#i know that this sorta thing is normal and it has to run its course and all i can do is offer my support

[et3rnal-dr3am3r]

the constant up and down cycle of this whole thing is exhausting

[darlingdaisyfarm]

Could you ever see Ford getting into a sorta DDLG relationship with Reader? Ford doesn’t need to be referred to as daddy or anything like that, it’s just more or less the nature of the relationship

thank u for asking!! seriously. made my brain work lol because ive thought about this too. honestly a lot. and i still don’t have a clear answer

part of the reason it’s so hard to figure out is because ddlg, when we’re talking about the actual dynamic, not just internet kinky stuff, is kinda complicated. it's deeply psychological, for me its about vulnerability and being taken care of in a very dependency-coded way. and with Ford, you can’t talk about dynamics like that without talking about trauma, guilt, repression, and the constant tension between his need for control and his belief that he’s fundamentally not safe to be close to

ill hide it under the cut because it's long

i believe Ford is extremely caring. intensely so. he’s protective over those he loves and absolutely has the capacity to caretake. i mean, he’s the kind of person who would research your triggers. who would actually read articles about your mental health condition and then print them out and annotate them. he’s the kind of person who would wake you up with a glass of water and your meds without making it a big deal. who would block off certain lab sections just because “i don’t want you around the chemicals, i’m not risking that” he’s cautious and self-sacrificing and..... yeah, really tender under the layers of anxiety. he’s not cold, i don’t see him so. maybe really bad with his feelings and explaining his emotions, but he’s not THAT distant emotionally, especially not when he really loves someone, especially OLDER Ford, post-weirdmageddon, when he's finally trying to be in the world, near his brother and family, instead of just run from it.

i think, Ford is not okay with being in that role CONSCIOUSLY. let me explain!! because deep down, he doesn’t trust himself with power after nearly destroying the whole world (not his fault, but he still blames himself for it). he has done damage with it to the people he loves so much. to Stan. to McGucket. to the entire world, as he thinks of course, because of weirdmaggedon.

BUT, and this is important, if we’re talking about a dynamic where it’s very much care-focused - yeah. Ford WOULD do things like make sure you ate. he’d pack your bag if you had a big day and he knows your executive dysfunction’s acting up. he’d gently push your forehead and go “bed. now. no, i don’t care that your doomscrolling is ‘important,’ come on.” he’d tuck you in and grumble about you using your phone a lot. and he’d never call himself “daddy” that's right, but he’d say things like ”come here, sweetheart. sit still for me”, ”i’ll take care of that.”, “you don’t have to think about it right now, i’ve got you.”, ”talk to me about it” and etc

and i 1000% believe there would be days where he needs to be the one taken care of. like where he goes into a shut-down state and doesn’t eat and you have to drag him out of his work chair. and if the dynamic is mutual and based on trust and respect rather than roles, i think Ford would exist in that kind of relationship absolutely normally. it just wouldn’t be ddlg in the way most people imagine. like sexualized or through roleplay that’s too close to the thing he fears he failed at most, being responsible for someone’s wellbeing

so yeah.... :') i’m still not sure. it's just Ford is that kind of character you want to trust, you want him to take care of you especially if you're into older men lol. and i think he wants that too, to take care of someone, he just doesn’t always think he deserves it because of his past

i hope that didn’t sound weird by the way. and yeah, not my final answer either. i love getting philosophical about this stuff. i still think about it a lot. AND IF YOU HAVE YOUR OWN THOUGHTS I’D GENUINELY LOVE TO READ THEM <3

[faerghusfucker]

hi friends, im gonna temporarily stop answering asks for the next two-ish weeks until i finish school for the year feel free to keep sending them, in fact i encourage you to keep sending them bc they make me really happy!! i just won’t be responding until things start to blow over. lil vent below the cut 😭 gonna get a lil personal but like it’s fiiiine. ive vented and deleted stuff on here before within like a few hours but i will probably leave this one up until i start answering asks again just bc i think it’ll be good for me to leave it out in the open for a little while and have an explanation for why it might look like im ignoring everybody 😭

so this has been a school year from hell. my previous school shutting down with a week’s notice (google uarts if you’re curious) and transferring from art school to a stem school is a super hard thing on its own, but i pride myself on being a pretty resilient person, and that combined with my love of my field (game design) and my love of learning and academia made me want to just keep moving and keep going and get this degree. and that was working for a while, or at least right now it feels like that was working. but i feel like im running out of steam now.

when i was in high school i was determined that i would never let gifted kid burnout catch up to me, that i would somehow be different and i would carry on being stupidly high achieving throughout university despite the fact that im paying for my degree on my own, im living away from home for the first time, and im taking a really rigorous course load. SURPRISE SURPRISE THATS WILDLY UNREALISTIC and im now burnt out to a degree that i have never been before :3 love it

i’ve also been having a lot of mental health troubles this year like. outside of the burnout 😭😭😭 it’s been a super isolating experience to move to a new part of my city and have to let go of my previous hopes and dreams of my college experience and have to accept this new one in its place. my previous school always felt too good to be true for me and now that i know that it was, it’s really really hard to plant any roots with anyone or anything and feel like it’s gonna last. if my fucking university closed then how can i trust anything to last??? i haven’t been able to join any clubs or make friends here because im like. what’s the point. it can literally all go away in an instant. i went from hanging out with my irls every single day to being lucky if i talk aloud to someone other than myself 💀 im more of a homebody/introvert but it gets to a point. the autism and bpd definitely do not help things on the social front or the general wellbeing front either lol, i feel like im either exhausted or actively crashing out every moment of the day, and the only times that im not either of those things are when im engaging with this blog or with my interests but that isnt very conducive to being a productive student now is it. theres also the fact that i lost a grandparent this year and ive had so many people and animals in my life dying in recent years that like. idk its starting to feel like this is just a plague im dealing with now. also my parents are likely divorcing soon and so thats bringing up a lot of flashbacks and unpleasant feelings. the divorce has been a long time coming but that doesnt make it any easier to just have it reiterated and reiterated that wow i really am from a broken home 😭 i was set up to fail in this life from the start lmao.

i also have been having physical health issues that i have a feeling are a result of stress and if they’re not then they’re very scary to me 😭😭😭 i’ve had a caffeine addiction since i was like 16 and im normally able to manage it with just one coffee per day but because of school and such ive been drinking more and more coffee to the point where im having more of it than i do water or food in a day and its kinda sorta really bad. and every time i try to decrease it i get horrible horrible headaches and no work gets done and then the cycle starts all over again. sometimes even if ive had like 2-3 coffees i still have a dull headache happening!!! i have one right now!!!! and if it’s not dull it’s a genuine splitting migraine that makes me feel like i’m having electricity pulse in my skull every time i open my eyes or move. i’ve had migraines recently that made me scared that i was having a stroke (im a mild hypochondriac but even despite that. crazy.) if it’s not headaches happening then it’s a bulimia relapse because caffeine fucks with my appetite and makes me nauseous if i have too much. i also get like. weird nervous system things. i’ve had a few seemingly random periods where ill just have chills for no reason, or my hands or legs will go numb, or im super brain foggy and my stutter is bad, and it scares the shit out of me!!! i had an anxiety attack like half an hour ago and then i couldn’t feel my hand!!! that shit scared me so bad that i started writing this post. also for the past few months my heart has not beat at a rate less than 90 bpm so i love that for me that’s so awesome im not gonna have a heart attack at all. as i type this i think my roommates are playing football in the hallway???? the ball just slammed rlly loud into my door and i sobbed lmao i’m so chill actually i’m the most chill person

if you read all this uhhhhh thank you i love you i send you hugs‼️ i might still post whatever art i end up making while i try to calm myself down and im still gonna be like. on here. just not as much in my askbox bc when i feel like i have an obligation to someone and im not meeting it it stresses me out. thanks for understandingggg im gonna try to stop shaking and then go back to work lol any good vibes/encouragement/whatever is appreciated i love you guys, i think this blog might have been like The Thing getting me through this year lol.

