#i might be back to just cell for internet for a while

[sesshy380]

Yay! Power is back! I have heat and can turn on lights again!

No internet, though (expected). Will have to check with local isp tomorrow to find out eta on that to find out if I should be contacting subscription services to see about pauses on the account due to not really being able to use them for an indefinite time (ie: Battlenet, Netflix, etc)

[revelboo]

Omg pls we want more of ratchet x reader 🥺<33

The Weakends pt 2

TFP Ratchet x Reader- getting sick

• Yes, you were supposed to be helping Ratchet organize his supplies, but waking up with your head trying to split open as you start coughing, you know that’s not happening. As much as you won’t miss inventory duty, you do enjoy being around the surly medic. Especially his salacious recounts of the other’s mishaps over the decades.

• Fumbling for your cell phone, you message the kids to ask them to tell Ratchet you’re taking a sick day before succumbing to the warmth of the sheets and sleep.

• Sick? Frowning down at Jack, Ratchet rumbles to himself. It’s not that he doesn’t know humans get sick, he’s just never really bothered to learn about human illnesses. Slumping at his desk, he connects to the human’s internet and- ah. WebMd. Curious, he begins scrolling.

• Cracking an eye, it takes a minute for your tired brain to comprehend that the pounding isn’t just your head. Someone’s trying to tear your door down. As far off the road as your house is, you doubt it’s a solicitor. More likely a robber casing the place. Anger mixing with the exhaustion, you slide out of bed in your robe, a pair of shorts, and the soft tank top you sleep in. You grab the bat you leave just behind the door before turning the handle.

• Whatever you expected, it’s not Ratchet kneeling at your door, scowling. His optics skim your face before dipping to the bat. Sighing, you chuck it to roll around on the floor behind you with a clatter. “Everything okay?” Your voice is a tired rasp and his frown deepens.

• There were so many things that could be wrong, and Ratchet’s almost frozen with indecision. If you were a Cybertronian, he’d know what’s wrong. You’re staring up at him, your color off and dark smudges under your eyes. It’s the sudden coughing fit wracking your tiny frame that shatters his paralysis. Reaching through the narrow door, he hooks a servo around you to pull you through the gap so he can pick you up as you cling to his servos, eyes streaming while you wheeze.

• The alarm on his face is masked so quickly you can almost think it was just your imagination as he cradles you in a palm and brings out a scanner. Flinching at the bright light passing over you from head to toe, you try to protest that you’re fine. It’s just a cold, but he just frowns at the screen then at you. Like his tech has betrayed him somehow.

• Weak protests are ignored as Ratchet tucks you to his chassis and transforms around you. Brings you back to the base and to his medbay. It might in fact just be a cold, but after learning everything that could go wrong with humans, he’s not letting you out of sight. He’s requisitioned supplies and pleased that Fowler’s delivered.

• Please not the dumpster couch, you plead to all the powers that be as Ratchet transforms and carries you to his medbay. Thankfully he brings you to his desk, setting you carefully down in a chaotic nest of blankets, pillows, and, underneath, an air mattress. Nearby there are bottles of pedialyte, cough drops, and cans of chicken soup you have no way to heat even if you could open them.

• It doesn’t matter, though. You’re just floundering that he was that worried about you. That he came to check on you and is trying to care for you. A big servo touches your neck below your jaw- trying to feel your lymphnodes? You’re not sure, but the serious frown as he examines you with feather light touches sends your heart racing. That frustration so evident inhis optics is just growing and you reach up to catch one of his servos with your hands. “Thank you.”

• “I don’t know how to fix this.” That gruff admission costs him, you know it and your heart melts a bit. Because he wants to help you and he doesn’t know how. Because he cares. And you’re so tired. You press your forehead against his servo, relaxing as his hand shifts a bit so his thumb can slide up and down your spine, the touch cautious and unsure. Soothing.

Previous Next

[translatemunson]

save the date

top gun pilots x female!reader blurb cw: mentions of a dress. i believe this can be read as any of the daggers, minus nat (i'm writing something special just for our girl); lmk if i forgot anything.

You’ve gotten the ‘save the date’ months ago. The invitation only came through the mail a few weeks back, but it was 100% set in stone: you were attending your best friend’s wedding with your aviator boyfriend as your plus one. What you forgot to take into consideration was deployment.

It was like playing in a casino: you could get lucky and he wouldn’t be called for a mission until the wedding, or he would be god knows where doing whatever mission the Navy had for him, and you’d be missing him during the wedding.

And since you were never the luckiest person in the room, he got deployed. For six weeks. One month before the wedding date. Good luck telling all your friends you didn’t get dumped, it was just that your boyfriend was government property and they needed him overseas doing some good for the country. It was honorable, but still: you wanted to walk around the venue with a pretty aviator by your side.

It didn’t help that his internet access was limited, nor that you were having second thoughts about attending. Well, if not having someone with you was a problem, he told you he could get one of his friends to take care of you — just so other guys wouldn’t take a chance on his hot girlfriend. But it wasn’t just the lack of your boyfriend that was undermining your presence at the wedding.

One week the dress wasn’t good enough. The next one, just before his deployment, you weren’t sure about the tickets and hotel you booked — he said to keep them, even if he wasn’t going anymore, because you could use the extra space on the plane and the bigger bed. Your first email to him, while deployed, was about how nerve wrecked you were feeling now that your bestie asked you to do a speech. A few days later, you went through it with him, and he reassured you were doing amazing. 

“Gosh, this would be so much easier if you were here,” you admitted on your phone call.

“I know, baby. I promise to take you to a fancy event as soon as I’m back so I can have the chance to see you in that pretty dress.” He was trying his best to cheer you up.

But a phone call across the ocean wasn’t enough. You needed him there, with you, saying you look pretty even though your make up is nowhere near as done. Or telling you look like those old Hollywood stars when your hair was still on the hair curlers. Or saying you need to hurry up before it’s too late to get a nice parking spot at the venue. Or checking if you need a drink or something else during the reception.

You looked down at your phone, hitting “send” on another email, with pictures you took from the party. The whole place is covered with flowers and fairy lights hanging from the trees and ceiling, and you miss him so much it hurts more than your high heels.

You gave your speech minutes ago, and had one of your friends filming it for you. It was a nice piece about your best friend, how she was always the one saying you were gonna be married first but hey, look at you, alone at her wedding. Of course you made fun of the lack of a plus one, but it was fine. You brought back a few embarrassing memories, also spilled some tea on the fact that she had a list with the names for all of their babies. And if one of those names was not inspired by yours, you would be seeing her in court.

“Hey, do you wanna grab another drink with me?” Your friend nudged your arm. “I hate seeing you down.”

“Can you call the Navy and file an official complaint for me? I’ll give you his full name and call sign, so then later I can show up to the courtroom and use those as proof.” You threw your cell phone inside your bag. “Sorry, I’ve been under the weather since the news broke.”

“I know, babe, and I don’t blame you.” She gave you a soft smile. “I think a drink might help you. And maybe I can convince that waiter I’ve told you about to sneak a few sweets for us.”

“Just one more drink, then I’m going back to the hotel.”

“You’re no fun, you know? Maybe something good is happening tonight.”

“Unless you have a teletransportation machine here somewhere to bring me my boyfriend, you can’t trap me for another hour with the promise of good booze alone.”

At the bar, you got yourself your favorite drink. It would be better if he was there, his hand on your waist, making comments about the party or asking you the little details about the people there. It would be his first time in your hometown, getting to know the place you were born and raised. You loved San Diego, but a piece of you would always love your hometown.

“I just wished they had decent Wi-Fi at the ship,” you murmured. “I’ve sent like a hundred pics since I’ve arrived, but still no reply. I can’t believe my own boyfriend is going MIA on me.”

“Hey, maybe it’s just bad connection. And based on what you’ve told me, I bet he’s pissed he’s somewhere in the ocean instead of by the side of his gorgeous girlfriend.”

“Please plan a wedding in the next few weeks so I can attend one with him.”

“Why don’t you plan your own wedding?” She turned the idea around.

“And throw a surprise wedding? I’m crazy, but even I have limits.”

“Well, I hope it doesn’t take him too many deployments to pop the big question.”

“I might have to ask him to divorce the Navy before we can get married. Sorry, but I won’t be the mistress in this,” you laughed.

Halfway through your drink, your friend ended up going to talk to one of your colleagues from high school, and you went back to your table, staying up and trying to swing your body in the rhythm of the song — just to get your mind off of things.

You checked your phone, one notification from your email’s app. You clicked on it as fast as you could, blowing out in frustration when you saw it was just a marketing email.

You saw someone approaching from your peripheral vision, and you heard “Tough night?”

“Don’t even get me started.” You pushed your face into your hand.

“Try me, honey.”

You turned your face. And, magically, your boyfriend was there. You blinked a few times, not believing he was really sitting next to you, in a suit. You held tight into his arm, and he said “Did she let you have way too many drinks?”

“No. I mean, are you real?”

“Yes, baby, I’m real.”

“How?”

“Finished the mission early, called in for a few favors, got on the first plane here, and asked your friends to keep it a secret.”

“Oh my, you’re really here.” You threw your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. The last time you were this close, it was the morning before his deployment. You always took the days up to the deployment as a chance to spend all the time together. Ok, you had to work, and the house chores wouldn’t magically disappear, but as soon as you were both at home, you’d stick to his side as glue.

“Sorry I missed your speech,” he hugged you back. “I’ll watch the footage later.”

“That’s ok. I’m so happy that you’re here,” you kissed his cheek.

“C’mon, let me take a look at my stunning girlfriend,” he took a step back and, with your hand in his, made you spin on your toes. The flowy dress and high heels were far from your daily clothes. “You look better than in the pictures, honey.”

Your cheeks blushed, and you could bet even the make up wouldn’t be able to hide it. “Thanks.” You took a look at him, finally noticing how good he looked in a normal suit. The color suited him like a glove, and you were considering finding a good excuse to see him wearing it again. You kinda begged him to attend in those pretty white suits the Navy had, but he was always saying those were only for special occasions.

“Should we take a picture?” He rested his hands on your waist.

“Sure!”

Now that you officially had your arm candy with you, it was time to walk around the party introducing your boyfriend to your friends. They were all very friendly and excited to meet him, but also kept the Navy related questions to a minimum. He was all smiles and handsy, keeping you close to him as much as possible.

You got your picture, on the balcony, with the gardens as a background to your affection. Your friend convinced one of the photographers to take a few official pictures — she used the “He’s Navy and flew all the way here to be with her!” card. On the first pic, you were close, side by side, smiling but keeping your hands to yourself.

And then the photographer asked you to look each other in the eyes, and it was like your lips had a magnet of some sorts. He pulled you closer, and gave you a quick kiss on the lips. “Hold her like that!” the photographer said.

Once you had the pictures taken also on our phone, he took you to the dance floor. A slow song, something your parents would play in the car when you were younger, was telling the steps you were taking. Swaying slowly in the middle of the small crowd, soaking in that moment. You snuggled in closer to his chest, leaving him to lead you. 

“I’m so happy you’re here,” you confessed.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t say anything before.” He pressed his lips on the side of your head.

“That’s ok. You know I like surprises when they come from you.”

“I know. And I like being with you.” Another kiss on the side of your face. “And I love you.”

You  tilted your head back, connecting your eyes, “I love you too."

[maikelfist]

Working Title: Man With Big Dick Fucks His Precious Boy

Okay so I had the weirdest, most random ass idea for post-breakup BuckTommy and it just got more and more random the more I kept going. It's all over the place, I kind of rushed near the end, I have no idea where I was going with this. I would call this a fever dream more than I would call it a fic but it's here now so might as well throw it at you guys PS: Don't get fooled by the working title, this is more sappy than sexy

Edit: There's a more refined version of this on ao3 now and I updated it here as well

Buck's sex life went from mind-blowing, life-changing and so-so-active to Missing In Action in what felt like seconds, and unfortunately, his libido hasn't gotten the memo yet. He'd been advised to throw himself out there again multiple times now, but every single cell in his body recoils at the idea. I'm not your last, I'm your first. Yeah well, we'll see about that.

