#i'm using most of my time nowadays to go to work

[fiotarya]

i'm re-reading The Locked Tomb, take a Gideon chibi!

[omgthatdress]

Sooooo ummmmmmm this is something that's probably going to piss a lot of people off, but I feel like I really need to say it.

If you get a message from an account claiming to be a Palestinian fundraiser, it is a bot. It is a scam. You need to report & delete the message and encourage others to do the same.

I know because I get messages on this account DAILY. I have a very high follower count and I'm pretty active and I interact with my followers a lot, and apparently that all adds up to one big bot magnet.

Bots following and messaging this account was a MASSIVE problem before Tumblr fixed its new account policies. I used to spend literally hours blocking and reporting the hundreds of bots that I would get following me each day.

I learned a lot about bots and how to identify them. The easiest way is with no avatar, "untitled" in the blog description (BTW if your avatar is still set to default PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD change it because you run a substantial risk of being accidentally blocked & reported as a bot).

One of the dead give aways of a bot was what I call "word salad" names. Three seemingly random words strung together making no sense, always adjective, adjective or noun, noun. If you reported a lot of these bots, you'd notice the same words kept showing up.

Nowadays, I am bombarded with fundraiser requests and sometimes, they don't even bother to hide the fact that they're a bot. The avatar is default, the blog title is "untitled," and the blog name is a classic randomly-generated word salad.

However MOST of the requests I get come from at least semi-legit looking accounts. There are pictures, a name, a story. Never mind that I've gotten that message three times from different accounts.

Sometimes, they claim to be vetted, but the whole vetting system essentially adds up to "trust me bro." There is no way of guaranteeing that this account isn't just lying about being vetted, claiming to be vetted by a false person, or are using the identity of a real Palestinian to scam people.

Previously, I've seen a lot of people getting attacked for raising questions about these fundraisers and getting attacked for being racist or for harming Palestinian families in danger, like Tumblr isn't a website famous for its scams and the words "The Arkh Project" "All or Nothing" or "Miss Officer and Mr. Truffles" mean nothing to you.

I personally have been scammed by people claiming to be charities on Tumblr before, specifically, The Leelah Project which used the name of a trans teenager who died by suicide to swindle people out of their money.

Luckily, there are actual, respected charities out there you can give money to if you want to help the cause:

Palestinian Children's Relief Fund

Palestine Red Crescent Society

United Nations Relief Works Agency

Islamic Relief

World Central Kitchen

Médecins Sans Frontièrs

One of the hardest things to accept about the situation in Palestine is that realistically, there is very little that your average outsider can do to change it. However, these large, well-respected and trustworthy charities are out there doing the hard work to keep people alive, and should be where the donation money is going

These scam bots feed on people's naïvety and need to believe that they are making a difference, and even worse, feed on the fear that by ignoring them, it somehow makes you a racist doing direct harm to a refugee family, when in fact they are using the suffering of Palestinians to take away money from those in need.

As far as fundraisers that don't send out random asks for donations, I honestly don't know. You'll have to do the work yourself and approach with much caution.

Be careful out there.

[ventbloglite]

One of the other issues I have with 'men are happier/better when they embrace femininity, being feminine is freeing for everyone' is that the standards for what count as feminine to begin with are so entrenched in misogyny and toxic masculinity that we fail to realise that some of what we deem 'feminine' is just...average things everyone can experience that has nothing to do with gender (feeling emotions, enjoying soft physical touch like cuddling) or could have nothing to do with gender if society loosened up and thought logically for a moment (wearing certain colours).

Like, the bar is just so fucking low tbh.

We have the evidence that allows us to track when pink was for boys, high heels were originally made for men, men used to wear make up with bright frilly clothing and act in certain ways that would have them labelled as effeminate (derogatory) nowadays. Sidenote: Obviously not in every culture, I'm speaking from a white Western experience.

And that's my gripe.

In a misogyny led society, things are deemed feminine as a way to denounce their worth. If women start to do something that men do or previously did and they cannot be forced to stop doing that (because forcing them to stop doing 'man things' is the first go to for misogynists) then either it is abandoned as 'for women' until people forget men were a part of it or it was previously gender neutral, or a special 'feminine' version of it is created to make it acceptable to share (see: trousers).

Men that then try to take part in that thing in some way are bullied for it and either have their gender questioned until dysphoria (because even cis people get gender dysphoria) makes them stop and hide their natural inclinations/likes or they get labelled as some Other in terms of their gender (it wasn't so long ago that being a gay man was seen as basically another gender aside from man or woman) or a term that is more than partially derogatory is created to describe such 'unusual' behaviour from a man (e.g. metrosexual).

When the actual truth is...all humans have emotions. All humans should be able to freely express them. Working together to share chores and earning money and raising children creates better stronger relationships. Physical touch is pleasant, even if sex isn't involved. Colours are just colours, fabrics are just fabrics, nothing about your biology dictates liking certain clothes or media genres or anything like that. Grooming yourself even to a certain extreme is fine, it's okay to want to look good and smell nice. Our body language should not be policed into 'male' and 'female' and neither should our language, knowledge, hobbies and interests.

It's not that 'men are more free when feminine, because femininity is freeing', it's that things we've been taught are 'only for women' or 'inherently feminine' aren't and what men are then officially 'allowed' restricts them tighter and tighter as time goes on.

See for example, the happiness of a trans man or gnc woman/butch lesbian. When masculinity is experienced on purpose in a way that is fully chosen and therefore expressed as desired it creates the same euphoric feelings as those embracing 'feminine' things after being told for years that they can/should not. Because expressing ourselves as we feel most natural is what is actually freeing.

[ninasodiiva]

what's next in your love life?⋆. 𐙚 ̊

PAC reading

hii babesss, i hope you're doing good and having a wonderful day! today i was in a romantic mood after binge watching pride and prejudice edits on tiktok (yass girl procrastinate your homework!) so to debut my blog im sharing with you this pac reading all about what's next in your love life. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

how to choose a group:

take a deep breath and relax your body, look at all the pictures and pick the one you are the most drawn to, don't think about it to much. you might be attracted to the picture or the number. REMEMBER this is a general reading, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. nothing is set in stone. if you are not drawn to any of the pictures this might not be the reading for you loves. that said, let's get into it!

- group 1: pink rollers 🎀

as soon as I started the reading the song "Love Like You" from Steven Universe started playing on shuffle. and after laying the cards i noticed the synchronicity between the song and your reading so go listen to it! babes im going to be 100% honest... im feeling most of you feel stuck, like nothing happens and your love life is pretty much non existent and let me tell you why.

you still want your ex or past fling back. you are being extremely stubborn because you have romanticized them to death, you think that person is the one for you and trust me please... they are not. many cards regarding cheating and toxic patterns have come out and your spirit team and your higher self is asking you to let them go, they are not the one for you. i'm being shown a really codependent energy from you (for a few of you to the point of letting the other person dictate what to do with your life, friendships etc) it's like you don't believe yourself capable of making your own decisions and riding the wave of life. i'm being shown that picture of a dog begging for chocolate without knowing eating it can kill him. You have put this person on a pedestal and beg for they attention and love like a lost puppy, and it makes me really sad cause i see that you just want to feel appreciated, but babes please listen to me... that person is NOT for you, i'm feeling a really controlling energy from them. not all attention is good and deep down you know that this person uses you for their convenience, they have you when they feel like it and they're playing with you BAD. some of you could have grown in a family where no one paid attention to you, so subconsciously you feel in order to have love you have to earn it by pleasing others and letting them cross your boundaries... well (without sounding reckless) i feel you have no boundaries at all my loves and we have to work on that!!!

you have to listen to this song, specially the last part where she gives a small speech, you need to hear that ੈ✩‧₊˚

your next chapter of your love life might not be what you expect but it is most certainly what you NEED. you are entering this learning phase, where you will question your patterns in all aspects of your life but mostly romantic wise. it's a beautiful season in which the veil to your true self will be opened thanks to the self concept work you are doing (if you are not doing it, this is the sign to start, i don't want to see you like this no more). it's a time for learning valuable lessons that will align you with your own path, your true self and a true love. you are discovering what it means to love yourself, cause let's be real, nowadays putting a face mask and some candles it's considered "self love" but in reality it's about accepting yourself, the light and the dark, and knowing that you might not be the person you want to right now... but you possess the power to transform into the precious being that's hidden inside of you, scared to come out. journal your thoughts (write them for you be truthful with yourself), start that hobbie you have wanted to for a long time, call that friend/family member and ask for help, start being YOU babe.

your life is a movie be excited for it, sometimes your up sometimes you're down but that's the cycle of life. how lucky are we to feel emotions in the first place! be the master of your own fate, and give yourself grace while doing so babe 🩷

lots of love and strength, Nina 🦢୨୧⋆｡˚

group two: love letters 💌

my group two, welcome gorg!

well right away i have to say you have a beautiful energy, and you reading was so clear. so let's get into it.

my love what i heard is that right now you are embracing your single life on purpose, you are done with waiting for someone to come into your life, done with dealing with immature people who only disturb the peace and temple you built. i'm seeing you are a mix of charlotte and samantha from sex in the city and girl i love that for you! i see you literally shinning ✨ you are in your element. i'm hearing the song "aquamarine" by Addison Rae. "i'm not hiding anymore, i won't hide" and "the world is my oyster, and i'm the only girl", well listen to the complete song because it resonates 100%, OUUU PERIOD

thanks to that change in perspective your life is taking an exciting turn for the best!!! because you finally know your worth!!

what's next for you in your love life is options, attention and fun!! your energy rn is so magnetic and hypnotic, you're someone i would like to be friends with. you are expanding your horizons maybe traveling (doesn't have to) but i see you so so SO abundant. your social life is improving a lot, like i see you receiving TONS of attention cause you are feeling yourself (yass girl). you ended a cycle of desperation for love and you're now sitting on your throne enjoying the view. expect new friendships, new options, new flings (if that's what you're into). people will be startstruck with you it's insane. nonetheless it's important for you not to take this time for granted and stay true to yourself, stay strong in your boundaries and be careful with the options you are given, not all of them are for you make sure to use your intuition and discernment.

now i'm also seeing for my babes that are interested in relationship only a possible suitor coming in as a result of all the options you are getting, he is one of them. he could be a water sign (doesn't have to), a really empathetic and gentle person full of passion and honestly very very romantic. i see him watching you from afar. the attraction here is REALLY high and although i'm not being shown much information i do see commitment here. spirit is being secretive about this person, you don't need to know much right now let it be a surprise!

babes i'm so so excited and happy for you, you deserve this after a long hermit period. enjoy the spotlight!!! let me know how things unfold and please keep shining like your doing now 🪄🤍

lots of love, Nina 🦢୨୧⋆｡˚

group three: heart locket 🔒💗

hi my loves, welcome to your group! let's dive in.

babes right now you are in a healing period, i have a feeling you know that already and you're totally embracing it. that is good, don't resist it <3 i feel you moved on from a situation or person that left you hopeless and heartbroken, i know how hard sitting with those feelings is and to that i have to give you your flowers for the work you are doing in healing and building yourself back up! your strength is admirable, but your spirit team is here asking you to slow tf down lol.

you see, healing it's not linear and although that perseverance of yours is a gift, it's harming you more than helping you rn. you are not a problem that needs fixing, and my loves i feel you are carrying TONS of burdens by constantly wanting to heal.

the next chapter you are stepping into is asking you to slow down, be present and FEEL your emotions, don't analyze them. spirit is saying that by doing so you will notice the signs they are sending you and the advice they want you to take to help you at this time. babes you are like a chicken without head running around confused, like you're running out of time?? give yourself grace, slow down, breathe please 🤍 divine timing is at play here, trying to heal faster won't bring you your next love tomorrow.

remember that no matter what age you are, you're still that little kid you once where, that child is inside you hearing all those thoughts. imagine they are in front of you, how would you take care of them? ☁️ spirit is saying this chapter is very much needed, you have to love yourself TRULY cause why wouldn't you? there is NO reason not to love yourself love, you are protected spiritually, the only thing your spirit team wants you to do rn is to REST, slow down, take time out and feel your emotions. they have it all under control, let go of control issues and trust them pls 💌

something about family issues is showing up here so that might resonate to someone, also they are asking you to be open minded when it comes to love (don't worry you will end up with your true match).

my loves that's is everything, i feel your pain because i've been there and i promise you that the advice spirit is giving you will help you! take time to smell the roses 🌹 love is everywhere, and im not trying to sound cliche, i understand the frustration of wanting to experience love! but you will never feel it they way you are meant to if you don't have that love for yourself. OMG i was hearing the song "get free" by Lana del Rey and it played right away whatttt. that's definitely a song you need to listen to.

lots of love, Nina 🦢୨୧⋆｡˚

[digi-diareis]

Teen MC snapping at Caleb

Context: Yk how when you're teenagers, guys think the only way to flirt with the person they like is by teasing them? Well, imagine if Caleb had an era like this until it went too far and mc finally snapped at him.