[tenaciouschronicler]

Its Not a Hack if its Not Forbidden:

CG Lore Revelations and Theories

CG: OK, THERE COMES A TIME WHEN BLACK INEVITABLY BEATS WHITE /ON THE BATTLEFIELD IN THE CENTER OF SKAIA /THE WHITE KING IS CAPTURED OR KILLED OR SOMETHING /THAT'S WHEN THE RECKONING STARTS /THE RULERS OF DERSE /THE BLACK KING AND QUEEN /GET THE POWER TO SEND THE VEIL TOWARD SKAIA /TO DESTROY IT /THAT KIND OF STARTS YOUR BIG "COUNTDOWN"

We already knew the first part so it just further confirms it but it makes the kids playing this game so much stranger. As far as we know, the only thing that would make the kids lose their King is PM going to said battlefield and asking for his abdication to get the package for John that Jade sent. The White Queen is the one who has decided this is the best course of action. Somehow, potentially kickstarting The Reckoning is seen as a better option and strategic enough to make a difference in the outcome of the game. It does mean that the kids however were not the true catalyst for the meteors arriving. They played a part but its likely just a completion of a timeloop especially as each kid had a different countdown. Theres supposed to be a big overarching countdown that occurs that we likely dont see. And actually now that I think about it in some way they have bent the game again. Somehow they have glitched past the countdown while still having started it.

EB: so then it's up to us to save it?

CG: YEAH, YOU HAVE THAT LONG TO KILL THE BLACK QUEEN AND KING /AND SKAIA ITSELF SORT OF BUYS YOU SOME TIME /BY ACTIVATING ITS DEFENSE PORTALS /TO CATCH SOME OF THE METEORS /THE THREAT GETS BIGGER THE LONGER YOU TAKE THOUGH /SMALLER METEORS COME FIRST AND THEY GET PROGRESSIVELY BIGGER AND BIGGER /AND THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH OF THEM SKAIA CAN ABSORB FOR YOU.

This part confirms something we only sorta questioned, where did the meteors come from? They are from The Reckoning and Carcino is actually not aware of where the meteors actually go. We have seen the Sburb spirograph over Earth releasing meteors and from Roses exploration of the lab, their existence follows the same pattern of starting small and getting larger. Im guessing in most cases players are deposited into the Medium but their planet is left unharmed. Its not until the Reckoning that Skaia 'absorbs' the meteors and destroys their home. This is part of the game that most are unaware of until it happens and then...? Who knows. The kids are already aware their planet is donezo and their mission is to, i dont know, recreate it? Something along those lines. Im curious what a normal session Sprite normally conveys when players enter the medium.

EB: ok, but it sounds like we've got plenty of time before that happens right?

CG: THAT'S JUST IT /YOU DON'T /ORDINARILY YOU WOULD BUT /YOUR RECKONING STARTS MUCH SOONER /BECAUSE OF SOME DUMB THINGS YOU'VE DONE /YOU COMPLETELY BLEW IT ALREADY AND YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF WINNING ANYMORE /WHICH ORDINARILY WOULD BE FINE /JUST ANOTHER BUNCH OF LOSERS TO FAIL AT THIS GAME /IT'S WHAT YOU DO LATER THAT CAUSES SO MUCH MORE TROUBLE THAN THAT

This part is crazy. Theres no way this game is over before it started. How are we already endgame when theyve just started playing? Yeah endgame, I refuse to believe this is a true end state when the Exiles are still running around. And what exactly does that mean for players who lose? Are they stuck there? What does Skaia do with them? Are the trolls stuck?? Did they lose their game?

Carcino is adamant that the kids 'FUCK UP ROYALLY, END OF STORY' but then whats the point in trolling them? Lets say this is not normal, being able to reach out to another game session. If each session is cut off from the other, how did the trolls learn of the kids? What happens in the future? Its clear that a majority of the trolls dislike the kids but theres no real reason to. Unless somehow the kids do something that glitches the game, as theyve shown they do alot accidently, and they 'hack' the trolls session causing something to go wrong and opening a tunnel for communication. It would be similar to the pumpkin that appeared when John fell asleep that kept him from awakening on Prospit. But that still begs the question of why troll? I guess you could do so in the moment to vent frustration, but why go through the trouble of timeline hopping? If the outcome is clear and inevitable and you cant change it what is the point? We are missing something about the trolls mission.

Theres also the idea that the kids session is broken. Something somewhere has gone wrong and now the kids are playing in a game prone to glitching (and I say glitching in that the kids seem to have a knack for solutions and problems that arent normal for the game).

[illarian-rambling]

3, 4, and 12 for Mashal and Astra

I answered three here, but yeah four and twelve!

How would they describe each other if asked? Physically? In personality?

Mashal describing Astra: "She's beautiful. Maybe not beautiful like a painting, but beautiful like a piece of street art that you know you'll never see the equal of again. She has long curly hair, the color of spilled ink. Her skin is a teakwood brown, with patches across her mouth and right eye the color of fresh snow. Likewise, one eyebrow and one lock of hair in the middle of her forehead are ivory white. Her eyes remind me of the color of a bluejay, probably because they're so bright and always moving. The right one is a bit paler and grayer than the left. Usually, she wears colorful makeup. She always has a smile or a scowl or a frown; she isn't coy with her feelings. Her stature is short and curvy. I could go on. As a person, she's loud about everything. She's loud about what she loves and hates, loud when she tinkers, loud when she tells stories to make me laugh. There's just so much spirit to her. Even if that, uh, gets us in trouble sometimes. No, I won't pretend she can't be a little much on occasion. But it's all done out of good intentions, and better too much than not enough, right? She's the greatest mage I know; not just for her skill, but for her compassion, her intensity.... Oh gods, I've been talking for too long, haven't I?"

Astra describing Mashal: "Well, it ain't exactly on the outside what matters, cause that ain't him, but I reckon an overview can't hurt none. He's damn tall. Taller than ya think, and broad too. A machine built for war. His platin' is bronze, and he usually keeps it at a pretty shine, only a little rust 'round the joints. Underneath, his chassis is steel, with runes and hydraulics beneath that. Now, he's had two faces in his time; the first that visionless bitch Vermir made, the second I got from a friend a' mine. Vermir's face was shoddy work - just two glass discs for eyes and a slit mouth. His new face is much perdier. It's got a nose and cheekbones and all the bell n' whistles. The eyelids, eyebrows, and corners a' the mouth even move! He usually wears some sorta head scarf on account a' I think he's embarrassed 'bout not havin' any hair. His clothes are pretty baggy too - metal joints snag somethin' fierce on tight fabric. He's always tryin' to hide all that shiny bronze, even though he takes such good care of it. Mashal hides lotsa things. Not exactly the sort you'd expect to do that, huh? He hides how much magic frightens 'im, how much being in this improper form hurts, hides how deep his hate runs. The one thing he never hides though, is how much he cares. If you mean somethin' to Mashal, he'll let ya know. He's an honest man and he trusts freely - maybe to freely. I mean, he trusts me and that one helluva gamble. Gods, he's a good man, though. The best. The best man I've ever known."

Do they have any affection for each other? How do they show it?

Mashal cared for Astra first as the person who saved his life and offered to help him fix it, then as the woman he fell secretly in love with. He has a deep affection towards her. Maybe some of that is just the fact that she was the only person who really talked to him when he woke up, but what love blooms separate from its particular circumstances, even if those are more normal ones? He shows his affection by listening to her stories, helping her with magic, and generally spending time with her. Very much a quality time guy.

Astra cared for Mashal at first due to nothing but basic human dignity. She found him on the side of the road half-dead; of course, she was going to help him. Later, as they spent time on the road and bonded over stories, he became her first real friend in the whole of her adult life. Astra was a very lonely person for a long time. Mashal broke her out of that, and she will forever love him for it, even if she hasn't realized the true direction of that love yet. Her shows of affection are very much gift-based. A new set of hand embroidered clothes, a movable face after she noticed he didn't like his old one, an awesome sword arm. Gifts are Astra's love language.

Thanks for the asks! These two are the only proper couple I've ever written, so I kinda gotta gush over them being cute <3

[nathaniels-diary]

If we were villains review

I think the book was so sure about their concept and relied so much on the dark academia aesthetic that the execution became sloppy.

