#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[misfitgirlwrites]

Lucifer Having A Crush On You/How Would He React?

I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'M NOT--

It's time for my fictional love and life and all I hold dear in my daydreams. Bitches, bros, nonbinary hoes, and genderfluid fucks, I present to you the Big Dick in Charge

I may reference works that I've read and when I do I'll drop their @ and link to their story it is law that you read it if you read mine, I don't make the rules

CW: none, slightly angsty but nothing too intense!

Alright, doves, this is post-season one. Lucifer now resides in the hotel with everyone and is slowly adjusting to being graced with Alejandro's Alastor's presence every day.

Let's be honest, our baby pays attention but puts in minimal effort. Saying that the days went by in a blur would be an understatement. Even conversations would be forgotten after a few short moments. On to the next task. Full focus on this thing. Once that's done? Well onto the next task! No tasks? Free time to spend with Charlie!

Things would start slow, and to really interact, you'd most likely start to approach him first. Maybe you've spent long enough watching the blond anxiously bounce around the hotel and graciously give himself a bit too much for even the Big Boss of Hell.

A timid approach from you, offering to help with whatever he's currently doing. Maybe you make snacks for everyone in the hotel and hand him his personally :)

And so it begins! A greeting here, a greeting there, slightly awkward conversations that slowly start to feel less forced with the little information you learn about each other along the way.

It's...nice! Refreshing! Lucifer would be more excited than anything and talking to you would become a part of his regular routine without much thought on the matter. You'd occasionally be on his mind just a little more, and he'd start to seek you out himself too.

I know you're already seeking him out. Bitch I'M seeking him out.

Helping with chores around the hotel quickly turns into simply enjoying the other's company.

One day you gift him his very own ceramic duck! You could have paid for it from somewhere or made it yourself.

Either way, he'd fucking LOVE it! Honestly, if you decide to try your hand at making it, he'd love it even more with all the rough edges and little bumps (it was made out of love for my babies who never touched clay in their lives)

In response, please expect many gifts in return. I like to think it's been a while since he's gotten a genuine gift like this

(Bonus headcanon: Charlie will see this and will come to you the next day with a list of things she wants to gift him and you two are unofficially officially the Buy Lucifer Anything Duck-Themed duo)

Lucifer loves how you react when he gifts you your very own rubber duck. Your smile and happiness always seemed contagious to him. It only led to him making/getting you more things.

You will have a rubber duck collection by the end of this, but what can you really say? Each one of them is based on something you mentioned before. A movie character, a book character, a cartoon character, even friends or family members if they were mentioned. The gesture is way too sweet for you to turn down, even if it is the 30th duck you've received.

Now prepare for what I like to call the "get along t-shirt" phase but both parties are willing LMAO.

Lucifer will be by your side as long as you'll accept the company and if you're reading this and we brain the same, that will be all the time.

I love the GenZ!Reader memes and fics. Someone show this man bacon pancakes and if it was already done, SHOW ME.

Between his relationship with Charlie and with you, Lucifer actually feels the need and wants to be a little more present bit by bit. He notices that he is spending less time in his head, but he continues on in fear of fucking it up if he thinks too hard about it.

So instead he'll 100% focus on the little familiarity of happiness, as small as those moments may be sometimes. This is EXACTLY why the thought of him potentially feeling romantic interest again goes right over his head.

Who notices first, you ask? Charlie, of course. You slowly but surely became one of his main topics in conversation, it wasn't hard for her to pick up on it and ask.

Baby boy would straight up deny it at first. Him?? Liking someone else??? LMAO, am I right? Of course, after he does this, he'll have the time to actually pay attention to his actions.

So then he'll notice how excited he is every morning knowing that you'll be the first face he sees. He'll notice how he managed to fit you into any task he had to do. When he'd get lunch for himself and Charlie he'd have the automatic thought of making something for you as well. Even when the day was over, he'd be thinking about spending the next day with you. To be frank, you were constantly on his mind. 

Once he notices it's a big mental "fuck". Nothing about you is wrong of course, it's him, or so he thinks.

Let's start with the elephant in the room, or shall I say the ring on his finger lmao

In Lucifer's mind, he's still married technically. Even thinking about it in a technical term was a new development and it made him feel absolutely horrible. Lilith left, sure, but who knows what happened? Regardless of how he felt, he didn't want to hurt her.

But at the same time what about him? Lucifer hasn't been happy in a long time and he's finally building that again, not just with Charlie, but with you as well. He didn't want to just cut you out, he didn't want to hurt you either.

Plus, did you even like him? How would he even approach you? If he wanted to, even after thinking about everything.

Who was he kidding, of course, he still wanted you!

@liveontelevision *drops to my knees and bows* they worded it extremely well here and if you're reading this but you haven't read this already or you clicked the link then clicked back here, go back and read it. I don't care how long it is. Do the thing then come back.

Welcome back. It was good, wasn't it? I know.

The only awkward period for you two is the week-long contemplation of everything (half him attempting not to do what he always does when stressed but by the time he realizes he already made like 30 ducks--)

He would clearly go out of his way to either try and talk to you or avoid you. Or a cute mixture of both where he makes a scene approaching you, realizes he's not ready yet, then makes a scene so he can disappear *finger guns*

A little crisis here, a few little rubber ducks there, and a looooonnnggg conversation with Charlie and Maggie Vaggie.

Those are the ingredients to a semi-stable Lucifer with enough bravado to talk to you normally again.

He'd apologize for the times he basically pulled a Houdini in your face and he'd explain himself fully, all while also confessing his love for you.

It's choppy, it's fast-paced in some areas, and the poor blond was ready to disappear at any given moment, but that's what made it so real for you.

The weight that's lifted off of him couldn't be described, and neither could the joy that welled in him the moment he saw your beautiful smile and heard nothing but your acceptance and love.

What an emotional roller-coaster, am I right?

Lucifer Taglist: @alastorssimp @saints-wrapped-in-plastic @heart-of-the-morningstar

Requests are open! If you'd like to be tagged in future Lucifer or Hazbin Hotel content, please let me know! My asks and DMs are open to all!

[spookychick78]

Chucky One Shot: Request

Chucky X Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, language, (Jade's outfit is different from the movie for ✨dramatic effect✨) and oh, captives? Anyway, let's get into it.

Word Count: 2756

"Jesus, (y/n). How many times to I have to fuckin' explain this, just-," he paused mid sentence with his rubber, or plastic, you'd never quite figured out what material you were both made of at this point, but nonetheless, his hand rested on his forehead with a frustrated sigh, "you're just gonna repeat after me, got it?"

Your captives were bound, lying flat on their backs with their eyes wide. Muffled pleas flew endlessly from their gagged mouths as they struggled desperately to find a way out of the present situation. It was quite impressive, you had to admit, that Chucky, who was no more than two, maybe three feet tall at most, had managed to reduce two fully grown adults to such a state. You'd never say it aloud, his ego didn't require further stroking at this point, he knew very well he was beyond good at what he did. In fact, he'd gotten you both there, all the way to Hackensack's darkened and if you being honest, unsettling graveyard with less struggle than you'd expected. The wind whipped past the two of you, nearly knocking you off of your plastic feet as you stood atop your soon to be new body with a frown. You weren't quite sure if it was pity you felt as you studied Jade's furrowed brows and bloodshot eyes, though perhaps it should have been, it was uncertainty. Specifically about whether or not you wanted to be her, well, be in her body.

"Isn't there anyone else we could find to do this?" You asked, spurring on another disgruntled sound out of your partner.

"You've got to be kiddin' me," Chucky muttered as his grip tightened around the necklace with the oversized rhomboidal amulet hanging from the chain, "is that really why you're being such a pain in the ass? Looks?"

Jade was pretty, in the traditional sense, but in your opinion such childlike features would be difficult to acclimate to. You tried to picture adorning her body in black, deep reds, your usual gothic attire and cringed. She was nothing compared to the body he'd destroyed, your body.

"Pardon me for wanting a little more class," you muttered back, earning another muffled yell from below you, "something I'm sure you've never heard of."

His artificial features contorted to form an incredulous expression as he shook his head, "You know, I'm starting to think you want me to kill you and don't think it hasn't crossed my mind to."

"Ditto, babe," you replied with a smirk, "it would only be fair."

"Look, can we save the threats until we can make good on them in real bodies? Let's just get this over with," he retorted as he situated himself between Jesse and Jade, "then I'll really give you something to bitch about."

You hopped off with a huff and folded your dwarfed arms, or tried to. They were just short enough to make such a simple movement tedious. Perhaps you could get used to such plain looks of it meant you'd have the freedom of actual limbs again.

"Ade due Damballa. Give me the power I beg of you," he began with his arms outstretched and an exaggerated tone.

You allowed yourself a brief glance around as he continued, finally reaching parts of the chant you'd never heard before. Usually, some interruption or another would halt him, but not this night. He'd made it far enough to render their eyes shut, their pleas silenced and their bodies still. It was actually working. You felt your heart rate quicken as words continued to spill from his mouth and you drew closer to your new form. You felt it, you were melding with her. For a brief moment her memories, her experiences clouded your vision in such quick succession it gave you whiplash. Then, everything went silent and your vision vanished as a pale white that seemed to grow brighter, more intense with each passing second overcame you until it turned black. With the darkness came feeling, a subtle tingle that pricked at the tips of your fingers and toes. The sensation spread and tingling soon turned to a strange, throbbing warmth. You tested it, eyes still consumed by shadows, but movement came surprisingly easy. You felt your arm raise, it was longer than before and when you rested your hand on your face you felt the almost forgotten, but easily remembered texture of flesh. You furrowed your brow and let out a groan as you tried to rid yourself of the fog that filled your new head.

"Holy shit," you heard beside you.

As you began to blink your eyes open, you felt him shoot up. Vision came slow, but eventually the haze lifted and you found it within your ability to sit up. Your legs were the first thing you observed and from that particular angle, you had to admit you were quite pleased with them. They were long with silky smooth skin. Skin you thought to yourself as you let your hand wander down your knee. You'd gotten so used to the hardened structure you'd been for what seemed like ages you'd almost forgotten what it felt like to touch yourself and really feel it. Finally, you lifted your head to see Chucky was doing the same with a baffled smile on his face.

"It worked," he said with a laugh as he stretched his arms out and shook his head in awe, "it actually fuckin' worked!"

Before, you hadn't been sure if Jesse's body would suit Chucky. He was so boyish, the all American type, which was so uncharacteristic for the man you'd known before the doll, but as you studied him then, it worked. It was deceiving, you'd never think he'd be capable of committing the crimes he'd grown so addicted to if you looked at that sweet face under those tousled brown curls, but it really worked. He started to undo his belt, which made you chuckle, you weren't quite sure what he was doing, but it wasn't long until you put two and two together. He pulled the fabric outwards as he lowered his head to study within them.

"Oh, you're gonna love this," he said with a proud nod, "kid was packin'."

"Right, cause you would know," you said with quick wit and a smirk, "what do you have to compare it to, Ken?"

"Hey, we both know I made a pretty good Ken," he said before he finally looked up at you.

His brows raised when he noticed you were still on the ground, legs just slightly tilted to the side with your hands on the behind you to keep yourself upright. Jade had been wearing a white dress that night and it's fabric had been blown by the wind to steadily climb further up your thighs.

"If I'm bein' honest, you look more like Barbie now, doll," he said as he sauntered closer to you.

You quickly replaced the edge of the dress to cover yourself, "Don't even start, Charles. You threatened kill me again not even ten minutes ago."

He lowered himself to the ground just a few feet in front of you and began to crawl closer as he spoke, "Oh, that? Come on, you know me (y/n). I'm all threats, I only bite if you ask nicely or piss me off."

"Well, I'm not asking," you said as his hand found your foot and steadily brushed its way upwards.

You wanted to deny him, he deserved it, but you weren't sure if you could deny yourself, that was the problem. His skin on yours, though it was just a small fraction of his body, felt heavenly. It had been so long since you'd felt human touch that when he bent your leg forward to rest his check against the inside of your knee, an internal throb forced you to further doubt your ability to say no.

"No," he whispered as he started to press his lips to your bare skin, "but you did piss me off."

He bit down then, not enough to hurt, but enough to make that thrum between your legs more prominent. You quickly extended your leg and pressed your foot to the center of his chest, barring him from touching you momentarily and he let out a wicked chuckle.

"I'm not buyin' it, (y/n). You can't tell me you don't wanna test these out," he said as he pushed your leg aside and forced both open this time, "besides, you've never been difficult to convince."

"Shut up," you snapped, but your eyes gave you away as they dipped to his new pair of lips that were curved into a devilish grin and parted just enough to display a row of pristinely white teeth.

"Make me," he said as he lowered his head, careful to keep his eyes on yours so he could watch you relent, "or I'll make you."

