#i'm moving in a while (abt six months)

[sapphosweirdkid]

I forget some of you are adults tbh. Not saying adults can't enjoy fandom but it's just funny that I'm going to Maths class and doing chores and y'all are legally drinking and living alone lol.

[tiktaalic]

ldpdl

ugh

ldpdl reblogged ldpdl

ive talked abt this before but i had a rlyyyyyyy bad breakup six months ago n i moved internationally to get away from him and it was really awful the first few months i had no friends and i couldnt speak the language but a few months in i met this guy n yeah we're sleeping togethr but he's p clingy even tho i've been rly clear about how i like just broke an engagement and that's impacting the way i'm approaching relationships and focusing on myself but he still really obviously wants to get serious about us like introducing ourselves as a couple and moving in together and i just dont want to do that... like i literally spend my friday nights writing ten page letters to my fiance about how much i miss him and wish he was here and listening to his old voicemails and crying i cant DO that if i move in with a new guy. but its complicated bc he's mega wealthy and is helping me network in my field and buys me things... and to top it off he used to date my ex before me which doesnt even matter bc i know my ex loved me like LOVED me loved me didnt think about this guy at all while we were together its just another thing where im like -_-

#AND I DIDNT GET INTO THE GRAD PROGRAM I APPLIED TOOOOOOOOOO THEY SAID MY BACKGROUND AND APPLICATION LACKS FOCUS

[daughterofthemuse]

Thoughts on 'Wrath of the Triple Goddess'

General Thoughts

This book was a lot of fun.

Nope was the cutest ever

Hecate's house is WILD. The knockers? The aesthetic choices? The BATHROOMS? She 1000% committed to the bit

Some ppl have said that the recent Riordanverse books have had themes. (Roughly speaking,) 'The Sun and the Star' was about accepting yourself and moving through trauma, and 'Chalice of the Gods' was about growing up, aging and embracing the changes that come with it (kinda ironic for focusing on a character who is known for turning 17 every year). I thought 'Wrath of the Triple Goddess' could have been about grief and family, but it's actually abt choices and regrets. Bc ofc the book abt Ἑκάτη (Hecate), the goddess of crossroads, would be abt choices.

Fanart I want to see

The Halloween costumes Percy, Grove & Annabeth wore

Human!Grover, Owl-a-beth & Octo-Percy

The Campers' Halloween costumes

Page-by-page notes that I took (with quotes)

I'm always careful not to look at my mom's screen while she's writing, because a) I know it makes her nervous, b) the floating words make me queasy, and c) I can't help wondering if she's writing a character based on me. Maybe that sounds self-centered, but the idea of anybody writing a book about me makes me super paranoid. (pg 16)

Bud, I'm sorry, but it's a decade and a half too late for that

She knew exactly what I was saying, even if Dave and Hana didn't. "She can't do all your homework for you, dude," Hana said. "Yeah, she has to do our homework," Dave said. "Ugh, you two," Annabeth said, but she gave them a smile. "Okay, Jackson, I can spare you a few minutes, Come on." She hauled me up and led me out of the library, Paul and Hana whispering behind our backs, (pg 24)

Oh look, surprise name change! (/j)

Then his eyes drifted up to the gargoyles on the roof. "Oh, wow." "I know, spooky," Annabeth agreed. Grover scratched his goatee. "I was going to say the one on the left looks like my Aunt Helena. But guess that's the same thing." (pg 32)

Grover's Aunt Helena is probably a harpy / nasty wind Spirit

I'd barely been able to master numbers and colors in Spanish, even with my friend Leo Valdez as a tutor. (pg 35)

Rick is making himself plotholes. Percy is being tutored in Spanish by the missing Leo. It's only Chapter 4!

We had some trouble on Third Avenue when Hecuba decided attack a Lil Zeus Greek food cart, but I managed to pull her off before she killed the cook or devoured his meat supply. Dude wasn't too happy. He yelled something in Greek at me--maybe Please control your rhinoceros--but I couldn't be too mad at Hecuba. For one thing, the food smelled good. For another, anything labeled Zeus sent me into attack mode, too. (pg 64)

Lil Zeus Greek food cart? a) Percy should have understood more of the Greek dude's language, unless he did actually think the hellhound was a rhino and b) fair on attacking it

I took out Riptide. With the tip of the blade, I etched a message on the sidewalk: Went to Gramercy. That was another trick I'd only learned in the last month. One day when I was bored, sitting on a sidewalk while my mom shopped for clothes for her first author signing, I discovered that Riptide could sketch glowing lines on asphalt that no regular mortals could see. The markings lasted about three hours before fading away--less if it rained. It made me wonder why I'd never seen Celestial bronze graffiti around from other demigods. (pg 68)

Riptide can write on the pavement?

He couldn��t have been more than six weeks old. "You want another treat?" I asked him. "Nope!" he barked, which apparently meant Yes, please, I'll take the whole bag. I couldn't help but smile. "Is that your name? Nope?" He tilted his head, maybe thinking about it. "Nope!" "Okay, then that's what I'll call you." He crawled right into my lap. He was heavy--like fifty pounds--and floppy, with ridiculously oversize paws that told me he was going to be a rhino-size hellhound someday. I scratched behind his ears and kept feeding him treats, letting him get used to the sound of my voice. (pg 87)

Percy’s getting a Hellhound puppy that can say nope????

The man who was eating a late breakfast at Dr. Sharma's desk was definitely not Dr. Sharma. His dark hair and beard were flecked with gray. He wore a rumpled tweed jacket, tie, and dress shirt, with a flannel blanket over his lap. His old-fashioned wheel-chair had hand-pushed steel wheels and well-worn black leather armrests. He held a half-eaten bagel in one hand and a steaming cup of tea in other. I registered all these details with perfect clarity, but somehow, I still did not recognize him. (pg 99)

WHAT IS CHIRON DOING AT PERCY’S SCHOOL?

"The Adventures of Mom, Chew Toy, and Alley Boy," Annabeth mused. (pg 115)

pffft! And look, an Oxford comma!

My friend Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, also had the ability. He'd used it once to take me Christmas shopping in Florence. (Long story.) (pg 133)

Nico took Percy Christmas shopping in Florence? I need this story.

“Okay,” I said. “Maybe pack isn’t the right word. I don’t know why Hecate turned you into a hellhound. Gods are weird. I have a friend whose dad once turned her into a tree. Maybe Hecate saved you the only way she knew how. It’s not perfect, but it’s still love.” Hecuba gazed at the ocean—a view she’d probably seen thousands of times when she was a mortal. She’d watched the Greek ships anchor off that coast, ready for war. She’d watched her children die in battle on that rocky beach before the walls of her doomed city. (pg 137)

Is this book abt grief & family?

I frowned. "I didn't figure you for a nightclub guy." "Are you kidding? I can hoof-boogie with the best of them! I've still got that wedding-dress outfit from the Sea of Monsters, too." He sighed. "Maybe someday." (pg 142)

Grover still has his wedding dress?

Pracktical forcery and Potionf for Beginnyng Uferf (pg 144)

Oh look, it's that old-timey font where 'S' is really tall and skinny and kinda looks like an 'f'!

Under this collection was a brass plaque engraved with WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN. I lifted the top of the display case. I picked up a pair of blue-framed glasses that were snapped in half at the bridge. They were the same ones I'd seen in my vision of the child pedaling away from the manse in terror. On the right stem, the initials SEJ were monogrammed in gold. I felt like I had shadow-traveled into a block of ice. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. SEJ. I knew those initials. (pg 145)

SEJ, Sally's initials?

I didn't realize that when he'd said ground himself, he'd meant literally cover himself with the ground. He sat down in a flower bed and started to heap leaves and dirt over his legs. (pg 147) ... Two more tunneled through the leaves and skittered up Grover's legs. Within a minute, there were dozens, maybe hundreds. Honestly, I had no idea. I never had to count squirrels in numbers that high before Grover's torso disappeared under a tidal wave of chittering fur and twitching bushy tails. Somewhere in the mix of brown and gray, I spotted one very large black rat, who quickly disappeared in the sea of its squirrely comrades. (pg 148)

This grounding thing is weird... Could it be a Pan thing?

As he nibbled his cake, I said, "Okay. Tell me." He shrugged listlessly. "It's just... grounding myself like that? It's pretty powerful magic. I can only do it because I'm a Cloven Elder." Grover was too modest. He rarely talked about it, but after the Battle of Manhattan, he'd been promoted to the council of the three most important satyrs in the world, which in my mind made him an elite boss. "It's dangerous?" I guessed. "Oh... nothing I'd worry about," he said. "Not a big deal. It's just when I do that, when I connect with nature on that level, there's always a small chance..." "Yes?" He nibbled more cake. "That I might dissolve into nothing." (pg 151)

Yep, it's a Pan thing. And oh, the grounding thing is like Nico at the end of BoO... okay. This is great /s

And Grover seemed to enjoy being called Cloven Elder. My thoughts started rambling, as they do. I wondered if I should call him CE for short. Did that mean before he became a Cloven Elder he was Grover BCE? This is how my mind works. Welcome to the chaos. (pg 156)

Grover BCE, YES!

The name of the place glittered in pearly white over the door: AEAEA. I guess they'd spent all their money on the storefront decorations and hadn't been able to afford any consonants for their sign. "What is it?" Grover asked. "Not sure," I said. "The name of that place mean anything to you?" Grover tried to pronounce it. "It looks like something Hephaestus might scream when he drops a hammer on his foot." (pg 158)

Αἰαία (Aeaea)? Κίρκη (Circe)????

"My name is Filomena," she said, her jaw clenched. "Aeaea was my home island. But you don't even remember, do you?" (pg 161)

Dude doesn't remember the last time someone recognized him and accused him of destroying their home, does he?

A noxious purple fog started to rise around us. I recovered my senses, yelled, "Aeaea!" (because it was on my mind) and blasted the potion fog right back at Filomena. "Ack!" she complained, now speckled head to toe in magical whatever-it-was. "How dare you!" (pg 162)

Poison manipulation again????

"I take it you didn’t recognize the naiads?" "From where?" Grover asked. "You weren't with us," Annabeth told him. "You were stuck in a Cyclops's cave at the time." Grover shivered. "The Sea of Monsters." "Yep. The naiads are from the island of Aeaea." I rubbed my sore neck. "I think I would've remembered a name like Aeaea." Annabeth considered that. "Actually, you're right. I don't thínk anyone called it that when we were there. It's another name for Circe's Island." (pg 184) ... "Circe had four main handmaidens," Annabeth said. "The Aeaean nymphs. They were responsible for preparing her potions. I guess when the pirates burned down C.C.'s Spa--" "The naiads came to Manhattan," Grover finished. "And set up competing perfume shops. As one does." (pg 185)

I knew they were from Αἰαία! And Lore drop!