Beware: this is gonna be SO BAD. im not a writer at all and english isn't my first language either. its just that i've had this scenario in my head for a few days now and i needed it out of my system. Also, I decided to use they/them pronouns for mc. So its more inclusive that way and also bcs even I personally don't always refer to my mc as she/her. So yeah, for the bitches, bros and non binary hoes.

Imagine this, Caleb and you bantering like usual on your way home but you're having an off day which makes it easier for you to get pissed off and fed up with all the teasing. Unfortunately, Caleb doesn't notice this and keeps teasing you until you just snap.

So mc, exasperated, scoffs at him and turns around to leave with their arms folded across their chest and eyebrows scrunched so hard they almost look like a unibrow.

"I'm done talking you. Go find someone else to pick on, Caleb. I'm not in the mood."

Sensing the sudden shift of mood, Caleb is speechless for a bit and left floundering, looking for the right words to say. He thought this was just your usual banter so why were you suddenly taking the jokes seriously? Hell, he can't let you stay in a bad mood for the entire day because that means he's getting the silent treatment and he'd rather die (well not really but he almost feels like it) than have you completely ignore his entire existence. Again.

He approaches you slowly, using a gentle voice to not alarm you the same way one would with a hissing kitten.

"Pipsqueak? Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry... Tell me what it was and I promise I won't say it again. Don't be mad anymore, we don't want you to develop any more wrinkles, do we?"

And oh, the way you stiffened up, very much reminiscent of a stray cat on full alarm against anybody trying to steal its food. Caleb gulps, knowing somewhere along the lines, he triggered a tripwire and a bomb's about to blow.

"Uhm! You know what, nevermind me! How about we go buy your favorite snack? Oh, what a coincidence your favorite stall is right around the corner-"

You turn around with a glare that makes him immediately shut up, looking like you're about to rip him a new one.

"WRINKLES?! First, you make fun of my height. Calling me pipsqueak around everyone and never shutting your damn mouth about how not a day has passed where I was taller than you. Then you start being weirdly aggressive towards my other guy friends, which by the way, what the fuck? Now most of them won't even talk to me anymore! What is your problem?! And now, you're calling me OLD and UGLY?!"

"I-I never said -"

"Shut your damn mouth and listen to me, Caleb! You have been getting on my nerves lately! I've been trying to convince myself that this is all just friendly banter but sometimes, you go too far that I don't even know if I can still laugh it off! We used to be best friends but now, its so easy for you to make fun of me. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this but oh my god, if you hate me this much then just stop hanging around me!"

Mc is heaving by the end of their entire speech, extremely worked up and upset that they're red in the face. They had been bottling this up for the past few weeks so letting it out almost felt cathartic.

Caleb is stuck in place, throat dry and mouth open but words won't come out. Was that how it's been like for you? Had he taken the jokes too far recently? Maybe it was wrong to listen to the other guys in his class who said that teens tend to fall for guys who act terrible, the bad boy stereotype is popular nowadays.

He looks down, feeling guilty and pathetic that he ended up making you feel like you hated him when you were the person who embodied everything he loved. You made him feel like flying and falling, all at the same time. So how could he hurt you like this? He had to make things right before it was too late.

"I'm sorry. Its all my fault. I shouldn't have said all those hurtful things to you, even if it was a joke or not. At the end of the day, they hurt you and that's not right. Please believe me when I say that I could never hate being around you. That couldn't be more wrong, not when all I ever want to do is be by your side. So please don't tell me to stop hanging around you, just thinking about it feels like my chest is being squeezed that it hurts. I promise I won't make the same mistakes again, so please forgive me?"

He's nervous, fiddling with his hands while he looks you in the eye. He reminds you of a wet puppy under the rain, begging you to bring him home with you. You knew the moment he pulled those puppy dog eyes that you would eventually lose, you could never say no to him. Not when you were kids and not now.

You sigh, shoulders slumping and the frown gone from your face. Now you just look tired, which only makes him more worried, maybe you're tired of him? No, that can't be. What would happen to him if you decide he's not worth keeping around anymore? He just might stop functioning all together.

You turn your back and start walking home, he feels his heart drop thinking this is it. You're leaving him behind– that is until you turn your head to the side, side eyeing him with a blush on your face.

"What're you standing there for, I thought you were going to buy me my favorite snack? Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not forgiving you just yet. Not until I've had my fill."

After that day, Caleb completely changes. Or maybe its more accurate to say he reverted back to how he used to be when you guys were kids. Doting, attentive and extremely supportive. He still banters with you from time to time but he never goes out of his way to start one. Although, there is one thing that doesn't change and that's how over protective he still is, he's still acting like a guard dog and being threatening towards all the guys in your class but at this point, you're just happy to have your best friend back again.

And just like that, Caleb's popularity spikes in your class because suddenly, every girl wants a guy who comes at their beck and call and attends to their needs. No more bad boy persona for them, they just want someone who worships the ground they walk on the same way Caleb does for you.

[zhukzucraft]

=> Martyn: Commit "Grand Theft Ender Pearl"

Gem: Looks like we've got company,

Grian: Who?

Gem: Pearl, Scott, Cleo and Martyn... Speaking of Martyn, guess what Skizz is whispering about him?

Gem: "Dude, Martyn is at the Hunker Bunker right now being BIG mad because Scar stole his 'Thing',"

Gem: "So watch out for Martyn if he comes knockin'!"

Scar: What's a "Hunker Bunker"? Is it a-

Martyn: "Watch out for Martyn?" That IS good advice! But, the warning was a bit late yea?

Martyn: You know what they say - an eye for an eye,

Martyn: You steal My Thing and I'll steal yours- I'll meet you at the bastion!

Grian: Put that down!

Martyn: Ta ta for now! ~♪

Gem: Eurg, he such a Theatre Kid-

Scar: ...

Scar: MARTYYYNN!!! Get back here you purpur loining scoundrel!

Grian: SCAR! ...Gem, we gotta follow him before he gets himself into trouble again,

Grian: Plus Martyn stole our ender pearl! We worked hard for that!

Gem: Counterpoint: We also have to wait for our Pearl. She's going to have no idea where we went if we run too far from the portal

Grian: I can't just let Scar run off alone and hand The Enchanter to Martyn on a silver platter!

Gem: We promised we wouldn't leave Pearl behind,

(Scar: *grumble grumble* no honor among adventurers nowadays, just because this is a death game doesn't mean you can't have manners!)

Grian: I know, I know, you made a promise... but between Pearl and Scar, who are you more worried about surviving in the Nether?

Gem: ...

Gem: Fine. Follow Scar. I'll go find Pearl and then we can catch up with you two. Go be stupid, just not too stupid: if you die, I'll be the first to laugh in chat

(Grian: I said you get used to it but...)

Grian: Scar, you cannot just waltz into a PIGLIN INFESTED BASTION in iron gear and expect things to magically work out without a plan!

Scar: Improvising, Grian! It’s the path of pioneers! The mark of a true marauder! If you're good enough at it, everyone will assume it was strategy. Tends to work out fiiiine! ...most of the time,

Grian: "Most of the time" isn't good enough,

Scar: Okay, so we plan while we run! Multitasking, Grian, multitasking~

Grian: That's just improvising a few seconds earlier!!!

Scar: I don't hear any planning going on~♪ Just complaining,

Grian: ...I'm going to blame you when this inevitably goes horribly wrong

=====>

Start Over -- Go Back

[thebearme]

…petey headcanons? *holds plate out like a starving Victorian child*

Don't worry victorian child, you will be fed.

Petey is ace, particularly greysexual.

Petey has that scary cute cat yawn where they just unhinge their jaw then belp :P

He has shrimp posture sitting and standing, his back is wack.

Not so fun fact, his back is messed up because of his tail being chopped. The tail is connected to the spinal cord after all.

He was a BIG gifted child when he was little, he always wanted praise for his accomplishments. Which made alot of the kids around him hate him, and lead to the whole critter scouts thing.

And after awhile he became the exact opposite, he acted up in school for justified reasons but because his teachers wouldn't care to understand and just punished him. They saw him as a trouble child and the kids thought he was a bad kid, so with the change in perspective Petey started to believe it.

Luckily he had Big Jim growing up, he may have been mean to him at the time but nowadays Petey truly appreciates him and wants to apologize for behavior towards him.

Petey HATES getting sick for many reasons but the main one is that it makes him feel weak. So if Dogman or Lil Petey got sick he'll probably be in a hazmat suit before giving them a box of tissues.

Petey believe it or not, has a fixation on robots. AND I MEAN ALL ROBOTS, he would watch robot movies, have robot pjs, robot posters, robots toys on his shelf, robots anything and everything. I was able to show abit of it in my human Petey design with two of his tattoos (one of them being the robot from the day the earth stood still) and him in a transformer shirt. Why else would he make the most mundane things into robots? Cuz they're COOL!

Speaking of which, Petey fucking cried when he heard Opportunity's last words.

Petey gave up on getting an outside job and went freelance, It's not like the job market was that great anyway.

I imagine Petey, to the surprise to everyone but Dogman, is pretty strong. He may look twiggy, but he is an engineer! You NEED upper body strength to do work. Heres a post I made about it

Petey has a depression shaped pit in is bed. He didn't buy that pit, it's something he earned with hard work and so can you. Lil Petey likes loafing in it.

Petey can easily keep working in his workshop for the whole day without eating or using the bathroom if you don't make him take a break. When he's in the zone he forgets he got a body that has needs and can drop dead if he doesn't fulfill those needs.

Petey knew how to cook from his mom but didn't really start cooking till he got Lil Petey. He just ate takeout EVERYDAY cause he was too busy and depressed to cook, and his butler didn't give af to cook for him if he's just gonna to complain. But of course after getting Lil Petey he wasn't going to fed him takeout! So it went from frozen chicken nuggets and apple sauce to homemade pork stirfry and curry rice.

