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I don't make fanart, or even interact with fandoms a ton, so I wanted to reach out get people's, especially fan artists, opinion on the new Xisumavoid episode. Specifically the art gallery if that was not clear.
The concept seems cool, but I agree that it's an incredibly complicated subject, but that's where my opinions end. I don't know enough to form more.
I know the hermits work with artist a lot, and I have never seen anything bad said about them, but then again, like I said, I don't interact with fandoms a lot either.
So opinions? Excited? Cautious? Mad? I hope I'm not swinging at a hornet nest here, I would just like to geniuely know what those who are more involved in this sort of thing think.
#hermitcraft#please be civil#if not to me then to each other#I will turn off replies and delete this post if need be#i have never seen bad infighting in the hermitcraft space here in tumblr#but like I have seen it in fandoms as a whole so I am cautious#xisumavoid#oh also I probably won't reply to a lot of these If i even get people sharing?#just because I don't think I have anything to add#i'll try to answer questions if I can#and ask questions if I'm confused#but this is mostly for other people to just state what they think
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random thought bc i was making alphyne sims LOL, do you think undyne would ever want to have children? how do you think she’d be as a parent?
While I personally don't quite have a "definite yes" or "definite no" answer for this I personally think that, yeah, possibly! I think it's a question with a lot of layers to it, "is it something the character would want?" "Is it something the character should do?" "How much thought would the character put into it all beforehand?" "How long would the character wait before making that choice?" And first of all I think I should talk about fandom culture's view on kids in general. Why? Because I'm obsessed with validating my opinions like this
It's been said many times by many people now how there are a lot of times where fans end up writing completely out of character for the purpose of placing characters into positions of stereotypical familial structures- ESPECIALLY forcing women into the roles of motherhood where it doesnt fit or make sense for them to the point where I don't think I can really add anything substantial or important to the topic. The pros have very much said what needs to be said.
HOWEVER. I ALSO LIKE TO HAVE FUN WITH FUCKING CHARACTERS. I LIKE TO EXPLORE DIFFERENT TOPICS AND SITUATIONS WITH THEM. I WANT PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO SHAMELESSLY ENJOY THEIR RIGHT TO INTERPRET CHARACTERS WHERE THEY THINK NESCECARY. WHERE THEY THINK FUCKING FUN!!!
So with that said, while demeaning female characters to singular sad and one dimensionsional traits of "Mother" is very clearly to me Not A Good Thing, people should stop acting like it's a fucking sin to imagine the possibility of a character having a child while still retaining all their accurate attributes, because it is a very possible thing that can be and IS done!!!!!
What are my thoughts on Undyne with all this?

Hehhaahehehaa....... strap in.
Where do I BEGIN. How about the inspirations behind the character of undyne herself.

Ok so see this wonderful lass here. That's a sculpture by Chauncey Ives of the mythical water spirit, Undine. Thinking about it, you all probably know this anyway because I do fairly often reblog Undine themed stuff too. Because I'm just like this. But how about the interesting stuff?
