#i need to study buck like a bug

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: Would you tell me what's wrong? You've been mad all day. Buck: You know what you did. Eddie: Come on Buck, just tell me, please. Buck: I had a dream you broke up with me, and you didn't even give me a reason. Just ended our relationship out of nowhere. Eddie, frowning: Buck, we’re not even dating? Buck: Exactly. At least in the dream, you gave me a chance before deciding I wasn’t good enough, apparently. Eddie: Are you saying you wanna date me? Buck: Not if you're gonna break up with me again. Eddie: I won't. Buck: Fine then, we're dating.

[leashybebes]

more of this. it's happening, y'all

On Thursdays, Evan works in a queer friendly bar. That mostly means women who want to drink and dance without being bothered by creeps, sheltered college students testing the waters, and people who wander in and only belatedly clock the rainbow decor. The last couple of weeks there's been a guy in his section he's not sure how to categorize. He's about Evan's height but broader - really buff, and classically handsome in a sharp jaw and killer cheekbones way that Buck's a little envious of, honestly. He could clean up in WeHo, could probably have any woman in the bar come running if he'd look up from his string of nasty craft beers that he occasionally chases with a shot of Jack and actually smile at someone. Evan's willing to bet he has a great smile, but he also has a closed off air like a forcefield around him.

"Hey," Evan says when he collects the empty glass from the guy's latest gross beer. He also hands over a napkin with a phone number courtesy of the cute blonde, or possibly her cute brunette friend at the end of the bar. "Couple ladies over there trying to get your attention."

"Oh." The guy looks at the napkin like it might bite him. "Uh. I'm not - I'm not interested."

Evan shrugs. "Your loss, man."

The guy uses one fingertip to nudge the napkin back towards Evan. Swallows sharply enough that Evan can track the motion of it with his eyes.

"I'm gay."

"Yeah? In that case, the dude three seats down is gonna be delighted."

The guy blinks a couple times, sneaks a glance down the bar like he thinks he's gonna get slapped for it.

"Not tonight," he says.

Evan shrugs. "Get you another gross beer?"

The guy looks at him, and it's not the smile Evan was imagining, but it's at least half a smirk, and it makes a line next to his mouth deepen, almost a dimple. "Should you be calling the drinks you sell gross?"

"Call it as I see it, man. I like Bud Light and cocktails, so."

"Jesus Christ."

"Evan, actually," Evan tells him, with a grin.

"I'm Tommy."

"Hey, Tommy. So. Gross beer or fruity cocktail?"

Tommy looks at him, eyebrows drawing together, shoulders going a little tight. "Is that a dig?"

Evan replays his words. "Oh, shit no! Not at all! Fruity like containing fruit, not fruity like fruity. Who even says that anymore? I wouldn't, I mean - I'm an ally!"

Tommy looks, honestly, a little baffled by Evan's whole existence which is unfortunately not a look he's unfamiliar with.

"I think I'm gonna call it a night," he says, and Evan's heart sinks a little. Tommy looks like a guy who desperately needs to cut loose.

"Nah, c'mon, I just accidentally hate crimed you, let me make you piña colada. On me."

Tommy relaxes a tiny bit. "Okay. Sure. Thanks, Evan."

[chimneyz]

tommy actually looked nervous asking for a second chance. his shoulder's tensed up, his brows furrowed as he asks 'why not?' when buck says that this (their night together) doesn't have to change anything. it looks as if he was holding his breath, waiting for buck to refuse. he wants this second chance, he wants to be with buck but gets so wrapped up in his own doubt and insecurities he thinks there is a chance that buck will refuse the offer. he desperately wants that second chance but is prepared for the worst.

[peggingeddiediaz]

Tommy really smelled the bottom energy from Eddie, like, he invited him to a sold out fight in Vegas and took him there via helicopter, took him to a karaoke bar trivia night in the middle of the week (just the two of them, that could've easily be an outing for more than 2 people) "muay thai sparred" with him at Tommy's garage, showed him how to fix cars and drove him to the basketball game. All of that while having Marisol and Buck watch Christopher. This show is a comedy really.

Tommy was sugar daddying him so hard, and Eddie was loving it. I need all the fics where BuckTommy toss Eddie around like a frisbee.

I sound like a broken record but Eddie was loving getting wooed to hell and back while having Buck be a little jealous.

Now Eddie is topless while Buck and Tommy take turns railing each other.

[isalabells]

[yellenabelova]

#I need to study Buck and his low self-esteem like a bug

[rinniewvrld]

𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗘!𝗔𝗖𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗖 𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗔𝗟 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦 .ᐟ

summary, felix always believed he was destined for greatness. he was smart, rich and "hot" as some might say. but his empire breaks when a new kid break into the scene

featuring, yandere!academic rival x gn!reader

tags, unhealthy power dynamics, clingy and kinda pathetic yandere, delusional and obsessive behavior, implied isolation, abuse of power, he's a bit egoistical

notes, this is a pretty old draft from my wattpad account ermmm this is heavily altered from the one i published at wp

♡ Felix Escoffier is a serious man that follows strict rules and principles. He's the only son of a famous fashion designer who practically owes everyone's parents, so it's natural that they follows his every whims. Even if at times his so-called 'policies' can be overbearing, borderline senseless.

♡ Though his power doesn't only come from his father's connection. He's the student president, as well having the highest honor out of everyone else. He's popular among the school staff and favored by the teachers for his achievements marking a good reputation for the school.

♡ This is his perfect empire where he and only he strictly rules among all the inching worms. The top of the food chain, the king lion. Nobody can stop him from reaching greatness now. Until you did.

♡ After acing his final exams without much of a break, Felix decided to check the ranking board to see where his rank was. Of course, he's confident to see his name at the number one spot, but he needed the boost anyways. However when he arrived at the board, he almost fainted.

♡ He was second to your name. Just who are you? You never appeared in the Top 10 before, so where did you come from? It took every single part of him to not black out right then and there.

♡ Rumors began spreading all the school, the strange new transfer student became the student body's buzzing gossip. Not only did you utterly crushed a man's entire life in a single day, but you were just a commoner. A commoner who managed to get inside such a prestigious school through a scholarship. And not like paying the fee like everyone did! Everyone believed you must've cheated the system.

♡ While the entire school was in shambles, you, on the other hand, couldn't care less. The only reason you managed to topple over the king bee was because your friend had betted that you won't be able to demolish the school ranking in one night. (Guess who had a 100 bucks under their name now?)

♡ Felix couldn't take it. Of course, he was his father's child! The expected successor of his business, the soon-to-be ruler of the fashion emperor! He wouldn't let himself be taken down by anyone, not by the likes of a commoner no less.

♡ So he made the decision to confront during lunchtime, prepared to absolutely obliterate you in front of everyone and ruin any chance of yours to strike back!

♡ But oooh, you so much different from what he heard in the rumors. You weren't disgusting or ugly, and you certainly weren't a cheater when he had tested your knowledge with the hardest question on the exam. Even he got that question wrong multiple times before. And you were so beautiful his jaw dropped at the first sight of your face, he couldn't even utter a single world to stop you from walking away.

♡ When you brushed him off so casually, it hurt his pride a bit. Sure, he had originally planned to ruin your social life, but upon realizing what a valuable asset you could be in his journey of taking over his father's business, but he couldn't let you go now!

♡ He stuck to you like an annoying bug. Always buzzing in your ear and demanding that the two of you must study together despite proudly declaring you as his arch-nemesis in public. Sometimes he gets too close to you, his heartbeat would spike up and his hands get clammy to the point he could barely hold a pencil. Just brushing his arm against yours was enough to make his nose bleed.

♡ Plus, he's always complaining if you don't wear your uniform correctly. But anytime you take your blazer off— or god forbid unbutton the first button if your blouse —the little skin revealed makes him flustered to the point of him running away to deal with himself.

♡ But in the next exam, your ranking immediately dropped to the bottom. It made the student body stir with confusion at this development and prompted a lot of questions from classmates and teachers alike. But Felix was more than just mortified to see the change and nearly fainted when checking the board again.

♡ He had to confront you again, of course, there's so much to discuss! Did you perhaps give up or did he scare you off? No matter, he'll just drag you back so you'll be his rival again! That is until he saw you hanging out with your friends.

♡ Of course, the only explainable reason why your ranking dropped was because of those delinquents! Despite your brilliance, your social awareness must not be as sharp as he thought. These braindead hooligans are influencing you and dragging you into their mess! Don't worry, he'll guide you back on the right path.

♡ So he made the proper arrangements. He used his power to forcibly change your schedule to match his, so he can always watch over you even during classtime. The teachers are now much harder on you, so you can focus on your studies more instead of goofing off with your so-called 'friends' (devils, he calls them), and everyone begins moving you out of fear of facing his wrath.

♡ It won't be too long until he's all that you have left. You're completely isolated from everyone at school, and your mountain of schoolwork isn't helping with your ruined reputation.

♡ However, fear not. Just let him help you with you and just depend on him. He'll mold you into the perfect rival, just for him.

[iphyslitterator]

I'm in a 911 group chat that includes a Buddie fan, and she was passionately defending Tommy's right to bring up his anxieties over Eddie in 8x11 (yay), and then she asked me to elaborate when I commented, "If we're not Buddie-shipping + *don't* think this was a central insecurity, Tommy is actually way more in the wrong/dumber/more excruciatingly self-sabotaging." Two weeks later, I have typed up my working theory for her and am cross-posting it here for posterity:

Let's start from the premise that "I think Evan's in love with Eddie" was not a central reason behind the breakup, which is defensible because a) the text gave no indication of it previously, at least not one that would be legible to the general audience, and b) the only piece of "evidence" Tommy offers is that Buck is living in Eddie's house.

(I'm sure the thought had crossed Tommy's mind: they're close, Eddie's hot, he went to Buck's apartment in the first place on the assumption that Buck was jealous over Eddie. I actually used to headcanon that they'd talked about it casually, but I was overestimating their communication skills 🙄)

Here are some things we learn or can plausibly infer from the 8x11 bar scene (I can elaborate upon request): he misses Buck and wants to get back together with him (urge to call him; driving by his place); he's lonely; the 118 stopped speaking to him; he has no reason to believe Buck missed him too (Buck didn't tell him! he doesn't know about the baking!).

And he has all this time to think in the morning, while he's buying champagne and cooking half a paycheck's worth of eggs, about how wow, it's weird being in Eddie's house. Like, this was a pretty intense and devoted thing for Evan to do. But, well, Evan's pretty intensely devoted to his family, and vice versa. It's a great family. He's kind of jealous. And, okay, he didn't reach out to them after the breakup either, but he'd maybe hoped.... Anyway, whatever, it's clearly not happening. They don't miss him, they do miss Eddie. Evan misses Eddie, Evan probably just missed sex with Tommy. Still, though, maybe Tommy can ask Evan to take him back. Maybe they can still try again.

(Throw in the headcanon that it was unhinged of Buck to ask Tommy to move out of a house into an apartment with no doors (we know Tommy has a car lift and a Muay Thai setup), and you also get "Evan wouldn't move out for me, but he did for Eddie.")

