#i want to start using references more often so i can get a better feel for this stuff and get better at emulating that effect without them

[ink-the-artist]

so somehow it’s the first time I’ve seen your Dogs illustration from May. it’s very very cool and strongly reminds me of AI-generated art — did you use AI to inspire the shapes? or otherwise influence the piece somehow? interested in your process! very cool.

yes! some more directly reference ai images id generated than others lol

[disneyvillainsdaily]

Thinking about Lilo & Stitch makes me really appreciate certain things about the original + the series. Almost every single named [human] character in the movie isn’t white: the only exception being Mertle, y’know, the bratty little girl we’re not supposed to like.

Besides all of the racial representation, Lilo herself is very much a neurodivergent icon, and her portrayal as the protagonist is amazing considering how characters like her are typically either sidelined or depicted in ways to make them less sympathetic/human (modern media does at least a slightly better job at adressing that kind of thing tho).

So all of that is great, but to anyone that hasn’t seen Lilo & Stitch: The Series, it also does some extremely refreshing stuff.

Pleakley gets tons of validation to dress in drag, everyone always referring to Pleakley as “she” when dressed up as “aunt Pleakley.” There’s even an episode that tackles Pleakley dealing with the pressures of his family that wants him to marry a girl and settle down to have a “normal life.” After the episode's shenanigans, there's a realistic depiction of the misunderstanding of a heteronormative/traditional parent with their non-traditional child: Pleakley's mom says that she just wants her children to be happy, but when Pleakley says that he is happy, she thinks he's only trying to console her as she insists, "How can you be happy? You aren't even married." But Pleakley finally gets it through to his mom when he says, "I don't want to be married, mother! I'm happy just as I am."

After getting to meet all of Pleakley's ohana throughout the episode and hearing from Pleakley himself -after all of the previous misunderstandings- that he really, truly, is happy, she's finally starting to understand.

Even though his mom comments as they leave that she wants him to “try wearing men’s clothes more often,” she still does walk away accepting that she simply doesn’t understand her son's way of thinking. It’ll definitely be hard for her since she’s so much more “traditional,” but she’s finally coming to grips with the fact that her son is who he is, and likes being that way, so she’ll love him regardless. She's trying her best.

The portrayal of people with physical disabilities is also great. It’s not because there’s one recurring character with some condition, but almost because there are non-recurring characters. It isn’t in every episode, but here’s an example: they want to show someone at the park playing fetch with their dog for just one shot. They could very easily have it be any a random person, but they decided to make it a lady in a wheelchair. There's another episode where Nani's friends from highschool show up and one has forearm crutches, but not just because she had some recent accident. No one in the episode questions her condition or feels the need to point it out, the only comment on it being that the friend will use the crutches to lightly bonk the others' arms, and Nani jokes, "You are still deadly with that thing."

The fact that they include characters with disabilities when they "don't have to" makes it that much more normal. These people aren't some special case or the main highlight of the episode, they're just another person. They're normal.

There's so much that all of the original Lilo & Stitch media did right, but now the name will forever be tainted with the association of the remake, which I'm sure will have absolutely none of the tasteful writing and ideas of anything prior to it.

[nepenthendline]

the not-so-good parts about dating them

a/n: I am nothing if not a red flag lover

includes: midoriya, todokori, bakugo, shinsou, kirishima, kaminari, iida, hawks, aizawa

Midoriya -

Midoriya's priority list is '1. everyone' so, sometimes, it's difficult to feel special in his eyes. It's not that he doesn't see you as a top priority, he just often lets himself get caught up with other people and dealing with their problems so you don't get his undivided attention all that often. He doesn't mean to do it at all, but he has missed dates before because he was staying late at work to help his students or got stuck helping out a friend.

Bakugo -

🤨 Aside from his obvious anger issues, Bakugo often struggles to see you as a team and not just individuals. Whenever you argue, he often sees it as a 'me vs you' and not a 'us vs the problem', and he sometimes makes big decisions without talking to you first. He feels like he has to be better than you because he needs to be a provider and a protector, so he tackles issues on his own instead of talking to you and working things through as a team.

Todoroki -

Todokori has no reference to what a 'healthy' relationship looks like, and it terrifies him. All he knows is what, or who, he doesn't want to end up like, and it stops him from taking initiative in your relationship because he's scared of doing the wrong thing. He knows he's not like his father, but he still worries that he's going to end up like him anyway, as if it's fated. Because of this, things move incredibly slowly, and it can be hard to tell that he does love you since he doesn't often make moves or use words to show you. He knows he wants, and needs, to improve though, he just needs some guidance.

Kaminari -

Kaminari struggles with self-sabotage in your relationship - he convinces himself that he's not good enough for you or that he's making your life worse by being with you, and can push you away, cancel dates late minute or act like he doesn't need you. These actions never last long before he snaps out of it, and you're well aware by now of what's going on in his head when he starts acting like this, but he's always convinced he's going to fuck this up. And sometimes, he believes it so much that he does. The guilt eats away at him daily.

Kirishima -

(Absolutely nothing) Kirishima hates showing you when he's feeling down, weak, or 'unmanly'. He bottles up a lot of his negative emotions and thoughts away from you and they gnaw away at him. Its not that he feels like he can't talk to you, in fact sometimes he lets things slip because he feels so comfortable around you, but quickly tries to put a positive spin on his words so that you don't worry. It's more that he feels he shouldn't, and that you have enough things to deal with as it is. He wants to be a safe space for you, so dealing with his emotions is out of the question. He never blows up at you because things get too far though, you just wish he could rely on you more.

Iida -

For the first while in your relationship, it almost felt like you lost your friendship with Iida. The lines between being friends and being a partner were extremely defined to Iida for some time, and he felt that every interaction between the two of you had to be so formally-relationshipy - this meant things such as only spending time with you on pre-scheduled dates, affection felt like ticking boxes on what was 'meant' to come next in a relationship, or not letting you see his deeper, darker times. Things do get better after some time and conversations, but it kinda felt like the first year of your relationship didn't really count.

Shinsou -

Shinsou feels like being with you is the most selfish act someone has ever committed. Sometimes he even thinks that, somehow in a way he doesn't know, he's forcing you to be with him. He feels like you can do so much better than him, but he loves you too much to let you go (not that you would anyway). He thinks that he doesnt treat you as well as you deserve and so he goes overboard to 'make things up to you', when in reality he's the most caring, selfless person you've met. He often brings up the idea of you finding someone else, or that you can cheat on him and he'll stay if that makes you happy, and it breaks your heart every time.

Aizawa -

Aizawa feels like everyone he truly lets in, he has lost, and he is terrified that's going to happen to you. So, he tries to keep his feelings and thoughts for you as surface-level as possible. The problem is that he's terrible at doing that - he has such a big heart and he wants you in every way imaginable, which creates a lot of inner conflict for him. One minute he's telling you everything weighing on his mind and letting himself fall deeper into you, and the next he's keeping you at arms length. He's scared to admit that he relies on you or that he needs you, but he does it anyway and it tears him apart inside.

Hawks -

He lies to you more times that he would like to admit. Well, it's more that he's very good about skirting around a question or situation rather than telling you the truth. There's some things in his life, his past, or his thoughts that he feels are best not being part of your life, and so he will tell you little lies and make adjustments to the truth to fit a narrative that he prefers. He wants to protect you from any negativity or darkness that he can - he knows what going through that feels like and he does not want you to have to feel that too, but mostly, and most selfishly, he's terrified of you thinking he's a bad person because of some actions he's had to take. It can be almost impossible to tell when he's lying or telling the truth because he's extremely open and upfront with other topics.

[byoldervine]

Types Of Writer’s Block (And How To Fix Them)

1. High inspiration, low motivation. You have so many ideas to write, but you just don’t have the motivation to actually get them down, and even if you can make yourself start writing it you’ll often find yourself getting distracted or disengaged in favour of imagining everything playing out

Try just bullet pointing the ideas you have instead of writing them properly, especially if you won’t remember it afterwards if you don’t. At least you’ll have the ideas ready to use when you have the motivation later on

2. Low inspiration, high motivation. You’re all prepared, you’re so pumped to write, you open your document aaaaand… three hours later, that cursor is still blinking at the top of a blank page

RIP pantsers but this is where plotting wins out; refer back to your plans and figure out where to go from here. You can also use your bullet points from the last point if this is applicable

3. No inspiration, no motivation. You don’t have any ideas, you don’t feel like writing, all in all everything is just sucky when you think about it

Make a deal with yourself; usually when I’m feeling this way I can tell myself “Okay, just write anyway for ten minutes and after that, if you really want to stop, you can stop” and then once my ten minutes is up I’ve often found my flow. Just remember that, if you still don’t want to keep writing after your ten minutes is up, don’t keep writing anyway and break your deal - it’ll be harder to make deals with yourself in future if your brain knows you don’t honour them

4. Can’t bridge the gap. When you’re stuck on this one sentence/paragraph that you just don’t know how to progress through. Until you figure it out, productivity has slowed to a halt

Mark it up, bullet point what you want to happen here, then move on. A lot of people don’t know how to keep writing after skipping a part because they don’t know exactly what happened to lead up to this moment - but you have a general idea just like you do for everything else you’re writing, and that’s enough. Just keep it generic and know you can go back to edit later, at the same time as when you’re filling in the blank. It’ll give editing you a clear purpose, if nothing else

5. Perfectionism and self-doubt. You don’t think your writing is perfect first time, so you struggle to accept that it’s anything better than a total failure. Whether or not you’re aware of the fact that this is an unrealistic standard makes no difference

Perfection is stagnant. If you write the perfect story, which would require you to turn a good story into something objective rather than subjective, then after that you’d never write again, because nothing will ever meet that standard again. That or you would only ever write the same kind of stories over and over, never growing or developing as a writer. If you’re looking back on your writing and saying “This is so bad, I hate it”, that’s generally a good thing; it means you’ve grown and improved. Maybe your current writing isn’t bad, if just matched your skill level at the time, and since then you’re able to maintain a higher standard since you’ve learned more about your craft as time went on

[butyoudidthis4what]

Would You Believe Me If...

Jack Abbot x F!Reader

3.5k || All my content is 18+ MDNI || CWs: mentions of alcohol; reference to sex; mental health issues; reader is not having a great time; reader doesn't like beer; depression; being sad for no articulable reason; self-hate; ass grab; kissing with tongue; little to no editing/proofreading; Jack being the BEST; hurt/comfort type situation (reader's brain is the hurt, Jack is the comfort)

Summary: Jack sees the sadness you're hiding from everyone and pulls you aside to talk and love on you.

AN: I was sent this ask and inspired to write whatever this is!!!! A short little fluffy comfort fic! I very much agree with that anon that Jack is very much an "On purpose. On purpose I am going to care about you" and "I never loved you on accident?" man. He would see all of you, good and bad, and still love you. I tried to give him that kind of vibe in You're Okay too and we see it here again (I hope, I don't really know what I'm doing anymore). I have absolutely zero fucking clue what the end is or where that came from but here we are friends. ALSO there is a very small Star Wars nod in here since I’m posting on May 4th! Thank you for reading!!

Jack’s eyes find you the second he hears you laugh. 

Quite literally a second because he’s always keeping an eye on you when you’re out together, not controlling or because he cares who you’re with. He just always wants to know where you are relative to him, just in case something happens and he needs to get to you. Military training, he supposes.

His eyes find you because he knows that laugh. It’s not your real laugh. It’s fake, the one you put on when you’re not super present and are hiding your sadness. To anyone else it’s very convincing, they don’t blink at it. 

He narrows his eyes a little to watch you better as you chat with McKay, Samira and Parker. Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes and he can see your leg bouncing under the picnic table, can see the way you chew on the side of your cheek every so often. 

“You gonna pay attention to this conversation or just stare at your girl all day?” Robby asks Jack. Most of the crew is at a local park for a picnic celebrating Dana’s birthday.

“I’ve been paying attention and heard everything you said. Unlike you I can multitask.” Jack finally lets his eyes leave you as he turns to look back at Robby. Shen and Whitaker stifle laughs. Everyone knows it’s not true and just Jack giving Robby shit. You have to be able to multitask to be a good emergentologist, and Robby is one of the best, Jack’s told him that many times. 

“I agree though,” Jack nods at Robby. “The patient satisfaction scores are bullshit. They should automatically be a ten or whatever the highest thing on the fucking form is if they’re brough in via ambulance and survive.”

“People come in by ambulance for really stupid things that don’t really require us saving them,” Whitaker observes. 

“And people walk in with injuries they really should have come in an ambulance for,” Robby shrugs. “It would even itself out.” 

“Exactly,” Jack nods. He looks back over at you for a second and then stands up. “I’ll be back.”

“Sure you will,” Robby drawls, smirking. 

Jack ignores him as he starts walking over to you. “Hey,” he says to the group as he reaches you, sets his hands on your shoulders from behind and squeezes. You feel a little better already, just from being closer to him. The rest of the group continues chatting as he leans down to speak just to you. “Take a walk with me for a few minutes?”

You furrow your brows, tilt your head and look back a little to see him. “Um, sure. Is there a reason why? Are you sure? It seemed like you guys were having a good conversation.” You flick your head towards Robby, Shen and Whitaker. 

“I’m sure. And does there need to be a reason why I want to take a walk with my girl?” He turns his head a little more and places a soft kiss just below your ear. 

My girl. Even though you’ve been together for a while now it still makes you a little dizzy to hear. 

“No, I guess not.” You give him one of those fake smiles and he knows it’s not because you’re trying to fool him, not really, deep down you know better than to even try by this point, but because you’re in public. Have to keep up appearances. 

“Well I know not, so.” He leans back up and moves his hands from your shoulders. “I’m stealing her for a minute.” He nods at the group. It pulls some smirks but nobody says anything, they all just nod. As you get up Jack finishes off the little bit of cider left in the bottle you were nursing. 

Once you’re up Jack laces his hand with yours and leads you over to the park’s path, walks down it a ways with you in silence before pulling you off it. He walks with you on the grass until you come to a spot where the ground starts to slope down, the top of a little hill that provides a nice view of the sun setting over the city. You’re more than far away enough that nobody can hear or see you.

“What’s up?” You titter a little, clearly a bit nervous. 

Jack nods at the ground and you both sit, feet out in front of you, grass and soil dry from the heat of the day. “You were totally spaced out and not really there.” He eyes you carefully. “You’re back now, for the most part, but I wanted to see what’s up away from everyone.” 

You push your bottom lip out a little and shrug, shake your head. “I’m f-” Jack gives you a look. “I don’t even know why I bother trying,” you mutter. 

“Neither do I. But I get it. Wanting to hide it and not let me see because you know I don’t like seeing you upset. I feel the same.” He squeezes your leg gently and doesn’t press when you’re quiet for a bit as you think of what you want to say. 

“Would you believe me if I said I didn’t know?” you murmur. You already know the answer but you’re using the question as an answer itself.

“Yeah.” Jack pauses and cocks his head at you, catches your eyes and holds your gaze as he speaks. “Would you believe me if I told you it was okay not to know?” He already knows the answer but he’s using the question to tell you it’s okay. 

You let out a breath through your nose and shake your head a little as you look away from him and out at the city, Jack doing the same. “I know it is. Rationally. But the irrational side of my brain doesn’t.”

You see Jack nod out of the corner of your eye. He gives you space to think, sits in the background buzz of the park with you, hand running up and down your thigh to ground you, remind you he’s here. 

“I’m just sad.” You shrug. You aren’t teary, don’t even have the urge to cry at the moment. It’s a hollow sadness. One that just vaguely aches and makes you tired. “There’s no reason for it. Just am.” 

“Would you believe me if I told you that’s okay too?” Again, he knows the answer but uses the question to make the point. 

“Is it though Jack?” You reply quickly. It surprises him, catches him off guard. 

He turns back to study your face, see if he can read what this is from your profile. He has a feeling he knows where this is going. 

“It doesn’t feel okay,” you continue. “Not even for me, but for you. It’s not fair to you. For me to just randomly be sad sometimes and unable to explain why. Because fuck Jack, I just want to sit here and be sad. I just want to sit here and be sad and maybe cry if I can get past whatever fucking emotional brick it is that’s stopping me from doing so. But what I don’t want is for you to have to sit here with me in it.” 

Jack lets your words hang in the air for a few seconds so that you know he’s really listening and taking them in, but not so long that it feels like he’s having to think of a response.

“It is okay. I promise you it is.” As much as he loves eye contact he knows it would be a little too much for you right now so he doesn’t push you to look at him or try to catch your gaze. “And it’s okay for us to just sit here. We can just sit in the sad. I hate seeing you be sad and struggle, yes. But sometimes you just need to sit here and feel it. And I want to be there next to you when you do. You don’t have to be okay and happy all of the time. You’re allowed to just sit here and be sad or whatever emotion you want to be. You don’t constantly have to be working towards being better when you get sad like this. We can stay here for a bit. I’m not going to let you or us unpack and move here, but we can visit sometimes. You can feel whatever it is you need to feel in front of me and with me. I want you to.”  

You let out a shaky breath. You know that what he’s saying is true. At least part of you does. But it’s so hard to accept. 

“And there are very few things in life that I have to do anymore, sweetheart.” He gives your leg a little squeeze before resuming running his hand up and down it. “You’re not holding me hostage or keeping me here against my will. I know I don’t have to sit here with you while you’re sad and don’t know why. I don’t feel like I have to. I choose to. I choose to sit next to you here in the sadness the way you do for me when I want to sit and be sad and not know why. I choose you.” 

“You should choose better.” It’s whispered. “You deserve better.” 

Jack starts shaking his head before you even finish the word better. 

“Yes, Jack, you do,” you say before he can get anything out. “Because you’ve been through so much already. You deserve to be with someone better. Someone easier to love who isn’t constantly putting you through shit like this. I know you love me, Jack, I promise. I never doubt that. But sometimes I don’t understand why you love me. Why you love me when I can be so fucking awful and all over the place and sad randomly for no reason. Do you see that Jack? Do you really see me? What you put yourself through by loving me?” 

Jack’s hand stills and squeezes your thigh again, longer this time, but still at the perfect pressure. He hurts, physically, his heart hurts seeing you like this, hearing your voice and knowing how much you mean what you’re saying. He hates it. He wishes he could take away your pain. But he can’t. All he can do is try to help and try to make you feel a little better and at the very least not let you be alone in it. 