It feels like a no-brainer to start watching gay porn since that's what Buck's currently missing the most. He jerks off to a handsome guy—the hint of cleft in his chin may or may not have been the reason Buck clicked on the video—fucking into a pretty twunk, and honestly, Buck is having a good time. It’s only when tears begin to swell in his eyes after he comes with Tommy’s name on his lips that he realizes he should not do that again.

The next videos he watches pointedly feature plump bears and dainty twinks, but even then, Buck can't help but make comparisons. Can't hold a rhythm, not attentive enough, where are the reassurances?

Buck comes to a visceral, gut-wrenching realization: Every single guy he considers will have to measure up to one Thomas fucking Kinard from now on.

So.

No gay porn for Buck anymore.

He moves to het videos, and the second realization of his latest porn binge hits him a lot quicker. There is absolutely no way he will ever be able to go back to regular straight sex again. Buck is very, very bi, and even relationships with women will have to be queer from now on.

Of course, porn isn't reality, but being confronted with the exaggerated heteronormativity of it all—the idea of fulfilling a society-given role after Buck learned what things can feel like when he's allowed to be himself—makes his stomach churn.

Living in a post-Tommy world is not an easy feat.

Buck's baking bouts aren't enough to distract him. Doughs need chilling, batters need baking, and before the waiting time can make him spiral, Buck keeps going on a Goldilocks mission of trying to find just the right porn that would help him take his mind off Tommy.

Luckily, after browsing the most obscure, likely virus-infested websites the internet has to offer, Buck finds a video that instantly becomes a staple in his tabs—a comforting presence whenever he feels lonely, which these days is all the time. He doesn't even bother closing it.

As long as it took him to find the video, it’s quickly forgotten when Tommy and Buck make up.

The reunion is messy and like a balm for Buck's wounds. It is filled with tears and Tommy's ability to make difficult conversations feel easy—something Buck had desperately missed when Tommy chose to walk out of his life. It’s a skill Tommy can apparently lose when he’s petrified with fear. Buck vows to chip away at all of Tommy's worries now that Buck is aware of them. Now that Tommy lets him.

It's strange and not surprising at all how much like coming home it feels to have Tommy back. How easy it is for Buck to cook for them in his kitchen while Tommy looks for something they can watch later on Buck's laptop.

"I found this documentary about hyper-regional food," Tommy says.

Buck perks up from the herbs he's cutting. "Like Threads of God? Do you know that only three women in Sardinia know how to make that type of pasta?"

Tommy hums at that. "Sounds like we don't need to watch it."

Buck laughs and lowers his eyes to the herbs again. "No, I want to. But isn't there a new part of that car restoration series you like?"

"We can watch that later." Tommy emphasizes the last word in a way that makes another part of Buck perk up.

Early in their relationship, they found out that there are few things that can make Buck relax and fall asleep quicker than the sight of competent hands making old things look new to the rhythmic sound of metal being hammered and ground. This means Tommy has to make sure it's him that gets to tire Buck out before his favorite mechanics have a chance to. Thankfully, Tommy seems to be fine with Buck never reaching the end of any of the restoration videos he enjoys.

Tommy makes an intrigued noise of interest that breaks Buck out of his musings. "Ooor we can watch this."

Buck listens to the sounds of shuffling and smacking coming out of his laptop's speakers, confusion furrowing his brows before recognition seizes him by the throat.

"Oh my God!" The parsley Buck is holding ends up somewhere in Nirvana as he frees his hands to grab his laptop. "OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod—" Since when is closing a laptop so fucking difficult?

Tommy lets him fumble for a moment, a teasing smirk playing at his lips. It’s infuriating how he can just calmly wait till Buck, wide-eyed and pink-cheeked, finally meets his gaze. Only then does Tommy speak, slowly and deliberately, savoring each syllable.

"Woman With Dragon Dick Fucks Her Precious Girl."

Buck is glad he wasn't cutting chili because there's no way he can stop himself from pressing his fingers into his eyes as he whines, "You don't have to say it out loud!"

"I simply appreciate the originality of the title."

God, why was Buck a firefighter when he couldn't even do anything about his face being on fucking fire?

"Look, I missed you, and I-I couldn’t watch gay porn because they—they either reminded me too much of you or they weren’t you, and regular straight porn was tedious, so I found this feminist porn site, a-and I didn’t feel bad about supporting them, and please, please don’t judge—"

"Evan." Tommy says his name in a way that allows no ifs and buts. "I'm not judging." Whenever Tommy's voice falls into that no-nonsense sternness, something in Buck stills. He has learned to hold his breath when Tommy speaks to him like that. It's a Pavlovian reaction that only Tommy can ignite and it sends shivers down his spine. Tommy raises his thumb to the birthmark on Buck's temple, gently brushing it as his voice softens. "I'm taking note." Buck exhales shakily and leans into the touch.

Tommy reaches for the laptop, opens it, and enters the password that Buck shared with him even before they broke up. He moves to stand behind Buck, arms wrapped around him, as he hits play again.

The titular precious girl is on all fours surrounded by luxurious wine-red pillows and candlelight, purring kittenish noises into the mattress as the woman, adorned in gold and jewels only, kisses her neck and shoulders, murmuring sweet nothings into her skin. She's fucking her strap-on in between her thighs, making sure the dildo rubs against all the right spots.

"The shape is interesting," Tommy observes. He glances at Evan, curious about what kind of reaction his comment will provoke. Maybe some more bashfulness or a sweet sigh, similar to the ones the girl is making on screen while the dildo enters her.

Instead, Evan turns to him with an excited smile on his full lips. "Yeah, right? I found this website! Wait, hold on—" Evan pauses the video, opens a new tab, and Tommy is greeted with the sight of colorful, artfully crafted fantasy dildos. Handmade, apparently.

Evan starts rambling about which ones he finds the most appealing, what media they're inspired by. Tommy has never heard him talk this much about pop culture, and no one is ever allowed to know that Evan learned about Avatar this way. Howie would get an aneurysm.

Having Evan in his life means being in a constant state of whiplash, and Tommy has learned that he wouldn't have it any other way.

Tommy keeps in mind which ones Evan pointed out and makes a mental note to check out the cock sleeves the store offers before gently nudging Evan back to the porn.

"What else do you like about the video?" Evan relaxes back into him as they keep watching. Tommy can guess what Evan might find hot about it, something that has nothing to do with pretty girls kissing, but he would like to hear it from Evan before making assumptions. He also just wants to hear Evan, period.

"I like— I like that she's sweet to her? Women in straight femdom porn are usually just mean, like men being dominated by women is automatically degrading. I don't like that."

Tommy hums in acknowledgment, enjoys the small gasp he receives as he dips his fingers into a gap in Evan's button-down shirt, soothingly playing with the trail of hair on Evan's stomach. That Evan likes sweet talk isn't new information, but hearing it is always lovely. "Keep going," Tommy encourages.

"But she's also kind of… possessive about it? She calls her 'my treasure' a couple of times. I love it when she does. It's like—it's—she—she's—"

"Cherishing her?"

Evan sighs and nods, rubbing his temple against Tommy's.

Tommy leans in, noses at the pulse point of Evan's neck as he goes in for the kill. "Claiming her?"

Evan's moan sounds like it was punched out of him, and Tommy barely has enough time to hold onto the laptop to keep it from being dragged down as Evan turns to kiss him.

Tommy braces himself, gathering more and more courage with each kiss, praying to whoever might be listening that he's not mistaken when he asks, "You want me to hold on to you? Make you mine and never let go?"

A heart-wrenching sob escapes Evan's mouth, and Tommy swallows it greedily. "God yes, please!"

Evan keeps pressing pleas against his lips, and Tommy desperately wants to give in, but there is just one small thing that needs to be done first.

"Evan, the thing you're making, can—can that wait?" The last time they allowed themselves to get distracted while cooking, Evan kept pouting afterwards over the food being 'ruined'. In an attempt to cheer him up, Tommy had said that he couldn't tell the difference which had just made things worse. He wouldn't make that mistake again. There are many mistakes he wouldn't make again.

Evan utters a dazed noise before clarity settles into his beautiful features. "Oh. Yeah. It'll just marinate."

Tommy nods and moves to turn off the stove, Evan clinging to his side. He returns his attention to Evan, fingers playing with his curls.

The stove was a short distraction, but long enough to ensure that Tommy's next words are spoken with all the gravitas they deserve.

"My treasure."

Another broken sound escapes Evan's throat as he burrows into Tommy and continues what they started.

Tommy hates breaking things, but, God, does he love repairing them. He knows he has a lot to make up for, and he will do it happily. If that means wiping away his boyfriend's tears and indulging in his trauma-induced dragon kink, so be it.

[hillbillyoracle]

When cell phones and internet go down...

If you're in one of a myriad of marginalized groups who know they can't count on the government to help them, then this post is for you.

I feel like I'm cramming messages into bottles from my fairly niche interest (radio, emergency comms) and chucking them into the sea of Tumble in the hopes it reaches people it can help. What happened in Spain and Portugal recently and some of the cell outages we've seen in recent years - they're is a great example of why back up communication methods aren't just for doomsday preppers.

If cell phones and internet (and possibly power) went out, how would you communicate in an emergency?

Note: this is geared toward the US. It's where I am and it's all I know.

If I only had ~$25

I'd grab a Beofeng UV-5R ($18-$25) if I thought I might study to get my ham license eventually ($15-$25 test fee + $35 FCC fee),

OR

If I knew I didn't want to test for a ham license and thought I might pay $35 for a GMRS license eventually, I'd pay a little extra up front and get a Beofeng UV-5G plus GMRS radio (~$35)

While this would not allow me to transmit usually, this would allow me to:

call for help in an emergency - the license requirement for transmission is lifted in the event of a genuine emergency

listen to weather frequencies - it will not turn on and give you the alert but if you know bad weather is coming, you can turn it on and listen for alerts as they come in. Weather stations give alerts for a fairly broad area so you'll be able to hear about any significant storms as the move into and through your area.

listen to local repeaters - repeaters, in my experience, are kind of a combination of a megaphone and an internet chat room. You set the frequency and the PL tones (password sounds your radio sends) for the repeater and then you can hear people from much further away. This is one, just fun to listen to on a given day but two, a great way to find out information if your area is experiencing an event but you don't require help. Some even have EAS weather alerts (thought this still won't turn your radio on if it's off in an emergency). Use repeaterbook to look for repeaters in your area and use CHIRP to program them into your radio - tutorials abound.

For ~$15 more you can upgrade the UV-5R to a bigger battery and USB-C charging (UV-5G comes with USB-C charging).

This can be thrown in a go bag if you need to evacuate or your housing is unstable. You can have your handheld radio monitoring a local repeater while you have a car or portable radio listening to commercial or public stations for updates.

If I only had ~$100

I would get a GMRS license ($35) and a Beofeng UV-5G plus (~$35) and a single Meshtastic node (~$25).

If I had a little extra, I'd grab a second Meshtastic node for a roommate, partner, family member or nearby friend.

This would get me the ability to not only monitor frequencies but the ability to talk on them in non-emergency times which would be helpful practice. Some GMRS repeaters have regular "nets" - it's basically a meeting on air where someone invited folks to tell them/radio in their call sign (radio license ID basically) and then they confirm they heard you. This gives you a chance to test your equipment.

The GMRS license covers your family so they can pick up a radio as well and then you'd be able to communicate with them as well (as long as they're close enough; 1-5 miles but varies by terrain, more range if using a repeater). It's not a phone so the conversation would be heard by other people but this is great for wellness checks or a quick check up.