So my primary contention about "now that the competition's out of the way" is that Tommy feels acutely that the competition is NOT out of the way.

Part of that is an abrupt rise in paranoia that Evan is pining for Eddie -- he's living in the guy's house! And then Buck doesn't technically deny it, he just says Eddie's straight, which, come on, Tommy knows all about crushes on straight guys.

But it's not just about that. It's about Tommy once again being on the outside of the firefam's close bond. It's not just Eddie haunting the narrative. Tommy has expressed his longing to be part of that family onscreen three times: 7x04 ("I was super jealous....I wanted to be a part of that"), 7x10 ("a little jealous" of Buck's bond with Bobby), 8x05 ("It's a wonderful thing, having a crew like that behind you, even when things go wrong"). The competition's not even close (he thinks); Tommy was never Evan's priority, he won't be if they get back together right now, and maybe he never will be.

But this all comes out as "I think you have feelings for your best friend." Which, in this scenario where that's (mostly) not true or important, is uncool for at least three reasons:

a) IT'S SO DUMB, baby, shut uppppp, why are you so committed to expressing your anxieties in a way that is totally incomprehensible to your beloved and indeed to most people who aren't studying you like a bug on tumblr dot com 💀

b) He is once again hinting at his desire for a family without articulating it, and he NEEDS to stop that.

c) As in the breakup, he's constructing a narrative about Buck's feelings, without Buck's input, that fits his own pessimistic worldview. In neither case does it go quite as far as Buck denying + Tommy disbelieving, but it's trending that direction, and it's patronizing (and arguably biphobic). If Buck needs to understand Tommy more, i.e. look past the cool exterior, Tommy needs to "understand" Buck less, i.e. let go of his preconceived notions and let Evan be the authority on his own feelings.

So my thesis as a Bucktommy fan and writer is that it's part of Tommy's consistent I-want-a-family theme (and secondarily, I think the non-Buddie GA's takeaway was essentially supposed be Ryan Guzman's "lol Tommy's insecure"). Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[spacecadet-ticklesinspace]

Bugging Bathena

Summary: When Buck's in a mood, he bugs Bathena ❤️ :)

(Okay, @mysunshinebuck and I were talking about this and wanted to share it with you guys ❤️ :) Hope you enjoy! ❤️😁)

"Buck."

"What? I'm not doing anything."

Athena set down the dish she was drying and crossed her arms. "You've been bugging me for 20 minutes."

"I haven't been bugging you," Buck defended.

"You've been talking non-stop the entire time."

"Oh, so I can't even talk now?"

"Watch your tone."

"Hard to watch something I can't see."

Athena arched one eyebrow up.

Buck held up his hands. "You said it."

Athena started moving around the counter.

The younger didn't say anything. He just watched her as she got closer to him.

Meanwhile, Athena studied his face. She must have seen something because she softened.

A moment later, the police sergeant wrapped Buck in a hug that the taller firefighter immediately returned.

"You okay?" Athena asked.

"I'm fine," Buck admitted while resting his chin on the top of her head.

A small smile tugged up the police sergeant's mouth. "Having a rough day?"

Buck shook his head before burying his face into her hair.

"You want to talk about it?"

"No."

Athena deadpanned. Buck wanted the attention, but wouldn't tell her why he wanted the attention.

"You know I'm hear if you want to talk," the police sergeant reminded him.

"Mh-hm."

Athena pulled her head back so she could look up at him. "Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Buckley."

"Thena."

"Buckaroo."

"Ma'am?"

Athena glared at him.

Buck gave her a little smirk. "Just being respectful."

With a sigh, Athena grabbed Buck's wrist and tugged the younger firefighter to the living room. "Bobby."

The mentioned fire captain looked up from where he was working on his computer. He lowered his chin so he could see her over his glasses.

With a gentle shove, Athena pushed Buck toward the couch. "Your son needs attention."

"Oh?" Bobby plucked off his glasses and plopped them on the coffee table. "So he's my son when he wants attention."

"I'm standing right here," Buck reminded.

Athena pushed him down on the couch by his shoulder. "Go see Bobby."

Buck pushed himself up into a sitting position, giving the police sergeant a glare as she started to head back into the kitchen.

"Aw." Bobby played along by scooting closer and wrapping Buck in a bear hug. "C'mere kid."

"Bobby," Buck whined. "I'm not a child."

"Oh?" Two hands came to rest on the blonde's sides. "Then when do you laugh like one?"

Immediately, Buck's eyes went wide. He knew that tone.

Then Bobby's hands started squeezing.

Buck jumped back into the older man''s chest. "Noho! Bobbyhy!"

"What Buck?"

Lehet mehe goho!"

Bobby pinched at Buck's hip. "Why?"

The blonde firefighter squeaked, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Nohot thihis gahame agahain!"

Bobby went for the other hip. "What game?"

"AH!" Buck turned and buried his face into the top of the couch.

In response, the older man tugged him out of hiding. "Get back out here."

The blonde firefighter jumped again when one of Bobby's hands jumped up to his ribs.

This time, his elbow hit Bobby's stomach.

The older man paused his attack with a grunt. He went back to just hugging the younger while he caught his breath.

Meanwhile, Buck descended into light giggles.

Finally, Bobby lifted his head. "Watch where you swing those things."

"Thahat's yohour fauhault."

"How is it my fault?"

"You wehere tickling mehe!"

Bobby immediately dug a hand into Buck's stomach. "Were?"

Buck cackled and squirmed forward to escape the hold, but Bobby kept him pinned.

"Bobbyhy!" Buck whined through his laughter.

"What Buck?"

The younger squirmed himself backwards again. "Lehet mehe goho!"

Bobby attacked Buck's lower stomach. "Why?"

Buck kicked and squirmed into the back of the couch again. "NOHO!"

Bobby went up to his ribs again. "No what Buck?"

A squeal erupted from the younger and he squirmed into a ball before going still, his face burying into the top of the couch again.

Finally, Athena came back out of the kitchen. "Finished the dishes."

"Almost finished with this one," Bobby replied while pulling his hand away from Buck's ribs.

The younger stayed hidden in the couch, giggles still filling the room.

"Buck," Athena called.

"Whahat?" Came the muffled whine in response.

The police sergeant moved closer to the couch back. "Watch your tone."

Buck lifted his head enough to address her. "Again, can't watch something I can't seEE!"

Bobby's attack on his sides had him hiding again.

"Are you done now?" Athena asked him as she leaned against the back of the couch.

A slight shift had Bobby's hand back at his ribs.

Buck immediately jumped out of hiding. "YES! Yehes Ihi'm dohone!"

"Done with what?" Bobby asked, hand poised over the sensitive spot.

Buck tried to shift away, but not going anywhere because of the couch back. "Wihith my attihituhude!"

The older man finally pulled his hand away. "Better be."

The younger immediately sagged into the couch.

In response, Bobby ruffled his curls and pushed him up. "Go finish your chores and leave Athena alone."

Instead of getting up, Buck turned to glare at Bobby.

Immediately, Bobby started to move forward, hand aiming for Buck's ribs again.

The younger bolted. "Alright, ahalrihight! Ihi'm going!"

"Always here to talk if you change your mind," Athena reminded as Buck headed to the stairs.

"I know," Buck replied while snatching up an empty laundry basket sitting at the foot of the stairs.

After the younger disappeared up out of sight, Athena turned back to Bobby.

Bobby pointed at the now empty stairs. "That is your son."

"Yes, because my son does his chores," his wife shot back.

Immediately, Bobby's face dropped into a deadpan.

Athena pushed away from the back of the couch. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take care of a few more things in the kitchen."

As she stepped away, Bobby snatched up his glasses from the coffee table and turned back to his laptop to finish his work.

[spotsandsocks]

Trick or treat! 🎃 Word: spider

The last one… yay me and yay you my friend for sending me a trick or treat word and getting me to 15 mini fics.

Coming in at just over 500 words we have a ficlet based on 🕷️ so if you don’t like the 8 legged little bugs stay away😉🎃

The gasp is only quiet, almost no noise at all but it’s stifled and that’s suspicious.

The sudden twitch in the thick thigh muscles under his feet is also suspicious.

Together it’s enough to make Eddie lift his eyes from his book and stare at the man on the other end of the couch and ask a question.

“What?”

Buck’s response is also suspicious.

“Nothing.”

Now Eddie knows Buck’s various tones and that one requires an immediate response. Lifting his feet off Buck’s lap he leans forward.

“That not your nothing nothing that’s your something nothing. What gives?”

Buck won’t look at him his eyes are focused on where he’d dropped his hoodie on the chair. It’s slipped down onto the floor, an untidy pile of rumpled fabric. He studies it but sees nothing alarming. What’s alarming is the hint of tension in Buck.

“Nothing.”

It’s still a lie the second time round and Eddie looks again at the discarded hoodie. Buck’s body shifts, disrupting their comfort further. He obviously intends to get up.

“I’m just gonna go get something.” Then he stands, with a quick glance downwards, and Eddie knows.

“Where is it? His feet are already drawn up under him.

“It’s fine. I’ve got it.”

Buck’s voice is already too distant. What if it jumps him while his protector is off in the kitchen.

Eddie scours the floor for the invader. The disruptor of his peace. He can’t see it, but it’s there.

The spider.

“Jesus!”

The exclamation is caused by the sight of the biggest mug they own in Buck’s hand.

“Fuck! How big is it?” His muscles are starting to ache from the way he’s drawn himself into an even tighter ball now.

The noise Buck makes is probably meant to be reassuring but it isn’t.

“Buck?”

“It’s not, not small but it’s not, not big.”

That’s too confusing for the level of anxiety Eddie’s experiencing right now.

“Whatever! It just needs to be not here! Get rid of it. Please!”

“Ok, ok, calm down. It’s fine… I’m just gonna…. “

The last thing he sees before he closes his eyes is not particularly reassuring; Buck cautiously edging towards his hoodie, arm and mug extended. He doesn’t look particularly happy, a grimace on his face as he crouches lower and Eddie decides he doesn’t want to know how big the spider is after all.

There is no spider. No spider. Nope nope nope.

He startles slightly when Buck sits back down.

“Gone?”

“Gone.” Buck pulls him into a hug. “All gone. Promise.”

That’s enough, he doesn’t need details. Gone is good enough.

The kiss on his head helps him feel better. He always feels a little silly after a spider incident but they’re nasty little things. All those legs. Beady eyes… hairy legs too. Far too many of them, moving around all quiet and sneaky and …

“Stop thinking about it.” Buck’s voice is kind but there’s a ripple of amusement running through it. “Do you need me to distract you?, take your mind off the big bad….”

“Don’t…. And I saw your face, it was a big one, don’t tell me it wasn’t.”

“No idea what you mean…” Buck twists so he can kiss him which is a little bit distracting so he lets him keep doing it until it becomes very distracting and Eddie has nothing else on his mind but Buck.

