#i literally cannot function properly

[def-not-kaz-brekker]

Okay okay okay but Percy and annabeth in the show Annabeth starts out just following the new kid around you know routine shit and Percy is just so lost he doesn’t have his best friend anymore because he got snitched on his moms fucking gone and he fought a motherfucking Minotaur also apparently his dads a god and then she sees him explode a toilet and okay okay maybe he’s one of the big three let’s see him in action during capture the flag he has no fucking clue what’s going on his only friend is luke he’s in the reject cabin this weird girl is talking him and he has a pen that turns into a sword and also his old teacher is apparently a centaur and the weird girl pulled him away from his friend who told him that the girl is really smart so you know he follows her then she ducking abandons him in the middle of Nowhere and he just chills then he gets attacked by the bully girl and then their team won at capture the flag and then he gets pushed in the water and then he’s claimed by Poseidon and now they’re on a quest and then they get attacked by furies and then there’s Medusa and now they’re friends and now they’re in a train together and then they get attacked by echidna and then Percy is poisoned by the chimera and then Annabeth finds out her mother doesn’t care.

She was embarrassed by annabeths impertinence and so she has to save her two friends, one of which is poisoned. She has to sacrifice herself.

Percy finds out he got Annabeth in trouble. His only friends are gonna die because of him impertinence. He has to sacrifice himself.

A child of the big three sacrifices themself again to save Annabeth and Grover.

[sc3n3kitt3h]

im having a really cool fun depressive episode right now and it started right after artfight began because of fucking course ^_^ it did ^___^ and it killed all my motivation to do anything but now im trying to get better and do things i enjoy again but every time i think about how many awesome attacks ive gotten and the fact that ive only done one really shitty attack this whole time i get all panicky and sometimes i want to throw up because i freak myself out so much. so yeah thats how artfight is going.

i get the motivation to draw sometimes but i cant actually make myself do it because i only want to draw my own ocs and i SHOULD be doing attacks so i get all panicky and guilty whenever i try to sit down and do it

[cedar-sunshine]

my boys are so comically intertwined. They're two halves of one whole but it wasn't a neat split, they're torn remnants of what could have been a person and there's pieces missing and things that they picked up but they're both roughly half of a whole, not cut nearly, but torn apart by hand, sorted into mismatched piles. They were always supposed to be together and they will do everything in their power to avoid this until it happens. It's not sun and moon symbolism, its life and death, day and night, the same font saying two reflected things. They're interchangeable and complete opposites and the exact same

[flashylightz]

HELLO????

Not my wife casually seducing me rn..

ZUHA BETTER STOP BEFORE I POUNCE ON HER 🤭

Jsjsjejsnshiwhduejshsojsufajhs

I love my wives 😊🫶

[boobveins]

is it okay if i pretend you're hyuna

YES. YESYESYES. is it ok if i send u a billion kisses on the forehead. btw putting this as my header i want it to live forever and with that also ur taste anon <3

[def-ace-ing-it]

Ok so my period started right and I’m super anxious about the election so I took my last super strong pain killer from my appendectomy and I totally forgot how weird they make me feel

[genderqueerdykes]

had the consult for my gallbladder surgery. the doctor told me i need to "lose 10 - 15 pounds" before they'll perform the surgery on me, and that I would need to wait 2 - 3 months before they would schedule it. i told her i have PCOS which makes it difficult to lose weight. she told me that does happen, and offered to refer me to a bariatric surgeon who is used to bigger bodies who could perform the gallbladder removal instead. i asked her for the referral to them instead

i was very angry at her for this, as 10 - 15 pounds do not make any difference when you are 300 lbs. my weight fluctuates between 280 - 340 lbs depending greatly on what i've eaten, how much i exercise, and so on. this will also vary greatly depending on if the stone is blocking my gallbladder completely or partially- if it's fully blocking the neck of my gallbladder, i cannot get enough digestive juices into my stomach to properly digest my food, so i will begin violently vomiting to get the undigested food out, and to get bile flowing into my stomach again. i begin to lose tons of weight when this happens, and i put it back on during the periods where i can get enough bile in my stomach to properly digest my food.

i can't digest my food properly. eating "healthier" will not change this- i can't digest food at all, period. healthy or unhealthy, i can't digest anything, because a good half of my digestive juices are completely missing from my guts. there is a functional issue with the way my guts work, of course i will lose weight drastically and put it back on at times. of course the issues will be episodic.

both her and the student that was working with me kept assuming that i said that my pain got worse after "high fat" meals. both of them put this in my mouth-

the student did it first. she asked when the pain gets worse and i said sporadically, but sometimes after i eat. she literally asked me "so you said it gets worse after fatty meals, right?"

i got frustrated and said "no, it's really random." i didn't get to tell her that raw leafy vegetables and lightly steamed or cooked vegetables make me vomit. broccoli and cauliflower that aren't heavily cooked, salads, raw vegetables, lightly cooked carrots, applesauce and apples in general are all problem foods.

the doctor then came in and said "it gets worse after high fat meals, right? you said that" and i went, again, "no it just kinda happens."

i don't even eat a high fat diet. i cook at home now for every meal now that i have all the tools i need to do so. i make rice, fish, pasta, and certain vegetables that i can digest like potatoes, sweet potatoes, onions, mushrooms, and so on. i eat bread, seeds, nuts, dried fruits, and drink oatmilk. i don't eat land meats, eggs, or dairy. i don't have any of those things. i do eat french fries and fish sticks, but not for every single meal. i don't eat chips because they're too salty and irritate my stomach. i don't eat candy or sweets unless the food bank delivers them to me. i don't eat much sugar other than pancakes and certain fruits

she wouldn't listen to me and went "well when you eat fatty meals, your gallbladder has to contract more and it can cause you a lot of pain." you would not believe how many times she came back to "you need to eat a lower fat diet." "the pain gets worse after you eat a high fat meal, so eat lower fat meals and your pain will go down." "just eat a lower fat diet and it'll help."

i just kind of sighed. there were tears in my eyes. i felt defeated. they made a bunch of assumptions just because i was sitting there, being fat. i was wearing long sleeves due to it being cold and they didn't get to see that i have a lot of muscle in my body mass. quite a lot. i wanted to tell them that i'm on testosterone and physically active when and where possible, and that i frequently lift heavy objects and move, but i never got a chance. i wanted to tell them my BMI isn't what they think it is, but i just didn't bother to try

i despise that people assume that fat people are fat because they eat "unhealthy" foods. i ate high fat foods for a few months while i was homeless because i didn't have the resources to cook every single meal. it affected my liver, i'm dealing with some fatty liver. but my gallbladder has more important issues in the form of the literal stone inside. she would not stop pushing for me to eat lower fat meals. all because i was sitting there, existing, as a fat person. i wish i would've told her i can only eat fish and plant matter

i don't understand how a patient telling you they're vomiting and can't keep down certain foods does not sound like a more pressing issue than an arbitrary number. weight as a number means nothing, it tells you nothing about that person's actual body composition. i have trauma with vomiting and yet i'm going to have to keep doing it anyway despite the fact that it could kill me via dehydration or if i just. can't stop

either way i'm very unhappy with result as i already waited for a month for this consult. now i have to wait for a referral for another surgeon to go through, and to do the consult with them, too. all while being in pain and having GI issues the entire time. just because a surgeon doesn't want to take the time to learn how to operate on fat bodies. i'm tired. what a joke

[tacobacoyeet]

stanfordish!young!art x pregnant! reader

had this in my head during class and typed it out on my phone LOL tw smut!!!!