He adjusts his position so that he’s turned toward you a bit more, the side of one of your legs and one of his pressed together. 

“Darling, the way you see and feel about yourself is not the way I see or feel about you. Just like the way I see myself and feel about myself is not the way you see or feel about me. We’re our own worst critics, as fucking cliché as that shit is. And I love you and mean this with all the love in the world, but you’re right. You can be awful at times. But the only person you’re ever awful to is yourself. Like you are right now.” You can feel tears start to form behind your eyes at that. Not because it’s mean and his words have hurt you. Because he’s right and you know it. 

He takes in a deep breath and looks out at the city for a moment before his gaze returns to you. “I don’t put myself through anything by loving you. I’m not burdened by loving you. And of course I see you, I always have,” he says with a heavy conviction. “You think I fell in love with you by accident? Or blindly? With my eyes closed?” 

You swallow thickly, can feel his eyes on you. “No.” Tears sting at your eyes now. “But still. You shouldn’t have to do this with me. I shouldn’t be work. But I am.”  

“Oh honey,” Jack breathes out softly. He takes a second and then shifts, sits a bit further up and grabs your legs, pulls them diagonal a bit and you a little closer so they can rest on top of his and you can look at each other better.   

“I need you to listen to me, yeah? Really listen.” Jack holds your face with his hands, thumbs brushing over your cheekbones for a second while he looks you in the eyes. “Loving you is not the chore that your past has made you think it is.” He squeezes your face a little. “It’s not a chore at all. It’s a fucking privilege.” 

That gets a few tears to slide down your face and Jack’s thumbs are quick to wipe them away.

“And I know you can’t see that, and that you might never be able to see that. But it’s okay, because I do. And I will tell you it over and over and over and over until you understand why Robby tells me nicely to shut the fuck up sometimes.” He gives you the smallest knowing smirk.

You laugh at that, and it’s watery, and through your tears, but it’s real. You love the way he does that. Knows when to instill just enough lightness into this serious of a conversation to keep you grounded and from getting completely overwhelmed, but also knows when it’s not appropriate in a serious conversation. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper through some tears and shrug at him. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Jack whispers back. He leans in and kisses your forehead, lets his lips linger there before pulling them away and resting his forehead against yours.

“You have to repeat this speech a lot.”

“I know.” He says it so matter of fact as he pulls his forehead from yours to look at you better. His hands leave your face and take yours in his, fingers tangling together.

“It makes me feel really bad. Like it’s going to push you away. Or like you’re going to think I don’t trust you or your love or-”

“I don’t think that, nor will I. I understand, baby. I really do. Because I feel the same way sometimes. I don’t care that you need reassurance at times. It doesn’t make me feel like you’re questioning me, or my love, or our love. It doesn’t make me feel like I’m the problem or somehow doing something wrong or not doing enough or anything else. It makes me feel like sometimes your brain’s chemicals get a little fucked up. And you know what? So do mine. I think we’ve had this conversation at least a time or two with the roles reversed. I think you have to repeat a version of the speech I’m giving you right now a lot. And do you care?”

You shake your head gently. “No. I would give you it every day if you needed me to.” 

“Guess what?” he whispers.

“So would you?” You give him a little pout and big doe eyes that show how much you love him and it’s so adorable he has to smile a little.

“Yeah. So would I.”  

He leans back in but this time he gives you a kiss on the lips, lingers just long enough before he breaks it and nuzzles his nose against yours. You keep your eyes closed as he pulls away, a little smile on your face. You open your eyes just in time to see the nearly beaming smile it pulls from Jack. 

The two of you sit there for a few more minutes before you finally turn to look at him. “We should go back.” 

“Yeah?” He raises his eyebrows at you. “We can stay longer.” 

You shake your head. “No, I’m ready.” Jack nods, gently moves your legs off his and stands up before holding both hands out to help you up. 

Instead of taking your hand and starting to walk back though he slips his arms around you, slides his hands in your back pockets and pulls you right up against him by your ass. He raises his eyebrows and smirks a little, a slight bobble of his head when it makes you gasp in surprise. 

His hands leave your pockets and slide up so that they’re wrapped around your waist, keeping you close to him. You rest your hands on his chest, look up at him knowing he wants your eye contact. Jack smiles when you give it to him. 

“I see you. I see all of you. Even the parts you don’t want me to see. The parts you’ll never show anyone else. And I did before I fell in love with you. And I still chose to jump head fucking first into being in love with you and even right now, sitting here in the sad with you, I’d make the same choice without a second thought.” One of his hands comes to hold your jaw, thumb on one side of your chin, his other four fingers on the other side, index finger right in front of your ear and the other three just below your ear and on your neck. “I choose you. All of you. Not just the you that you like and think is good enough. I choose all of you because I love all of you and I know that all of you is more than good enough. I choose you and I will always choose you and I know I’m lucky to get to make that choice. I love you.”

Jack kisses you then, hand tightening just a little to hold you still for him. They’re chaste at first but turn deeper, his tongue running over one of your lips, a silent question. You let your hands run up his chest and over his shoulders before sliding your fingers into his hair, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck and open your mouth for him in silent answer, just enough for him to slip his tongue in and taste you, let you taste him. The taste of you pulls a groan from deep in Jack’s chest and you shiver. You only pull back when you’re desperate for air and Jack chases your lips with his. It makes you giggle.

You can feel him smile against your lips as he rests his forehead against yours again.

“Thank you,” you murmur. “And I choose you too. I love you.”

“I know.” You feel him smile a little wider against your lips before he gives you another kiss. 

You bite your lip as he pulls away, let your eyes open back up slowly to his grin. Jack grabs your hand and leads you back towards the path.

It hits you a few steps in. “You taste like cider.”

“Yeah,” Jack nods.

“You don’t like cider. You don’t drink it.”

“Yeah,” Jack shrugs slightly. “But I was drinking beer and you hate the taste of beer. And I knew I was going to kiss you like that so when you got up from the table I finished off your cider so you wouldn’t taste the beer on me.”

You beam up at him and he just smiles, can feel your happiness. He knows it hasn’t made it all better, that you might still be sad overall, that it might linger for a while.

You walk in a comfortable silence for a minute until you break it. 

“They’re going to think we fucked, probably.” You smirk a little at Jack. 

“You wanna play into it?” He’s so unfazed and stoic about it. So Jack. “I can go grab some little twigs to put in your hair, a leaf, some grass.” 

You burst out laughing. Properly. Fully. Real.

“Twigs?!” For some reason him saying the word twigs is hysterical to you. 

“There’s my favorite sound,” Jack laughs with you. “Well, one of them, anyway.” 

“Oh?” You glance up at him as your laughter trails off. 

“You would have been making another one of my favorite sounds if we had in fact fucked,” he says nonchalantly, swinging your hands a little.

“Oh,” you breathe. You can feel the smirk radiating off him. “Do you have more favorite sounds?”

“Course.” You see him nod out of the corner of your eye. “You saying my name. You saying you love me.” He squeezes your hand. “And the sound of your heartbeat when I rest my head on your chest.” 

You bite your lip at that. It’s so sweet it almost makes your heart ache. “Awwwww!” You squeeze his hand and lean into him. “You’re such a romantic, pookie.” 

“Ha!” The pet name catches him by surprise. “No.” Jack shakes his head at it, but his smile gives him away.

“Pookie is cute!”

“Do you understand the actual level of shit I would get from Robby if he ever heard you call me pookie? I’d have to get a new best friend and a new job.” You giggle at him. “You’re laughing but I’m serious.” 

“I’ll go into work with you one day this week and conspire with Myrna to come up with an even better nickname than fruitcake for Robby if you’ll let me call you pookie sometimes.”

Jack stops walking and looks down at you, pretends to eye you up for a second before giving you a little smirk. “Come up with something really good that’ll drive him up a wall and I’ll consider it.”  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm so sorry but the thought of hearing him say twig just sent me at the time I wrote this. I have no idea why. Anyway, I hope this was okay and you enjoyed and thank you so much for reading!!

You can find my Masterlist here for more Jack! Requests are closed while I catch up, but apparently if you just send in an ask with your thoughts about Jack I may be inspired and write something! I love chatting with you guys and likes/reblogs/replies are super appreciated and motivating!

Tag list: @loveyhoneydovey @love-affair-with-fandoms @mstrsgoodgrl0628 @equallyshaw @kmc1989 @artsymaddie @moonshooter @whiskeyhowlett-writes @smallcarbigwheels @hawkswildfireheart @blackwidownat2814 @yxtkiwiyxt @viridian-dagger @andabuttonnose @beebeechaos @pear-1206 @starkgaryan @travelingmypassion @marvelcasey05 @daydreamingallthetime-world @millenialcatlady @nursejuju86 @escapefromrealitysm @emilia527 @satanxklaus @frazie99 @kastleandmurdock @guardiancardigan @zoctopiii @4rosabellaa @adissapointmentlol @nowandajenn @dantemorenatalie @book-of-roses @redzscare @concentratedconcrete @freshbearbouquetblr @qardasngan @practicalghost @wolviehugh @athena1504 @iamcryingonceagain @acn87 @moonpascal @lostfleurs @beltzboys2015-blog @pouges-world @tinyharrypotterkpopfriend @roseanddaggerlarry @a-stari-night

[hangesfavles]

Cowboy Hange headcanons

6.5K WORDS HOLY SCHMOLY!!!!! NB Hange x afab reader ^_^ <3 i tried keeping it genny nooch but i think hange refers to reader as cowgirl once sorry :(

Summary: i sorta stole the beginning of stardew valley as the intro to this fic helpp ... i also leaned into the idea of sheriff hange bc they’re the 14th commander and allat so i think its cute to imagine them as a sheriff in this au. i love this idea tho i think its so fun save a horse ride hange zoe 

Warnings: brief mention of guns bc Hange is a sheriff, shmuuuuttttt under the border, hair pulling, strap riding B) aka MINORS DNI!!!!!!!!! #hangebackshots

a/n: HIIIIIII THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST OH EM GEE SO EXCITED TO WRITE FOR IT FDSADFGHJHGFD I HOPE U LIKE IT ANON!! Also i'm sorry i feel like this is more like a baby between a full length fic and hcs but it sorta came out like a story, I hope that's ok tho ;( If you guys want more cowboy hange content... i'm gonna shamelessly promote my friend, you can read both southern skies and runaway horses on ao3! I had been actually helping that friend revise southern skies bc i loved the story sm when i first read it. <3 <3 <3 @meetmeinmontauuk

❥Cowboy! Hange was definitely on the fence about you when you first moved into town. The only reason for their suspicion is their previous experience with who they call “city folk.” Their previous encounters with them had been a bit rocky, since life in town was very traditional. Not in a discriminatory way, they just preferred having a hospitable, close-knit community. 

They’re used to city folk coming with an unfriendly attitude towards strangers. They dislike how they tend to prioritize individualism and a faster pace of life. For a while, their wariness seemed deeply ingrained, as if every newcomer carried the same weight of expectation. They sort of felt obligated to be concerned about you as the town’s sheriff. 

❥When the opportunity arose for you to move out of the overwhelming city, out of the shitty studio you pay way too much money for, you practically ran for the hills. 

Despite the things you hated about city life, it’s what you were used to and you know that moving directly into a town this small was going to be a culture shock for you. You found a quaint job as a librarian in a town named Shiganshina, where the headcount barely exceeds triple digits. 

You felt that suited you now that you’re getting older. You’re not as excitable and extroverted as you used to be, now you’re at an age where you’d like to settle down and find a place to spend the rest of your life- which you’ve long decided is not in the bustling city that never sleeps. 

You were happy to find a quiet job where you won’t have to talk to people very often, where the bulk of your day is spent with headphones on as you place books back on their rightful spot on the shelves.  

Now that you have all of your belongings tucked away, all that's left to do is actually commute to your brand new city. It took a draining few hours, but now you’re finally headed into Shiganshina. However, your GPS’ directions are starting to confuse you, leaving you circling the same area about 3 times. 

From what you’ve seen so far, the town seems very cozy. As you drive past the same village you’ve found yourself trapped in, you're only now noticing the comforting scent of freshly baked bread wafting from the local bakery. This town in general smells far better than the smells of the big city you had been previously living in. 

This small southern town holds a charm that's as warm and cozy as the sun-soaked streets that remind you of your childhood days spent playing in the park with whoever you met there that day. 

As you’re making your 4th loop around this same block, you spot a figure in the distance. As you grow closer, you squint your eyes, and- Holy fuck is that person riding a horse in the middle of the street????

This person seems equally confused by your car as you do by their horse. However, you notice their horse trotting towards your car from a distance, causing you to slow down next to them and roll down your window. 

“Hiya. It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone use a car ‘round these parts.” They start with an airy chuckle, their ever so slight southern accent rolling off their tongue with grace. It's the kind of accent that leaves a warm feeling inside you, effortlessly expressing their friendliness and filling you with a sense of belonging, even if you were only passing through. 

This stranger’s face doesn’t really match their tone. Their physical appearance reminds you of the bitter taste of medicine, but their voice is similar to the spoonful of honey used as a chaser to sweeten the former. 

You give them a quick glance up and down, your eyes scanning their outfit consisting of blue jeans and an open flannel, a tank top underneath that defines their lean build. More interestingly, you catch a buckled belt with a holstered pistol attached. “So, you're a fresh face ain’tcha?” 

Despite their weathered features and the weariness etched into every line on their face, their upbeat tone flows with a kind tenderness that catches you off guard. You aren’t going to lie and say you weren’t slightly skeptical after noticing that this person is fully armed. 

“Are you tryna pass through, or are you lookin’ for somethin’ in particular?” They look down at you from their elevated position on their horse. You look up at them with obvious hesitation. 

“Aha... Yeah, I’m supposed to be moving in today, but I’ve been up and down this same block for the past 15 minutes...” You avert your eyes back to your GPS. “Um... Do you happen to know where 93 Willow Lane is?” 

They chuckle at your question, though you’re not sure why. “Yeah, I know my way ‘round town. You’re not gonna find Willow Lane in your car.” They tilt their cowboy hat, having their horse take a step back. They point in front of them, and you stick your head out of the window to see. They’re pointing toward a dirt path in the grass that’s littered with a few stepping stones. 

“You’ll find 93 down that way. Not many people drive in town, we usually prefer walkin’ or biking. Or horse ridin’, in my case. You can’t park right outside, but on the bright side, you should’ve passed the parkin’ garage when you were lost. It’s right around the corner, real close by.” They explain to you with a shining smile. “Go on and park your car. I can help you carry your things inside.”  

❥Cowboy! Hange does exactly that. They carry about 3-4 of your boxes at one time, which helps get the job done a lot faster than you can, since you can only hold the weight of 2 at a time. 

The last trip the two of you make to your car, all you have left to carry in is a small backpack filled with your laptop and some chargers. Hange hops back onto their horse with ease, looking down at you. “You ever ride a horse before? I’ll give you a ride over to your place on ol’ Sawney.” They say, stroking their horses mane affectionately. 

They notice how nervous you seem as you shift on the balls of your feet. “Not really, no... The only non-domestic animals I’ve ever seen are rats... and pigeons.” You say, shifting your eyes from glancing up at Hange to down at Sawney. Your previous life in the city had conditioned you to be wary of animals. One thing you learn quickly is that you should never get too close to an animal, no less touch one. 

They can read the emotions on your face like a book. Not that it was particularly hard to tell that you were nervous. “Aw, c’mon! Sawney won’t hurt’cha. He’s sweet as a peach.” They sing playfully leaning down closer to your height. “I’m not sure I can-” You attempt to create an excuse so that you don’t have to get on the back of this creature, but Hange cuts you off quickly, hopping back down from the animal. “Trust me, of course you can! I’ll even help ya get on. Plus, I’ll be the one steering him behind ya.” 

❥Cowboy! Hange demonstrates to you how to properly get on the horse, stepping into the stirrup and swinging their body over with relative ease. They can tell you’re still nervous, so they get off and hold your waist for support, hoisting you up. Sawney doesn’t seem to be affected at all by your inexperience. “Now look at that! You did just fine. I told you there was nothin’ to worry ‘bout.” They say, patting your shoulder roughly. Despite the way their praise makes your stomach fill with butterflies, you can’t fully appreciate their words due to the anxiety that takes priority over your emotions. You’re shaking like a leaf on top of Sawney, and you have to hold back an embarrassing yelp as they rest their hand on your shoulder.

❥Cowboy! Hange hops on Sawney behind you, as promised. You nervously lean back against their chest as their arms hold the reins in front of you, unintentionally surrounding you. Their chest is pressed up against your back, their thighs on either side of your body. 

For the first few minutes of riding, your hands nervously clutch at their jeans for stability. But the longer you sit atop Sawney- practically cuddled up in this attractive stranger's arms- the anxiety that clouded over your other emotions starts to clear, allowing you to feel embarrassed and meek.

❥Cowboy! Hange notices your discomfort and chuckles softly. "You’re doin’ just fine. Sawney’s a smooth rider. You’ll get used to ridin’ real quick." Their voice is calm and reassuring, and you find yourself gradually relaxing in their presence. The gentle sway of the horse’s movements, combined with the warmth of Hange's body against yours starts to feel oddly soothing for someone you’ve only just met. 

As you travel down the dirt path, the scenery changes from the small town center to more rustic surroundings. The field of vibrant green grass littered with mixed wildflowers stretches far beyond where the small settling of houses reside, making the space seem almost uncanny, but also dreamlike. 

Hange rides right up to the front of your new house with ease, getting themself off the horse first in order to help you get down. After successfully making sure you don’t fall off of Sawney, you thank them. They grab the rim of their hat and give you a slight nod. “Anytime.” They say with an award winning smile. 

You play with your fingers, picking at your fingernails as you work up the courage to ask them a question. “Um... The house is pretty empty, but would you like to come in for a while?” You ask them, looking up from your fingers to give them a smile in return. “Sure, why the hell not?” They shrug their shoulders, their lighthearted demeanor contradicting everything you originally assumed about them.

❥Cowboy! Hange inquires about your life before moving here. You tell them all about how you grew up in the city, what life there is like, and how you felt like you had to get out. In turn, Hange tells you about what life was like growing up on a farm in the same town you’ve just moved into. How they used to play in the dirt, throwing worms at other kids and going out at night to try and grab frogs. 