The wind betrayed you and blew your dress up again, granting him access to your core, which he wasted no time in drawing closer to. You felt his breath, hot and inviting, billow between the soft flesh of your thighs as one of his hands squeezed your hip. He observed the modest white panties hidden underneath with a laugh.

"Real cute, (y/n)," he said as he reached for the knife beside his former body, "but these aren't really your style, are they?"

He was quick to cut them, tossing the ruined fabric to the side and leaving you exposed to the elements. It was cold, but not for long. His mouth returned and with it, warmth that had you melting as you grit your teeth begrudgingly and gave in. Your head fell back when you felt his tongue glide up the inside of your thigh, tormenting you with your own want. His teeth soon followed as he resumed his nipping in an attempt to make you whine, which worked better than you hoped.

"Oh, for fucks sake," you breathed out with desperation.

His laughter only confirmed that was exactly what he wanted, "That doesn't sound like a no anymore."

"You know it's not," you said as you tensed under his tight grip on your thigh and tried to push yourself up to meet his mouth.

He hummed against your skin then, forcing another whine from you when the vibrations almost gave you needed, but not quite, "Yeah, I know, but you haven't asked nicely."

"Charles, please."

"Eh, I don't know. I don't think you deserve it," he said as he hovered torturously over where you wanted him, allowing his lips to just barely graze the soft flesh with each word he uttered, "maybe I should let you suffer the consequences of being such a brat."

You whipped your head back up and the desperation on your face only served to satisfy him, "You'd only be teasing yourself and you know it," you spat down at him in a weak attempt to get what your way.

"Maybe, but I'm sure there's plenty of chicks who'd be down for the cause with this guy," he said smugly.

"Fuck you," you said with narrowed eyes before you went to push yourself up.

Chucky, however, made sure you stayed in place. With both arms, he pulled you inwards by your legs, which forced you flat on your back. Your head hit the ground with a thud and in an instant, he was on top of you.

"Did I say you could get up?"

His eyes were darker now, threatening, but your body continued to betray you as you looked up at him. Desperate had become an understatement as you took note of the way he was pressed against you. From what you could tell, he hadn't been wrong about what was hidden inside of those jeans and it made you squirm.

"Now," he started as his fingers found rest between the two of you to toy with your entrance, "I said ask nicely."

You felt his thumb settle right where you wanted it, but it remained still. He wouldn't dare grant you the satisfaction of friction so soon. Instead, he left it motionless as he inched his index and middle finger inside of you, painfully slow. You wanted to curse him when he laughed again, amused by how wet you were.

"Normally, I'd count that, but I wanna hear you say it," he said as he dug in deeper, "how badly do you want me to fuck you?"

"I need you to," you whined pitifully as your back arched into his stiff fingers in search of relief.

"I can tell," he said as he abruptly shoved them as deep as they could go, "but, go on."

A moan escaped you as your head dug into the grass below you due to how severely your neck was arched, "Please, whatever you want me to say, do, I don't care. I'll do it, just please."

"I kinda wanna do this all night and we both know I could," he said as he watched you, intrigued as he tested your limits.

No matter how subtle the movement, he got a reaction for each one. He stared hungrily as he listened to your breath quicken, but your expression wasn't nearly pained enough. That was the deciding factor for Chucky, it was all the incentive he needed to hook his fingers upwards and massage that spot that ached for solace.

"Much better," he said when your brows furrowed and your mouth hung open further to silently plead for more.

But just as he started to find a forgiving rhythm, he withdrew, leaving you with an emptiness that could have brought tears to your eyes. Words of protest had just begun to leave your mouth before he tugged you forward again, this time filling you when your bare skin met his. Some foul words left his when he took note of how tight you were with furrowed brows of his own.

"You're lucky it ain't my first time," he teased before he lent down to press a sloppy kiss to your open mouth, "cause fuck, that's a tight fit."

His hand stayed firm on your jaw, holding you in place as he rocked into you and in your legs, in turn, tightened around his waist.

"Now, where was I," he said before he slipped his fingers back into place to rub circles over that poor little nub as he took what he wanted, thrust after thrust.

He had you spinning by then, so wound up it wasn't funny and it didn't take him long to bring you to the edge. He'd practically had you there with his fingers alone, but this was far better than you could have expected. You arms dangled loosely around his neck, hands grappling for purchase, but at his pace you found none. You settled to cling to his free arm that held him up, digging your nails into it as your body clenched tighter around him. You were right there and more than fearful he'd deny you a release given how the entire ordeal started, so you didn't hesitate to beg in advance.

"Please, don't stop," you cried out, clinging to him as you lingered on the edge, ready to jump, "don't you dare stop."

"Stop?"

"No," you said quickly, tightening your legs around him further, "don't."

His breath had grown ragged and despite his teasing, you could tell stopping wasn't a thought in his mind.

"Only cause," he stuttered as his hips began to lose there even pace, "you asked so-"

He leant his head back in an attempt to stifle a moan of his own, but thankfully it escaped, filling your ears with bliss, "nicely," he finished huskily.

That sound of his strained voice had you careening over that edge you'd found and he followed suit, rocking himself through his own high as he let himself spill into you. A slew of curses left his mouth as lewd cries escaped your own and your body went limp. Your hand, that had drawn blood from his arm with your nails, fell stiff on the ground beside you once he finally ceased his movements. He hovered over you, head hung as his shoulders trembled with labored breath.

"Shit," you heard him breath out before he lifted his gaze back to your own, "how was that for a test drive?"

By the look of your sweat laced face, flushed with lidded eyes, he nodded his head, satisfied. And you, well, he didn't leave you hanging, that was for sure.

[castkorb]

You said you were playing the first FT game and now im kinda interested in getting it myself (if it goes on sale). Can you give me some thoughts on it when your a decent bit through it? Thanks

Okee~! Long post ahead

I'll be fully bluntly honest the main (and mostly only) reason I bought it was because Sting and Rogue are playable characters lmao

I'm like halfway there, I haven't advanced much into the story after unlocking stingue as I spend more time running around with the sillies instead of actually progressing into the game but alas.

Reviewing what I've played so far: it's a mediocre game, but like I was expecting that already so it didn't come as a surprise.

Story-wise you play throughout the Games and Tartaros arcs, with like half of the scenes missing because not all the characters appearing in the arc have rendered models so they just, skipped their parts. A few exceptions exist only in dialogue –not even voiced dialogue by the way, just the square of text ☠– so yeah don't expect an amazing adaptation of the story.

(By the way do you know those fully rendered, movie-like cutscenes these type of games usually have? You would expect important moments in the story to have this style of cutscenes right, such as idk the games' finale, or future Rogue's defeat or fuck idk the main character's fights right?

Unsurprisingly and kind of funny, only scenes featuring the girls have these type of cutscenes, making sure to have a full shot of their boobs in the process, I love this series!)

What I'm personally enjoying the most: the side quests. All of the playable characters have their own story quests and the progression system involves ranking up the guild by doing commissions in which your team gains friendship points that level up and unlock even more side stories between them.

Essentially you have at least 3 side quests with every combination of two characters plus their own separate story quests.

This leads to lots of interactions between characters and lots of silly moments that I personally enjoyed a lot, they added good depth to a lot of the relationships and honeslty I'm just a huge fan of little extra bits that exist outside of the main story and characters that usually don't interact doing so. (There's an entire side quest of Rogue being jealous of Sting spending too much time on Fairy Tail fyi, as a bonus <3)

Combat-wise it's cool, if not a little long with attack animations that you can't skip, the mechanic of doing unison raids with any pair of characters you like was dope, lots of other ways of making combined attacks and lots of upgrades available if you like to grind like me.

There's also the photo mode, because what is the point of any game if I can't take silly pictures whenever I want. This is the first game I've played that allows you to just, put all the characters in one frame and pose them however you like, usually it's like 4 at most but here you can just pile everyone in there lmao it's cool.

Idk if you're interested in any DLCs, I know there's a couple that add more playable characters such as Lyon, Levy, Lisanna and idk who else I haven't bought those, what I did buy was the set of Sting and Rogue's skins, obviously. They're cheap but it's three separate skins per playable character (I had to buy six in total) whatever you consider worth it ig. There's a free recolor of each characters' regular suits which are cool, but nothing to cry about.

Like I said before, I knew this game was overall not good but these two bitches have me in a chokehold and I knew I'd buy it at some point, I was dissapointed by some stuff but meh, I'm used to getting dissapointed by this series anyways.

Summarized: Is it a good game? No, am I enjoying it the fuck out of it? Absolutely

[totravelasfriends7433]

Incorrect Quotes

Valkyrie: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess? Melissa: Your life? Valkyrie: I- well yes, but-

Valkyrie: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

Murderer: Any last words? Valkyrie: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.

Melissa: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- Valkyrie: It was me… Melissa: …Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Valkyrie: I am the most responsible person in the group. Melissa: …You just set the kitchen on fire. Valkyrie: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.

Fletcher: Cronch. Fletcher: You hear that? That's the sound of me eating sticks. Melissa: No, don’t— Fletcher: Too late.

Fletcher: I love you. Valkyrie: I love me too.

Fletcher: Big day today, Valkyrie. holds up two shirts Mustard stain or ketchup stain? Valkyrie: Mustard– looks less like blood.

Valkyrie: I hope no one lowkey hates me. Valkyrie: Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being. Valkyrie: Go big or go home.

Fletcher: ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT. Fletcher: DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.

Valkyrie: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Fletcher: Why are we so fucking awesome? Valkyrie: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

Fletcher: Hugs Valkyrie from behind Fletcher: Tucks Valkyrie's hair behind their ear Fletcher, whispering: Eat all the frosted animal crackers again and they'll never find your body.

Tsu: Do you support gay rights? Shinsou: I’m literally gay. Valkyrie: He's avoiding the question!

Valkyrie, to Shinsou: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice. Shinsou: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada. Valkyrie: You just told me you're pregnant. Tsu: Congratulations Shinsou, you're glowing!

Valkyrie: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT! Tsu: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone. Valkyrie: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch? Tsu: Somehow that's worse.

Valkyrie: I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed for you. Shinsou: This is a sports-related injury. It makes me look cool! Valkyrie: Tripping over a basketball on your way to the bathroom is not cool!

Tsu: Shinsou, Valkyrie, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Shinsou, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Valkyrie is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Valkyrie: I love you too :)

Shinsou: I wanna sleep for 40 hours. Valkyrie: You know that's called a coma, right? Shinsou: Shinsou: That sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

Tsu: Isn’t it weird how we pay money to see other people? Shinsou: You mean movies? Valkyrie: Concerts? Momo: Prostitutes? Tsu: Wha…N-no, I mean glasses, what the fuck-

Valkyrie, dramatically: They called me a fool. Momo, sick of Valkyrie's shit: They weren’t wrong.

Valkyrie: falls down the stairs Momo: Are you okay? Tsu: Stop falling down the stairs! Midoriya: How’d the ground taste?

Valkyrie: I do two things and two things only. I devastate sorry motherfuckers, and get shit done as an awesome leader.

Shinsou: Eat shit and die, Midoriya!!! Midoriya: Eat shit and live, Shinsou.

Midoriya: Remember everyone, violence is never the answer. Valkyrie: You're right, Midoriya.. Violence can't be the answer. Midoriya: Correct, Valkyrie. Now, on to the next lesso- Valkyrie: Violence is the question. Valkyrie: And the answer is yes! Midoriya: Valkyrie, no!!

Hatsume: If there’s one thing I learned from Midoriya, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

Store Worker: Would a “Valkyrie” please come to the front desk? Valkyrie, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to Midoriya and Hatsume: I believe they belong to you? Midoriya and Hatsume, simultaneously: We got lost. Valkyrie: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

Shinsou: What do I get? Valkyrie: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death. Shinsou: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one. Valkyrie: It won't be you. Shinsou: I'll get my coat.

Shinsou: walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone Fletcher: Hey, Shinsou, how was your day? Shinsou: picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Fletcher Hell. Momo, watching this unfold: whispers Who hurt you?

Midoriya, bleeding out on the ground: Blood loss? No, I know exactly where it is.

Tsu: Hatsume noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago. Momo: This reminds me of the Hatsume who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi. Tsu: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Hatsume.

Valkyrie: Is this about me? Fletcher: No. Valkyrie: Then I've lost interest.

[themculibrary]

BAMF!Pepper Potts Masterlist

All Is Fair In Love And War (ao3) - Winterturtle pepper/tony T, 8k

Summary: Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. An engaged couple running one of the biggest companies in the world, living a normal life. Well, as normal as it can get. Both honest in their relationship except for one small detail - their secret identities as top assassins.

No questions asked. They's how they operate.

When they find each other as their next target, their quest to kill each other gets interrupted by Peter arriving for the weekend. Neither Tony nor Pepper let that stop them; they just take a more subtle approach to leave Peter out of it.

