#i know the bulk of posts on here are mine

[butterflytarot]

Broke Witch Hacks

Listen! I get it. Money's tight, times are tough, and witchcraft - though very important - has to take a backseat to the mundane sometimes. Though there isn't always an alternative to everything or a cure to struggling financially, I thought I'd include some tips for broke witches and practitioners!

Before getting into this, I do want to clarify: For many practices, you don't need any tools or resources in order to practice, but I know that tools and whatnot can be very useful and may align with your traditions, so I wanted to highlight budget-friendly recommendations with this post! Thank you, and I hope this helps some of you, because it helps me!

SMOKE OPTIONS

Incense can be a very cheap option depending on where you live. In fact, some shops even sell boxes in bulk for under $2. I recommend getting them in-person from small shops, but you can find good deals online too! This is a great alternative to candles if candles are too expensive for you.

Additionally, tealight candles! They're often cheaper, and sold in bulk. You can also get those talls candles - you know, the ones that usually have religious imagery? - at places like flea markets, dollar stores, etc! If you don't agree with the religious imagery they depict, you can cover it with paper, peel it off, write on it with marker... and so on!

CRYSTALS

Crystals are often very expensive, but sometimes, they're WAY more cheap than you'd think (you just gotta know how - and where - to look)!

First and foremost, look up open and closed mines. If a mine for a specific crystal is open, you're going to find it on the cheaper end of its usual price scale. If it's closed, ways a few years until it opens again, otherwise it'll likely be more expensive!

Secondly, be mindful of shops you buy from. Any shop could overcharge you, so learning about the quality of different crystals is important.

Thirdly - be mindful of CALCITES! Some people will sell you a calcite (which is usually $15 or under) but say - or truly believe - that it's a different crystal (which is usually more expensive). The tell-tale sign of any calcite is that the crystal looks "wet." Look up the difference between green calcite and aquamarine - commonly confused for each other - and you'll see what I mean!

Lastly, ETSY ETSY ETSY! Etsy is going to be your best friend when it comes to crystal shopping! You'll want to apply the price filter, otherwise you'll find more expensive stuff. I recommend shopping in the U.S. specifically - the quality of crystals is higher than other places, like Hawai'i or Indian, but it's more inexpensive than places like the U.K. Some crystals you can even find free on Etsy, such as selenite.

Commonly inexpensive crystals can be certain calcites, selenite, sodalite, tiger's eye, and howlite! Crystal chips can also be quite expensive (I once got genuine turquoise chips for under $10)!

You can learn more about shopping for crystals here and you can learn more about tiger's eye specifically here.

HERBS

Let's be honest, having your own garden can be really unrealistic, and buying genuine herbs can be pricey. Instead, I recommend buying tea at the store! Your average tea bag has various herbs in it which you can use for your workings.

You can also do energy work with your basic drinks - tea, milk, even water - as well as your food (that's part of kitchen magic)!

Your average cooking seasonings (salt, italian seasoning, pepper, garlic, etc) are all things you can also use! (It's actually common for normal household items in general to be used!)

WATERS

Using water in your practice can actually be huge. Even if you don't have clean water, even if you'd rather just use rainwater.

Rainwater on your window can be used for divination. Moon and sun water can be used for various practices - medicinal, cleansing, offerings, etc. Regular water or salt water for cleansing... Salt water is also great for protection. And so on!

PENDULUMS

Pendulums aren't always the fancy, triangular jewelry you can find online. You could use almost anything for a pendulum - even a pencil tied to a string! Just know your positioning and have your protections up!

BURNING PAPERS & ELEMENTAL WORK

Sometimes, writing your intentions or prayers on regular paper and then burning it can be very helpful for spellwork or manifestations.

Additionally, whispering to wind or trees are also options people lean towards - Whether it be kindly asking the elements to carry out your wishes to the rest of the universe, or just having a friendly nature spirit being a listening ear, any elemental force or spirit you have a good relationship with may be a great resource to you in dire times!

If nothing else, putting energy and intentions into what you speak or think can sometimes be the most powerful magic you can do! Not everyone throughout time had fancy bowls or effective candles, but magic and witchcraft were still practiced. Learning chants, prayers, dispellings and verbal banishings, and much more, can really be helpful to you!

You might like to review this resource on mantras!

SPELL JARS

Spell jars can be difficult to find, but an alternative I like is using mason jars! Usually you can just clean them out from any residue food or juice, and places that give out free food often have stuff in mason jars. Otherwise, lots of people tend to give away mason jars free, on sites like Freecycle or Facebook Marketplace. And sometimes, mason jars can be cheap when you buy them as food at the grocery store, even the dollar store!

Speaking of the dollar store, you can easily find mini jars at the dollar store sometimes too, depending on where you're from! Usually they come in sets of 4-8! They're often very tiny, but great for mini jar spells that you can easily slide into your purse after buying & doing some spellwork with them!

Lastly, you can use other dishware or containers for spell jars! In my practice, I almost never close spell jars actually, so things like cups, bowls or plates work just fine! If you prefer to close your spell jar, simple food containers work lovely as well! If you can't afford food containers, you can re-use some from certain foods - for example, deli meat at the store (usually the cheap brands) sell their meats (like harm or salami) in hard plastic containers, which you can clean and reuse! You can also use Altoid (mint) cans, any cans you wish to reuse actually, and so on!

SEX MAGIC

Sex magic requires literally nothing but knowledge and your body (and sometimes, not even any work with your physical body is required)!

ALTARS

Hidden altars can be made with everyday items, decor, shoeboxes... Learn more about it here, if this interests you!

Additionally, the home in many cultures can be seen as a temple. How you treat your guests and fellow residents, how much love you put into the home, and things like taking care of yourself inside all matter. Relaxing is very important psychologically within your home. Dancing and singing can put out good energy. And so on. You don't need filled bookshelves, fancy floorings and extravagant food to make your home a happy place, a holy place, a spiritual place to be.

You might enjoy learning more about how the household was regarded in ancient Greek and Hellenism, which you can do here!

SHADOW WORK

Shadow work can simply be just a pen and paper! But also, you could use your phone notes.

Another method of shadow work only involves TRAIN OF THOUGHT! It's all about self-reflecting in the moment, following associations, and consistently asking yourself why you feel things the way you do and/or see things the way you do! You can get pretty deep when interrogating yourself internally, without pressure of writing everything down!

SPIRIT WORK / WORSHIP

Spirit work, and worship, is free! You don't always need glamorized art, bowls of water and incense offerings every night, to worship a spirit (like a deity). In fact, sometimes devoting acts to them is a way of worship, like studying, resting well, crying, or even going outside!

Additionally, spirit work and making deals with worship sometimes is all about the energy and effort you put into it. Depending on what transaction you're making, no physical items are required!

Just make sure you're staying safe, and that you're respectful of all spirits involved!

THANK YOU!

I hope this was helpful to some of you! Please feel free to comment if you need help finding a low-cost alternative to something! <3

[cod-dump]

Yknow. I really didn't think I'd be here... but here I am....

I've written 10 out of the 16 works on Ao3 for Nik/Price/Graves. TEN.

Like damn. Okay. I really said "Fine I'll do it myself" AND I DID. With your help, of course, and I cannot understate that fact.

Anyway. Thank you for being a good fandom buddy!!!

I'm proud of you! Read them and loved them, you do good work. Fandom buddies are essential for a fun time and I'm glad you're mine! 10 out of 16 is crazy work and be proud of it.

[odd-chips]

So I've been teasing this character in my tags/posts for a while, and she's finally hereeee. Anyways WHOOPS, another self indulgent Lethal Company character who is basically the Wario version of [Cap'n]!

Meet Echo and her crewmates: Orion (goggle'd circle-shaped one), Spade (short one with big arms), and Guy (shapely GNC one). Being the opposite of Cap'n's crew, they're all men EXCEPT for Echo!

At first, she started out as a grown woman having a one-sided, very pathetic beef with Cap'n, but she evolved into an angry teenager who projects all of her issues onto someone who literally doesn't know she exists (and subsequently does something horrible to herself to rectify this weird beef). Did it work? Well no, come on, look at her, now she's even worse GOKJDFMKDF

And when I say "one-sided", I mean it. Genuinely Cap'n doesn't know who she is, like, at all. I think the first time they meet will be the inevitable werewolf fight between the two of them when things get out of hand.

Anyways I love the kidnapper fox, but alas, she was too swag for this world, RIP to a real one that lasted a month and a half. u_u)!!

[ahqueinfortunio]

Babe, Your Butt is a National Threat – A Luke Hughes

You’re lying on the couch, scrolling through Instagram when Luke walks by in just his sweats. And not just any sweats—those grey ones. You glance up casually and then immediately do a double take.

“Oh my God,” you say, sitting up dramatically.

Luke freezes, a spoonful of peanut butter halfway to his mouth. “What? Did I forget to put pants on?”

“No,” you say, pointing an accusing finger. “Your butt. Luke, it’s getting out of control.”

He blinks. “...Thanks?”

“I’m serious!” you jump off the couch, storming over for further investigation. You do a slow circle around him like you’re inspecting a horse at auction. “It’s not fair. I do squats, lunges, Pilates—PILATES, LUKE!—and you just exist and somehow have the glutes of a Greek god.”

Luke, now visibly trying not to laugh, shrugs. “Hockey genes, baby.”

“I demand a butt-off. Right here. Right now,” you declare, already pulling up your leggings like you're suiting up for war.

“You want to compare?” he says, laughing. “You’re insane. This is why I love you.”

“No! Don’t distract me with compliments!” you say, poking him in the chest. “This is serious. If anyone in this relationship should have the better ass, it’s me!”

“Babe, come on,” he says, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around you. “You know I’m an ass man. And I happen to be madly in love with yours.”

You cross your arms. “Even though it’s not as... aggressive as yours?”

“Hey,” he says, grinning, “Yours is elegant. Mine’s just... powerful.”

“Your ass could solve world hunger. Mine’s barely getting by,” you mutter, but you’re already smiling as he kisses your forehead.

“Want me to wear the grey sweats more often?” he asks, teasing.

“You know what? Yeah. We’re gonna monetize that thing.”

He laughs. “So, only fans for my ass?”

“Don’t tempt me, Hughes. I could fund our next vacation on those cheeks.”

And despite your outrage, you end up cuddled on the couch ten minutes later, head on his chest, scrolling through photos of the two of you. Every so often, you glance at his butt and shake your head.

Some girls get the 6'2" hockey player boyfriend. You got the hockey player and the best butt in the relationship.

You’re still not over it.

It’s been two days since you declared war on Luke Hughes’ glutes, and you’ve been on a mission. Morning squats. Afternoon squats. You’ve even started Googling “How to bulk your butt overnight” like a woman possessed.

Luke, of course, has been zero help. Every time you bend over to grab something, he dramatically whistles and goes, “Looking like a snack today!”—as if he isn’t the entire three-course meal walking around in grey sweats and oblivious hot-boy energy.

Today, though, you’ve got a plan. A revenge plan.

You wait until he’s napping on the couch—arms spread out, hair a mess, wearing those sweats again like a threat. You sneak over with your phone.

“Operation Steal the Peach is a go,” you whisper, activating selfie mode.

You carefully angle the camera to frame his butt in the background like it’s a museum piece, then snap the pic. You add a caption:

My boyfriend’s ass is so good I’m filing a formal complaint.

You’re giggling like a maniac when you hear a voice behind you: “Did you just take a picture of my butt?”

You spin around. Luke is squinting at you, still half-asleep, pillow lines on his face. He looks offended in the way only someone with a god-tier butt can be.

You hold up the phone. “Just trying to keep the world informed.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Did you post it?”

You pause. “No…”

He snatches the phone, checks your camera roll. “You captioned it?!”

“You should be flattered!” you defend. “It’s iconic. A peach for the ages!”

He stares at the screen, deadpan. “You put the crying emoji and the peach emoji together.”

“To express my emotional pain!”

Luke stares for another beat, then bursts out laughing. “You’re insane.”

