#i just dont think im tumblr brainwashed enough for it

[whatcannotbesaid-shallbewept]

Wondering whether as a fantasy reader, i should read Gideon The Ninth next

Every time it trends I get a little closer to reading it I think...

[shoppinghauer]

My main issues with online feminism, which includes hispanic instagram (LatAm and Spain) and tumblr anglosphere (think Europe + USA sometimes Australia) are:

They think of non single women (married or with a bf) as the primary pick me in society. I dont doubt a lot of them priorize their man but also, the way feminist depict them as "brainwashed" is just childish. My main problem is that obscures the fact that you can priorize men even if you're not in a romantic relationship with them. Boymoms, male relatives such as brothers or fathers are constantly excused or justified just as much as romantic partners. Yet Ive barely see criticism against this. Whats more is that mothers are excused as if the pressure of maternity excuses throwing under the bus your own daughter (why is never the other way around?? Fucking over your son bc of your daughter). Even women have justified horrendous actions made by their male friends (trans or gay) in cases where there is no attraction involved. Just social leveraging.

Speaking of attraction. The way they talk about assault as being a result lf violent sexual desire aka pretth privilege doesnt exist because hot women are more attacked. This is by far the most imbecile of all takes. Assault and sexual violence are a result of control and domination, not attraction. The more vulnerable a woman is, the likelier she will be assaulted. This includes older women, girls, runaways, homeless, sick, disabled, immigrants, addicts and poor women. This has nothing to do with how you look and everything to do with how much will men get away with assaulting you. The fact ive read "are you saying elderly or poor women arent attractive" when talking about assault is proof that even among so called feminists, the idea that sexual violence stems from attraction is still ingrained. Stop it for the sake of god.

I know fish can't see water but american feminists really really ignore how much of their culture affects misogyny worldwide. The impact of the american worldview on misogyny is not little stuff. The consumerist, hollywoodesque point of view is native to the USA. American feminists call this "liberal feminism" to distance themselves from what is just plain american misogyny. This shitshow of "eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man" is a product of the american perspective of making everything a marketing campaing. This goes back to Max Revlon, Edward Bernays and other PR gurus who knew that the best way to make profit was to market everything. American feminists are limiting their analysis by thinking this is a matter of contradictory branches of feminism (lib vs rad) and not a matter of americanized misogyny. Lets remember radfem stems from marxism, the actual one not the tumblr version.

The way how no one actually read books but everyone wants to say something smart. From "capitalism of words" to "you can escape from labor exploitation by being a tradwife " everyone loves to post half assed essays who say stupid shit or not saying anything at all. Ive been accused of being a russian psyop, an spanish white woman with guilt, or even wishing rape on another woman just for stating sociology 101 points. Basic knowledge of marxism is a must if you call yourself a feminist. Im sorry but how else are you gonna understand women's oppression today (in a capitalist system) if you think tankies are psyops. Gimme a break, some of you are worse than breadtubers.

The lack of interest in women's news around the world. Basically if it isnt a major tragedy in Europe or USA or a fucked story about the Middle East (which for the majority, those countries are interchangeable, see: "if she's from Algeria why isnt she in a hijab" even tho Algeria is in Africa but whatever), no one cares about women. The North American continent got its first female president, Claudia Sheinbaum, and everybody in here was busy whining about a stupid pop princess poll bc a nobody TIM got the upperhand. Cmon. Spanish feminist were more preoccupied about a fat woman announcing New Year's Eve than the historical election of a woman in a hispanic country. And that is just the most egregious example.

If i think of anything else Ill add it but this is my experience as someone who has been on feminist circles for a decade.

[dr-spectre]

So brainwashed Callie in official content is cringe. Do you feel the same about it in Fanfiction? Have there been any takes on Hypno Callie that you enjoyed?

Honestly? I don't feel the same way about it in fanfiction. There's a lot of information and different takes floating around about certain things in the franchise so I dont necessarily blame people for using the word "brainwashed" for Callie in their fanfiction. The English localisation of Splatoon has said she was brainwashed despite other languages and the original Japanese version not using the word. At least from my own knowledge. So I get why most fans would take that information and immediately believe it's true.

Plus there's more people talking about what actually happened to Callie on twitter and tumblr which is really incredible to see!!! Im so happy to see Callie being treated with more respect!!!!! It is a night and day difference compared to the treatment in 2017 to 2020.

Surprisingly enough I don't actually consume a lot of fanfiction. I can read my own writing easily but I can't read others that well and... I feel really bad about it... but I have read a bit of this one fanfiction that got Hypno Callie 99% right. I fucking forgot the name but i was recommended it by someone in the past, it had "dome" in the name? It was about DJ Octavio and the Octarian domes.

The way they explained the shades was actually really interesting and unique! It's basically shades that play catchy music and that's how Callie got hypnotised. It fits in line with DJ Octavio too as he's well... a DJ. Plus daydreaming and listening to music goes hand in hand so it has some basis in reality too. Everyone at some point has been put into a daydream state when vibing out to music.

Although I say 99% because there's this one line that Callie says, "Are these shades brainwashing me?" And it was so clunky I'm sorry LOL. And there's this implication that its also doing something further to Callie's brain but it's not that explained well, which i really dont like. Other than that, my Hypno Callie content is mainly fanart and 99% of that has been phenomenonal and powerful stuff.

However.... my biggest fucking gripe in "fan content" if you wanna call it that is... timeline videos and people going over plot details and stuff like that.

These people actually do RESEARCH and spend a lot of time analysing the story of Splatoon and trying to put the pieces together. Yet for Callie it feels like they just do a quick read through of Inkipedia and that's it because they dont give a flying fuck about her character. It drives me fucking psychotic and i cant be safe watching Splatoon videos anymore. How hard is it to say hypnotised? HOW HARD IS IT?!?!?! JUST USE THAT WORD!!! THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO!!! GOD DAMN!!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD BRAINWASHED AT ALL?!?!?!

It's really disappointing to me that this outdated timeline video is the ONLY VIDEO to say Callie was hypnotised and not "brainwashed." And that... makes me kinda pissed off.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!

YOU TOO!!!!

I can't even watch these videos anymore man. I'm sad. I'm not even trying to send hate over to them, they put in a lot of work... except for a character I really care about....

Imagine you like a particular character and you feel really strongly about them. Now Imagine people saying wrong or yucky things about that character and treating it as fact despite you knowing "Hey something is not right here. I think there's more here than people realise." And all the most popular and well liked content is spreading that kind of information around about your favourite character. It would drive you crazy yeah? I'm sure everyone has that one character in every fanbase.

