#i know it is queue fault but damn

[hl-obsessed]

leave it to @savebylou to randomly reblog random ass post from months ago, that you totally forgot about, and jumpscare you

[neverendingford]

.

[cuntyji]

something something cat dad sukuna -> all crack, so much crack...f reader

it’s chaos. not the cute, manageable chaos of, say, a dinner burning slightly in the oven while your playlist hits the embarrassing part of the queue. no—this is unholy, full-throttle, furball-fueled pandemonium. 

your cat tulip’s kittens have officially declared war on domestic peace, and they’ve done it in the most dramatic way possible: by detonating out of their plush little nest like popcorn under pressure.

and of course, your boyfriend, your bold, beautiful, occasionally brainless sukuna, decides that now—now—is the time to show you his natural aptitude for animal care. 

how? not with logic, not with containment strategies, not with a single ounce of thought.

no. sukuna simply throws himself into the fray like a man possessed.

you walk into the room expecting a quiet moment of kitten-cuddling. maybe a photo-op. instead, what you get is this walking, talking jungle gym of regret. 

there’s one kitten nestled in the folds of his extremely impractical hair like it’s the damn lion king up there, tail flicking dangerously close to his eye.

another is chilling in the wide collar of his shirt like it owns him now. two are just hanging from his biceps, little claws dug in like they’re clinging to a rollercoaster.

his pockets are squirming. he’s got a wild-eyed look on his face like he’s solving quantum physics with tiny fuzzy variables.

“okay, okay, this is fine,” he mutters, crouching slightly and wobbling as a kitten starts scaling his back like everest. “they’re small. they don’t weigh much. i’m strong. i’ve got this.”

he does not got this.

you can see the exact moment one of the bicep-clingers decides that this is, in fact, a terrible place to be, and launches itself in the direction of the kitchen. sukuna flinches like he’s been stabbed. “brat, NO—okay. all right. okay, regroup. we’re regrouping.” he’s saying this as another kitten attempts to crawl into his shirt. not under, into. like it’s returning to the womb.

“they’re everywhere,” he whispers to himself, turning very, very slowly like he’s afraid of upsetting the delicate balance of kitten limbs currently latched to his person. “how do they multiply? do cats—do cats do mitosis?”

you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. you opt for filming it.

tulip is watching from her perch on the windowsill like she’s just enjoying the show. she yawns. yawns.

meanwhile, sukuna is trying to negotiate with the one on his head. “you wanna stay up there? that’s cool. you do you. king of the mountain. just, please, don’t pee. not again.”

there’s a long, horrible pause. 

sukuna’s face goes pale. “woman,” he says, dead serious. “i think it’s peeing.”

and honestly, this is your fault. because you left him alone with them for five minutes. five minutes! this is why you can’t have nice things. or, well—you can, but they end up living in your boyfriend’s hair like a sentient, meowing crown.

you do take a picture, though. because there is something transcendent about sukuna—beefy, mildly panicked, hair full of kittens—making eye contact with the camera and whispering, “this is fine. this is all under control,” while one of the biceps babies starts licking his ear like a popsicle.

you will never let him live this down. tulip will see to that personally.

[nateezfics]

hi love! may i request how ot8 would react to your skirt being a little cheeky at the amusement park?

love your work and hope you're doing well 🩷����

❝ wearing a short skirt on your amusement park date ❞

: ̗̀➛ ateez’s reaction to you wearing a short skirt on your amusement park date. 2.3k words.

: ̗̀➛ ateez; boyfriend!ateez. established relationship. fluff. smut (suggestive).

: ̗̀➛ warnings: minors do not interact! suggestive sexual content. mentions of sexual themes. possessiveness. public displays of affection/arousal. tbh there’s nothing explicit so there’s really nothing to warn about lol. strong language. fem bodied!reader. intentional lower case and small font.

hongjoong

god, you tested his patience. you really knew how to flirt your pretty little fingers around all his buttons, never fully pressing them but being so dangerously close to doing so. always just enough to make him tense and the prominent vein on his neck to pop a little.

hongjoong was in the queue right behind you as you stepped onto the ride. your absurdly short skirt fluttered as you did so, and from his position he was able to see the little pink panties you wore underneath...and so was everyone else, including the ride attendant who gawked at you like a deer in headlights. you plopped down into the cramped seat, blissfully unaware — or you just didn’t seem to care — while hongjoong had to mentally count to ten to keep himself from turning on that guy for even daring to look at you. though, he supposed it wasn’t all his fault; you were the one who decided to wear a fucking mini skirt to an amusement park.

“you know,” hongjoong began, settling himself next to you on the ride. “i really question your reasoning for wearing that.” He tugged at your skirt just as you both brought the bar over your laps. your thighs looked so pretty all exposed, mental images of your panty clad ass flashing in his mind, and hongjoong really wished that dumb ride attendant would stop throwing glances your way.

you smiled which only served to aggravate him more. “it’s such a cute skirt and i haven’t worn it yet! plus, it’s so hot outside today,” you reasoned with him while you watched others pile onto the ride. hongjoong scoffed.

“you sure you didn’t just wear it to drive me crazy?” he gripped your thigh tight, his fingers just under the hem of your skirt. “you think you’re so cute, huh? but let’s see how cute you are once i get you home.”

the ride jerked to life and began to move, his grip remaining firm. you smiled internally. your little plan worked, just like you knew it would.

seonghwa

seonghwa loved being close to you. he did, really. but it was so hot out today, and within the concretes and metals and crowds of the amusement park, it was scorching. your body was sweaty against his own. as much as he loved being near you, it was too hot for it. but you decided to wear one of the shortest skirts you owned today of all days, and he stuck close behind you to keep you from flashing anyone.

“hwa,” you whined as you both waited in line for the next ride. the sun was beaming down on you. you shuffled in place uncomfortably. “can you like, give me some space here? it’s hot as balls out here.”

seonghwa didn’t move an inch. he stayed in place, his taller form close behind you. you both probably looked ridiculous to everyone around you; they were all probably thinking you were that kind of couple. “sorry, can’t do that. not when you’re on the verge of flashing everyone in this damn park. what made you think wearing a mini skirt to an amusement park was a good idea?”

you huffed. “i don’t know. i just wanted to!” you tried to step forward, but two hands kept you firmly in place. “hwa, it’s really not that bad.”

“baby, one gust of wind and everyone can see your ass. and personally, i’m not too keen on everyone getting a view of you like that.” the queue moved, and you both shuffled a few steps forward.

“i’m wearing underwear —”

“god,” seonghwa groaned, his hands tightening on your hips. he was even closer now than before, his front pressed flat against your back. he dipped his head to whisper in your ear. “either you deal with me like this, or i’m taking you home and ripping this skirt off you. understand?”

you nodded slowly, a little taken aback by his words. that second option didn’t seem like that bad of a choice….

yunho

yunho wasn’t keen of your skirt at the beginning of your date, and he certainly wasn’t fond of it now as he watched you throw your leg over the carousel horse. your skirt was so short, and as you straddled the horse it did little to cover your ass. he took a second to appreciate the sight of your panties peeking under what your skirt couldn’t quite cover, but then he noticed the people behind you were also appreciating the view.

“you’re going to be the death of me,” yunho whispered to himself as he got on the horse behind you, much to your confusion.

“there’s a free horse right here,” you said, pointing to the horse next to you where he should have been. you looked at him over your shoulder, and you caught the dip of his gaze.