“You knew this when you started dating me.”

“Yeah,” he says, pulling you into his lap, “and I’m gonna use this picture as blackmail when you least expect it.”

“Oh yeah? Well I’m not afraid. I’ve seen your camera roll too. You’ve got six different photos of my foot from when I fell asleep in socks with sandals.”

He gasps. “That was art.”

You’re both laughing now, tangled on the couch like two idiots in love. He kisses your cheek, still grinning.

“Truce?” he asks.

You sigh. “Fine. Truce.”

Then you add, “But tomorrow? Butt day. And I’m coming for your title.”

Luke raises a brow. “Oh, it’s on.”

Ending Note: You never do beat Luke’s butt. But at least you get to grab it whenever you want. So… who's the real winner?

[mendessi]

things i say when you sleep | chapter one

multi chapter bodhi durran x fem!oc word count: 4.9k summary: Ania crosses the Parapet into the Riders Quadrant, and finally meets with the marked children of those who got her parents and brother killed. Bodhi Durran is quick to remind her that she's marked too. tags: slow burn, friends to enemies to lovers, canon typical violence, mentions of death, she falls first he falls harder, majority canon compliant, some canon deviance, eventual smut, angst with a happy ending, additional tags to be added

AO3 masterlist

one | two | three | ...

Observant.

The words I had always heard used to describe myself. I spent my whole life watching, and observing those around me in their day to day. I always needed to know everything. I could never let it go if I couldn’t perfect it first. I intend to carry this strategy across the Parapet. I picked it up as a child and had no choice but to refine it after my parents and brother died at the end of the Apostasy. It’s how I survived the training that led me to this winding staircase.

I listen carefully to the conversations happening in front of and behind me, but I never engage with the chatter. I don’t care to learn the names of anybody on this staircase. Maybe I’ll care once we live to transition from candidate to cadet.

I am here because I have to be. Not because I want to be.

The shimmering relic crawling up my arm earned me a one-way ticket straight into the Riders Quadrant should I make it across the Parapet.

My heart thumps against my chest as the top comes into sight, three riders clad in all black keeping post. I keep my eyes on the stairs, taking one step at a time, my knuckles turning white from the grip I have on the straps of my rucksack.

“Next.” The rider recording names says. “Name.” He speaks quickly, with no time for niceties. He’s been here all morning watching candidates fall to their deaths. I could be next for all he knows.

“Ania Alistair,” I reply. I step around him when he nods his head.

My jaw clenches at the sight of the rider standing at the opening to the Parapet. He’s certainly grown since the last time I saw him six years ago. He’s grown into his height, his shoulders broader, his cheekbones and jawline now more prominent. He had bulked up, surely a result of being a rider. His eyes meet mine and his eyebrows raise, if only for a moment. I knew I would see him here, I just didn’t think this soon.

“Xaden,” I say his name. I am not the thirteen-year-old girl he last saw in Calldyr.

“Ani.” He replies, looking down at me as if testing the waters. “I was expecting you.”

"Don't call me that." 

The day that was now known as the rebellion had ended, I had been following my older brother, Beckett, in Aretia. He had become so secretive, him and all of his friends. I wanted to know what they were and why he kept them from me.

There had never been secrets between us before, and ever since Tyrrendor had begun a secession it felt like there was a brick wall between them. Our parents had been in another fight, the fight that ended their marriage and I didn’t find it fair that he had left me behind.

Our mother didn’t agree with the Apostasy and wanted to take Beckett and I to Navarre to declare our loyalty. Her mother was a rider, how could we ever betray that?  My father was Fen Riorson’s best friend and right hand man and believed that keeping us in Aretia was the safest option. He had an extremely active role in the Apostasy.

I crept behind the wall watching as Beckett engaged in a deep conversation with Xaden and his cousin Bodhi.

Fen had always said that with Xaden first in line to the throne, he was betrothed to a Poromish girl named Catriona, and Bodhi was betrothed to me because he was second in line. At a young age, I never understood why I of all people, but Beckett and Xaden always teased us about it.

“Ania, I know you’re there.” Beckett had called out. I rounded the corner with a frown and looked between him and his friends.

“Hi, little Alistair.” Xaden greeted me, turning his body away from Garrick. Bodhi gave me a small wave and I couldn't help the way my cheeks flushed.

His friends were some I had spent my entire life around. I saw them more than I saw my friends. They’d been around for as long as I can remember. Fen and Talia had held me the day I was born, a great family friend to my parents. Even Xaden, at three years old, had held me. My father eventually got caught up in whatever it was that led to the Apostasy.

“You can’t be here, Ani,” Beckett said as he approached me, lowering his voice.

“No, you don’t get it. Mom and Dad are fighting again. But it’s bad this time, Dad is packing our things. Our things. Not just his.” I lowered her voice to match his, glancing over at Xaden and Bodhi, too occupied in their conversation to overhear.

“Something is happening, you have to go home.” He said as he placed his hands on my shoulders with a firm grip. Anxiety swam in his eyes and I could almost sense it radiating off of him.

“Come with me.” I could feel the tears prickling my eyes. “I’m scared.”

He took a deep breath and then looked to Xaden and Bodhi, “I’m going to walk her home. I’ll be back in less than twenty minutes, I swear.”

“Safely.” That was all Xaden said and we were off. Beckett kept my hand in his, tugging me quickly through the streets.

I knew Navarre had not been happy with us but my parents had assured us that we were safe here. Until my mother decided otherwise, but I trusted that they’d never put us in harm’s way.

When we arrived home, our entire home looked like it had been ransacked. The bookshelves were thrown to the ground, and books were scattered across the living room. Our rooms were torn apart as well as if someone had been looking for something.

“Ani, stay behind me,” Beckett said quietly.

I gripped the back of Beckett’s tunic in my hand as we approached our parents' rooms and as he pushed the door open a scream ripped through my throat. I ran to my mother’s lifeless body on the floor ignoring Beckett’s objections. The blood that spilled from my mother’s throat seemed nonstop, covering my clothes as I sat in it, my hands covered in it as I tried to stop the bleeding.

“Beckett!” I cried out. “Please do something. Did Dad do this?”

“No.” He breathed out. “This wasn’t Dad.”

Fight or flight took over and he grabbed me by my tunic, shoving me into the closet. “You have to stay here, do you hear me? Don’t go anywhere until I come back for you. I will come back for you.”

Beckett never came back. But Navarrian infantry did.

When Xaden saw me in Calldyr for the executions of our parents, he shielded my eyes so that I didn’t have to see. He and Bodhi stood on either side of me until we were split up to go to our designated foster homes. They both fought against the guards, trying to ensure that I’d stay put with at least one of them. I wasn’t.

From that day forward, whether it was his fault or not, I blamed him for the death of Beckett. My parents too, even. My mother wanted no part in this rebellion. My father had been captured after he fled, leaving Beckett and I behind, and now had been executed right in front of me and the rest of the rebellion kids. I knew for a fact that Beckett had left me in that closet to run after Xaden and Bodhi.

I hated them all.

My shoulders twitched slightly as thunder boomed across the sky. Xaden noticed it, however. “Good luck.” Was all he could say to me.

I made it across without so much as a slip despite the downpour of rain. Once in the courtyard, I study it carefully from my place against a pillar. I have no interest in making any friends here. I’m here because I have to be, not because I want to be. I’d much rather be with the healers, like my mother. I observed the other cadets around me, taking note of who seemed to be a potential threat in size. It was hard to tell in any other way, too soon. I wasn’t terribly short, simply average. I had been lucky enough to be fostered in a home that trained specifically in hand-to-hand combat. If you count the fake sparring I used to participate in with my brother and his friends, then I’d say extra training. Though it didn’t matter the amount of training I had, that could only help so much if my opponent was bigger. I was told stories by my grandmother and in this moment I am replaying every single one in my head. It is just how she described it.

I watched and watched, observing those who came into the courtyard after crossing the Parapet.

Observing others is what got me this far. So long as I stayed quiet and didn’t make any enemies, I could make it Threshing and bond. I just need to remain unseen.

After being placed into Second Squad, Flame Section, Second Wing, I once again took note of those around me. My new squamates. Most notable was the petite girl with silver hair, to who I caught on quickly was Violet fucking Sorrengail. The girl’s mother oversaw my father’s execution and probably had a hand in my mother’s too. If that wasn’t bad enough, my squad ended up being moved into Xaden’s wing.

My bed unfortunately was positioned right next to my squadmate, Rhiannon, who was placed next to Violet. The two already seemed acquainted before they even crossed the Parapet, but I didn’t bother asking how they knew each other. I opened my journal, leaning against the flimsy headboard, and began writing about my first day in the quadrant.

“Hi,” Rhiannon says, though I’m not sure if she’s talking to me. “I’m Rhiannon. You can call me Rhi. We haven’t officially met yet.”

With a small sigh, I shut my journal and turn to face Rhiannon, “I’m Ania.” Don’t make enemies.

“This is Violet.” She gestures to Violet who sits on the edge of her bed.

“I’m Violet.” She offers a short wave.

I hum in response and then turn back to my journal, drawing out one of the dragons I had seen today. Gods, they were incredible.

“I just figured you know, we’re in the same squad, so we’ll be spending a lot of time together. We should get acquainted.”

“Consider us acquainted,” I say in the nicest way possible. I can see out of the corner of my eye the shared look between the two girls, but I keep a snide remark to myself.

After morning formation the next day, I quickly decided that while maybe attractive, my squad leader Dain Aetos was particularly annoying. As I watch from my place back one and to the left, it's easy to catch on that Dain and Violet have a history. The sort of history I couldn’t quite figure out, but with a few more interactions I could pin it.

As the Second Squad made our way into Battle Brief, I felt someone reaching for my wrist. I’d done so good at keeping my relic covered, I don’t think anyone even suspected I was what they call a Marked one. My defenses automatically up, I turn on my heel, shoving my forearm into the person’s throat, using my weight to shove them against the pillar.

“Not bad, Ani,” Xaden says, gently removing my arm from his throat. "I taught you well."

“Don’t sneak up on me like that. And don't fucking call me that.” I snap, as I take a step back. "You didn't teach me anything."

“Tell me, why is it you’re so jumpy? You’re not hiding something are you?” He glances down at my covered arm. “It’s July, why are you wearing long sleeves?”

“None of your business,” I reply, tugging my sleeves down over my hands.

“I understand you’re not fond of me, but regardless, I’m in your corner whether you like it or not. I can help you here.” Xaden’s voice lowers.

With a glance around, I catch Violet staring, but she quickly averts her gaze when she realizes she’s been caught. “I don’t need your help, Xaden. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“I’m your wingleader, though I doubt you need reminding. We grew up together, Ania, so trust that you will be watched over.” Xaden takes a step forward. “There’s no date set in stone, but you’ll be meeting with me and the other Marked ones in the woods-“

“I’m sorry?” I practically fume.

“I’m speaking, Ania.” He snaps and I almost flinch. I’ve only ever seen him angry once in my life and I have no intention of seeing it again. “Just do me a favor and try not to be a pain in my ass.”

We certainly are not kids in Aretia anymore.

Without another word, he stalks off and I have half the decency to not flip him off behind his back. He didn’t even finish his conversation which pisses me off even more as I follow the rest of my squad into Battle Brief. Who the hell does he think he is? Grabbing my wrist and demanding I meet him and the other Marked ones. And for what exactly? I haven’t seen him in six years and he was hardly the boy I remembered. If I can just keep my distance from him and the rest of the Marked ones, I will be just fine.

Battle Brief was hardly anything I found interesting. I simply took notes, didn’t ask any questions, and observed. I paid attention to who paid attention, Violet Sorrengail was annoyingly one of those people. Of course, the girl was smart. Ridoc Gamlyn was a class clown, who I kind of hate to admit was actually really funny.

I had always accelerated in school, far more than anyone in my class. It was something I prided myself on, something my parents were proud of too. I remember the days when Beckett, Xaden, and Bodhi would ask me questions as if I were some sort of lexicon just to see if I knew the answer. I always loved knowing more than others. I met my match in Violet Sorrengail.

