#i let stuff rot in my docs and that blog

[krissiedeathyart]

August 15 2022 Diamond

Blogger version

“Did she answer the phone?” Sonia asked as she turned at the red light. 

“No.” Blaze shook her head. 

Cream pouted as she stared at her phone. “Amy wouldn’t just move and not tell us right?” The teen hugged Cheese tightly to her chest.

“I doubt it.” Rouge stated with confidence. Amy Rose was 25. She moved to Mercia permanently when she turned 21. She always made an effort to call though. At least until last year. Now getting a hold of the pink hedgehog was difficult. Almost as hard as getting a hold of Shadow during his off time. “I’m sure she’ll love a surprise shopping trip.” Rouge assured Cream.

Cream gave her a soft smile and a nod. 

“Well her house looks the same!” Sonia chuckled as she parked in the driveway. The four women got out of the car and walked up a porch. The swing squeaked slightly in the breeze. Sonia knocked on the door. “Amy, it’s Sonia, Rouge, Blaze, and Cream.” She called.

The ladies smiled as they heard movement. It took a few minutes before Amy opened the door. She was wearing a white tank top and black sweatpants. There were traces of glitter all over her body. In her arms was a small toddler with white fur also with traces of glitter. They stared with bright purple eyes. “Hey guys?” Amy looked confused. “What brings you by.” She opened the door wider for them to come in.

“We wanted to take you shopping with us.” Rouge stated as she sauntered in. “But it seems you're babysitting at the moment. When will the folks be back?

Amy bit her lip as she held the child closer. “He’s mine. I adopted him.”

All four of the girls halted in the doorway.

“Amy, you adopted a kid?” Blaze asked to confirm. 

“Yes,” Amy nodded, “I’ll make tea and we can go over the specifics.” Amy closed the door.

Blaze felt the need to talk this one out. But it had been too long since they had talk. 

“Amy, you’re 25 and unmarried,” Sonia stated, “How did you get approval to adopt a toddler?”

Amy sighed as she filled a kettle. “Forgive the mess,” She placed the kettle on the stove. “Sit wherever you like.”

“Congratulations!” Cream beamed. Amy gave her a soft smile as she put the toddler in a wooden highchair with chao carved on it. 

“Everyone, this is Diamond. Diamond, this is Sonia, Rouge, Blaze, Cream, and Cheese.” Amy smiled. Diamond nodded as he gave a soft wave. Amy pulled out a teacup set for each person. “Does anyone have a preference for tea?” There was a hum as Amy nodded to everyone stating they were cool with anything. Amy scooped up tea leaves into metal infusers with a chain and different critters at the end. “Sorry I didn’t answer the phone. The landline is dead and my cell is broken.” Amy lined the cups up as the kettle whistled. She poured the cups carefully. She placed them carefully in front of each person. Cream got a chao. Cheese got a flower. Diamond got a chao. Sonia got a green flicky. Blaze got a flower. Rouge got a green emerald. Amy got a blue flicky.

“So how has everyone been?” Amy smiled as she carefully put an icecube in Diamond’s cup. 

“I’ve been well,” Cream smiled, “Mom and Mr Vector are dating and it’s going well.”

“That’s good.” Amy smiled. “Are you and Vector getting along?”

“Yep!” Cream nodded.

“That’s good.” Amy nodded. “So what about the rest of you guys?”

“Same old, same old.” Rouge shrugged, “Though Shadow is retiring from Gun. So he’ll be even harder to find once he does. The grump.”

Amy chuckled. “I’m sure he’ll make an effort to visit. On his terms though.”

“So…” Sonia tapped her fingers on the table as she looked between Amy and the child. 

“What made you decide to adopt?”

“Diamond traveled through time through the master emerald in his time. However, he’s too young to know what year he’s from. Silver looked into it and thinks he exists outside the timeline because he couldn't find him in any of our approximated years for him. The Mercian government didn’t like the idea of just putting him in the system and Gun was out of the question. So was sending him to live with his biological relatives in this time.” Amy stated matter of factly as she sipped her tea. 

“Is there something wrong with his bio family?” Blaze asked.

“According to Diamond, his sister was the guardian of the Master emerald.” Amy stated as she tucked a quill out of her face. “That means he’s related to Knuckles. And well Knuckles lives on an island with no qualifications or experience for the Merican government to just hand him a kid.”

“Plus Knuckles doesn’t like little kids currently.” Diamond spoked as he held his cup with two hands.

“Since I’m a merican citizen with the proper certs. I was brought into discuss and agreed to be his guardian.” 

“Makes sense,” Rouge nodded. The merican government didn’t trust GUN within arm's lengths. The peace negotiations was still a teeter totter between the two. “Was Knuckles informed.”

“Honestly, we weren’t planning on informing anyone unless asked. Plus, Diamond isn’t old enough to travel by plane. So no leaving Mercia.”

Diamond held up two fingers. “I get my last two shots in a few days.”

“That’s right!” Amy beamed as she held the tiny echidna’s hand. “And if you’re good, you’ll get a treat.” 

Diamond giggled. 

“So you guys are going shopping,” Amy stated more than asked, “What stores are you thinking about going to?”

“There’s Starhill Mall.” Sonia smiled. “We were thinking there. But I don’t have enough room in my car for all of us.”

Amy nodded. “I can drive Diamond in my car. We can meet you there.”

“Sounds great!” Cream beamed.

“I call riding with you!” Rouge smirked.

Amy nodded as she rinsed her and Diamond’s cup before putting them in the dishwasher. “It’ll take a few minutes for Diamond and I to get ready.”

“We can wait,” Sonia assured.

Amy nodded as she picked Diamond up from his high chair. Diamond nuzzled into the crook of her neck. Amy rubbed his back as she walked upstairs.

She opened the drawer of his dresser. “What do you want to wear for our outing today?”

“Can I wear the hat?” Diamond asked softly. 

“Sure,” Amy grabbed the cowboy hat with big buttons on it. Diamond wiggled out of Amy’s grasp to grab a pair of jeans, brown boots, and a button up flannel shirt. 

Amy chuckled. Diamond was very opinionated on his clothing choices. He also had a good sense of how to match. Amy helped the toddler change. 

Diamond skipped out of the room.

“Wait down stairs while I change.” Amy hummed as she watched him carefully walk down the stairs.

“Kay!” He called. He paused midstep, “Can I write the note letting Uncle know where we’re going?”

“Sure. Notepad is on the fridge.” Amy nodded before entering her room. 

Diamond beamed as he entered the kitchen. “I’m dressed!” He did a twirl for them before going to the fridge. He pulled an orange stool decorated with sunflowers over so he could stand on it. He pulled down a dry erase board on the fridge and grabbed the expo marker on top. 

“So,” Rouge went into snooping mode. “What is your uncle like?”

“Uncle Shadow is very nice!” Diamond beamed as he used a magnet to keep his lines straight. 

“Oh.” Rouge blinked. Shadow hadn’t mentioned visiting Amy to her. Though she wasn’t that surprised. Shadow’s crush on Amy wasn’t exactly a secret. No one ever spoke about it for fear of a chaos spear to the face. So he was over here playing house? Rouge made a note to tease the hedgehog later. 

“What kind of things do you do when Shadow visits?” Blaze probed further. 

“We garden. Shadow let’s me build him a pillow fort to nap in. Shadow says if I’m good for my next set of shots, he’ll take me to a petting zoo. You can pet sheep there!” Diamond beamed as he wrote the note. He was taking his time with those letters.

“Does Shadow sleep over often?” Cream asked as Diamond finished the note. 

“Lots when he doesn’t have work. Aunt Amy turned the guest room into his room.” Diamond hummed as he put the stool back. 

The four girls shared a knowing look. Cream tapped the rim of her glass as she watched Diamond climb into Amy’s empty chair. 

“Does he sleep in his room often?” Cream dared to ask as all the girls stared at the teen with shock. 

Diamond thought for a moment, “Not all the time. Most of the time, I find him asleep on the couch or the swing in the backyard. I don’t get the couch, but the swing is very comfy.”

Cream nodded. “That’s good. Mr. Shadow has always been good with kids. Has he cooked for you yet?”

Diamond nodded happily. “Uncle Shadow cooks lots when he visits. He said on the next Tuesday he visits, he’ll make me tacos since I haven’t had them before.”

“Ooh! I hope you like them,” Cream beamed. “They’re very yummy.”

“I’m looking forward to it!” Diamond swung his feet back and forth. 

“I’m dressed and ready!” Amy announced as she walked into her kitchen checking her bag. Wallet? Check. Keys? Check. She wore a button up white blouse with yellow flowers. Blue jeans and a pair of magenta shoes. “Did you all have a nice chat?” Amy pulled out a water bottle from the fridge and tossed it into the bag. 

“I got interrogated! But I did very well I think.” Diamond beamed at him. 

Amy chuckled as she checked the note on the fridge. She ruffled the toddler’s quills as she picked him up. “Shadow taught you what an interrogation is?” Diamond nodded as he giggled. 

Rouge sat in the passenger seat of Amy’s convertible. Diamond sat snug in his booster playing with small stuffed animals. 

“So, what did you guys ask Diamond about?” Amy mused as she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel.

“He mentioned ‘uncle’ Shadow,” Rouge made air quotes. “Given that the grump is hard to find when he’s not working at Gun, we grew curious.” 

Amy let out a bark of laughter. “Of Course. So you have a whole car ride to question me. Shoot.”

Rouge hummed as she thought of the best opener. While it was obvious Shadow had it bad for Amy. Amy was happy and loving with everyone. She got over her crush for Sonic when she turned 16. But the love obsessed hedgehog had yet to go back into the dating scene. “Shadow hasn’t been teaching the kiddo anything weird, has he?”

Amy giggled, “Not really. He keeps trying to get him a pet. We haven’t had any major fights recently.”

“So… how long has Shadow known about the kid?”

“A few days after I was notified. He was visiting.” Amy responded. 

“Hmm…” Rouge thought for a long moment. “So does he babysit when you go on dates?”

Amy gave Rouge a questioning look before turning back to the road. There was a long pause as Rouge waited for Amy to answer. 

“So…” Amy held out the Os. Rouge gave a glare. If this woman even had the gaul to change the subject. “Shadow hasn’t told you.” 

Rouge tilted her head. “One, don’t change the subject. Two, what hasn’t he told me.”

Amy chuckled. Rouge wasn’t the kind of woman to let secrets slip past her. “Shadow and I have been dating for a while now.” Amy stated before looking in the mirror at Diamond. “As for babysitters. We just take Diamond with us. Though my neighbor will take him for an hour or two if she’s in town.”

Rouge sat in shock. “That secretive…” She hissed. “Why wasn’t I told? How long?” Rouge let a long string of questions flow out.

Amy continued to laugh as she put her car into park next to Sonia’s car. “Shadow said he would tell you. When he was ready. And if you heard it from someone other than us that would be bad.” Amy got out of her car.

“But you didn’t tell me? Or hint at it!” Rouge yelled.

“What’s going on?” Blaze asked in her neutral tone. 

“Amy and Shadow are dating! And I need a how long, Missy.” Rouge stomped her foot. 

Amy continued to laugh at Rouge’s outburst. She unbuckled Diamond and juggled him as she grabbed his diaper bag and her purse. “Shadow said he wanted to tell you himself.”

“How long have you been dating?” Sonia asked. If Amy let it slip, a while had to be at least 6 months.