The original myth, created by Paracelsus, an alchemist and philosopher born in the 1400s, I believe comes from his work "A Book on Nymphs, Sylphs, Pygmies, and Salamanders, And Kindered Spirits". I think that's what it was called. I'm too tired to talk fully about it specifically and we need to get to the point so have a video of some guy reading it here
youtube
Yay :]
It's pretty much what it says. Paracelsus essentially believed that elemental beings (whom he had adapted and reimagined from ancient or traditional at the time sources) were simply part of the strangeness of God's natural creation and should be studied, as part of appreciation of the Bible etc. And we know ALL ABOUTTTTT utdr and its biblical links/imagery. But back to undine :]
Paracelsus named his takes on the classic concept of elementals: gnomes for earth (YES HE INVENTED THE WORD GNOME!!!!!), sylphs for air (yeah he also invented the word sylph), salamanders for fire (he didn't invent that :[), and of COURSE! UNDINES FOR WATER! He believed undines to be fairly similar to humans, a significant difference being the lack of a soul. Which surely means nothing when talking about Souls Are Important the Video Game. And anyways according to him they were apparently fairly capable of getting a soul through love. Wikipedia also says that Paracelsus says that a child from this love will too have a soul which is nice
Blablabla Wikipedia says undines are like fucking desperate to get a husband or whatever but dudeeeee she can do whatever she fucking wantssssss. I think she can and should be enjoying her life with alphys rather than it being a thing just for a living soul or whatever. They're just happy, no mythology attached
Onto the most iconic interpretation of the myth, 1811s Undine by Friedrich De La Motte Fouque. When you think of the tale of Undine it's almost always that it's this specific story you pull from. Apart from another one I'll briefly touch on later (please hope it's brief). In it, Undine is a woman adopted by a fisherman, who was taken in by the fisherman after his own child died. Hmmmmm wow hmm sort of like how asgore took in undyne after his children died HM BACK ON TOPIC. Personality-wise, Undine is described by Wikipedia (because I don't have the book) as "erratic", and "capricious", which Google dictionary describes as "given to sudden and unaccountable changes of mood or behaviour", which again sounds quite similar to the Undyne we all know and love.
It mentions that when married to Huldbrand (the main guy in the book he's not important tho) she is "kind and gentle" and yeah imo the writing with this IS kinda shit HOWEVER I think if were simply using this as inspiration for undyne I can definitely imagine her *eventually* becoming a calmer and more thoughtful person with A: the presence of someone like alphys to mutually love and understand her for her and B: the absence of having to worry about a war to fight and always sort of being on edge and just being. Like that. And again this would all be a *progressive experience*, rather than in the book where undine literally switches up over night. I do like to consider character and stuff
There's this line from the Wikipedia summary which jumpscared me

I 0% believe this has any significance to deltarune whatsoever however it was so funny out of context I had to add it
Another completely unrelated thing here but there's a fucking guy called "Kuhleborn" and I just. Can homestuck leave me alone. FOR FIVE MINUTES.
Sorry back to cherry picking the story to fit undyne.
Ok so truthfully I don't find anything else from that specific story that I find particularly helpful to undyne, the rest of it's kinda just useless to my point. Re-establishing the fact here that I skipped over a most of the actual significant parts of the story because I specificly want to talk about how I see it parallel to undyne. But that's it really. I just especially wanted to mention this adaptation of the story as it is pretty much the most iconic interpretation of the myth.
That is, interpretations that specifically refer to its source by name. Because by far the most well known media to draw influence from the myth of undine is the iconic Hans Christian Andersen fairytale, "The Little Mermaid". I don't have much to say on how the little mermaid does take much inspiration from undine, other than the way andersen himself interpreted the story. Simply, the fact that Hans Christian Andersen, a man who based this story off of his own feelings at the inability for another man to reciprocate feelings of romance for him, and resonated with the story of undine so much that it was a source of inspiration for the little mermaid itself is so crazy to me. Like. Here is a queer man who read the tale of Undine and understood it so much he wrote his own story inspired by it and made it tie in with his own experiences of homosexuality! Like that's so crazy to me! Because it just makes the undertale character of undyne being sapphic so much better to me! It took the sad story of gay tragedy and took it and made it a story of gay joy!!!!!!! We are all so happys forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok ummmm. I got carried away because we are steering very far away from what this post was originally about. Umm. Point is. Original story was of queer sadness but undertale is now of queer joy + the story of queer joy being based on story where being with this person who you really love and being truly and properly bonded in an undeniable and magical way is enough to give you a soul that will live forever. I think that's somewhere near the point I'm trying to make but at the same time it's not quite the point I was trying to make. And this is absolutely just one interpretation of one relationship and this is by no means in any way supposed to be the end all be all of what ANY relationship should be. I really don't think this is what the definition of love is. However for these characters I feel it can be a huge aspect of it for them
NOW FINALLY MOVING ON TO THE ACTUAL CHARACTER FROM UNDERTALE THANK FUCKING GOODNESS!!!!!
