope for being unhealthy, and have that backed up with junk science that goes against the entire human narrative of what constitutes a dynamic and meaningful way of living. So what now

[insanefastone]

it was a lot easier to ask for things for christmas when i was younger. i was five, so if i was shown a toy i probably would say i wanted it. being a five year old, i mostly cared about the receiving part - a stuffed dog, a bucket of tiny horses, a playmobil train, didn’t really matter, it was mine now. a few years later pokemon began airing on tv and anything with pikachu on it was guaranteed to be a hit. im unsure of the occasion but i remember being given literal math practice books at some point and loving doing my additions and multiplications because they were pokemon themed. it was truly so, so easy.

then i got a little older and my desires started to get a little more complex. pikachus were still pretty cool and all but i wasnt happy with just any toy anymore: i cared about my cartoons and the things i saw in commercials, and so i would ask for those things. i knew about super soakers, and nerf guns, and moon shoes, and sock ‘em boppers, but i also knew the difference between, say, a stuffed animal of a brown dog and one of scooby doo. i knew disappointment, too, because i could tell when i was handed something in lieu of the other. at the time i couldnt have possibly understood why the substitutions got made, but i could see when it happened.

then i got a little older and developed hobbies and preferences. i had opinions on things, i had feelings, and i started to learn how to express these ideas. i could articulate why one thing could not be a substitute for another, and how i felt when it was handed to me anyway, and also what i thought about being given a great many things i did not ask for instead of those that i did. i became frustrated with clothes and socks and other such things because i knew that when i needed them we could go get them. they didnt feel special or thoughtful. they seemed like an excuse to have one more box to hand me, one more thing to play coy about, one more thing to ooh and aah at and take photos of when i eventually held it up. and so the ideals of gift-giving began to erode.

of course, i hadnt quite learned of the whys. they were specifically kept from me, and from my sisters, so we could play family (as it were). theyre pretty evident now, knowing what i know as i type this, but at the time things kind of just. crumbled away. there were some nice surprises where the spirit felt alive and real, like the year we received ipod nanos. (3rd gen, i think? they were skinny but still had a touch wheel with the button in the center.) i remember crying incoherently as i held mine, and i also remember my entire family being stunned and confused (they clearly hadnt expected that reaction either). i think i was simply overwhelmed to have been given such a nice thing after coming to expect disappointment.

there was also the year we were given the gamecube, and our game boy advance sps, but they didnt feel as special because we knew it was mostly since an older cousin had given us her super nintendo and our parents wanted us to entertain ourselves. it actually led to a lot of frustration that our parents didnt attempt to understand, because you cannot do ‘similar to’ with a video game unless you actually bother to find out what it is. which really started to highlight what felt weird about the gift-giving all those years: whose thoughts, exactly, have gone into this ‘thoughtful’ gift?

it’s a hard question to answer, and really depends on who you are talking to. this being tumblr, i can assume someone reading is familiar with ‘i see a cool bug/rock/blorbo’ -> ‘i send it to my cool bug/rock/blorbo friend’. it’s kind of ingrained in the culture. but we also (largely) understand that theres variance and specialty within these categories, that not all blorbos are the same, and that most blorbos are very different, actually, to the point where people debate what constitutes an ‘actual’ representation of the ones they care about. but theres also people that dont care that deeply and are mostly only there because their friend is, or because they like the character’s design, or any number of other reasons, and knowing where to meet them on their interest kind of requires knowing more than just ‘oh they like this’.

and so we get disconnects, and misunderstandings, and disappointment, and frustration. and we get not knowing why one thing is ok but another isnt, or why you can interchange two things but this third one is unacceptable, it seems like theres no way of knowing but could you have known? was this there all along? did i skip i question or, more importantly, pass on an answer i was given? and so i think upon such things. and i see where things could have diverged, or evidence thereof. and i consider that to give and receive not only requires two, but also a connection to have been made. ‘oh!’ you might say, ‘that mug has a pikachu and some snowflakes on it! i always send something with a pikachu, this will be that this year!’ and you mail it and it sits on my shelf, unused. collecting dust. i dont even use it to store anything.

and so i began seeing what the thoughts were. i saw that i was given twelve balls of yarn in six different colors because theyre fun and aesthetically pleasing, but the thought did not contain ‘this is not enough of an individual color to make anything larger than hat and scarf’. i saw i was given a shirt that says ‘# serf life’ on it because it was meant as a family joke and i do think it is a funny shirt to wear, but the thought did not contain how i felt about what the joke references at the time it became a ‘joke’. i saw i was given some books i had asked for by title and volume number because i have been trying to get the entire out-of-print series, but the thought did not contain ‘i wonder why candy only ever asks for these specific books’. over several years i saw i was given many books that are similar to but not within the series (or even genre) i was obsessed with because they get sorted together as ‘humorous coffee table nonfiction’ at bookstores, but the thought did not contain what i liked about that series (trivia compilations), why i stopped reading that series (poorly verified), or why i had nothing to say about most of the previously gifted books.

and it goes on. years of this. we even do a grand show of sharing our christmas lists with each other, and fussing about getting under one roof to share them, and making a whole ceremony (complete with photographs) of opening everything, and sharing ‘oh i was at this place and thought of you when i saw it’, and it goes round and round and round and i am always just sitting there wondering if the next thing thats handed to me will actually have me in mind or it will simply be ‘thoughtful’.

i just dont know what to ask for christmas anymore.