The first two chapters were fine, all the foreshadowing, the introduction of the characters. It’s a really original concept and an intriguing start. And of course I have to say the structure is quite nice, the five act play is a clever and creative idea, but the characters feel flat. The antagonist doesn’t feel mean enough, just some guy who is full of himself, and then suddenly he is way too mean for what happened, it sounds so unnatural and forced. There is no nuance to the character. Nothing that makes you “love and hate him at the same time”, or whatever it is the author tried to achieve.

The rest is not better, while the concept with the archetypes is, again, such a cool idea, the actual characters are just so boring and bland. They are not complex morally corrupted people they are just…well some normal sorta dickish kids? They don’t have the theatrics, the Shakespearean extremism that they would need to convey a story like this one. I dont care about any of them, I don’t get their motivations or who they are, which is essential for a story so heavily relying on faceted characters. They feel like a mean dramatic middle school group that just kicked one off the discord server, they just seem so goofy. The way the group falls apart feels so insignificant cause I don’t know the group anyway.

The best written group member is arguably James, who has the most compelling story arc and character. With him being the one that injured Richard and running away and also him breaking Olivers nose he has done some immoral things. All the others aren’t even allowed to do that. Its like the author thought the ONE event, not helping Richard, painted everyone half-heartedly in an evil, indefensible, rotten light so the other 350pages have to convince me that they are good people that all love each other like a family and they are oh so perfect, maybe sad, paranoid people that made some mistakes but with an oh so good soul. That’s not what makes an intriguing character nor plot. I want to hate them more. Or love them more. Or at least be able to feel SOMETHING gripping before getting an excuse for their behaviour that wears everything down shoved in my throat.

Also for a book that is trying to tell you “You can justify anything if you do it poetically enough” the writing style is way to flat almost fanfiction for my taste.

But to say a nice thing too: the Shakespeare quotes are beautifully embedded and the author obviously put a lot of effort into the research. Also, I gotta hand it to the book I desperately needed to give my opinion after finishing it so somehow it moved me to further deal with the story, and that’s what literature is all about isn’t it. Especially the big reveal that James heavily injured Richard was so unsatisfyingly written. Just James telling us dully about the event was just anticlimactic.

In conclusion, I really tried to like this book, I really did, but that was not it.

(If you liked one of us is lying tho you will like it(okay sorry I have to stop throwing shade at this book))

Also sidenote: you shouldn’t compare it to the secret history just because they are both dark academia novels set in college involving a group were one of them dies. Their essence is SO different and they should be allowed to stand alone and not in presents of the other.

[enlighten3d]

WELLL claps hand together

the story is about these teenagers trying stop an evil cult from destroying the entire multiverse, so they go to different dimensions to stop their evil ways. Also they are teenagers so they have to deal with personal angst, family issues, morality, school ect ect while trying to stop the cult leader and their right hand men

Caroline is technically the main character of my story, she is basically the bubbly, positive one of the group. Her family is rich as hell, they used to live in Taiwan as successful business people but they moved to America because they wanted to make more money. Her family doesn’t really like her and they emotionally and physically neglect her since she came out as a transgender girl and her older sister is kind of a coward and doesn’t stand up for her (fun times)

anyway she ends up having to do a group assignment with her childhood friend which she kind of drifted apart from (Andie) and some punk girl she probably has a crush on (Mimi), they eventually end up in an abandoned house and find out that their town is run by an evil cult that can teleport to different dimensions. So they feel guilty enough to stop it.

they think the best course is to beat the 7 plane hoppers who are in the way to kill the main cult leader, the stag. though out the whole thing Caroline is basically pushing through by toxic positivity saying everything is alright even though they have killed many people, she also kind of convinced herself that this is a video game and is probably more okay about sacrificing people and herself (for the better good)

Also her sister possessed during her 17th birthday party for funsies

HIII SO RRYYY IM ONLY GETTING SROUNF TO THIS NOW falls over and dies

thank you for the food that is oc lore, i am eating it om nom nom

that all sounds FUCKING AMAZING ACTUALLY. cults ?? universal travel bullshit ????? all while dealing with normal teenage bs ?? thats beautiful. poor little guys. they need a break. i CANNOT imagine trying to exist as a teenager while trying to take down a cult qyehdjdkkdks

dont worry.. your eldritch horror loves you... i am so glad to know that ! /silly

..fuck her family ! they can rot ! caroline )): you dont deserve any of this..

THAT MUSTVE BEEN A REVELATION ?? WOAH ?? just. doing a school project and ope government is a cult (/hyp)... insane

i actually fucking love the whole like. unwilling chosen one Vibe to all of this ?? yes theyre not chosen nor are they truly unwilling but. the Vibe is the same. the guilt (on thier part) is real...

caroline. love. youre fucked up. just like me frfr. agh thats. so cool tho ?? 'EVERYTJING IS FINE, ALL OF THIS IS A GAME !!' and ljke. fuck thats such a fun thing in fiction when a character copes using that ?? its the perfect level of fucked up bcs it rlyyy drives rhe point home and. im giving them all a shock blanket okay ?

oh boy !! thats fun !! poor sister..

what does the cult worship‽‽ i am so fucking curious..

lso like, whats the difference between each plane? is it an alternate reality sorta situation where things are relatively the same but Different, or is it judt flatout. different EVERYTHING (people, laws of physics, all that jazz)?? or somewhere in between or outside of this ofc.

do all the plane hopper guys like.. stay in different universes and have a branch of the cult established there..

why does the cult run the town in the first place ? was it a thing where like. they wrre the original settlers but then the town expanded aorund and beyond the cult ?? or did they move in and do a slow takeover.....

fuck i have so many questions /pos

this is. so cool. i love the Vibes. theyre so... Impending.. ahdjskdisjjdjsks

[ridiasfangirlings]

Just saw the children ask and had an idea. Imagine Mikorei adopt a child and they usually have Mikoto look after the child while Munakata works. Say one day someone suggests they both go on a date because they don't get to spend much time together so Homra says they'll look after him (because S4 are working). For some reason Kusanagi has to leave and the rest have to look after the baby and they think about taking it to the park but end up losing it and there's a whole baby's day out thing where they try to catch the baby but it escapes life threatening situations while laughing. S4 finds them chasing a baby and helps out so that their date is not ruined and it turns into a city wide chase. Later when Mikorei return everyone acts normal but don't realise Munakata has access to Yuishiki system which he used to keep track of his child

Everybody Lives AU, just imagine both alphabet squads desperately trying to keep an eye on the Mikorei child who somehow has inherited the Luck of Kings from their dads and keeps magically getting out of dangerous situations (all while the alphabet boys get comically smashed by whatever the danger was). In practice I imagine Kusanagi is a pretty regular babysitter anyway, Munakata will leave the kid with Mikoto and Mikoto takes the kid to the bar so Kusanagi can watch them. This normally works well enough but then say one day Mikoto drops the kid off because Munakata’s been bugging him about going on a date together. He’s acting all annoyed about it but the Homra guys are aware that Mikoto’s actually sorta almost….missing Munakata because they don’t get to spend as much time together due to work. Kusanagi doesn’t mind watching the kid, say Totsuka’s taken Anna out for the day too so the bar is a little quieter.

Yata, Kamamoto and the Homra alphabet are hanging out with him watching the kid when Kusanagi gets a call, there’s some emergency at one of his other restaurants. Kusanagi has to go and imagine him looking at the Homra guys like can I trust you guys to watch the kid, Yata’s immediately trying to be helpful like we can definitely do this. Kusanagi is not entirely convinced but he has no choice so he leaves. Once he’s gone Yata tries to take charge, he has little siblings so he knows how to handle kids. The other Homra guys object, it’s not like they want to watch a brat or anything but this is their King’s kid so of course everyone wants to make a good impression. Yata insists that he’s the most responsible with a kid, everyone gives him a dubious look and even Kamamoto is like ‘um, Yata-san…’. Yata insists that he can handle this as Eric lightly tugs his sleeve, Yata’s like stop that it’s annoying. Eric shrugs and it’s not until like five minutes later when Yata’s like ‘so it’s decided I’m in charge’ that Eric decides to pipe up with “‘leader,’ the kid just walked out the door.”