Meshtastics add the ability to text people and share GPS coordinates with people near by - encrypted if you so desire. The range is much less (I've only tested it to about a mile currently though with tweaking more is possible). This adds an important link in your communication plan - asynchronous communication. As long as the device is on and paired and in range, you'll most likely receive a message. It does drop occasionally but that's pretty rare. My nesting partner and I often have to rely on them because the internet and cell signal is so poor up here but they serve us incredibly well for that. Beyond the Emergency Comms use, it's just nice for morale to be able to text during an event. Best part is, if you're in an area were other people have them too, you can bounce your signal further for no additional power.

Past this amount of money, I'd still get my GMRS license and encourage my friends and neighbors who didn't want to study for the ham license to get theirs. Then I'd get my ham license and buy the best handheld I could afford - probably one of the value Yaesu models - so I have several ways to both coordinate among my loved ones and get any needs to a net in the area during a disaster.I'd get and pass out several meshtastic devices to people who were within range that I might want to commincate with. I'd look into back up power for recharging (I like my Jackerys).

Amateur radio is a deep well and this barely touches on it of it. Don't let how vast it is keep you thinking it's too complicated for you. I promise it's not. I'm very much a noob myself but I'm happy answer any questions that I can.

This is part of self care - ensuring you can care for yourself during chaotic events and emergencies to the best of your ability. Even a little bit of preparation can keep something like storm outbreak or power outage from turning harmful or even deadly. Learn what you can. You've got this!

[misspelledwordswizard]

Heya! Do you know the TikTok trend that’s like a hear me out cake? Idk why but I image reader is doing one and put time on it and twilight is like that girl screaming that���s my dad!? Hell that’s so silly idk why

Yes!!! this trend is so funny! I died laughing while writing this, thank you so much for the request <33333

— Meat-Stuffed Pumpkins! — Wild said as he placed the toothpick with a poorly drawn picture of the food on the tip in the cake he had made himself. 

 It took a while, but I finally managed to convince some of the boys to participate in this game that has been popularizing in my world lately, before I showed up here. I was dying to do it with my friends before, but I didn't have the opportunity, so why not do it with the new friends I made? 

— What? A food? Are you serious, Champion?! — The veteran freaked out a little at the unusual addition. 

— She said it was supposed to be really strange and unlikely things! 

— Honestly, from the videos I remember seeing about it, a food is actually pretty normal! — I added it to try to ease the blond's mood. 

I managed to convince Wild, Twi, Legend and Hyrule to play with me. They even let me record with my cell phone, which, even though it doesn't have internet, at least served as a way of recording. It took a while for them to understand the concept and get carried away with how strange their “hear me outs” were supposed to be, but finally, after several attempts at explanation and more than a day of preparation, it was working! 

Among the things added to the cake so far were some ornate swords and weapons, some strange cartoon characters added by me, the number seven, a shooting star, the sun itself, and graciously added by Rulie, a zora from the champion era. I think he was impressed by how different the zoras were compared to the ones from his era. 

“Okay, now it's my turn again, let me see…” I said as I looked through the options of images glued to sticks in my hand. 

 Oh yes, I had separated some very good ones, others not so much. Some not so hear me out considering they are a consensus – like Pedro Pascal hidden there in the middle – but they didn't need to know that. And there, among abstract concepts, childish drawings and inanimate objects, was the most interesting one of all, because I knew the boys knew this one. 

 I struggled and failed miserably in trying not to laugh, imagining their reaction to it, my face heated up and I was definitely red with embarrassment now as I stuck the next image into the cake for everyone to see. 

A photo of the Team taken with Wild's Sheikah Slate - don't question how I printed most of these things, that technology is beyond my knowledge. 

— Hear me out on Time... 

I said once as I struggled hard to hold back my laughter at the expression of pure shock that appeared on the four boys' faces, but I couldn't help it when Twilight spoke indignantly. 

— That's my ancestor! 

And then my fit of laughter was followed by one from Wild and Legend who certainly couldn't handle the Rancher's reaction, Hyrule just stood there looking in some confusion for a moment, not knowing whether to laugh too or comfort his brother. 

— Why would you put my ancestor there? He's a committed man, you know? And much older than you... — Now he seemed more worried than shocked. Maybe he felt a little sorry for my mental health. 

— Okay, wait, let me explain! Hear me out!! — I said while still fighting back laughter. — It's just, you know, this whole older man vibe, no wonder Pedro Pascal and RDJ are on my list too... 

I avoided using the word Daddy, they might end up misunderstanding, but I think this term explains my situation well. After recovering from the fit of laughter, I managed to calm and comfort Twi, assuring her that it was just for fun – more or less – and then we could finally continue with the game. 

— Okay, my turn! — The veteran said with a much better and softer mood than before, as he approached the cake. — Bhaskara's formula. 

— WHAT?! 

[doctor-dusk]

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭, 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 | 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐭.

he showed you that movie theaters were not made exclusively for watching movies.

warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), piv, public sex. can't remember any more warnings beside these ones.

word count: 7.6k

series masterlist

ffs 7.6k words i'm gobsmacked- i ended up getting too excited, but uuuugh, i loved writing this part. i hope you like it :3

of course you accepted. 

however, as much as you wanted to see him, you were hesitant. you had never seen him other than via video call, and you were somewhat paranoid about people you met on the internet. so, you two agreed to meet at a movie theater, which was usually full and where you felt safe for a first date.

it was saturday night and you told your parents that you were going to the movies with your best friend. well, if you were paranoid, your parents were much worse than you. you couldn't simply throw them a ‘i'm going out with a guy i met online’.

but to be on the safe side and to maintain your own safety, you notified your best friend, giving her the address of the movie theater and saying that if you weren't home by midnight, she should call the police.

you were very nervous, of course. numerous scenarios running through your head. possibilities of everything going very right or very wrong. but you were already there. 

leaning against the cold wall outside the movie theater, watching the little movement on the street. usually on the date of a film's premiere, the frenzy is imminent. lines of cars on all sides of the avenue and more queues to buy tickets and get in the rooms. but now, it's calm. so calm.

you looked at your phone, checking the time. you scheduled it for 8pm, there were exactly 7 minutes left. you were too anxious, at 5pm you were already taking your shower and at 6:40pm you were ready. but you made sure to dress up well for the occasion. you could already expect the shower of compliments he might give you, like “oh, i love your dress. take a little spin for me” or “you smell so good”. something that would be very “alex” to say.

your cell phone vibrated, indicating that a message had arrived. in a rush, you rummaged through your purse, thinking it was a message from him.

“did he arrive?” you let your eyebrows fall when you saw it was a message from your best friend.

“not yet.” you answered, trying to sound optimistic. there is still time, he could arrive at any moment. your stomach was churning with anxiety, you resisted the urge to bite your freshly painted wine nails.

she didn't say anything else and neither did you, closing your hand around your phone and supporting your body weight on your other leg while you placed one hand on your waist.

you looked around once more, taking a few steps ahead, not having a right direction to go. you're bored. distracted. nervous. anxious. like you’re going to explode like a dynamite. you needed to relax your mind a little. 

you took a few steps closer to the parking lot, seeing how empty it was. you could count 8 cars there and 3 motorcycles. better, 4 motorcycles, since one was just arriving through the adjacent entrance. 

your eyes followed that motorcycle until it stopped, parking in the reserved space. it wasn't that dark despite some broken light bulbs in the parking lot, but you could recognize that the model of the bike was a kawasaki. maybe a W800. not that you're an expert, but do you remember that your uncle had a motorcycle just like that. he said he loved the motorcycle more than his own wife. isn't it surprising that they have divorced.

back to what you're seeing, the motorcyclist got off after placing the motorcycle's foot on the ground, securing it so that the motorcycle remained upright and without any risk of falling. the black leather jacket hugged his body just right, the dark jeans didn't seem to be that tight on his lower body, just accentuating the curves of his thighs. and wow, what an ass. 

his back was turned the whole time. he carefully removed his helmet, combing his hair back, but he didn't seem satisfied with the result when he looked at his own reflection in a car window. so, he pulled out a small comb that was in his back pocket, combing his hair back until he thought it looked presentable enough, slicked back to the last hair.

he put the comb inside his pocket and pulled out his phone from the front pocket. your heart raced. coud be him?

your phone vibrated in your hand. you looked at the screen, a message from alex popped on your screen.

‘’i’m here.’’

you froze in place, like your feet were glued on the floor. you looked back at the exact moment he turned around.

yeah, it was him.

fuck, fuck, fuck. it was him.

alex was more intimidating in person. not in a bad way, though. 

he wasn't that tall. but well, you didn't expect him to be as tall as a lamppost either. he was tall enough to make you stand on your tiptoes if you wanted to kiss him. pale skin under the streetlights, dark hair slicked back and covered in hair gel that made the shiny strands stay in place. it suited him well, although you were used to seeing him with a bit more unruly hair. but it matched his thin face, vibrant ebony eyes, thin, slightly pursed mouth. and oh, of course... the nose. the fucking charming nose. better in person. so much better.

‘’hello you.’’ he greeted you as soon as his eyes met your figure not so far from him. ‘’hope i didn't make you wait too long.’’

‘’you're here.’’ you said almost in a whisper while you put your cell phone back in your purse. you're acting a bit awkwardly, but you couldn't help it.

‘’guess i am.’’ he chuckled, standing in front of you, not knowing exactly how to greet you. he didn't want to admit that he was also nervous to see you. ‘’can i hug you?’’

‘’y-yes, of course.’’ you chuckled, watching him bend down just a little so he could hug you properly, wrapping his arms around your waist, hugging you tight. you wrapped your arms around his neck, really sure that you would need to stand on your tiptoes if you wanted to be at his height.

‘’mhm, there we go. you smell so good.’’ he muttered, running his nose over your shoulder, not touching your neck. he didn't want to sound so invasive.

funny, because you've done so much over video call. and now you're here, acting awkwardly like two teenagers.

you smiled weakly. you already expected this compliment, yet you’re giggling internally. ‘‘do you like it?’’ you asked, not failing to notice that he also smelled good. something woody, accentuating the masculinity he exuded along with the freshness of the hair gel.

‘’yeah. all for me?’’ he said, taking one last deep breath before breaking the hug, letting you return to your normal posture. you chuckled, seeing him gesture with his finger for you to take a little turn. very shyly, you did so, eliciting a low whistle from him. ‘’hell, you're even better in person, i'm feeling spoiled already.’’

‘’i have to impress you, don't i?’’ you raised both eyebrows, your palms sweating as you clenched your hands against the strap of your purse.

‘’nah, that's my job. gotta impress you even more now.’’ he chuckled, putting his arm around your shoulder so you could head towards the entrance of the movie theater.

you looked over your shoulder, taking a look at the motorcycle. ‘’is that yours?’’ you pointed curiously.

‘’yep. all mine. did you like it?’’ he asked, following your gaze to the parked motorcycle. you nodded. ‘’good. i'll show you better later. if you want, i can even teach you how to drive it.’’

‘’oh, please, don't give me any ideas.’’ you chuckled, already picturing him teaching you everything, telling you the name of each component of the motorcycle, how to accelerate, or how to change gears. you could already see his big hands guiding yours on the motorcycle's handlebars.

‘’don't worry love, you'll be fine, i’ll show you everything you need to know.’’ he said, giving you a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. ‘’so... do you know which movie you want to see?’’

you took a quick look at the catalog, seeing which movies were showing. none of them interested you visually speaking. you looked back at him. you didn't even need to say anything. after all, he wasn't interested in any movie either. deep down, you both knew that the movie would just be an excuse.

‘’it's ok. let's see this one.’’ he pointed to a random one, you didn't even have time to read the title because he was already holding your hand to go to the ticket office. there was no queue at all, so you didn't have to worry about that. ‘’good evening. i'll take two tickets for that movie over there.’’ he said to the clerk, who had a bored look on his face while he was fiddling with his cell phone.

you were already opening your purse to get your wallet when alex glanced at you, frowning immediately.

‘’what are you doing?’’ he asked, holding your wrist, making you stop and look at him.

‘’i'm going to…’’ you pointed to the ticket office. ‘’pay for my ticket.’’

he looked at you, almost dumbfounded. then, he laughed softly, shaking his head.