Oh undyne. With some of the implications in game that she lost her family, I very much imagine her being cautious with this sort of situation. Would she be able to handle is for example? Would she know what to do. Given its something she might not even have real first hand experience of, is it something she would even want to risk forcing upon another person? I think she struggles so much with responsibility as it is. She wants nothing more than to protect people and cheesus if she had a kid of her own you know she would be doing every single thing in her power to make sure that kid never has to face what she did. Undyne says at one point in game (if you kill her in neutral i believe) she never told alphys the way she felt because if/when she died in battle, she wouldn't want alphys to deal with that. And again, she really would not want to have a kid if she worries that one day that kid would have to worry about someone they truly care about not being with them anymore
So *would* she want them? I don't really think it would be an overwhelming innate desire or anything like that, but really not against it. Sged need a lot of time beforehand first. Some time to live her life to the fullest, time to make sure it's something she can handle without guilt, time to make sure it's something that does bring her joy. And then yeah, 6 or 7 years minimum I can see it happening. And I think it would be nice
"Now let's talk about susie, can we talk about susie? Please stun (and other readers) I've been dying to talk with you about susie all post, okay?" /ref
I don't really have anything to add I just think alphyne should adopt susie. In every timeline. Undertale deltarune I just think ok. Because she doesn't have a good home life to the point where she's like just Not Safe and hm young couple with no children in her area? Undyne would want to help her soooo bad because she understands just what it feels like to be young and alone not really cared for and she would NEED to fix it. That's defo how it is for undertale at LEAST. Idk entirely with dr if it'd be exactly like that cause we don't know what undynes got going down in dr yet.. but even so that's nothing to stop them
Anways yeah I think you mightve been waiting just a wee bit long for the answer to this ask I uhh.....m.....mmmm. yeah man I... yeah. I really do genuinely hope you enjoyed his tho cause uts currently quarter to 2 in the morning and I'm going on a train & to the aquarium tmrw so my ass CANNOT be waking up at 11 am again. Shits fucked. But when I tell you when I'm locked in on an undyne topic I AM LOCKED IN. IT TOOK A WHILE BUT I FINALLY DID IT. MORE THAN HALF OF THIS WAS WRITTEN WITH NO BREAKS OF CHECKS BUT THATS THE BEAUTY!!!!!! FLY MY SCARAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#been thinking about this driving myself crazy over my answer to this ask for so long#the thing is while I put a lot of thought into it what if everyone else disagrees and ive commited a ''character misinterpretation''™️?#i like the idea of it‚ but I do also want to prove myself as undyne understander no1 and I do not think i would be able to handle myself if#-i lost that#and then theres questions like ''would this be something people want to see?'' ''is there a specific way it should be done?''#''would this be a choice thatd be good FOR the characters to make''#and again. i have put SO much thinking into this. but its in a way where ive thought about it so much that maybe no one would even understa#have i completely thrown away the original character aside in favour of something i think is ''right''?#ive heard it a few times that the concept of fan children arent good because uts just trying to put characters into a#''stereotypical perfect little societally correct family''which ABSOLUTELY makes sense to me#which is why i overthink so much about how i portray it all. so i can get it right#but what if even then im still wrong. or what if im just here thinking way too hard about having fun on the Internet. i wrote a lot here sr#asks#chat you dont want to know how long ive had this ask for........listen i have a lot of thoughts and it takes me a really long time2 share o#the more i like something the more care goes into it. care = time. i think ive had this ask for a year.#can you tell i went off the rails here#unaltered#shot dead#do i even dare main tag#we'll see how the post goes over and when ive given it some thought I'll either tag it or i wont ok goodnight ily all <333333333#!!#undertale#bogos i binted#utdr#undyne#undyne undertale#undyne deltarune#undyne the undying#deltarune#undine
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are you still doing stuff for your human perry au? c:
Not currently but I hope to draw some stuff for it soon, especially with the new season coming out!