-you don’t even get the words out properly. you just hold up the test with trembling hands and whisper, “art…”

-he stares at it like it’s a bomb for a full ten seconds. frozen. blinking. absolutely no thoughts behind his eyes

-and then he goes, in the softest, most heartbroken voice, “are you okay?”

-immediately pulls you into him, hands cradling the back of your head like you’re made of glass. “are we okay? are you scared? baby, what do you need?”

-he starts crying before you even do. like not full sobbing, but his face just crumples. “we made a person,” he says with this weird half-laugh, half-sob. “holy shit, we made a person.”

-he icks you the hell out LOL. you tell him he's being fucking weird. i would

-anyway. goes into overdrive within hours. makes a doctor’s appointment, orders five different prenatal books, texts his coach “i won’t be at training today” with no explanation

-so gentle with you in the hours after. tucks you into bed even though it’s 3 p.m., curls up next to you and keeps whispering the sweetest shit

-he’s so emotionally overwhelmed he starts cleaning. like aggressively. it’s the nesting instinct, except it’s his nesting instinct and it’s immediate. reorganizing drawers. researching vitamins. mopping the floor at 2 a.m.

-he starts writing in a little notebook he keeps hidden in his tennis bag. letters to the baby. day one is just: “i found out about you today. i hope you have her eyes. i hope I deserve you.”

-doesn't stop touching you. hand on your thigh, fingers laced with yours, palm against your stomach even when there's no bump yet. just needs the reassurance that you're both real

-you catch him staring off into space later that week, and when you ask what's wrong he just says, "i’m not scared of being a dad. i’m scared of not being good enough"

-he gets super still after that. you pull him close and kiss his forehead. he cries again

-and then, because he’s art, he makes a stupid joke to cut the tension: “this kid is going to be a wreck”

-but later that night, when he thinks you’re asleep, he whispers against your stomach: “I’m so glad it’s you. I’m so glad it’s us.”

-he literally cannot function if you lift even a finger. he will take your shoes off, fluff your pillow, and freak out if you so much as bend over

-“you’re pregnant,” he says with that tortured puppy look, “why would you even think about picking up your backpack?”

-the moment you start showing? he’s done for. like physically incapable of focusing on anything else when you’re in the room. wide eyes, slack jaw, hand always gravitating to your belly like it’s magnetic

-“you’re growing a whole human,” he whispers one night in the dark, tracing the swell of your stomach. “that’s literally god-tier behavior.”

-he talks to the bump like it’s his tiny best friend. “hey, it’s dad. your mom won’t let me feed her pickles and whipped cream at the same time. help me out here.”

-so proud of your changing body. like obsessed. “you look insane right now. angelic. powerful. absolutely unreal.” and then he has to sit down because he’s overwhelmed. just a white boy overwhelmed with the power of female anatomy culture

-he lowk becomes the pregnancy police. “did you drink enough water today?” “have you peed recently?” “i brought you three snacks. no, I insist.”

-also soooooo emo about it. like you’ll find him just staring at the ultrasound photo with glassy eyes, and when you ask what’s wrong he’s like, “nothing. it’s just… you’re my family now”

-once cried during a prenatal yoga class because you looked “so peaceful and maternal” while doing a cat-cow stretch. you had to bribe him with froyo to stop sniffling

-has a playlist titled 'baby bonding'. plays it while reading aloud to your belly like it’s storytime at the library

-constantly kissing your belly. at home. in public. before bed. before class. “you’re already the best thing i’ve ever made,” he tells your bump, and then panics because you heard him and now he’s blushing

-absolutely cannot handle how tired you get. if you so much as yawn, he’s tucking you in, canceling plans, whispering “my poor baby” like you just ran a marathon

-not above weaponizing how hot you are. you’ll catch him staring and be like “what?” and he’ll go “nothing. you just look…really good pregnant. like, devastatingly hot.” (and then trip over something. so sweet)

-insists on being the one to rub your back, massage your feet, bring you snacks. feels like he needs to earn the dad title

-and even though he’s overwhelmed and scared sometimes, the way he looks at you, like you’re the beginning and end of every good thing in his life— never falters

-he gets extra needy at night. being close to you, touching you, kissing you. sometimes he just lies between your thighs, head resting on your belly, whispering nonsense and kissing your skin

-you can tell it gets to him when you moan, even from something simple like a massage. he tries to play it cool but his eyes darken, his voice gets low: “you’re gonna drive me insane”

-the first time you have sex after the bump really shows, he goes so slow it’s almost unbearable. he keeps asking if you’re okay, if anything hurts, if he can keep going. you have to pull him in by the collar and kiss him breathless just to shut him up

-worships your body like it’s sacred. palms sliding reverently over your hips, your chest, your belly. tells you over and over how beautiful you are, how full of life, how lucky he is to even touch you

-sometimes he just wants to watch. you ride him slow while he groans under you, hands gripping your thighs, utterly entranced. “look at you,” he whispers. “you’re unreal. you’re everything.”

-he’ll fuck you with one hand on your belly and the other tangled in your hair, eyes locked on yours the whole time. it always ends in whispered praise, shaky breathing, and him clutching you like you’ll disappear

-can you guys tell i've been ovulating this week

[meazalykov]

yearning

sydney lohmann x f!australian!reader

warnings: no smut but it is very suggestive.

you’re tearing down the wing with ball seeming to be glued to your pink covered foot as bayern’s red and white streaks past along with lyon’s all white. after passing the ball up to lea from the right wing, you look over at sydney in the midfield.

something inside of you wants to call her name, not for the play, but because it’s been festering in your chest for months, a weight you can’t spit out. 

you won’t. 

you never do.

all of your bayern teammates notice the yearning clawing inside you, shredding your calm as your eyes give your feelings away. sometimes it is worse since you’re not one of the germans at bayern which means that national breaks are a cruel exile to australia. 

you’ll fly back alone, no shared hotel rooms, no stolen glances on planes with her. every touch, syd’s fingers grazing yours passing a bottle, her shoulder bumping you in a huddle…sears you raw. 

you see it in her too in the way her eyes linger when you tie your pink colored boots, her jaw clenches when you joke with klara or literally any other one of your teammates. everyone is done with it. georgia groans when you stare too long. klara mutters “just ‘do it’ already” when sydney lingers too close, adjusting your sleeves of your kit jersey for no reason. 

the air between you chokes them, but neither of you breaks.

this game right now is against lyon. it is the champions league quarterfinal. you’re in sync with the girl in midfield. yes, you and syd with passes clicking like you share a brain, but it doesn’t quiet the ache. 

after the 70th minute a lyon player tackles you, too close, her hand brushing your arm as she rises. she murmurs something, eyes glinting, playful. 