Anyways, thanks for the ask! Sorry if it was long... I tend to ramble about Hypno Callie LOL! (Autism)

[the-l0ser-st4r]

HI HELLO ITS ME I DIED BUT LETS SKIP THAT BIT-

nah jk, i actually almost got caught on tumblr and it scared the fuck outta me so i've been inactive on my blog for a while sorryyy. also i got sidetracked watching mlp lol cause i finished rewatching miraculous and was bored. JEEZ I FORGOT HOW INTENSE THE WAS 😭 (in miraculous btww)

YOU MADE A POST ABT ME AWW THATS SO SWEET I MISSED YOU TOOO

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?? GOOD HOPEFULLY??

i swear adulthood like brainwashes people into forgetting childhood ISSUES. cause i also remember specific shit abt my "younger years" like bitch (my MOTHER) i fucking rmbr when you LOCKED ME IN A DAMN ROOM WHILE YOU SLAPPED THE SHIT OUTTA BE EVEN THOUGH I DID NOTHING. I REMEMBER YOU SLAPPING MY SIS SO HARD ON THE FUCKING BACK THAT THE FOOD SHE WAS EATING FLEW OUT? I REMEMBER GETTING THROWN ACROSS THE ROOM TF YOU MEAN YOU DIDNT DO THAT?? OR WHEN YOU FUCKING INSULT ME LIKE IM A WORTHLESS PIG IN THE CAR BEFORE GETTING OUT AND GOING TO CHURCH LIKE NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED omg im gonna actually die of like suffocation or smth if i dont calm down lmao. point is, my parents dont remember shit from their childhoods and dont learn from it so we fucking suffer?? (its fineee when you ramble, i kinda like it cause YOU GET IT)

anywaysss, did i tell you my kinda friend had covid and im sure he's fine but we had a super long and slightly awkward chat? it was nice but FUCK i cant help wishing it happened againnn (insert a face thats screaming and crying while also smiling idk). alsoo i think my friends talked abt me (got no proof or anything) cause they always talk abt each other skipping school. its sad but idc heheee. they also suck at fucking gossiping like how the fuck?? 💀 the other day, they got gifts for their teacher and my friend from the other class was with us and she looked sad and i asked what was wrong and apparently they'd shit talked her IN FRONT OF HER FACE. FUCKS SAKE, THEY GOSSIP LIKE TINY CHILDREN AND CANT EVEN MANAGE TO DO IT WITHOUT HURTING SOMEONE?? UGH its like some mean girl cliche that fucks me offfff

anywhoo, bye rumii <33 (DONT FUCKING DIE PLEASE, I KNOW SHIT FEELS BAD BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS TALK TO ME AND IF YOU WANT TO START TALKING JS RB ONE OF MY PREV ASKS AND I'LL SEND AN ASK IN REPLYY)

-��� anon :)

GASP HIIIIII :DDDDDDDDDD

oh shit that's not good. glad you didn't tho <3 :3 that's so real lol IT ISSS, like ik it's a kids show but DAMNN

I DIDDDD, GLAD UR BACK :DD (gasp you missed me too?? :D)

i've been..alright?? ig?? (this may be a ramble lol) during the summer i've been so determined not to eat too much and have had literally NO motivation to get up and make food anyway (cause I've been so drained all the time, also executive dysfunction I think idk) and my parents (not just my mom this time) are worried cause along with me being tired all the time, my hair is thinning?? they think it might be a deficent of some sort so I have to take blood tests and shit but likeee..I think it's js bc I'm sad all the time and i'm not eating enough. I wouldn't need supplements if I js change my eating habits and actually had motivation to make food. but I can't tell them that haha cause they don't know I have bad mental health at ALLLLL. they know SHIT abt my sh and my ed. it's insane. I've been keeping it from them for a couple years now. I told them that I always feel tired, and my mom basically interrogated me yesterday and I was trying to hint that I'm not ok by being like "it's not always a physical tired" and she's like "are you mentally tired?" and then I chickened out and instead of saying yes I literally said "idk how being mentally tired feels like all I know is that I'm not always physically tired" I'm literally js physically and mentally exhausted most of the time but all my parents know is that I'm physically exhausted and it's js so jhgahfdjahffjahfueuabca

I'm too scared to tell them cause idk how they'd react but I'm pretty sure my mom would say "that's not normal" and then she would bring up ways for it to get better AT HOME. like, can I not even get a disagnosis to see if I'm actually right?? can I not even speak to idk, like, a therapist or something?? I just feel like she'd try and hide it away from everyone (everyone being a huge nepali community we have) and refuse to take me to a therapist bc 'you can talk to us about your mental health' like NO I CAN'T. THERE'S A DIFFERENT SHARING PROBLEMS TO SOMEONE WHO YOU FKN LIVE WITH AND WHO YOU ONLY EVER SEE ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK?? ALSO THEY'RE LITERALLY HAVE A LICENSE AND YOU DON"T?? ORRRRRR she'd take me to at therapist but she's be SO SO nosy after that and always ask how I'm doing and always just be so in my life more than she already is and it wouldn't help at ALLLLLL and would just make things worse OR OR OR, she's just dismiss it completely and say 'you're too young to be feeling this way' or 'you're overreacting'. Idk how my dad would react, maybe he'd yell or smth idk. ANYWAYS SORRY FOR THE RANT HAHA, I'm doing fine ig.

EXACTLY!!! like, my dad got hit a tonnn as a child and he said it 'made him sucsessful' like..it js made you more violent and more angry. I think you could've been a doctor without ur dad hitting you. (also sending you hugs for all that shit you had to put up with)

at least you guys talked :333 ugh sorry abt the shit talking thing btw, that's stupid of them. HOW CAN A PERSON BE THAT BAD AT GOSSIPING?? LIKE, IF UR GONNA SHIT TALK DON'T DO IT IN FRONT OF THEM OML, if they're gonna do it wrong they need to stfu

bye bye lovely <3333 (OK THANK YOU xx)

[ofcowardiceandkings]

I think you mentioned listening to podcasts? Do you have any favorites to reccommend? I've run out of content :(

that i do !

im not entirely sure what kind of podcast you'd be interested in but i'll throw out a few of the goodies in my huge library of stuff , i'll miss out a few of the HUGE podcasts that have been all over tumblr though

a LOT of it is true crime or human interest stuff , or history because im nerd ,, and a few of these dont have nearly enough attention so [shrug] i'll try to keep this short i guess lol this isnt EVERYTHING ive got in my library or listened series' by any measure

i AM gonna pop a shout to both Stuff You Missed in History Class and Stuff You Should Know from iHeartRadio because their HUGE archives have kept me from losing my mind many times over , and they cover a wide range of both important and wacky topics