#Also I heard there's going to be a human Perry fanzine 👀#So I'll probably try to join that too if I can#PnF#Phineas and Ferb#Human Perry#Shima answers questions
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I may be wrong, but to me it looks like Tob did the most massive eye roll ever known to mankind, he's like 'dude I cannot do this, say something, please, I'm tireddd'. And then Martin straight up refuses to answer the question and elaborate in any shape or form😂 He did not give two fucks, but didn't forget to keep it polite at the same time, 'thanks for your concern tho'😅 (if I got it right) He's like I know you don't give a damn, but thanks for the effort. What a man
#ghost band#the band ghost#ghost#ghost the band#terzo#terzo my beloved#papa iii#papa emeritus iii#nameless ghouls#nameless ghoul omega#tobias forge#martin persner#I may be overanalyzing it#but it looks like they're desperately trying to hold on to the last straw not to snap#the attitude and sass we'll never get to see ever again#mind you they're wearing the damn MASKS and even THROUGH THEM you can sense the sheer irritation#Martin's just like fine honey look I'll answer YOUR questions on MY terms
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thin man irl. you good?
Yeah yeah! Friend I am so good.
#im thinking of maybe selling this as a sticker but uhhhhh I'll have to re-awaken my redbubble 💀 thats all i can think of#little nightmares#thin man#fanart#little nightmares fanart#pickle art#anonymous#pickle blogging#pickle speaks#👍👍👍👍👍#also to actually answer your question? i am feeling a gap in my meds and it is a ride. i am mostly trying not to be an asshole to people !
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Hello! GS is one of my favorite comics right now and a huge inspiration in my own journey of working on a comic. One of the things I find the most impressive is your paneling. Visually each of them are laid out in a way that gives this great flow, it feels really natural to imagine the pages in motion.
Would it be okay to ask what your thought process is on panelling, or just general advice/thoughts on setting up/laying out pages? I hope this makes sense
When I think about page layout, my number one question is what kind of panel I want the page to end with. It shouldn't cut the conversation or motion awkwardly, and ideally it should be something that acts like a hook that makes you want to click to the next page, like here:
It's all about getting from part A to part B. Part A, you're here. Where's the part B? The cutting point, the point where the page ends, where the chapter ends, and ultimately where the story ends.
What kind of story you want to make?
What kind of plot points you want to cover in your chapter?
How much content there is in this one page, does it forward the plot, relationships, or just show a side of someone you want seen?
You can go even smaller. Is this panel important? Does it need a full background? Could these three small panels of characters talking be one big panel? It'll save you time and look nicer.
You'll get it with practice! The old first pages of my comic wasted a lot of space, sometimes they still do. Don't stuff it full but don't get too loose! Don't be afraid of small panels, reserve big ones for big moments, like mother saying goodbye to her kid, or a yellow deer meeting a god. I see many starting comicers use very few panels per page, but this is a LOT of unnecessary work that builds up versus you including more panels per page. It's all about the bubbles. Bubbles lead everything. It's the silent pages that are the hardest.
Again, this is just how I do it. I bet there's tons of different approaches that work for the right people. Hope you find what works the best for you, best of luck with your project!
#technical stuff#ask#skullrotte#answering these technical questions makes me realize I'm absolutely the person who can solve a math problem but can't for the-#life of me write down the steps to explain how i came to the conclusion#I think it happens with my stories too#someone asks why this is happening and how does this work#i know why it happened and why it works but i only ever clown-beamed the knowledge into myself so I'm not prepared to put it in words#so I'm just.. “........ uhh i don't wanna spoonfeed my comic to readers 🕶”#but in truth i'm just so bad at explaining i wouldn't do my original concepts justice#here in ratt comics YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN#jk i'll still try to help if it's flying over everyone's heads#badly
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Hi hello ! I don’t know how comfortable you are with sharing but I was wondering if you could share how you make the custom Minecraft models ;;>w>
hello hi ! I used this mod! https://github.com/tom5454/CustomPlayerModels
here are a couple of resources for learning the tool :)
https://github.com/tom5454/CustomPlayerModels/wiki
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/117GBWxtyNT6L3a69cENXz1Gjx-MplB1UC9l_uISn6oQ/
#ask#feel free to send more asks if you have any specific questions and i'll try to answer what i can!