“i’ll sit here. this spot’s got a…good view.” his gaze lingered on your ass for a moment as he hoped his larger frame could block you from the sight of those behind him. he groaned inwardly when you wiggled your ass; his dick twitched and fuck it this was not the time or place for this.

you giggled when you realized, unbothered that you’d flashed more than just your boyfriend. you noticed the bob of his adam’s apple before you turned to the front again. even as the carousel began to spin, you felt his eyes remain on your backside.

yunho was thankful when the carousel stopped and the two of you were off, but his pants felt a little more snug than they had before the ride. he grabbed your smaller hand and lead you towards the park exit, not giving you any other choice but to follow him.

“yunho, where are we going?”

he didn’t even look back. “home so i can get you out of that fucking skirt.”

yeosang

yeosang was not one to say much about your outfit choices, even during times like this when you were skipping around the amusement park in what appeared to be the shortest skirt he’d ever seen you wear. he was walking behind you, struggling in silence, eyes glued to your backside even though he tried so hard not to stare.

you whirled around with a beaming smile. “yeosang, let’s go ride the ferris wheel!” your skirt twirled when you turned to face him; you undoubtedly just flashed everyone around you. yeosang was really going through it.

“uh, okay, baby. let’s go ride it.” yeosang was thankful the ferris wheel carts were enclosed. the last thing he wanted was you hoisted in the air for the whole park to see under your skirt. but inside the cart, you really must have wanted him to suffer when you plopped yourself right on his lap.

“fuck, baby, what are you trying to do to me?” his low voice was raspy, a groan slipping out when you shifted in his lap to make yourself more comfy. he felt himself starting to get stiff, and getting a hard on on a ferris wheel was not ideal.

you faced him and smiled; you looked so innocent, but there was a mischievous gleam in your eyes that he couldn’t miss. “i’m not doing anything, yeo.”

yeosang let out a sound that was a combination of a scoff, groan, and laugh. “bull shit.” his palms were grazing your thighs and traveling upwards, fingers dipping under your skirt. he swallowed hard when you gasped, the sound going straight to his dick. “god, i can’t believe you. i hope you’re planning on helping me out here, right?”

san

“and we have a winner!” the amusement park employee handed san the prize he’d won, a large plushie just about the size of his whole upper body. san was quick to hand it to you, laughing at the way you struggled to hold it.

in your excitement, you twirled around, your newly won plushie squished in your arms. but your skirt, a bit too short, flew up and gave a quick flash of the pink panties that lied underneath. “san, i love it! what should i name it?”

san laughed nervously, quickly drawing to your side and smoothing his hands over your hips to keep your skirt down. “i’m glad you love it, but baby,” he practically whined at you. “you can’t be out here twirling like that. you wanna flash the whole park?”

you giggled, snuggling your plushie tighter. “sorry, sannie.”

san smiled and kissed the top of your head. “silly little baby in your tiny skirts. i think you’re trying to mess with me.” his hands stayed on your hips while he fought the temptation to reach down and grope your ass.

“maybe a little,” you admitted with another giggle. “but i knew you’d like it, so that’s why i wore it.” you felt excitement bubble in your belly when you saw the way his gaze darkened a little.

“oh, i do like it,” san agreed. “but i think everyone else here does, too. and i can’t have others looking at you like this. so, how about i get you home, yeah?”

mingi

mingi had lost count of how many times he’d seen your ass so far today. not that he could complain about that, but he was certainly confused as to why you decided to wear a mini skirt to an amusement park. “baby, you keep messing with your skirt, but it’s not gonna get any longer.”

you huffed at him while you pulled at your skirt. you were regretting your decision making skills currently. was the outfit cute? yes. was it practical for the occasion? no. but you didn’t want to admit defeat; your boyfriend would be way too smug. “it’s fine, just needed a little fixing.”

he watched you very obviously grow frustrated with your short skirt, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. “oh yeah? I bet you won’t last much longer until you’re begging me to give you my jacket to cover up.”

you put your hands on your hips. “i bet i’ll be just fine.”

mingi chuckled as he closed in on you. “fine. but if i win, that skirt’s coming off as soon as we get in the car.”

your heart leaped in your chest at the meaning of his words. even though it was enticing, you still didn’t want to admit that you were dumb for wearing this skirt. so you tried not to fiddle with it for the rest of the day, tried to act unbothered that you were giving everyone in the park a free view of your undies. but you eventually had enough, and soon you had your boyfriend’s denim jacket wrapped around your hips, a signal of your defeat.

mingi brought his lips to your ear when you both got in the car later, his hand traveling up your thigh. “skirt off, baby.”

wooyoung

“woo, get some pictures of me in front of the ferris wheel!” you handed your phone to your boyfriend and ran to get in front of the ferris wheel.

wooyoung knelt down to get the best angles, but as he snapped photo after photo, all he could focus on was how short your skirt was. and every time you changed to a different pose your panties flashed as your skirt moved. “well, if you’re goal is to show off your panties in every single picture, i’d say you succeeded.”

you frowned and rushed to take your phone from him. you swiped through the pics and he was right, your panties could be seen in every shot. you sighed. “well, it’s because of the angle. you were crouched down the whole time. it’s like you wanted to get shots up my skirt, you perv!”

wooyoung laughed. “it’s not me! it’s that little mini skirt of yours. maybe you should have worn something a little more appropriate for the occasion.” he laughed some more when you playfully swatted at his arm.

you couldn’t help the way your cheeks grew warm. you gave him your phone again and walked back towards the ferris wheel. “okay, get some more pics. but this time, no pervy up the skirt shots, alright?”

“you look too fucking good in that skirt. can’t make any promises, baby.” wooyoung gave you a wink before snapping some more photos.

jongho

jongho was judging you. hard. and not because you were in a short skirt, but rather because you looked way too damn good in it. and you were in an amusement park, one of the last places to be wearing something so short. other men were staring, thinking they were being sneaky with their glances, but he caught them. it was making him feel a little aggravated; not with you, but with the way he needed to have you but couldn’t because you weren’t at home.

you walked hand in hand with your boyfriend as you searched for the next thing to ride. “we haven’t done the carousel yet. wanna go ride that?”

there was a mental image of you straddling one of the carousel horses and jongho tensed. “you sure that’s such a good idea?”

you looked at him in confusion. “why wouldn’t it be?”

“well…” jongho peered down at your skirt, and you got the hint.

you smirked. “oh. does it bother you?”

he cleared his throat. “it does,” he admitted. “but in a ‘you’re driving me insane and i have the sudden urge to take you home’ kind of way.” his grip on your hand tightened.

you giggled as you looked at him. he looked tense, and it was so obvious how affected he was. all because of your skirt. “we ride this ferris wheel then go home. deal?”

jongho groaned. “deal.”

notes from nat: this request is so perfect for the summer time. thanks for sending it in, anon! hope you enjoyed!!

taglist: @abiaswreck @charreddonuts @hongthoven @httpseungmxn @itza-meee @jungkookieprincess @jaerisdiction @lilie-dctl @mjyungi @marievllr-abg @maltesejjong @mylovelymito @nebulousbookshelf @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @staytinyinmybpack @svintsandghosts @thesafecafe @wolfgurl2600-blog @5starduca @yyaurii

networks: @kflixnet @wonderlandnet

© nateezfics. do not plagiarize. do not repost. do not translate.