BomBARDed (ongoing) this is the only fiction podcast i have happening right now really but its DAMN GOOD ONE .... it's an actual-play D&D 5E podcast in the DMs own musically-inspired world, focussed on a group of multiclass bards going to music school !! and all players (+DM) are members of the Texas band Lindby !! and they actually use and play music in the show with one original song an episode !! Kyle's worldbuilding and storycraft are truly incredible, and (Nick) Goodrich, (also Nick) Spurrier, and Ali's characters are in depth and interesting as well as an absolute powerhouse :') i actually made a piece for its first fanzine, Bardic Dreaming, which published earlier this year and is free to view now, all the players and the community are super wholesome its just very good overall 💙

History & Humans;

Fall of Civilisations (ongoing) legit one of my favourite podcast finds, im so glad my youtube autoplayed one of these ... it took me like 2 hours to realise it was 1) not the same as what was playing before and 2) had been on for 2 hours and wasnt near finished lmao. anyway, this is a series by historical fiction writer Paul Cooper, and is honest to all thats good one of the best documentary series ive encountered in years - and ive consumed a LOT of documentaries. it covered the downfall of various civilisations through history, and the episodes run from an hour to FOUR hours depending on the topic. its so chill to listen to and just get done, but over the pandemic all of the episodes have been given full movie-quality video versions too on youtube if youre more of a visual person.

Casting Lots: A Survival Cannibalism Podcast (on series break) yeah that says that lol ... its a SUPER niche topic but its very interesting and treated very well despite being kind of comical at times, the hosts are just naturally funny lol ... it delves around from the history of cannibalism in whole regions to specific incidents as recently as the 1970s, and of course the first episode is about the Donner Party, and it covers things ive never heard of despite being kind of important ?? anyway Alix and Carmella are good eggs

Sawbones (ongoing) i probably dont need to mention much here other than say that Justin and Sydnee saved me from being SO BORED sooo often, the history of medicine is wacky as hell and its what most of my history GCSE was on so [shrugs]

Cautionary Tales (on series break) this was a wild-card find lol ... it's by Tim Harford "the undercover economist" who writes for the Financial Times, and its topics kind of weave modern topics and science with how to learn from historical errors ... its a bit weird but well worth a go, also each series has a few celebrity guest voice actors which is pretty awesome

Ephemeral (ongoing) this is a very strange but thought provoking series about sounds and other things just barely saved. topics include the last castrato, the hello girls, hand-stamped records, the spread of kīkā kila music, and acoustic fossils of wild places.

Neat! The Boozecast (ongoing) history and bartending whats not to like lol ... hosted by Teylor Smirl and now their dad Tommy, they're just digging around in how important booze is to human culture

True Crime (white collar and weirdness);

Swindled (ongoing) this is an amazing show full stop. A Concerned Citizen details some of the most impactful and unruly things to happen in white collar and corporate crime. very factually accurate but given the sheer bullshit of the topics the deadpan snarking is [chefs kiss] absolutely warranted ..

American Scandal (on series break) this one is a series within a series type, and spends a few episodes at a time poking holes in some of America's biggest scandals, from a dramatised but fact-based point of view. such as what the hell was going on with Enron, how big tobacco was forced to own up to covering its own ass, how Iran-Contra happened, etc. it also now has a sister show called British Scandal, which does the same thing for British cases but with a slightly different format.

Missing in Alaska (finished) this was a fascinating series, a deep dive into what happened to two US government officials who disappeared on a small chartered flight in Alaska in 1972. it goes some really strange places, but it actually turned up a lot of previously unknown information through the audience. John Walczak's new series in a new feed is Missing on 9/11 which looks into what happened to Dr Sneha Philip.

Pretend (ongoing) Host Javier Leiva holds interviews with anyone living a lie, or who have been touched by them. con artists, snake oil salesmen, former cult members, catfishing victims, anyone and everyone.

Power: The Maxwells (finished) hosted by journalist Tara Palmeri, the story of media tycoon Robert Maxwell from nothing to empire to mysterious death and the scandals uncovered after he was gone.

Lets Talk About Sects (ongoing) Sarah Steele covering cults from around the world, in particular those in Australia - where she is from. She often has former members on the show to share their stories, and share knowledge of how they left. each story has the relevant content warnings at the start of each episode.

Brainwashed (finished) investigation of the CIA's covert mind control experiments, centred on the experiments performed at a hospital in Montreal, and its cultural impact.

Dr Death (2 series finished) two series investigating huge cases of fraud and medical malpractice, and how they were brought to a stop. series 1 covers Dr Duntsch and his horribly butchered neurosurgery, series 2 covers Dr Fata and his fraudulent cancer clinic

The Immaculate Deception (finished) untangling the weird and disturbing fertility fraud of Dr Jan Karbaat, who fathered children himself through his fertility clinic, and the impact of his deception. later episodes also touch on other similar cases.

True Crime (Violent/General);

The Casual Criminalist (ongoing) Simon Whistler of-the-many-youtube-channels cold reads a script about the case of the day, with some of his daft commentary thrown in.

Southern Fried True Crime (ongoing) Crimes from the American South hosted by Erica Kelley, she puts all the facts out there but refreshingly for true crime she doesnt hesitate to tell you if she thinks someone is human garbage lol

They Walk Among Us (ongoing) probably one of the most popular UK crime podcasts, very measured and well put together, not weird or annoying about it either.

All Crime No Cattle (ongoing, feed slowed down for now) specifically about crimes from Texas, hosted by Erin and Shay, they're very sensitive hosts and a lot of the cases they cover shed light on why the Texas criminal system is how it is or show an impact at a national level

Canadian True Crime (ongoing) Canadian crime from an Aussie who's lived there for a decade, Kristi is again a sensitive and measured host covering some important topics

True Crime (Violent/Deep Dive);

Hitman (finished) journalist Jasmyn Morris digs around in the sticky tangle around a book published by fringe publisher Paladin Press, and its apparent use as a blueprint in the killing of a mother, her friend and her 8 year old boy for financial gain.

Camp Hell: Anneewakee (ongoing) this series is exploring how a wilderness camp "correctional facility" was endorsed by the Georgia care and juvenile reform system, despite widespread abuses and shady practices the whole time. warning for csa and child cruelty throughout.

True Crime Bullshit (on series break) this one is a huge huge rabbithole but a very interesting one where the host Josh Hallmark has spent years digging into the life and potential crimes of Israel Keyes. Keyes is often mentioned as a serial killer with no pattern, but in picking it apart thats not quite true, and has sparked some re-evaluations of missing persons cases and stumbling upon information the FBI has redacted organically. there's also a series in the middle looking into the crimes of Kelly Cochran

Forgotten: Women of Juárez (finished) this series looks into the huge numbers of missing women of Ciudad Juárez, the strange circumstances surrounding them, and the potential cover-ups and corruptions on both sides of the border, trying to give a voice to all of the forgotten women and girls and their families without answers. the series itself is finished, but a spanish language edition is being released every week now.

aaaaaand i'll call it there before i list everything lol, i hope you find something to plug your boredom hole with !!