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Today's the day we finally move to the new house! It's been a rough journey and a very stressful one, but I'm happy to see it's almost over <3 Our cats are... less than pleased with us lol.
Taking a hiatus has been a huge help, and I'm so glad that many of you have stuck around! Doing Poll's Egg Playdate has been very fun and I hope it continues further! I'm not going off of hiatus just yet; I plan to make my grand return on JUNE 1ST, with the (very short) April recap posting on June 8th.
All of this is to say:
If anyone has poll ideas, requests for accessibility, formating changes, or just any ideas, my inbox is wide open!
I can't wait to come back and make polls again ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
#qsmp#not a poll#I'm trying not to make huge plans because it's just me working here#but I really do want to make things better!#maybe I can squeeze something in for pride month when I come back? I don't have any good ideas right now though#I can't think of anything else to say here#but I plan to start stocking up my queue so I have less to worry about in june#I'm hoping we don't get a new egg until then because I won't be able to edit any of those polls#The problem I'm having with nacho is bad enough#I think Nacho will just have to be in the 'other/combo' option#okay I think I'm done just throw questions into my inbox and I'll answer them as best as I can#although if I ignore any its because I don't have a good answer
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Poor Scar, he is actually cursed with creepers.
Is...is the wing damage something that could be fixed if they were in less-hostile territory (without just a respawn)? CAN it be fixed when they eventually make it home? Or is it permanent damage by that point since its so far away? -🎀
mhm! he is so very creeper-cursed!
the wing damage would be easily fixed with an instant respawn, but as we know, that's not an option in hhau. the wings could still fare better, not necessarily healed, just less bad, if scar didn't tuck the injury away and pretended it doesn't exist. if he kept his wings out and took some care of them.
would that be realistic? they were in a cave, hidden away. but scar's focus was on keeping grian calm (which heavily involves not admitting he just almost died permanently), and he also didn't really want to face that damage and pain in his wings. in many ways, keeping them away was easier.
plus, it's not like they had any healing supplies at this point. (if they did, believe me, they'd all go to grian, as there was a real threat grian might actually die without them.) (yep scar was so distraught, he had nothing to offer but he was doing his best.)
if we take an ideal scenario, wings out and healing supplies, the damage could've been mitigated, yes. fixed completely? well, that's a wholly different thing.
can be fixed once they get back on hermitcraft? questionable. (just because me and link still haven't decided jxncbk) maybe with use of a lot of magic. or maybe cub knows a way to help. but either way, there are no simple solutions and no easy answers. the wings will stay tattered even through a respawn, because at that point, it's been about a year. it sets into the code, stays permanent. (kind of like the scars that grian gets in that hostile world—they'll stay forever.)
but! as link said in their post about hhau vex scar, the wings are only half-corporeal, and they mostly function on magic rather than anything else, so in theory he could still manage to use them for gliding, even in their tattered state. (and once i kick myself to put together those remaining mimic au rambles, maybe we'll even get to see that cjhxbnj)
#ange answers#hhau#ribbon anon#<3#so happy to see you curious and asking more questions#also!! you sent an ask to link!#good good#we both love getting asks#we get so excited#divide and conquer and go wild!#also#i know i promised to talk about the mimic's name but i'm so tired#i'll try but no promises i can put it together tonight
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four chapters into inutile and i'm already amazed and baffled by how... dense it is? how many interesting concepts you're pulling out each and every chapter so far, and how well they all seem to work together. how in the hell do you have another thirty chapters of material left. i'm dying to find out.
