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luthnethril · 6 months ago

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📓

Put "📓" or some other version of a book emojii into my inbox and i'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but I daydream about

one that's recurring and lives rent-free in my head even though it has barely any plot is a setting where the elves go to Valinor, but the Valar do not wage war on Melkor and imprison him into the Void, so he's just kind of. free out there because he ran off to hide and create Angband. Which is worse for the elves who remain in Beleriand and the Girdle of Melian is probably put up earlier. Anyway.

The main part of this fic idea is that we have Fëanor in Valinor with Nerdanel and his (so far) three kids with another one on the way living in the equivalent of an one-family caravan moving around every so often to explore more of Valinor's lands. They don't check in too often with Finwë and the palace due to a lack of a postal service in the middle of nowhere and anyway at some point in the early noontide of Valinor baby Maedhros is like. 40 years old, baby Maglor is like 20 while Celegorm is the equivalent of a very excited toddler and Caranthir is still an idea in the womb.

They've settled just outside this forest up North and one day Maedhros and Maglor are out playing/exploring the forest (bc, yk, this was the land where they were all going to be perfectly safe forever) when Maedhros picks up that there's something Wrong™; like perhaps a chill, or some more darkness than is usual in the North so far away from the Two Trees.

Now, at this point they do live in a Melkor-free Valinor, but because Melkor hasn't been imprisoned there are more thoughts spared for the elves who remained in Beleriand (and thought to be all dead) and Fëanor as well as Maedhros and Maglor have grown up with stories of the Dark Rider and the Journey West from Cuiviénen, so Maedhros feels the air shift and thinks. I've heard of this happening before.

So, he makes Maglor hide inside a tree trunk and tells him they're going to 'play a game' where he has to stay hidden in the tree humming the "don't notice me" song enchantment he's perfected for hiding from Nerdanel when she wants to make them do chores and make no sound at all or get out no matter what until Maedhros tells him it's okay to come out.

(Maglor has not picked up that anything's wrong with the forest, but he's picked up that his brother is worried and he's getting more scared every time Maedhros refuses to tell him what's going on).

Anyway, point is, Maglor does as he's told and hides and Maedhros goes as far away from the tree as he can trying to make sense of what's going on and then. Melkor shows up. He appears as an extension of the darkness, more solid and bottomless eating up the forest that existed behind him before he showed up, with sharp, visible teeth and glowing red eyes. No body, just solid clouds of light-blocking darkness surrounding small Maedhros.

Small Maedhros, with all the bravery that knowing Maglor is hiding behind him gives him, looks up at Melkor and lies. He plays dumb, he asks to know who he is, why he's here and lets Melkor underestimate him to make sure the Vala never suspects Maglor is also there and as vulnerable as Maedhros himself is. He tells Melkor that he has to get back to his father because he promised his brother he's take him out to play in the forest. That he's alone here and he needs to get back.

Melkor finds baby Maedhros very entertaining and does not suspect that he's being lied to by a child of Valinor and tries to trick/convince Maedhros to go with him, that he'll take him back to his family when 'we'll play a game' does not work. Maedhros insists that he knows the way back and doesn't need any help, thank you. Eventually Melkor runs out of patience and when Maedhros runs away from him reaches out with more darkness and shrouds Maedhros with it, taking him away.

The darkness goes away and the forest returns to normal. Fëanor, pregnant Nerdanel and baby Celegorm go out to find Maedhros and Maglor; they only find Maglor inside the tree when he passes out and stops singing the enchantment. They don't find Maedhros.

They pack up everything and ride back to Valinor to tell Finwë what's going on. Maglor wakes up on the way but he's in no state to say anything; his eyes are wide and he's shaking and he starts crying silently and humming the enchantment again and it takes Nerdanel hours to convince him he's safe now, at which point Maglor slumps against her, catatonic, and does not say anything else.

(Needless to say that Fëanor, scared shitless, is having an absolutely horrible time).

Finwë sends an army of search parties out North with Fëanor, but they never find a trace of Maedhros except the little copper eight-pointed star brooch with the red ruby in the middle Fëanor made for Maedhros when he was born and Maedhros dropped on the ground on purpose. They send people to Mahanaxar to ask the Valar for help. Maglor, scared and not talking, barely moving, tells Celegorm enough about the 'darkness' that took Maedhros that when Celegorm relays it to his parents and Finwë and Indis, everyone knows what exactly it was that took Maedhros.

They never find him. The Valar are all very sorry, but they can't do anything about it. Melkor shouldn't have been able to come into Valinor, just don't go up so far from the Trees again. It should be fine. It will never happen again.

Not really much plot after that actually. I've been thinking a lot about Fëanor's sons and their cousins growing up and Maglor being the only one who remembers Maedhros because he was the only one old enough to, Celegorm remembers him vaguely. None of their cousins have met Maedhros; Caranthir and the rest of the brothers are born and grow up with the knowledge that they have a brother Maedhros who's gone which their parents don't talk about (Nerdanel starts crying even as she tries to tell them about Maedhros so they'll know and Fëanor's face goes terrifyingly blank and the air sizzles around him so they never dare to ask). Maglor is always sad and melancholy and prone to shouting when people choose to forget Maedhros ever existed and his brothers minus Celegorm don't really connect with him because Maglor is making minimal effort to communicate in turn.

Eventually Maglor puts up a play/musical that's just what happened that day when Maedhros disappeared and that's the first time anyone really finds out how that went down and why Maglor feels so guilty and responsible about it in a way everyone thought up to then that made no sense/was just the trauma of meeting the Dark Rider. Maglor makes sure the costume for Melkor does justice to the terrifying embodiment of darkness with teeth and glowing eyes he saw as a child, which disturbs everyone greatly.

It makes the Valar very uncomfortable.

I had an idea of Fëanor obsessing over the idea of saving his son, never letting go or admitting that Maedhros is probably dead like Míriel and holding on to his grief and anger like it's the only thing keeping him from fading. Perhaps even going to Angband in secret to rescue Maedhros.

Another idea involves Maedhros being Melkor's personal favourite prisoner and being kept alive, meeting some of Mahtan's of Finwë's relatives in Angband, perhaps even escaping by himself when Melkor and Sauron are not there? Like I said, there's not much concrete plot besides the main idea here.

#the silmarillion #silmarillion #maedhros #maglor #feanor #nerdanel #finwe #melkor #thank you for the ask!#this is one my favourites “i think about it all the time but i dont think i could ever write” fics #mostly bc i have no idea what the plot of it is going to be #and also because it would probably need to be HUGE if i wanted to do justice to it #my personal hc is that maedhros disappears like a few years after finarfin is born actually #so none of fingolfin's or finarfin's children have been born yet #maedhros is like a hole in the family history that makes the grown ups sad and maglor like slightly insane #bc he's not dealing with knowing maedhros chose to put himself at risk to protect him very well #maedhros haunting the narrative etc etc #asks #my writing

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jazeswhbhaven · 11 months ago

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Wish good health and positive vibes to that salt anon, bless their salty heart.

With the MC stuff going down I think I felt I identified a few things. We know what happened with MC's parents but it's never been touched at all and I think PB made a huge mistake. Because that part is probably a good start to give some flesh on that bone that does nothing but bone every devil. Hence why people are complaining that MC is horny...yes it's a horny game but MC's only personality is that and that can fall short without any substance, or clash with the story.

The real questions that need to be ask is: What is WHB MC doing in the story to give them any merit? The answer is: not much. We could give them merit during the end of Chapter 3-4 with Nina and Leamas...but then the dildo thing ruined it. And speaking from the narrative...what else do we know about the MC? They're Solomon's descendant, and for the devils, Solomon was the big deal and very dear to them. But again, this is where the writing falls short. I remembered there was an argument about if the devils even value MC because they're MC and not Solomon's descendant but I won't touch on that we know the devils like MC and it's really just plot armor. I shouldn't be sitting here reading and wondering what EXACTLY makes the devils LIKE MC? Because MC barely has done a lick of anything than sit there and watch, oogles devils, gets kidnapped, gets hanged, etc etc. I guess for me, MC isn't impressive which I expect from a faceless character, they're frustrating because all they have going for them is their horny thoughts but they're ragdolled throughout the chapters and haven't done anything useful even though they're the key for this war deal going on(I swear if chapter 6 makes them a joke again I'm killing everyone in the room), and honestly any sort of situations that's meant to be funny isn't funny to me unless it's just the devils interacting. Then again I enjoy taking a backseat and watching characters interact than any MC in any game.

On a lighter note: if someone as useless as MC can have 6(7) kings and that many devils wanting their dick/cooch then please open the gates and ship all of us to Hell. Unlike MC who dawdles there, we're ALL willing.

Dialing back to answer some old inbox asks before all the new stuff happened (phewihavealottocatchupon)

But yes anon, I wonder though if your opinion on MC is the same after chapter 6 if you've finished it? I'd like to hear your thoughts now that we've seen a bit of push back from MC and them at least vocalizing things this time around.