Whenever Annabeth joined the chat, the odds of us doing something idiotic went way down. The odds were never zero, mind you, because I was still in the mix. (pg 186)

"Annabeth joined the chat..." Bro, why. Why did you use that piece of slang?

With the help of one of the costume people, Annabeth had done her hair and makeup like it had been on Circe's Island. She looked incredible, but you don't have to take my word for it. The costume person's exact reaction was "You look incredible." Then she turned to Grover and me and said "Now, these two are are a challenge." We were dressed as Annabeth's servants/bodyguards/loyal gladiators? I'm not even sure, but we weren't rocking the look very well. Grover wore a gladiator's breastplate and a leather kilt sort of of thing, with a big plastic sword at his side. I got dressed like a retiarius--one of those Colosseum fighters with the weighted nets and the tridents. The trident seemed a little on the nose for me, but it wasn't my biggest complaint. My "armor" was basically an oversize loincloth with a thick leather belt, sandals, and a weird shield-sleeve thing on my left arm that reminded me of a pizza pan. This meant I would basically be walking around Manhattan in late October in my underwear. Annabeth added a big helmet with a faceplate so nobody would recognize me unless they literally got up in my grill. (pg 187)

I need art of these costumes

23. We Find the Lair of Evil Perfume

Annabeth is doing a ton of amazing work this chapter!

Annabeth responded, "WHOOOO!" (pg 206)

Annabeth, daughter of the Owl Goddess, hooted. It only took her 24 books and 5 years

I raised my hands--except I didn't have hands anymore. Where my arms used to be were eight thick purple tentacles lined with pink suction cups. One tentacle was curled around Riptide. I was so shocked I loosened my hold, letting the blade drop. "Oh.." I wanted to throw up. No offense to octopuses. I've had some great conversations with octopuses. But I didn't want to have their tentacles. My new appendages felt wet and slimy. Powerful muscles rippled under the skin. The suckers clasped and unclasped, smelling the air, searching for something to grip. "This is bad." (pg 207)

Well octo-Percy is... interesting

He was staring down at his legs and weeping. Where his furry goat hindquarters had been, there was bare skin, forward-articulating knees, and instead of hooves... feet. Five-toed feet not too different from mine. "Human," he sniffled. "That's the worst kind of beast!" (pg 207 & 208)

Oh, poor Grover. Also... very interesting "humans are the worst kind of beast"

Annabeth turned her head 180 degrees and shrieked at the nymph. "AWK!" (pg 208)

180-degree head turn from Annabeth!

Grover shuffed awkwardly toward Daedra. "How do you walk on these? They're so tender! Ouch. Ouch. Ouch." (pg 209)

We don't normally walk barefoot. And I want art of human!Grover

I saw a young woman in tattered brown robes. She carried a leather pack over one shoulder, loaded with medicinal plants, vials, salves, and scrolls. It was her life's work--all she could salvage when the Colossians chased her out of their city. She struggled up a steep mountain path, occasionally stopping to grip her stomach, crying out in pain. Tears streaked her face, smearing the kohl around her eyes so she appeared to have a black mask. (pg 215)

Gale Lore drop? Poor Gale!

I'd been wrong about Hecate. She hadn't turned Gale into a polecat out of jealousy. The reason was worse. She'd empathized. She'd lacked faith that Gale could survive on her magical talents alone. Hecate of all people knew how the world saw witches. She'd pitied Gale, admired her, and yes, maybe even feared her a little, but she could not imagine a mere human succeeding when she, a goddess, had failed. So Gale had to cease being human. (pg 218)

Poor Hecate too. Dam patriarchy & fear of the unknown

And no way did I want to be around when orange goo started dripping through Hades's palace ceiling. I'd met his plumbers. They tended to solve all his problems with fery whips. (pg 219)

The Kindly Ones aren't plumbers, Percy

I'll say it again: thank the gods for Halloween. I doubt any amount of Mist could have hidden Owl-a-beth and Octo-Percy from the curious eyes of mortals as we fled, especially since my tentacles kept slapping passers by for no particular reason. Because it was Halloween, though, most people would think, Wow, those costumes are incredible, and that third guy is fully human! Amazing! (pg 222)

Yeah, Halloween does a lot for hiding mythical stuff. Cuts both ways tho

Annabeth gagged. Her beak opened wide. Her owl eyes got even larger. Her crown feathers stood on end like blades. She brought her hands to her throat—the universal sign for choking. I panicked. Would the Heimlich maneuver work on a half human, half raptor? I only had octopus tentacles, but I hustled behind her and did my best to find her sternum the way my fourth-grade health teacher had taught us. I thrust upward into her diaphragm. COUGH! An owl pellet the size of a melon shot from her throat and bounced off the opposite wall. She doubled over, breathing heavily. When she straightened again, she was normal Annabeth—human face, human hair with the scent of her usual apple shampoo. (pg 225)

Coughing that up must've been painful. And I'm pretty sure the Heimlich maneuver isn't recommended anymore

Grover seemed to follow my thoughts. “Tomorrow is Halloween. There’s no way three people can fix this mansion before Hecate gets back. (pg 230)

Just ask your friends to help! They're coming for the party, just ask them to arrive early too

I nodded. “I don’t know what happened exactly, but if we’re going to try rebuilding this place with the help of ghosts, then we need to figure it out. Which means I need to talk to SEJ. Sally Estelle Jackson.” (pg 238)

His mum? Or an ancestor? I'm thinking his mum, but the timing makes me think maybe an ancestor

She smiled wistfully, the way she does when she looks at old photographs. “I haven’t since that day. My family made me wear them because I was seeing things…differently.” “Through the Mist.” She’d always been able to do that. Some rare mortals could, but I’d never considered how hard that would’ve been for her as a kid. “They were just trying to help,” she said. “They were worried. When other kids saw a mounted police officer riding down the street, I saw a pegasus. That kind of thing. We used to live near Gramercy Park West. One day, when I was riding my bike down the street, I saw that mansion, shifting and blending into the buildings around it. Those tombstone walls.” (pg 244)

Interesting... what ppl think of clear-sighted ppl

She swallowed. “Hecate ambushed me! She showed up on Olympus and…well, she asked me what I thought of you. I was shocked! She hadn’t spoken to me since 1914! I—I was desperate to impress her. And foolishly… I said you were quite competent.” “Thanks?” “I panicked! And now, if you fail, that means I failed. Oh, she won’t forgive me a second time.” “I still don’t—Wait.” I’m a little slow on the uptake. But when a puzzle finally starts coming together, I can usually finish it without having to bash too many of the pieces into place. “A second time,” I said. “Nineteen fourteen. That’s the last year Hecate ran her magic school. You were part of that?” (pg 247) She shrugged listlessly. “War. It’s always a war. Our students started taking sides, arguing with one another. It escalated from name-calling to violence to potion-flinging.” “Potion-flinging is bad.” (pg 248)

Ofc WW1 made the school close, and poor Εὐδώρη (Eudora)

I took one more look around the shattered great room. I felt like I was forgetting something important. (pg 258)

Locking the door, I'm pretty sure

Grover and I exchanged a panicked look. If Annabeth was admitting she’d made a mistake, we were in serious trouble. All heroes had fatal flaws. Annabeth’s was pride. She always aimed as high as possible, confident she could go even higher. Most of the time, she was right. But calling for help after one block? The situation had to be desperate for her to swallow her pride like that. Then I remembered why fatal flaws were called fatal. We couldn’t let her get worn-out so soon. She was the only one who could direct the ghosts to rebuild the house properly. “Let me take the torches,” I said. (pg 267)

Annabeth’s fatal flaw is pride, yours is loyalty, Percy. You taking them could go just as badly, with you not passing them to anyone else

My last shot was a miss. Black spots danced in my eyes. I crumpled to my knees, and the torch fell out of my hand. (pg 276)

Oh schist

I knew I’d forgotten something important—again. We’d invited our friends to a Halloween party tonight and never canceled it. You see, kids? Absentmindedness can save your life. The side panel door rolled open and costumed demigods poured out. Connor Stoll led the way, wearing a prisoner’s orange jumpsuit with fake manacles on his ankles and wrists. “Dude, your yard decorations are fire!” “They’re real!” I yelled. “Real ghosts!” More demigods emerged from the van—Clovis from the Morpheus cabin, wearing a nightgown, nightcap, and slippers, which was not very different from how he usually lounged at camp; Harley from Hephaestus, the youngest of our campers, encased in a Celestial bronze Iron Man suit he’d probably made himself; Valentina Diaz from Aphrodite, dressed in a black 1940s evening gown with white gloves, a broad-brimmed hat, and twenty different strings of pearls around her neck. Valentina scanned the ghostly horde. “Gross. Can we fight them?” “Yes, please!” Annabeth yelled from the porch. Our friends charged into battle. (pg 292)

I said his friends could help. Except they're helping with ghosts ig

And Rick, Clovis is a son of Ὕπνος (Hypnos), we don't have a Μορφεύς (Morpheus) Cabin

The horse freaked out and whinnied, Why am I flying? (pg 297)

Poor police horse

There should be a rule that goddesses can never come home before 8:00 a.m. Hecate blazed into the mansion at exactly 5:32. (pg 304)

Eugh, what a wake-up time

Sometimes folks at camp asked if I avoided eating seafood because I was the son of Poseidon and could talk to fish or whatever. I always answered that no, I ate fish. Have you ever talked to one? They don’t have a lot to say. Mostly it boils down to Are you food? Am I food? Eating them is the only way to answer the question. (pg 319)

We have an answer to the Percy-seafood question. Tho he'll probably be off calamari for a while

Obviously, I don’t consume the smart species like octopuses, dolphins, sharks, and manta rays. (pg 319)

Oh, so no calamari at all. Good to know

[sen-ya]

@heart-pirates-week || Day 3 || Penguin

Peng gets a third thing I had a lot of thoughts abt him while I made Heart Pirates Week stuff. Puttin it here for now so I can add it to the queue, I'll put it on Ao3 when I'm not on vacation lol. Previous Peng comics I've done (which I will also link once I am not on vacation lol) recommended before this, but not necessary.

take care

Summary:

“Where’re Beps and Cap?” “Dunno, think they went a few villages over looking for some nerd shit.”

or

teen peng & shachi start unpacking a few things

Warnings: implied child abuse/neglect

Word Count: 1669

“Where’re Beps and Cap?”

Penguin glanced around the open room the four teens had been calling home. It was run down, the wood floor scuffed and littered with what debris Law hadn’t already cleared. He was the only one who seemed invested in tidying the place so the process had become long and drawn out, with periodic full days dedicated to cleaning where Law would use what he could of his powers to move heavy things and direct the other three on how to best scrub the floor or mend the roof. What was left now was one large room that was half-tidy, loosely segmented into a corner for sleeping, a corner for eating, a corner for lounging, and a corner full of books and papers for Law and Bepo’s research. 

