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jungkoode · 2 months ago

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死 KKANGPAE | #14 死

† camping trip mysteries †

"You'd have never said you'd be involved in a Council of 9 meeting at any point in your life; yet here you are, suddenly thrusted into a mission with the Chief you've just hooked up with, because your life couldn't possibly get more complicated."

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⚔ chapter details ⚔

word count: 9k

content: female friendships, silly conversations, Vyunjin, dodgeball, AD being horrible with throws, cryptic stuff, council meetings, having to work with jeon officially, gang loyalty and bestie gossip

☠ author's note ☠

I really milked this camping trip for all it's worth, huh? Three whole chapters of outdoor shenanigans! I regret NOTHING. Anyway, here's the conclusion of our little nature excursion! Hope you enjoyed this slightly more chill setting (apart from, y'know, chapter 12's 👉🏻👌🏻 situation) because don't worry—there's PLENTY of time for everything to go spectacularly to shit later <3

MY KIWI HEAD 🥝🤧 I genuinely love him so much and I'm as surprised as you are! Who would have thought?? I seriously had ZERO intentions for Takama when I started this—no plan, no backstory, nothing. He just showed up in my brain one day demanding rights.

Maybe I love him so much because he's the only one with more than two functioning brain cells? Like, the man is just... chill. Nice. Using his fucking brain. Being all wise and grounding while everyone else is having emotional crises left and right. THE VOICE OF REASON IN THIS CIRCUS.

Takama x Reader endgame??? Jkjk this is a Jeon Jungkook fanfic ☝️ ...which doesn't mean shit won't happen before/after 👀

ANYWAY I'll leave you to make your own assumptions about our kiwi boy. All I'm saying is that sometimes characters write themselves into your heart and there's nothing you can do about it. Is it just me as an author having unhealthy attachments to my own creations? PROBABLY! You tell me!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go cry about my fictional characters for the fifth time this week. It's only Tuesday. Send help.

xoxo 💋

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tumblr/twitter: @jungkoode

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

The morning hike with Chaewon was exactly what you needed—fresh air, quiet trails... No drama.

But of course, you can't have nice things in Kkangpae.

Not when you return to find V lounging on a log like some tragic hero while J-Hope patches up his split lip.

"What the hell happened here?"

You eye the scene, already getting a headache. The thorny scent of roses fills your lungs as V gives you what immediately recognize as a smug smile.

"Just a little disagreement." V's smile is all teeth despite his busted lip. "Jeon can get rather feisty when he wants to."

J-Hope just rolls his eyes, clearly done with V's bullshit. He hands you a sanitary napkin without looking up, too busy sorting through his medical supplies—which basically means please help me deal with this drama queen.

You crouch next to V, ignoring how his eyes track your movement like he's a cat and you're the bird he wants to catch. The napkin comes away bloody when you dab at his lip, and his body tenses slightly under your touch—barely noticeable if you weren't trained to pick up on these things.

"Careful now." His voice drops low, playful. "I might bite."

You don't miss a beat.

"You bite, you get no help." The words come out flat, unimpressed. "I'm not one of your fangirls, V."

His games might work on others, but you've seen enough of his thorny side to know better.

Those roses have teeth.

A low chuckle breaks the tension. J-Hope's back with his medical supplies, but V's still watching you—though now with something that might be respect.

Or whatever passes for respect in that thorny mind of his.

"You really had it coming this time." J-Hope clicks his tongue, cranky doctor mode fully activated as he settles back down. "Jeon isn't someone you poke for fun without expecting consequences."

"Me?" V's eyebrow shoots up, all wounded innocence. "I was just having a friendly chat. Who knew our brooding Chief still had some fight left in him?"

The act doesn't fool anyone—especially not J-Hope, who (you bet your ass) has been patching up the aftermath of V's friendly chats' for years.

"Friendly chat?" J-Hope scoffs, dabbing at V's lip with more force than strictly necessary. "You two always turn everything into a dick-measuring contest. One of these days someone's gonna end up with worse than a busted lip."

V leans toward you like he's sharing a secret, mischief written all over his features. "He's just worried he'll run out of medical supplies if we keep this up."

You expect J-Hope to snap back—he usually does when people get like this.

But he just sighs, shoulders heavy with a worry that feels too genuine for the Kkangpae's ruthless doctor.

"Or maybe I'm worried you'll end up with a split skull, dumbass."

It's weird, the way it dribbles from his lips—like actual concern.

Which is weird in a place like this, where caring too much can get you killed. But then again, J-Hope's always been different. Maybe that's why he's one of the few people V actually listens to.

Sometimes?

V's eyes meet yours, like he's either hunting for something or escaping whatever was swirling in the doctor's pupils. Though, as everything with V, it vanishes instantly behind that shark-like grin.

"Ah, Hobi, always looking out for me. What would I do without you?"

"Probably be lying in a ditch somewhere." J-Hope says it casually, but his snark feels less blunt now.

He gives V's shoulder a quick pat—kinda saying 'you're patched up, now get out of my face.' V nods his thanks, but his attention is already sliding back to you. His gaze lingers a bit too long, assessing.

"You've got a steady hand," he drawls, and you know he's not just talking about your first aid skills.

Thorns prickle your skin.

"And you've got a death wish." You hand the bloody napkin back to J-Hope, keeping your voice flat.

Unimpressed.

V's laugh shatters in the quiet. "Oh, you're interesting. I like you."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" You arch an eyebrow at him. "Coming from someone who just got his ass handed to him by Jeon, I'm not sure how much that's worth."

His smile widens; ever so slightly. Like what you said made him feel something—bad or good, you really don't care, but it's like his vines are slowly creeping into your lungs.

You just sigh, shrug it off. It's not your problem.

You've got enough on your plate without getting caught up in whatever dick-measuring contest is going on between V and Jeon.

Your attention abruptly shifts to Takama, sitting cross-legged in the grass like some zen master on his coffee break. Despite looking perfectly relaxed with his can of coffee, you know better—the man's probably cataloguing every movement in a three-mile radius.

He's just that kind of observant. It's just how he is, what he does, that much is clear from your training sessions with him.

Persistent without being belligerent; consistent without being insistent.

It's weird seeing him in casual clothes. The navy sweater and white collar combo is a far cry from his usual tactical gear, making him look almost... normal. Like he could be anyone's slightly intimidating older brother instead of Jeon's deadly second-in-command. Even his loose jeans seem deliberately chosen for comfort rather than combat.

He doesn't move a muscle as you approach, eyes fixed on the horizon like his mind has found refuge among the spongy dunes skittering away in the sky.

Or maybe he's just really into his morning coffee.

You plop down beside him, the damp grass immediately soaking through your pants because of course it does.

"Peaceful morning, isn't it?"

You break the silence, knowing Takama won't. Man's got the conversation skills of a particularly stoic rock when he wants to.

There's something calming about his presence though.

Like he's the drizzle after the hurricane.

Plus, he probably won't try to murder anyone over breakfast. Unlike some people you could name.

"Peace is rare around here." The corner of Takama's mouth quirks up slightly. "Savor it while it lasts."

You settle into the comfortable silence, watching the horizon paint itself in morning colors. Next to Takama, even coffee breaks feel philosophical.

"You and V," he starts, offering you the can. "You get along?"

You grab it and take a sip, considering your answer. The coffee's gone lukewarm.

"Hmm."

Yeah that's your answer, because you don't really know what to reply. It's definitely not a yes, but you don't... hate him either?

"He's a wildcard, but I can handle him," is what you end up settling for.

What follows is Takama's laugh—quiet, understated like everything else about him.

"V is... unpredictable. But he's loyal to the gang, in his own way." He pauses, choosing words carefully. "Just watch your back. Testing people is how he entertains himself."

You pass the can back, watching him take another sip. The liquid works through a swallow down his throat, and his Adam's apple bobs slightly. His head tilts towards you when he notices you've gone silent.

"And Jeon? How do you find working with him?"

The question makes your skin prickle, and you know it's not because of how sudden it is—but because of something else, as well.

Images from last night force their way through your mind like a wiggling worm unwilling to let go—callouses on skin, that silver lip ring, the way he'd touched you like you might break.

You take your time answering, very aware that this is Jeon's right-hand man asking—and that your neck probably still has marks his mouth left behind.

But you're not about to tell Takama that.

"He's... intense." You focus on shredding a blade of grass, needing something to do with your hands. "But we kind of... get each other, I guess."

Takama finally looks at you, and fuck—there's way too much understanding in those gray eyes.

Because with V you have a noncommittal answer.

But you just said you get along with Jeon. Kinda.

He doesn't comment on it, and it makes sense—being Jeon's second means he probably sees more than most.

About how hard exactly it is to be in Jeon's circle. Not part of it, not even near—just hovering.

It's not easy, you know that much.

"Jeon respects strength," he says quietly, like he's sharing a secret. "Stand your ground, and you'll earn his respect."

A pause. Then he adds, hushedly:

"Maybe more."

Your pupils flicker between his, trying to parse whatever the hell he means—but nothing in there gives you a hint.

He simply smiles, getting up and helping you up too.

You both turn back to watch the camp wake up, the morning routine starting to buzz around you.

Someone's cursing about cold showers. Someone else is complaining about AD.

You take another sip of lukewarm coffee, letting the bitterness ground you. It's easier than thinking about what maybe more might mean, or why your stomach churns at the thought.

Besides, you've got enough on your plate just dealing with regular Jeon.

You don't need to add cryptic messages to that mess.

The peaceful morning doesn't last long—because this is Kkangpae you're talking about.

Moon's voice cuts through your post-gossip haze, drawing everyone to the center of the camp like a very formal shepherd. Some people look about as thrilled as you feel about being up this early.

"All right, everyone!" He's got that tone—the one that says 'this is mandatory fun and you're going to like it.' "For today's lunch, we're doing something different. Group bibimbap, but with a twist: you'll work in pairs."

A ripple of murmurs spreads through the crowd. You catch Takama's eye—he just raises an eyebrow like 'here we go again'.

"These pairings," Moon continues, all business in his long coat despite the casual setting, "are chosen to mix different divisions and personalities. It's about teamwork and learning from each other."

You barely hold back a snort. Trust Moon to turn lunch prep into a team-building exercise.

Your attention snaps back when he calls out, "Y/N, you're paired with JM. I expect great things from you two."

Well, that could've been worse. At least JM's not likely to stab you over vegetable chopping techniques.

When you reach him, he's already smiling that gentle smile that makes him look more like a kindergarten teacher than a gang's financial mastermind.

"Looks like we're a team." His voice matches his whole vibe—calm as a lake on a windless day. "Any ideas on what we should tackle?"

You're about to answer when a groan cuts through your chat with JM.

You turn to see AD looking like someone just deleted his gaming setup, while J-Hope's already got that 'done with this shit' smile plastered on his face.

"Bro, why the fuck am I always paired with your annoying ass?" AD slumps against a tree, all dramatic like the gremlin he is.

J-Hope just rolls his eyes. "Because Moon loves to torture me, that's why. Come on, let's just get this over with."

Your eyes inevitably roam around the clearing, taking in the other pairings.

Jeon and Chaewon—they acknowledge each other with matching professional nods, something like 'we respect each other but let's keep this strictly business' hovering over them.

Takama and Jessi make an oddly perfect pair, his zen energy somehow containing her wildfire spirit as they huddle together, already plotting.

V's got Yunjin trapped in what looks like his usual chaotic storytelling, though she seems to be holding her own—and then there's Eunchae and Sakura, who look like they're planning to turn lunch prep into some kind of competition.

Meanwhile, Kazuha's hanging onto Moon's every word like he's sharing the secrets of the universe instead of just bibimbap instructions.

"So." JM's gentle voice pulls you back. "Should we handle the veggies? I think we could make a great team in chopping and prepping them."

"Sounds good to me." You find yourself matching his easy smile. "Let's show them how it's done."

At least someone in this chaos circus knows how to be normal.

You follow JM to gather supplies, falling into an easy rhythm. His gentle energy is oddly reassuring, and makes even veggie prep feel zen.

Plus, he actually knows what he's doing, which is more than you can say for half the pairs around you.

Because AD's already whining about something while J-Hope ignores him completely.

Yeah; that's Kkangpae for you.

But then you catch sight of V with Yunjin and your stomach turns, why, you don't know. Poor Yunjin's holding her knife like she's never seen one before, eyes darting around nervously.

And its knives, so yeah, V swoops right in.

"Let me show you," he purrs, and fuck him for actually sounding smooth.

You see his hand sliding over hers, like he isn't the same person who had blood on his lip an hour ago.

"There's a rhythm to it, like a dance." You watch him press closer, caging Yunjin with his body while he guides the knife. "Feel the movement. It's about confidence, purpose."

"Like this?" Yunjin's voice is small, breathless.

"Exactly like that." He eases into it. "Every slice tells a story of precision and care. And you, Yunjin, have a knack for it."

You grip your own knife tighter, fighting the urge to stab those thorny vines right out of the air. He's charming, you'll give him that.

But you fear the sweet floral scent roses simply masks decaying waste underneath.

And he needs to stay the fuck away from Yunjin.

You can't help noticing how she melts under his attention, all shy smiles and batting eyelashes. Like a moth drawn to a particularly deadly flame.

"There, you're a pro now." V steps back with a wink.

"Thanks, V." Yunjin beams up at him. "I think I've got it from here."

A slight movement catches your eye—JM's knife has stopped mid-chop.

His gaze darts between V and Yunjin like he's watching a car crash in slow motion, and it's real subtle, but you catch the way his jaw tightens.

"JM," you keep your voice casual, "you seem a bit distracted. Everything okay?"

He snaps back to his vegetables, gentle smile sliding back. "Oh, it's nothing. Just... observing the dynamics. It's interesting to see how different personalities interact, don't you think?"

You nod, watching V circle Yunjin. "True. Especially with V. Makes you wonder what goes on behind that smile."

"Exactly." His smile is halfhearted at best. "Sometimes, the most cheerful faces hide the deepest stories."

The way he says it makes you wonder just how many of V's stories JM knows.

And how many of them keep him up at night.

You and JM fall into a comfortable rhythm again, just hearing AD complaining about something, Eunchae's bright laughter, the clatter of pots and pans.

Then—crash.

Your head snaps up, muscles tensing automatically. Old habits die hard in Kkangpae.

It's Chaewon.

She's standing frozen, an overturned pot at her feet, staring at one of Jessi's guys like she's seen a ghost. His hand hangs awkwardly in the air where it had brushed against hers. You can see her breathing speed up—tell-tale sign of panic she's never shown before.

JM's knife stills mid-chop. Before you can blink, he's already moving toward her.

Jessi's there too, quickly motioning for the guy to back off—and he does, looking confused and apologetic, but you notice how Chaewon's shoulders drop slightly once he's out of reach.

JM murmurs something to her, too low for you to hear (though you bet that gentle voice of his could probably talk down a rabid bear). Chaewon gives a tiny nod, but her knuckles are still white where she's gripping her sleeve.

When Jessi touches her shoulder, you catch that silent conversation between the three of them.

The kind that comes from knowing someone's demons intimately.

"Alright, everyone, back to work." Jessi shouts. "Nothing to see here. Let's keep the focus on the task at hand."

Everyone turns back to their tasks, but you don't miss how JM stays close to Chaewon, or how Jessi's eyes keep scanning the crowd like she's daring anyone to make this worse.

JM hovers near her for another minute before coming back to your chopping station, and when he does, he picks up his knife and starts slicing carrots like nothing's happened at all.

"Guess we all have our off days, huh?" You keep your voice light, casual. No pressure.

JM's knife stills for a moment. He doesn't look up.

"Everyone has ghosts they're running from." The words come out soft. "Some just hide them better than others."

You let the silence settle. There's an unspoken rule in the gang—you don't go digging in other people's graveyards unless they hand you the shovel first.

"I'm gonna wash up," you mutter, already heading for the makeshift sink, feeling like he needs some silence before being back to normal.

Behind you, JM's knife resumes its path against the cutting board.

You're shaking water off your hands when footsteps approach from behind. Months in Kkangpae have taught you to be alert even for something as mundane as washing up after veggie prep.

"So you do know how to clean up."

The low drawl sends heat crawling up your spine. You know that voice—and the smirk that goes with it—without having to turn around.

"Turns out, I'm full of surprises." You flick excess water in Jeon's direction, catching his dangerous half-smile when you glance over your shoulder.

His chuckle hits you right in the gut, deep and rich and —fuck—suddenly all you can think about is last night.

His hands, his mouth, the way he'd made you shatter.

"Surprising indeed." There's that smug tone again. "Especially since I recall someone being too fucked out to help with cleanup duty."

"Well," you drop your voice low, just for him, "if you hadn't made such a goddamn mess, there'd have been less to clean up."

Your body remembers how close you'd been—how you'd ground against each other like teenagers, desperate and needy.

How his cock had felt pressed against you, so close but not close enough because someone didn't bring protection.

The frustration from last night still burns under your skin, reminder of what could have been.

If he'd just been prepared...

Jeon steps closer, and—fuck—even after last night, his presence still makes your skin prickle.

"A mess, you say? The way I remember it, you were just as responsible for the chaos."

"Chaos?" You meet his gaze head-on, refusing to back down even as heat crawls up your neck. "Don't flatter yourself, Jeon. It was... mild disarray at best."

His grin widens, and you hate how your eyes keep tracking that stupid lip piercing.

"Mild disarray? You were panting like you'd run through every back alley in Seoul."

You scoff, trying not to remember how he'd made you shake, how his hands had felt mapping every inch of you.

"Breathless, maybe. But let's not blow it out of proportion."

"Hah." His eyes narrow. "You've got a sharp tongue. But we both know—"

A shout from across the camp makes you both freeze. Your eyes meet his for a split second before you step apart, smooth as shadows. Professional. Like you weren't just thinking about climbing him like a tree.

Again.

You turn away, finally letting out that breath you'd been holding.

The banter gets you hot under the collar but fuck if you don't want more. Not that you'll admit that.

Even if part of you is already plotting round two.

This time with actual protection. Because seriously.

"Anyway," his voice cuts through your thoughts, "we should get back to work. Long day ahead."

"Right." You nod, and then go right back to prepping veggies.

