#if the spaces are weird blame tumblr mobile

[the-despina-project]

BananaSoda was already learning new things about her new fellow crewmates on the way to the research ship- for instance, she hadn’t realized that LabRat was Root Verdant until he’d removed his helmet after they had taken off. CherryDipp had also removed his helmet, though he was clearly a human. BananaSoda had removed her helmet as well at that point, not wanting to seem suspicious. Of course, the helmets went back on when the dropship began to dock at the Despina. Unloading her stuff into the airlock like a very final thing to BananaSoda, like she was walking into impostor territory. But LabRat’s extensive scans had concluded BananaSoda was a legitimate crewmate, as well as CherryDipp and LabRat himself.

The airlock of the Despina was strewn about with banners reading ‘WELCOME BACK NERDS” in lime and purple letters. Two crewmates- purple and lime- stood at the entrance to the Despina, looking a bit like they’d been up to something, if only by body language under their helmets and suits.

“No Impostors here!” The lime one said, the fried egg on his helmet jiggling slightly as he bounced on his toes. He was also undeniably a rather tall crewmate, especially compared to Purple. BananaSoda wondered if he was a Töl.

“We checked.” Purple added. If there was any question as to where Lime got the egg, the nest on Purple’s helmet was likely. BananaSoda wondered how she kept the eggs inside.

“Did all those tests LabRat does.” Lime said.

“It was dreadfully boring.” Purple agreed.

“Thanks, I’ll go look through the data now!” LabRat exclaimed, rushing away.

“So who’s the pineapple?” Purple added, stalking up to BananaSoda’s left side.

“Why’s the pineapple?” Lime continued, taking a place on BananaSoda’s right side.

“Enough, you two.” CherryDipp said. “BananaSoda, meet Double and Trouble.” He gestured to the purple and lime crewmates, respectively. “Double, Trouble, BananaSoda.”

“Hello.” BananaSoda said awkwardly.

“Double’s job is to keep an eye on the reactor.” Trouble said.

“Trouble’s in charge of electrical stuff.” Double added.

“We’re hypercompetent in an emergency!” Trouble exclaimed.

“And hyper-annoying in peacetime.” CherryDipp finished, though his voice held some humor to it. “Back to work, you two.”

“On it, boss!” Double and Trouble exclaimed, vanishing into the ship proper.

CherryDipp produced his tablet. “Locker 4B is yours. Get settled in, familiarize yourself with the layout and the crew, and I’ll start tasks tomorrow.”

“Right.” Banana said. “Uh, where’s my locker?”

“Straight down this hall, there’s a hatch down in the Storage room.” Cherry said, stepping through the door. “I’m going to see what kind of damage those two did to my admin console…”

And with that, BananaSoda was alone in the airlock. “Guess I’ll go find my locker, then.”

The hallway of the top deck of the Despina was relatively empty. The first door on the right was labeled CREW QUARTERS. On the left, a door read LOUNGE. Peering inside revealed a little game room- it honestly looked kind of nice. Further down the hall, she found the storage room- full of boxes aside from a circular cover, which just read LOWER DECK ↓.

There was no one in the locker room, yet the hair on the back of her neck prickled. The feeling of being watched was just enough to set her Impostor-Watch instincts on alert. She checked the room over to look for an escape route. The locker room was L-shaped, and the hallway entrance had no door, so that was really only the clear exit. There was also a vent near the bend in the wall, and BananaSoda took a particularly hard stare at it before creeping over and stomping on it as hard as she could. The resulting thunk revealed nothing- the vent didn’t open, and there was no sound of an impostor moving away. Satisfied that maybe her bad feeling wasn’t all justified, she found her locker and began the process of bringing her boxes from the airlock to the locker room, and sorting her things in. There were ten lockers total, and hers was the eighth. The ninth and tenth ones looked empty, as well as the third and seventh. It was so odd, somehow. She at least put her helmet in the locker- she wouldn’t need it for a while, assuming all went well.

Footsteps sounded, and BananaSoda turned toward the hallway. A hulking red shape entered the room- he had to duck to avoid smacking his curled horns on the doorframe. BananaSoda was small already, but this guy dwarfed her completely. He was clearly a Töl. “Hallo.” He said, marching right up to BananaSoda. “Are you the new guy?”

“Yep.” She said. “You are…?”

“RedRogue.” He bowed slightly. “Weapons.”

“BananaSoda. Janitor.” she replied, standing on her toes. “‘Scuse me, I’ve got boxes in the airlock.”

“Oh, let me join you!” RedRogue said. “I can carry.”

BananaSoda was not about to argue with the gigantic crewmate, so the two climbed and walked in awkward silence back to the airlock. There were five boxes left, four of which RedRogue picked up with no issue other than lack of hands once they were full. BananaSoda picked up the fifth box, which was full of bottles of her favorite drink, and carried them back down to the locker room. RedRogue stacked his four boxes on his head and climbed down.

“So… which locker is yours?” BananaSoda asked as they stacked the boxes around her locker, immediately cringing. How awkward could this get?

“4A. We’re locker neighbors!” He grinned, setting the boxes down. “What’s in here anyway, rocks?”

“I like rocks.” She defended. “The Polus outpost had a bunch of cool ones.”

“‘Had’, past tense?” He asked, pulling out a few geodes.

She shrugged. “Well, yeah. Now they’re all in those boxes.”

He laughed. “You’re funny. When we’re done here, I’ll buy you a drink in the cafeteria.” He paused, then giggled as if he was in on a joke.

She set the geodes in their proper trays. “You have alcohol on this ship? I don’t drink-”

“Oh no, better.” He wagged a finger in her face. “A vending machine.”

“Ah.” She said, lapsing into a more comfortable silence with the bigger crewmate as he passed her the various crystals and geodes. Before they were done, she’d begun to tell him about them- what they were, where they were found, how they looked in that one specific floodlight outside of the comms building.

When everything was finally unpacked, RedRogue helped her to her feet, pulling her up like she weighed nothing. “Vending machine time!” He declared, practically dragging her through the halls to the cafeteria. Sure enough, in one corner, there was a vending machine with a few drinks in it. A baby crewmate stood in front of it, jumping up and trying to hit the buttons.

“Oh hallo, BittyBlu!” RedRogue said, lifting the little one up to push the buttons. BittyBlu squealed excitedly and poked two numbers. Nothing happened.

“Ah, you want your juice? Here, it’s slot B2.” RedRogue said, tapping the buttons. The tiny crewmate excitedly jumped down and grabbed his drink, before happily scurrying away. “That was BittyBlu. CherryDipp and LabRat are pretty much his dads.” He punched in a few numbers, and an almond milk fell into the tray.

“Aww, that’s cute.” BananaSoda said.

“Indeed. Which drink is your favorite?”

“That one.” She said, pointing to a bottle that looked a bit like a fizzy yellow potion.

“Excellent.” RedRogue said, typing in the numbers. The bottle dropped down, and he retrieved it, uncorking the drink before handing it over. The two sat at a table. “I’ve never tried that one before.”