Yata’s like wait what and they all hurry to the open door, where they can see the little kid just happily toddling down the street. Yata’s like shit come on, he thinks he’ll catch up easily on his skateboard but imagine the kid happens to be walking by where some workers are pouring concrete. The kid almost falls in and Yata swoops by to save them, but in the process his skateboard gets stuck in the wet concrete. Yata’s standing there wondering why he’s not moving as the Homra guys run past him to try and catch up to the kid, Yata yelling after them to wait for him.

Hijinks ensue as the kid just wanders through Shizume, constantly narrowly avoiding danger as well as the pursuing alphabet boys. Bandou ends up getting hit by two cars (he’s fine, just a scratch) while Dewa almost loses his hat to an angry hawk defending its nest from the curious child. Eventually they chase the kid to a park and that’s when a strict voice tells them this area is quarantined for dangerous Strains. The S4 alphabet are blocking it off and they don’t look kindly on Homra until Kamamoto explains that Mikoto and Munakata’s child wandered this way. Benzai is scoffing at Homra for losing at the child when Doumyouji in the distance yells ‘hey, wait, isn’t that the Captain’s kid?’, followed by a loud splash. They all come running to find Doumyouji sopping wet in the middle of a pond and the kid chasing ducks a few feet away.

Both clans decide to declare a temporary truce to try and catch the kid, who continues to elude them as everyone gets more and more disheveled. Eventually I imagine the kid gets caught by either Fushimi or Awashima, Awashima managing to stop the child’s playing with a strict order that would freeze even a small child or Fushimi who just has the kid run obediently right to him (it’s Mikoto and Munakata’s child after all, of course they would go straight to Fushimi). The Homra guys exhaustedly return to the bar with the kid, Yata has finally freed himself from concrete and is super relieved that they found the kid. Some time later Mikoto and Munakata return from their date to pick up the kid, Munakata goes right to the child noting they had quite a day. The Homra guys are in the middle of lying about how the kid never left the bar and they all stop and stare. Mikoto shrugs as Munakata says of course he has surveillance on the child at all times via S4’s systems, he didn’t step in though “as it seems everything was under control.”

[christine-ye]

Normally I don't share a lot of serious posts for characters I love (they're funny shitposts most of the time) but because the 2024 PreCure Twitter Hall of Fame started running yesterday (go vote here if you haven't), I have already campaigned myself for the title of #1 Cure Melody fan, which I already won during the first Hall of Fame back in October 2023 (and also campaigned for). And I have the certificate below to prove it lol

As part of my mini-campaign for the current Hall of Fame (which is just for fun and not an actual competition btw), I decided to write an essay about how much Cure Melody meant to me and wanted to share it here (copied and pasted straight from the Notes app on my phone). If you get the chance to read it (under the cut), I would really appreciate it. 💗

Why you should vote me for #1 Cure Melody fan, an essay (sorta)

During the summer of 2020, I started getting into PreCure when Healin' Good returned from its hiatus and was added to Crunchyroll. After watching a few more of their available seasons like Futari wa and Kira Kira, I decided to branch out and try out other (unfortunately not legally available yet) PreCure seasons, and I started both Star Twinkle and Suite on September 1, 2020. You might be wondering, "why mention an exact date for Suite specifically?" And boy, do I have a lot to tell you.

Suite was one of the seasons that caught my eye at that time, and Hibiki Hojo, otherwise known as Cure Melody, caught my attention for plenty of reasons. One of which being me previously knowing her VA, Ami Koshimizu, for voicing Sailor Jupiter (my favorite Inner Senshi) in Sailor Moon Crystal, given that I was (and still am) a huge Sailor Moon fan. Another reason was also me branching out to other magical girl media during the pandemic. I was already familiar with shows like Powerpuff Girls Z (my first magical girl show) and Madoka Magica up until 2020, and decided to try out PreCure for a bit despite my initial skepticism and refusal to try anything new.

On September 1, 2020, around the same time I was starting my last year of high school, I finally started watching Suite and while I knew Hibiki was going to be my favorite in the show I didn't expect myself to love her way more than I thought I would, not even knowing she would actually become one of my favorite characters of all time. She's a lot of fun every time she appears onscreen, her design rocks, and also did connect with me a lot on a personal level. As someone who has experienced separation anxiety as a kid (and still sometimes do now), I related with Hibiki's loneliness from when her mom was often busy on tour, much like how my parents would sometimes spend a lot of time away from home for work, from weeks to even months. To add to that, I even felt burdened by others' expectations of how and what I did as I got older, similar to how Hibiki felt pressured when she had to perform at the piano recital only to end up feeling hurt by her dad's words to the point where she (temporarily) gave up her passion for music. Through her character growth, I remembered two important things: people who love and support you will always be there for you no matter what and never give up on what you want to pursue despite the hurdles you encounter in life that try to put you down or even turn you against your passions.

I literally almost teared a bit having to write all this and if you made it to the end, thank you for reading :') And of course, vote me for #1 Cure Melody fan since she has meant a lot to me for almost 4 years now 💗

[starstrvckfool]

We haven't gotten any updates on Qiang and company's journey recently :0 , What's going on with you all!

Ok so it has been a while since I've updated you guys (reason being the DM and players have been very busy with personal activities for school and stuff)

BUT I will update you on what happened last few sessions :3

Part 1

So qiang ended up going to the apeling village and founded out that it was refurbished and turned into a full blown KINGDOM of course we look around and the ground finds out there's a fruit festival going back on

Time skip a bit later where important stuff happens, qiang confronts the imposter and finds its actually LiuYin! (Liuyin is a mimick half apeling! 🫶) Who you guessed it is the macaque of the group, LiuYin explains that after a big fire they didn't know what to do because the kingdom was really panicked so they took qiangs place expecting to only do it for a couple of days and then go back to normal life, but those days ended up turning to year's.

Qiang is understanding towards this answer, we get introduced to a new character called MeiGuei (I think that's how her name is spelled I forgor) who looks rather not like a monkey, or she does but she just doesn't fit in with the rest. But qiang doesn't think anything of it because his romantic partner liuyin is quite literally a half and half of two species anyways so she isn't judgey.

Liuyin has qiang promise not to tell his friends that they were the imposter this whole time, qiang doesn't break this promise and agrees

Liuyin puts on a disguise and Upon them getting introduced to qiangs friends they're rather friendly except jinli, he's kinda thinking everything is really sketchy.

Fast forward to more important plot points, qiang doesn't know how to properly give a speech as king (he hasn't been at the kingdom in 20 year's since he was a prince so he didn't exactly learn alot about being a proper king) so liuyin ends up doing it but UH OH the group spots the imposter and guess what they didn't know it was liuyin So jinli and shichen go to investigate when they go to the festival banquet.

They both leave qiang and go to investigate and end up confronting the imposter, jinli attacks and when qiang catches up he sees the whole thing and tried to break the two apart, this goes sorta fine until qiangs parents come up, liuyin not wanting to get caught being an imposter apologises to qiang in monkey chatter before running off. Qiangs parents see the group and ask qiang what happened because they heard a struggle. The group tries to lie but also explain what they heard at the same time and man our roles were SO BAD BUDDY HAHEJF they didn't believe any of us so they told qiang to go leave to take care of the banquet while they dealt with jinli and shichen, qiang can't talk back to his parents because *COUGH* LORE so she has to agree, again apologizing to jinli and shichen before leaving the hall.

At this point jinli and shichen are pissed at qiang, they don't exactly trust her very much anymore and feel hurt.

So the parents put jinli and shichen in jail, and while that happened qiang got to feel guilty about his actions and slow dance with his lover

And then we left off at a cliffhanger.

Ok part 2

Shichen and jinli are not having a good time in jail, jinli is pissed off swearing he's gonna kill qiang when he gets his hands on him while shichen is like, "please don't do that, I'm made just as you are but it's important fornthe journey"

So they end up talking for a bit until shichen as the idea to explain to the guards they're situation in hopes they'll let them go. After some explaining and some pretty good rolls, they're convinced so jinli and shichen end up out of the prison, YIPPE

Back with qiang, he's having a nice time but again is ridden with guilt especially when tang asked where the others are and qiang just says,"oh they're around" and manages to get qiang to believe him because he's a very gullible monk. It gets late and liuyin says they're going to sleep at a different place while qiang can sleep in his room now since he's back.

