#idk if im being too picky...
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just finished s5 of twd... can someone just tell me what happened?
like i enjoy the show bc its kinda easy to have in the bg... but also like i find (other than the prison x woodbury arc) there is rarely any like... plot...
#no hate to the show#its just sometimes hard to really see where everything is going#i get that its showing how ppl would live in an apocalypse but also its a tv show and should have a plot through seasons and series yknow?#like not to compare it to my pookie tlou...#but like they had a clear goal / objective pretty much the whole time (get ellie to the fireflies/find tommy)#this one its like wow we found a town and here is some random political drama#like sure but for a whole season??#like prison/woodbury slayed bc there was a clear antagonist and plotlines#idk if im being too picky...#wildlywatches <3#wildlywatches <3 the walking dead#the walking dead#twd#also the random sickness during prison arc just for that never to be brought up again#i thought it wouldve been so cool to have like super-zombies or smth
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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You can always tell when a woman who has never given birth before is in a movie acting out a birth scene, it’s too unrealistic.
#sunkissedliterarylightofchrist#random#Someone sent me some thirty second clip of a part from that Netflix Queen Charlotte show#And the part where she’s pushing out her baby specifically#And like… I’m sure that is a very hard thing to act#But the scream is also so unrealistic 😭#I mean… im sure some women scream?#But it’s more like a grunt force or ‘ahh’ of pain?#Idk#maybe I’m being too nit-picky here#The one thing I do know that it’s not ‘more realistic to scream’ bc it’s a historical thing with bad/no medicine#Yeah well the moms I’ve had the joy of seeing give birth didn’t have any either#So like… that’s different/not an excuse#Hmmm idk if this is valid or if I’m being rude and/or impossible here hmmm
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👽🩶🛸 Occult Legacy Challenge: Alien🛸🩶👽
Introducing baby Nova Cassiopeia O'ccult!🫶🏼
#thesims4#ts4#jira sims#occult legacy challenge#ts4 occult legacy#ts4 occult#ts4 lookbooks#ts4 lookbook#the sims 4#ts4 infant lookbook#asphodeloccultlegacy#SHE IS SO CUTE LOOK AT MY BABY GIRLL AAAAAAAA🥹🩶#didnt know if i wanted her either grey or purple but light purple won in the end#and i struggled what shape antenna to give her too😮💨. yall i hate being indecisive lmao#shes such a cutie! her quirks are: Loves sound. Picky Eater. Self Soother.#which i kind of love all those because i imagine an alien would have different taste to humans so that makes sense#and loving sound maybe she hears on a different frequency than humans but its pleasing to her? idk but its cute#ngl yall i thought about doing a lookbook for her human but she is never in her human form...so im not gonna do all that lmao🙂↔️#ts4 alien#The journey of Riley not wanting to he a dad and struggling to connect w/ his daughter -> loving his baby girl so much he loves being a dad#hes such a good dad 🥹 im proud of him cos he REALLY didnt want to have kids but he loves his daughter so much now#gen 2: nova
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I woke up earlier than usual today so I decided to doodle smth. Then I proceeded to spend over 2 hours on it because for some ungodly reason I decided now was a good time to fuck around with thin lineart again
#keese draws#oc art#oc#lobotomy corporation#lobotomy corporation oc#anyways say hi to zama Ive been trying to rework her stuff a bit recently#Ive also been messing around with her and ellie maybe being buds but idk if Ill commit to that#Im just desperate to give ellie friends and these two are in close proximity in both lob corp and ruina so Id like them to get along#and zama is fairly social and not very picky abt it so idk they could be work friends that maybe evolve into smth more#anyways zama is a proud member of the has modded gear club and for most of the others Ill probably just keep it for her specifically I#decided to just mush it and borrowing heaven suit together since otherwise she and anthony's gear would look too similar for my liking#idk if itll stick but I like this design well enough so as long as I dont start hating it randomly Ill probably keep it#anyways Im going to go eat now and also drink some water I am withering away
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i finished veilguard, my life has no meaning, also what yhe FUCK was that post credit scene, im afraid. and i cant wait for the next one tbh. i hope my rook gets to be a lil well remembered hero who stays ready as the veilguard but has decided to protect thedas from demons and twisted spirits using their expertise as a mourn watcher and my likely connection to the fade, ya boy would spend time learning ancient elvhen funeral practices from bellara and how they effect the fade too.