“It’s uh…” She paused. “Banana flavored.”

“Ah!” He stabbed the straw into his almond milk carton, taking a sip. “So, have you met everyone on the ship? LabRat went with CherryDipp to Polus, I’m sure Double and Trouble made themselves the welcoming committee…”

“I’ve met you and BittyBlu, that makes seven of us.” BittyBlu’s locker probably wouldn’t have much of anything in it. “There’s eight lockers in use, though?”

He nodded. “Locker 3B stays empty.” He lowered his voice. “Legend says it’s haunted by a ghost from the previous crew. We’d have handed it over to you, but… no one wants to take a chance with a possibly vengeful ghost, out in the middle of nowhere.” He finished his milk, then tossed the carton in the trash chute.

“Do you believe it?” She asked, leaning forward.

He shrugged. “Well, I suppose it would be more interesting for us if the ship was haunted, wouldn’t it?” Then he stood up and stretched. “I think my break is over, BananaSoda. The asteroids are’nt going to explode themselves.”

“Alright.” BananaSoda said. “I’ll go… uh, learn the layout of the ship.”

“Feel free to drop by, then. I’ll teach you to shoot asteroids. Welcome to the Despina.” He said, and disappeared out the door.

BananaSoda tossed her bottle as well, then started out the door. Before she left, though, something occurred to her. “Wait a second, he didn’t pay for any of those drinks!”

She ran up to the machine, wondering how he’d bought the drinks without actually paying. This time, she saw the paper taped over the coin slot:

I’M NOT PAYING FOR THESE AGAIN. DRINK WHATEVER YOU WANT. -CHERRYDIPP

She chuckled. Someone must have re-wired the vending machine. With that little mystery solved, she stepped out of the cafeteria and began to explore.

[so-langdon]

Crave - Michael Langdon x Fem! Reader

Summary: Michael has a nightmare about losing Y/N and she comforts him.

Summary: Story-line change, angst, some swearing, emotional! clingy! needy! Michael, fluff

A/N: I needed some hella needy/clingy Michael so soz for this, it’s probably overkill rip. Also, I wanted the first half of this writing to be italicized to represent it’s a dream, but tumblr is being so weird and is only italicizing some parts on mobile no matter what I do??? So, sorry about that!

Also sorry for the lack of posting/writings. I started a new job and it’s been so crazy busy! 😩

Tagged!: @hecohansen31 , @sarahandthejets , @michaelsapostle , @rocketgirl2410 , @saltyshaggymeme , @1-800-bitchcraft

“What do you mean you’re leaving,” Michael asks sorrowfully, feeling a stinging in his eyes as he follows Y/N into the kitchen. His vision begins to get blurry, blinking the sudden tears away as they fall down his face and he wipes them quickly off before they can be seen. A heaviness grows in his chest, a pang forming and causing Michael’s breathing to become more shallow.

“I mean, I’m leaving. Leaving here,” Y/N says carelessly, looking down at her phone, texting back a friend who’s on their way to pick Y/N up. A couple of suitcases were rested on the floor by the door while she was waiting for her ride to show up. “Where are you going?” Michael asks, taking a deep breath to keep himself as cool, calm and collected as he can. “To Madison’s. I’m going to stay with her,” Y/N says, putting her phone away and looking up at Michael, ignoring the pained expression on his face. “Can I come with you?” Michael asks hopeful. He didn’t want to accept the fact that Y/N was leaving for any other reason except maybe Madison wanting a friend to stay with her for a bit, Y/N just going for a sleepover or something else, anything else besides the harsh truth. “No,” Y/N states simply, cold and impassive. Michael swallows, blinking as his eyes blur with tears again again. “Well. When will you be back?” Y/N stares at him. She sighs, almost annoyed and shakes her head. “I’m not.” Michael bites his lip. “Like, this week, or--” “I’m not coming back ever,” Y/N states. “I’m tired of it here,” Y/N explains. “B-- But. If you don’t like how things are set up here we can change it then,” Michael gestures. “We can fix this place up to how you want if you don’t like how things are,” he offers, trying to convince Y/N to stay here with him. “I don’t mean I’m tired of it here as in this house,” she gazes around. “I mean I’m tired of being here with you, Michael,” Y/N states coldly. Michael takes a step back, body lightly trembling. He knew that was the route things were heading considering Y/N’s behavior. But he was still trying to deny it until actually hearing her say the words. And now that she had, it felt like everything inside of him was collapsing. “What do you mean?” “I don’t want you anymore,” she shrugs. “I don’t want to be with you, I don’t love you,” Y/N says.

Michael blinks, shaking his head lightly, trying to process what she’s just said. He was trying not to believe that Y/N was leaving because of him. He wanted it so badly to be because of just visiting a friend or something more innocent, that she would be coming back at some point. Not leaving for good and because she didn’t want him.

He had been through this too many times. With either being given up on, unwanted, or used and forgotten. He thought he had finally found someone who would never make him feel alone, that he had someone to love and to be loved in return. But now, it was happening all again -- being given up on, rejected -- abandoned.

“You can’t do this,” Michael pleads. “It’s already done, Michael,” she states. “Madison should be here any minute.” “No,” Michael says. “You can’t be doing this.” “I’m sorry,” she says apologetically. He shakes his head. “It’s for the best. We both deserve what’s best and what makes us happy.” “You’re the best there is,” Michael enunciates. “You make me happy.” Y/N hesitates, “I’m sorry.” “This honestly -- This has to be a joke,” Michael shakes his head again, pushing a hand through his tussled blond curls. “This isn’t real.” “This will be a difficult transition for us, but we’ll get over it.” “Get over it?” He narrows his eyes. “What, just like that?” Michael looks at her in disbelief. Y/N stays quiet, looking at him impassively. “You make it sound like what we have together is so easy to throw away,” his voice trails off. “Because it is. There is nothing between us,” Y/N states. “Don’t say that,” Michael begs, wincing from her hurtful words. “It’s true. At least for me,” she shrugs. “No. Don’t say that,” Michael repeats, voice strained. “Look,” Y/N starts, sighing, “We had a good run together, but we–” “’A good run’? A good fucking run? That’s what you’re going to call it?” He says, the hurt in his tone being prominent. Y/N stays quiet again. “We’ve been through so much together, you helped me, and – and – we love each other and now you’re done? You’re giving up? Just like that?” He furrows his pained blue eyes. “I can’t help the way I feel,” she shrugs again. “I don’t want you. I don’t love you anymore, and there’s no point in trying to force feelings when there’s nothing there,” she says.

Michael was suddenly on the verge of a breakdown. The emotions running through his mind, through his heart, it was seeming unbearable. His world was falling apart, breaking into tiny pieces before his eyes. His world was leaving him. “But we’re so good together,” he breathes, trying to control his heavy breathing.

“…Not anymore.”