The two of you made yourselves comfortable on the small couch in your living room; regardless of the fact that the house came with little furniture, you already feel yourself falling in love with the place.

❥Cowboy! Hange truly enjoys the conversation you share, despite their reservations about people from out of town. They find you to be much kinder and soft spoken in comparison to the others they’ve met. They aren’t sure why, but they feel drawn to you in a unique way. However, they’ll chalk it up to the fact the two of you are getting along quickly and they make a note to stop by again to have another chat.

"Welcome to Shiganshina," Hange says, their smile as warm as the sunlight streaming through the windows. "If you need help movin’ in or anything, don’t hesitate to holler. We’re a tight-knit community here, so if you can’t find me, I’m sure someone else’ll come runnin’. I have a feelin’ you’ll fit right in." 

❥Cowboy! Hange tends to stroll around in town on their horse when the days are warm. They don’t technically need to, the station would simply call them if they were needed, but it’s something they enjoy regardless of their position as sheriff. 

On a particularly warm day with the sun hanging bright in the sky, you decided to use your day off to spend some time outside and hopefully get your vitamin d levels up. So, you decided to take a stroll through the local park. You’ve seen it in passing, and it’s full of life and shrubbery and flowers you hadn’t gotten the chance to see or appreciate in the city. 

A short while after you enter the park, you see a few groups of people already there. It starts to make you feel self conscious that everyone here showed up with a friend, family member or partner, but you had no one alongside you. Lucky for you, Hange also seized the opportunity to stroll around outdoors.

Hange sees you from afar as their other horse Bean trots along the sidewalk. They had an inner debate with themself over if they should approach you, but their insecurities were tossed aside when they noticed that your form is rigid and you’re picking at your fingers nervously. 

They smile to themself because they understand why you would feel uncomfortable in a situation like your own, moving into a small town out of the blue where everyone already knows each other. They’re familiar with the feeling of awkwardness, even if they’ve lived here their whole life. 

Despite having been raised in Shiganshina, they also sometimes feel out of place compared to other residents. For a while now, they’ve been feeling out of place with all of the budding romance in town. It feels to them that everyone they know is in a serious relationship or married, but they haven’t even been interested in anyone for what feels like forever.

It’s not that they never wanted or expected to fall in love, it was just something that hadn’t happened for them yet. After being alone for so long, they had kind of gotten used to it. Hange had resigned themself to the idea that maybe they were meant to be alone. But now, seeing you standing there with a nervous demeanor, butterflies stirred within their stomach, only confirming the feelings of affection already forming for you. 

Once they get closer to you, they tap your shoulder. “Howdy, sugar. You’re stickin’ out like a sore thumb.” They say, giving you a smile and reaching for your wrist. They lead you and Bean towards a free bench, closeby to a lake. You can’t help but chuckle at how quickly they saved you from your own embarrassment. In a moment of confidence, you slip your wrist out of their grip, instead opting to hold their hand. 

The sound of the keys jangling from their carabiner as their legs move catches your attention. You’d never thought the clanging of metal would sound so much like home. Maybe you’re just romanticizing the situation, but it sounds musical, like wind chimes in a storm. As they sit next to you, you’re hit with the smell of freshly cut grass with hints of amber that you can enjoy even over the earthy smell of the lake in front of you. 

They lean forward on the bench, their knees spread apart and their arms resting against their thighs. They tilt their head your way. “So, how’s the town been treatin’ you so far? Ya like it?” Their kindness and concern makes your heart warm. You smile, the corners of your mouth curving upward. “It's been a big adjustment, obviously. But everyone’s been kind so far. It's... peaceful, quiet. Different from what I'm used to, but in a good way.”

You can see the smile reflecting in their eyes without even looking at their lips. Their crows feet are prominent whenever their lips upturn. "I can only ‘magine. But you seem to be holdin��� up just fine."

You glance at the murky lake in front of you, the water about as clear as the cup of coffee you had this morning. Despite this, the surface glimmers faintly under the sun all the same, giving the scene the feel of a landscape painting. 

“I think everyone already has grown on me. The few I’ve met at least. My neighbor even brought by some fresh cookies and bread.” You say, recalling the surprise you felt. The lady that dropped by can hardly even be considered your neighbor, as there’s at least a 3 minute walk between your houses. “This place is charming. It's starting to feel homey, though I still get lost sometimes.” You chuckle lightly, raising your hand to cover your smile. 

“Yeah, Shiganshina's got that effect on folks. It ain't fast-paced like the city, but there's plenty’a heart here. I'm glad you're feelin' welcomed.”

You take a deep breath, trying to ignore the buzzing of your nerves as you attempt to hold this conversation. “And you? You seem to know everyone around here. Must be nice.”

Hange chuckles softly, a hint of thoughtfulness in their eyes. They lightly shake their head in disagreement. “Ain't always easy, bein' the sheriff. Knowin' everyone means knowin' their business, the good, bad, and ugly. But it's home, ya know? Can't imagine bein' anywhere else.”

You chuckle lightly at their response, “I can’t imagine you being anywhere else either.” You tease, giving them a coy smile, to which they give you a playfully disapproving look in response. “I understand that, though. I felt like that for a while too before I actually moved. Since I grew up in the city, I was used to the lifestyle and never wanted to deal with a big change.” 

Hange's expression softens from their previous one. "Yeah, I ain’t a big fan of it either," they admit, their tone contemplative and thoughtful. “I’m not an adventurous type. But sometimes a big change can end up being the best for us.”

You look at them with a certain tenderness while you process their wise words. You feel like you have to agree. Moving to Shiganshina had seemed daunting at first, but it brought you a fresh perspective on life. 

Their tight-knit community was beginning to offer you a sense of belonging and you never knew how much you would enjoy it. The slower pace of Shiganshina allowed for more meaningful connections between everyone you knew. At this point, you’ve known Hange for less than a month, and you feel like you’ve had significantly more meaningful conversations with them in comparison to most of your old friends.

Hange interrupts your train of thought as they continue with their sentence. “I hope this move was the best for you. I don't usually warm up quickly to people I've just met.” As you look up to meet their eyes, you swear that they have a certain sparkle. “So, what I’m sayin’ is that there’s somethin’ I like about you. It's not every day that I meet someone like you. It's... nice.” 

At the moment, you’re not exactly sure how to respond to their abrupt vulnerability. Not because you’re uncomfortable- it’s exactly the opposite. You understand what they mean because you feel the same. 

They clear their throat awkwardly, realizing that they might’ve left you feeling at a loss for words. “I just hope we get to know each other better ‘nd all.” They add in a rushed tone. “Oh, would you look at that,” You start to smile due to how fast they try to change the topic, but refrain from laughing. 

“Bean’s gettin��� antsy for some exercise!” They chuckle nervously, getting up from the bench and patting Bean’s backside. They expertly avoid eye contact with you as you follow their actions, getting up from your seat as well. You part your lips to say something to fill the air, but you hear the clearing of Hange’s throat before any sounds come out. “How about you try ridin’ again? By yourself this time.” Their eyes find your own when they ask, making it your turn to dodge eye contact. “Ahhh... Um, I dunno.” You scratch at the back of your neck awkwardly. “I don’t think I’m ready to do it by myself...” 

“Psssh. Nonsense.” That was the last thing you heard before you felt Hange’s strong hands take hold of your waist, lifting you up on Bean with ease. 

You start defensively stuttering “H-Hold on, wait, I-” you scramble. Before you know it, you’re on top of another horse against your wishes. Hange laughs at your skittishness, patting your back similarly to the first time you hopped on Sawney. “You’ll be fine, Bean is a good boy. His rides are a bit more shakey than Sawney, though. But don’t worry, if anything goes wrong I’ll be there to catch’ya. Promise.” They say, looking up at you with such a sweet smile… Fuck, you just can’t deny them when they’re so charming. 

❥You and Cowboy! Hange spent a few hours together at the park. You rode on their horse for what felt like forever but was actually only 45 minutes. Hange insists that you’re a natural but you’re positive that you’re performing lower than the average person, they’re just too nice to say anything about it. 

You two also spent time walking around the perimeter of the lake, watching the owners that let their dogs run free, and best of all, just talking to each other. Being so close to them and watching their facial expressions shift was comforting. You try your best to commit this day to memory by combing all of their features with your eyes over and over.

❥Cowboy! Hange walks you back to your house, Bean strolling at their side. When you both finally reach your front door, you suddenly don’t know what to say. Neither of you truly wants to leave, you can both feel the strings of fate pulling you together, but the night is slipping away, and the reality weighs on both of you. 

Hange shifts on their feet, glancing at you with that familiar sparkle in their eyes, as if they too are searching for the right words. You chuckle, rubbing the back of your neck. “Guess this is goodnight, huh?” Hange grins, but there’s an unspoken promise to be found within it. “For now,” they say, lingering just a moment longer before turning to hop on Bean. 

You watch them, nibbling on the inside of your cheek. Just when you’re about to retreat into your home, their voice causes you to turn your head back to them. “Um… Would it be alright if I stopped by tomorrow? ‘Round this time?” They ask hopefully, bashfully averting their eyes from their reigns to your face. You smile broadly, trying to hide it but inevitably failing. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be here.” You say, trying not to sound too giddy. 

You can’t tell how well you mask your emotions, because you feel like a dog that’s just been told it’s going for a walk. Thank god you don’t have a tail, or it would be wagging wildly. 

Parting ways with them didn’t feel nearly as bad when the promise of reconvening was stuck in your mind like a song that you can’t stop listening to.

❥Cowboy! Hange has a plan. They had an inkling from your first interaction- sitting on your couch and chattering away- that they had a fondness for you. Your run-in at the park only reinforced the feelings that were already present. They knew they wanted to do something special for the next time they’d come by your house.

❥Cowboy! Hange woke up bright and early before their shift at the station to buy a small bundle of flowers from a small shop downtown. The shop was run by a girl with brown hair, tied up into a ponytail with a heavy accent, even more so than them. They think her name was Sasha, if they’re remembering correctly. Hange had a good chuckle from the girl nearly jumping out of her seat as they walked in, a loaf of bread between her jaws whilst ringing them up.

You can’t help but anticipate and daydream of Hange’s arrival from the moment your eyes open until you’re released from your shift at the library. You feel embarrassed by how eagerly you listen to any noise that might be slightly akin to a knock upon the door. You feel like the embodiment of a schoolgirl doodling hearts and initials over their notes. 

When you finally hear the soft rapping of their knuckles against the door, you nearly open the door within the same 5 seconds. You stare at the doorknob for a bit, to avoid seeming like you were waiting for them… Even though you were.

You’re not disappointed when you finally turn the lock and twist the knob. 

❥Cowboy! Hange becomes hyper aware of the dampness settling in their palms as they hear the distinct click of the lock and subtle creak from the door. Their face is partially obscured by the flowers they’re holding up as an attempt to hide their blush. They clear their throat, still peeking from above the bundle of flowers. “So, um… I did some thinking. I figured, why beat around the bush?” They say, practically thrusting the flowers into your hands. “Whaddya say we head out for dinner tonight?” Their lopsided grin charming you more than you thought possible. 

❥Dating Cowboy! Hange is nothing short of a dream. For someone with such little experience with romance and lovey-dovey affections, they are oddly suave. 

Like the town you both live in, they tend to be traditional in the ways in which they treat you. They always have to be the one to pay. They always walk you to your door, all the way. They’re always trying to be chivalrous. They bring you flowers and gifts routinely. They kill bugs for you. 

But of course that’s nothing to look down upon, how could you not be absolutely swooning over them? 

❥Cowboy! Hange decided to fully commit to the idea of teaching you how to ride a horse on your own.

It took plenty of getting used to. At least by the time you two actually started dating you already had some experience.

Warm days were spent atop Sawney or Bean, the horses moving at a relaxed pace, smooth and unhurried around the large open field surrounding your house.

After riding on your own more than a few times, you finally decided you were ready to venture away from your yard and onto actual roads. They were proud of you, you had gone from being absolutely horrified even standing next to their horses, and now you’re riding them on the open road.

You two decided to head to Hange’s house, since you had realized that you hadn’t been there yet by pure coincidence. It had always been easy for Hange to ride over to your house quickly for surprise visits, dinner dates, movie nights, and any other times you two just wanted to see each other.

Once you two arrived, Hange got off their horse first, stepping down to help you dismount as well. Even though your skills were rapidly growing, the one thing you had trouble with was properly getting off. You think too hard about startling the horse that you always trip and inelegantly wobble on your feet to find balance.

Hange strides over to you, hands beginning to lift in order to dismount you, but before they can you decide to try your luck at impressing them by dismounting on your own. You remind yourself that confidence is what you need, hopping off quickly is easier than trying to slowly climb down.

You hop down with ease, landing flat on your feet without stumbling. Their eyes light up with surprise, their open mouth turning up into a smile. Still, before they say anything, you snatch the hat from on top of their head, gracefully placing it atop your hair. “Looks like I’m a real cowboy now. Or do I need to lasso a bull first for the full cowboy certification?” You say with a cheeky smirk gracing your face. 

They weren’t prepared for the sight in front of them, their cheeks warming up at your display of ego. “Well look at that,” Hange drawls, eyes twinkling. They can’t help the swarm of less than pure thoughts that fly through their mind. “You know what they say, cowgirl. If you wear a cowboy's hat, you have to ride the cowboy.” 

Of course, everything Hange does has to have an air of tenderness, and of adoration.

They take your hand as they lead you inside, kissing it before letting go. With the swiftness and ease of ink flowing from a pen, they lift you up as if you weigh nothing. And naturally, they navigate your body as if they had written it themself. 

However, once they have you in their arms they toss you onto their bed unceremoniously, as if you’re nothing more than something to conquer. The hat flies off of your head and in a random direction that you don’t currently care to take note of.

In an instant, their lips are trailing along your neck, a soft sigh of joy passing through your lips. Having them on top of you makes you feel all-consumed by them and their affections.

Their hands are placed on your hips, slowly sliding up beneath your shirt, bunching it up as their hands continue moving. They glance up at you, making sure it’s alright to continue.

You give them a soft smile, grabbing one of their hands and continuing to pull them upwards. This causes them to chuckle at your eagerness and proceed to remove your shirt, leaving you in just your bra.

They decide not to remove your bra, enjoying the idea of being half dressed. With your blanket permission, they also strip your bottom half of your pants. You can’t help but feel a bit shy since you’re the only one undressed.

Hange starts to back up on the bed, starting to kiss you again, this time on your stomach and hips. You softly lock your fingers in their hair, carefully pulling away their ponytail.

Their hair tickles your stomach as it drops to frame their face. They are undeterred by this, even as you bring your dominant hand back towards their head to hold on to a patch of hair.

Once they get their fill of kissing you, they move their attention to your clothed pussy. They lightly brush their tongue up your slit, not bothering to move your underwear. 

They’re nothing if not slow and teasing. Their tongue is going at a painfully slow pace and pressure. They keep teasing your slit up and down, purposely leaving your clit ignored. It’s fucking torture and they know it. 

Once you start to get teary eyed and squirmy, they finally drag their tongue over your clothed clit ever so slowly. After finally having the stimulation you need, your leg muscles twitch beside their head, barely restraining yourself from pushing your hips against them as much as possible. 

You thought you were now free from their torturous teasing. You thought. It couldn’t have been any longer than 2 minutes before they pulled back, getting up from the bed entirely. You almost allow the tears building in your eyes to fall, until you see them start to remove their own clothes. 

Your eyes are fully glued to their form as they undress. Their chest is relatively small and perky, so they didn’t feel a need to wear a bra or binder today. This means you’re quickly met with their bare skin. 

They look towards you, feeling your eyes practically burning a hole through them. They chuckle at your focus on them. “Impatient?” They say with a grin playing on their face. In response to their question, you roll your eyes before giving them an unamused look. “…A’right.” They say, getting the message that if they keep teasing you that you would probably burst into flames…

With a quicker pace, they pull on their harness over their boxers, securing their strap into it.

Their strap is pretty standard definition. It’s average sized for a dildo, about 7 inches. A solid black color. Veiny and phallic shaped. 

When they head back over to you, they press their lips into your own. Lovingly at first, but quickly it turns heated and fervent. 

Their hands travel to your lower back, lifting you up by it and flipping you backwards.

Once their strap begins to settle inside you, you realize why they had been so kind before. Because they won’t be so forgiving now.

They grab a handful of your hair as they start to thrust into you more, having been prepped by their tongue prior. 

They aren’t too cruel, they start slow as to not hurt you, but within the blink of an eye your neck is craning backwards from their hold on your hair, their hips roughly bumping against your ass.

Fuck. It hurts, but it’s better than any pain you can imagine. The feeling of them inside of you, reaching deeper than you’re used to… you’re surprised you’re not seeing stars. 

Hange cranes your neck just a bit more so that they can lean in to whisper into your ear. You’re sure that they said something, but you’re not coherent enough to truly process it. The slight feeling of pain from your hair tugging at your head paired with the pace of their hips is making you delirious.

Their free hand slides across your hip, slinking around your stomach to circle your clit. Because of this you’re panting hard and crying out their name weakly and it doesn’t take much longer for you to cum. 

They slow their pace as you ride out your orgasm, changing from rough and fast to slow and more deep. They release their hold on your hair and you realize your arms feel weak, causing you to nose dive into the pillow below you.

They giggle softly at you and carefully pull their strap out and turn you over. You look up at them with a smile, wrapping your arms around their shoulders and pulling them closer. 

They smile as well as they hover over you. “I didn’t hurt’cha, right?” They ask with slight nervousness. With a teasing look you say “Not too badly, at least.”

“Ahh, you’ve got jokes.” They tease, dipping their head to kiss your neck. That shuts you up quickly. 

It’s your turn to run your fingers in their hair, which you do, tilting your head up so they have more skin to take advantage of.

And they don’t let the opportunity pass them by. Their lips travel to your collarbone, sucking a mark in a modest area. They may have the libido of a teen boy, but they don’t want to bring that type of embarrassment to either of you.

They continue to wind you up as slowly and teasingly as possible. Your patience is running thinner than paper, so you wrap your leg around their side, pushing them under you. 

Their expression of slight shock and pure wonder is priceless. “This was technically the deal, wasn’t it? Riding the cowboy.” You chuckle. 

They stare up at you owlishly, their hands grazing your thighs and sliding to your hips. They guide you back on their strap slowly. 