Qiang goes to his room and finds that some things are different, on the dresser there are letters but he doesn't wanna read them since they could be private, he senses something in the closet and looks in, previously liuyin kept a magical shadow cloak in the closet but it turns out it was gone which she found pretty strange. And lastly the bed, qiang senses a giant illusion spell on it which is really weird, he manages to dispell it and reveals a small hall of stairs that go up yo the roof, upon going up shichen and jinli manages to catch up with qiang.

All of them question alot of things and qiang goes up the stairs and they follow.

They hear two voices, liuyin in his real form and a new voice, she sounds cold and stern somebody the group has seen before (we theorize that it's the lady bone demon 👀) LiuYin is talking to the demon as if they're negotiating something or the demon is the boss of liuYin. They also stole a red magical sash which is an important artifact the group stole from yin and Jin that bailong seems very protective of. When the two leave shichen and jinli immediately want to investigate and stuff but qiang accidentally let's a sentence slips out which gives away liuYins secret

"Personally I don't want you guys tackling my partner to the floor-"

"Your partner?!"

So yeah they very much want an explanation, and shichen tells qiang that if they have to fight liuyin they will and qiang has to be either with them or Against (ouch)

They go to the hotel to explain things to tang and bailong and then go to the library and that's where liuyin is inna disguise, but because they've already seen this disguise jinli attacks. jinli resorts to violence and because liuyin doesn't like randomly getting tackled it ends up scratching jinlis face which does alot of damage (jinli now has a scar) qiang gets between them and asks liuyin to explain the situation because everybody needs answers.

We find out that liuyin is working for the demon we heard (not against their will tho it's for a different reason that I can't remember but it's not a bad reason dw) liuyin does NOT like qiangs friends anymore and constantly throughout the session asks qiang if he's sure he wants to continue on this journey

Part 3

It's now the middle of the night so they have no choice but to rest up, we all roll and it ends up with qiang and shichen have nightmares while jinli slept like a baby. Wonderful!

In the morning theyre all feeling very tense, there's a feeling of distrust anxiety and worry in the group, they know today is the day to leave so because jinli and shichen are still wanted criminals, tang goes up to liuyin (who's back disguised as qiang) and asks for a pardon, meanwhile shichen sees a magical cloak and BUM BUM it's a voidwalker and it's wearing the magical shadow cloak that went missing. Shichen holds the voidwalker up to make sure it doesn't get away and qiang is close enough to see what's happening and then

It goes into the shadows WITH shichen, meaning shichen is now MISSING. Qiang is already stress out as it is so now she's even more stressed, qiang tells jinli so they both along with bailong end up looking for shichen and he ended up in a tree (shichen is very fearful of going up trees and isn't the best at climbing) qiang does a little "dw guys I'll help him down" and climbs up there easily to try and get shichen down, but jinli just gets the BEST IDEA to get them down, the shake the tree.

In the end only qiang got knocked down due to a very high roll by shichen, but by the second time the big blue lion ended up coming down, and bailong caught him so HORRAY!

when they finally get shichen tang id being escorted to the group by liuYin and MeiGuei, which they all realize they can leave and continue their journey.

Qiang is very hesitant to leave but knows she has too, so saying his goodbyes in monkey chatter to liuyin they say one final message for qiang

"don't let the other's get you in trouble"

Qiang just nods and after that they CONTINUE THEY'RE JOURNEY WESTWARDS ‼️‼️

and that concludes the apeling kingdom, I was meant to make many drawings based off it but i got sidetracked with school and OC work aswell as me being hyperfixated on LMK but ya that's what happened

[davyjoneslockr]

IDK IF ITS TOO LATE FOR THE CHARACTER ASK GAME buuut trish if ur still doing it!

(For this ask game)

First impression: I guess I didn’t really think much about her at first? I loved her intro and her almost breaking Narancia’s wrist + dunking on Fugo for no discernible reason was so awesome of her. But she unfortunately kinda took a back seat for the beginning parts of Vento Aureo, and I just found myself wishing there was more of her, and that she was granted more agency by the narrative.

Impression now: LOVE HER SO MUCH. After like the halfway point of VA she very quickly became a highlight of the part for me. The way she doesn’t hesitate to question what’s happening around her, chooses to become an active player instead of letting her (very justified) fear consume her, and when she not only gets a stand, but one that presents her softness as a strength and demonstrates the incredible resolve she has? So so good. I also really really love her in the Purple Haze Feedback bonus chapter, where she meets Bucciarati’s mom and ponders whether he was a good person after all, and I think she was a great perspective to frame the Giorno vs Mista fight in the flashback. I only wish she had more time in the spotlight, and that she had a more active role in the final fight (which. Sorta ties in to other criticisms I have of the part as a whole).

Favorite moment: Obvious answer, but the Notorious BIG fight. Like I said before, I think Spice Girl is a perfect stand for her, and I like that she’s sentient, which allows her to basically interact with her own conscience while she’s suddenly thrust into a life-or-death situation only she can handle. And we finally have a fight where it’s not Giorno stepping in to save everyone – because without Trish, Giorno would’ve been out of commission for good. I also just found the way she struggles, has to think on her toes, and ultimately perseveres very refreshing and human in a way that reminds me of what I loved about Jonathan in Phantom Blood. And her “arrivederci” at the end is so awesome I clap and cheer every time I see it. Again it makes me wish we had more Trish-centric arcs, because Notorious BIG was so so good and she was what made it such a highlight for me.

Idea for a story: Post-canon Trish aughhh I love you. Whether it’s immediately after Vento Aureo where Giorno isolates her from her only living friends, and she has to navigate life on her own after her world was shattered over the course of a week, or years down the road where (I think) she eventually reunites with them, has to confront Fugo now that’s he’s back, interacts with Sheila E. (so much tragic toxic foil relationship potential), and balances her stardom with her ties to the criminal underworld. I need to write more about her there’s so much to talk about with her.

Unpopular opinion: As much as I love AUs where she joins Passione in some capacity, I don’t think that would be a good or satisfying ending for her. I think she retains those relationships eventually, and she definitely wont ever be able to live a “normal” life after everything she witnessed, but the fact that she ultimately leaves Passione and does something else with her life is good, actually. It builds on her contrasts with Narancia (where he didn’t take the chance to lead a better life, and she did), and, frankly, I don’t think she deserves to have to do horrible things and fight to survive for the rest of her life.

Favorite relationship: Her and Narancia!! The parallels between them are so awesome, and I like how Narancia projects onto her at first, but eventually gets to actually know her as a person – and while they’re different in many ways, they’re still similar, and Trish grows to trust him, too (love that one of the first things she does after the body swap is to run to “Narancia” for comfort). And her friendship with Mista by the end is so fun and silly too, and quickly turns tragic with the PHF bonus chapter stuff. Let them go to the mall together please I’m begging no more horrors </3

Favorite headcanon: When she’s older and far into her music career, rumors start spreading around that she’s involved with the mafia. They’re generally treated with the same level of seriousness as the “Paul McCartney/Avril Lavigne died and was replaced with a lookalike” conspiracies. Eventually, she puts out a rock opera concept album based on a “fictional mafia story,” with a couple strangely-dressed musicians nobody can place a name to – a guitarist and a pianist – joining her usual lineup. Everyone praises her for being a meme savvy queen.