Michael swallows, having to use every fiber of his being not to blow up into a crying, screaming mess. He felt as if he could feel his heart being ripped into smaller and smaller pieces until nothing was left. He felt like the room was closing in on him, making it harder for him to breathe. He felt as if the air he was breathing around him was escaping from him. But who could blame him? The love of his life was walking out on him.

“I’m sorry for doing this to you,” she says, less than apologetic. Y/N picks up her belongings, opening the front door and taking a step towards it. Michael grabs her wrist, refusing to believe this. “Wait.” “Michael, let go of me,” she looks back at him. “Please don’t go,” he says, his voice sounding straining and becoming shakier from how upset he was getting.  “Don’t leave me. Please.” “You need to let go of me,” Y/N says monotone. “Don’t do this to us. We can work through this,” he pleads, voice straining more than earlier. “Let go of me, Michael.” “We can talk about this,” Michael tries, not wanting to give up, “I’ll do anything, we can–” “There’s nothing for us to talk about anymore. Now let go of me.” “No, Y/N, I – I can’t. I can’t…” Y/N tries pulling her hand from Michael’s but he doesn’t let it happen. She tries again, but if anything he just holds tighter, holding onto her and pulling her closer, back into the room and hoping she’ll change her mind. “Let go of me,” she says a bit louder. “Please, Y/N, please don’t do this,” he begs. “Let go of me.” “Don’t do this to us,” he begs. “Michael, let go of me right now. I’m leaving, and you need to deal with it.” “No, no I can’t, I can’t. I love you so much,” he says, voice trembling, his sorrowful blue eyes watering, “please don’t leave m–” “Let go of me!” She calls, pulling her hand away from him harder. “Let go of me right now!” She yells, pulling harshly away from him.

Once out of his hold, she grips her suitcase tightly, and she fades away as she walks out the door. The door slams shuts in front of Michael, him shaking his head as he tries to process what just happened to him.

He was finding it more difficult to breathe as the seconds ticked on; his breathing getting more and more heavy. He wasn’t going to accept this. She always promised she would never leave him like how everyone else in his life had. There was no way this was happening. He loved Y/N with all of his heart, did everything he could to make her happy, and yet, it wasn’t enough and she left him. She was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.

Michael leans forward, resting his head against the door. He slams his fist against it, shaking his head on it. A string of quiet and desperate “No’s” leaving his mouth, his eyes welling up in constant tears. He didn’t give a care in the world about his behavior in these moments. He couldn’t believe what happened, he couldn’t believe he had lost his world. The best thing to ever happen to him just walked out of his life for good and the space around him was crashing down like a ton of bricks.

Michael let out a few low cries, leaning his head down more against the wall. He steps back, shaking his head and ruffling his hair. He pushes his hands through his hair harshly, making his already ruffled hair more messy and tussled. He brings his hands to his face, shaking his head in them.

“No, no, no,” he whined, feeling the water flow into his hands. “No!” He yelled, dropping his hands. He breathed out heavily, having to take a deep breath, but only to keep taking deep breaths as it felt like he had no air to breathe anymore. “This isn’t happening,” he yelled to himself, covering his face again. “No! Y/N, I need you!” He yells as if she was in front of him to hear, hoping somehow she would hear his cries and change her mind.

He turns around, leaning back. He slides down the wall, sitting on the ground, feeling all of it ten times more, every second hurting a hundred times more than the one before, feeling utterly and completely alone and abandoned, all over again like he had his whole life until he met her.

When his eyes snap open, he’s breathing harder than he would be normally. His body is in a trembling state, his heart seeming to be pounding against his chest. He instantly turns onto his side, facing Y/N, reaching over for her.

He was never shy to cuddle into her. She seemed shy sometimes to cuddle into him during the night in the fear of disturbing him from a nightmare or something. But he never minded or got upset if she did. He rather her wake him up in those kinds of moments. He never minded being closer to her, or taking care of her. And when it came to him cuddling up to her, or waking her up over something, he never hesitated, knowing she never minded either.

But as he reaches over for her, he feels nothing but the cool sheets of the mattress and blankets. His eyes widen in alert, his pulse quickening, his heart beginning to pound ten times harder than it was when first waking up.

He feels around in the bed more so, doing a double take to make sure Y/N really isn’t laying down beside him. The fear, the panic, the heartbreak begins to set in for him and he’s already on the verge of an actual breakdown.

He tosses the blankets off of him immediately, jumping out of bed. “Y/N,” he calls, turning his nightstand lamp on. He calls her name again, racing for the door, turning on the hallway light and rushing down the hall. “Y/N,” he calls once more just as she turns the corner a few feet away from him.

“Michael, what’s wron–” she starts, voice soft and concerned. But she stops as Michael rushes for her, grabbing her and pulling her into his arms. He pulls her tightly into his body, his arms wrapping securely around her in the fear that if he let’s go, she’ll leave and disappear.

Michael breathes with relief when she wraps her arms around him, holding onto him just as tightly.

“Are you okay,” she asks. “You’re breathing so heavy and gosh, your heart is beating so hard against me. Are you alright?” She asks again, more concerned, arms holding around him protectively.

“You left me,” Michael gasps, breathing a deep breath in as his chest hyperventilates.

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes, “I was just getting some water,” she pouts a bit.

“No, no. You left me,” he says, voice strained, on the brink of tears. “You didn’t love me anymore. You didn’t want me and you packed up and left. You were done with us and you were done with me. You didn’t love me, you didn’t want me, you left. You were gone, you were never going to come back,” he panics, his hold tightening on her, and maybe a little too tight. But she wasn’t going to say anything.

“Michael,” she pouts more sadly, voice gentle. “No. I’m here. I’m here with you. That was just a bad dream,” she says, realizing he’s woken up from a nightmare. “It wasn’t real,” she brings a hand to the back of his head, pushing her fingers through his cute curls in the hopes to soothe him. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”

He exhales deeply, her words flooding through him, bringing him relief of his fear and panic, but his hold not loosening up.

“You mean everything to me. I would never walk out on you,” Y/N adds.

“…It was so hard to believe in the dream. You were – it was like you had no emotion of what was happening. You just wanted out and you were almost too cruel about it. Just wanting to leave, wanting to get away from me for good. You wouldn’t even talk it out, I couldn’t do anything,” his eyes widen a bit as he replays the dream in his head, his anxiousness returning.

“Dream version of ‘me’ sounds like a bitch,” Y/N says quietly, trying to defuse the situation with some humor. But feeling the way Michael still shakes, feeling the way his heart still pounds against her, breaks her heart, making her frown. “I’d never do that to you, Michael,” she continues to push her fingers through his hair, and she leans her head into the crook of his neck, pressing her lips against his skin. “I don’t have enough words to describe to you how much I love you, and how I would never abandon you. It was just a dream,” she says kindly.

He swallows, his hold still not letting up. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. But the image of her leaving him replays over and over in his head. His body calms a bit but still trembles in her arms, his heart rate refusing to slow.