“Four years on Sunday.” Diamond answered as Amy pulled a stroller out of the trunk. Blaze moving in to help. “I read it on the calendar.”

“Thank you Diamond.” Cream smiled as she helped put the bags in the bottom of the stroller. “You’re very good at reading.”

“I practice lots.” Diamond beamed in pride as Amy took him from Blaze’s arms to buckle him into the stroller. 

“Four years. That’s a long time.” Sonia hummed.

“Shadow is going to hear an earful from me.” Rouge stated as she typed on her phone.

“Cool.” Amy nodded. “Let him know they won’t fix my home phone line until tomorrow please.” Amy handed Diamond a plush chicken.

Rouge nodded. “Who’s going to watch Diamond while you celebrate?”

“He’ll be with us. We’re just having dinner.” Amy stated as they began walking to the entrance. 

“Amy,” Cream shook her head. The teen rabbit leaned into Amy’s ear and whispered, “What if you and Shadow want to get sexual?”

“CREAM!” Amy flushed as she turned a bright red. “What happened to the sweet angel?” Amy muttered as she stared at the ground.

“I took health class.” Cream stated simply.

“You said your neighbor sometimes watches him. Can they babysit that night?” Rouge suggested. 

Amy shrugged, “Maria comes and goes as she pleases. Since my phones are broken, I don’t know where she is. I got a postcard from Spagonia yesterday.”

“Maria? As in Shadow’s sister?” Sonia hummed as she had met the blond before. She was an ultimate lifeform that Gerald made and uploaded all of Maria’s memories into her. She seemed to love exploring and being a tourist.

Amy nodded, “Yeah. Though she isn’t home often. I joke that her house might become a museum.” 

Sonia pulled out her phone. “I have her number. If she’s cool with it, I’ll watch Diamond at her place. I don’t mind watching him for a day or two.”

Amy frowned a bit. “I’m not so sure.” She looked at the white echidna in the stroller. Diamond looked up at Amy with big purple eyes. 

“Oh come on, it’ll only be a night or two.” Sonia smiled. “I am mature enough to watch and care for him.”

“A night or two?” Amy gasped. “Diamond has never been away from me for more than three hours at most.” 

Diamond looked at Sonia. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the magenta hedgehog yet. But being a little sneaky wouldn’t hurt. “Can I bring my blanket to the sleepover?”

“Diamond, sweetie, we haven’t agreed for you to sleep over.” Amy stated.

Diamond smiled at her, “I’ll be a big boy and well behaved.”

“You’re always well behaved.” Amy assured. 

“Let’s get along super well so Amy is comfortable with you having a sleepover.” Sonia beamed at the boy. His eyes lit up as he gave a nod. 

Shadow glared at his ringing phone. He was waist deep in paperwork and it seemed someone wanted to bug him senseless. Luckily he was sitting at his desk in his room at the apartment. At first he tried to ignore the phone, but the messages kept pouring in.

He picked up the phone and glared at the messages. Rouge… of course. It was always Rouge blowing  up his phone. “Shit.” He hissed as he read, “4 YEARS?!” in all caps. He skimmed her previous messages. She was at Rose’s place. Shadow sighed. He needed to handle this paperwork for Gun today. 

He switched his phone to silent and was about to put his phone away when a text came through. He growled as he pressed the call button.

Rouge paused as her phone rang. The girls were looking at dresses as Diamond spoke about the shiny things on the dresses. “Hello Romeo,” Rouge purred in her signature tone. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“No.” Came the simple response.

“No to what?” Rouge asked.

“Sonia is NOT watching the boy.” Shadow was firm. 

“Why not?” Rouge questioned as she listened to Shadow type on a keyboard.

“Diamond is a small child! A baby,” Shadow ranted. “Spending a night away from Rose, his guardian, will be too much for him. And Sonia doesn’t care for kids much. Does she know how to change a diaper? How to cook food he can eat? Does she even know basic CPR? First aid?”

“Whew…” Rouge sighed. She didn’t think the ebony hedgehog would be so overprotective of a tiny child. But she wasn’t too surprised. “Shadow, it will only be one night. Maybe two.”

“I can watch him if you’re wanting to take Rose for a girls weekend,” Shadow stated.

“One. You know how to change a diaper? And two, it’s so you two, who have been dating for four years without telling anyone, can celebrate your anniversary,” Rouge shot back. 

“One. yes I do. I also know CPR and first aid. And two, Diamond can stay with us.”

“Shadow…” Rouge rubbed her temple. 

“Let me tell him please?” Cream held out her hand with the sweet smile of an angel. Rouge smiled as she handed her the cellphone. “Hi Mr. Shadow,” Cream greeted with a voice dripping in sweet sugar. “It’s Cream.” She took a couple of steps away from the group as she spoke softly into the phone. “Look, it’s your four year anniversary right?” 

There was a pause. 

“Correct. I’m glad we agree on that point.” Cream nodded at whatever Shadow said on the other end. “Now, you two will be on high due to celebrating four years together. Sure Diamond can have dinner with you, but what about after dinner? At bedtime. If you and Amy have sex, what if Diamond wakes up and hears? He’s a toddler. He’ll have questions. Even more so if he explores and catches you two in the act. One trauma. Two, neither of you want to answer those questions. So you should let Diamond have a sleepover. If you don’t trust Sonia. I’ll babysit him. I’m great with people.” Cream bit her lip to hold back her laugh. “I went to health class.” The rabbit handed Rouge the phone.

“How was your chat?” Rouge mused.

“What happened to the sweet little angel…” Shadow sputtered. 

“Health class. Puberty.” Rouge listed. “You know the usual growing up stuff.”

“I am not a fan of her bringing up anything to do with reproductive processes.” 

Rouge chuckled as she glanced at the jewelry. “Just think about it while you finish your paperwork.”

Shadow sighed in defeat. A rarity for him. “I’ll discuss it with Rose later.” 

Rouge put her phone away at the click. Shadow needed to learn how to say goodbye. Rouge found Diamond staring at the earring stands. “See something you like?

Diamond nodded as he pointed at the pink rose studs. “I really like those.” 

Rouge nodded as she took him out of the stroller to get a closer look. “What do you like about them?”

Diamond smiled in a way normally seen on old people reminiscing about the past. “Alexander had a pair of hearing aids that looked very similar.” 

Rouge hummed. “What was Alexander?”

“Alexander was a friend. He used to watch me lots. He was super nice. He had a big brother named Charles. He also watched me lots. They taught me some Sign Language. My letters. Lots of stuff. They were very nice.” Diamond glanced down at his hands. “I miss them.”

Rouge nodded as she picked up the studs. “I’ll get these for you then to have something to remember them with.” 

“Really?” Diamond beamed. “Thank you!” He wrapped his arms around Rouge’s neck. 

“What are you two talking about over here?” Amy came over after showing Sonia a cute bracelet.

“I’m going to get these for Diamond.” Rouge showed her the rose stud earrings. “They remind him of a friend, Alexander.” 

Amy nodded. “They’re very nice. But Diamond, these are earrings. And you don’t have ears to pierce.” Amy explained. “I guess we can pin them to one of your bags.”

Diamond nodded, “Can I put them on the plush hedgehog Uncle Shadow gave me?”

Amy smiled, “Sure. So long as you’re careful not to stick yourself with them.” 

“Thank you!” Diamond beamed.

Rouge smiled as she handed the kid to Amy. “Aren’t you two a cute little family.” 

“Thanks,” Amy chuckled. “Is there anything else you want to get, Diamond?”

Diamond hummed as he thought. “Glitter! We need more for Uncle Shadow’s card.” 

“Card?” Rouge mused.

“For Shadow’s retirement.” Amy answered. 

“Ah…” Rouge smiled as she picked a piece of sparkle art herpes out of Amy’s quills. “Explains all the glitter.”

Amy gave a nervous laugh. “Yeah.” 

The shopping trip had gone nicely. Sonia and Rouge were the queens of shopping as they had several bags. Amy had bought mainly craft supplies and things for Diamond. The girls did get Amy a few new outfits. It helped that Diamond’s cute face was able to help convince Amy to buy an outfit or two for herself.

The group helped carry the bags into the house as Amy carried Diamond. Amy paused in the doorway and bent down to move a pair of Jet shoes over to the side so no one would trip over them.

“Uncle Shadow is home!” Diamond squealed in delight. Amy chuckled as she let go of the boy. Diamond ran into a room that the girls presumed was Shadow’s. They heard happy giggles as Diamond talked his ear off. 

Amy put the diaper bag beside the couch. “You guys want anything for lunch?” She began to help put the bags on the coffee table. “I can make something.” 

“Sounds great. But let’s put up the bags first.” Blaze stated. 

They pulled out the items one by one and put them away. 

“Oh these are cute.” Cream smiled at the rose stud earrings. “They fit your name perfectly. Though they’re a similar pink to your fur so they won’t be noticeable.”

“I bought those for Diamond. They reminded him of his friend, Alexander.” Rouge stated. 

“Whose Alexander?” Sonia asked Amy. 

Amy gave a soft smile. “ A friend from his original timeline.”

They grew quiet at that. “Must be lonely,” Cream muttered.

“We’ll make do and do the best we can.” Amy stated after a big breath. “Diamond, can you come and put your things away please?”

“Yes!” Diamond exited the room with Shadow. Diamond turned into his room and pulled out a basket with a big plush red animal hedgehog in it. He carefully walked down the steps. Shadow following behind him in silence. 

“Why don’t you carry the tiny tot down the stairs?” Rouge stared at her coworker. 

Shadow looked up at the white bat before turning to Diamond. “He doesn’t like it.”

“No carrying me on stairs!” Diamond stated. “Flat surfaces only!”

“Is that a rule?” Blaze asked, an amused grin on her face.

Diamond nodded. “It’s so important, they made a sign for it.” 

Blaze chuckled as she looked for a sign. “Where is this sign?”

“Aunt Amy doesn’t need one. Charles and Alexander needed it because Uncle Sonic is bad at following rules.” Diamond walked over to the couch. 

“You have an Uncle Sonic?” Sonia tilted her head.

“Back where I’m from originally, yes. He was very silly.” Diamond carefully took the studs and put them in the ears of the plush hedgehog. He took a step back to check that the earrings were symmetrical. He gave a nod of approval. Proud of himself, he spun on his toes to look at Amy. 

Amy patted him on the head as she handed him the clothes they bought for him that day. Diamond carefully put them in the basket and placed his plush hedgehog on top. 

“Your toy looks very cute.” Cream complimented. “Does it have a name?”

Diamond beamed. “His name is Alexander! I named him after my friend since they’re both red hedgehogs. I’ve got one for Charles too.”

Cream smiled, “That sounds lovely. If you don’t mind, when you’re down putting everything away, can you show them to me?”

“I’d love to!” Diamond jumped with joy. He turned to Amy, “Do I get to put up the craft supplies?” 

Amy chuckled as she shook her head. “You, mister, have made a big enough mess with the glitter today.”

Diamond nodded as he grabbed the basket.

“Glitter?” Shadow mused as he followed him.

“It was everywhere.” Diamond giggled, waving an arm out for emphasis. Shadow nodded.

Shadow opened the dresser drawers for the small echidna. “It seems you get along well with Rose’s friends.” Shadow stated as he sat on the twin bed in the room beside the basket. 