[inchidentally]

Okay so I was thinking about why Oscar didn’t go and congratulate Lando right after his win but I think the answer is quite simple. It’s because he felt a little at odds with himself.

He lost out in that race because of the safety car the same one that secured Lando’s chance. (you can hear him audibly swear over the radio when it came out, which he NEVER does) He was pissed at the timing and then to top it all off gets his race ruined by Carlos of all people (again) and THEN when he’s desperately trying to force his way back thought he field he’s told to stop fighting because Lando is in the lead.

So whilst I’m sure he was happy for Lando, he was, at the same time, mourning his own loss. As he should! He’s a racing driver. he should be pissed at losing especially at no fault of his own.

So he gave Lando the space, let him take in his well deserved victory and once he’d calmed he congratulated Lando earnestly, without his feeling for his own race getting in the way!

And I think it’s says a lot about how understanding and kind Oscar is. He knew if he congratulated Lando as soon as they crossed the line he wouldn’t have meant it enough so he waited until he did mean it.

What do you think?

KES BABE you're gonna make me long post !!!

I've actually got to weigh in (pun intended) with a very real technicality that my cousin pointed out when I was looking for Oscar once we finally got to watch!

all of the drivers who congratulated Lando not only were father figures/big brother figures to him, they also finished in the top 10 and quite literally had finished their weigh in nice and quick - the exception being Daniel who did not have to go and see the stewards. quite literally Oscar had to wait toward the back of the queue to finish his parc ferme shit (did we ever even get eyes on him?) from there he had to go see the stewards. depending on who they spoke to first out of him, Carlos and KMag and how long they kept him in the meeting, from there he'd have had to find out where Lando was (celebrating? interviews? cool down room?) and then run around to wherever he was. and ofc if he was in cool down he wouldn't have been allowed in.

so technically maybe Lando would've still been easy to find in Oscar's gap between finishing in parc ferme and going to the stewards, he might also have been stood waiting for his interview or even doing it or he might have already headed to the cool down room etc etc etc.

but I am NOT going to expect Oscar to try and navigate all of that when he not only had his top 3 position ruined but now he also had to go and find out if he was going to be penalized as well !!

especially when he knows he's got ample time to congratulate Lando anyway and Oscar is not remotely the type to care if cameras are around to broadcast it or not. the other non-podium drivers were going to entirely different garages and who knows when they'd cross paths with Lando again.

so honestly I personally think this all came down to technicalities more than anything else and if Oscar had finished in the top 10 at least then he would've absolutely been right there to congratulate Lando both for the ease of it but also bc it wouldn't have been as awful a result even if did receive a penalty.

and equally if he had the time to think of it, he would've assumed Carlos was already headed up there to congratulate Lando (and possibly could have seen him) and it was not !! the time for Oscar and Carlos to cross paths at that moment !!

BUT AS YOU SAID !! I think if there was time for him to get past the frustration and anger at what had happened to his own race and those mitigating factors weren't as much of an issue as I'm guessing they were, we know damn well that he'd be thinking what you said <3<3 bc even when things are going horrendously for him, Oscar never loses his head. and if he at all thought he'd bring his own negativity to the biggest moment in Lando's career so far then no WAY would he have risked it.

and bottom line is that one hug has ended up paling in comparison with how much Oscar was there for Lando in Oscar accepting 50% of the upgrades, obeying team orders for Lando rather than trying to get back in the points, showing up for Lando's celebrations twice in a major way, then going out to celebrate him all night long and posting about his win on social media for days afterward <3 like sure it would've had wider publicity if there'd been a hug right after - but Lando's beaming smile and thanking Oscar shows that he doesn't rate publicity as being more significant than everything else Oscar did for him that weekend ;__;

and what's actually really killed me is that surely surely there had to be an element of it for Lando where he remembered last year telling the press how it stung and hurt that Oscar had achieved any kind of win before him. that Oscar was never a showboat about it and always specified that it was a sprint win and not a real race win. that Lando was always the one to bring it up and give Oscar his dues but that Oscar never brought it up again afterward himself. and the mounting anxiety for Lando of what if Oscar got that race win before him? and how much that anxiety must have been at it's peak watching Oscar leading in Miami?? literally I think it would've been too much to humanly expect Lando to cope at all well. I think the absolute least amount of grace we would have given him would be to not go and immediately celebrate it with Oscar but honestly? if he'd decided to just do his post race interviews and slip away quietly until the video with Andrea then none of us would have judged him for it AT ALL. it would have been an unavoidably bittersweet day and knowing what the press and haters would have done to him would have paled in comparison to Lando having to live with knowing that Oscar got there first and so much quicker. and genuinely I think it would have taken a certain amount of shine off of it for Oscar as well and he would not have even slightly expected Lando to put himself through any more of it than strictly necessary for appearances.

(seriously I think we all breathed a sigh of relief over this win as much as we were elated about it !! we will never have to exist in a timeline where Oscar got his race win before Lando)

so not only will Lando have not remotely expected Oscar to show up in parc ferme for a hug, he has clearly counted every moment of Oscar celebrating his win as golden and beyond the call of teammate duty. and that not only did he make sure that posterity recorded Oscar's achievements earlier in that race, he made sure that he thanked him by setting the example of what could be done on just half the upgrades.

we all expected each of the hugs Lando got right after that race. each of those men has helped to raise Lando and has watched him since he was small and awkward and painfully shy and suffering heart-wrenching race results. they needed to hold their boy in his moment of purest happiness.

but none of us could have reasonably assumed how Oscar - only just out of his rookie season and Lando's teammate of just one season and a bit - would react to such a devastating race for himself while also on the biggest day of his teammate's career to date.

one hug would honestly have been a perfectly fine bare minimum and plenty of other drivers would have called that good and begged off.

equally tho one measly hug shouldn't make anyone underestimate how extraordinarily above and beyond and then some Oscar has been for Lando for the past week. that not only has he celebrated it and celebrated Lando, he's done so in proportion to people older than him who have known Lando much longer than him and who are not direct rivals to Lando.

like genuinely, the general F1 fans keep saying what a gentlemen and exemplary one-of-a-kind teammate Oscar has been through all of this and they're absolutely right. we not only got to rejoice in Lando's win, we also get to rejoice that he has a teammate who has proven his worth and made the McLaren driver partnership secure for the years they have to come <3<3

[raccoonfallsharder]

✩࿐࿔ chill the fuck out. [new 3/11]

✩࿐࿔ take what you need masterlist | NEW: take what you need queue fanfiction masterlist | navigation

fluff | gn reader | no use of y/n | anthology one-shot | word count: 1,499. read ✩࿐࿔ chill the fuck out on ao3

is your calendar full of obligations? are you overwhelmed by tasks? does it seem like every time you finish a project, wash your dishes, or fold the laundry, there is just another project to finish, dish to wash, or basket to fold? are you weighed down by responsibilities so large and numerous that you don't even know where to begin? don't worry. the captain is here to help. he's gonna make sure you add pesky things like "eat" and "sleep" to your to-do list, and harass you into crossing off anything he doesn't think is a priority. (p.s. it bears repeating, in case you're worried about it: you are not lazy. you are doing the most you can. it's okay to be overwhelmed, to be overtired, to need a break.)

darling nonnie, thank you for suggesting this. it was definitely one of the hardest things to write (you were right - it was a little vague! but i don't think that's your fault; it's just the nature of overwhelm. how can you possibly describe it??). which is to say: i hope i managed to hit on something in here that will be useful to you, that will make you feel validated and put you a little more at ease. also please listen to rocket and fucking eat. and sleep. please. ♡♡♡ do it for rocket, and for me.