“Dunno, think they went a few villages over looking for some nerd shit,” Shachi shrugged from his spot in the lounging area. He took a long drag of the joint he was holding before holding it up as an offer. Wordlessly, Penguin made his way to sit beside him and easily took the smoke. Shachi sniffed and pushed his sunglasses up on his head, using them to hold back his bangs which he’d been meaning to cut for months at this point. He was crouched over some papers, clearly stolen from the research corner and flipped to their blank sides. He was scribbling flowing patterns, his hand turned black from the charcoal he sketched with. 

Penguin tilted his head, leaning in to get a better look. Shachi cast him a sideways glance. “Thinkin’ about our Jolly Roger,” he explained, turning the page so his friend could see better. “Cap gave me some ideas he had, hearts and shit like that. Real creative.” He huffed a laugh. Strewn across the page were decorative hearts, their lines swirling in where the curves met. Penguin smiled warmly at the drawings, his finger hovering over a few while he ghosted the outlines, careful not to touch the charcoal. Shachi held his head a little higher with pride at the approval.

“But this ain’t it,” he proclaimed with excitement, turning to grab a few papers he’d tossed to the side. He spread them out in front of them messily, showing off five or six pages of simplified, wide smiles. “Cap said hearts and you know what he was thinkin’.” Penguin gave a knowing nod. “So I was thinkin’ about that story he told us, the way that guy smiled at him and whatever. He was even smilin’ a little thinking about it. Anyway. Think he’ll like ‘em?”

“Yeah. Thoughtful,” Penguin beamed. Shachi scoffed and rolled his eyes, shoving his shoulder into his friend a little harder than he needed to. Penguin shoved him right back, and before long they were pushing each other back and forth, snickering as they play fought. 

“Don’t say dumb shit like that,” Shachi huffed, though it was clear he was pleased that the other boy could tell he’d spent time on his little project. He gave Penguin a final shove on his head, leaving a nearly solid black handprint on his hat. That only made Shachi’s grin widen and he snatched the hat away.

“What—!” Penguin lunged for it, Shachi quickly scrambling to his feet and running across the room.

“Calm down, you don’t need it right now!” Shachi laughed, turning on the faucet of the sink in their ‘eating’ corner. The delay in the water actually coming out was such that Penguin was able to cross the room and very nearly reclaim the hat before the other boy shoved it under the icy stream, rinsing the charcoal off his hands and the hat in the same go.

“Yes I do,” Penguin pouted, arms tight across his body with his chin pressed firmly into his chest. 

Shachi rolled his eyes, turning the water off and slinging the hat over the faucet. He flicked his wet hands at his friend’s face, causing him to startle backwards and look up. Their eyes met and Shachi frowned at the shame making a home on Penguin’s face. “Seriously?” he asked, a little hurt. “It’s just me.” 

Penguin’s gaze dropped, his hand shooting up to cover his right eye. The burn and accompanying scar that was there was long healed, leaving a distinct gap in his eyebrow and redness around his ever swollen eye. The iris was clouded, he hadn’t seen out of it in a few years at this point. All he offered as a response was a small shrug before beginning to step away. 

He didn’t make it far. Shachi’s hands, still icy from the tap, wormed their way to Penguin’s cheeks. His grip was firm as he forced eye contact. 

“You don’t gotta cover your face all the time,” he said sternly. Penguin tried to look around, desperately wanting to be anywhere but here. “I’m right! Don’t act like I’m not. Why are you ashamed of this stupid thing?” He jutted his chin towards the scar. Penguin only clawed at Shachi’s hands, trying his best to squirm away. 

The subject had come up a handful of times since it’d happened, but each time his apparent discomfort had gotten the other boy to drop the subject. Maybe it was because they were a little older now, or maybe it was because they were a little intoxicated, but this time Shachi didn’t back down. “It’s ‘cause you got it for me, isn’t it?”

Penguin’s good eye blew wide. “No,” the word was choked. “No, no.” His hands shot up, mirroring the gesture Shachi was holding firm. He shook his head as much as he could in the other’s grasp, his eye squeezing shut. An image sprung to his mind, one of a much younger ginger haired boy, stomach growling. He was a ball of well deserved anger, tightly wound and never afraid to spring. He understood when Penguin was quiet, knew that well fed and well cared for had different meanings. So of course Penguin had to squirrel some of that food away to the only person he felt understood him. Alone and in need — of care, of warmth, of companionship. 

There was one thing he would never regret, and that was the reason behind his injury.

But that didn’t make him proud of it. Didn’t make the waves of powerlessness the scar brought on any easier to weather. Didn’t make him feel less that he should have left sooner, didn’t make him feel less weak for not being able to fight back. There were so many things tied up in what he saw when he looked in a mirror. It was easier to pretend it wasn’t there. Hide it away to avoid people staring in a way that reminded him they could see it. 

Shachi had a tear in the corner of his eye, and if it weren’t for that anyone would have thought he was absolutely livid. But Penguin knew better, and he felt his heart fracturing as he recognized guilt in his friend’s stare. “I’d do it again,” he muttered. Then, confidently, “I’d do it a million times if it meant you’re taken care of.”

Shachi’s eyesbrows knit together even tighter as the tear fell free, and after that they kept coming. “I told you he’d kick your ass,” he squeaked.

“Didn’t care.”

“You fucking should have.”

Another rigid shake of the head. 

“You’re only a year older than me,” Shachi tried. “I don’t need taking care of.”

At that Penguin blinked, considered it for a moment. “I know,” he said carefully. “…But I want to take care of you.”

Shachi studied his face, confused. Penguin knew he was doing it again, giving his friend that look. The one he knew gave him away, the one he was certain Shachi had yet to find a name for. “Actually,” Penguin muttered, swallowing nervously. “I think…?” He looked around, confidence wavering. He screwed his eyes shut to make it easier and blurted, “I think I wanna kiss you. Can I?”

Silence.

Too long of a silence.

After what felt like ages he cracked his eye open and he could see Shachi’s gears turning. There wasn’t hesitance, per se, but questions he seemed to be working through in his mind rapid fire. Finally, he tilted his head, gave a shrug.

“Sure.”

It was quick, awkward, new. 

When it was over both of them dropped their hands back to their sides, studying the person in front of them. Penguin’s heart thrummed, and he smiled listlessly. As Shachi pressed his lips together in a tight line, evaluating the situation, he realized he couldn’t recall ever seeing such a grin on his friend’s face. After a few more moments of consideration he offered, “I think I liked that.”

Before either could think on it more their front door slammed open, Law and Bepo strolling in. “Yeah, just put them on my desk,” Law was saying, nodding to the appropriate corner over the stack of books he had in his hands. Behind him, Bepo carried twice as many.

Shachi leaned to the side to look around Penguin. “Sup nerds?” he called. Law flipped him off in response.

“The woman at the library was so nice!” Bepo cooed, easily sliding his book stack where Law had asked. “She saw how much we got through while we were there, so she let us borrow twice as many books.”

“I’m more surprised that they had this much worth reading,” Law mused. He sounded calm, but it was clear to the other boys that he was just as giddy about the development as Bepo. 

“What are they?” Shachi made his way to their corner, carelessly picking up a book to flip through. Law snapped at him to be careful, and quickly the three of them started to stir up a commotion.

Penguin sighed a chuckle, hanging back to watch the show as he gave himself a moment to consider the afternoon. 

Yeah, he decided. He thought he liked it too.

[icharchivist]

hiii icha. after like over a year, i've gone through another a3 event! various vows of love. honestly it was very nice to watch bc i'd just found a knot in my hair and was detangling it while watching the whole thing (im free now. cursing my hair for tangling so easily tho)

on to discussing the event! when it started by talking abt tenma starring in a romantic time travel drama i was like !!!! bc. wow. i spend a year away and get greeted with tenma <3 its like they knew just how to pull me back in lol. anyways tbh this kind of tv show sounds right up my alley bc i love a good time travel but i am unsure how this concept would play for me irl. like it would definitely be popular and tenma would definitely be good at it but i was sitting there like soo.... so... whats the female character doing here. is she a sexy lamp. yknow. but that's pitfalls of the industry.

anyways the setup was fun. tux modeling. this type of wedding stuff is. i'm sure people really loved the cards but its not like. entirely my thing which is fine! i did really love taichi telling tenma “we stan a hero!” when he said igawa could drive them. I love you a3 localization team....

okay teaming up with six other grooms with kidnapped wives for the finale is crazy though. suddenly i was like. oh okay i would watch this show. not for the moving drama but for the hilarity of this six groom situation. actually considering the later events with homare saving the day he must be tonally perfect for this kind of thing. when they mentioned six grooms i immediately went... "hm... tenma, banri, misumi, tsuzuru, homare, guy, omi… 1 + 6… I CAN COUNT."

as expected they ended up playing the six grooms! what i really liked during this part was just... the way everyone just takes charge. like homare offers to help and is somehow Around even though he was meant to be wandering, which just makes me feel so... everytime tenma calls him arisu i remember the valentine's magic event and it just makes my heart warm. homare really supports him here which is just nice. circling back. i really love that the moment he hears something is wrong, tenma starts discussing things with the assistant director, and that the moment homare offers, banri calls to check if they can push back the modeling time by a bit. my summer and autumn leaders... and then banri even follow up to meet with the staff in person during a filming break! seeing him have that sense of responsibility is just so great to see.

the homare improv when the glass shattered was so clutch, i'm glad they were able to save it... and its nice. I think like, if it was just tenma filming, i'm not sure he could've improv-ed his way through, but when its mankai... its possible because they support him. anyways homare's poem is totally getting cross stitched somewhere. i love that even though no one in mankai really gets them, its clear that homare's poems have a good amount of fans! and also like even if tsuzuru doesn't get it, its so clear they're both Writers, by the way homare rushes off to write poetry late and night and tsuzuru's like. Well. glass houses. it really is like that when the writing bug gets u.

as for the tux modeling... as said earlier its not very much my thing, but I did like all the proposals bc it felt very much a question of like. how do these men express love? which I think is a lovely thing to consider. and the cg of banri and homare was a total surprise! it’s sooo adorable and a side of banri we don't often get to see. homare MVP indeed!

!! WELCOME BACK WITH THE A3 READ!!!! Glad it helped you to detangle your knot though!

Tenma welcoming you back from time and space like hell yeah. he'd go back in time. For you. But yeah i doubt they thought about the writing of the female lead too much for this.

But yeah felt i know June is Wedding month so they do something about it every year but it's. Well. what it is. TAICHI'S LINE…. HE'S sO GOOD WE LOVE THE LOCALIZATION HERE.