You didn’t expect to feel so full in this position. Your fingers dig into their shoulders as you use your legs to move up and down. You also didn’t realize how strenuous this would be. Shit, maybe it’s time to hit the gym.

You don’t let the burn in your legs deter you, especially not when Hange is below you, looking at you as if you crafted the earth and heavens just for them. 

Thankfully it becomes easier to ignore when the burning in your stomach outweighs the sensation in your legs. 

You feel like a ghost of yourself, watching distantly as a ragdoll shaped like you tries to chase release. The only thing keeping you grounded at the moment is the visibility of Hange’s enjoyment. It’s surprisingly motivating.

Their hands are everywhere. On your hips, thighs, back, chest, shoulders… They can’t get enough of your soft skin paired with your undivided attention. “Fuck…” They mumble with a chuckle under their breath. 

You’re so close, and hearing their soft curse only brings you closer. The heat in your center is almost unbearable as you sigh and moan tiredly. 

They notice your lethargy and decide to help you out. They get a strong hold on your waist and start thrusting upwards to give your legs a bit of a break.

“You look so good like this, sugar. Keep going.” They say as they pull you closer in their hold, their chin resting on your chest as they gaze straight up at you.

With their encouragement and aid of their hips, you cum hard. Your head lolls back as you continue to ride out your orgasm on their lap. They keep their hands on your hips as they fuck their strap into you, their grip tight and slightly bruising. “That’s it… just like that.” They mumble to you. You lift yourself off of their lap, slumping down beside them tiredly. 

They pull off their harness, flopping beside you in bed. Their arms pull you into their warm, comforting embrace, their head resting against your own. They whisper praises in your ear until you drift off to sleep.

You’re a bit disoriented when you wake up. You sit up and realize you aren’t in your own bed, the memory of events invading your mind seconds after. Only problem is that you don’t see Hange. You’re sure they’re still here, it is their house after all, but you still feel a bit sad that their presence wasn’t beside you. 

You step out of bed and feel the weakness in your legs immediately. You grab your discarded clothes before carefully wobbling out of their room at a slow pace, as if you’re learning how to walk for the first time again. You definitely need to hit the StairMaster after this. 

When you step out of their bedroom, you see them attempting to cook you dinner. It’s nothing particularly special, just a panini and some french fries, but you can see how concentrated they are as they try their best to ensure the panini won’t burn. 

They hear the pattering of your bare feet against the floor, which causes them to look over their shoulder. “Hi darlin’. I’m making dinner, you should head back to bed to rest. I’m sorry if I went a little too rough.” 

(Almost) always the gentleman. You walk over and wrap your arms around their waist, leaning against their broad chest. “It’s alright. It was worth the soreness.” You assure them quietly. Their arms drape over your shoulders, one hand stroking your hair while the other rubs your back lightly.

“If you say so.” They say, kissing your forehead. You stay like this for a while, listening to the thumping of their heart as you rest against them. Everything about their presence is soothing, whether they’re touching you or not. And when they add touch to the equation? Forget about it. You could probably fall asleep standing up. 

You only lift your head from their chest as you feel a tingle in your nose. You sniff a few times before looking up at them. “Do you smell that?” You ask.

Hange stiffens in your hold, turning around to see smoke coming from the sandwich they were making you. The sight of the grey puffs trailing up to the ceiling causes them to spring into action, to remove the sandwich before a fire starts. “Shit!-”

<3 i’m sorry this took literally like 10 months to come out i’ve been busy with work and college since i’m nearing the end of my undergrad degree…. what da hail. i hope it was worth the wait cus im pretty happy with how this turned out!!!!

[writinginatree]

Can We Keep Her?

Relationship(s): Xaden Riorson & sister!reader, Xaden Riorson & Bodhi Durran & Garrick Tavis

Summary: How a ten year old Xaden found a little girl abandoned in the woods and brought her home to be his sister.

Warnings: References to past child abuse/neglect, child abandonment, reader has selective mutism

Written for @empyreanevents's Tyrrendor Week Day 6: Family. (Posted a few days late because this ended up being more than twice as long as planned)

AO3

The forest where they found you was more than an hour on horseback from Aretia, which was why it wasn't very often that they went there to play, despite how much Xaden loved it. In hindsight, he thinks it must have been fate that he, Garrick, and Bodhi were there that day, in the right place at the right time to happen upon you.

The first time they saw you, they only caught a glimpse of you; a small figure curled up on a soft patch of moss one second, darting off into the trees the next. They simply shrugged it off, too focused on their game of catch to dwell on it. If he had thought about it, Xaden simply would have assumed you had come to the forest with your family for a picnic or to pick berries, wandered a little ways off to take a nap in the sun, and ran back to your parents when the boys' loud playing woke you. By the time they returned home, Xaden had as good as forgotten about it.

But a few days later, they saw you again, and this time, you didn't run. They quickly realized why — you'd gotten so tangled up in a raspberry bush that you probably weren't able to get free without help.

You squirmed as they tied their horses to a nearby tree and approached you, eyes wide with fear and following their every move. In your effort to get away, you only ensnared yourself further in the brambles, thorns tearing at your clothes and bare arms.

"Easy, kid," Garrick said as the three of them stopped a few feet away from you, speaking in the same tone one might use to calm a skittish horse. "We just want to help you."

You stopped struggling at the words, gaze fixed on Garrick. Still, that fear remained on your face, making Xaden wonder just how you had ended up in this position. Had someone been chasing you? A wild animal frightened you?

He could ask while they freed you, he decided, taking a step closer with his hands held up to show you his empty palms. Eyes meeting yours, he put all the friendliness he could in his gaze, tried to appear as non-threatening as possible.

Bodhi and Garrick followed, moving just as slowly.

Close enough to start disentangling you, Xaden thought he heard a faint whimper and froze, his hand inches away from the brambles around your arm. Glancing at your face, you were breathing hard, eyes squeezed shut as if bracing for something painful. Another whimper followed, just as quiet, but this time Xaden was sure he heard it.

Softly, he said, "We're not going to hurt you. If you hold still, I think we can get you free without the thorns scratching you much, okay?"

You showed no reaction, but at least you kept still.

Xaden figured that was close enough to permission to help you; after all, they couldn't just leave you like this. They hadn't seen anyone else around, either, no adult you might belong with, who might do a better job of calming you. The fact struck Xaden as strange, since you seemed awfully little to be roaming the woods all by yourself, but he ignored that for now, focusing instead on getting you out of that bush.

With the three of them working together, it didn't take as long as Xaden had feared. Soon he could pick you up under the arms, Bodhi and Garrick pulling away the last of the brambles wrapped around your ankle.

Though you were heavier than you looked, Xaden could feel every single rib beneath his hands. He didn't know much about younger kids — his friends and closer acquaintances were all around his own age, a year or two younger at most — but he doubted your bones were supposed to be protruding like that. No more than five or six years old at the very most by Xaden's unskilled estimate, you should have still had some of that baby fat that made every toddler he had ever seen appear soft and chubby.

Underfed; that was what you were.

Taking a couple steps backward to make sure you were a safe distance from the tangle of raspberries, Xaden carefully set you back on your feet.

You still hadn't spoken a single word, had shown no indication you'd even heard the stream of questions and chatter the boys had tried to distract you with while they freed you. At least you had opened your eyes again.

"What were you even doing out here all alone?" Xaden asked again.

Just like before, you didn't answer, only continued to watch them.

With those too-skinny legs and wide, fearful eyes, you reminded Xaden of a fawn ready to bolt any moment.

"Where are your parents? Should we help you look for them?" Garrick tried.

When the result remained the same, he frowned, stepping closer to Xaden to whisper, "Do you think she's deaf, maybe?"

Xaden shrugged. You looked like you were listening when they spoke, eyes darting between them. Still, he repeated his earlier question to you in sign language, just in case.

No reaction.

Garrick crossed his arms, his frown deepening. "Great, so she doesn't understand us. What are we supposed to do with her now?"

"You don't know if she understands us or not," Xaden argued. "Maybe she just can't answer. Or doesn't want to."

He thought you might simply be too scared to talk to them, but didn't see any point in saying so. It didn't matter why you weren't speaking. Even if you were capable of words, it was your own decision whether or not to use them.

"Anyway it's mean to talk about her like she's not there," Bodhi interrupted. Before they could react, he leaned down to your height and asked, "Do you understand us?"

You nodded, the movement so small Xaden almost missed it.

It didn't surprise him at all that his cousin was the one to finally elicit a reaction from you. He was quieter than Xaden and Garrick, and preferred to trail after the older boys rather than make friends of his own, but he got along with just about everyone, was liked by everyone.

Even as he threw a I told you so-glare at them over his shoulder, he still looked friendly.

"Okay, Mr. Child-Whisperer," Garrick said, rolling his eyes, "but that doesn't help us figure out what to do now."

Garrick was right about that. They still didn't know how you'd ended up stuck in those brambles, why you were alone in the woods, where your family was and whether you needed help to find your way back to them. Without getting answers out of you, they couldn't decide what to do, and it was late afternoon already, so they would have to head home soon.

Xaden sat down in a crouch before you. If he made himself smaller than you, maybe you would be less intimidated. With yes or no questions, they should be able to figure out what they could do for you.

And yes — though still hesitant, you answered at least some of the questions they asked with nods or shakes of your head. Yes, you were alone. No, you hadn't been running from anyone or anything when you got tangled in the raspberries. No, you did not want them to look for your parents. No, nobody was coming to pick you up.

When Bodhi asked if you wanted them to take you to the nearby village where they assumed you must have come from, you shook your head again, but didn't let on whether that guess was correct or not.

Xaden suggested one of them should ride there to ask if anyone was missing a little girl while the other two remained with you, but you shook your head, more frantically this time.

Once again, Xaden wondered what you were so frightened of. Someone from the village, maybe?

"Okay, okay," Xaden placated. "No going to the village. Got it."

Indeed, you calmed at that.

"But we'll have to go home soon, you see. We could take you home first, but we'd have to know where it is to do that."

No reply to that, not even a shrug.

Out of ideas, the boys shared a helpless look.

You weren't acting like you were lost — or at least not how Xaden thought a small child who was lost would act. Though you still seemed on guard, you had relaxed a little, as if getting used to their presence. As strange as the situation was, nothing about your behavior suggested you needed help. What Xaden had interpreted as fear might have well been simple shyness, and if you needed help, surely you would have given them a sign of it. Even if you were unable or unwilling to communicate what exactly was wrong, you would have surely shown signs of distress at their mention of having to leave — would have started crying, or grabbed for them.

Maybe there was a perfectly harmless explanation — maybe one or both of your parents were woodsmen, maybe they had a cottage nearby that the boys didn't know of, and the reason you hadn't wanted Xaden to go into the village was simply that it would have been unnecessary since you didn't belong there. If you were used to the woods, it might not be so strange for you to be left unsupervised here for so long; how would he know?

Xaden tried to make himself believe that story, but only half succeeded. You looked dirty and tired — much more so than being stuck in those raspberries could explain. Like you'd been wandering though the forest for days.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked. "If we leave you here?"

You nodded — not very convincingly, Xaden thought, but calling you a liar wouldn't change anything, so he kept his mouth shut. They had no choice but to go home and hope you really would be okay.

As they rode back to Aretia, Xaden's thoughts kept drifting back to you. He felt bad leaving you behind like they had, but what else could they have done? Kidnapped you? Stayed out until nightfall, making their own parents worry? They had lingered as long as they could. If they were late for supper, his dad or aunt might decide not to let them ride this far again anytime soon, and Xaden was determined to return the next day, to see if you would be there again and make sure you were alright. Fortunately it was the weekend, and Garrick was staying over at their place.

"Do you think the girl made it home?" Bodhi broke the heavy silence as they neared Riorson House.

"Hopefully," Xaden replied, glad he wasn't the only one who couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Do you think we should tell Mom or your dad? They could send someone to make sure she's okay. An adult, I mean."

Xaden considered it for a moment, then shook his head. "There's no point when we don't know if anything is actually wrong. We'll go back to check on the girl ourselves tomorrow."

Maybe it was selfish of him, but they were the ones who'd found you and earned a fraction your trust. If his father sent guards to look for you, they would only scare you. Likely as not, you would run and hide from them, as you had ran when the boys first saw you a few days ago. And if you really did live in the forest with your family, all the fuss would be for nothing.

"She's probably fine," Garrick said. "She didn't look like she minded when we left."

Xaden nodded. You had seemed content to remain in the woods.

He still didn't like it.

"I wish we knew her name," he changed the topic. "Then we could ask around if anyone knows her. And it's stupid having to call her the girl."

"Yeah, well, she wasn't exactly talkative."

"What if we call her Raspberry?" Bodhi suggested.

"We are not calling her raspberry."

"We have to call her something, though," his cousin insisted. "You just said it's stupid having to call her the girl."

"That doesn't mean we have to give her some ridiculous nickname. If we see her again tomorrow, we'll try if we can get her to tell us her actual name."

"If she can," Garrick added. "What do you think, is she mute?"

"I dunno. When we first got close to her, I'm pretty sure she whimpered."

Bodhi nodded. "And once or twice it looked like she wanted to say something, but then got too scared."

"Maybe she's got that thing you have, Bodhi." Xaden couldn't remember what it was called. "You know, where the words just won't come out sometimes."

It was something his cousin had struggled with a lot when he first started school, but thanks to therapy, it didn't seem to be as much of a problem anymore.

"Yeah, maybe."

The next day, they ate a rushed breakfast, saddled their horses and rode out to look for you, leaving the house even before their parents.

When they reached the tangle of raspberry bushes, you weren't there. Nor did they find you in the clearing where they'd first glimpsed you. Xaden didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. If you were safe at home it would be good, but what if you were still wandering around somewhere? The forest was big, and you could have been anywhere inside it.

Even when Garrick and Bodhi started to grumble, saying you clearly weren't there anymore, he insisted they keep looking. After an hour and a half, doubt crept in. Maybe his friends were right, and he was chasing them through the woods for nothing. Even if you had been lost, your family would have found you by now and you were probably at home, telling your friends about your adventure.

Xaden didn't want to admit he was wrong, though. Stubbornly ignoring the increasingly exasperated glances passing between Bodhi and Garrick, he led his horse deeper into the forest.

His persistence payed off.

There you were, sitting by a small stream that trickled through the trees. You still wore the clothes from the day before, dirty and ripped from the thorns in places. Your face was still dirty too, Xaden noted as you turned to face them. Surprise shone in your eyes to see them, but you remained where you sat, didn't tense in fear. They really had earned some of your trust, then.

"Hi Raspberry," Bodhi greeted you.

Xaden elbowed his cousin, but you only blinked at the nickname, lifting a hand. It wasn't quite a wave, but close enough.

You seemed livelier than the day before, more open.

Xaden hoped that meant they'd be able to get some answers from you today somehow. He didn't think you were old enough to know how to write, but had brought a notepad and pencil all the same. Maybe you could draw them an explanation, if you weren't comfortable communicating any other way.

The boys sat down in the grass near you so the four of you formed a loose circle. Close to you, but not close enough to invade your space or make you feel cornered.

"What's your name?" Xaden asked after telling you his own and those of his companions, which he'd realized this morning they'd completely forgotten to do yesterday.

He was prepared for more of that silence, but to his surprise, you actually answered — so softly he almost didn't catch it, but you did answer.

"So she can speak!" Garrick shouted excitedly.

You flinched at the volume, and Xaden glared at his best friend, hissing at him not to be an ass.

Garrick had the decency to wince. "Sorry."

"What were you doing?" Bodhi wanted to know from you, but only received a shrug in answer.

Nothing, then.

"Did you go home last night?" Xaden asked.

You blinked, head cocked to the side, almost as if to say you didn't have such a thing.

Xaden tried again, rewording the question. "Did you sleep out here?"

When you nodded, he swallowed hard. They shouldn't have left you, should have tried harder to figure out how to help you. Should have told their parents about you like Bodhi had suggested.

"Why?" Garrick asked. "Are you lost?"

Inexplicably, you shook your head.

Xaden, Bodhi, and Garrick shared a confused look. If you weren't lost, then why in Amari's name would you be sleeping in the woods?

When Garrick asked as much, you only shrugged.

"Did you run away from home?"

You shook your head.

It didn't make sense. In fairy-tales like the ones Xaden's mother had read him when he'd been younger, children might live alone in the woods, raised by wolves or watched over by tree ghosts, but in real life, things like that weren't possible. In real life, the woods would be creepy and lonely at night. In real life, there were no friendly ghosts to keep an abandoned child from starving. In real life, there was no motherly love that might drive a wolf or bear to adopt a tiny human that somehow wandered into their territory. In real life, mothers left without explaining why they didn't love you anymore.

Xaden stilled, thoughts scratching to a stop.

Abandoned children, mothers that left... Could that be what had happened? A child being cast into the woods by their parents was another thing he would have assumed only happened in stories, but maybe he was wrong about that. It would explain why you were alone out here, why you hadn't wanted them to help you look for your parents.

"But you slept out here all alone, right?" Bodhi's voice interrupted his thoughts.

This time, you nodded, and his cousin asked, "Weren't you scared?"

Only another shrug at that. It seemed you really didn't like to speak; since telling them your name, you hadn't said a single word.

"How long have you been out here?" Xaden asked, dreading the answer.

You lifted your hand, hesitated, then held up four fingers — like you weren't entirely sure of the answer.

"Four days?"

A verbal answer this time, barely above a whisper. "Think so."

Xaden let out a curse his father would have probably grounded him for if he heard him say it. Four days alone in this forest. Maybe more, since you weren't certain of your count. Now he understood why you looked so dirty and exhausted.

Bodhi and Garrick also seemed alarmed, and Xaden knew they were all thinking the same thing: They were not leaving this forest without you today. Somehow, they would help you.

"Isn't there anyone who misses you?" Xaden pushed. "Someone who might be searching for you?"

"Nuh-uh."

"You don't have anywhere to go back to?"

Yet another shake of your head.

They would have to take you to Aretia with them, then. His father would know what to do, what authorities to invoke. In the meantime, you could stay with them at Riorson House. Maybe— Xaden started at the idea. Maybe you could even stay with them forever. If he could convince his father to adopt you...

Gods, how amazing that would be! A little sibling, just like he always wanted!