[1eos]

Do you think it was R*vi the one who told taemin that he can rap?? Because what a downgrade from crimnal and Idea to that mess that is advice. Also i have the theory that sm is cathering for the Fourt generation public since taemin joined Super m, that's why the music has been BAD. Anyway i am a Shinee fan but i have good taste in music and i am not brainwashed enough to lie to myself and think that Advice is a good song and the album is good, Thank god i have criteria.

STOP ANON ME ND MY MOOTS HAVE TALKED ABT HOW ADVICE HAS R*VI INFLUENCE. nd im not even saying that to be funny. like the heavy autotune w the rapping is VERY r*vi nd the shirtless bit w the tattoos made me think of gifs from one of his mvs i was forced to see all the time before tumblr let u block tags. nd i do think sm is trying to cater to the 4th gen what with aespa nd superm which isn’t a bad thing i think in itself. i just think sm lost sight of what makes them unique.............like u can cater to 4th gen but don’t do it........badly.  nd the killing part is whenever i pop onto twitter i realize that a lot of shawols ARE that brainwashed. i saw someone say ‘dont forget to stream dont call me’ nd i had to move my hair nd read that again. like yall really streaming? dont call me? 😭 im telling u anon us tumblrinas have self respect nd i love that for us

[whindsor]

hey i just wanna start by saying I ADORE YOUR WRITING

honestly it makes my day to see that you've updated

cwcw is my favourtite fanfiction ive ever read with silver and honey not far behind

but i just have to say that for the past couple of chapters mika has seemed off. like shes been more brash than usual and annoying at times. its probably me just being a grumpy old bitch and i dont mean to offend you but i just wanted to ask if theres a reason for her change and personality. i know shes been through some shit but she seems a bit off

im def gonna regret sending this and i already feel bad but i had to ask and i sincerely hope this hasnt offended you

So part of me thinks this is just cause of the situation. She’s barely over the stone sickness, she got put on trial and house arrest, and people keep treating the love of her life like it was his fault hydra brainwashed him and made him kill people. She’s a very loyal person and won’t hesitate to throw hands for her loved ones. So there’s a lot going on in her head and she’s in a very stressful situation.

But I’ll also be brutally honest I’ve been struggling to write either of my stories. I’d say it’s recent but really it’s probably the past six months to a year. I’m having trouble getting into the rhythm with F&WS but I’m afraid to stop and take a break because 1) I have an irrational fear that everyone will stop reading and forget about my pride and joy and 2) I’m super afraid that I won’t be able to start up again. And those fears outweigh my fears of posting something that isn’t quite the way I want it. It used to take me weeks or months to update one chapter and now I have a schedule but I may also have burn out? We’re not looking too close at it.

Your question was neither rude nor offensive and I appreciate that you felt comfy enough to send it. I apologize that the recent chapters haven’t been up to snuff, this may be my sign to take some time off and get things sorted. This was probably way more honest of an answer than you wanted lol but what is tumblr for if not oversharing?

[dog-teeth]

hi ezra. i looked at some of the comments on your 4th of july art and im legitimately worried for you. do you get a lot of anon hate mail, and if so, how do you deal with it mentally?? im sorry people are like that

wahhhh thank u so much for your concern i really really appreciate it!!!! i do get a fair amount of shitty comments on my posts and sometimes anon hate, i never answer it i always just instantly block them bc i think giving their voice a platform and responding to them isn’t healthy or helpful. the fourth of july one was rough, people sooo brainwashed into defending literal genocide on my post was very difficult to see (i blocked a lot of them soon after i posted but there were too many tht kept being added so i turned off notifs and idk whats left on that post lol) and recently i had to delete an old post i made speaking against transmisogyny because TERFs latched onto it and were saying really awful things about trans women and about me, including some triggering trauma stuff. then recently i made a comic about being genderfluid and a bunch of TERFs/radfems were being transphobic on it as well.

ultimately i think what helps me the most is that for every terrible mean comment i get, theres multiple ones that are positive and make me happy, ppl interacting with my art or complimenting me. i’ll admit the negative ones stick more in my head, but i get more positive comments by volume so it outweighs it! i mean ideally i wouldn’t get any bad comments, but the amount of love and support i get makes it worth it. like after that fourth of july post, i got three asks from native americans telling me they appreciated me speaking out against the usa’s imperialism. obviously i still would have done it even without that validation but people voicing their appreciation for what i do was enough to help me deal with the hatred and remember that its worth it to be a voice for what i believe even if theres backlash. and ultimately i know that whatever harassment i endured online for it, indigenous peoples face a hundred times worse due to systemic oppression, so i can suck it up. same with the TERF thing, i would rather they harass me than some innocent trans woman on here even if it hurts, and i dont wanna complain bc i know they deal w the brunt of this type of hate. it hurts me deeply to know there are people out there who hate trans women, who are some of my most precious friends and favorite people, but i’m secure in my love for those im close to and i know they love me too and that means i don’t care so much what some random shitty transphobes say online.

sometimes it does weigh down on me. sometimes i think that i just wasn’t meant to be bombarded with so many strangers opinions, even when they arent being horrifyingly hateful, just being on display like this with so many people having access to my deep emotions and art and opinions gets...heavy. i do it because i love sharing my art, and i love connecting with people, and tumblr has absolutely been a home for me throughout the years, but yeah, sometimes that part sucks.

i mostly deal with it by reminding myself of all the nice comments ive gotten, and of course i have my irl support system with people i know i could talk to about it when it gets to be too intense.

so just another thanks to everyone who leaves nice comments on my art or in my askbox, i don’t reply to a lot of them but i do read and appreciate all of them very very much!!!!! every one i get tips the balance in favor of positivity and love and drowns out the hateful people

[honeymoonjin]