[ferrocyan]

a meandering talk about tart and "fray"

disclaimer that im talking abt half remembered events and quests bc i havent replayed any of them. were playing fast and loose here lol

because she woke up after the calamity w amnesia tart has an odd sense of what she is and isnt capable of. some things shes totally clueless abt but others she tries and is like oh huh i sort of know how to do this already. like carpentry, and combat

her mental process tends to go "idk if i can do this" (gets into a situation) "OH I TOTALLY CAN LETS GO" (gets overwhelmed) "shit shit shit gotta run". bc her knowledge base is limited and she works mostly off of feelings she gets into bad spots a lot www

so tart is sorta both recklessly brave and a coward. and also a dumbass who thinks if she runs she can probably escape (nope lmao) well it gets her beat up a lot but shes ok w it

tart goes into fighting arr primals w this reckless mindset and so far has been strong enough to come out on top. she wants more so she goes to gridania and hears about a mysterious primal that appears on occasion. goes "awesome gotta kill that guy" and challenges it to a fight

this is odin, and odin is way, way more than she bargained for (ooc: this is an extreme level fight that is labeled as normal, i was clueless and went into this w minimal information and got my ass fucking stomped)

as per habit tart wants to run. except. shes here w a padjal (basically children blessed by the forest elemental spirits) and only a handful of guards. tart is the only one who can fight a primal, everyone else would get corrupted and die. theres no way she can run, and for the first time shes terrified out of her mind

and gets killed by odins final "zantetsuken"

the primal disappears (defeated?) fortunately the padjal is able to beg the elementals to save tart, so shes not dead, just with a deep scar where she was cut from shoulder to chest. but something did get killed there.. her desire to run from danger

it doesnt die instantly either, much like tart herself. it takes until she gets framed for the murder of ul'dahs sultana, and she and the scions of the seventh dawn have to escape arrest. the rest of the scions sacrifice themselves for their leader minfilia and tart to escape. at the last moment minfilia stays behind and urges tart to go ahead, escape to ishgard where she would be safe

for a moment tart feels so relieved and takes the offer. but in safety the realization of what shes done hits like a truck. she vows to never, ever allow herself to run and leave someone else to die again. plant your feet on the ground, keep yourself chained in battle, and you do not die. (this is holmgang, the warrior skill that makes you unable to die for 10 seconds. i changed it to target self instead of chaining an enemy at the beginning of heavensward.. i had wanted to not do it but decided it worked as part of tarts story. incidentally i might have forgotten to use holmgang at all in the odin fight... lol)

so. thats good right! throughout heavensward the primals that the warrior of light has to fight ramp up in power. even her allies start to worry, especially alphinaud, but tart doesnt care. without the fear, primal battles are just fun. she fearlessly takes them on!

this is a great thing, right? its character development. though someone disagrees: tart herself

you cant really kill a desire, can you? you can repress it of course, and its easy to repress a desire when its been cut off from your heart. but its still there: the desire to run. to not be in danger. to be safe and unhurt and alive. it lives on, though separated by odins blade. it does not accept how tart has chosen to throw herself into mortal peril over and over. for what? for the ishgard that never accepted her? for the eorzea that took her heroism when its good for them and then threw her out like yesterdays garbage? why be a hero when it either gets you killed or taken advantage of? it was better before the calamity, when her parents were there and they still called the vigil home. if only we could repel those damned ishgardians and take back the vigil... if only theres a way to stop tart from her foolish heroism...

and so we arrive to fray. fray myste was a dark knight, someone working in the shadows of ishgardian society to protect the weak. it led him to be accused of heresy by the church and put into a trial by combat, the (unfair) result of which was his death. frays body was left to rot along the walls of the slums. ...and that is where the repressed desire of tarts heart finds itself a convenient vessel, becoming "fray"

frays dark knight crystal gives "fray" the ability to use dark magic, which they use to entice tart to interact w them. fray will teach her how to be a dark knight. tart agrees, and in learning the dark arts its not just tart who becomes more powerful, but fray too. bc tart has stopped just repressing fray outright and denying them completely, it gives fray the power to grow beyond what it is

at first fray hopes that tart would listen and stop this "heroism" madness. but the events of heavensward leaves tart w a certainty: she cant call coerthas home. shes a different person from who she was before losing her memories. now she is the warrior of light. thats all she can be. fray rejects this and attempts a hostile takeover of a fort in coerthas--since the vigils are gone, home is in ruins, then whitebrim front is the closest thing and fray will take it

they fail. defeated by tart. fray laments their fate but goes willingly back into her heart. only wanting to be heard as the feelings of love that they are

and so ends the tale of fray for now. i say that because. uhh. tart never does listen and only gets worse in the next expansions. heroism will only consume her further ...sorry fray.... u_u

then there is myste. or is there myste? myste is an orphan boy with a strange ability: he can manifest memories into almost-real people. he powers this ability with tarts dark knight crystal, by accident, and so shes roped into helping him out (with our other dark knight friends sid and rielle. theyre great, i just dont have anything to say abt them really)

similar to fray, myste is a manifestation of the warrior of lights broken heart.. this time their guilt and regrets. theyve saved the world and many people in it, but along the way theyve killed others and failed to save even more. thats why hes shaped like both haurchefant and ysayle.. friends who saved us for the price of their own lives. myste wants everyone to have another chance to live. he wants the dead to pass on peacefully, and the living to be unburdened by grief. myste wants to be forgiven for what hes done

now uh. i unfortunately have to tell you that tart has none of that shit. the vigils, dawn and dusk especially, were the first line of defense in ishgards war against dragons. tart was raised surrounded by death. its just a part of life, dying and killing. were all beasts getting slaughtered in the end. no need to feel guilty over upholding your survival above everyone else

its not impossible that tarts guilty conscience would break off and manifest as a boy, like fray, but the thing is the self-love and self-preservation that fray represents was a part of tart as a character, part of how i played her back in the beginning of the game. while guilt and regrets... not really. tart is stupid and easygoing but more importantly shes callous when it comes to "doing the right thing". anythings justifiable if its for the right thing. conscience isnt something she denies she just doesnt have one. lol

also the cardinal virtues former warriors of light of the first work way better for her to explore regrets and living at the cost of other peoples lives

ok whew that is all thanks for reading my ted talk on. literally what is this even about. i just like talking abt tarts "fray" and where it came from lmao alright im done

[sneakyscarab]

another day, another touhou off the list, although this time its far from being an easy experience.

nina's thoughts on Touhou 15 - Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom

Legacy of Duelist Kingdom features Yugi and the boys back at it again to defeat Pegasus! wait, thats not right… Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom features Reimu and the girls back at it again to defeat... somebody! LoLK is a very unique entry, having one of the biggest new 'gimmicks' of any of the touhous ive played so far.

LoLK's big new feature is a completely new way to play the game, the exciting PointDevice mode! (really just rolls off the tongue). as opposed to the standard touhou gameplay loop (which this game does have as well, under the name Legacy mode) PointDevice mode makes the game play sorta like doing a tool-assisted speedrun, apparently being inspired by I Wanna Be The Guy. in PointDevice mode, lives are removed, so if you get hit you're out, but as a tradeoff the game is filled with numerous checkpoints that you can infinitely continue from, for example pretty much every individual spellcard/phase of a boss is a unique checkpoint. this basically means you have infinite tries for every single spellcard but you HAVE to do each one no-hit (you get bombs to ocassionally cheat, but not very many and they never refresh since you never actually die).

this sounds like it would make the game super easy since you can just infinitely practice every section until you get it right, and you would be correct! unfortunately, ZUN was aware this made things easier, so the general difficulty of patterns and enemy spawns was jacked WAY up. i… really do not like this compromise. spellcards move way faster now and often require far greater perfection than usual once you get to the lategame, with multiple regular spellcards being pure survival sections where the boss is invincible, things usually reserved for climactic final phases. theres also a much higher amount of 'jumpscare' spellcards that suddenly kill you if you don't already know theyre coming, which in a normal run would be complete bs, only being justified here since you can just go again. ZUN definitely succeeded in making it feel like I Wanna Be The Guy, but thats not the kind of game i want to play. getting wiped by BS spellcards and having to do them over and over again got me genuinely mad at times, which has happened a few times in previous entries but it was typically me being mad at myself for screwing up, not being mad at the game itself like this one made me.

besides that, the gameplay is mostly similar to DDC, although once again they have changed how life/bomb pieces are dealt out. after each 'chapter' (basically wherever a checkpoint is in PointDevice mode) the game ranks you based on how many bullets you grazed multiplied by the % of enemies you killed, and if you got enough points you get a bomb piece in PointDevice mode, or a life piece in Legacy mode. this is probably my least favourite method of the ones that have been thrown around, since its really hard to organically tell when youve grazed enough, and during stages its hard to tell when a chapter will end. it incentivizes you to not kill enemies since you want more bullets to be onscreen so you can graze more, but at the same time if you miss killing an enemy and it goes off-screen then your chapter score goes down making the extra grazing still not add up, its a lose/lose either way.