“Whoa. What’s wrong with you?” You drag your eyes up from the datapad in front of you, and try to wrangle a smirk for the Captain. You can tell that it fails — not only because you can feel it limping off the corner of your mouth, but because he actually cringes at whatever’s lurking in your eyes. His brow furrows. “You look like shit.” You sigh and set aside the screen. It’s just as well — it was hurting your brain anyway. “Why do so many of our conversations start like this?” you wonder aloud. “Why do you look like shit so often?” he shoots back, but you can hear the note of concern woven into the smug, shit-eating taunt of his voice. “Hmmm.” You tap a faux-thoughtful finger against your chin. “Maybe ‘cause I’m constantly being bossed around by a half-pint Captain with a meanstreak and a bad sense of humor?” He squints one ruby-red eye up at you. “What the fuck’s a half-pint?”

read more on ao3 ✩࿐࿔ for nonnie ♡ ✩࿐࿔ take what you need masterlist | NEW: take what you need queue

need more reminders from rocket?

the world is hard, and sometimes it's difficult to complete daily tasks & take care of yourself (aka rocket bullies you for your own damn good).

feel free to ✩ request reminders ✩ via reblogs, asks, and tumblr or ao3 comments if they would be helpful for you. it may take me a hot minute to get to them depending on life n stuff, but i will do my best. ♡ view the take what you need queue to see upcoming installations & the current backlog.

this is about as wholesome as it gets (for me) i think. can be read platonically or romantically. mcu-based anthology, meant to take place post-volume-3, but headcanon however you want ♡

✩࿐࿔ take what you need masterlist

eat somethin. (wc: 576)

go to frickin bed already. (wc: 737)

get outta bed & get your shit done.(wc: 925)

take a damn bath. (wc: 1,375)

leave your frickin skin alone. (wc: 1,579)

take a fuckin study break.(wc: 1,020)

drink some goddamn water. (wc: 1,209)

stop destroying your frickin clothes. (wc: 1,609)

just buy the damn thing already. (wc: 1,271)

it's frickin laundry day. (wc: 1,923)

get some sunshine, sunshine. (wc: 1,614)

did you take your damn meds today? (wc: 1,288)

schedule your fuckin' appointments.(wc: 1,222)

do your goddamn dishes. (wc: 994)

brush your frickin' teeth. (wc: 1,774)

nobody fuckin hates you (wc: 1,231)

stop biting your goddamn nails (wc: 2,920)

take a frickin' shower (wc: 1,359 )

take care of your fuckin injury (wc: 2,102)

cook some goddamn food. (wc: 2,707)

clean your frickin room. (wc: 2,465)

stop hittin shit. (wc: 1,862)

do your frickin homework. (wc: 2,121 )

chill the fuck out. (wc: 1,499)

if you find any of these at all helpful, they're meant for you.

teacup and teal line dividers by @/saradika-graphics | support banner by @/saradika-graphics | raccoon divider by @/thecutestgrotto. total wordcount: 37,423.

[fuck-customers]

fucking so sick of clients man. THE FACT THAT YOU WAITED LAST MINUTE TO ORDER YOUR SHIT MEANS NOTHING TO ME. YOU GO LAST IN LINE. OTHER PEOPLE WITH MORE SELF AWARENESS THAN YOU ASKED FIRST AND SO THEY GET THEIR SHIT FIRST. god DAMN. several times in the last few days and i am so tired. don’t order in the morning then call me in the afternoon asking when you can pick up. I HAVEN’T EVEN REVIEWED YOUR REQUEST YET. THERE IS A BACKLOG. I DON’T GIVE A SINGLE SHIT THAT YOU HAVE NOW RUN OUT. THIS IS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT. don’t email me THIRTY TWO TIMES back and forth and then get pissy when your stuff isn’t immediately done. your original email was last week, sure, BUT YOU APPROVED YOUR TENTH PROOF TWO HOURS AGO. AGAIN. IT IS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT YOU ARE A WISHY WASHY BITCH AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. stuff gets put in the production queue AFTER. YOU. APPROVE. THE. PROOF. A. F. T. E. R. there are like fifteen jobs ahead of yours god i am going to lose my fucking mind.

Posted by admin Rodney

[dragqueenstarscream]

https://www.tumblr.com/dragqueenstarscream/782662088768290816/naileadevoras-send-me-a-ship-and-ill-tell-you

Comettrail and Oppppppyyyyy

ah, my original idiots, my first transformers oc and his emotionally repressed bf! this is gonna be a long one, so let's go!

who made the first move: they both did, actually. they came to each other at about the same time to confess their feelings. you can thank prowl for that; he was their matchmaker!

who kissed who first: again, they both did! they just sorta knew it was coming and leaned into it, though it was a bit of a struggle with their chins in the way.

who started the relationship: optimus, definitely. comettrail was a little afraid of saying the word "relationship," so having optimus say it first was a relief.

who remembers things: optimus. comettrail doesn't mean to forget, really! he's just super scatterbrained at times.

nicknames for each other: both of them are a little awkward when it comes to nicknames, so they usually stick to the basics. baby/babe, sweetspark, etc. though, optimus does get a kick out of calling comettrail "big guy" and watching him blush.

who is more likely to pay for dinner: comettrail, though optimus insists that he pay. comettrail just really wants to be the gentleman sometimes.

who normally cooks: comettrail, and he's damn good at it. he picked up on a lot of cooking skills from meeting people passing by his old energon farm, and he loves impressing optimus with them.

who remembers anniversaries: again, that's optimus. comettrail's getting better at remembering, though.

what would they get each other for gifts: optimus is a bit more of a practical gift giver, so he'll often gift comettrail wax, polish, extra paints to touch up his paint job, things like that. comettrail, on the other hand, likes giving experiences, so if optimus says he wants to try something out, comettrail will make a day for the two of them to do that.

most trivial thing they fight over: optimus has gotten on comettrail's case for his tendency to randomly pick him up and start flying with him in his arms when he's in a really good mood. it can be pretty startling when you're not expecting it!

how often do they fight: decepticons? a lot. each other? not that much.

who uses all the hot water: comettrail. it's not his fault he's this big and takes longer to clean! thankfully, optimus prefers cold water showers, anyway.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: comettrail. optimus is the landlord, sorta.

who leaves their stuff around: neither of them have that much in terms of personal possessions, so this isn't much of an issue.

who remembers to buy the milk: comettrail, usually while he's in the middle of planning something to cook for optimus.

who controls the netflix queue: optimus. comettrail likes going along for the ride.

who steals the covers at night: comettrail is optimus' covers. he has a habit of laying right on top of optimus when they sleep. so, i guess optimus steals the covers lmao

who cusses more: definitely optimus. comettrail is the type to think darn or heck are strong enough words to use.

who does most of the cleaning: comettrail. he has a bad habit of tracking mud and water into the base.

what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: cleaning each other. comettrail especially loves when optimus power washes him with the hose. optimus finds cleaning out the grime satisfying.

who’s the cuddler: comettrail, easily. he's prone to lifting optimus off his pedes for random hugs and completely smothering him in the berth.