“you need to watch yourself, sexy”

what the fuck? anyways, you ignore whatever the lyon player is saying and jog back to position. however, nearly half of the pitch witnessed that interaction and the way that lyon’s defensive player checks you out. 

sydney’s stare burns your skin. you glance over and her face is confused, lips pressed thin, eyes dark with something feral. 

the whistle ends it, 2-1 lyon, and you’re drained from the loss.in the locker room, teammates scatter to showers and physios or just chatter. 

sydney’s silent, packing her bag with sharp, angry jerks. you wait, heart pounding, until it’s just you two inside of the locker room when everyone leaves. 

“syd,” you say, voice scraped raw. 

she doesn’t look up so you say, “what’s going on?”

you get silence with just the rustle of her bag. 

your chest tightens, yearning curdling into something sharp. 

you step closer to her sitting figure

“talk to me. i can’t do this if you shut me out.”

syd’s hands freeze. when she looks at you, her eyes are a storm. 

“why don’t you go entertain your lyon friend?” her voice is low, biting, laced with something that stings.

you blink, thrown. 

“what? i didn’t even…”

“don’t,” she cuts you off, standing, close enough you smell her sweat, her shampoo, feel the heat radiating off her. 

“i saw it. we all did.”

anger surges, hot and reckless, “you think i give a single shit about some random player? i didn’t even hear what she said mate. i was more concerned about the team, especially you.”

syd’s breath hitches, but she doesn’t fold. 

“then why does it feel like you’re open to everyone else except for me?” her voice cracks, raw, exposing the hurt beneath, “i’m going insane wanting you, and you’re just there like it doesn’t affect you.”

you snap. 

“doesn’t affect me?” you’re yelling now, voice bouncing off the lockers. 

“i can’t fucking function around you, syd. every time you’re close, it’s like i cannot even function properly since i get so awkward. i go home, i lie there, thinking of you, hating myself because i can’t just say it. i need you, and it’s breaking me.”

silence slams down, heavy, charged. syd’s eyes search yours, wide, unguarded, and you’re so close now, noses brushing, breaths tangling. 

“what do you mean, you need me?” she whispers, not soft, but urgent, a demand carved from desperation.

you swallow, throat tight. 

“i see you every day in training or at klara’s place and it’s like a knife in my chest because i can’t touch you or love you the way i want to syd. i mean i’m in love with you, and it’s fucking destroying me.”

she makes a sound which is some half-gasp, half-sob and then her hands are on your face, rough, trembling. 

“you absolute idiot,” she says, voice shattering, “i’ve been in love with you since you came here.”

time stops as you crash into her, or she pulls you… whatever it was it’s a blur, but your lips meet, fierce, all teeth and starvation, months of want spilling over. syd’s mouth is warm, tasting of mint, and you groan, low and ragged, as she presses herself closer. 

you back her into the lockers, metal clanging, her hands sliding under your shirt, nails biting your skin. you hiss, wanting the sting, wanting everything she could give you. you tug her ponytail free, her hair spilling wild, and she moans which is a a wrecked, desperate sound when you pull it, just enough.

“god,” she gasps, lips grazing your jaw, and you kiss her harder, swallowing her words. your hands roam, tracing the hard lines of her waist, the curve of her hips, and she arches, all heat, all need. 

it’s not enough. you could drown in her and still want more. syd’s fingers dig into your back, and when you nip her lip, she growls, pulling you tighter, smirking when you shudder. 

“so needy,” she murmurs, but her eyes are soft, like you’re something sacred.

you break away, panting, forehead pressed to hers, eyes locked. 

“i hated seeing her near you and the way that her eyes trailed down your body,” she admits, voice raw, “i wanted to break something.”

you laugh, breathless, and kiss her neck, slow, deliberate, feeling her pulse jump. 

“i didn’t see her, syd. just you.”

she shudders, hands gripping your hips, and you’re kissing again, slower, deeper, like you’re unraveling each other. the german’s tongue brushes yours, and you feel it everywhere, heat pooling low, your skin buzzing. 

you want to climb inside her, lose yourself in every inch. syd’s hands slide lower, teasing, and you whimper, helpless, as she chuckles against your mouth, dark and knowing.

unfortunately… reality creeps in. your teammates could walk in, staff could interrupt. you pull back, gasping. 

“we can’t… not here,” you say, but your hands stay on her, refusing to let go.

she nods, but her thumb traces your lip, and you nearly cave. 

“tonight,” she says, voice like iron. “come to my place.”

your heart lurches. 

“tonight,” you echo, a vow.

at least the yearning now it has a place to land after being in the air for so long, ever since you joined the team only a year prior.

masterlist

[azdoine]

John is hiding two Resurrection Beasts, not just one.

This was originally going to be a much longer and fancier argument, but I don’t have it in me to dress it up properly, so I’ll just pepe silvia this out

What impact does a Resurrection Beast actually have from within the River?

Answer: an apocalyptic and defining one.

I think we’re all on the same page at this point that Tamsyn Muir loves Foreshadowing Literally Every Plot Twist From As Early On As Is Physically Possible, so for posterity, here’s what Palamedes and Harrow first have to say about the River Bubble phenomenon in HTN:

“You cannot build in the River! It is a dimension of perpetual flux—defined space is nonsense here—you might as well try to wall off time with bricks and mortar.” “Yes. Sort of. But by our very presence in the River, we briefly exert space on non-space. Think of how, when you blow air into water, you make bubbles. The water can’t be where the air is. It’s like the air temporarily enforces its own rules over a localised area.” -HTN ch. 33

The given impossibility of carving lasting form into the River seemingly leads directly into some of the biggest open questions as of the end of NTN - i.e., what is the Tower, how is it related to John’s cosmic imperium, and how has it enabled him to wall off time with stone and mortar after all?

However, this is misdirection. While the River Bubbles created by the presence of Palamedes and Harrow clearly remain fleeting and unstable, NTN explicitly shows us the existence of entities capable of pushing back against the River with far more force.