Diamond put the plush red hedgehog in Shadow’s arms. He carefully grabbed the first outfit to put in a drawer. “Yep. Ms. Sonia wants to babysit me so you and Aunt Amy can have some alone time for your anniversary.”

“That’s not necessary.” Shadow shot out too fast for his liking. “You can celebrate with us.” 

Diamond giggled as he grabbed the next set of clothes. “You won’t be able to be romantic with me around.” 

Shadow rolled his eyes. “I don’t mind. And neither does Rose. We like having you around. Plus Sonia wants to keep you overnight. You’re too young for that.” 

Diamond smiled at Shadow as he patted the head of the plush. “I’m big enough for a sleepover, Uncle Shadow. I am very close to being fully potty trained. I had no accidents today!”

“That’s good.” Shadow smiled. 

Diamond got on the bed and put a black plush in his lap. He had the black one boop the red one’s nose. “I’ll be okay.” 

“I know that.” Shadow responded.

“And yet me being baby sat for one night is?” Diamond left the question on the air.

Shadow glared at the child sharply. “You’re lucky you’re…”

“Small? Cute?” Diamond smiled as he tilted his head. 

Shadow smirked as he scooped the albino Echidna into his lap. He hugged the child tightly. “You’ve got a smart mouth like Rouge.” 

Diamond giggled. “It was nice meeting her in this timeline.” 

“I’m glad.” Shadow propped his chin on the top of Diamond’s head. “The overnight trip is still a no.” 

Diamond booped Shadow with the black plush hedgehog. “But what if you want to do the ritual dance?”

Shadow pulled back to look the child in the eye. “What ritual dance?”

“The ritual dance.” Diamond stated. “It’s similar to the dance that chao do when they make eggs. But only adult couples can do it.”

“Who told you this?” Shadow frowned.

“Daddy.” Diamond smiled, “I asked once and Omega uses words that are too big.”

Shadow rolled his eyes. 

“Am I not big enough for a little siblings?” Diamond pouted.

Shadow sputtered as he struggled to get air into his lungs. Diamond patted Shadow’s back in a vain attempt to comfort him. “How about a pet?” Shadow offered. “A chao? A cat? A dog? A goat? Maybe a bird? What kind of pet do you want?” 

Diamond frowned. He didn’t get how he was too small for a younger sibling but big enough for a pet. Shadow’s flushed face was a sign for the albino echidna to drop it. “I’ll talk about it with Aunt Amy.” Diamond stated. “But first,” he held up the black plush hedgehog. 

Shadow nodded as he let go of the small echidna. “Fine, go show everyone your toy collection.” 

Diamond giggled as he skipped out of the room.

Shadow rubbed his temples as he watched the child disappear into the hallway. Why was every child he spoke to today trying to talk to him about reproduction today? It was tiring. Shadow laid across the small twin, he needed a nap. Rose or Diamond would wake him for dinner.

“This is Charles,” Diamond beamed as he held a plush hedgehog with black fur over his head. 

“He’s very cute!” Cream smiled at Diamond. 

“Thank you,” Diamond attempted to change his voice as he made the plush wave with one of its nubby arms.

“Diamond, I’m about to make lunch. Is there anything you want?” Amy poked her head out of the kitchen. 

Diamond rocked on his heels as he thought about it. “I’m good with anything you cook, Auntie Amy.”

Amy nodded. “You can go play until I call you then.” 

“Kay!” Diamond bounced happily. “Miss Cream, would you like to see my other dolls?”

“I’d love to.” Cream followed the boy upstairs.

“He’s a very well behaved kid.” Blaze stated. “But should we be concerned that he met Sonic in his timeline?” 

“Diamond understands that he time traveled. We had him talk to Silver about the dos and don’ts of time travel.” Amy assured him.

“But will it happen if he runs into his parents?”  Sonia stated. “It will be devastating if he reaches out to them and they have no clue he’s theirs.”

“We talked to him about that and he understands.” Amy stated confidently.

“Wait… Earlier he said his sister was the guardian of the Master Emerald,” Blaze pondered. “That means he’s Knuckles’ kid if Sonic was still alive for him to meet.” 

“Correct.” Amy smirked. “And who does Knuckles date?” The pink hedgehog waved her hand in the air at the white bat in her kitchen.

“Wait… that kid is related to me?” Rouge yelled after a blink.

Amy burst into laughter. “His name is Diamond. After the gem.”

“Nice to know you have a naming convention.” Sonia giggled. “But does Diamond know that Rouge is his bio mom? How is he going to feel when he finds out?” 

“I already know,” Diamond popped up in the kitchen doorway. “I traveled to this time, so yeah, she’s the same person. But she also isn’t because lots of events haven’t happened or won’t happen the way they did in my original timeline.” He gave a soft smile. “Oh, Uncle Shadow is asleep in my bed, so can we keep the screaming down?”

“Now I want pics of that.” Rouge pulled out her phone.

“I already took and sent them to you.” Cream smiled as she leaned forward to be seen. She ruffled Diamond’s quills. “Is there anything you can tell us about your timeline?” 

“Spoiling the good stuff is no fun. And warning about the bad is a downer.” The child pondered.

“That is fair.” Blaze complimented. “But if it’s something really bad, a warning would be helpful to avoid it.”

“That makes sense.” Diamond thought as he put his chin in his hand. He shifted between his feet. He looked at the girls then turned, “I’ll be right back.” He dashed up to his room. 

“He’s lively.” Cream smiled as she went to help Amy cook.

“All kids should be lively.” Amy smiled. 

“Has he told you anything regarding his timeline?” Blaze asked.

“Not much. Shadow and I died before he was born. He had a sister. He was babysat a lot by Charles and Alexander. They seem to be his favorite people.”

“Are Charles and Alexander in his timeline?” Sonia pondered. “What if he wants to go live with them if he finds them?” 

Amy shook her head, looking sad. “They’re not born. And with the changes that have been made to this timeline, they might not be born.” 

“That’s sad,” Rouge shifted on her feet. The kid seemed to love them so much. Amy even said they were his favorite people. “Why not check up on their parents? A bit of match making wouldn’t hurt right?” 

Amy sputtered as her face flushed. “N-no. Rouge, we shouldn’t meddle like that.” 

“I like Rouge’s idea,” Sonia smiled. 

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Shout out to the smattering of gw2 followers following this blog as ive been posting the au solo shots but i regret to inform yall this is my RvB blog - if you want gw2, my gw2 blog is @mordremrose !!

Youre welcome to stay for rvb too, just figured i’d, ya know, mention it

[writingquestionsanswered]

hey, i love your blog, you’re so kind for doing all of this. kudos.

i was wondering if you have advice on how to not be terrified of sharing your work with the world? i write a lot of fanfiction (and someday hopefully some original stories) but i get so so anxious about ANYONE reading them so they usually end up rotting in my google docs, and eventually i stop writing them because i don’t get the motivation that comes from reader responses

but the issue is i’m not sure how to tackle this anxiety. as someone who has published works, do you have advice for this?

Tackling the Anxiety of Sharing Your Work

For my answer, I'm going to cobble together some bits from previous posts and add some new stuff. ♥

Sharing our fiction with others is one of the biggest steps we take as writers, and it can be scary no matter what you write. But, if you want to be published, it’s a necessary step. As with so many things in life, doing something that requires courage is often just a matter of taking a deep breath and doing it. "Ripping off the band-aid," as they say.

However, there are some things that might help ease the associated anxiety a bit:

1 - Try to Pin Down Your Specific Fears - One of the first things you may want to do is try to figure out what you're specifically afraid of or what's making you the most anxious about the prospect of sharing your work. If you can find the root cause, it might be easier to tackle the associated anxiety. Are you worried people:

will think your writing is bad?

won’t like your writing style?

won’t get your story/characters?

will judge you for what you write about?

will think less of you for writing at all or what you write about?

will blab about your writing to others?

will steal your ideas?

will see similarities between your story and others?

will make you feel tied to a project you might not complete?

I tackle some of these in the writing-related-fears portion of my Motivation master list.

2 - Don't Rush It - If you take the time to properly revise and edit your story, you can be confident in knowing you've put in the time and effort to make your story the best it possibly can be.

3 - Start Small - If you can, try sharing your story first with an "alpha reader," or in other words a trusted friend, family member, or community member who can appreciate your story. In this case, you might say you're not looking for specific feedback but just a general impression of what they liked about the story. This way, it's not about getting constructive criticism so much as getting over the hump of sharing it and getting the little boost of what they like about the story.

4 - Gradually Go Bigger - From there, you might try sending to a couple of beta readers and opening up to a bit more feedback. The great thing about this is not only are you conditioning yourself to sharing and getting the opinions of others, you can potentially use the feedback to iron out kinks in the story if there are any.

5 - Use a Pen Name - You might want to consider using a pen name for anonymity. Pen names have many different purposes, but much like wearing a mask at a party, they can decrease your inhibition a bit because it creates a bit of a buffer between the real you and your writing.

6 - Post and Let It Go - Many writers get around the issue by simply not engaging with reader feedback, and if you're someone who cares what other people think or are likely to be daunted by the prospect of criticism, this may be the best route for you to go. Now, I know that with fan-fiction in particular, reader feedback is often used for improvement. But the truth of the matter is, you shouldn't rely on reader feedback for improvement anyway. Alpha readers, beta readers, critique partners, and editors are a much better metric for where to improve. When you get your feedback elsewhere, you can post your story and let it fly on its own without worrying about what others are saying.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

Permit me a bit of gushing, even though I've said most of this before, in a variety of places. But what is a tumblr blog even for, if not for subjecting you all to this? Anyway, I am just so, so enamoured with Dame Aylin, the way she is written, the way she speaks and acts, and every single trope that makes an appearance with her.

I adore what she's doing to people's vocabularies! Love seeing 'panoply' come up in the context of her armour. 'Libation' is another great fun one popping up, in actual religious ritual contexts, in Shadowheart-getting-drunk-in-camp-again contexts, and sometimes Isobel's, uhm. Yeah. And hey, she has single-handedly brought 'succor' to unprecedented levels of popularity!

Also, I cannot tell you how fun it is to write her! The levels of sheer intensity! The contrasting genuine sweetness and moments of vulnerability! What a gift it is to let loose with some really apeshit vows of bloody vengeance or stuff about cleaving foul villains in twain to rot unburied in dishonour without end, then go into gloriously inspirational and actually quite insightful supportive words reserved for loyal and respected allies, and after that waxing poetic about fair Isobel and her wise countenance and the honeyed indulgence of her lips and the luminous moonlit halo that rests easy upon her blessèd brow-- I love her so much, she is invited into my brain forever, she sparks such pure unadulterated joy. Just this evening I was picking at a fic doc and didn't get much done, but I filled in a bit of banter

"A snivelling coward as always, Balthazar. Were there no spines to be found in any of the tombs you plundered?"

and then sat and had a little giggle with myself.

Anyway. I could happily post bits and pieces of Aylin lines all day (this is only slightly a joke post), there's just so many excellent ones, and ones I feel people often miss, which is a shame. But here, for now, to cap off these rambles, have this bit from the Shadowfell prison that just goes so hard and that I am particularly personally fond of for some reason. The phrasing is just... chef's kiss.

Know I will feel every wound, and still I will hurt less than you, who so utterly yourself defile.

On a more humorous note, I am also a big fan of when she calls you a chicken.

Run your coop all you like, chicken. You cannot fly without my wings.