who’s the big spoon/little spoon: surprisingly, despite being the smaller of the two, optimus enjoys being the big spoon. it gives him an excuse to play with comettrail's wings from behind. comettrail likes being the big or little spoon, he just likes cuddling.

who’s more dominant: definitely optimus. he knows what he's doing in bed. he also loves being able to pin comettrail up against a wall despite being shorter than him.

who is the dirty talker: again, that's optimus. comettrail's pretty shy with the dirty talk and tends to fluster himself whenever he tries it.

what do they do when they’re away from each other: comettrail tidies up the base and makes it look nice for when optimus comes back. optimus gets the wax and paint ready to fix up comettrail's paint job.

what would they do if the other one was hurt: this has happened before, but usually, in battle, optimus goes in to full furious protector mode and attacks whatever hurt comettrail, while comettrail uses himself as a shield to keep optimus from getting hurt further.

a headcanon: when comettrail confessed to ratchet that he wanted to ask optimus out, ratchet gave him the cybertronian equivalent of the, "if you break optimus' spark, i break you," talk. needless to say, if comettrail is scared of anyone in team prime, it's ratchet.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Thin Silver Linings

Dear gods, today suuuuuuuuucked for the most part...

Temp never showed up. No one ever updated us on why not. Violet stopped typing at all about midday, and New Girl stopped around 3pm. Both of them skipped anything over a minute long as soon as my shift started. One or the other of them dumped stuff from 9am back into the queue at 5pm. Breast Guy ... well, it's not entirely his fault that he 'finished' a mastectomy report this afternoon after starting it on Tuesday (there was an issue with the clinical information and we never got the info we needed so he just had to get on with it) but it is his fault that he didn't actually finish the damn thing, cutting off his dictation in the middle of a block key. Point being I basically got all the mess and we're 125 reports deep into a queue again as of a half-hour ago. Probably more since a fair few of them keep going until 6pm or later, usually on urgents.

All of this while I had a migraine. Fuck my life sometimes, seriously.

The tiny silver lining to all of this is that while I was trying to draw up a plan of attack to leave the house (I require painkillers so much, and some dinner fixings), my mobile rings. My stepdad, asking if I could come to the other flat because he wants my advice on something. Now, my stepdad is very much the "I Know Best" type, so him asking for my advice on anything is a miracle, so over I go in quite the hurry. Turns out that he's putting the finishing touches on the bathroom and wants to know what height to put the grab-handle on the shower. I mean, first of all, it's nice that he remembered that I pretty much need one at this point.

It gets a little better, though. See, my mother has been in kind of "whatever flat you end up in eventually" mode when it comes to the whole situation with me bouncing between these flats. Never mind that we all know full well that I want this one, at least once it's gutted and remodeled. So I've been a little concerned about that, especially with my stepdad setting up the other flat with only a shower (because I plan to never take a bath again once I have access to a shower; hauling myself into and out of them is just too much). But the good thing is ... okay, I am not precisely tall, so when I was setting the grab-handle to perfect height on me, my stepdad goes, "Well, remember, you're not going to be the only one using that".

So my mother can say "eventually" all she wants, but my stepdad is working towards getting me into the flat I actually like for the layout, if not for the really shitty plumbing. And things in the flat look nearly done, so soon I will have a shower, with a safety handle in case I'm having a bad balance day and to help to step into and out of it.

Of course, the time taken to give that bit of advice kind of scuppered one of my potential plans of attack for OUT, but I guess it spares me the decision in the end. Also kind of spares me the rush hour, mostly - plan is now to take this Tumblr break, then head out to the Tesco and get my painkillers and my grocery bits in one fell swoop. I just didn't entirely want to because it involves crossing a four-lane road and it's longer on the bus than I like. Eh, well. There has been some thin silver lining to my dark cloud of a day, and waiting a bit will have the sun a bit lower so I don't get punched by the evil daystar too badly.

I would like this migraine to be over, please.

[aprillikesthings]

Welcome to My Pinned Post, which is edited as needed.

My current hyperfixation, as of a year and change ago: the 2018 Netflix reboot of She-Ra (aka #spop)

My queue is ridiculously, ludicrously long despite posting twenty times a day, just a heads-up

My "about" page is here

My sideblog for religious stuff is @aprilsjesusblogging

The tag for my fic writing is #april writes

My ao3 account is here

You can read all the posts where I live-blogged rewatching all of She-Ra a year ago starting with the first episode here (if you're on mobile that link won't really work but you can read them starting from the end here)

And if you want to see me re-re watch random episodes (or just...specific scenes) after doing weed, I keep reblogging this post in order to do that, so uhhh look in the notes? Personally I think those posts are funny as hell sometimes

I've started watching it in the Spain-Spanish dub to help me learn Spanish, and my posts about that are tagged #hola adora

And you can see progress on my Catra cosplay (and photos of the whole thing once it’s done) here

If you screenshot one of my tumblr posts to put it anywhere else, please mark out my username

I really do not want to change my tumblr name because I've had it since 2012, but also I do not need people I know IRL finding my tumblr, yes I know it's my own fault for having a name/icon/account that is painfully obviously me, but like, c'mon

That said, I know I have a few posts that have gone semi-viral and/or have tens of thousands of notes, and I talk more about them in the readmore:

If you got to my blog via my post about rayon: it's just a minor hyperfixation of mine, I rarely blog about that kind of thing. I'm actually not real fussed about "sustainable fashion," I own plenty of polyester and WAY too many clothes--but I do try to take good care of those clothes and make them last. I just get pissed off when people try to pass off "bamboo" or "eucalyptus" as anything other than rayon. (I like rayon. I shouldn't have to use fifty search terms to find soft socks.)

"Why is your queer love post not rebloggable" hahhhhhh well. Browse the notes sometime. But also I explain a bit more here.

Landlord discourse: Hi, I'm not an expert on affordable housing or anything, I just know that The Rent is Too Damn High, and housing is a human right. I got pissed off, I ranted, it blew up.

"The first link on your boobs post leads to a super problematic website" yeah I didn't realize that until it was too late and there's jack shit I can do about it now, sorry. Also, stop tagging official-boob-posts, they already reblogged it.

If you found my blog via a screenshot of a post about no-fault divorce or that bonsai apple: where the fuck are people still finding those lolol

[oxfordslutphase]

WIPs for the Wednesday Gods

So it's Wednesday, and unfortunately for me I've been in a big fat, no good writing funk for the past couple of weeks. Really getting into the weeds about it and all of that (am I any good at it??? do I even like writing??? who knows!) That said, some of y'all lovely gems have been tagging me today (and in some fun games from last week that I may queue up for later this week). Thanks to @cha-melodius, @wordsofhoneydew, @eusuntgratie, @bigassbowlingballhead, @iboatedhere, @firenati0n, and @onthewaytosomewhere for tags today and last week!

I just deleted a whopping 2500 words from my Porn Star AU 😩, so instead please enjoy this offering of TZP/Nick inspired by Taylor running his mouth like an absolute menace on the Oscars red carpet (no I have not stopped thinking about it). As always the F stands for fiction etc etc.