“Baby, relax,” she coos, voice gentle and soft. “I’m not going anywhere,” she tells him. His hold around her is already tight, with her arms around him being tight too. But with his behavior, she tightens her hold on him, bringing him impossibly closer to her, there being virtually no space between the two of them at all.

“Y/N, please don’t leave me,” he whispers, voice shaky. “I love you, I love you more than anything in this world,” he begins to panic again. “Don’t go, please don’t ever go away, I’ll do anything for you. I know I was a monster, b-but I’m better now, you’ve helped me, and I’ll do whatever to make you happy, just please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me,” he whispers, pleading and voice full of worry and panic. “I love you, I love you so much.”

“Michael,” she begins as she let’s go of her hold a bit. Doing this panics Michael more and he keeps his hold around her even tighter, refusing to let her leave like in his dream. She tries again, but it doesn’t work. Michael just doesn’t loosen up on his hold. It wasn’t like she was going to let go of him completely, she just wanted to look at him. But she decides on staying put. She wraps her arms around him again, burying her face back into his neck for a moment again.

“Don’t go, please don’t go,” Michael whispers again, him leaning his lower face against her shoulder, his lips pressing to her skin. “Don’t leave me,” he whispers against her.

“Listen to me, Michael. Look at me,” she starts gently.

Michael pauses, but does as she says, letting go of her just a bit to look down at her face. But he keeps his arms around her still.

She pulls her arms away from his body, only bringing them up in between them. She uses her thumbs to wipe under his eyes which are a bit wet from tears. She smiles a bit, her eyes scanning over his face carefully. She leans closer to him, pressing her lips to his, lightly at first. A simple, sweet kind of kiss. She pulls back, giving little space between them. She leans back in, kissing him again, still being just as sweet, but a bit more than the first, assuring him of her love for him.

When she pulls away, she reaches up, grabbing his face in her hands. “I’m sorry you had that kind of dream. I know how awful they can be. But that’s all they are. Just dreams,” she says comfortingly, her thumb brushing under his eyes again. “There would never be a reason for me to leave you. You’re the only one for me,” she smiles a bit. “And you’re not a monster. You never were. You needed some guidance and love, and you got it and now look at how far you’ve come.” She drops her hands, moving to grab Michael’s arms around her.

He figures she’s going to grab him to let go of her. But he’s glad she only makes him tighten his hold, her pressing against his body as she wraps her arms around his torso again. “Never worry about me leaving or abandoning you. It won’t happen. I’m yours.” She leans in a bit, “And you’re mine too,” she smiles. “So I’m never letting you go either. I love you.”

Michael presses his pouty, plump lips together, closing his eyes and leaning forward to rest his forehead against her shoulder as a rush of relief flows through him. “Even though it was just a dream, the way I felt.. It was horrible, unbearable, I – I don’t, I don’t want to even imagine it happening for real,” he shakes his head against her.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not going anywhere,” she says. She brushes her fingers against his back gently. “Let’s get back to bed, okay,” she says. “Let me take care of you.”

Michael takes a quiet deep breath, but lifts his head, looking at her. He nods, mumbling, “Okay.” He hesitates but he let’s go of her as her arms fall from him.

She grabs his hand, her other hand grabbing theirs together as she walks off down the hallway. She leads Michael to the bed in their room, letting him crawl in as she turns the nightstand lamp off. He sits down, laying his body down and getting comfortable. She brings the covers up on him, tucking him in. She places her hand at his head, pushing some of the blond curls out of his face and leaning down, kissing him.

When she stands back up, Michael quickly grabs onto her hand before she walks off, telling her to stay with him.

“I’m just going to turn the hallway lights off, I promise,” she assures. “I’ll be right back.”

Michael hesitates a second but let’s go of her hand, giving her a nod, trying to calm himself down and taking another deep breath.

After Y/N turns the lights off, she kneels onto the bed, crawling over and standing on her hands and knees over Michael. She sits down on his lower waist, straddling his body. She leans over with a smile on her face, kissing him, first simply like earlier, but quickly transitioning to a deep and fuller kiss.

She pulls back barely, Michael feeling the smile on her lips. She presses her lips back to his, pulling back once more and kissing him again, and slower. Slow to where as she leans in each time, it causes a type of craving, a yearning in Michael as he impatiently waits for her lips to touch his again and again, not wanting her to ever stop.

She sits up after, moving her hands to rest on Michael’s collarbones. “I love you,” she states to him, wanting to make sure he’s reassured.

Michael’s hands move, grabbing onto her waist. He holds onto her, sliding his hands down slowly, feeling the curves of her body, a solace flowing through him. His hands slide down to her lower hips, gripping her in a secure fashion.

Y/N leans down, pressing her chest against his. She rests an arm beside Michael’s head, her fingers playing with his hair. Her other hand comes to his face, her fingertips tracing over his skin gently. “You’re okay,” she says in a reassuring tone.

He nods, feeling better than he had before when first waking up from that nightmare.

Y/N’s fingertips continue to trace over his skin softly, her eyes staying on him as they’ve adjusted to the darkness around them. His eyes don’t leave her face either, his focus being solely on her, as it always is it seems. Never wanting to miss a glimpse of her beauty, of her contact, of her anything.

Michael smiles, leaning up and pressing his lips to hers. He uses his hands to help push him to sit up, then leaning over Y/N and turning her to switch their positions, causing her to lay against the bed as he rests against her body.

He kisses her again once adjusting his body between her legs. Y/N’s hand on his cheek stays in place as their lips move sweetly and deeply together. He keeps his lips to hers, yearning for her, never getting enough of her, Michael knowing he will always crave and need her.

~

Thanks for reading!! Any and all feedback is very appreciated <3

[cloudfiveclub]

guilty conscience ➵ r.c.

Summary ; You always fall for the men with empty chests. 

Warning(s) ; swearing, unprotected sexual intercourse (wrap it before you tap it, kids!), angst and sad shit

Word Count ; 1.2k+

Author’s Note ; this is for @cieloxcnco‘s 1000 followers challenge! prompt used is: Animal - The Cab / My heart may be missing but my hands will make up for it

congrats again babyyyy 💞

also can i just say, this is NOT one of my best works. i thought it started out decently but half way through i think it just got a little weird. not my proudest piece but i hope you guys like this x

edit: the format for this one is a little different and includes a lot of paragraphing and spacing between sentences and unfortunately it doesn’t show up on the mobile tumblr app so for best experience read on your computer sigh

masterlist

disclaimer | these are only based on my own opinions and imagination and are purely fictitious, as such they in no way accurate or true

Again.

I saw him. Again.

Like the stupid idiot I am. 

Desperate.

Mindless.

Fool.

I really didn’t know when to stop. I didn’t how to stop. 

Everyone had told me about him and no one had mentioned her name. But I knew the story. How she fucked him over and left him with a broken heart and an empty closet. 

Gone in a night. 

And he never recovered. 

And then I came along. 

The naive girl thinking she could fix the broken bad boy like in every dumb romance novel she read. 

That he’d miraculously reciprocate the feelings she felt for him. 