But he could think about it later. For now, they should try to get some more answers from you. The more they knew, the better they would be able to explain everything to the adults — and it would be them who would have to explain it, Xaden was sure. You would probably go all silent again when they brought you into a new situation, with new people you didn't know.

Piece by piece, they managed to get the story out of you, using yes or no questions as much as they could and giving you as much time as you needed when something required a spoken explanation. When you finished, Xaden was shaking with quiet rage, his mood matching the dark clouds that had rolled in to hide the sun.

Earlier this week, your mother had led you from the house at sunset, offering no explanation as to why — not until you'd been deep in the woods, where she'd declared she was leaving you there since she was tired of your behavior. When Xaden asked what exactly she had meant by that, you only shrugged. Difficult children deserved to be taken into the woods to be devoured by monsters; that's what your mother had apparently told you time and time again, and four days ago, she made true on that threat. She just left you there — left you to die, Xaden realized, even if you didn't. Summer was drawing to an end, the nights slowly getting colder. Even if by some miracle you managed to find enough berries to sustain you, you wouldn't have lasted more than a couple more weeks at most. Soon, the cold autumn winds would start blowing, followed by frost in the nights. If you were still out here by then, you would be dead. And if Xaden was old enough to realize that, then surely your mother had known it, too.

Xaden had never loathed anyone as much as he loathed your mother upon hearing that story. How a parent could do such a thing, he didn't know. His own mother might have left him, too, but there was no comparing that to what yours had done. Xaden, at least, still had his dad, had a home. You had no one and nothing. But you would, Xaden vowed. From now on, you would have him. Despite the differences of your situations, he knew all too well what it was like to be abandoned, what it must have felt like to have your mother turn her back on you without any explanation of what you had done to deserve it. The both of you could heal from those emotional wounds together.

"Okay, so your mom sucks," Garrick summed up. Xaden barely refrained from snapping what an understatement that was. "What about your dad?"

You cocked your head to the side, looking confused.

"Don't have one?" Bodhi guessed.

You nodded.

"That sucks," Garrick said again.

Bodhi gave you a comforting smile. "Don't worry, we'll find you a new home. And a new family. A better one."

"We can be your family," Xaden offered.

You turned your gaze upon him, a tentative smile forming on your lips — the first one they'd seen from you.

Still, when they prepared to ride home, you hesitated.

Xaden understood. After everything you'd been through — he was certain your mother hadn't treated you well even before casting you out — it made sense that you wouldn't trust any adults, and you knew that in the end, what happened to you wouldn't be up to Xaden and his friends, but to their parents.

Xaden was sure they would gladly help you, certainly weren't going to send you back to a mother who clearly didn't care for you. If they tried, Xaden wouldn't let them. As far as he was concerned, she had stopped being your mother the moment she walked away from you. Having done so once, there was no reason she wouldn't do it again if you were returned to her.

You deserved better than that.

Again, he thought that the best solution would be for his own father to adopt you. There were plenty of vacant rooms in the family wing of Riorson House, so space certainly wouldn't be an issue. And he didn't think his dad or aunt would mind having another child in the house. His aunt, especially, would probably be happy to dote on you. Maybe she should be the one to adopt you... But Xaden wanted a sister, not another cousin. When he'd been younger, he'd frequently asked his parents — begged them, really — for a little sibling, but they had only shaken their heads and reminded him he had Bodhi. And sure, the both of them were close, but a little cousin that lived with him just wasn't the same as a little sister of his own, especially since Bodhi was barely a year younger.

He shook his head. First of all, he had to bring you home. Anything else would come afterwards.

Xaden didn't know what it was that finally convinced you — the onset of rain, the prospect of a soft bed and warm meal, his assurance that their parents would not mind your presence, that they were kind, or maybe his promise that he would keep you safe, would make sure you never had to see your mother again. It didn't matter why you finally agreed to come home with them, only that you did.

Getting you onto his horse was comparatively easy. Even though you eyed the animal with the wariness of someone who'd never sat a horse before, you remained calm as Xaden hefted you into the saddle and swung himself up after you.

All the way home, he prayed that his father would agree to take you in. After almost half a year since Xaden's mom had left, his dad and aunt had stopped treading on eggshells around him, but they still tried to make up for her absence in whatever ways they could. He wasn't above taking advantage of that, if he had to. Whatever it took to convince his father to adopt you, Xaden would do it. He had promised to look after you, and he intended to keep that promise.

Xaden's dad was still working when they arrived, but luckily not in the middle of any important meetings. They found him in his office, going through some paperwork with Bodhi's mom. Good — if they were both there, the boys wouldn't have to explain the situation twice.

You kept close to Xaden as he peered into the room after knocking, hiding behind him.

"Dad, do you have a moment? It's important."

When his father nodded, Xaden entered the room, Bodhi and Garrick following. Caught in the middle of the group, you had no choice but to do the same.

Putting a hand on your shoulder, Xaden stepped aside so his father and aunt could see you.

"We found her in the woods," he explained. "Her mother left her there because she didn't want her anymore."

For a moment, they just stared.

All four of you were soaked from the rain, which had only gotten heavier once you'd left the shelter of the trees. With your wet hair plastered to your head, your wide eyes appeared even bigger, bones jutting through the clothes sticking to your skin. At least the rain had washed away most of the dirt.

"Let's get you dried off, then you can tell us everything," his aunt said, leaving the room to return with a stack of towels.

When all of you were wrapped in warm towels and had sat down, Xaden's dad turned to you. "So, my boy says you were left in the forest?"

"I don't think she can speak right now, dad," Xaden said after a quick glance at you. "It took forever for her to feel comfortable enough with us to tell us, and I think adults scare her even more."

"I see." Xaden's dad nodded and motioned for him to go on.

"She's not sure how long she's been out there, but probably about four days. Her mom told her she deserved to be left there because she was 'being difficult'. When we found her she was stuck in a raspberry bush and really scared of us at first."

Bodhi added, "And, well, obviously she can't go back to her mom so we took her with us."

"That was the right thing to do," Bodhi's mom praised, running a hand over his wet curls.

Just then, your stomach growled. Shrinking in on yourself even more, you threw a frightened glance between Xaden's dad and aunt, like you were expecting to be scolded for the sound.

They noticed it too.

"Let's get you something to eat before we do anything else," his dad said to you with a reassuring smile.

Xaden's aunt added, "And all four of you need a warm shower and dry clothes."

While Bodhi, his mom, and Garrick led you away, Xaden lingered in his father's office.

"Can we keep her?" he asked, earning himself a disapproving look from his father.

"She's not a stray dog, Xaden," he reprimanded.

"I know, dad. I didn't mean it like that. But can she stay with us? It's not like she has anywhere else to go. Please!"

Xaden knew it had been stupid of him to get attached to the idea of you becoming his sister before his dad even knew you existed, but the moment the thought had popped into his head, it had sunk its teeth into him and refused to let go. It would be good for both of you. Just like him, you had been abandoned by your mother; that alone already meant you could understand each other in a way no one else did. And Xaden thought he would make a great older brother. He had plenty of practice from being Bodhi's big cousin, which wasn't quite the same, but similar enough. And you'd come to trust him a lot already — Bodhi and Garrick, too, sure, but you were the most comfortable with Xaden. He could be your protector, make sure you would never have to be scared of anything again.

"For tonight, yes. She will stay with us until we find her a permanent home. But whether we can be that permanent home..." Dad thoughtfully shook his head. "I don't know, Xaden. I'll have to think on it."

When he started to argue, his father cut him off.

"I know you would like to have a sister, and I understand that you feel responsible for her since you're the ones who found her, but you have to think about what she needs, too, not just what you want. She needs parents who have a lot time for her, who can help her heal from what she's been through."

"But—"

"I said I would think about it, Xaden. And I promise that if she can't stay with us—" He raised a hand to stop Xaden as he opened his mouth to argue again. "If, Xaden. I'm not saying no yet. But if I decide she can't live with us, I'll try to find a family here in Aretia for her, so you can visit her."

"New people scare her," Xaden muttered — the only argument he could think of.

"I'll take that into consideration. Now go put on some dry clothes."

Xaden understood a dismissal when he heard one, so he turned to go to his room.

Though he wasn't foolish enough to say it, he thought his father's reasoning was stupid. It was true that being the duke of Aretia meant he was often very busy, but he always managed to make a little time for Xaden. Whether that time was spend with him alone or shared with you would hardly make any difference. Even if it did, that didn't mean that parents who didn't work and had more time for you would automatically be better parents.

Xaden didn't bother with a shower, just dried off and put on fresh clothes. When he was done, he went to see where you had gone.

He found you in his cousin's room, where he was trying to find something you could wear, while his mom was getting you something to eat. Luckily, there were a few items that had recently gotten too small for Bodhi, which his mom hadn't yet gotten rid of. They would still be too big on you, but better than anything of Xaden's. Until your own clothes were washed, it would do.

Taking the clothes from Bodhi, Xaden led you back to his own room and into the bathing chamber, let water into the tub and laid out a fresh towel and the clothes for you.

"You, uh— You're old enough to bathe on your own, right?"

He scratched his head, glancing between you and the tub. He'd never really thought about its size, but next to your tiny form, it suddenly seemed awfully big. Big enough to make him fear you might disappear in its depths, if he let it run full.

Your shrug wasn't exactly reassuring.

"Didn't you have a bathtub with your mom?"

"Nh-nh. Just a shower."

No, not reassuring at all.

"Do you know how to swim?"

A futile question, since the bathtub wasn't big enough to swim in, even for you, but if you could swim, it would mean you were at least familiar with water and its dangers.

You shook your head.

"I'll only fill it halfway, then," Xaden decided. After all, he hadn't brought you home just for you to drown in his bathtub. Glancing at it again, he realized it was already a little more than halfway full, and quickly stopped the water. "And I'll leave the door open. If you need anything, just—"

Just yell for me, he'd meant to say, but of course, you might not be able to. Crap.

Looking around, he spotted a fleck of color on top of the bathroom cabinet. He stepped onto the lid of the toilet and reached for the dust-coated rubber duck. It had been years since he even thought of the thing, but if he remembered correctly— Squeak.

Perfect.

Hopping down, he blew the dust from the duck and offered it to you. "If you need me, just squeeze it, okay?"

You nodded, and Xaden nodded back, rather pleased with his own resourcefulness.

"Alright. Go ahead then, before the water gets cold. I'll be right outside."

While you bathed and Xaden sat on his bed listening for sounds of drowning, Bodhi and his mom came in with a bowl of soup for you. Outside, the rain had stopped for the moment, so Garrick had gone home before it could start pouring again.

"I'm going to prepare one of the rooms down the hall for her," Xaden's aunt said. "You'll make sure she eats when she's done in the bath, yes, Xaden?"

Xaden nodded. Of course he would.

Bodhi, who had just sat down beside him, jumped back to his feet to follow his mother. "I'll help you."

She nodded. "Thank you, dear."

A few minutes later, you emerged from the bathing chamber, water still dripping from your hair. As expected, the old shirt you'd gotten from Bodhi was too big on you, but Xaden thought it made a pretty good nightgown. And you did look ready to crawl into bed, even though it wasn't even dinner time yet. You must have not gotten much sleep these past days in the woods.

As you ate, Xaden asked, "Do you know sign language?"

When you only looked at him confused, Xaden explained, "There's different movements you make with your hands that mean the same things as words. See, like this." He repeated what he'd said in sign language — or tried, at least. He wasn't very good at it himself just yet, but determined to get better in case it would help you. "I could teach you. Maybe it'll be easier than talking with your mouth."

You nodded, eyes shining with excitement.

Xaden wondered if your mother had ever bothered to offer you alternative ways of communication. Considering what he knew about her so far, he doubted it. The thought angered him. Even Xaden's dad, who didn't even know you, made more of an effort to make you feel safe and understood than your own mother ever had.

Soon the soup was gone, and your eyelids started to droop.

"Do you want to take a nap?" Xaden asked.

You shrugged, but obediently lay down in Xaden's bed and let him tuck you in when he tried.

"Sleep," he said, getting comfortable beside you. "I'll watch over you."

"You won't leave me alone?"

The question came out tentatively, but Xaden's heart still surged with pride that you felt safe enough with him to ask it at all.

"Never," he promised. "I'll always take care of you, no matter what."

"Even when I'm being difficult?"

"Especially then," Xaden assured you.

He figured that the moments when you behaved in a way your mother had deemed difficult were the ones where you needed caring for the most. That's how it was for him, at least. In the weeks and months after his mom had left, he'd acted plenty difficult — sulking around and snapping at everyone who came near, even as he desperately craved their comforting words and hugs, wanted to be reassured they wouldn't abandon him too.

With a relieved smile, you closed your eyes and soon drifted off.

Outside Xaden's room, his dad and aunt had overhead the conversation, which swayed them toward a decision.

"It would be cruel to send her away when she feels so safe here already," Bodhi's mom was saying.

Xaden's dad nodded. "I'm just worried she'll need more time and affection than I can give."

"Who says you have to raise her alone? We'll take care of her together, just like of our boys. It might be good for them, too — having a girl around."

He looked through the half-open door again, shaking his head. "We're just kidding ourselves if we pretend it hasn't already been decided, aren't we?"

"Indeed."

A quiet tapping sound made Xaden look to the open door. His father stood in the doorway, smiling slightly, and gestured for Xaden to come to him. He climbed out of bed, careful not to wake you.

Once he had joined his father in the hall, door closed behind him, Dad said, "I've decided."

Xaden blinked in surprise. It had only been a few hours. Not sure if the fact that his father had made his decision much faster than expected, Xaden held his breath.

"It will take some time to get all the necessary papers, but once that's taken care of, you'll officially have a little sister."

Xaden threw himself at his father in a hug. "Thank you!"

"Not so loud," his dad chuckled, patting his back. "You'll wake her up."

The next morning, Xaden was awake earlier than you. 

You looked even more fragile in your sleep than you did awake, your little fingers curled around the edge of the pillowcase, face truly relaxed for the first time since Xaden had met you. He would do his best to ensure you would always feel this safe in the future. As your big brother, that would be his job, to keep you safe, and never ever let anybody hurt you, like your mother had, and Xaden was determined to take that responsibility very seriously.

Impatiently waiting to tell you the good news, he lay awake and watched your slumbering form. He knew better than to wake you up. The days alone in the woods had exhausted you, and you needed every minute of sleep you could get to recover. They'd even let you sleep through dinner last night, and when Xaden had climbed into bed beside you, you hadn't so much as stirred. At least you hadn't seemed to have any nightmares. Maybe that would come later — the following night, you would have to sleep in your own room, alone. Dad had allowed you to remain in Xaden's room the past night because he hadn't wanted to risk waking you, but he would not let this become a habit, Xaden knew.

Finally, you stirred. Xaden threw aside the illustrated book about weapons he'd grabbed from his bedside table after getting bored, and sat up.

"Guess what," he said by way of good morning.

"Huh?"

"My dad is adopting you!" He paused, suddenly realizing he hadn't really asked your opinion on the matter. "If you'd like that, I mean."

You slowly blinked up at him, eyes still heavy with sleep. "I— I can stay? Here?"

Xaden nodded, cheeks straining with how wide he was smiling. Gods, he hadn't smiled like this since before his mother had left. "This can be your home, if you want. And I'll be your brother."

Slowly, a smile lit up your face.

"Would you like that?" Xaden asked. He saw the answer on your face, but wanted confirmation.

You nodded, putting your little hand into his. "Brother."

The whispered word was the most beautiful sound Xaden had ever heard.

"Sister," he replied, closing his fingers around your own to give a gentle squeeze.

[thedarkdisgrace]

Ok, follow up post to the original cause I wanted to actually offer my analysis/interpretation on this.

I feel like this is a right/left brain analogy 🧵

Dazai covering his right side, the side supposedly responsible for the emotional & artistic things. It says alot about his mindset, accurate for that time.

It’s intriguing, then, Kouyou covers the “logical” side

I feel like this lends to why Chuuya & Kouyou do get along well. While both Chuuya & Kouyou are no doubt very intelligent (Asagiri literally refers to Chuuya as a genius) they both still lean very much into their emotional side as well. Even if Kouyou seemingly does so less.

Kouyou reveals herself, however, not only in her care for Chuuya but we mainly see it how she handled the situation with Kyoka.

She could have insisted Kyoka come back without ever changing her mind but when Dazai presents her with a way to save Kyoka from dark, she agrees quickly.

Kouyou clearly cares & wanted to help & protect Kyoka even if she went about it poorly. She was trying to help based on her past experiences, lest we forget that she tried to leave the mafia herself once, for *love* no less. She also tends to get emotional when talking about her past or her wish to help Kyoka.

But once she was presented with another solution, a far better one, she didn’t do “what’s best for the mafia”. Kouyou agreed to what was best for Kyoka & that was definitely a more emotional choice.

This is an area where Chuuya & Kouyou align. So, of course they would get along.

Chuuya always seems to find the balance between his logic and emotion. However, he can easily & often does lean more into his emotional side first, then his logical side.

It’s similar for Kouyou, even if we don’t see it as much from her.

Back to Dazai then, when he left the mafia & the cover on Dazai’s “emotional side” was gone Dazai seemed to also move more towards that balancing of the two sides.

He started off heavily relying on his logical brain & struggled emotionally. Often feeling numb or apathetic mostly, hence his suicidal ideation.

Then he meets Chuuya & this shifts. Chuuya forces him to experience new feelings. As Chuuya is a living breathing example of most things Dazai felt the world lacked. It opened Dazai to the idea that there is more to the world, there is more to *people*. Chuuya intrigues Dazai enough to make him want to live a little longer again. Chuuya gave him a reason to keep going, a promise of more.

From the moment he met Chuuya, it was a process of letting more & more emotions seep into his mind & his heart. We see how he feared for Chuuya in 15 even after they just met, even though Dazai *knew* it was a plan.

I might even venture to go as far as to say Dazai may not have feared for someone else’s life that hard before. It was a burst of unrecognizable emotions to him. After this, he only had more & more emotion seep in as the years went by. In Storm Bringer he was ready to sacrifice the city to give Chuuya a choice.

That relationship opened Dazai up to others later, namely Oda & Ango. Which only further encouraged the intermingling of his logical brain and his emotions. Then reaching the point at which the bandages were finally removed entirely and then he, like Chuuya, moved to striving to find the balance rather than relying on one side.