The problem? Peter thinks there's someone after both of them and keeps foiling their attempts.

~~~

Two assassins. One vigilante. Three secret identities meet.

A Long and Winding Road (ao3) - LadyDeBrief pepper/tony M, 4k

Summary: It was, much like he'd told Bruce, a terrible privilege, this power Pepper had over him. That she was aware of that and gave it the due seriousness was one of the reasons he so easily trusted her with it.

Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it (ao3) - Savana_Marlark pepper/tony T, 169k (WIP)

Summary: A snap.

A gauntlet.

A dying man's regret.

It is a dangerous thing to wish with infinity stones on your fist.

Sent back to the sands of Afghanistan, Tony Stark has a world to fix, and a Titan to stop, but he won't be doing it alone.

Can't Go On Without You (ao3) - hopecanbeyoursword pepper/tony G, 3k

Summary: They need all the help they can get to undo Thanos' actions. So Pepper Potts goes into space to bring back Tony and Nebula.

Guardian Angel (ao3) - flyingorfalling pepper/tony G, 3k

Summary: Pepper Potts is assigned to protect Tony Collins, Howard Stark's illegitimate son. Tony has become the target of Amon Stark, his older half brother, who allegedly murdered his father to get millions in inheritance.

His Other Mom (ao3) - betheflame pepper/tony G, 2k

Summary: “Peter, she’s called four times. You can’t avoid this,” May said gently to Peter the day after he got back from London.

“I know,” Peter said. “I’m just…”

“Peter,” May replied. “We talked about this. She’s your last link to Tony and you shouldn’t waste that. She knew him better than anyone, even Happy, so if you have questions, she might just have answers.”

Peter rubbed his hand over his face, jet lag was a bitch even with super powers, and nodded. He went into his room and made the call.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Basically, on the second viewing of FFH, I wondered why no one gave the Owner of SI a heads up that her tech was being used by a stranger.

If You Hurt Him... (ao3) - jordieey natasha/tony N/R, 2k

Summary: It's time Pepper had a talk with one Agent Romanoff.

Like Glitter and Gold (I'll Rise Up) (ao3) - wigglyink pepper/tony G, 1k

Summary: How THAT scene should have ended. Includes Pepper Potts being awesome. Tony doesn't die because i said so.

Living with Eyes Wide Open (ao3) - paxere eventual steve/tony G, 4k

Summary: Steve is trying to get used to the 21st century. The Avengers are trying to become a team. Neither of these things are going well. Pepper has some ideas.

No Superhero (ao3) - anxiousgeek pepper/natasha, past pepper/tony T, 2k

Summary: She’s not a superhero.

But then the tower is on fire and Thor is also on fire and for once Pepper is not on fire.

Project New Hope (ao3) - goingsparebutwithprecision pepper/tony N/R, 4k

Summary: In which Pepper Potts has the worst period pains known to humankind, and deals with them via movie marathons, superheroes, and unnecessary code-names. Only some of these things are Tony's fault.

Search and Rescue (ao3) - SailorChibi pepper/tony T, 4k

Summary: There is no way Pepper Potts is going to let her fiancé die alone in space.

Secret Identities and Super-dads (ao3) - Khentkawes pepper/tony T, 6k

Summary: When armed men attack an elementary school in upstate New York, attempting to kidnap eight-year-old Morgan Stark, no one expects that “Roger the chauffeur” will be the one to take out the bad guys—with some backup from Morgan Stark herself and a very pissed off Pepper Potts.

The public have believed Tony was dead for the past four years, and Tony never expected his big secret would get out like this. He didn’t mean to blow his cover as “Roger the chauffeur.” But when people try to mess with his family, they get what’s coming to them.

Sobriety Chips and Salsa (ao3) - betheflame steve/tony, bucky/natasha M, 7k

Summary: Sure, they all knew Tony was an alcoholic, but he had it basically under control, right?

Right?

Or, the story where he absolutely didn't, but eventually does, and both he and Steve remember the meaning of their vows.

Teach Me (ao3) - RobinsonsWereHere pepper/tony G, 1k

Summary: Pepper Stark has had enough of mourning. Mourning only makes it more difficult to raise a daughter or head a company or be a superhero, or any combination of the three. Ready to put Tony's last gift to her to good use, she turns to a capable friend for help.

The Other Side (ao3) - romeoandjulietyouwish pepper/tony T, 4k

Summary: Thanos snaps his fingers, but Peter Parker doesn't disappear. Tony Stark does.

vigilante shit (ao3) - graveltotempo T, 5k

Summary: People tend to underestimate Virginia 'Pepper' Potts.

Watch the Queen Conquer (ao3) - sirladyknight pepper/tony G, 1k

Summary: (Tony may have been the careless Prince but Pepper was always the Queen.)

Blatant worshipping of the strawberry-blonde CEO that is our glorious Pepper Potts. Or Pepper solves a problem like a boss and is trying to make friends that don't fight evil aliens for a living. Oh, she and Jarvis are BFFs.

with resolution and without remorse (ao3) - LadyCrimsonAndBlack T, 4k

Summary: Pepper Potts is a powerful woman. People just don't really know how much.

(Or, the one in which Pepper is Hela and she does not allow her family to get hurt.)

your wild heart (ao3) - closingdoors pepper/tony G, 804

Summary: A missing scene during the big battle in Endgame. Tony finds a moment to greet Rescue!Pepper.

[lazarus-harp]

okay, so. escape the night : the movie ... watched the video a little while ago and it's only fitting i share my brutally honest thoughts! they'll be put under a read more.

first thing's first, i did kinda see this coming. considering how tight lipped joey's been about calling it s5, i had a feeling it would be called something else which. viola! while it might not be a season whatsoever, i do think chronologically it'll take place after the events of all stars, which makes it the closest we're probably gonna get to a s5. there wasn't any talk of this being a 'spin-off' which is also worth noting.

ah okay so ... not gonna lie, i don't think it was a good move to lead fans on. maybe joey didn't see it like that! but that's kinda how it feels like. all those promos and teasers and everything etn twitter has said was entirely false -- since none of those clips are from the movie and was more so filmed for hype. i truly think joey should've just been honest from the jump instead of building anticipation, and letting people straight up believe we were getting a trailer or an episode today when there's not anything concrete filmed. i don't see how this was a good idea whatsoever! fans would've been eager to contribute even without all the false hype. if we've been around for more content despite the four year hiatus, we'd be willing to help out with a movie. honestly, this news would be way more exciting if fans hadn't been led into expecting something else. i just don't see why they thought this was the best course of action?

this might sound mean but i don't like the idea of fans having a say in the movie, like at all. i get it! it'd be fun, it'd show the community he cares and appreciates them, but to me fans getting involved in projects never ends well. it'd be one thing to have them appear on set, have their names be in the credits, but to actually have a hand in the casting and parts of the script? this does not bode well to me. while i talk obsessively about who i'd love for etn to bring back and how they should let me in the writer's room, this is usually a joke. i like seeing authentic projects! to see what the creators themselves come up with! and i've mostly loved what joey's done for the show so far. it just feels like this is such a dangerous position to give fans, who would've paid 350 dollars for this, because it can so quickly turn into a mess. on one hand, imagine you pay so much money to have a say in these things only to not get a single person in your dream cast into the final project? and on the other hand, imagine having someone who's paid you so much and then having them demand a pick that you're not really into but say yes to anyway. i would hope there's some clear boundaries in place and a mutual understanding, however i simply think this is better off not being a thing entirely. though i'll acknowledge this is partly due to my own distaste for a majority of old etn fan opinions and behavior. if i was gonna have anyone work on the movie there'd only be a select few i'd trust! i don't know, this feels like it's going to be such a wild card and not in the best way.

at least joey looks hot and handsome in his 1950s attire ... and him having a whole studious side to him was fun to see. but also? this man doesn't have a single thought in his head. he really was like “what's that mean? a box inside a box?” and kept acting confused when the obviously not human waitress turned out to be evil and weird. what did he expect?? he makes it seem like he knows he's in pandora's box ( says something like, “i'm trying to get home.” in the promo ) only to be shocked when evil things happen. i love you joey you stupid bitch <3

when the waitress asked if he was waiting for someone i was like MAT???? sorry i couldn't help myself i miss him so bad and i'm sure joey does too.

kinda got my hopes up thinking the new building he was in was the s1 estate but no ... it's the crimson manor apparently? which, also, might not be apart of the movie? so why are they selling merch of it? i digress, but um, i cannot believe we'd go back to another small location for this glance into what a movie could be like. this is pandora's box and you're telling me that all that's there is some manor and a diner? there better be more locations because we need to go big or go home. personally, i'm still attached to the idea of pandora's box opening for real and causing havoc in the real world -- forcing areas to be trapped in different time periods and such. it'd be a bigger scale thing while staying true to the foundations but what would i know? i'm not in the producer's circle ( thank god for us all ).

did enjoy joey's hand getting stabbed. i wasn't expecting it! and i would enjoy a movie purely because we'd see more of a maiming element rather than threat = instant death. we could get scars! i am quite fond of this idea to be honest. plus it's fun to see joey just react, instinctively, and be allowed to fight back. him picking up glass with his bare hands to attack the waitress? i like the idea ... it reminds me of when alex in s4 just started swinging on the egyptian men. give me more guests fighting back! give me more of them crawling across the floor and showing off their raw, survival instincts that are now so ingrained into them as people that they don't know who they are without it. it's fun!

i'll end it there for now, but full disclosure : i haven't eaten yet! so if this is a little everywhere i'm sorry. i knew if i didn't get my thoughts down asap i'd forget entirely and change my mind later, which is fine, but i wanted everyone to see my initial feelings. please note that none of this is said with malice! i love joey and etn and i'll still watch this movie when it comes out, maybe even donate to some degree, however all that love and respect doesn't negate my criticism or weariness. a movie could be really good! this could be exactly the newness the series needs. but my emotions are a little everywhere regardless.

[chvoswxtch]

I’d love to request a documentary about the bodyguard! Any little YouTube-blurb sized snippet, I’ll be thrilled with (but if we’re being honest, I want the full “comes in a dvd box with three discs of editors notes and stories from the cast” size documentary. Like republish the whole movie, make it LOTR extended edition length. I want a 9hr movie marathon about every sentence of every chapter 😅 the bodyguard is a whole book and I’d read a whole second book about your experience writing the first book)

okay so I did try to give you the LOTR extended edition, but apparently there's a word limit on these which is rude, so i'll give you as much as i'm allowed <3

I do have a confession to make. during the first half of the bodyguard, I was straight up winging it. obviously I never expected the request to turn into a full blown series, & I was shocked & elated at how much people wanted a part 2, & then a part 3, & so on. I think around part 3 or 4 was when I was like holy shit this is gonna be a full blown series. but I didn’t have like an actual plan for it. I had ideas, but I didn’t have an outline or anything, so from the request to about…maybe chapter 13, I was just writing each part as it came. like i’d write a part, edit it to death, second guess myself, rewrite it, edit it to death again, post it thinking god this is awful, & be blown away by the response (btw this happens with every single thing I post, seriously). around chapter 15 is where I actually sat down & was like okay where is this going? because technically I could’ve ended it at the halfway point, but it didn’t feel right to me. I knew I wanted to have a huge reveal for her finding out who he was (imagine writing about a feared vigilante & he ends up being your bodyguard & you end up talking about said vigilante while your bodyguard was standing right next to you, that was diabolical of me)

I really liked the idea of two villains but not having them connected at all bc I felt like that was predictable. I LOVE twists in books, especially if I can’t see them coming, but I love them even more when there’s easter eggs planted along the way so that when the twist is revealed, if you go back, you’re like fuck it was right in front of my face. I tried to do that with steven & the defenders of freedom (I hope I did) & obviously with billy, everyone in the fandom knows that twist, & I know some people expected me to make him a good guy in this story, but that man is a backstabbing little bitch & I couldn’t give him redemption, so I made him worse.

when I tell y’all I talk to myself & act things out that I imagine in my head, i'm not kidding, & I highly recommend it to writers. am I insane for having a whole ass conversation with myself? probably. but it works. like okay what would frank say, & how would he say it? how would frank stand, what would he do with his hands, his facial expressions? I do a lot of research when I write (I will spend an hour researching something just to write one line about it) & I rewatched a lot of clips from the punisher & from season 2 of daredevil, keeping track of how frank talks, his dialect & how he pronounces words, his body language & how that gives away his emotions, his mannerisms, etc. obviously i’m not the creator of him & I didn't want to make him a carbon copy, bc there are so many different versions of him, but jon’s is my favorite & I wanted it to be authentic

because I was pretty much writing this one part at a time & basically winging it until the last ten chapters, I didn’t realize how much i’d written until I was done. when I put it all together & looked at the chapters & the word count I was just like holy fuck I actually wrote a book. like I did that. the thing I thought I could never do, I did. I essentially wrote an entire book, in real time with y’all, without even realizing it

publishing my own copy was a pain in the ASS (the first one ended up coming out like a textbook, the one I shared was a second attempt, & it’s still a hot mess, but it’s better). but I had a lot of fun designing the cover & the back, & just holding something I created in my hands was a surreal and emotional moment

the main inspiration with this book is kastle bc we were robbed so I had to do it myself. this is basically me taking the reins & being like no no no, this is what happened, the end. so if born again fucks us over again, at least we have the bodyguard