Let’s add a few tags @daffi-990 @hippolotamus @thelikesofus @thekristen999 @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @hermscat @inell @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie @eddiebabygirldiaz @tizniz @lonelychicago @monsterrae1

[roll-for-gaslight]

for whosoever believeth in him (shall not perish but have everlasting life)

An exploration of the older Applebees siblings' relationships with religion tw // religious trauma, child abuse, let me know if I need to add anything else

AO3 Version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55677883/chapters/141332254

Part One: The Prophet

Part Two: The Proselyte

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Bucky has a lot of memories throughout his childhood of hearing Kristen repeat that verse, so quiet he’s not sure whether or not he was meant to hear. He wasn’t Chosen by Helio the way she was, but that only served to make him more devoted; he had to make her proud and do his best to not embarrass their family. Kristen never did anything wrong, not like he did. Since it was her favorite verse, it was his as well. 

"I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."

-Philippians 4:13

It’s nice when your sister is Chosen. It means she gets magic before anyone else her age, and she always does the coolest tricks when you ask. It also means you rarely have to feel sick or hurt for more than a few moments before it’s fixed. Bucky appreciates that last part probably more than anything. Bricker and Cork are the two who get themselves hurt a lot, especially as they all get older and Bucky grows out of some of his clumsiness, but ever since Kristen got her spells he can remember the nice, warm feeling that accompanies each one. 

Riding a bike is hard. Kristen never fully got a handle on it, too unsteady and incapable of keeping her sandals firmly planted on the pedals. On the other hand, Bricker is already speeding down the street and asking if he can ride his bike to school instead of riding with everyone or taking the bus. Bucky’s fine at it, but he’s learning a lot slower, and Bricker is currently literally riding circles around him in an attempt to get him to hurry up since they’re not allowed to go off alone. Kristen is out in the front yard to keep an eye on them, laying on her stomach taking notes and highlighting verses for her next bible study group. She glances up at them occasionally as they go up and down the street shouting at each other, but doesn’t get involved. 

“Come on, Buck! I’m tired of waiting for you!” Bricker says on his right, preparing to take another lap around him. Bucky can see the top of the hill at the end of their street coming up, and prepares himself to rocket down it once they turn around so Bricker will stop complaining. 

“Just chill! I’m going as fast as I can!” He insists, turning with Bricker still by his side. He kicks off hard as Bricker groans in annoyance. He cuts in front of Bucky the same as he has been, but Bucky’s going much faster than he was on the way up the hill and suddenly they collide, tumbling one over another with bikes left sliding on gravel behind them. There’s an unbearable pain shooting up Bucky’s leg, starting at his ankle. He’s screaming loudly, unable to keep it in as he cries for help. Bricker stands up, seemingly scraped up but otherwise fine, and his eyes go wide when he looks at Bucky’s foot twisted the wrong way. 

The sound of Kristen’t bare feet hitting the pavement comes first, then her shouts of concern as she gets a little closer. Bucky isn’t fully aware of any of it until she’s kneeling down right in front of him. 

“Easy, Bug. You’re going to be okay, I promise.” she says softly, a small smile on her face. She takes some slow, deep breaths and Bucky mimics her. She pulls him close, running her hands through his hair until he’s calmer. He remembers, distantly, a time when it was just the two of them who were around, a version of Kristen who called him Bug because she couldn’t quite say his name. That version of her couldn’t heal him, but she held him like this when he fell down anyway. The pain is still there, but the panic isn’t by the time she pulls away. “Okay! I’m going to set it, then heal it. It’ll only hurt for a second, then you’ll be better so fast you won’t even remember what you were crying about.”

Bucky nods, and Kristen readjusts to do as she said she would. She lifts his leg to put his foot in her lap first, then quickly sets it into the correct place before Bucky feels it. There’s a slow-spreading warmth, different from the swelling that had already started, and it eventually flows through his whole body. He smells the familiar scent of popcorn and every part of him relaxes. He didn’t notice when he closed his eyes, but when he opens them he sees Kristen, smiling at him. 

“All better, Bug?” she asks, and he nods again. 

“All better. Thanks, Kristy.”

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is Sol’s will for you in Lord Helio.”

-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

It’s his first Harvest Festival. Not necessarily the first one he’s ever been to, but the first one that counts: it’s the first time he’s joining in on the big kids' continuous prayer. Last year, he had to stay with the little kids like Bricker and Cork. This year it’s just him and Kristen! He knows that last year she stayed out longer than anyone, he helped her by bringing her water and stuff, but he hopes he can stay out as long as her this year. Maybe if he’s here beside her, if they’re doing it together, it’ll be easier. 

Kristy is standing to his left, and he has to admit, just privately, that he’s not focusing so much on his prayers anymore. By the time they’re a day in, his eyes keep wandering just slightly to check on her, and he can’t quite keep his legs underneath him the way he needs to. He’s focusing more on the need to keep himself upright than the words he knows he’s still saying. There’s a river of sweat pouring down his back, and in his peripheral vision he can see his own hands a burnt, lobster red. 

All at once, it becomes too much. He feels his ankle roll and both knees buckle, sharp pain hitting him right before he falls. He hits the ground hard, all strength gone from his body. He knows if he stays like this, he’ll be kicked out, but right as he thinks someone’s going to come get him he feels a rush of strength and the air takes on a buttery popcorn scent. He looks up at Kristen, but her face is turned up towards the sun. He mimics her pose from his place on the ground and it doesn’t take long for her to fall to her knees beside him. He watches the crowd around them ripple outward, others taking her cue. The Book of Helio says to hold no idols above him, but Kristen is about the closest any of them will get to feeling his light until they cross those golden gates. Many of the people at these festivals treat her like she speaks only with Helio’s tongue. Maybe she does. 

The break comes, but Kristen doesn’t move. She passes him her water bottle, and he knows her request before she has a chance to vocalize it. 

“Can you fill this for me, Bug? I’m going to pray through the break. As much ice as you can crush in there, please.” she asks. 

He nods in response. “Yeah, Kristy, I can do that. I’ll let mom and dad know,” he says, offering her a smile he knows she can’t really see before he hurries off. Mom and Dad question him about Kristen’s absence only once before turning their attention to why he did decide to come back. Was he quitting? If Kristen was staying out there, so should he. 

He drinks a lot of water and refills both of their bottles before he heads back. There’s no chance that he’ll make it through another day, and he dreads their disappointment then. 

He’s the first to return to the field, to Kristen, and as he approaches, others follow. It feels, inexplicably, like there's something pulling them all closer the same way gravity pulls them to the earth. The moment everyone starts to get within earshot of Kristen’s prayers, louder now in the empty space, they begin to crowd in a little circle around her. Bucky feels her familiar magical warmth and recognizes what’s happening a moment before she begins to glow. Within moments, her feet are off the ground and the holy light surrounding her almost hurts to look at. She doesn’t seem phased by the magic, instead she’s placed back on her feet with the grace of an angel. It makes her seem strange and otherworldly, nothing like the clumsy Kristen who trips over nothing and stubs her toes on every table leg. 

The glow fades but the feeling remains, and it takes him several minutes to work up the nerve to approach her again. Everyone else takes turns paying their respect to her, so he lets them finish before he takes his place beside her. He wants, desperately, to reconcile his sister with this impossibly perfect version of her beside him now. He reaches out to grab her hand and give it a squeeze and make her feel real again, but her skin is too hot to the touch and he has to yank his own away before he’s burned. He kneels down, placing their water bottles down between them, and he doesn’t stand up again.

He makes it through who knows how many more hours on muscle memory alone, but the darkness is too much. His eyes keep falling closed, his limbs shaking, and then there comes a point where he just can’t keep up with it anymore. All at once, he can’t help but collapse in on himself as the world goes black. 

He wakes only when he has to for the next few days. He wakes when Kristen does, lets her know he’s okay, and she hugs him tightly. She’s back to her normal self, her comforting warmth a far cry from the searing heat she had been radiating during prayer. He falls asleep leaning on his hand a few minutes later, and he feels her gently help him lay his head down properly so he’s not at such an awkward angle. He wakes up when they pack up their things into the camper and when they arrive home, then sleeps again until it’s time for day camp on Monday.

 “A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will not go free.”

-Proverbs 19:5

Kristen hasn’t been home for a few days. He doesn’t know much about what’s going on with her, just that she had a really hard first day of school, but something seems off about her. It’s Friday, and she hasn’t been home since Wednesday. He wonders briefly if she’s going to be back in time for Church on Sunday, but he dismisses the thought because he can’t imagine her missing it. 

It hasn’t been that long, but he really misses having her around the house. Without her, it falls to him to mediate between Bricker and Cork each time they argue, and to cook dinner when their parents work their nightshift. He feels lonely, like there’s too much empty space in every room. He didn’t realize how much they had all relied on her before, but it only took a few days for him to notice the difference. For every minor issue, his instinct is to call out for his sister’s help. He barely stops himself each time. 

Kristen misses Church and for the first time ever, Bucky wonders why they worship Helio. He asks his mom, and she puts it in no uncertain terms: because it’s either worship Helio or go to hell forever. It’s their job to try and help as many people as possible find the light, but only those who have the potential for holiness, like other humans. He remembers Kristen, earlier in the week, talking about how her adventuring party has two elves and a half-orc and a goblin and even a tiefling. He can’t help but feel worried about her. Selfishly, he thinks that if three days without her have sucked this bad an eternity would be torture. 

She doesn’t come home for more than a night at a time for weeks after that. 

She said she’d always be there for him. 

How could she lie like that?

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

-Psalm 34:18

Church camp is fun, for the most part. It’s not like the Harvest Festival, where everything is extreme to prove true devotion. It’s more fun, teaching them about Helio without having to hang out with their parents and getting to swim and play games to do it. He enjoys the nightly campfires and the songs they sing, though he wishes that Kristen could be with him. He brings some of the gold she left for him for the vending machines, and he makes friends in his cabin.

They make Sol’s Eyes crafts and friendship bracelets, do a daily prayer circle, and spend a decent amount of their time in the lake. They rose early every morning for Dawn Sermon and stayed in the sun almost all day, staying up late each night after their nightly sermons talking to each other and growing close. On the last night of the week, they’re brought out for a campfire after dinner and told that things were going to run a little differently that night. The sermon was going to last longer than usual, and they were encouraged to add their own testimonies as well in order to give themselves over to Helio completely. 

It starts out fairly normal, even a little slow as most people are hesitant to share. Bucky doesn’t even think he has anything to share, anything he’s overcome that’d be worth talking about. It doesn’t take long for things to pick up, several people crying as they deliver testimonials about struggles within the faith and temptations away from the holy light. He thinks of Kristen, about how she was supposed to be Chosen and how she was supposed to be there for him. He hasn’t seen her in almost a year. He stands up next time they ask for volunteers, and he can already feel his eyes prickling with tears as all attention turns to him. 

“My big sister, Kristen, was Chosen by Helio the second she was born. I grew up really looking up to her and depending on her. She said she’d always be there for me and that she would never do anything to hurt me. She could do amazing things with her magic, like heal people, so she went to be an adventurer. On her first day of school, she got detention and started an adventuring party with the people in there with her. They started to lead her away from the light.” he says. Tears start rolling steadily down his face. It feels like he can’t catch his breath, the words falling out of his mouth faster and faster the longer he goes on. 