That care in cooking for others also goes to Dogman as well, neither of them had healthy eating habits so they made a deal to help each other in their journey. Dogman would eventually get told by the doctor that he needs to cut the dogfood cause his human body can digest all of that, so Petey is now cook pack lunches for him as well. And personally meals that taste good for his dog tongue, and Dogman gives him the biggest kisses for that.

I'm currently working on a comic for this next one but Petey feels like has no friends. He never just hanged out with any of the gang just to hangout by themselves. He feels like everyone is close friends with each other but not him, they all hang out around him because they're friends with Dogman. And the only reason they knows so much about him is because he trauma dumps on them. But he'll later learn that they do care about him outside of being close to Dogman and they'll hangout and get to know each other more.

Petey has sensitive beans, particularly to the cold. He's gonna be wearing socks and mittens if there's no heating which is funny cause cats usually hate them.

Petey is actually fluffy but just licks his fur down.

He's tail always is bent and not in a normal way but if you crushed paper and tried to lay it back, it still is bent and slowly goes back to that bent form. The only way to make Petey's tail go completely straight is if you surprise him or made him relax to the ninth degree.

Petey still has cat behavior just like how Dogman has dog behavior but unlike him, Petey controls his behavior. He basically masks everyday because of a whole social class stuff I can't explain rn. Cuz he wants to be taken seriously and not just seen as some house pet.

He once made a throne out of boxes and sat in it till Lil Petey or Dogman came back home. No reason for it, he just wanted to feel like a king.

Petey loves midday naps but the sun cuz he's a cat and old. It's true that you'll need more midday naps when you're older.

If I had to give a inuniverse reason for how he understands sign language it's because Petey learned from his mom. When Petey was younger and had a moment where he mad and overwhelmed he would have a hard time explaining his thoughts. Grace taught him sign language so he can explain his thoughts even if all he can verbally do is scream.

When Grace died, Petey was put into adoption and stayed there for a while because of his age and his behavioral problems. But he eventually got adopted by Dr Dilbert Dinkles, he was perfect for his needs, not a child so he won't cry, a cat can take care of themselves and behaving poorly is exactly what villains in training need to be bad. So Petey got adopted by the worst person possible and we know how the rest of the story goes.

Despite that fact that Dilbert is a doctor, Petey had the upper hand on him. He has street smarts, and when you know to build robots and know to use the robots to their full evil potential then you become a true villain to fear.

Petey and Flippy could very well be friends but Petey is literally just holding a grudge against him for some reason? Seriously idk why they're not friends, I think Flippy wants to be friends with him too but it just Petey that's in the way of that in canon. Like- please stop being an ahole for a second and just talk!

Petey also try his hand at gardening... Dogman keeps rolling on his flowers.

And that pretty much all the headcanons I can think of, I still do have my visual hc but yall always know it

heres a lil collage I made from my petey moodboard

And you already know the playlist

[lynxgriffin]

Hiatus Notice

Hi all, didn't want to make this post on my birthday, but I do need to do it now: I'm going to need to take a hiatus from drawing due to my wrist being hurt again.

Anyone who watches my streams knows that I still try and do my stretches while working all the time, so getting hurt again so badly that I can't work at all is nothing short of completely devastating to me. I have spent most of my time crying nonstop about it. All I can do now is the proper next steps...stop and rest, talk to my doctor about it, and hopefully get any physical or massage therapy I need so that I can recover and get back to work ASAP.

I don't know what my timetable for recovery would be right now, but I'm really hoping it's not as long as last time. I just know I won't be able to share any art until I'm better and can draw regularly again.

This just sucks because I already feel like I've been slow at things, and I had multiple things in the works...Eldritchrune comics, and also a project I was working on for the next anniversary. I apologize that it's going to be a wait before I can share any art again...even once I get back into drawing, my job still comes first.

I will update here more once I hopefully know what to do from my doctor, and I can still answer asks, but no art for awhile. I'm so sorry about the wait...trust me when I say this is my biggest nightmare, and I've been an emotional wreck about it.

And artists: please learn from my miseries and take care of yourselves, especially if you draw professionally. Take breaks, stretch frequently, drink lots of water, do NOT overwork, listen to your body, listen to your doctors and therapists. The world doesn't treat us as such, especially nowadays, but you are athletes. Take care of your body the same way an athlete would.

Thanks again for your patience.

[vadersangel]

Temporary - Roman Godfrey x Reader - Oneshot

Synopsis: Everything is temporary, but some things are just too good to let go. Roman Godfrey slowly finds out he might not be as dominant as he thought, and chickens out when faced with the reality of his desires.

Disclaimer: Guys, I had to be warned TWICE by a mutual that I had misspelled very easy, common, simple, absolutely normal words. I'm still sick and fatigued, so bear with me. God's work has to be done, and there's no rest for the wicked. So here it is: my newest baby. My attempt to gift my fellow Roman girlies who believe our boy is a switch. I hope you enjoy it. I know I need to create a tag list, but my brain is mush nowadays. I promise to get to it soon. Love y'all. As per usual, special thanks for @peachesinto for the undying support. Love you, bestie.

Genre: smut smut smut, pure filth and more smut, switch Roman Godfrey, soft femdom reader.

Trigger Warnings: sex, foul language.

Word count: 2457

Boy, love isn’t easy, it's hard She said: Boy, love isn't easy, it's heartache Boy, see everyone leaves and your heart breaks (Lovin' you is heartache) But I still hold on Oh, I still hold on – Chase Atlantic

Having Roman Godfrey’s emerald green eyes on you feels simultaneously like having the first breath of cold fresh air on a winter morning and an asthma attack. The air fills your lungs so completely that there’s no room to accommodate it, and you try to exhale but it’s impossible, so you choke on it. You drown on it. On the note of drowning, being with him also reminded me of when I was a child and took swimming lessons. At one point, I learned how to empty my lungs and sink to the bottom of the pool to sit there. The pressure in my ears was intense, but it was so peaceful… It only lasted a few seconds, of course, before I had to swim to the surface again. Last time I counted, I managed to stay thirty seconds underwater, my personal record.

Just like sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool, being peacefully with Roman couldn’t last too long. Eventually, I would need to breathe. Or he would. Or both of us would. And I knew since day one that something would come up to disrupt our situationship. Most people would be too anxious, too demanding, having high hopes and dreams that would have pushed him to the opposite direction a lot sooner. Not me, though. Seven years of therapy had taught me better and I was proud to be very much in control of my emotions; I never expected from people any more than they were capable of giving me, and on the other hand, I never gave too much of myself either. To me, everyone aside from my family was more or less just passing through, a temporary fix before I went off to college and really started living my life. Just temporary, no matter how nice they were, how beautifully their green eyes glistened under the dim sunlight, or how well they fucked, they would all go away at some point. In a way, Roman and I were cut from the same cloth: he ran away whenever anyone got too close, and I never really had to run away because I never got too close to begin with.

Still, those full sinful lips of his, that always curled into an equally sinful smile when he came, felt just too deliciously plump to deny. And then again, those eyes were a tidal wave, dragging me, drowning me. 

When he showed me a side of him not many others had been allowed to see, I knew it was the beginning of the end. It started with the first time he asked me to be on top;

“Can you… Like… Ride me?” The uncertainty in his voice, the way his pupils dilated leaving only a small ring of green visible, made me shiver. He came harder that night than he had ever before, lying on my bed with swollen parted lips and his breathing coming out in ragged gasps. For weeks, it was all he dared to bring up.

Until one day when I was showing him a few sailor knots I had learned last summer from a cousin who joined the Marines. I showed him the Highwayman’s Hitch, then the Slip Knot and finally the Handcuff Knot. To show him the latter, I tied his wrists together and the look on his face was priceless. Then his eyebrows drew together in skepticism as he asked me why the hell did my cousin teach me that. I laughed in response, rolling my eyes at him. But that seemed to have rented a penthouse in his head because a couple of days later he asked me to show him that knot again. So I did. I tied his wrists together firmly. He didn’t have to voice what was going on in that wicked mind of his because his eyes spoke for themselves when he leaned back against the bed’s headboard with a defiant look in his eyes–the fucking little brat! He was already so hard when I slid down his pants, his tip leaking pre-cum and making me salivate. I ran my tongue along his shaft, then swirled it around his tip, tasting his fluid and finally sliding it into the small drippy slit of his cock. He whined, his head tilting back against the headboard, his eyes closing for a brief second before he stared blankly at the ceiling as if his soul had just left his body. In a way, it scared me and I was about to untie him when he spoke in a throaty voice,

“Don’t you dare stop!”

With those eyes, he silently asked me to tie him up countless times after that. It was always the same; he would get in my room when my parents were away, or asleep, casually lie on my bed for a few minutes, before reaching out for the drawer in my bedside table. He would start fumbling through my things, as if he owned everything, until he found the rope. And he would always ask me to try and teach him again how to do that knot. Invariably, it would end with him tied up and cumming all over himself, over me, over my sheets–making a mess of both of us and everything near us.

Roman was tied to a chair, his hands firmly bound behind his back, in our favorite sailor’s knot. He was not fully naked, though, just his arousal exposed to my greedy eyes while I eagerly pressed a vibrator against his tip. His head lolled back. The muscles in his abdomen flexed under his shirt. Again, his eyes glazed over and it never failed to startle me a little. But once again, his hips bucked against the vibrator and a soft moan rolled off his lips.

“You’re…” His voice trailed off mid-sentence, and he had to take in a sharp breath before being able to finish his trail of thought “You’re a psycho!” He chuckled, a gruff and needy sound that made me impossibly wetter in my already damp panties. I had ruined his second orgasm, and he let out an exasperated grunt, pulling at the rope that tied him to the chair. I watched him squirm, contort, and shut his eyes tightly. His cock twitching, throbbing desperately as a few drops of cum pathetically leaked from him staining his shirt. 

Then Roman looked up at me, his eyes filled with a mix of anger and arousal,

“Slap me…” It was a request, but it sounded an awful lot like a demand. I laughed at him.

“You gotta ask nicely.” I said, with the most wicked grin on my face.

His eyes rolled in annoyance, but when I pressed the vibe against the tip of his cock again, he caved,

“Please?” His voice sounded whiny, so cute I just had to kiss his forehead.

I should have known it would be too much for him.

After that, he ghosted me. Or rather yet, I was the ghost, because he walked past me in the school hallways as if I wasn’t even there. Chest so puffed, with his arm around Ashley Valentine’s neck. Being peacefully with Roman couldn’t last too long. Eventually, I would need to breathe. Or he would. Or both of us would. I should have known that relinquishing his natural power–something he believed he should have simply by breathing–even if he did so willingly, would make him retreat into himself once more.

I’m not gonna lie, I just wanted to curl up on the floor in a fetal position and disappear. Sink into the depths of the Earth to never be seen again. But, I was smart enough to know the drill; everything was temporary, everyone was a placeholder. Roman Godfrey would always do what Roman Godfrey does–only this time he wasn’t the only shark in the tank. He found his match. I was his co-op partner on hard mode.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

Later that same week, I had Henry up against a wall at Brooke Bluebell’s party and a very displeased Roman Godfrey staring at us with clenched teeth and fiery eyes. I swear I could feel his gaze burning on my skin when Henry delicately tangled his fingers in my hair while my thumb grazed his bottom lip. And Henry was so sweet. I could have loved him. In another lifetime, another reality, he could have been mine and I would have been happy. Not in a world where Roman Godfrey exists, though. In a world where Roman Godfrey existed everything more or less gravitated towards him. Like a blackhole, he pulled me in.