Yeah. This is going to be a very long day indeed.

The smell of bibimbap hits different after spending all morning chopping vegetables next to JM's weirdly zen energy.

And yup—everyone's gathering around the portable tables, looking stupidly proud of their contributions like they didn't just spend half the morning complaining about Moon's team-building exercise.

You grab a spot next to Yunjin, who's already halfway through telling you about her latest drama obsession; eyes practically sparkling as she waves her chopsticks around.

"No but listen—the main lead thinks his brother died in that fire, right?" She leans in close, pink hair falling in her face. "But then in episode sixteen we find out he's actually been alive this whole time! Living in China!"

You nearly choke on your rice. "That's the most unrealistic plot twist I've ever—"

"Mind if I join?" Takama's calm voice slices through Yunjin's enthusiastic plot summary; slight smile that makes him look more like a monk than Jeon's deadly second-in-command.

"Pull up a chair." You scoot over to make room. "Yunjin's educating me on the finer points of melodrama."

"Ah." His eyes crinkle as he settles in. "The ones where everyone's secretly related and nobody stays dead?"

"Exactly!" Yunjin beams. "Like this one where the brooding CEO's got a secret relationship—"

"Should've fought harder for the meat distribution," you murmur, poking at your mostly vegetable bibimbap.

Before you can finish sighing about your protein deficiency, Takama's chopsticks appear in your line of sight, depositing a generous portion of beef onto your plate.

"Here. I prefer vegetables anyway."

"Liar." But you're already mixing the meat into your rice, trying not to look too pleased. "Thanks."

Yunjin pouts at that, surely expecting some meat too (even when her plate shows basically 0 vegetables anyway). You kick her under the table, and she almost bounces with a chuckle.

"So, V's actually a really good teacher," she says dreamily, pushing her rice around. "Did you know he used to work in a restaurant?"

You cough.

V's "restaurant" experience probably involved more knife-work than cooking.

"Is that so?" Takama asks, slightly puzzled.

"Mhm!" She sighs, all starry-eyed. "And he's so patient. The way he showed me how to hold the knife—"

"Speaking of knives," Takama cuts in smoothly, "your technique has improved, Y/N. Been practicing?"

You're grateful for the subject change. Watching Yunjin moon over V is like watching a butterfly land on a Venus flytrap.

"Yeah, well. Can't let the Seduction Division down, right?"

His smile is small but genuine. "Right."

Movement then catches your eye—Chaewon's heading your way, black bob bouncing with each step. She smiles when she spots you, but you don't miss how she falters slightly when she notices Takama. Her eyes dart between him and the empty space beside you, calculating.

For a second, you think she might turn around.

But then she simply strides over like she owns the place, sliding into the spot next to you.

You don't miss how she angles her body away from Takama, though.

"What's got everyone looking so serious?" She bumps your shoulder playfully. "Don't tell me Yunjin's got you all hooked on her dramas too."

"Not all of us can be as cultured as Yunjin." You grin as Yunjin pretends to be offended. "We were just discussing the finer points of V's... cooking techniques."

That makes Yunjin blush, but Chaewon's eyes sharpen. You catch that protective glint—the same one she gets whenever any of the male members get too close to her division.

"Oh?" Her voice is light, but there's steel underneath. "And how did you find our resident psychopath's teaching methods?"

"Come on, he was really patient!" Yunjin pipes up. "And his hands were so—"

"Speaking of hands," Chaewon interjects quickly, "I heard there was quite the incident at morning coffee. Something about Jeon's right hook meeting V's face?"

Trust Chaewon to steer the conversation away from V's charms while gathering intel in the same breath. Sometimes you forget she's your Chief for a reason.

Heels on grass make your eyes stutter behind Chaewon's silhouette.

It's Jessi; obviously—who claims the spot next to Takama, all long red hair and confident energy.

She's probably the only person who can make eating bibimbap look like a power move.

"Well, well." She waves her chopsticks at your little group. "What's this about dramas? Please tell me someone's finally calling out how unrealistic those chaebol storylines are."

"We were discussing layers," you explain, watching her pile kimchi onto her rice with the same precision she probably uses to plan weapons shipments. "You know, how people aren't always what they seem."

"Like how our fearless Chief here—" she angles her head towards Chaewon, "—pretends to be all business, but I caught her crying over cat videos last week?"

"That was one time." Chaewon tries to glare but can't quite hide her smile. "And you promised not to tell."

"Please." Jessi snorts. "Everyone knows you're a softie under all that badassery. Remember when you threatened to shoot that guy who made Eunchae cry?"

"He deserved it." Chaewon's voice goes flat, protective instincts flashing. "Nobody messes with my girls."

"And that's exactly what we mean," Yunjin pipes up, somehow making even this observation sound sweet. "Everyone's got different sides. Like how Jessi acts tough but always saves the last strawberry milk for AD."

"Oi—" Jessi points her chopsticks at Yunjin threateningly, but there's no malice in it. "Just for that, you're testing all the new rifles when we get back to the castle. Someone needs to make sure they don't jam."

Something about the easiness of the conversation makes something unfurl in your chest.

It's weird seeing these deadly women just... being friends. Sharing lunch and inside jokes like they aren't some of the most dangerous people in Seoul.

But then again, maybe that's exactly what Yunjin meant about layers.

"Sooo," Jessi prompts, "who wants to share their deep dark secrets? Come on, don't be shy."

"Real subtle, Joo." Chaewon rolls her eyes, but you catch that tiny smile she always gets around Jessi. "What's next, trust falls?"

"I'd let you fall." Jessi winks, making Chaewon snort into her rice.

Takama, who's been quiet this whole time, surprises everyone by speaking up. "Sometimes the secrets we keep aren't about trust. Sometimes they're about protection."

"Like how we all pretend AD doesn't secretly feed the stray cats behind the castle?" Yunjin singsongs then.

That breaks the tension, sending ripples of laughter around the group.

Even Takama cracks a smile.

"Or how Jessi acts tough but cried during that dog commercial last week?" Chaewon dodges the grape Jessi throws at her head.

"That dog was reunited with its family," Jessi hisses, but she's fighting back a grin. "Forgive me for having a heart."

"Yeah, buried somewhere under those nine inch heels."

You smile at that, and you note how the sun is high over head now, warming skin through the trees.

You should probably get back to work—those intel reports won't file themselves. But for now, you let yourself enjoy this moment of peace.

Even gang members need lunch breaks sometimes.

Dodgeball is usually fun. Keyword: usually—because when it's among deadly people... competitiveness is too light of a word.

You're in the middle of debating some strategy with Yunjin when Jeon's presence immediately freezes the whole camp. One second you're planning how to take down AD's team (he might be a tech genius but his aim is shit), and the next—

"Meeting. Council of 9, now."

Jeon's voice is calm, as usual. But it's precise, blunt in a way that makes your hackles rise. His face gives nothing away—typical—but something in his posture screams urgent.

The Council members share quick looks before following him into the trees. Moon's already at his side, glasses catching the sunlight. Chaewon squeezes your shoulder as she passes, and Jessi winks at Yunjin, but neither stops to explain.

Just like that, your cozy little camping trip turns into a war room—playful energy from moments ago gone, leaving behind the familiar sensation that comes with being in a criminal organization.

"Damn." Yunjin drops onto the bench beside you, pink hair falling in her face. "Even on a camping trip, we can't escape the threats."

Your little lunch group now feels weirdly empty without Jessi's loud energy and Chaewon's dry comments. You catch yourself staring at the path where they disappeared, like maybe if you look hard enough you'll develop x-ray vision.

So much for that epic dodgeball tournament you'd planned. Although honestly? Getting hit with rubber balls suddenly seems like the least of your problems.

"It's just how things work around here." Takama shrugs, wiping sweat from his shaved head.

Of course the dodgeball game's been put on hold, everyone too distracted by the Council's sudden disappearance to focus.

"Hey, Takemichi!" Eunchae bounces over, still flushed from running around. "Any idea what's going on? You're like, Jeon's right hand and all."

Takama's eye twitches at the nickname, but he doesn't comment on it. "No clue. But Jeon doesn't call meetings without good reason. Especially not during planned activities."

Your eyes drift to where the Council members vanished into the trees. It's odd seeing Jeon actually interact with people—the man's about as social as a brick wall. Even J-Hope, who he supposedly tolerates, barely gets more than grunts out of him most days. That whole don't-fuck-with-me hurricane aura of his keeps everyone at a safe distance.

And yet.

You'd fucked him.

Well, kinda.

Heat crawls up your neck as you mentally reminisce about last night.

Pride mingles with something else as you remember that untouchable Chief's face when he came all over your belly.

Focus, dumbass. Now isn't the time to replay your greatest hits. If Jeon's gathering the Council in the middle of fucking dodgeball, something's definitely wrong.

"Do you think it's..." Yunjin chews her lip, lowering her voice. "MDF?"

The mention of Myung-dong Faction makes everyone's faces go pale.

"Hard to say." Takama's voice drops to barely above a whisper. "But we did just wreck their trafficking ring. Hanjun's gone now. They're not known for letting that kind of thing slide."

You share a look with Yunjin and Eunchae. You remember Hanjun from your last mission—the way he'd crumpled when Kkangpae was done with him.

The way his whole operation had fallen apart like a house of cards.

Sakura's usually bright face is serious as she crouches next to you. "If it's MDF, we're fucked."

"They've been too quiet." Kazuha runs a hand through her wine-colored hair, eyes scanning the treeline like she expects assassins to materialize. "That's not their style. Not after what we did to their golden boy."

And she's right, isn't she? MDF isn't known for their forgive-and-forget attitude. Their silence these past weeks has been... unsettling. Like holding your breath underwater, knowing you'll have to surface eventually.

"Whatever it is, we need to be ready." Eunchae sighs. "Can't let our guard down. Not even here."

"We need to be united now more than ever." Takama's voice rumbles low as he scans the treeline."Division only makes us vulnerable, they might aim for that."

And he's right; because Kkangpae's strength isn't just in its firepower—it's in moments like this, when everyone's got each other's backs.

"Whatever the Council needs," you say, meaning it. "We've got their six."

The group falls quiet, the forgotten dodgeball lying between you like some sad metaphor for your interrupted normalcy. Somewhere in the distance, a bird calls. You almost miss it under the sound of your heart pounding.

A rustle in the bushes makes you lean back.

Though it's just J-Hope, looking way too serious for someone who was laughing at AD's failed dodgeball throws ten minutes ago.

"They need you." His eyes find yours, steady and unreadable. "Jeon asked for you specifically."

You share a quick look with Takama, and he's wearing the same exact puzzled expression as you.

"Me? Why would he—"

J-Hope just shakes his head. Great. Because being summoned by the dude you almost fucked last night during a secret Council meeting isn't complicated enough.

But you don't really have much choice, so you trail behind J-Hope like a kid being called to the principal's office, mind racing faster than your heart.

What the actual fuck could Jeon want? And why during the middle of dodgeball, of all things?

The Council's little forest hideaway comes into view, and suddenly you've got nine pairs of eyes drilling into you.

Great. Just great. Nothing like being stared at by the most dangerous people in Seoul while you're in workout clothes and probably still red-faced from almost getting beaned by AD's wild throws.

Jeon stands like a statue among them, and he speaks immediately upon seeing you.

"We have a situation that needs your input."

No greeting, no explanation, just straight to the point. Pure Jeon. You'd roll your eyes if you weren't so aware of every Council member watching you.

"Remember your first mission?" Chaewon continues. "The women we rescued? You were the only one who actually saw them in that room."

Of course you remember—hard not to, even if you wish you wouldn't.

That cramped, dark room with its rusty bars and stale air. Women huddled in corners like broken birds, some too afraid to even look up when you'd entered.

Your first real taste of what the Seduction Division actually does.

Not the glamorous spy shit you'd imagined, but the ugly, necessary work of saving people from monsters.

"Remember what any of the women looked like?" Chaewon presses.

You try to remember, but the thing that comes first is the smell of fear and desperation—thick enough to choke on.

Then it's their faces. Burned into your brain. And then... hers.

"There was one girl," you start carefully, watching the Council's reactions. "Couldn't have been more than eighteen. Skinny thing, but her eyes..."

You pause, searching for the right words.

"Even in that shithole, she was... I don't know. Like she was just waiting for a chance to burn the whole place down."

You catch the tiny shift in Jessi's jaw, the way her fingers tighten around her weapon.

The air feels like a forest fire waiting to happen.

"Dark reddish-brown hair," you continue, the details getting clearer as you speak. "Matted to hell, but you could tell it was beautiful once. And the way she held herself..."

"That's enough." Jeon interrupts you. "Your recollection could prove useful. We believe that girl is connected to one of our own. This isn't some random MDF hit."

Your stomach drops. Because shit—that... That changes everything.

MDF might be brutal, but they're not stupid.

Kidnapping someone connected to Kkangpae? That's not just an attack—it's a message.

A very personal message.

You watch the Council's faces, trying to read between the lines.

If MDF knows enough to target someone specific, how much else do they know? How deep have they dug into everyone's past?

The thought makes your skin crawl.

"Now we know this is personal." Chaewon's voice is ice-cold, all business. "The question is, how do we respond?"

"We hit back." Jessi's voice cracks like a whip, raw and broken. "Show those fuckers what happens when you mess with Kkangpae."

J-Hope reaches for her shoulder, ever the voice of reason. "I know you want blood, Jessi. But an all-out war will only get innocent people killed."

Jessi jerks away from his touch, but you see how her hands shake.

"I should've been there," she whispers, more to herself than anyone else. "I should never have left them alone."

The pain in her voice makes your chest tight; you've never seen Jessi like this—like she's barely holding herself together.

"Why don't we just storm their headquarters and slaughter them all?" V (who's been conspicuously quiet until now) raises his voice.

The guy is just leaning back against a tree, playing with a butterfly knife like he thinks he's the Joker or something.

"Picture it." His smile grows wider, more unhinged. "Their precious hideout painted red, bodies everywhere. We could string up their leaders—or what's left of them—as a warning."

JM gives him one look—one that somehow manages to pierce through V's psychotic haze. Like he's the only person besides RM who can actually rein him in when he gets like this.

V slumps back with an exaggerated pout, thorny aura receding slightly. The switch from bloodthirsty to playful is so fast it gives you whiplash.

"As entertaining as that sounds," JM's voice is steady, like a calm lake washing away V's chaos, "we need precision here. Not a bloodbath."

"You never let me have fun." V whines like a kid denied candy instead of mass murder. "But fine, we'll be civilized."

JM turns back to the Council. "Please continue. V's just... working through some things. He understands the need for balance."

Jeon's face gives nothing away, but you notice how his jaw tightens. Having to share space with V is bad enough—having to listen to his murder fantasies is clearly testing what little patience he has left.

"As I was saying..." Jeon continues.

JM gives V another one of those looks and V slumps against the tree.

The thorny scent of roses fades to something more bearable, though you can tell he's just waiting for another chance to suggest mass murder.

"I might have a better idea." AD clears his throat. "A bloodbath would be satisfying, sure, but we need intel first. Something clean and quiet that gives us some advantage."

You watch him run a hand through his messy blonde hair, thinking three steps ahead while looking like he just rolled out of bed.

"We know where their hideout is. Send in a small team, two people max. Get their data, their plans, their weak spots." He pauses, letting that sink in. "Information is better than bullets right now."

The Council members exchange looks. Even V stops fidgeting with his knife. You catch Jeon's shoulders relaxing slightly—he knows a good plan when he hears one.

"Stealth does play to our strengths," Jeon admits, and his eyes flick to you for a split second. "Who did you have in mind?"

AD jerks his chin toward you.

"She's perfect for this. Hanjun's well acquainted with Flower now, but Y/N? She was only there for the takedown. He never had time to report back about her or the other girls. But between all of them," he adds, "she's the only one who got to see all the girls."

Suddenly you've got nine of Seoul's most dangerous criminals staring at you. But you meet Jeon's gaze head-on, refusing to flinch.

Finally—a chance to prove yourself.

And maybe get some answers about what's really going on with MDF.

"She's just an ensign." JM mumbles. "She's gonna need backup."

The Chiefs exchange looks, probably running through a mental list of who they could trust not to fuck this up. Your heart's still pounding from being called in, from learning about this mission that could change everything.

"Jeon will lead this operation." RM's voice leaves no room for argument. Like he's announcing the weather, except the weather is your hookup being assigned as your partner.

Amazing, really love that for you.

"You're picking him for stealth?" V's voice goes high with indignation, like someone just insulted his knife collection. "I'm literally the Chief of Stealth Assassinations. What the actual fuck?"

Thorns prickle the air, sharp with offense. You definitely catch Jeon's tiny smirk—he's enjoying V's tantrum way too much.

"Jeon has the discipline this requires." RM's tone could freeze hell itself. "We can't afford your... creative interpretations of orders right now."

V opens his mouth—probably to suggest murdering everyone involved, knowing him—but JM slaps a hand over it. The look V gives him could kill a lesser man, but JM just raises an eyebrow.

"This mission's success is crucial." RM continues like V isn't plotting JM's death with his eyes. "We need strategy, not chaos."

You watch Jeon's face carefully. His expression gives nothing away, but you just know he's thinking the same thing you are:

How the fuck are you two supposed to focus on a stealth mission when you can barely keep your hands off each other?

"Come on," V's voice drags after getting rid of JM's hand, "we all remember how well these two work together. Like gasoline and a lit match. Either they'll kill each other or fuck like rabbits. Not ideal for a stealth op, eh?"

JM smacks his shoulder, but V just grins wider. Your face burns as Jeon goes rigid beside you, like a gathering strength.

If looks could kill, V would be six feet under from the glare Jeon's sending him.

You stare very intently at a patch of grass, fighting the urge to squirm, because V has no idea how close to home that "fucking like rabbits" comment hits.

Or maybe he does—you can never tell what that psycho actually knows.

"Enough." JM sighs. "RM's guidance is sound. Jeon, you're our best strategic mind. Tactical is probably our best approach right now."

Jeon's jaw works for a moment before he gives a sharp nod. "Understood. I'll lead the operation."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

Stuck on a stealth mission with the guy you've secretly hooked up with, while his psychotic sworn enemy watches and makes sex jokes.