“She left the faith, and left our house. There’s a part of me that misses her, but I’ve been working on accepting that she’s a sinner now. She’s even telling people she’s gay and she moved in with a werewolf. I’m really scared for her and I want her to find her way back. I can’t help but think that maybe there’s something more I could have done to stop her from leaving in the first place.”

By the time he’s done telling his story, he’s overcome by the sobs that shake his whole body. He can’t stop himself from crying, and several people he had become familiar with over the course of the last week all surged forward at once to comfort him. It felt good to finally put a voice to his deepest anxiety, the idea that he had somehow pushed her away and that he would never see her again. He felt hands on his back and someone running a hand through his hair to comfort him, like Kristen used to do, and suddenly it’s all too much, he can’t breathe as a deep sadness swallows him. He would trade each and every person here to have Kristen be the person comforting him right now, but that’s impossible. She’s gone from his life in a way he can’t fix. 

It’s a strange feeling to grieve someone who’s still alive. 

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

-Proverbs 22:6

Being the oldest kid in the house sucks. Bucky has never felt so much pressure, not just to take care of his brothers, but to be perfect in every way. Kristen abandoning them means that he’s supposed to help represent their family. His parents decide that he’s going to be a paladin, like them, and he ignores the ache in his chest. He thought he’d learn to be a cleric like Kristen, but being a paladin is good enough. He can still heal people, even if his light is nothing like hers. 

He spends a lot of days sparring with the practice dummies in their basement, their dad’s old sword strapped to his side. It’s too big for him right now, but his parents say he’ll grow into it. They push him to be better, so he pushes himself harder than he ever has before. 

When they’re at home, his brothers turn to him to resolve every little disagreement. At Church on Sunday, it’s his job to keep them quiet. He trains every night in the basement. He’s in the top of his class in every subject. (If this is what it was like for her, he almost understands why she would want to leave. Almost. That doesn’t mean he’ll actually do it.)

Maybe, if he’s good enough, his parents will stop wishing he were Kristen. 

Maybe he will too. 

Maybe, if he’s good enough, Kristen will just come home. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to Sol. And the peace of Sol, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Lord Helio.”

-Philippians 4:6-7

Bucky’s first day of high school is the best day he’s had in a while. He was hoping, in the smallest, quietest part of his heart, to see Kristen again. He didn’t say anything to his parents about it because he could hear their disappointed voices in his head: Kristen is a sinner, you need to stay away from her. Don’t let her influence you. 

He sees her the second he makes it on campus, surrounded by her friends for a brief moment before most of them head off to class. Beside her are the goblin and the tiefling, who he knows is Fig Faeth from her band, but he ignores them. 

She talks to their parents.

It doesn’t go well. He’s not sure he’ll ever understand her again.

He doesn’t really see her again until Spring. 

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

-Romans 8:31

His adventuring party doesn’t seem to like him very much. His dad says it’s because they’re sinners, too deep in their own self-centered desires to see the goodness of Helio’s light. He wants, more than anything, to be friends with them. He sees Kristen and her other “Bad Kids” around school, and they always seem to be having fun together. He cuts back, as much as he can morally justify, on telling them about Helio’s word. It doesn’t have to be the only thing he talks about, especially if it’s making them uncomfortable.

Two months in, they brush off his proselytizing with nothing but an eyeroll and the occasional polite smile. 

Three months in, he mentions the Harvest Festival and his friends look at him with wide, horrified eyes. The wizard in his party, named Cordelia who everyone calls just Del, pulls him aside. 

“Bucky, are things okay at home?” she asks gently. For someone who spends so much time with her head in a book, she’s surprisingly perceptive of the feelings of those around her. He’s surprised by her question, so she rephrases. “I’m only asking because the Harvestmen have kind of a really bad reputation, and I want to make sure you’re safe.”

Bucky nods in response. “Of course I’m safe!” he says, but there’s something hollow in his chest that makes it feel like a lie. He hesitates for a few moments before he speaks again. “What kind of a bad reputation?”

Del frowns slightly, though it doesn’t seem judgemental. She takes his hand and starts to lead him farther away from the rest of the party, off towards the library. She takes him straight towards the religion section, which he’s familiar with from class, but she moves past the books on Helio and onto the secular section. She pulls out a book titled On the Subject of World Religions and hands it to him. 

“Here,” she says, a kind smile on her face. “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with your faith, I just think there’s a chance you weren’t told the whole story about everything Helioic people have done. This might help you get a little more perspective.” 

He opens it that night and sees Kristen’s name in the log of people who have previously checked it out, several times in a row covering the last few years with the most recent check-in only a week or so ago. It must be her favorite book now. 

He’s never read a book so fast. 

“I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.”

-Ezekiel 11:19

Kristen’s new god is dead and made of crystals that have a gravity of their own. She’s all about doubt and mystery and, according to his parents, all of the scary things Helio’s light is supposed to protect them from. They have a meal together, the first one in almost two years, and she says she wants to go to church with them.

A little part of his heart breaks, when she says that, for the goddess relying on her. Kristen sure does make a habit of abandoning people.   

He dedicates a prayer her way next time he’s alone, and he likes the cool, quiet breeze that follows. 

“In the same way that your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares.”

He starts praying to Cassandra whenever he thinks of her because he doesn’t want her to feel alone. Then he starts praying to Cassandra whenever he has something on his mind. He starts replacing his morning prayers to Helio with prayers to Cassandra, Her silvery star light replacing the sun’s heat that usually sits behind his spells. He does his best to hide it, but his parents are bound to notice eventually. 

There’s a part of him that feels guilty. There’s a much bigger part of him that feels free for the first time in his life. 

Everything comes to a tipping point when Mac sees the book that Bucky (foolishly, stupidly, how could he ever think he’d get away with this) left on his bedside table. 

“How dare you bring that filth into our house? Do you not remember Kristen, how books like that led her away from the faith? Do you want to burn in Hell along with her?” his father is shouting at him before school. 

Bucky feels a familiar panic grip his chest, but not the same way it used to. It doesn’t hold the same weight as the first time he heard it. He thinks briefly of Cassandra, of her comforting darkness and the forest he’s seen flashes of as he prays. It couldn’t be further from the hell he’s been told about. He shoves the book into his bag, keeping his head down so the frown on his face can’t be seen. 

“I’m not like Kristen, and I’m not betraying Helio. I’m just doing some reading for class,” he lies, and he feels something pull away from him. A wave of regret hits him immediately, and a new fear takes hold. He doesn’t want Cassandra to be upset with him. 

Mac is still shouting, but Bucky isn’t listening anymore. He knows his dad will have to stop soon for work anyway, so his eyes slip shut. He sends out a silent prayer to Cassandra, expecting to feel the wrath of a goddess in return. He’s met instead with that same cool breeze as before, wrapping around him to soothe his fear. 

When he eventually makes it to school that day, he picks up a copy of the deity change paperwork in the office. 

“Bad things happen to good people because things happen all the time, and it is up to people to determine whether they are bad or good.”

Of course Mac and Donna find out. It’s a late-Spring evening, right at the start of dusk when the sky turns to vivid shades of pink and purple. All three boys are in the backyard doing their own individual things. Bricker, because of course it’s Bricker’s fault, gets himself hurt trying to ride his bike off the roof and into their cheap above-ground pool. He saw some viral video of Aguefort’s beginning of the year party that Bucky hadn’t attended and decided he wanted to do a “shrimp jump” of his own. 

He misses the pool. He screams, and Bucky is the first one out by his side. 

“Hey! It’s okay, just try and calm down, I’m going to heal you, okay? I’m just going to heal you and you’re going to be okay.” he says urgently.

 He carefully ghosts his hands over each injury, each one fixing itself as he does so. His magic glows faintly purple and his eyes flash with silver, a familiar cool breeze whipping up around them for a few moments. Before he knows it, Bricker is staring up at him with wide, terrified eyes. Bucky backs away, but when he turns to go back inside his parents are watching him from the doorway. 

Donna’s voice breaks the silence after a few long moments. “We need to speak to Pastor Amelia.” she says, and Bucky feels the fear like a spike of ice in his chest. He knows, with certainty, that if he lets them bring him to Church he’ll lose Cassandra. He’s not sure what to do, how to escape, and he screws his eyes tightly shut for a moment as he tries to think it through.

When he opens them again, he sees a twilight path on the ground ahead of him, trailing out the back gate and away to somewhere he can’t see. He knows, instinctively, that this is Her guidance. He glances over at Bricker, still staring up at him with that same expression, and his parents, who look more angry than anything. 

Then he runs. 

He follows Cassandra’s light not just away but past the hospital, past the school, and past the Far Haven woods until he reaches a place he’s only heard about in passing: Mordred Manor. 

He stops short at the front door, taking a moment to work up the nerve before he knocks. When Jawbone, the school’s guidance counselor, opens the door he pushes down his immediate impulse to step back. 

“Hey there, Kiddo, is there anything I can do for you?” he asks in a kind voice, a soft smile on his face. Bucky takes a deep breath. 

“I need to talk to my sister.”

"Then if people want to believe in the nighttime and that you can stand in the woods alone in the dark and not have to be afraid because you're united there with everything else that's in the night there with you, and that the world is a mystery, and that's beautiful, I would be happy to do that.”

Kristen isn’t home, so he waits in the living room for her. He talks to Jawbone for a little while, and is finally starting to relax when several people come tumbling through the front door. The Bad Kids are as they usually are every time he sees them, completely caught up in each other. The Goblin, who by now Bucky knows as Riz, is perched on the shoulder of Fabian as the two talk over each other. Their wizard Adaine is chattering excitedly with their barbarian about something vaguely arcanotech-y. Bucky’s attention zeroes in, all at once, at Fig and Kristen in the front of the group, shouting louder and louder as they get excited about the presidential campaign. He sees the moment Kristen notices him in the way she stops dead, her voice cutting out mid-sentence. Fig follows her eyeline and grins when she sees them, and at the sudden quiet all other eyes turn towards him as well. 

“Hey, Adaine, do you want a snack? Yeah, you do, we should all go to the kitchen right now except for Kristen!” Fig announces, and then they’re gone. Kristen recovers quickly, her eyebrows scrunching together like they do when she’s worried. She approaches and sits down beside him on the couch, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder as she looks him up and down in search of anything wrong. 

“Are you okay?” she asks, offering him a small smile. “I’m glad you’re here, of course, but it didn’t seem like you were very interested in ever being here considering what our parents have to say about it. Did something happen? Do you need help?” she asks. 

Bucky pulls her into a tight hug. “I’m okay. I’m better than okay, I think. Can I stay here for a while?” he asks, and she nods immediately. 

“We have plenty of rooms. We’ll get it all figured out,” she assures him. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

He hesitates for a few moments, then resolves that he’ll have to say it out loud eventually.

“I’ve been praying to Cassandra,” he admits softly. Immediately, Kristen’s eyes well up with tears. “Is that okay? I think I maybe like Her a lot more than Helio. I think she’s who I’ve been getting my magic from for a while.”

Kristen pulls him into a tight hug. She’s murmuring something reminiscent of prayer as she holds him there for a few long moments, and he feels her magic wash over him, so similar to his own now. She pulls away after a few long moments. 