That she was the special someone he would open his heart up to. 

That they’d live happily ever after, living out the rest of their days in each other’s arms. 

I really believed that shit. 

I really couldn’t get any dumber. 

I really thought he would eventually somehow develop feelings for me. 

Here I am again though. 

Lying in bed with him next to me. The combination of the thick quilt and his body had the intended purpose to warm me, yet I only felt cold and alone. 

He knew what he was doing.

He was making it worse.

He’s probably suspected for months.

But he never said anything.

I had confessed to him half a year ago. And he’d broken the news to me. 

I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same way, Y/N.

You’re a nice girl though.

Like that was supposed to make the situation better. 

He found me drinking my sorrows away that night pathetically with the alcohol I found in the minibar. 

He told me to stop. 

I told him all I wanted was for him to be mine. 

He’d kept silent when I said that. 

Maybe you can.

You can have me. Sexually.

If you want me, I’ll be there.

It was wrecking his conscience knowing he’d broken the heart of one of the sweetest girls he’d ever known. 

He was trying to make it better.

Letting me have some piece of him to stitch up my heart as best he could. 

He was fucking stupid. 

But he was just trying to be nice.

I can’t blame him. 

I never can. 

-

Richard’s fingers were round my throat again.

Constricting my airflow.

Stealing my breath away like he always did. 

Both in and out of bed. 

“Good fucking girl, baby,” he groans deeply in my ear. “Taking daddy’s cock so well.”

I whimpered at that, any sort of coherent response flying out my mind. His cock felt good. 

So. Fucking. Good.

He filled me up perfectly. My walls always hugged his thick girth oh so nicely. Like two complementary puzzle pieces. 

I gasped when his hand tightened round my throat. 

“Please,” I begged. 

What was I begging for?

For him to let me cum? 

Or for him to love me like I loved him?

He doesn’t respond verbally, a dangerous predatory growl the only sound slipping past his lips. It sends shivers right down to my core. 

I don’t care if he doesn’t love me. 

I just want him so badly. I want all of him. 

“Please fill me up, daddy,” I beg. 

This sends him over the edge. His hips stutter, before he slams deeply into me, burying himself to the hilt inside me. He groans deeply as he releases his load into me. 

We never did it with protection. 

I knew he loved the risk and the thrill. 

I didn’t mind doing it for him. 

It’s for me too, though. I want to feel all of him. As much as I can. 

He pulls out after he’s calmed down, and I’m left feeling empty. 

“I didn’t cum, Rich.”

Our eyes meet knowingly, and he rolls me over onto my back. 

“I’m sorry, baby.”

His apology sounds so sincere, and my heart flutters at how genuinely sweet he sounds. I slap myself mentally when I get all warm and fuzzy inside again.

Don’t be so fucking stupid. 

He isn’t doing this because he cares for you. 

He’s doing this because he knows how you feel. 

He wants to think he’s doing you a favour by letting you have him to yourself. 

He’s doing this because he feels bad for you. 

Richard’s fingers come into contact with my swollen pearl, and he rubs it the way he knows I like it best. My mouth falls open and my breaths become short as my third orgasm creeps up on me. I fall apart on his fingers pretty quick, but it’s so powerful it wrecks me.

My toes curl and my body thrashes off the bed, white filling my vision as my head spins. 

I must have blacked out temporarily, because I come to with Richard pressing a cold towel to my forehead and rubbing my waist affectionately. 

“Are you okay?”

I’m only able to nod. 

Words aren’t exchanged much between us. 

The silence almost makes me uncomfortable. 

He lays down next to me after he helps clean me up. It’s such a strangely intimate thing to do especially since he doesn’t like me. My heart aches when I remind myself of that again. 

He pulls the covers over us and the both of us lay next to each other in silence. He doesn’t bother making any conversation. 

-

I’m alone when I wake up in the morning. At least I think I am. Until I get a whiff of burnt bacon from the kitchen downstairs.

I know it’s Richard and his futile attempts at cooking again. 

I crack a smile at the effort he always makes to try and whip something up for me though. 

But it drops when I realize once again - he’s doing this cause he feels bad. 

I stay under the sheets and it doesn’t take him long to come back upstairs again. He jogs into the room, chest decorated lightly with sweat and basketball shorts hanging low on his hips.

He looks so fucking good. 

He chuckles when he realizes I’m awake. 

“Hope I didn’t wake you up cause of that dumb bacon.”

I fake a smile as I pull the covers around myself tighter. 

I’m reminded once again. 

He isn’t mine. 

But what guy takes the effort to make you breakfast when you’re only a fuck buddy? 

He’s technically mine in a way. 

And I’m his. 

Stop deluding yourself. 

It’s almost awkward as he continues standing there, looking at me and I back. 

“Thanks for trying though,” I respond quietly, letting a gentle smile play on my face to assure him as best as I can. 

His features soften and a relieved smile crosses his face. 

“You wanna just get breakfast at starbucks or something?”

I stop myself from gritting my teeth when he says that. 

He’s always like this. 

Asking me out for meals when he knows how I feel.

It’s almost like he’s leading me on on purpose.

He just does this to make himself feel better. Like he’s making it up to me in some way. But I know he’d rather do anything else than grab meals and take me out all the time.  

His heart isn’t in it.

It’s an empty gesture. 

He does it because of his guilty conscience. 

But his hands always feel so good. 

Was I willing to let that go? 

It was the only way I could have him. 

God, but I hate wanting him all the time. 

I didn’t bother responding verbally. 

I just sat up and pulled him into bed with me. 

One more time. 

| TAG LIST |

@la-undercover-latina

[artificialqueens]

First Day Of My Life (Trixya) - Sinatra

A/N: Songfic, titled and based around the song First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes. I use Brian for Trixie and Katya for Katya to keep from confusion. Pronouns change from whether they're in drag, but mostly it is either mentioned/implied, or isn't very important. Also, sorry if the formatting or spaces are a bit screwed, I'm not used to submitting on Tumblr mobile or on Tumblr at all. Enjoy!

This is the first day of my life,

Swear I was born right in the doorway.

Trixie remembers sauntering through those bright doors, insecure and making a faux-play at confidence all the while. Seeing that face, just for the first time. Nothing was brought on that first encounter, besides the fact that Katya, that was her name, made her feel so much more insecure due to her beauty.

I went out in the rain and then everything

changed,

They're spreading blankets on the beach.

Elimination was something that was inevitable, that was something Trixie learned much too early on. But there was always a sense of security in it; If she was going to make a fool of herself for national television, might as well make them feel as if her time was due. There's no comfort in a second, or sorry, 10th, place. But keeping up a false hope always seemed corny to her.

Yours was the first face that I saw,

I think I was blind before I met you.