Hi firstly i wanted to say congrats on korea and your job and everything i hope it continues to go well and please share some pictures of korea and maybe in some time you could share how you got the job in korea i wanted to work and move there too in the future! I used to be a writer on tumblr and coincidentally enough I used to be in fwl around the same time you were still an admin and im so disappointed to see all that’s happening but not surprised. I initially joined nets hoping that my fics would get some sort of coverage honestly it was to the point where i was just thankful if it even got reblogged by the net. I loved reading your writing and i followed your blog a lot when i was still writing mainly to learn how to improve my own and i was one of those people who looked up to you and jam******n and at timed felt intimatated bc of the pededstal that she placed herself on and that you were unwillingly placed on although i deep down i knew you were nice i just didnt have the courage to talk to you and for some reason so***is rubbed off the perception to me personally that you were reserved so i never really spoke to you that often but I enjoyed the one time we did chat and by no means am i saying that any of this your fault bc although i never got to know you seem really sweet. I was guilty of writing fic for her and i felt like absolute garbage after spending so much time writing it and knowing she probably never read it it that fic was so hard for me to write bc i never had written ab those topics so i spent so many sleepless nights working on it and in the end wasted all my time for nothing. I dont write anymore and my reasons for doing so are bc of the toxicity of all the nets and some of the people who run it or are under it, i got the feeling that i was never really liked or noticed in some nets and thats beyond my control but the toxicity had gotten so bad that it actually damaged my already shattered mental health to the point where i asked myself am i really that pitiful? do i even exist in this world? And these people just stepped on the shattered pieces like it was nothing honestly with all the drama its worse than high school. Sadly being outcasted drove me away from my orginal love for writing on this platform and once i realized that no one would support me and would only support the person who i originally got into a bit of drama with i couldnt go back on this app thinking the same way i did before. I was also guilty of being in various nets and bhq was one of them and most of them felt like a cult, writers who have been brainwashed into believing the admins were some deity and people who were too afraid to call them out of their bs bc they wanted their writings to be acknowledged and thats totally understandable. Im sorry this is a really long rant/post but since people are finally starting to expose these nets I thought i jump on the bandwagon to expose them a bit and warn others to value yourselves and remove those from your life who dont belong there it took a lot of time and self reflect for me to realize that. thanks for taking the time to read this im really sad we didnt get to know each other better back then and again i hope that the rest of your time in korea treats you well!

Anon from previous extremely long ask but i also forgot to say im sorry you had to go through all of that i had a sneaky suspicion that things fell alart between yoy and her after you left the net and removed her from your blog, and if you need any tips on learning korean please lmk!!

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this is so heartbreaking to read. i am so so sorry that you’ve been through this and had your passion and mental health impacted so severely. i know how that feels, and it’s not something you or anyone deserves. i truly hope that seeing that you aren’t alone can give you some closure, in hearing other people’s stories, and i truly do wish that you can also find your passion again, whether it’s in writing or something else. best of luck and thank you for sharing your story xx

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[alexanderpusheen]

what frustrates me the most abt this china narrative is that the US created al qaeda and ISIS, those groups are recruiting and causing terrorism in xinjiang, china has been trying to handle the situation with re-education programs often suggested by westerners, and its still being treated as this major human rights violation. there are actually dozens of countries with several robust anti radicalization programs that are just as strict, like singapore, colombia, yemen, bangladesh, saudi arabia, and indonesia. this paper ive linked to was even funded by the DHS so like...why has detaining someone and basically reverse brainwashing them out of being a terrorist been so acceptable for so long but now its an issue? 

if you take issue with chinas program, you have to prove its somehow exceptional to these other programs. since we really dont have any way of knowing what is truth or reality thanks to the enormous disinformation campaign going on, you fucking cant. we dont even know what the programs entail because even googling it gets you exclusively hyperbolic concentration camp accusations. 

what i will say is that relations between the han majority and the uyghur minority have been strained since at least the 80s. link is the notoriously conservative and pro US intervention human rights watch, so dont say im using pro commie sources or anything. every time i do any bit of research on this i seem to find an attempt from major news outlets in the early to mid 2000s or late 20-teens to prove this all started or became dramatically worse now, but things have always been tense. and its not really a surprise that things really got bad after the collapse of the soviet union, an event that was geographically close to china and the xinjiang region and also just like, a fucking major global event in general.

what i find to be very odd is just how dramatically the narrative has changed. the diplomat, one of my favorite periodicals, went from taking very nuanced and balanced positions on xinjiang that i almost completely agreed with to being just as aggressive as outlets like the BBC and CNN in the span of five years. they have eleven pages worth of articles on xinjiang, mostly covering the terrorism and beijings response (which i agree is too harsh) and xinjiang muslims’ relationships to the greater muslim world. 

an example is how this article talks about the conflict at the time which warns of escalating violence as a result of han chauvinism and beijing being unable to deal with the extremism holistically. it points out how there were uyghurs captured among taliban ranks in afghanistan and how many might have even been working with ISIL.

The threat will not be an existential one to the Chinese state, as most Uighurs would prefer a peaceful accommodation. But even if only 1 percent of Uighurs hold extreme views, there are 10 million in Xinjiang and even for a state security apparatus as formidable as China’s, 100,000 or more angry people present a tough challenge.

i think its totally right that china does not allow people in that area to have cars, woodcutting tools, and amonium nitrate (which is used in bombs) is very strictly regulated. i completely agree that this is not how you combat terrorism. most people do not want war and broadly punishing these people is itself a human rights violation that went unnoticed until now.

however, in that same year, the diplomat also published this article about the infamous turkestan islamic party. members of TIP are like, literal jihadists lmfao.

TIP fighters call on the world’s Muslims to join the jihad against Western countries in internet videos. Perhaps most worringly for China, the TIP believes that Muslims may fight locally using various means instead of coming to Syria and Iraq to conduct a “holy war” against the “infidel” Western regimes.  

yeah i definitely want to hear more about what these guys have to say. the article is really good because i think it highly illustrates just how dangerous these people are. theyve killed hundreds of people across china and want to establish a fascist religious state in xinjiang. while the article speaks for itself, i believe the last paragraph really highlights why china is being singled out whereas countries like france and canada are considered allies to muslims for whatever reason:

However, as experience has shown, China takes a passive position in the struggle against global Islamic jihad in Syria and Iraq. Beijing has not sent its troops to the Middle East to fight ISIS and has instead confined itself to diplomatic support for Russia and the United States. The Chinese government uses the attacks of Islamic jihadists to persuade Western countries to support Beijing’s position on Xinjiang and turn a blind eye when the freedom and rights of Uyghurs are harshly suppressed by Chinese security forces. Therefore, China is not perceived by the West as a reliable partner in the fight against terrorism. [emphasis mine]

im just a little surprised to see that a lot of these violent attacks from extremists throughout the years have targeted not just han chinese but also other uyghurs. in the west people do not typically sympathize with terrorists as freedom fighters, even on the left, because we know that no matter how angry or how seemingly justified the violence might seem, terrorism is unacceptable and it grossly misrepresents islam. it is a fascist act because those terrorists often follow an extremely right wing version of islam. also, we know that those who carry out terrorist attacks even outside of the west are middle class and professionals in some way, not poor and marginalized people. the level of nuance afforded to terrorists outside of xinjiang is pretty staggering. 