(if you have anything you can say about your process, without spoiling stuff of course, i'd love to know how you got here.)
well thank you so much!! funny thing you should ask this, i was just polishing up some of chapter 5!! injecting some of that sweet sweet foreshadowing that i forgot to add before
so i don't know if i put this anywhere yet??? but basically how inutile goes, is that there's 10 chapters for every "act" (still in act one!), an intermission in between 1&2 and 2&3, and then the prologue and epilogue! so that's 34 :) act 1 is of course mirabelle's time in the House, act 2 is the rest of precanon stuff with gathering the party, act 3 is the events of the game! and each of those acts has a specific Vibe. once act 2 rolls around it gets more lighthearted for a while before i start doing the big hits again
anyway. that is to say. i take planning very seriously. but i'm not rigid about it?? i'll change stuff last minute to make it make more thematic sense or to be more engaging. i'll cut scenes, i'll rewrite scenes.
ALSO. to the density of worldbuilding or storycrafting or anything. i don't write any question that i'm not prepared to tie up later. and i don't add anything in that doesn't feel like it meshes with the original themes and ideas of isat (but that's only a rule i follow when i'm doing fanfiction specifically)
(also i'm a dm for my dnd crew and i'm a gamedev of my own so like. uhhhhh complex longform story planning is just my normal every day life lol. inutile is a breeze compared to the docs i'm juggling for original stuff honestly. this is how i take a break)
#i hope that's what you were looking for when you asked about process lol#otherwise uhhhh i use scrivener? it's better than microsoft word by a million miles. i also type in comic sans it's a defenseless font#anyway thank you for the question!!! i'm always happy to get em#i'll never spoil fic stuff but i will always try to find something i can answer to#inutilefic
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Would bloodmoon be considered an Eclipse?
VERY INTERESTING YOU SHOULD ASK THAT i'm actually working on a oneshot where Bloodmoon and Eclipse (ruin) talk about this!
No spoilers for now but my moots on discord know the one i mean ;D
#questions and answers#asriel20asi#jester bots and dragons#i do have a snippet i could share but its pretty spoiler heavy jfkgh#as it's pretty much the scene that is the main premise of the fic#i'll try to have it finished soon as i can though!
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your Kon post was sooooo good, like yes the core four are queer platonic, however Kon is hypersexual enough to have made out with (or more) everyone in young justice at least once, yes, including the non-corporal Greta don’t ask me how that worked
I love all of these posts!!! how many of these ask game things do you have in your inbox??
thank you so much!! and i ABSOLUTELY agree with you on hypersexual Kon (truly i just adore characters with grooming/rape trauma like Kon coping through the lense of hypersexuality) and even if YJ is queerplatonic, Kon has made his way through most of them. including Greta. he's creative he'd find a way. probably involving TTK. bc TTK in sex is a thought i have daily. endless potential for using it to basically turn someone's body into a living fleshlight he can manipulate from the inside out- specifically have a TimKonBart idea in my head about that where Kon coaches Bart through sex, since Bart is a speedster with a bonkers refractory period who struggles to feel satisfied, and Tim is caught between them getting used to get Bart off with Kon using TTK to manipulate Tim's body. fun times. fun ideas.
currently, i have one more ask game ask in my inbox (tho always feel free to send more!) that's BruJay focused. though i *do* also have a couple other asks that are just ideas i pan to use as prompts for full fics. just haven't gotten to those yet bc i'm currently busy with packing to move states so. i have *not* had the time to write i wish i had. i will not reveal too much but one involves JayTim fucking during the Titans Tower incident, another is JayTim with animal traits leading to porn, and then another is Tim/Kon/Jon with incest kink stuff. so! i have many things planned, i just need to settle into my new place, however long that takes.