Now since I don't know if you've finished the chapter, I won't go into too much detail but they DID slip up and it made me shake my head. But at the same time...they're human and perhaps that slip up was bond to happen. (if you did finish it and you know what I'm talking about feel free to chime in on that)

Without getting into Chapter 6, I feel that MC is indeed not giving me much to go on for the valid reason of their plot armor. I'm sure they can help with the entire underground lab thing that's going on, but from what I gather...chapter 7 is probably going to piss off most of us when it gets down to the wire of what MC needs to do.

But that's just my early predictions, I already feel my dread coming from that cliffhanger....

#whb #jwhbasks❓#cw whbmchate #chapter 6 discussions #mc takes

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str8aura-no-not-that-one · 1 year ago

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Str8aura,

I come to you in the hour of need!

Having recently reread your amazing ‘Death and Taxes’, I was again reminded of my inadequacy in this biz. I have no idea how you managed to craft such an immersive story and great characters in 50k words AND in less than a year, but you did. It would absolutely be a hit if published. I cannot believe I identified with a monster-town. My silly ass is in a constant state of schism between admiration and jealousy over every aspect of your writing, and I don’t appreciate this feeling at all! I know they say that we shouldn’t focus on comparing ourselves to others, but I disagree – I believe comparing your own stuff to better stuff is the only way to improve. And I’d love to improve. Could do without the crippling jealousy, though :P

While I still think my take on this world is worth seeing through to the end, I struggle with many elements. I’ve watched videos and read manuals about writing. Valuable material, but not quite enough. So here’s my question – would YOU mind giving me some tips? For starters maybe something about keeping yourself in line when scheduling, because that’s just an abysmal bloody disaster in my case. Also – structuring. You created a fantastic balance between dialogue, description, plot and character development, I feel my text often reads like an article (which makes sense ‘cause I worked with those). I’ve trimmed some fat already, but maybe I could keep going – especially with the bullshit magic-science stuff and overwriting the feels/thoughts. I liked writing it, but now I realize it can be exhausting to follow. Looong stretches when nothing really happens and people just feel sorry for themselves. But idk, that’s not always a big problem.

This brings me to the characters in general. I feel I did alright, but I have doubts. Relationships have never been my strong suit, which is… less than ideal for this hobby. In real life, I’m decidedly more of an observer than a participant, and this shows here and there. Perhaps it’s better that I didn’t use many perspectives because I’d struggle even more. In your story everyone knew about the curse, in mine only a few people do, and that happens over time. The ‘normal’ problems of the leads eventually converge with the paranormal one, so I thought it was best to not dedicate too much attention to the stuff that has little to do with either. But what do you think?

No matter what, I’m absolutely NOT giving up on the pretentious lingo, however :P We museum people are pretentious by trade! If you ever find some free time, could you perhaps check out a fragment of my fic and see what doesn’t work? It’s ‘Hateful’ on AO3. Don’t feel obligated to by any means, I know that just reading this sentence raised your blood pressure lol

And, last but not least, please tell me how to kill the envy demon. I HOPE it’s had its teeth in you at least once in the past, goddamnit XD Otherwise I’m a lost cause

Sorry for accosting you like this, but it’s been on my mind for too long. Release me from this prison!!!

Congrats again I hope you do end up publishing something one day

Hello, Plague. Waking up and finding this in my inbox told me that today might be alright. Thank you again for your excellent fanart.

Jealousy

The man who I can claim most truthfully is my most beloved friend is a writer like me. In fact, without their influence, I would not be a writer at all; They have encouraged me, proofread for me, criticized me, and guided me every step of the journey that has led me to who I am today. I would take a bullet for this man, as many times over as my body would allow.

He also holds popularity I have never achieved. He is the darling of the featured box, earns hundreds of likes and comments where I scrounge up tens, and has attracted the eyes and praise of people whom I am only a number to. When I look upon him, this man whom I love as if he were my own blood, I understand Salieri. I understand Brutus. I understand what it is like to love someone and yet feel a deep, shameful, green-eyed rage towards them. I firmly believe we do the same amount of work, try just as hard as each other, and yet he is beloved and I am not.

So it goes. Jealousy is the worst beast we as mortals can face, and we will be the flesh it feeds on if we allow it to. I am dreadfully sorry you feel this way about me, and honored at the same time, but I must remind you what on the internet it is easy to forget; I, as well as my beloved friend, am just a human. Nothing more, nothing less. It is fruitless to feel jealous, when that same energy could be devoted towards outmatching me. You think I'm good? Be better.

You cannot kill the envy demon. Don't try. You must learn to live with it, to accept it as you accept every other piece of yourself. And when you do that, you domesticate it.

Scheduling:

The tip I have learned, dedicated to heart, and use whenever I can is simple; Write up to a key stopping point, the point at which you feel will be make or break for the reader to decide whether or not they wish to stick with it. Publish that much, serialized, in small scheduled chunks.

You now have a fire lit under your ass. The only thing that outmatches my desire to procrastinate is my desire to please others, and thus I have no choice but to continue my schedule, with only a little leeway and wiggle room allotted by the aforementioned stored up slots so I do not blow my head off. I did not plan out Death and Taxes beforehand, save a vague idea of the premise; it was not even intended to have an overarching story, it was only meant to be an anthology. But by working steadily, making lots of mistakes, and deciding what felt right, I ended up after a year of work with the product you love.

Chapters, pages in a comic, it is all the same; If you want to work, find what is stronger than your procrastination drive, and turn it against yourself.

Structuring:

Every one of my stories begins life as a string of dialogue. No action tags, no [X] said, just dialogue like a script. Talking is, oftentimes, the core of any story. It is also what I, personally, am good at. I stimulate conversations with myself or my dog, try to respond as realistically as I can given what I know about the character, and then fill in the blanks with text afterwards. Dog optional.

This is not ideal for everyone, I understand. My greatest suggestion I can offer is to figure out what you are good at, and do that first. Even if your story looks unformatted, or unfinished, you must keep yourself working. Skip scenes if you wish. Write the parts you want to write, and then get the rest later. But at the end, and this is the most important part, it must not look like you did that. It must look like you are a genius who effortlessly spat out an entire sequence in one afternoon, flowing like a dream, never contradicting itself. A writer is a liar, first and foremost. This is why they are so often thought of as geniuses, when in reality they spent seven hours trying to figure out how to describe a plant.

Pretentious Lingo:

Verily, I agree.

Hateful has been in my Ao3 library for some time. I apologize for my slowness.

As a final note, I must remind you as an author that you must keep reading. Length, medium, and popularity of the work matter not. Read, read, read, and the more you examine the style of other authors, the more you will decide what you want your own to look like. I set out writing every story of mine with an idea of what story I want it to resemble; 'I want this to feel like Kraven's Last Hunt', 'I want this to feel like The Blue Fox', 'I want this to feel like The Odyssey'; whatever. As a storyteller, you must always honor other storytellers. Never forget that.

Also, get a proofreader. Hope this helped. Tell your friends to give me money.

#my posts #longpost #death and taxes #hateful

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gilded-sunrays · 9 months ago

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✦•┈ᯓ. Rules for making requests.ᐟ

ʚɞ┆First off, I would like to clarify that I won't be writing any explicit content; hence, I would appreciate it if such requests are not made. Other than that, you are free to request anything.

ʚɞ┆I also want to mention that I don’t have any triggers, and it’s pretty hard to offend me. So don’t hesitate to share anything—any content that might be sensitive will be labeled accordingly. [Please feel free to reach out if I may have missed anything!]

ʚɞ┆While it may seem obvious, I’ll say it again—please, DO NOT repost, copy, rewrite, or translate any of my work. If you’d like to reference it anywhere (especially regarding theories), please ask for my permission first.

ʚɞ┆Please note that it might take me a while to respond to inboxes. Don’t be discouraged if I haven’t replied to your requests yet; I may have seen them and could be working on a response. My busy schedule makes it challenging to reply quickly. Your patience is deeply appreciated!

ʚɞ┆Finally, this blog is all about keeping things positive and drama-free. Anyone that aims to stir up unnecessary negativity or controversy will be promptly blocked. I genuinely welcome any constructive feedback you may have about me. However, any form of hate will not be accepted.

✦•┈ᯓ. Rules for Roleplaying.ᐟ

Firstly, I want to clarify that this isn't solely a roleplay blog. I often receive various requests because I enjoy writing beyond just roleplaying [drabbles, imagines, theories etc etc]. If you have any issues with some ooc content here and there, then you are free to unfollow. Moving on:

ʚɞ┆OCs, crossovers, ships, crack fics, etc., are all welcome. Feel free to introduce any character you wish to see Yoriichi interact with, including the possibility of Yoriichi being your chosen muse!

ʚɞ┆The portrayal of my muses will be as canon to the manga as possible. I will make every effort to keep my personal headcanons to a minimum, and I would really appreciate it if my writing partner could do the same.