DFKJDKLJDFKLDFJ YOU CAN COUNT INDEED. god you're reminding me of just how weird the event was, how lovely.

God yeah. Again also remembering that Tenma's whole fear was because he didn't have the support to get help during unexpected situation, and then now he has a whole support network, with his fellow leader (also a self reliant guy who learnt the magic of being there for others through theater) and Arisu (with whom Tenma had recently been bonding with) it's just so….. It's so nice to see how easy it is for them to get into this dynamic.

YEAH… YEAH… MANKAI IS LOVE MANKAI IS IMPROV. and you're so right abou Homare's poems. It's established many times that his poems have a lot of fans, even oversea, and i remember so vididly my english poem teacher saying he loved to read poems in languages he didn't understand because then the beauty of the language jumps out with its melody, not its meaning, and you find meaning in the melody, and i remember so vividly thinking "woah…… he'd be fan of Homare's poems…" so i believe in his popularity and in the way he weaves melody into its own meaning. Anyway it's neat to see him in full writer mode.

AND YEAAAH THE CG IS SO CUTE

THE LITTLE BLUSHES. JUST HOW MUCH FUN THEY'RE HAVING. just for that it's worth everything.

A bit of a fluff event before a serious event but it's still a blast to have those characters back.

Thank you as always for your thoughts about them <333 they're a delight

[petrichorium]

plu i would love for you to talk about modern au pluvitano if you feel up for it??? super curious about that one 💝

Kdnxksnkdnekfn my silly billy wattpad mafia story coded au……..

Similar to pluvitano canon he’s v much like. Soft yandere. In fact even less than the og bc he has no need to kill off all my suitors LOL instead he’s just a stalker and gets away with it 🫶🏻

We meet initially when im kinda being followed by a creep and i get a bit close to him bc hes big and intimidating and masked and i thank him profusely for being chill about it meanwhile hes fuckin. mentally planning our wedding i fear SHUBFUH okay exaggeration but modern!capitano still has his warped knight in shining armor x damsel in distress fantasies so he kinda imprints...... does some digging does some research next thing he knows he's been keeping tabs on me for six months and is head-over-heels 🫣 and he kinda. arranges a second "happenstance" meeting w me where he asks me out fr and i accept thinking its a sweet lil meet-cute.

modern!pluvitano is less dramatic than canon bc truthfully i never learn abt the stalking i just think hes very observant.... and by all accounts he is a perfect bf so there's no reason to second-guess things. our relationship moves a Bit fast but not like concernedly so, like while im moving in w him before our first year anniversary he's also gone quite often for work so it doesn't feel super suffocating or anything. I'm a writer in this au, so I mostly stay at home and he likes it that way LMFAOOOOO idk!!!! there u go thats it!!!

[cannibal-nightmares]

I know to some of you I have been inconsistent or missing or entirely absent, but I have been on and off trying not to scream "stay away from me" at all of you (yes including the ones I am still present for). I love u all and I'm unnerved by you all and I may take a wittle break to recollect. I will not let it past my gates I will do everything in my power to keep it from hurting anyone, it's been eating me alive trying to articulate it, and I still don't think this is it but it's as close as it can get. I wrote a short comic regarding this abt six years ago that I never finished maybe that can help. But I may post one last project until I pauusee for a while. Might even be just a week, social media makes time so fast. I need to put my focus somewhere more tangible to recoup. I hold my tongue on thoughts I have and open this app and you all read my mind--always one step again of things I haven't even said out loud--they've told me that's impossible, but I deeply deeply struggle to believe that. I know it's not true but it feels like it is, and it's overwhelming.

I know this all sounds disturbing and maybe concerning, but I am saying it out loud to say that I am actively making a decision on a possible solution while I am able to. and this is it. Cause when I am particularly bad brained, even backing away feels like a dangerous move. so I'm saying it's going to be okay. It will be. Alright. I know this seems sudden, but I have been stuck in trying to say this for weeks now. And probably should have done it months ago. Even the nice things, I feel in danger of. To include this. I adore you all. stay outta the heat. We'll be back.

[minquiec]

Why GiftedEyes is kinda special to me

Oh my goddd it's been a while since I yapped 😭 I've just been busy I promise I never stop the yap but this is uhmmm smth new that I haven't really posted about cause I literally came up w it 3-5 weeks ago but it's a oc PLUS canon not oc X canon cause it's a platonic pairing between an oc and.....GOJO SATORU OUT OF ALL PPL but yea enjoy I think

This is but a temporary diversion from jipunk hshahaha cause thinking abt moving on makes me wanna throw up cause I don't like change 😍😍 but I realise it's okay to like multiple things at the same time and it doesn't define me 🤺 so anyways

(I still love all my ocs and characters and ships and what not I never move on I just can't multitask and fixate on two things at once [me trying to self affirm LOL])

So how the fuck did I get here

How did I join the masses and suddenly become a gojo satoru enjoyer? Tbh idrk cause I've been into jjk for a while and it kinda appears in phases where I'd be pretty into it for a week and then ease out and then repeat for the next couple of months but this time round it's especially bad for some reason bc???? Hello??? I suddenly grew heart eyes for gojo satoru?? Scratches head fr but LAWD ITA SO FUN cause fanart wise jjk is a way more popular series than spiderverse and i can literally feel my starving body being replenished

But besides him being obviously a pretty boy I've actually grown to like his character a lot

So you see ☝️🤓 the problem w me is whenever I like a character I always gotta really REALLY like them to the point when I start analysing their personality to see if I actually fr like them and that's how it lasts longer than an average "he fine I want him"

And w gojo I think I realized I rlly like characters who have compassion for other ppl? 😭 but it's gotta have layers idk I have a range of types so maybe I'm just talking bs

Cause it's not rlly obvious w gojo but he's really kind in terms of his compassion for humanity which makes me ssooo 🙂‍↕️☝️😭🙏🙆‍♀️🤺🫶💔💔🧍‍♂️🗣️📈📈🔥🔥‼️🆙🆙 and it shows in the way he treats his students (ignoring the fact bro stepped on peoples faces in shibuya but you sort of get what i mean not really) and in that one line where he said smth like "no one should take the youth away from young people" and im going to leap because of his own youth that was taken from literally his birth cause of his groundbreaking, historic birth with his six eyes AND limitless

So very obviously he didn't have a normal childhood, probably put on a pedestal and worshipped which meant he grew up! Kinda weirdly! And when he met suguru he could probably experience his youth for the first time (geto!! Suguru!!! Was his first and last blue spring!!!! Blue spring is a poetic way of saying youth!!!! I'm gonna LEAP) and that youth was prematurely taken away at FIFTEEN and SSEECONNDD YEAR when riko was killed which could basically be a metaphor of the death of their youth with their morals and principles being thrown into a clothes dryer and tumbled around

And I'm not gonna. Get into how much stsg make me wanna tear my hair out cause tbh I Will Cry cause I've cried atleast 4 times about them before and I'm trying to keep my peace and they actually make me so sad bc the depth of their connection Makes Me Want to dddiiieeeee 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ they're so much more than just ahaha silly ship tgt and it drives me crazy but I'm not gonna get into it bc once again; I'm Gonna Cry

Anyways back to sat or oo gojo, he can do very easily be that cold typical guy that doesn't care but instead he chooses to hold the responsibility of the jujutsu world on his shoulders alone bc unlike the higher ups who are fucking useless!!!! He doesn't want the youth to suffer for the mistakes (they inevitably do anyways though 💔) cause I saw this tweet where he literally, could've solved the whole shibuya incident in a split second if he wanted (hollow purple the whole place and easy as that) but because of the innocent people involved he chose to literally risk vulnerability by over exerting to the max like wtf did you see that he's insane he's crazy he's gojo satoru (which in the end cost him his temporary freedom 💔💔💔 but I digress)

But uhmmm that concludes why I like him so much rn 🙏🙏 I saw this rlly good tweet where it mentions from who I believe is a jjk screen writer?? And mentions that gojos attractiveness stems from his ability to show weakness and that he isn't all invincible in terms of character and im like uuueEEEEEE but I appreciate him a lot

So ofc as any normal person would deal with loving a character, obviously my crazy ass decided "wow!! What a tragic character who's so, so lonely!!! I can't stand this and my heart cries for you so I'm gonna give you a companion because the canonical media treats you too painfully!!!!!"

Like a normal person does

So now we enter mins crazy bitch domain, my mind palace, my noggin if you will and all this takes a sharp detour to Cringeville but when have I ever gaf

A key aspect of Ruri's character is that she revolves around the failure of authorities in her life, starting from young where she is exploited for monetary means because of her jujutsu talent. I kinda made it on purpose that she parallels w satoru in a way where both were deprived of a normal childhood due to their talent? She is then failed again by the higher ups in the incident where she loses an eye due to their mistake and it's important to note that during this time (around ~2006 to ~2007) the star vessel plasma stuff happened and haibara dying due to higher ups so it really just solidifies that theme of children being exploited and burdened for the mistakes cause by the generation before them.

So because of this, there's already a different kind of connection between all of the surviving students of this time (mmm sort of minus suguru cause he went off and uhm,, started his cult and became public enemy #1)

On top of this initial connection of trauma, prior to it ruri and satoru had a more whimsical thing going on where they both have special eyes kind of (hence why I named it GiftedEyes cause they're technically both gifted in their own sense and they got fucked up eyes hahahaha) and during this time period, he's just very cheeky and cocky and she barely tolerates him bc ehhh he's just like that but he's nice in his own fucked up way

For shoko and suguru it's more of a normal friendly close relationship cause ruri's canonically likeable HaHaHa she's just very nice to be around so the 4 are in this close friend group tgt but I won't get tm into their dynamic or whtevr the fuck they have going on

So after the star ves incident and ruri's accident, she disappears for like ATLEAST A DECADE I THINK,,, TO HEAL?? (I'm still working on this but all ik is the higher ups took her away for healing) so none of the three see her again till 2018 (WHAT REALLY FUCKS ME UP IS THAT SHE NEVER GOT TO SEE SUGURU AGAIN,,,,, there's one situation where she actually sort of walks past mimiko and nanako in a public setting and she recognises a bit of his CE [this shit ain't canon, making this up cause it's part of her CT ajjajaj] but she brushes it off)

But anyways the dynamic changed when they meet again as adults in 2018 where instead of barely tolerating his shenanigans, ruri grew to be one of very few people who actually indulge his personality (as masked as it might be bc cmon now) because seeing familiar faces after all they've been through makes her sad 😞😞 it doesn't help she's older AJAJA only by a little but she's biologically inclined (ruri: oct 20 shoko: nov 7 satoru: dec 7 suguru: feb 3)

And while I say indulge, I don't mean she's actively encouraging it LOL she still has that stoic calm personality from adolescence but it's more like she turns the other way whenever he's being goofy (she buys him sweets and souvenirs whenever she comes back from missions)

And its cause like, the idea of someone who's on the top of the chain, the world even, finding comfort in an old friend makes me soooooo sssssssooooooo aAAAUYYEEUUGGHHHHHH it's what he deserves after so long so this is my coping okay and it kills me cause i think he (bear with me here lemme be cringe) would find a lot of comfort in her presence again cause sometimes it's like she's a time capsule from the distant past where he was actually happy and can't help but almost revert to the silly cheeky version 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ he may be suffering from his breakup for the past decade BUT atleast he got his girl SPACEBAR friends to support him (shoko and ruri)

Platonic love also really makes me sob cause like ,,, it's the way you've formed such a connection and affection (non romantically) strung by the mishaps and tragedies you've suffered together,,,ueueue but yea that's it i think i need to honk shoo mimimi they r special to me

[cheemken]

Bro? You just use ibispaint, on a phone, to draw?? And they always come out amazing???

