#i'm the hoe

[bl00dalchemist]

Why are morning people like that.

[whateveriwant]

18+ mdni

I know I’m far from the first person to say this, but I love the idea of Simon and Ghost being like two separate people.

Like on the one hand you have Simon, the caring, devoted family man who holds his duty to his loved ones above all else, and on the other hand you have Ghost, the cold, detached soldier whose only driving forces in life are his need for blood, order, and karmic justice. Or one moment he’s Simon, the wisecracking goofball trading jokes with his comrades over the radio, and the next moment he’s Ghost, the sadistic interrogator hooking up enemy combatants to live car batteries.

And those are just a few in-universe examples we’ve seen of this divide in Simon Riley’s identity. Imagine what it’s like in his day-to-day life; what it must be like as his significant other trying to navigate such a personality schism.

Is it Simon who you’re about to pick up from the airport, the one who’ll eagerly take you into his arms the second you step into the terminal? Or is it him, Ghost, the one who’ll not hug you or kiss you or so much as hold your hand over the center console during the drive home?

Is it Simon who sits across the dinner table from you tonight, the one who, given the right amount of liquor, will regale you with (heavily redacted) stories of his time away? Or is it Ghost, the one who, no matter how well fed, fueled, and fucked he is, remains as tight-lipped as a corpse?

Is it Simon you’ll wake up beside tomorrow, finding him gazing at you like you’re a gift from God? Or is it Ghost who’ll leave behind cold, carefully tucked sheets for you to discover in the morning, wondering if he ever came to bed at all last night?

Is it Simon you feel beginning to stir behind you, who warms you up with soft kisses and sweeter touches before he makes gentle love to you? Or is it Ghost you feel pressing hard and hot against your lower back, who holds you down by the throat as he fucks you through the mattress?

Is it Simon who stumbles into the kitchen when you accidentally nick yourself with a knife, who helps wash and bandage your finger until it’s as good as new? Or is it Ghost who spots the crimson spilling from your hand, who sticks your bloodied finger in his mouth so he can suck it clean?

Is it Simon who’s dying to spend hours with his head between your thighs, much preferring to give over to receive? Or is it Ghost who’s pushing you down to your knees, clutching your head between both hands, and skull-fucking you until you’re dripping with spit and almost passing out from lack of oxygen?

Just the thought of these two distinct, almost opposing personalities coexisting in the same body is super intriguing to me. And how at the drop of a hat, he could switch from one to the other, leaving you guessing who it is you’re really dealing with at any given moment.

[akisteahouse]

you're going to die. well, at least that's what you think - your head so heavy and hurting that it almost feels like it could burst open any minute now, like the sickening breaking apart of an overly ripe pomegranate.

thankfully, your boyfriend seems to think otherwise.

tittering and tutting over your weak frame, replacing the wet towel over your head with a cooler, colder one every so often, fingertips gently brushing back strands of sweat-slicked hair from your worryingly hot forehead.

"get well soon, hm?"

riddle rosehearts, TREY CLOVER, jack howl, JAMIL VIPER, VIL SCHOENHEIT, silver, MITSUKI KIRYU, HAYATO SUO, HAJIME UMEMIYA and your favs <33

[talesfromthecrypts]

Facts on hand: traditional antagonisms among several ant species have come to a dramatic halt. At the same time there has been an apparent disappearance of those insects which pray on ants. Specifically, mantises, beetles, millipedes and spiders.

Phase IV (1974) dir. Saul Bass

[obey-me-hoe]

When I say I want a yapper this is what I mean

Imagine getting to sit there and listen to him happily yap about his favorite things (or anything really) 🥰

[icepandawarrior]

MKAY MS. KATERINA KNOWLES 😏

[hoe-in-deepspace]

So Caleb just casually says the cutest fucking shit at any given opportunity ???