I sat next to Rhiannon and Violet (unfortunately) when it came time for assessment in the sparring gym. I didn’t feel any special sort of way about it, I’d either get my ass handed to me or I would take the victory. Something in me told me that I’d come out on top as I watched the other first-years spar. I had a particular skill when it came to hand-to-hand thanks to my foster home.

I can’t help but eavesdrop on Rhiannon and Violet’s conversation taking place next to me. As much as I want to hate Violet, just like the rest of the first years, she and Rhiannon both seemed to have good heads on their shoulders. They were nice which was hard to come by at Basgiath. You’d think these two had known each other for years the way they acted, but I was struck with surprise to find out that they had only met before crossing the Parapet. It had always been hard for me to make friends and maybe that was my own fault, my own incessant need to exclude myself. Things now remained how they always had been.

I begin short-handing into my notebook quickly as I watch Ridoc and Aurelia spar, recording each of their fighting habits. I’d done so for every person who stepped on the mat, mentally tucking their patterns into a drawer in my head to use the day I had to spar with one of them.

“What are you doing?” Rhiannon asks, turning her head to look at me. Ever so nosy.

“It’s assessment day,” I say, my eyes not leaving Ridoc and Aurelia on the mat, despite my hand rapidly scribbling into my notebook. Gods, I can’t wait for the day I hold lesser magic, I can stop using these annoying quills. “I’m assessing.”

“That looks like chicken scratch,” Violet says leaning over Rhiannon to look at my handwriting. She wasn’t wrong. I had to write quickly to keep up with what was happening in front of me, so words were cut short, often abbreviated to one letter or number. The only legible thing was the title at the top of the page, Ridoc & Aurelie next to today’s date.

I slam my notebook shut and pull it close to my chest, “Well, it’s not for you to read. Do you two know anything about privacy?”

“I was just curious.” Rhiannon shrugs before getting called to the mat to spar with another first-year in our squad, Tynan, after Aurelia had her tooth knocked out. Just after Jack Barlow snapped a kid’s neck. Avoid him at all costs.

I can feel Violet’s hesitation before she moves closer to me. “I think that’s a pretty neat way of keeping track of-“ She stops at my side eye, “It’s strategy. I get it.”

I take a deep breath, debating on if I wish to reply to her. If I do, she’ll know that I’m just as smart as she is. “When I was in training, my instructor taught me that each move gets a number or letter.” I open my notebook and allow Violet to take a look. We both turn to Rhiannon as I write quickly. “One, one, two, five, four, three, five, six.” That was the combo she just threw. At least that’s what I was taught, it may be different here.”

“That’s… really smart actually.” Violet’s brows furrowed as she read over the notes I had taken for the day. “Where did you train exactly?��

“That’s none of your business.” I close my notebook and shove it into my bag, along with the pesky quill and topped ink pot.

“Too personal. Got it.” Violet turns her focus back to Rhiannon and doesn’t try talking to me again.

“You.” Emetterio says with a finger pointed at me, “And Cadet Hollis.”

I stand from the bench and step onto the edge of the mat rolling my shoulders.

“Good luck,” Rhiannon says as she takes my seat on the bench. “She’s a second year.”

That’s hardly a problem. I ignore her and take my place in the center of the mat and take a deep breath, drowning out everyone standing around the mat. I just need to track her fighting patterns and then counter them. Simple. I can do that.

Cadet Hollis, who I believe is named Quinn, joins me in the center of the mat and takes her fighting stance. I step my right foot backward and raise my hands, ensuring my face is blocked.

She moves first, taking a series of swings and kicks at me to which I slip each one much to her surprise. I track her pattern, it’s all the same, all within such a short spur of time. One, one two three, two. That’s a common pattern she follows, one of the first I learned, when she’s not trying to get her hands on me. When she takes another step with her left foot and I’m sure she’s gonna do the same thing, I slip her first throw and swing a rear hook directly into her jaw causing her to stumble backwards.

“I know what you are, Ania,” Quinn says as she bounces on the balls of her feet closer to me. Her voice is low, just loud enough for me to hear it. “They’ll all know it too. Stop hiding it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I seethe through clenched teeth as she unsheathes a dagger. I unsheathe mine too, the only one I brought with me. If she wants a knife fight, then she’ll get one.

“It’s July. You’re the only one wearing long sleeves.” My brows furrow. Xaden must’ve talked to her about me. She lunges towards me and I sidestep enough to dodge a deeper cut than what she gives me. I hiss through my teeth but I don’t give her the satisfaction of hearing me scream in pain. I feel the blood trickling down my arm as I clench my dagger so tightly that my knuckles turn white. “Why is that Cadet Alistair.” It’s not a question.

"Alistair?" I hear the whispers on the side of the mat but I force them out. 

She lunges again but I’m ready. My arms wrap around her waist as I slip under her swing. I’m behind her now, my hands wrapped around hers above her head as she tries to fight my grip. I manage to pry her fingers from around her dagger, knocking it to the floor and before she can reach for another, I drop the one in my hand and catch it under her arm. I slam the hilt into her ribs eliciting a scream from her. I kick her in the back of her knees and she falls to the ground. I give her too much grace, thinking she’ll yield but she kicks her leg directly back, connecting with my kneecap. I fall to the ground and she’s on top of me in a second, both of us rolling around for dominance. I fall onto my back finally with Quinn in a headlock.

“Yield,” I say, but it barely comes out above a breath. I know for a fact she hears me.

“Stop. Hiding.” She strains to reply.

She raises a hand and for a moment I think she might be tapping out. Instead, her fingers dig into the slit on my tunic from her earlier cut and directly into the gash where she drew blood. I cry out as I feel the skin at the edges of my wound splitting wider, but I refuse to let go and so does she. She pulls down with her fingers and my sleeve rips completely off. I hear the gasp from my squamates and I realize Quinn’s intention. I roll over and release, her, standing to my feet quickly, my relic now on full display. I stand over her and grab her shoulder forcing her to roll over, my feet on both sides of her ribs. I grab her collar into my fist and lift her back off the mat, making sure she’s making eye contact with me before I punch her directly in the nose, hard enough that I hear the bone crack.

“Ruthless.” I hear Ridoc whisper.

“It’s always the quiet ones.” I hear Violet say.

“I yield,” I say through a heavy breath as I release Quinn’s collar, shoving her back into the mat.

I don’t bother to look at any of my squamates, not caring to see the shock on their faces as I exit the gym and head to the healers.

I knew I couldn’t hide this Gods forsaken relic forever, but more than a day would’ve been nice. I can still remain unseen and keep to myself. I can still avoid creating enemies. 

I can hardly bare the idea of returning to the shared dormitory and find myself sitting in the courtyard against one of the pillars. It's past curfew but I hardly find it in me to care. I just need a breather after today.

My first day here didn't exactly go as planned but I will prevail and move forward. It's impossible to survive here without the thickest of skin. I need to focus on what I can control. What I can control is that I earned a victory today at the assessment against a second year. 

Ruthless. That is what Ridoc had called me. I hope that reputation doesn't stick. 

I take a deep breath and look up at the night sky. Gray clouds scatter the sky and the stars look so bright. It reminds me of-

"They're not as bright here as they are from the roof of Riorson House." I don't have time to finish the thought. I go to stand, expecting Xaden to come out of the shadows. "It's past curfew."

"Bodhi," I say from the awkward crouching position I'm in.

"It's fine." He says before he sits next to me. He has the decency to leave some space in between us as he looks up at the stars. "I won't tell the wingleader." 

I take the moment of silence to truly look at him. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him since becoming a cadet, though I can't complain because I made it a top priority. I still associate him and his cousin with Beckett's death. The last time I'd seen him he was an awkward fifteen-year-old still growing into himself. I hate to admit but he was much more handsome now. He still has that familiar warmth and softness to him. His dark curls are much more tame than they had been when we were teenagers, his brown skin now clear from any blemishes. He was... beautiful. Younger me wouldn't mind the silly idea of being "betrothed" to him. 

"I'm glad you made it, Ani." He says quietly. I don't correct him. 

"I didn't have a choice, did I?" I roll my eyes tugging at the grass sprouting through the cracks in the concrete. "It was this or death, so." 

His mouth moves but he doesn't speak. I can tell he's choosing his next words carefully, "I saw you spar today."

"And?" I say. I don't know if I don't care or if I want to know what he thinks.

"You broke Quinn's nose." The corner of his mouth twitches up into a small smile. 

"Don't act like she didn't deserve it." I grimace. 

"Hey, I didn't say she didn't." He laughs and I turn my head to catch the sight. He always had a great smile. "You fought well. We were all impressed."

"Who's we?" I ask, looking down at my hands that are now folded in my lap.

"Everyone that had a chance to watch it. There are a lot of good fighters in the first years, but none can take out a second year the way you did today." 

I nod my head slowly. I know I'm good, I'd been told before by my instructors, but hearing it from others doesn't do so much as boost my ego. Hearing it from Bodhi feels... different. Somewhere deep inside me, I feel a sense of validation that I didn't know I was looking for.

"I don't think anyone will be challenging you that's for sure." He hesitates again and I can almost feel that he's about to piss me off with his next words. "Xaden hasn't been taking the best approach with you, has he?"

"What, so he sent you instead?" Of course, this is about Xaden. The rage returns. "Let me make something clear-"

"Ani." He stands up just as I do and I'm almost shocked at how much he towers over me. There was a short period of our lives when I was taller than him. 

"I want not a single fucking thing to do with you or him or anyone with a damned relic on their arm. I'm here because I have to be, not because I want to be so don't think for a second that just because we're all in the same place again things will be like they were in Aretia."

"Hey." His voice is sharp as he grabs my left arm into his hand pulling it up in between our bodies as he steps towards me, "You have a damned relic too in case you forgot." His pointer finger touches his thumb around my wrist and I'm made aware of just how much he's grown. 

"And I shouldn't." I yank my arm from his grip. If only my mother would have gotten me and Beckett to Navarre safely before the Apostasy. If only she would've been able to declare our loyalty. She and Beckett would still be here.

"There is so much that you don't understand. Let us help you. Please, Ani." His voice is softer now, an emotion I'm not familiar with swimming in his eyes. 

"Just stay away the hell away from me. I won't ask twice." 

I turn on my heel and walk away from him. My hands shake with anger and I clench my fists to try and control it. Ever since my final days in Aretia, I have become such a resentful person. I never had this issue as a child, I never even threw temper tantrums and now it's all I wanted to do. I had a happy childhood aside from my parents' end of their rocky marriage. I was always a happy and pleasant child. I hated feeling this way. I needed to be in control.

Focus on what you can control.

I take the deepest, shaky breaths I can muster until it doesn't feel so hard to breathe anymore. I take one more for good measure before entering the dormitory as quietly as possible.

Just remain unseen, keep to yourself.

Don't. Create. Enemies.

previous | chapter two

[zosan-secondchances]

The Pirate King of the North: The Tale of The Bird and The Fox

Main Themes: Villain Sanji, Alternate Universe, Zosan Ship

Warning: Long post ahead and some One Piece spoilers. Contains strong language and explicit content.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 (Special) | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22

Doflamingo

That fuckin’ asshole!!! Stop them!!!

The crew on board the Numancia Flamingo scuffle about to lower their ship's sail further, attempting to catch up to a particularly fast snail just smaller than their own ship jetting ahead of them. Men at the helm angle the vessel, preparing themselves for the inevitable full frontal assault.

A tall man with long brown hair and blue eyes runs up to Doflamingo, hugging the railing of the ship desperately to stop himself from falling off the speeding ship travelling through rough waters.

Diamante

Doflamingo, there’s no chance! They’re way too fast for us!

Doflamingo

It’s a fuckin’ snail! How is it faster?!

Looking over at the highest point of the snail's shell, he sees a man with long locks of hair stand up straight. He growls angrily at the blonde’s devilish smile across his face.