#necrotic answerings#kindly praise#this was so sweet aaaa#i'm about to go to sleep so the brujay ask will be held off until tomorrow#but i will get to it#and i *hope* if the tim/kon/jon fic is short enough i can *possibly* get it done tomorrow too#i'm. mostly done packing. i just have to get my clothes and books in boxes.#i do not have *any* idea how much time i'll reasonably have to write once i move bc#well i'm moving in with my sister to help take care of her baby so yk. baby. sort of more important than fanfic.#but i mean it's just a baby so i figure I'll still have some time#see the real question is not will i have time to write tomorrow#it's will i emotionally be available. i've been crying on and off for days. pls.#i truly will let the ask game go on as long as ppl keep sending them. i do not mind i'm having just as much fun as y'all#tho i might reblog some other ask games just to spice it up a bit#i gotta find some fun ones#still plan to do a prompt list to write ficlets for the drive#3 days in a uhaul with my parents. def won't lose my mind at all no sir.#they will try to kill each other and I'll be the damn witness.#also when i say queerplatonic. i do include fucking.#it's the aromantic in me i think. but queerplatonic couples can fuck as a treat.#i will not elaborate on how that works. i'm just an aro lil guy who thinks sex isn't always about. the sex. and more about. the closeness.#none of my friends agree with this take they think i'm unhinged btw.
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when i suffer enough inconveniences in one day i think i should be allowed to attack something. or blow something up. i think at some point violence should be not only permitted but maybe encouraged. that's my philosophy
#today was not great .i'll be honest (venting below feel free to ignore)#had to send More emails. my favorite burger joint of 3 years closed down permanently and i didn't know until i got there.#nobody showed up to the club meeting today. people Aren't Responding to my Time-Sensitive emails.#accidentally stabbed myself under my fingernail with a pin.#asked 3 different people who Should Know The Answer to a Simple Question the same thing and got a different answer every time#and i have to study for a physics exam on thursday that i'm not confident for and have struggled every step of the way with#2 weeks until a huge event i've been planning for a year. weighing on my mind during all this#i just got back from spring break man. and i'm already prepared to just bury myself in the ground#vent#clamtalk#sorries to all the people who came for bug game posting. i try not to vent on here often. but what can u do
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If I don't post anything sims-related in a minute please know I'm not going anywhere and I will have original content soon, I'm just trying to fight my ADHD demons and all the distractions it loves (such as playing TS4 and mindless timeline scrolling) so I can make progress on the book I've been trying to write for a little over a year now <3 <3
#I will finish and publish this story I will finish and publish this story I will finish and publ-#When I die I want to say I wrote my silly stories and was an author. Idek if I'll be a good author I just want to say I did my best#so I need to focus and I need to write and I need to tell the decision paralysis and ADHD-induced unhelpful habits#to fuck off for a bit lol. Just for a lil bit so I can get my shit done!!!!#I'm still in storyboarding/outline-ish mode. The asking big questions and answering them to shape the narrative stage#but I love this story and I love these characters and I want to tell it so bad. I want to see my name on a physical book on a physical shel#in a physical store. Idk it's my dream and it feels a bit raw like... being vulnerable about it here. Almost silly ughhhh so please ignore#me if this is weird but anyway I wanted to say I might just be reblogging for a while! I want to try and not fall into old habits#of giving up in favor of chasing the serotonin when things get to the nitty gritty. I want to see this through I want to tell this story#anyway that's all ugh vulnerability makes me ill please ignore me#Hugs xxxxxxx#personal#update#gif warning
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i love the combative way yaz asks questions after s12. i dont think she does it so much in s12 but from halloween apocalypse on (im thinking of "so you know them, these sea devils?" or "yeah, what does quantum extraction mean?" rn but im sure there are more) her questions always feel half challenge half like shes already gearing up for a fight
#combined with graham's 'shes still not explaining anything then?' in potd or like half of halloween apocalypse itself#('questions? no? see you later' & 'i feel like some of this might be my fault' & 'yeah we got away!' &#'i dont always tell you anything' & 'since ryan and graham left' etc etc)#you get a really clear picture of their duo trips#big finishhhhhhhhhhh let me write their duo adventureeessssssssssss#and ive said this before but i'll say it again bc ive been writing them so im thinking abt them but ithink 14 would be super sensitive to i#like takes a lot of care to not brush yaz off even in distraction or smth else fairly innocent#bc i think 13 in the end was purposefully avoiding answering questions#like if she answers this innocuous question then maybe yaz will ask another and another and then shes gonna feel empowered to#ask the Difficult Ones#so i think she just tried to avoid questions in general#and so 14 trying to make up for it (and for how unable yaz is left to tolerate any of the doctors unanswered questions anymore too)#just answers Everything. Promptly#yaz would of course figure out that she can use this for evil bc she can interrupt any conversation the doctor is having with anyone by jus#going 'what are we having for dinner' or smth#and she 100% Would use it for evil if the doctor is having conversations she doesnt like
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If I had to choose between cutting off my hand and redoing grad school apps, I'd seriously consider the hand. Be gentle with yourself, it's a fucking slog. What kind of program are you looking into?