my copy is sitting proudly on my bookshelf, but I will confess, I have not read it. I don’t read my own work. I did skim through previous chapters when I wrote new ones, bc I have a terrible memory & sometimes I forget what I wrote, but I haven’t sat down & actually read it from start to finish. i’m definitely my own worst critic, in everything I do. but maybe one day I will sit down and read it (although I’ll probably just point out my own mistakes & come up with new ideas & be like damn you should’ve done that instead)

I think the bodyguard will always be my biggest accomplishment & my favorite thing I’ve ever done (even if I do publish an actual book someday) because one, I didn’t think I could do it, & two because of the community it brought me. being in these fandoms has led me to so many incredible people (like you <3) who i’ve been lucky enough to befriend & get to know, & I truly had so much fun reading through all the comments & theories on my own work. I looked forward to it every single time I put a new chapter up. your excitement made me even more excited. & I was overwhelmed by how positive it all was like I was expecting criticism, as there is with everything, but it was literally nothing but positivity & that shocked me & elated me. there are so many incredibly talented authors on here, & I feel so honored that so many of yall consider me one of them

i'm trying to think of specifics to share but talking about this is making me emo & making me all warm & tingly inside so if there was something I left out you wanna know more about i'm happy to answer 🖤

[saucy-mesothelioma]

Ok finally finished watching the Cloverfield trilogy and I just have so many thoughts of this stupid fucking franchise (and I mean stupid in both a positive and derogatory way). I'll try to post my Letterboxd reviews soon cause I'm really behind on them, but I just need to talk about it right now.

First, the OG Cloverfield

Imma say this right now and just get it out of the way, I don't really care about JJ Abrams. I know a lot of people have their problems with him as a "copy-cat king" and from what I've read that seems about right, but I also don't have much to say in the topic because I really don't care for any of his movies. Love him if you want, hate him if you want, I don't really care. Now with that out of the way, people are right that this is basically Godzilla, but I actually sort've like that premise. And that's coming from someone who doesn't enjoy found footage films. It touches greatly on post 9/11 anxiety and I like how they didn't really show the monster much like they do in Jaws. And the monster design is top tier, I fuckin love it. But these characters dude. They're so fucking stupid. They risk everything to try to save Beth(? I think that was her name? I don't remember honestly) but like my good bitch the town is fucking exploding around you. She's dead girlypop sometimes you just gotta let that shit go. Like come on. There's also one more thing about this movie I don't like, but this Letterboxd user summed it up best

Next, 10 Cloverfield Lane

(WARNING: this movie has strong themes of abuse and aggression that mirror domestic violence, which I mention here albeit not in detail. So keep that in mind if you plan on watching the movie.)

Ok, if you haven't watched this movie, stop right now and go watch it. This movie isn't the best film by far, but WATCH THIS SHIT BLIND. It's a fucking roller coaster and it's a fun watch. Did you go watch it? You didn't? Ok well I'm going to spoil the entire fuckin movie so that's on you.

Despite being called the "spiritual successor" of Cloverfield, this movie has really nothing to do with it except for the very end. And the reason for this is probably because this movie was actually supposed to be called The Cellar, but was turned into a Cloverfield film by Bad Robot. Honestly the ending was probably added specifically for that connection to Cloverfield and I could've done without it due to its stupidity and abruptness. But the rest of this movie? Holy fucking shit. This movie constantly has you questioning all the information you're being given and keeps you in suspense. It's got some genuinely unnerving moments and the cinematography is really fucking good; this video by Nocturnal Critic does a fantastic job of breaking down some of the framing choices during one of the most tense scenes and I seriously can't recommend it enough. The three main actors are absolutely incredible, but I'll be honest I'm incredibly biased towards one in particular. And that's John fuckin Goodman. It's an absolute crime that this man HASN'T gotten an Oscar. Dude's an acting powerhouse and he absolutely steals the fucking show in this movie. Like I can guarantee it wouldn't be nearly as good if it weren't for his performance that ups the unease and dread to 200. Not to take away from Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Gallagher Jr (who were also absolutely wonderful in their respective roles), Goodman just makes this movie. He manages to make Howard such a threatening character that genuinely made me uncomfortable at points for just how real it felt. I think the best example is the scene covered in the video I linked above: the dinner scene. Seeing an unsettling character snap is terrifying in of itself, but what's even more unsettling is when they don't snap when you expect them to. It really adds to the tension in a way I can't describe, especially when you factor in his treatment of Michelle and what we learn about Howard later on. And on that note, there is one problem I have with the major story besides the ending, and that's the plotline of Brittany and Megan. What exactly happened there, especially in the case of Brittany, is never really expanded on and feels like a major loose end. Apparently there was an ARG that expanded on this and Howard's involvement, but without it that plot line makes zero sense to me. Regardless of that and the unnecessary final 10 minutes connecting it to the previous Cloverfield movie, this one's by far the best out of the "trilogy".

And last and by far the least, The Cloverfield Paradox

Lmao this movie fucking sucked. Like no joke this movie was shit. The story was confusing as fuck and I couldn't name a single character with a gun to my head. It actually made me laugh out loud with how absolutely fucking stupid everything about it was, but the moments in-between the laugher at the outrageous bullshit I was bored out of my mind. It just made me want to watch 10 Cloverfield Lane again. Fuck, I'd rather watch Cloverfield again and THAT movie has TJ Miller talking the entire damn time. Once again there's zero connection to the original film except for a spooky big boi alien you see at the VERY END. Everything about this movie isn't even worth talking about, so I'm not gonna!

So yeah those are my thoughts on the Cloverfield trilogy, although it's really not a trilogy just movies with the same name slapped on to them. You don't need to watch any one film to watch the others, and honestly I kinda wish I didn't. In my opinion only the first two are worth watching, with 10 Cloverfield Lane being the better watch out of the two.

[webbywatcheshorror]

Webby Reviews Horror: We Need to Do Something (2021)

We Need to Do Something is a movie about a family trapped in their bathroom during a violent and possible unnatural storm. The premise really set my expectations high, but left me pretty disappointed, to be quite honest.

Don't let the little blurb at the bottom of the above poster fool you- if you're expecting anything like the Saw franchise, you're going to be let down. (That said, Jigsaw would definitely put the dad character in a trap and I'd pay to see it.)

Review under the cut, and as always, SPOILERS ahead!

It starts off with some promise. A storm is coming, gather your family into the safest room in the house until it's passed. I've done it plenty of times in my life and I daresay I'll do it again- so I have what you might call some experience. Which, clearly, this family lacks, as they bring absolutely NOTHING by way of supplies. Not snacks, not blankets and pillows, not spare chargers, NOTHING. Aside from Dad's thermos with what appears to be an alcoholic beverage of some sort and a few board/card games.

The bathroom itself is nice and big, which makes me wonder about the rest of the house, but we never actually get to see it. With the exception of a few flashback scenes, the entire movie takes place in the bathroom. (I'm officially calling it- Bathroom Horror is now its own sub-genre. I'm going to make a list.)

My one complaint about the bathroom is but a simple one- why in the name of CAD does the only door open OUTWARDS? Go ahead, look at all the bathroom doors in your house for me. Hell, ANY of the doors in your house. They all open inward, do they not? This simple issue is what causes the rest of the movie to unfold the way it does, so it's not like it was an oversight or anything. It's just baffling to me.

Now onto the characters. I couldn't really feel much attachment to any of them, but I did feel sorry for the kids. Dad's an alcoholic asshole, Mom's a passive aggressive adulterer, and they spend most of the movie bitching at each other at the slightest provocation. The kids are better, they're just fairly typical kids. Sister's a teenager who snarks at her kid Brother (age not stated that I recall, but he's younger than 11 I'd say? I genuinely cannot estimate people's ages.) who pokes fun right back at her. Fairly decently written siblings.

I spent most of the movie waiting for things to get weird, to get creepy, but almost the entire time is spent watching them slowly just unravel- which could have been fine and dandy except I was promised something MORE. And it would have been fine if we were given any indication of how much time has passed, because otherwise they start losing their shit about ten minutes into the storm.

The storm brings down a tree directly through the roof of whatever room the bathroom is attached to and blocks the door, which, again, opens outward for some reason. The 'windows' are far too small to be of any use, and Dad claims the walls are *checks notes* SIX FEET THICK. Now, I never actually used my drafting training to actually make anything, but I'm pretty damn sure nobody builds houses with walls that are six feet thick.

There are so many hilarious moments, but I get the sense that they weren't intended to be funny. But how else am I meant to respond to things like the World's Most Aggressive Rattlesnake and the demon not!dog? Or when, in some kind of fit of madness, Dad starts whipping Mom with the dead rattlesnake after having bitten its head off? ('Like Ozzy,' he says, because 'snakes are just bats that can't fly!')

Most of the dialogue is weirdly phrased or just unrealistic in general, as well as their decision-making. Not once do they search for anything to try to unscrew the door hinges. Towards the final scenes, Mom is able to bust through a part of the wall that leads... Elsewhere? But they didn't bother with doing that anytime beforehand, only after two of them are dead and demons kill the only other people they hear from.

But by far the most unrealistic part is when, in complete seriousness, Daughter confesses that she and her goth gf might have summoned the demon storm with a spell they found on the internet and then didn't even do right. And her parents BELIEVE HER lmao. Like, right away, even. No 'oh sweetie that's ridiculous' or anything.

Some parts felt too rushed through, and some felt too drawn out, and some I wished were handled differently. There was a lot that could have been done with this story, and it really did have some good beats, but overall it felt awkward and kind of boring. And the worst part is the ending- it finally got interesting! Mom comes back from checking what was going on outside (absolutely COVERED in blood by the by) and outright refuses to say what she saw, then there's Sounds coming from the hole she crawled through, they scream, and it ends. We never even got to see the Demon whose tongue they (for some reason???) decided to eat.

I really did want to like the movie, I did, but you can't promise me a supernatural storm and then make me sit through a whole lot of pointless, baffling family drama when there's demons and shit out there. I give this one four outta ten ghosts. It just didn't work for me, but it had me laughing whether or not it meant to. Both times I watched it, I could not help but laugh when the kids are excitedly letting the 'dog' that's just out of their view lick their hands and asking 'oh who's a good boy?' only to be horrified when it answers, gleefully, 'I'm a good boy!' as it licks them.

[3rdshiftreview]

3rd Shift: A Tale of Two Cities (1980 film)

The one with Prince Humperdinck and Prince Humperdinck. A goddamn Dickens story, I'll always be drawn to Dickens stories. That guillotine was absurdly short and you cannot tell me that ridiculous thing would work, it had a free fall of maybe 4 feet. Barely get through a starched collar, how's it going to sever a spinal column, eh? I do enjoy the properly gritty, nasty vibe the proletariat have throughout the movie, but I do wish they'd maaaayyybbeeee try to make them feel a little more nuanced. Lot of folks were legit starving, they had reason to be a bit bloodthirsty. Still, it's Dickens, he had a weird track record with the poors. And the french. The relationship between Lucie and Charles feels properly aristocratic, though they do make a pretty nice looking couple, and them keeping an honest friendship with Sydney was legit nice, the man desperately needed an outlet that was not drinking himself under the table. SPEAKING of Sydney, man deserved better!! Bro just needed a good support system and a license to practice law in France!! He'd be like a bull in a china shop, but in a good way. I do appreciate him making the big sacrifice for the woman he loves and her family, but maaaaan. At least he was a gentleman to the very end. If it's not obvious I really prefer Sydney over Charles, Syd's clearly the better man if he's so willing to give so much of himself for a woman he could never marry, without any expectation for his feelings to ever be returned. Bro was a romantic, I love a romantic. Overall, it was shot well, the plot was trim and easy to follow. Having Prince Humperdinck as the main guy(s) was distracting, but only because I watched the Princess Bride religiously as a kid so he's just Prince Humperdinck to me forever. Madame Defarge was a bitch and she got what was coming to her, she drove me nuts. Honestly, it's a straight up 5/10, very median, enjoyable. Not something I'd go out of my way to watch, but I can see myself being in the mood to watch it again someday.

[excusethequality]

My 2024 in Film: April

Another month of films.

The sad part is I wouldn't be so far behind on these if I hadn't watched so friggin' many movies in March.

* = rewatches

81.

Bitch

(2017)

— Comedy Drama Directed by: Marianna Palka

A negligent husband/father is forced to start paying attention to his family when his wife suffers a mental break and stars thinking she's a dog.

I think it's worth noting that the actor playing the woman who thinks she's a dog is the director herself. I just think it makes the whole thing better knowing that all the weird scenes with her are ones that she created.

You know, I feel like this one would need a second viewing for me to really get a handle on it. I assumed I knew where it would go from the premise, but it tackles things rather differently than I was expecting. While the woman is almost always the central figure of the story it's actually her husband who we're primarily following and who is growing as a person through the process.