Pyrrha said, “This is impossible. We should be flayed alive,” and Paul said, “Yeah.” Nona tried to explain. “The water doesn’t want to touch us, that’s all.” Crown was saying urgently, “Judith—stop, come back,” and Nona vaguely heard unbuckling; and then shadows fell over her, people standing behind her seat. The Captain’s voice was like old teeth. “He left them too long—you left them too long, my salt thing.” “You are here,” said Nona, finding talking was hard, that her voice sounded drowsy in her own ears. “Okay, good—the water really won’t touch us. I was worried about our back end [of our truck].” -NTN ch. 30

The possessed bodies of Harrowhark Nonagesimus and Judith Deuteros - both of whom now carry the spiritual influence of Resurrection Beasts in whole or in part - actively function to repel the waters of the River such that Nona worries about min-maxing the coverage of their reality fields. If a human’s presence exerts some space on non-space, the presence of a Resurrection Beast supercavitates against the water.

Kiriona is also extremely explicit that the Tower serves much the same cavitation-function in the space of the River, ameliorating the existence-sapping pull of the waters:

“The ride?” said Palamedes. “Wait. You mean you both dropped through the River? In that shuttle?” “Can’t be,” said Pyrrha, who was watching the Prince narrowly. “Not anymore. You’ve got a soul attached to you, kid … or part of one, at least. John would have had to go with you to stop it being stripped bare.” The corpse prince tilted her head to one side, like a curious bird. “You haven’t been in the River lately, have you?” she said. “What’s that meant to mean?” “Guess you’ll find out at some point,” said the Prince. -NTN ch. 25

Pyrrha sucked in her breath, and she said: “What the fuck is that?” “Told you so,” said Kiriona Gaia. As the megatruck spun around, the wide rippling grey waters resolved into something totally different. There was a big structure standing up out of the River—that water was the River, after all—a tall, cold cylinder of what was unmistakably stone. -NTN ch. 30

In other words, we don’t need to postulate a new category of power to explain the Tower: we can be fairly certain that it’s one of the world-body-layers of an as-yet-unidentified Resurrection Beast, for whom an anatomy shaped like a heaven-piercing tower would make it no more alien than the rest of its peers.

That being said, it’s not a difficult guess at this point to match the anatomy inside the River with the outward-facing creature in physical reality - the Tower’s aesthetics are strongly reminiscent of John the half-RB and his literary cant, but John has been active for ten thousand years, and there’s only one Resurrection Beast who starts waking up at the same time as the Tower rises.

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side    Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,    In her sepulchre there by the sea—    In her tomb by the sounding sea. -Annabel Lee

He said, I didn’t stick my thumb in my mouth. Had more sense than that. Fuck knows what would’ve happened if I tried to absorb you all the way; I probably would’ve burnt to death. But I needed a house to put you in, if I wasn’t going to put all of you in me… He said, From my blood and bone and vomit I conjured up a beautiful labyrinth to house you in. I was terrified you’d find some way to escape before I was done. -John 1:20 (NTN)

Before I get to the question of the relationship between the Tower and the Devils, I want to emphasize the significance of this explanatory stance: the Tower’s existence, as a lynchpin nailed through the unreality of the River, is no different from the influence that Palamedes and Harrow are able to exert in their respective River bubbles.

That is, the Tower is larger, but not qualitatively unique. A RB’s force of repulsion against unreality is exactly akin to a human soul’s repulsion against unreality, and both of them give rise to their respective reality bubbles. “Pushing back on the water” is exactly the metaphor for existence in the River that Palamedes takes for granted, and which Nona and the Tower both exert effortlessly.

And here we have to take a step back and ask: just what in the River is really ‘natural’? Does the subjective reality of the River even have objective features to begin with?

“This is Canaan House,” you said. “Moment of death,” he agreed. You said, “The barrier begins where your line of sight ended. It’s derived from everything you saw.” He said, “And it doesn’t change … the sea is still. It looks like it’s moving, but it’s not—it’s like one of those holographic pictures where turning it up and down lets you see another part of the image. There is nothing here, and that nothing never changes.” -HTN ch. 33

In the dream, they were hiking up a big hill of brown, sun-blasted grass, crunching like paper beneath their feet. Below them the waters were rising, but they ascended without hurry, unpanicked by that bubbling, churning, brown morass… The clouds were strange, and in the far distance, a twister danced on the neon surface of the sea. -John 15:23 (NTN)

In the dream the waters kept rising. They started making a hut at the top of the hill. Bodies were bobbing up and down in the water. He was scared of that—he was always scared of the water—and he made the waters go away for a while, and he raised up some parts of the earth that had been covered by sea. -John 19:18 (NTN)

I would venture a guess that the answer is no - that the organizing metaphor of death as flood waters and rotting oceans is actually being imposed by the expectations and experiences of the undead Alecto, just as Harrow-the-Lyctor exerted a uncontrollable subconscious pull over the world of spirit.

Exactly how many Resurrection Beasts are there?

The first time TLT raises this question, it explicitly lampshades that there’s a loophole in the final accounting for this metric: it wants you to pay attention.

“How many revenants are there?” You prepared for an astronomical number. The Body raised its eyebrows when the Emperor Undying said, “Three. “There were nine. We called them by number. Over ten thousand years, we have managed to take out a grand total of five.” Before you could do anything—exclaim, or question his mathematics, which did not hold up even on first acquaintance—he did something dreadful. -HTN ch. 2

Five casualties plus three survivors is eight, one less than the given total of nine. With the benefit of hindsight from Nona or a little forward thinking from eagle-eyed first-time readers, we know that John is equivocating because he doesn’t want to talk about Alecto, who was neither alive nor dead at the time, and who obviously the missing ninth Resurrection Beast of the Earth.However, Nona gives us another accounting problem:

He said, I took you into myself and we became one. He said, I bit through the sun first. It’s human nature. That started things going. Once you take down the sun, you’re cooking with gas, pardon the pun. I sliced through Venus, Mercury, Mars … by that point a couple of the tugs had already launched through the Kuiper. I had to kill Jupiter and Saturn in a fucking hurry. You and I went full fucking Hungry Caterpillar. We took Uranus … Neptune … crunched down Pluto … found every satellite and craft, reached in, crunched up all the humans, moved on. -John 1:20

John kills ten celestial bodies, not nine - nine planets, plus the Sun. TLT is very clear that stars are alive enough to slay and reanimate with necromancy, and thus that they should properly be alive enough to leave Revenants behind upon their violent thanergetic death.

Moreover, the metaphors and apologetics John clings to in this section - the ways in which he talks around his crimes against the Dominicus - are extremely loaded: he can’t stop himself from equivocating between Alecto and the Sun.