Henry’s breath caught in his throat while I kissed his neck softly, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses all over his sensitive skin. I felt his arousal pressing against my stomach through his jeans. When a low, guttural moan escaped his lips, all I could think about was Roman. Roman Godfrey and his plush lips. Roman Godfrey panting and squirming under me. Roman Godfrey and his large hands all over my body. I had to pull away from Henry because I knew it wasn’t fair to him. Thankfully, he didn’t notice that my current state of flusteredness wasn’t due to him, but to my sinful thoughts about another guy.

“Will you excuse me for a few minutes? Gonna grab another drink…” I said, smiling sweetly at him. His eyes beamed when he smiled back at me and he planted the most gentle kiss ever over my lips before unwrapping his arms from my waist and letting me go.

When I turned around, Roman was clearly fuming! His hand gripped his beer bottle so tightly that I thought it was going to break. He bit his bottom lip–not like he did when he was aroused, no–this was a very specific quirk of his, something he did when things were not going as he had initially planned. My eyes widened at the sight of his dilated pupils, and I felt like prey he wanted to sink his teeth into. It looked like he would rip me open if he could, with his bare hands. Right before I averted my gaze and walked past him, I saw his eyes spark devilishly. I knew he was up to no good when Roman strode toward sweet, innocent Henry, who had moved from the wall and was now talking to two of his friends. My heart clenched in my chest; I was about to walk back to Henry, to try and grab Roman’s arm and prevent him from putting in motion whatever sick idea that he had in mind, but it was too late. Roman's shoulder bumped into Henry on purpose, making him lose his balance a little.

Henry didn’t say a word, he just frowned at Roman in confusion–they had never had any trouble before. And it would have ended there because Roman was headed toward the exit of Brooke’s house, probably to grab a smoke, when one of Henry’s friends decided to be stupid,

“Freak!” The guy said sarcastically, making Roman stop in his tracks. The way he turned, deliberately slow, told me he had gotten exactly what he wanted.

“What did you just say?” Roman’s eyes squinted with a terrifying, psychotic rage.

“You heard me!”

Henry, who watched the whole scene dumbfounded tried to reach for his friend’s arm

“It’s ok, just leave it alone!” Henry tried, but his friend didn’t listen to him.

Roman’s smirk turned into a wide, predatory grin.

“Punch him.” Everyone–because now they had managed to call everyone’s attention at the party–gasped at Roman’s words.

“What?” The guy was flabbergasted at first.

“You heard me!”

The guy turned around and his fist landed straight on Henry’s face, making him fall on the ground completely stunned, and clearly in pain. With a bleeding nose and a satisfied look on his smug face, Roman turned around and left. He waltzed out of the mess he had made and I was still trying to understand how the hell he had managed to make Henry’s own friend punch him. I thought it had to be some sort of blackmailing! Henry’s friends rushed to help him, the one who had punched him kneeling down to help him up muttering apologies. 

Meanwhile my legs had a life of their own because I walked out of Brooke’s house following Roman.

“Roman!” I shouted.

He turned to face me, cleaning his nose with a handkerchief. He didn’t say a word, turned around again and headed toward his stupid cherry-red jaguar.

When he opened the door to get in, I placed my hand on the door slamming it shut. My jaw clenched as I waited for him to acknowledge my presence.

“What the fuck?” He turned to face me once more, his lips pressed in a thin line.

I walked a few steps away from him to try and gather my thoughts. Then I faced him, ready to give him a piece of my mind:

“Are you downright insane? Clinically psychotic?”

“They started the whole thing, what are you on about?” He shook his head in mock disbelief, feigning offense as if he had been the one scorned.

“You ask me to tie you up, do a bunch of things to you, treat me like I’m nothing, show up with Ashley fucking Valentine wrapped around you… And then when I decide to give you the smallest taste of your own medicine, you go ballistic? Fuck off, Roman! You got all flustered because you let your mommy issues show through and you can’t handle the truth about yourself! Fuck you!” My words came out in a rush, tumbling out, tripping over one another.

He laughed dryly with a snort, crossed the distance between us in two long strides, and cupped my face with his abnormally large hands, towering over me.

“I’m gonna show you mommy issues!” His voice came out low, in a warning, through clenched teeth that threatened to attack me. So close to my lips I could almost taste him. His expensive Chanel scent clouding my judgment even further—as if that was even possible!

“Then show me, Roman!” I said.

“It’s a shame…” He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, “it’s a damn shame that you smell like that fucking loser. Now I have to cum all over you just to prove a point…”

I gulped. My eyes widening. But then I smirked at him,

“You say this now. Then we get back to mine and you beg me to tie you up.”

He shrugged.

“That’s why I’m taking you back to mine.”

Everything is temporary; people are just passing through. But we can do it just once more, drag it on a little longer, before the inevitability of separation hits us.

[whateveriwant]

Hello, i hope you dont mind if i request agian! Could I get TF141 with an S/O who are just super prone to panic attack?

These are not meant to be taken as mental health advice. I'm just playing around here <3

Soap

The first time it happened, he didn't know what was going on. The sudden heavy breathing, the tremors, the loss of speech; he thought you were dying, honestly

It nearly sent him into a panic as he tried to figure out what he could do to help. Should you stay put or should you be taken to hospital? He just didn't know

However, once it had passed and you were able to better explain the situation, Soap was pulling you into a hug, the biggest breath of relief escaping him knowing you were going to be alright

He wasn't “happy” per se to learn this is something you struggle with regularly, but knowing there's at least something he could do to help in the future put his mind at ease

Nowadays he's got the drill down pat, so when he sees the signs an attack is incoming, he's whisking you to a safe environment where you can attempt to de-stress

Oftentimes it leads to him sitting beside you out on a curb somewhere, his warm hand rubbing soft circles into your back as he comforts you through it

Gaz

From the second he notices you start to pull away from him, Gaz is immediately on top of it, deploying a technique he's quite familiar with

“Tell me five things you can see,” he says, unbothered by having to repeat himself when you don't respond because he did not seriously just ask you that right now

But after enough prompting by him, you shakily list out five items, wet eyes darting around the room as you try to take stock of your surroundings

Once you do as bid, he'll continue, “Now four things you can hear.” And now you're starting to think you see where he's going with this

He'll work his way through all five senses, counting down to one, and once he reaches the final, you find that your pulse has slowed tremendously and your tremor has stopped entirely

Afterwards, you give him a shy thanks, asking how he knew that would work. “Simple,” he tells you. “Used to do it with my sister when we were young. It helped her then, so I thought it might help you now.”

Price

He takes the most heavy handed approach when trying to bring you down from such a rocky high. And while some people might find it smothering, you just see it as grounding

“Hey. Look at me,” his order is firm though his voice remains purposefully gentle. “Don't look anywhere else, just look at me. That's it. Just focus on me.”

If he has to, he'll even push a finger against your chin until you're meeting his eye and holding it, trying to focus on his soothing words instead of the anxious thoughts racing through your head

Slowly and deliberately, he'll breathe in through his nose then out through his mouth, guiding you to follow along with his measured pattern

If that's still not enough, he'll then take your hand beneath his and hold it over his heart, letting its strong, steady rhythm lull you back to a calmer state

“You alright?” he questions once you've settled down again. When you nod and assure him you are, he'll kiss your temple, promising, “I've got you, dear. Always.”

Ghost

When he realized what was happening with you, he quickly jumped into action, but in a way that was completely unexpected

“Remember when you first took me out for sushi and I didn't know wasabi was hot?” he asks you seemingly out of the blue. “Ate a whole spoonful before I realized. Burned like hell going down. But that was nothin’ compared to when it came out again later.”

The memory of that night stirs to life in your mind, and through your rapid breaths and trembling lips, you're able to crack the barest of smiles

He continues, “Or remember when I got sprayed by that skunk in the garden? You made me sleep on the couch for three days. Said I smelled like a garbage bin’s arsehole.”

That memory has you huffing out a short, low chuckle, and though you don't notice it, your pulse begins to hammer a little slower

And so he keeps going, distracting you with funny memories and personal anecdotes until all you're doing is smiling and laughing brightly, totally forgetting what had made you panic in the first place

[boredpotate]

Happier Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Arcane or any other kind of media mentioned or linked.

Concept: Isekai Fem Reader turns back time to fix her timeline, but has unforeseen consequences. (If you want to know the full idea I had then it's in the first chapter)

Note: Didn't mention in the first chapter, but I'm going to assume Vi was 11 and Powder was 6 in the opening scene since I don't think it has been confirmed.

(Edit: Forgot to add something. I'm considering letting Reader have a romance with Timebomb, but IDK. Not fully decided yet.)

Vander Pov

Five years.

Five years since two little girls lost their parents on that bridge and since I became a father of two. Didn't think I would take in two more kids from the streets after them, but then again I never thought I would be a father. The two new additions were boys, all together they became a loyal little crew of four Undercity kids. Speaking of.

"You sure this this one's gonna work Pow Pow? The last one almost gave me a concussion.", Vi asks as Powder works on another one of her latest inventions. Supposed to be some kind of smoke bomb.

Powder puffs her cheeks a little with a pout.

"I said I was sorry and I told you it was a test. I didn't mean for it to have a delay on it. The switch went off later than I planned.", she says grumpily, but a hint of guilt in there.

"Of course not. That's just because you're a jinx.", Mylo says teasingly which makes Vi sock him in the arm. Making Claggor chuckle a little. Deserved, honestly.

"It's fine. I just don't want you blowing yourself up."

I smile as I set down drinks for them, not alcohol of course, before turning to Powder.

"Just make sure you don't run any tests in here. Unless you all want to spend the day cleaning paint off bar.", I say before taking a good look at my troop of trouble makers.

Claggor, big and strong, but not dumb. Smarter and wiser than others actually. A kind soul..... unless you're looking for a fight. Kid can take hits and hit you back harder.

Mylo, not the biggest nor the baddest, but surprisingly cunning if you didn't know him before hand. Always putting up a cocky facade, but he does care. Though he has a problem with making his face enticing to punch.

Powder, youngest of them all has a knack for mechanics and inventing. A tinkerer through and through, like Benzo's boy, Ekko. So much potential in a little bundle of joy. She'll go far in life. As long as she doesn't blow herself up first.

Vi, the oldest, the protector and the leader of the four. Always wanting to put herself in front of all the danger for her family. Take on all the burden, like the stubborn girl she is. Especially for her sister. Most likely to kick a door down before checking if it's unlocked.

Together we were a family. Honestly this would have been enough for me, but to think I'd get my brother back too.

"I'm sure it will go well this time. I took a look at the mechanism, she only needs to make a few adjustments.", Silco says, sitting next to Powder while working on his notes and occasionally glancing at Powder's work.

Silco, my brother in every way but blood. I didn't think I'd ever be able to rekindle our bond from before. He read my letter. Apparently he stayed in hiding for a few years to think about all that happened and himself. I still remember when he came back, around the time I took in Mylo and Claggor, the feeling I had felt when he just came walking in one day like it was any other regular day.

We talked about our mistakes and regrets. We reminisced on the old days when we were young and dumb, and when Felecia was still alive. It took time, still is, but right now? We're in a good place now. Forgave each other and moving forward to help Zuan. He and Powder seem to get along well, which is good. Silco was always the smarts between the two of us; always had his nose in his notes or a book.

I couldn't help but smile when looking at the scene. The bar felt more alive nowadays, the kids I took in talking and bickering but safe, and the man who is like a brother to me is back. All in The Last Drop where it's safe. All we need is Benzo and his boy, Ekko, here and we'll have the whole party together.