“Of course that’s okay, Bug. That’s more than okay. I’m so glad you’re out of there, I’m so sorry I left without being able to explain anything to you but I’m happy you came to me. I love you so much.” she says.

“I didn’t know what to do, but then She led me to you. She showed me the way here.” he explains, and Kristen smiles brightly through her tears. “I don’t think I can go home again.”

Kristen shakes her head. “No, you’re not going back there. My friends and I will go get anything you want us to, and you don’t even have to worry about it. I’ll handle our parents.” she assures him. There are a few long moments of silence before she nods, seemingly to herself, and meets his gaze determinedly. “I have something to show you.”

She takes his hand to guide him away from the living room and into what looks, on the outside, like an abandoned chapel. Inside, it’s clear that it’s been transformed into a bedroom and worship area for her. Kristen takes him past her bed to the altar and sits cross-legged in front of it. He mimics her position, facing her, and she takes his hands. 

“Have you seen Her forest?” she asks, and he nods in response before she continues. “Good. If you want to, we can pray together and go there now. Cassandra hasn’t been doing well recently, but I think together we could help her. Would it be okay for us to do that together?”

“Of course it would,” Bucky responds immediately. Almost in unison, they close their eyes, each praying silently to Cassandra. 

Their eyes open at the same time and suddenly they’re both in the twilight forest he’s only ever seen flashes of. There’s a dirt path that leads deeper, and they follow it side-by-side until they see Her. She’s in a small clearing, sitting cross-legged on a solitary tree stump in the center with her eyes closed like she’s asleep. There’s a small black cat in her lap that blinks up at them before leaping down and coming to circle their ankles. 

Cassandra’s eyes open suddenly, and the goddess lives again. 

[no-goodbyes-no-regrets]

I need Brad to stay.

Bobby needs another batshit insane bromance so he can have shenanigans again like he did with Athenas ex husband.

(and I need him to interact with Buck for more Brit related jokes and possibly getting to hear Oliver's 'lads lads lads' accent.)

YES! Bobby needs another friend for shenanigans purposes!

Just imagine Brad shadowing him/the 118 for a day for research for hotshots and he's constantly getting in the way and getting distracted by the public recognising him from the show. And constantly calling Bobby Bob.

And he's just studying them all like bugs under a microscope.

to Eddie about his pornstache: not sure about this mate, not sure I could pull it off. OI BOB, what do you think?

And to Hen: So are you the mother Hen then, love? *Hen only just stops herself from breaking his face*

To Chim: so why do they call you chimney then? Chim *makes up the most random ass batshit insane story on the spot* Brad: fascinating mate! Must remember to pitch that to the writers!

And then with Buck he's found a kindred spirit who will listen to his ramblings and ramble right back.

"So you're not ACTUALLY Bob's boy then?" "No but he's still the father I never had."

and then he finds out about Tommy when he stops by for lunch on his day off.

"Wait so he's your boyfriend? And he's a pilot? MATE where were you when Bob's missus had to land that plane on the freeway??

And Buck starts to copy his accent just for shits and giggles - but then can't stop and is still speaking like that when he comes home to Tommy after his shift - who's not sure if it's adorable or annoying.

Meanwhile Bobby is trying to figure out if he made a mistake allowing Brad to come along or if it's been his greatest decision yet.

[buckevantommy]

S8 bugs me so much because the way we went into it was so promising with so many interesting threads to pull and then... Gaah! Nothing has been handled well. How tf has TM managed to make it to the position he's at? He's so bloody useless! 911 could have been a really good show in more capable hands and I think that's what frustrates me the most, all the waste. 😭😭 The cast, the crew and the show itself deserve so much better!

Piss off to Nashville Tim, I beg of you!

truly!! there was so much to dig our teeth into, but then..

i know people enjoyed the planemergency, but imho it was wasted on guest characters and should've featured more of the 118 and their resident pilot ofc. the black book, gerrard, and ortiz were all done away with in a snap, and suddenly we had to deal with fanboy gerrard and all the brad bs?? likeWHAT??!! they traded some delicious workplace angst for THAT SHIT??!! throw in some nonsensical abby*tommy where the only link is a first fucking name, terrible advice to buck all around, and ofc follow that up with the commencement of everyone treating buck like a baby who doesn't know his own heart/mind for the rest of the season, then cap it off with turning his grief and attempts to help into attacks, blame games, and guilt-tripping (when he tries to distance himself from the toxic(written) people around him). and WHERE was tommy?? no interactions with his old pal howie?? barely any screentime for buck's boyfriend?? we all know how much screentime and individual plot taylor got - if tommy doesn't get that in s9 is2fg..

and that's not even touching on eddie's near-pointless texas sojourn and horrible treatment of buck. or maddie's non-existence as an independant character, she's just a house-zoned mom, suddenly terrible advice giver, and abuse victim who can't escape bc the plot apparently needs some rando to violate her for shock value. even hen and chim - who have long been entertaining as well as a good dynamic for difficult conversations - had too many of their scenes fumbled or just not exist.

but ALSO: the ensemble show has had its cast separated with little to no crossover in friendships and dynamics which not only makes the characters feel disconnected from each other but sever the audience from that beloved group dyanmic as well as the varied character dynamics. this season seemed to be all about plot twists - nearly every fucking ep had a plot twist, each one dumber than the last, like tim was trying to do something we wouldn't guess instead of, y'know, writing a comprehensible narrative for an enjoyable viewing experience - bc WE DON'T CARE if we guess what happens!! that means the story makes sense and we can journey with it!! what we DON'T WANT are plot twists done for shock value, like hell no - gimme character studies and nuanced fucking drama with technically interesting first responder incidents where the team does their thing!! gimme found family vibes, not: i feel sorry for these ppl being stuck working in that toxic environment vibes.

*HEAVY FUCKING SIGH..* 😤😩🙄😒

..rant over.

on a bright note: ravi's return and main team inclusion and budding friendship with buck was *chef's kiss* he's such a welcome breath of fresh air to the team and the show in general, y'know? this ensemble show needs to respect and keep more of their developed characters.

idk what the fuck happened in the creative team this season but it was a MESS. tim fumbled and torpedoed multiple characterisations, storylines, and plot. like. is he okay??? wtf??? now i'm thinking how wonderful it would be if he fucked off to nashville and let s9 be written/run by someone(s) else. i'll take anyone at this point tbh bc i don't want a repeat of that fucking dog's breakfast of a season.

s9 wishlist: ravi mainstay, buck in his own place AND transferring or taking some time off AND ravi/others friendship, bucktommy friends then love for the longrun, maddie gets to be a character again, captain/chief hen, tommy individual storyline, howie grief counselling, gerrard dies offscreen and no one goes to the funeral, ortiz return for vengeance(?), brad dies offscreen - only seen on the front of a newspaper in passing, may and harry living with athena(?), FIX EDDIE like idk - make him a medic and keep ravi as buck's partner and make eddie not be a dick, and improve josh's involvement bc he was annoying af and pointless in s8.

+ bonus: return of sal deluca - captain of elsewhere and friend of tommy, return of lucy - tommy's friend and coworker, and other first responder guest characters we see for more than 2 seconds.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s6 episode 22 "biogenesis" thoughts

season finale time!!! 

i haven’t watched an episode in a week to avoid having to finish the season, but i have started working on my favorite moments list so i would be better prepared. and here we are!

mulder thinks that life began somewhere that isn’t earth… because of some metallic stuff… well. let’s investigate!

i hope we get some answers on his crankiness. but i’m expecting a ton of plot and little character development in this and the next one. but i can hope to be proved wrong! even if i don’t think we’ll ever beat the s2 finale. sighs… how good we had it.

(post-episode thoughts: i need answers. i need krycek's head mounted on the wall the way people display their ten point bucks. i need justice for skinner and to place both of the agents in a big cozy bed where they can have a sleepover.

this episode was actually pretty good! i'm a bit cynical when it comes to mytharc stuff because it is usually just TOO MUCH going on at once, but this one gave me lots to ponder. i love mulder whump and angry protective scully, so!! i was pleased. but also mad af at Certain Characters. i almost went right ahead and watched the next episode despite my system of rules, but it is a THREE-PARTER, and that is going to take me at least a week to get through ON TOP of still having to post my s6 favorite moments😭so i will just be stuck Suffering over here in cliffhanger land for the foreseeable future!)

anyway. back to the beginning!

ah. we open on the earth. i expect a monologue. oh! it’s scully this time!! i’m so used to mulder monologues on the nature of reality, this took me by surprise

scully is gonna tell us about single-celled life. from the sea. maybe that’s why she feels a kinship with the ocean. and then multicellular life comes next.

for a split second there, i felt like i was watching a nature documentary narrated in scully’s soothing voice. to be honest, i didn’t hate the experience. 

440 million years ago… mass extinction. no oceans. then plants. then bugs. WHAT? ANOTHER mass extinction after that? come on!! it was just getting good!

AND IT KEPT HAPPENING?? can you tell i’m not a science girly?reptiles showed up and then got killed off AGAIN? then birds and dinosaurs. and again. mass extinction.

okay, well i knew about the dinosaur one. give me some credit.

humans emerged 100,000 years ago. and this is the stuff i know. 

look at all of these very 90’s visuals. i feel like i’m in a bill nye episode.

“rising to a world population of over five billion people” well! it is still above five billion people. just… a lot more than that these days. 

ahh... i can just hear it. “you’re my one in eight billion, scully” (accompanied by a light forehead kiss)

she says we are all related to that one singular cell. which i don’t want to think about. but no one knows where that first cell came from. 

“is there a plan, a purpose, or a reason to our existence?” girl, you’re catholic! but i suppose even catholics who have a party line with all the answers to those big questions still muse on the nature of reality. especially if they are scientists and also named scully.

i don’t want to think about a 6th extinction… not of humans or all the birdies… and jaguars… no. we shall simply have to not die.

ah. now we have transitioned into the plot rather than musings on the meaning of life. men are shouting in swahili as something washes ashore. it is… a rock looking thingy.

intro time!!!!!! you can’t help but dance to such a spooky tune!! i still get nostalgic for watching season 1 last may sometimes! 

no special words on the intro this time… hmm! i thought we were due for some.

on the ivory coast, we see that krycek will be in this episode thanks to the opening credits. but other stuff is happening, too. the metal thing is here!!

it is taken to a university for studying. where a man (later revealed to be named dr. merkmallen) carefully unwraps another one!!! the two pieces look like they’ll fit together, but when he holds them next to each other, they merge into one and shoot across the room!

this guy’s office looks so cool. OH DAMN! the metal piece cut into his bible!!! a revelation indeed. and now it’s spinning???? and getting faster!!! he wraps it back up. 

ohhh, it cut into genesis as this fellow calls for an international operator… how… prophetic. 

three days later, the gentleman arrives at the american university in washington, which sounds like a fake name for a school, but it is a real place. he is looking for professor sandoz from the bio department. 

no! this other dude has monkeys!!! what is he doing with them??

sandoz is the monkey guy. and this other fellow is dr. merkmallen. sandoz welcomes him in and asks to see this mysterious object. merkmallen was almost detained for having it

ohhh, the monkeys do NOT like this mystery object. they are screaming terribly. i really do not like monkeys, bro. the pieces have merged together. 

oh shoot! when he asks merkmallen if he’s had any luck reading it, he realizes that is not dr. sandoz!! nooooo!!! leave him alone!!!!!!!

someone else hears the angry monkeys, and enters the room to find the metal piece missing. WHERE DID YOU TAKE MERKMALLEN? NOOOO!! he is dead on the floor!!!!!!!!!! come on, we just met the guy and you take him from us already?!

bow tie dude who found them dead seems freaked tf out

(we later learn that bow tie dude is the REAL dr. sandoz, and the other guy who dr. merkmallen was speaking to was named dr. barnes. i have to insert this note here because it makes sense when you're watching the show visually and can see the different characters, but typing this up can lead to some confusion. so. bow tie guy = sandoz. monkey guy = barnes. got it? okay)

hey! it’s skinner! polishing his glasses. saying he thought of someone, given the nature of merkmallen’s views. “i believe agent mulder is familiar with his work”

mulder is pondering. he looks good today. he usually does, but just thought i’d voice all the thoughts running through my head. scully reads his file- his body is missing. 

mulder says the word “panspermia”, which he says is a fringe theory.