ʚɞ┆Regarding NSFW content; you won’t find any on my blog, nor am I comfortable writing anything explicit. Light shipping, flirting, romance, fluff, or similar interactions are totally fine, but let’s keep it on the softer side.

ʚɞ┆ Regarding shipping and relationships; I believe it’s important for the characters to build chemistry and have meaningful interactions first, rather than jumping straight into shipping. I would prefer if we had already written together beforehand and perhaps discussed it in advance. Besides, being fiercely loyal towards Uta, Yoriichi is very unlikely to engage in a relationship that easily.

ʚɞ┆When it comes to violence, blood etc, I'm fine with anything. As I mentioned, I’m open to various themes, but only if the plot calls for it. I won’t tolerate any unnecessary graphic content or spiteful comments directed at my muses.

ʚɞ┆Regarding the length of my writing; I am flexible with pretty much everything, however, I generally enjoy multi-paragraph roleplays. I can adapt to different lengths if needed.

ʚɞ┆Regarding plotting; I’m comfortable with either approach. Whether you want to plan out the next steps or prefer the thrill of surprises, I’m totally on board with whatever you choose.

ʚɞ┆You will get what you give. If I find that you aren't putting in any effort with the replies, I will not be putting any effort either. I find it hard to stay motivated, especially knowing that the other person likely isn't even interested.

ʚɞ┆So, if you ever feel like your interest is waning or you need a break, then please feel free to tell me. The main goal of roleplaying is to have fun. If you decide you want to stop engaging altogether, you’re welcome to soft-block or hard-block.

ʚɞ┆Most importantly, have fun! <3

๋࣭⭑⚝Thank you!๋࣭~⚝๋࣭⭑

#𝐋𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗂𝗌 ᑲ𝗂𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝗍ɦα𐓣 α𐓣𝗒 ⱺ𐓣𝖾 ꭑα𐓣║𝐎𝐎𝐂 #Rules #kny rp #kny #tsugikuni yoriichi #yoriichi rp #demon slayer #demon slayer yoriichi #kimetsu no yaiba #kny rp blog #kny x reader #Yoriichi Tsugikuni rp #yoriichi tsugikuni #kny yoriichi

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ultalliance · 10 months ago

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Status: Low Activity

Welcome to the ultalliance, ran by The Archfey (30s, any w/ fem terms). This is a comic-based multifandom multimuse held together by plot convenience! This is a temped pin while we get things sorted over here, but I can't wait to get writing with you all!

IMPORTANT (includes temp. muse list) - INBOX STARTERS - ASK MEMES - OPENS

Below is where you'll find my rules!

l. This blog is entirely unaffiliated with the fandom, I don't participate in anything from any of the fandoms outside of this blog.

ll. This blog is private. Private means that this blog is mutuals-only! This shouldn't scare you off from following me, as I'm not too selective with who I follow back under most circumstances. However, if I don't follow back, please don't take it personally, alright? It's for my own comfort if I don't follow back, or perhaps even block. Everyone is allowed to decide what they're comfortable with, so please extend that hospitality back to me, a'ight?

lll. I block personals/non-rp blogs unless they're clearly labeled to have an rp blog attached to it, or if it's a personal of.. well, someone I rp with. So if you're a personal without rping ties, know that I shall explode you with my eldritch powers.

lV. I am more than willing to write crossovers, given the circumstance, along with eager to write with any OCs people may have. Feel free to throw whomever you wish my way within reason.

V. I don't mind reblog length, as it's entirely understandable that one's writing ebbs and flows with a thread. you are under no obligation to match my length should i write too lengthily nor do you have to "trim the fat".

Vl. reblog karma also isn't something i mind. i understand wanting to use an inbox meme or starter but not having any idea what to send yourself. all i ask of you is to reblog from the source when applicable or at the very least not ME.

Vll. i do my absolute best to not engage in drama. i block when i need to block, nor do i soft-block. unless someone has done something truly illegal, i will abstain from any call-outs. similarly, please do not come into my inbox unless i am interacting with someone Notably Corrupt. i am not aware of every name and url under the sun. you can block and blacklist tags if you simply do not like someone, as can I.

Vlll. on that note, i do not soft-block, as i said. if i am ever unfollowed or vice-versa, simply assume it is of human or technological error. please contact me and allow sufficient time for me to reply/see your message if this occurs. unless you are blocked, it was some form of accident.

lX. Besides those, the standard roleplay etiquette applies (godmodding, trim your posts, etc.) here on. I do no have any triggers that should come up, but kindly let me know if i missed one of yours. it was surely a mishap.

#PINNED.

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mad-hunts · 1 year ago

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🚢

shipping meme!

do i ship our characters together?: yes | no | not yet but maybe soon

would i like to ship with you?: yes | maybe, i'm willing to try | no

would i rather plot first or jump right in and see where it goes?: develop their relationship first | jump right in | something in between: i think that it would be interesting to do a blend between these two, where we could maybe lay some groundwork down regarding their dynamic / a possible ship between them that would detail what each of us might like to see out of it and/or how we could envision them either becoming an item (sorry, i just love that term for two people who're each other's significant other LOL), or becoming one once again if you'd like to go with the exes route or the second chance one. but then we would kind of wing it from there... however, with having a general idea as to where we want to go with their dynamic, if that makes any sense. though IDK,, perhaps it's because i've been seeing so many edits for ships who were exes but rekindled their relationship with each other that i feel like that'd have potential to be a kind of fun dynamic for wanda and barton, but also sad at the same time (,:

what now?: let's plot something | send me shippy memes | i'll send you shippy memes | write me a random starter | i'll write you a random starter

anything else i want you to know about me / my character / my shipping habits: ( AHHH, hiii, itzel! thank you so much for sending this in and possibly being interested in shipping with barton :D it honestly made me so happy to see this pop up in my inbox, because i absolutely ADORE your account and your portrayal of wanda!! but yeah. with all of that said, i just wanted to let you know that two of barton's most negative traits are ones that i have pictured possibly interfering with his romantic relationships before, and this is that he can be closed-minded in a way / stubborn.

and i say in a way for closed-minded because he is kinddd of selective (okay, he can be REALLY selective, ngl haha) whenever it comes to accepting other people's opinions of things. so i could imagine that it could take him a bit to actually believe that a hero and a villain could be together since... well, they would more likely than not have a conflict of ideology going on there + i could NOT imagine that wanda would agree with a lot of things that barton does if she learned just how terrible of a person he really is (,: and that's honestly completely understandable so i'm not trying to like say she'd be bad for not agreeing with it.

i just think that they would probably have to come to a solution where barton either doesn't bring his 'work' up around her, and/or maybe depending on how attached he is to her, he could make an effort to cut all of the bad things he does down. but yeah,,, i think it could be interesting, like i said before, if you'd be interested in doing something with an ex like dynamic with them as we could make up like a whole history for them and stuff! but you don't have to, of course. so TOTALLY feel free to hmu in IM's here and ask for my disc if you want, or just talk to me there or in the comments here as to what kind of things you'd maybe want to explore between them yourself.

i like to think that i'm pretty open whenever it comes to potential dynamics, so if there is one here that i didn't check as a 'definitely' (in bold) or a maybe (in italics), then feel free to tell me and we could talk about it! but i am honestly very excited to roleplay with you more and i just want to let you know that although barton can ABSOLUTELY be an arsehole and hard to deal with: whenever it comes to romance, it tends to bring out the best version of him, though i have to say that things probably would be a little rocky at least on his end in the beginning because of the reasons i stated above. )

#hexsreality #AHH i also wanted to say to please not be afraid of sending me shippy meme's if you want to even though i only out it as a 'maybe' on here!#i mostly just did that because i don't want to make you feel like you have to but it'd definitely be welcomed and i'd love to get the-#chance to develop their relationship further / see what kind of ship they could possibly blossom into after talking to each other if you'd #want to hmu in IM's or anything! but yeah. thanks again for sending this to me MUAHHH <33 #shipping meme!

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faithsreward-archive · 8 years ago

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@saligiare liked for a starter

“Please tell me that you’re not here because one of my siblings did something stupid. I just finished cleaning up their last mess and was really hoping to get a little bit of a break.”

#you liked like a week ago but I've legit been unable to think of anything #hope this is okay #if not feel free to come into the inbox and we can perhaps plot #saligiare #Interaction: Anabiel

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the-trans-folk-witch · 2 years ago

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An untimely intro: Numb and hollow

Howdy folks!👋

This “blog” or cringey tumblr page is a battle cry at best- maybe a cry for help at worst. A plague of words ensues…

Grammar, punctuation and clever wording misses me despite being educated on writing formal statements/grants at a postgraduate level 🤡. Enjoy the occasional plot twist, gobsmack, misplaced comma, and tone-deaf emoji use. This “blog” is a mix of occult texts, free books, zines, and works made by me and others. It is a crossroads of formalities and comedic slander. And the occasional look into my thoughts.