i just want my boy to have some peace with his husband, go on ...safer adventures...cause his heart nearly gave out a few times and itll take a while to put it back together again. hes always going to be looking for harding and honouring her too, i want to think she was the one he went to when he had panic attacks. i think hed be searching spirits and the fade, and hed go visit hardings mom (would probably cry more than she does too especially if she looks like lace). hed have tea with mahanon and visit the griffins, and the caretaker a lot, but when its all over and everything is mosty recovered and he visits vorgoth and myrna he gets a lecture from myrna and a begrudgingly relieved hug, and vorgoth doesnt really say much but takes him aside and pats his head like when he was child and would hide from his lessons because they made him feel dumb.
i love dragon age, i never want the series to end, i need to revisit inquisition again
#ive seen people speculate about what vorgoth is and those things kinda looked like them??#BUT UH.#PLS DONT INTRODUCE MORE GODS OR GODLIKE BEINGS#the next game is going to be so interesting if they take into account the choices made in this game with the archive#and how solas's story ended#and also the fucking CALLING.#im sorry but plot wise thats ones of the few complaints i have#they said it changed but that didnt seem to impact anything#and it wouldnt! but if it changed bevause of the gods....but might recede with solas paying penance?#what does that mean for thedas and the way the blight ebolved#and the calling#was that a ghilan'nain thing or was it soemthing else....since clearly we know now its not necessarily a death sentence#did the gods design the concept of the calling to fuel more darkspawn creation or was it soemthing that just...happened?#i did love this game a lot but i think it would have been better if it had been a tiny but more like inquisition#for the hideout at least and getting to talk to companions and learn more about them a bit#some of the game felt a little incomplete and not quite as..filled out as it could have been maybe#i think the final act should have been a bit different with the gods or at least elgar'nan#but idk it felt.....so much more depressing than da usually is in a lot of ways and id have prefered to have to make other choices#and not like...choosing what my companions lived turn out to me???#i love emmerich but i shouldnt have had to choose between lich and manfred that wasnt fair#i prefer the politics of dai and the justice of da2#i still think origins was ass but it was fine for setting up such a good series#i just wish veilgaurd hadnt been so depressing at times and maybe it hits me harder because im an elf in every game but#if it had been less depressing i think my nick picky feelings about it would be easier to tolerate#2 was still the best but dai was my favourite too#i did really love how much being trans could be talked about for my rook tho!!! and taashs story was amazing!!!!!#and i want to see more of that!!!#but i wish the background non plot stuff had been as rounded out as dai#but this was the perfect amount of sidequests imo#dai had too many and the story was too short
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after finishing the pluto anime im still confused on why they changed the "epsilon dont die" scene from the manga? Like they changed where it occurs (in the anime after epsilon "defeats" pluto vs in the manga its right before he leaves for the safehouse) which. im not a fan of. but then to have wassily say "thank you epsilon" doesnt have the same impact that saying "dont die" has. to me, at least, "dont die" means come back, it means i want you to keep being my parental figure dont leave. whereas thank you sounds more like a goodbye? Especially cause when epsilon does die, wassily then cradles his hand and says thank you, so placing that line earlier lessens the impact of that as well. idk its one thing to cut a scene for time but this deliberate change just didnt seem necessary to me.
#idk pluto thoughts#maybe im being too picky i just really really like epsilon a lot so i might just be over analyzing but still....
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that moment when you realize that your family members probably have undiagnosed mental conditions and desperately want (and have at one point literally begged for u and them to go to a therapist) but they deny that said conditions even exist
that moment when you realize "uh. i might have inherited that ngl"
#mental health#based off of me realizing i might be autistic but high functioning#as opposed to my little brother who is low functioning#but i didnt know it because any time i brought it up to my mom she just goes#“youre being dramatic” or “its normal#but when i bring it up to my friends theyre like “?? what no thats not normal”#my entire life i thought throwing up cuz a food has a texture i dont like was a picky eater thing#that not liking sleeves that arent super loose because i hated the way it rubs my arms is not normal#that hating going to church or having to go to the bathroom in theaters cuz its too loud is not normal#plus having difficulties in reading people's expressions and emotions and just having to guess... idk#i just thought that was normal but. its not#and im also realizing that depression runs in my moms side of the family (and my grandma probably has bipolar and narcissism??)#sorry for trauma dumping randomly but damn the teaaa#but yeah uh. i remember when my mom made fun of me cuz i kept stimming by throwing tape against a wall n catching it#her going “you're not autistic like your brother#so dont do it!“#like dang girl
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Alright, I've blocked other blog guy
I feel kind of like bad for him cs I've not explained myself at all? But also like thank fuck I won't be jumpscared by unannounced penis at 7.03am, y'know?