Everything i-

Dad?

Damn. That damn voice again. Been bugging me ever since the bridge. Like a memory, but from talks I've never had with someone before.

SoOoo, QUiCk qUestIOn. wHo get's THE bAr wHeN YoU reTiRe? hM?

Who is that? I can barely make it out to be a kid's, but I never heard any kid like that. Yet, it feels like I'm supposed to know. It brings out that same feeling in my chest that I have for my kids.

"Vander?"

I look back up to Silco, who is looking at me with concern in his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Is everything alright? You froze there for a second."

"Oh, don't worry. I'm fine, nothings wrong. Just.... something bugging my head for awhile."

He looks at me with some worry, but drops it after Powder grabs his attention. Probably something about her tinkering.

I go to clean a few glasses as I ponder on the voice again.

'Who is that?'

Reader Pov

"Get back here you little shit!"

I hear and ignore the shouts as I keep running. I managed to eavesdrop on a deal. Heard them talk about there drop off point for payment. The people came earlier than I expected for the money and I got caught in the act. Now I'm running through the streets with five people on my trail. Not my fault everyone ignores kids when discussing stuff.

I weave through alley ways and crowds in the streets with a mask and hood. After years of growing up in it, it's only natural that it's pretty easy to navigate. Especially as a kid; there's lots of little crevices and old pipe lines to slip into. Though these people are pretty persistent, but I can't really blame them. Seems like whatever job they did paid a lot based on the weight of the bag, though I am a kid so I could be wrong.

I take a quick look back to see that the crowd built me a good bit of distance before quickly ducking into another alley. I take many turns before getting onto another crowded street and build some distance before I start blending into the crowd. I see one of them pop out from the alley, but it's already too late. I'm good as gone now.

I steady my breathing as I begin to backtrack from where I ran from. They'll probably stay in this area and wait for me or some kid with a bag to come out, meanwhile my home is on the nowhere near here.

Home.

'I miss home.'

I thought it would be easier than this honestly. Not the living part, that's easy. Zuan isn't some drug filled city like before where everyone is trying to be on top. This like a playground compared to what it turned into. People still have a sense of community and gangs aren't taking over, or at least not completely.

Zuan went from being a dog town to a pit full of chickens and snakes. No more dogs ready to bark and bite for their own, ready to gather together and fight back when backed too far into a corner by the rich. Just a bunch of snakes chasing to be on top and taking out anyone who get's in their way. A bunch of snakes and fakes being led on by even bigger fakes and snakes; couldn't lead from the front or do their own dirty work.

What's hard is staying away from everyone, but it's worth it. To see them happy and together again. It'll really show it's worth in a few years. When everyone can come together and that bridge doesn't need to divide us anymore. Where markets can be opened and communities can intertwine with one another.

Plus, it's good to see Vander and Silco talking again. Even with everything that's happened last time; Silco grew on me. I never thought he would, but like Powder, he became another father figure to me. He didn't like to show it, but I knew he cared.

It took awhile to find him after I got Vander's letter from the mines, but after a lot of eavesdropping and investigating I tracked him down to some old bunker. Slipped inside when there was an opening and left the letter. Just had to hope that was enough to change his mind, and luckily it was.

Without Silco meeting Singed, Shimmer doesn't exist, and hopefully it stays that way for good. Though I still keep an eye out for it. Either way it's one problem dealt with, now onto the bigger one. Hextech.

That one damn job ruined everything, even when I tried preventing it from happening or going wrong. Things still went to shit. Hextech, always advertised as a sign of progress and innovation for everyone was only made for the wealthy. While Piltover thrived, Zuan was left in the dust and forgotten. It only stirred the pot and upped the heat. It just made people more frustrated, hateful, and more open to an aggressive stand against Piltover.

Watching all of this play out was one thing, but living in it? Watching as your very own home was slowly killing itself with no help from it's so called leaders? It was horrible. So many people I knew were killed, corrupted or became another addict hooked on Shimmer. Meanwhile the council and enforcers just let it happen. They could have at least gained control before it grew too big, it was obvious what was beginning to fester, but they didn't. Too busy enjoying the benefits of Hextech and luxury.

'Fuck Hextech.'

My mind wanders and procrastinates on possible dangers and outcomes as I make my way home. Before I know it I'm already across the Undercity, deep into the lanes where it reaches under the river above. Dark, smog everywhere and mostly filled with lowlife crooks and junkies, but less likely to run into the family. Here I can stay hidden.

I find my way home safely in an abandoned building. Parts of it crumbled away, but I managed to make a home for myself in one of the rooms on the upper floors. It was enough.

"Home, sweet home.", I say as I close the door behind me and lock it. I toss the bag aside to count later before flopping myself down on my makeshift bed. Not comfy, but better than nothing. I turn over and stare at the ceiling as I contemplate the future.

"I need to stop Hextech no matter what. One job. Get in, take the crystals, and get out before the crew get's there. Just gotta wait for Jayce to get here. Then it'll all be okay.", I say as begin to drift off into much needed sleep.

Powder Pov

"Stupid, Mylo. What does he know?", while fiddling with one of the toys Vander got for me. Looking out over the buildings buildings of Zuan and the few stars I can see in the night.

PoWDEr

I wheel my head around looking for the source of the unknown voice.

"Hello?", I call out but receive no response.

Y'kNoW, YOu'Re SmArTer tHaN yOu tHiNk yOu'Re RiGhT?

I hear it again, so I stand up and search my surroundings.

"W-Who's there!?", I say, trying to be as brave as Vi. I don't think I'm doing that good.

PoWder, pLEasE LisTen tO Me cAUse I mEAN it. yOU'rE nOt a jiNx. YOu'Re So mUcH MoRe tHaN yOu ThInK yOu ArE, yOU jUsT DoN't sEe iT yEt.

I hear the weird voice again. I realize it's not from someone but from my head, like when I remember a conversation, but much louder. I suddenly feel a sharp headache.

"W-What's happening?" I ask not knowing what's going on.

JinX oR No JiNx. I wiLl AlWaYs bE hERe PoWder. I pROmiSe. I wOn'T aBaNdOn YoU.

Why did that voice sound familiar? Why was it comforting?

"Who are you?"

"Powder!"

I lift my head and see Vi looking relieved, probably has been looking for me.

"There you are I was looking around for you. C'mon it's time for bed.", she says, but I stay still and wait for my headache to die down before taking a breather. I see Vi walk towards me before kneeling down and putting a hand on my head.

"Hey, is everything okay Pow Pow? What's wrong?", Vi asks with concern in her eyes and voice, but I don't know how to respond.

'I don't even know what that was.'

"....Yeah, I-I think so. Just a little headache.", I say, not wanting to worry her over was I heard. Remembered? I don't know.

"Are you sure?"

I do take a second to consider telling her the truth but.....

I wiLl AlWaYs bE hERe PoWder. I pROmiSe.

"Yup. It's fine. I think I'm tired from working on my stuff all day.", I say, trying my best to sound casual. She looks hesitant for second before nodding.

"Alright. Let's go to bed.", She says as she stands up and puts a hand on my shoulder and we head back inside.

As we walk to our room I can't help but think about that voice.

'Why do I remember it? Vi never said that, not Claggor, not Ekko either and definitely not Mylo. So, who is it?'

As I lay in bed and drift off to sleep I can't help but still feel that pull to that voice.

'Why can't I remember? And, why does that make me sad?'

3rd Person

As Powder goes to bed for the night with a head filled with questions about an unfamiliar, yet nostalgic voice. She doesn't know she is not the only one.

A voice being remembered by multiple people, but not able to be recognized by any. It only brings more questions and a feeling of longing and guilt for this voice. Unknowingly something darker lurks underneath all of it. Waiting.

Note: Might either do a little time skip next and work on a little more development for events and the reader, or just do a big time skip next chapter. IDK, I'll figure it out. I just didn't want there to be and immediate jump in time and at least have some kind of development on how things have changed and what reader is doing, and have been doing.

[vincentbriggs]

Do you need a sewing machine to start making shirts and vests? Is hand sewing an option worth considering, or should I invest in a machine, in your opinion?

That's really a matter of personal preference!

Do you need a machine? Absolutely not! Every garment ever made before the 1840's was sewn by hand, and a lot of them after that too. I've sewn many garments completely by hand, including the early 18th century tiddy-out-violinist shirt, these bright orange breeches, and this green waistcoat.

Is it nice to have a machine? I think so, but again, individual opinions vary!

One of the costumers I follow sews everything 100% by hand because she finds it meditative and isn't interested in using a machine at all. Some people hate hand sewing and prefer to do everything by machine, with maybe a bit of hand finishing if they absolutely can't avoid it.

I do about a 50/50 split overall, maybe skewing a bit more towards hand sewing. I like to do pants, shirts, and nightgowns mostly by machine with some hand finishing, but for jackets and waistcoats I usually do considerably more hand sewing than machine, because I like 18th century tailoring techniques and think they give a nicer looking result. I do most of my buttonholes by hand, or I do them by machine first and then cover them in hand stitching.

Most people who sew do at least some of it by machine, but again, I don't know which way you prefer to work, so I'd suggest trying out both to see how you feel abut them.

For hand sewing, I suspect a lot of people hate it because they're using shitty needles and/or shitty thread, and perhaps haven't found good resources for hand sewing techniques.

Here's a post of hand sewing advice that I found quite helpful a decade ago. Use good needles because the eyes of the cheap ones have jagged edges and will ruin your thread! Use nice thread because the wrong kind will be twisty and tangly and will fray more!

Thimbles are good and useful, and typically they go on the middle finger of your dominant hand, and you use them to push the needle. I prefer metal thimbles and dislike using leather ones, but some people prefer the leather ones, or rubber ones.

The metal ones come in sizes, and I don't know how to find out your size aside from trying them on in person, but I know I'm a size 11.

One very important thing is that if you're hand sewing a garment, look for hand sewing specific instructions on how to do the construction techniques you're going for. A lot of the time when someone nowadays is trying to figure out how to hand sew a thing they'll just try and copy the machine sewn version, and a lot of the time that's inefficient and more difficult and the result looks worse, because machines and hands work very differently!

This is something I'm going to briefly discuss in the outro to the very long shirt video I'm working on, because it's so very common, and I've done it too! On several of my earlier hand sewn shirts I didn't know to turn the edge in on the front slit and do a little narrow hem, so I instead sewed on a facing for the front slit and cut and turned it, just like I'd seen on machine sewn shirts. This made it about 3x more time consuming, and the result was much bulkier and looked worse.

I've got so many more things to say about sewing but it's almost bedtime and I don't want to make this post too long.

For machine sewing, again there's a lot of personal choice. Some people like newer machines, some people like vintage or antique ones. I'm one of the ones who prefers solid metal vintage machines. I grew up using an old cast iron Singer, and the newer domestic machines just feel so plasticy and insubstantial to me. I'm used to ones that just do straight stitch and can also go backwards, but some people are perfectly happy with ones that can't even backstitch.

I do think that for a beginner the vintage machines are a better deal, because if you're patient and look around for a while you can snag one for really cheap at a thrift store, yard sale, facebook marketplace, etc. Also they're mostly metal and therefore harder to break.

I recently got a Pfaff (from I think the 1960's?) at an estate sale for 25 bucks. The zig zag mechanism is stuck and needs fixing, but I cleaned & oiled it up and it works just fine for regular straight stitching.