OH! scully finishes his sentence. LMAO, yeah. she knows this concept: the idea that life began on another planet. mulder is watching her intently. 

skinner asks if it’s plausible, and she says it’s a theory. lots of scientific theories are plausible.

skinner hands her a rubbing of the mystery artifact that allegedly held the meaning of human existence. and dr. sandoz had made a similar claim in a SCIENCE (pointed mulder tone and look at scully) journal

but they can’t ask dr. sandoz anything… he’s missing!

scully thinks this is a police matter at best, but mulder says oh come on, skinner wants us on it!

this elevator is very crowded. yeah. force them into close proximity. hahaha!

oh… when he opens the paper, he can’t hear anything or anybody. scully thinks he didn’t want to listen to her say that she doesn’t understand his relentless pursuit of the truth, but he clarifies he couldn’t hear it!

OHHHH... scully with her arm up against the elevator….. yeah <3

“look, after all you’ve done, after all you’ve uncovered- a conspiracy of men doing human experiments, men who are all now dead- you exposed their secrets. i mean, you’ve won. what more could you possibly hope to do or to find?” “my sister”

oh, i GASPED! because at the end of the day, that’s really what it’s about. a boy looking for his little sister. sometimes we forget that with all the mothmen and slowburn stuff. but… man. my heart.

they head off to the university. where something is afoot, as shown by the shadow crossing the scene and someone snatching up crime scene evidence.

the police say they have a probable weapon with blood and prints, but no word of dr. sandoz.

dr. barnes, the head of the department, says there is plenty of speculation on what went down. “apart from his laughable ideas, my colleague was capable of almost anything to advance his rather questionable reputation” <- LMAO... so they did not like this guy or talk with him at faculty department meetings. got it.

he was speaking of a mystery artifact- scully shows him the picture and asks if he means this thing. and again, mulder hears a bunch of weird sounds!! scully watches as he leaves. and dr. barnes says that these men who claim life comes from elsewhere are embarrassments.

mulder’s trying to splash his face with water in a sad water fountain. aww. poor guy. scully asks him what it is. OH. she touches his forehead to look for a fever………… oh. see, that’s always gonna get me. he thinks it’s the thing making him feel terrible! 

she opens it and he hears it again. despite it just being a piece of paper.

scully is conducting some sort of meeting. “you’re late!” “i’m sorry, i thought this was my office” <- this is why you are being punished with evil ear noises

she called chuck to get an explanation. “you know me, this is right up my twisted little alley”, he says

chuck seems vaguely familiar to me, but not deeply. i'm sorry 💔 i guess i'm a fake fan

oh! the writing is a fake! it’s phonetic navajo, but it makes no sense in a literal interpretation. is it code?

maybe it’s a magic square? thankfully they explain what that means- it allegedly comes from god and is used for trapping and storing potential power. maybe that is what someone would want mulder to think it is.

change those projector slides. do not let the light hurt your eyes, scully! 

so barnes wrote an article exposing sandoz as a fraud. he made a career exposing science and religious fraud. but that was him at the beginning with the monkeys, right? and sandoz came in later with the bow tie? and then left?

why produce a fraud with navajo writing in africa? again! a great question! but when he puts the picture of the artifact on the projector, poor mulder's head hurts!!! 

OH!! she goes up to him and gently says “hey” and he groans….she leads him outside. so gently. could this pain have to do with what happened to him at the end of s2? where he was brought back from the dead with the navajo healing? and maybe somehow seeing the writing triggers something?

scully says she will schedule him imaging testing immediately- if nothing else, he should be home in bed! but he refuses, saying he knows what is causing this! he thinks barnes killed merkmallen! 

“well, i hope you’re not going to suggest that we arrest him on that rather baseless assumption” <- LMAO, she has time to be a little pain even when he is suffering

“no i’m not. not until after i show you what he did with the body” <-oooo, it’s getting juicy….

they go to visit sandoz’s place, where the landlord does not want to deal with them. DO NOT WAVE YOUR HANDS AT SCULLY, MR. LANDLORD! they’re searching about…. mulder finds some luggage from new mexico. 

OUR FRIEND ALBERT HOSTEEN!! pictured on the wall with sandoz!!! mulder says that maybe sandoz was using him to read the symbols… but scully says “or write them” <- now, albert is a good man!! do not accuse him of being involved in forgery!

i guess he could have asked albert to translate some stuff and then not explain what it was for... so he wouldn't have been in on the knowledge he was being used for forgery... but still. i think he would be deeply insulted at the thought of his culture being used to make forgeries of mysterious artifacts.

EUGH!! scully asks him to make good on his body prediction, and when mulder opens the trash, he does indeed find just this! it’s merkmallen!!! or just his head. NASTY!!!!!

the agents go to skinner, saying they think that sandoz is innocent and framed- just afraid for his life because of what he knows and has.

skinner asks him if it’s this (passes over the rubbing) and mulder is struggling….. “scully could you please tell…. what your medical exam found in the lab report?” he asks with his eyes closed. 

body parts were missing. all of which would show radiation. and they did find some radiation! cosmic galactic radiation! mulder insisted that they test for it!!!

OH SHOOT!!! he is getting worse… and says to skinner that he knows there’s someone else on the case that he’s not telling them about!!! “i hear it… in my head” “mulder, let’s go” 

ohhhh... she says he’s losing it!!! but he claims skinner is spying on them!! i do not think skinner would do this. scully banishes him home, saying she will look for the artifacts. and he doesn’t really put up a fight, which i know means he has something planned…

but shoot!! skinner closes his door…. and there was a camera in his closet!!! he pulls out the tape and hands it to KRYCEK!!!! NOOOO!!! because he has the kill switch!!!!!!! for his weird disease!!! nooo!!!

oh, skinner…. this is so sad. and how did mulder hear in his head that skinner had someone else on the case just from the rubbing of a piece of metal?!

krycek leaves after skinner and him stare at each other for a bit. 

scully heads down to a new mexico hospital, where she finds someone being rushed to another room. is that albert? there’s a translation of the writing on the artifact! IT’S A VERSE FROM GENESIS!! the same one that the artifact ran into at the start of the episode!!!

and it was mr. hosteen being wheeled out!! the nurse says she cannot tell her what is going on, but scully flashes the badge and says she knows him, and she confesses that he has cancer and is dying. :(

mulder is wearing casual clothes- one sleeve rolled to his elbow, one pulled down to his wrist, a bold fashion choice- in the university where barnes teaches. boy is doing some recon, i guess. he sneaks in somewhere he shouldn’t be…..

ah! he’s in his office!!! and barnes comes in…. realizes that his things have been touched…. and rushes back outside…. he goes to find the monkeys. where mulder was hiding!!! 

but mulder hears the stuff again!!!! and he keeps hearing it as he walks down the hall. bro is going to collapse in this hallway full of undergraduates. he tries to go up the stairs. but it isn’t working well. he’s crawling on his hands and knees and he falls!!!!! what is going on!!

meanwhile, scully is waiting for albert, who is rolled back into his room. but someone was watching him!!! and she chases after him!!! was that barnes?? where did he go??? the music is so creepy…..

she finds him!!!! it’s not barnes!!! it’s sandoz!!! she says she needs answers from him!!!

mulder is still on the ground, writhing in pain!! FUCKING KRYCEK FINDS HIM!!!! and just walks away!!!!! WHAT DOES HE KNOW?!?!

where is he going…….. he goes to barnes and says they are destined to be great friends, handing him the tape. why do they know each other....

back in new mexico, sandoz says that albert was the only translator that didn’t dismiss him- he recognized the importance of the artifact. but it was only one fragment. until merkmallen found two more. 

oh! he thinks the bible came from the aliens!! so would that make navajo the original language of the aliens??

scully is very skeptical. the newest section of writing on the artifact seemed to be just random letters, and albert was working on translating it when his health got bad. and it starts spinning in front of them!!!

phone call time. where is mulder??? he says he’s at home, resting. was he with marita? a woman answers...

scully is not pleased with his idea that aliens put us here. WHERE IS HE?? he says it explains everything. “mulder, i will not accept that. it’s just not possible” “well, then you go ahead and prove me wrong, scully” (cranky sick man hangs up)

HE’S WITH DIANA?!?!? I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THIS!!!! 

okay. so it is his apartment, which now has a bed. a very cozy looking bed, may i add. i'm happy for him in that regard. but in every other way, this situation is deeply unfortunate.

and diana is in his apartment. she’s calling someone, saying mulder is in distress, and she’s not leaving until she finds out. AND SHE TAKES HER SHIRT OFF???

GIRL, HE’S DYING!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

she was talking to CSM?!?

holy hell... is diana going to assault him........? what tf is going on.

scully narrates again… the big bang. an act of violence. who did this?

no! albert is being taken to a funeral pyre!! she looks at the stars above. 

wait! he’s not dead. it’s the healing tent! sandoz asks if she wants to come, but scully doesn’t think it’s right for her to join, as she doesn’t share their faith. this is very respectful of her.

skinner calls!!! mulder is in serious condition!!! she has to get here now!!! but she told skinner that sandoz is in new mexico!!! will skinner have to tell krycek?? how quick can you get to DC from new mexico?!

somehow she gets back, but he's not telling her what is going on. skinner calls her dana and grabs her hand….. (omfg... has he ever called her dana before?!) and he says he doesn't know what is going on, but he knew she would want to be here.

mulder’s walking around in a padded room!!! mumbling!!! screaming!!!! and diana is here, too!! 

he’s too violent for them to run more tests!!! he should be in a coma!! scully says to let her try talking to him!! he wouldn't be a danger to her! OH........ oh.... :( she thinks he wouldn't hurt her.... oh. my heart.

“can we speak in the hall?” “about what?” <- OH! she does NOT have time for diana’s tricks… but skinner says her name… and opens the door. and mulder looks up at the camera watching him. 