Since I found the woman who is having this break to be the more interesting figure, focusing on her husband was a little offputting. Especially because he is a wildly absent father and husband so watching him suddenly have to grow isn't the journey I came here for.

But there's some scenes at the end that made me start thinking that perhaps I had been looking at the story from the wrong angle and that perhaps the story was doing something subtler than I was giving it credit for.

I am still undecided on this one. But I will say that I have thought about it after I watched it and that can't be said for most movies.

82.*

For Your Consideration

(2006)

—Mockumentary Directed by: Christopher Guest

The set of movie is turned upside down when rumors of Oscar attention hit the set.

File under movies that took me half the movie to remember I had seen it before.

Sometimes Hollywood people want to make movies based on their life experiences as Hollywood people. The only problem being that life in the Hollywood bubble is FAR from a universal experience. So the more you know about the world surrounding Hollywood movies the funnier this will be. Which is rather unlike Guest's other films which have a much broader appeal.

It has its moments, but overall it just felt way too specific and a little ham fisted compared to his other work.

83.

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

(1997)

— Comedy Adventure Directed by: David Mirkin

Two best friends try to create the image of a successful life in order to impressive the people at their 10 year high school reunion.

I'll be honest, I've avoided watching this movie for years because I just assumed it would be something I wouldn't like. But I finally broke and figured I'd knock another classic off the list and give it a go.

Lo and behold I actually kind of love it?

Since no one makes movies about asexuals, the closest representation I can get is stories about extremely close friends. For instance here Romy and Michele are best friends who've lived together for years. I can't remember exactly, but I think their beds are even in the same room? Are they said to occasionally hook up with dudes? Sure. Do they also seem to be way more into each other than anyone else? Absolutely.

And that my friends, is close enough for me. It's a non-sexual long-lasting, deeply intimate relationship. I'll take what I can get.

It's a silly movie. I could understand if its style of humor wasn't for everyone, but I was having a great time.

84.

The Hating Game

(2021)

— Rom-Com Directed by: Peter Hutchings Based on: The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

After their respective publishing companies merge, two employees with very different styles start a bet to decide who gets to stay and who has to leave.

Okay, so this is just a very stock-standard enemies to lovers story. Usually that's a standard I enjoy, but here the whole thing is rather lukewarm because the two people are both corporate suits and fuck them.

Plus this is pulling on pigtails as foreplay style enemies to lovers. Not like a bitter rivals accidentally forge a bound of shared experience that only they can relate to, kinda enemies to lovers. So no thank you.

More importantly is the fact that early on we see the leading lady at home writing Smurfs fanfiction and then it's never brought up again?! I cannot stress enough how much this threw me. I was waiting the entire movie for that to somehow come back around.

My only guess is they threw that in because it sounded like a nerdy in a literary way kind of thing, without realizing that a person who would write Smurfs fanfiction is a very specific sort of person.

To further prove my point that the writers of this are strangely out of touch is the fact that at one point they refer to epipens as being nerdy...

...what the actual fuck are you talking about? The person has a deadly allergy! Plus the writer of Smurfs fanfiction does not get to mock the person with the epipen for being too nerdy!

Just very much an example of what you get when the popular crowd tries to write a "nerdy" character.

85.

Viktor und Viktoria

[English title: “Victor and Victoria”]

(1933)

— Rom-Com Directed by: Reinhold Schünzel

An aspiring singer impersonates a female impersonator to help a sick colleague, but when an agent discovers her she'll have to try and keep the ruse alive.

I loved Victor/Victoria so much I had to check out the original to see how it compared.

I definitely didn't like it as much as that one. Victor/Victoria used the premise to tackle ideas of queerness & gender and question if society's norms regarding them make any sense in the first place.

This one, however, is just here to have a good time. It's only goal is to give the audience 90minutes of silly good fun with some singing and dancing thrown in to make sure you get your money's worth of entertainment.

Renate Müller is definitely the star of the show as she was actually quite delightful and cute. But the rest of it was a little flat for me.

86.

Orlando, ma biographie politique

[English title: Orlando, My Political Biography]

(2023)

— [I honestly have no idea what genre this would be] Directed by: Paul B. Preciado

An amalgamation of trans stories with that of the story of Virginia Wolfe's Orlando. As the actors playing Orlando change so does the interpretations of the story.

This was the final selection for my house's Roommate Movie Nights and our theme of "Oh! So that's a thing."

It definitely fits the bill as it certainly is an original piece.

I think I was at a large disadvantage here as I have never read or seen any form of adaptation of Viriginia Wolfe's Orlando. So when they intermingle between the real trans stories and Orlando I'm at a bit of a loss as to where the line is.

So yeah. I don't think I'm the right person to go to for an opinion of this one. It's certainly a movie with a style all it's own. I enjoyed the uniqueness and the charm it had in tackling its subject. There was a Virginie Despentes cameo and I was so proud of myself for noticing right away.

[Tangentially I love Virginie Despentes' books. She writes deeply flawed characters in such a fascinating way. She's like the chain-smoking French aunt you never knew you needed in your life.]

87.

We Summoned a Demon

(2017)

— Horror Comedy Short Directed by: Chris McInroy

Two men try to perform a ritual to make themselves cool, but inadvertently summon a demon instead.

It has its moments, but overall not really in line with my sense of humor.

88.

Manhunter

(1986)

— Thriller Directed by: Michael Mann Based on: Red Dragon by. Thomas Harris

A retired criminal profiler is brought back in order to catch a dangerous serial killer.

I feel like I've had to have seen this before at some point, especially considering how big of a fan I am of Bryan Fueller's Hannibal show. I even went and read all of Thomas Harris' books during those years. But if I had seen this before I had forgotten nearly everything. So let's just say it was new to me.

This movie does so many interesting things in its adaptation of the novel and it's especially fun to compare it with the other adaptations.

William Peterson has an intriguing take on Will Graham. But the highlight for me was definitely Brian Cox's Hannibal. Which is just extra fun considering how Anthony Hopkins, Mads Mikkelsen, and Brian Cox have all played the character of Hannibal Lecter, they all have incredibly different versions, but I love them all.

Things like this are part of why I quite enjoy adaptations. Being able to compare how different stories tackle things is fascinating to me.

I really wanted to like this movie more, but there's just a number of parts that really took me out of the story. The music choices were especially bizarre to me. There would be these really tense scenes and then the soundtrack would kick in and just ruin the vibes for me.

I dunno. I'm a sucker for interesting adaptations though and there's just too many interesting choices here for me to discount it. I can't say I loved it, but I also can't say I didn't enjoy the uniqueness of the ride.

89.

Citizenfour

(2014)

— Documentary Directed by: Laura Poitras

The journalists Edward Snowden released his information to document the events of his leaks live as they happened.

Continuing my documentary kick this year, and finding my way here because Kirsten Joshnson, the current reigning champion of my best of this year list, was the cinematographer on this one.

I thought it was just a straight forward documentary about the events of the Snowden leaks, but it is so much more interesting than that!

Laura Poitras was the one Snowden leaked the information to! So she has this record of the whole process. You get to be in the room with her and Snowden and see how they plan the leaks and hear how they react as Snowden witnesses the pieces of his life falling apart as the government tries to track him down.

Just a truly fascinating documentary.

Plus I love reading about cyber security issues, so this is just a win-win all around for me.

90.

Monsters Crash the Pajama Party

(1965)

— Sci-Fi Comedy Short Directed by: David L. Hewitt

Some college girls have a sleep over in an abandoned house as part of a sorority hazing ritual. Unfortunately for them there's a mad scientist living in the basement and he needs more test subjects.

Did I watch this entirely because of the title?

...yes.

Am I proud of that fact?

No.

Not gonna lie: this was a rough watch. They really jumped in with a basic set up to a story and a gimmick, started shooting immediately, realized they didn't know where to go from there, then padded...that...shit...out...to...30...minutes.

The humor is so lazy it hurts. And the whole gimmick is that during one single scene the "monsters" in their bad Spirit Halloween-style costumes would leave the movie and run through the theater before returning to the movie. Even if I had witnessed the gimmick in action it wouldn't have mattered.

The thing's only 30 minutes and by the end it felt like it had gone on for ages.

91.

The Last Unicorn

(1982)

— Animated Fantasy Adventure Directed by: Jules Bass & Arthur Rankin Jr.

A unicorn goes on a quest to find the others of her kind.

This is one of those ones I've heard about forever, but never seen. But leave it to Rankin Bass to make something really unique, but deeply weird.

I honestly don't know what to say. It's a movie that both delivers some amazing emotional beats and will also routinely break their own flow with utterly weird scenes that don't really have a point. (looking at you scene where Alan Arkin is forced to motorboat a busty tree)

If the pacing flowed a bit more evenly I think I would have loved this one, but it was just too cluttered for me to fully invest it.

Also they were dirty for making Jeff Bridges sing that song. Y'all knew damn well he couldn't hit those notes and you made him do it anyway.

92.

Jumanji: The Next Level

(2019)

— Fantasy Comedy Adventure Directed by: Jake Kasdan

The crew from the previous movie wind up back inside the game, because of reasons! But this time some old guys are along for the ride too.

For those who have never seen Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017), let it be known that it is far better than it has any right to be. It actually has some really interesting character work and Jack Black is quite fun in it.

This follow-up to it, however, doesn't make any sense. I am convinced the script was made in a single draft. Because anytime it finds that it wrote itself into a corner it will god-machine its way out. None of the character work makes much sense, but you can see them trying to replicate some of the notes of the other movie and just failing completely.

You cannot convince me that this wasn't made just to cash in on the success of the first one.

On another note, I feel like we as a society need to accept that Dwanye "The Rock" Johnson cannot act.

I think due to the sheer number of movies he's starred in that we've convinced ourselves that he can, because why else would he have so many movies?

I think even he has been fooled. "I've been in SO MANY movies," he thinks to himself. "I must be an incredible actor. I must surely be capable of doing this movie that requires me to portray both a depressed young man in the midst of a breakdown AND Danny DeVito portraying a man who is angry at his aging body and at his life filled with regrets."

Yet here we are.

Two hours and $125 million later.

Thinking to ourselves, "You know what…he is not good at this. Was he ever good at this?"

And the fact of the matter is: No. Not really.

93.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

(2023)

— Action Adventure Directed by: James Mangold

Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr. has retired from adventuring, but is thrown back into the thick of it when a mystery from his past causes factions begin to converge around him.

I could have watched this at the theater I worked at for free, but after Kingdom of the Crystal Skull I really wasn't prepared to sit through 3 hours of this without the ability to take a break.

But the completionist in me finally won out so I picked it up from the library.

All they had to do to make this plot work was do a twist on The Last Crusade, where this time Phoebe Waller-Bridge was the adventurer and Harrison Ford was the old father figure whose passions have come back to haunt him, and it would have been a really fun ride. Instead we're stuck following this old Dr. busted "get off my lawn" Jones around and she's just kind of there.

There's just so much going on here and none of it means anything.

In other news, Karen Allen is aging gracefully af. Holy smokes.

In fact, I take back my earlier plot outline. I want Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Karen Allen as my dream duo for things that could have been made instead of this. In fact I just want them to work together on anything, it doesn't even have to be this.

94.

Anatomy of a Murder

(1959)

— Courtroom Drama Directed by: Otto Preminger

A former D.A. and current small town lawyer agrees to take a case defending a man who has been accused of murder after he killed a man he claims raped his wife.

Fucking Jimmy Stewart.

I often will watch something purely based on someone's recommendation or having read something about it that intrigued me, so I frequently don't know the cast of an older movie before I see it. And this bastard is always sneaking his way into my watchlist, in spite of the fact that he drives me up the wall.

Y'all, I don't even know.

It's shot really well, there's some interesting scenes and some great performances (not you, Stewart), and I know it has a pretty great reputation. But Jimmy Stewart playing a wealthy lawyer who doesn't pay his employees and takes a case to defend an abusive murderer for fun and sport? I just have a real hard time getting into that.

95.

Lake Placid 2

(2007)

— Made-for-TV Horror Directed by: David Flores

The events of the first movie have become mere rumors, but it turns out those giant crocs aren't content to let themselves become merely the stuff of legends.

I have a soft spot for the original Lake Placid. Don't get me wrong, it's a ridiculous movie, but it's the fun kind of dumb. Plus Betty White is in it and she is just a treat.

I assumed going into this that it wouldn't live up to the original, but at least it might bring some cheesy good fun. I was not prepared for just how low the budget of this movie was.