[thefourchimes]

lots of encanto AUs i want to talk about so here you go

so uh, i've been brain rotting and hyperfixating on encanto for a bit now, and its been very fun

tho i've barely talked about some of the ideas and aus i have and want to share, so i guess i want to do that now in a way, so uh... (mirabel voice) lets go lets go

List of AUs here:

Time Travel AU

Big Hero 6 AU

[Redacted] AU (not the au's actual name, hidden for reasons)

Ghost Cocoon AU (fusion idea au i came up with of the cocoon au by @raefever and ghost grandchildren au by @jerseyk112, both found in @gamerbearmira's blog)

Giftless Grandkids AU (idea by anon, also found in @gamerbearmira's blog)

Undertale AU

Gravity Falls AU

P.S. some of these au ideas are not originally mine, but i've contributed to them in some way, and i've credited and tagged the creators

More information of the AUs found below

1. Time Travel AU

first au i've ever thought about, cool hue sisters centered, because i love them sm and i was still finding my footing in encanto and the fandom when i thought of this au, and yeah

its where isabela and luisa get sent back to the past after going after and protecting mirabel as casita falls

i gained the idea after seeing how the two older sisters were still so terrified of alma and disappointing her that they couldn't stand up for mirabel and for themselves, but as casita was falling, they weren't about to let their baby sister go, not after everything

despite this being the first au, its also still really vague and barebones in a sense, not much planned yet and its all just vibes, plus i just really wanted a cool sisters au because i love them sm

2. Big Hero 6 AU

ah yes, big hero 6 au, my beloved

came to be when i figured out bear aka @gamerbearmira's reference in one of her encanto one shots, the scooby doo one where they got arrested, and she used bh6's aunt cass' rant for alma's rant in said one shot, and then it led me to realize the potential of encanto big hero 6 au with bear, so that was fun

there's a post in bear's blog for the au, so you can check it out

there's a bunch more info that we haven't shared yet, but it's all written up in the docs for it, so yesyes

honestly been a bit since i touched the au personally, as i keep getting distracted by the other ones below

but yeah, planning on exploring of this au soon <3

3. [Redacted] AU

ah yes, this au, the 120 and counting pages one in my docs

and the 120 pages are mostly just details and planning for the au, not a single written thing yet

this au is not called redacted au, but the name itself is redacted because the word itself is a bit of a spoiler and im still trying to find a better name for it in general

i have no idea how to explain this au

first thing to mention is how its very much inspired by Take Back the Kingdom by @optimistic-violinist and @impossiblefangirl0632 (sorry for the tag, i can take it out if you'd like) and i really really recommend this fic, its so so good and it changed my brain chemistry on so many levels

so yes, i really got inspired by this fic, and it will very much be shown in this particular au with some things and tropes, but ofc im doing my own spin on stuff and the details, and from what i have rn, i think it really evolved and is still evolving as time goes on

another thing to note about this is how the idea came to be because of TBTK inspiration and a dream i had on the day i was taking a metaphysics midterms exam (this is completely unnecessary to mention but oh well, i still remember that moment so vividly)

the dream impacted just exactly how this au is going to go

what is the dream about? you'll find out whenever i get to write this au

all i can say without spoiling much is that there are lots of memory shenanigans and angst, plus the very fun trope of "your found family is your actual family"

also once more, read take back the kingdom, very good fic, 11/10, much recommend, will reread again

4. Ghost Cocoon AU

this au is the fusion of the Cocoon au and the Ghost Grandkids au, both still found in @/gamerbearmira's blog

ghost grandkids au is from @jerseyk112 and cocoon au is from @raefever, and ofc bear has a lot of ideas and thoughts for these aus in her blog

i was rereading bear's cocooned fic for the 17123723507 time and while i was at it, i remembered the ghost grandchildren au, so i decided it would be pretty fun to fuse the two aus together in some way

and so i did (first ask, second ask)

basic premise of this au is really just the ghost kids' healing and them protecting their younger selves and their family

this fusion au interested me so much that it got to the point where i actually wrote a 3683 word first chapter of sorts(?) for this fusion au already (bear has seen it but i havent posted it at all)

planning on continuing it when i feel like it tho hehe

so yes its been wild with this one

5. Giftless Grandkids AU

giftless grandkids au, my beloved

just as the name says, au where all the grandkids are giftless

all i can say is everything and nothing changes all at the same time with this

this au was sent and suggested by an anon in bear's blog

this is also the one where bear and i went wild on for the past few days

pretty sure bear is gonna be writing this au, if im not mistaken? so its very exciting

there's a lot in store for this au and it'll be fun

6. Undertale AU

undertale au yesyes

not the type where the characters are these characters tho

this idea is where we'll be throwing the grandkids into the underground for an adventure of a lifetime!

so basically characters of one media meet characters of the other media type

and the kids are gonna be going through the plot of undertale, technically in frisk's shoes here

this au is still very vibes and not much planned, there's lots of potential to play around tho, so im thinking of exploring this at some point soon

7. Gravity Falls AU

gravity falls au this time!!

now this au is the one pure vibes one, absolutely zero planning or thoughts, just vibes and aspirations for it

not even sure if it'll be like the undertale au where characters of one media will meet characters of the other media or if it'll be characters from this media are gonna be these characters of that media in this au

i just thought it would be fun to have an encanto gravity falls au idea, but still dont know where it'll be going in general

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's about it, there's actually a few more ideas i havent mentioned yet, but let's just say these ideas are exactly like the gravity falls au vibing no planning, except much worse in a sense, so i have no idea what kind of footing there will be at all with those aus

but anyway, i digress, these are some of the ideas and aus i have and would love to share and write and uh, yeah

if you have any questions on these aus, feel free to ask if ever, my asks are open (this is the first time im saying this in a post omg help)

but anyway yes the brainrot and hyperfixation is real

if you got here to the end, congrats have a pic of my dog for your effort and dedication <333 see you around <3

[xxf0rg0tt3n-b3st14xx]

Welcome to the wet, endless caverns underneath the forgotten world.

My name here is Rich(ie/ard) / Bass ><> / Lev But, if you know me by another name, you could use those too. [I collect names that I like and connect with] A 21-year-old queer butch man with the pronouns (He/They/It).

I do art [usually post things that I don't feel fits on others or just sketches] Mainly here to ramble about meanless stuff. Great liking to horror and the macabre, with a conflict between wanting to be sweet or to be the most heinous thing alive. In short, this blog contains my vents, art, and weird/dark stuff, you've been warned.

More about me, I'm nonhuman and would like to be not referred as such. The closet label I got is otherkin for what my nature of my nonhuman-ness. My main kin is the Leviathan, those I do flip back and forth if I am The Leviathan or A Leviathan. It really stems from this life I'm in, I was at lest from what I feel and think was supposed to be a rabbit. My other two past live I know distantly was a woman in a war of some short and, Aurochs bull my first life I remembered and a turning point to where I am.

In that same note, I'm a spiritualist with no real label that does not follow a god or devil, just a connection to the earth and respect to the universe. Though with that I do talk about religion I don't have the greatest relationship with, it complected...

Other tags I use a lot is Lev.txt [for me talking], .bmp well... for art, [❤️‍🩹] for blood. my kin tag is [♠️🐇], Afton [🐇✨]. angels [🪶] , golden-hare, It really just a tag for myself about feelings, more might be added in the future.

Old tags from my past blog if you want to go through them.

"Doc Ock"[💕], Lev.txt, Lev.art, [❤️‍🩹],

DNI

I'm keeping this short and sweet no demonizing mental illness nor sexualizing it, none of this empath shit, ED or related, not sexual age regression, ddlg, well for cnc it's mostly always a no but, there's a thin line I will allow. There is the obvious stuff like terfs, ablists, any form of needless hate. This list here is just my comfort and keep out questionable people. Though it's all a case by case basis I'm not afraid to block if I don't like you on my blog and don't care if you block me, I much prefer that if you don't like what is here.

Other things are that I don’t care if you like/reblog spam, I do the same at times. If you want to talk or want to ask a question to me, I’m open to that, though it might take a bit to get an answer.

Okay, I'm just going on hiatus on here until things let up or something real good happens.

It might be a few weeks to a few months. I won't say a set day.

Well, with how things are going with my county along with school and the homework that comes with it, and then trying to keep myself from rotting in bed has me in an unstable state right now. So I'm going to leave for a bit here.

For now on, till I say otherwise, will just be queued stuff.

[beetled-juice]

👀👀 would love to hear those "true form" beej headcanons if youre in the mood to share.........!!

@bunnys-beetlejuice-blog I'm always in the mood to share! Though I should clarify that my true form concepts for beej can be on the graphic side, since I enjoy taking each beetlejuice canon and thinking "how can I make this into genuine horror?". So I'm going to throw this under a read more, just to be safe!

These hc's are for musical!juice specifically - I have others for toonjuice and keatlejuice. This also isn't complete by any means - I have pages upon pages of writing on google docs about this stuff, so I'm trying to condense!

Netherworld Form - Dead is the New Sexy

So to start, I should also clarify that I personally view musical!juice as a vessel of sorts, a form that allows him to exist on earth as opposed to in the netherworld. Because of this, I think there are two distinct "versions" of beej's true form - one is the vessel / form you would see upon entering the netherworld with him, while the other is the demonic eldritch horror that he crams into said form(s).

-----

Whenever you go to the netherworld with him, he becomes like a walking corpse - more than normal, that is. Think skin rotting and sloughing off, joints twisted in unnatural positions, perhaps even internal organs trying to become external. It's not entirely clear how he can even move, or how he doesn't just disintegrate into piles of rotten 'juice with a voice, but somehow he manages to shove his mangled body around in a way that's not too dissimilar to that of a zombie movie. If you're used to the mossy and stinky demon as seen in the musical, this would be an immediate shove into a harsher reality - he looks like he's been decomposing for months, and nothing can help with the smell.

This can become even more devastating if we base his backstory for death more on movie canon than musical canon (i.e that he hung himself instead of Lydia stabbing him through the tit), because just like everyone else in the netherworld, he'll be unable to hide the evidence of how he died. In this case, you'd see the ring of bruising left behind, and the shift of the cervical vertebrae under what's left of his skin from where they broke.

The Cosmic Eldritch Horror We Know and Love

Overall, I think of him as having the keatlejuice makeup/effects, but taken to the extreme. Depending on how much I want to crank up the angst factor, I may or may not include the hanging aspect.

-----

This is where I kind of go off the rails in terms of very specific imagery. Have you seen the posts about what depictions of biblical angels would look like, but also the fact that they would try to mate with a telephone/power line? Or the post that’s about how cosmic entities using vessels to interact with humanity is like finger painting? That's beej's true form in a nutshell.

One of the things made very evident in the musical is that the netherworld is a dark place - literally! So I think it would be infinitely more horrifying if the demon trying to give you a little smooch stalking you through the vast abyss was a brilliant, glowing white - like a spotlight turned to its maximum setting, humming with power and electricity and impossible to look at directly. This also makes the name Betelgeuse more fitting - was he named after the star, or was the star named after him?

If you can manage a glimpse of him without blinding yourself, you'll see he's very big - easily dwarfing anyone or anything around him. You'll also notice that he doesn't move quite right. He doesn't walk, but he doesn't float either, instead making a weird lurching dragging motion that sounds like knives scraping on a plate. Don’t let this fool you though, because if necessary he moves like a lightning strike: fast and deadly and gone in a flash.