I’m sure anyone reading this already knows me from Instagram and my now late podcast of the same name as this blog. So I won��t waste your time reintroducing myself and my goals. You know my brand, and roughly, my views despite how they may have changed since we last spoke. My goal here is to write more and slowly ease into the release of my first book and my second zine. I want to relive my edgy tumblr days with a more anarchistic approach than before. I invite you to join me. maybe this will help me learn how to avoid run-on sentences… or what fonts the public will judge me for using. (Comic sans girlies rise up). Perhaps I’ll learn to use parentheses and dashes correctly for once. Time will tell.

Now that I’ve fed you an over-cooked appetizer, let’s move on to the meat of the discussion. This is an update on my writings of the Guardian Angel and the other texts I have been forming. It has been a year in the making and hopefully I will be done with it this summer. It will not be long. It is a free book styled to appear as a cheesy church pamphlet. It is UPG laced with the some dogma from the Catholic church and the occasional hint of Protestant revivalist churches from the hills. I plan to reinvigorate the use or relation to the Holy Guardian Angel (HGA) in a roundabout way that incapsulates my own practice while leaving room for yours. I want it to be used as a guide, But not as a Bible. Hopefully it will come across as well as I intend for it to. It has been harder than I imagined.

Now for the long term plans for this blog. As of now, my podcast is on hold. So consider this it’s child despite the difference between my written voice and my informal speaking voice. The podcast is canned. Possibly forever. I may come back to it. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe years from now. I’m sure you all caught onto that. I have removed most every episode. The only ones available are ones that I had friends guest star in. Thank you to all of you who helped me become who I am today in this community. Even though as of now my following is only 500-600 people, it’s bigger than I’ve ever been anywhere before. I’m rather private. In fact that’s why I’ve removed most of my podcast. As many have been told, I have been receiving a lot of hateful messages from terfs and neo-pagans. Topics such as transphobia and anti-folk-catholic shit has taken over my inbox on many platforms. However, this is not the only reason I’m stepping back from my podcast. I recently graduated from school and I am working on my career. I have decided to make myself less accessible to the public for my mental health but also to focus on privatizing my practice. I want to revolutionize my followers and to have proper discussions surrounding witchcraft that make people uncomfortable. I want an interaction that my podcast could not allow. I want to write in lengths and words that Instagram does not allow. I feel as though I’ve lost my voice since my early college days when I wrote daily. I hope to strengthen my bonds with those I’ve met online while closing myself off to those who I do not trust. Making a public blog is not the way to go about that I’m aware. But who uses tumblr? 😂. This is a starting place. I may one day put a price tag on my writing. Definitely for my other books and zines I have been working on this past year. But until then, enjoy my ramblings.

Dialogue is always welcome. Oh, and don’t make a fumblr account just for me. My blog is accessible on a browser without a log in. I’m not chasing likes. I’m just typing into the void.

The trans folk witch, out ✌️ 💋. My Links

#traditional witchcraft #folk witchcraft #folk catholicism #transgender witches #ozark magic #big tiddy gf #esoteric bimbo

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discordhelp · 3 years ago

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hi mods of discord help! i have a question: after christmas, my roleplay group has like .. died. and no matter how often i try to gather engagement through posts in the group chat or plot calls, no one responds and it's starting to make me really sad tbh. do you have any ideas on how to like spike up activity?

hey there, anon! we're sorry to hear that your rp has reached a plateau leading into the new year. believe us when we say we have been in your shoes before, and though we wish there was a definite answer regarding how to revive something that's dropped in activity, neither of us have had perfect success when it comes to trying to do exactly that.

this got a little long, so i'm putting this under a read more, but if lurkers are reading this and want to provide their two cents, please drop a reply or hop into our inbox! we'd love to hear more opinions on this.

some advice i can give you is to perhaps be a little stricter with your activity rules for a week or so, whether that means implementing activity checks instead of interest checks or you can add requirements for your members to reach in order to be eligible for interest checks. this can include posting / reacting to starter calls every other week, interacting with three different muns every week, replying to closed starters that were written for you within a week, etc. and if these aren't met, you can issue these members a warning, in which if they haven't met the activity requirements in the next 24 hours, you have the right to remove them from your server.

within this time, i suggest throwing together a mandatory task for everyone to do! this can be as simple as a muse playlist, headcanons, or making a pinterest board. people love exploring their muses, so i think this can offer some inspiration that might've been lost over holiday break!

we also love plot drops / events in this house! so perhaps creating a mini plot drop for everyone's muses to react to can boost interest! it'll give everyone a collective thing to write about and encourage plotting / starter calls.

again, these aren't going to be end all, be all solutions, since every rp is different. just know that this is a team effort and if you've done all you can do to try and recharge your server with nothing given in return, it is not your fault. an admin can only do so much and if members aren't there to put in the effort you're giving them, you're valid for feeling disheartened. but! if anything, especially if you love the concept of your rp and you don't want to give up on it, there is no harm in closing the group temporarily to then revamping it with maybe one or two fresh ideas added to the plot or application or skeletons / muses to garner new interest!

we're wishing you all the luck, anon, and sending you all the good vibes! if you'd like a shoutout for your rp, feel free to pop in our inbox again and we'd love to give one for you!

#rpt #rph #rpc #discord rp #asks: all.#asks: faq.

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k-s-morgan · 4 years ago

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Hi! This isn’t an ask, but more of a rambling that I deemed too long for the comments, that stems from your post claiming Book of Circus as your favourite Black Butler episodes. and to that I say - YES. Book of Murder is a masterpiece. It houses one of my favourite scenes - the one where Sebastian says: "This wasn't a scenario decided by God or fate, but one decided on by my master, with timing decided by my master. I was killed by the criminal expected by my master, by the Hione who came to torment my master", which really captures the essence of whole 'Ciel vs God' dynamic that's woven into the duration of the show.

Throughout the plot, there are three major instances in which an offering is made to Ciel - offerings of redemption. The first is from Angela - a chance to purify himself and have an afterlife - which he so vehemently rejects in the knowledge that he quite literally *is* his darkness, and therefore refuses to rid himself of it.

The second is comes from Abberline in his death, where in his final words he tells Ciel he has a chance to take back his future. And Ciel has to watch him die with the knowledge that he has already made up his mind about his fate. I don't think he's so affected because he regrets selling his soul. I don't think he suddenly wants to live, or no longer wishes for revenge. But I believe the reason he is so affected by Abberline's death is because he holds a sentimentality for him that is not dissimilar to the one he feels for Elizabeth. Ciel is cruel, I don't think he regrets the steps he has taken to get to this point, nor the ones he knows he must take in the future. But though he is cruel, I believe he has a sort of fond curiosity for the untainted goodness that characterises those like Abberline and Elizabeth. Like you said before, he feels condescension towards the man perhaps due to the naivety his blind heroism implies, but I think his attachments to him come from an underlying curiosity to see if such goodness can exist in such a corrupted world - a silent hope to be proven wrong in his cynicism. When Abberline dies, that very hope he didn't even know he had gets shattered. It brings about a sort of forced perspective that makes Ciel question himself in ways we haven't seen before.

Abberline's death had been avoidable and it was certainly in vain. Abberline had died for someone who had already made up his mind - someone who had rejected God once before and would do it time and time again as proven in the anime. Ciel is such an interesting character because, although he is dark, he still values the light and makes some sort of effort to preserve it in spite of the contempt he feels for them. It is the thought of dying in vain that seems to bother him so greatly, not death itself. No, Abberline dying isn't enough for him to want to live again, or to even think about throwing away his revenge - that was never in question. But it is enough to extinguish the lingering flicker of hope he had for humanity (despite being so distanced from term himself).

This, combined with the disappointment he feels at Sebastian's actions, causes the existential haze of uncertainty that leads to the third and final offering. And the most surprising thing is that this offering comes from Sebastian himself. He senses the doubt in Ciel and, like every thought the boy experiences, fails to understand it. He mistakes it for him second-guessing his revenge and decides to discontinue their contract. But he isn't angry - that much is clear. Instead, he wishes him to "forget everything and have pleasant dreams", with a rather wistful expression on his face. What this line ends up reading as is a bittersweet goodbye from the demon - an offering for Ciel to let go of his revenge and find happiness in the afterlife with his now soon approaching death. There is almost a strong disappointment in him, but is not resentful of it - Ciel is human and he can't keep expecting him not to be. His offering almost acts as a thank you for the moments of excitement their contract had given his monotone life and I believe that is why he makes it.

He sticks around to see if Ciel accepts his offer, though already expecting him to, and is there to witness the very moment the boy rejects it. Gone is the uncertainty of Abberline's death and the Paris crisis, and Ciel, the Earl of Phantomhive, returns to him - sharper, colder, more ruthless than ever. Sebastian realises his misjudgement and returns to his side, ready for the final battle. Killing an angel. It's laughably symbolic.

The rejections of God, the evasion of the Hope Diamond's curse (where he even wore two rings as if to taunt the fates), the references in Book of Murder - they all depict this metaphorical sort of battle between Ciel and God. And the ending of Kuroshitsuji II is the depicts how he triumphs over fate, claiming his rightful place as an immortalised creature of Hell.