He said, You were screaming. I wanted you to stop, I wanted … I wanted you. I wanted you like a caveman wants a wildfire … or the sun.  I realised you were too much for me. This is the problem, the incorporation, this is the hardest part … It’s the human instinct, to take. He said, As the world went up I remade us both. I hid me in you … I hid you in me. And when we were together … once the shaman had claimed the sun … I became God. He said, I bit through the sun first. It’s human nature. -John 1:20

Augustine is certain that John can’t be drawing any power from Dominicus, and the rest of the story seems largely in agreement with his conclusions. However, John is clearly able to draw power from Alecto’s soul despite the fact that the First House is a corpse. If John were also supping on the dead soul of the sun in order to reanimate the sun’s corpse, that would be entirely compatible with the observed flow of energy from out of John and into the star of Dominicus, and it would resolve all uncertainty about his and Alecto’s absurd jump from Kardashev I to Kardashev II.

Then, the only missing planks of this wild hypothesis are: Why didn’t the Resurrection Beast of the sun flee the Dominicus system with the rest of the RBs? Where could John possibly be keeping a third keystone of his Perfect Lyctorhood? And, doesn’t this make the puzzle of John’s powers more complicated than it really needs to be?

Whence the Sun?

As for the first question, I believe John and Abigail both have their answers for this:

“The only sure way to banish a revenant is to destroy the physical anchor it inhabits before it can escape the shell. Inanimate objects can be destroyed; corpses too, if you remove the brain. But, Harrow, we have other problems on our hands,” said Abigail. -HTN ch. 49

You said, “So if you die, the Houses die with you. The star warming our system fails, and—becomes a gravitational well, as I understand it?” “Yes. A black hole, like the one that took out Cyrus,” he said. -HTN ch. 37

“It’s not that getting rid of the corpus wouldn’t be useful,” said the Emperor. “It would be. When Cyrus drew the corpus into a black hole, Ulysses said that it was the simplest thing in the world to dispose of the brain, that it fell into a dormant state, and he could bring it down to a stoma singlehanded…” -HTN ch. 36

When we see Harrow flip planets on-screen, the process of apopneumatic shock which blows the soul of the Beast from its corpse is not instantaneous. In other words, if a highly energetic system such as a star were to immediately die, its corpse might collapse or detonate faster than its soul could possibly escape through a thanergetic link to another vessel. The Resurrection Beast of the sun may literally be stillborn, severed from its own ties to undeath and left vulnerable for John to seize it - a vast and spiritual world-body lost somewhere within the afterlife.

And there is, in fact, another candidate for this entity - another ‘objective’ component of the underworld that we can map to the ruin of the sun, just as we can map the Tower and the entire aquatic River to Alecto.

“It is the mouth to Hell,” said God. He said, “A genuinely chaotic space—chaos in the meaning of the abyss as well as unfathomable … located at the bottom of the River. The Riverbed is studded with mouths that open at proximity of Resurrection Beasts, and no ghosts venture deeper than the bathyrhoic layer. Anyone who has entered a stoma has never returned.” -HTN ch. 36

Outside—another kilometre down, maybe—was the pale belly of the River, studded with rocky promontories. And right at the bottom—the water was churning. The station tilted forward, and I could see clearly. A hole had opened. It was big enough to swallow up the whole of Drearburh and have room to spare. It was a huge, hideous, dark expanse, and it had seething, weird edges; it took the lights pattering over them for me to see that the edges of the hole were enormous human teeth. Each one must’ve been six bodies high and two bodies wide, with the dainty scalloped edges of incisors. The teeth shivered and trembled, like the hole was slavering. And that hole had nothing in it; that hole was blacker than space, that hole was an eaten-away tunnel of reality. -HTN ch. 52

“They concoct their own vengeance,” said the Captain. “Their justice is not my justice. Their water is not my water. I came to help. I am made a mockery. The danger is upon you, and you do not even know … they are coming out of their tower, salt thing. There is a hole at the bottom of their tower. I will pull their teeth. I will make it blank for you.” -NTN ch. 27

A standard interpretation of Varun’s words is that the Tower itself is as a prison containing the Devils, and there’s a ‘hole’ in the sense of an aperture which now allows them to escape. Yes, but: the hole is specifically attributed to the bottom of the Tower because the spiritual embodiment of the black hole of Dominicus is spatially located at the base of the Tower. The hole is the Stoma, which Alecto has been placed to help seal and tap into - a Tower by definition rises up and over the bottom of the world.

We can say with some confidence, just on aesthetic grounds, that is an extremely strong connection between the Stoma and John’s power. The power of the Eighth House, which “sucks at the Stoma like a teat”, shares a shadow of the intensely oral, penetrating, incandescent burning glow of John’s transcendent necromancy:

As he faded, the pale Silas incandesced. He glowed with an irradiated shimmer, iridescent white, and the air began to taste of lightning. Gideon felt an internal tug, like a blanket being pulled off in the cold. It was a little bit like the sensation back in Response (which was, what, a thousand years ago?)—something deep inside her being prodded in its tender spot. But it also wasn’t, because it hurt like hell. It was like having a headache inside her teeth. -GTN ch. 17

Silas slammed his fists on the ground. The air was choked from Ianthe’s lungs. Her mouth and skin puckered and withered: she stopped, awkward, stiff, eyes bulging in surprise. The remnants of blood rose from the floor as pale smoke, trailing heavenward all around them. For a moment everything was blanched clean and luminously white. -GTN ch. 34

And God said, “Stop.” The world slowed down. You stopped, sitting upright in your chair: your bones somehow rigid and still, and your flesh chilly and rigid around those bones. The shrapnel spray from the Saint of Duty did not stop. But what remained of him stopped too, half man, half rupture—his prurient details hot and white, naked insides clothed with the sinus-drying burst of the power of God. -HTN ch. 25

I’m not sure that John has entered a full Lyctorhood arrangement with a second Resurrection Beast. However, I certainly believe that he’s constantly siphoning the RB of the sun, and that he’s permanently shaped Alecto to help him siphon and subjugate the sun, in much the same fashion that the Eighth House uses its own cavaliers to suck at the Stoma - yet incalculably vaster, for Alecto’s world-soul is both an impossibly vast channel and likely more suited to metabolizing the power of the sun than any other planetary Resurrection Beast.

Likewise, because he has no personal connection to the sun, I suspect John is using it not just as a punitive measure, but also as a proxy to extend his Lyctoral well - he can feed countless billions of people to the stillborn RB of the sun, dump smaller RBs inside, let them render down into an insane soul melange hive - teeming with demonic Heralds bursting to leap free through the first thanergetic link or solar convergence they can find - and capture the energies released by their lysis without having to devalue the meaning of the priceless relationship he thinks he shares with Alecto.