Just another day in Kkangpae.

"For now," RM's redirects the conversation swiftly, "let's focus on the task at hand. This camping trip was meant to build unity and trust. We can't lose sight of that."

Unity and trust.

Right.

Because nothing says team bonding like sending you and the guy you're dying to have sex with to infiltrate enemy territory while pretending you've never seen each other naked.

"There will be time later to prepare for the mission." He adds. "But while we're here, I expect everyone's full commitment to this team-building exercise."

Jeon surprises you by actually looking... chastened? as he gives RM a short nod. "You're right. My priorities were misplaced. I apologize for the disruption."

And that's... New. You've never heard Jeon apologize for anything.

But then again, RM's probably the only person in Seoul who could make him bow down. The amount of respect Jeon has for him is almost an entity of its own.

"No need to apologize." RM's stern expression softens slightly. "Let's refocus together on strengthening our bonds as a crew."

More team bonding. Because that's exactly what you need right now... bonding,̶ ̶o̶r̶ b̶o̶n̶i̶n̶g̶?̶

You give Jeon one last look before V's voice cuts through, all manic energy as usual.

"Last one back has to clean everyone's dishes!"

And then he just... takes off running like the psychopath he is, thorns receding with him. Because of course he'd turn this into a competition.

"Oh, fuck no!" Jessi kicks off her heels, already sprinting after him in bare feet. "I am not cleaning after his ass."

Chaewon and JM share this look—probably something like 'we're both too dignified for this shit' passing between them before they're running too, probably realizing nobody wants to risk V winning anything.

"How childish." J-Hope rolls his eyes, but AD's already got that gleam he gets when someone issues a challenge.

"Childish?" AD's grin is pure evil. "I bet I could eat enough for ten people. Give you something real nice to clean."

"You little shit—" J-Hope takes off after him. "Get back here!"

You glance back at Jeon and RM, both still walking like they're above such peasant activities.

But fuck it—you're already sweaty from dodgeball, might as well commit to the chaos.

"Think I'll take AD's strategy." You flash Jeon your sweetest smile. "Eat everything in sight, let someone else deal with cleanup."

You're running before he can reply, laughter bubbling up.

And then, merely a few second later, you hear his steady footsteps turn into something faster.

Looks like even the mighty Chief can't resist a challenge.

The campsite comes into view through the trees, and you pick up your pace.

You jog into the clearing, lungs burning, only to find V and RM already there.

What the actualfuck?

"How did RM beat us?" The words come out between gasps.

The man runs a criminal empire in designer suits, for fuck's sake. He shouldn't be able to outrun anyone.

V just grins that Cheshire cat smile of his and then, Jessi, Chaewon and JM stumble in next, all tangled together and cackling like teenagers.

"JM's face when I almost tripped him—" Jessi wheezes, red hair wild from running.

Everyone else filters in gradually, catching their breath and comparing notes on who cheated (definitely V).

But oddly enough, there's no sign (or sound) of J-Hope or AD.

Then—

"You absolute fucking cockwomble, let go before I rearrange your face!"

"Not happening, you lil' bitch. I'm not cleaning your blood off the floor again!"

You turn to find J-Hope and AD crashing through the underbrush like drunk bears, locked in what has to be the world's most undignified wrestling match. AD's blonde hair is full of leaves, and J-Hope's pristine turtleneck is covered in dirt.

Seoul's most dangerous gang, ladies and gentlemen.

Truly terrifying.

"You wanna fucking go, asshole?" AD thrashes like a feral cat, trying to land a hit on J-Hope. "I'll rip out your spine and use it as a fucking ethernet cable!"

But J-Hope's got him locked down, using his height advantage like the bastard he is. AD might be scrappy, but the doctor's got experience wrestling patients into submission.

"You need to get out of this unscathed first, you dumbass—"

"Then I'll download your consciousness into a punching bag," AD snarls, still fighting. "Have you getting hit for eternity, you piece of shit!"

Their little death match stumbles closer to camp. J-Hope's got AD in a headlock now, ignoring the increasingly creative threats being spewed at his face.

"I'll be patching you up after this, you psychotic gremlin." J-Hope finally slams AD into the dirt, probably enjoying this way too much. "Maybe I'll sew a live rat in your stomach. Let it chew its way out through your organs."

They keep wrestling, but it's getting pathetic—like watching two drunk uncles fight at a family barbecue. Both of them are red-faced and panting, shirts half-ripped from trying to hold each other back.

You can't help noticing they look wrecked—covered in sweat and leaves.

Actually...

"They must've been holding each other back the whole way here." You snort.

No wonder they're last. These idiots literally spent the entire race trying to murder each other.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" V's voice rings out like a demented game show host. "Our esteemed winners, graceful as ever!"

J-Hope and AD freeze mid-choke hold, finally noticing their audience.

The look of pure horror on their faces is priceless.

"Dish duty it is, boys!" Jessi's grin is absolutely feral.

AD shoves J-Hope off like an angry cat, but they're both too winded from their pathetic wrestling match to do more than hurl insults at each other.

"This is all your fucking fault!" AD jabs a finger at J-Hope's chest, looking about as threatening as a wet Pomeranian. "If you hadn't grabbed me—"

"My fault?" J-Hope's voice gets higher. "Big words from someone shaped like a fun-sized candy bar!"

"Say that again, you overgrown fucking giraffe!" AD tries to lunge but stumbles, still panting. "I fucking dare you!"

RM steps in before they can start round two of the world's most embarrassing fight.

"That's enough, you two. We all enjoyed the show, but it's time to work."

They both shut up immediately—even AD knows better than to test RM's patience. But the glares they shoot each other could probably melt steel.

"Can't believe I'm stuck with your ass for cleanup duty," AD grumbles, brushing leaves out of his blonde hair.

"Trust me, I'd rather perform surgery blindfolded. But maybe next time you'll think twice before dragging me down with you."

"As if I need help being slow from someone who runs like a drunk giraffe."

Their bickering fades as they head back to camp, still shoving each other like kindergarteners fighting over the last juice box.

Well. At least you'll enjoy a show during dinner time tonight.

One would think dinner time would be dulled down now, after the Council meeting earlier.

But nope—gang members are scattered around the fires like this is some post apocalypse scavenging situation.

You can't help watching V with Yunjin. He's leaning in close and probably whispering some bullshit about knives being romantic or whatever gets him going.

And Yunjin—sweet, perceptive Yunjin who usually sees right through everyone's bullshit—is eating it up. She's doing that thing where she plays with her hair, pink strands twisting around her finger while she giggles at whatever murder joke V's telling.

You snort into your food, because you just don't get what's it with these two.

The weirdest part? Even knowing what V's capable of (the rumors about his "artistic approach" to killing make your skin crawl), you kind of get why people fall for his act.

He's got that whole dangerous charm thing down to an art.

"Hey stranger!" Eunchae drops onto the bench beside you, nearly knocking over your drink. Sakura slides in more gracefully across from you, because someone in your division has to have coordination.

"What was the super secret meeting about? You went in looking normal and came out all..." Eunchae waves her chopsticks vaguely. "You know. Intense."

"Classified." You shrug, trying not to think about what that meeting means for you and a certain hurricane-aura'd Chief. "Above your pay grade."

"Ugh, you're no fun." She slumps dramatically against your shoulder. "I wish I could join the Council just to know all the juicy stuff."

"We're here if you need to talk," Sakura adds quietly, and fuck—sometimes you forget how perceptive your division can be.

"Thanks." You bump Eunchae's shoulder, warmth blooming in your chest. These idiots might be professional honey traps, but they're your idiots. "I mean it."

You go back to your food, half-listening to Eunchae's story about some mark who thought cryptocurrency was foreplay. But your eyes keep drifting to V and Yunjin.

What's your friendly neighborhood psychopath plotting this time?

However, the first drops of rain quickly hit your food like tiny bullets. Within seconds, the drizzle turns into a full-blown downpour because of courseit does.

Nothing like a surprise shower to end your deeply suspicious dinner observations.

"Oh, come on." Eunchae snatches up her plate, already running for cover, chestnut hair plastered to her face by the time she makes it three steps.

Your eyes snap to where V still has Yunjin trapped in conversation. They're both getting soaked but Yunjin's still hanging on his every word, pink hair turning darker in the rain.

"Yunjin!" You pitch your voice to carry over the rain. "Unless you want to catch pneumonia, might want to wrap it up!"

She blinks like she's coming out of a trance, finally noticing she's halfway to drowned. The spell breaks—thank fuck—and she hurries over to you, gathering her stuff with slightly shaky hands.

"Thanks for the save." Her voice is quiet, almost sheepish. "Got a bit... distracted."

"Yeah, no shit." You grab her arm, steering her toward your tent. "Let's get inside before we both melt."

You dodge through the chaos of gang members running for shelter, curses mixing with laughter. Someone—probably AD—slips in a mud puddle and lets out a string of creative profanity that would make a sailor blush.

The relative safety of your tent feels like crossing a finish line. The rain hammers against the canvas, but at least you're dry.

Well. Drier.

The rain doesn't let up for hours, turning the campsite into something out of a moody indie film. But inside your tent? It's like a sleepover bubble—wrapped up in cozy blankets and the glow from Yunjin's phone where some poor actor is having his third dramatic breakdown of the episode.

Yunjin's using your stomach as a pillow, pink hair splayed across your hoodie while she decimates the bag of chips between you. Every few minutes her hand dives in without looking, too focused on whatever absurd plot twist is happening now.

"This one's actually decent," she murmurs, smiling at the screen where someone's probably discovering their evil twin or something.

"If you say so." You can't help grinning as the male lead clutches his chest like he's having a heart attack over a text message. "These writers must be on something wild. Like, who comes up with this shit?"

Her giggle vibrates against your stomach.

"That's why they're fun! You never know what's coming next." She tilts her head back to look at you. "Kind of like living here, right? Never a dull moment in Kkangpae."

"God, don't jinx it." But you're laughing too because she's not wrong. Your life has definitely taken some drama-worthy turns lately. "Though I hope we're at least more realistic than that."

You both fall into easy conversation, trading comments about the show and today's chaos. When the male lead starts laying it on thick with the female lead, you see your chance. Time to figure out what the hell V was playing at earlier with all that knife teaching.

"So." You poke Yunjin's side with your toe, aiming for casual. "What's with you and V today? The whole knife lesson thing seemed... weird."

Yunjin doesn't look away from her drama. Of course she doesn't.

"I mean, have you seen him?" She sighs dreamily. "He's like a walking thirst trap. Those hands..."

"Oh my god." You stare down at her pink head in disbelief. "You'd actually fuck him? Like, actually actually?"

She finally tears her eyes from the screen, twisting to grin up at you with zero shame. "Why not? Life's too short not to ride at least one psychopath, right?"

The silence stretches.

"What?" She raises an eyebrow at your horror. "You wouldn't?"

"Jesus fuck no." You mime gagging. "You know he probably has some weird murder kink. Like, he'd probably want to chase you through a haunted house with a knife while dramatic music plays."

"Haunt play?" Her eyes go wide before she breaks into giggles. "That's... weirdly specific. But don't knock it till you try it, right?"

"Yun." You roll your eyes so hard they might get stuck. "He'd probably set up a whole haunted house just to get his rocks off."

"Okay but..." Yunjin props herself up on her elbows. "Haunted house but make it sexy? That's kind of genius."

"You're actually insane." You shove her shoulder, both of you dissolving into laughter. "I swear to god, if I ever hear spooky music from his tent—"

"You'll what, call the ghost police?"

Her laughter shakes your whole body, bright and infectious, and the small space of the tent makes this ridiculous conversation feel somehow safer, more intimate.

Just two girls discussing their terrible taste in men while hiding from a storm.

Even if one of those men happens to be Seoul's most notorious psychopath.

Yunjin flops back down, using your stomach as a pillow again. The drama's still playing on her phone, but you're too busy thinking about V's games to focus on whatever chaebol drama is unfolding now.

"For now," she sighs dreamily, "I'll stick to living through these ridiculous romances. Much safer than the real thing, right?"

You hum in agreement, watching raindrops race down the tent's surface.

"Sounds smart. But if you do decide to test out V's haunted house kink..." You poke her side. "I want every single detail. For science."

"Deal." Her giggle vibrates against your stomach. "But only if you keep saving me from his 'passionate teaching moments'. My knife skills are fine, thanks."

"Always."

The word comes out softer than intended, but you mean it. In Kkangpae, real friendship is rare as fuck. People either want to kill you, fuck you, or use you—sometimes all three.

But Yunjin? She's different.

And all the while; the rain keeps drumming steadily against the canvas, turning the world outside into a blur of gray and green.

In here, none of that exists.

Not V's thorny games, not Jeon's hurricane, not the Council's secret meetings.

Just you and your best friend, safe and warm while the storm rages on.

For now, anyway. Tomorrow's another story.

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lilpomelito · 2 years ago

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vaguely inspired by a fic I read like a month ago but nepo baby Steve who starts as a young model slowly transitioning into acting. self-made rockstar Eddie who by some miracle made it mainstream and is now the biggest artist of the year. Steve starring in a film by indie darling director Robin, she already has an Oscar nom under her belt, the there's tons of buzz around the production of the film because it's a queer drama. cue Eddie who has zero media training randomly trashing Steve on twitter like "these nepo babies who get roles because mommy is the producer and not because of their talent, i hate straight people." his stans start harassing and stalking Steve, creating that "only gay people should play gay roles" discourse to the point where he gets outed. steve getting so fed up he just quote-tweets eddie with "shut up or i'll release our sex tape <3". he's kidding of course, but the fans don't know that. what comes next is months of relentless fans shipping them together and eddie is absolutely HATING it, the last thing he wanted was to be famous for a controversy and not his own talent, but he can't really deny anything without facing backlash and also he started it and he kinda respects steve's witty response. steve subtly playing it up by liking eddie's posts on instagram and vague-posting with lyrics from his songs. the internet is convinced they're in a months-long relationship and they haven't even met in person.

#some steddie thoughts #i love making steve the little bitch he actually is #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie famous au #mine

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nashusglasses · 1 month ago

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re: my Twitter thread on mechanic!sylus AU and mc who doesn’t give a fuck about their ugly beater car. happy main story day @ sylus mains!!!!! warning: lots of car lingo, too much flirting, sylus loving hot and nonchalant mc. 1.7k wc

divider by thecutestgrotto

You pull up to the open garage door, roll down the front passenger window to yell out, "Am I good to come in?" He's stunlocked into nodding assent. This is the ugliest fucking car he's ever seen.

Old Man Abernathy comes to Sylus' garage every five thousand kilometres driven on his Surveyor. It's still a tank at almost 18-years-old, no visible tarnish on the baby blue paint. The only pressing issue Sylus has only ever seen him come in for was a transmission failure two years ago. Abernathy is, by default, Sylus' favourite customer. A car taken care of will take care of you.

Today is a simple oil change. They talk about gas prices, the newest crossover SUV that Byora is releasing next year (they both agree the engine is way too overkill for a such a practically-built car). When Abernathy slaps Sylus's hand with four $20 bills, he asks: "Do you have availability later today?"

Sylus takes the money, wipes his dirty hands with an already-stained rag. "I have a break between 3 to 5."

"I have a niece," Abernathy starts. He slips his fraying wallet into his back pocket, rounding the front of his car to the driver's door. "I've been pestering her to get her oil changed too but she's too busy with work. Today's her day off."

"Tell her she can stop by, then." Then he takes one of the bills Abernathy gave him, pinched between two fingers for easy taking, reaching over the hood of the car. "Here. Referral bonus."

Abernathy just shakes his head, then tells him his niece's name. "I'll call her to come over at 3:30, then." He looks down at the bill Sylus still keeps outstretched toward him, face wrinkled in what Sylus can only assume is an expression of sympathy. "Trust me. You should keep it."

Sylus doesn't understand his parting words until you show up two hours later.

The first thing he notices isn't even your car, it's the sound of it. He's convinced for one millisecond that it's a straight piped Civic. Tuned for maximized volume, zero efficiency, just the loud, droning rumble that disturbs everything and everyone around you for the sake of insane street cred.

You pull up to the open garage door, roll down the front passenger window to yell out, "Am I good to come in?"

He's stunlocked into nodding assent. This is the ugliest fucking car he's ever seen.

It's a super compact two-seater Scorpio, and from the look of the headlights he guesses it's the 2032 model, red all over with orange trims. Your bumper is ziptied to the front end, and when you pull in even further all his guesses of a straight pipe turn into dust when he sees your muffler is literally just… gone. There's a sticker above the car logo that says if you come any closer I'll fart on you. The paint on your fender is bruised off with a tacky duct tape job.

Well. At the very least you have a tank of a car, too. Even if the outside looks like it's in active decay, old Scorpios like yours hold well enough into 300k mileage.

The only good thing he can glean from your presence as you come out of the car is your inherited timeliness from your uncle. That, and the fact that you are not at all what he'd imagined you'd look like. Old Man Abernathy is wan, lungs shot to hell with tar from excess smoke, sporting the pot belly of pot bellies. You're bouncing with life, your pretty smile dimming only because you notice he's just ogling at your car. Sylus is trying to come up with a greeting. He really is.

He's just—he's just never seen such an ugly fucking car.

"I take it Uncle told you Ladybug only needed an oil change." Sylus doesn't miss how you say only. Like you knew your shit-for-nothing car definitely need more than just an oil change, but you either 1) don't have the cash for it, or 2) don't really care for it.

Sylus finally stops staring at your bumper, gearing straight into work mode. "Ladybug," he repeats.

You nod. "My car."

Right. Red and round and seasoned. "Make yourself comfortable there," he says, gesturing to a worn faux-leather seat right next to his toolkit. He makes his way to the driver's door, opens it with way too much force, and cringes at the awful creaking sound it makes. "I would offer the pretty lady coffee, but I'm out of coffee beans."

You raise an eyebrow at his very obvious attempt of flirting—you might have a terrible sense for car maintenance, but you are, admittedly, very cute, and he's never been one to lessen sweet talk even if the present circumstances suggested otherwise—and take a seat. "That's too bad. I was hoping the handsome mechanic would offer me something to pass the time."