One of the interesting things about beej in this form is that he can’t really speak so much as convey thoughts and ideas - he has to be very careful though, or he could quickly overload your brain and leave some damage. In your head, he sounds the same as he normally does (if not a little base boosted), but his actual voice? The stuff of nightmares. Lack of speech doesn’t mean lack of sound, and even when he’s utterly silent he gives off a headache-inducing version of the hum you hear from the fluorescent lights at a gas station in the dead of night. Sometimes he sounds like rolling thunder and rattling glass, other times it’s infernal hell-speech and a wailing that makes your bones ache.

One of the unfortunate truths of being a demon is that over the course of millennia, he’s had to fight for his place in the pecking order. There are spots where he shines a little dimmer, his form marred by the thick bands of scars left behind by demons of old (primarily, his mother). Some still weep like open wounds, pouring thick black ooze that sizzles and burns against anything it touches. Only time can heal these - time on a scale living beings could never comprehend.

Even before you could see or hear him, you’ll catch the scent of ozone and the sharp tang of frozen metal on your tongue. You’ll feel an unease blanket you, your body and mind screaming at you to run, but you won’t be able to fight the feeling of heaviness that weighs your body down and anchors your feet to the floor. Out of everything, this is the part he hates the most - even if he just wants to be near someone, his very presence in this form forces them to seek a way to escape. That’s why it’ll be a rare instance to experience Beetlejuice’s true form - he’ll do everything in his power to keep from exposing it to anyone he cares about.

[wildelydawn]

I'm waiting for your bittersweet chocolate 90% . Will you update it? Or are you leaving it? Please answer this.🥺

Hello there! Thank you for checking in about Bittersweet Chocolate, 90%. I am not leaving it, but I am not sure when I will update it.

I don't talk about myself a lot on this blog, and I know you're not really asking about me, and perhaps the following will be way too much information and will make you and other feels really uncomfortable, but since a few people have asked about BSC90, I just want to clarify a few things.

tl;dr: I'm sad. I'll start writing and updating again soon.

I have very severe depression. And I do mean severe: the kind that where I don't get out of bed for anything, the kind that leaves my hair uncombed and unwashed for days, the kind that destroys any creative ray of sunshine in my life, the kind that worries people IRL. I zone out for hours. I have no concept of time when I do zone out. I get up out of bed when I have to, physically go to work, and immediately come back to bed when I am home. I open up my phone, muster the strength to reply to a few people, then go to Google Docs, and stare at an empty document until my phone locks. I fall asleep and repeat that cycle over and over and over again. I don't leave my apartment for anything besides work; last week was the first time I left my house in months and that was by sheer force (bless my partner for that) and I have no plans on leaving my apartment again because I simply have no will to do so. If it wasn't for my cat, I would absolutely never leave my bed. If I could, I would, and want to, just rot away in bed, and talk to no one. And I am sure many people who talk to me on here, Discord, etc. have noticed that I am taking longer and longer to reply. (In fact, I am neglecting to respond to The Woman right now, and she is someone I prioritize, always.) I could go on and on about how heavy this illness and its roots dig into me and weigh me down, and usually, I have a handle on it, and for the most part, I did! This last year These last six months have been really terrible in terms of IRL stuff, but writing, whether it's creative, or journaling, or academic, has always helped. It's always been my escape.

So you can imagine why I felt incredibly lucky to come across KinnPorsche: the Series because it does spark a lot of creativity in me. I can't believe I've written 200K words for a single fandom, let alone 150k+ words on KimChay. I spent May through November using KP and other media and writing fics to navigate my depression. I spent the last few weeks developing what I would call close friendships with people when earlier this year, I had no one to talk to. Hell, I have all the inspiration at my finger tips. I literally have projects in development with really amazing artists on here. People send me prompts and ideas and I watch my list grow and I think of how lucky I must be to be inspired. I made friends with people on Twitter. Twitter! And it's winter time, my favorite season, and I'm looking forward to the snow, the walks in cold air, my trench coats and sweater vests. And I've been updating YLTTL (which is a finished fic, but still need heavy editing.) According to the math, I should be good; I should be in a place where I can write BSC90 and update. And I should be happy.

But I am not. Right now, I am in a really bad place, and if I have the will to write, it comes in flashes that dim out rather quickly. I am frustrated. I am exercising immense self control when the urge to delete everything I've ever written and run away overtakes my head. I write things, and I delete them because nothing feels good anymore. Nothing I write feels good enough to post either. And I've never written for anyone: as in, I write for me and my health, even though BSC90 is literally for someone. But it really sucks when your own brain is telling you, "Hey! Everyone's lying to you! You're not really a good writer, and if you were, you would push past all these terrible feelings and write like you always do." And I do that often, but that methodology is not working right now because of the severity of my feelings.

Now, I am not saying that this is anyone's fault or that you or anyone who asks about my fics is a bad person or anything. I promise you that's not where I am coming from. I promise you that I appreciate every reader I have, including you. I promise you my intention with this response isn't to make you or anyone feel bad or to solicit pity or sympathy. But I do need to say something because:

1) I think people deserve honesty, no matter what.

2) I've given the "Haha I've just been really busy!" excuse over the last month and that hasn't been enough and

3) I'm beginning to feel like I'm letting people down, which I know really isn't the case, but my flickering brain is trying to convince me that I am, and my chest tells me the same thing.

I promise when I come back, Chapter 6 of BSC90 will be, I hope, worth the wait. And that despite everything I've written here, I do appreciate you asking about the story and I appreciate your patience. So please don't feel bad or some type of way if you (or anyone else) is reading this. I just want to be honest.

Thank you for reading. 🖤

[matcha-narancia]

Hii!! you're super generous for doing the oc x canon requests so thank you so much for it in advance! can i pls request uhh either a drabble or headcanons (whatever one is easier for you!) of fugo and my oc about just. fluff. give me tooth rotting fluff. GMKDSGD. i will send you the doc with my oc information since we are mutuals (at least on your other blog lmao. my selfship blog is strawberrydearest) because it has like personality + also relationship stuff so i hope it helps!! again ty for doing this <3

A/N: Oh, tysm hun! And thank you for the doc as well, it really helped a lot when giving background info for Zinnia/Fiore. I hope you enjoy this lil' drabble!

I’ll also be referring to her in this by both names, I hope that’s alright!

Take A Break | Zinnia/Fiore X Fugo Drabble

“Fugo,” she called, though she would receive no response. 

The late afternoon sun shined through the semi-transparent curtains. It had been hours, and yet Fugo remained in the study, scribbling away at the various documents Giorno had asked him to fill out.

This was all well and good, but Zinnia knew better. She knew Fugo, after all. And she knew that once his mind was set on something, he wouldn’t stop until it was done.

“Fugo.” she called again, this time a bit more stern. This prompted the groan of a chair a few rooms away. With a laugh, she took the cup of tea and saucer from the table and was on her way. 

Into the room she went, placing the cup down beside him without missing a beat. She slid behind the pushed back chair and hugged his shoulders, resting her head on one of them.

Fugo shuddered a bit at this, but relaxed once he knew who it was. Touch was something he had been a bit awkward about at first, but he eased into it. 

“You should rest,” She hummed, and he let out a huff.

“Almost done,”

“Hmmm, are you really though?”

She asked in a playful tone, one that never failed to make Fugo’s head thump faster in his chest. Saying he had butterflies in his stomach was a far understatement whenever Fiore would tease him.

“Almost.”

“You don’t sound so sure of that.”

Fugo bit his lip as she let out an exaggerated sigh. Giving in, he stood and turned, pulling her into his arms.

“Alright alright, I’ll do the rest later…”

“Good!” she grinned, satisfied by winning him over, “Your tea was gonna get cold!”

Rolling his eyes at this, Fugo pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“What would I do without you?”

His tone was loving, oh so loving. Zinnia couldn’t help the smile that formed so easily on her lips.

“You’d be overworked, probably.”

They both laughed at this.

[goose-books]

hello everyone! what if i came up with a fun name for my followers. as if i have a brand instead of 5-10 friends who sort of pay attention to what i’m doing here. goslings. hello goslings. wait i have an oc with the last name gosling. oh well whatever - it’s about time around here for a little status update, isn’t it?

darkling

as of this weekend, i’ve finished the first draft of darkling (trans nd specfic king lear retelling)! only seven acts and almost 200k words. sighs in overwriting.

maybe i’m still riding the high of finishing something, but i would venture to say that this first draft is better than i expected it to be. while i have a formidable list of things to edit, i doubt i’ll have to make major structural revisions… which means i’m hoping to work on said edits and open up beta reading this summer, if not sooner! (my heart says to try for spring break, but my brain says that would be terribly ambitious of me, especially after i’ve existed facedown in this book for a good three months.)

AMT

with darkling drafted, a modern tragedy, the podcast, once again becomes my first priority! (...also a shakespeare retelling. ah, well, we have a brand over here at goose-books dot gov.) more coming about this Soon. (like, within this week soon.)

the other ones

ah, the other ones. [gesturing vaguely at the WIPs piled like sleeping kittens in the corner]

look, i’ve… i’ve learned by now that i can’t really go into any new year stating that i’m going to draft X or Y. as much as i would like to… i do not control the random bursts of inspiration that pin me to my desk and make me write 200k words about my personal reinterpretation of king lear which i have only just read due to quarantine. (just an example. just off the top of my head.) i like to keep my writing goals loose; i like to allow new projects to come and go as they might!

that said, i do have tentative thoughts about my long-running WIPs. currently, TMR (high fantasy with faeries and trans kids) is sitting as a full draft from 2018 (wow). quark (magical nyc, monsters, adhd, prophecy, capitalism bad, etc) is sitting as half a draft from 2019, which i never ended up finishing (oops). and love h (butch4butchhamlet) has yet to be drafted at all.

depending on… what ends up Happening in my life in the next couple of months (this is a cryptic allusion to college application results, which affect my writing plans somewhat), i would like to pick one of these to draft this year! in the event that any of you [gestures at my mostly-nonexistent readership] have opinions / a favorite of those WIPs… [slaps the askbox invitingly]

valentine van velt (holden caulfield goes to exposure therapy) is, as always, my odd WIP out. (”i’m weird,” it says. “have you ever seen me without this stupid second person narration? that’s weird.”) i wrote a full draft of it last year and i don’t really intend to write another; for better or worse it’s a story quite embedded in a specific period in my life. that said, i am also terrified to post it publicly anywhere because of its painfully clear parallels to my real actual irl mental health journey. scream. i’ll also take opinions about this one, for the record [slaps the askbox again]

in other news, by hook or by crook* i will put that short story into the world within the next few months. i refuse to let that thing turn an entire year old rotting in its google doc.

*by acceptance to some kind of magazine/contest or by me just throwing it at this blog with confetti

in conclusion: plans! i heard of em. they’re vague, but i have them! i’m very excited to finally put some stuff into the world this year instead of just promising that i will! i hope you’re all doing well; my dms and askbox are always open! now if you will excuse me i am off to go put on hand cream.

[harksness]

Olivia Octavius x Reader

Request: Hello! Could I ask for a sky artist waitress working and serving her regular doctor Octavia that has a huge crush on the waitress? Love your blog so much!!!!! Have a great day!