In the midst of the controlled chaos, Brian saw far too much when he wasn't in the outfit that helped him shut it out. It started with jokes only they would laugh at in the workroom, vents and stresses. And then before he knew it, he packed his things and left. As Trixie was approaching the back of the main stage, ready to make the final impression, her eyes caught to Katya's. Only a shocked face was caked behind all the makeup, and Trixie couldn't blame her. There really were no hard feelings in it. It's all fine for now, no more stresses, no more vents, no more inside jokes. Dedragged the next day, Brian was emotionally empty, and he didnt know why. There were no bright white smiles in his life anymore, he guessed, and that would stay for a while. But a number placed in his makeup bag changed that; He'd just have to wait a little longer.

I don't know where I am, I don't know

where I've been,

But I,

Know where I want to go.

As the airing started, he was booked to the fucking max.

Booked to where he couldn't find a single empty space in his calendar.

And as much as it was comforting, it was draining, and he knew who to call just for that. So he did, a lot, almost every other day. Instead of waking up with headaches and sore feet and back, he got up, motivated, knowing at the end of all of this he'd get that call from Katya, who was coincidentally also Brian, (they had a good laugh at that). It ended his bad days, long shows and meet and greets with a smile, even if he was gross and made crude jokes just to get a laugh out of him at night.

And so I thought I'd let you know,

That these things take forever,

I especially am slow.

It was when he was staying with Katya, a few years after they had met. Best friends, beyond best. It's humorous looking back, seeing how frank and bold the situation, or Katya, was. It was a simple ask to fuck, and though Brian was tempted in the most disgusting way, he couldn't let what they have sink over an impulse. Laughs and no's, they carried on until the next encounters that got weird, and Brian just wanted to keep things in control. Thats just how he was.

But I realized that I need you,

and I wondered if I could

come home.

It was a bad night. Everyone had them, no one wants them, and no one wants to go through them alone. Grabby people, shouts of drunken people. It got to the point where he got heckled, fucking heckled on the street when he wasn't fully dedragged and he decided to just walk the small way home after changing his wig and heels. Random people threatening, chasing, him running, locking the door two times over and sitting on the couch with the only available weapon next to him. He was shaking violently, and the only person he wanted to call had no hope of response. But he called anyway, letting the rhythmic dial tones almost calm him until he heard a pause and a, "Hey, whats up?" amongst booming club music somewhere in the background. Explaining the situation was the last thing he wanted to do as it was fresh, but when Katya heard the shakiness in his voice, and the almost-crying panic, he had to.

And Katya helped.

So much.

I remember the time you drove all night,

Just to meet me in the morning.

And I thought it was strange, you said

everything changed.

You felt as if you just woke up.

It was no place any friend wanted to be in when your friend said they'd drive hours to your stupid apartment just to make sure you're okay. It's the ultimate guilt, ultimate "I'm okay, I swear. If you come up here I swear to god..". But if Brian was convinced Katya didn't have a followthrough with something, he wasn't now. Hours later, still wired with panic, his head shot up to a jingle of the front door trying to be opened, and then a knock. He couldn't feel his god damn skin he was so freaked out. But he knew the outcome of opening the door wouldn't be dangerous mere moments later when he remembered their conversation. With a shaky step, he unlocked his door, and opened. There stood Katya, with still a small fading black liner around his eyes. His grin shone brighter than the rising sun in his living room after no sleep.

"Thank you." He said, after Katya let himself in and promptly wrapped his arms around the taller man in a gentle hug. He couldn't not cry. He was dramatic, and even if there was no harm, his night- no, day, became so much better then.

And you said,

"This is the first day of my life,

I'm glad I didn't die before I met you.

But now I don't care, I could go anywhere

with you,

And I'd probably be happy."

Years pass after their encounters and soothing patterns on Brian's back just to get him to fall asleep. They're successful, and together so often Brian's feelings have almost stopped bubbling at the edge before they spill. There's always the reassurance, for both of them, that they're there for eachother no matter what. Being on tour together was another odd component of closeness, because unlike being near acquaintances, it didn't feel as if Brian was being suffocated or he was wearing thin with the constant interaction. It was easy, almost too easy to be with Katya.

So if you wanna be with me,

with these things there's no telling,

we just have to wait and see.

But I'd rather be working for a paycheck,

Than waiting to win the lottery.

"You do know we have separate rooms right.." Brian said with a light laugh afterwards. Katya was sprawled out horizontally on his bed, with Brian on his phone watching as Katya did the same and hummed to himself. He laughed and nodded, looking over to the other man. "It's no fun. And I'd be texting you from the other room anyway." Brian simply sighed, not out of annoyance or a need to be alone, just to fill the air because he was right. "Well can you at least sit on my bed like a normal person?... And not perform gymnastics for your Instagram stories?" Brian laughed harder as Katya's leg came up and peeked behind his head on the screen of his phone as he filmed. "Mama, this is a deep stretch rou-TINE!" As the laughter died down Katya let out a, "Y'know what, yeah." and got up to crawl over next to Brian in his bed. Brian smiled and rested his head on Katya's shoulder, just appreciating his company even if he's had an abundance of it over these months. He saw Katya position his camera to take a selfie of them both and Brian just laughed at the sheer cheesiness of it. Katya sported a grin next to the meek smiling Brian, and he captioned the story, '3 year anniversary with my beloved wife! Honeymoon bound.' along with the location of the major city they were in. Brian laughed, "Please send that to me."

Moments later, they were in a comfortable silence, and within minutes they were just cuddling together as Brian watched what Katya was doing on his phone out of sheer boredom. "I love you." Brian said as almost a small nothing now, and Katya smiled and said, "I know." Brian knew the response he'd give, and he was satisfied. "Cunt." He giggled, letting them both ease into a fit of laughs, with Katya looking at him earnestly only centimeters away. It always got to him how good Katya looked out of drag, made him almost as insecure as when he saw him in drag in the workroom the first day he saw his face. There didn't need to be any non-drag kisses to solidify whatever this was, which was a bit sad on his part, but his feelings were so strong sometimes he gets blinded. There truly was no appropriate way to show his appreciation. So there they were, staring mindlessly at eachother with a hint of a smile on both of their faces. "Can I kiss you?" Katya said as he always did. Brian of course chuckled and nodded, and it happened sincerely. Not heated, not masked. Eyes just slipped shut gently, just as gentle as the kiss. It was long, and it didn't change. Maybe the emotion he put in it will do for now, because he couldn't imagine finding words after they pulled apart. And he couldn't find any words. Just a strong tugging at his heart, not so much bitter as it was dying to be heard. But he didn't allow anything to become of it as he put his face back into the crook of Katya's neck and exhaled, closing his eyes and letting the sleep approach him slowly, and then all at once.

Besides, maybe this time is different

I mean, I really think you like me.

[enthusiastic-sarcastic]

For You (Part Two)

Pairing: Fionn Whitehead x Reader

Request: “Could you please write something based on any of Fionn and Joe songs? Like the story behind Don’t Go or For You, maybe?”

Warnings: Angst, some fluff.

A/N: Here’s the second part. Blame the mobile app for the weird spacing. I hope you enjoy!! I recommend listening to the song while you read, you can find it on YouTube or Fionn and Joe’s SoundCloud account (I would post it here but for some reason the link isn’t working cuz again tumblr is mean).