Doflamingo

I swear to god, I’m going to wipe that shit-eating grin off the face of this world!!!

The blonde man laughs at his reaction and pokes his tongue out. He procures something out of his pocket and holds up the item in his hand, tossing it up and down playfully, taunting him in a challenging way.

Doflamingo spits at the sight of his desired Devil Fruit in someone’s hands. He turns his glare towards Diamante.

Doflamingo

I don’t care how, but I want that fucker dead!

The Numancia Flamingo manages to gain enough speed to sail alongside the fast snail. Doflamingo soon notices, however, that it’s not that their ship had gained speed, it’s the snail that had slowed down to pull up alongside them.

Doflamingo yells at his men to attack. His crew begins a barrage of cannonfire, aimed at the bulk of the snail’s shell. As the projectiles fly in the air, flashes of pink and red fly between the vessels. The cannonballs suddenly vanish without a trace.

Doflamingo

What the ever living fuck was that?! You call that an attack?! Keep firing!!!

His men panic and continue their cannonfire as ordered by their enraged captain.

Diamante

Young master!!! There’s no use! Something–someone keeps knocking them out in the air!

The blonde man reappears on the side of the snail’s shell, holding onto the ropes that are securely attached to it. He calls out to Doflamingo in a cheerful melody.

Sanji

Dooooffy~!

Doflamingo grits his teeth in irritation and runs towards the side of his own ship to face the man directly. He watches beams of pink and red continue their flight between their ships, somehow making their cannonballs disappear before they reach the snail.

Sanji brings out the Devil’s Fruit once more, twirling it at the tip of his index finger playfully.

Sanji

So…you come here often, love? What brings you to this part of the New World on this fine day?

Doflamingo

Mr. Prince! That’s not yours to take!

Sanji

Nah-uh! It was in our territory, hence it’s ours!

Doflamingo

You STOLE it from me, motherfucker! It’s rightfully mine!

And since when is this your territory?!

Sanji

Since we moved our fortress nearby!

Doflamingo

Your idea of expansion is a fuckin’ joke! Give it up or we will board your ship!!!

Sanji hooks his leg around the rope to keep himself tethered against the side of the snail’s shell. He runs his fingers along his jaw, thinking deep thoughts, while he continues to play with the Devil Fruit with his other hand.

Sanji

You’re so angry! Relax a bit, will you

Here’s the thing, Doffy, you are in our territory. You’re trespassing, speeding, threatening a fellow king and his subordinates, and now you’re attempting to steal from me? The gall!

Doflamingo

Don’t call me that! I barely know you!

Sanji

So? Let’s get to know one another then!

Would you be up for a candlelit dinner or are you a fuck-and-go kind of guy?

Doflamingo angrily slams his fists against the railing of his ship and turns to Diamante and his men.

Doflamingo

Board them!

Diamante

How can we make it over there when our cannonfire can’t even–

Doflamingo

I don’t care!!! Do it!

Diamante yells at their crew and stomps away to help them.

Sanji

Making real clumsy decisions there, my friend! I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You should be more carefu–!

At that, the Devil Fruit slips off his fingers. The blonde scrambles to catch it but it repeatedly slips from his grasp so he juggles it in the air clumsily before it finally falls off. Sanji tips himself backwards while keeping his legs hooked around the ropes to catch it in time with both hands.

Sanji

Whoops! That would have been bad, wouldn’t it?

Doflamingo

Fucker!!! Don’t you dare lose it!

Sanji pulls himself up and tosses the fruit up and down in his hand again.

Sanji

You are absolutely correct, Doffy!

…I should just eat it.

Sanji opens his mouth and teasingly holds the fruit between his teeth.

Doflamingo

NO!!!

They hear cries of help as Doflamingo’s men attempt to swing from the Numancia Flamingo over to the speedy snail. Out of nowhere, zaps of blue electricity shock the crew midair. They fall into the open water like rain between their ships.

A blue-headed man reveals himself from the other side of the snail then stands mightily on top of its shell. He crosses his arms, as if to declare that Doflamingo’s attempts are of no use.

Sanji

Mmphf Pmmmff Mmmffphf!

Doflamingo

Wh–What?!

Sanji spits out the undamaged fruit into his hand and throws Doflamingo a wide grin.

Sanji

I said that’s quite a moronic move, especially for you! I think they’re still alive though if you want to get your crew back!

Doflamingo

What the hell do you want from me, Mr. Prince?! What would it take for you to hand that over?!?

Sanji

I told you! I want a date!

Doflamingo feels the veins in his forehead pop. He then notices that the snail begins to slow down but the Numancia Flamingo continues to speed through the waters.

Sanji

Hey Doffy! Who’s driving?!

Doflamingo

…Eh?

Diamante runs up to Doflamingo once more, out of breath.

Diamante

Master… our men…

Doflamingo looks around and notices that there is no one else on deck except for him and his first mate. His eye twitches frustratingly at the sight. As if that's not troublesome enough, he hears sounds of footsteps from the lower levels. When he turns to see who it is, a man with green slicked back hair emerges from below deck, gripping two of his crew members by their heads with his massive hands as they cry for help. The green-headed man tosses them off the side of the ship casually, claps his hands clean and crosses his arms, looking bored.

Doflamingo

Who the fuck are you?!

Yonji

You might want to watch out where you’re going.

Doflamingo

Huh?

Diamante

Young master–!

The entirety of the ship suddenly surges forwards as the Numancia Flamingo beaches itself above a spiky rock formation at full speed. Doflamingo and Diamante get thrown backwards and they both land roughly against the far end of the ship. Debris from the front flies over and rains down on them.

The two groan at the sudden stop and take a moment to recover. When they look up, the green-headed man has already vanished from where he was standing.

Germa’s snail slows to a stop behind their beached ship. The blonde is now sitting on top of its shell while leaning his back against the blue-haired man who brings out a bamboo rod and begins fishing on the far side.

Sanji waves at the two remaining men on board the crashed ship.

Sanji

Hey! Need help, love?

Doflamingo and Diamante push debris off their bodies and struggle to stand. Doflamingo limps towards the back of the ship and throws Sanji a middle finger.

Sanji

Now why on earth did you crash your ship into this very stupidly large, hard-to-miss rock formation?

Doflamingo

You did this!

Sanji

It's not my fault that you're not paying attention!

Doflamingo

Fuck off already!

Sanji

Wait, I thought you're after me? Don't you want your Devil Fruit back? And now you want me to fuck off? Make up your mind, man!

Doflamingo

Ack–!

Sanji

So is that a no to help? We can tow your ship while you ride on the shell with us.

Well…whatever’s left of your ship anyway.

Doflamingo

I swear when I get my hands on you, I'm goanna–

Sanji

Hey! I'm trying to be nice here!

I’m being nice, aren’t I, Commander?

The blue haired man taps his chin thoughtfully.

Niji

In your weird unusual way–yeah, sure.

Sanji

See? Come on, I’ll give you our first catch of the day! Nice, fresh and juicy! Maybe I’ll even cook it for you if you’re well behaved.

Doflamingo

Shut up, just–SHUT UP! Give me back my Devil Fruit!

Sanji claps his hands together, happily smiling.

Sanji

A fruit salad sounds wonderful! Do you think that’s been done before? A Devil Fruit salad?

One more question, do you need to eat the whole thing or can we go halfsies? What if you eat two halves? Would you get two abilities?

Wait, that's three questions.

Doflamingo snaps at the blonde’s annoyingly arrogant attitude and takes several steps backwards. He sprints towards the edge of his broken ship at full speed then jumps off at the very end.

Sanji jumps side to side, warming himself up. He speaks under his breath.

Sanji

Here we go, come on.

Niji

Do you want our help on this?

Sanji

No, thank you. I need to speak to him privately.

Niji sighs in boredom and reels in his fishing line to recast it further out in the water.

Niji

You might want to tell that to Pink.

Sanji

Pink? Where?

Doflamingo pulls his fists, intending to deliver a powerful blow towards Sanji. As he closes in midair, the blonde simply eyes him and gives him a devilish smirk. His intrusive thoughts immediately think what that mouth would look like with his–

Before his fist meets the blonde's face, he sees a flash of pink in front of him as a girl with a butterfly-shaped cape suddenly puts herself between him and the blonde. She twirls rapidly, swinging her knee into his stomach, sending him hurling into the shallow stony waters down below.

Doflamingo lands with a loud grunt as the spiky rocks underneath him damage his back. He coughs out blood and he lays there still with his body partly submerged in the water.

The pink haired girl lands on top of him, smashing the rocks on both sides of his head. She straightens up, looming over him with a dangerous glare.

She raises a fist to deliver him a final blow. Doflamingo grits his teeth, readying himself for the inevitable pain.

Sanji

Stop!

The girl stops her punch just inches away from Doflamingo's face. Sanji jumps off from the snail’s shell and approaches them slowly. As he closes in, the girl steps aside to make way and faces him.

Reiju

But I was in the middle of a game with Red…. I'm one point away from winning.

Sanji

Oh? What's the prize?

Reiju

A favour or two. It depends on the gap between the points.

Sanji

Can I join?

Ichiji

No, it would be an unfair fight.

At the corner of his eyes, Doflamingo sees another person with red hair land on top of the snail's shell. He takes a moment to turn away from them in order to hide his eyes, and clean his sunglasses with his cape before resting it on his face again. The blonde yells at him to be heard.

Sanji

How the hell would it be unfair?! Don't you need at least a third player to play judge?

Reiju and Ichiji

Because you cheat!

Ichiji

Besides, Blue’s far more dependable keeping track of the score.

Reiju

I agree.

Sanji

But–

Reiju

Oh, don't be such a baby. Blue’s been keeping an eye on us since you're far too distracted playing with your horndog.

Sanji

My…what?

Niji silently nods in agreement from where he sat, causing Sanji to slap his own cheek, taking offense at the whole idea of being left out.

Ichiji finally settles down next to the grumbling blue haired one who is still fishing.

Ichiji

Caught anything yet?

Niji

No… Cosette’s going to kill me.

Ichiji

Forget it. We’ll just buy some on our way back. She won’t know the difference.

Niji

It’s not the same!

Reiju

Let it go, Red. He won't listen if he's at the mercy of our head chef.

Ichiji smirks and ruffles Niji's head, messing up the fringe of his hair that was neatly sticking out of his metal helmet.

Niji

Stop it!

Ichiji

If you don't ask her out, I will. And if I fail–which you know I rarely do–I'll get Green in on the action.

Niji

Don't you fuckin' dare.

Doflamingo

Mr. Prince, you know that I'm still here right?

Sanji

O–oh, whoops!

Commander, could you give us a moment alone please?

The pink girl hums softly as a reply and gracefully walks off to join the two men waiting idly on the shell.

Reiju

Commander Blue, there really is no use. You can buy live ones from the market nowadays. We’ll just kill them closer to home to make it look like you caught them yourself. Or better yet–we can start our own fish farm if we can get one that’s bearing eggs.

Niji

Leave me alone and let me do this!

…Tell me about that fish farm though.

Diamante

Young master!!!

Grateful for the distraction, Doflamingo lifts his head with difficulty and sees that his first mate is wrapped in chains, held firmly by the green headed man back on his ship.

Yonji

Hey King, what do you want to do with this one? He told me they're collecting Devil Fruits but won't say why.

Sanji

Lock him up. We won't be long.

Diamante thrashes about, trying to break out of his restraints until the green head delivers a swift chop at the back of his neck which renders him unconscious immediately. He lifts him effortlessly over his shoulders and disappears behind the wreckage of his ship.

Sanji

Commanders, can I please get you to look around and retrieve those Devil Fruits from their ship?

Doflamingo

No…!

Niji

But I haven't caught anything yet!

Reiju

I literally just sat down….

Ichiji

I'll do it…I guess.

Sanji

Thank you kindly!

The red headed man lazily launches off the snail and disappears where the green man had gone somewhere in the ruins of the Numancia Flamingo.