Requested by: @waterwitchstuff

A/N: Thank you sm!!! ❤ This is so sweet and cheesy I hope you like it hskskssk

Warnings: Cheesiness, not your usual pepper jack, gouda, or blue cheese, but the Cheese Wiz kind of cheesy. And tooth rotting fluff.

When Olivia first visited that little coffee shop a few months ago, she didn’t expect to become obsessed with it.

Well, okay, she’s not obsessed with the coffee shop, but you, the cute barista working there. 

She visited whenever you were working, always ordering one simple little black cup of coffee and sitting at a table nearest the counter, reading a book, or working on something on her computer.

She always strikes up a conversation with you, consisting of her nerdy rambling and constant flirtatious comments. Olivia loved how flustered you’d get, your cheeks tinting a rosy shade as you’d stutter and struggle to find something to say. It’s adorable.

She learned what times your popular little coffee shop would have the least amount of customers so she could have your undivided attention. She wanted to talk to you as much as she could without interruption, making sure to visit you on the slower hours whenever she could.

Today was another one of those days. She was prepared to sit at her usual table, chat you up then return to the office to finish testing her new equipment. She leaned into the door as she pushed it open with her left hand, cradling a thick book and her wallet in her right. 

The bell above the door let out a chime, and she noticed that the little shop was empty, void of customers. The scientists eyes landed on you, leaning on the counter, staring intently at the sketchbook laying under your hand as it darted across the paper, you seemed hypnotized by the images you were creating, by the soothing sound of the lead scratching against paper.

Olivia took a moment to admire you, how at peace you looked in that moment. Your soft features weren’t shadowed with tiredness or worry like usual, you just looked.. Content. Thoughtful.

It was enough to make her heart melt.

Oh boy, Olivia Octavius is falling for you hard.

In that moment you felt a pair of eyes on you, glancing up to see whose gaze could possibly be so fixed on you, your eyes locked with Doc Ock's energetic green orbs. Liv froze like a deer in headlights, she had been caught admiring you from afar. Abort mission.

You blushed under her intense gaze, and scrambled to close your notebook, quickly tucking your pencil behind your ear, and swiftly placing your sketchbook out of sight. You'd be embarrassed if she ever seen what you drew, you couldn't let her know you're crushing on her like a nervous schoolgirl, always doodling her in your sketchbook.

“Uh, hi Olivia!”

You stuttered out, internally facepalming at your awkwardness. Real smooth, womanizer. The scientist grinned at you, approaching the counter.

“Hey there cuteness. Whatcha drawin’?”

Her grin widened when she noticed the pink tainting your cheeks flush to a deep red, you busied yourself with getting her usual order, one simple black cup of coffee.

“Um, nothing really.”

You said in a shaky tone, your back towards the scientist as you readied her order. Thank god she couldn't see your face right now, you were probably redder than a cherry. You internally facepalmed for the millionth time today. You aren’t typically this big of an antisocial klutz, but it does intensify around the Doc. You’re more aware of your actions, more aware of your words. You're so terrified you’ll say something dumb, you just end up saying almost nothing at all.

“Oh come on, I noticed that focused look on your face. I get that way all the time when I’m working on my science-y stuff, could you show me what you were drawing? Please?”

She begged, clasping her hands together and sticking out her bottom lip for dramatic effect. You chuckled nervously as you turned back towards her, swiftly passing her the steaming cup. You were surprised, but very happy that you didn't spill the burning hot drink on her. Pausing for a moment, you contemplated what she had asked. Nerves ate away at your chest, making it ache dully, but in that moment you decided to hell with it. As long as you're careful, she won't see the drawings you had done of her.

“Alright, fine..”

Olivia jumped with joy, she always seems to have so much energy, so much excitement about everything. It’s kinda admirable, and very cute. She’s always so enthusiastic, telling you every time she finishes off a cup of coffee how it’s “totally the best thing she’s ever tasted.” When she gets excited, she starts to ramble. She always gets this gleam of passion in her eye, and when you see that look you know you could sit and listen to her nerdy rambles all day.

You grabbed your sketchbook, carefully choosing which drawings to show her. With every one, she oohed and ahhed, complimenting you for your amazing talent every chance she could. And you saw that gleam in her eye again, in that moment you swore your heart melted.

She got excited over one of your silly drawings of a fish with legs, grabbing your sketchbook to examine it further. Olivia was laughing, and you felt panic consume you as she went to turn the page. But you noticed too late.

“Wait-”

She froze.

Olivia was looking down at a drawing of herself from your point of view. Sitting at her usual table on her laptop, intensely focused on her work. The drawing captured her perfectly. She turned the page, finding another one of her with a book perched in her left hand as she sipped coffee with her right. Olivia kept turning the pages, finding more and more little sketches of herself. The drawings are so beautiful, so detailed, so.. romantic. The scientist wondered if that’s how you really saw her.

“These are beautiful.”

Olivia said quietly, and you blushed.

“Yeah.. I dunno. You’re so admirable and beautiful, I draw you a lot without even realizing it. I guess you inspire me.”

You laughed nervously as you realized what you just said, then you froze. Your nerves came back in full force, gnawing away more harshly at your chest, it ached. You shouldn't have shown her your sketchbook. Sure, she flirts with you, but thats just how Olivia is. She's a flirt. She surely doesn't have feelings for you, right?

Olivia stared at the delicate drawings in awe, her heart throbbing in her chest with flattery and adoration. You had obviously been admiring her from afar just as much as she had been admiring you. She ran her fingers over the intricate lines of your drawings, absolutely starstruck.

“Uh, I’m sorry, I just-”

“No no no! Don’t you dare apologize these are so beautiful! Is-is this really how you see me?”

You paused for a moment, swallowing hard under her intense gaze. It would have thrown you off if you weren't used to it by now, used to her intense nature. You took a deep breath.

“Y-Yeah.. You always look really beautiful, especially when you’re immersed in your work... You get a certain look on your face, so concentrated, and I notice you mumbling to yourself, you’re just really-”

You cut yourself off in surprise when you noticed that said look on her face. So concentrated, immersed in your words. Analyzing the expression on your face, you suddenly felt vulnerable under her gaze, and terrified of your own words.

“...Beautiful..”

You unwillingly finished to fill the silence, nervousness worming it’s way into your chest. You clasped your hands together, hoping she wouldn’t notice the subtle quake in your hands. Your nerves only strengthened under her analytical gaze.

“Do you wanna get uh, well I was gonna say coffee, but maybe you’d wanna do something a little more out of your element.”

You felt the previous nerves and fear begin to deflate at her words, excitement prodding at your chest. 

“Uh, y-yes I’d love to!”

A grin quickly spread across her lips. You swear, the moment she first flashed that lopsided grin at you she stole your heart.

“I may or may not have been silently swooning over you for awhile, too, so yeah don’t apologize.”

She laughed, and you smiled warmly at her. Olivia’s laugh is so dorky, her little snort making your heart melt. 

“There’s a new restaurant not too far from my place.. Are you free on Friday?”

“Yes!”

You answered a little too quickly, but you didn’t really care. You were too excited. She chuckled, fiddling with her hands.

“Alright! A date it is!”

Olivia winked at you, and you laughed, so full of nerves and excitement.

You're going on a date with Olivia Octavius.

[mayadile]

I don't know if I'm bothering you with this ask but has King Dice ever felt inner conflict at having an actual relationship for once in his life? Not that he regrets it, he's just never thought that it was possible? When he first started dating Connie, I mean, the absolute angel.......(I'm a hardcore Snake Eyes shipper but your art and ideas are so amazing......I was actually first introduced to the LGBTQ+ community by looking through your blog and I'm really thankful for it )

I DID WRITE A WHOLE BIG THING ABOUT THIS IN MY GOOGLE DOCS HOW EVERYTHING GOES AND HAPPENS WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!!!! welp this is going to be long so lets pop in A READ MORE!!!

Ok so lemme give you some headcanons of mine HAHA so yes as you can see King Dice! He’s a big shot right? He can smooth talk his way to getting anything, it’s a talent of his! He attracts all sorts of people with his presence and he knows it! Working in the casino for years and years ( And stuff with King Dice’s backstory but that’s later but if you wanna know I can gladly write that for you too later! ) and being partners with the Devil himself, got a reason for it, being the right hand man, man got a rotten soul! Greedy,Egotistic,Nartisstic, etc ( I MEAN LISTEN TO HIS SONG! He basically thinks so highly of himself come on, even when working with the Devil he thinks noone can mess with him! ) Dice likes money and by god does he love making people’s life the worse! mostly playing around with toons he thinks deserve it...like you know he has so much charisma, he can talk anyone into anything, he has that face, smile, dapper look,HE’S GOOD LOOKING AS HELL!! he got an aura that draws you to him. Hard to see right through him but if you do, you’ll see some dark aura around the guy. He’s a nasty nasty man! manipulative and a snake HAHA everyone in inkwell knows him for that, pretty sure everyone in inkwell hates him.He’s very dedicated and devoted to his work, that was the deal, be here in the flames and rot, why not have some fun and pull in some suckers, that’s one thing him and the devil bond over and get along with, they love making deals and ruining lives. He can talk a drunk patron into playing a game and selling their soul, he can flirt his way into your heart and take your soul, he can be so friendly, start something with you and just break your spirit and take that damn soul of yours and act as if he had nothing to do with it and left you there speechless and does it give him pleasure to see the lights leave your eyes when you figure out when you notice you just fucked up your life into giving your soul to the big cheese! Hilarious! what a sucker! you really think you had a chance? you really think everything was going good for you here? Welcome to hell pal! Now that you see the negatives of King Dice, back to your question, yes it was confusing for him to ever have genuine feelings for someone, most of the time he plays around ya know? He can do whatever he’s the manager. I mean I’m pretty sure he had relationships before he got his soul taken from the devil! But guess all things were lose and consumed while working in the Casino, guess he didn’t have the need for it or thought it is necessary??? The only relationship he had all those years stuck in here was his partnership/friendship with the devil, don’t know if you can say it is a good friendship, but they are business partners??? same with his lackeys too! King Dice again thinks he’s a real catch, he knows toons fall for him and he likes the attention! But him attracted to someone he finds alluring as himself?? He can’t keep his eyes off? interested? curious? THAT’S A REAL RECORD SCRATCH, it confuses the absolute hell out of him.Like imagine being someone whos...King Dice and suddenly you start developing feelings? scary isn’t it? Chest starts to get heavy, your nasty nature turns into putty and you have birds singing, you want to see this person and hear their voice, you get tongue tied?? Something you never do? Mr.Big Bad Big Shot, Everyone adores me and hates me and this one person makes you weak to the knees!! an employee of yours? It’s terrifying for him and absolutely crazy, he doesn’t need this, he thinks he is better than that, love? HAHA WHO NEEDS THAT RIGHT? I’M THE GAMEST IN THE LAND WHO NEEDS THAT STUFF WHEN I HAVE ALL OF THIS AND-- Oh look Connie!Does he regret it? Nah, he actually likes it, it’s nice to feel something good! make that dark void in his chest sing and dance. His feelings towards Connie developed deep down since he did try to hide and deny it but coming from a guy who is actually a secret hopeless romantic it’s hard~ uhhh ok Dice’s first impression of Connie wasn’t good and mostly he thought that they were like every other magician, they do a image for themself but they’re actually nasty like why else would Connie come and also accept a job at the casino? He knows Connie isn’t a complete angel ( They were given a job at the casino for a reason and that reason is because the devil sees something in Connie he admires and so he lend them a hand and gave them the job here, Connie isn’t the ANGEL you all think they are, they’re actually awful lol but they repress feelings!  ) but getting to know them further ( if you wanna know how feelings develop Ill give you that too and when connie came to the casino! ) But! Connie has that something, that really attracts King Dice, they’re like light, lighting up the room with their booming voice and enthusiastic personality, makes the casino more alive and tolerable. Another small headcanon, of course I base King Dice very much of Cab Calloway, so he isn’t always a nasty dude ( i mean he is ) but he has that feel of always dancing about and singing~ Back then in his better life Dice had a band and wow does he miss it..( Locks all of his past memories in a box hidden in his office ).. Being around Connie makes him want to dance and sing ( which he does ) sometimes together he will tune his radio and play some songs and sing, Connie would join and dance along side with him, brings back memories and it’s a good thing since Dice hasn’t had a dance partner in YEARS and mostly someone who can catch up with his rhythm and be in sync and have the same energy. So yeah he never ever thought he would make it this far and have an actual loving relationship with someone, I mean Connie and Dice are both broken toons and both aren’t perfect and have some conflict but they do have such good chemistry and love one another to make it whole! ( Wow that was cheesy but these two can be cheesy :\ ) Again apologizes for my rambling and run off sentences .... remind you that this is one of my ever first oc/canon I was ever invested in and seeing people like it really make me happy since Im a nervous lad....There is alot to their story and again I will say, they are a slow burn, feelings slowly develop and mostly fully happen after the casino went to shit, but not saying they don’t mildly flirt before then ;o; just conflicted feelings all around...uh..im not a romantic writer guys but I can say I do love the effort I put in these two so if you want more info just tell me and I’ll do the best I can? THANK YOU!