‘’none of that. leave it to me.’’ he said. you felt kind of stupid because he acted and said it like it was something unacceptable.

‘’alex, i'm used to paying for my ticket, it's ok…’’ you told him, not really caring, but he shook his head again. well, if you were stubborn, he made sure to be worse than you.

‘’used to it? damn, did those blokes made you pay for your ticket?’’ he asked, genuinely concerned, taking his wallet out of his front pocket.

you didn't answer. there was no need to answer since he was right. you had already lost count of how many bad dates you had been on and how many times you had had to pay for your ticket. it was ridiculous to think about it sometimes.

his frown softened as did his voice. ‘’not with me, hm? now be good and sit over there while i finish up here.’’ he said, letting go of your wrist and pointing to one of the cushioned chairs in the hall. ‘’do you want popcorn? soda?’’

‘’no, i'm good.’’ you answered.

‘’mints?’’ he pointed to the glass candy display. you nodded softly, deciding to accept at least a mint gum. you were already feeling weird enough for letting him pay for your ticket. it was unusual for you.

you made your way to one of the chairs, sitting there, crossing your leg while your purse rested on your lap. your phone vibrated again, and you already knew who it was.

‘’should i call the police?’’ your friend's message made you laugh softly, your fingers typing the reply quickly.

‘’you should call the fireman. god, you have no idea how hot he is.’’

she sent you a bunch of emojis, asking for more details. of course you could tell her enough, but not everything. and you wouldn't do it now.

you heard a whistle, seeing that alex was waiting for you with the two tickets in his hand. you stood up, putting your phone away and going to him. ‘’he said that the next session starts in ten minutes, we can get in there if we want.’’ he said, handing you the package with mints.

‘’good, we can find a good place to sit then.’’ you said, holding the packet of mints in your hand, not wanting to open it for now.

alex guided the way, his hand always holding yours as you made your way down the dark hallway to the dimly lit room, the large white screen seemed to hover over you as you climbed the carpeted stairs, being careful not to trip. he scanned the place, not that it was very crowded, just a few people spread out in different places in the seats. he wanted a spot that he knew no one would pay attention to you.

‘’there. sounds great?’’ he pointed to a spot in the first few chairs, right at the top. you nodded, following him until you reached the seats, he let you go first to sit in the chair on the left while he sat to your left. ‘’it's a good spot, hm?’’ he commented to you, taking a look from his point of view, seeing that it was hard for anyone to notice you there. you were sitting almost under the projector, so probably not even the projectionist would be able to see you there.

‘’mhmm, really good.’’ you said, opening the package of mints, putting one in your mouth, feeling the freshness invade your mouth almost instantly. ‘’want one?’’ you asked, handing the package to him.

he alternated his gaze between you and the package, your expecting eyes on him the whole time.

‘’yeah, but... i don't want any of those.’’ he answered and you already felt your throat close up a little. ‘’i want yours. can i have it?’’

fuck, that's it. it's your chance. don't fuck it up.

‘’yeah.’’ you answered, glancing at his arm passing over your shoulder. your stomach seemed to tie a double knot, your heart was beating so fast it felt like you were going to have a heart attack at any moment.

before your eyes could register, his lips touched yours tenderly, savoring the first contact as much as possible, like touching the grass after a rain on a calm afternoon, the smell of wet soil invading your lungs with force while you felt like a flower blooming on the first day of spring.

he was calm, but intense. you couldn't explain it, you could only feel every sensation he brought you with that simple kiss as he tried to taste your mouth when the tip of his tongue passed over your bottom lip. you let out a sigh you didn't even know you were holding when the kiss deepened, he explored the confines of your mouth as much as he could, swirling his tongue around yours, the mint candy passing from one mouth to the other in an almost frantic manner. his hand tightened on your shoulder, bringing you closer. you didn't even know what to do with your hands, keeping them gripping the arm of the seat.

you broke the kiss when you were forced to take a breath, panting softly, the candy had disappeared from your mouth, leaving only the slight burn of mint on your taste buds. but still, the taste of his kiss prevailed.

‘’wow.’’ he was the first to break the silence, running his thumb over your bottom lip, cleaning the trace of saliva from there. ‘’i think i accidentally swallowed the candy.’’

you chuckled, not really caring about it, your mind in a spiral, his kiss fresh on your lips like fresh paint. ‘’there's more here if you want it.’’ you replied, watching him shake his head slightly, his eyes drinking in your almost silhouette in the low light of the movie theater, he heard murmurs around, but nothing that took his attention away from you.

‘’maybe later, love. it was just an excuse for me to be able to kiss you.’’ he whispered, pecking your lips, making you practically beg for more as you tilted your head towards him, searching for his lips like a magnet. he let out a small chuckle. ‘’did you like it that much?’’

‘’you're a good kisser.’’ you admitted quietly. he really was a good kisser. you didn't know if it was because of your bad kissing history, but you also didn't want to burn your neurons thinking about it. you wanted his kiss again. and again. and again.

and he would be more than happy to give it to you.

he kissed you again, his lips searching for the perfect rhythm, still trying to fit together as precisely as a jigsaw puzzle. his breathing was heavy, the air exhaled through his nose and hit your cheek, the texture of his wet lips against yours brought you the feeling of being completely ecstatic as he moved his tongue, as if he was inviting yours to a slow dance.

his right hand passed over yours, his thumb lightly caressing your knuckles and fingers, sliding over the silver ring you had on your middle finger. you sighed softly when the hand that was on top of yours rested on your bare knee. before you could break the kiss again due to lack of air, a loud noise echoed through the speakers spread throughout the movie theater, startling both of you. oh, damn trailers.

‘’you good?’’ he asked, merely amused that you were startled by it, both of his hands rubbing your shoulder and knee simultaneously.

‘’yeah, just... unexpected.’’ you chuckled, feeling his lips pressing a small kiss on your forehead, giving you time to recover and maybe get in the mood again as the trailers played on the huge screen.

you felt comfortable enough to lay your head on his shoulder, the strands of your hair tickling his nose as he turned his face to place a tender kiss on the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a moment, inhaling the scent of your shampoo on your soft locks, almost burying his face there.

‘’i love how you smell. really.’’ he said softly, as if he was admitting more to himself than to you. he couldn't help it, as if everything inside him was succumbing to you. he didn't expect this on a first date, but he wasn't trying hard to stop it either.

‘’hm?’’ you asked, moving your head so you could look at him, waiting for him to repeat himself because you really hadn't heard, the sound of the voices from the movie forced him to speak louder or get closer to your ear.

but he didn't answer you. he kissed you instead, feeling the sweetness of your lips pressed against his. this almost made him groan, his desire increasing with each caress exchanged, with each miserable sigh you let out. the hand that was on your knee went up to your thigh, feeling more precisely how soft your skin was. the feeling stretched the smile on his lips.

‘’just the way i imagined. god, you have no idea how much i wanted to touch you like this. how much i craved this...’’ he whispered between your lips, feeling your warm breath hitting his lips. you were already numb, if you weren't sitting down, you were definitely on the floor, your senses seemed to be reduced to dust at this moment. ‘’so soft…’’ he whispered again, sinking his fingers into the warm flesh of your thigh, threatening to advance under your dress.

‘’alex…’’ you whispered back, your voice a mix of desire and nervousness. and as always, he knew it.

‘’is it okay if i touch you?’’ he asked, his head tilted back so he could look you in the eyes, seeking the assurance that it would be okay if he continued. you nodded, your desire speaking louder than any other insecurity or fear. you mentally thanked yourself for having shaved during the shower. not that you were expecting it, but... well, you were.

he kept his face close to yours, watching every single expression as his hand inched closer, your heat radiating more and more as you bit your lip in anticipation and excitement. he palmed your core, raising his eyebrows in a slight surprise.

‘’fuck, baby. soaked already. i didn't even do anything.’’ he let out in a sly tone, his fingers collecting your wetness over your panties, almost making you whine. he was delicate, he wanted to discover everything about you little by little, despite having already seen your cunt on video call. but it was different in person.

he teased you over the thin and wet material, almost feeling your folds molding in the panties, sticking and soaking even more when he found your clit, the bud marking the spot for being so swollen and needy.

instantly, it was like a switch had turned in his head. he didn't want to touch you anymore. he wanted to taste you. eat you. devour you.

you watched as he got on his knees on the carpeted floor, crawling that narrow and tight hallway just to stand in front of you. you widen your eyes a bit, getting a little alarmed by the idea.

‘’what are you going to do?’’

‘’gonna eat you out, babe. no one will see me, i promise. only you.’’ he answered, his hands going to your knees, looking up at you. your face was lit only by the movie screen, the flashes illuminating your insecure expressions more and more. ‘’need to taste you, please.’’

please. again.

your hands itched. you wanted this so much, so much. but you were also scared, a huge impasse. a voice in your head told you to go and another told you not to go. but oh, those big puppy eyes looking up at you was your undoing.

‘’okay.’’ you agreed, lifting your hips so he could take off your panties, each act increased the flow of adrenaline running through your veins, your body heated up as well as the rest of your organism as he held your knees, spreading your legs for him.

he held your panties, his fist closing around the lace, feeling the gluey wetness against his palm, making his cock twitch inside his jeans. he was hungry. so hungry for you.

‘’closer.’’ he urged, pulling your hips, leaving your ass almost off the chair, your body in a position almost lying on the armchair, your eyes wandering around before returning to him, his breath creeping up on your thigh. ‘’that's it, baby. you okay?’’ he asked, wanting one last confirmation that everything was okay with you before he continued.

‘’mhm... taste me, al. please.’’ you whispered to him, lust filled eyes looking down at him in a silent plea.

and nothing else was needed. no words, no encouragement. it was like the starting gun for alex to just bury his face between your legs, his greedy tongue sliding along your vulva, from bottom to top, collecting your juices. it was like he was tasting a drink for the first time. but it wasn't like he was eating pussy for the first time. but it was your pussy. it was different. he didn't know exactly what it was, but it was different, it made him want to get drunk, to drown in your ocean.

‘’my god, so fucking good…’’ he mumbled against your folds, moving his lips up to suck your clit, sucking so hard that you closed your legs around his head with equal force, your hands gripped the armrest of the seats until the blood stopped circulating in your hands, turning it white. “sorry, did i hurt you?” he paused, looking up at you.

“n-no, you were just... hasty.” you replied after blinking a few times, loosening the grip of your legs around his head, feeling the soft touch of his hands on your inner thighs, pushing your legs apart again, keeping his hands there to hold you in case you close them again.

“sorry. gonna take it slow for you, honey.” he apologized, feeling a little guilty for having done that on the first contact. 

but it was a little difficult for him to control himself. since he saw you last time, he had lost count of how many times he fucked his own fist imagining himself like that, rubbing his face in your pussy, sucking, licking, biting, touching every single inch of that area. it was like a personal achievement.

now, he knew he needed to take it slow. he wanted to make it good for you, to make you whimper his name and reduce you to a mess in that seat. he looked up at you, taking the sight of your scrunched face, your eyes leaving his to look around, making sure no one was looking. 

god, he had such a good tongue. you were already sure of that when he kissed you, but you really weren't expecting it to be even better as he lapped your folds calmly, but with that hint of hunger deep down. he mumbled something that you didn't even hear or try to understand, your head falling back slightly, your saliva running down your throat with difficulty. then, he tapped your thigh, catching your attention.

“can you do me a favor, love?” he asked, taking a breath that he didn't even know he needed, his lips were already starting to get swollen. “give me a mint.” he pointed to the package next to you. you looked back at him, deciphering what he was thinking of doing. “you'll like it, trust me.”

and you trusted him.

you took a candy from the package carefully, the green tiny ball stayed in the palm of your hand until you brought it to your mouth. he hummed in gratitude, feeling the freshness mixing with the taste of your pussy on his tongue. 

you felt your heart pounding against your chest, your face boiling red. he was no different, and for him it was a little worse, because he already felt that familiar feeling in the lower region, his jeans getting tighter at every moment. he wanted to release, he needed it. but he wanted to take care of you first.

his tongue meets your meaty slimy folds once again, you gasped when you felt it burn a little, but not in a bad way. it was a cooling burn, like an ice cube sliding up and down your pussy, making the mint press on your clit while he slobbered on your cunt like a starving man.