Doflamingo attempts to sit up with his heavily bruised body. When his arms give, he falls back onto the rocky waters with a loud splash. The water up his nose and blood behind his throat causes another round of coughing fits.

He hears light splashes next to his head and sees Sanji sit down next to him, stretching his legs into the water. The blonde shuffles a hand into his breast pocket and fishes out a clean and dry handkerchief. He stretches his arm out, offering him the piece of fabric.

Sanji

Sorry about that. I like watching my siblings get along. It's not often we all take on the same mission.

Doflamingo

I hate you all so much.

Sanji

I know.

Doflamingo snatches the handkerchief off his hand and begins to clean the blood off his face. Afterwards, he discards it by tossing it over his shoulders.

Doflamingo

Why did you do this? We're just trying to get home.

Sanji pulls a cigarette from his pocket and lights it.

Sanji

Because you've been a bad, bad boy, Doffy.

Doflamingo

…Seriously?

Sanji

And you get this really cute reaction! Your face gets all scowly and angry. And those veins on your forehead really come out, like your head’s about to pop.

Doflamingo groans and rolls himself onto his elbows. As he pushes himself up, he looks up at the state of his ship and frowns.

Doflamingo

My men?

Sanji

All accounted for. Don't worry.

Doflamingo

You didn't kill any of them?

Sanji

Now where's the fun in that?

Sanji crosses his legs, watching the other man struggle to sit up. He steals a glance at the back of his shirt all torn up and his skin is covered in bruises from Reiju's attack.

Doflamingo

Give it back…

Sanji

You're going to need to be more specific than that.

Doflamingo

More speci–? My fruit! I want my Devil Fruit back!!! Like I keep saying a million times over. What else could it be?

Sanji holds up his enclosed hand and begins stating other things out loud while counting with his fingers.

Sanji

A billion Beri, that one white feather coat you like so much, condensed Seastones, a couple of expensive-looking family heirlooms back when you were a Celestial Dragon–

Doflamingo

Wait, wait, wait, wait–how much have you stolen from me?!

And why did you take my coat…?

Sanji

Only whenever you enter our side of the waters. Take it as your payment for our toll.

And…I was feeling cold and your coat just looked warm and snug.

Oh uh…just so you know, it's pink now. I tried to wash it but someone accidentally put in his red flashy underwear with it and… well….

Doflamingo’s brow twitches angrily as he feels his temperature rise.

Sanji

AHA! That! There’s that look that I love so much!

It's…dry clean only though…isn't it? Sorry.

Doflamingo

You… little piece of shit….

Sanji chuckles, ignoring the man’s angered state.

Above them, they hear a couple of splashes as the red and green haired commanders jump off the ship and land nearby. They transport large partly opened chests that contain Doflamingo's hard earned Devil Fruits from the Numancia Flamingo back to their snail ship.

Sanji

Well done, guys! Just haul them somewhere in the back.

Doflamingo

HEY! Those are mine!

Sanji

Now, now…what on earth are you planning to do with them…hmm?

Doflamingo growls and attempts to stand. Before he can push himself up, Sanji points a sharp and dangerous dagger across his throat. He stills and gulps down nervously.

Sanji

We’re still talking. Sit.

Doflamingo grits his teeth and does as he says. Feeling helpless, he crosses his arms and waits for Sanji to speak.

Sanji

Good boy.

Doflamingo

You want to talk, Mr. Prince? So talk.

Sanji pulls the dagger away and returns to sheathe it back behind his belt. Satisfied with his answer, he offers Doflamingo his cigarette.

Doflamingo cocks an eyebrow at him and takes it. He takes a long drag and exhales, trying to get himself to relax and collect himself more calmly.

Sanji

I need your help.

Doflamingo

Fuck off.

Sanji

Hear me out.

Doflamingo waves his hand that's holding the cigarette, gesturing for Sanji to keep talking.

Sanji

I need a temporary alliance again. There are things that I need to do, and I know you need something from me–several things, in fact.

Doflamingo

You mean like the Devil Fruit that’s in your pocket right now? And those other fruits that you just took from my ship?

Sanji

Among other things.

Doflamingo laughs out loud from the absurdity of Sanji’s proposal. The blonde simply smiles at his reaction and waits for him to calm down and respond.

Doflamingo

You’re barking mad if you think I’d agree to another alliance with you.

Sanji

You still think that I owe you for helping me kill my own father?

Doflamingo

Yes. And…

Doflamingo gestures to the crumbling ruins of the Numancia Flamingo behind him. Coincidentally, the largest mast collapses in itself and falls loudly to the side. The rest of the ship follows as the hull gets snapped in half and the keel practically explodes from the stress of the ruined wreckage. Slowly, one of the halves of the hull sinks into the depths of the sea.

Sanji

Again, not my fault that you didn't pay attention. I'm not the one who sent all your men to swing over and come on board. We had to defend ourselves!

Oh, don't give me that look. Quit being such a baby. It's not a good image of you. I’ll build you a new ship. It’ll be shinier! And more pink! Bird head and all!

Doflamingo

With the money you stole from me….

Sanji

Hey! How I acquired that two billion Beri is not important.

Also I know that you don’t have enough proof. My commanders are really good at covering up fingerprints and any form of evidence.

Doflamingo

You just admitted to it!!! And didn’t you say that you stole one billion…? Why is the number climbing up?

Sanji

Guilty until proven. You barely even noticed three billion Berri missing from your treasury so clearly you don’t need so much gold. Look–

Doflamingo slaps his forehead from the whole ridiculousness of the situation.

Sanji

I need to attend the Levely. And I know you have been extended an invitation for the next one.

Doflamingo grins. He laughs his deep maniacal laugh.

Doflamingo

What’s wrong? Are you offended that you didn’t get an invitation to the party? 

Of course you didn't get one. You're a new king. They don't just let anyone in. It's taken years for me to properly be seen as one. Meanwhile…

All you’ve done so far in your rulership is to tear down your father’s legacy that he and your ancestors worked so hard to build. He used to take part in it. And now they're wondering what the hell you're doing to everything he owned.

Sanji

I stand by the decisions I have made and I have no regrets doing so. But…I need to be there this year. It is imperative that I attend.

Doflamingo

So what you’re saying is that you’d do anything for me to help you attend the Levely…. That I can ask you for whatever I want and you have no choice but to do as you’re told?

It was Sanji’s turn to laugh out loud. Doflamingo loses his smile at that.

Sanji

Oh no, dear. Far from that. Sure, I’m happy to discuss the terms and conditions with you for a fair exchange. I do admit that you’re my first most preferred choice though. But I’d be a fool if I don’t have any other options to turn to.

Doflamingo raises a curious brow at that.

Doflamingo

I'm your first choice? Why?

Sanji gives him a wide grin. He stands.

Sanji

So I can do this….

Slowly, Sanji lifts up a leg and straddles himself on Doflamingo’s lap. He spreads his hands out, gliding them from the tips of his shoulders to the wide of his neck.

Doflamingo makes a growling noise from the back of his throat and grips the blonde's waist, pulling him close.

Doflamingo

And you think this is enough? With everything you owe me.

Sanji

Please, you're the one who owes me. Killing Germa’s previous ruler also benefited you, Warlord.

Sanji slides his hands up to cup Doflamingo's face. He pulls him to lightly touch his nose on his, teasing him.

Doflamingo

How did you know…?

Sanji

Let's just say that I have my sources….

Sanji grinds himself over Doflamingo's erect cock, earning him a soft moan in return. Slowly, he turns his head gently to the side to face the horizon beyond them.

Sanji

And…I did escort you home. With all my commanders in tow.

Doflamingo sees small shapes in the water making splashes towards a large familiar island in the distance. When he squints his eyes, he can see his men floating on lifesavers swimming towards the shores of Dressrosa.

Doflamingo

Oh, for fuck's sake…. We were that close to home?! You said we're in your territory!

Sanji chuckles and pushes himself off the man. He walks towards the edge of the rocky surface and watches the events on the distant island.

Sanji

I am serious about that date though.

And… you know how much I'm worth.

He turns and throws Doflamingo a den-den mushi. The man catches it with a single open palmed hand.

Sanji

As for the Levely…think about what you may need from me. You've told me before that you wanted a more permanent alliance, so let's talk. Call me when you're ready.

Or you know…just for fun.

At that, Sanji walks off to return to his snail ship.

Doflamingo

Wait.

The blonde stops in his tracks and looks over his shoulder.

Doflamingo

I think I may have a way for you to get in…but you may not like it.

What are you doing tonight?

Sanji gives him a smirk.

Sanji

Oh, you know. Probably the usual stuff. Scheming. Plundering. Expanding.

I'm curious to hear as to what your plan is, Doffy. It sounds like you already took this into consideration.

Doflamingo

Want to come by and… talk? Usual time and place.

Sanji

…Talk, huh? Sure.

But you're not allowed to touch yourself until I get there.

Doflamingo

Deal.

Sanji

Oh…one last thing.

How did me and my…commanders go today? Do you think we work well together?

Doflamingo

Well enough. You're too…comfortable with each other. Too cuddly and domestic.

Sanji

No, we’re not! We’re the opposite of that! We hate each other!

Doflamingo cocks an unimpressed eyebrow at him and gestures a hand towards the now wrestling red, blue and green commanders as they try to fight for the one fishing rod they have, demanding that they each want to take a turn to show Blue “how it’s done”, while the pink one tries to pry them all apart atop the snail’s shell.

The blonde pauses then begins to laugh, walking towards them. When he nears the edge of the rocky terrain, he turns his gaze to him one last time.

Sanji

Maybe they just hate me then.

Doflamingo

If you want my advice?

Sanji

I don't think I do.

Doflamingo 

Kill them. Before you get too attached. Having siblings while running a kingdom can get...complicated.

Sanji

You're mad. But…I'll keep that in mind if they give me a reason to.

Sanji winks at him, sending shivers down his spine. The blonde gives his commanders a wave, signalling them to start up the snail as he jumps on board.

Niji

Did I hear that right? That you'll kill us if we give you a reason to?

Sanji

Hey, I think you have a bite!

Niji

ACK–!

Yonji

For the record…we all heard it. It came from your horndog.

Doflamingo

What–?! Stop calling me his horndog! My name is Donquixote Doflamingo!!!

He watches the Germa vessel with all its passengers depart. They all bid him farewell in order of age.

Vinsmokes

Bye, Do–Donqui... uh… Duffy!!

Until next time, Mr. Don!

See you, loser!

Don't forget our date later, Doffy~!

Later, bird for brains!

Doflamingo

Close, but not quite.

Getting there but say the whole thing next time!

That's even worse.

I won't, Mr. Prince!

See you, Winch-for-arms.

Yonji

Not an insult, but alright!

Doflamingo can't help but smile to himself, feeling the start of an attachment to the blonde and his armada of a family. After a few moments, he sighs exasperatedly and stands on his feet.

Diamante

Young m–master…

Doflamingo looks up and sees his first mate poking his head out from the unsunk side of the wrecked ship, still coiled around in chains.

Diamante

What the hell was that all about?

Did you at least get your Devil Fruit back?

Doflamingo

…A practice run. Mr. Prince needed an assessment of his performance with his commanders so I gave it to him.

And no…I didn't get the fruit back but apparently I got a date so….

Diamante lets out a defeated sigh.

Diamante

So…what now? How are we supposed to get home?

Doflamingo

We swim.

—

Law swipes his sword upwards, clipping strands of hair from the blonde's fringe.

Sanji ducks down at the last second. A nervous sweat drops from the side of his brow as he takes several steps back.

Sanji

Getting better, Traffy. But I still need to see more of that footwork. You leave your left too open.

Law

Hmph.

Sanji

How are you feeling?

Law

I could eat….

Sanji

Yeah, alright.

Law

You're not going to insist that we keep going?

Sanji

I'm not a monster. No one starves under my watch.

Law sheaths his sword and hums in acknowledgement.

Law

So…

Sanji begins circling around him, occasionally picking up small pebbles from the ground.

Sanji

So what?

Law

How was your uh… date… with Doflamingo?

Sanji

Good.