I know I've gone on a bit of a tangent here in your inbox, but that one quote from Book of Murder is so symbolic to me in the way it sets up the comparison between Ciel and God (in which 'God' represents power over fate).

Before I sign off, though, I just want to make light of the existence of the show's final offering, occurring in the last few minutes of the series. This last offering has nothing too do with God, nothing to do with any complex battle between the Phantomhive and fate, but is much simpler than that. In fact, the final offering of the show comes from Ciel, and he gives it to Sebastian - it's almost poetic, is it not?

"Are you sure you don't want to pull it any tighter?"

In this single, unassuming line, Ciel is asking Sebastian if he wants to kill him, and release himself from the eternal contract they've found themselves in. Such a noble and dignified soul as Ciel would always be sure to make through on his word and, despite the loophole that now extends their contract, he would still be willing to let Sebastian kill him should he wish to do so. The man may no longer be able to take his soul, but the boy can still give the order to kill him and free himself. Ciel's respect for Sebastian is complex and contradictory at times, but what never changes is his willingness to die by his hands and see through to his side of the contract.

“Is it over? The one who plunged me into bottomless darkness… I don’t even know why she did it.”

In the episode where Angela is crushed by the Church, Ciel offers his soul to Sebastian. Even when unsatisfied with the result, his unwavering nobility led him to make good on their deal and fulfil his end of the contract. The earl faced the demon, his expression calm, and with a steady voice said “A promise is a promise. Take it.”

This unwavering dignity and nobility he holds in himself I believe is the reason for this offering and Sebastian's turn to reject it is almost a 'love confession' (as you have brought me to see it) in itself.

As a final sort of note - I just wanted to let you know that, since reading your reply to my comment on TGSTLTH (from a while ago), I brought myself to rewatch Kuroshitsuji II with your interpretation in mind and ended up really enjoying it. You've singlehandedly made me do a complete 180 on a season I previously hated - looks like I had just watched it from the wrong perspective. So, for that, I thank you

Hey! Sorry for getting to your ask just now. I absolutely loved it :D And yes, Book of Murder is a masterpiece - I still remember watching it for the first time. It was late at night, I had to go to bed, everyone was sleeping, but I kept watching because stopping just wasn't an option, I had to know what happened next.

Ciel vs God is such an interesting topic. In some ways, Ciel and Sebastian exist in their own universe where there is no place for anyone else. There is a God aka Ciel and a demon aka Sebastian. And they are both allies and adversaries at the same time - they are tormenting each other and uniting to torment others.

I agree absolutely that Ciel holds a fondness for certain people, with Lizzy and Abberline being a good example. He has a degree of contempt and irritation for them, but they do mean something to him. Ciel's curiosity is a big and detached thing, and this places him on Sebastian's level in such an interesting way because sometimes it's almost like Ciel isn't human himself - humanity intrigues him as if he doesn't belong to it. His fascination with the light just underlines his affinity with the darkness.

I have many thoughts about Ciel's behavior during the days following Abberline's death, and you certainly introduced many excellent points! My general opinion on Ciel's motives is... complicated. I agree that he never felt like really giving up his revenge and trying to live a 'happy' life - he knew it's not for him at that stage already. However, I feel like Abberline's parting words affected him a lot, even if briefly. When Abberline tells him that he can start everything from the beginning, Ciel sounds absolutely heartbroken when he confesses, "I don't have a future." The way he acts later, telling Sebastian to stop and not kill the angel, hesitating, reinforces this idea to me. I think you described it best - Ciel is having an existential crisis. It's not like he suddenly regrets his decisions, but he's temporary unanchored and unsure what he wants and what he should do. Having a dream where Abberline urges him to give up his hatred also seems to affect Ciel, but it's so telling that he wakes up and immediately says, "Sebastian." It's a fascinating arc and I can't wait to explore it.

I love your words about three offerings - so true. And I'm so happy you liked S2 when watching it from a new perspective! I used to be so confused as to why people hated it: it's not perfect, but I thought it was amazing in many ways, especially its bittersweet ending.

#black butler #sebaciel #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #my fics

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dianthus-sy · 3 years ago

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Day 26th. August 1st, 2022, Monday

hey guys! I hope you're all doing great. It's been a long while, I admit, and I'm really sorry for not keeping up.

I had been completely packed for the last three months, being on one extremity, compared to my schedule (I would hardly call it that) now, where I'm completely free and have nothing to do but stare at the ceiling for long hours.

I had also started 'working', perhaps it isn't the right time. never mind that.

I have been reading A LOT quite lately, since I have absolutely NOTHING else to do. A couple of days back, I finished reading a book titled 'VERITY' by Colleen Hoover (you might know her from 'it ends with us'). Her genre is technically romance, but here, she had beautifully portrayed out the eerie-ness (not a word though, but an essence) and obsession in any relationship. The plot twist is something you might not see coming.

Also, I worked in a hospital as an intern for a week; it was quite fun. it's a different environment out there, that I might not resonate with as of now, but eventually I will. You always have to stay on alert in the ER, of course, it's different for different fields. well, there's a lot of time till I reach there. But the previous week was quite thrilling; I've made 'contacts', as you might say. but i was finally relieved to talk to people of the same field though for a duration so short. You share the same brain cells, work in an environment which is homely, talk about things that only certain people in your circle understand. I've even learnt a couple of medical procedures, not that I can practice them right away, but just out of curiosity.

But now, It feels like a still world, another extremity for a person like me. Yet, I'm still adapting, still getting used to the routine. I have people around, but I still don't really have them (if you know what I mean). It feels kind of lonely, but I work more efficiently when I'm alone. So I'm just trying to devote some time to the hobbies I once had, and make them dear again.

Yesterday I was sitting on a bench in the park, alone, and wondering about various things children are oblivious to. we, as adults, have a ton of problems and responsibilities to carry but children are free and honestly happy. When was the last time you let go of all the problems and acted like a child just to find true happiness (except at the time you were drunk and couldn't think straight)? (inbox me)

Until we meet next time through words, which will be soon ;) ( I plan to write weekly, let's see where it goes. btw, there'll be a follow up post tomorrow, on a solid topic)

Till then, stay safe, stay young, stay happy and stay innocent for as long as you can.

With ♡

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kiloxy · 5 years ago

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Prediction (The Restart Theory):

So the server is going to restart and the plot has been moving quicker...

Tommy and Tubbo are both on their last life, and these two are vital for the plot. I think they’re going to die. I think even one may kill the other, or perhaps they reconcile and then one of them dies. They have the strongest friendship on the smp, they have been through so much together, their friendship has survived conflict after conflict. But we finally see them apart with Tommy’s exile. This is an era of broken bonds and new ones. With them being apart and the compasses they’re not fully apart, I think the bond between them severing is being teased. So I feel like one may die. The compasses they have won’t be able to point towards one another anymore.

But surely they can’t get rid of such vital characters right? The story would completely change... Here’s where my restart theory comes in:

Everyone is turning against Dream. Sapnap, George, Bad (he was very upset about the prison being built near his home), Tommy, and just the others who have never really been on his side. I think that Dream is going to lose this battle guys. With the red vines growing everywhere similar to the distrust that is growing between everyone and Dream.

Dream will lose... He has many against him... I think the only way he will be able to gain power again is through mass destruction. I think a shit ton of people will die. In order to remedy this he will restart the server, in order to get a fresh start. Wiping EVERYONES memories so he can manipulate them better this time, effectively resetting everyones lives.

They made Wilbur forget, I don’t think they’ll have a problem making everyone forget.

This will:

1. Make Dream a way more interesting and prominent villain.

2. Allow for more story growth when there was no more room left on the current world.

3. He CAN kill a shit ton of people, create a huge mass destruction, with full consequences (people perma dying) without sacrificing important characters fully. Think the explosion of Manberg but more consequences, more impact.

4. The world damage would be irreversible and warrant a server restart.

5. We know Wilbur specifically made it very very hard to resurrect characters (he stated on Tommy’s last stream) in order to preserve the impact of death. I feel like a server restart and total memory wipe would maintain the consequence of death without totally removing the characters we love. The characters would be dead, their old lives over. They wouldn’t be the same people, have the same relationships.

6. Lastly this would be incredibly interesting. Having Dream and the viewers being the only one who remembers. It opens up so many possibilities. So many bits, angst, humor, everything. It opens up so many doors for the story.

Feel free to ask me questions or build off this theory (or just tell me I am wrong) my inbox is open and I love to chat!