[femslashy]

2018 fic year in review

thank you so much for tagging me @homosociallyyours !! this was really fun (and also a bit hard haha) to do ^__^

1. number of stories (including drabbles) posted to ao3: 19 (6 100 word seasonal drabbles, and out of the rest 4 are under 1k and 2 are chaptered but one of those is still a WIP)

2. word count posted for the year: 142,383 which is def more than i’ve written in previous years but my initial goal for this year was 200k and then i lowered it to 150k and then decided i should focus less on word count and more on actually finishing the fics lmaooo

3. list of works posted this year in order of posting:

the tesco fic (although i didn’t make the tumblr post until recently)

three spring drabbles (100 words each)

begin again [timestamp] (my only snowbaz fic in 2018)

we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown

SPHERICAL

got me an appetite, now i can taste it

Take a Chance on Me

Getting Naked on Camera (NOT CLICKBAIT)

my favourite colour is you

louis tomlinson’s completely 100% foolproof guide to snagging the fit bloke next door (3 100 word drabbles)

no better place than right by your side

days gone by (WIP)

love the cronch

zero to sixty

where the love light gleams

4. fandoms i wrote for: mostly one direction and by that i mean i posted a timestamp for a carry on fic from 2017 and the rest was one direction lol

5. pairings: harry/louis, simon/baz (ONCE)

6. story with the most hits: Take a Chance on Me with 10975 hits :o

7. story with the most kudos: Take a Chance on Me with 426 kudos

8. story with the most comments: Take a Chance on Me with 52 comments threads

9. work i’m most proud of and why: well Take a Chance on Me was both my first time doing a big bang as well as the longest thing i’ve ever written (twice the length of the previous longest!) and i’m still completely in love with the art for it courtesy of @vulpixlou and i def don’t go back to stare at it ever nope 👀👀

10. work i’m least proud of and why: i mean i could nitpick the hell out of my stuff and i know there are certain bits i would write differently now but at the same time i created something with my brain that didn’t exist before and that’s just too cool not to be proud of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:

this is from Take a Chance on Me (shocker) and i was having trouble thinking of my fave but then i was skimming through all of my fics and ngl i had forgotten about this bit but y’all i’ve been trying to work a Dramatic Airport Reunion into a fic FOR FUCKING EVER and i finally did it and i actually don’t hate it? (spoiler for the ending of Take a Chance on Me)

“See…” Louis starts. “See, there’s this guy. And, oh god, he’s an absolute twat. Wanna know what he did to me?” Harry nods faintly, and Louis, emboldened now, goes on. “So, I already knew who he was, right? I knew him, because he’d been in this god-awful boy band for years, and even if me bloody sisters hadn’t been so bloody in love with him, I’d still have known him, because he was just that famous.”

“I wasn’t that famous.”

“Don’t interrupt,” Louis chastises, and Harry mimics zipping his lips. “So this guy, I knew him, but he didn’t know me, but, fucking hell, I think someone forgot to tell him that, because there I was, minding my own business, when this kid just…” Louis giggles then, because the memory is just so ridiculous, “he just starts fucking singing to me, can you believe it?”

Harry shakes his head. “What a weirdo.”

“Right? The weirdest.”

“What happened next?”

“I fell in love with him.”

“What? That soon?”

“Of course not, Jesus, Harold. I’m not that pathetic. I waited the appropriate amount of time to fall in love, thank you very much.”

“Is that why you’re here, then?” Harry whispers. “Is it because you love him?”

“That’s part of it, yeah. I love him, and I love the way we just fit, and I adore his daughter, and our pets are friends now, and I think our sisters are best friends now, so they didn’t actually give me a choice, but do you want to know the biggest, most important reason?”

Harry nods quickly, so hard his chin bumps his chest, and Louis’ so fucking in love with him at that moment that these are the easiest words he’s ever said.

“I’m here,” he tells Harry, “because I was lying in my own bed, in my own house, surrounded by all my things, and all I wanted to do was go home.”

He’s yanked forward then, Harry’s fingers digging into his shoulders, and he barely feels the pain because it’s Harry, and everything’s good when it’s Harry. He’s babbling into Louis’ neck, and the only words he can make out are his name and “love you” and he shivers with the feeling.

Harry’s hair has grown out enough since the night Louis snuck in to see him that he can tangle his fingers in the strands. So he does, pulling Harry’s face away from his neck and pressing their lips together. Every kiss feels like an apology. Every kiss feels like home.

12. share or describe a favorite review you recieved: so this miiiiight be cheating but i received two comments on a fic i wrote in 2015 and it was kind of a surprise that something that old still held up and people still enjoy it? def made me feel better about my current writing and also anyone who quotes my fics back to me has earned my undying love and affection

13. a time when writing was really, really hard: i have adhd so p much always ahahaha

14. a scene or character you wrote that most surprised you: the entirety of “we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown” ngl because i struggled with the like… morally gray criminal-y elements? and portraying the two of them in such a different way while still staying in character which i like to think i nailed? hopefully lol

15. how did you grow as a writer this year? i don’t feel like a i have? but i’m also bias and hypercritical so maybe i did and just didn’t realize ahaha

16. how do you hope to grow next (this?) year: i want to enjoy writing again and i want to finish more fics and not let them rot in my docs because of self-doubt

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: okay so first @amandaisnotwriting is the real MVP as she bears the brunt of my whining/complaining/drama queen moments as well as the fact that she listens (some would argue is forced to :p) and reads over fic for a pairing she doesn’t ship for a fandom she doesn’t care about 😂😂😂

@rainbowbaz always makes time to look over my fics even when she’s crazy busy and is honestly amazing and saves my fics from americanisms ahahaha

and FINALLY we met p late in the year but but @livingatthelairport ‘s comment on “the tesco fic” helped me out of a writing slump and now she’s become my cheerleader (and friend 💜) and that’s make a huge difference in my attitude towards writing! it’s also easier to write a fic for a specific person than worry about the opinion of a crowd which is def something i’ve been missing in this fandom rip

also to everyone else who has read my fics, listened to me rant about them or just helped the process along in any way at all this is a GIANT thank you!!

18. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? i mean i can’t think of anything off the top of my head but a lot of my inspo comes from the world around me so probably lol

19. any wisdom you can share with other writers: there’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous of other writers because i’m not a fan of hiding feelings just because they’re ugly as long as you don’t let it fester and turn into resentment or make you bitter. there are a lot of factors that go into a fic becoming “big” in a fandom but honestly most of it is just random chance so don’t beat yourself up because someone else’s success is not your failure and it’s nice to get recognition for your hard work but if you’re writing solely for the feedback then you’re writing for the wrong reason and that will lead to the resentment and bitterness mentioned earlier

also if you compliment someone you say you like their outfit but if you complement someone then you complete them

20. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’M GLAD YOU ASKED

these are all the things i didn’t start and/or finish in 2018 that WILL be completed this year

the cat fic

the doctor fic

the final three chapters of days gone by

penpal AU

Space. Florist.

teenage fanboys who are also best friends

baking blog fic

a short follow up to tacom

twitter drama fic

80’s/’high school’/secret admirer!AU

something based on yawning grave by lord huron

part three of the alien harry series

chocolate orange holiday fic

LA fic (wtwm)

70’s fic

monkey fic

i’m also planning to do the @larryabroad challenge again because i had so much fun with it last time :D

21. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

p sure everyone has done this but if you haven’t then do it now! and also tagging @cosyblack k bc you’ve had a really good year even if i have beta bias 😂

this took waaay longer than i thought it would omg but it was nice to take a look back!!

[talenlee]

Big Pile Of Bookkeeping

New Post has been published on https://press.invincible.ink/big-pile-of-bookkeeping/

Big Pile Of Bookkeeping

I make a point of trying to write about what I’m experiencing and thinking about and feeling, not because it’s some grand pcinriple but because it’s a lot easier and I’m not particularly creative about why I write, just that I write. The result is that when I’m not partaking of much that I think makes interesting writing subject matter (‘not making content’) I tend to trail off about it. Sometimes that’s things that I think ethically, I should not share, like spending a lot of time taking care of my niblings, or students’ work and input.

Sometimes it’s like what happened today.

Today, I spent a lot of time organising and tidying up sections on a draft document for my PhD. It is a scary document. I am very cautious about messing up something in it. I do not like how long it is and I do not like that it is so short. This is not interesting, in my mind, to share.

But it is very mentally draining, so I didn’t have a ton of brain space to write. What I did instead was do some graphic work on a game jam game (which, you know, you might see soon or not, I don’t know how it’s going to pan out at this point). I did some looking around for artists who might be interested in making Touhou art for this month’s prototype.

Bit by bit, little tasks bound up. I did the bins. I did some washing. I put away some laundry. I set up a Retrospring. I got myself on the same Mastodon instance as Fox. After some struggling with validators, I got back into an instagram account. I opened up old email addresses I’d forgotten and finally got the passwords saved, properly, and set up proper forwards so I would stop missing emails from it. I repositioned stuff on my desk, and vacuumed the area, including my Tonberry, my Gligar, my Wobbuffet, and my little Aiba plushie. It’s so many little things, so many things that a year (years?!) of neglect have let build up into a shape that made it hard to work in this space.

Oh, and I spent an unfortunate amount of brain-empty time today, logging in every single Dominator I have on the Homecoming server and making sure that their interfaces was standardised.

What?

I mean, I like it when the interface for the game (which I can customise to my wants), behaves in certain predictable ways. For example, no matter the character, when I press ctrl+1, I want to toggle on a travel power, and I want that to toggle off as well. I also like keeping my hands in reasonably narrow positions – so my WASD hand presses buttons 1-4, and modifies that with the control and alt modifiers.