Law

Just…good?

Sanji

Since you insisted on the details…

We had a good talk then fucked for two days straight–no…three? Something like that. We eventually needed to eat and Niji came by several times to see if I'm ready to go home.

Law

Please spare me the colourful details….

Sanji

Hey! You asked.

Law

I was asking about what happened afterwards and the Levely! Did you get what you needed from it?

Sanji

You can say that…

With a flick of his wrists, Sanji sends the pebbles in his hands to fly towards Law who grabs one end of his coat and pulls it up to his head, blocking them before they hit him.

Law

Stop that!

Sanji

What? It was one last test to see how much you've improved and if you were paying attention!

To answer your question, let's just say we both got what we wanted. It’s…when we formed a more permanent alliance and….

Law

He ate the Devil Fruit?

Sanji nods.

Sanji

Yes. The very one that he's after.

We cut it up and–

Law

Are you about to paint me a picture?

Sanji

Then I put it all over my–

Law

Please, don't.

Sanji

…Then he–

Law

Mr. Prince-ya!

Sanji

What? Talking about it helps!

Law nurses the bridge of his nose with his fingers, trying to ease the now increasing headache from having to listen to Sanji's many back stories.

Sanji takes the opportunity to flick him one last pebble but Law redirects it away from him by raising his sheathed sword slightly so it bounces off its handle.

Law

Will you quit it, Sanji-ya?!

Sanji

I promise that's the last one. Great progress today, Traffy. That'll have to do…for now.

Law

I haven't even beaten you yet….

Sanji

I know. Let's resume training after the festival.

And…please don't call me by name in public. You'll get in trouble.

Sanji pockets his hands and proceeds to walk through the path towards town. Law follows him closely behind.

Law

Why me and not you?

Sanji takes a deep breath, and looks up at the silhouette of the tree canopy against the starry sky.

Sanji

Anyone who knows my identity becomes a target from the Marines…. I can't have that with the Marimo. I was hoping that it would be secret from you for a while longer. They're relentless, and they'd do anything to learn more about me.

Law

Is…that why you haven't told him? Because he could potentially lose his Warlord status?

The blonde chuckles.

Sanji

Even if they did question him, he wouldn't know…it's the safest bet. He didn't even bother asking me about it. Can you believe it? Two decades and not one question. He just does what he's told as long as there's a fight in it so he can get better than Mihawk.

So bloody adorable…. I could squish his face. And…other things.

Law

You're trying to shield him from the Marines…the very organisation who he's working for.

Sanji

If you want to put it that way….

Law

And…I already have a bounty. The Marines are after me no matter what. As for my crew….

Sanji

I lost it in a bet.

Law looks at him in astonishment and disbelief.

Sanji

Bepo has a surprisingly good poker face, okay?! He gets all sparkly and cute with those…big teary bear eyes….

If the Marines somehow find out how much you and your crew know about me, your bounty will either increase or they'll want you only “Alive”. Both, if you piss off the wrong officer.

Law

I guess my crew has done well so far…. I had no idea that they knew.

Sanji

So…whose tongue slipped?

Law

Does it matter?

But honestly? …It was all of them, if you can believe it. I think they found your last stash of pre-made cocktails.

Sanji

Hah!

Law

And…Doflamingo?

Sanji

He begged for it so he could call my name in bed.

Law

Ugh…

Sanji

What? This is why I don't skip details on my dates! That's where the intimate details surface. I was younger and didn't realise how much it could have impacted his life…. Sometimes I do wonder if he's gotten in trouble because of it. Unless he's that good at hiding things for me….

Want to hear how it happened? It was the second time we got together. He–

Law

Please, please keep it to yourself. I really don't want the image stuck in my head of my arch nemesis doing the unmentionable.

Sanji

Are you sure? It's a good story!

Law

I'm good, thanks.

…You don't have any more feelings for him, right?

Sanji opens his mouth to say something immediately. After a few moments, he finds that he's unable to answer the question.

Law

Seriously?

After all this time? With everything he's done to you?

Sanji

Can you blame me? He's the one who got the Marines and Admirals off our backs after Sabaody. Even after finding out that I'm travelling with you.

That takes guts. And a manic amount of dedication. It's not easy to ignore his efforts.

The doctor frowns at that. He keeps his gaze straight, thinking deeply about the situation at hand.

Law

I didn't realise that he's responsible for putting out fires. I thought we'd run into more trouble by now…. The papers seem to be the only issue left.

Sanji

Morgans is my problem. I'll…have to pay him a kind visit next time I'm able to.

As for the Marines’ involvement… Doflamingo is the only one who has the connections to do what he did. I don't even know if any other Warlord has the same pull with the navy other than a former Celestial Dragon.

Law keeps quiet at that, wondering what things would be like if Corazon was still alive and how he'd personally handle incidents if it's him that's in trouble from the Marines.

He suddenly stops in his tracks and shoots a glare towards a cluster of tall bushes. Sanji takes a step behind him, studying his reaction. He purposely drops his guard to give the doctor an opportunity to prove himself.

Sanji

Talk to me, Traffy. What do you see? What do you feel?

Law

I feel…odd. Like…my instincts are telling me to fight or flee….

Right now it's…both? Like I have to stand my ground. It…my body wants to find out more.

Sanji hovers a hand over Law's shoulder and gently clasps it. He gives him a gentle shake.

Sanji

Try to relax. Don't fight it. Let that instinct guide your senses. Just go with the flow.

Whatever's behind that bush might not want you to see it just yet. But that's the next step. You need to feel around it to identify it. Sort of like deducing through the process of elimination.

So tell me… what do you see?

Law

Ugh… that just makes it a bit more complicated but I think I get the idea.

I see… a very grumpy… very angry… is that… a ball of… grass?

A familiar green-headed swordsman emerges from behind the bushes, stumbling forwards and lands face first into the ground. His hair and clothes are disheveled and filthy from the jungle.

Sanji

Close. It's a Marimo!

----------

"The Other Side" Hazbin Hotel cover is stuck in my head as I drew the cover ❤️

[honeytonedhottie]

hii honey 🥹 quickly wanted to mention that ur part of the reason why I even got tumblr, and everything u post is extremely helpful to like, anybody. I also have a question. Lately, I haven't been doing a lot of my assignments, and i've been cheating on tests sometimes because I dont remember anything I learned and I really need to keep my grades up. I just have no motivation to do my work or study at home. I am usually tired or using my phone, and no matter how bored I am, I cant even bring myself to work on my assignments. In my AP lang class I have like a 59. I really have no motivation to do anything but I'm a junior and this year is when grades r the most important. do u have any tips on how to actually be productive and motivated to do schoolwork? also with not getting distracted easily because that's another big problem of mine. sorry for this essay, but I hope this reaches you 💕

hey anonie! so i just wanna let u know that it’s so normal for us as juniors to feel really unmotivated around this time of school because the third quarter often feels like the longest. here’s what i have to say…💬🎀

📔 write down ur homework as soon as u get it and do it as soon as possible - you rly have to stay on top of ur school work and this is a rly digestible way to do so.

🎀 study during the times of the day that your the most alert and make sure that you limit distractions.

📔 if ur cheating on something make sure that you actually know the bulk of what the test is and have the answers to a few questions in the back of ur mind to ensure u get the most things right as possible.

🎀 don’t be afraid to ask for help/use the resources you have! personally i use AI like a tutor and ask it give me practice problems and explain concepts i don’t understand so make sure your using ur resources!

[nostalgiclittlespace]

Wishlist Ideas for Closeted Regressors

So, it’s a little early to be posting holiday stuff, but I wanted to get this out there so since I know a lot of people start their holiday shopping around this time. So, If you’re looking for agere gear as a closeted regressor, or you just want something that’s subtle, here are 12 ideas-with pics. Note: pics are not mine, they are screenshotted from Amazon. prices are in USD, as Im American. Happy regressing and happy holidays!

1.Kawaii water bottles, specifically in the style below. The straw on most of these is a lot like a sippy or bottle, so if you can’t have/don’t want one of those, then these are a great alternative! Just look up ‘kawaii water bottle’ on Amazon and a whole bunch will show up. Most are between $15-25 USD

2. Funko Pops. I actually use mine as action figures and play with them (just be gentle with them if you do this!) so they can be great agere toys and decor! You can find just about any character and any fandom too. The prices very greatly, depending on what character and where you buy from. Black Friday deals on Amazon and Five Below are great ways to find them for only a few dollars.

3. Fidget toys; they can make great Agere activities! Because they are designed to stimulate your senses, many function similarly to baby toys. Note: when buying in bulk packages, the quality isn’t great. So consider whether you want to invest in better quality or quantity. Most bulk fidget packs are about $25 USD on Amazon. Dollar stores often have similar products as well, though once again the quality is unknown.

4. Fleece throw blankets. They are super cute, soft, and cuddly! Not only can they keep you warm, but I like to use mine as a playmat. Once again, price can very greatly; typically anywhere from $10-30 USD

5. Coloring books. I think this one is pretty self explanatory, as lots of regressors love coloring. If you’re worried about rousing suspicion, then just ask for an adult coloring book; these often have more intricate patterns, but if you ask for a fandom themed one, it’ll still have some awesome characters to color! Typically around $5-10

6. Silicone night light. These are available in so many colors, animals, and foods—and they are appropriate for any age, thanks to their kawaii esc appearance; they usually cost about $15.

7. Snack boxes. If your dietary needs allow for it, then these can provide some really cool little space snacks. They’re all pre packaged and come with a wide variety of things, ranging from crackers to cookies. And if you want something unique, you can try snack boxes that feature food from other countries. Prices will vary greatly, mostly dependent on the size

8. Lava lamps. These are just cute and make for a neat visual stim. Plenty of colors to choose from too! If you wanted, it could be used as a sort of substitute as a baby mobile since it’s very colorful and relaxing to watch. These can go for anywhere between $20-40

9. Microwaveable plushies. Super comforting, and for any Littles with cramps or chronic pain, they can be disguised as heating pads. Many of these also come with a scent, typically lavender, though you can find them without too. Cost around $20-40, depending on brand.

10. Scrapbooking materials. Kind of a random one, but they can be used to decorate a journal, you can make a physical photo album like many of us had in our childhoods, etc. Just a fun craft project you can consider! Typically, scrapbooking kits that include some paper, washi tape, and stickers can be around $10-15

11. Onesie pajamas. Lots of options, and are great if you live somewhere cold! Usually $25-40. These can be animal shaped, character themed, or more subtle like a plaid pattern. Very comfy and make for great little space clothes.

12. Glow in the dark stars. They are cute, fun, and aesthetically pleasing. You can get them in a who,e bunch of colors too! Typically $5

[fancyfeathers]

What yan blogs do you like? Did you have any inspirations or something?

There are definitely a few that I REALLY like, like checking for updates daily because god knows I have too much time on my hands lmao. But when I do read I normally read fandom content in bulk so it really just depends on who updated and what my current hyper fixation is, but I do have a few constant favorites.

@yandere-wishes is required to be in this list, like one of my first mutuals and it tends to be that we share a wavelength on our current hyper fixations for fandoms. Like we both started to write a lot of DC content currently and I am so here for it. They were also one of my first tumblr blogs I followed before I even started writing so like when we became mutuals I actually cried, well not really cause I have constant dry eyes but still.

@lavandulawrites I love their genshin content, especially the Capitano content but that’s because I love that man. She actually wrote like my favorite genshin fic, which I highly recommend.

@jymwahuwu they have a bit more of darker content, which they state in their pinned post, so if you like that sort of content then I highly recommend their posts but I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but it is certainly mine when I want that darker vibe. I really like their Honkai Star Rail content (which I really need to start writing for) but I think they write a little Genshin content.

@couldeatthatgirlforlunch another DC author, probably one of the writers that sent me down the DC rabbit hole cause after I read some of their Justice League content I went to go dig up some of the old comic books that my dad gave me when I was a kid. I also really like the way they write Hal Jordan as a yandere and I really like my Green Lanterns so…

@lycheeloving I really love their Justice League/Batfam content as well, some of their content loosely inspired my own. I also love another LGBTQ+ author which is another reason I really like their blog.