Thank you for the reminder to be gentle. This shit has been stressful, and having for various reasons only about a month and a half to actually do focused work on applying has SUCKED. Not looking forward to potentially having to do this again in the future (it's complicated but I'll explain why in a sec), but I am SO looking forward to two weeks from now when these applications are in and it's out of my hands, as much as the waiting game itself sucks in its own way.
As for programs, I don't want to get too specific. I was a double major in undergrad, and I'm not exaggerating when I say I've literally never met anyone else with those two specific majors. (Ftr one is a STEM field and the other in the humanities.) I want to keep studying both in some capacity in the future, but to make a long story short I'm stuck in a position where I have to hold off on applying to the program in the humanities for now.
As annoyed as I am about the 'long story' part of that, I'm totally fine with prioritizing the program in STEM for now. Hell, in some ways that's a good thing given the limited amount of time I have to work on applications. But at the same time, I've greatly limited the number of schools I'm applying to so I can focus on creating well-tailored applications for their specific programs and faculty, and that means each potential rejection would leave me with a far smaller share of options. It's a bit of a risk, but damn it I'm trying my best to show how strong of a student I've been and that I would work well with their specific people. Hopefully things work out in the end.
I hope your own efforts have paid off too, wherever life has taken you.
#it's hitting me now too how badly my undergrad school prepared me for this process#besides a couple of conversations with professors about grad school and jokes about selling your soul to unethical corporations-#- we didn't get told SHIT#i've said it before and i'll say it again but do not go to a rich kid school if you are not a rich kid (this is coming from a non-rich kid)#or at the very least be prepared for people to assume you know the ins and outs of networking and stuff you've never been taught about#i'm not joking when i say the school i went to brags about how many students get job placements soon after graduation#but has next to no actual resources to help students continue their education (esp for minority students) (like myself)#it's so frustrating seeing peers of mine get cushy jobs based on who they know when i'm out here busting my ass bc idk the right people#and god forbid you want to learn more but don't have similar connections in academia! it sucks!#i know my applications' success heavily relies upon letters i'm not allowed to read written for me by professors who can vouch for me#because their names might mean something to someone who might otherwise disregard me despite how ridiculously experienced i am#knowing you're good enough but might get rejected for something that goes beyond you has to be one of the worst feelings#i already have the sneaking suspicion that i won't get accepted to one of my top three schools based on that#and i haven't even submitted my app for them yet#there's so much i hate about higher ed but dammit i still want to learn. that might be the worst part of it all.#i want to keep learning but at the end of the day it's not about what i want. it's what an institution wants FOR me.#but that will not stop me from trying or from fighting for what i want. at least i have that.#anyway sorry for the long-ass ramble and for the delay but hopefully that answers your question sufficiently enough#and hopefully what i've said is useful to someone somewhere who might be in a weird spot like this#ask#answered#anon
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