Bringing us back to current Dazai as he is still attempting to find that balance.

He still leans more towards his logical side. This, of course, in contrast to Chuuya who, while intelligent, more easily leans into the emotional.

Yet another thing between them that completes & balances each other. Soukoku will always pull the other back when drifting too far.

So, of course, Soukoku complement each other & it benefits them both.

Having Kouyou on Chuuya’s other side I think also does help Chuuya stay grounded while in the mafia. Chuuya isn’t one to lose who he is but I think having someone else who he knows *cares* like he does helps.

Now, additionally, if we apply this to Beast, I think this also says alot about beast Dazai & why Asagiri says beastzai would be the hardest for someone to portray.

Because *this* Dazai, is perhaps *too* far into his emotional side. He’s always intelligent but in beast, his actions aren’t fully logical, they’re emotional.

He appears cold & calculating as always but he saw another version of himself suffer the great loss of a best friend & allowed his emotional desire to prevent that from happening take control. Thus, his emotional side takes over, thus him covering the opposite side from canon Dazai, he’s covering his “logical” side.

I feel like this is the main difference between all the various Dazai we’ve seen.

PM Dazai relied heavily on his logical side, especially before meeting Chuuya. He rarely took emotion into account unless it involved the 3 people he actually cared for. We see him make emotional choices when it involves Chuuya, Oda, and Ango. Dazai did seem to let more and more emotion seep in over time as a result of knowing them, however, leading to that moment the bandages are removed.

Beastzai is leaning far too heavily into his emotional side, getting lost in it even. Acting solely on an emotional desire rather than a logical one. His desire to prevent a tragedy. He only was using his intellect to further that emotional desire.

Canonzai went through a steady progression, meeting Chuuya starts to open him up, this extending over time to Oda & Ango, leading to the cover on his “emotional” side being taken off.

But beastzai skipped all of that, all the *progression* to that point for canonzai & so beastzai just got all these intense emotions he never experienced before all at once when he saw canonzai’s memories & therefore he sunk far too deep, too quickly into his emotions.

Now current/ADA Dazai is the balance of the two extremes, and seemingly the closest to happiness.

ADA Dazai uses his logical brain as always but he also actually takes emotion into account as well and has more people he actually cares for now.

I think that says alot to the theme of bsd, leaning into that “everything is grey” dynamic. Everything is about the *balance* of things. Showcasing that anything in extremes in either direction doesn’t work.

Anyway, just some thoughts I had and interpretations of mine. Take them as you want, as always.

Oh and just to be clear, I don’t think Dazai was ever “emotionless”, even at his worse. Even if he was numb and apathetic. He was also lonely.

Just saying the more people he came to care about (Chuuya, Oda, Ango then later the ADA) the more he was able to feel a variety of emotion.

My original post:

[temis-de-leon]

Demon Brothers and Short!MC

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon and Satan x gn!reader (separately)

Main Masterlist

Requested by @yeosanityyyy: hiii!!! i love love love your writing and wanted to request something! can you write head canons w lucifer, mammon and satan with a short mc? like for reference, i’m about 5’0, luci is 6.3, mammon is 6’1 and satan is about 5’11! :))) ty!

A/N: I'm 5'3 if you're curious

.

Lucifer

It isn’t something he pays special attention to, at least in the beginning. After all, when he first meets you in person, you’re scared and shrunken by intimidation; everything around you is unknown and hostile, so your small stature seems even tinier.

Over time, although he doesn’t really need it, the high difference makes him feel stronger, more powerful and superior.

His shadow leaves you in darkness when he stands before you in the staircase and he threatens to harm you if you don’t stop investigating the voice coming from the attic. When he dances with you at the castle retreat, the span of his wings makes you disappear and your whole hand cracks under the pressure of just a couple of his fingers.

The imbalance strokes his ego and helps establish your place beneath him.

That is, until you start disobeying him and jeopardizing Lord Diavolo’s plans for the future.

You’re tiny and puny, yes, but also a nuisance with quite the potential. His frustration over your actions makes him momentarily forget about your height, and after all the… drama, it ends up being the last thing in his mind.

It isn’t until you’re gone and he misses you that he starts to pay attention to that feature.

He thinks of the last time he held you, your last night in the Devildom, and his last goodbye to you, when he had to bend down to whisper his last words to your ear. He’d been so focused on the idea of your inevitable absence at the time that everything else seemed meaningless.

One night, after sharing more than a couple of bottles of Demonus, he comes back to the House of Lamentation feeling uncharacteristically melancholic. He wants to hold you again, but you aren’t there for him, and the only thing that can console him is your uniform, neatly kept in your closet, and the faintest hint of your perfume that still lingers in the air.

He holds the hanger right in front of him, trying to get his mind to fill in the gaps and imagine you there in front of him, but the way he’s doing it is making it seem as if you were floating. His fingers graze the textile that would be hugging your waist.

And he wasn’t thinking about it before, but your height certainly can’t leave his mind now.

Mammon

It’s the first thing he notices when he enters the Assembly Hall that first night. You’re shivering in the vastness of the room, all wide eyed and mouth agape, and you’re as small as a mouse.

He laughs at first, because how could he not? You are a walking stereotype. Human, weak, dumb and small? You have it all.

Although he would find it even more hilarious if he didn’t have to be the one responsible to actually look out for you.

Whatever.

It’s better than being hanged from the staircase for days on end, right?

Thankfully, it turns out that you’re not that much of an inconvenient. It turns out that you can be decent company, smart enough to not seek death and even funny sometimes.

He would never say that you are friends, but it’s obvious to everyone that you are the best one he has; never mind what he says about Goldie.

Still, that doesn’t mean he will stop teasing you about how small you are just because now you are buddies or something. He complains several times a day about the neck pain you cause him when he has to look down to talk to you, he uses your head as an armrest pretty often, and even though he’d never say it out loud, he panics every time he loses you in a crowd.

However, it isn’t until you’re in actual danger that he realizes how small you actually are.

The most noticeable time is when you’re in the kitchen late at night, eating a custard like it’s nobody’s business. You’re tired, cold and cranky, not in the mood for midnight snaking, but you’re doing it anyway because he’s telling you to do so. Sadly, his brother appears in the doorway before he can congratulate you for being so obedient, monotone voice deep with a primal need for revenge and fists clenched while his eyes focused on the empty container in your hands.

Next thing Mammon knows, you’re both hiding behind the counter while the Avatar of Gluttony raids the kitchen in search of something that can satisfy him. You are trembling in his arms, but not from the temperature that time, and he can’t help but feel like a single punch would break you in half.

He allows himself to hug you tighter, to protect you of course, and enjoy how nicely you fit in his embrace.

His behaviour won’t let him seek you the way he wants to, but each memory will stay in his mind forever.

Satan

Obviously he notices how short you are, but he is one of the only brothers in the family to force himself to ignore it. It would be uncharacteristic of him to judge you based on a physical feature (quite literally judging a book by its cover) and he does love a good mystery.

How different are you from how you look like? Just as meek and discreet? Or do you hide some strength that could surprise everyone around you?

However, as curious as he is, Satan doesn’t really interact with you during the beginning of the exchange program unless strictly necessary. He has more important things to do, like keeping up with his vast social circle and antagonizing Lucifer as much as possible, and Mammon is already there to make sure you aren’t dead by the end of the day.

Of course, his lack of interest vanishes quickly when he realises how much you unnerve Lucifer.

Forming a pact with you looks like the perfect way to annoy the eldest brother, and seeing how easy it was for his brothers to get one with you, he supposed you would accept instantly if he so graciously proposed it unprompted.

Unfortunately for you, he was wrong.

You reject him, right out of the bat, and he doesn’t really think much of anything beyond that point. You forged bonds with Asmo, Beel, Levi and even Mammon, but he is where you draw the line? Him, Satan? Don’t you trust him? Do you see him as inferior? Below those idiots?

The threats are quick to leave his lips, and as his words get more gruesome and violent by the second, you shrink over yourself with fear and hopelessness. Your frame disappears in the shadows of his room, and for a moment, he wonders what would happen if one the book towers in his room collapsed under the power of his outrage.

How much would you break?

Thankfully, although Satan feels gutted to even think this, Lucifer appears just in time to deescalate the situation. What comes after is a series of events that he would’ve never imagined happening to him, like coming to an understanding with his eldest brother, but it ends up with him apologizing to you and creating a pact out of genuine emotion and not petty manipulation, so he’s satisfied.

Your height doesn’t come up to his mind after that. The violent thoughts that possessed him back then in his room vanish and he goes to treat you with complete normality, like he would with any other friend.

The main difference is that he sends you way more cat videos than he does to anyone else he knows, even Solomon.

But for some reason, he only sends videos with munchkin cats.

Weird.

.

.

Taglist: @ilovecandys2010 @ollieoven @kingofspadesdelusion @whimsybloom @mia4gotcookiez

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

This is referring to the "Everything we know about Neige" post. I was just going to comment, but since it became quite big I decided to send here.

Seriously, the RSA boys throwing themselves in from of the NRC always gets to me, because they essentially sacrificed themselves to a unknown treat and I love how this shows the difference between the students on each school, and how RSA is always playing as a team instead of the each men for themselves style of NRC. And especially how that strength is the exact why RSA keeps winning against NRC in the intarscholastic spell drive tournament, and has done so for 99 consecutive years!

I love how around the beginning of the manga (also in the game, but I personally fell like the manga explanation was better) Crowley says how because the mirror's choice are always magicians with big potential, that also leads for a group of people who are somewhat arrogant and refuses to work together.

This is such a core part of the story, but I don't see a lot of talk around it, and personally, I think it's one of the biggest charms.

I do really enjoy how even by telling a story though the villans side, the writers were still able to showcase the very core Disney idea that the reason the heros win is because they are working together, opposite to the villains who ,for the most part, work alone and isolated. It also highlights the importance of dialog and conversation while ALSO showing how naive and self sacrifizing most of the heros are, with Neige and Chenya without think twice throwing themselves into the flowers to save the NRC boys.

I appreciate so much the dinamic of this two schools because by that we can see the strengths and weaknesses of BOTH sides.

Sorry if that was to long and sorry for any grammar mistakes or misspellings. Hope you have/had a nice day/night. Take care. ♡

[Referencing this post!]

It was definitely a really commendable moment for the RSA students, especially when Ruggie and Idia (in the same event) wanted to abandon their asses and save themselves 😭

I feel the common sentiment is to claim RSA’s wins against NRC are “undeserving” or impossible to believe when NRC has so many powerhouses, but it makes sense when you consider the philosophies of their students are so different. Neige and the dwarves performed a popular children’s song from the Shaftlands—a song which adults have nostalgia for and kids love, a song which encourages everyone to join in singing and dancing. Vil had a new song made, but the style won’t appeal to everyone and the lyrics are hard and brag about beating down a foe and winning. You won’t win the audience vote if your performance fails to emotionally connect with people.

RSA’s 99-year win streak in magift/spelldrive is no coincidence either. Their cooperation (which is emphasized in their school curriculum as well) allows them to pull victories, whereas NRC often falls apart due to in-fighting. Ace and Grim give an example at the beginning of Stage in Playful Land. Leona also states that their team last year started fighting before the game even started. It's a consistent pattern.

With the end-of-year tournament being a team composed of one member from each dorm (dorms which have strong rivalries and think they are better than the others), there’s bound to be even more issues that arise in a match. RSA wins not only because they have talented students that can work together well, but also because NRC quite literally tears itself apart from the inside out 💀

It's interesting when we think about how the Mirror of Darkness seems to select students that have great magic potential but are also very arrogant because of that same potential. And this also reflects in their morals as well; it's not uncommon to find NRC students willing to use underhanded methods to get their way (Jamil and Ruggie controlling NBC students to be meat shields, Leona in all of book 2, Jade suggesting they use booby traps to take down their Sledathon rivals, etc.), whereas none of the RSA students we've met so far appear to have morals that deviate from that of a typical nice yet naive "hero". NRC values self preservation, independence, and ambition, whereas RSA is far more self-sacrificing and caring for the entire group. It makes me wonder if RSA has a method of enrollment that minimizes the arrogance and underhandedness in its student population (or at least boasts humility or open-mindedness)? As far as we're aware, the students at RSA also have great magic potential... so what makes the students enrolled at NRC arrogant about it and the students at RSA not arrogant about it...?

I think what separates villains and heroes in Disney films is their dynamics with others. Villains often have henchmen or partners in crime, but the villains are definitely presented as the ones in charge while the others are subservient to them. Villains give commands and/or manipulate to get their way. There is a clear power dynamic, a leader and followers behind that leader’s ambitions. Heroes are willing to compromise, and you’ll seldom see heroes bossing around their friends or allies. If people help the hero, it’s typically of their own volition and not because they are ordered to. Sometimes they help because they are moved or inspired by the hero—but ultimately, their autonomy remains intact. The hero treats others as equals and not as a means to an end. Their kindness is a virtue that attracts others to them. It’s a “me against the world” vs an “us against the world” mentality.

[turtlesandfrogs]

So, someone asked:

And truthfully, I have so much advice that it needs to be it's own post.

First off, let's set some background information: I have ADHD. I have really bad ADHD*, and that has an impact on executive functioning and thus the amount of work that can be accomplished during work time. HOWEVER! You do not have to have ADHD for this advice to be relevant for you. Often accommodations for one group end up working well for others, so just, like, keep that in mind, ok?

On ward!

Step 1: Have you met your mammalian needs? That is, have you had food (type of food matters, make sure you get some good protein, fats, carbs, and vegetables in you. You will not last long on coffee and a bag of candy), water, physical exercise, and ample sleep**? We are animals. We have to have these needs met, or we will not be functioning well. This is the ground work, the foundation of the ability to Do Stuff.

Addendum for those with executive functioning disorders (ADHD, ASD, probably others, I'm not an expert in mental disorders!): You need to make space in your life, EVERY DAY for things you enjoy. Do not limit them to "rewards" for after the task is done- you need things to be happy about in order maintain your mental well-being. Without happy-making things, you get depressed (well, a lot of us are co-morbid and need to keep an eye on that any way), and when you're depressed, you will not be functioning well. Depression literally robs you of energy. Doing things that make you happy is just as foundational as eating, drinking, and sleeping. Time with friends and loved ones, time with hyperfixations and special interests, hobbies, etc. You NEED them. They are prerequisite, not reward!

Step 2. Do physical activities daily. The more physical activity you do, the more you'll be able to do. Yes, there is a point at which it becomes too much, or a person tries to do too much too soon, but for the majority of modern humans in the US, increasing your physical activity will increase your energy levels and endurance. It also does good things for your brain (increased focus, increased learning ability, increased positive mood, etc). Find some activities that you enjoy- walking around the neighborhood and identifying plants and birds? SCA? Dancing? Stretching? Swimming? Biking? DDR? Pushups? Find something that you enjoy doing and can fit into your daily life. Also try to find things that strengthen muscles, maintain flexibility, and train balance.

Step 3. Reduce Cognitive load- and plan to do it before you start. The less you have to think about while you're working, the better. Thinking takes energy, and when you're working on a thing***, you want your energy to be going to that thing. Some things that may help:

Listening to music

Having a piece of paper where you write down any thoughts of things you need to do that aren't the thing you're doing right now.

Putting your phone on Do Not Disturb

Meditating first, so you can write down all those "AAAA! I need to do that!!!" thoughts on that paper mentioned earlier before you even try to work. I find that every time I try to meditate they all come bubbling up, so it's a great way to get them all written down first so they won't be distracting you while you're trying to work on your chosen task.

Set a timer, so that you're not thinking about how long it's been or if you need to stop and do something else.

Do some prep work before working to make the working easier. Like, are you cleaning out a doom room? Grab the garbage, recycling, and empty containers you need first. Are you writing a paper? Grab your snacks and hot beverages, and references, and have a plan for your break times before you sit down to write.

Step 4. Access what you need/want to do. Make a list. Look at the list. Do any of those things feel overwhelming? You need to address that:

can you break the tasks into smaller tasks?

do some of the tasks need preparatory work? Write that down on your list too

does a task have a hard part that is blocking you from progress? Can you do that first thing while you're at max energy? Can you break down that part into smaller parts? Can you get someone else to do it? Can you do it, and then schedule a break?

Step 5. Keep your 'Why' in mind. Why are you doing it? What is the core motivation, the driving force? Eg, "I'm cleaning my room because I feel better when my space is clear and organized, and it's a gift to my future self". Or maybe, "I'm writing this paper because (this topic interests me) or (because I want to get a good grade in this class and do well in school so that I can get a job that will support me in the future)". Some times it's not obvious at first why exactly you're doing a thing, but if you dig, there's probably a solid reason that is meaningful to you in there somewhere (even if it's just, like, avoiding late fees or something). If not, maybe don't do the thing?

Step 6. Take breaks. Breaks are legally mandated, at a minimum of 10 minutes every 2 hours where I am, but everywhere I've worked (except when I was a teacher) gave people 15 minutes every 2 hours. You know why? Because you get back from break with more energy. You also make less mistakes when you take regular rest breaks. You work more efficiently, and can work for longer if you take restful breaks. Just, like, don't do something that's taxing in the same way as the work you're doing. In other words, if you're writing, don't go read more things, get up and walk around the building instead. If you're doing physical labor, sit your tired bones down and consider looking at things that make you laugh or bring you joy.

Step 7. As you work, acknowledge to yourself your accomplishments, and celebrate them. The harder the thing is (or the harder it was to get started), the more important this is. You're training your brain to associate doing the work you want to do with good feelings. You are not that much more complex than a dog or pigeon. If you are mean to yourself, for example by thinking "dang, that was all? What's wrong with me that it took me 3 weeks/6 months/2 years to get started?" then you are effectively punishing yourself. Even a small tweak like "Dang, that's all? That's way easier than I thought it would be! Go me! I'm so glad that's over and I'm no longer suffering through procrastination!" makes a huge difference. Don't be mean to yourself.

Further suggestions:

8. If you have a hard time starting, use some ADHD strategies:

Tell yourself that you only have to work for 5 minutes (or 10, if that feels very doable), and then you can take a break. Set a timer, and at 5 minutes, check in with yourself. How are you doing? If you're doing good and want to keep going, do a quick stretching break, mentally praise yourself, and then get back to it. If not, stop, take a break and assess what you can do to make it better. Then get back to it.