Also Hau and Iris look so CNCHXKSN. They look so cool and you can just tell how much influence Lance and Diantha had on them

But I wanted to say, I thought of how the Unova Region would find out about Iris, or at least how cold and violent she’s gotten. Because if she can’t hide her anger then she’ll definitely be seen as a tyrant sooner or later like Lance and Leon

Now most of the people know that The Champion and The Hero of Unova have been good friends for years. Lots of times the two trainers and their friends would be seen together, hanging out, laughing, being happy, and just all in all great friends. So imagine the regions surprise when Champion Iris greatly injures The Hero of Truth, Hilbert

It was one of those times when Hilbert challenged Iris for her title, confident that him and his Pokémon trained enough to overthrow his friend. But of course she defeated all six of his Pokémon and kept her title. After some small talk Hilbert joking mentions how her luck will run out soon and he’ll be the new champion. And her anger slightly flares for a moment, her friend doesn’t think she’s strong enough to be champion and that she has relied on luck to get this far. She gives short replies to his questions and starts preparing to leave, making sure her Pokémon are fine and healed up

Getting annoyed with her lack of answers and just general attitude over the past few months, Hilbert himself gets angry and starts an argument with her. After some back and forth yelling he says some words he’ll regret. He says how if she’s only using her skills and strength to terrorize the people of Unova, that if she’s going so far that she would’ve killed someone had they not stopped her, then she isn’t fit to be a champion. Because a champions job is to protect, not kill the innocent

Iris really though her friend was better. That he knew his place in the world and trusted her decisions to protect Unova, to protect their friends, to protect him, but it seems he’s just like the rest of them. Looking down on her like she’s nothing

Only when Iris grows quiet does he realize how suffocating the room felt. How the room got colder, and how Iris’ eyes, that once reminded him of shining rubies, were now a frightening eerie red that stared straight at him from across the room. Finally realizing his terrible mistake when Iris reveals a seventh Pokéball and releases the legendary Dragon/Ice type Pokémon, who stares directly at him, with it ready to fire the move Glaciate whenever it’s trainer commands it to

NO BUT CHDMCBDMBCMDBCMDBX

No but my last post, it was supposed to be abt Iris being so pissed abt the people of Unova she did a team Plasma and froze a few of the towns as a threat

And now you send me this and I'm so not fucking normal abt it that is so dope😭

GOD BUT VJXMBCMCNF

Can you imagine the colour on Hilbert's face fading, staring wide eyes up at Kyurem. He never got to face Kyurem back then, Nate never told him, or any of them, of his experience w Kyurem, w Ghetsis. N never told them as well, in respect of Nate's wishes, but what N only told them it was freezing, it felt like a worse version of hell, it felt terrifying, and had he not came in with Reshiram... Hilbert almost didn't wanna know. And now, standing before him was none other than Kyurem itself, under the command of their Champion, glaring at him with the same intensity he once received from Ghetsis.

He should've known. Nate left Kyurem with Drayden. But Drayden's gone now. And the one left with Kyurem is none other than the strongest trainer in Unova.

"Iris... Let's not cross that line." He carefully said, raising both his arms in surrender, "I take it back. I take everything back." His breathing quickened, puffs of cold air leaving his lips with each bated breath, "just.. Arc, Iris, please, don't do this." He pleaded, falling to his knees. He knew what happened to Unova while he, Hilda, and N were away. He knew the damages Kyurem had done because of Plasma. But Plasma wasn't around anymore, and Plasma didn't know the full potential of a Dragon, not like Iris. She knows how to tap into it, knows what to do to unleash their hidden power within, she understands them more than any other could. And she knows that one Glaciate Kyurem will summon will be enough to freeze the entire league over.

But Iris still glared at him. Told him he had a plan with the others, don't you? She can sense them, can sense Zekrom and Reshiram on their way.

"I didn't know about that!"

LIAR!

As she commanded Kyurem to use Glaciate, N and Hilda came just in time to block the attack, commanding both Reshiram and Zekrom to attack Kyurem.

N had warned Hilda to not let Zekrom close, as Iris would probably have the DNA Splicers w her too, so the two became more wary while battling. But Iris was erratic, it's so unlike her now, yelling out her commands, so desperate to beat them.

But also I have this lil concept too, that when N and Hilda came in, Hilda and Hilbert did fight Iris, like legit fought her hand to hand, all while N was trying to calm down Kyurem. And just cjmdd imagine Hilda and Hilbert actually knocking her out and got Kyurem's pokeball, calling him back. And they brought Iris to Plasma's castle under the league, tied her up in a chair maybe, in N's throne most likely, and then the Nuvema gang and N are there before her.

Imagine her glaring at them, almost growling at them, telling them to let her go. But ofc, they're not letting her go that easily. God imagine them finally getting to really talk to her, asking her why she's suddenly acting like that, after Drayden's death she wasn't the same.

And like, imagine her looking down, tears rolling down her cheeks, and she starts sobbing. Telling them that she really just missed her grandpa, that she just wanted to prove herself to be a good Champion, a strong trainer that their region could rely on, but the pressure was getting to her, especially since everyone still looked down on her, how no matter what she does, she will never be enough for the people of Unova, and she hates it. It haunts her every night, haunts her until she couldn't sleep, and it didn't help how she could still hear the hushed whispers of the people in Opelucid telling her that she will never be able to fill in Drayden's role as the mayor of that city too.

Bianca ofc caved in, she tried to approach Iris, Cheren and even Hilda stopped her, but she gave them a look that they knew they couldn't argue w her on this one. Bianca knelt before Iris, wiping her tears, telling her that she doesn't have to fight her battles alone anymore, they're her friends, "we'll always be here for you." And Iris smiled at that, melting in her touch, shifting slightly almost kissing the palm of her hand, thanking her for her patience. Bianca then looked at the others, and they finally relented, they untied Iris and they half expected her to double cross them, instead she fell straight into Bianca's arms, pulling her close as she cried on her shoulder.

And the others, well, perhaps Iris really was misguided, but not anymore, they'll make sure of it. So they went in and joined in on the group hug, telling Iris that they'll always be there for her.

Iris smiled at that, hidden as she buried herself deeper in Bianca's embrace, guess Diantha's acting lessons really did pay off.

[stormyrainyday]

got off the call with the doctor deep sigh apologies for the below crashout

he wants me to get retested for my allergens and become strict abt cutting them out again so i can retest and reintegrate in six weeks

but he's also given me a lot of general anti-inflammatory diet advice and like it's not like ground breaking stuff or anything i didn't know. i know im not supposed to eat gluten. i know saturated fats are bad for me. i know processed sugar raises the risk of diabetes and stuff. i know i need to be regular with exercise and mindfulness and deep breathing and other stress reduction techniques improve outcomes in immune mediated disorders. i know all that. but im so tired of being sick

and when it's all that wellness flavored advice (i know the specific stuff he said is backed by science but it *feels* like wellness culture) on top of avoiding all the things im allergic to-- which is not a small list: gluten, eggs, vanilla, coconut, beans, to name a few-- it's exhausting. what the hell am i supposed to eat. he even told me to avoid casein ffs. not cut it out like the actual allergens, but limit its quantity.

can't have milk can't have too much sugar in my tea can't have my mango juice can't have bread can't have eggs. avoid stir frying and opt for steamed or baked things (as if our oven even works)... it's basically a "don't eat out, ever". plan all your meals in advance because spontaneity usually means that i just won't have something i can eat available to me. alternative dietary options are harder to find and much more expensive in my country, so my diet typically begins to dwindle to rice and some meat and vegetable. i get bored. sometimes i want a goddamn sandwich. i eat less. and it makes me even more tired.

i just started going back to the gym again and i am happy! i like exercising! it feels good! but being told to go on doc's orders also is demoralizing. it's another thing i have to do now.

and i feel like i should be grateful. at least it's not crohn's disease like my old doctor thought. at least im not taking steroids anymore. at least i don't have to take those gigantic pills the size of my thumbnail that didn't do shit for me anyway. at least im not having the discussion about moving to regularly injected medications. at least the dietary measures have actually fucking helped!!!! but jesus christ man im so tired.

i'm grateful not to be bedridden every afternoon clutching my stomach in pain or going home halfway through every uni day because the cramping got so severe i started sweating and crying in class. i'm grateful that i'm not nauseous all the time and being told oh it's just IBS. im grateful to be able to live my life again. i am. i am!! but im sick of doctors im sick of watching my diet im sick of having to think this hard about it im sick of all of it. im so tired.

and to worry about this while doing my usmle prep, while in my clinical rotations, while having exams every month, while planning my engagment... i can almost laugh im tired of being tired.

i'll probably get my bloodwork done next week or over the weekend. and then i'll be back in the cutting out allergens phase. and then reintegrating food takes god knows how many months. it's such a fucking slow process. god. god. i am so fucking tired.