[Part One]

The room grows silent, as his slightly chapped lips press against yours, his eyes closed as if scared of your reaction. After what seems like an eternity, you’re finally kissing him back, and the room picks up again. Spinning as you place your hands over the sides of his face to pull him closer. Spinning when you let out a muffled moan against his lips with the release of all of the unspoken tension. Spinning when you quickly pull away from him, and he has to catch his breath again.

And now, you’re shaking your head, and so suddenly this night is reminding him of that one.

“No, I can’t—We can’t.”

Fionn’s breath is labored as he tries to come up with the right words to address the impending argument.

“I know—Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking—I ended things, I shouldn’t have-”

“You can’t do this to me. This can’t keep happening. Why did you kiss me when you made the decision about us years ago, Fionn?”

You’re quick to stand up, and all Fionn wants to do is grab you and never let go. But he understands your anger. He understands that look in your eye that he couldn’t quite place before.

“Because I think I’m still in love with you.”

You scoff at his words, your eyes getting red and puffy as more tears fall silently onto your cheeks. He attempts to make eye contact with you, but it’s almost as if you can’t bring yourself to look at him, and he can’t blame you as his heart beats painfully within his chest.

“You think? That’s not fair, Fionn.”

“No, god, I know that I’m still in love with you.”

“No, you know what—I can’t listen to this. I can’t bear it. I can’t stand the thought of knowing that you still love me in the same way that I love you. You’re making it impossible to move on, even years later, Fionn.”

“I—”

“I know, I get it. You wanted me to be happy and you figured that the relationship was only prohibiting that due to the demands of your career and I respect your decision. It took me a while but I truly do…But that doesn’t mean that I can just forget your words and move on—that doesn’t mean that we can just start over—it still hurts, Fionn, and I don’t want to complicate things any further.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be here…this should’ve never happened. I really shouldn’t intrude on your life, that’s not...that’s not my place anymore.” He’s shaking, with his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets and his eyes turned forcibly away from yours, as his vision becomes blurry and the room continues to spin.

And just like that, the silence has returned. And he can’t stand it when he knows that you’re standing right there with tears running down your face.

Eventually, he hears you sigh, before he feels your hand being placed onto his arm—a comforting touch.

“Fionn, I don’t want to lose you again…”

Your voice is constricted by the small sobs that fall from your lips,

“Can’t we just be friends? Go back—way back—to the way things used to be? That way, even though we’re almost always miles apart, it’ll seem like things haven’t changed—like we can just pick up where we left off—in those few moments when we can enjoy each other’s company, without all the hurt.”

I don’t see their faces

They walk right past by me

But it’s just empty spaces

A friend’s telling me to stop dreamin’

But I just can’t shake off this feelin’

The walk to the cafe seems to go on for ages before Fionn finally arrives at the scuffed doors of the place, just a few minutes before he’s expected, and that makes him increasingly more nervous than before.

After his last encounter with you—after that fated kiss—Fionn, against the pressure of a past heartbreak, agreed to attempt to reconcile your friendship with him.

Although, now, as he sits on a wooden stool at the counter, coffee in hand and heart racing at the mere thought of seeing your face again for the first time in eight months, he doesn’t think he will survive the hour.

Strangers walk by the glass window beside the counter, but his eyes don’t register anything except masses of grey and blue. In fact, his entire surroundings start to slowly bleed together, as his mind grows fuzzy in preparation to see you walk towards the cafe—towards him.

If Fionn was being honest with himself, he didn’t think he could bear to talk to you without wanting to kiss you again. You were always a looming thought in his mind. And ever since that night and your agreement, it had become difficult for him to focus on anything else. Food suddenly had no taste. Music was suddenly just noise. And so, for the last few weeks, Fionn decided that it would be best to just dive into his work—to assume the role of another—in order to cope with his profound feelings.

But you knock me out of my trance

Please just give me

One more chance

With you

Feelings that suddenly come rushing back into him as he spots your figure walking towards the cafe and the color returns to his eyes and the world around him reanimates itself.

He fumbles to stand up from his chair, as you walk closer towards the counter, and suddenly you’re hugging him tightly, and he’s kissing your hair.

It takes a few moments for you to pull away from him, much to his delight, and the friendly smile returns to your face as you finally speak to him,

“It’s been so long.”

He nods in agreement, a smile growing on his face as he takes a seat, your words softly repeating in the back of his head as if pleading him to do something.

With you

Once you order your preferred coffee drink, you sit down in the seat next to him with your knees almost touching by their close proximity.

“So, not trying to be pushy but what can you tell me about your latest project, movie star?”

Fionn’s face visibly cringes at the sudden nickname and it sends you into fits of laughter,

“Honestly, all I can say is that it’s coming out sometime towards the end of next year…”

“Aww that’s it…” You whine jokingly, raising your eyebrows suggestively as if doing so would convince him to share his secrets with you.

“Hey, I signed a contract. You’re just gonna have to wait til the trailer comes out along with the rest of the world” He laughs at you when you cross your arms and sigh dramatically.

“What about you…Anything interesting happening in your life right now?”

“Well, work is…work. I just got back from New York on Friday after sitting through hours of business meetings over winning the rights from some author for the new film adaptation of some bestseller…”

You trail off and shake your head, taking a sip from your cup before placing it back onto the wooden counter,

“It’s been exhausting but I guess it’s worth it…”

He nods his head with a soft sigh, raising his cup up to you comically, and you quickly follow his suggestion, clinking the cups together as if to preach the truth behind your words.

But I’m missing

The way that I used to be

I’m missing

The days when I was happy

I’m missing

The things that made me believe

That you and me

By the time that Fionn finally notices the empty state of your cups, the rain has really started to pick up outside, beating ruthlessly against the brick exterior of the building insomuch that it disrupts the sultry jazz tune that plays on the speakers scattered across the room.

“It was very odd to see you on screen, just casually chopping away at your fictional dad’s body…The whole time I just felt really bad about torturing your character, but in the end it was kind of amusing.” You chuckle, and Fionn shakes his head at you,

“Yeah, the layout of that entire scene was so morbid but honestly I had fallen—we all had fallen—so deeply into the hole of the project that I didn’t really think very much of it…I was drained.”

Fionn can’t help but admire the way that your eyes look under the dim lighting of the room as the rain continues to fall outside and a rumble of thunder echoes from the distance.

“Honestly, I almost cried when I got to the ending where Stefan travels back in time to be with his mom and ends up dying in his therapist’s office. That was one of the good endings but it was still so hard to sit through” You sigh contently, and start fidgeting with your hands as you lean against the tabletop.

Suddenly a phone rings, interrupting the peaceful silence that had settled between the two of you, and Fionn becomes suddenly aware of just how quick you are to grab your phone from the purse dangling from your chair.

A smile appears across your cheeks as the screen lights up, projecting a dull blue hue across your features. A smile that makes him wonder whether or not it appears on your face whenever you see that he’s texted you.