Count down from 10 and start.

Bribe yourself: When I'm done, I'm going to take a hot bath. When I'm done, I'm going to go for a walk. When I'm done, I'm going to spend $300 dollars on houseplants. When I'm done, I'm going to ask for a hug. When I'm done, I'm going to play 6 hours of that new game. You know, what ever is reasonable and fits the scale of the project.

Get a body double/work buddy. They don't have to help you, they are just there, working on their own thing. For some reason this helps a lot of people.

Think about how much future-you will appreciate present-you for doing this task.

Take a second and write about the problem, why it's hard to start. Is there something else even more pressing that you need to take care of first? Have you not met all of your needs? Is there some element that you're avoiding thinking about for some reason? Can you address it?

9. Role play an effective person. Or a person that's good at the thing you want to do. Think of someone, ideally someone you know, who is good at the thing, and pretend you're them. Maybe someone you're slightly jealous of because of their ability to do the thing. What would they do? What would it look like? How would they feel internally while doing it? Just pretend you're them and look at the work through their eyes for a little bit.

10. Do you have sensory issues? Is your body comfortable? Are your clothes clean and nice feeling? Do you need to take a shower (or just wipe relevant bits with a wet washcloth)? Are the lights bright/dim enough? Is the air fresh or does it feel stuffy and stagnant? Are you hungry/sad/thirsty/tired/overwhelmed/etc? Can you address any of those factors?

11. Use usually negative personality traits. I'm not saying this is for everyone, but for some of us, it may be a useful tool when used cautiously. For example, I am a person who has a lot of anger. Obviously I have worked very hard to get better at managing my anger and reducing the sum total of hours I spend angry. HOWEVER, I am so good at cleaning when I'm furious. S,o maybe I pick a thing that I know will make me angry, and I think about it for a while, and then I have a lot more energy to clean the room.

12. Use positive personality traits. I also really enjoy making people happy. So sometimes if it's not enough to motivate me, I think about how happy whatever work will make someone else. That's probably the better, healthier option.

13. Are you trying to do too much? I want you to take an assessment of yourself and your energy and endurance levels. Think of what would use up 100% of your energy and endurance for the day. Got it? Ok, good. Now, don't let yourself go over 80%. At the max. Reduce your task list and responsibilities until you can comfortably get everything done with 60 to 80% of your energy and endurance. Why? Because if you're running at 100% all of the time, what happens when you can't? Because if you're running at 100% all the time, you will burn out. Because if you're running at 100% all of the time, if a small disaster happens, so much will collapse because you won't be able to do it all.

Because you're a human, and you deserve leisure time and rest and relaxation. Because you're a human, and you NEED leisure time and rest and relaxation.

14. Being mean, harsh, disapproving, and demanding of yourself is counter productive and WILL NOT work in the long term. Being kind, creating chances for you to learn new things, being grateful to your past-self, and giving yourself the things you need to be happy and healthy will.

* enough that the physiatrist commented on it, but I was home schooled until I went to college, and thus had no idea what ADHD was or that I had it until year two of my masters degree in teaching. I didn't get formally diagnosed until 29.

**ample sleep, here defined as allotting enough time to sleep that you wake up before your alarm clock on a regular basis. Not like, once a week you sleep in for however many hours in an attempt to make up for the rest of the week. No, I mean allotting enough time EVERY NIGHT that you wake up before your alarm 90% of the time. It doesn't count if you're waking up because of anxiety or pain. I would hope that you're addressing those as much as you possibly can.

*** please nobody think that when I say "working" that I mean jobs/working for other people. When I say "working" I mean literally any activity that you don't find yourself doing automatically and without thought. I love plants- taking care of them is still work. I love food- making it is still work. I love sharing information- compiling it in a format that is intelligible to others is still work.

[ashrayus]

PLSSSS MORE FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS OF JASON TODDDD!

DUDEE!!!! really happy u asked but also omg this got long agaiN who would have thought (!) i added summaries this time tho :)

here is part one of my fic recs XD

andd heres the new ones!! pls give them some love if u read them :D

Dick and Jason:

how lonely to be something that nothing wants to kill by sunlitlemonade

There were blood drops dripping down his fingers to the ground. The puddle was big enough for it to have spread around more than half the tub. His breaths shuddered, they were shallow and waning. But he was breathing and Dick’s world centered around that.

starting strong with Angst go read all of sun’s fics i always die and get revived <333 pls mind the tags on this one

cast on/cast off by hellsreluctantheir

“This is surprisingly non-destructive for Jason,” Dick comments, lightly. In the parking lot, Jason pulls a grenade out of one of his pockets, yanks the pin, and tosses it through the roller door and out of sight, before tearing out of the parking lot in chase of the truck. “Well, for a minute there,” Dick amends. He takes a step back towards the alley the batmobile is parked in, giving Bruce a quick glance. “We following? “No,” Bruce says, as the grenade goes off. “He’s cleared the warehouse. We can get into the office.” Dick sighs again. But Jason knows he can call in if he needs help.

time loop!!! read most of this writer's fics and fell in love with them all,, go read fr

bloodstained by hellsreluctantheir

“I know where the clinic is, asshole,” Jason said. The wad of gauze he was using to keep pressure kept slipping against his shoulder. The knife had caught the space between two panels, split to allow movement. Lucky shot. “Ok, let me make sure you get there without passing out from blood loss,” Dick said, a deliberate evenness to his tone, like he was doing his best to accomodate someone who was being completely unreasonable. Shithead. “I’m not going to pass out,” Jason said, ignoring the fact that he was actually feeling pretty unsteady on his feet. He caught himself with his good shoulder on the entry to the bathroom, took a deep breath. “What would Daddy Bats think if he knew you were here, trying to help me?” “I assume something like, ‘Wow, Dick, you’re such a good brother, trying so hard to make sure Jason is ok even when he’s being a complete idiot about it,’” Dick sniped.

heres another one from them. jasons scars and dick. andd another one next

brothers in arms by hellsreluctantheir

It wasn’t like none of them went undercover. Jason practically lived there. And he’d punch anyone who tried to make it a sob story for him, to cluck over the times he’d been alone in a pit of vipers, act like it was some tragedy. But given half a minute to think about it, Dick somewhere completely cut off from everyone but Bruce, no allies on hand, surrounded by enemies. Angry as he was at the lie, there was something about that he just fucking hated. or Thinking your brother is dead and then finding out he's been alive the whole time really has a way of making you rethink the relationship.

Shelter by Ptelea

Two safe houses, two nights dealing with the aftermath of fear toxin, multiple conversations, several meals. Written for Sholio's September 2020 Comfort Fest for a prompt from Musesfool. Warning-wise, there's nothing graphic here but there are definitely references to past canon trauma for both the characters.

the way they are written here <33

Rotten Fruits by couldyoublameme

“I’m fine,” Dick assured gently, sitting up slightly. “Just a bad night, is all.” It’s a familiar phrase he has used so often. Whenever the addiction crawls back into his mind, a parasite he can never truly get rid of. The family knows what it means. Knows what the ‘bad’ is. Knows what to do. “Oh,” Jason says. “Why?”

absolutely murdered me. pls do mind the tags

You Can Do Better Than That by AlexaAffect

All Jason could hear was his own ragged breathing. He desperately gasped for air, each breath more exhausting than the last and his lungs and throat burned with the effort. In. And, he needed a second longer with every breath he took, out. His arms had been suspended for the last… 15? minutes? Jason had quit keeping track of the time, he’d been too preoccupied trying to hold himself upright, trying to ease his position, switch it up, anything to prolong the guaranteed death. “Red Hood?” That was Dick’s voice. Huh. So they had found him fast enough. Or alternatively; Dick finds a kidnapped Jason shortly before he asphyxiates.

this fic is just oddly comforting to me idk. very precious

Equivalent Exchange by Lysical

Apparently favors don't expire on death. --"What do you want, Dick?" "For you to be happy, Jay." Dick leaned over and pinched his cheek. Jason reached up and swiped at him, scowling. "And world peace."

ADORABLE and fun

Just for Now by Lysical

Jason was back in Gotham and the timing couldn't be worse for him to need assistance on a case. He didn't want to see any of the Bats and he was sure the feeling was mutual. Nightwing was the worst option for Oracle to pick to help him out.

To Reconcile by CasualDanger

“Babs slapped me at your funeral.” Jason goes to laugh, but it’s just a cough and his mouth barely even twitches up. “She hated me in that moment. I mean, really, really hated me, like I did Talia after I found out Damian had died. And I wondered,” his voice cracks, eyes glassy now, “did you hate anyone when I was gone? Because I was gone?”

he ain't heavy, he's my brother by someplacewarm

Dick's been putting off meeting with Jason for a while now, but when a distress call comes through, he has no choice but to answer. Or the one where Dick and Jason talk, fight, get high and cuddle. In that order.

making gold out of it by vmkhoney

Dick talks himself back down on the bathroom floor, clinical and detached. (For someone whose primary skill is manipulating his body, it’s not very often that he feels connected to it.) - Or, five years after Blockbuster, Dick begins teetering on the ledge of processing what Catalina did to him.

a wonderful dick grayson fic, and jason is there being a good brother. mind the tags

What Hurts You by blueyeti

Dick comes to Jason's aid when he's injured in a fight, or at least he thinks he has.

jason has no scars!! and thats also sad

at me, too, someone is looking by bacondoughnut

Dick Grayson knows he's got problems when the Red Hood's busted leg somehow becomes his concern. aka; How Dick Grayson finds out Jason Todd is alive. A story about healing.

a rather long one for my standards XD (very short attention span) but this made me sit down and read. very fun jason

Bruce and Jason:

Saltwater and Desperation by bacondoughnut

Jason's not sure how he even manages to get himself out of the harbor. He's just glad Bruce is there when he does. Not that he'll ever, ever admit as much out loud.

same writer, love this jason (and bruce) so much

Insomnolence by navree

It's not like he slept much as a kid anyway; this is just a return to the status quo. He's not overly tired, and even if he's been sleeping less than his already limited amount throughout April, that's still not any of her business. Bad memories are already bad enough even before they spend the next few years in the aftermath becoming nightmares.

navree being The bruce and jason writer for me all of their fics are so o(- (

Ash Into The Wind by navree

This is his dad in there, the first man he ever called Dad, at any rate, and even after everything, booze and jail and Bruce and death and then death again, there's never going to be a part of Jason that isn't gutted that he's dead. One night, a wraith in a red helmet slips onto the grounds of Blackgate Penitentiary to steal one specific thing.

another one from them

Trapped by lurkinglurkerwholurks

BatFam Week 2018, Day Two. Prompt: Trapped Yes, the prompt is "trapped" and it's a Jason fic. I'm so, so sorry. (Not really, though.) Please see tags for potential triggers.

binge read this writers fics recently they write them so nice

Overcoming Our Antecedents by Batbirdies

Bruce swallows, closing his eyes for a brief moment before he takes another, steadying breath and presses both hands to his face. He just needs a moment. Needs to remember where he is, what year it is, that Jason is not actually fifteen, he only looks like he is. This is temporary. This is just a temporary problem that needs to be contained until they can change Jason back. This is not a repeat of events already passed. This is not a second chance.

Jason and Batfam:

Names and Neapolitan by Muddell

“Goddamnnit Robin,” Hood is there, pulling him into his arms. Robin sees that helmet, he sees the green eyes, the dark hair, he sees open, gray, Gotham sky, and hears tires squealing, and then he sees stone. He sees the cave. Bruce is there. Alfred is there. Dick is there. And Hood is there. Robin rolls in and out of consciousness. He reaches out, snatches the smell of copper and the touch of leather, and he holds Hood’s hand and he does not let go. He’s allowed to say it now. “Jason,” he says. “Don’t leave.” Or, following Dick telling Tim about his older brother, to Tim actually knowing him.

read a couple fics from this writer all so good!!!

Six Ways to Sunday by Muddell

Jason catches Duke hiding a headache and says, is anyone going to deal with that?

same writer!! really love their jason

Settle Down and Sleep by OberonBronze

A series of vignettes about seeking comfort. Damian tries his hand at being a comfort animal; Tim shows up at Jason’s place for an impromptu sleepover; Jason bonds with his older brother after a damaging fear toxin trip; Dick and Bruce have a long-overdue conversation.

really liked jason and dick in this :)

Tuck Me In by OberonBronze

Bruce Wayne and his long-standing habit of tucking his kids into bed.

think how great it is to fall asleep (and how terrible it is to wake up) by mikkal

Jason was fifteen, barely five foot, and underweight for his age when he died. When he came back to his body, suddenly he was too tall, too scarred, too much, too different. And he just... never got used to it. (Or: 5 times a Bat noticed/discovered his body dysphoria post resurrection)

Stranger Danger by alchemistsarego, whumpinaheartbeat (alchemistsarego)

There was never one particular moment that Damian registered that he was losing consciousness. Everything simply flashed from one thing to the next, even though some part of him understood that time had been passing in between. He had been sitting upright, rolling his eyes at something someone had said, then he was on the ground being pinned by some unknowable weight. All at once the weight was gone again, replaced instead by something not only lighter, but much warmer too. A blanket? No, a jacket.

jason and others:

Past Experience by Rookblonkorules

He thinks he might be dying. Again.

clark and jason :)

Bats in the Belfry by endlessnepenthe

Hal idly wonders how long he has before he's found. Probably not very. The Bat's freaky like that. (Or, Hal goes to Gotham and discovers that Batman's brand of freaky isn't exactly one of a kind.)

jason and hal jordan??! and slade? and magic.

[steddieas-shegoes]

It’s been done in every which way but Eddie being in an accident of some kind that leaves him paralyzed, but his doctors believe he could walk again with intense physical therapy

He’s stubborn and absolutely hasn’t dealt with any of the trauma of the accident and takes it out on his physical therapist, Steve, who is used to patients being pretty angry about their situation

He always meets Eddie where he is though, tries to keep a smile on his face and joke when appropriate and even shares his cookies from his lunchbox with him

Eventually, Eddie starts making some progress, but instead of being happy about it, he panics and cancels all his PT appointments for the week

Steve tries calling, texting, emailing, doing everything he can to encourage him to keep going, but it all goes unanswered until Gareth, one of Eddie’s closest friends, calls him on Eddie’s phone

He’s depressed and he won’t get out of bed, he’s given up. He’s tired of being in pain and having to try to so hard just to move his damn legs a little

Steve isn’t usually this personal with clients, and tells Gareth he can’t discuss anything medical with him due to patient confidentiality, but insists he should try to drag him to the office the next day before it opens

And somehow, probably through guilt, Gareth manages to wheel a very sullen and grumpy Eddie into the side door entrance to the office at seven in the morning

Steve tells him to come back in an hour to pick him up and Eddie ignores the goodbye Gareth says to him

And Steve pretends nothing is wrong at all, goes through the usual temperature and blood pressure check, asks how he’s feeling and gets a grunt in response, asks if there’s any pain and gets an eye roll

But Eddie met his match in Steve because Steve then pushes him to the center of the workout room, where a large mat is out and a walker is set to the side

“What’s that?”

“Your walker.”

“I don’t need one seeing as I can’t fucking walk.”

“You are today.”

And Steve knows he’s pushing and he hates being pushy

But he knows what his clients are capable of, and he knows without a single doubt in his mind that Eddie is ready to use the walker for five to ten minute increments. He has the leg strength and the stubbornness, he just needs the belief in himself

“Do you want me to hurt myself worse?”

“Of course not. And if you get tired, the seat on the walker is right there. But you can walk and you will walk.”

“And if I call Gareth to come get me right now?”

“Then I don’t believe my services are of value to you anymore and I’ll wish you the best.”

It pained Steve to say it because he knew he was fucking good at what he did, maybe the best in town. His clients often had to wait for his availability to open for weeks or months at a time because of how many people were referred to him

But he said the right thing because Eddie huffed, groaned, and cursed under his breath before wheeling himself to the edge of the mat to hold onto the walker

He pulled himself up

His legs were shaking from not being used for the last few days more than the bare minimum, but his determination was clear

Steve slowly pulled the chair away as Eddie unlocked the brakes of the walker and glared at Steve as he took one step, then two

Sure, he was relying pretty heavily on the walker, maybe more than Steve would’ve liked to see, but he was moving

He made it across the mat and then locked the brakes, sat down on the pad on the walker, and gave a sarcastic grin to Steve

“Happy?”

“Are you?”

And maybe Eddie wasn’t ready to be asked that because he was suddenly sobbing, covering his face as tears flowed down his cheeks

Steve gave him a few seconds before moving to kneel in front of him, pulling his hands away

“You deserve to have your life back, Eddie. You’ve been lucky to have the chance to walk again. Let’s not waste it, okay?”

Eddie spent the rest of the session walking across the mat and taking breaks every two minutes or so

It was better than Steve even expected, but he reminded Eddie not to do too much at once

Eddie didn’t miss any more appointments with Steve, and every appointment, he seemed to be more charming and flirty, more like “the old Eddie” according to Gareth, who drove him most days

Steve never admitted it out loud, but he knew what he felt for Eddie was different from other clients. It felt more personal, and it felt like it could be more someday

When Eddie graduated to a cane, Steve’s services were officially no longer needed

And Eddie decided that he should probably take Steve out on a date

“Since I can walk and hold your hand now,” he winked.

Steve should say no, but he doesn’t

Because holding Eddie’s hand feels even more right as his boyfriend than it did as his physical therapist

[fujoshirat]

hellooo allow me to plant some dad!Shoto thoughts in your mind hehehe 🫶🫶

• Dad!Shoto who took more than half his load of taking care of the twins when they were teeny tiny babies

• Dad!Shoto who meticulously plans the wedding anniversary and had his babies be involved in the surprise for youuu

• Dad!Shoto feels guilty for times he can't attend school functions for his kids 😓

• Dad!Shoto 10/10 still wants more mini you's

So cuteness!!!! Thank you so much for these adorable thoughts, anon!! I hope you don’t mind me using my OC!children as well ><

A/N: (´｡• ω •｡`)/ yay I'm alive after around 3 months of inactivity😅

Dad!Shouto definitely takes on more load than you insist. Especially with Aki and Haru, his first children. Because he’s new and unsure of this “father role,” you have to guide him a lot. Cue a lot of “Will holding him like this hurt him?” and “How do I feed him?” Sometimes you have to remind him that even though they are vulnerable babies, they aren’t literally made of glass.