[room303-cherrylane]

2023(33) WRAPPED! :]

hi, it's been a while. here's an attempt at writing my 2023 wrapped! it's been a crazy year. i've felt like burying myself six feet underground, as well as soaring like a fireball in the sky. here's what went down:

🍒 physical

weight training wasn't a focus this year. i lifted whenever i wanted to. wasn't super hard on myself on the weeks or even months i went without lifting a dumbbell. i understood that my depressive episodes even made it hard for me to simply wake up. on the days that felt really bad, i'd take myself out on afternoon walks around the village. i was really thankful i enrolled for expressive dance and walking for fitness this year though! :) when i had my f2f classes for expressive dance, i got to walk around upd and move under the late morning sun. when i moved into my dorm in september, i'd also walk a lot! actually i walk SO MUCH now! 2km is easy-peasy. i'd walk whenever i could. i didn't think i could walk 100m per minute, but i do now. i think my ass got bigger? LOL. still feel conscious abt my subtle weight gain and being less toned, but we love the tummy at the end of the day :3

🍒 mental and emotional

like a can of worms if you ask me. jesus christ. i went thru ALLAT this year. went back to therapy again because of the family problem. i'd see my therapist bi-weekly and we went from february to august. i took in my sessions waaay better than i did last year, though. every unearthing i had felt less world-shattering. i think it's because i got to ease myself into this process already, as compared to 2022 when the sessions went by more quickly and unpacking felt entirely new. keeping strong was definitely a challenge. i think i did go through some extremes, i wish i had dealt with those moments with more grace. i learned now. i'm more in tune with myself. dorming also helped me realize that. i remember my triggers and patterns, know what my behaviors and bodily reactions indicated whenever a particular one floats up the surface. i talk to myself more. whenever i also felt something in myself that i didn't like, i'd take the time to ask myself why i feel that way, why it upsets me. i left myself hanging a lot, in a good way. i stopped digging in too much to find answers. i wait for them to appear instead. for now, my best takeaway is: when i hate myself, i go to my friends. when i feel like the world hates me, i nap it off. when i hate everything, i go for a walk. ending the year with more grace. more grace. more warmth. more thought.

🍒 family

straight out of MMK. i kid you not. i dont know how all of THAT really happened. a literal rollercoaster. lots of unraveling, grieving what i thought always was but was actually not or was something different. so many tears. a lot of anger, anxiety, tension. at some point, i had been racking up my mind on how i would be able to move myself out the house as soon as possible. it felt unsalvageable. but 6 months after what went down, i do feel like i was also naive into thinking it could have been that simple. it was difficult. i'd also like to give myself a hug. i don't want to fault myself into making my family enemies. i don't want to forget the realizations i also had. but at present, i'm thankful we have made it through right now on a more pleasant note. a part of me is convinced that dorming, the distance, and the damned cat made some difference. i think i understand my mother and sister a little bit better also. i hope it gets better from here.

🍒 friends

always THE BEST. thank you guys for being here--is what i always think about. my anchor and my rock. my friends really modeled to me what healthy relationships should be. this year, i learned to be more nurturing and soft. all the hardness i had accumulated through my 22 years of living had thawed out. i found my way back to the warmth i innately had in my childhood with the help of my friends. there were also those i eventually distanced myself from because being with them just made it feel so muddy. it's okay, i learned how to check in with myself on that now too. what standards i had for those i want to keep close. i fear closeness less now. i've been less shy to say to my friends how they really mean to me. i made new precious buddies! i'm applying at a music org :] i found super cool people to be with. i love their presence. i always visit my friends at fa. i'd message and check-in with long-distance friends. so vibrant. i'm full with your love and care and thought. each year i'm excited to take all of you with me to the next!

🍒 romantic

still bleak haha. i went back to bumble at some point and thought i found the guy. i think i got ahead of ourselves. ah well, i tried. he was alright, that fellow. quite awkward, but it was a learning experience, to know when to tap out because i was pushing something that wasn't real. in other news, every person i found likeable would have a significant other already. gotdamn???? or just liked men. aha. well. i do think about my friends' approach to this: "so what?" and right... So What? if i adore you anyway, then i adore you. so i'm at that :) i adore someone. a friend right now. i've been shoving it under the rug since september because i thought it was just me hyperfixating and projecting onto a person again, but right now it's all swimmingly well? i like our growing friendship a lot and at the core, i just want to know him more. i think he is a thoughtful and cool person. i do have to stop projecting though really. i want to know the real him so, self, let's stop ourselves, okay? just don't think. and drop everything when he's around. take the real him in. not the specter. take the real him in. the thoughtful cool person who i assume has a soft spot for eating kimchi :)

🍒 passions

my best year in art so far. a lot of "i didn't know i had that in me" moments. i let myself be the most free, and i soared. did 9 art market events and met so many beautiful strangers. i loved meeting people so much. produced my artworks physically. it's still insane to have my works out in the world like that. i re-opened my shop on my birthday. i packed and shipped out so many orders. i printed on tote bags. silver stickers. temporary tattoos led me to my current illustration style. I DIDN'T THINK I'D ACTUALLY GET INTO ILLUSTRATING? THE FUCK? getting to produce my works into merch helped me understand the sustainability, the life of my works. i appreciate their existence more deeply now. whenever i put new stuff out, i want it to linger for as long as it can. it deserves this lifetime. the whole world has yet to know all of you exist. i don't always need to have anything new or even anything grand.

got back into music :(<3 the first love of my life. joining upmc really awoke a dormant passion in me. it's been asleep for a while. god. got to be a part of 2 bands, did band rehearsals each week, did vocal arrangements, rocked out on stage, i sweated under the vibrant stagelights they got into my eyes and i could only wink while still feeling electric. love my talented bandmates they're all so cool. love you natra and paramarami! currently writing an original song with a bandmate. my singing got 10x better idk it's like it just went full on steroids it's crazy, i never thought i'd sound this good in this lifetime. i love performing. no more stage fright. i was just aflame. more gigs next year! OK!

🍒 general

kickass year. 10/10 actually. i lived all the lives i've always wanted to. holy shit. thank you. thank you. thank you.

i'll update w any additional details in 2024 if something comes up :) haha. so clutch, i'm writing this on dec 31 at 4:12am. i really wanted to get this done. AAAA!

[dearestdeeer]

Guy's I'm cooking. Idk how to call this au? Tim acually replaces someone hm? What will you say abt that Jason, not so special are we? Maybe crime alley Tim au idk Anyway --->

Timothy Drake disappeared on July 15 ten years ago just four days before his seventh birthday. He was found three months later covered in mud and dried blood that wasn't his own. His parents assumed the child's change in behavior was trauma related and didn't pressure him, the slight change in his eye color also didn't raise their suspicions. Things like that happen when kids grow up. It's only natural. They didn't remember buying him a digital camera though so he must have brought it with him from where he disappeared to. The therapist said the memories would come back and to not pressure him too hard while he was recovering.

So Janet Drake never turned it on perhaps If she did she would find the pictures of her boy strapped to a chair, slowly bleeding out from a gash on his young, pale neck.

But she never did turn on the camera. Maybe she knew deep down that her son was long gone, stiff and cold on the bottom of Gothams River.

His parents moved on with their life and departed on another trip three months later.

Tim had mostly forgotten about the deep blue eyes hunting him, so similar to his own paler color of sea. That is until Timothy Drake's body washes up ten years later, still six years old and still dead.

And Tim's reminded of who he was before what happened on that one cold night. He's reminded of the name he thought was buried with the boy and his gasoline soaked documents.

Alvin Draper. Forgotten. Gone. Never loved and never mourned, much like Timothy Drake.

He- He should visit his own grave again, he may no longer have the name Draper but it was still his grave.

Tim was getting fucking sentimental.

He took a last glance at the body or rather bones squeezed into an old suitcase filled with rocks and trashbags. Tim took a breath and retreated to continue his patrol after waving goodbye and good luck to Commissioner Gordon.

"Re-" He squeezed his eyes shut. "-ed."

"Red Robin, do you copy?" Oracles' voice cracked in his ear followed by Nightwing.

"You okay there Baby Bird?" Dick asks with a hint of tease, masking the concern. Tim tries to open his mouth but he finds himself unable to say anything more than a simple. "Yeah."

"That bad?" Dick asks and Tim frowns, unable to comprehend what the older one means.

"Wha-" He cuts him off. "The body, Oracle says it was a kid." He sounds sad and a bit resigned.

"Yes, about five to ten years old from the looks of it." Tim replays simply thinking of Timothy's choked sobs at the blood slowly drained from his neck. His brother hisses in sympathy. "Don't worry." Tim assured him, plastering on a forced smile to make his voice sound less dead. "It was just bones, nothing too spooky."

There is a noise from the com it sounds like Nightwing is deciding on something. "So we got an old case hm?" He blinks, scrunches his brows and slowly asks.

"We?"

"I might be staying home for a while… It would be nice to work on something together, what would you say Red?"

First time Dick makes an effort with brotherly bonding and it has to be over Tim's own death. Or well… Other Tim's but still.

He's fucked.

Fic idea: Tim Drake is actually Alvin Draper who stole Tim's Identity when he was little after finding Tim's body and Tim's parents never noticed.

🧍

[rollercoasterwords]

10 books!! :•)

ty 4 the tag @otrtbs (+ @serethereal i'm just doing it on this blog) <3 here r 10 books 2 get 2 know me

1. a history of glitter and blood, by hannah moskowitz

favorite book of. all time probably. first read this when i was like 16 i think and since then i've reread it about once a year. keep waiting for it to like...hit me less hard but every time i read it i am still v much moved in the same sort of way that i was the first time!!

2. the last unicorn, by peter s. beagle

feel like this story is like. integral 2 me as a person. first encountered it in the form of the 1982 movie as a child + then discovered it was a book in high school. there are differences between the two of course but the central themes are the same + i do think the ending like. permanently altered my brain as a child such that it has shaped my worldview ever since

3. the archive of alternate endings, by lindsey drager

newest addition 2 the list!! just read this book like a month ago and it was so good that it now has a place of honor on my favorites list <3 made me full-body sob but is like. so exactly perfect for me as a book that it felt like it was written 4 me

4. animorphs, by k.a. applegate

surprisingly not a childhood series 4 me bc i watched one episode of the tv show they made in the 90s + it scared me so much that i never touched the books. however i read the entire series in college and. it is now one of my favorite works of literature ever.

5. gormenghast, by mervyn peake

this book means a lot 2 me personally bc it's like. tied 2 my dad 4 me <3 he's a big reader but our tastes only have a small overlap, so it's not super often that we'll both love the same book. but when i was in high school i was looking for something 2 read + he pulled gormenghast off his bookshelf + was like try this nobody's ever heard of it bc peake is not well-known but it's like. sprawling dark fantasy. + it ended up being one of the most beautiful + unique stories i have ever read <3

6. you too can have a body like mine, by alexandra kleeman

a favorite satire <3 love kleeman's writing style + the sort of weird suburbia-horror of this story

7. the man who laughs, by victor hugo

generally speaking i am not a big ~classics~ person however. my final year of hs this was the book i chose for my like big final english paper + it's like. the first book i really had 2 study on a deeper level + i loved all the twisting symbolism + the tragedy of it all

8. six of crows, by leigh bardugo

technically this is 2 books bc i'm thinking of the entire duology but. yeah <3 fave like. fun fantasy story 2 reread when i want a book that makes me feel like i'm watching a movie while i read it. also love love love all the characters <3

9. this is how you lose the time war, by max gladstone and amal el-mohtar

first time i read this book i felt like my brain was melting!!! so short but the exact kind of story that i love; sort of scrambled poetic writing style + weird dark fantasy + sci-fi elements

10. no future: queer theory and the death drive, by lee edelman

i actually. do not recommend this book as it is so dry + dense and an absolute slog 2 read. however it makes the list bc encountering lee edelman's writing abt reproductive futurity + the death drive was like. top 10 life-altering moments that fundamentally changed the way i think in college. so!!!

no-pressure tags: @steelycunt @dykefever @pomegranate-pill @suspendedinbush @mayescapade :•)

[biostris]

Heya i'm here for some wholesome marriage headcanons of Saltbaker x reader! Bcs why not?