I actually had to pull out my phone and make sure this was actually a legitimate sequel early into the movie, because it is just so much cheaper than the original. It appears that the Sci-Fi channel somehow ended up with the rights to the property and decided to make some low budget made-for-tv movies with it.

Although 30 year olds playing teenagers never fails to make me laugh, it is not a good movie. The best thing about it is that they got Cloris Leachman to do their version of the Berrty White role (an amazing choice), but the writing is so bad that her talent is really wasted here.

For sure filing under bad films to laugh at with friends, but not to watch alone.

96.

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

(1994)

— Queer Road Trip Adventure Directed by: Stephan Elliott

3 drag performers go on a road trip across Australia in order to get to a big gig.

My go-to drag road trip movie has always been To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar, but I figured I had gone long enough without having seen this.

I really like Hugo Weaving and Terence Stamp. Guy Pearce remains on my list of actors I just can't get into though.

I still need to get around to doing some research on this one. I'm curious what queer people think of it today and also what their consensus (if any) was back in the 90s.

Although I truly have no idea what the hell they were thinking with the Cynthia character, because that bit thoroughly confused me. It's hard to see that and not wonder, "how exactly did they think this wouldn't be considered racist?"

It's hard not to compare and contrast this with To Wong Foo, even though they are tonally very different. To Wong Foo is much lighter and more of a story about the importance of being yourself, surrounding yourself with people that support you, and not letting adversity tear you down.

Priscilla has a much darker and more realistic undercurrent and seems to be more of a story of knowing who you are, but struggling to figure out exactly how you're supposed to fit into a world that wasn't built with you in mind.

Like always, it would be great if a movie with a trans character had actually gotten a trans actor for the role. But at least Priscilla was written and directed by a gay man, so for a mid-90s movie it's still far queerer than most.

97.

Minding the Gap

(2018)

— Documentary Directed by: Bing Liu

Filmmaker Bing Liu dives into skateboard culture, coming of age, and a search for identity in this documentary. He combines the skating footage from his younger years with modern interviews with his old skating group to try and learn the role skating had in their lives and what it means now that they've gotten further into adulthood.

This movie is so good!

I went into this thinking this was a different skating boarding documentary, so I was a little confused at the start, but what a happy accident!

Part of what makes it so compelling is how Bing Liu straddles the line between documentarian and participant. The story he's able to capture is one only possible from him and because of his relationship with the group

Definitely one of my favorite things I've seen this year.

98.*

Minding the Gap

(2018)

see #97

Did I watch this and then immediately watch it again with the commentary?

Yes.

Yes I did.

99.

Vox Lux

(2018)

— Drama Directed by: Brady Corbet

A former survivor of a school shooting and current pop star struggles in a life where her public image has dominated how she is seen by both the world and herself.

I kind of hate this movie. I'm not sure it deserves to be hated though. A LOT of my hatred comes from the fact that Natalie Portman is the star and she is doing a BIZARRE accent the entire movie. Which is made all the weirder because at the start of the movie you see her character as a kid and she very much does not have the accent.

So here's this character that somehow grew up to have what I can only describe as the New York equivalent of the Dick Van Dyke-style British accent that Americans do. At not point does it ever approach accuracy, but you can kind of see where they were trying to go with it?

If you see me talk about enough movies you'll start to notice that I have a very hard time overlooking certain details in movies. It's why I traditionally don't like Hitchcock movies, because he is the master of throwing in random details of the type that I can't not fixate on.

And having the main character doing an absurd accent for the whole movie is so utterly distracting to me. Was the movie aside from that fact any good? I don't even know. Anytime I thought I was starting to understand the themes of the movie is would seemingly abandon that thread and start doing something else.

I just don't know. Whatever this movie is, it's definitely not for me.

100.

Paddington 2

(2017)

— Family Comedy Adventure Directed by: Paul King

A simple attempt to find a birthday gift for his mother goes horribly astray when it leads to a chain of events that get Paddington thrown in prison.

The Paddington movies have the sort of heart that you just so rarely see from family movies these days. Lots of others in the genre feel like some sort of innocuous thing that was grown in a lab and designed by committee to as unoffensive as possible.

But the Paddington movies have a charm and a soul all their own. And the direction of both films is leagues beyond what you'd typically expect from the cgi-character has an adventure family genre.

I'll admit that I like the first movie better as I found the whole thing to be overall tighter. But this is still a lot of fun. I wouldn't say this one is up there with the family movies that everyone needs to see, but it's still a charming little film that's awfully hard not to enjoy.

101.

Bad Black

(2016)

— Action Comedy Directed by: Nabwana I.G.G.

An American doctor in Uganda must get martial arts training from a child in pink crocs known as Swaz if he ever hopes to get an heirloom back from the notorious gangster Bad Black.

This is a kind of movie that you just need to see to understand.

Imagine a movie made by a group of money without a lot of money or equipment or training, but a hell of a lot of passion and fun. They're out here with the kind of originality that you only get from those who were never taught what the rules were, because—for better or for worse—they're breaking all of them.

It's definitely not going to be for everyone. But if you love action comedies and weirdly memorable b-movies, then it's certainly something you might want to try out.

102.

Good Time

(2017)

— Crime Drama Directed by: Benny Safdie & Josh Safdie

A criminal's desperate attempts to get his brother out of jail lead him to going to increasingly dangerous lengths as his desperation increases.

Jeez, there's a lot going on in this one. I enjoyed it, but I think I'd need to really sit down and dedicate some real time and thought to breaking it down properly.

The fact that it mostly takes place over a single night gives it this really interesting sort of tension. Robert Pattinson is fantastic. And this character we're following is really intriguing.

He's a really well written antihero. He is far from a good person and over the course of the movie he does a number of terrible deeds. He's greedy and uses people and is selfish. But like any good character you can't help but to find his struggle compelling because he really is willing to risk it all to help his brother.

It's certainly something I'll have to give another watch down the line.

103.

The Happytime Murders

(2018)

— Comedy Whodunnit Directed by: Brian Henson

In a world where humans and puppets live together, a puppet P.I. and a Human homicide detective must team up to solve a string of brutal puppet murders.

This was kind of exactly like what I thought it would be like, but I'll admit that it has its moments.

I feel like there's two ways to play puppets in the real world: A) a Muppets style (they're just there and no one calls attention to it, or B) a sci-fi style (where you take it seriously and try to explain how exactly that works).

This one tries to explain how this all works and create a believable human/puppet world, but they aren't great explanations and there's no consistency. Like in one scene a puppet will be able to beat up a human, but in another they'll be unable to do anything because they're just full of cotton.

If you're going muppets style I can easily suspend my disbelief, but if you specifically tell me this world has rules and then are constantly breaking those rules then that fucks really takes me out of things.

I don't really have much to say about this. There are certainly some fun parts, but it's a very one-note kind of movie. And the one note is just: "isn't it funny when puppets do or say crude things!"

104.

龙马精神

[English title: “Ride On”]

(2023)

— Action Comedy Drama Directed by: Larry Yang

An aging stuntman is given another chance at stardom when his beloved horse is shown to also have a knack for stuntwork.

When I saw the trailer I was just thinking: "Jackie Chan and a horse? That's a recipe for silly good fun."

I was not expecting a really thoughtful and poignant story to be hiding in there!

I know it sounds weird to say, but I've actually thought about this one a lot since I watched it. Hiding in the silliness is this thoughtful look on a life and career in stunt work. But it also works as just an older person looking back and wondering if some of the decisions they made in the past were worth it. Then looking to the new generations and seriously considering whether or not the old ways are actually better or if the new trends have merit.

Not to mention that Jackie is out here doing some really fantastic acting.

It's definitely not a perfect film though. It's probably the only time I've watched a Jackie Chan movie and wished there weren't as many fights. This time I'm here for the drama! The character work, the relationships between Jackie's character trying to make up for lost time and create a better relationship with his daughter, there's so much here. Most of the fights just seem shoehorned in because you've gotta have fights in a Jackie Chan movie, right?

I dunno. In spite of its flaws it has given me more food for thought than a lot of "better" movies I've seen this year and I quite like it. I wouldn't recommend it if you want pure Martial Arts action, but if you're in the mood for something silly, something sweet, something quirky, and something lighter but with some hidden depths? It's got you covered.

105.

무림여대생

[English title: “My Mighty Princess”]

(2008)

— Wuxia Rom-Com Directed by: Jae-young Kwak

A high school girl tries to navigate the troubles of high school and of her father's attempts to get her to dedicate herself to her training in martial arts.

I only just realized that a lot of people might not know what Wuxia is. So for context Wuxia is a genre of Chinese fiction that deals in historical martial arts fantasy. The closest approximation in Western literature I can think of would probably be something like the tales of Arthur and the knights of the round table? Where there are monsters and magic, but they're the magic and monsters of olden days, not full-blown high fantasy. And we follow heroes who have a strict code and fight for what's right.

Umm...what are some examples people might be familiar with in America...

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is based on a classic Wuxia novel. And Kung-Fu Panda was inspired by the genre (although they definitely cross pollinated it with some Western storytelling styles).

Anyways, it's a genre style that definitely had an impact across Asian fiction.

My Mighty Princess kind of aims to combine a high school rom-com with a more classic wuxia story and it's a tricky one for me diagnose.

I think there's a lot to love in this. The humor is quite fun and the setup is solid. It's just that there's a pretty heavy tonal jump in the middle. It starts out full rom-com then switches gear in the middle to start the wuxia angle and it's way too big of a shift for me. I definitely would have preferred if the genres were a bit more evenly melded from the start.

Then there's this whole weird b-storyline with this high school student who keeps trying to win the heart of this cop lady and that doesn't really go anywhere.

I'm probably a little overly harsh on it, because I quite like parts of it, but I didn't love it overall. And it's always annoying when that happens, because you kind of want to rewatch it, but then again you kind of don't.

106.

The American Buffalo

(2023)

— Documentary Directed by: Ken Burns

A look at the colonizers history with the American buffalo and how it relates to their history with the indigenous peoples.

Technically I think this might be a miniseries not a movie, but it's short enough to watch during a single sitting so I'm gonna count it.

It's pretty standard for a PBS-style documentary. The subject matter is interesting, but I think it perhaps would have been better handled by a native director instead of the whitest man alive. And I also was pulled out of it whenever they got famous people to read the bits of diaries and whatnot.

You'd just be listening and then suddenly be wondering, "wait, why is Paul Giamatti talking right now?"

107.

The Taming of the Shrew

(1967)

—Shakespeare adaptation Directed by: Franco Zeffirelli Based on: The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare

A group of men seek to coerce a strong willed woman into a bad marriage in their attempts to wed her younger and more demur sister.

I'm not gonna lie, I've seen a number of loose Taming of the Shrew adaptations, but I've never actually seen a more-or-less direct adaptation or the play itself.

It turns out that the actual story is super fucked up? The whole "taming" idea was always a little iffy depending on how it was deployed, but in the story they are just straight up abusing the shit out of her? Full on mentally and physically abusing her into submission?

I don't really have any insight for this. When I wasn't a little bit bored I was just sitting there being deeply uncomfortable.

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April Stats

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Movies watched this month: 27

Rewatch percentage: 7.4% (2/27)

Favorite new movie of the month: Minding the Gap

Least favorite: The Taming of the Shrew

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Previous Months’ Posts:

JAN | FEB | MAR.p1 | MAR.p2

[cchaosstude]

my stranger

Summary: Bumping elbows with Chris Evans is not something you would expect in a lanky, low profile, almost unknown bar but strangers make good company, right? Especially with secrets.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 1700+

Warning: FLUFF ALERT, RPF

A/N: This is my first Chris Evans fic so please forgive me for errors. I edit my own work and this is not beta'd.

Rubbing your arms to get rid of the cold while in line to pee in an unsanitary bathroom is definitely not the way you envisioned the night to go. You've had too many martinis at this point and don't think you can down any without spinning your head and blurring your eyesight.

After going to the bathroom, you try lighting a cigarette and decide to hang out a bit more outside. And since your lighter is not working, you try asking the person beside you if he can lend you his.

You haven't looked at the guy but he really has nice hands so you look up to thank him and your jaw almost dropped to the ground.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" That question came out way too quick than you thought it would. And you understand the shock on his face before he burst out laughing.