Like ??? How am I supposed to just continue on with the conversation after these ??? I'm literally a giggling and blushing mess rn ??? God forbid he smiles at me too like I'm done I'm not functioning anymore send help

[captainrufflebanger]

I've been haunted by a vision from a text post that crossed my dash last week.

Alt text version below

Yes ma'am 🫡

[wilhelminyard]

to this day I'm still haunted by the lines "best friends since childhood, bucky barnes and steven rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield" and "your pal your buddy your bucky"

[shaylogic]

kiss_eyes1.jpg kiss_eyes2.jpg

[silly--fangirl]

i imagine lucien has a warm voice. i can't really explain it, but it just makes sense for his voice to be like bathing in the sun or sitting near a fireplace after a cold day.

[charbies]

freezing to death for the sake of a sexy lil outfit

inprnt

[verysadlesbian]

It's so funny that Christian Linke became so unhinged after someone told him about people shipping Jayvik that he started just spewing all that shit (some related to the ship, some unrelated to it, but shit nonetheless) and all he'll get out of it is that people will ship it even more aggressively, out of SPITE, 'cause that's how fandom spaces filled with queer people work and it seems that he didn't know that. It's hilarious.

Edit: not even 10 minutes after making this post, I went to check the tag on ao3 and there's already a fic named "the spite fic". I cannot make this shit up 😭😭😭😭

[obey-me-hoe]

SOLMARE STOP TEASING HOW AMAZING OF A SINGER RAPHAEL IS IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE HIM A CHARACTER SONG 😭😭😭

(Memorable World [Card] NB)

[revelingrexan]

some AU in which they're still friends somehow. i couldn't get this image out of my head XD

(impulsive brain image and idea veeeeery loosely based on bbbglucifer6669's AdamsApple band AU <3)

[neutron-stars-collision]

A random list of things about Luke that make me crazy every day (thirst edition):

His eyes. Like damn you know I have to start there. But those eyes... remarkable shade of blue, as we all know, but also there's that golden ring around his pupil. And there's the fact that you can see so much reflected in his eyes. It's insane, actually.

His eyelashes. At the right angle you can literally see how long they are, and all that considering his hooded eyes, is, frankly, outrageous.

His nose. The one that some wonderful soul on here said should be used as a model for people getting rhinoplasty. Which is why that whole bit about getting the procedure in "The Shape of Things" made me laugh bc like how can you improve perfection??

His lips. Those damn plush, pink lips that drive me wild and that have inspired thousands of lip flip allegations. Wild, innit? English men all over the world sure wish they just looked like that naturally.

The chin scar. That wonderful, unique feature that always draws my attention and that I would love to know the backstory of.

His jawline. That thing is sharp af, let no one ever tell you otherwise.

Elfie ears. Crazy stuff, man's practically an elf. It's another one of those unique features that once you notice it, you can never ignore it again. It's just too adorable.

His hair. Those thick, glorious locks that seem wavy and so soft I would kill to touch them. And he always looks good, no matter the hairstyle. That's some sorcery fr.

The chest hair. I genuinely used to dislike that on men. And then he came. And it turned out he's the exception lmao god bless the Bridgerton hair and make-up for letting him keep it.

Them tiddies. Whew. Hell. What a cleavage for a man. Insane stuff. Makes fits like the Bowral one look straight up indecent.

The arms + the tattoo. The cinnamon roll photo lives rent free in my brain. And the tattoo only completed the picture. I'd pay him to choke me. Who said that??

The slutty waist. Another illegal part of him that makes my life difficult since April 2024. Bc how dare a man have a waist this tiny? How dare he be so perfectly shaped?

All 5 metres of his legs. I've said it before - he's 75% legs. Literally a giant to my 5'2. And my man knows how to use that to his advantage with all those high-waisted pants and wide bottoms.

His hands. I mean... those things just live in my dreams rent free at this point. And how could they not? Hand kink meet the man with most beautiful hands, and well... I'm screwed.