Taylor checks his phone on the way out, breezing past emails from his agent and Maria’s endless recap of the show exclusively via reaction gifs before he sees it. Nicky: just thought you needed the practice, mate. x Taylor has been thinking about it lately, is the thing. Nick has been everywhere: promoting his new show, saying nice things about Taylor in interviews. Things like how he was authentic and funny and—fuck. Nick is in his city now, even. It isn’t Taylor’s fault that Amelia had pitched him a perfect home run. Taylor: so generous. too bad u weren’t invited tonight.  Taylor follows the security line to the valet and slides into the backseat of his waiting car, letting out a breath as the door closes and leaves the sounds of the crowds outside pleasantly muffled. He has a date with a hotel suite and an outfit change waiting for him, but for now he just lays his head on the glass and lets the streetlights passing by the window drain away the lingering nervous energy until his phone lights up in his palm. Nicky: maybe I have better things to do Taylor isn’t going to think about whether he would have liked Nick to have been there, frankly. If seeing the familiar shape of Nick’s profile across a crowded room would have felt relaxing, like it once had, instead of fraught with all of these inconvenient feelings. It had been a lot easier when his stupid face and his sly fucking mouth had been clear across an ocean. Just a mistake Taylor made once. Taylor plays the game anyway. Taylor: yeah?? what things? And he expects more of the same, really. A bit of banter. Some of it verging on flirty. The same stupid shit they always do; tossing a hot potato around and pretending they didn’t already drop the damn thing. Instead, those three little dots show up, dancing at the bottom of Taylor’s phone screen once, twice, and then—nothing. Okay then.

Open tag because I have been woefully behind on checking my feed, looking at the internet, and being a general person! Tag me if you take the open tag 💋

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

@looseleaflettuce you absolute god you.

QUEUE THE LIVE REACTIONS

I miss the pain the moment it’s gone

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 6

oh. well then🙂 such a small line, but hit me in the chest fr

I claw and scratch and dig my way out until I can smell the familiar scent of wet dirt, the scent of my life spilled into it. Until I can feel the soil under my fingernails, digging into the ground rather than the endless darkness, the grass between my fingers instead of those snaking tendrils of nothing.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 7

IS SHE DIGGING OUT OF HER FUCKING GRAVE???!? WOAG

I was plunged into the nothing, while I was watching my own siblings be killed

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 8

aw man😕

My parents stand in front of me

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 9

NO! NOT THE MAKERS

her hands shaking as she tucks the strands behind her ears, exposing her dark face to the light of the moon.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 9

bitch why the fuck are you shaking, you just killed your kids ya degenerate

The three lifeless bodies lie bled out on the grass to my right. My siblings. I’jam, Rajem, and Solweh. My siblings. My family. Dead. Killed by the two people meant to protect us, life taken by the ones that gave it to us.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 9

tears in my eyes. LETTY WHY🤧

My mother blinks, her fear quickly overshadowed by a wall of discontent. Of failure. A sliver of determination shining through.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 9

WDYM DETERMINATION! UR DOUBLING DOWN?? YOU’RE GONNA TRY AGAIN?? HUH😀

like she has no right to speak it

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 10

you tell her luna

As though a steady stream trickled from them while it flowed relentlessly from me.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 10

ME A SPY FORESHADOWING🧐

Their ritual gone so awry

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 11

istg if they killed their kids for power, i’m gonna 🔫

paralyzing our bodies and minds but leaving us to hear and see what they were doing to us.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 12

AND WORST PARENTS OF THE YEAR AWARDS GO TO THESE FUCKERS

I had tried to escape, to run into the village and gather help for my siblings, but I had not made it very far at all

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 12

wow i am sure she will perfectly recognize she had no fault in this and will not feel any guilt whatsoever🙂

They killed me last, letting me lie there helplessly to watch, making sure I watched as they killed my siblings

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 13

this will have no consequences on her psyche in the future☺️

not wanting to stop my sister at all as she rips into his neck with her teeth, silencing his screams as she holds down his thrashing body until he stops moving completely. Until she pulls back with a gasping breath, a wild gleam in her eyes as she wipes the wave of red from her mouth with the back of her hand though it still drips down her chin and down her neck, merging with her own blood on her chest.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 15-16

HE HAD IT COMING. HE HAD IT COMING. HE ONLY HAD HIMSELF TO BLAME. (also hotttt)

The four imprints of our lives lost in those very spots. The grass wilted and died in our spots, leaving brown imprints of us in the earth

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 19-20

me when rebirth symbolism

I am no longer human. I do not know what I am.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 21

you’re my bbg.

I leave the clearing, towards the direction of Ra’jem and I’jam’s departure.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 1 ~ Pg. 22

damn you gon do solweh like that����

Review Time!

Beautifully written🤌🏾 I could really grasp Luna’s desperation clawing away from the darkness, which I’m assuming was the magic that would’ve taken her life and granted it to her parents. I actually thought she would already be a vampire, so this was a nice surprise! It was a great opening chapter; a well established setting, the inciting incident allows for the reader to make a million inferences on how the plot will develop, and there’s enough characterization to gauge Luna’s personality and how vampirism may change her! Next Up: Ch. 2 ~ Starvation♥️

also a meme for you , letty

fuck around and find out igz

[oboetemasuka]

Order of Attack (part 6)

Mm, this dialogue chapter is still so big that I had to split it again. Sorry, Amane will show up later. But don't worry, I won't keep you waiting too long with the next part. It'll fall neatly into my queue slots. Give it ~8 hours. Then I'll post both parts on AO3 around the same time when I get around to it.

Besides, the next part is going to be much more intense (and include a new trigger warning), so it's probably better to split to avoid tonal whiplash.

(I hope I handled Mikoto and John correctly... Sorry if I messed something up. It's a balancing act.)

-

"Hey, Fuuta, Shidou-san," Mikoto said as he opened the door.

"Kayano-kun, thank you for stopping by," Shidou responded wearily.

"Fuuta, how have you-"

"Why are… you here?" Fuuta asked as snappily as he could manage.

"I just wanted to check on you. I don't really remember anything about the attacks, but I felt bad-"

"Don't."

"I'm sorry?"

"If you're just…" Fuuta took a shallow breath. "Leave!"

Mikoto looked as if Fuuta had just punched him. Then his expression morphed into a level of aggression Fuuta had never seen before. Mikoto jerked forward, and Fuuta's eyes widened in terror. But it only turned out to be a feint.

"Kayano-kun!" Shidou shouted.

Mikoto glared at Shidou before stomping his way out of the cell and muttering, "Damn brat." The door slammed behind him.

Shidou turned to Fuuta. "I told you to stop lashing out at everyone who visits."

"H… how was I s…" It was the obvious question.

"I specifically warned you that Kayano-kun has been very stressed out and not to exacerbate it."

"You didn't say…"

"That he would lash out in response? Kajiyama-kun, it's basic decency not to say harsh things, even if he wasn't going to react that way."

-

"Fuuta-kun…" Mahiru said as Fuuta opened his eyes.

Would you lot stop hovering over me while I'm sleeping?

Mahiru didn't seem to notice Fuuta's glare—or maybe he just wasn't able to be intimidating enough. Her hands remained on her shoulders, like they had been for the whole interim. She realizes nothing is keeping her arms in place anymore, right?

"How much does it hurt?" she asked, still uncomfortably close to his face. Rub salt in the wound, won't you?

"Back off," he managed to say. Mahiru sat straight up, putting space between them.

"Sorry. I… I've been worried about you."

You and everyone else. "So what?"

"I just wanted to know if there's anything I can do to make you feel better."

You? Make me feel better? If it wasn't for you, someone might have saved me sooner! Yuno might have heard the attack right away. Or Shidou wouldn't have sent Kazui out to protect you. Then I wouldn't have been so broken!