"Well, hello to you too, ma'am." He says while giggling and took a drag of his cigarette.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." You laugh staring at Chris fucking Evans longer than you should. You couldn't believe he's right here beside you making casual talk and out of all the places in the world, you'd bump with him here.

It's only the two of you at the back and it's becoming awkward at how you look at him but you just can't believe it.

"This place must be so important for you to visit. The neon sign outside doesn't even work."

He shakes his head and smiles at you, that same toothy grin you see in his movies.

"It's a nice place. They have great tacos too." He says, raising his eyebrows, looking smug with a stick between his lips. Well, he's not lying though. This place is shitty on the outside but definitely serves the best food.

You nod at him, agreeing to what he just said. "And it's pretty lowkey, don't you think? No one ever takes a picture of me here or asks for my signature. It's very grounding." 

You stare at him again and he does the same thing to you and he looks at you funny.

"You're running away from something..." he says and you almost choke on the smoke you just inhaled. First of all, he's on point and second of all, you shouldn't be that transparent. The stress must be very evident in your eye wrinkles when you fake a  smile.

"Tell me more, clairvoyant." You say and he smiles, this time you notice him staring at you.

"What good way to tell a secret is to a stranger, right?"

"I thought you're gonna do the hocus pocus on my brain and then you'll know." You throw the cigarette butt and crushed it with your boot. He has a few more on his and he offered you another stick but you declined. Too many vices for one night.

"I don't have that superpower." He smirks and stares again, now it's becoming normal at this point.

"Oh, right, Vision?" You tease him and he just rolls his eyes, running a hand over his beard while smiling. He whispers shut up and you laugh, hesitating if you should tell him what's bothering you all day long.

Well, shit. There's very low chance you'd meet him again so why not.

"Okay, so my sister's wedding is tomorrow and God I cannot stand her. Like literally cannot stand being in the same room as her and the worse thing about that is she basically told everybody to prepare their wedding messages in advance so she can review them. I mean..."

You almost want to take up on another stick he offers because thinking of the wedding is already stressing you enough.

"She is a manipulative bitch, to be honest. And I'm sure her soon to be husband's going to wake up from this dream and leave her crying. Can't say I'll console her though."

"You are so savage." He chuckles and chucks his cigarette in front of him and crushed it with his shoe. Probably a thousand-dollar shoe to be exact.

"You would say the same if you'd met her. I really wish you wouldn't. Your life will be totally ruined."

He shrugs his shoulders and you talked more about life like you knew each other for years already. You find out you have a lot in common and Chris is just that typical guy who loves video games, pizza and beer. Nothing too complicated except for his panty dropping smile and very inside-quivering laugh.

He made you laugh a couple of times but you made him touch his boob a lot more. There were no chance to say your name before he's called by his friend and you think he's not that interested because he never offered his number or anything. You're not that desperate anyways.

"So long, Miss Savage." He says and salutes at you before walking in the door to the bar.

"Goodbye, stranger. May we never meet again." You tip your head and spend the night pretending to be someone you're not.

--

A week later, you're seated at reception, your beige dress too tight in the middle. How come the seamstress forget the measurements or was this also your sister's doing. Being too meticulous yet again. You smile at the elderly couple at your table, trying to socialize even when all you want is to stay at home and eat your feelings away.

You fiddle with the speech your sister prepared for you. Of course, she saw to it that everything's perfect in her eyes. Just like every little thing in her life while growing up. You nervously picked on the invisible lint on your dress, getting anxious by the minute.

You'd want to crawl in a corner and smoke, even just one stick, to take the stress away. The last time you were free to smoke was days back with a certain stranger. Now, all you can do is stroll down memory lane because it won't happen for a long time.

Clinging on your fifth glass of champagne, the alcohol slowly seeping into your brain and you wish you wouldn't stutter while reading your sister's handwriting. Or your dear mother would scold you for days.

The festivities and music came to a halt and it's time for you to embarrass yourself. Your the only sibling so that means you'd have to speak after your parents and you wished they could've said something longer or cried, just to prolong your turn.

As your mother placed the mic on the table, the host called out your name and you internally cringed. Clutching and wrinkling the paper in your hands, you read the exact words your sister had written and as you blankly stare at the crowd, a familiar face popped up, grinning at you and shaking his head.

The fucking bastard.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" You accidentally said on the microphone, making the people gasped.

But you continued with your speech and completely forgot what was written. You cannot contain your laughter as you looked at Chris from across the room trying to hide his laughter while he covered his face with his hand.

Your sister is absolutely mortified when you ended your speech with "I hope you last" instead of what she'd written. Your parents' eyes are shooting daggers from their table. You'd have to worry about that later. But right now, you'd have to know what the hell is Chris Evans doing here.

"You..." You sat across from him and guests looked back at both of you, some in awe and some are just meh. But mostly your cousins and your sisters friends are giggling with excitement with Schamptain Schmerica being here.

"That was a nice speech." He say, smirking and sipping from his glass of champagne.

"You distracted me." Plucking a new glass from the waiter walking by, you gulp the liquid in one go. "Why are you here, exactly? At my sister's wedding?"

"A friend of a friend invited me. I swear I didn't know this was the same wedding we're talking about days ago. What are the odds?"

You look at him suspiciously and he just laughs his ass off. Finally, the first dance is happening and couples are dragging bodies on the dance floor while "I Shall Believe" by Sheryl Crow booms. Your sister must be so disgusted her first dance song not being "So Close" from Enchanted. But that's another sister breakdown waiting to happen.

"Can I have this dance?" Chris caught you off guard while you look at the people dancing on the dance floor.

"Me? Can you see that table full of girls just waiting for you to ask them?"

"Well, they're not my stranger, aren't they?"

You swear your heart skipped a beat at his words and you can't deny the tingles all over your body.

"Okay, then. I have two left feet. Just to warn you."

He chuckles and he smoothly maneuvered his way onto the dance floor and when the energetic songs played, he goofed around making you laugh.

A lot of people whipped out their phones and recorded him. He didn't care at all, he's just having the time of his life. He looks at you and for a moment, something shifted in the air. You're both looking at each other's lips as you stared and you don't know it but there's a magnet pulling you together.

He kisses you in front of a lot of people and you can't think of anything else but his warm tongue and soft lips against yours.

"You're going to break the internet yet again, Mr. Evans."

He smirks and planted another kiss on your lips, and you're lost again. And then another slow song played and he buried his face on the crook of your neck.

"Care for another date, stranger?" He whispers and you smile.

"Another date? We've never even had our first one."

"Consider this our first."

He sways along with the music and you smell his cologne, invading your senses like an intruder you'd want to stay. You feel his rigid muscles underneath his suit and you felt safe in his arms. He looks at you and you don't know if it's something you said or if there's something on your face.

"Don't tell me I have something in between my teeth."

He belly laughs and grabs his left boob, funnily a trademark I always see in his videos, and pulls you into a hug.

"People are staring, Christopher."

"Let them stare, Y/N."

[totheblood]

totheblood's sleepover

hi all! hope you are having a fun night, i wanted to do something fun in honor of me hitting 800 followers. i just recently started writing and can't believe i have hit this milestone and that this many people enjoy my writing! also a huge thanks to everyone over at @tshwritersnet, thank you for the endless support, kindness and friendship.

ships. send me a description about yourself and I'll ship you with a character (not limiting to marvel)

cast your mutuals. tell me what to cast my mutuals/friends as and i will!

character playlist. send me a character and i'll make a playlist for them

song recommendations. tell me about yourself and i'll give you a song that reminds me of you

fmk. fuck marry kill, pretty self explanatory?

moodboard. give me a vibe and a person and i'll make a moodboard for them

movie reviews. send me a movie and if i have seen it i will give my honest review on it

graphics. do you need a graphic? send me an ask with what you need it for, what you want it to say, colors and overall vibe, and i will do my best to make it for you

fic recs. tell me what you like, and i will suggest a fic for you

free compliments. send me your work, (fics, moodboards, playlists, graphics) and i'll compliment it

questions. ask me anything, and i will give you the honest answer.

advice. need advice? great! im great at giving advice.

rant/vent. if you need a place to let out your thoughts i'm here

get to know me. send me one of these prompts and answer it for yourself! so we get to know each other

blurbs. send me a prompt from the following list, who you want it written for, and i'll write a short blurb

broken trust

“ you broke your promise. “ “ i never intended on keeping it. “ “ thought you were one of the good ones. “ “ i can’t believe i'd be so stupid... [to trust you]. “ “ you broke your promise. why? “ “ you promised me. “ “ so? “ '' don’t bother with an apology. '' '' it’s my fault for being so naive. '' '' you don't deserve me. not anymore. '' '' trust goes both ways. '' “ you lied to me. “ '' trust is earned. you have to give it to get it. '' '' this wasn’t supposed to happen. '' '' you weren’t supposed to lie. “ “ why couldn’t you just be honest with me? “ “ what else did you break? “ '' i thought we could be honest with each other no matter what. '' '' why don't you trust me? '' “ think you can forgive me? “ “ maybe one day. but it’s gonna take some time. “ '' you don't think i trust you? '' '' well, clearly not! '' '' i know you don’t trust me... '' '' you should have known better. '' “ did i break your heart? “ “ i promise — “ “ don’t. “ '' you seriously expect me to trust you after the shit you just pulled? '' “ trust you? are you [fucking] serious? “

grumpy/sunshine prompts

“ it's different when [he's] with me. “ “ honestly, i don't get you two as a couple. “ “ you can do so much better. “ “ i love [her]. i know that might not be enough for you, but it is to me. “ “ [B] hates everyone. “ “ everyone but you. “ “ how could you possibly love someone like B? “ “ it's really none of your business who i'm dating. “ “ he's always been there for me when i needed him. “ “ you don't know [him] like i do. “ “ [he's] more relaxed in private. “ “ you love me, don't you? “ “ too much to function. “ '' how did you pull someone like that? '' '' how come i'm the one with a resting bitch face but you're the one with an attitude? '' '' you are sunshine incarnated. i hope you know that. '' '' but you're so cheery, and [he's] so... weird. '' '' [he's] not a bad person. '' '' you might be the only person i can tolerate, but not even you can bring out the best in me this early in the morning. '' '' you're lucky you're cute, because your eternal optimism is super annoying. '' '' you complement each other well. '' '' i've never seen you this happy with anyone before. '' '' [she] makes you smile. that's quite the achievement. '' '' oh my god, you're smiling? '' '' just because i happen to hate everyone else, doesn't mean i don't want to spend every second of my day with you. '' '' you're the only one who's ever going to see me this way. '' '' this way what? '' '' this happy. '' [beat] '' not counting our wedding day. '' '' smile. it's not gonna kill you. '' '' you're angry. '' '' i'm not angry, this is my everyday face. '' '' so what exactly did you do on your parents wedding day? '' '' uh... counted the hours until i could go home and play mario kart. ''

[trials-of-a-spirit-worker]

Expectations are Hollywood's Lies Witchcraft Edition: (Ghosts pt. 3)

Possession can be a bitch sometimes.

Expectation:

Reality:

The amount of human buffering sometimes is insane.

So, here's the thing about possession. It can be consensual. People allowed spirits in quite a bit on certain religions and practices. I mean...people invite the holy ghost in all the time don't they Christians? We all open the door for spirits in one way or another.

Other times...it cannot be consensual. And this is where it gets tricky. Not all possession is bad. Not all possession is good. Sometimes it's just a weird accident. I wouldn't be surprised if some spirit did just flop in a living person and is just in there.

So what would be considered consensual possession? Well, depends on who you ask. Though this is my post so we're going on what I think counts. My broad definition is allowing spiritual control of any part of you. Whether you're fully aware of what's happening or not, if a spirit has a hold of any part of you, I consider it possession. Here's why:

Even having a hold of one part of you, they can push their limits and take more if they so desire. Or at least try. The door is already open. They just have to come fully inside. It is not that hard to take advantage of that situation.

Partial possession (to me) is automatic writing, allowing a spirit to use your voice to speak, movement of a limb, small things like that.

There is a huge risk when it comes to possession and a huge act of trust to be a willing participant. Because you're opening the door wide open for a spirit. Sure the spirit may be someone you trust, but they could betray you, it could not be the spirit you think it is, or someone might beat the spirit you do trust to your body and take advantage.

Possession comes with a lot of risks. Warding and protection is essential, but it's like a condom; it's great to have, but it's not perfect. Sometimes spirits are stronger than the protections we have and it happens. Sometimes, they can work around it.

Non consenusal possession is what Hollywood loves to hype up. And don't get me wrong, it is a scary thing. I've dealt with this shit first hand after all! But Hollywood and media will definitely overdo it; especially when you're aware or actively fighting it. Holy shit.

Especially when it comes to demonic possession. Which is bad, true, but it looks like nothing you see in media. No floating, no head spinning, no black goop. No exorcist shit. Which like...sorry but not really. Let's be honest...If we really saw some shit like that...we wouldn't be alright.