Sylus is glad you didn't take his goggling to heart, but he also didn't think you'd go toe for toe so quickly. He hides his smile behind the wheel as he bends over to pull at the hood release lever inside.

The hood pops. It sounds like a tiny explosion.

"You buy this secondhand?" He goes to wrench the hood up. It's a typical sight: dried leaves wedged randomly into metal, too much dust, some rusting on the screws. The terminals on your battery are green with corrosion. And of course, there's no built-in prop. Sylus has to walk past you to get his own. You smell like laundry, minty gum, a welcome freshness in the stale grey of his garage.

"Yeah. Bought it from my sister-in-law when she started her family." He feels your eyes on him when he comes back to prop the hood up. He flexes unconsciously, suddenly very thankful he's wearing a clean tank top. Probably sweatstained but he hopes it adds to the allure. "Why? Is it that obvious?"

Sylus pulls at the oil dipstick (which, thankfully, you still have, and he would have been deeply concerned if you'd somehow lost it, which he thinks, a little meanly, that it is well within your range to do something like that). The oil's a little past the low marker, and the colour suggests some coolant leakage. He's secretly relieved. He's most definitely seen worse.

"I don't usually see bumpers held by zipties on cars people bought from the dealership." In other words, it's perfectly normal to see someone with a beater car be a little more careless with it. A curved license plate from hitting a pole, scratches near the rear lights from a near-miss with a truck.

"I guess," you sigh. "I just—I'm always so busy with work. I needed a car that'd get me from point A to point B."

Sylus hums. Next: fixing your car to the lift after putting the dipstick back and closing the hood. Ladybug ascends (flies?) with a press of a button, suspended in the air by large metal arms for Sylus to inspect the bottom. "And would I be correct to assume Ladybug does the job perfectly for you?"

You nod. "She hasn't failed me yet."

"Keyword being yet," he teases. "Are you sure you're only here for an oil change?"

Suddenly you're very interested in his rack of tools on the wall. A subtle refusal to match the gaze he levels you with, and he can't tell if it's an act of shyness or denial. "You're just good at selling your service."

Sylus slides his oil reservoir under the drain plug, unscrews it with a wrench. He watches the oil drip heavy. Sylus wants to say, I don't want to be held liable for letting you leave my garage in a death machine, but very cordially responds with, "What if I just want you to stay a little longer?"

"Then you're good at selling your service and being a flirt," you answer. Then you laugh, and Sylus thinks he wants to hear that sound forever. "I know Ladybug is… worn-out."

"That is an understatement."

"But as long as I'm keeping up with regular maintenance, then what's the point of shelling out money on things that don't really matter?"

Now it's his turn to raise an eyebrow. "Your uncle had to convince you to come see me."

"And I listened. Thank you for taking me in, by the way."

"You're welcome." His hands are automatic, a handbook for knuckles. Filter replaced, sealed, wiped down with his rag, oil drum pushed out of the way. "How long is your typical braking distance?"

You take a beat. You watch as Ladybug comes down the lift, now. "Long enough," you murmur.

Sylus is about to rub a tired hand down his face, then remembers there's sticky oil on it. "So a brake pad check next."

"She's fine," you insist, and Sylus really can't help the incredulous look he gives you. You give in to the concern, and add: "Really. Thank you though."

He's the last person to argue with a client about what they're paying for, but he has this weirdly extreme urge to keep you here. Your casual indifference to the terrible state of your car is hilarious at best, concerning at worst. What kind of person would he be if his favourite customer's referral was left feeling unsatisfied? His business acumen would fly out the window. Ran over to filth on the concrete by a little ugly tank named Ladybug.

"Tell you what," Sylus says as he pops the hood again, gets the oil jug ready to pour. "Come back and I'll change your brake pads for free."

"That's not—"

"And I won't charge you for today, either."

You shut up. You don't say anything until Sylus has finished closing the oil cap, set all his tools aside. When he turns back around, you're looking at him like he's hung all the stars in the sky, and he has the scary feeling that he'd do it all for you in a heartbeat.

"Good to go," he says, and like he feared, you start rifling through your wallet to pay him. "I already told you—"

You shake your head fast in disbelief, exactly the same way your uncle did. "That's asking too much of you."

"Nonsense. I've already offered you an alternative way of paying. And…" He crosses his arms. Makes special note of the way you immediately notice the hardness of muscle. "I still owe you that cup of coffee."

There it is. Easy bait. You squint your eyes at the challenge, let his proposition marinate in dead silence.

Then you stick your hand out and finally say, "Deal," and Sylus's lungs expand in… relief? Excitement? You look gorgeous when you're satisfied. Your hand, soft in his callous. "I'll text you."

He doesn't dare wipe the feeling of you away until you and Ladybug rev off into the evening.

#sylus x reader #sylus x mc #lnds sylus #lads sylus #lads x reader #lads x you #lads x y/n #nashusglasses fic #love and deepspace #love and deepspace sylus

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two-white-butterflies · 2 years ago

Text

archer | c16

Description: "All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold unto you." After a series of instagram posts - your ex-friend fabricates screenshots that almost end your career.

Author's Note: Inspired after listening to reputation.

natacha_ziguerra added to their story!

caption: y/n nation, this yo girl?

replies

ultraviolencekanada: CHAT, IS THIS REAL?

DARKLINGHOMIE23: She is messy

yourusername16: i never typed this thing before, tacha wtf ⁉️

yourusername16: ur broke ass got nothing to eat anymore? 💀

natacha_ziguerra: Ya'll may have seen my story and I just wanna let ya'll know that this girl has done so much worse... all the deets are in my patreon ... ya'll help a girl out. (Prices start at $5 Dollars.)

liked by 324,239 others

comments

yourusername16: what is this broke-ass behavior? boo i can pay for you and ur patreon, this isn't sum wattpad social media au bs.

yourusername16: trust, i will be in contact with my lawyers. - natacha_ziguerra: BABE you've been talking shit about so MANY popstars, Ari, Sza, Lehlani, Lana... you can call your lawyers but this aint slander because I'm telling the truth. ❤️ - yourusername16: @natacha_ziguerra 💀

yourusername16: your nemesis will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing. now he's passing by, rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky. camera credits to my baby: @Charles_Leclerc16

liked by danielricciardo and 1,293,012 others

comments

ohnoloveme3: YN IS OVER PARTY

righthere99: YN IS OVER 🐍

Charles_Leclerc16: I'm proud of you for being strong ❤️

danielricciardo: You are one of the strongest women that I know. - heidiberger: 💗 stay strong yn!

kellypiquet: True power comes from the truth. You can do this! ✨

Charles_Leclerc16: I will always support, love and respect you. ✨

liked by kellypiquet and 1,394,192 others

comments

maxverstappen1: ❤️

charlottehope8: Never believe posts that are evidently edited. Some people will use you for clout 💯

pierreGASLY: 💪🏽💗

yourusername16: Likewise, Mr. Leclerc

comments have been restricted.

TRENDING TOPICS ON TWITTER.

Y/N and Lana

Queen of Disaster

Reputation

Natacha Ziguerra Patreon

Y/N LECLERC

Y/N L/N TALKS ABOUT CANCEL CULTURE AND CYBERBULLYING.

Y/N L/N: I remember waking up - completely clueless as to why my phone was blowing up and apparently an ex-friend of mine decided to forge screenshots of me saying nasty things. And that opened up a realm of so much bullying.

Y/N L/N: I didn't love myself, I had a pretty low self esteem. While, the things that she shared weren't true - I thought that the critiques about my looks, my personality and my voice had some truth. When you don't love yourself, it's pretty easy to see your flaws.

Y/N L/N: My boyfriend, actually recommended that I take a social media break just to tune everything out. And that proved to be successful. I left the public eye for a year. I wasn't physically seen for more than a year and i't's been a wonderful journey of healing.

yourusername16: maybe reputation was the friends we made along the way...?

liked by charlottehope8 and 5,182,192 others

comments

Charles_Leclerc16: The Power of Friendship 👊🏼

charlottehope8: I love this picture

kellypiquet: We should be on the album cover. @maxverstappen1 @charlottehope8 - charlottehope8: Ditto 🤣

Charles_Leclerc16: My baby's fit like a daydream ☀️

liked by danielricciardo and 1,282,192 others

comments

yourusername16: Walking with his head down, I'm the one he's walking tooo....

comments have been restricted.

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owlobservation · 9 months ago

Text

Itoshi Sae Egoist Bible Profile (2022)

"I'll see for myself... what kind of forward this country can produce."

Itoshi Rin's older brother. He's selected as one of the New Generation World 11. The Genius Midfielder!

-Profile Data-

Birthdate: October, 10th.

Age: 18 (Third year high school)

Zodiac sign: Libra.

Birthplace: Kanagawa Prefecture (Kamakura City)

Family structure: Father, mother, himself, younger brother.

Height: 180 cm.

Foot size: 26.5 cm.

Blood type: A.

Previous team before he returned to Japan: Re Ale Youth FC.

Dominant foot: Left.

Favorite Soccer Player: Álvaro Recoba. "The left-footed player who creates rainbow on the pitch."*

Age started playing soccer: 1 year old. "Before I knew it, I was already playing soccer."

Nickname: Treasure of Japan.

Strengths: Being able to see things objectively. "I'm often told that I'm a dry person but who cares."

Weaknesses: I don't know anything except about soccer. "Don't live like this, you guys."

Favorite food: Salted kombucha. "Because I can return back to zero."**

Disliked food: French fries. "It's so delicious that I could die, but it's also so unhealthy that I could die."

Best rice accompaniment: Salted kelp. "They don't have it in Spain so I got it sent from my parents' home."

Hobby: Analyzing data of soccer players and teams. "It's nice to see things visualized as numbers."

Favorite season: The end of summer. "I feel like the whole world has become lonely."

Favorite show: Chibi Maruko-chan. "It reminds me of my parents' home."

Favorite music: Suisei by Tofubeats feat. Seira Kariya. "I listen it to cool down."

Favorite movie: Taxi Driver. "This De Niro guy is the coolest."

Favorite manga: Gegege no Kitaro

Character color: Azuki Red.

Favorite animal: Seagull. "I like migratory birds that don't stay in one place."

Favorite brands: All the brands that sponsor me. "They have good eyes for betting on me."

Best subjects: No idea because I didn't really pay attention in class and only focused on soccer. "I've never seen my report card."

Fetish: Butt. "You can tell an athlete's ability by the shape of their butt."

What makes you happy: A play beyond my imagination.

What makes you sad: Being forced to carry the weight of Japanese soccer on my shoulders. "Yes, I'm talking about you guys."

The first time someone confessed to you: I don't even remember which one was the first time, dumbass.

Last year's valentine day chocolates: Around 2.000. "My manager told me."

Sleep time: 8 hours. (7 hours+1 hour nap)

Where do you wash first in the bath?: Bangs' hairline.

Mushroom or Bamboo shoots?: Depending on the mood.

What made you cry recently?: Why would I tell you, idiot.

At what age did you stop receiving presents from Santa?: 10 years old.***

What did you ask for a Christmas present from Santa?: My undiscovered talent.

What would you do on your last day on earth?: Give the world's best striker the world's best pass.

What would you do if you receive 100 million yen?: I'm not interested. It's just a small change.

What do you do on your days off?: Gazing at the sea.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daily life at Blue Lock

"I haven't been there yet."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sae's Ranking

1. Ranked #3 The Best at Study****

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Initial Character Sketch by Kaneshiro

Genius Midfielder. Very Sadist (Do-S)

I can't read the rest of the notes... sorry....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

*Álvaro Recoba (El Chino) is a midfielder from Uruguay known for his "rainbow-like" curved kicks.

**Return back to zero=being refreshed.

***In early 2021 twitter Q&A, he said he stopped getting Christmas presents when Rin stopped believing in Santa. His answer is revised in Egoist Bible to just "10 years old."

****The title/ranking is "Who Can Study Well". Sae is the #3 person who is very good at studying (benkyou 勉強).

Check Sae's updated profile from the second volume of Egoist Bible for more!

#itoshi sae #translation #egoist bible

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miss-musings · 1 year ago

Text

"Omega Needs You Both": A Deeper Look at Crosshair's Plan 99 Monologue

So, I had an interesting exchange with someone on Twitter about the 3.15 "change of plans" scene and what exactly Crosshair meant -- specifically by the line "Omega needs you both."

I figured I'd share my thoughts here, and do a breakdown of the dialogue in this scene.

We start with Crosshair seeing Tantiss' defenses and his hand starts shaking uncontrollably. But, he clenches his fist and gives his brothers an update:

Crosshair: They've got heavy patrols guarding the perimeter, with lurca hounds. Wrecker: Told you we should've brought Batcher.

Wrecker, who was mauled by a jungle creature in the previous episode, has basically been running on a combination of adrenaline, determination and med patches for at least an hour. As Wrecker says this line, he chuckles and then groans with pain from his wounds.

Crosshair notices and gives him a look that Wrecker can intuit even under his helmet.

Wrecker: Stop looking at me like that. I'm fine. Crosshair: No, you're not.

Crosshair sees the situation they're in: Their five-man squad is down two people already.

Tech is dead. (RIP, bestest boy! 😭)

Echo is inside the base, but they can't coordinate with him. For all they know, he might've been captured or killed after deactivating the science vessel's sensors at the end of 3.13.

And now, on top of Crosshair's own hand tremors, Wrecker is severely injured.

Clone Force 99 is down two people already, two of the remaining three aren't at full strength, AND they’re going into Tantiss without any (known) back-up. 😬

Even if they manage to get past the patrolling stormtroopers and lurca hounds, they still don't have an easy way in. (Of course, the Zillo beast solves both of these problems about two minutes later.)

So, knowing full well what they're going up against and seeing the bad shape his squad is in, Crosshair offers a solution:

Crosshair: Change of plans. You two head to the communications array and try to contact Rex. I'll infiltrate the base myself. Hunter: Not happening. Wrecker: Yeah, we've handled worse situations than this countless--

Wrecker of all people knows that their squad isn't invincible. But, I think he's trying to infuse some optimism into the conversation and convince Crosshair not to do something rash.

Meanwhile, Crosshair basically tries to do the exact same thing to Wrecker, but in a much harsher way:

Crosshair: Wake up, Wrecker! Clone Force 99 died with Tech. We're not that squad anymore.

Crosshair says what they're all probably thinking:

Clone Force 99 charged into every battle in the Clone Wars with full confidence and zero hesitation. Maybe they weren't exactly stupid about it, but they were definitely reckless.

Crosshair is trying to tell Wrecker that they're not that invincible squad anymore. They lost their MVP in Tech. They cannot afford to go recklessly charging into battle like they used to, which he believes Wrecker is suggesting.

Crosshair: I've been inside that mountain. I know what we're up against. If we all go in, we're not all making it out.

Again, even if they manage to get inside, Crosshair knows exactly how well-defended Tantiss is. He's trying to convince his brothers to get to safety, because he knows the odds are stacked against them and he doesn't want to lose them.

He wants to keep them safe. He wants to protect them. So, he uses the best logic he has to try to convince them: 🥺

Crosshair: Omega needs you both.

I know a lot of people look at this line and interpret it as: "Crosshair thinks Omega doesn't need him (like she needs Hunter and Wrecker)."

There's definitely an argument to be made for that.

Crosshair has major self-esteem issues throughout Season 3, and he definitely feels like he failed Omega after missing the shot to track her ship in 3.11.

I do think he believes that Hunter and Wrecker matter to her more.

I also think he doesn't know or fully accept exactly how much he means to her.

But, he must have some sense that his well-being is important to her — that she cares about him.

She refused point-blank to leave Tantiss without him. She spent five months telling him, convincing him, that they were going to escape together. For all his efforts to push her away, she never gave up on him. And when the opportunity finally came, she kept her word and freed him.

Between 3.05-3.11, Omega spends a lot of time with Crosshair.

She helps him reintegrate back into their family and reconcile with Hunter. She doesn't like when he suggests taking on CX-2 by himself. She tries to help him heal his hand and his mind. When she tries to convince them people can change, she reminds Crosshair that she never gave up on him.

She also told him multiple times in Seasons 1 and 3 that he was her brother. Omega always saw him as part of her family, and she wanted him in her life.

(EDIT: It’s also totally possible that Crosshair realizes Omega cares about him while ALSO believing she doesn’t need him. “She cares about me” =\= “she needs me,” especially compared to how much she needs Hunter and Wrecker. He is still weighed down by guilt and insecurity, after all, and feels like he failed her in 3.11.)

Again, I do think Crosshair underestimates and/or doesn't fully accept how much he means to her (or how much she needs him).

But, I think he’s ultimately trying to tell his brothers: "You two can't die, because Omega needs you."

Crosshair knows how much they care about her. He probably thinks they'll agree to anything -- no matter how stupid -- if helps guarantee her safety.

Omega is the best reason he has to convince them they need to live.

In general, Tech went through a similar process in 2.16.

He first told his family to "sever the connection hinge now," and Wrecker refused. He called for Plan 99 and Wrecker still tried to talk him out of it. So, he shot the connection hinge himself, because he knew they'd never let him go even if it meant they’d all die too.

(RIP. He really was the bestest boy and the squad's MVP.)

Crosshair is doing the same thing: he's trying to convince his brothers to let him sacrifice himself to ensure their safety. 😭

Now, Tech's situation was different. It really was "either he dies or they all die." There was no way around it.

But that's not a guarantee here in 3.15, although Crosshair thinks it is. (And as we see later, he's basically right. The CX operatives could've and would've killed them, but Hemlock apparently wanted them alive.)

Anyway, let's close out Crosshair's monologue:

Crosshair: So, I'm doing this alone. It's-- It's what I deserve.

Pairing this with his previous statement that Omega needs Hunter and Wrecker, it can definitely sound like "I don't matter to Omega (like you do), so I need to sacrifice myself." Again, there's an argument to be made for that.

(EDIT: I really think DBB’s delivery of “Omega needs you both. So, I’m doing this alone. It’s what I deserve” is a BIG part of why people interpret it the way they do. And they’re arguably not wrong to do so. It does feel in-character for Crosshair.)