I know, riveting.

This was something I could manage, a little brain-rotting experience of formally tidying up little pieces across things that don’t matter. Logging in and out is a few minutes, thirty seconds, forty seconds, screenshotting and checking things to make sure that like sat where like does, so swapping from character to character was minimally confusing.

I tidied up my journal. I wrote in my method doc about different platforms for getting audience attention to my creative work. And this is one of the things that’s on my mind a lot. Right now I’m spreading the places I’m on. Personally, I try to make sure that each place I put stuff is different; that way you can sort your experience with me, meaning that if you (say) want to skip the Magic: The Gathering stuff you don’t have to see it, and I don’t feel like I’m repeating jokes in different rooms to see who laughs at them.

On the one hand, I like the idea of letting you control your experience like that. On the other hand, I think that asking you to manage fifteen different ‘Talen Venues’ to see all the stuff I do sucks. I think of this blog as the central repository for what I do… which now I say that makes me wonder about how many times I”ve done stuff on other sites and not made it readily accessible here. Hmmm. That may be a thing to address.

Then I set up a Tumblr poster: something that could take my posts here and post them on Tumblr, like it shares links on twitter. That involved trying something totally new and unguided… and it worked. It worked out pretty okay. Doing that opened up to me that I’m going to need to make a new sidebar, something that links you to my spaces on the internet, to make it easier for you to access it ‘me’ and the things I make.

Anyway, see ya tomorrow.

[weirdmageddon]

ok this original post was meant to be a more lighter take on this person because i didnt think it was that bad or maybe it was a rumor grown out of hand but after the scamming incident and actually looking at their blog for the first time....this is genuinely giving me mucho bad vibes

first off

does gaud have a god complex or something and hold themself in higher regards than everyone else

thanks! as somene actually autistic youre doing the autistic community the complete opposite in favors by claiming you represent them and making vulnerable autistic children on here think youre an ideal role model for autistics. like im actually offended about this

ah i get it now. i get the icon. it represents gaud's greed. gauds church of scientology

i dont like how they carry this as really cultish. it's really creepy especially considering how old their following is. tons of people changing their icons to that fucking ugly pink still bank. making your icon that is the equivalent of putting on a "kick me" sign or wearing bright hazardous colors like a poisonous animal so people know to distance themselves

these are just my first impressions from going to their blog. now i found the receipts and im even more disgusted. thank you to the users who found these. ill list the major warnings in each

this doc contains nudity/nsfw, fujioshi shit, cannibalism, pedophilia, racism, iffy stuff

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-hlp6eyoPSdpi7dvTvGu1MdIQshZD30dpIc7VeK_hAc/

here was the server nonsense; in this one theres pedophilia, r*pe, antisemitism, losta iffy content. they did nothing to stop this. extreme irresponsibility

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PX07hEShEPwRfJrLd9N5C2Gw7p_UAbNoieR69vMGew4/

this one is recent racism (it was just added to the first doc i linked but this is primary source)

https://joulejay.tumblr.com/post/181606229942/dsfgfjh-i-took-a-look-at-uhh-guads-livestream-and

anyway the funnyman rot is in full effect and i hope that if we cant take gaud off the site that we distance the kids from them to the best of our ability. also as an autistic teen im not letting this 27 year old pasty cheat try to represent autistics

i fucking hate gauds icon and their cult of 13 year olds copying it because i know exactly where its from after years on the internet its that weird japanese electronic still bank that eats your coins and i cant believe they asked their followers for nsf/w of it

[librarified2004]

Here we go again...

This looked like fun. Hijacked from the amazing @the-random-fandom-one, so the actual title of this should be “@dammittmarie, you made me do another survey!”  Reblog with your answers! I want to get more communication going in the writing community here. Answer one, answer some! Answer whatever you want to! 1. What was the first character you ever created? I’ve been writing stories since I could pick up a writing utensil. I think the first character I ever really put a ton of thought into, though, was this character I played in an MMORPG during undergrad. Her name was Lindarian, and her past was tragic: the half-elven child of an illegal union between a mortal and an elf princess, she was basically raised in seclusion only to watch her three older half-brothers and her parents be brutally murdered on her eighteenth birthday. Man, even before I knew what fanfiction was, I knew how to whump a character. 

2. Is there a specific thing that made you want to start writing more? The MMORPG I played as an undergrad and grad student went down for good in about 2005, and after that, I stopped writing stories because there was no reason, really, to further develop that character. I got a job and started doing some professional writing--blogs and reviews and that kind of thing. Then I reconnected with an old friend who had written an entire book, and he started pushing me to do fiction again. I played around with some ideas, even published a short story, before I discovered fanfiction through a professional development class that I had to take. I can’t go back to school for my MFA in creative writing at this point, but I think writing fanfic is saving my sanity as well as giving me a sort of ad hoc, DIY MFA where I work at my own pace and set my own curriculum. Plus, some days it really saves my sanity. In the wise words of Lin-Manuel Miranda, I can pick up a pen and write my own deliverance.

3. Favorite character you’ve ever created? In the short story I published, “Swan Song,” I had this side character who existed simply to be my villain. I didn’t pay him much attention until very late in the creative process, when the editor said the big reveal was too abrupt. (He was right.) So I took that character out to coffee--literally, I took my laptop and a notebook to my favorite coffee place so I could have a distraction-free conversation with him--lit him a smoke (funny thing, I don’t smoke, but literally everyone in that story does and my smoker friends say I got that exactly right), and really, for the first time, tried to get to know him. I knew only the basics, but it turned out he had this whole past (tragic) and motivations that I’d never even seen. Knowing all this didn’t just change the reveal, it pivoted the entire story, and when I sat down to rework that reveal, the words just poured out. It turned out that he was rather an anti-villain and he ended up in an awesome place--if I ever write a sequel to that story, it will be his to tell. Nik, the villain of “Swan Song,” is my favorite because he taught me to look deeper, love harder, and never have a character unless you’ve taken the time to know them all the way down to their shoe size. 

4. Do your stories tend to have only a few characters or a lot?

As few as possible. In fact, I kind of freak out a little bit when I realize I need another character to serve some purpose. 

5. Do you sit down and plan out your worlds or just let them build themselves as you write?

Some of both, really. I tend to write a lot of fanfiction exchanges (or at least, that’s what gets published), and I always do a thorough canon review before I start plotting so I can get voices and world-building details right. My one published original short story is set in Moscow during WWII, and I did a bunch of research on that setting and time period before I went in, but I never really tried to force anything to fit. Interestingly, during revisions, I was able to go back and add date stamps to certain plot points based on my historical research. But  that story also has a magic twist to it (it was for a fantasy anthology) and the magic part just came to me, no building required. 

6. Do you ever meet people and want to write about them? Fictional characters, all the time. I love writing missing scenes. I don’t put much of real-life people into my characters (but I totally could--I work in a public library. Public libraries are literally the last remaining free resource in this country and my job is madness.)

7. What kind of environment do you do most of your writing in? Music or no music? Loud or quiet? In private or wherever? Depends on the day and the story. I have a novel in progress (which will never be finished, probably) and for that I have entire playlists of music for each character. But if there’s music, there can’t be words in a language I can understand, because I will end up singing along. No TV or movies, because I end up watching instead of writing. I like my backyard, and even better, my parents’ backyard. But when all else really fails, I’ll jot out whatever in the notes on my phone. I’m picky, but not picky at all. And if I’m on deadline, I will make that deadline come hell or high water or plague or fire or mass destruction.

8. Do the people in your life ever read what you write, or do you tend to not show them? Not fanfiction. I’m very, very protective of my writing in general. My mom was an English teacher (in fact, she was MY English teacher in tenth grade), and even when I was an undergrad getting my B.A. in English comp, she read all my essays with a red pen (after they’d been graded--and I graduated with a 4.0 in my major!). When I published my original short, she was so proud--and then she pointed out a glaring continuity mistake I had missed in about nine million rounds of editing. When I read my own stuff, I only see the mistakes, so I’m also shy about showing it to anyone else. That said, I have about a million partial fics rotting on my hard drive, phone notes, and Google docs, so someone might want to go after them if I ever shuffle off this mortal coil. 

9. What inspires you? Oh my, so much. Music, other people’s stories, history, walks in the woods, the way the lights in the children’s room at the library change color. Literally everything. Probably the better question is who pushes me, and the answer to that is @dammittmarie, who got me into the school’s Dead Poets Society in undergrad (we met at midnight in the basement of the library and damn, we were cool) and the beautiful @rain-and-roses-in-the-city, who puts up with my crazy ideas, my headcanons, lets me play in her sandbox, and sometimes has even seen the partial stories I talked about earlier. 

10. What’s the weirdest character you’ve ever created? Don’t really have one.

11. What’s the most boring character you’ve ever created? All of them, it feels like sometimes :)

12. Do you name your background characters? Do you even have them? I learned a hard lesson about knowing my characters, so now, if I can’t flesh them out, they don’t appear. 

13. Are you one of the writers who writes in symbolism and specifically thinks about things like the color of a hat or that kind of thing? Or do you just pick those things at random? Sometimes. Not always.

14. Are there any authors you feel have influenced your style? Published authors, fanfic authors, ect. I learn things from everywhere. My gold standard for plot twists is the end of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which made me screech out loud on an airplane years ago. I think the Hamilton fandom in particular is full of talent, and the WhamFam especially (you know who you are). And going back to @dammittmarie, she’s the one who made me unashamed of being a whump writer. 

15. Were you a story teller before you could write? Yes! I devoured books as a kid, and handwriting came super hard to me. You couldn’t read my penmanship until I was in junior high, so I learned storytelling in the oral tradition first. 

16. How many characters have you created? Not too many. I tend not to write OCs in fanfiction for fear of them coming out like total, obvious Mary Sues. There are maybe a dozen characters in “Swan Song.”

17. Do your stories tend to take place in the real world or in a fantasy world? Both? Neither?

That depends on the story

18. Do you tend to set your stories in the present or the past or the future? Do you think about when it’s set or does that not factor into the story?

Whatever works on a given day for a given story, I guess. I love, love, love the canon era of Hamilton, but I also like modern AUs if they’re done well. So yeah, whatever works. 

19. What kind of things do you like to write? Poetry? Short stories? Novels? Fanfiction? Children’s Books? Nonfiction? Something else entirely? Fan fiction for pleasure. My professional life includes writing book reviews, blog posts on various topics, and newsletters, so fan fiction is escapism for me.

20. Do you like to do events like NaNoWriMo or the Three Day Novel, or do you prefer to do things at your own pace? Yes and no. In my professional life, I’m a volunteer blogger and reviewer on top of the demands of my day job, so I’m almost always on deadline for something. (Right this second is actually an exception--I wrote two articles this weekend and I’m deadline-free until at least April 1.) I tend to write fan fiction at my own (snail on a strong sedative’s) pace, but I have signed up for NaNoWriMo a few times, and I might do Camp NaNo in April because I have a 5k exchange piece due at the end of the month. And the one piece that I’ve published that wasn’t fan fiction actually got finished because I went to a signing where there were like six people and ended up pouring my heart out to this poor author. I told her I had a story and no idea how to start, and she told me to write 100 words a day for 100 days and tweet her my word count every day. If I missed a day, I had to start over. I made it to 100 days, just over 11,000 words, and that piece is good--you can even buy it on Amazon.