TL;DR - Hell is the ghost of a black hole, John is using Alecto to perform the Penrose Process on it

[pulsingvoid]

i really dont feel qualified enough to speak out about anything im still too tired and scared and full of both warranted and misplaced guilt to properly function but i do need to express one thing. which is that we have got to find a way to talk about women and feminism and misogyny and men and the patriarchy again. we cannot go on pretending misogyny isnt as rampant as ever, more rampant than its been in a long time, and that it isnt just as much a danger as all the other fucking dangers hovering over us at any given minute. letting terfs hog feminist spaces is one of the worst things we did and im tired of blaming the terfs for it when thats just as much on us as it is on them. we are letting ourselves down and we are letting trans women down we are so segregated and so distractible we tiptoe around everything we have fucked our solidarity to hell im sick of biting my tongue on women's issues im sick of being nervous to voice my opinions to other women irl and im sick of having to check feminist blogs on here to see if theyre terfs before i interact im sick of people nitpicking each other's language because certain things sound like "terf dogwhistles" like yeah no shit they do because they weaponized them! theyre controlling the entire fucking narrative! at this point i'd rather see flawed feminism than none at all maybe im crazy but i am trying to have some fucking faith in other women and i know how i feel and how much i love my trans sisters and my trans friends and how safe i feel in trans spaces because im becoming a bigger and more gender nonconforming dyke with every breath i take and i dont care how it comes off to strangers online im gonna rebuild my community and im gonna talk more about being a woman and all that entails and what it means to me. and if any of this spoke to you in any way i am literally begging you to find a way to do the same

[dreamdazedworld]

YANDERE! BLADE BRAINROT (GENSHIN! YOUKAI! READER)

Sypnosis: Some thoughts about how Yandere! Blade would act with Youkai! Darling, and some sprinkles of needy, clingy and touch starved Yandere! Blade just absolutely feral at the little things his darling does LOL

Note(s): Third post (yippie), I might change my blog theme to a more Yingxing styled one because I love him <3 I might make this Genshin! Youkai! Reader a series with how much I’m writing about them…. I swear, I’m posting my brainrots every single day recently LOL (Might also drop off some Genshin crumbs about either Kinich or Kazuha if one of them comes home, if none of them comes well I’ll let y’all choose who’s it going to be)

Warning(s): Word dump, Yandere content (do not interact if you feel uncomfortable with these type of content!!!), Blade is feral and we love him like that, darling has Stockholm syndrome (I think), not really because they already had feelings before they were forced to stay next to Blade, size kink briefly mentioned (as a joke!!!)

・My view on this Yandere! Blade

I don’t think that I talked on what exactly Yandere! Blade with a Youkai! Reader is going to be like, so let me start with how Yandere! Blade is going to act like with a Genshin! Youkai! Darling from this post. In my eyes, I see him as an Overprotective and Removal type of Yandere, with strong traits of a Territorial type. As Yingxing, he has lost his darling once, and he would never want to experience that again. Living without them at his side is like living without a heart, without darling, everything is suddenly so monochrome and empty, so much so that it drove him to the brink of insanity.

Once he reunites with his darling, he’s never letting go (literally). Please don’t blame him though, Blade does try to give his darling some space, but he can’t help it when his arms snake around your waist to hug you, afraid that if he lets go, you’ll disappear on him again! Blade will not hesitate to take care of people who he deems as ‘threats’, once coming home covered in blood from head to toe, nor will he tolerate anyone else other than him (and maaaybe the rest of the Stellaron Hunters) to be near you within a 10 kilometer radius. Easily jealous as well, so don’t be surprised when your grumpy cat decides to start biting you all over the place.

To wrap things up about my view on this Blade, as a Yandere, he’s not too freaky, maybe a bit feral, but that’s just it. It’s caused from his fear of losing his darling once again, whether that be fate’s cruel joke or be it by darling hating him as well, Blade just cannot function properly without you. He treats you like a porcelain doll that can break at any moment, but on the downside, he’s desperate and clingy as hell (touch starved from all the years Blade was alone hehe we love a bit of needy Blade <3)

・Little things that darling does which makes him go feral

Blade will love everything about you, but I like imagining Youkai! Darling to be significantly shorter than Blade (might just be because I’m tiny and wants to be held). He has those moments of cute aggression when darling has to get on tiptoes to grab something that he may or may not have purposely placed barely where they can reach. (He has a size kink that’s for sure hdjfhdhdhf)

Absolutely will go feral if darling has to forcefully make him bend down to give him a quick peck, or when darling subconsciously wraps multiple tails around his arm and waist, his heartbeat accelerates when darling’s there (to a concerning pace, really). Aaa imagine if darling tugs on his sleeve, fidgeting when they want a kiss like ughhh my heart <3

[gunsandspaceships]

Tony was disabled and suffered from chronic pain

Tony may not have looked like a disabled person, but not all disabled people need wheelchairs, canes, or hearing aids. Some simply live in constant pain, cannot breathe properly, cannot sleep due to nightmares, or may die without medication or a medical device. All this applies to him.

Tony has suffered from many conditions, many physical and mental traumas. I will describe the most important here (in chronological order), but some things like broken bones, cuts, bruises, etc. happened to him regularly and their impact on his health is unknown.

Blast injuries

You can find details here.

This type of injury has happened to Tony many times, as explosions are not uncommon for superheroes. In his case (he's not an enhanced Homo sapiens, we remember that, right?) they were more harmful than for many others, like Thor, Hulk or Steve.

We can't say exactly how these injuries affected his health, but they couldn't disappear without a trace. What he could have been left with: damaged hearing, vision, brain damage, respiratory system and blood vessels and heart damage, damage to muscles, liver, spleen and intestines.

Shrapnel

And here comes chronic pain, and our first case of overt disability - shrapnel in Tony's chest and most likely right in the heart. Some shrapnel may have remained in other parts of his body, such as his arms and legs, but this was not mentioned in the movies.

Shrapnel can cause harm in two ways:

mechanical (cuts tissue - leads to scarring, puts pressure on nerves and blood vessels, causing pain and ischemia - reduces blood and oxygen flow to parts of the body);

chemical (metal ions can be released from the fragments and travel through the bloodstream, affecting other parts of the body). Many forms of shrapnel contain uranium, which is highly toxic and can lead to health problems, including kidney damage, liver cancer, and bone cancer. It may also cause high blood pressure, autoimmune disorders, and loss of reproductive function.

Other complications may include infections and chronic inflammation around the fragments.

In Tony's case, he received at least three unpleasant gifts from the shrapnel: chronic pain, heart damage, and the constant possibility of death if the medical device that literally keeps him alive stops working or is taken away from him.

So yes, guys, shrapnel is already enough to consider him disabled. But this is just the beginning of the list.

Arrhythmia

Here is a post entirely dedicated to Tony and his arrhythmia.

To summarize: Tony had a severe arrhythmia (most likely Sick Sinus Syndrome) that required a pacemaker and an ICD (implantable cardioverter defibrillator) powered by an arc reactor. Possible causes of this condition include the blast injury, electric damage from water torture with an electromagnet in chest, and heart damage.

This is the second case of disability and constant mortal danger for Tony - just like with the shrapnel, without the pacemaker he would have died, and even sooner than without the electromagnet that stops the shrapnel. And let's not forget the risk of sudden death associated with arrhythmias.