Now, the crazy shit said...that...might have some merit to it. Spirits be knowing some shit or at the very least know how to push buttons.

Also! Lemme clear this right now. Chances are...none of you would ever grab the attention of a high demon to possess you. No, ❌0❌0 does not want your ass. Lucifer, Asmodeus etc...you have a much better chance of meeting and sleeping with your celeb crush twice. And that's not to say these entities want nothing to do with you or if you call on them for worship or whatever.

That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying playing with a Ouija board at Stacy's party will not bring forth massive players like that to possess y'all.

This ain't like the movies. This is not main character energy.

Now what do you do to push out an intruding spirit? I had a post for this, detailing my experience and advice but I'll throw a list down here as well..it's just more detailed on the other post.

Work smarter not harder.

Don't kill your stamina by fighting the spirit directly

Try and find people willing to help you; try not to isolate

Keep your head up and don't lose faith in yourself.

Do the things you enjoy especially if they try and keep you from doing it

My stupid possessor amplified my anger issues..so keep an eye on vices like that as well. Mal intending spirits will do that to weaken you. Other spirits most likely have the same vice and are trying to experience it again.

Now...demonic possession is...tricky. Multiple religions and such have had record of these events and depending on what you believe you can rid yourself of most of them. Most of these seem based in the big G god so holy water isn't a bad thing to keep up on. It's sort of like a basic tool. If you've been on here for a while you know I usually have a spray bottle of holy water hanging around. Shit, I even threw it in my diffuser. It was like a spirit bomb. I'm not very experienced with those but I do know a couple things.

Remain as calm as you can. Fear is natural, but panic will make all hell break loose.

Psalms verses seems to at the very least act as a deterrent so if you just happen to have some verses on hand I'd use them.

Doubt has no place in getting rid of a ghost let alone a demon. Any amount of spiritual warfare is psychological warfare. Even if you're not all that confident, fake it until you make it.

Possession is not easy. Not in the slightest. Even consensual, it can be massively draining. Keep snacks on hand, power through your session and rest well. Much luck to all of you. And truthfully, I hope you never have to experience possession that you didn't want.

It's not nearly as cool as Supernatural makes it out to be.

[blueeyedgeorgie]

Cancelled-Dream Was Taken

A/N: Surprise bitch. Weren’t we expecting for me to release mcyt fanfics soon? If I didn’t tag my usual @‘s it’s because idk if you’d like to be tagged for mcyt content.

Pronouns: she/her

Word Count: 2.3k+

_________________

"You're so harsh on him!" Her hands sat on the keyboard, staring at the green human that stood on Y/n's computer screen.

She needed to be careful. While this was a heated moment, she couldn't let herself get too loud for multiple reasons. If she got too loud, Dream's stream viewers would be able to tell she was in the next room or they would just receive noise complaints from their neighbors.

"No Y/n! You're too soft on him! He needs to learn that he can't get away with everything. You're setting him up for failure." As the h/c girl listened to her roommate speak, she had to remind herself over and over again; 'This wasn't real.' Dream was mad, not Clay.

This had all been arranged as roleplay. Y/n would be leaving in a few days to go visit some of her family for a reunion, so Wilbur had been the one to think up the brilliant idea of what was playing out now; an argument between Y/n and Dream. The plan was to have Y/n get so upset she didn't log onto the SMP for the next few days, only to come back with a master plan to backstab Dream.

At first, Clay wasn't really on board with the thought of him getting angry at Y/n. They had been together for a little over a year, there wasn't a single moment they had gotten upset with one another. But surprisingly, Y/n had been the one to convince Clay it was a good idea.

The fans knew Dream and Y/n had a close friendship, Dream had always been so protective of her. But when this was going down, they didn't know how to act.

Every time Y/n would glance at her chat, she'd see thousands of comments rising up as new ones appeared. Comment after comment, it looked like the fans were shocked by the way this stream was turning out.

"I'm not setting him up for anything! He's a kid, Dream!" Y/n glanced from the chat,  back at the screen showing her PC game. Standing on her screen was Dream and Tommyinnit, she had accompanied Dream to visit Tommy.

"You're just babying him! 'He's a kid!' Well, he needs to learn to grow up eventually," his voice had been filled with such spite. It felt weird to hear Clay speaking to her like this in such a tone.

For a moment, she stared at the green man before a short scoff escaped her lips. "I can't believe you." With that, Y/n had pressed a few keys, turning her character towards the nether portal a couple of yards away. Before Dream had gotten the chance to speak again, Y/n began to move away.

"Y/n! Come back here!"

She flicked a few buttons, taking a moment to look behind her character to see Dream following. Good, everything was going according to plan. Within the next few minutes, she'd be able to log off and she'd be on vacation for the next few days.

The h/c girl ignored the green man as she stepped through the portal, taking her to Minecraft's version of hell. Almost done, she just needed to find a good spot to stop as she listened to Dream continue to speak.

"You can't keep ignoring me! You know I'm right in this. You know you can't keep defending Tommy. You know Tommy is driving a wedge between us-"

Perfect. Y/n had stopped just on the edge of a bridge, molten lava sat feet below them. If she fell, she'd surely die. "No."

"No?" Dream was a bit surprised to hear Y/n cut him off, but he stayed silent as he was prepared to listen to what she had to say.

"No. No more. I don't wanna hear you blame Tommy for us breaking apart. I want you to listen to me. You've been acting like much more of a dick than usual and I hate it. I despise it. You've changed for the worst because you think you can step on everyone. At this point, everyone fears to tell you the truth-except me. I'll be a hundred percent honest with you, you've been so egotistical, it's really pissed me off. This is your fault, Dream. Not Tommy's. You exiled a child for pulling a prank on a vacation house! Not even George's real house!"

"But-"

"Shut the fuck up. I'm done, but I don't wanna hear you bullshit me. So shut the fuck up."

A moment of silence passed between them as Y/n stared at her screen. Just a few more steps.

And within seconds, Dream had pulled out his netherite sword. With one hit, she was falling back into lava. Y/n glanced at her chat, a look of shock on her face as she read over what a few comments said. A moment of silent tension had passed before Y/n had finally spoken up, removing her from the voice chat she was in.

"Alright guys, I guess that's enough for the day. I'll see you all... later." With that, she had clicked a few buttons, raiding Dream's live-stream as she ended hers.

For the next 20 to 30 minutes, Y/n knew Clay would be busy streaming. So she had decided to take a bit of time to wind down and think to herself.

Get a glass of water.

'Are the fans harassing him in his twitch chat?'

Sit down on the living room couch.

'The SMP fans were always so protective of me.'

Pet Patches.

'Was I too much when I snapped at him?'

It didn't seem like 30 minutes had passed when Clay had walked out of his streaming room, only to find Y/n on the couch with Patches in her lap. "Hey, N/n." "Oh, your stream is already over?" Y/n smiled, pulling herself out of her thoughts as she scoot over, giving Clay room to take a seat right by her.

"Yeah, did you lose track of time or something?"

"I must've. How did the chat react after I 'died'?" She smiled up at her boyfriend as he wrapped an arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer into his embrace.

"Everyone was filled with joy that you died."-Y/n playfully swatted at him. "Okay, okay! I got a few chat messages of people bashing me for it, but it's fine."

"Well, it's a good thing the chat wasn't completely littered with hate. How was it after my raid?"

"Honestly, not that bad as you expect. Like I said, just a few comments. Nothing bad, I just ignored it." Clay placed a hand on Patches's head, gently scratching her, followed by the animal beginning to purr.

"Good to hear, anyways... I'm not ready to pack. Do you think we can procrastinate?" The h/c girl let out a huff leaning against her boyfriend. "How?"

"I was thinking a bit of movie binging, cuddling, and ordering dinner?" A cheeky smile spread on her face as she spoke.

"It's like you read my mind."

The couple had made it through three movies, by now it was later at night. The sun had set and they had already door dashed some food. By now they were in the middle of watching 'The Empire Strikes Back.'

'I love you.' 'I know.'

The iconic moment between Hans and Leia had been interrupted by the sound of Clay's phone buzzing. "Why is George calling?"

"What?" Y/n was a bit curious herself. Considering the timezones, George should be asleep right now. Pausing the TV, she turned her attention to her boyfriend's phone.

"Hey Clay."

"What's up, George? Isn't it like early in the morning for you?" Clay raised a brow, moving his phone so Y/n would be able to see George as well.

"Yeah, I had to stay up to fix a YouTube video I need to get out today. I was about to go to bed and I checked Twitter-"

"Oh no." Clay made a short joke, only to be cut off by his friend.

"I don't know if it's trending for you in America, but you might as well look."

"What's going on?" He swiped up, taking him to his home screen so he could click on the little blue bird app. Y/n had grabbed her phone from the coffee table, opening up the app as well. "#Cancel Dream... #Y/n... #Dream SMP"

"Is... is Clay getting canceled for killing me in Minecraft?" Y/n scrolled through the tweets involving the hashtag 'Y/n.' She could see plenty of people defending her, but making it much bigger of a problem than it actually was.

"Oh, hey Y/n. But yeah, he is." George chuckled awkwardly, scrolling through his Twitter app as well.

"This is so fucking stupid."

"It really is. So we might as well get this cleared up with the fans as soon as possible. Do you want me to tweet something, or do you want to?" Y/n looked up at her boyfriend, it looked like he was thinking.

"Yeah, I'll tweet it. Don't worry about this, Y/n."

"Alright, whatever you say," she replied, pulling a blanket over her as she waited for Clay to finish typing his response.

"Here's what I'm gonna say: 'I can't believe you guys actually think me and @(y/n) are in an actual fight in real life. We have been good friends since forever, the fight was only roleplay. I love that you guys are so protective of Y/n, but no one's actually upset.' How's that sound?"

"I think that's good," George hummed softly.

"Yeah, I doubt you'll stay 'canceled' once you've explained to them it was all part of the SMP lore." The h/c girl smiled up at her boyfriend with a small nod.

"Alright, I'm gonna post it. George, I think you should go to bed because you're half asleep already."

Y/n turned, looking at her boyfriend's iPhone. "Go to sleep, Gogy!"

"Alright, alright... I'll talk to you guys later." The call had ended with Clay and Y/n saying goodbye to their friend while George simply yawned to them as a response.

As soon as the call was over, Clay looked at the response to his tweet. It didn't seem to be going too well. There had been a few fans who understood what was going on and responded with a paragraph as an apology for the misunderstanding. But most replies had been telling Clay he was bullshitting the fans or that he wasn't being honest.

"I'm sorry, Clay," his girlfriend had huffed as she read through the responses to his tweet.

"Honestly I'm just a bit pissed off. Literally, any time someone tries to 'cancel' me, it's over something stupid. I'm not a bad guy, it just feels like some people just don't want to see me succeed." Clay had excused himself to grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

It hurt Y/n to hear how upset her boyfriend was. He never got too upset over things, but seemed to take a small toll on him. "Hold on. Let me say something." The h/c girl couldn't be asked to post multiple tweets of her response to hate sent towards Clay over the internet. So what was better than a short video that could be posted to the blue bird app?

"Um, hey guys. I'd just like to make this quick. Stop sending hate towards Dream. The fight was roleplay and nothing more. I'm gonna be busy for the next couple of days so Wilbur thought of a good idea to help build SMP lore with me and Dream and we both agreed to the argument. Now stop sending the green man hate, or I'll commit war crimes or something-"

Y/n had been interrupted by the sound of Clay letting out a small giggle. "What? What did I say?"

"Nothing, just keep going with your video."

"Whatever, I'm cool. No matter what Dream says. Anyways, I'll speak to you all later." Y/n had hit the red button again, ending her video. Within seconds, the video had been uploaded to her Twitter account.

Placing her phone back down on the table, Y/n approached her boyfriend, wrapping her arms around his torso. "I'm really sorry about the hate, Clay. I love you."

"Don't apologize for something you can't control. I love you more." The brunette held his partner close, accepting her hug. Y/n always loved his hugs, she always felt so safe in his embrace.

The rest of the night had been spent with more cuddling and more Star Wars movies. Hours had passed before Y/n had even thought about the Twitter situation again. But for some reason, she had decided to look at the app again tonight.

It was 2 in the morning by now, Clay was half asleep. His head laid in the h/c girl's lap as she brushed a hand through his hair, her free hand opening up her Twitter app once again.

It had been a bit of a surprise to see a couple of trending hashtags had changed so quickly. What was trending now was #Dream, #Y/n,#(ship name), and #Dream's Laugh. This had to be about Y/n's short clip she posted. And by the looks of it, people had stopped acting so harsh towards Clay. But instead, they had decided to focus on the fact Dream and Y/n were hanging out together. Not to mention the fact Dream and let out a stupid little giggle because of Y/n. People had been apologizing to him through Twitter for being so hard on him.

"Babe."

"Hm?" Clay mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

"Pretty much everyone is apologizing to you over Twitter for being hardasses."

"Hm, that's good to hear."

"You're really tired, huh?" Y/n paused her scrolling to look down at her boyfriend.

"Yeah," He continued to mumble, followed by a short yawn.

"Alright, time for bed, babe." Y/n smiled to herself, beginning to carefully move away from Clay. "I can pack tomorrow and we can laugh over the stupid bird app tomorrow after you've gotten a good amount of sleep."

"I still can't believe Twitter tried canceling me over roleplay."

"I can't believe you got uncancelled by shippers."

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