@blughxreader their Batfam content is peak and their artwork is peak, I am pretty sure they are on break right now, but still go check out their content.

Then other blogs I recommend are @jessamine-rose @viridwns @yandere-writer-momo @yandere-daydreams @yandere-romanticaa @nikovraskol

I just didn’t have enough energy to write a paragraph for everyone because I am really sick right now and I am most definitely missing a few people but I will definitely update this list at some point 😭

Plus my girlfriend/cowriter, Kitty, who also posts on this blog on occasion may have her own recommendations.

[fishingjelly]

DISCUSSION OF THE PATREON POST ONLY 🔥🔥🔥🔥 just a summary NO IMAGES ❌

discussion of the content is allowed but reposts of the images are not ❌

today’s patreon post was a shot in the head but here’s my summary of the comic

in slide one we see mizi and till beside ivan and they’re talking about his fire show, till’s little speech bubble is calling ivan a weirdo but ivan looks very cute and focused; in the next ivan says he’s rusty while mizi muses about climbing up a tree ‘for old times sake’ while till is off to the side blushing looking at her

three, we get a cute little slide of mizi asking sua a math question (35 times 7) since that’s her talent and leaning on her, sua is blushing while she answers 245

the fourth slide is just mizisua hugging and blushing with some hearts while till (dumbass) blushing goes ‘so cute’ and ivan joins in with a ‘how cuuute!’

after that, till asks Ivan if there’s any use for a talent like ‘this’ referring to his fire show; ivan thinks about it for a moment before going ‘yeah it used to be useful back in the day’

the next slide is a very depressed looking baby ivan (who is 5-6 years old according to a guess by Dewey), he’s hunched over a small fire before someone in a hood approaches, carrying a small child on their back

child ivan becomes defensive and tells the hooded figure to ‘get lost, that’s mine’ in regards to the fire, while the hooded figure is now seated by the fire

the hooded figure pays him zero mind, gets comfy and tells ivan his talent is pretty useful because they won’t freeze to death now, while shifting the child onto his lap

the hooded figure offers ivan some food in return for letting them stay by the fire, ivan makes a… weird face while reaching out for the food 😭 he’s staring really intently and drooling, smth is wrong with him LMFAOOOO

hooded figure tells him not to worry bc he won’t do anything weird so he doesn’t need to be on edge, ten next slide we see it’s ISAAAAACCC😭😭😭😭

without a scar! younger isaac tells ivan to slow down because they’ll reach their base soon, so don’t worry about food

the two briefly talk, isaac guesses his age to be around 5-6 n tells him this place (the slums) isn’t easy for someone like him to make it on his own; ivan tells him he’s been living on his own here for a ‘long time’

isaac tells him to be careful, then asks his name and offers ivan to come along with them

ivan tells him ‘don’t have one, and no thanks’ while thinking ‘how do I know I can trust you’?’

isaac thinks for a moment before telling him if he ever changes his mind, to head over to the 9th alley over there; tells him his brother (Jacob) is the boss and if ivan asks nicely they’ll find him a place to sleep

Ivan’s only question is whether or not they have food, to which isaac responds yes, if you’re useful. he tells him he’s scrawny now but if he bulks up, he could be handy

now, ivan attempts to bargain 😭

ivan tells him if he gives him one more piece of food, he’ll think about it and if he gives him another piece of food, he’ll go right now; isaac is taken aback but agrees to give him one more

after that, isaac excuses himself and thanks ivan for letting them warm up by the fire, and that he hopes to meet again sometime; while ivan off to the side is thinking ‘I didn’t say I was going yet’

There’s two more slides of Ivan, mostly a blank expression while he’s eating before he says ‘still, they said they’d give me food so maybe I’ll go’

that’s the end of the flashback, and in present time, ivan tells till he’s pretty sure he got caught soon right after he left because he ‘got too comfortable with a full belly’ and let his guard down. he ends it with saying ‘anyways, i was useful’ while giving a smile. the comic ends there.

well…

it’s clear when ivan meant to escape with till, he had an actual plan in mind instead of figuring things as they went and getting caught as tons of people assumed; he was definitely going to head to the rebel base and seek refuge there with till if they hadn’t gone back to Anakt

it’s a very sad comic 😭😭😭😭

[sgiandubh]

Just one more question then. T was already a partner/director in two of C's companies, three if you count the Irish one. This movement for the others happened immediately after the end, for good, of the OL recordings. Of course, there are still publicity commitments, but why choose this moment to bring him on board? In fact, two questions then: Is Cait part of any of T's other companies? I imagine that some are still functional, since he keeps them active. Thank you for your time

Dear Two Questions Anon,

Before anything else: there is not one, but two Irish companies. I am formal on this point and I have discussed it before. Well, sort of -lest you would think I am foolish enough to favor cheap bravery and take inconsiderate risks. I don't know if you already figured it out, I am always waiting for the shite to hit the fan across the street: these people are very predictable and it never disappoints, because even if they do have the paperwork (no NASA secrets, either), they have no clue about the proper way to understand and interpret what they read and always get in a vortex of sorts. It is not this blogger's editorial choice to bring these topics forth.

Your first question is a resounding and very rhetorical why. Your guess is as good as mine, Anon and I really do believe it would be wiser not to push your luck. While I do have a point, I feel you are clever enough to think by yourself, too.

Regarding the second question, as per the Companies' House available public documents, there is one Anthony Gerard McGill and one Anthony McGill. Both are, in fact, the same person. I am mercifully not going to discuss Gerard's string of failed entrepreneurial adventures.

The First Siamese Twin, Anthony Gerard McGill currently holds 5 different company officer appointments. If you take away the three companies that are owned in reality by Mrs. CMB only (see my recent posts on the Persons with Significant Control in a company), you will find two more companies. Both are breathing clones of the Business Ghosts of Christmases Past:

Who runs the shop?

Ma:

'Imself:

Da:

Bro (🦷):

Most importantly, perhaps: who really owns the shop?

Surprise 😮?

Family business. I see no trace of C, here. Which really, is perhaps wiser: the Firm is not exactly doing great.

Fair enough. Onwards to...

'Confirmation statement overdue'...oh, the nostalgia...

Who runs the shop (oh, well - 'runs')?

Ma & 'Imself only:

Where on Earth is Caitriona Sandiego? Well, apparently not in Bristol.

Who owns the shop?

'Imself:

Again, nothing to write home about:

The Second Siamese Twin, Anthony McGill is perhaps less active: only one appointment.

Who runs the shop?

Again, Ma and 'Imself:

Who owns the shop?

No C here, either. Not even remotely. That being said, the bulk of his visible, traceable funds is placed here:

Therefore, the answer to your second question is no. Make of it what you wish, Anon. Thank you for your patience and civility.

[myloveonherknees]

pinned post! information about this blog below the cut ♡

about this blog

i've been looking through the wayback machine to see what's been captured from hayden's – of ethel cain fame for the uninitiated – old social media accounts, and i found a lot of stuff i hadn't seen floating around elsewhere. i started posting some of those finds here (and on pintrest, but i have definitely fallen off updating it). as of now, i post most of the things i find with the ultimate goal of creating an archive.

the bulk of content on this blog came from searching captures of hayden's twitter account from the beginning of the ethel cain project through to when it was deactivated in 2023. once i'm through with twitter, i'll be posting more content from other platforms.

here's an ask where i explain how i find this stuff.

p.s. i continually edit this pinned post. just letting you know that it changes over time!

navigating this blog

navigate chronologically & tag list

photos from the same day will be tagged with the date they were posted in yyyy/mm/dd format (i am not american)

i've been including a link to the corresponding internet archive capture in all my posts. you'll get there by clicking "twitter" in the caption (or by clicking the date, i switched this up midway through posting)

misc

please be normal ♡ (i.e. don't be a bigot, idc about your negative feelings about hayden/ethel cain, etc. i will block you)

related to the above, if you see someone using the reblogs as a platform for their bigotry that i seem to have missed, please feel free to DM me/bring it to my attention in some way.

removal – i'm happy to remove things for a variety of reasons, please just send me a DM! i.e. happy to take down something that belongs to you, a photo that includes you or that was taken by you, mentions of your name or your blog, etc.

crediting – these photos aren't meaningfully mine. they belong to hayden (and/or her photographers where applicable), i've just found them somewhere relatively hidden and posted them to be more widely available. i'd appreciate it if you didn't lift my posts word for word, but aside from that it's chill.

i'm only posting these things here on tumblr and on my pintrest (linked below). accounts on other platforms making similar posts are not me.

this is a side blog – most of the functionality is the same as a regular blog, but i'm unable to follow anyone! i'm also prone to accidentally switching up my blogs, which could manifest in accidental reblogs (i'll delete them when i catch them), responses from the wrong blog (unsure if i can fix that one), and similar.

i almost exclusively queue things, so posting doesn't necessarily mean i'm online!

links

frequently asked questions

gaza evacuation funds

main blog (mobile link / desktop link)

pintrest

that's all, folks! big love to you, fellow daughters of cain ♡

[ts3-rauh]

Requests and commissions

My page started to grow (and thanks to all of you, I love you folks, you flatter me <3) and I got asked about taking commissions, so I had to think how I would want to approach it

Untill now I did conversions only when I felt like it and what I will use in my personal save, so basically I just shared what I did for myself and I still have a table of personal plans, but now I understand that eventually people will want me to convert something specific before the queue, which probably I on my own will convert years later if not never, ignoring it for the reason "I don't see my sims wearing it".

I am not here to monetize of the work and creative labour of others, so the only way i see it justified - if you SUPPORT CREATORS OF ORIGINAL MODELS, and If you want to commision me - after I confirm I can do it - I will ASK FOR PROOF, for example, screenshots of donating to creator's ko-fi, patreon paid level of subscription etc. and after that you are free to decide what tip you would like to leave me for my part in bringing asked cc to The Sims 3.

Details:

COMMISSIONS:

Note that my main purpose is to support The Sims 3 community in general, so commisioned cc will be posted on my page free to download and use for everyone

What I do and don't do

I specialize in hair convertions from TS4, mainly clayfied

2. Some creators don't allow conversions and I will not go behind their back for it.

3. I don't convert cc created by citizens of the country that is destroying mine.

4. A few clayfied hairs may look bad in TS3 sharp lighting, so I will tell about it, but will complete conversion if you are okay with how it looks, cause maybe it's just my brain shinanigans

5. I don't know yet how to convert from other games and I don't do hairs higher that 20k poly for several reasons:

-It doesn't belong in sims, I don't want to be responsible for someone's GPU shortening it's life-span and lags/freezes/crushes

-TSRW on my computer screams and dies when I try to put anything too high poly for the game here

BUT I can try to lower polycount for asked high poly hairstyle and manage to do conversion. It's just I can not guarantee the result, all will depend on how given hair will cooperate (sometimes I can just lower poly density, sometimes I have to delete some hair strands and there is no other way around) and how my TSRW will react to it.

Quantity

For bulks I for now will start with up to 5 in one go to not become overwhelmed, since my perfectionism makes the process very time consuming.

Time

The perfectionism, yeah. One complex (in mapping, has nothing to do with appearance) hairstyle for both genders and different age groups can take me up to two days. But why so long?

-Sometimes I add chunks of undersides

-Manually rig hair longer than shoulders for smooth movement

-Make ALL LODs, icluding the last one, and each is different for game optimization (except for my earliest conversions, for every cc I do LOD0 and LOD1 are also different)

-Make a lot of adjustments in general

Price

Just how you feel about it to make me and original creator happier :D

My ko-fi

REQUESTS:

I can take request on bone fixing/optimizing LODs/ age-gender conversions on already converted hairstyles if I'm free. I don't do control mapping requests because it's the most tedious and time consuming part of clayfied conversions

[bubblef1zz]

Hey, and welcome to a bubblef1zz post. Let's talk about ways you can cope or try to heighten communication between your parts. A lot of these are commonly said, so sorry about that!!