yet in china, there seems to be this excitement than they are killing chinese people, even if some of those chinese are other uyghers or otherwise muslims. those who carry out attacks in xinjiang dont get any nuance or analysis because theyre justified.

ive referenced the diplomat earlier but this article from 2013 says it perfectly: Call Tiananmen Attack What It Was: Terrorism. except terrorism is bad. and the west wants you to support the uyghurs. and make no mistake, they do not want you to support the millions of uyghurs who want to live peacefully, free of any repression, american or chinese. they want you to support the jihadists randomly blowing up chinese and tourists alike because you are meant to sympathize with their plight.

terrorism isnt something to be romantacized or cheered on. it is something someone or someones do when they feel they have no other option. people do not want to kill even those they feel they have every right to because thats a line you cant uncross. murder changes you, justified or not. see the last chapter of wretched of the earth for this.

terrorism is great, however, for destabilizing a region or a country, and xinjiang is resource-rich. establishing a US-friendly regime, no matter how good they are on human rights, is the goal. the US does not care about muslims. they do not care about human rights. china, also, does not really seem to care about muslims or human rights either. but we’ve seen this since vietnam, and the US has learned since vietnam. the vietnamese were sympathetic. they were minding their business. 

after vietnam, merely being communist isnt enough to warrant invasion. theyre killing their own people. nevermind that bolsonaro kills his own people and no one wants to invade (yet--biden has mention sanctions wrt us which is scary but again, thats got everything to do with making sure latin america is loyal to the west, not HR offenses). korea, although it was before vietnam, was less publicized and learning from vietnam gave the US a valuable lesson: always blame the victim. and thus, the US blames the victims of its violence. even if its ‘justified’, even if its ‘true,’ as was the case with saddam hussein, invading and occupying was the nightmare no one but the imperialists anticipated. because they dont broadcast what occupying forces do to the occupied. i am old enough to remember abu ghraib. have it seared in my memory forever. you perhaps are also old enough to remember, but also think millions of abu ghraibs and guantanamo bays are always worth it, always justified. 

i know people arent going to read this and remind me really rudely that they didnt read it but i want to really emphasize how one of imperialism and colonialisms features is ethnic and racial separatism. how the rwandan genocide couldnt have happened without previous belgian and french rule. how yugoslavia wouldve remained a single country had it not been for NATO. i think its easy to diminish the role of the colonizer in all of this, but it is actually one of its goals: divide and conquer. exacerbate the existing conflicts to the point of genocide. 

and if the west succeeds in balkanizing china, you will get more racism rather than less. you will see more violence against muslim minorities rather than less. they will feel less empowered rather than more. china has to learn that they are also to blame in a way that will be catastrophic for over a billion people. han chauvinism and outright racism must be addressed beyond window dressing.

wrapping up, china is in the wrong here. what theyre doing is racist and humiliating a population that has to be empowered. and the one child rule, even for the han majority, is imo fucking evil lol like sorry tankie tumblr im tankie too but i cannot for the life of me accept that as a good thing.... but i also dont buy the accusations of genocide, because even tho a lot of these articles are kind of glossing over it, china is trying to handle the terrorism in the region. imo theyre feeding into it by getting more han in the area, but also having more han but forcing them to take worse jobs would be a show of good will. idk, this situation is extremely complex and frankly, most uyghers do not want secession. 

i also take extreme issue with people saying that adrian zenz is somehow reliable. not only is he a nazi crackpot, hes also literally the only source for almost all of what we know about this in the west. that is not how you do journalism. i dont understand how people are saying ‘yeah hes an extremely fascist grifter but also i believe him because hes anti communist and also anti china’. thats also not really the point? the point is that hes also the ONLY SOURCE on almost all of this, which is alarming. 

i also find it very startling that in order to keep interest in the story, every few weeks the US has to remind people that the chinese are also doing what the US is doing to women in its own camps. forget that the US is separating minors from parents (since 2008). forget that the US is sterilizing women en masse (since 2017). forget that the US is raping women at the border (since there was a border). forget the US even has camps because now they arent even called that anymore. this is not that ‘you can be angry at two things at once’ but a clearly cynical attempt to get its citizens to forget that the US is detaining, deporting, sterilizing, and raping, and gassing non US nationals. 

they are not ‘your own people.’ they are me. the other. i am an immigrant to the US, currently in my country of birth, so i am the other to you, the american. the chinese are doing the evil crime of killing their own. but the americans could never kill their own because they dont consider black americans to be their own. latin american nationals are not their own. bombing millions globally is not their own. thats always justifiable. there is clearly an element of racism in how these crimes are perceived as more or less evil.

the way immigrants and black americans are brutalized in the US is almost naturalized. like its the way things are supposed to be. you can live with that. its upsetting that you have to hear about antiblackness and the like but you know thats just how life is. you dont necessarily call for the US to be sanctioned or bombed by other countries because you believe in the inherent goodness of white america. but countries like china and iran and north korea deserve to be starved and killed for their crimes. and you can never say ‘maybe bombing and starving a country isnt the answer’ because it means you agree with it. you can never say ‘this is clearly propaganda to make me hate another race so much’ because it means youre a genocide denier. im sorry, but again, i remember iraq in 2003, i remember libya in 2011. i dont buy it.

finally, theres been a lot of attacks on asian people in the US lately and if you cannot see the violent way the US talks about china the country and how that influences people to harm asians within the US then idk what else to tell you. people will really believe this shit and say the chinese are all blood thirsty islamaphobes and thus need to be harmed. ‘im not like that! i defend my asian friends from racism!’ thats nice and all but idk how spreading some sinophobic propaganda designed by the US to make you support some kind of violence against one billion chinese people isnt inherently racist. also its unhelpful because sanctions dont really solve problems. but ive spoken too much.

[asherisimmortal-archive]

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew /s

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. buckygenerally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps. but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy (gn) but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

I love Bucky but honestly this guy can be so fucking clueless. I’m sure being mind controlled for 70 years might’ve had something to do with it, but still.

Honestly I was kinda surprised that “family-friendly; don’t upset the largest common denominator” Disney went that route but I am all here for it.

Hit John with a Brick challenge 2k21

The couple’s therapy scene had my Sambucky obsessed self trying not to freak out in front of my homophobic mother it was great

Agreed. Y’know how I said that the first episode was a tad too slow? This one also felt a tad too slow (though not as bad as ep 1), but also too fast at the same time. Everything from character motivations to that line felt either rushed or glossed over.

See five

See five

I am begging for Battlestar to be a commentary on the black best friend steryotype or I am going to lose it.

Don’t have much to add that wouldn’t have me going into a five paragraph “I don’t like Steve” rant so I’ll just say I agree with you and move on lol

Agreed agreed agreed. Lacrimosa is in the public domain anyway. Y’all are just wanting to be special or whatever.