There are SO MANY online resources for how to clean, oil, and fix vintage sewing machines, especially the more popular brands, and a lot of the time cleaning & oiling is all they need. Read the manual and get an oil bottle with a nice long pointy thing so you can reach all the parts, and get some compressed air to whoosh out the fuzz. If it's old and hasn't been used in years, turn the hand wheel and observe every single place where metal rubs against metal, and Make It Greasy There.

(If you don't have the manual, you can often find those online too. I even found the service manual for my new-old Pfaff! I have the original users manual, but this one's for the people doing repairs.)

Oh this post is getting much too long! If you don't know yet if you like machine sewing, try seeing if you can use one without owning it, perhaps at a sewing class or in a makerspace. I know some libraries can loan out machines. A sewing class would probably be a good idea actually, if there are any available where you live!

Much like how you'll have a bad time hand sewing if you've got shitty supplies and no proper instructions on good techniques, you'll have a bad time machine sewing if it's not oiled well and if the tension is uneven.

There are so so very many things to learn about sewing and I hope I'm not making it sound too overwhelming, because I promise it's not if you take it one step at a time!

Also, when someone who's been sewing for a long time says "You may think you can ignore (piece of sewing advice), but actually that's bad and you will regret it", they're usually right. Oh, how I regret not learning to use a thimble years earlier than I did...

Sorry this post is so long, I hope it's helpful!

Basically, there's no one best way to sew anything, and you should try different stuff and see what works best for you, because everyone has different preferences.

[mourn-and-watch]

in all seriousness, dragon age being almost officially dead to me is, like, whatever. i'm used to hanging out in dead fandoms because i'm usually extremely late to the party so i think i'll manage. i was excited for veilguard but even if it was bad bad for me (which it wasn't. i have my problems with it but they didn't ruin the franchise for me) i would also manage because dragon age to me always was extremely flawed but had an enormous potential for fan content. at some point i started to treat it like my favourite fantasy playground where i can smash pre-existing barbie dolls with the ones i made myself. all my barbie dolls are in place and i still can do whatever i want (and i plan to continue to do so) and, i guess, i shouldn't be upset.

i am upset, however. for all the devs affected by laid-offs, but especially the writers. these people created dragon age as we know it, and it's been a messy series in every aspect, including the writing, it's been insensitive at times, at times dumb and undercooked, but there was always an immense amount of potential that's been inspiring fans for years, and also a feeling that all, or at least the most of it was created with genuine passion. and realizing that there is no one left from the team that made dragon age what it is, every installment of it, is just. genuinely sad. and it's not a theseus ship dilemma, because it's not like they were slowly replaced one by one. they were just fired. this ship is destined to sink, it's falling apart in front of our eyes because neither ea nor bioware cares about writing. not many companies do nowadays, to be honest. and it's kinda devastating. grifters will celebrate that like a "downfall of woke slop", but they'll get only more ai slop instead, lol, because good writing doesn't guarantee good sells. best selling games of 2024 are shooters and sports games. and elden ring which is a nice exception, but an exception nevertheless.

i don't think mass effect will save bioware at this point. even if it's an absolute banger it still has to meet ea's expectations. which are unrealistic, to say the least. also people who wrote characters like mordin, tali, legion, thane, garrus and liara are all gone. either they left themselves or were laid off. like, if you want "old bioware magic" to return, there is none. the same people who wrote your favourite characters and storylines in da/me were also working on veilguard. i may be wrong, but somehow i think they didn't all lose their ability to write here because they went woke or whatever. i think the inconsistent quality of datv writing that can only be described as 'we're so back/it's so over' pic is a consequence of multiple rewrites, constant director changes and shitty decisions, both internal and coming from bioware/ea higher-ups. i also may be wrong, but it wouldn't be such a big problem if writing wasn't at the bottom of priority list.

if i recall correctly, when gaider left willingly, he highlighted that bioware didn't treat its writers seriously at that point. and i'd say that tracks. like, from countless veilguard rewrites and scrapped ideas to lay-offs of every single studio veteran.

idk what else there is to say. i'll cheer for every studio that value its writers and i hope all ex-bioware devs will be able to do something new and exciting. i also doubt bioware is the last studio that will experience such a decline in the years to come. the narrative of this shitshow will also be twisted into 'go woke go broke' and it already slightly draws me insane. fuck ea fuck bioware fuck grifters. also i beg everyone to start appreciating writing as a craft because otherwise it's only going to get worse!

[doberbutts]

So I'm going to ask an honest question here and ask you please explain in layman's terms. Every trans person I know irl has no concept of the transandrophobia discourse but every time I see more of it online I'm...unsettled, and it takes a lot to power through all the terminology.

I initially was really receptive to transandrophobia because the rationale behind being against it sounded stupid and akin to label discourse in the queer community. I saw "being a man is not an axis of oppression therefore you don't get your Own Word" and thought that was pedantic nonsense, that language doesn't need to adhere to that rule, and that it's helpful to have a term designated towards transmasculine experiences so people can find those experiences easier. Not that trans women's experiences aren't also beneficial! But that, well, obviously no matter how similar the experience birds of a feather and that sense of comfort of sharing identity still matters. This is true for other issues of identity too, I find, weather that's a good thing or a bad thing idk, but it is human.

The thing is I follow a lot of transwomen and have been seeing some alarms being raised about the community being formed around this word. You blocked one of the most egregious offenders so I trust you (which is why I'm asking sorry) I've seen a lot of misogyny and essentialism from people using the term "transandrophobia" and more egregiously "transmisandry." Idk your opinion on the latter term (I haven't scrolled down far enough on your blog, sorry if you talked about this before) but to me it's unconscionable. I was taught that transandrophobia existed as a term specifically NOT to use that term, that elevating misandry to a legitimate issue was dangerous for obvious reasons and it was one of the reasons why I was so supportive of transandrophobia. To me, it seemed like an awareness that misogyny was the prevailing issue behind all issues of gender oppression, but when I actually look at the tag I...get uncomfortable.

Blogs I follow have repeatedly been upset at misogyny from this community, and have been using the term "transandrobro" to describe behavior they find akin to cis MRAs. I've truly seen horrible things with hundreds, sometimes thousands of notes to it that do, unfortunately, feel like women are being blamed for the plight of trans men. I've seen cis people say they were originally on MRA reddits and then came to tumblr to "confront the misandry directly" only to wholeheartedly adopt transandrophobia into their worldview. It's hard because I KNOW I shouldn't judge a community based on a few crazies but it truly does feel sometimes like "transandrophobia" gives misogynists a venue to air their woman-hating to an eager audience, kinda like how "Karen" has been co-opted beyond the og meaning of being for racist white woman to any woman being mildly rude.

So like, here it is: can transandrophobia exist without being co-opted by misogynists? Is there a threshold of proliferation for misogynists destroying this word until a new one needs to be made? Or will every word trying to identify the transmasculine experience be inevitably co-opted by misogynists because misogynists are just that powerful, so people should double down harder on the word and work to push misogynists out?

(Also am I going crazy, or did this word a year ago used to have a WAY better community than the one I see nowadays. Back then I could find your blog and really compassionate people easily, and now it's just...bad.)

It is a little hard to understand some of this post but I will do my best to answer what I think is being asked.

To put simply, I think the reason why it was better a year or two ago is because the majority of the people who were actually trying to further the conversation and not just circle jerk in the echo chamber got chased off. Transandrophobia, anti-transmasculinity, transandromisia, transmascphobia... the guys who coined these are largely either not posting at all anymore or post far far less than they used to. They were harassed and the constant exposure to transphobia made them shut down their blogs for their own mental health. Not all of them, but a lot of the so-called "big names" had this happen.

Even I stopped posting for a while and shuttered the doors for a bit outside of a long queue of dog photos because of how much it was affecting my mental health.

In their place remain people who are not committed to the same conversation. Perhaps they are younger, or less familiar with the building blocks of theory that really should be required reading, or are still stuck in their "everything sucks and it's YOUR fault" phase. Maybe they do come from different places, like 4chan or reddit, which are less prone to this sort of discussion. A lot of the original crowd had been on tumblr long enough to remember when we could still edit posts, and I keep seeing people who would have been in elementary school at that time posting to the tag nowadays.

I was discussing this problem on discord with a small group of friends and one of them- a trans fem- called it second wave transandrophobia discourse as a bitter joke. I think she is more right than wrong, regardless.

I'm not sure who you believe I've blocked- in general I don't air out who I block on this blog because at nearly 12k followers there are too many people who would love to dogpile someone for the sin of disagreeing with me and I do my best to prevent that. I don't want anyone to be harassed, after all. There's a lot of assumptions that have been made about my block and follow behavior that vary from "hilarious but untrue" to "outright offensive slander".

People are people, and some people are shitheads. Trans mascs and people who want to support trans mascs are not exempt from that. I say this all the time- Kayne West is objectively a shitty person but his existence doesn't prove the concept of antiblackness to be a myth. Caitlyn Jenner is objectively a shitty person but her existence doesn't prove the concept of transmisogyny to be a myth. So why do shitty trans mascs prove our own theory to be dangerous or nonexistent? Why hold us to a higher standard than any other marginalized group?

I could ask you the same question- there are posts on here with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of notes made by trans fems and cis women who blame their problems with transmisogyny on trans mascs. There are people coming from reddit, Twitter, 4chan who are being actively transphobic and misogynistic and claiming they're doing it for the good of transfeminism. There are posts filled with misogyny and bioessentialism and gender essentialism and even interphobia and racism and transphobia being left completely unchecked. Do you think it would be acceptable for me to ask if that means transmisogyny theory should be abandoned or if we should just accept that it will draw people with bad intentions?

Or do you think the better answer is to focus instead on finding those with a good head on their shoulders, and making sure it's them who has their voice heard? Do you think we should maybe not judge entire demographics because there exists some shitty people who claim the same identity?

[yuurayuura]

kiss me again (part 1)

🎬 kim sunwoo is not a professional actor, yet somehow he's making it very hard not to fall for his performance.

PAIRING 🎬 sunwoo x fem!reader TAGS 🎬 actors au, fluff, suggestive (smut in the next part) WORD COUNT 🎬 4.8k WARNINGS 🎬 nope! AUTHOR’S NOTE 🎬 i'm obviously not an actor so i don't know how any of this really works :p

"Time doesn't stop... Doesn't stand still... Ah, fuck. Line?"

Sunwoo breaks into a disbelieving grin for the third time that evening, shaking his head and feeling like a complete amateur. Y/n smiles in that subtle way she does when he fucks up his lines, flipping through the script and making the room echo with page noise. That smile has become too familiar to him now. She smiles like you would when a child says something unintentionally funny, but you don't want to make them feel stupid by openly laughing. It's that vibe. He needs to get it together.

It's so quiet and warm, almost humid, in the little meeting room they have table readings in nowadays, and he can feel the heat from his palms resting on his thighs. The little oscillating fan in the corner doesn't help in the slightest.

"It's okay," the director comments, scribbling something in the margins of the script that Y/n hands her. "We might change it. But as it is, the line is 'time never stops for anyone. It certainly hasn't for me, even if I wished it would. Many times.'"

"Right, sorry," Sunwoo says, pulling his collar in an attempt to let some cooler air in.

"Why don't we take a break?" The lead actress suggests, stretching her arms out. "We've been at it for hours."

Sunwoo keeps forgetting her name, but that's because they don't have any scenes together. In fact, most of the scenes he has are with Y/n, his on-screen love interest, and both of your roles are quite small. He suspects that much of it will be cut in the end, it's just a short film after all. He's only doing it because it's fun.