But, I'm guessing he means that sacrificing himself will finally atone for everything he's done -- hunting down and nearly killing his family, killing all sorts of people for the Empire, failing his loved ones, etc.

He's telling them: "I've made so many mistakes. Let me make up for it now by keeping you safe."

Thankfully, Hunter and Wrecker talk him out of it.

Hunter: Don't even think about Plan 99, Crosshair. Omega needs all of us, and so do those clones. Wrecker: We've always known the risks, and so did Tech. We do this together.

Hunter affirms that Omega needs all three of them. He's using the same logic that Crosshair tried: "Don't throw your life away, because Omega needs you too."

And Wrecker tells Crosshair more clearly that he knows their squad isn't invincible anymore. But, if they're going to do anything, they're going to do it together.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Crosshair planned to keep arguing with them, but then they got distracted by the Zillo beast. 😅

In summary

If I had to rewrite Crosshair's monologue so it would more clearly convey what I think he's trying to say, it would go something like this:

Crosshair: Wrecker, we're not wild Clone Wars frat boys anymore. If we go rushing into Tantiss like we used to, we're all gonna die. You two need to live for Omega's sake. So, stay here and stay safe, and let me sacrifice myself. I nearly killed you all, and did a whole bunch of other bullshit, so I need to make up it.

As I said, I think a lot of these points are open to debate and discussion. But, I wanted to offer alternative interpretations for some of these iconic lines, because I feel like everyone keeps landing on the same (wrong) ones.

Feel free to comment/reblog with your thoughts!

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yingdu-lover · 3 months ago

Note

(Reads your tags reblogging my post) Oh cool lol

Seriously though, tell me about it! :) What are your thoughts on Link Click getting a happy ending other than wanting it to? What’s your reasoning for it making sense? :)

Hiiiii! it's so nice 🥹 to meet people who root for link click happy ending. ftghvuhjdhhjjk.. anyways. I saw your ask the moment you sent it but I was collecting sources (Tumblr meta/twitter thread) for your easy access. That will be a LOT of reading and I think I missed a few posts. I'll add once I find them (I need to get better at tagging 😭)

This was my first meta. Even though it gets heavier in theory, I think you'll find it interesting! I argued here how Shiguang represents Yin/Yang who can't exist without each other. Either they both die from the same realm or exist together. Separation does not fit them.

Extraordinary thread. You can follow Temps on twitter, they have brilliant and insightful analysis! Also Centofu. They argue how Cheng Xiaoshi is NOT the dead wife. He appears to be but it is lc typical illusion.

(Before pasting other links I want to give you a summary of my theory. So, narratologically speaking, every storytelling (except for absurd tragi-comedy, link click is ofc not an absurd tragi-comedy) has to make a journey from point A to point B, weaving a significant difference along the way. In simpler terms, you can't revert back to point zero. It doesn't make sense. It won't signify anything.

Every tragic tragedy opens with a very happy setting and then things go downhill and that's why the tragedy hits hard. By definition, comedy is a genre that starts with a depressing/sad setting, there are hindrances and then happy ending makes so sense, it becomes satisfactory.

Now, tell me, exactly when link click was happy in the beginning? it has the doomed narrative even before the narrative began. Cheng Xiaoshi, the protagonist died BEFORE the story even began and Lu Guang has been hurting since S1 (or before). We were just not aware of it. Would it really make a justifiable artistic journey if link click begins with Cheng Xiaoshi's death and Lu Guang's pain and then AGAIN ends with Cheng Xiaoshi's death and Lu Guang's acceptance of his death? Huh. It will be an extremely dull move. For a genius story like Link Click, I have a hard time accepting the fact that it will sail in that direction.

Also, Shiguang are heavily paralleled with noodle lesbians (do you know that in real life they are very close male colleagues working in the Haoliners Animation League lmao), Dong Yi/Xu Shanshan, Liu Siwen and his wife story; each and every story tells how sincerity of love transcends the wrath of fate. Also if you tell me, but yk Shiguang are explicitly paralleled with Chen Bin/his wife in S2 ep 12 so they are doomed right?

Well, you remember what Cheng Xiaoshi said while diving into old Chen Bin and proposing his wife going back in time right after Chen Bin's funeral? He said : In another lifetime, I promise that I will never leave you.

Those are Cheng Xiaoshi's words to Lu Guang. Our timeline is basically their next life. Cheng Xiaoshi died and the past world crumbled and destroyed with him, it no longer exists (yes, director haoling li said that parallel timelines don't exist. the moment lu guang dived into a new photo, the reality of the last world stopped existing) so, in a sense, lu guang also doesn't exist in that timeline. It's like...they both died. And now it's their next life trying to be with each other.

Another strong evidence of lc happy ending is The Eye, Yingdu's opening- from lyrics to visual storytelling everything hints at a shiguang happy ending with qiao ling's active intervention. This song has a literal discourse. If you are interested, I'll list the analysis in a separate post.)

Yingdu ep 1 is actually a very hopeful and strong anti-death narrative if I say despite literal horror maiming us in the beginning...it's so good (I think I didn't 😭 complete the review tho)

Ah Shakespeare. As we know that Shakespeare's poet speaker (lg clearly) is attempting to save his beloved fair youth (cxs our precious boy) from the scythe of death and fate. Yingdu stresses on Shakespeare sonnets very much, so this metatexual reading is important if you ask me.

We should leave the fuck out in front of Bilibili and learn how to not give a single fuck about your favourite ship. I suggest watching Bilibili's every Yingdu edit on twitter.

ah, do not forget to read the reblogs for more critical and hopeful discussions

The whole yearning poem of lg genius link clickers deciphered

hahahaha, Temps again.

My analysis on shiguang parallels with Dong Yi/Xu Shanshan story.

I should have saved my noodle lesbians and Liu Siwen post too..ugh anyways I'll add them when I find them

#tumblr asks #link click happy ending #link click theory #shiguang #link click #lu guang #cheng xiaoshi #shiguang daili ren #时光代理人 #yingdu chapter #guangshi

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warsofasoiaf · 4 months ago

Note

You're massively overthinking things. It simply boils down to Americans being sick of forever wars as the world's police, picking Trump in 16 over the Bush-party and the establishment SecState, taking-credit-for-Libya Clinton, and in 24, because they have zero interest in tax dollars (or worse) being spent on a corruptocrat bullshit country fighting one with nukes & oil. Trump is simply not smart or prudent enough to refrain from getting hyperbolic in rejecting the anti-Putin mania.

Your hard-on for Putin also has you looking at concessions as "things you don't want Putin to have" instead of "things that might cost AMERICA less than funding the Keystone Kops civil war". How many times do Trump & his supporters have to say "America first" before you get that's what they mean, not "sure, America, but also we have to solve this international issue I did my thesis on/have a consulting job lined up concerning/etc..." that every foreign policy "expert" says is a priority? Final point: "The 80s called, they want their foreign policy back" - the last 100% mentally there POTUS, campaigning for re-election, which he won despite being black, and telling Medvedev on a hot mike that he'd be able to help more in his second term. Making 3 of the last 4 elections where Americans picked the not-fighting-Russia guy. Sorry Ukraine, but maybe don't go bullying ethnic Russian citizens next time. "It does not do to leave a dragon out of your calculations if you live near him."

LOL, this is amazing. Ukraine's corruption is a relic of the Soviet Union and the Russian Federation - they actually want to be our ally.

Public polling said that inflation was a primary concern and that among Americans, they largely were supportive of Ukraine, rather than Russia. People wanted Trump in 16 because they were tired of being condescended to. And let's not forget, in a climate with >5% inflation, Trump squeaked by with 1.4%. He was given the 2024 election on a silver platter and he still managed to almost fuck it up. You're out of touch, deep in your Twitter echo chamber. Touch grass, boyo.

Forever war? Trump is openly fetishizing invading Greenland, Canada, and Panama. He's the forever war candidate butthurt that his current legacy is "the second guy that was a non-consecutive President but also got impeached because he was a little snowflake scared about losing an election that he tried to get oppo dirt."

I'll believe that Trump is "America First" when he actually starts doing policies that benefit Americans. Because right now, he's driving up inflation and driving down the stock market with tariff threats. Cost America less? Idiot wants to ram through 4.5 trillion worth of tax cuts and explode the deficit so don't tell me he cares about fiscal responsibility. Ukraine aid is spent here, in the US, spent at the Lima Plant modernizing our military. That's stuff that actually makes the US stronger. Meanwhile Trump is talking about trying to open up trade with Russia - and torpedoing trade with Europe (a larger partner) to do it. He wants the US to finance Russian reconstruction, the same Russians that tried to kill us in Khasham and that regularly arrest US citizens on flimsy charges so that they can extract concessions via hostage diplomacy. That's not caring about Americans - that's a "Russia First, America after" policy.

Ukraine bullying ethnic Russians. That's fucking rich. Boo-hoo, the ethnic Russians in Ukraine are big sad that everyone doesn't tell them that Russia is the biggest and best boy ever. Cry more, loser.

Try again, buddy! Maybe do some research instead of swallowing Russian propaganda wholesale and believing it makes you a free thinker.

-SLAL

#donald trump #donald j trump #modern politics #troll

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shiningwonderland · 2 months ago

Text

Ranmaru Kurosaki (All Star)

Translator: Nadie (Twitter: NmoniaG)

Proofreader: Raine (Twitter: amagiyas)

Editor: Snail (Twitter: herbert_snail)

Chapter Five - Unexpected DISTORTION

Masato Hijirikawa: Welcome back to another episode of "Ranmaru Kurosaki's Rock 'n' Roller"! Tonight's program is packed once again!

Ren Jinguji: We'll introduce you to all kinds of high-spirited rock styles. Make sure to stay until the end!

Ranmaru Kurosaki: No time t'lose! We're starting off with a banger today! Steel yerselves and listen up!

Kurosaki-senpai snaps his fingers toward the camera.

At the same time, the song that he selected for today starts playing.

Kurosaki-senpai, you're so cool!

The other day he told me to come to the studio before our meeting to watch his program.

"Ranmaru Kurosaki's Rock 'n' Roller" is a midnight show hosted by Senpai.

It's popular for its information on rock music, atypical for idols, as well as its upbeat and loaded corners.

I was put in charge of the opening song for this show. That's why I came here today to watch it.

Masato Hijirikawa: Now, for the next segment of this show: "My—"

Ren Jinguji: "My—"

Ranmaru Kurosaki: "Rock 'n' Roll"!!

The announcement of the name of the next segment is followed by the strumming of a guitar.

In this segment, viewers send in various "rock-related incidents" which Kurosaki-senpai then rates on a rock meter.

It's a popular segment on the show.

Masato Hijirikawa: Well then, the first Rock and Roll is "G" from Kyoto… Hm…? This is…

Hijirikawa-san's eyebrows knit together upon reading that outloud.

Masato Hijirikawa: In any case… let's just continue. I'll read it.

Masato Hijirikawa: "The young master of my household is striving to become a top idol…"

Masato Hijirikawa: "In order to celebrate his successful debut, I went to visit a CD shop…"

Masato Hijirikawa: "I placed the young master's CDs in front of every other CD on the shelves! Rock and Roll!"

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Son of a—Yer just inconveniencin' other musicians! Nothin' rock 'bout that! Zero points!! Zero-ck and Roll!

Kurosaki-senpai hits the button in front of him with full strength. Then, "0 Points" appears on the monitor.

That's too bad, Mister "G."

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Ugh, whatever, Ren, read the next one!

Ren Jinguji: Okay, Ran-chan. Hm, the next Rock and Roll's rock name is... "Joe G"?

Ren Jinguji: "I'm the bodyguard of the third son of a certain conglomerate." Wait, that's…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: What's wrong, Ren? Go on.

At Kurosaki-senpai's urging, Jinguji-san continues to read.

Ren Jinguji: "One day, I noticed a dark shadow trailing him. So I took my .44 Magnum from its holster. The wasteland's bird of prey—A Desert Eagle."

Ren Jinguji: "I didn't realize it then. But who would have thought that this would be related to the intrigue of an international diamond organisation?"

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Rocker stop!!

Kurosaki-senpai stops Jinguji-san.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: What happens next's no joke! I give ya 80 points, but don't ever send another message t'us again!

Kurosaki-senpai hits the rating button with gusto.

You got a high score, Mister "Joe G"! Congratulations!

And just like that, the program comes to a seamless end. Everyone is now taking a break in the dressing room.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: The messages today weren't that good. Hopefully we'll have better luck next time.

Kurosaki-senpai slumps down on a chair.

Senpai looks tired. Maybe I should get him something to drink…

Select the Phrase!

オレンジジュース　Orange juice (+10 Love)

There's nothing better than vitamin C to beat the exhaustion after a recording.

Haruka Nanami: Kurosaki-senpai! Here, have some orange juice!

I pour the juice in a cup and hand it to him.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Orange juice…? Do I look like a kid t'you? I'm not you…

Haruka Nanami: Oh…

He has a point, it doesn't really fit his image…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Well, whatever. It has vitamins, which is good for the body... I'll take a sip.

He takes the orange juice and downs the whole cup.

コーラ　Cola (+15 Love)

Haruka Nanami: Senpai, take this!

I hand him a can of cola that I bought at the vending machine.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Aight… Rock and cola, a nice combination. Good thinkin'.

He drinks the cola with a satisfied expression.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: —Ahh! Cold and tasty. It's no beer, but that really hit the spot.

Seems like he's happy about it. That's good!

お茶　Tea (+0 Love)

Haruka Nanami: Ah, Senpai, take this!

I serve Senpai some of the tea from the pot in the dressing room.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Hm, thanks. Pff, hot! The temperature's too hot!

Senpai, who wanted to chug the whole thing, starts coughing.

When I look at the tea pot I can see it's boiling, explaining why the temperature was so high.

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry! A-are you hurt?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: That burned… Make sure t'only pick cold drinks from now on!

Haruka Nanami: U-understood..!

I reply while handing him some water.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: So? Any ideas for the opening song?

He asks after taking a breath.

Haruka Nanami: Let's see… How about a band?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: A band?

Haruka Nanami: Yes. It's an opening song for a rock show, and since everyone can play an instrument I thought it would be nice to have you all perform.

Masato Hijirikawa: I see… Everyone is used to seeing us sing, but it's a rare sight to see us play our instruments.

Ren Jinguji: Not to mention that playing an instrument is sexy. I'm sure it'll do well, Lady.

Haruka Nanami: Thank you!

Kurosaki-senpai folds his arms and seems to contemplate something.

Does he not like the idea?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: It ain't a bad idea, but…

He mumbles a few words.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: I'd play the bass, Masato the keyboard and Ren the saxophone. But we don't have drums or guitar.

Haruka Nanami: We could have the instruments programmed. Or we could ask someone to help us with that part.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Programmin' would kill the soul of it, and askin' randos for help would also…

"Mmm…" he adds in a low voice.

Then…

Jii: If you will pardon me.

I hear a familiar voice from behind the door.

That voice belongs to…

Haruka Nanami: Jiiya-san?!

I open the door and see Jiiya-san, Hijirikawa-san's elderly manservant, standing in front of me.

Jiiya-san previously enrolled in the Saotome Academy which is where I first met him.

Jii: My, my, I just wanted to check in and see how things have been going since we last met. Hm? You are the Jinguji scion! And you are…?

Jiiya-san stares at Kurosaki-senpai unblinkingly.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Who the hell are ya…?

Jii: I am Fujikawa, a butler at the Hijirikawa household. Could you possibly be the Kurosaki—

Masato Hijirikawa: Hold on, Jii, why did you barge into the dressing room without notice?

Hijirikawa-san asks while trying to read Kurosaki-senpai's facial expression.

Masato Hijirikawa: And also, Jii… Could it be that you sent an email to a certain rock show?

Jii: Whoa, COUGH, COUGH! What could you possibly mean?

Jiiya-san suddenly chokes.

Jii: Aaah, that reminds me! I wanted to give you this, Young Master!

Saying this, Jiiya-san takes a letter out of the breast of his kimono.

Masato Hijirikawa: What's this…? Oh, are those the documents I asked for?

Hijirikawa-san eyes the documents.

Masato Hijirikawa: Hariya Holdings… So it's… Hariya?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Hariya?

Upon hearing what Hijirikawa-san said, Senpai looks up in surprise.

And then…

George: Pardon me.

Huh? I remember that voice too…

As the door creaks open, a tall man enters the room.

Haruka Nanami: Oh, George-san!

George: Ah, so you're here as well. The Hijirikawa scion too… It has been a while. Hm? Are you…

George-san now, too, stares at Kurosaki-senpai.

Ren Jinguji: Oh, right. This is my senpai, Ranmaru Kurosaki—Ran-chan. This is George, my family's butler.

Jinguji-san introduces him to Kurosaki-senpai.

George: I knew it, you are the heir of the Kurosaki family.

Ren Jinguji: And? What brings you here? That said, there's something I want to ask you. Did you send an email to a certain rock show—

George: Ughhh, an old wound on my back is suddenly hurting.

He says, seemingly wanting to interrupt Jinguji-san, then taps his fist on the palm of his hand as if he's remembered something.

George: That's right, I just remembered—I came here to give you the picture I got of the man you've mentioned before.

George-san takes a picture out of his pocket.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …!

Senpai is startled when he sees the picture.

Haruka Nanami: Huh? I feel like I've seen that man before…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: What? Where have ya seen him?

Kurosaki-senpai asks me surprised.

Haruka Nanami: I can't quite remember, but I believe I saw him and some other people in front of the agency last month…

Haruka Nanami: They were pacing back and forth.

Haruka Nanami: They stuck out to me since they didn't seem to be affiliated with the agency nor did they look like journalists.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …That Hariya… Why's he suddenly lurkin' 'round…

He mumbles while looking at the picture.

Now that I think of it, Hijirikawa-san and Jinguji-san did mention some trouble regarding their conglomerates.

Could that person be related to that?

Haruka Nanami: Do you know that person, Senpai?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Yeah…

He then seals his mouth shut and we set off on our way to the next place.

Jii: I see… So that's how things turned out. You became Kurosaki-dono's partner…

Afterwards, Kurosaki-senpai left the studio without uttering a single word.

Hijirikawa-san and Jinguji-san also went separate ways to their next job.