#prediction #dream smp #restart theory #I am not 100% on this obviously but it would be super cool #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #wilbur soot #tommyinnit

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berrykook · 5 years ago

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over love (y!jk)

part 2 to overtime

in which you are becoming sick from having some trouble adjusting to life with jungkook and you are both frustrated

contents: yandere!jungkook, kidnapping, vomit, stockholm syndrome, jinkook r kinda mean sorry :(

word count: 5.6k

a/n: hey thanks to everyone who followed and/or liked, reblogged, or somehow commented on overtime! i appreciate the kind words

i’m terrible with writing requests, but feel free to leave some yandere requests in my inbox and i might just write some drabbles

to keep things consistent on here i wrote this stoned and i ended up referring to jin in like 3000 different ways ok dr. kim is kim seokjin and sheriff kim is kim taehyung and who knows perhaps i will expand on this little universe who knows i sure don’t

the writing goes a bit back and forth bc i wanted to show reader’s struggle with how she feels towards jk

not much is going on here plot-wise bc it’s not a chaptered fic but either way lmk wat ppl think! ;p

*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ

You weren’t sure how he managed to do it but on some day during the second month, Jungkook had begun testing your patience before you had even completely woken up. You hadn’t even opened your eyes when a blistering tug of frustration began twisting in your chest. Immediately, your eyes shut tighter and you burrowed yourself into the fluffy, sweet-smelling sheets. Although lately, just the slightest hint of Jungkook’s scent made you nauseous.

Seeing you cuddling into his pillow set off an explosion in Jungkook’s chest as he cooed and hugged you closer from on top of the covers.

“Baby, no! It’s time to get up!” He giggled as he ran his hands all along your back, ass, thighs, calves and finally, your feet. “Come on, darling, it’s morning.” A wet kiss on your ankle had you clawing your way out from under the blankets. Jungkook’s alarm clock displayed a later time than it usually did, yet you still managed less than thirty minutes of sleep. It was better than some nights.

Jungkook jumped at the opportunity to sloppily kiss your face. “Good morning, sweetheart!” Another kiss to the top of your cheekbone. “Did my baby get some sleep?” He ran his fingers through your hair, trying his best to mind the tangles.

You looked over to him and sadly gave a slight shake of your head. He cooed sympathetically, kissing all along your hairline. One of his hands dropped down to rest dangerously close to your ass.

“Oh, sweetie. At least after today, I’ll have some more time to help you fix your sleeping schedule! Maybe the new house will help you adjust better.” His kisses stay above your jawline, but slow significantly. He hums, and you have yet to speak a word.

He grabs your hand and intertwines it with his. “Let’s get you some food. Maybe it’ll help you feel sleepy?” He guides you up and leads you to the adjacent bathroom. “I’ll be in the kitchen, princess. You better be eating in less than ten minutes!” You felt your eyes shutting at the sound of his receding voice. Peace was nearest when Jungkook was far.

You must have fallen asleep for a moment because it seemed that seconds later, Jungkook was rapping his knuckles on the bathroom door.

“Honey? Are you okay?” His voice is soft, almost hesitant. It always makes you wonder how he manages to hide away his deep disturbance and perversion. “Sweetheart…”

You have been sitting cross-legged on the bathroom floor since you left the bed. Your toothbrush has remained stagnant on your tongue. You make a pitiful sounding moan and Jungkook gasps as he opens the door.

“Are you sick? Oh no, baby...aw, come here…” he takes a knee and holds you close to his chest. Your head is spinning from the lack of sleep still, so you cuddle into him just slightly. You can feel the stiffness of the shirt you ironed against his torso and jealousy burns in your stomach. The ladies at the office must be running around like chickens with their heads cut off as the police’s search for you still has “zero leads” over two months in. You yearned to just sit at your desk once more and complete some busy work. Anything would be better than rotting in Jungkook’s apartment. “What’s wrong?”

You moan softly and Jungkook’s hands around you jerk a bit. “Head hurts. Didn’t sleep.” You are unsure how Jungkook could possibly understand your mumbling from his chest. “So tired...” you whisper, leaning more of your weight on him. He sighs.

This had become a common morning routine in the Jeon residence. Jungkook was constantly worried sick about you, checking the security cameras from work like a madman as you had yet to sleep at any reasonable hour in the time you had been moved into his place. Jungkook tried cuddling you to sleep, changing his mattress, working from home, cooking new food, and everything under the sun in an attempt to help you sleep and adjust to life with him. So far, nothing had been successful - sleeping pills had just barely helped, but you didn’t like the way they made you feel in the morning and Jungkook wanted to scream at the thought of you not waking up in time to kiss him goodbye for the day.

“Sweetheart, I should really go to work today...you know I have to…” Jungkooks moves you onto his lap, bouncing you for a moment as if you were a babe on his hip. “I’m so sorry...I’m trying to make it all better.” You rise from his chest dizzily, smiling weakly at him. His heart began to race and you giggled, mocking him internally for this delusion that his presence would help your sleeping problem. He giggled back and pinched your nose. “Let’s go to the kitchen, yeah?” He plucked the toothbrush from your mouth and held onto the small of your back as you finished washing up. Wrapping your legs around his waist, he carried you over to the kitchen. You had to push aside the nausea to smile and force down the breakfast Jungkook spent an extra hour in the morning making for you.

The house was silent save for Jungkook’s soft humming and shuffling about. He cooked, cleaned, worked, and had no complaints. Jungkook was fulfilled just by the thought of coming home to you greeting him at the door each night (of course, it was his threat of keeping you chained up like a bitch if you didn’t greet him that motivated you to wait on him so). Typically, you spent all day sitting around, letting the hours melt away until Jungkook came back from work and that hanging feeling in your chest began to throb until he left you alone again. However, your steadfast decline in energy had him frequently coming back home during his lunch hours and bothering you with his presence more often. You were sure that he came back some days just to watch you sleep in the middle of the day. He would be gone when you awakened, but you just knew he had been there, watching.

“I think we should celebrate tonight, don’t you think?” He was back at his favorite position (behind you) slowly rubbing his hands over your tummy. He kissed your cheek wetly and you coughed to hide the shiver running down your spine.

“Celebrate what?” You turned your head slightly to look at him - how he adored recieving just a modicum of your attention!

He wiped the corner of your lips and sucked on his finger (you were sure he had no reason to do so as you were not a messy eater). “Celebrate our last day in this home, silly,” he murmured sweetly, stealing a piece of your french toast for himself. He moaned comically, praising his own mediocre cooking. You spent a significant amount of your remaining energy into smiling warmly at him and turning around to hug him properly. Jungkook gasped lightly as he was under the impression that you were still “too nervous” to be affectionate with him. You let out a slow breath, holding back the contents of your stomach with a whimper. Jungkook kissed the crown of your head, blissfully unaware of how he made you sick.

“Don’t we usually celebrate when we finish moving into the new house?” You cross your fingers behind his back in hopes to extend whatever “celebration” Jungkook had been plotting.

Jungkook never pressured you sexually, but there was a lingering fear within you that he would snap and demand something from you. You knew from the moans he let out whenever you touched that he expected something, at least someday. You, however, had no intentions of that nature whatsoever...even as you begged your mind not to fall victim to his love, you couldn’t fathom the thought of laying together with him. Jungkook laughs.

“Well, we can celebrate both! Why don’t you get some sleep and when I come home, we’ll throw together a nice dinner and I’ll bring home something to drink, huh? Come on, baby, it’s our last night here...this place is special,” he says wistfully, taking in the white walls and clean carpet. “This is our first home together.” He smiles down at you, brushing your hair behind your ears. He ignores the sweat that pools at your temples.

“Ah,” you say in understanding before pushing him off of you and running to the bathroom. There it was - the first anxiety-induced vomiting session of the day. You heard Jungkook stomping after you from your seat on the bathroom tiles. Of all the places in the apartment where Jungkook harassed you, this place felt the most like home - the most familiar.

“Oh no, baby! Ah, it’s okay, it’s okay...you’ll feel better soon.” He worked on tying your hair back and holding you from behind, one hand rubbing your stomach and the other hand between your shoulder blades. You tried your best to ignore him, hoping that this was one step closer to your body giving up and dying so you would finally be away from him.

You didn’t have much to expel so it was too soon that Jungkook was helping you wash your mouth out and get back into bed.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie...I’ll tell Hoseok that my last day can wait. You’re more important,” he giggled, touching his nose to yours. “I’ll text Seokjin-hyung to come over and see what’s going on.” Jungkook laid in bed with you, hovering over you as you placed yourself in the fetal position. Your heart picked up a beat.

“No, Jungkook,” you mumbled angrily. You cursed yourself for letting your irritation be known. Jungkook’s hand stopped brushing through your hair. Did he really have to be touching you all the time?

“What do you mean ‘no?’” His tone dropped a few degrees and you held back a groan as you gripped his hand from your head and held it to your chest in an attempt to placate him. He huffed angrily like a child.

“No, as in you should say goodbye to your coworkers. They love you.” You looked up at him with sad eyes and he laughed gleefully, cooing and fawning over you as he always did.

“Oh, baby! You’re so considerate, aw…there’s no way I’m leaving you when you’re sick like this! Hobi can just tell the ladies at the office that my last day is actually tomorrow and I was spending today sorting out my apartment, or whatever he figures out. Easy! I don’t mind staying here one or two more nights if it means comfortable travels for my healthy sweetheart.”