“good?” he muttered to you, looking up. you were a mess, shaking and squirming at his ministrations. 

“s-so good, please… more.” you babbled as he gave a smirk at your answer. his thumb moved to press on your clit, feeling it pulsing, craving, almost screaming his name. 

“i'm gonna ruin it.” you whispered, afraid that you would mess up his perfectly slicked back hair.

“gonna give you more, baby. your pussy is so delicious, holy shit.” his filthy mouth only sent shivers down your spine, the freshness and the eager way he eats you out made you see stars before your eyes, little twinkling dots as you felt a knot forming at the pit of your belly. you trembled, your hands gripping the arms of the seat, needing to ground yourself. “my hair, sweetie. you can grab it.” he hummed, holding your wrists, bringing your hands to his hair, the hair gel felt cool in your palms.

“i don't fucking care. make a mess, babe.” his voice sounded almost harsh as his hands returned to your plushy thighs, his sloppy tongue moving across your labia and clit, making your cunt pulse in an overwhelming rhythm.

it all seemed too much for you. the adrenaline, the hunger, the filthy words infesting your mind. your eyes rolled back as you gripped his greasy hair, a few strands falling down his sweaty forehead. you couldn't hold on for any longer.

“al, 'm gonna cum…” you choked as your hips bucked, almost like you're trying to run away from his mouth.

“fuck yes, come on my mouth, please, please…” he grunted, your words settling in his mind like a command. he grabbed your hips roughly, keeping you in place, his rolling tongue snaking through your folds and teasing your gaping entrance before your entire body shook, your back arching in the chair in an erotic way as your thighs clamped shut as you trembled, milking on his tongue.

you gasped for air, your fingers still clenching in his hair as he drank every last drop of your release, sucking it all in like he was a vacuum cleaner until he lifted his head again, his mouth coated and glistening, totally covered in you.

“fuck, i can't explain…” he breathed out. he almost came in his pants at that, as embarrassing as it was for him to admit. he wouldn't even dare palm himself now, any touch now would be dangerous and he would have a lot of work to clean it up later. “so fucking good, i swear. god, it was better than i imagined.”

you let out a breathless laugh, taking the sight of him on his knees, his forehead resting on your knee for a second as he caught his breath.

“i need to fuck you.”

a fierce blush spread over your cheeks at his words. you were never the type of person to have sex on the first date. but no, you weren't going to deny it. not when you wanted it as much as he did. not when he was different.

“and i need you to fuck me.”

the movie theater was behind you as your hurried footsteps made your way outside. your heart was beating as fast as your steps, you were even walking faster than him, his hand holding yours while the other hand still held your panties inside his closed fist. yeah, you didn't even bother to put it on. it’s not like you're going to need it now.

“motel?” he asked you. you shook your head. your adventurous spirit was at its peak now, and besides... you trusted him, but not enough to let him take you to a motel. 

“no, i was thinking about…” you said, stopping when you got close to his motorcycle. at this point, it was the only motorcycle parked there, and there were only three other cars there, all considerably far from where you were. 

“here?” he asked you, raising his eyebrows. he looked around. it was a quiet spot. it wasn't as well lit as the rest of that almost deserted parking lot. ‘’on my bike?’’ he asked again as he saw you leaning to support your weight a little on the leather seat. you swallowed a little, not knowing if he thought it was a good idea. or if he wouldn't like it.

‘’we don't have to…’’

‘’i want to.’’ alex approached you, putting his helmet on the ground near the front wheel of the bike and you did the same with your purse. he caged you between his body and the motorcycle, his arms on either side of your body, the heat of his body transmitting to yours. ‘’i just think you deserve to be fucked in a bed.’’

again, his words seemed to light a flame inside you. ‘’we can leave it for next time. i really like your bike.’’ you giggled, feeling his nose touching your cheek as he kissed your jaw. he smiled against your skin. you’re already thinking about the next time.

‘’course you did, huh? alright then. gonna fuck you from behind, what do you think?’’ he suggested, making you spin on your heels, your lower belly touching the leather seat, feeling his hard cock almost poking your ass if it weren't for the layers of clothes getting in the way. you could feel how thick he is. just like in the photos and videos.

alex didn't want to waste time. he handed you your panties so you could hold them yourself, soon having his hands free to unbuckle his belt and lower the zipper of his jeans, putting his hand inside his boxers to take out his pulsing and aching length of that tightness that felt like a prison.

he pumped his cock a few times while his other hand was lost inside his pants pocket, taking his wallet to take out a condom from inside.

‘’i can't see a damn thing.’’ he complained softly, searching for the foil package in the compartments of his wallet, finally finding it after a thorough search, ripping the packaging with his teeth and rolling it on his cock. ‘’you good?'' he asked, kissing your bare shoulder, his body molding against yours like a lego piece fitting together.

‘’mhmm, can't wait…’’ you nodded eagerly, bending your body a bit more on the motorcycle, feeling him lift the hem of your dress a bit, almost twisting the fabric as he closed his fist against it to keep it above your tailbone.

‘’such a greedy girl, huh? all shy when you saw me and now you're practically begging me to fuck you on top of my motorcycle.’’ he teased you, sliding his already condom-covered cock through your sticky folds before lining his fat tip at your entrance. ‘’are you a virgin?’’

‘’no.’’ you answered without having to think much.

‘’good.’’ he replied. not that he would have a problem if you were, but he felt like he would have to be a lot more careful. and that it should preferably be in a bed and not on top of a motorcycle.

god, you both were on fire. all the video calls, all the times he masturbated in front of the camera for you, all the nights he daydreamed about you, none of it came close to this moment. he have you, all of you, including your pussy, all to himself so he could fuck you senseless.

his tip slowly nudged and stretched you, an almost pathetic moan dared to escape your lips as you balanced yourself, letting your weight fall on the bike. he almost let a whine escape as he felt the warmth of your pussy. god, he couldn't even measure how much he wanted this, how much he had desired this since the moment he saw you.

‘’ready?’’ he asked one last time, his breath threatening to fail, his cock was already aligned, he just needed to push, your pussy was so wet from your own wetness and his spit from earlier.

‘’please…’’ you whined, looking at him over your shoulder, feeling his hand go to your waist to squeeze and bring some stability to him.

so, he didn't hold back. alex tortuously stretched your cunt as he began thrusting deliciously slowly, his bulky cock pushing past your tight gummy walls until he bottomed out.

‘’fuck.’’ he said between gritted teeth at the feeling of your pussy already clenching around him, so tightly that it was almost hard to move. ‘’sure you’re not a virgin? so fucking tight.’’

you could chuckle at his words if you weren’t trying to get used to him. ‘’you're the one who's too much for me.’’ you replied. you weren't used to this. when you saw his cock on the screen of your laptop, you knew it was big, but you didn't know you'd have to work to accommodate it, you didn't know he'd stretch you so much.

‘’easy, baby. let me in.’’ he coaxed you. ‘’shit, you're so…’’ he grunted again, swallowing thickly. he didn't know if it was because he was really horny for that moment or if it was because you were really tight. maybe both.

your hands gripped the leather of the seat, your palms sweating more as you tried to relax for him, letting alex pump his cock in and out of you, your cunt swallowing and sucking him up, almost trapping him inside you.

‘’yeah, just like this, doing so good, let me fuck you good, hm?’’ he whispered in your ear, kissing your earlobe, starting to thrust at a gradually increasing pace. he released your dress, bringing his hand to your cheek, pinching it slightly, making your skin flush where he pinched.

‘’fuck, you feel so good, so thick…’’ you gasped, your eyes getting glassy because while it felt good, it was also too much for you. he smiled cockily at your praise, holding your chin with his thumb and index finger, making you turn your face so you could look at him.

‘’yeah, baby? do you like my cock? it's so much better in person, hm? you're sucking him whole already.’’ he mumbled, pounding into your pussy with purpose. your eyes closed shut, an almost pornographic moan escaping your lips.

alex could scold you not to moan so loud because they were in public, but fuck, he liked it. he loved watching you practically cry while he fucked you dumb like he hated you. he loved praise you. and you loved being praised. not by anyone, but by him.

this was definitely the most intense, rough and nasty sex you had ever experienced. and you didn't know how much you loved it until you felt his cock filling your warm and wet cunt, you didn't know if the squeaking sound was because of the bike rocking to your rhythm or if it was your pussy that was so wet it was starting to squish.

you whimpered when his hand wrapped around your throat, the cold metal of his ring pressed right into your windpipe making you want to cough amidst your moans. his belt buckle hit your thigh, the tingling sound echoing through your ears as he thrusted hard into you, your greedy pussy was already creaming him to the brim, his abs tensed with the familiar feeling of an approaching climax.

you started to feel that pressure building right below your belly button, your knees threatening to fail, and his grip tightened on your waist, keeping you up. alex angled his hips, hitting your spot right on target, making you mewl, closing your eyes shut. he watched your face, knowing he had hit it. so he did it again. and again. and again.

‘’gonna cum for me again?’’ he asked with a satisfied smile on his lips, seeing you nodding immediately. ‘’yeah?’’' and he hitted that spot again, rolling his hips, the soft skin of your ass slapping against his pelvis, you could feel that region of him more assertively, feeling that the area had been trimmed. no pubic hair. at least not now on this first date.

‘’gonna cum for you, al, i'm gonna-’’ you stammered, almost letting a bit of saliva escape your mouth. you were so fucked up in a literal way, you could barely remember where you were and what day it was.

you clenched hard around his cock, almost making him stop. he let out a whimper. oh god, a whimper. you've heard him moan before, but they were rough, throaty moans. it was a whimper, a plea, a sign that he was getting sensitive and that he would cum at any moment, just waiting for you.

alex kissed your neck, doing his best not to leave visible marks on you, sinking inside you with lazy and sloppily thrusts, his fat tip hitting your cervix over and over again. your smell mixed with sweat felt like something heavenly, making him want to live in your skin, live inside you forever if it meant continuing to have this feeling.

your eyes rolled as you felt your orgasm hitting you like a bullet. your toes curled, your legs closed and your knees gave out as you whined, but he thrusted harder, forcing you to stand up again to finish, you squealed at how deliciously rough he was with you.

‘’wish i could fill you up with my cum, baby.’’ he groaned, his words already tying his own mind in knots, a chill ran through his body like electricity at the thought of filling you with his cum, marking you with it to the brim, and that was enough for him to cum, his hot cum shooting up your walls, being contained by the condom. you felt everything heat up even more inside you. ‘’mmm fucking hell…’’ he exhaled, his body stopping completely when he felt there was nothing left to come out, he had already emptied himself completely inside you. or rather, the condom.

you were shaking, still experiencing the aftershocks of your orgasm, feeling him loosen his grip on your throat, his fingers running through your hair, removing some from your sweaty face.

‘’are you okay?’’ he asked, searching your face. you licked your puffy pouty lips, a fucked out expression plastered on your face as a low chuckle escaped.

‘’yeah. i just need some time.’’ you admitted. he hummed in agreement.

‘’i'm gonna pull out, okay?’’ he announced softly, his hand on your waist lightly caressing you with his thumb as he disconnected from you, you hissed at the feeling. your sore pussy was already used to him as if it no longer made sense not to feel him filling you anymore. ‘’there you go, babe.’’ he cooed, massaging your lower back as you took a breath and found the strength to stand up.

he discarded the used condom, his sensitive and sticky cock was already inside his boxers. you turned around to see him, he was a fucking sight to behold. he smiled at you, a fucked out expression was also tattooed on his face along with his messy hair.

‘’what?’’ he asked, buckling his belt again.

‘’you're so hot.’’ you said almost in a whisper.