What Tony could experience on a daily basis due to his arrhythmia: exercise intolerance (he stopped running and surfing after Afghanistan), exhaustion, shortness of breath, chest pain, fainting (among all the Avengers, Tony lost consciousness most often), lightheadedness or dizziness, heart palpitations. Arrhythmia is a thing that usually gets worse over years.

Reactor

Hard stuff. Here you can see why.

The damage done to Tony's body in order to implant the reactor was enormous. With all things considered, it is not necessarily a deadly trauma, but certainly a debilitating one.

This case is the third obvious disability and the main source of chronic pain that Tony suffered from 2008 to 2014.

What he definitely experienced every minute of those years: pain, exhaustion and depression due to this, discomfort and pressure in the chest, difficulty breathing (for which his suits contained supplemental oxygen), limited upper body mobility and decreased muscle strength, sensitivity to ambient temperature (the metal would conduct the temperature of the environment and could become too hot or too cold. That's why he would prefer to stay in California until his surgery at the end of IM3 and not move to New York yet - because of the cold winters).

Potential complications that required Tony to constantly monitor his health included: collapsed lung, asthma, chest infections, chest trauma, thoracic lymphedema, blood clots.

He would also be prone to respiratory infections, which could easily lead to complications. For example, a common cold would most likely develop into bronchitis and/or pneumonia. That is why it is very dangerous for him to be around sick people.

The device could also pose a real danger if it encounters another strong magnet (no MRI for Tony!).

Tony always had to be on medications to help him breath (oxygen, asthma inhalers when he picks up a virus or his airway gets irritated, nebulizer treatment), antibiotics due to weakened immune system, painkillers as needed, regular beta blockers to reduce risk of arrhythmias and sudden death.

PTSD

In IM3, we were shown Tony suffering from this mental disorder. In CA:CW we also saw him using B.A.R.F. to ease his trauma over the death of his parents. This is one of the factors that makes me think he had complex PTSD since childhood, not just acute PTSD caused by the alien invasion.

The acute PTSD affected his quality of life, depriving him of sleep, causing nightmares, anxiety and panic attacks from 2012 to 2014. Although it couldn't go away just because Tony became a little more confident in himself by the end of the movie. It takes years of treatment to get rid of this condition, and the VA considers it a permanent disability.

Other things that could have long-term effects on his health:

Radiation (cancer, liver failure, infertility, and thickening and scarring of lung, liver, and kidney tissue)

Heavy metal poisoning (palladium is carcinogenic, may damage bone marrow, kidneys and liver)

Repeated concussions (one possible consequence is chronic traumatic encephalopathy, which often begins years or even decades after the last brain injury)

Use of B.A.R.F. (could be the cause of the migraine he experienced at the beginning of CA:CW)

Left arm/shoulder injury

Penetrating trauma (it is unknown whether Carol actually brought Tony the Xorrian elixir to cure him as she promised)

Conclusion: before the attack that changed his life forever, Tony was a healthy, strong man who ran canyons and surfed. Thanks to his health and high exercise tolerance, he was able to survive many serious and even critical injuries. However, he was not an enhanced super soldier, and the injuries that did not kill him left him physically weaker and with disabilities that could not help but affect his well-being. He became immunocompromised, could no longer endure strenuous exercise without his high-tech prosthesis, take a proper deep breath. He also became smaller due to loss of muscle mass (compare IM1 and IM3).

Tony also suffered from chronic pain due to the damage to his chest and the presence of shrapnel.

PTSD gives him another type of disability that affects his mental functions. Unlike the damage from the reactor and shrapnel, this damage was not fully healed in 2014 and remained with him until the end, although the symptoms subsided.

[bunnysdollette]

₊⊹⁀➴ How to get your shit together in a slump: BD’s instant guide to feeling 100% again! ⟡﹒⪩⪨ 🫧🌸🧁

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧ Hi angels :) Thank you so much for the positive reception on my last posts. Anyway, I’ve been super down lately so I’d thought I’d create this post as a bit of a reference point for anyone who feels like their life is going off of the rails these days. This is how I get myself out of a slump. 💬

♫ todays song is…some by SOYOU

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ GET OFF THAT DAMN PHONE.. 📝 ⊹₊⟡⋆

wait! I was just joking. don’t close your phone until you finish reading (haha). anyway, take a look at your screentime for me. you might have been scrolling for hours or trying to distract yourself from how horrible you felt by doomscrolling endlessly…no. we can’t do that.

usually when I’m in a slump I feel damp, it’s not just about laziness. this could also be the result of exhaustion or a number of factors. dampness is an evil condition in chinese medicine where you feel heavy, tired, and dead. scrolling will only make this worse because you’re prolonging the pain. the first thing you should do is get up, stretch, breathe, and maybe crack a window. the airflow will make a big difference, I promise. 🌿

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ CLEAN UP GUIDE. 🌸 ⊹₊⟡⋆

when my room is a mess my state of mind is a mess. I can’t do anything, I’m literally loosing my marbles bc all I can see is a messy space. if your brain is in shambles rn, the smallest amount of organization you can do right now is tidy up your room a little bit.

this doesn’t even have to be a big clean, but small steps make a big impact!… remember your space is sacred. 🧘🏾‍♀️

make the bed. doesn’t have to be fancy, just make sure everything is where it needs to be.

wipe down surfaces like desks, mirrors, and vanities. you can even include a scented spray whilst doing this to make your space smell much cleaner and nicer!! I literally cannot function when my room smells like asscheeks.

remove any old cups, or food waste that you were procrastinating from doing so. don’t want to attract any bugs.

Sweep the floor. You probably don’t notice how many crumbs are on the ground, but please just do it.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ RECHARGE YOUR “STATS”. 🛁 ⊹₊⟡⋆

honestly the best way to get out of a slump is self care. neglecting your needs and body can often lead to things going downhill, depressive episodes, etc. We all forget to take care of ourselves properly sometimes, but it’s important to pay attention to our needs and personal wellness.

Ask yourself.

“Did I shower today?” ➜ Take yourself a nice, warm shower and stay in as long as you want.

Take some time to reflect on your day or anything that’s been on your mind. And be sure to wash up well, so you can feel really nice after and tap into your feminine energy. You can even add bath salts, milk, or bubble bath. It will literally make you feel like a princess. . . 👑

“Did I eat/drink today?” ➜ Go eat something.

I prefer light meals or snacks that are cold like fruit, water, or a juice when I’m feeling dead but you can also eat whatever you want. Just think about what will make you feel good and reduce the dampness as much as possible, and will prevent brain fog. Heavier meals aren’t the best for that though.