A/N: doing this one specifically bc I'm not feeling the best emotionally (i was forgotten abt) and i like to think of stuff like this. also plz lmk what tag i need to look up for more saltbaker gifs- (C/W): none

:Chef Saltbaker x Reader:

:Marriage Headcannons:

It is a fairly traditional marriage, especially the ceremony, however if you don't wish to marry at a church then he will oblige and happily try to find other Venue's that you both enjoy

a possible venue would be the fanciest restaurant in ink well, or maybe something outside

I've stated this previously but come hell or high water this man is NOT taking off his damn wedding band! he loves you too much to take it off and hes proud that he's married to you!

I like to imagine that he moves from Isle IV to a suburb so you guys can start a family and not fear the raging sea that lies so close to the island town

maybe some sort of ranch house or Victorian style with a big kitchen so he can twirl you around while his latest dish cooks

maybe ill make it in house flipper :)

he definitely wants kids, all options are on the table though he'd like two little shakers running around if it is possible. wants at least two, six at the most!

Chores are split, even if he had a busy day at the bakery he is always ready to help with any extra chores or taking care of the kids

type of husband to watch the kids the first few months while his partner rests

he makes enough money to support his family so if you wanted to start a small business or just be a stay at home guardian he would happily allow you to do so

he is a proud and family oriented man and there is nothing he wouldnt do for his spouse.

[hellomynamiseglaf]

🌰Chestnuts and Warm Milk🍂

My List of ~Favorites~ for Interactive Fiction and Visual Novels

(This is a work in progress so please bear with me)

Interactive Fiction:

The Wayhaven Chronicles (WIP Series in Development) - @seraphinitegames  (Look,,, I’m just... obsessed.. I can’t stop thinking abt it,,, and I'm..... sometimes, I read and I think I feel like I know what love is.)

Mind Blind (WIP) - @mindblindbard (I just,, UGH it’s so good. I can't even say that much because my feelings about it are so potent that everytime I see an update I try to tell myself to leave it alone to play larger portions of updates as a treat and everytime my willpower FAILS and I replay the demo like twice in a row)

Demon: Recollect ; Forsaken (WIP) - both by @bathalafiction (whew...WHEW!!! Are you kidding me?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Look. I was attached to Demon: Recollect. I loved it. And then I played the Forsaken WIP and now I can't get over my absolutely BOMB character design for my player persona. Also it's kind of fun being considered a jerk in the game, because it opens up a lot of different options that I usually feel bad about taking)

Shadow Society - @carawenfiction (the concept is so interesting,, I dream of more. Also Quaiel...baby...)

The Soul Stone War - @intimidatingpuffinstudios (also whew!! I really enjoyed it and the characters all picture themselves really vividly in my mind for some reason.)

Greenwarden (WIP) - @fiddles-ifs (reading this is like thick fog.. but in a good way? I don't know how to describe it without pictures but this IF smells like fog over wet grass)

Divine Intervention (WIP) - @divineinterventiongame (the concept?? UGH SO GOOD. For some reason it's always the first game I click to check for updates)

Golden (WIP) - @milaswriting (😈😈😈😈)

Blood/line (WIP) - @bloodlineoffical (simply put,,, LARRY)

Supernatural in New York ; The Bastard of Camelot (both WIPs) - @llamagirl28  (UGH Both of these are so good in their own ways but equally as exciting to see updates for. I haven't consolidated my feelings much further than "my MC for SiNY is so cute" and "Mordred is a child" but they're all generally positive.)

Ace of Spades (WIP) - @steph-writing (I keep thinking about,,, con........)

Nevermoore (WIP) - @asteristories (AHHHHH.... let me say it again for those in the back: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

Son of Satan: The Mortal Coil (WIP) - @sosthemortalcoil (YES.)

Shepherds of Haven (WIP) - @shepherds-of-haven (yes. I just have to sigh because it's very good and I like saying those funny little words of power. But also outside of the game I can only picture this game as a great, grey border collie)

Attollo (WIP) - @attollo (Also a very interesting concept, whoo... I almost forgot how immersive it was untill I played the demo again and was reminded of how 'into it' I was straight off the bat. Also the seperate, short little piece on the blog with Sysba was also really good and I had a dream about it the other day)

Into the Shadows (WIP) - @wynnakang​ (whooo.... I'm sighing again, but louder. I press restart and play the demo again)

A Comedy of Manors (WIP) - @sviyaginthegreat (I kept replaying options that I hadn't chosen before because I wanted there to be more lmao)

Fallen Hero: Rebirth - @fallen-hero (I think there's a sequel coming up? I haven't stopped thinking about this storyline since I finished it omg... the.. the details are really good and I've become ridiculously attached to my tragic villain? Character... she IS the standard for my reusable IF persona, or at least one of my most prominent ones ;-D )

Samurai of Hyuga (WIP series) - (I'm pretty sure multiplechoicestudios.com is the development blog for this game, or at least what I've been checking for updates..... this is a series with four book currently out.... and I've been playing through book 4 at slower than a snail's pace in a desperate attempt to prolong my experience. I really didn't think I was going to like it as much as I did but I got a little too into it and now I'm horribly attached to all the characters)

The Porthecrawl Witness(WIP) - @porthecrawl-witness (I'm pretty sure this is a WIP?? But ugh. SCREEEEEE- it's so good. It's SO GOOD. I really want to punch Talbot in the face. And Asher, if for a different reason. And sort of Staci just to try. Quinn is just a cutie I could never hurt him like that. Ugh but they're all so good and I forgot that I was reading a WIP untill it suddenly was over..... I'mfeeling really aggressive rn as I'm writing this, so please just note that the punch comment is meant as a statement on how interesting the concept and immersiveness of the characters and story is)

Forgotten Names (WIP) - by Alexandra_Zorila on the CoG Forum (turn the volume up. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Look, look. It's..... delicious. It's SO interesting and I obsessively have a tab open on my computer to check for updates)

OFNA: Birds of a Feather (WIP) - @ofna (the vibes are so grey and smoky but the fog is definitely from a party smoke machine and the room is only dark because the walls are taped with those huge sheets of black construction paper that teachers use to cover their bulletin boards with... the game definitely falls in the 'dark and mysterious' genre but something just strikes me as really funny when I play it. Anyway it's good and it's in a lot if recommended lists for a reason. Also I'm very attached to my American Goldfinch)

More Things in Heaven and Earth (WIP) - @morethingsgame (in the same way that it's fun to play Guenevere in the Guenevere game or Mordred in The Bastard of Camelot, playing Ophelia in the sort-of Hamlet story is really fun. If anyone has read the Missing collection- which I absolutely love- by Margaret Peterson Haddix, this gives me similar vibes for some reason. Anyway, I really want to give Hamlet a hug and make him a flower crown or something)

A Tale of Crowns (WIP) - @ataleofcrowns (It's kind of not even funny how much I love this game... It's hard to even describe why I like it, just that it's so well rounded in terms of the story, characters, dialogue, and relationships. It's such an interesting plotline and it's pretty immersive. Also the first time I read the demo, there was an update as I was reading and the high that sent me on has very rarely been matched. Also Dara running to save my Crown in the tunnel?? 🤚😩🤭💓 ugh. UGH!! That's good food for my fool heart)

Scout: An Apocalypse Story (WIP)- @anya-dev (I'm usually not that into apocalypse themes/plots but I really enjoyed this game, and the plot was very good and intruiging... it really pulled me in and I like my character in the story a lot. I don't know why but it tastes like chikuwa, atsuage, and this specific type of carmelized onions that my mom makes sometimes)

Nothing left to burn (WIP)- @clowdee-works (......ouch. I *knew* what was going to happen and I STILL became attached to Drew)

Smoke and Velvet - @roast-ifs (It's good. And I am VEDY much into my character design. Also the story is really interesting, and I enjoy the setting a lot somehow)

Speaker (WIP)- @speakergame (very fun to play, and each update gets me more interested in the aspects of the plot. I also really like the little descriptions of what the characters think of the player)

The Nameless (WIP)- @parkerlyn (interesting plot, I like the characters a lot, and The aesthetics of this world are so interesting. Definitely had a good time visualizing what everything looked like)

Fields of Asphodel (WIP) - @asphodelgame (I think it's really cute so far!!! I like mythology in general, and the persephone/hades dynamic is *mwah!*... I like the way the story progresses in the beginning, and I think it works well in drawing the reader into the world. I also very much enjoy petting large dogs.)

...there are so much more.. and I have followed so many blogs.........

I'm not sure why I can't find it rn but there's this one WIP game that I really like where the MC buys a manor for like dollar and moves to go live there with her best friend and shenanigans ensue as they try to settle in and fix up the estate

Harbringer (WIP) - @harbringercog (....are you KIDDING me?? I was fully planning on just enjoying the demo and keeping a mental note to update the list sometime later,,, but this game... THIS GAME really made me fold. It's very immersive and regardless of how nervous the author claims to be after releasing the demo, it's of my humble opinion that those nerves can be calmed. It's very good. I was planning on procrastinating and reading a little bit and then going back to this essay I need to write, but somehow I got pulled in and ended up reading through the whole demo and it's apparent that I honestly had no chance of getting through this without becoming invested in the plot.... just... so good.. I'm very excited to see how this will progress)

Visual Novels:

Andromeda 6 (WIP) - @andromeda-six​  (I repeat: Obsessed, I come back every few months to see an update and I fall deeper into the hole every time...)

To the Edge of the Sky (WIP,, probably) - by Ajané (??) on Steam (I think, it’s been a while)

Next on my list to check out: Perfumare by pdrrook

Does.... does The Arcana game by Nix Hydra count as VN?? If so, then yes.

Similarly, the FictIF games are all entertaining, although Last Legacy and Heir to Love and Lies are my favorites rn (and.....unfinished....)

I also don't know if this counts, because I kind of consider Otome games to be their own genre, but on the Love 365: find your story by Voltage Inc. There are a bunch of fun stories, my favorite of which are: the Shinichi Kagari route on After School Affairs and the Saejima and Keiichiro routes on Bad Boys do it Better

..To be continued...