My bet’s on her turning out to be not evil, which would suck because female villains are something that you don’t see enough of in fiction that’s not Disney movies, at least imo.

I’m completely convinced Marvel’s main goal with Bucky is to make us all as emo as possible. Why? I don’t know, but it’s working.

[c2emoved]

3, 21 and 30 >:3

im so mad i was like 80% done with my LONG ASS answer and it somehow got deleted oh well ill start over i GUESS

3 - TBH i was hoping i wouldnt get this one but if u say so............

so Um i know im epic cringe for being attached to low poly viddy game characters but im just the tiniest bit annoyed by ppl going like Ew you think half life man is sexy?!?!? ew old ass wrinkly man xd and complaining when ppl dont draw the characters 100% on model like DUDE firstly the game was made in like 1998 the graphics are gonna be shit and not everyone has to like, conform to that cause people have ART STYLES and also body headcanons and shit and another thing neurodivergent people get attached to characters from fictional media that isnt supposed to be taken that seriously And Thats Ok and im a little sick of people making fun of people for it also when people say Ugh so benry is the new tumblr sexyman huh 🙄 literally hes fucking not idk why people say that, like people can Like Characters quit watering it down to just thinking hes sexy and i mean shit even if people DID think hes sexy then tbh let them be LOL

21 - ....honestly i feel a little bad for saying this bc of my kinnie LMAO but i dont think theres any like conspiracies i actually believe in? like they are fun to think about like ancient aliens and crop circles and whatever the big boys in suits are hiding from us and shit like that i mean to be completely honest i Dont really trust the government like they have a lot of power, enough to be able to hide weird shit from the public and its a little concerning that we have no idea what it is they could be hiding, i mean some people may have ideas but personally i dont know shit, but its still creepy to feel like youre being controlled and brainwashed by the government and shit but idk. aside from stuff like that i dont think theres any like actual specific ~Conspiracy Theory~ i believe in. polybius is kinda sexy though if that counts

30 - tbh i like my hair black like it is but if i had to choose another color to dye it id probably say like dark blue or purple maybe :)

[painmade]

Sorry if this is a weird or personal question, but out of curiosity, what aspects of post-Felina Jesse do you write from your own experience? You have one of the most defined characterizations of Jesse (particularly post-Felina) on RP tumblr, so I guess I'm asking what aspects of him are aspects of you.

wow thank you! i dont think thats a weird question, it’s definitely one i’ve never gotten before so that’s dope!

Well, I grew up in Albuquerque, I’m a meth and heroin addict, I’m about his age (23) I’ve been to rehab again and again... I was never physically tortured the way Jesse was, but I went to a military school for high school and (i know it sounds dramatic but jshfdjahf) was brainwashed and emotionally tortured there, which is i think part of the reason i threw away two full-ride scholarships for drugs. I’m very mentally ill (adhd, mdd, gad, bpd). My girlfriend in high school taught me how to shoot up, like how Jane taught Jesse, which is why I have the unpopular opinion that they were not good for each other and it was not a healthy relationship, ever. My mom is a lot like his mom, only if his mom were an alcoholic addict. The first time I watched BrBa i didn’t even really pay attention to Jesse honestly, but after high school i watched it again and it was like the entire show was suddenly about him. People constantly underestimate me because of my addiction and disabilities, but in reality im a pretty smart person. Plus, I’m weirdly empathetic. I can literally feel what another person would feel, as long as I know them well enough and have enough information about what’s going on; so even the things I’ve never experienced, I’ve researched heavily, because i want my portrayal to be as accurate as possible. Did i mention im a perfectionist lmao OH yeah and i smoke the same kind of cigarettes he does. not on purpose, just coincidence. 

ALSO i have a lot of trauma specifically related to IV drug use; i’ve overdosed four times and died once, seen three people die, been able to bring one person back. it feels like you’re a dead person walking. it’s awful. i think it’s really important to understand that aspect of his character, because it shapes a lot of what he does and why he hates himself so much. being an addict makes you stupid, it makes you selfish, it makes you evil, and all you can do is sit back and watch. someone died in front of me and the first thing i did was check his pockets for cash n dope. didn’t even check his pulse. it haunts you and you can’t go back and do it over, and you cant explain it away by saying you were a kid or you didnt know better (because i was a kid but i did know better. i actively chose to smother out the humanity in myself so i could get high). 

Let me know if you have any more specific questions :3 

[espbee]

season 3 predictions -- manga spoilers ahead (obviously)!

this is all assuming season 2 ends with chapter 91 (the end of wd arc: mob wakes up, goes home, everyones like oh a broccoli? ok then) and maybe the tch shut up and eat omake

edit: okay so i was slightly off with what they ended with (they cut serizawa’s hair earlier instead of adding an omake) but other than that it all works!

tldr: there’s easily enough for a whole 12 episode season! a lot happens in 10 chapters

under a readmore because wow that got long

episode 1

mob’s future prospects assignment (ritsu: “u can be a magician!”)

serizawa now works at spirits and such (ft. reigen cutting serizawa’s hair and bones making it Gay)

there’s two minor cases: the cursed statue and the midlife crisis man.

im not sure what else could go in this episode tbh. maybe mob working out (aka the omake where he’s trying to kick the ball).

episode ends with dimple’s “my era” thing

episode 2

yokai hunter!

which of course also means culture festival

oh man im so excited for that serizawa content

AND for that inukawa content

shou’s there too... so many faves

just a good part overall (i usually forget this mini arc even exists but it’s actually really cute i love how dedicated mob and inukawa are to making the costume and how proud they are when it’s all finished)

episode 3

tsubomi sneezes

100% carried away

“dimple... why don’t you stop doing bad things?”