‘’uh oh. you're flattering me already.’’ he chuckled, almost shy at your compliment, circling his arms around you, caressing your exhausted body. alex kissed the top of your head, acting so delicate like he wasn’t fucking you like you’re a slut minutes ago. ‘’that was amazing, really. you are amazing.’’

you smiled, letting him spread sweet kisses over the top of your head. it wasn't like an aftercare in bed, with cuddles and a hot bath afterwards, but it was enough for you now. he was enough for you now.

‘’want some water?' i can buy some for us.’’ he asked you. you shook your head, even though your throat was dry now, you didn't want to bother him. he could sense it. ‘’you’re so stubborn.’’ he grumbled in a playful way, breaking the hug. ‘’be right back.’’

you laughed foolishly, watching him go back to the movie theater. you took the opportunity to put your panties back on, the lace panties were in your hand the whole time and you couldn't stay without your underwear all the time. alex came back with a bottle of cold water for you a few minutes later. you drank half of the bottle, leaving the other half for him. he let out a satisfied sigh when he finished, throwing the plastic bottle in the trash.

‘’can i take you home?’’

you thought about the offer. your parents couldn't even dream of seeing you arrive on a motorcycle owned by a 'stranger' but you also didn't want to turn down his ride.

‘’sure.’’ you smiled at him, accepting the ride. alex had an extra helmet that he kept under the seat of his motorcycle. not that he always took someone with him, it was more for occasional situations like this.

soon enough, you were on his bike, wrapping your arms around his waist. alex would sometimes accelerate exaggeratedly just to irritate you, your voice almost shrill amidst the frenzy of the streets telling him to slow down. he laughed and you laughed along, pinching his belly over the fabric of his shirt as you felt him speeding his bike through the streets. you loved the adrenaline, the wind cutting through your face partially covered by the helmet and the low sound of his laughter when you told him to slow down a little.

you had already hitched a ride on a motorcycle a few times, but now, somehow, it felt different. as if your body next to his warmed you up more than usual as you held on tight to him whenever he accelerated after the traffic light turned green.

and this heat got worse when you looked at him in the right rearview mirror, seeing that the helmet covered part of his face, leaving only his eyes focused on the traffic visible, his huge nose and a small part of his upper lip. you have to say that you had a certain kind of meltdown when he caught you looking at him by looking at your reflection in the mirror.

soon, he was parking his motorcycle next to your house, you asked him to drop you off a few houses earlier so as not to run any risks. deep down, you wished he would take longer to get there, but you didn't dare say it out loud as you handed the helmet back to him. there was still a hint of afterglow in the air as he put the helmet back in silence.

‘’so, did you like the movie?’’ he asked in a playful way. obviously he wasn't referring to the movie. you giggled.

‘’yeah. very much.’’ you smiled at him, feeling his arms back to your waist, pulling you closer to him.

‘’i loved it. i loved meeting you. you're so fucking prettier in person.’’ he said, taking in the sight of you under the amber streetlight.

he couldn't help but want to kiss you, making you have to tilt your face so your head wouldn't hit the visor of his helmet. you could taste yourself in his mouth, but you weren't the least bit worried about it, wanting to savor this moment before he left.

‘’i'll see you next week?’’ he asked after breaking the kiss, his face still close to yours.

‘’next week?’’ you asked, blinking a few times.

‘’yeah. there's going to be a get-together at the pub where i work next saturday.’’ he replied, making an informal invitation to you.

you needed to think a little. you didn't usually go to pubs, much less at night. you really needed to think before accepting. he smiled at you, pinching your cheek.

‘’don't worry, you'll have time to think. but the entrance is free.’’ he pecked your lips one last time. ‘’and i'll make sure to make the best margarita you've ever had in your life.’’

a/n: riiiiight. this is my first note here after post something, just a taglist for my babe 'cause she asked me to: @thenightslikeawhirlwind

(let me know if you want to be tagged too :3)

[lkblackham]

'Sup.

It's

🫥 WIP Wednesday ✨

Varric was sitting in that hard-ass chair in total darkness for *hours*. Totally worth it.

This page, btw, is actually from that webtoon/insightful anti-capitalist article I keep mentioning but have not published. Yet. I have a LOT of fan service I still need to refine.

I will say I am *particularly* excited about this panel, though:

*conspiratorial smoulder*

But that's for tomorrow. Here, today, I have like a bajillion things I've been working on that I want to share.

Should I space these out in different posts and not dump them all in one go because they just overwhelm readers and this is not how you do a WIP post?

Sure, I could do that.

.....

Anyway, here's Bel and (?) Emmrich in this sappy comic that's been on the back burner for a while but I really wanna finish:

.... what? That's just how his skull helmet looks. I KNOW HOW TO DRAW SKULLS. I just need like twelve reference images and an Ativan.

This is going to be really cute, though, if I do say so myself. Drawing these lil Volkarin Family Headcanon comics has actually been really, genuinely therapeutic for me. With every chubby baby face and proud papa Emmrich I draw, I regain one brain cell.

And then I promptly lose that brain cell with *this* nonsense:

The story here is that, in my DA:TV headcanon, the team do little sparring matches in the courtyard at the Lighthouse. Emmrich asks to spar Atash (my Qunari Mage Rook) and things get... weirdly steamy.

Whether or not I ever finish this depends on how many cute baby comics I draw to balance out the shameless soft-core smut. And also my thesis, I guess. I keep forgetting about that thing. I wonder how it's doing.

Speaking of how one is doing, I'm going to end this with a really EXCITING announcement:

THAT'S RIGHT, I was diagnosed this past week! FINALLY, at the age of 32 and barely able to leave the house, doctors gave a darn and sent me off for tests for which I have been BEGGING throughout the last decade.

I am not joking, though, this is actually an IMMENSE relief and cause for celebration. I've known I have some kind of weird horrible gut thing going on since I started getting really sick all the time at the age of 20. Since then, doctors have put me off by:

Suggesting I "eat healthier"

Suggesting it might just be period cramps

Suggesting it might just be mild allergies

Suggesting it might just be anxiety

Suggesting it might just be hormones

Suggesting that I was too fat to have celiac disease when I brought it up (I gained a LOT of weight during the 2020 lockdown in the UK)

Suggesting that I'm just old (at age 30) and this is 'normal for that age'.

You might notice that ALL of these were suggestions and not, you know, actual declarative diagnoses or even an attempt to reach one. I've had good doctors, don't get me wrong, but holy crap it really sucks to be a woman in any healthcare system.

I consider this part of my WIP Wednesday because this diagnosis was the result of a years-long effort to figure out what was really wrong with me and dammit it deserves recognition SOMEWHERE (besides my medical records).

To anyone struggling with a mystery chronic illness: I love you so much. You have my deepest, sincerest empathy. I know it doesn't help, but it can't hurt to know there's one stranger on the internet rooting for you.

Thanks for taking the time to read. I really appreciate it. Kisses, *mwah*.

[satosuguwifee]

Between Claws and Caresses — Ryomen Sukuna x F!reader

Synopsis: When your boyfriend comes to pick you up for a walk, a certain feline attracts the pink-haired man's attention.

Contents: fluff.

Friday, the holy day on which Y/n can finally have some free time. She hums the song Single Ladies while applying mascara to her eyelashes, then admiring the result in the mirror.

Suddenly, the sound of the doorbell made the girl jump in fright before sighing in recognition of who might be there, waiting for her. She left the room with the towel covering her freshly wet body and walked to the entrance of her house, unlocking the door and smiling as she recognized the familiar pink head of hair in front of her.

—Good afternoon Sukuboo, are you so eager for our outing that you came early?

— Tsk, you sound like a brat. You're always late, you idiot.

— You really love me, huh?

The girl says ironically and makes room for her friend/enemy to enter. How did these two, who are like water and oil, end up becoming a duo? Not even the most divine being could answer this riddle.

They both went up to her room and soon Sukuna was sitting wide-eyed on the bed, fiddling with his cell phone without paying any attention to the girl in front of him.

— Try to hurry before I change my mind and dump you here. — he says as he continues to type, his red eyes focused on the screen.

— Why, you wouldn't— Y/n fell silent when the man raised that intimidating eyebrow in her direction, as if to say "Are you sure?". — Yes, you definitely would!

The pink-haired man just rolled his eyes and went back to looking at his cell phone, mumbling a single phrase: "5 minutes". The girl immediately ran into the bathroom, picking up the look she had sorted in advance before locking herself in and starting to get ready.

Sukuna, on the other hand, remained seated and watched something he loves when he has free time: laughing at the countless videos of children getting into mischief that exist on the internet.

Suddenly, the sound of the door creaking open fills the relatively quiet bedroom, and Sukuna's attention immediately turns in the direction of the sound, coming across a small, furry being next to his feet, staring at him with curious eyes.

— What are you looking at? — Sukuna says as he grimaces while looking at the feline, making it obvious that he dislikes it.

He then nudges the cat with the tip of his foot to push it away, knowing that if he pulled out any of its fur, Y/n would surely turn into the demon itself.

Not that he feared that angry brat...

...Of course not...

While Sukuna was distracted, he was a little startled when the cat, instead of doing what he wanted, just jumped into his lap.

"Meow!"

— Urgh... Insolent creature. — The pink-haired man grabs the cat by the scruff of the neck and throws it on the floor, not even caring if he's hurt it or not. Then he simply lies down on the bed and goes back to watching the videos from before.

However, to his second surprise of the day, the cat jumped on the bed and once again climbed up and lay on Sukuna's chest, staring at him again.

"Meow."

Sukuna just continued to stare at the inferior being with a certain disgust and, oddly enough, a little interest. Because he naturally had a more frightening and intimidating aura, no human being or even animal avoided him. But, like the cat's owner, the feline seemed just as stubborn as she was in wanting contact with him.

So, by this comparison, Sukuna put the tip of her index finger against the top of the cat's head, scratching it lightly with her fingernail, and that was enough for a noise to start coming out of the kitten: its famous purr.

Sukuna's fingers moved through the soft fur, and the little creature's purr even seemed to soften the man's heart (if only a little). A discreet, unconscious smile appeared on his face, while his bloodshot eyes still gazed at how the creature seemed so cozy inside him.

— All right, sorry it took to long— Y/N soon comes out of the bathroom completely tidy, and as soon as she's faced with the sight of the cute moment between her cat and her ice-hearted friend, she melts. — Kunaaa, do you have a thing for cats?

— Tsk, of course not. — he replies and once again picks up the cat by the scruff of its neck and throws it on the floor, then wipes the hair off with the back of his hand. — Shit, now I'm full of hair.

— Hey, who do you think you are to throw Luke Skywalker around like that? — The girl stomps out of the bathroom and stops right in front of her friend, glaring at him. — That's how you're going to get in danger with me, my dear.

— I laugh in the face of danger, brat.

Sukuna says as he gives her a debauched smile and then punches her hard in the forehead, burying his hands in his pants pockets.

— Urgh! Just let's go, asshole!

Y/n left the room again with those hard steps, eliciting a low laugh from the rosy-cheeked man who was delighted to see her get angry.

As soon as he took a few steps towards the door, he stopped and turned his face away to find Luke sitting at the desk by the door. Then, taking advantage of the fact that no one was there, he put his hand on the top of the feline's head, earning a meow in return.

— Hunf...

Sukuna smiled a little at the sound and then rolled his eyes when he heard the girl's annoying voice calling him, and then closed the door behind him, walking over to his friend and preparing to stay with the idiot he felt obliged to live with.

[anon-sect]

Picture source: Internet

story requested by @axeegliter

Ever since Charlie Puth got his big break on The Ellen DeGeneres Show back in 2011, Jace, Pete and Andy became huge fans of the singer. They all loved his music. All three roommates could be heard by their neighbors playing his songs very loud through the walls. The one thing they all have wanted to do was to meet the guy in person. After following is singing and songwriting career, they decided to make it happen one day.