[lazywonderlvnd]

Imagine Harry learning to play the guitar after the war and Draco finds out when they start dating and is obv a slut for it. Anyway what I'm here to beg for is sexy-guitar-player-Harry smut please and thank

first of all nonners I’m so sorry this took me lit rally 59 years to answer!!!! when I saw it in my inbox last week I was abt to answer n be like yes. this. And then realized it needed to be written and got sidetracked w the first himbo harry installment but here it is now and let me just SAY this trope is my new FAVORITE thing in the world oh my goddddd when I tell u the way I’ve been yelling to glows and cielia abt it 👁👄👁

highly recommend listening to wonderwall when it comes up to Complete the Experience. hope u enjoy ❤️

“I’m sorry, he what?”

“Yeah, he’s really good,” said Weasley. He nodded towards the acoustic guitar hanging on the wall; Draco had taken notice of it the first time he’d seen Harry’s flat but never paid it much mind after that, taking it for decoration, or perhaps an unused gift. “He’ll play if you ask him. He doesn’t like showing off.”

“Which is silly,” Granger said, rolling her eyes. “I’ve told him, just because he’s good at it doesn’t make it showing off. I wish he’d play for people more often.”

“He has literally never mentioned this to me.” He felt utterly stunned and completely cheated. He tried to picture it and couldn’t. “How long’s he been playing?”

“Picked it up after the war. It was kind of funny, actually  --” Weasley started saying, but Harry came back into the room -- still pulling his shirt on -- and he broke off, giving Draco a significant look that told him to bring it up.

“Harry,” said Draco imperiously, to which he received two raised eyebrows as Harry fell into his favourite armchair and pushed a hand through his still-damp curls. Draco matched his expression and glanced at the guitar. Harry followed his gaze, looking genuinely confused.

“What, what is it?”

“When were you going to tell me you play?”

“What, guitar?”

“Yes, guitar.”

He shrugged and grabbed for one of the beers on the table, wandlessly magicking the cap off. “I dunno. When it came up, I guess.”

“The way your friends tell it you’re quite good.”

Harry gave Weasley and then Granger a sour look; both of them gave it right back to him, which was, admittedly, amusing.

“I can play all right,” he said vaguely, and took a swig of his drink. It did make some sort of sense, now Draco thought about it -- the tips of Harry’s fingers were far, far too calloused to have been just from casual Quidditch and Auror training. 

“You know, Harry, it actually comes off as more pretentious when you act like this,” said Granger. Weasley snorted. Harry glared at her. “Just play for him, won’t you? And us too -- it’s been ages.”

“Yeah, what’s that Muggle song you play sometimes that I like?” said Weasley.

“I dunno, I’ve played a lot of Muggle songs.”

“He means Wonderwall, Harry,” said Granger, grinning. Harry finally smiled too, and although their little Muggle joke was lost on Weasley and himself he was glad to see that it had apparently been the prodding Harry needed to give in. He set his beer back down and went to get the guitar; something about the way he threw the thin and fraying strap over his head, the way his hands went effortlessly to their places, was unexpectedly attractive. The left one curled easily around the neck of the instrument, heavily-roughened fingers finding their odd positions on the strings, something Draco had always thought looked very painful.

He plucked a few chords and then began fiddling with the knobs at the head of the guitar, tuning it in what was clearly the Muggle fashion, which against his will left Draco completely fascinated. Having no musical inclination himself, he could make nothing of the process except that Harry apparently heard the discordant notes in there well enough to be able to fix them, and finally when he brought his thumb down across all six strings it sounded as sweet and clear as if it had been done by magic.

“Course he likes Wonderwall,” Harry said to Granger even as he began playing, fingers shifting and moving and contorting to create the notes while he strummed softly, effortlessly, and the music crawled over Draco’s skin and inside of him. “I remember Dudley listening to it, like, what … summer before sixth year? On the radio constantly.”

“Sounds about right,” said Granger. 

 Draco had stopped paying attention to what they were saying, though. Either because the music itself had something haunting about its melody or because it was Harry playing it, or perhaps a combination of both, Draco felt a pit of emotion form in his chest to round off the edges of his growing arousal.

And then he started singing, and Draco swallowed very hard. Granger dropped a head onto Weasley’s shoulder and watched with a tender expression, Weasley similarly enamored. Harry had his eyes on his hands for the most part, closing them a few times throughout, looking as comfortable now as he did on a broomstick.

Only three months of official dating had not prepared Draco for the flood of emotions he now felt, yet the most pressing matter had become the semi trapped uncomfortably in his trousers. He wanted those talented fingers in his mouth, to feel the callouses on his tongue and taste Harry on them; he wanted to feel them on the sensitive skin of his inner thighs and hip bones, to have them buried so deeply in his arse that he forgot where he ended and Harry began. 

Of course, he had to keep this to himself for the next hour, until he was able to get Granger and Weasley out of the flat. And once he did, he didn’t bother dragging Harry to his bedroom -- Draco pushed him up against the front door that had just closed behind his friends and hauled him into a kiss that he felt Harry grinning into.

“I thought you seemed tetchy,” he muttered, hands dropping to Draco’s hips. “Oasis really does it for you, huh?”

“What the hell is oasis?”

“The band who does the song.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s the band who does it for me.” He kissed Harry again, maybe a little too hungrily, and dug a fist into his side when he started laughing. “Shut up, why the hell didn’t you ever tell me you played?”

Harry pulled his head back, looking at Draco with an arched brow and an infuriating smirk. 

“What do you mean, ever? We’ve only been together three months, it didn’t come up.”

“God,” Draco muttered, and now he reached down and pressed his palm against Harry’s cock, pleased to feel how hard he was in spite of his ruthless teasing. “You’re so annoying.”

“Well if I’d known how randy it would make you I might’ve played for you a long time ago.”

Having had quite enough of Harry’s particularly sarcastic brand of wit, he ignored this last and reached for one of his hands, removing it from his own hip and bringing it to his lips. It was extremely satisfying to watch the smirk disappear from Harry’s face when he sucked one of his fingers into his mouth. 

“Bit fetish-y, isn’t this?” Harry said breathily, eyes wide as he watched, looking half amused and half awed. In retaliation, Draco took another finger into his mouth and slid his tongue between them, tasting soap and salt, feeling the callouses on the tips of his fingers and letting that sensation grip his insides like an iron fist. “Jesus Christ,” Harry groaned; his free hand went to Draco’s jaw, holding him steady, and with a truly outstanding audacity began fucking Draco’s mouth with his fingers.

They dipped bluntly past his uvula, scraping the back of his throat so he gagged around their intrusion. Saliva built with an excessive speed that had it drooling out of the corners of his lips and coating Harry’s knuckles. Draco closed his eyes and let it happen, opening his throat against the relentless assault and curling his hands in Harry’s shirt just to steady himself. 

They were gone too soon and Harry’s mouth replaced them, much gentler but still with a tangible sense of urgency about it.

When he broke away, he said against Draco’s lips, “Like my fingers, do you?”

Draco merely nodded, feeling their wetness against his cheek. 

“Then turn around,” said Harry, “and I’ll fuck you with them.”

Draco let out a soft, embarrassing whimper and let Harry spin them around and press him against the door, cheek-first. He undid his flies himself and Harry tugged them down his legs and off his feet, allowing Draco to spread them slightly. Harry’s fingers were there immediately, sliding slick between his cheeks and over his hole. The memory of Harry’s hands on the guitar was still so fresh, his fingers changing chords effortlessly, sacrificing them to blisters and callouses and roughened skin for the music they created, and Draco closed his eyes against a fresh wave of arousal and another pang of emotion.

“You really are incredible,” said Draco, biting back a moan as two of those dexterous fingers slipped inside of him. Harry fucked him with them slowly, carefully, seeking out his prostate and angling for it each time once he’d found it. Draco turned his face to press his forehead against the door, eyes still closed, nails scraping wood. “And I like that song.”

“It’s a good one,” Harry agreed. His hot breath caressed the back of Draco’s neck, fingers pumping, his other hand back at Draco’s waist. “I have a million more I’d love to show you.”

Draco didn’t bother trying to find his voice again: instead he pushed back against Harry’s driving fingers, everything that wasn’t the relentless stabbing against his prostate driven from his mind. His neglected cock slapped against the door with every thrust, the red and irritated head dripping pre-come against the wood. Only half conscious of the decision to do so, he wrapped his hand around it and pulled and squeezed and zeroed in on the bursts of pleasure radiating outwards from inside his body until it all spilled over and he came in great pulses, gasping for breath while Harry kept at it. 

The fingers slowed as he reached his peak and began coming down but they didn’t stop, nor was his prostate given much of a break. Harry reinforced his grip on Draco’s waist and kept pumping, a steadier rhythm that nevertheless rubbed and prodded at that little bundle, making his nerves tingle and fizzle and scream out their overstimulation.

“Harry,” he said weakly, knees buckling. “Please …”

It could have been comical the way Harry followed his movement as he slid down the door to the ground, except it wasn’t. It was infuriating, actually, and felt at once like more than he could possibly handle and exactly what he needed. His forehead and his hands went back to the wood, bracing himself as Harry, kneeling behind him, continued fucking his beautiful, merciless fingers and stimulating Draco’s overworked prostate. 

He pushed a third one in alongside the other two and Draco was shocked to feel a hot tear leak out of the corner of his eye. Harry crooked them expertly, with all the confidence and surety of someone who had done this a million times, could do it in their sleep, as if it was not the guitar strings but Draco’s body he was strumming now, an instrument fine-tuned to his own particular cadence and rhythm, which he and no one else could play quite right.

Lips parted, hot breath echoing off the door and back into his face, Draco allowed himself to be taken apart with the same ferocious intensity he’d seen Harry use on the guitar. Each stroke brought him back to full hardness, each stab against his prostate made his nerves sing a tormented chorus, drowning out the pain of the wooden floor against his bare knees. 

“Shit,” Draco choked out, “I’m gonna come again …”

“Well that’s the idea,” said Harry. His voice was full of that same witty and well-meaning sarcasm Draco liked so much, even when it made him feel like punching him. Snatches of the song came back to him, Harry’s voice when he sang it, the expert shifting of his fingers where they pressed and plucked at the strings like he was making love to them. It was all so very much. 

He came a second time without even bothering to touch his cock, because he just didn’t fucking need it. His body thrummed and vibrated like a snapped rubber band while Harry coaxed him along his high and back down again. When he finally pulled his fingers out he leant forward over Draco’s back and kissed the side of his neck, then the corner of his jaw. 

“You know you make much lovelier sounds than the guitar, just so we’re clear,” he said, and Draco, with what strength he had left, shoved Harry and watched him fall sideways laughing.