Y/n meets him by the water cooler, and hands him a copy of the script that sits warm in his hands, feeling like it's fresh off the printer.

"Thought you could use it," she says, with a twinkle in her eye like she's teasing him, but being nice about it. Maybe too nice? He's sure he deserves a lot more after his dismal display lately. It seems that's just the way she is, carefully teasing, maybe because they haven't known each other for that long. She's probably holding back, sticking to polite banter.

"I could, yeah," he mumbles through a smile, sipping his little paper cup of water. "I spilled coffee on mine earlier, that's why I didn't have one. Ugh. I feel like I'm just annoying everyone in there. I don't know what's up with my brain today."

Y/n shakes her head. "Nah, everyone has those days, I think. It's just your turn."

That makes him look up at her, and she meets his eyes with another gentle smile.

"I'm glad you're the one I'm paired with," she says, too casually, for that kind of statement. "I think it'll come out great."

"Ditto," Sunwoo says, more airy than he means to. "I mean. Yeah. I agree."

He wants to say that he's glad too, and we have good chemistry, don't you think?

He doesn't say that, though, that might be pushing it. They only met a couple of days ago. Although, from what he's read ahead in the script, they're going to need as much chemistry as possible to do the upcoming scenes. Their story is a tragic romance after all, with a lot of tension, eye contact, and desperate kissing.

He can't think about that now. It's not like either of them are professional actors, and that should lighten the pressure, but it doesn't, not really.

There's something about her that makes him want to be great, fantastic, so maybe she'll see him in a good light afterwards.

"Oh, duty calls," she smirks, and his heart does a little maneuver that he doesn't anticipate when she touches his arm to make him follow.

Y/n's POV:

Sunwoo is a good actor. Too good to do crap like this, you think, thoughts drifting in the parts of the table read that don't involve your character. He has this aura surrounding him that makes him so believable, even when he goes off script—or maybe especially then. 

When the casting director introduced them, you thought there had been some sort of mix up, because what in the world were you doing next to someone like that. Someone who commanded the room like he did, not to mention how good-looking he was. You saw his audition, and expected him to be the lead, or at least a major role. Not doing some tiny side story with you.

Your obvious bewilderment had made him chuckle, seemingly not understanding the confusion. Just like that, something you just did for extra credit in college became the highlight of your summer.

"Y/n," the writer hums, clicking her pen. "That's your cue."

"Shit, sorry," you mumble, and you don't miss the happy little twitch on Sunwoo's lips. He's probably glad he's not the only one who's messing up.

"So," Sunwoo says, when you're done for the day, and you try not to openly look at his lips when he's talking, but it's an impossible situation. They're very nice lips. "I had an idea, and tell me if I'm out of line, but I thought maybe we should do our own read, just us. I'm just not getting this middle part to stick, and Lord knows the scenes coming up aren't going to be easier."

"No, I was thinking the same thing," You nod, chewing the back end of your pencil. "I think that's a smart move for us. Then we can show up on Monday and dazzle the hell out of everyone at the reading with our amazing acting slash memory."

You smirk and Sunwoo chuckles, looking over at you for a second. His eyes are also very nice eyes. It's almost too much for just one person.

"Okay, then," he says, raising his eyebrows. "Who lives closer? I'm about fifteen minutes from here."

"Oh, then I win, my place is ten," You grin.

"Make yourself at home," you yell, disappearing to the bathroom to tidy up, just a little bit. "I'm sorry it's not sparkling here, I'm barely home lately."

You can hear Sunwoo's quiet chuckle from the living room, toeing off his shoes before he enters.

"Don't worry, I'm blind as a bat without my glasses anyway," he assures. "Won't be seeing anything tonight."

"Good," you joke, getting the light on your way back.

You make tea for yourself and instant coffee for Sunwoo, it's all you have to offer but he doesn't seem to mind, sipping it blissfully.

"This is somehow better than the coffee at the studio," he mumbles, making you grin.

"Damn. My condolences."

He laughs, and you flip the scripts to the right pages, settling in comfortably on the sofa. Sunwoo has put on his round reading glasses, and it might be the late hour and the tiredness speaking, but he looks so unfairly beautiful. Especially when the glasses slide down on the bridge of his nose a little, and he uses the back of his hand to push them back up.

He gives you a half timid look over the glasses. "Ready?"

"Yup, I can read us in, since you start."

You clear your throat, preparing to use your best narrator voice. "June's apartment, night time. June is sat by the window, looking out at the city. Minsoo enters, cold from the blizzard."

"I got the job," Sunwoo says, in character, looking at you with what feels like genuine excitement. "I finally got it."

You smile down at the script, getting into character as well. "That's really great. Congratulations."

You go through the scene several times, giving each other pointers and trying to make it fit as well as you can.

"This, wow," Sunwoo mumbles, running a hand through his hair. "Are we nailing this? I might just be tired, but I think we are."

His smile is so infectious, your cheeks are hurting from reciprocating it all night.

"Dude, I think we are," you agree, and Sunwoo snickers. "We could move on to the next one? But I feel like we should be standing if we do."

"Yeah, you're right."

You stand up and move to approximate positions in the small living room. It's a bit ridiculous at first, but it feels more real when you actually have to look at each other over some distance, and move across the room.

"Minsoo's apartment, night time," you say.

"June..." Sunwoo says, and it's crazy how good he is at doing that, flipping the switch from Sunwoo to the character instantly. His brows furrow when he looks at you, and you can feel it, how his body language is so in tune with what he's trying to say, the longing and the pain in his voice.

"We can't," you say, as June. "You know we can't."

You're pretty good at crying on command so you think, what the hell, might as well pull out all the stops tonight, feeling tears form in your eyes as you look over at Sunwoo.

He seems surprised for a second that you're crying, and you don't know if it's acting or not. Which really says it all about his skills.

"Please don't cry," he mumbles, starting to close the distance between you, but stopping halfway, holding himself back, and letting his arm fall from the outstretched position where he was reaching after you. "Please."

You blink and let a few tears escape, and the room is so silent you can hear them hit the floor beneath you. You follow the script and get down on your knees, vision blurring from the tears.

"Let's not end like this," Sunwoo pleads, closing in with gentle steps, stopping to lower himself to your level on the floor. "June. I love you so much, I don't want to make you cry."

He takes your hands in his, squeezing them, and then lets them go in favor of wiping tears from your cheeks with such tenderness, it's hypnotizing.

"Don't leave me, Min," You say, voice quivering in the quiet room. "I don't know what I'll do, when... When..."

You trail off and Sunwoo tilts your head up to meet his eyes, sending shivers down your spine.

"Shh," he breathes, his thumb wiping the edge of your lower lip, catching a tear.

You look into each other's eyes for five long seconds, trying to really convey the inner battle going on in your characters. You know he's counting, just like you are, and then Sunwoo pulls you in for the kiss.

You knew it was coming, of course you knew, you read it about a thousand times just to make sure. But it still makes your whole body light up. Your mind goes completely blank, forgetting any and every line you just rehearsed. All you can process is the feeling of Sunwoo's soft lips on yours, the longing in it, the collapse of his restrain. Minsoo's restrain, but, you know.

Sunwoo cups your face and you stand up on your knees, closer, but not close enough. You never want it to end but have to keep reminding yourself to be professional. Not let it slip how much you're enjoying this. He's a good kisser, not too forceful, but sweet and just desperate enough for this scene. You can't help the way your hand lifts and runs through the hair at the back of his neck, making him sigh into your mouth.

When you break it off, you're both a little out of breath, and you don't want to, but remember the script.

You push him away, almost making him lose his balance.

"We can't," you repeat, whispering. "I... I can't do this."

"June," Sunwoo pleads, watching you like a kicked dog as you get up and leave him there.

"Aaand, scene," You mumble, wiping the tears with your sleeve, chuckling. Not really ready to meet his eyes.

"Holy shit," Sunwoo breathes, now on his feet in front of you. "I didn't expect you to actually cry. That was impressive."

You laugh in disbelief. "That was impressive? You could be on TV, or like. Huge stages. I'm speechless, honestly. I don't know how you do it."

"Thank you," he mumbles, his ears pink. "I hope I didn't overdo it, with the... Um. With the kiss," he says, scratching his neck, and you want to pull him in for another one then and there.

"No, uh. It was excellent. Very believable."

"Back at you," Sunwoo smiles.

There isn't enough air in the room for this.

"Actually I thought I might try something, if it's alright," Sunwoo says, as you sit down on the couch again. "Regarding the kiss."

You can tell he's trying not to make it awkward. Which is cute.

"Sure, shoot," You reply, very hard at work to not seem so affected by this.

"I'm thinking, you know. Minsoo needs to show her what she means to him, how much he wishes he could stay... So I'll try to put some more emotion behind it. Maybe we can "choreograph" some moves into it. I'll show you what I mean."

You look at him and he looks almost shy, running a hand through his hair.

"If that's okay, of course."

"More emotion," You reply, a little breathier than intended. "Alright. Show me. You want me to cry? Set the mood?"

Sunwoo laughs, airy and wonderful. "No, that's alright. I'll pretend."

You shift a little, so you're on your knees on the couch, facing him. "Okay. I'm on the floor, Minsoo approaches. Go."

"Let's not end like this," Sunwoo says, his voice soft as he looks into your eyes, pleading. He knows the lines now, the script is abandoned on the floor where he left it. "June..."

He takes your hands, and his own are warm and gentle. "I love you so much, I don't want to make you cry."

He does what he did last time, except now you aren't crying, so when he touches your face it's just that—a touch. Very careful caresses across your cheeks. You try to focus, try not to let yourself get lost in his eyes.

"Don't leave me, Min," you whisper, and somehow it feels so much more intimate now, sitting like this. "I don't know what I'll do when... When..."

You lower your gaze and Sunwoo tilts your head back up, like he's supposed to. His eyes are so emotive, it's incredibly impressive to see the nuances he's able to work into a simple look. It makes you want to do better too. Try to even it out.

"Shh," he breathes, and this time it's barely audible at all.

He looks into your eyes and you can feel the thump thump thump of your heart, like a clock running too fast. You forget to count the seconds, but maybe that's good, maybe the sharp, surprised inhale that slips past your lips will make it more believable. Sunwoo's lips move against yours with purpose, but also a tender compassion that has you melting into his touch, wanting more. He pulls at your bottom lip when he sits back, just barely moving away, speaking against your mouth.

"Maybe," he breathes, breaking character, forehead against yours. "Maybe I could do something like this."

He wipes slowly at the imaginary tears, then presses a careful kiss under your left eye, then the right, before he captures your lips and takes your breath away once more.

"Or, maybe," he continues, still against your lips, voice so delightfully hushed and low, "I can move my hands?"

His left hand brushes through your hair at the side of your head, before coming to rest and holding you in place. The right hand slides over your shoulder and stops at the collarbone, thumb dipping into the groove there, and you can't help the slight sound that escapes you.

Sunwoo quickly looks at you to see if he's done something wrong, but you just blink quickly and nod.

"Yes, um. That's. Very good."

"Good," he breathes, smiling, and, fuck. Fuck. Jesus.

"I'm a worse actor than I thought," You confess, biting your lip in a smile.

"No, but, isn't it good if you actually... like it?" Sunwoo smiles, tentatively, still holding you. "Then you won't have to pretend as much?"

You can't argue with that logic.