One opportunity finally presented itself for all three of them to me the famous singer in person. Andy had heard that Charlie was attending a friend's party. Since it was a private party, there was no way for them to get in, but Pete had an idea that just might work. They would sneak in as servers for the party. Once they were inside, they would ditch the outfits and blend in with the rest of the attendees of the party. It was carefully throughout plan. At some point during the party, they would get to chat with the singer and maybe take a picture with him.

On the day of the private party, everything went initially according to plan. All three were in their server outfits and blended in with the rest of the hired servers. When the head guy asked about them, they told him they were extras that were sent to him to help out. Seeing so many at the party, the head guy appreciated whoever sent them. He had liked the extra help.

When the time was right, Pete, Jace and Andy went to quick change into something else. The plan was to meet the singer, take a quick photo and leave before anyone suspected anything.

Everything almost went according to plan. Before they could get close enough to speak to Charlie, the head guy had two other servers round them up. He had verified that they weren't apart of his crew and was about to escort them off the premises. It was at that moment that Charlie heard the commotion and came over to see what was going on.

Pete, Andy and Jace explained why they were there. The head guy was highly upset that they tried to crash a private party, but Charlie calmed him down. He told him there was solution to help all involved. He had the head guy keep them at that location till he came back. Charlie returned holding an old looking cell phone device.

Charlie pointed the camera at Andy and hit the flash button. Andy vanished to be replaced with a Nike sock. Pete and Jace were shocked. They began to plead to let them go after seeing Andy turned into a literal sock. "You see guys, this is how I deal with crazy fans that don't know boundaries. I grant them their wishes while giving me something useful at the same time. I have shirts, pants, shoes and socks that were former fans. Now, they get to be with me forever and I get durable clothing and footwear items. It's a win-win in my opinion." Charlie spoke as the hit the flash button at Pete. Jace saw that Pete was now just a sock. Jace wondered if it was permanent. Charlie just laughed as he flashed him, reducing him to a pair of underwear on the floor. He picked up the pair of socks and underwear. The material felt good in his hands. He could only imagine how his new socks would fee on feet. Yet, he remembered he has several pairs of human-transformed socks in his sock drawer. This pair will be just like the others he already collected since becoming famous. HIs fans make excellent clothing and footwear, while fulfilling their dreams.

Charlie went to the bathroom to change out into his new pair of underwear and socks. It was no time like the present to get these fans use to their new existence as objects he now owns.

Andy didn't expect the singer to literally turn him into an article of clothing, let alone a literal sock. He felt Charlie's foot enter his hollowed-out body and fit snuggly on his foot. He could taste the saltiness of the singer's foot and smell a slight odor coming from it. A few wiggling of the toes showed him who was now in charge. He mentally pleaded for Charlie to let him go, but have no means to vocalize his plea, there was no way to call out for any kind of help. Bearing the full weight on his now sock body had every nerve ending on fire. Somehow, he retained his senses, just with greater intensity. It was torture being worn on foot.

Pete was not fond of feet much, not unless it was really clean and nice smelling feet. Even then he bearly tolerated being close to feet. This new existence was a complete nightmare. He was literally being worn on feet. He was disgusted at tasting the singer's feet without any choice or free will. The odor wasn't bad yet, but still smelling it was bad enough. Being crushed under Charlie's feet was the most intense pain he had ever felt. The fact that being walked on made the intensity almost hundred times worse. Fresh pain with each step the guy took.

Jace was wishing for death the moment he was securely fit around the singer's waist. He knew exactly what he had been turned into the moment he saw Charlie's dick directly in his face. Since his face was facing inward in his new form. this would be his only view for the rest of his life. Hearing that they would never see his humanity ever again, made him want to cry. He had a life, a really good life. Being stuck as another man's underwear was no life at all. He couldn't move to show his frustration about being clothing and he couldn't speak to call out for help. He and his friends were completely at Charlie's mercy.

Charlie put his old sock and underwear back in his car and went back to join his friend's party. Only one person knew about what he did to those three fans, and he promised he wouldn't say a word about it since they were party crashers anyway. The guy thought they got what they deserved. He partially agreed on that point, but crazy fans who don't know boundaries do make good clothing items. Some might like being his possessions and some he was sure were probably hating their new life. Honestly, he ceases to care what they felt or even if they were liking their new existence the moment he turns them into objects. Once changed, they are treated as what they now look like. Every transformed article of clothing gets treated the same no matter what.

[onesidedradiostatic]

If I may contribute to the Alastor body pillow saga with a reference to both how Val is an artist and an anon I sent way, way back… Valentino making sexy Alastor art for Vox in a desperate effort to get his internet connection and cell service back. And to maybe not have to sleep on the couch tonight.

What’s extra funny is Viv actually canonized what Alastor’s arms and legs look like (in fully SFW art!!). It comes up if you google image search “Alastor hooves” as this is how people first found out Alastor has hooves. But if Valentino is anything like the real life NSFW artists drawing Alastor, he has not seen this and will get it entirely wrong. Not the hoof part, those will still be hooves. But the rest… nope! It makes me feel better about seeing NSFW Alastor art cause then I can just say it’s Vox’s fantasy version of him. Oh, they drew him with someone else? The Killers’ Mr Brightside starts playing. “And it’s all in my head, but she’s touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now, let me goooo…”

(reference to this ask about val being an artist)

OKAY SO yes I have seen that image LMAOOO. I haven't. seen nsfw alastor art though (not properly anyways I might have glimpsed and skipped over some fast before LMAO). so sorry to see I don't really have an idea of what you're talking about. honestly I think any sexy alastor art created by valentino would just be promptly and constantly corrected by vox depending on how much he knows based on their past friendship and/or his stalking, like he may nitpick on the tiny details. (it started to get annoying after a while so val stopped doing it except in cases where he desperately needed his wifi back. so vox only gets it when in arguments with val. this is why he has to look to other sources like lucif-- /shot)

also seeing sexual or romantic art of alastor being as just part of vox's fantasies is so real though LMASDSHKSL because same!!!

[hippolotamus]

Eddie’s thumb hovers over the location dropdown in the weather app, just like every day. And just like all those other days he allows himself to click it. The list unfolds as he huffs a humorless chuckle at how much it’s grown.

When he got his first cell, the only place he ever needed was current location. Technically, it’s still the only one he needs. Regardless he’s continued adding to it through the years. Hershey, Virginia Beach, a couple random towns in the Carolinas, Georgia and Florida. Fucking Sundance, Wyoming. All because he gave up pretending he doesn’t need to know.

It’s sunny, mid-50s today. A nice break for the time of year. Eddie scrolls through the upcoming week, noting a heavy snowstorm hitting in a few days. His nose wrinkles and he begins to worry his bottom lip between his teeth. Another thing born out of pure habit.

Not for the first time he types out a few messages before deleting them again. Eddie doesn’t even know if he’s got the right number. It’s been nearly three years since they exchanged anything at all. Not since Eddie could have manned up and told Shannon he could be a father, but not a husband. Not her husband, anyway.

He could have just been honest and said what he wanted when she finally decided to show up in her second trimester. He and Evan could have continued building a life together. But Eddie’s never claimed to be smart. Especially when it comes to all the bullshit his own dad drilled into his head about responsibility and honor and god knows what the fuck else. In the end it was too sticky to let go, trapping him like a spider web.

He can’t even say it was worth it because she loves him and they’re making it work for the sake of Christopher. Because why would that have happened? Instead all he got was a tour in Afghanistan, divorce papers (not that he’s surprised or blames her at all) and coming back to an empty house. Well, not totally empty. He’s got a son he’s still getting to know outside of a screen and shitty internet connection. A son he could have been raising with the love of his life this whole time.

Hope your coat’s warm enough, cowboy he types.

“Daddy!” Chris babbles from the floor, using Eddie’s pant leg to pull himself to standing. His toothy smile is on full display while he looks up at Eddie like he hung the goddamn moon and stars.

“Hey there little man.” Eddie tosses his phone to the side in favor of picking up his son and arranging him on his lap. Chris snatches up the yellow car from the next couch cushion, choosing to run it in a small loop over Eddie’s forearm, shoulder and chest. “Where are you off to today? Big race?”

Chris shakes his head vigorously. “Outer space,” he says as though that should have been obvious.

Eddie chuckles to himself. “Of course. How long until liftoff?”

There’s no answer as plastic wheels continue zooming along until Chris decides he’d rather be on the floor again. Eddie loosely assists as his son climbs back down. Some days are more difficult than others, but he tries to follow the physical therapist’s advice to let Chris do as much as he can by himself. She says it won’t do either of them any good in the long run. Eddie can certainly see the wisdom in that even if he’s constantly itching to roll Chris in layers of bubble wrap.

He blindly grabs for his phone, buzzing from the coffee table. “Hello?”

At first there’s complete silence and he winces thinking it’s yet another telemarketer. Before he can check he hears rustling, like someone’s covering the mouthpiece.

“Hello?” He asks again, more insistent this time.

“Uh, sorry. Didn’t think you’d actually pick up.”

Eddie thinks he might drop the phone. Or throw up. Maybe both? Probably both.

“Evan?”

tagged by the lovely and talented @monsterrae1 @spotsandsocks for Inspiration Saturday (go check their posts, I’m very excited) Instead of working on anything current, I wrote this instead. Not sure I have any actual plans to expand it, I just had to get it out of my system, y’know? So, bon appetit or whatever 💖

no pressure tagging (lmk if you want added or removed) @stereopticons @this-is-bwr @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @wikiangela @tizniz @theotherbuckley @elvensorceress @apothecarose @barbiediaz @buckaroosheart @buddierights @chaosandwolves @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @eowon @fortheloveofbuddie @gayedmundodiaz @giddyupbuck @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @hoodie-buck @indestructibleheart @jesuisici33 @ladydorian05 @lemonzestywrites @loserdiaz @spaceprincessem @statueinthestone @steadfastsaturnsrings @the-likesofus @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @thewolvesof1998 @vanillahigh00 @watchyourbuck @weewootruck @wildlife4life @your-catfish-friend @epicbuddieficrecs

[nabipumpum]

CAN I BE THE FIRST? - 07 ᴹⁱⁿʲⁱ ˣ ᶠ!ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

Y/n always tried to manage on her own, especially with the family she had, but after becoming a trainee she realized that not everyone hated her. After the debut she still tries to deal with her feelings, but everything becomes even more confusing after having to approach NewJeans for better coexistence in the company.

Pairing - Kim Minji X f!Reader

Warning - mention of mom and daddy issues, self-acceptance problems, mention of homophobic parents, Y/n doesn't know how to deal with feelings, a little swearing.

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1 month ago…

Minji smiled when she heard you whisper the same phrase that was said in the cartoon you were watching, it was no secret that you loved children's cartoons and she finds that adorable about you. The girl watched you, looking at every detail on your face, you were focused on the cartoon that you'd certainly watched dozens of times but you seemed to love it anyway, you looked ethereal in her eyes, with your hair falling lightly on your face, eyes shining and a slight space between your lips, probably due to the way you were concentrating. When the episode ended she quickly looked away from your face as soon as she noticed you turning to look at her.

“We should eat something.” You spoke quietly and she looked at you.

“What do you want to eat?”

"French fries." you look at each other for a few seconds, you smile slightly “Please?” She laughs and sits on the bed, you do the same.

“Shouldn’t we order something healthier?”

“I've been eating healthy all week, Unnie…” she felt her heart race as she saw his feline eyes shine at her.

“Okay, you win.” you smiled and took out your phone and opened the app to order the food as quickly as possible.

You smiled as you ate and looked at Minji, only to notice that she was already looking at you, your heart sped up and you felt that feeling again, your body heated up from the look, your ear felt like it was burning and you quickly dodged it, heading back the look at the fries in front of you.

It had been a while since you noticed this different way you felt around Minji, it wasn't the same feeling as being around your members, Yunjin or Danielle, much less being close to Haerin. Minji hit differently, you didn't know why, you obviously thought she was beautiful, all your friends are beautiful and you know that, so why was it different with Minji? You didn't want to admit that you felt something beyond friendship, you couldn't.