Once he does get comfortable (whether that’s after Aki and Haru get older or even when you have Yuu and Yue), it’s game over. Suddenly, he’s able to do pushups with a little one giggling on his back and carrying both male twins while doing the laundry so that you can finally nap.

Dad!Shoto never does a half-assed job (ehe, reference to one of my other works). Whether it’s his job as a pro hero or cooking when you feel too tired to make dinner, he does his absolute very best to succeed.

This includes planning important celebrations of milestone events, one important one being your wedding anniversary.

Dad!Shouto goes alllllllllll out for your wedding anniversary! He’s got all bases covered: your favorite flowers, breakfast in bed, the entire day off, and all three meals covered.

Every new Todoroki child brought into the world makes the celebration even better. They’re so cute, so eager to help like their father :( It starts off as something small, a little messy handwritten letter or a drawing of what looks like their mother. Once at the ripe ages of 5, 7, and 9? Suddenly, you wake up to the sound of laughter in the kitchen and a mess of dough and flour all over the kitchen counter. Some anniversaries, it will be bickering over who gets the window seat on the upcoming flight that your husband booked.

Dad!Shouto is DEFINITELY 100% the type of father to always want to make it to school functions to support his kids. As the busy, No. 2 hero, of course, that isn’t always possible

And of course, filming is a MUST. Dad!Shoto has a camera specifically used for filming his children’s achievements. Each one of your kids has a video in the mix.

Dad!Shouto is also the type of father to be out of the country but then fly in last minute and make it as a surprise!!! He tries not to do it often because it’s risky and he might not make it on time due to delays, but if he’s provided the window of opportunity, he’ll take it (and text you beforehand, of course, because mama can keep a secret 😉)

And finally, it’s no surprise that Dad!Shouto 10/10 still wants more mini you’s. Like man 🤨 children are expensive and hard work, not to mention that he’s already got 5!! We know you’re rich sir but five is enough

He can’t help it, his wonderful wife and children overload his heart, giving him meaning to his life and making the traditional house in the pretty, modern gated neighborhood worth coming home to.

Once again, TYSM anon for your support and headcanons!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

[rathayibacter]

Ok so how does one MAKE a tabletop game because this is something I want to try!! Are there good references out there for non-d20 systems or how to balance mechanics yourself?

oooh, hell yeah! honestly the big thing is to just do it, unlike board and video games the gap between idea and execution in ttrpgs is incredibly narrow, so if youve got an idea just start writing stuff down and see where it starts pulling you, where it feels like something's missing, find what excites you and what you feel isn't working. but that's not very specific, so let's get into it!

first off, read games! read weird games! there's tons of free ttrpgs on itch, lots of people sharing their work here and on other social media, there's 200 word rpgs here and here, and lots of system reference documents written specifically for people looking to hack games. reading other games is a great way to enrich your work whether you're building systems from scratch or working in an existing framework, because every game you read will show you a new way of approaching design problems.

on that note, draw inspiration outside of ttrpgs too! i pull a lot from video, board, and card games in my work, as well as poetry, novels, movies, etc etc etc. im autistic, and ive spent a lot of my life thinking about and dissecting unwritten social rules, so that's another big source of material for me. take your passions, whatever they may be, and put them in your work!

next up, think about the core of your game, sometimes called the minimum viable product. this is whatever the fundamental idea at the heart of your work is, and it's important to keep in mind because it keeps you from spiraling down unnecessary tangents. the core of your game can change, don't get me wrong! in fact, it likely will. what you want to do isn't prevent your work from growing and changing, but have a point of light you can always refer back to and ask "is what im doing important to this game?" you might be surprised by what you find isn't actually as important as you thought at first, and what turns out to be vital to the experience you're going for.

next up, once you start working, don't throw things away. if youre working in a word processor or google docs, it can help to have a section at the bottom of your document that you copy anything youd otherwise delete into. i do the same with my Affinity documents, ill have a few pages i dont export to store all my scraps. i know other folks who keep a dedicated scraps document that they use across projects. whatever works for you! the reason you do this is twofold: it makes it easier to cut things if you know you can always put it back later if you change your mind, and it gives you a lot of raw material that you can pull from in the future. months or years from now, you might find yourself looking to fill a gap in a new design and realize that some cool toy you set aside is exactly what you were looking for.

lastly, i wanna strongly encourage you to practice finishing things. that's often the hardest part for people, cuz we have a lot more experience starting projects than finishing them. here id like to once again direct you to 200 word rpgs, because that strict limit means you wind up with a finished first draft really quickly, and the rest of it is polishing and editing. once you've finished some bite-sized projects, you'll have a better idea of what it entails, what parts you're good at and what parts you struggle with, when to keep working and when to cut yourself off. i find it really helpful to add arbitrary limitations and deadlines on my work because that helps me push myself to finish something when otherwise i'd just keep adding and tweaking, but you'll find what works best for you!

[angels-hideaway]

Left astray

Sevika x fem!reader

cw: homelessness, implied off page parental abuse, alcohol, sort of suicidal thoughts? Reader is underweight and trying to gain more, so if weight is a sensitive subject steer clear!

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND AVOID IF ANYTHING IS TRIGGERING❤️

This was it. You were dying. You probably should feel sad, vengeful, or desperate to cling to life, but you just didn’t. At least dying would remove you from the miserable existence that is life.

Homeless, starving, and dirty, you’ve just been rotting away on the streets of Zaun. Even in your final moments, you can’t even look up at the sky for some comfort. You only see smog, neon, and more desolate buildings.

You can’t help but grin. This is pathetic. You’re pathetic. As you finally close your eyes, something or someone interrupts your pitiful death. “Hey. You alright?” You open your eyes. Someone is looming over your cadaverous form, and they squat down next to you.

“I have water if you want.” It’s a woman. She looks stern, but there’s a hint of concern in her face. “I want to die.” Is all you mutter out. She sighs, digs in her pocket, and takes out a cigarette. After lighting it, she sits down next to you. “I get it. I used to think I did too. Watching my home, and the people who live here get trapped in situations like yours..”

“I’m not looking for sympathy.” You say dryly. “That’s fine… But It’s not..I can’t just walk away knowing you’ll be dead by tomorrow.” You cautiously peek at her. “Why? I don’t know you. And I’m sure you don’t go around saving every homeless nobody.” She takes a drag. “You’re right. I don’t… but maybe I should. Its them I’m fighting for anyways..”

Fighting for? What is this lady talking about?…You brush it off and speak again. “what are you gonna do with me?” “Hold still…” Before you can even comprehend it, She lifts you up and starts walking. You’re too weak to even protest, and let the rhythm of her footsteps lull you to sleep.

  🎀🐇╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗🐇🎀

You wake up on a tattered looking couch covered by a soft blanket. Something’s strange. You’re wearing a large t-shirt, your skin is clean, and your hair is damp. Have you been bathed? You’re still nearly skin and bones, but you feel a lot better. The apartment you’re in smells of smoke and stale air. Like whoever lives in it doesn’t live in it too often.

There’s a small paper on a coffee table in front of you. It has writing on it, and looks like it was left for you to read. Bold of the author to assume you had enough of an education to read. You did, but only because of your mother. She hated you now. Being reminded of her only caused more pain, so you avoided anything related to her. That included reading.

Nevertheless, you pick up the note and read

Hey, whatever your name is. I don’t mind you crashing at my place since you seem pretty harmless. I’m Sevika, and yes I did give you a bath, no, I didn’t do anything to you. I couldn’t have you smelling like shit and laying all over my stuff. Eat whatever you want, stay out of my closet, and I’ll be back by evening. I’ll know if you fucked around with anything.

Sevika’s handwriting is surprisingly pretty for her reputation around here. In your delirious state, you hadn’t realized that it was her you were talking to. Silco’s guard dog, the Scary Lady, or Murder Machine. You heard all of those less than favorable names referring to her.

But here you were, in her shirt, sleeping on her couch, and being invited to stay till you picked yourself up. What had caused such a random change in her character? Unless she’s just a nice woman and everyone else has her all wrong, this is pretty uncharacteristic. Maybe you looked so pathetic she pitied you.

That evening came fast. The door opening and slamming shut made you freeze mid fridge-raid. “You’re up…” Is all Sevika says as she strides over to you. With a half eaten apple in your hand, you can’t find any words for her. “Not talking anymore? That’s fine. Can I at least know your name?” Your name feels strange and unfamiliar coming from your lips. You haven’t said it in ages. When your priority is just to survive, names aren’t really important.

“Alright. If you want, I can order you something when I pick up my takeout.” She’s giving you dinner now too? You nod eagerly before you even notice. Your stomach growls obnoxiously. “Sorry…” you mutter. She doesn’t reply, and just goes to sit on the couch.

Dinner is awkward. You’re sitting across from her, while trying not to wolf down the greasy, delicious, fat filled burger in front of you. Sevika is wearing reading glasses while combing through an array of documents. Every so often, her eyes look over you just to see what you’re doing.

Once you’ve fed yourself enough to slow down, you try and break the silence. “So uhm…why are you doing this? You’re not exactly known around for being charitable…” Sevika lifts her gaze and takes off her reading glasses. She’s not looking in your direction when she responds. “I guess I just…you…reminded me of someone. Someone from a long time ago.”

What kind of response is that? “And the whole reason I do what I do is to help people like you.” She has a voice that grounds you. There’s no feeling uncertain around such a confident woman. “But don’t go getting any ideas. This doesn’t mean you can just do whatever you want.” You’re still confused. Why you? Why today?

That night, you’re sleeping on the couch. Sevika is confidently sleeping in her bed, snoring like a freight train. She knows you wouldn’t dare try anything, given her reputation for breaking limbs. When sleep finally comes, your dreams turn to nightmares. Violent nightmares calling you back to your past. Normally, shivering in a cardboard box would keep them at bay.

You see your mother on that day. screaming at you with enraged purple eyes, trembling, with purple scars crawling all over her body. It took everything from you. Your life, your mother, your home…You wake up in a cold sweat, crying out and wiping tears from your face. Everything’s spinning and you let out a weak whimper. Suddenly, there’s a hand on your back, rubbing in firm circles.

“You’re alright…not out there in the rain anyways..” It’s Sevika. she’s trying her best to comfort you, but you can tell it’s not something she’s used to doing. You don’t even care. You bury your face in her chest and hug her close, crying and gasping from the awful memory.

Sevika is frozen. she seems unsure of what to do with you. One hand rests on your head, and her bionic arm finds your back. “Not so blunt now…Sorry. Too soon.” She remarks. You center yourself, and pull back from her feeling a little embarrassed. “Sorry I woke you…” “ S’alright.”

She sits there with you on the couch until you fall back asleep…

🎀🐇 ╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗🐇🎀

It’s been one week since you first arrived at Sevika’s apartment. You’ve gained a little weight back, but the nightmares still terrorize you. Sevika’s picked up on the way you flinch when startled, or how uncomfortable you get when she smokes weed or drinks heavily.

It’s clear to her that you have a negative history with substances, so she starts to limit her alcohol when you’re around, and she’ll only smoke on the balcony. You’re worried that you’re being a burden to her. One night, you see her smoking on the balcony, and step outside with her.

She doesn’t say anything, but raises an eyebrow as her way of asking: “What’s up?” You lean your elbows on the railing. “You know… you don’t have to change your lifestyle for me. Letting me just be here even though I’m a stranger is enough.” Sevika takes a drag. “Here in the undercity, it’s important that we stick together. You needed help, so I decided to help you. I’m not going to pry into your damage, but if cutting back on my bad habits makes you more comfortable, I’m fine with that.” She smiles, and faces you. “Besides, having a pretty girl for a roommate ain’t so bad, bunny rabbit.”

You can’t even focus on the fact that she just called you pretty. “Bunny rabbit?” She chuckles. “You’re skittish as hell. M’scared you’ll just faint from shock one of these days.” She’s not wrong about that. You’re used to always needing to be on high alert. Every sound could mean danger.

You only feel more guilty. “Sorry…” your voice cracks embarrassingly. Sevika’s smile drops and she looks over at you. “Oh- I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to hurt your feelings... No use feeling bad about it. Let’s just work on getting better, m’kay?” She presses her cigarette to the railing to out it, and puts one hand on your shoulder, leading you back inside. “Let’s go to bed, it’s late.”

As time goes by, you start to bond with Sevika. She’ll come home, tell you all about her day, eat dinner with you, and talk until you fall asleep. The nightmares ease too. If you do have one, she’s right there to tell you that everything’s okay.

One afternoon, Sevika gets back early with a shopping bag. You get up off of the couch to greet her. “Sevika? What’s that?” She smirks, and pulls out a pretty dress with spaghetti straps. “Since you came along, I haven’t been to the Last Drop in a while. So, I thought you might wanna come with.” You take the dress from her and admire it. “Sevika… it’s so pretty! But I don’t know… I haven’t been to a bar.” She puts a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “You’ll be fine with me. Trust me. As long as everybody knows you’re with me, you’re safe.”

So, you decide to go with her. When you were getting dressed, Sevika spotted you looking at yourself nervously in the mirror. “Hey… is it too much? I didn’t really know what you’d like…” you turn to her. “No it’s pretty! I’m just… not used to this.” Sevika goes into her closet and comes back, draping a leather jacket over your shoulders. “You can have this for tonight if it makes you more comfortable.”

You feel your face heat up. “…thank you.” She smiles, and pats your shoulder. “No problem bunny rabbit.” The whole walk to the Last Drop, Sevika keeps you close. She glares at anyone who even looks in your direction, and yells threats back at cat-callers. When you finally reach the place, she opens the door for you. “Ladies first.” You smile. “You’re a lady too y’know.” She rolls her eyes playfully.

You weren’t sure what to expect at the bar. Sitting next to Sevika while she throws snide comments at the other card players definitely wasn’t it. She’s winning big time though. Laughing and squeezing your shoulder every time she sweeps another pile of chips her way.

Around an hour later, Sevika is definitely tipsy, but her instincts are sharp as ever. For some reason, more people keep coming to play against her even though she can’t stop winning. This next game looks especially tough. For a moment, you think it’s finally over before she reveals her winning deck. Her opponents jaw drops. Sevika lets out a booming laugh and just pulls you onto her lap like you’re the prize.

“Thought I was in trouble there, didn’t chya, cutie?” She laughs again while you register being seated on her muscular thigh. The other players mutter curses and storm off. “Wasn’t that fun? You didn’t drink any though.” Her large hand caresses your waist.

“I don’t like alcohol.” You respond curtly. Sevika lets you get off of her before she grabs the large sack of her winnings. “Let’s head home. Yeah? sweet thing?” You’re surprised at how casual she’s being with you. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but the Sevika you’ve heard about isn’t nice and flirty in the slightest.

When you finally arrive at the apartment, Sevika crashes on the couch instantly. She seems like the type to be able to hold her alcohol, but she was being a little excessive today. After all that, you’re tired too. You take off the dress she gave you and slip on one of her shirts. Climbing back onto the couch, you snuggle against her human arm, and let sleep take you.

You wake up slowly. the sunshine is filtering in the room through the window. Sevika’s arm is draped over you like a blanket. It’s heavy. Given your current state, you’re not strong enough to move it. Not that you’d want to anyways. Sevika is usually up earlier than you. Perhaps she’s got a hangover.

With a big yawn, Sevika finally wakes up. She doesn’t say anything to you, despite the rather intimate sleeping arrangement. She stands up, ruffles your hair, and goes to turn on her coffee machine. “You could’ve taken the bed.” She finally says from across the apartment.

“I…didn’t want to.” Is all you can think to say. Sevika walks towards the couch again and plops down next to you. “Why not?” Her gray eyes stare unyielding into your own. “…just didn’t wanna.” You dont want to admit that you wanted to be on the couch with her. You haven’t known each other for very long. Not long enough to cuddling like you’d known her for years. “Okay, bunny rabbit..”

🎀🐇 ╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗🐇🎀

Sevika was already kind to you before, but now she’s treating you like a pet. When she goes to the store, you know she’s coming back with something for you. Whether it’s a candy, new clothes, or just something she thinks you’d like.

She starts to touch you more too. She says it’s to “help you get used to it.” But every time she brushes her hand against your cheek or holds you by your waist, your heart flutters.

You’ve been living with Sevika for over a month now. Standing on her scale, you wait nervously to see your weight. Healthy. Still some way to go, but you’re not skin and bone anymore. Your cheeks look a little fuller, your skin a little more smooth, and there’s a glimmer again in your eyes.

The door slams shut, making you nearly jump out of your skin. It’s Sevika, but she doesn’t call for you like normal. Curiously, you exit the bathroom to see what’s happened. She’s standing with her hands pressed against he counter, hackles raised, and her muscles are tensed. “Sev?” You approach her and place a hand on her shoulder blade.

“Hey bunny…” She finally acknowledges you. She speaks to you in a soft, low voice that makes your breath catch in your throat. “Sorry if I scared ya…Know how you are. Today was just…Fuck, bunny. I don’t feel like chatting about it.” She pulls you in a hug. It’s sudden, but not unwelcome.

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to…” you say to her. She sighs, goes over to the couch, and takes off her arm. “Come’ere.” You join her on the couch and she pulls you closer with her right arm. “You know…things have been better round’ere since you showed up.” “Really?” She smiles at you, running her human hand through your hair. “Yeah… if I didn’t have you, I’d probably be de-stressing in some other awful way.” You raise an eyebrow at the vague response. “Like what?”

A teasing grin forms on her face. “I dunno.. maybe by beating up some thugs or even a couple sessions at Babette’s.” Your face contorts into one of shocked surprise. Sevika notices and chuckles. “Yeah I get around, bunny.”

There was no doubt in your mind that it wasn’t true. After all, she’s an incredibly handsome woman. Broad muscular shoulders, and a face that could make your heart melt and your blood run cold depending on its expression. You sometimes fantasized that there could be something more with her, but demeaning thoughts told you that you were only a charity case for her.

She couldn’t truly care about you, because nobody ever did. Sevika notices the sudden shift in your expression. “Hey bunny… you alright?” “Yeah…I’m fine.” She senses you don’t want to be questioned further, and leaves back into her seat. “If you need something, I’m here. Kay?”

You nod, pushing away the thoughts of your yearning, and self hatred, opting to enjoy some peace for the first time in a while.