Leaving notes

Leaving notes around! I personally bought a bulk load of flashcards to jot down important information. For example, a flashcard of mine can say ‘my turn to do the dishes’ with the date written on it. Or it can say ‘had to throw out chicken; it went bad’. I've also found affirmation cards, parts making themselves known to me, and such! These notes can also be done virtually in note apps.

Adding on!! There's also whiteboards and corkboards if you want to leave more external notes that aren't on flashcards. That way, you can simply erase something when it's over with.

Using chat apps

What do I mean by this? Many of you may know that Simply Plural (an app for system tracking) also has the option of a chat space, where alters can communicate. Of course, you're not limited to SP! I know many use Discord (private servers that may or may not have proxy bots), fake text conversation apps, ANTAR, and so, so many more like it! I'll be putting this here under this category, but I've found that my blogs have helped me understand the views my parts have and even what they seem to like to talk about.

Art/Images

This may be a strange one, but pictures! Communication through pictures can be helpful. For example, sometimes to show what I've eaten I'll take a picture and upload it privately somewhere so the time and date is noted clearly.

Journaling

Similar to taking notes; journaling! Starting a journal to jot down how your day has been, what happened, and such is a great way to help with amnesia and communication.

Thank you for reading — 𐔌 💌🫧 𐦯

I hope this helps!!

[oceanicjessie]

I know I've been radio silent for a while. Sorry for that! I have been dealing with a spout of hard creative burnout, which made drawing and writing just a pain, but I think it's finally clearing up. I have or am starting a brand new fic, though I don't expect it to be even close to the length of YGBTFTS. Though it is not Scream-related, it is Fallout-related, so I will not talk much about it. But if you are interested in the Fallout TV show, feel free to check it out on my AO3 account. Anyway, back to the stuff you actually care about and why I am making this post in the first place!!

After over a month, I have finally gotten the first draft of the very last chapter for YGBTFTS written up. I only need to bulk it up, edit, proof-read, and send it off for beta reading, and BOOM, I will finally be done! This fic has taken me from early to mid-December to finish, and I couldn't be prouder of myself for finishing it. This is the first time I've committed to something that I have gone out of my way to finish, and I can't thank every single person who has supported me enough for leaving a kudo or a comment on the fic or just showing love in general! I am just overwhelmed in general by everything this fic has brought me, and I can't wait to start something new and continue to build a community here! Anyways, the chapter will still need some time in the oven, but I promise you all that the chapter is worth the wait, and I can't wait to show it to you all! || On a completely unrelated note, a very good friend of mine, @kikiteaa, created this simply amazing piece for me ( all credit of the art shown in this post goes to them!! ), and I absolutely want every single person to see it! Please go follow and support them, as their art is just so good! <3 <3

( Yes the irony of having kikiteas art share a post related to my fic is not lost on me. But they both are on the same level of dopamine hit soooo give and take. )

[eirist]

Little Bits and Pieces of Heaven

DEVIL WOMAN

One-shot #: 38

Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

Warning: OOC possible. One shot.

Rating: T (Just some reeeally slight teasing & uh, flirting?)

Note: Late for Halloween but I still want to post something after being absent for long! I missed my babies! Enjoy this quick one-shot and happy Halloween everyone, belatedly!

Summary: His amusement at her expense was obliterated in an instant. And even in the darkened crow’s nest Nami eyes caught the way Zoro’s jaw clenched at that.

“Trick or treat?”

A blank look followed by one eyebrow rising up in question, then the sound of a rather exasperated intake of breath met her question.

“Well?” Nami prompted the figure in front of her to answer. Perched on the opening of the crow’s nest with both arms resting on the metal floor, she patiently (and cheekily) waited.

“Tch,” was the first thing that came out of Zoro’s mouth before it was covered by the rim of the booze bottle he was drinking from.

“None.” He finally uttered out before taking another swig of his drink.

A pout appeared on Nami’s lips. “Spoilsport,” she remarked as she pushed herself up and into the crow’s nest. She glanced around quickly, brows furrowing when she took in the fact that the lights were off and the green-haired man seems to be… just chilling in the dark.

“Why are you sitting here in the dark?” She can’t help but ask, a frown now pulling her lips down.

“Sets the mood.”

“Huh?” It was Nami’s turn to stare at him blankly. Well… his idea of fun does differ from hers. She shouldn’t be surprised at all.

The navigator had just returned on the ship straight from the party that was currently taking place in town center. The island where they docked have this festival where everyone was loitering to and fro, down the streets, wearing costumes of some sorts and knocking on all the house doors saying ‘trick or treat’ while holding a hollowed pumpkin head to be filled  treats and sweets.

Imagine the excitement it brought to their captain, Usopp and Chopper, especially when they found out from Robin that all the houses are obliged to give out confectioneries to those who will come a-knocking.

But Nami was more interested in donning a costume and frolicking in town to hunt for chumps she can easily take advantage of. Just imagine the belis she can rake and take home with her charms and assets in full force.

That was what this trick or treating is for her. Tricking the others so she can treat herself.

Deciding to go all out with a cheeky but sexy devil costume—complete with wings, cute horns, tail and all—she forgo the usual red ensemble and went for a black one for a more mysterious and alluring effect (Robin’s words and Nami definitely agrees), she headed out with her equally enthusiastic crewmates to the town to have a good trick or treating time.

Now she’s back at the Thousand Sunny because her scheme tonight turned out really successful that she had to deposit the bulk of her loot in the treasure chest in her room.

And it’s not even midnight!

She knew Zoro was on guard duty. The ever lazy swordsman had refrained from joining whatever craziness they planned on doing and instead decided for a more boring way to spend the rest of the night.

Namely stay up in the nest, in the dark and drink some booze before conking out.

That’s why Nami decided to climb up the nest to check on him, see if he’s sleeping his stupid ass off while on the job so she can berate him. Heaven knows she needs some sort of stimulant from all that lackluster interactions she has had so she can pick some pockets.

“Hhmm… well you seem to be… enjoying your night?” She asked in an overly sweet yet tinge with sarcasm tone, absolutely loving the way a scowl was starting to appear on Zoro’s face.

“I was,” was his curt reply as he eyed her disdainfully.

Nami’s insides fluttered in pleasure as she chortled. Look how irritated he was with her presence. She smiled in a sickeningly sweet way at him, letting him know that she is aware that he is annoyed that his quiet time was disturb… by her… of all people.

Recently, she had developed this habit of teasing him more than the usual. And not just the kind of teasing that often leads to the two of them bickering and shouting.

It was more… low-key. And feels kind of exclusive in a way that only the two of them knows what is happening. Like a secret language that only the two of them are privy to.

If Nami were to be honest, it’s teasing that is definitely crossing the line of flirting.

And she never passes on the opportunity to test that theory whenever she chance upon it.

Because in a very weird turn of events, Zoro seemed to tolerate it… and was actually reciprocating (this is just her assumption) in his own unrefined way.

Plus it also delights her so much when he gets irked at her antics but he never tries to stop her or even shut her down when they both knew he can.  

You could almost say that her assumptions were right on their marks.

She heard him clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth when she decided to approach him. Zoro was sitting on the nest’s floor, his back against the nest’s wooden bench. His white t-shirt was on the floor, along with his haramaki and katanas. She surmised that he probably did some training earlier and was now enjoying a drink as his downtime.

Just to spite him some more tonight, Nami plopped herself down beside him. She wanted to see what if she was right. See if Zoro will just put up with her presence and not send her down the nest so he could enjoy his solitude.

The black wing of her costume almost poked him in the face accidentally and he swatted it with his hand.

“You could blind someone with that,” he complained as he flicked the wing’s sharp edge.

Nami just gave him a toothy grin before retorting.

“Well I’ve got nothing to worry about,” she gestured at his left eye, childishly sticking her tongue out at him.

Zoro just scoffed. “You just can’t leave me in peace?”

A cackle escaped her.  “Your life is boring as it is. You need me to spice it up.”

He snorted at that before taking a drink again.

Nami waited for a beat and fought a smile from appearing when Zoro did not bother complaining anymore nor and grumble incessantly about her leaving him alone.

“Why are you here in the dark?” She finally asked again, this time really wanting to satisfy her curiosity. They were sitting shoulder to shoulder, so close enough that she can feel that distinct coolness his skin takes on after sweating, a sure indication that he did work out while left alone in the ship.

“What’s it to you?” He drawled as he held up the bottle he was drinking from to his eye level, checking to see how much is left before he move to the next one.

“Tch,” Nami sighed. “Don’t be difficult.”

His skin rubbed softly against her when he took a deep breath, the sensation sending sparks

under and over her own, making their way up her neck and Nami fought the urge to shudder when she felt her cheeks grow warm.

“Told you it sets the mood,” he repeated what he said earlier. “For some quiet.”

Nami nodded, understanding his need for it since he meditates after his work-outs.

“Plus,” Zoro tipped the bottle towards the windows in front of them, gesturing for her to take a look. “You can’t appreciate all that with the lights on.”

Nami’s shifted her gaze to where he indicated. Her eyes widened when she realized that the crow’s nest have a great vantage point of the island’s curving end against the star splattered sky.

“Oh,” she murmured softly before pushing herself up to get closer to the window. Kneeling on the bench under it, she took in the breath-taking view before her. There were dozens of tiny lights sprinkled randomly against the island’s shadowy profile. They sparkled and hovered randomly but that didn’t undermine the beauty of the night sky, it heightened it some more.

Everything just looked like thousand sparkling jewels. Glittering. Twinkling.

So that is what Zoro was enjoying alone in the crows’ nest, post-work out and with a drink?

She got to hand it to him… he knows how to really relax his lazy ass.

And also appreciate a beautiful sight. Now that was surprising.

Nami turned her head towards him and watched as he guzzled out the remaining alcohol in his bottle.

Then he suddenly barked out a laugh that Nami thought sounded somehow… condescending.

He grinned amusedly when he saw her looking at him. “Suits you.” He suddenly commented out of the blue.

“What?” Nami narrowed her eyes at him. She raised an eyebrow, already getting a hint that she is not going to like the point he was about to drive home.

“What you’re wearing,” Zoro pointed at her. “It suits you. Horns, tail and all.”

The orange-haired woman stared at him. Really stared at him like he had grown three heads. Did Zoro mean he liked…

Oh drat. He was probably making fun of how the devil costume suited her personality perfectly. Wasn’t he always saying, she’s gonna end up in hell even if he needs to drag her there?

A vein ticked on her forehead. And she seriously contemplated of poking him with her tail or her horn.

But she was still reeling from the tranquil view she was looking at and Nami decided that violence is not the answer tonight.

“Hmmm…” she hummed with a playful flick of her long hair. She deliberately tossed Zoro a seductive look. “Of course it suits me.”

“After all, hell needs to have someone beautiful in it if you’re gonna rule it.” Nami declared sassily before throwing him a kiss.

His amusement at her expense was obliterated in an instant. And even in the darkened crow’s nest Nami eyes caught the way Zoro’s jaw clenched at that.

The navigator smirked. Oh she won this round. Easy, peasy.

But the stubborn swordsman still have one last fight in him.

“You could’ve also gone for a witch,” Zoro tried to recover, folding his arms over his chest, trying to save face and save his pride. “That suits you even better. Witch!” He sneered at the thrown insult he always uses for her.

“Ah, ah, ah.” Nami wagged a finger at him. She got off the bench and sauntered back to him. Her steps light… almost like she’s bouncing in glee.

She stopped just right in front of Zoro, mischievously looking down on him.

“Stop before you hurt yourself some more,” she impishly advised knowing the green-haired man will still try to take her on the battle of wills and words.

Zoro drew back a little and eyed her suspiciously. Nami leaned down, bringing her face closer to his, one finger sliding under his chin, to tilt his head up some more so they could look at each other eye to eye. Her lips almost touching his, he can feel them as they move.

“Besides who better to accompany the king of hell than the devil herself?"