Your parents consumed your head, their voice runs through your mind whenever you even think about Minji, you didn't want to be persecuted even more by your family, you were afraid of what your parents might do when they knew you weren't straight and that gave you nightmares for years.

The best option for you is to deny it, deny it until it becomes true, until the moment you find a nice guy and fall in love, this was just a phase for you just like you always saw people in internet videos saying it was just a phase , it would pass and you just had to deal with this strange feeling for a while, until it went away.

“Is everything okay, Y/nnie?” you looked at her as your face heated up and you just nodded “You look sad.”

"Sleep." She agreed and looked back at the screen, which was now showing a Marvel movie, but you weren't paying attention anymore.

You guys finished the movie and cleaned the room before your members arrived, you were so close to Minji that your shoulders were almost touching, you looked at her for a moment, she was texting her members while you two were on the couch, you felt an unexpected urge to get closer. Your eyes locked on the girl, unable to move even when she looked back at you, that same contact that made your heart flutter, her round eyes locked on your entire face, she was admiring you again. Your lips parted slightly as your head unconsciously tilted to the side as your eyes dropped to the older girl's lips. No. You were grateful when her cell phone beeped with a new message.

“It's getting a little late, I should go.” you nodded and stood up, unable to look at her face again, she felt the same way too, you walked her to the door and opened it.

“Good night, Minji-unnie.” she smiled and finally looked at you, but you just looked at the floor.

“Good night, Y/nnie” you smiled at the affectionate way the phrase was said, nothing can explain how Minji felt when she saw your smile.

“I’ll see you in a few days?” You nodded and looked at her, again.

Your eyes locked onto each other, both your hearts racing, she wanted to kiss you, you couldn't kiss her, in fact you can, but your mind doesn't agree with your body. You noticed when Minji looked at your lips you discreetly bit her lower lip, you only noticed because you were already focused on her lips before. You lowered your head, denying yourself that you just wanted to drag the girl inside and stay in her arms until dawn, but you're terrible at this, you can't deceive your heart.

“Thank you, for killing the cockroach…” she smiled and sighed.

“It was nothing, that’s what friends are for.” you agreed, she hated saying that you two were friends “Bye Y/n.”

“Bye Unnie.” she smiled before walking away so you could close the door.

The next day you wake up after dreaming about Minji.

“What the fuck.”

Taglist 🏷️ (open): @gtfoiydlyj @cloudinwjns @yncoreee @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @ourlovesarang @saysirhc @yuyuy90 @he------len

[skullamity]

Need to veeeent.

So we are almost a week without internet. We were with Rogers for TWENTY YEARS, and over those 20 years every interaction we had with Rogers was a huge fucking mess, stemming from the fact that, waaay back when we were in college, if you wanted their normal services AND their cell phone services, it was two separate accounts. Eventually they decided to merge those two accounts and informed us after the fact. Whatever they did to merge them? Completely locked us out of being able to view and pay bills online through Rogers' interface.

Over the years, we would call Rogers for one reason or another (just switching around and then eventually slowly cancelling all services with them except for internet) and every single time they'd be like "so we see you are still receiving paper bills. we are going paperless and phasing this out, so can we get you to pay through the online portal?" and every time we would have to explain that no, we needed paper bills because their broken ass system made even logging into the portal impossible.

Without fail, whatever intrepid techie would say, "don't worry, we will walk you through it, I'll get this fixed!" completely sure that they would be the one to hold our presumably tech illiterate hands though baby's first reset password sequence and then tell us to hit okay and watch the magic happen! Only for us to get the same error message that every other tech over the years got, have us read it out to them, have them be stumped, have them tell me that they have never encountered this before, that their supervisor is also stumped, and how about we just put a pin in that and see if there's a solution in the future! We will keep sending you paper bills for as long as we can (eventually they did stop and we had to have them email our bills to our personal emails directly as a work around solution).

We first encountered this issue when we were 19 years old and living with roomates. We have both recently turned FORTY.

Anyhow, flash to last week. The internet goes out after a day where we had freezing rain, no big deal, it happens. Oddly, I'm not seeing anyone complaining about internet outages in the local Facebook communities, which makes me think, 24 hours later when it still hasn't come on again, that it might just be us. We call Rogers and a nice lady on the phone tries to walk us through cycling the router (a thing we have done in the past 24 hours about 50 times and have been doing for years), and in the process of doing this, we discover that the issue is that our old ass Rogers router has kicked the bucket when she has us unplug it and plug it back in and it just...doesn't turn back on. We tell her the model, she says OH BOY THAT'S ANCIENT, LET ME SEND YOU A NEW ONE! Just let me confirm your address!

And here is where the problems start. You see, a decade ago when we bought this house after living in it and renting it from my inlaws, my inlaws split the property down the middle and sold the other half to someone else. Even though our house shows up on Google maps, even though uber eats and various other delivery services have no problem finding our very real house with our new, updated house number (went from something like 1234 Main St., Unit 2 to 1232 Main St., no unit), Rogers tries to update our address in the system and their system is like...that's not a real house or address. We assure them that it is, and has been, for like a fucking decade. They tell us that they can't send us a new router until they have someone physically come out to our house and confirm that it is 1) real and 2) in their service area.

I need to be so clear that our house is in the exact same place it has been for over a hundred years, and that up until the router broke while tech support was trying to get us to cycle it, we had a 20 year old Rogers account for which we were paying bills! We had internet last week! And they were sitting there telling us that before we can have internet again, they need to send someone physically to our house to be like that's a house all right.

So Shay was like...you know what? Fuck this, please close our account, we are looking into your competitors. The dude on the phone (to be clear was just doing his job, I get that) offered to cut our bill down from $126/month to $50/month if we would reconsider, which only made Shay more pissed, because like...way to tip your fucking hand? Thank you for admitting you overcharge us for a service that you could have offered us better rates on literally any other time over the past 20 years? Fuck you, we aren't doing business with Rogers anymore!

So we close our account and call a competitor who offers us a better plan for $40/month, says they will have a router to us to self set up by today and didn't make us wait on hold for 45 minutes to do any of that.

The router arrives this morning at 9:30am, we set it up, and....no internet. Tech support is like not sure what's happening? So we explain the lot severence again, and they're like...okay so we run off of Rogers system. So we have to call Rogers, and have them send someone out to your house to physically confirm it is a real house, and we have to wait on them to do this because otherwise our system will refuse to believe that your house exists. So now we are waiting on a Rogers tech to be like yeah that's a house!

I just want internet, man. I have work to do, Shay is still trying to apply for jobs. My phone data for the month is almost completely used up and it is only the 6th!

Love that we left this bastard ass company and are STILL haunted by the spectre of their incompetence!

[filthypen]

Of course you might wonder how UwU trend got created and spread~… how such a mysterious pheno- its junko. Of fucking course it’s junko, drugs in Hope’s peak water, altering every screen so it displays a imperceptible brainwashing message to every cell of the brain and body to modify when the person says "UwU" while recorded.

As for the first victim~? Chiaki of course~ from lazy kinda uncaring slob of a gamer gal to the new belle delphine (but way more thicc and still a bit lazy~)

After so many attempts to cause despair, Junko was running out of ideas. Killing games? Nope. Corruption with money? Neither… what could work… then she saw her phone, and realised… the internet! Streamers, Tiktok, memes… all that could cause DESPAIR! But you know… she didn't wanted just some booooooring deadly despair, she wanted a SEXY despair, so after weeks and weeks of putting sleeper agents on the water and subliminal messages on EVERY FUCKING SCREEN IN JAPAN, she was ready to unleash the beast… the UwU~~

Who should be the first target? Well, of course, the geek gamer herself on stream with 50k people, Chiaki~ She was currently playing some visual novels on stream, she was looking messy as always, dull colours, not showing off her fat titrs, no sexy commentaries… booooooooring!! So Junko decided to send a couple hundred bots spamming ''CHIAKI SAY UWU! IS TREND!!11!1''

''Uuuuuh… what are you guys saying… what is this trend you say…?'' She pauses the game and looks at the chat ''I don't know about it, seems dumb and i don't wanna…'' She keeps playing, Junko, seeing that chat spam wont work, started blasting 5 dollar donations saying ''SAY IT!!!1!'' over and over and over…

''Ugh… fine! I don't know why you all are wasting more on me saying this but okey…'' She does a peace sign ''UwUUUUUU…'' She sighs a moment ''Happy now? Aaaah… lets go back to playin-'' Before she could finish the sentence… she felt something weird in her ass… SHE WAS THROWING IT BACK ON CAMERA!~~ ''H-hey w-what is this…?!…'' Still sleepy yet surprised, claps her cheeks in a slow but STRONG way~ She tries to turn off the stream but…

yaaaaaaaaaawn…

''W-well guys… i have decided that i should maybe make streams with camera sub only…~'' She just decided to adjust her camera to focus on her fat NEET cheeks clappin and growing, each clap making the camera shake and the room too~

With that stream alone, she got 100k subs and a million dollars, the following stream? Was just a big camera focusing her twerking cheeks while she sleeps~~

[paragonrobits]

health update!

I spent about a week or so in the hospital and things went okay i think, i forgot to mention on last update that I went to a previous hospital ER room and it was horrible; it took a REALLY long time and my brother had to leave or else his friend that gave him a ride would have been waiting out there for over six hours at that point, and while I did get released that night, I almost had to walk home a really long distance after midnight and had to wait three more hours just for a Lyft from my health insurance actually showed up

the hospital I went to, the one I was in over a week at, was much better and they did a bunch of tests, MRIs, cat scans and a lumbar puncture. They ruled out me having diabetes or the other health issues my family apparently is prone to

they think I have transverse myelitis and something to do with an autoimmune sickness; my white blood cells (confirmed from a lumbar puncture that had a LOT of white blood cells in that part of my body) were attacking my spinal cord, and probably exacerbated by the large amount of antihistamines i used to just make myself drowsy and sleep

thats why things got as bad as they did; my motor control was almost completely gone, I could barely walk or stand up without help (my brother had to help me with it a lot), I was incapable of so much as writing my initials without flinging the pen when my wrists spasmed, i couldn't eat out of bowls or change my cat's water without dropping things or spilling them all over because the motor control was just gone, and I was really scared this was something I couldn't come back from

they put me on IV-delivered steroids and antibiotics and I improved a lot

they gave me a cane to move around with, though i haven't really needed it so far

they want me to follow up with a neurologist and physical therapy people to visit me, but that's getting delayed because we're supposed to move on the 1st of next month

currently i am doing much better but im not QUITE where i used to be; my motor control is much better and i can play games fine, but there's still some numbnes and typing is deeply uncomfortable, like a shock goes into my fingers with each button press and doing it long enough is a sensory nightmare. i keep pressing the wrong buttons and its very frustrating seeing that happen over and over

i can walk fine on my own and i haven't been dropping anything, but i still have some problems with holding heavier things, like it might be too much for me

for friends who had previous stuff with me that had to be put on hold: I still don't know when we can resume those things. typing is uncomfortable for me so any chatting or messages would be very infrequent, and I think that I was honestly getting a lot more stressed out by scheduled stuff putting some pressure on me. I dont think its responsible for my sickness and the biggest culprit is probably stress from me having to go up and talk to my neighbor when they ran their bath and it made our ceiling leak and its going to explode or collapse sooner or later (by then we'll be out of here) and I am so socially avoidant that just THINKING about it severely impacted my health, the point is that eventually we should have a discussion about making the schedule more flexible or see what might work best for us?

sorry but i dont actually know WHEN that might be; typing is still hard and we will be moving really soon, and I dont know if we will have internet or not. I can use my phone as a mobile hotspot or talk through there if need be, but I hate using my phone to type even more than using the keyboard so anything would be fairly brief, but i can at least be aware of things

i am supposed to move into a place next to my aunt who can help us with rides, and its in the same area as the hospital i was at, so that's good though it is much farther from my stepbrother, meaning the denture stuff we've had to delay will probably not be resolved any time soon but i dont mind much