You buried your face into your pillow, groaning as you realized that the person who made you sick would be hovering over you for several more days as the move out of his apartment would begin soon and he would be out of work. You were empty, but nausea still plagued your body as your fear of Jungkook made its rounds.

Jungkook sighed deeply, lightly massaging the back of your neck. “I know, baby, you must feel so sick…I’m sorry...let me get Jin-hyung in here right away!” He bounded off to get his phone from his work bag at the front door. His booming footsteps echoed in your head.

The drive to fight and escape, admittedly, never burned through you. It had been two months since that night in the parking garage and Jungkook was even moving the two of you into a new house (a hillside house in Busan at that), yet you barely made any attempts at escaping at all. Jungkook loved you deeply and made that clear in every sentence, every gesture, every movement - but there was a part of him who despised you, too. The part of him that came out whenever you expressed annoyance or disdain towards him - even just disagreeing with him could reveal this nasty side to him in which he would yell, cry, or threaten you until you were crying and being comforted in his arms. An inkling of an idea for remaining in Seoul burned in the back of your mind, but it made you writhe with anxiety at the thought of his reaction. His loud footsteps grew in volume again as he tried his best to softly land in bed to avoid further agitating your stomach.

He chose to lie beside you, gently picking you up so you could rest on top of him. The sound of his heartbeat was deafening against your dizzy head.

“Jin-hyung is on his way and Hobi is handling everything at the office,” he mumbled, stroking your back like he always does. He let out soft little hums and pressed gentle kisses to the corner of your mouth. You took a deep calming breath when your heart rate began picking up on its own. Try as you might, Jungkook did at times have an effect on you. You supposed it was some sort of savior complex, partially from that night in the parking garage and partially from how gently he treated you since coming into his home. Before Jungkook, you never viewed yourself as delicate (and for good reason!). However, Jungkook’s tender touches and heartfelt words held some power over you.

“You feeling okay, baby?”

You were on the verge of tears for no apparent reason. Despite Jungkook having made you sick from the moment you woke up, you felt oddly safe in his arms. You felt loved, and the feeling made you even sicker. You buried your face into his chest and hoped he wouldn’t notice your flushed face and teary eyes.

“Aw…” His voice was so soft that you could barely hear it even from his chest. “It’ll be okay, Jin-hyung will help...what else can I do for you, baby? Tell me.” He cradled the back of your head with a large hand. Jungkook’s size was so apparent when you were this close. “Hm?”

His hum in your ear snapped something within you and you let out a sad whimper. Jungkook gasped softly, cooing and patting your back. “Are you gonna be sick again, baby? Aw, it’s okay…” One of his hands made its way to the back of your neck and the floodgates crashed open. You were disgusting. You couldn’t even remember the last time you cried before you met Jungkook and here you were now, crying because...he made you feel good? You suspected that your body was steadily giving up on you and your mind wasn’t very far behind. You’re unsure when you did it, but you had an iron grip on Jungkook’s hand. His thumb rubbed over your hand as he patiently waited for you to gather yourself and speak to him. The small smile on his face made your heart twist and writhe. You supposed Jungkook was just the slightest bit handsome.

You looked like a sick puppy looking up at him from his chest. Jungkook was eager to kiss your pouting lips once you had gathered yourself. He hadn’t filled you in yet, but the sound of your weeping lit a fire under him and aroused him deeply. He chuckled a bit, reaching to wipe a tear from your chin.

“Dunno,” you murmur pitifully after several minutes. You fall so your cheek is flat against his chest and you can no longer look into his eyes. He laughs while softly uttering to himself about how cute you were. It makes you embarrassed and ill at the same time. “I’m sorry. I’m all over the place.”

“I know, I know. The new house is going to be so wonderful for you. #e’re going to be so happy there...did I mention my parents will be nearby? Just a short drive away, baby. They’ll be so excited to be close to their grandchildren...just think about it...we’re so close to that life.” The heartbeat that sent chills up your spine ten minutes ago began to warm your own heart with just a moment’s notice. His whispering calmed you to approach slumber, despite it scaring you into a near insomniac for the past two months. You wondered how you were going to word to Dr. Kim that you were losing your mind.

“Doesn’t that sound nice? Shh, shh, i know you must be feeling so bad right now, but just focus on me...I love you so much, baby. I can’t believe you’re home and safe here with me...I can’t explain how happy you make me. I wonder sometimes if I could ever make you understand. I never want you to ever second-guess yourself or my love for you...I will always be here, baby. I love you so much.”

Jungkook caught any tears from your eyes with lightning speed. You cuddled into him lower towards his ribs and he laughed. “Am I making my baby bashful? Aww, sweetie...I’m just trying to make you feel better...it must be working, right?”

You let out a small noise of disdain. Jungkook fawned over you and continued making you blush until he left with a dozen kisses to get Seokjin at the door.

Jungkook called Dr. Kim in to check up on you at least once a week since you entered the apartment (and still had yet to exit). You liked Dr. Kim to some twisted degree. Of Jungkook’s brothers, he was the one you disliked the least - Hoseok, your old boss, was a dick to you since the day you met him and was also the ultimate reason why Jungkook knew who you were in the first place (Jungkook mentioned one night that he first saw you at a holiday work party and his favorite photograph of you was from that night and framed by the front door). His other brothers, Sheriff Kim and Detective Min, were key players in tossing your missing persons case in the trash. They had comforted you so kindly that night you were attacked by Jungkook’s favorite brother, Namjoon. Jungkook vaguely mentioned something about one or two more, but you tuned out the conversation about his brothers, horrified, when it was revealed to you that even law enforcement could not free you from Jungkook.

You heard Jungkook and Dr. Kim speaking in hushed voices from the hallway outside Jungkook’s bedroom. Your heart ached and stomach twisted at Jungkook’s worried tone.

“Here she is, hyung,” Jungkook whispered when they finally entered your bedroom. You swaddled yourself with the heavy sheets and raised a hand to wave shyly at Dr. Kim. If only he was not a pawn in Jungkook’s game - if only you had met him some other way. He was devastatingly handsome.

Jungkook sits on the bed, close to you and possessively. Dr. Kim smiled warmly.

“How have you been lately? I hear you’ve had some more trouble sleeping?”

You nod gingerly, smiling awkwardly as Jungkook stayed rooted to the bed. He looked at you with concern, blissfully unaware that he should not be in the room.

“I slept for 30 minutes, Dr. Kim.” You are bashful and Jungkook notices immediately.

“She threw up again this morning...I’m so worried, hyung.” Jungkook was practically laying on top of you at this point. His body desperately attempted to show Seokjin that you belonged to him and nobody could love you like he does.

“Ah, I see, I see.” You could tell that Dr. Kim also wanted Jungkook to step out. “Well...my question. How do you feel?” Dr. Kim addresses you by your first name and the sound hangs in the air, foreign to you at this point. Jungkook called you your given name at times, but mostly when you were being defiant and he was threatening you somehow.

Jungkook became more alert because of this and opened his mouth to respond before getting cut off by Seokjin raising his hand to stop him. You twiddle your thumbs.

“I don’t know,” you mumble nervously.

Before Jungkook, you prided yourself on your independence and your swift thinking and problem-solving skills. You had no desire for dating at this quintessential time period of your life and you focused most of your energy on bettering yourself and maintaining a well-rounded life.

Now, it seemed like just Jungkook’s presence regressed your mind years back. You felt deep, deep fear and hatred towards him and his psychotic nature, but you also felt yourself wrapping around his finger. He took care of you well and didn’t ask for much. He managed the apartment, money, food, everything all by himself and all he ever wanted from you was your love. He was terrifying when he was angry and you still hadn’t figured out a way to escape safely and make it more than ten paces from his apartment. You were sure that Sheriff Kim and Detective Min were watching you almost as closely as Jungkook did. You were hopeless and you knew this from the first night you set foot in Jungkook’s home. You weren’t sure how you felt at all. Life no longer felt real.

“That’s okay. Take your time,” Dr. Kim said softly after a moment. You felt yourself tearing up at his kindness and from the pressure to speak. Jungkook reached for your hands, pulling them apart to stop you from picking at your hangnails. You let out a sad sound and Dr. Kim folded his hands, waiting patiently for you to come forward and speak your truth.

“I don’t know...I don’t know. Really,” you whimpered, trying to steady your voice. You sighed in frustration, embarrassed at having cried so much this early in the morning.

Dr. Kim made a noise of understanding and asked Jungkook to step out into the hall with him. You stared at them as they walked out, jealous that you did not have the right to know about your own health. You forced yourself to sit up past the dizziness and listen to their conversation.

“She’s coming along nicely. Keep doing what you’re doing and she should come around completely soon.”

You fell back onto your pillows once you heard Dr. Kim say this to Jungkook.

“Yuri was the same way with me and Namjoon had a similar experience with Ara. Don’t worry, Kookie, she’ll be fine. Putting her in her place more often should do the trick. You know about Hobi’s favorite method, yes?”