OHHH what is going on here…??? skinner says that scully has evidence the case is a fraud, and she turns and says “i never sent you that report” <- OH!!!!!!

diana is asking if she can help him- she asks scully to tell her whatever she knows... she says she found him in the stairwell and he could barely speak.

OH!!!! she tells diana she’s a liar and goes to leave. skinner grabs her wrist and she says “you’re both liars”

OMFGGGGGGGGGG….. treacherous skinner CONFIRMED…. but it isn't his fault!!! she escapes from his grip. and he stares at diana.

back in new mexico, more chanting is taking place around albert. sandoz is there.

scully runs into the office, looking for bugs. and she finds a camera in the smoke alarm!!!! but just as she does so, the phone rings. is she going to answer….?

sandoz calls her from new mexico…. she says it’s not a secure line. why did he call right then?! he says the stuff on the artifact, when translated, reads as coordinates for the human genome!! 

but the horses are stirring out in new mexico by sandoz… and there is a gunshot…. and krycek picks up the phone!!! the rat bastard!!!! so did skinner tell him where sandoz was?? or was krycek listening in on the line?!

36 hours later. back on the ivory coast. scully is here!!! trying to find more pieces of the artifact!!! she is led to one….. and she reached in the sand…… and it’s huge!!!!!

it’s some sort of spaceship?? space cathedral?!? huh???? vaguely churchy music plays as the camera pans out...

to be continued?????

girl…. WHAT is going on!!!

skinner is being manipulated by krycek. sure. that’s fair enough. and diana is using mulder for CSM. but to what end!!! did she drug him?? why did she take off her shirt??? can they cure skinner and get him to stop doing all of this?? how long have they been getting spied on??? did the syndicate get to watch their whole baseball flirting session through that smoke alarm camera? is skinner attempting to plot his own resistance? it seems like he is just going along with the whole thing! and that is deeply unlike him!!

UGH!!! how will mulder get better??? was he okay in the time that scully was away??? she must have felt so horrible flying to another continent while he was so sick...

i might break my own rules and watch the next episode tomorrow, and THEN edit my notes. and i’m usually SO principled. i think i’ve only done it once or twice in the entire time i’ve run this blog. but i NEED to know. because like. this diana issue must resolve itself. and what about albert!!!! and fucking krycek!!!

ahhhh!!!!!

oh, FUCK ME!!! i clicked onto the next episode, and i saw that this is a THREE-PARTER, not a mere two-parter!!! so i basically cannot do this plan of watching them all at once!!! because i would get super backlogged when it comes to editing my notes!!! and i still have to do my favorite moments list from s6!! i simply cannot bite off more than i can chew!!! FUCK!

AHHHHH!!! well. i guess that means i’ll get these notes up tomorrow and then start on the favorite moments list. and not have answers. sadly kicks a rock….

so, i have many questions, and i anticipate that few of them will be answered. why is krycek working with dr. barnes? are they trying to expose the x files as fraud? because that is what dr. barnes does- exposes people for fraud? but then why would dr. barnes kill dr. merkmallen? unless dr. barnes is part of the syndicate... there's a pretty big difference between writing a scathing academic article calling bullshit on your coworker's alien theories and actually committing murder. so he must know of the importance of the artifact but is trying to conceal it... because that is the only explanation as to why he would kill somebody over it. and krycek said they were destined to be great friends... and i can't tell if that implies if they knew each other already...

so clearly dr. barnes is lying, because he knew dr. merkmallen was coming, and he asked if the writing had been translated yet. so he knows that the thing is powerful. okay. it's not super clear how his interests correspond with that of the syndicate, but maybe he's an alien?

so. the artifact. the bible MAYBE comes from space, and the aliens use the navajo language. sure. why not?

if it means we get to see our friend albert again, that makes me happy. but he isn't doing very well. it's almost like the writing on the artifact made him sick... because sandoz said that he fell ill when she started to translate it. maybe whatever is happening to him is also happening to mulder? and mulder is in the early stages of whatever it is? and so if scully can find a cure, maybe she can help them both?

or maybe it's something totally different, because mulder was screaming and having his brain go wild, whereas albert was said to have cancer. maybe one progresses into the other?

i am so troubled by skinner working with diana and krycek and CSM. obviously he doesn't want to be doing this! but is he just going along because he knows if he doesn't, he'll die? but he made that promise on his death bed to do better and help the agents more!! is he somehow sabotaging them? did he call her "dana" to tip her off to the treachery? he knows scully isn't stupid...

and scully knew right away that this wasn't a matter for the FBI, but once again mulder got taken in and fully believed the promises of investigating aliens with no real evidence to support it... only that it was coming from skinner, one of the few people he should be able to trust, and the terrible aching desire to find his sister that keeps him up at night and makes him so easy to manipulate...

fucking diana. i thought she was gone!! i should have known better. what is she doing with him? he goes from hearing things to having crazy brain activity when she conveniently finds him? did he really call her and ask for help? i don't buy the story for a second! and she calls CSM and says she won't leave until she knows what is going on... and then she takes her SHIRT off... is she trying to manipulate him? or did she straight up assault him? he's dying!! he doesn't want to see your boobs!!

scully immediately clocking that diana and skinner were lying to her face... yeah. this is immensely satisfying to me.

well. now i have to edit my other notes before i can watch what happens next. and as i type this up on a sunday, i imagine that it will be tuesday at the earliest before i get to watch part two. and then goodness only knows when i will be able to watch part three! this is deeply unfair! but alas. i stick by my routine.

diana and krycek... you freaks deserve each other... although i still think krycek/spender is far juicier. even if spender might be dead. sorry. i will speak my truth.

[pinyatapix]

having a favorite character who originally came from a gacha game sucks sooooo bad bcuz even though i look at them and im like “oooohhh you’re so precious” or “oooohhh you’re so insane i desperately need to study every bit of you like a bug”, at the same time im also horrifically aware that this is all just one carefully constructed piece of the twisted capitalistic model of gacha games. giving these overdesigned anime pngs/3d models as much fun charming personality and deep interesting backstory as possible so you and many others get deeply uncontrollably attached to them, which in turn acts as a huge drive to get you into grinding and rolling for these characters, wasting huge amounts of time and/or money all just to obtain your waifu/husbando/comfort scrunkly blorbo scrimblo of choice.

It feels so fucking evil, using the natural response of getting attached to fictional characters for such capitalistic gain. Planting the seeds for fandoms to grow all just to make them eternal customers of your product. This shit’s nearly ruined my life, even without spending money i still spent so much precious time progressing in the game yet never progressing anywhere in real life, and yet still the one character i simp for the most is from fucking genshin impact.

idk man. youtubers should stop getting sponsorships from gacha game companies. every time ginja ninja owo makes a (sponsored) video where they draw fanart for the next hit game from mihoyo a part of my soul dies

why waste 20 bucks on a ten pull when you could waste 20 bucks on an obscure indie game on steam that will permanently influence and change the perception and trajectory of your life forever

[bluemoon1331]

So, trying to get back into the swing of things. Have a project with a more concrete plot I'm attempting to work through first before getting back to any of my other, mostly freeform fics, just for sanity's sake. In the meantime, here's a drabble from that one superhero au I came up with a while back where the boys are demon bartenders and reader is a hero.

cw: suggestive, possessive behavior, virus'd reader, kidnapping

Sun sighs, trudging up the stairs to his apartment. The door hinges slightly squeak when pushed, darkness welcoming him into the embrace of his home. Downstairs, the distant din of Moon on night shift is abruptly cut off with a gentle click.

Detangling from his suit jacket, he tosses it onto the suede couch, passing through the living room. The temptation of a quick bite is dismissed equally as fast, making for the bedroom instead. The day has been long, and it is among the rare occasions he would actually like to get some real sleep.

Stepping inside the adjoining space, Sun shuffles toward the bed, only to feel a tingle rocket up his back. Stiffening, he whips around, already prepared to defend himself, becoming enclosed in the space when the bedroom shuts without a sound.

Sun stops short when his eyes make contact with the figure blocking the doorway, posture loosening in surprise. "Earthlight?" he probes, confused. "What are you doing up here? When did you get here?"

You don't say anything at first, your stare burrowing into him as if to drill a hole to his soul. You remain entirely still, putting a statue to shame with your eerie muteness.

"Earthlight?" he tries again, unease rippling through him. This doesn't seem right, even when you are in one of your more intense drunken states.

"Sun," you at last break the silence, the name slipping free monotonously. "Moon is...downstairs."

It's framed like a question, but comes out more of a flat statement. On edge, Sun slowly allows himself to nod. "There was a meet up nearby today. He took over a bit early. Sorry if you were disappointed at my lack of shining presence, lightning bug."

You lapse into silence for another unsettling period, ending by minutely shifting in place. "That is fine. You're here now."

Sun continues to study you, a strange glint to your orbs that sends a warning of danger to his gut. "That I am. Is there something you need, Pressurix?" He does not remember the last time he called you by your hero moniker, he is merely hoping it is enough to knock you out of whatever state you're in.

In a move that does quite the opposite, your head snaps to the side, and your expression only seems to become more intense. "What do I need, golden buck? It is so obvious. Don't play dumb by using that name."

The last part is a near snarl, dripping disdain. Sun has spent more than enough nights around an intoxicated you to know that today is one of those times where your job status is a hot button issue. Not that he has a spare moment to worry about that with you finally taking a step forward, then another, advancing on him, exuding a menacing aura.

Sun paces back, attempting to put the bed between you and him. "Earthlight, what is going on? You're not acting right," he cautions, gaze narrowing. Fire flares between his horns, claws flexing as he braces himself for whatever you do next.

You pause, regarding him without so much as a blink. The suffocating tension in the air falters, something flashing through your eyes. Your features soften, and you seem to relax, a smile turning your lips. "Don't be silly, Sun. I'm fine. I guess I'm just a little weary of the game after all this time."

The sudden pivot fails to relieve Sun in the slightest, but there's an underlying sincerity that catches him off guard. Your next steps forward are much less aggressive, almost appearing to float as you stand before him. You're nearly equal in height, save for his horns, where the spark dies while you give him an unnervingly tender look.

"Sun," you say again, lower, raising a hand to cup the side of his face. He can't prevent a flinch, thrown into wild waters, unsure what to expect next from you. "My golden buck, playful inferno, sweet bee."

Distrustful as he is, Sun is more than aware of the faint warmth flowing to his face that has nothing to do with his powers or demon blood. You've all been playfully affectionate with each other before, but this is very different. Just how drunk were you? Were you drunk? He didn't smell any alcohol.

He doesn't get to unravel the mystery before you are leaning forward and planting your lips to his. Your thumb strokes his cheek idly as he freezes, an entire wellspring of emotion erupting from his center. A long-buried longing rages forth, hidden glances from across the bar, tenderly aiding you whenever him and Moon would need to get you home. The pining that swirled between you all, but neither party willing to act on it for fear of what came after.

What changed? Why would you do this now? And what was with your approach mere moments ago?

The endless loop of questions circle his mind, though the more time passes, the more they fade into the static of his subconscious. The kiss is everything he thought it would be, maybe more, lightning and warm, a thundercloud on a warm spring day. He melts under it, brushing against the edge of the mattress to sit. Your mouth moves in tandem with his, deepening as you lilt forward, planting your hand on his thigh while the other keeps a firm place on his face.