#like. im fine with penis so long as it's announced? yknow?#lil convo first and then ask to send y'know?#don't just send whatever#like we'd had the lil convos before so maybe he thought he didn't have to keep asking? or something?#idk man use your words please for the love of god#am i being too uhhhh idk picky? i don't think i am i think that's pretty reasonable
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can't sleep doing kinktober editing like this

#the graphics aren't giving idk maybe im being too picky#also everything needs more editing#these are the longest pieces of writing I've ever posted
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once again my petty aro ass so grateful gen exists as a tag for fics but also boy I wish people wrote more genfic coz I'm starving
#the sheepy speaks#the sheepy is aro#the sheepy is petty#ill beat this dead horse to dirt#but god above cant find shit that aint ship in some fandoms#and i dont have enough time in my day to write what i wanna read all the time#the auDHD really says ''you cannot stick with one idea for more than five seconds''#and also ''fuck you''#anyway please write more genfic for me specifically#im a selfish bitch and want to not have a cool angst fic be ship-centric#esp when its a collection of#and i quote#''angst oneshots''#instead of ''[ship name] angst oneshots''#maybe im too used to yon olden days#when there were no tags#or maybe im getting the wattpad authors rolling in#or maybe im being too picky#idk#im just feeling it rn#no fandom or ship names said here but theres a difference between the ship existing and the ship being the focus#and boy howdy id prefer the former
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Got caught in that trap that's "oh I'll just do a quick sketch" and that sketch ends up taking over an hour....
#trust it's still a sketch and looks messy#and maybeeeee I'll color it??#idk it's for an harpg and you can basically do whatever you want for the prompts#and they aren't strict about how you rate yourself too much so im still putting it at standard even if it doesnt look like my standard#or idk maybe I'll still label it as quick#the reason it's taking so long is i chose a weird perspective and im being picky about getting it “right”
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but like for real idk where i have this idea that i dont need anything from. something i just want? yeah but i dont need it. something i need or would actively benefit from? yeah but i COULD go without it so i should and if i really needed it id try to make do with waht i have to begin with. something i actually 100% need? i should really look around first and see if i can find something cheaper or some way to do it myself and if i cant it just shouldnt happen.
like i really wanna talk to a physiotherapist about my back and see if we can do soemthing about my posture, my body in general but mainly my back, see if theres a reaon why theres One Spot that cracks so much in my back. but at the same time i should just go online and see if i can find videos on how to do stretches myself and i should do those instead, i shouldnt need an instructor and its actually embarrassing that i would want someone to teach me how to stretch or work out properly. same w food. i wanna try something new? actually no i probably wont cook it and i should save my money for food i actually need. buying toilet cleaner? no i dont need it i have a pack at home, despite that one being dogshit and me having to buy a new one is directly linked to how it doesnt clean well, so i should make do until ive used the one i already have. new underwear? not a neccessity despite it being a neccessity and something i could benefit from having more of. art supplies i will use? no i have other art supplies and buying things for my hobbies or just so i can have fun isnt a neccessity even though joy is a literal neccessity
like idk. i choose to blame my mom and dad for being bad parents and never spending money on me if they didnt absolutely have to, my mom being a shitty legal guardian who made me do all the work while retaining control over all legal things and not including me in it, on top of like the lack of food in my childhood and teens and adult life on account of either bad parenting or extreme mental illness or just not having budgeting skills and not having an easy time going to the store at all because of the lack of transportation.
that and my mom and brother consistently being like "yeah but you dont need it" as if they know what i need and dont need and they have any say in what i own and dont own and what i can and cant buy, like i cant even see a nice shirt and be like oh look cus ill immediately get like "yeah but how many shirts do you own do you really need that" instead of just "oh thats so cool" or "oh nice" or "nice look at this though" like. im an adult. i can decide myself what i need and dont need.