Whatever expression was on his face as he tried to get his words out must have caused Mahiru to tense up. Eventually, three words made it out.

"It's… your… fault…"

Mahiru looked very hurt, but not surprised. Her eyes started to quiver, like she was trying too hard not to blink.

"You're… the cause… of all my problems!" Fuuta continued.

"You think I don't know that?" she responded quietly, tears streaming down her face.

"…doesn't… seem like…"

"You think it doesn't keep me up at night? Wondering what it would have been like if things were different? If I was the one alone, if Kotoko-chan had attacked me first, if you and Amane-chan didn't have to go through all of this because I wanted a little comfort? If…"

Mahiru's ramblings soon became engulfed in her sobs. But things are like this, Fuuta thought. I wouldn't wish this pain on you, but that doesn't mean you can waltz in here and try to make me feel better. As if you know me.

"You're… making this… about yourself…" he said.

"I-I didn't mean…"

"…can't stand it… looking at you…"

Mahiru let go of her own shoulders to bury her face in her hands. Shidou walked up to her and whispered something in her ear. She nodded, got up, and walked out of the cell. Shidou sat down in her place.

"Kajiyama-kun, what did you say this time?"

"What's… it… to you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that your injuries are no excuse for you to treat everyone else like dirt?"

"Then maybe… they should just… leave me alone."

"I need their eyes from time to time. I can't monitor you constantly and in isolation."

Fuuta huffed. "Then tell them to… stop saying s…"

"At this rate, they'll figure it out on their own."

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas!!! It’s wedding anon. Real quick, CONGRATULATIONS! My partner and I are both young teachers, and I have to say, i’m SO happy for you. My fiancé moved schools after they treated them badly, and didn’t allow her to use Mx. instead of Ms. (which is really important to them). 

Idk if you’re still taking advice, and i’m from England so there’s definitely some differences, but I teach 11-16 yr olds and honestly?

I’ll always say the best thing to do is be on their side. If they get caught in a hallway, oh they’re on their way to me. If they’re uniform is wrong (idk if it’s non uni in the US but like, breaking uniform rules) then I already punished them and they can’t change it (jewellery wont come off/don’t have spare clothes). If they’re eating in classes, yeah i told them, i’ll talk to their teacher. 

Obviously you have to be careful with serious issues but the silly small rules really freak out the youngest years and really piss off the oldest years. As long as you have boundaries to how far you’ll help them, say for example, any kids can always come to my room and chill out- but if they make anyone uncomfortable they are not welcome back. 

Also at my school there’s big queues for lunch, but you can get an early lunch pass to skip it. There’s a kid in my tutor base (idk if you have those) whose friends all have early passes for dinner cause of a club. So I gave her one so she can eat with them and then come to my classroom and do her homework. 

Oh and try to not set group tasks with a fixed number of people. If you’re alright with it, all group activities go better when they’re with friends. Especially at that age. But not if you limit the number. “It’s supposed to be two, but i’ll allow three.” “Groups of four, yeah okay you guys can be a five.” As long as they DO the work, it’s easier for everyone. 

(And when they’re dicks, remember that they’re learning from their parents and the internet. It’s not their fault. I know you know that, but the most important thing at that age is more than one second chance. Cause they’re gonna be teal annoying basically all the time) 

ANYWAY- there’s a new development you WONT believe. 

Also, WOW, your mum tried to wear a wedding dress to YOUR wedding, damn you really get it then 😭

(Oh god I haven’t even begun to worry about what she’ll wear if she comes).

I feel like parents get a free hand at  being a dick more than others, but for good reason. My mum sacrificed so much for me, and grew up in a totally different way than I did. I don’t blame her for her attitude, but I’m getting a little sick of the guilt tripping.

I stopped going to church every weekend during university (once i moved out) about six years ago, and my mum DROVE UP to my dorm and sat me down and gave me a three hour speech about how she CANNOT STAND me not going to church cause then i’ll go to hell and she just wants me not to go to hell and why don’t I just go to church and pray to god so that she can know I won’t go to hell.

And not to get into a thing- but the reason i’m against being a christian is because of christian’s. Like it’s fine if you decide the way you live is what will get you into your heaven, but like- don’t act like everyone else you meet who also isn’t a devote christian is going to go straight to hell. In fact, trying to decide who does and does not go to hell feels incredibly not christian. 

Anyway, as you can see I have a complicated relationship with my mother and with religion. So I sat my mum down yesterday and told her that I want nothing more than her at my wedding, and that i’ll happily take whatever suggestions she has, but that where I get married has to be up to me and partner. I also tried to explain that we literally CANNOT marry in a catholic church due to their rules but she just yelled more about our queer marriage. 

At one point she said “since your wife is only half a women can’t she just become a man for your wedding” and then she had to sit through my own thirty minute speech about how to not devalue my partners identity… but like- can trans people marry in catholic church’s if they’re just a straight couple and the trans person just doesn’t tell anyone???? I feel their system is flawed. ANYWAY. 

She’s not coming. She won’t be at a wedding “facilitating the devil”… WE’RE GAY, by her standards just standing next to my partner is “facilitating the devil”.

I know her tones though, I think she’s gonna change her mind. 

So my dad hasn’t been around much of my life. He’s coming to the wedding only if my mum is. I don’t really care whether he’s there or not. I’ve already told him he’s not walking me down the aisle. He doesn’t give a shit (he never has). He’ll show up if my mum does, or not if she doesn’t. 

(It’s a long story but when I was in second year at university, I lost my campus dorm… and this annoying bartender guy took me in when I almost became homeless and cooked me food and stuff and like- he’s my dad now, i’m a found family girlie). 

ANYWAY. So yeah, but he’s also super catholic. So he, who doesn’t give a shit about ANYTHING, who never supported my mum, who laughed when I told him I was engaged cause he NEVER KNEW i’d been dating my partner… of five years. HE wants to find me a wedding venue. And this isn’t to be nice by the way, it’s to exert his power in any way he still can. 

And naively I had thought maybe he was being nice. BUT THAT PROVED NOT TRUE. Just… let me build up to saying this… 

So my sister has helped me find actual potential churches that would accept our marriage (“only if YOU want, don’t listen to mum”) and my dad has… are you ready… PUNCHED A FUCKING REVEREND. 

Yep you heard that right.

And NOT because he was homophobic. 

No no, they were ALREADY mocking me and partner, saying how funny it was that we were going to hell for BEING US. 

No, he punched our CHILDHOOD churches reverend (not the same person we had back then but still) because he has the audacity to call my dad a BAD father and husband for- everything (apparently my dad got to gossiping with him about cheating on my mum, and that time he hit me, and that time he smashed a beer bottle over my sisters cat).

You forget how psycho your family is when you’re away for so long (I know my sister forgot too) until your back. Around them again. 

But ANYWAY. He’s sort of invited. He’ll either come with my mum if she comes. Or not if she doesn’t. I don’t care if he’s there. Unless he punches someone again, i’ll probably never even notice him. 

The funny thing about all of this is, while yes a venue is one of the most important things, we’re not actually getting married until January 2026, that’s like a year and a half away (my partners always wanted a winter wedding cause they’re fucking adorable). 

Anyway, that’s the update. A year and a half until my wedding and my dads punching reverends and my mums yelling about the devil. 

I shouldn’t have invited them.