When you kiss again, for the third-ish time that night, you know it's coming. But it doesn't help, it doesn't stop being mind-blowing for that reason. Sunwoo tries a few different spots to touch you, all very PG but still a lot. At one point, you decide to do that as well—why not—work in your character's desperateness a bit more acutely.

You touch his neck and put a hand on his chest, pulling his shirt a little, and he gasps, making you pull back in worry.

"No, no, do it again," he mumbles, looking flushed.

It's good to know he's also a little flustered. That boosts your confidence enough to pull him a little closer when you continue where they left off, change the angle a little, move a little over to offense rather than the defensive, slightly passive, and timid stance you've taken thus far.

He doesn't seem like he expected that, inhaling through his nose when your tongue experimentally touches his lower lip and your hand slides over the side of his neck again. You can feel his pulse knocking hard and steady under your fingertips, and it's difficult to say if it's the same tempo as your own. They sort of melt together into one, erratic beat.

"God," Sunwoo mumbles, and he smiles against your lips, making you break into a smile as well.

"Maybe that was a little too... Forward," you grin.

Sunwoo laughs again, and it's such a lovely sound.

"I don't know, I liked it," he says, looking bashful once more, sitting back on the couch.

You know that you'll get plenty of takes for this, and probably a lot of directions. These aren't decisions that are entirely up to you two, there's no real need to practice this much.

But you won't say that out loud. you know he must be aware of it too, he's more experienced, he knows how it works. Why would you bring this to an end, if he doesn't?

"You're a good kisser," you comment, unusually bold, looking at the table. Shooting him a quick grin.

"So are you," Sunwoo smiles, fiddling with your copy of the script that was on the couch.

"They won't see this coming."

"No, they won't," you laugh.

You nudge his leg, and you don't want the night to end yet, but you can barely keep your eyes open.

"The couch is yours for the night, if you want it. I think I have to go to bed now."

"Thanks," he smiles, nudging you back. "I was hoping you would suggest that. Was really dreading the walk home."

"Of course, silly," you mumble. Still smiling stupidly.

You take turns brushing your teeth (you actually had a spare toothbrush, pretty incredible), and when it's all done, you come out to say goodnight. Sunwoo sits on the couch, stifling a yawn, and you walk over to give him a pillow.

"You know," you start, voice raspy and tired. You sit down on the opposite end. "I had a friend, an actor friend, who told me that after doing pretend-kisses for jobs, regular kissing never held up anymore. That it changed, somehow, and real kissing didn't have the same spark."

Sunwoo looks at you in the low light, brows furrowed.

"I guess I could understand that. Since there's a lot of suspense and build up that maybe there isn't in real life, a lot of the time."

"Yeah," You breathe. His eyes are so warm.

"But at the same time... Nothing beats the real thing, in my opinion. It's not the same when it's planned out."

He cocks his head to the side a little. "Are you worried?"

"I wasn't when she said that, way back," you admit, hands twisting. "But... I don't know. That was pretty amazing, back there."

Sunwoo blinks, feigning innocence. "Our kiss?"

"Yeah," you mumble, blushing. "So now, I. Well. I don't know. Maybe she was on to something."

"No way," Sunwoo says, grinning, scooting a little closer. "There's nothing like that rush of uncertainty and just pure... realness that comes from a true kiss. You'll see, next time you do it. I'm sure of it. Don't worry."

You smile, and give a little shrug. "Okay. If you say so."

"And if not, well, I can't help it if I'm such a good kisser that no one else will compare."

Sunwoo giggles when you swing the pillow at him, eliciting a yelp.

"Should've known that would boost your ego too much."

"It's an excellent pickup line, though," he grins, hugging the pillow so you can't assault him with it. "Like, after kissing you, I'm not sure real kisses will do it for me... You should save that for future co-stars that you want to woo."

"I'm not trying to pick up or woo anyone, I was honestly worried!" You protest, glad that the lighting is low so he can't see your blushing cheeks as you get up.

"No, I know," he says quickly, "I'm not making fun, it was just... cute."

"Cheeky," You grin. "Goodnight, Sunwoo. Don't let the monsters and evil spirits drawn to big egos get ya."

Sunwoo chuckles. "I won't. I'm monster repelling. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Cut!" The director yells, and you turn your head, looking back and Sunwoo with a grin. He's already smiling at you, and it widens when your eyes meet.

You'd been right, the practice session did blow everyone away at the reading, and it helped even more now when they're actually filming.

"Love the energy," the director comments, flipping through the script. "But I'm thinking, maybe we could get even more passion in here? Heat it up a little?"

The writer scribbles notes and Sunwoo nods quickly, getting back to the starting position. You swallow thickly. More heat, eh? Great idea.

"Sunwoo if you can grab her more, like, intensely, that'd be great. And Y/n, really lean into it, like the character is giving in a little more. Show how much they want each other."

Splendid.

"Action!"

You do the scene as usual up until the kiss, and Sunwoo does like he's told, he ups the ante. Grabs you by the small of your back and molds you together until you don't know where you end and he starts. He bites your lip and you gasp, trace his jaw, his neck, and feel your pulse beating in wild protest. This is not good for your heart at all.

Pro actors are probably able to separate realities and not become so affected. But, like Sunwoo said, isn't it better if you like it and won't have to act so much?

"Cut! Wonderful, guys—let's do one more where we barely keep within the rating. Just to see."

Sunwoo eyes you, almost a little concerned, drinking his water.

"I just need a drink, I'll be quick," you yell, jogging to the water cooler.

Sunwoo's there when you turn around, looking that way again, like he's almost shy.

"Is there anything that's... off limits?" he asks, timidly fiddling with his cup. "I really don't want to overstep, but since we're going off script, I just. Yeah. Tell me and I won't do it."

You smile, swirling the leftover water in the cup. It's very attractive that he asks.

"I mean, no, I don't think there is... I don't know what you could do that would be crossing the line, really? Obviously, I'm not going to undress or anything. But other than that... I think... touching is okay."

Sunwoo guffaws and you laugh a little, obvious tension in the air.

"Okay, uh. Good," Sunwoo breathes. "Then. Let's go, I guess."

You get back into your positions, and you shoot him a thumbs up before it starts. Even though this—this is dangerous for sure.

"Aaand, action!"

This kiss feels different, maybe because this is something you haven't rehearsed for, in the same sense. You're both unprepared. You're not sure what Sunwoo has acted in before, but you can't imagine it's been quite this heated.

Sunwoo kisses you like it's his last hour or something, and you try to keep up, let yourself be swept away. Normally, you're very aware of your surroundings and the numerous people filming, watching and moving around in the room. Now, strangely, your mind blanks. It's a power Sunwoo has that scares you a little bit, making you forget everything.

The two of you push it. Sunwoo bites your lip again and makes you blush, pulling your hair a little. You let your hands roam properly, feeling his chest rise and fall and tracing the lean muscles on his abdomen. When you rest your hands on his hips, you boldly push one of them under the hem of his t-shirt, making contact with warm and soft skin, and Sunwoo full on moans into your mouth.

To say that it's affecting you would be an understatement.

Sunwoo traces the outline of your bra over the shirt you're wearing until he's fully cupping your breast, and wow. Wow.

It isn't until you finds yourself wanting to undo his pants, that the acute realization of the setting and people surrounding you dawns on you once more.

"Cut!"

There's scattered applause in the room, and you fall away from Sunwoo, panting, blushing, and sort of embarrassed that you let it go that far. But it was what you were supposed to do, so after a few seconds of catching your breath you get up, brush dust off your knees again, and look into Sunwoo's eyes almost defiantly, as if to prove to everyone that you're no wuss. This was nothing, you're no worse than a real actor.

And Sunwoo looks back up at you like a deer in the headlights, shuffling awkwardly on the floor while he waves off your outstretched hand.

"Um. Just. Give me a minute," he breathes, grinning sheepishly at the ground, face pink, and you could die when you realize why he can't get up yet.

"Oh, oh. Sorry—" you blurt, apologizing for some reason, and Sunwoo bites his lip, still grinning, his hand balled in a helpless fist next to him.

When you meet again, it's sundown, and you stand outside next to the food truck, watching beads of condensation roll leisurely down the closed hatch. Sunwoo stops next to you, hair wet from the shower, and leans on the truck, not realizing it's all slippery from the humidity.

He slips a little and bites his lip again like he wants to laugh, but thinks better of it. You watch him amused, eyebrow raised.

"Hey, uh," he starts, scratching his neck. "I just wanted to check that we're good, or that—well. Check if I need to apologize for... Before. Because I will, if you were... Um. If I made you uncomfortable. That was not my intent."

He meets your eyes, blush rising stubbornly on his face, and you aren't the slightest bit surprised by the urge to kiss him now. You can feel it in your fingers how they long to pull him in by the collar of his shirt and kiss away any awkwardness between you.

"Don't worry," you smile, and watch his shoulders relax a little more. "In my book, that was just superb acting."

Sunwoo finally lets out a breathy laugh that trills through the air as if it's been caged in. As if he was genuinely nervous that you were cross with him, which is ridiculous but endearing.

"Good," he mumbles, and you notice the tips of his ears are red now as well. "Good, um. Yeah. Final day of filming tomorrow, huh?"

You grin at the subject change and put your hands in your pockets, following Sunwoo on reflex as he turns slow, and starts walking to where his car is parked.

"Time flies," you agree, a twinge of something sad in your stomach. "It felt like it would last longer."

"Yeah," Sunwoo mumbles, stopping, clicking his keys. "It did."

You watch the car unlock and Sunwoo makes no move to get in, just stands there, looking at his keys jingling in his hand.

"Hey, you need a ride?" he says then, and you don't know if it's wishful thinking, or if he actually sounds hopeful. If he wants to drag this out for as long as possible, like you do.

"Yeah!" you say, a little too enthusiastically, even though you don't need a ride and you both know it.

Sunwoo's grin is wider than it's been all day.

Follow for part 2! It won't be very long, I'm working on it and it's about to get steamy🌞

[samaahhsh]

Life Reboot: Part 1

There is exactly two weeks until school reopens and I am yet to accomplish all of the things that I told myself that I would do during this break. Come with me as I get ready to go back to school and prep myself for the upcoming academic year. Here are a few things that I'll be doing to bolster this process:

Working out everyday: I realized that I have become weaker and less energetic lately due to me sitting at home for most of the day and that's gonna hinder my ability to perform my best when school start so I'll start of with short walks and simple stretches first and then move onto harder workouts.

Fixing my sleep schedule: I barely get anything done nowadays despite telling myself that I would do it because I find myself really tired and lethargic. Fixing my sleep schedule can help tackle this issue greatly and also help in increasing my energy levels for the day.

Digital Detox: The past month has been quite boring with nothing much to do and I turned to social media and forms of short-form entertainment to combat this and it has turned into a full blown addiction lately. It's scary how much time I'm losing without even realizing. I'm gonna be off of social media like Instagram because that's where my main problems lie. I'll be completely off this entire week and use it in a controlled manner next week.

Reconnecting Socially: Being an introvert I find it quite easy to just spend my days alone without talking to anyone and that isn't exactly the healthiest thing to do so I'm gonna be trying to keep in touch with my friends more and also try to hang out with them. This can help me get back into that mindset that'll be required in school.

Going through what will be taught: I'm gonna be completely honest right now and say that I have forgot everything that was being taught in school so I'll be using this time to go through everything and actually be able to focus in class as well instead of sitting there lost trying to remember what they taught.

This is all for this week I'll update next week and let you know how I did. Let me know what you want me to talk about and I'll try my best to do it. <3

@samaahhsh