“the girls peek at you because you’re really handsome!”

mob buys The Shirt :)

lord psycho helmet reveal

it’ll probably end with mezato saying she forgot all about meeting up

OH or with shigeo painting (!!!) and looking over at his classmate drawing lord psycho helmet

as much as i like both of those ideas it’ll actually probably end with the lord psycho helmet reveal... but then is there enough content in that episode?

episode 4

opens mob’s friends getting brainwashed :(

reigen and mob watch the video

teru vs dimple!

minegishi at the flower shop

ritsu and reigen brainwashed

there’s actually a lot of content for this episode so some of this may be in episode 3. maybe the minegishi scene will be moved to back there or something

ends with mob approaching the broccoli

episode 5

keeping with episode 5 always being super emotional, this is the end of the divine tree arc! :)

mob vs teru... two!

also mob vs dimple...

dimple: that shirt is so lame! mob: 100% (this is also where the commercial break will be)

100% trust

*insert the scariest panel in all of mob psycho 100, but animated*

oh no im sobbing now. and so is mob :(

“dimple was a friend” mob’s crying here someone please give him a hug

episode 6

tome quits the telepathy club

the door opens. “it’s takenaka...”

tumblr user espbee goes absolutely feral

i dont think it’ll end with takenaka revealing he’s a telepath but if it does then i guess add the next stuff to episode 7

takenaka backstory :(

takenaka reads mob’s mind and changes his mind about helping them :)

i forgot musashi’s just there the whole time

serizawa turns reigen down :(

episode 7

the hiking trip!

i have a headcanon that we’ll see a mixture of mob and takenaka’s auras when everyone holds hands

i love this part so much... my heart...

mob’s so happy the entire time

the moe aliens dfkjsahfkarhjkdfs

goodbye inukawa

episode 8

announcement that tsubomi’s moving away

they moved the tsubomi hide and seek part to the marathon episode so im not sure what all is going to happen in this episode. maybe there’s an omake? edit: shut up and eat?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! although that might be in the ova

lightning mcqueen kills kageyama “mob” shigeo

again, this follows the pattern of the other seasons: episode 8 is when everything Bad happens, it acts as a turning point (s1 = ritsu kidnapped, s2 = the fire)

oh no... we have to see it animated don’t we

i feel like it’s going to be a cliffhanger and end with him getting hit but if not it might end with teru approaching ???%

episode 9

mob vs teru... three!

the fight will probably take up the whole episode

press f to pay respects to teru’s hair

“i... am kageyama’s... boyfriend rival!”

i bet mob and ???%s conversation’s going to be in black and white (maybe paint on glass but it would be interesting if it simply looked like the manga but animated)

episode 10

mob vs koyama and sakurai

touichirou returns... ew 

everyone knows it’s mob but there’s no consequences to this? have we ever talked about that?

mob vs touichirou

shou time!

mob’s fighting himself... oh man those panels hurt to look at how’s it going to look animated

episode 11

mob vs body improvement club

mob vs ritsu (100% ritsu!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

they’re going to do flashbacks to the first ???% i just know it. oh nooo

episode 12

that part where mob’s face cracks is going to kill me

bones either makes the serirei umbrella scene super gay or just omits it all together

dimple returns

mob “vs” reigen... in which everybody cries

the ending theme’s going to play over the epilogue and i will cry

if anyone has any input please feel free to talk about it in the comments! this is just my guess but im curious what others think

[belyyvclk]

🔥 uhhhhhh characters who are more popular than they deserve to be for 500

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

Incoming salt about MCU character in read more

Disclaimer: i’m not gonna hate you if you like this character, just like you don’t need to hate me for hating her. We’re all grown-ups or mature enough to do that.

It’s just me explaining why I won’t ever ever rp with that character since it’d be painful for both sides.

Now to start off salt:

WAN.DA FUCKING MAXI.MOFF

Boy, ain’t she a bitch. Shall I make a list why the fuck she doesn’t deserve a thing?

Number 1: she’s a fucking Nazi. She didn’t get kidnapped, raised that way, brainwashed whatever. She volunteered to be a Nazi. And I see sometimes people try to explain it as oh but she was so troubled, her country at war and HYDRA offered help :/. Like. Wow. Okay. I hope you realize that this is literally the same reason Hitler became so popular in Germany as well because they were freaking miserable and being miserable for too long leads to anger. Still doesn’t justify all the people they killed. Still doesn’t justify all the people Wanda killed

Number 2: Showing a bunch of PTSD-driven heroes they worst dreams, making them basically have a panic attack in a battle zone. Whatever. Fine I  guess Loki controlled bunch of people and I don’t hate him. Difference between Loki and Wanda is that Loki ultimately got his redemption arc and still not all was forgiven especially from Earth side. In Wanda’s case: she never got to handle any responsibility for this, actions which caused more people to die.

Number 3: I’d think that Civil war scene where she blows up a hospital wouldn't b such a shock for her. I mean. What is killing some unimportant African city amirite Wanda? Yup. I guess sending lovely, precious Banner off to kill a bunch of civilians WHICH LEAD TO HIM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN TO THE POINT OF LEAVING EARTH is all right. I mean :( clint gave her a headache :( seems reasonable enough for her to send to die an entire city if it wasn’t for her hated iron man :(

Number 4:  pressuring Tony to create Ultron. It was all her fault, and don’t even shit with me. Is Tony a crazy scientist? True, he has many flaws but it’s not Tonyy post (this time). She knew this was going to happen. She was happy to see Ultron. She wanted to send off Ultron to kill Avengers, she must have known there was gonna be some other casualties.  In Ultron’s words: you can’t break some eggs if you want to make an omelet. She only turned on Ultron when she realized she and her brother are gonna die too.

Number 5: she got offered a position in Avengers even though from what we were shown, there was literally 0 blame on her, they instead all blamed it on Tony going crazy (im guessing not even avengers now that theres so much fault on tony for creating ultron, as theres on bucky for killing all those people as winter soldier) and even though Banner was still missing BEACUSE OF HER

Number 6: the whole vision/wanda romance makes me want to puke just thinking about it. but its mostly from reasons above. making vision love her still isnt fucking redemption story mcu.

Number 7: CIVIL WAR. Okay I hear you - her saving Captain and ‘accidentally’ killing another ‘unimportant African City number 3424′ was a mistake. Mistakes happen, Avengers are still people, it was his and cap’s fault for reacting emotionally. Whatever. What isn’t okay - acting like after killing a whole building of civilians freaking home arrest for a few days while Tony cleans up their mess is something to whine about. News flash: home arrest was the same punishment Clint and Scott got after the whole thing. News flash: when you’re a suspect in a case you often cannot leave town and especially a country. So no. Tony wasn’t a controlling abusive asshole for keeping Wanda in compound, he was OBEYING A LAW AS A FUCKING AMERICAN CITIZEN. But I guess since Wanda was in USA illegaly in first place guess laws dont apply to her :///

TL/DR: Wanda is a Nazi, civilian killing, mind controlling, law breaking asshole who acts like she’s 5 even though she’s like over 21 years old, and her best move is to blame all the bad things that happen to her on someone else aka Tony. I guess I see why such a big popularity of tumblr loves her. Blaming your misery on some rich asshole who obviously doesn’t beat himself up over literally every little flaw in his personality unlike the BITCH, i mean Witch seems to be playing right into tumblr’s thing.

MY character wouldn’t freaking be able to have a normal conversation with her just because of two words “HYDRA” and “MIND CONTROL”

I’m excited if she’s getting her TV show because hopefully they gonna show us some behind scenes facts where wanda somehow redeems herself.

Until that: she’s shit. She’s absolute shit.