I bet you feel better already after doing these things! Remember that taking care of yourself is the most important and you are a priority.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ REFLECTING AND MAKING A GAME PLAN 🧁 ⊹₊⟡⋆

Lastly after you feel a little bit better now and you took care of yourself, I would really suggest reflecting either through journaling or shadow work questions. They’re the easiest way to just brain dump all of the crap you’ve been thinking about lately and get it out of your system in a healthy and helpful way.

You can write about things like “how have I been feeling lately?” “What’s one way I can improve in xyz” and so on. This is a mundane activity you can do at the end to organize your thoughts. Mental health is a huge thing after your physical health, as it literally not only affects your world but the world around us. Especially if you are trying to achieve your dream life/dream self, manifest anything, etc. you will need to take care of your mental health to not be consumed by your emotions and keep your mind in check.

Also something that is crucial is practicing gratitude and mentally grounding yourself. You can list things your grateful for, mediate, or exercise. Anything to get yourself into that mindset you need going forward. I personally love to listen to the wizard liz’s podcast in times like these, it’s a great motivation for me.

Remember that slumps, dampness, depressive episodes, all of it, is normal. We are just humans at the end of the day. Be a little nicer to yourself today and take some small active steps towards your goals. ✨🫶🏽

✧ thanks for reading beautiful !! ; so basically I’m thinking of maybe making a community here on tumblr for the girl bloggers that share dream girl content and stuff like that? idk let me know what u think. inbox is always open, stay hydrated and cute, buh bye 👋🏾

[only-omo]

i know this has been said before but can we really go in depth on this

characters who are so incredibly skilled at pretending they dont have to pee that no one has any idea until they are suddenly wetting

characters who are actually almost painfully perceptive, but even they are shocked into silence as their friend just randomly starts peeing like its cool

and of course its only sudden to everyone else, poor victim themself has actually spent the past hour at least, if not more, doing everything they can to not flood themselves on the spot, but not anything that could give them away even slightly, so the desperation felt would be crazy extreme

they would probably start slowly leaking at some point, as they arent doing anything (except for mostly futile muscle clenching) physical to help them hold at all, and at that point theyll probably switch from trying to properly hold it, to just trying to be discreet about it. trying to hide any growing wet spots, trying not to go despondent and stay engaged so that people dont catch on, literally holding conversations as urine slowly runs down their legs and not really doing anything to stop it, but just trying to keep it slow and quiet, and above anything else, keep any clues of whats happening out of their expression and body language.

maybe they manage to be discreet the whole time, and no one ever even finds out what happened right in front of them.

or they manage to wet discreetly, but completely throw everyone off at a slightly later point, when someone suddenly notices their soaked pants, and cannot recall the last time any of them interacted with any liquids that could have potentially spilled, so they inquire. and now the victim can either come up with some poor excuse that maybe people probably dont believe, or they just come clean, rather sheepishly despite their nonchalant demeanor about it, that they did, in fact, piss themself, and it was actually a few minutes ago that it even happened

or they manage to kinda hold on despite leaking, enough to stretch their bladder to its proper limit, leading them to have a very noticeable, rather loud accident. maybe for some reason everyones attention was already on them, for something simple, like being asked if they want to order a drink or stuff like that, but they can no longer keep up the act, starting with just a long nervous pause, no one else able to figure out why the question asked poses such a conundrum to them.

after a long-ish moment, the victim would mutter out something, maybe an apology, maybe just weak noises of defeat, as the floodgates finally break, and they start wetting forcefully and messily.

theres something about more public wettings, especially if not even slightly anticipated, that is just the most thrilling. it can get to be so humiliating that it makes even me, as an omo enthusiast, cringe with embarrassment. but its the fact that, no matter how much anybody cringes, there is nothing that that person can do to stop what is happening. it is their reality and they have to deal with it as it is, even when its so humiliating it feels stupid

and you know that this kind of accident would be at the peak of max embarrassment, it doesnt matter if the people around them are understanding or mocking or what, the sudden attention on the one thing theyd been trying to avoid will send their brain over the edge of functioning, and the best they can do is just hide their face and wait for someone else to do something

[submenarehotties]

— untitled #1

pairing; submissive ryomen sukuna & dominant gn reader.

(does not follow the plot of the jjk manga or anime)

cw & tw: suggestive, its clear you’re in control here, heian era, uhhh idk if this counts as sfw but i’ll still put a cl regardless…

summary: how did you manage to break down sukuna’s ego in one swoop?

note: guys i can’t write anymore, i’ve lost it😭😭 let alone smut oml - and i’m too lazy to make it all pretty with colors so i’ll probably edit this in like a few months lol. mind any spelling errors!

word count: 0.4k+

ryomen sukuna was not sure what it was about you. the way you made him question all of his decisions. the way you didn’t let anyone get a firm grasp on you. the way you wouldn’t let properly claim you. his ego just cannot bare it.

it was if he had been cursed, which is humorous because he, himself, is the king of curses.

you had such an addictive aura. a fiery one. one that he could not let go of.

and he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t enjoying the situation he had put himself in. even if it meant bending his poor ego.

“damn you.” sukuna groaned, his fingers digging into the arms of his chair.

“be careful of what you say.” you murmur sweetly in his ear.

you could disappear and he wouldn’t be able to do a single thing about it. you tilt your head curiously, wondering what he’s pondering in that chaotic mind of his.

his eyes snap open and his hand possessively grabs your arm, assuring himself that you won’t disappear from his view.

you scoff, roughly shaking off sukuna’s hand. you cup his chin, looking into his eyes, seeing nothing but deeply hidden fear. not really a shock that you could see that, you’ve completely flipped sukuna’s world upside down.

“don’t tell me that you can’t function without me anymore.” you chuckle, not even believing the words coming out of your mouth.

he stays silent and you know you have your answer. you raise an eyebrow at his silent behavior. his hands reach for your waist, his forehead resting against your stomach as he growls as if angry with himself.

“i don’t want to feel this way. i don’t need to.” he grips your waist tighter as he talks.

“are you so sure? i would bet my life that your heart’s racing so fast right now.” you comment with a smile.

sukuna raises his head, his jaw clenching. you drag a hand down his chest slowly, feeling the unsteady, fast beat of his pathetic heart. he grabs your arm, not to stop you, but to keep your hand there.

“help me.”

sukuna murmurs with a low whine. you wouldn’t have heard it if it weren’t for his whine. you freeze, clenching your jaw, your hand on his chest gripping his kimono for dear life.

it only takes so much for your control to break.

your head bows for a moment before you slowly look up, leaning your face close to his, your lips so close to touching. sukuna is shuddering very slightly at the closeness of your mouth to his.

“what do you want me to help you with exactly?”

while maintaining eye contact with you, sukuna begins to guide the hand that was on his chest lower and lower…

a/n: this literally is so bad, i haven’t written a single thing since december of LAST year. EMBARRASSING! anyway, i may make a part 2 with a lil smth😛 but who knows? - i don’t‼️‼️‼️

click here for my masterlist(s).

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