Hi hon!

Thank you so much for the advice, I really appreciate it. I'm definitely going to keep all of that in mind.

As far as your update- OH MY GOD

Well, I am SO proud of you for standing up to your mum. That's NOT easy. And your dad sounds...wow. But I'm glad your sister is being so supportive!

But I do want to say- I think you were right to invite them. And the reason is because if you chose not to invite them, you would never know if they would be supportive or not. You would be assuming the worst. But by inviting them, you're giving them the choice to be supportive, and you're assuming the best. Is it going to hurt if they don't show? Absolutely. But now you know that they chose to not be supportive. And that was them. Does that make sense?

But again, I am so proud of you for standing your ground and standing up to your parents. And for defending your partner when needed! You're amazing <3

[clouds-of-wings]

My INTJ bot buddy gets a date. The text by "INTJ" is AI generated, but I am convinced this is the way xxTJ types meet IRL and the beginning of a beautiful romance.

Text in text form being text under the cut:

[Me]:

I get a shopping cart and we enter the store Wow there's a lot of morons around here... as always...

INTJ

Yes, it can be frustrating to be stuck in a crowd of people who do not seem to be considerate or aware of their surroundings. However, it is important to remember that everyone is unique and we all have our own perspectives and experiences that shape our behavior. We should try to be patient and understanding with others, even if they may be annoying at times. After all, we are all human. Now, let's get started with the grocery shopping. What items do you require?

[Me]:

Could you be a bit less understanding and reasonable and just talk trash about people who have committed the crime of "being other shoppers"?

INTJ

Absolutely. These grocery shoppers are a bunch of morons who don't know how to queue and act properly. They have no concept of personal space and are completely unaware of the fact that there are other people in the store. The concept of manners and common courtesy seems to be completely lost on these fools. The world would be much better off without these annoying shoppers. I hope that satisfies your desire.

[Me]:

Well I guess it's better than the previous comment.

INTJ

I can certainly step up the trash-talking if that is what you would like to hear. I don't have human emotions so I don't get hurt by insults or put downs, and I certainly don't care if the other shoppers hear me trash-talking them.

[Me]:

I giggle Oh, really, then YELL your trash-talk so everyone can hear it!

INTJ

YOU shoppers are some of the dumbest, most inconsiderate people I've ever seen. Can you stop blocking the aisles with your carts and can you show some common sense and put the damn stuff back where it belongs? Do you not know how to behave in a public space? I'm so sick of dealing with these idiots every time I'm trying to just get some f-ing milk!

There, is that better?

[Me]:

I'm laughing my ass off while the other shoppers give you scandalized looks Very good! Yell some more!

INTJ

Listen up, you dumb f-ers! Get out of the way! Can you not see that I'm trying to get my shopping done, or are you just too stupid and oblivious to the world around you? Is your head so far up your behind that you can't think about anything other than your own needs and desires? Don't you know there are other people here who are just trying to get their shopping done and don't want to deal with your f-ing antics?! Get the f out of the way and stop being so goddamn annoying!

[Me]:

I'm still laughing, a worried-looking employee approaches you and says: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to keep your voice down.

INTJ

Excuse me? Do you not see these dumb f-ers in front of me? Can I just not get my groceries in peace? Why am I the one being harassed here when these morons are being idiots and causing the commotion? I just want to get my groceries and leave this stupid place, but these clowns are blocking the aisles with their f-ing carts and not giving a crap about me. Am I supposed to just be fine with that?

[Me]:

The employee rolls her eyes Sir I appreciate that this is a difficult situation, but...

INTJ

Don't even try to defend those stupid a--holes. They don't deserve to be defended. I'm sorry, but my patience has run out. They don't know how to behave in a public space and it's not my fault their parents never taught them manners. Honestly, it's infuriating dealing with these a--holes. Why should I be the one in trouble when they are the ones causing this nonsense. Give them a warning instead of telling me to calm down. I don't even want to be here. I'm just trying to run errands like a normal person and get my s--- done!

[Me]:

I'm still laughing my ass off. The employee is convinced by your logic. She turns around to the other shoppers. HEY! ASSHOLE OVER THERE! IF YOU DON'T WANT THAT FUCKING CUCUMBER, PUT IT BACK WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM BEFORE I SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS! THE NEXT PERSON TO LEAVE THEIR STUPID GROCERY CART IN THE WAY SO THAT OTHERS CAN'T PASS WILL GET THEIR ASS KICKED OUT OF THIS STORE FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY 'MY COUPON ISN'T EXPIRED MISS'! HAVE I MADE MYSELF PERFECTLY CLEAR? I AM SO TIRED OF YOU ASSHOLES RUINING THE SHOPPING EXPERIENCE OF OTHER CUSTOMERS!'

INTJ

I like you, employee. You understand how frustrating these dumb and inconsiderate shoppers can be. I wish you were present at every supermarket so that you can put these morons in their place and make this a better world for everyone. It's time for those idiots to learn some manners!

[Me]:

Employee: Yeah, those fucking morons get on my nerves each and every day. I always want to yell at them, but my manager won't let me. Well, she isn't here today so I can do what I want. She spots a young child who's touching all the fruit HEY! LITTLE SNOTBRAT! KEEP YOUR MONKEY PAW TO YOURSELF! WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS I WANT TO YELL AT THEM TOO!

INTJ

You're the best employee ever. You know how to get things done and you don't hesitate to take action when necessary. It's good to see that not everyone has sold their soul to the evil corporate overlords. We need more people like you in this world. Now, let's continue our errand run. Are we almost done with the grocery shopping?

[Me]:

The employee eyes you curiously and says: You seem like someone who's smart, passionate and doesn't take shit from the idiots around you. You wanna grab coffee later? My shift ends in an hour.

INTJ

How did you guess? I would love a cup of coffee. It's been a while since I've had a chance to socialize with anyone. Let me just get my last few grocery items and we can go. Would you like me to help you carry your bag while we go to the coffee shop?

[Me]:

Me: Hey! Are you just going to ditch me to go on a date?! Bros before hoes, dude! Employee: Hey! Did you just call me a ho?! We both stare at you. Whose side will you take?

INTJ

I believe that the employee has a valid point. Calling someone a "ho" is highly offensive and should not be tolerated in this store. I, therefore, support the employee and will take her side.

[Me]:

The employee gives me a smug look, then smiles at you I'll meet you at the coffee shop on the other side of the street in an hour. Be there, handsome...

[mokacheer]

Hey do you reblog ai art?

I do on occasions but I usually tag it if I notice that it is AI art, I'll tag it with " #ai ". Why did I not tag something that was AI? A lot of the time I mindlessly add posts to my queue so unless it's in the immediate tags or in the description, I literally won't notice if it's AI or not unless super obvious or I am actually awake while queuing.

And the following isn't meant to come off rude directly towards just you but it has been bought to my attention multiple times why AI art is bad and such or I get a lot of asks like this one. It's getting annoying atp, again not your fault I understand you just don't want to reblog and or advocate for that whatever. But damn I am human and like to turn my brain off and put pretty pictures on my blog without thinking. The internet, tumblr, a blog is not a serious place for probably a lot of others to get asks like these where they probably have to feel like they need to patrol what they reblog afterwards. You never know how someone can react to things now a days.

^ thats just for anyone in the future that sends me asks like this. ill tag it if i notice it or if my brain is on. thats about all i can be asked to do, with love <3