I wanted to know more about the conversation from earlier, which is why I am now at a café with Jiiya-san and George-san.

There seems to have been some discord between the two households. Adding to that, there may have been some competition.

But since Jinguji-san and Hijirikawa-san started getting along, the relationship between their families seems to have calmed down as well.

Jii: What happened to Kurosaki-dono weighed on my mind as well…

Jiiya-san sighs and takes a sip from his black tea.

George: Yes, I wondered what had happened to him after the previous head of the Kurosaki family passed away. I never would've imagined that he'd be Ren's…

Haruka Nanami: Umm, are you both familiar with Kurosaki-senpai's family?

Jii: Because they are from conglomerates, they have many similar connections. Of course, their fates are also intertwined…

Jiiya-san and George-san both nod in agreement.

Jii: The head of the Kurosaki family, in other words, Kurosaki-dono's father was an exceptionally great and kind man.

Jii: Because of this, he was taken advantage of by other companies during the economic depression, and on top of that, he was betrayed by the people he trusted...

George: After that, he tried many things to restore his household to its former state. When he began to engage in unfamiliar business, it caused him great anxiety and he passed away soon after.

Jii: It was a difficult time for every conglomerate. There was no leeway to help anyone else.

Jii: I heard that the Kurosaki family members who were left behind were then taken care of by the wife's family. I'm glad to see him in good health.

Jiiya-san sighs in relief.

Jii: However, in a world where we don't know what will happen… The young master seems worried about you and Kurosaki-dono too.

George: Well, in case something happens, give me a call. If there is something I can help with, I will.

Jii: Yes, me too! And please take good care of our young master as well.

Both of them hand me their business cards.

Haruka Nanami: Thank you so much. Oh, by the way… what are the two of you holding there?

I ask what has been on my mind for a while now.

Jiiya-san has a long, narrow nylon case strapped on his back.

And George-san is wearing wooden sticks at his hip.

Could those be…

Jii: Oooh, what an excellent question! I've recently gotten into a new hobby.

Jiiya-san then goes on to take out…

Haruka Nanami: An… electric guitar?

Jii: That is correct!

He plays an unexpectedly heavy rock riff on the guitar.

The guests at the café give him a round of applause.

Jii: To tell the truth, I was once quite fond of the shamisen. An instrument like this one is quite simple in comparison.

With that said, Jiiya-san starts playing an extremely fast diminished arpeggio.

Haruka Nanami: Incredible… You're so good!

Knowing that Jiiya-san was the one who taught Hijirikawa-san the piano, maybe he's a natural when it comes to musical ability.

Haruka Nanami: And George-san those… are drumsticks, right?

George: Correct.

George-san takes the drumsticks from his hip and starts spinning them around.

George: I was looking for a weapon that I could use in all situations. I had considered nunchaku at first, but these here are more inconspicuous.

George: Originally I started playing drums to disguise myself, but grown quite fond of them.

George-san starts to lightly hit the table with a driving drum beat.

That's… so cool!

The guests give another round of applause.

Jii: Well then! I have my guitar lesson soon, so I must excuse myself!

George: Yes, I too have to excuse myself now. A friend of mine's band will be starting practice soon, so I'll be going.

As they chat about their bands, they excuse themselves and go their separate ways.

They seem quite energetic.

I'm happy that they made up, but…

I'm still worried about Kurosaki-senpai.

Senpai was acting weird when he saw the documents these two had delivered earlier…

Haruka Nanami: Maybe I should call him…

Select the Phrase!

直接会に行く　Go to him (+15 Love)

I remember that Senpai's next job was an interview for a rock magazine at a studio.

That studio isn't far from here, so I could see him in person…

With that, I leave the café.

メールをする　Message him (+0 Love)

Haruka Nanami: I'll try messaging him…

I take out my phone.

But I don't know what to say after that conversation earlier…

I remember that Senpai's next job was an interview for a rock magazine at a studio not far from here.

Haruka Nanami: I could go to him directly…

I put my phone back in my pocket and get up from my chair.

電話をする　Call him (+10 Love)

Haruka Nanami: If I could only hear his voice then…

With that thought in mind, I take out my phone.

But what should I say once I call him…?

It occurs to me then that Senpai should be in the middle of an interview for a rock magazine at a studio not far from here now.

Haruka Nanami: In that case, I can go to him directly…

I put my phone away and leave the café.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: The coexistence between idols and rock? Never thought 'bout that.

I could hear Kurosaki-senpai's voice from inside the studio.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: 'Course if the composition isn't right, the whole song will change. You gotta watch out in the technical aspect, but that's just trivial.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Although I'm an idol, my way of life is still rock. Even when I'm singin' a rock song, I wanna make sure that the audience is enjoying themselves.

Kurosaki-senpai faces the interviewer and answers seriously.

He is really thorough and simply fantastic when he talks about music.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Instead of a rock song or an idol song, I'll be singin' a song for myself at the upcomin' Song Festival.

Ah… He's talking about our song…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: By the way, we'll perform as a three man band on my rock program. Each of us'll blow away your expectations, so buckle up.

He says with a smile.

Finally, the interviewer ends the interview with a slight bow and stands up.

Even after the interviewer leaves, Kurosaki-senpai remains seated on his chair, resting his chin on his hand.

Could he be thinking about something?

I hesitate to call out to him, so I continue watching him from a distance.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Hm? So it's you. What's with that dumb look?

Kurosaki-senpai calls out to me after noticing me.

He seems more like his usual self which is a relief.

Haruka Nanami: Um, I happened to be close by, so… if you'd like, we could walk home together?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Fine. Since you've no homin' instinct, I'll take ya home.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: It'd be a real pain if ya get lost. Let's go.

After leaving the studio, Senpai says nothing.

I don't say a word either. The silence between us stretches on.

Then, Senpai suddenly opens his mouth.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Hariya was… a faithful subordinate of my old man.

Along the way, little by little, he starts to drop things about his past.

Maybe he could tell that I wanted to know.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: He wasn't just a subordinate, he was also active in the shadows of the Kurosaki family.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Like destroyin' information that shouldn't be made public. Basically doin' the dirty jobs that we wouldn't want t'dirty our hands with.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …Well, it's a story that ya don't need t'know more about. Just forget it.

The story he told me was something that never happened anywhere near me, so frankly, I cannot understand how he feels.

It's a world far from reality... That's probably the best way to describe it.

But from the way Senpai speaks about it, it's painfully clear that this is his reality.

Haruka Nanami: So that's what happened… But didn't you say your father trusted Hariya-san?

Haruka Nanami: Then why did he leave your father's side…

Jiiya-san mentioned before that his father was betrayed by a subordinate that he trusted, but…

Was that really Hariya-san?

If that's the case, it's terribly sad.

Haruka Nanami: I think it's very hurtful when someone you trust leaves your side…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Who knows. I'm not Hariya, so I dunno where that came from.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: But… it's not all bad memories. It's thanks t'him that I had the opportunity to play the bass.

Haruka Nanami: Thanks to Hariya-san?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Whenever we were drivin' in his car, sometimes we would listen to the music he liked. It shook my soul.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: From low tunes, which I could feel in my core t'accurately beatin' and calmin' rhythms—I was absorbed in those sounds.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Even with other sounds playing, all I could hear was that one specific sound. That was the first time I heard the bass.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Hariya, who had a certain amount of knowledge 'bout music, arranged a bass for me. I'm grateful t'him for that.

Senpai, whose expressions were a little tense, now has a soft look.

Like immersing himself in memories of the past, far away and nostalgic.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: 'Cause of my old man's passing, the colors of the world disappeared.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Whatever I did, all I could see was a horrible reality where everythin' was dull. I was just going through the motions each day.

As if his body is melting into the twilight, Senpai seems to be trapped in an illusion.

Carrying the problems of his family, enduring it all by himself.

Unable to ask anyone for help nor able to utter any complaint…

Beneath his strong shell hides a lonely shadow.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Music was my sole light, the only color in all this time.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: That's why I chose this path. It's only when I sing songs and play the bass that I feel like I exist.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: On stage, my fans demand for my music and I answer them. I live for music…

Now I feel like I understand how he can shine so brightly on stage.

That's why his fans are so precious to him.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: That's also how I ended up bein' able t'make music with you.

Those words pierce my heart. I feel a range of complex emotions, not only happiness but also sadness as well.

When I think of all the hardships and sadness he had to endure, I just can't feel any real happiness.

That's why I want him to be happy, even just a little. I want him to live happily.

For that, I will do anything…

This is what I vow in my heart.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Hey… What's with that glum face?

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry… I'll do my best.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Where'd that come from? It's got nothin' to do with what we were talking 'bout. Man…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: However, it's gonna be annoyin' when Hariya actually makes a move. He's really persistent…

He heaves a sigh.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Ya better watch out as well.

"There's no knowin' what he'll do if he finds out you're my partner," he replies jokingly.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: If possible, it'd be safer for you to stay close t'me, but…

Haruka Nanami: But I have work at the agency and also need to compose your solo song…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Yeah… If anythin' happens, call me right away.

Haruka Nanami: I will.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Not t'mention the Song Festival. Your debut depends on it... So there's no time t'take precautions.

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Dummy, there's nothin' you need t'apologize for.

He says, side-eyeing me.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: By the way, ya said somethin' 'bout being close by but what were you doing? There's nothin' here except for the studio.

…That's right!

Haruka Nanami: Er, well, I—I wonder what I was doing…? Haha…

Perplexed by his sudden question, I answer.

He's right! There are only residential houses near the studio.

The studio itself is also in a location that is difficult to find.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Don't ask me, dummy. Ya shouldn't tell such obvious lies. You were… worried 'bout me, right?

Kurosaki-senpai asks as if eyeing me.

Select the Phrase!

そんなことありません　I wasn't (+15 Love)

Haruka Nanami: N-no, I was just, um…

I try to act tough because he has seen through my heart.

I try to deny how worried I was, but my attempt to answer fails.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Oh? She actually tried to say somethin' just now. 'Kay, fine. I'll leave it at that.

He bumps my forehead lightly with his hand, wearing the smile of a mischievous child on his face.

心配でした　I was worried (+30 Love)

Haruka Nanami: I was worried. Like really, really worried and there was nothing I could do…

Haruka Nanami: I know that you don't want to rely on me, but please tell me if I can do anything.

I push myself and express my honest feelings.

I didn't want to concern him but once I started thinking about him, my mouth just moved on its own.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Oh… I get it. I just wanted to tease ya. No need t'answer so seriously.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Anyway… thank you, Little Miss Partner. Let's work together.

He taps me on my shoulder very gently which makes me really happy.

……ごめんなさい　...Sorry (+0 Love)

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry for lying.

But I was worried about you, so…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Don't apologize. I don't mind. 'Sides, I'd never fall for a lie like that.

"You're an exaggerator," he laughs, leaving me speechless.

Haruka Nanami: …!!

This is his happy smile. So he can laugh like that...

In that moment my heart skips a beat.

At the same time, I want to see more of his smiles.

How I'd like to experience various things with him.

Haruka Nanami: What color do you like, Kurosaki-senpai?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: What? Why d'you ask?

Haruka Nanami: You mentioned earlier that your life was colorless.

Haruka Nanami: I just thought about dyeing your life in your favorite color…

I want to add color to his life with my music.

I want to walk a sparkling and shining path of music with him.

And if possible, I want him to find happiness aside from music.

These are my honest feelings.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …Any color's fine, really. What would you pick?

Haruka Nanami: How about a rose color? "La Vie en rose..." There they say life is rose-colored.

I remember the red bass pick he gave me for Christmas which reminded me of a rose petal.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …Pfft. I ain't really suited to roses. How'd you come to that conclusion?

Haruka Nanami: You're gallant like a red rose, and the thorns protect the body, which stands for your strong side.

Haruka Nanami: And then, the deep red stands for your passionate and energetic personality…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Enough. Let's leave it there…

Haruka Nanami: In any case, we can start with the things we can do!

Haruka Nanami: I want to find things we can enjoy together outside of music and work!

I said we could do it, but I haven't thought past that yet.

When I try to explain my feelings, I can't help but over-explain.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: You really are weird. You won't gain anything from goin' that far.

Haruka Nanami: But it might make you smile!

Ranmaru Kurosaki: !!

Haruka Nanami: And that's more than enough for me.

Haruka Nanami: Um, er… did I say something strange?

Senpai stops in his tracks looking surprised. I start to worry, wondering if I've been talking too much by myself.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …Nah. It'd be great if that came true one day.

Haruka Nanami: Yes!!

We then talked a little about the upcoming Song Festival, as well as the TV program. Afterwards, I returned back to my dorm to which he had accompanied me.

I have bothered him again.

The thing with Hariya-san worries me, but this way I was able to hear about Senpai's past directly from him.

I feel like I've gotten closer to his heart.

I remember what he said about his past.

Haruka Nanami: Maybe he trusts me a little bit more now?

The fact that he would tell me about his past on his own would have been unthinkable not too long ago.

He had experienced so many unimaginable things in his life.

A life in which, for the most part, he was the one who got hurt.

But that's why he's so strong and capable of doing everything by himself.

Haruka Nanami: Okay! I'll work hard and make an even better song!

I don't know what I can do to help him, but I will work hard on the things I can do, one step at a time.

I head straight for my desk and begin working on the song.

A few days later, I received a call from Kurosaki-senpai.

It's rare for him to be the one to reach out. So, while suppressing my happy mood, I go to see Kurosaki-senpai.

I wonder what he wants?

I'd like him to give his solo song a listen, which is why I brought the demo track with me.

I implemented all the advice he gave during our meeting last month.

I really hope he'll like it…

This isn't my first time here, but standing in front of his apartment makes me nervous.

I want him to listen to my song, but I'm also looking forward to seeing him—these feelings are building up in my heart.

Haruka Nanami: Hello? It's me, Haruka Nanami.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Yeah, come in.

Contrary to my nervous heart, Senpai seems somewhat gloomy.

Haruka Nanami: I'm coming in then.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: D'you have… the demo track on ya?

In this unusual atmosphere, I stand quiet with my head hung low when he suddenly asks.

Haruka Nanami: Hm? Um, yes I do.

He gazes at me with serious eyes, making my pulse quicken.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Lemme hear it.

He says quietly.

I nod and borrow his audio set in the living room and press the play button.

SONG: "BRIGHT ROAD" (S RANK)

Ranmaru Kurosaki: I understand your feelings now…

He mutters once the song ends.

Haruka Nanami: My feelings…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Mh-hm. You've worked real hard.

As he says that, he pats my head gently.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: But… this song ain't good enough for me t'sing it.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: I'm puttin' an end to this partnership. Plus, I won't perform at the Song Festival so go look for someone else. That's all I wanted to tell ya.

Kurosaki-senpai looks me straight in the eye while saying that.

Haruka Nanami: Wha…?

This is all so sudden. I'm at a loss for words.

My head is spinning trying to understand the situation.

Select the Phrase!

どういうことか尋ねる　Ask what he means (+15 Love)

Haruka Nanami: What do you mean?

There must be a reason.

I never imagined to hear such words from him after the talk we had on our way home.

Haruka Nanami: I'll fix the song if you don't like it! So please, tell me the reason.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …There ain't a reason. I decided that I don't have t'sing it. That's it.

As if to hide his feelings, he drops his gaze.

嫌だと食い下がる　Persist (+20 Love)

Haruka Nanami: No! This is way too sudden!

I grab his arm and frantically protest.

Haruka Nanami: If I did something wrong, I'll fix it!

Haruka Nanami: So please…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Shut up! …Calm down. It's not 'cause of you.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: It's somethin' I've decided. Nothin' more.

Kurosaki-senpai brushes my hand off and sighs lightly.

言葉が見つからない　I can't find the words (+0 Love)

Haruka Nanami: …

I'm so shocked I don't know what to say.

I cast my gaze down without saying a word.

I must have made some sort of mistake. That's why he's had enough of me.

I reflect on my own shortcomings.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …My bad. I must have surprised ya, I'm sorry.

Only his voice resounds in the living room, followed by more silence.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: This is my problem. It has nothing t'do with you.

He declares after a short while.

But in his expression, I could feel hesitation.

Whenever Senpai declares something, he'd do so with unyielding confidence and firm resolution.

Right now, he seems different.

Haruka Nanami: I can't agree with that.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …!

Maybe my words take him by surprise, but he looks back at me.

Haruka Nanami: I know we haven't known each other for long, but all this time I've been watching you.

Haruka Nanami: That's why I know that you're not someone who'd say something like that without a reason.

Haruka Nanami: So please, tell me.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: There's no need, or rather, I won't tell ya.

Haruka Nanami: Does it have to do with Hariya-san?

I can't think of any other reason. The way he responds right now is just like when we talked about Hariya-san back then.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: He's no joke. Stop sticking your nose into this.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: There are things in this world that you don't need to know about.

Haruka Nanami: But I want us to work together! It's better to do things together than alone.

Haruka Nanami: If I can help in any—

Haruka Nanami: Eek!

He grabs my shoulders and pushes me against the wall.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Know your place, woman… Didn't ya hear me? I said that there's no need to know anything more. Don't make me repeat myself.

I've never seen him with such a sharp gaze.

…It's scary.

Instinctually, my body starts trembling against my will.

I know this person in front of me is Kurosaki-senpai, but…

He feels like a stranger.

Being caught between his powerful arms, there is nowhere to escape.

I can't even avert my gaze.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: You're too soft. Reality ain't as simple as ya think.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Stop pretendin' that ya get it. That's what I hate the most. It makes me sick…

Haruka Nanami: …I-I'm so sorry.

He's as angry as he was in November when he told me not to pity him…

But even back then, his expressions and tone of voice were entirely different.

The words he hurls at me, as well as the fear, seem to take hold of me, dragging my body down along the wall.

He stops me from moving by grabbing my elbow as if he would not allow me to run away.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: What do you know 'bout me? Have ya ever seen real darkness? Do ya know what it feels like t'hit rock bottom?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Have ya ever been betrayed by someone ya trust?

Haruka Nanami: …!

A shriek of grief.

The words he whispers in my ears with his deep voice pierce my heart.