but yeah i think all of the whole bullshit going on as a kid and a teen and with the house, which i literally can not get into without feeling really upset and angry and just not understanding how anyone could treat me like that when i was so little or needed help becoming independent or i was so ill and so on. i was not able to see it in the moment but i was not having a good time at all a lot of the time back then and it was genuinely not something anyone should have had to go through. like what the fuck
but yeah im wondering if thats part of why im now just instinctively depriving myself of all and anything. like food, clothes, hobbies, even just going outside for a walk is a fuckery to deal with for some reason. like. what even. like maybe i should just be allowed to exist and need things?? its not gonna kill me to buy a sift so i can sift chunks out of sauces or buy more underwear or get a box or a trashcan for my bedroom or whatever. idk. its dumb as shit i gotta stop doing that. mone IS tight and things are getting more expensive but that doesnt mean i cant make my life easier wherever possible or buy fucking milk
#talkies#idk i got angry when i thought about being a kid and i think it got too much for my brain so it shut down#its a lot and i dont like thinking about it cus its just. too much.#and after that my brain just went what was even the original point??? what were we talking about? and now im mostly just lost lol#what WAS i thinking about. i think i felt bad and embarrassed that i wanted to buy something to make sifting sauces with bits in them easie#and then i was like 'someone is gonna read this and think im an idiot for not just eating the bits and think im a fucking whiner'#but i dont like bits!! i cant stand them! i dont eat food like that and the sauce is so good but i cant stand the bits so i remove them!!#its p common i think and im not really morally wrong or economically wrong for not wanting to eat the bits or wanting a sift lmfao#the more i think about this the more im like. im bullying myself? over bits? childhood trauma caused by parents really hits huh#but like ive been like that forever. there are certain things i avoid buying or eating cus i used to get shamed for it my mom and dad#and im scared that if i buy it everyone will look at me and just know that i was shamed for it and theyll agree with mom and dad#just instinctively theyll know and theyll be like well yeah its your own fault we look at you with shame for being a whiner and being picky#like idk. i dont think anyone would notice. nice people dont notice. mean people shame you for having favourite foods and childhood trauma.
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i've had enough of the cage
the bars are digging into my skin
let me out
#limon talks#using dating apps suck#i attract the wrong kind of attention#like sure i guess im being picky#if it was just about talking to someone. being wanted. fucking someone. then yeah i guess i have options#but not from the people id ideally choose#'beggars cant be choosers'. well id like a choice. to be fucking selfish. to get what i want.#i wouldnt want to fucking settle#idk im mostly angry at being ignored all the time#ive messaged like dozens of people. nothing.#im always polite as hell but i guess that approach is too boring#clubs and bars just arent my scene#not that there are any gay bars nearby#ive thought about joining a queer bookclub but the idea of driving hours to do that is stupid#anyone cute on here is like hundreds to thousands of miles away#where the hell am i supposed to meet people
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Another quick drawing from last night
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc posting#oc#ocs#oc art#experimented a lil bit with giving her some more visible dark fur#I think I like it but Im gonna have to draw her a few more times to make sure I think#my main concern is that it might make her look a lil too similar to mason pattern wise#which is already smth Ive struggled with in the past lol#also yeah I <3 using brushes incorrectly#idc what the creators of any given brush intended if I can use it for funky lineart I Will use it for lineart#also yeah Ive been grabbing a bunch of free brush packs lately so thats why Im actually drawing shit again lol#tbf the glory drawing was me wanting to use a base procreate brush Ive been meaning to mess around with but I used some texture brushes too#with all my new texture brushes making bullshit backgrounds will be a breeze 👍#oh also Ive been trying to use those dumb layer filter mode thingies for the first time lately with my shading#idk how Im feeling abt them tho tbh multiply is nice ig but I kind of dont like how it dulls out the colors sometimes#like I know it makes the shading more coherent but idk sometimes I like the more grading shading#idk can yall even tell the different dndmdkdndh#I might just be being too picky with my colors or smth I always tend to assume the worst abt my colors#anyways sceduled and now eepy time from the past and good morning future me
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#the likeness isnt rly likenessing so its Just Some Guy#im so tired rn#idk why i just felt like posting this somewhere even tho#shephart#wow look a trad i havent done one of these babies in a thousand years#honestly pretty fun to not have to think of being on model/replicatable design#but that obv led to... less recognizability and also did it even help my efforts/art skill overall?#meh i cant be too picky tho when i only draw like an hour or two weekly i cant expect too much i guess#not bts#not tagging this w proper tags tho bc embarrass#i quite liked the bg color i slapped on it digitally tho lmao#trad to digital bc i wasnt confident to put blue originally bc i thought it would look patriotic#i can always count on tumblr to be my cosy void i can throw things into#love a cosy void#no expectations is actually the best
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