“Are you sure? She’s sick! I can tell she’s still repulsed by me sometimes...I don’t want to push her too far. You saw how messy it was with Taehyung…” Jungkook sounded close to tears. Perhaps he was as sensitive with others as he was with you.

“It won’t be like what happened with Taehyung. She’s a tough nut to crack. You need to take it a step further. Think about it...you should never be disrespected in your own home.”

Your heart twinged at the thought of how kind Dr. Kim had been since you first met and how lowly he spoke of you now. The thin wood of the bedroom door was not nearly enough to deafen the sting of his hissing. You could practically hear the cogs turning in Jungkook’s head.

They continued to converse about things you had no context on and at times, Jungkook’s wild emotions would run free and he would passionately describe how saddened he was that you weren’t adjusting well to his home. You tried to tune out his crying. They seemed to discuss some sort of plan to “put you in your place,” but you barely cared anymore. You just wanted your mind to unravel completely already so you could succumb to Jungkook and accept your fate with him. There was no hope for escape. There never was.

“Think about it, Jungkook. I’m serious. I’ll be back next week, okay?”

You heard their voices retreat and Dr. Kim was then gone without having said goodbye to you. Whatever. His beauty could never outweigh how strongly he believed you were somehow below Jungkook. You heard Jungkook’s heavy footsteps stop in front of the bedroom door for a moment as if he were hesitating. He came in slowly.

“Baby? I spoke with Jin-hyung,” he uttered. You turned on your side, pretending to be asleep. “Oh,” he breathed, seeing your eyes closed.

Seokjin had just finished handing his ass to him about being more stern with you and breaking you down faster so he could win you over already. Of himself, Namjoon, and Hoseok, none of them had taken as long as Jungkook to win over the hearts of their partners. He sighed, exiting the room to help you sleep. You both had a lot of work to do.

You woke up several hours later to Jungkook quietly raging in the living room at his TV. Despite being deeply invested in his game, he felt your presence immediately and set his game aside, standing in place and staring you down.

“Honey,” he exhaled anxiously. “Did you sleep well?”

You nodded slightly before awkwardly shuffling off to find food. Jungkook bounded after you quickly. His eyes darted around nervously as he tried to figure out what to say.

“S-so, the move has been delayed just a day...tomorrow, I’ll go into work for my last day and we can start the move the next day.” From the way you apathetically fluttered about the kitchen deciding what to eat, Jungkook felt like he was talking to himself. “Are you feeling better, sweetheart?” He stood much too close to you, so you let out a soft noise of acknowledgement as you pressed a hand against his chest to softly guide him a step back.

His conversation with Seokjin earlier filled him with anxiety and your behavior didn’t help him in the slightest. If anything, he felt his anger begin to rise inside of him. He took a deep breath, attempting to delay his boiling point.

“I said, are you feeling better, sweetheart?” For a moment, you stopped rummaging through Jungkook’s fridge as his icy tone ran down your spine. He huffed when you continued going about making yourself a sandwich as if he wasn’t even there.

“Yeah, I feel better,” you mumbled, straining yourself to open a jar of peanut butter. Jungkook looked on angrily, choosing to let you struggle.

“Well, that’s good.” You uneasily continued making your sandwich while Jungkook followed your every move. A part of you knew that you should pay better attention to him so he’s satisfied, but the resistant part of you which so passionately despised Jungkook was not allowing you to give him more than a crumb of your focus.

Jungkook gulped down his irritation to the best of his abilities, but it continued to rear its head at you. Seokjin’s words echoed in his head - you should never be disrespected in your own home.

“Well...I’m home now. What would you like to do today?” Jungkook brought a hand up to his jaw to help soften it.

You figured he didn’t notice that he had a habit of standing as close as humanly possible to you. Sighing lightly, you pressed a hand against his ribs to push him back once again, but an iron grip intertwining your fingers stopped you.

“Don’t do that,” he said in a low tone. You gave him a confused stare, hoping that he would find it cute and have mercy on you.

“Huh? What do you mean?” You tried to sound as soft and sad as possible, praying that you didn’t set him off. He stared down at you with a steely gaze, completely unaffected. Your breath quickened a pace as you wracked your brain for a solution before he was too far gone.

“You don’t love me yet...do you?” It was not a question. Fuck, you thought.

“You know...none of my brothers had such trouble getting their wives to listen to them after they moved in together.” You begged yourself not to giggle - how absurd it was that Jungkook called this anything but a kidnapping. “Jin-hyung said that it has been too long that you’ve been acting this way.” His glare almost made you forget how sweet and gentle Jungkook could be. You wondered if this side of him would ever come out if you let yourself love him too.

“Acting like what?”

“Like you know what!” He snapped. You flinched and he gasped at the sight of you scared.

Jungkook wouldn’t dare put his own hands on you. Oddly enough, he drew the line at hittting you. For some inexplicable reason, you knew deep down that he wouldn’t do it either. Something about you knew that Jungkook did possess at least a percentage of genuine love for you.

“You disrespect me. You think I’m some sort of ugly monster...you still haven’t figured out yet that I actually saved you. You’re too fucking dense to figure out that nobody has ever loved anyone the way that I love you. Too fucking dense to know that this is real...that this type of love doesn’t happen to everyone. You should be fucking grateful. You sh-”

“But I do love you,” you said mousily. You crossed your fingers with the hand that Jungkook was not holding. Jungkook looked as if he had the wind knocked out of him.

It was not true. In this moment, you knew that your hatred for Jungkook far outweighed the gratitude you had to him for that night in the parking garage. You wanted to make him sweat.

Slowly, he raised your intertwined hands to his chest.

“Baby...you don’t mean that…”

You took a deep breath, both to calm yourself and to up your performance.

“I do, Jungkook. I do mean it.”

Jungkook felt a few steps off from bursting into flames with how hard he was blushing - and, you should have known better than to use those two words to Jungkook so early on. He gasped softly, running your intertwined hands back and forth across his heart.

“Sweetheart…” His face contorted as he struggled with his next move. He was torn between punishing you and teaching you to respect him at all times, and punishing himself for cherry-picking a reason to assert dominance over his sweet girl. He whimpered, lower lip trembling embarrassingly. “Uh, you’re so perfect.”

You took your hand from his and cupped his face instead. Jungkook was nearly hyperventilating at this point, so you figured you should cut the act soon.

“Uh, tell me again! Please, please say it again,” he begged, blubbering. You wanted to roll your eyes (you were unsure if it would be of disgust or of endearment) at his ability to bawl at the drop of a hat. “I’m so sorry, p-princess...I didn’t mean to yell at you. Uh, you’re s-...so perfect, please say it again...”

You giggled. “I love you.”

Jungkook sobbed, hiding his face from you for a moment. One of his hands gripped your shoulder as if he were afraid you would drift away.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry...I can’t believe I doubted you.” You awkwardly patted Jungkook’s shoulder, giggling some more to lift the mood of the room. He began babbling something about his “goddess” and how he “wasn’t worthy,” but you didn’t bother trying to understand.

“No, I should be apologizing...I should show you more often how much I love you, don’t you think?” You stood a little taller and got closer to his face, but quickly retreated when Jungkook nearly lost control of his breathing again. “I’m sorry, Jungkook. I just get so nervous around you sometimes...I’m going to try harder from now on to show you what I feel for you. Okay?” You grabbed his face again, pulling him to make eye contact with you so he could calm down.

His weeping turned into gleeful laughs with a snap. You let out a breath of relief, having successfully defused the bomb that is Jungkook and saving yourself from whatever it was Seokjin planned on having him do. That sour feeling, that lingering fear of Jungkook also came back stronger with a snap. You prayed he wouldn’t try to kiss you on the lips, knowing your acting skills weren’t yet ready to hide such a level of disgust.

“I don’t know what I was worried about. I should have known that you were just having trouble expressing yourself! Baby...you don’t have to hide how you feel about me. I’ve always known that we were soulmates.”

Jungkook has a dreamy look in his eyes that churns your stomach. You smile awkwardly as he leaned in closer and closer, vibrating with the excitement of receiving his first kiss from you. He even playfully tapped his chin with his finger when you had taken a moment too long.

“J-Jungkook!” You pushed his chest lightly, giggling behind your hands. “Don’t do that...I’m shy, honey…” You looked down at your feet and playfully pushed him again, running off to the bedroom to cringe in private.

For the first time since setting foot in Jungkook’s apartment, a spark of hope ignited within you. Jungkook was completely weak at your slightest gesture. You took his breath away and made him stutter and sweat without even lifting a finger. Jungkook was aware of how deeply he could get under your skin, but he had no idea you knew how deeply you were already under his.

Jungkook called out your given name. “I love you!” He yelled from across the apartment.

You smiled before turning into the bedroom, leaving the door open for him to follow behind.

#yandere jungkook #yandere!jungkook #yandere jeongguk #yandere!jeongguk #yandere bts #yandere!bts

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