Those words are heavy and in them echoes a glimpse of honesty.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Hariya's simply ruthless. It'll just be a bother if I keep people around me who can't even protect themselves.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: By that I mean—you're in the way. And you're draggin' me down.

Haruka Nanami: !!

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Ya said ya want to help me? You can start by never showing your face to me again.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Don't expect me t'take responsibility for your life as well…

It's true, I was inconsiderate and let myself into his heart, and that's why he's telling me these things now.

I hurt him and this is how he expresses his sadness.

Even if I repent for my shamefulness, it won't be enough...

Various feelings muddle together as my eyes begin to burn.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Now you know… This is the kinda guy I am.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Hurting others 'cause of my egoism, and ready t'do so simply 'cause I believe it's right.

For a brief moment, as he draws back, I see a lonely expression on his face.

Haruka Nanami: …

It was just for a split second, but that expression was real.

I can feel it.

But what should I do?

Select the Phrase!

信じる　Believe (+20 Love)

I want to believe in him.

Whatever he says, I'll believe in the Senpai I got to know.

He said some harsh things, but he isn't someone who'd do so without a reason.

I'll just wait and trust him.

Until he tells me the truth.

Believing is the only thing I can do right now…

見守る　Watch him closely (+15 Love)

I'll watch him closely.

Just like he did for me.

He has always taken care of me without me noticing.

That was his way to show kindness—by not hurting the other person.

I want to return all the favors I owe him by believing in him.

This is the only thing I can do right now.

諦める　Give up (+0 Love)

In order to not burden him any further, giving up may be the best decision.

I know that this is what he wants.

But I wanted to trust him.

His expression earlier was just so lonely.

I can't leave him alone.

Even though he just refused me, I'll trust him and wait…

In my heart I've decided to trust him…

But he might think I'm lying if I tell him that.

I know now that "trust" isn't a word that should be used lightly around him.

Haruka Nanami: …

Ranmaru Kurosaki: I'll take the silence as your answer.

Kurosaki-senpai mutters.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: With that our partnership's over. Glad I don't have t'deal with such meaningless stuff anymore.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: This was also the best choice for ya. The babysittin' ends here.

Haruka Nanami: …

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …Say somethin'. Or are ya still scared? …My bad…

I don't reply and simply turn my head.

Then I leave Kurosaki-senpai's apartment.

Back at my dorm, I look at the solo song on the sheet music that I've adjusted.

I was helpless when we first met—so much so that I wasn't sure if we could make music together.

But as we continued to make the music we loved, we got to know each other a little better.

When I was nervous during the Christmas Live, he drew a sign and his signature on my palm.

Afterwards, he even opened up to me a little bit about his family…

Then we worked on his solo song.

It's a song full of memories, and a song that will determine my fate.

I should have gotten to know him better, and yet…

I open the data on my desktop.

Haruka Nanami: Was it… the right thing to do…?

As I ask myself, I keep looping the same song.

I wanted this song to be performed at the Song Festival.

But I composed this song with Kurosaki-senpai in mind, and no other person could complete it.

I want to perform at the Song Festival with him and debut as a professional composer.

I strongly wish for that.

Now, however… I no longer have a partner.

At least, I believe this is what he intended. So I just keep holding on to this faint hope.

That's the current situation.

On the surface, I'm pretending to accept the end of our partnership, but no matter how much I think about it, I don't know if that's the right choice.

Soon, I slump over the table and fall asleep…

The next morning…

I wake up to a phone call from the agency: "There is something urgent to discuss regarding Ranmaru Kurosaki."

I continue lost in a dream in which I was wandering in deep, black darkness.

The next morning.

Arriving at the agency, I stand dumbfounded before Hyuga-sensei.

Haruka Nanami: What…? Kurosaki-senpai… hit someone…?

Ryuya Hyuga: Yeah… We got a call this morning. It happened around midnight.

He says that the person he hit was an aide of a sponsor of the Song Festival.. Hyuga-sensei hands me an envelope.

Ryuya Hyuga: Open it.

Inside the envelope is…

Haruka Nanami: That's…!

Inside is a picture of Kurosaki-senpai who is about to hit someone who looks like a bodyguard.

…And Hariya-san who's being protected by that bodyguard.

The sponsor, Hariya-san, was on his way back from a meeting at a broadcasting station and a cameraman happened to also be there by chance. Or so it seems.

Hyuga-sensei lets out a sigh.

It appears Hariya-san became angry and sent a copy of the picture to the agency this morning.

Haruka Nanami: That can't be. Kurosaki-senpai wouldn't do something like that…

Ryuya Hyuga: A message was sent with the picture, demanding that Ranmaru be fired. Otherwise, they will not only make the picture public but also terminate their sponsorship for the Song Festival.

Haruka Nanami: What?!

I can feel the color draining from my face.

Ryuya Hyuga: In any case, we can't grasp this situation at all. That's why I thought we should listen to what Ranmaru has to say for himself, but he's not answering our calls…

Hyuga-sensei scratches his face with a troubled expression.

Ryuya Hyuga: So I thought maybe you would know something at least… Whoa, hey!

Without letting Hyuga-sensei finish his sentence, I turn towards the door and start running.

Ryuya Hyuga: Don't do anything ridiculous! Tell him that too!!

Haruka Nanami: Will do!

I shout behind me and storm out of the agency.

Haruka Nanami: Kurosaki-senpai! It's me, Nanami! Please, open the door!!

I bang on his apartment door .

Haruka Nanami: Kurosaki-senpai!!

Eventually…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …

The door opens slowly and Kurosaki-senpai peeks out.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Ya… What didya come 'ere for?

Haruka Nanami: Um… I heard about what happened last night from Hyuga-sensei.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: And?

He replies coldly.

I hold his gaze, refusing to be shaken by his cold demeanor.

Haruka Nanami: What… What on earth happened?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …It's exactly as ya heard.

Haruka Nanami: That…

Senpai does look rough, but he's actually nicer and more considerate than anyone else.

I know that.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: I met Hariya and told 'im I won't perform at the Song Festival. I knew he's part of it, that's why.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Then we got into an argument. He pissed me off, so I punched him.

Haruka Nanami: An argument…?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: It has nothin' t'do with ya. It's an old and borin' story…

Ranmaru Kurosaki: I feel much better now. I was finally able t'hit that sneaky bastard.

Kurosaki-senpai says in disgust and laughs lightly.

Haruka Nanami: I… believe in you. You are not the type of person to hit someone without a reason, Senpai.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: What makes ya believe in me so strongly? You saw the picture, you can't be that blind.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: If you trust someone enough t'be betrayed by 'em, maybe you're better off not trustin' anyone in the first place.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: I can survive on my own without trustin' or relyin' on someone else.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: If there's a problem, I'll fix it myself. That's how it's always been.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Don't force your weird ideals on me.

But…

Haruka Nanami: The Kurosaki-senpai that I got to know, however…

Haruka Nanami: Helps you find the way when you go into the wrong direction. He protects the elderly when debt collectors come to their restaurant.

I tell him eagerly while having my eyes fixed on him.

Haruka Nanami: He wasn't violent toward the debt collectors either. The one time he did raise his hand, it was because he got angry when he saw that they were attacking a weaker person.

Haruka Nanami: That Senpai is in fact considerate, kind, and someone who understands other people's feelings!

Haruka Nanami: That's why he'd never… he'd never hit someone because of anger… Clearly, something must have happened!!

Kurosaki-senpai meets my gaze and chortles.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: That's why I said you're too soft. I fooled ya with my little act.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: The real me's cold, and doesn't give a damn 'bout other people's feelings. I trust nobody… only money.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Good for you that our partnership's over. It's even better for you t'stay away from me.

Haruka Nanami: Why would you say that…?

I ask as he gently strokes the side of my face with the back of his hand…

That's when I realize that I'm crying.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: I don't have the ability t'make people happy. My very existence brings those close t'me misfortune.

He mutters these few words.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: I ruin bonds and the people I should be trustin'.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: That must be 'cause I can't trust 'em, 'cause I keep runnin' away instead.

As he says so, he grasps my hand, pulling me closer.

And hugs me tightly.

Haruka Nanami: Kurosaki… senpai…?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Don't shed tears for me…

He wrings these words out close to my ear.

For a while, we continue to embrace each other in silence.

Eventually—

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Take care… Be strong and live a good life. I know you can.

He pulls back from the hug.

Haruka Nanami: Senpai!

Immediately, when he turns his back to me, I call out to him.

Haruka Nanami: I'll wait for you! I'll wait until you come back!

Ranmaru Kurosaki: …

For an instant, he stops in his tracks.

Without a word, he opens the door and disappears into his apartment.

And the door stays closed.

Chapter End

#UtaPri #All Star #All Star Ranmaru #Ranmaru Kurosaki

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gourmetofglut · 1 year ago

Text

The Mischaracterization of Ferris: A thread analyzing Re: Zero's most misinterpreted and overlooked character.

Note: This is a re-edit of a thread I wrote on Twitter. I recently decided to start using Tumblr a bit more. Since I've also been wanting to back up most of my threads, I figured I might as well move everything here. This is the first re-edit I'll be posting on this site. It was one of my favorites to write, so I hope it's enjoyable!

Side story spoilers for the entire thread. Arc 8 spoilers in the speculation section (will be marked since so many people aren't caught up).

For novel readers of Re: Zero, Ferris stands as one of the most divisive characters in the fandom. Considering his poor utilization in the anime and his role in the story within Arc 3, it's easy to see why.

On one hand, Ferris is one of the most outwardly aggressive characters toward Subaru in Arc 3. He makes no secret of his disdain from the start and consistently throws jabs at him every opportunity he gets. This behavior can certainly leave a negative first impression.

On the other hand, Ferris is quite a fascinating character who serves an important role within the narrative of Arc 3. He doesn't let Subaru off as easy as everyone else, which is exactly what makes seeing him grow respect for Subaru satisfying.

Whichever opinion you hold, that’s mostly irrelevant today. Instead, I will be simply discussing his character and his role in the story, as well as arguing in favor of many of his merits that people overlook.

Ferris's primary role is similar to all the Royals Candidates' knights: serving as a foil for Subaru. I've explained the similarities between Subaru and the other knights before, but to sum it up as quickly as possible all 3 of them represent a version of what Subaru could be.

Reinhard is a version of what Subaru could've been if he were the typical isekai protagonist, Julius is a lot more complicated but he’s essentially what Subaru could've been if he were granted enough power to face his enemies on even ground, and Al is Subaru if he had been just a bit unlucky in where he had been sent; becoming someone who struggles to care and abuses his powers to the fullest.

Ferris is much the same, though it can be argued he parallels Subaru the hardest, except for maybe Al. The resemblance on paper between the two is uncanny. They are both physically weak men who often don't fit traditional gender roles and have the sole desire of helping a woman they love to achieve her dreams of becoming a Royal Candidate, no matter the personal costs to themselves.

To do this, they use an extraordinary power unique to them (in Subaru's case RB, and in Ferris' case his magic that is relative in power to an authority). Their need to rely on others for victory is a source of immense mental turmoil and often leaves them full of self-loathing.

They place immense value in the lives of others, even those who have or will harm them, to the point that they are willing to be harmed to help them. Seeing others casually disregard the lives of others serves as one of the things that anger them the most.

They are both prone to obsessively possessive behavior and have sometimes even directed it towards the one they love. This often leads to them getting in trouble due to their jealousy.

There are more similarities I could point out, but you get the point.

Where am I going with this though? Ferris is clearly a parallel to Subaru, but what does he represent regarding him? Put simply, I believe Ferris is meant to represent what Subaru could've been if his parents were just a bit different.

Parent and Child is one of the most crucial chapters for informing us about just the kind of person Subaru is. Perhaps the most important piece is how it helps us understand just how much of his current personality is a result of his father. Subaru not only looked up to him but actively mimicked him to achieve his goals. The pressure of the surrounding world caused him to default to trying to be his father instead of who he truly was. Subaru's parents weren't perfect. In fact, they were very flawed people. Regardless of this fact though, they are responsible for many of Subaru's positive traits.

The same is true for Ferris and his shitbag of a father. If you were to ask any novel reader what Ferris' defining trait as a character is, they would probably say anger or bitterness.

This isn't surprising, as that's how he typically acts towards everyone except Crusch and Fourier, even when it comes to friends such as Julius.

I would argue, however, that this is merely an act he defaults to when he is stressed or angry, similar to Subaru's mimicry of his own father.

During his bitter moments, such as his cold statement to Subaru as he leaves Crusch's mansion in Arc 4, Ferris is merely defaulting to what he has learned to be the best method of dealing with his stress...a method that is eerily similar to how Biehn sometimes acts in EX 1.

Whether Ferris acknowledges it or not, his attitude at his worst moments makes him come off like his father. He can be cruel, sometimes even callous. He shows intense rage when he doesn't get his way and attacks the part of his opponent that is most vulnerable.

This attitude can blind him to the point that he can even hypocritically act racist towards Emilia. Ferris' entire life has been defined by discrimination. In the face of someone he should know has faced many of the same issues, he once again acts almost exactly like his own father.

It was in the middle of a mental breakdown, but that does not excuse him just like it does not excuse Subaru.

Speaking of his parents, it's also notable how their inability to connect with Ferris parallels Naoko and Kenichi's struggles with Subaru.

Ferris' dad is a bombastic, loud man who was (once) well-respected and causes many of Ferris's issues through his actions and Ferris' emulation of him. His fatal flaw in the end was that he could not understand Ferris, similar to how Kenichi could not fully understand Subaru.

Ferris' mom, on the other hand, fully understood the distress he was under but did not have the confidence to interfere or make a change as Ferris wasted away, similar to Naoko's inability to help Subaru when he most needed it.

That's not to say Kenichi or Naoko are even a thousandth as bad as either of those two, but their struggles with their child deeply parallel each other.

Back on track though, I want to highlight a bit more of Ferris' parallels with his father using perhaps the most damning example.

This specific scene is from "The Saga of the Great Crusch-sama Begins." When faced with his mother, whom he hates so much, he attempts to stab her in the chest. Crusch gets caught in the crossfire causing Felix to freak out and unlock his water magic to save her.

What can at first be written off as just a unique origin for Ferris' water magic gets recontextualized hard in EX 1, where it's revealed his father killed his mother in the exact same method.

It's such an eerie similarity and something that I feel gets overlooked too often when discussing Ferris.

As shown in scenes like the one above, Ferris often projects this image of hatred, bitterness, and malice. It's easy to write that off as just the kind of person he is as so many often do...

...but there's obviously more to it than this. There is far more to Ferris than his mimicry of his father.

Ferris doesn't allow himself to be vulnerable very often in the story. Only when he is with Fourier and Crusch, as well as when he is in the most intense moments of crisis, does he show who he actually is. Stress is the best test of character after all.

The best example to me? His confrontation with the father he so often emulates.

If Ferris was actually as vindictive as he so often outwardly acts, how would you expect him to react to the death of a man he hated so much?

Wouldn't he taunt him? Wouldn't he make his last moments a living hell? Wouldn't he crow in pleasure at his agony? Would you be able to even blame Ferris if he made Biehn's last moments hell?

You would expect that...but that's not how he reacts. At that moment, watching as the man who tortured him so much dies an awful death, he just shows sadness. He thinks about the possibility that they could've just worked things out. He just wishes that things could be different.

Despite everything his father had done to him, despite all the rage at the world Ferris projects, the moment he is put into a scenario he likely dreamed of he can't help but feel pity that this was the only route he could take. He never wanted to hurt even Biehn of all people.

And this, I believe, is Ferris's actual defining trait underneath his persona of cynicism and bitterness: kindness and a greater love for life than perhaps anyone else in the series.

Ferris's power, as Fourier once said, is the kindest in the world. At his core, Ferris is just as kind as his power.

Think about it. Despite Ferris's words, what is the thing that upsets him most?

People who waste their lives. Whether it be Subaru, Fourier, a random Vollachian guard, or even Witch Cultists...Ferris can't bring himself to watch life be thrown away. It just hurts him, regardless of how horrible the person is.

Just like Subaru, Ferris wants to help everyone, even if it costs him so much. The pain that he feels when he is unable to do so is immeasurable, as Subaru himself states in Volume 8. He is struggling with the same realization as Subaru: saving some people is impossible.

So where will this lead? What does this have to do with the themes of the story? Well, to answer that, I’ll have to take a little diversion to talk about one of the more…difficult topics involving Ferris.

Ferris and his relationship with gender is something that I feel a lot of the fanbase is really fucking weird about. Even ignoring the pretty deep-rooted transphobia in a lot of discussions involving him (he isn't trans, but he is heavily trans-coded and there really shouldn't be so much of an issue in letting people read into that), there's a feverish desire to deny that his status as a person not conforming to gender norms matters at all. All too often, people reduce it to just a fetish or something to make jokes about.

The reason this is such a bafflingly stupid take though is because of how blatant the importance is to anyone who has read EX 1. Even Tappei himself has stated that many of the things he wants to do with Ferris could not be done without this aspect of his character.

Ferris's non-conformance is part of a promise made with Crusch. Ferris took on her femininity while Crusch took on his masculinity. It's a promise between the two that proves their devotion to one another. It's the ultimate symbol of their affection for one another.

In Aganau IF Ferris dresses and acts more masculine, precisely because his connection to Crusch no longer exists.

I'd also argue it's why he continues to dress as he does even when Crusch no longer has her memories, desperately holding onto the literal symbol of the bond between them.

However, unlike Crusch who seems to love who she is both when taking on more masculine and feminine traits, finding a balance between them; Ferris can't do the same. He sees it merely as a means to show his devotion rather than something he does for himself.

He constantly expresses that it is all for Crusch and Crusch alone. If anything he seems to resent his inability to fulfill any kind of masculine role, as shown once again in his conversation with Biehn in EX 1.

When pushed to finally unleash all his true feelings to Biehn, what does he bring up as the main reason for his resentment? His abuse? His coldness? His murder of his mother? Any of the innumerable unforgivable things Biehn has done to him?

No. Ferris points at his body. He anguishes over his skinny arms, his inability to wield a sword, his lack of muscle, and his lack of fighting prowess. He hates his lack of masculine features and how he's unable to live up to his idea of what Crusch's knight should be.