He breaks with a gasp, breathing hard, disheveled and dazed. "Earthlight, that...I...." Sun struggles to find the words, exhaling shakily. You outright giggle, something entirely foreign to your average, amused chuckle. Your lips descend, ghosting his neck, skin flushing as he properly blushes at your unforeseen boldness.

"Shhh, Sun. No need to hide anything anymore," you murmur, nipping at him with a salacious grin.

"H-hide?" he mumbles, about ready to combust. It's a bit odd, though. He definitely feels hot, like there should be some level of steam escaping him like what normally happens when he gets this flustered, but it's like it's cooling before it can rise.

In fact, opposite to his insides, Sun's skin is overtaken by a plummeting chill. Stirring from his stupor, Sun blinks and shudders at the oppressive atmosphere. He attempts to conjure a bit more warmth to the space, but every time he does, the temperature instantly drops again.

Alarm trickles back in, another jingle of light laughter escaping you seeping dread into his bones. "I know you both wonder why the Commission suddenly started keeping such a tight hold on me, why I started showing up at the bar more than I did in public. And, oh, Sun, how I wanted to tell you both."

You draw away, planting a palm on his chest to push him down further, meeting his widening gaze. "I'm crazy~," you declare sweetly, grin twisting insidiously. "Got a little virus in the head, went a little cuckoo!"

Your chortles are anything but humorous. Sun wants to move, to get away, but a sudden weight crashes onto his shoulders, the atmosphere itself pinning him to the spot with its icy grip. "And you. You silly fools, all of you, falling so fast but keeping yourselves at a distance. You've no idea how you've helped me. Even now, this is more them than me, ya know? Oh, the frenzy of want, it's really just. Too. Much."

Your hand is around his throat, and he can't breathe, he can't breathe. Ice creeps across his fiery orange skin, gasping and wheezing and struggling to lift his arms, to pry at your fingers, but your power hits him like an avalanche, pushing him down into the bed with so much pressure it creaks under him, threatening to splinter apart.

Earth...light..., he mouths desperately, shadows creeping at the edge of his vision. He doesn't want to go back to the Underworld. Not yet. Away from Moon, and even you, whatever it is currently happening to make you this way. A virus of the mind? He doesn't understand, he just knows that it hurts in so many ways, squeezing his hearts as much as his airway.

At the last second, there's a glimmer of panic and fury which darts across your face, a loud boom that leaves his ears ringing, and then nothing but silence and darkness.

-----------------

It was not often Moon claims his mantle behind the bar before the stroke of midnight, but he could tell Sun needed a break. The Auric Council, pompous sorcerer pains in the ass that they are, had decided their spot was the perfect place to crash after their oh-so-important meeting.

The fact they often saw Summoned demons like him and Sun as tools or servants was fairly clear in their interactions. If it had been Moon dealing with them from the get go, they likely would've been chased out hours ago. Unfortunately, his brighter partner's unyielding patience and endearing friendliness proved both a blessing and a curse.

At least the flow had slowed down, people shuffling out when it was clear he wasn't gonna take attitude like Sun does. There was one particular robed monk Moon had been thrilled to toss out into the gutter face-first. He truly felt for any poor contractor that might be tied to such a clearly sleazy person.

Scrubbing off the countertop from a slight spill, Moon's attention drifts across the nearly empty bar. Much as to be expected of a moment like this, his thoughts inevitably turn to you.

Once one of the biggest names in the hero business, you shone bright, garnering much attention and praise. He's seen plenty of interviews in the past where you present yourself with much enthusiasm and charm. Yet, it's become increasingly rare to see your face anywhere outside the bar, which you usually come to basically every night. The fact you've yet to slump into a stool, grumbling about another meeting with the government higher ups, or even to tease him on his 'hippy look', is a bit surprising.

Maybe the day was just as long for you as it was for Sun. Gods know you've still got your hands full keeping a bunch of super-powered assholes at bay. You were considered among the elites of heroes for a reason. The fact that you could do that and come here to handle his snark so gracefully is downright amusing and amazing.

Despite your banter, though, Moon does worry about you. He doesn't need to be a mind reader to tell that there's something you're holding back. Something you seem almost scared of. Every time he thinks things might be going somewhere, that maybe, just maybe, the stars might align, you withdraw. And Moon respects that, truly. The nuances of you, in your position, entering a relationship, and they in their contractual bind, perhaps it was for the best that nothing changed.

He just can't help wishing that it would. That he could do more.

Moon's concentration is broken by what sounds like a bomb erupting over his head, shaking the building to its foundation. Every patron jolts from their intoxicated haze, glancing around in bleary bewilderment. Moon's teeth nearly grind together at the sight. Fat lot of good a bunch of drunken heroes and vigilantes do him.

Tossing aside his cloth, Moon vaults over the bar and races for the apartment at the top of the stairs. "Sun!" he bellows, slamming through the door into chaos. It looked like a hurricane had ripped through their belongings, everything blown about and overturned. Ice swirls around his hands, prepared to blast whatever foe dared to attack their home.

Only...the apartment is empty, a page fluttering by in the breeze the only noise to be heard. Taking wary steps, Moon sweeps through the apartment, eyes peeled for any intruder or his missing partner.

Reaching the bedroom door, or what remains of it, his entire being goes slack, willpower abandoning him. Where once there was a cozy bed shared between them, only shards remain. The entire roof is gone, imploded outward in spectacular display.

The sight is surreal, something out of a nightmare. Moon's arms fall limp to his side, and he strides forward as if reality is warping around him. "Sun?" he dares to breathe once more, praying for a response. All he gets is the wind.

His mind fogs over, falling to his knees and staring at the stormy sky, refusing to break and match his inner turmoil. What happened here? Who would attack them, and why? Most importantly, where is his partner?

Where is Sun?

-----------------

A groan catches in Sun's throat, pain flashing through his nervous system at the action. Oh, fuck, he hurts. Why does he hurt?

His lids are slow to lift, skull pounding from the inside. The first thing he is aware of is that he can't see anything. Spots dance through the black, making him wince. He shifts and squirm, the surface underneath him flat but comfy enough.

Sun attempts to sit up, gain his bearings, only for his arms to catch behind him. Panic strikes him, pulling and yanking, but whatever binds his arms refuses to give, no matter how much strength he uses, or how he heats his skin. What in the Underworld is going on?!

Lost to his turmoil, it takes Sun a minute to recognize a nearby sound. Going still, he strains to listen, picking up on a mess of frantic whispers. "....shouldn't have....this isn't...have to...before..."

Beneath that, there is a subtle pacing, the turning of heels against smooth flooring to go back and forth. There's something about the voice, something almost familiar, tickling the edge of his consciousness....

Sun's hearts stop, throbbing skull struck by a tidal wave of images. You, appearing from nowhere, cornering him on the bed, and then-

"E-Earthlight?" he interjects weakly, reluctant to speak up, but unable to do much else. All movement and talk ceases, able to feel you staring at him through whatever blocks his sight. "What's going on? Where are we?"

You don't answer, not at first. It stretches for such a time he fears you may have actually left him at some point, though he dares not move in his precarious situation without knowing for certain.

"I'm sorry."

Your apology comes out so low Sun almost wonders if he heard it all, or if the migraine is making him hallucinate.

When he fails to respond, you break the silence once more. "None of this was supposed to happen," you declare, furthering puzzling him. "It was just a routine mission, none of us could have predicted what that little lab rat had up his sleeve, right under his 'master's' nose."

Your rambling returns you to pacing, clinging tightly to yourself out of Sun's view. "We've been trying so hard to fix it, but we're running out of time. I'm running out of time. We need to find him. I thought I had it under control, but it's getting worse, I almost...almost..."

Your tone quakes and quivers near the end, threatening to burst, coming to a standstill. Sun can visualize you shaking, horror filling you. A new understanding dawns on him, comparing you now to the you in his room. What you'd said then, what you divulged presently.

"Earthlight, look at me," he commands, changing posture to try and seem less, admittedly, afraid. "It's not your fault. You were just doing good. The only ones to blame are the ones who...infected you. It'll be okay. We'll figure it out. Okay?"

You clearly process his words, debating, thinking.

Then, a gentle touch. Sun locks himself in place to stop an instinctual flinch. "Oh, Sun," you mutter, full of wistful affection, yet sounding so tired. "I wish it could be that simple. No one was ever meant to know." You laugh, devoid of any actual joy. "Can you imagine, finding out one of the most powerful people on Earth is slowly losing their sanity? Not to mention how it all started. I can never forget that day..."

You drift off, staring right through Sun as your thumb rubs at the point where his right horn connects to his head. It sends a shiver through him, waiting with baited breath for your next move.

"Earthlight...," he eventually shatters the ice. "...you never meant to hurt anybody. I know that. You can forgive yourself, in time. Just please. Don't give up. Don't give in. You can do this...we can do this."

Your caresses abate, hand dropping away altogether. Unease fills him, aware of that creeping intensity from when you first showed up.

"...You really are too kind for your own good, Sun" you utter severely. "This whole thing we've had going on, it should never have happened. You truly can't imagine what it's done to me. And every logical part of me says that I should be letting you go, in every sense of the word, but..."

There's a switch, a thickness to the air, as you lean in closer, hand pressing to the wall beside Sun's head. "I don't want to," you whisper, wall cracking next to him, dust crumbling down to his feet. Sun stiffens, hearts thundering in his chest, preparing for you to snap.

Instead, you subside, hefting a heavy lungful of air, letting your fingers run through your hair. Your hand flops to your side, and you return focus to Sun, examining him intently. "I need you to stay out of this," you dictate. "It's getting too close. I need you here, in a safe place that I can still reach. Once I get my hands on that rat..."

You pause, leaving it to the imagination, before glancing away. "Moon, too. It's clear we're getting to that point. I can't let it happen any later, seeing him again. I need..."

The farther you get in your assertions, the more your voice fades, making it harder for Sun to discern. Your mention of his partner has his claws flexing and clenching behind his back.

"Don't hurt Moon," he growls, canines peeking out protectively. You watch the display, then shake your head and smile.

"What do you think I'm trying to prevent, silly?" you question wearily, bordering on teasing. "The more control, the more satisfied it is. This will help, on a certain level. After all...I won't let it happen again."

Your ferocity is paralyzing, more unhinged than a rabid beast in the wild. The atmosphere around his throat condenses, a near physical thing, and he braces himself for you to wrap your hand around it again. What he receives, however, is a simple touch, timid and shaking, the stroke of fingers down his windpipe, which swiftly retreats with a lightning fast snap.

"I'll be back," you grumble, turning to depart.

Frantically, Sun scrambles for what to say, what might change your course of action, but he is not even close to as good as Moon is in the face of such danger. His usually honeyed tongue fails him, and all he can bring himself to utter, slouching in defeat, is, "Please, be careful. Be gentle."

You halt at the other end of the room, if only for just a second. "I will be," you offer soft reassurance, and then you're gone, and Sun is alone. But, he fears, not for long.