for playable characters, we got Reimu and Marisa of course, Sanae is back (yay!), and Reisen appears as a playable character for the first time outside PoFV. Reimu and Marisa play exactly the same as their B movesets in DDC, so nothing new there. Sanae uses her two movesets from UFO but stapled together, so she shoots frogs unfocused and snakes while focused, which is maybe a bit lazy but i liked both of those weapons so im totally fine with it. Reisen has a strange weapon that has random angle spread shots unfocused, and heavy piercing vertical shots when focused. her most interesting feature though is her bomb, which gives you brief invincibility on activation, and then applies 3 shields to Reisen that block a death, although offer next to no i-frames. her bomb is probably really good in PointDevice mode, but i only had the patience to try that mode once and i went with Sanae. clearing PointDevice mode counts as a 1cc, even if its pretty much impossible to lose unless you just give up, but i dont think i care to try for a win in legacy mode. if you're curious. my retry total on my PointDevice run stacked up to 547 lol.

for the new characters, my favourite addition is probably Clownpiece. more faeries are always good, and Clownpiece is a pretty interesting one since she's a Hell Fairy, whatever that means. for some reason shes themed after the USA, wearing a star-spangled jumpsuit and featuring the stars and stripes in her spell cards, and holding an eternally burning torch similar to the statue of liberty. the concept of the fairy of hell being an American clown who drives people insane is somehow kinda fitting lmao, even if its completely absurd.

besides Clownpiece, i can't say i really cared for the other characters. the rabbits and lunarians weren't very interesting to me in Imperishable Night and they still really aren't now. Doremy is intriguing, being a ruler of the Dream World, but her stage and fight really didn't sell me on the concept of it being a dream. if you took the dialogue out i dont think anyone would assume the level was supposed to be a dream reality instead of just, flying through real outer space to reach the moon.

so that was LoLK. definitely my least favourite one so far, and by a pretty wide margin. i like what ZUN was trying to do here, and maybe with better tuning PointDevice mode couldve been a really fun new way to play the game, but it just made the game a slog of trying nigh-impossible spellcards over and over again until you get it right. i might come back and try a 1cc on Legacy Mode, but having experienced how insane the lategame gets im not exactly chomping at the bit to go back for another round. this game almost feels like karmic punishment after i got a little too comfortable with the last 3 games. if theres one good thing about PointDevice mode, at least its that your victory is inevitable, so i can stop playing.

i hate for the tone of this review to be so negative, but i just did not have a good time with this one. i wanna do something to lighten the mood though, so heres a silly doodle of clownpiece i made in ms paint :P

[eldritch-elrics]

control (2019) review

alright! i now have 45 hours in control and have beat the main game, both big dlc quests, and the vast majority of the other sidequests (except shüm fuck shüm). so let me share my updated thoughts!

short answer: it’s really good 👍

longer answer:

control is a weird one. while it is technically true that i've never played another game like it (i have never played a third person shooter before!), it also takes much of its inspiration from stories, art, tropes, and aesthetics with which i am extremely familiar. of course, that isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. but it did kind of add to my lukewarm feelings about it in the first couple hours. there is very little in control (at least in its beginning) that legitimately surprised me, which somewhat contrasts the ~deep, dark, mysterious, twists around every corner~ vibe it’s trying to cultivate. but i absolutely warmed up to it.

while i’m talking about the beginning and my hesitation surrounding this game, i should probably bring up my only major grievance with control: the way jesse is written. i’ve joked many times that cutting 80% of jesse’s inner monologue would make control a far better game. the thing about jesse is that she is very invested in her own role as Mysterious Protagonist With Dark Past. i cannot emphasize enough that the worst way to make a character feel Mysterious (in a non-comedic work, at least) is to have them think to themself about how mysterious they are and how they have to avoid telling people about their backstory and etc etc. the opening ten minutes of the game actively made me want to know less about jesse. i did not care about her backstory until maybe halfway through.

she also keeps a running internal commentary throughout the game that i think is written to make her feel “relatable” ( “ugh, i have to go do more tasks?” “i kind of hate that guy” sorta stuff) but instead feels tell-not-show-y as hell and also just plain obnoxious. writers have GOT to understand that in a visual medium, giving a character an inner monologue and/or running commentary is going to make them look like a dork. hades understands this. psychonauts understands this. hell, death note understands this best of all. i do not believe jesse is a dork. i think she’s supposed to be cool as hell. and she is! i just wish she were a little less Aggressively Normal. (though, to be completely fair, it is cool to have an AAA video game with a female protag who’s extremely normal.)

well, with that out of the way, let’s talk about some of the other stuff in this game.

on the topic of characters, i surprised myself with how much i liked a lot of the characters here. the animations are a little uncanny but the voice acting is just top-notch. honestly i cannot pick a favorite (human) character; they’re all really fun, and i came to really look forward to talking with them. (oh except trench. did not like watching his hotline things. he has the same problem as jesse: the narrative thinks he is too Cool.) i think emily pope, casper darling, and langston all really nail the “cool but also dorky” vibe in a way that jesse, alas, does not. speaking of dr. darling, i loved the decision to keep his involvement in the plot to the backstory, and have him only “speak” to jesse through prerecorded messages. (live-action messages too! how cool!) unraveling his entire deal was one of my favorite parts of the story.

goes without saying that ahti, the quirky janitor, is GREAT. what an excellent character. “finnish tango” is my favorite section of the main plot (along with ashtray maze directly after it, of course).

well, that is a perfect segue into talking about the main plot. i think it’s fine. idk. no strong feelings. the hiss are a fun antagonist. dylan’s interesting. there are some parts of the ending i don’t entirely understand but that’s all cool. yeah idk! i can’t say i was really playing the game to see what happened next in the main storyline. but i also don’t really have any complaints about it, other than wondering if i would have been more invested if jesse’s backstory had revealed itself more quietly & naturally.

meanwhile, the way control uses environmental storytelling is top fucking notch. oh my god. i LOVED collecting documents. hooooooly shit guys this is such a good game if you want hundreds of irrelevant documents. there is lore about EVERYTHING. some of it is important to the main story. the vast majority is not. you gotta sift through it and piece stuff together. there’s a lot of stuff that’s just there to make the world a little richer. and the overwhelming bureaucracy of the bureau really makes me believe that they would have vast amounts of documents describing all of it.

in general, the stuff about the FBC and the oldest house is where the story really shines. it’s equal parts fucked up government agency & group of people who is actually doing important work. (well, maybe with an emphasis on the former. though i kind of wish there was more direct political commentary in the game...) i loved the unethical science, and all the disagreements about scientific method (hi underhill), and just the vast amount of history everywhere.

it helps that the number one appeal of control is its environments. obviously the game is gorgeous. i love its sinister brutalism, its use of color and light, the surrealist parts, just everything. it’s one of those games that well-balances realism with having a striking artstyle. but, of course, one of the biggest delights in control is how tactile the environment is as well. the part where i started liking the game was when i got the launch ability and could interact with just about anything. and then i started REALLY liking the game when i got to the maintenance sector and saw just how serious the worldbuilding was. not only are practical concerns like “how does the FBC process energy” taken into account, those questions also form the basis for hugely complex rooms with an insane attention to detail. goddamn.

ok well with the launch ability i suppose i should talk about the gameplay too. it’s very fun! since i was playing on controller, i wasn’t a massive fan of the shooter parts, but as soon as i got an ability that locked onto targets it was like yes. this will be my primary weapon for the rest of the game. and it was. (also the gun pierce. i love you pierce.) the movement is also great. and the other abilities. seize! is really fun! and it is so awesome to fight in environments where you have to take the environment into account even more than usual, since you’re launching stuff all over the place!