He literally sees his masculinity as something stolen from him by his father; leaving him so empty that he needed something else to fill that void.

Crusch gave him something to fill that void. Crusch gave him a way to live. Crusch filled his soul...but he still resents what he "has" to be.

Now does that mean he resents Crusch? No, of course not. But he does resent that this is the only thing he can do for her; the only person he can be. Deep down, he doesn't seem to want to be the way he is, and instead of trying to change that he gives in to despair.

He's stuck in that hatred, in that desire to meet Crusch's expectations, and in that moment where a starving child begged to be released and was finally brought into the light. In many ways, he acts like a child.

This is quite literally represented in him preventing himself from going through puberty; a symbol in many stories of transitioning from childhood to adulthood. He sees his current form as a shackle whether he realizes it or not.

Now does that mean that Ferris should disregard his femininity entirely? Throwing away the representation of his love for Crusch and something that has defined him for so long seems as self-destructive as staying stuck. What's the solution? Where is his arc going?

Well, before that, I want to cover one last thing before I have to delve into Arc 8 spoilers. There's a bit of a side tangent I want to go on.

With everything I've been able to point out up to here, it's clear that Ferris is a remarkably complex character. There's so much to read into and talk about.

So why is he so hated?

He's so similar to Subaru, possibly the most popular character in the novel fandom. Despite all the claims of him being the worst and me highlighting his character's flaws, he hasn't done anything more morally dubious than the vast majority of characters in this series, even when he was pushed to the edge. This is especially true when compared to some of the most popular characters like Subaru or Roswaal. Hell, characters even more directly belligerent than Ferris like Priscilla don't get half the hate (though Priscilla's perception has...its own issues).

Why does he get disregarded so often? Why is he often treated as shallow fetish fuel? Why is he just reduced to being an asshole in every discussion that involves him?

Well, I have a few I can point out.

The first is, most obviously, misinformation. A large portion of the novel reader base has not read Arcs 1-4 in the LN and has very warped views of some of the characters in that section of the story. Ferris is just the most blatant example.

I can't count the number of times I've heard people just blatantly lie about or exaggerate what Ferris did in Arc 3. From the "mana bomb" that has LITERALLY no basis in the text to the "brainwashing" scene treated as a comedy bit that is exaggerated to hell, people go out of their way to interpret him in the worst light possible.

Many of the people who haven't read those sections then see Ferris's ribbing of Subaru in Arc 5 and then run with those pieces of misinformation; spreading it to the point that many believe some blatant lies to be fact.

The second is simply that a lot of people in the fandom don't read the side stories. I don't particularly blame a lot of these people, as there is a lot to get through, but there are a lot of people who take advantage of this for...certain reasons.

This leads to the third point...shipping. Ferris suffers from "Die for our ship" syndrome (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DieForOurShip…). A lot of people like Crusch x Subaru and Crusch loves Ferris so that ends up being more than enough for some people to hate him.

That's not representative of even close to every Crusch x Subaru shipper, of course, it's just a notable trend that it's hard to pretend doesn't exist with some of them.

All of these factors often go hand-in-hand with the final factor: the fandom's immense double standards when it comes to certain characters.

I'm not going to go into deep detail with this as it would distract from the main point of the thread...but you know what I mean if you've interacted with the community for a significant period of time. It also doesn't help that many of the same people in this category tend to be incredibly bigoted.

Ferris isn't the only character subjected to these double standards, as characters like Emilia and Ram often face similar purposeful misinterpretations, but his frequently unfair critiques have affected his reputation negatively perhaps more than any other.

This isn't to say that this is all true for everyone who hates Ferris. There are numerous reasons you may just not be interested in his character.

However, I feel it's dishonest to pretend Ferris isn't often targeted far more than other characters for often lacking reasons.

With that out of the way, I can move on to the last thing I wanted to cover in this thread. I have established a lot here, so I want to speculate about the future.

From this point forward there are unmarked Arc 8 spoilers, so...you can't argue I wasn't careful. I don't blame you at all for leaving now and I thank you for reading my ramblings.

Are you still here? Ok, let's start.

With all of the above established, I want to return to the question of where Ferris' arc will go in the future. My belief? I think it will be something similar to what Pre-Amnesia Crusch has already realized, with Felix’s closest parallel in Subaru being close to doing the same.

Crusch, as I mentioned before, has found balance in the two aspects of her life. Throughout the story, she switches seamlessly between the two without a second thought. She is comfortable and happy with both parts of herself.

Subaru is also on a similar path. He feels most comfortable in embracing his feminine side, idealizing it through Natsumi. All his confidence is channeled into that persona, while the other two aspects of his personality (his main self who has all the self-worth of an abandoned puppy and his child self who is representative of his more masculine traits) are imbalanced.

Arc 8 seems to be going in a direction where he realizes how important all of these aspects of him are. All 3 have flaws. None of them are "complete," just pieces of the coherent whole that is Natsuki Subaru.

I believe a similar thing will happen with Ferris.

He will need to find a balance between Ferris, his feminine side that has defined him for so long, and Felix the masculine identity he craves. He needs to find a role that makes him as happy as Crusch was, accepting who he is while striving to become who he wants to be.

I don't expect that to be easy though. In fact, I think the path to get there will be immensely messy and self-destructive.

The idea of Ferris having a breakdown or lashing out has been well-foreshadowed throughout the story. He has had numerous smaller outbursts and has displayed similar problems to Arc 3 Subaru when pushed to an extreme. There's a large amount of toxicity in him that will rush out, sooner or later. It will likely take similar levels of suffering to force him to get a grip, possibly hurting Crusch in the process.

Who do I believe to be the trigger for this? My best guess is Capella.

It is quite possible Capella freed Sphinx and recreated her arms initially. Why would she do this? Why not? We're seeing firsthand how much of a monster Sphinx can be with the Sacrament of the Immortal King. Why wouldn't someone like Capella want something like that under her control?

Of course, Sphinx is almost certainly dying soon. Capella will need a replacement, and who's the only other potential user of the Sacrament? Ferris.

There's also the idea that Capella may have poisoned the Royal Family and, most importantly, Fourier. If Capella does become the main antagonist for Ferris, that could serve as motivation for him to want her dead regardless of his own reservations about killing.

Adding onto this is the fact that shapeshifting is a power with a long history of being associated with identity issues. Tappei likes making his antagonists strong narrative foils to his protagonists, so it would be interesting to contrast Ferris' identity issues with the potentially strong identity issues of Capella.

Finally, there's a lot of potential for her tragic past to parallel Ferris' past, with many implications that the Royal Family may not exactly have treated Emerada the best. The idea that the Royal Family may have locked her away is not implausible and it could make their connections even stronger.

Whatever that breakdown leads to, I expect Crusch and/or Subaru to be the one who snaps him out of it. This will likely be the catalyst that forces Ferris to find a balance. He'll need to let go of things like his self-blame over being unable to help Fourier, his internalized hatred of his current identity, his idealization of Crusch, and his need to save everyone. Ferris's love will finally allow him to grow and change into a person who is the middle ground between his desires and his true self.

After all, that's what Re: Zero is truly about: love and growth. Almost every character reflects this and, if my interpretation of Ferris is right, he could embody that theme just as much as Subaru himself does.

He could be a shining bastion of what this story is all about.

Of course, this is all just my interpretation and speculation. If you disagree with it, feel free to. I just hope I was able to make you appreciate Ferris a bit more/changed your mind on how much potential his character has.

I wish whoever is reading this a nice day!

#re zero kara hajimeru isekai seikatsu #re zero #arc 8 spoilers #ferris #re:zero #rezero

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waaow · 6 months ago

Text

Chara undertale how I hate you (affectionate). The fandom has endless arguments about your nature and purpose to the story of undertale. I am going to regurgitate information I have stewing in my mind and put down my theory/interpretation.

You are Chara, or rather Chara is the actual player character of Undertale.

I'll start with simply listing out information that points to this:

Chara's fall date is marked as 201X, with the X being a stand-in for the game's release year of 2015 (alternatively, the demo's release year of 2013).

The player names them, and most players will name them after themselves for the first playthrough, this seems to be intended and expected. The demo's manual describes this as naming "your character."

"CHARA" is the default name, and using it or in the naming screen results in the response "The True Name." The term "True Name" has various definitions that could apply to this situation, but the one that seems the most accurate is "the name of a thing or being that expresses, or is somehow identical with, its true nature." Chara is short for "Character," which would mean Chara's true nature is that of a character of some kind. The variable "Truename" is also used to control when Flowey refers to Frisk as Chara in aborted genocide routes and subsequent neutrals. In Deltarune, the "truename" variable also stores the player name.

Similar to Gaster for Deltarune, when Undertale came out, messages from Flowey were posted by the official Undertale Twitter account. They're directed at "you," which in this case appears to be Chara. Here's the transcription: "Hee hee hee...I've been waiting for you to get here. How long has it been...? How many years...? ... It doesn't matter. I KNEW you would come back. ... So. What do you say? Won't you play with me again? =)"

Chara's name appears on Frisk's stats/save menu and the battle screen. In Deltarune, we see something similar, but it only occurs on Kris' save file with the player name.

Throughout the game, you will occasionally see some of Chara's memories. This occurs in the intro and when Frisk dies, falls asleep under specific circumstances in Toriel's home in the ruins, or falls into the garbage dump. Something similar happens in Asriel's boss fight, but we know that comes from Asriel himself due to the name of the code and Temmie's FAQ describing it as Asriel regaining his memories.

Here's some quotes from Flowey/Asriel describing his motivations:

"If you leave the underground satisfied, you'll "win" the game. If you "win," you won't want to "play" with me anymore. [...] But this game between us will NEVER end."

"I just want to reset everything. All your progress... Everyone's memories. I'll bring them all back to zero! Then we can do everything ALL over again."

"Do you know why I'm doing this...? Why I keep fighting to keep you around...? I'm doing this... Because you're special, [Name]. You're the only one that understands me. You're the only one who's any fun to play with anymore. I'm not ready for this to end. I'm not ready for you to leave. I'm not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again..."

Asriel's motivations are very odd to read from an in-universe perspective. If he broke the barrier, he could still play with Frisk (who he thinks is Chara), but instead, he seems to think that if they leave the Underground satisfied (if the game is won), he'll have to say goodbye to them again. To stop "the game" from ending, he wants to reset it and force you to do it again.

Toby seems to see and portray the relationship between the player character and the player as the two being mostly one and the same entity. This goes all the way back to his Earthbound Halloween Hack days, and you can see it in his statements all of the time, such as here when he refers to Kris' room and family using second person pronouns. But I think you can see it most clearly in Skies Forever Blue's lyrics (which were written by Toby), in which the singer conflates the player character "Two friends started just as neighbors" and the player "When you made my name the same just as the one you love, then I knew. Maybe to your view, I'm just a faintly colored hue, that's alright," and falls in love with them.

Flowey's post pacifist monologue reveals a lot. It is directed at the one being with control of the Save/Load system, which means he became aware of them and their presence at some point. He begs the being in question to not reset and describes it as "the power you were fighting to stop [...] The power that I wanted to use," referring to his plan as Asriel to keep the game going. He begs this being to let Frisk and the monsters live out their lives, separating this being and Frisk. The speech places extra emphasis on the word "you" twice by fully capitalizing it. Flowey addresses the being he's talking to as the name you gave Chara. An extra note to add here is after this scene and before true resetting, the menu theme is replaced with an extremely slowed down version of the regular menu theme (extremely slowed down music is associated with Chara by the genocide route).

Why does Chara share a name with the player? Because they are our character.

Now, to restate the theory: You are Chara, or rather Chara is the actual player character of Undertale. This leads to a nesting doll situation with Frisk.

Why did Chara fall down in a year that is a stand-in date for the game's release? Because that's the first year the player could have played Undertale.

Why is Chara's name on Frisk's save file? Because Chara/you are the being who is actually in control of it.

Why is Chara's name in Frisk's stats? Because you're not directly playing as Frisk, you're playing as Chara, who is then playing as/controlling Frisk. This may also be the real reason we see their memories constantly, it's a POV flashback. We're not even entirely sure Frisk sees these memories. The True Lab phone call could imply they don't, as the Asriel voice used for that also appears in the Waterfall fall down flashback scene.

Why does Asriel not want the barrier to be broken/not want the game to be beaten? Because if the game ends in a satisfying way, you will stop playing it, and so Asriel will have to say goodbye to you (Chara) as you can't exist in Undertale's world when the game is over.

Just from the evidence in neutral/pacifist, this seems to be what Toby was trying to portray. While the genocide route does complicate this, I think it also reinforces it a lot too.

Chara's enhanced presence in the genocide route is first made known when the kill counter in the ruins is exhausted. Dialogue/narration from them then appears in Toriel's house. "Where are the knives?" in the kitchen and "It's me, [Name]" in the mirror.

As a pre-emptive note, I do not believe in NarraChara and think it is not intentional. As such I do not take it into account. To me, there is a general narrator that Chara occasionally speaks over in the genocide route. Chara consistently speaks in a very contrasting tone with regular narration and always in first person. The closest to normal narration they speak is the "Strongly felt [x] left. Shouldn't proceed yet" waterfall geno-abort prevention dialogue, which dodges any pronouns and is still likely Chara describing their own emotions in first person perspective. The genocide route takes many ques from classic video game creepypasta tropes. The player character speaking directly to the player is one of them, and it is purposefully portrayed in contrast to be eerie.

The second line, in particular, begins a running trend throughout the route, Chara claiming ownership of Frisk's body/actions and speaking as if they ARE Frisk. The second case of this is actually during Glad Dummy, which despite using second person pronouns, is clearly directed at the Dummy itself which would make sense if they were facing her personally "Wipe that smile off your face." The third case is when facing Monster Kid, with their encounter text, "In my way." The line "It's me, [Name]" reappears in both the lab camera and Asgore's mirrors. The Hotland Guards have their check text "I see two lovers [...] I couldn't stop laughing." The final notable instance is "(I unlocked the chain)."

That last one, in particular, is by itself actually an indication we are playing as Chara anyway. We are the one who presses interact on the keychain, and Chara unlocks the chain as a result. Is that not playing as Chara?

Chara's monologues are often the subject of the debate of "Who is Chara talking to?" I personally think its pretty clear that they're talking to the player. Nothing they say makes sense in-universe. The idea that they're talking to Frisk also runs into a problem when they suggest doing a different route if you recreate the world again. Frisk, just like Flowey, does not remember True Resets or completed genocide routes (unlike Chara who on the steam release can technically remember things from other installs of Undertale which further ties them and the player together, as Flowey/Asriel's dialogue implies that True Resets erase the memories/deja vu of everyone besides the one preforming them). Also, why would you be talking as if you were equals to a person you've been controlling the entire time? That feels a bit odd to me.

The behavior of out-of-player-control actions starting in Snowdin is vastly different in this route, and the implication is that this is Chara's doing. Rushing through introductions/cutscenes with Sans and Papyrus and refusing to do puzzles. Starting in Waterfall, the surprised encounter icon is replaced with a smile (associated with them by that being their sprite's default expression). Threatening Monster Kid & Flowey (with a "creepy face" associated with them by the True lab tapes). Slashing Sans and Asgore. Mercilessly & Sadistically cutting down Flowey. They are controlling or heavily influencing Frisk.

Chara controlling Frisk and claiming ownership of Frisk's body/action seems very similar to how Toby portrays the relationship between a player character and their player. While Chara is OUR player character, Frisk would basically be Chara's player character. Chara is controlling Frisk and claiming ownership of the actions they make Frisk do, exactly like a player would. They act as both player and player character. Your player character, and the player of Frisk.

To cite a funny quote (from a video) that boils down my arguments surrounding the genocide route quite well: "Because really, the concept of an entity bearing the player name possessing the player avatar to do evil stuff is so blatantly on the nose that you need to do some intense eyesight contortionism to not see what the game is telling you."

They call themself "the demon that comes when you call it's name," a direct reference to the naming screen of the game. They refer to themself as the feeling you get when stats increase. They ask you to "erase this pointless world" (delete Undertale) and "move onto the next" (play another video game). If you choose erase, they call you a great partner and say that you and them will be "together forever." This seems to imply that as you go through the genocide route, they start embodying an aspect of you that relates to grinding in video games, beating them, and erasing them to move onto others. This is another thing that makes them and the player inseperable.

Even with those two lines, I think this interpretation is extremely strong and seems to at least be close to Toby's intent. It also keeps getting reinforced:

Chara's monologues do contain lines that present a problem to this theory/interpretation. The first one is "Since when were you the one in control?" The second one is "But. You and I are not the same, are we?" The second happens directly after Chara calls themself an emotion you feel while leveling up in games (basically saying they're a part of you) and in context refers to how you keep playing through Undertale's genocide route instead of doing anything else. Chara stopped being able to understand you outside of your drive for power and completion they claim to represent, but I don't think this actually necessarily causes any problems for the rest of this theory.

The Important person shirt is in both Undertale and Deltarune's sections on fangamer's merch site, and while it is clearly Kris' shirt in design, its description should also apply to Chara because it's being sold as a shirt for them as well. This description of it from the newsletter is what added the "It will make you look like someone with an important connection to you." The "You" also gets replaced by whatever name you subscribed to the newsletter with.

This Twitter thread by Wandydoodles is where I got the Flowey/Asriel motivations from. Additionally, despite not agreeing with Oblivion theory's conclusions regarding Deltarune, I think its Undertale/Chara analysis is really great and deserves a read.

While the shirt has been used to argue about Kris' DR counterpart, I don't think the description is referring to that topic at all, as it focuses on specifically the connection the shirt's bearers share with the player. The only connection I can think of is that both Chara and Kris are player characters. If you think Frisk is the player character of Undertale and Chara is a third party, they don't really have any connection to the player at all. We also don't name Kris, unlike Chara. I would actually like to see other interpretations of this because I genuinely cannot think of any other possible "important connection" Kris and Chara could both individually share with the player.

---

This Youtube video by Grim Dreamer was a inspiration. While it is primarily a NarraChara debunk video, the creator proposes the same theory this post is about as a part of the analysis.

#Chara #chara undertale #undertale theory #Undertale #frisk

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