(edit: i have just now remembered one more thing i really didn’t like about the game: the obnoxious quest ui that just stays on the screen! i am a seasoned player of video games; i can tell what i need to do next without having a big message on screen at all times. and if i can’t, that’s what the missions menu in the pause screen is for! i turned off that ui very early on and completely forgot about it.)

i think the sign of a great game to me is one that makes you want to do the sidequests. boy i wanted to do the sidequests. i wanted to discover shit! i wanted to do all the fetchquests! i didn’t care at all about the rewards! the whole mold thing was an especially fun & challenging part, and i really liked confronting silly altered items. it’s also an interesting choice to lock many of the major boss fights behind sidequests. i won’t say much about it for spoiler reasons, but hands down my favorite character in the ENTIRE game is former. i love former with my whole heart. oh my god. best beastie in the world. (or, uh, not in the world. idk.)

one thing i will say about the gameplay, though, is that inventory management was a bit tedious. i could not get rid of mods fast enough (and i got so much money from that LOL) and there were so many of them that getting one didn’t feel particularly special. though yes, i did try to pick up every collectible and chest i saw.

finally, about the dlc!

investigations sector felt a little bit like a hamfisted crossover, but other than the alan wake stuff i was pretty into the execution. i really, really enjoyed the stealth sections, and just the general horror throughout.

the foundation is EXCELLENT. i liked the story of the foundation far more than the story of the main game. aesthetically sublime. great lore/backstory that keeps you intrigued but never gives too much away. FORMER IS THERE. contains “found footage,” one of the best short sidequests. there is a secret astral bathroom. it’s great.

overall, control is pretty good. as a story about a fucked up house it very much fits into my realm of interests, and i generally think it’s fun, interesting, and well-polished. i don’t play many AAA games, but wow, you can absolutely see how the big budget helped this one. would recommend.

[transgenderfightclub]

mildly long rant that was originally talking about how the family dynamics in beautiful boy are sorta like my family except it got wayyyy off the rails is below. its lowkey a vent near the end but idgaf! its my blog!

im trying to watch beautiful boy and it might just be my pattern sensing way better while im on adderall bjt. why is this oddly similar 2 my life. lol why did nic go from being really awesome and cool and extroverted to just doing drugs all the time because he figured out that like when you do stimulants or really any drug you actually feel organized. and you feel okay. and normal. even if you dont act like how other people act it feels normal to YOU and you feel like youve always supposed to have felt like that. even when those drugs arent meant in your body at all and you could die doing them. they always just make you feel something youve convinced yrself you cant feel anymore. anyways the dad in this movie is really like my dad. and its just really weird because normally i dont feel bad convincing my dad that im not on drugs. okay well i feel a little bad but not 100% bad. but when i see nic just blatantly lying to this guy that so clearly cares about him and is trying to help him im like oh what the fuck thats fucked up! he should tell his dad that hes using because hes literally just trying to help. i dont know. it feels like i shouldnt tell my dad i abused drugs at all, let alone the fact im doing it again, because everyone will totally freak the fuck out. but then i think about it and im like... wouldnt i freak the fuck out if my teenage kid told me they were abusing prescription medication and almost died last year doing it? i mean my dad was concerned when i told him a friend of mine snorted ritalin when she was nine (which was a lie-- when i told him, it was yesterday. i didn't want him to freak out even then and think my friends were making me do drugs or anything.) he was so worried and told me to ask her more because "a kid who fucks around with drugs turns into an adult that can't let go of them". i should have told my parents when it was shaping up. i dont know. i wish my brain was like fully normal and not a shitshow without drugs. also unrelated but ive started losing more hair than normal because the adderall abuse has started again. which sucks. i like my hair. but i like not failing and not sleeping more. i think one of my friends is going to be able to tell tomorrow even if i try to avoid the topic. he has this subtle kind of worry. i think he knows i get scared if its too direct. it culminates in telling me i should sleep more, telling me sleeping one hour and loving it is really just the allegory of platos cave, when asking if im on adderall he coats it in a community reference. fuck i dont know. i think im socially withdrawing again which sucks because even though its hard for me to form actual connections with people and ive never felt like someone understood me on a deep level except for my friend who passed, i like having friends. i like being normal. i like talking to people. i like people treating me like im normal. i think in the long run the only trajectory for me is to never touch any sort of drug ever again which REALLY sucks because i really like them. i dont know. when im 18 i think i should talk to my dad about this. he'll understand. g-d that sounds so cringe. "when im 18". im not like a baby i have competent thought and can control my own actions. im not some dumb teenage asshole trying weed for the first time. i think in the short term a good course of action would be doing mushrooms and seeing where the fuck that gets me. i sort of need any kind of guidance and the only adult i would normally talk to about that i dont talk to anymore and the one friend that actually gets me is dead. so like i dont really know where to go from here so i think just trusting a plant to do its thing might be a good idea. i dont even know what im doing.

[the-twilight-man]

Wednesday, March 19, 2025

Entry 005: Birdwatching part 2

Okay, Listen, I’m still freaking out. This has gone way over my head and I frankly think I still shouldn’t be speaking but fuck if I know any better I should be dead!

So that fucking thing yesterday? Day before?

…

I cant remember. This all sucks. Why did I get brave who let me do that?

Fuck okay well it happened and I’m not caught yet so I’m counting this as a win.

So on my last update, Monday, March 17th, I sorta mentioned something about a Harbor meeting?

Turns out, it was a deal. Of course it was how clique. Oh, to go a day without a weapons deal, just shoot me now.

Seriously, it would be easier to smuggle it in Blud then just transfer it by car to Gotham that’s better.

Ship trade in ‘Haven has been dead for a decade anyways who cares. Damn, a aircraft would’ve been better if it wasn’t so expensive.

I got there late. I’m slow and unprepared but well hidden. Which is really my only talent and I still fucked it up.

Stray bullet hit my arm. Blood starts trickling out.

I thought I was going to die okay?

When that parasite was about to eat me? No fear apparently. Those sharp teeth not enough 2 scare me through my adrenaline.

But this stupid wound that still hurts like hell? It got me 2 shout.

And I was at a pretty low key place, behind them on the roof.

I wanted to just watch them. I got some moves learned! Sort of. Everything was so far away but it didn’t stop that bullet from hitting me.

Ugh.

So, shouting. Not a good thing to do when hyper vigilant vigilantes are taking note of ever person there.

It was like only 3 or 4 of them too. Bat- bat, bird-bird. Whatever.

One of them starts heading towards me. And after seeing how they took down those dealers? Hell no. I’m not dealing with that.

But I’m also not a complete idiot. I don’t move.

Trying to run away would only make sound and as I’ve said, I’m still new to this roof jumping.

I stand there. In the middle, to the side. Just next to the ladder.

I don’t know why I expected the Black Bat to climb up the ladder. Who the fuck thinks that?

No, I was so sure I could pull a hide ‘n seek and just, hide at the beginning so the seeker forgets.

But no, I don’t even get a chance because they fling up the side.

Seriously. Seriously, I hate these people.

I tense up just watching her glance left to right. Then lifts a hand to where her ears should be and says “Clear.”

I damn-near had a heart attack hearing that word.

Frozen still, watching them take another quick glance and left. Apparently a rooftop scream is not high on the priority list.

I didn’t dare move till after the fight was cleaned up and the sound of sirens and hushed voices faded.

I kept stepping on my blood to hide it to. But I keep wondering if it was caught on camera. I don’t even know if there were any there.

Surely there had to have been? It’s the harbor.

But its also old and I was on some random rooftop who cares.

Me.

Ok well, that’s that.

My arms still fucked. I can’t go to the doctors on account of, uhm, everything?

Is the bullet in there? I can’t see it. I don’t know if I can feel it. Ugh.

I’m so uncomfortable in this awful closet filled with cleaning supplies that can’t help me.

I’m going to try to sleep then move to another location tomorrow. Maybe write to a hospital? Ask for advice?

I’ll probably just end up Youtubing my questions. Won’t hurt anything but my bills. I am not going back to my library after last time.

I am so, so tired of moving where I sleep every time out of fear. And I think the wound is making me more woozy than normal, I usually don’t take 2 naps a day.

I guess I’ll just see how tomorrow is.

That’s all. Bye.

-The Twilight Man