“Damn, I’ve gotta go…I’m sorry to cut this short but I have somewhere to be in an hour and I really need to change out of these clothes.”

You glance up at Fionn with apologetic eyes and a warm smile.

“Ooh why…do you have a fancy date or something?” Fionn teases, without really thinking about the meaning of his words.

“Actually…yeah…” You trail off and his face seems to visibly drop as you fiddle anxiously with you fingers again and continue,

“It’s just a small dinner and movie thingy with this guy that deals with our legal defense team at work…”

Fionn wants to smile, he truly does, but for some reason, it’s as if his body has frozen in place, and he can only stare back into your eyes,

You seem to fidget under his gaze, shaking your head as you look at him,

“I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable…that was really bad timing…I hope this doesn’t screw up the opportunity to see you again.”

Your words send his heart racing, and the color returns to his cheeks as he clears his throat in an attempt to clear the emotion lingering in the back of it,

“No. Sorry, it’s just—I’m sorry if I gave you that impression…It may not seem like it but I’m really happy for you, (Y/N)…Truly. I’m happy that you’re happy. I’ll always support you.”

He manages a smile the best he can—one that even crinkles the edges of skin around his eyes—and that seems to convince you because your lips curl into a smile that matches his.

“Thanks, Fionn…”

You throw your arms around him and hug him tightly—almost desperately—and he quickly succumbs to your embrace, nuzzling his nose into your hair. Although Fionn realizes that his time with you is coming to an end, he can’t bring himself to push down the numb feeling anymore. As you part from his arms, it begins to feel as if a part of himself goes with you, but you remain close enough to him that he can collect his thoughts.

“I’m happy that you’re in my life again” You admit, pulling up the strap of your purse onto your shoulder,

“And I hope that you’ve found happiness too”

Fionn’s heartbeat continues to speed up at your words, beating against his chest like the rain that drummed heavily against the rooftop of the stuffy room, and he finds himself able to fight off the impending sadness traveling through him.

He doesn’t want to let his feelings get in the way of your growing friendship. He doesn’t want to screw up it all up when it’s only just begun. He doesn’t want to—he can’t—stand to watch you walk out of his life again.

In all of the chaos of dealing with the perplexity of his own emotions, Fionn is only barely able to hear your utterance of goodbye before he finds himself waving in your direction, a routine smile plastered onto his face.

You give him one last wave before you turn around and walk out of the doors of the cafe and Fionn finds himself staring blankly at the spot where you once stood as the jazz music fades out from the speakers overhead and he suddenly has to blink tears away.

Stop crying

Stop crying

Well I’m crying

I’m crying

For you

[klowee]

I made the mistake of updating the tumblr app on my phone — and now I can’t find a place for a title, format properly or happily tap, tap, tap out my daily writing challenge. frustrating.

so, instead of sharing my new strategy of “radical acceptance” — im trying to figure out how to navigate this poorly designed app. excuse you, mobile tumblr.

and we are on a bumpy commute southbound that will end soon — I wasted to whole time fighting with a glitchy older version, submitted to the new version and am left with a post bitching about the whole experience. SIGH.

let’s just do the thing where we blame mercury retrograde so I can wholeheartedly believe that this sweet Friday will run smoothly. and maybe I’ll tell you about a weird date I had with a doctor. or how I am secretly pining after a straight girl (and offer a thousand sighs as I acknowledge I’m much too old for this).

the paragraph spacing on this is aggressive though.

[thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am]

😏 I am here to spam, friend. 1. “I am not here to kill you! I’m here for bread!”

Blackhill, can be considered a companion piece to yesterday’s prompt (because of the claws and claw marks metaphore, but doesn’t need to be read to read this or viceversa (can you tell I’m into weird metaphore and dark stuff lately?) Enjoy! (also if someone knows why Tumblr keeps fucking up my spacing on mobile please lemme know cause it makes me wanna cry)

Maria ison medical leave when it happens. Two weeks mandatory leave until herarm has healed properly, so the doctor said. She’s at the grocerystore two blocks away from her apartment and this is too close for itto be a coincidence, for her to be here by mistake.

They sayBlack Widow likes to set her traps, likes to act like the creaturewhose name she’s made her own, likes to arrange a web and wait forher prey to fall into it all on their own so that, really, they onlyhave themselves to blame for being so reckless, they have to shareher blame and guilt in their own demise.

When Mariaspots her, in that grocery store, there might as well be web threadsscattered all around her, because there is no doubt this is where shefalls into a trap.

She hasher gun aimed between Black Widow’s eyes before the woman even fullyturns to her, her left hand is steady but it’s still her weak handand she’s sure she doesn’t stand a chance if the Black Widow came forher, not with her broken wing.

“Youcame here to kill me, in a grocery store, while I’m on medical leave?That’s low, even for you,” she sees green eyes look in surprise atthe barrel of her gun, then travel up, up, up until they meet her ownand recognition finally reaches them.

Her handsslowly go up. “I’m not here to kill you! I’m here for bread!” Sheslightly shakes the hand that’s holding a loaf of it.

Mariascoffs and keeps her gun steady, trying to decide what to do next.

“Hard tobelieve Red Room sent you grocery shopping.”

“I don’twork with them anymore.”

“Hard tobelieve that, too.”

Sheshrugs, then throws the bread in Maria’s general direction. She hasthe gun in one hand and the other is held against her torso by hersling, so her only option is to duck and lose sight of Black Widowfor all of two seconds. That’s all it takes for her to disappear intothin air.

The nextsixteen hours, Maria barely breaths. She thinks about calling Fury,calling for back-up, or just going to the Triskelion and lock herselfup in her office until she’s sure New York is safe again. But shewon’t let fear win. So she waits it out.

Sureenough, Black Widow finds her apartment easily, breaking in throughthe window like Maria Hill doesn’t live on the fifth floor of abuilding with no fire escape stairs. Maria has been waiting, gun inhand, her right arm sore since she’s stopped taking painkillers, buther mind is already clearer.

Mariadoesn’t need to ask why her and why now; Black Widow’s an assassin,but she’s also a hacker and it wouldn’t be too hard to know she’s onleave and in New York. With her right arm out of order. Then again,of all the things they don’t know about Natalia Romanova they do knowsomething for sure, she never had a taste for mercy. Maria’s an easytarget and Black Widow doesn’t miss.

“I’m nothere to kill you.”

Mariadoesn’t believe her.

“I’mhere to surrender myself.”

Mariadoesn’t believe that, either. But she knows that there’s no other wayout for her but lowering her gun and taking Black Widow where shewants to be taken, she knows nobody has ever survived her if shehadn’t want them to. Her skin feels sticky when she gets up andgestures with her gun to the door, motioning for the other woman towalk ahead of her, like she just walked into a spider web face first.

When shewas little, so young she barely remembered it, she found a small birdwith a broken wing in her backyard, she brought it to her grandmotherand asked her to help her fix him. She took him to a vet, had hiswing set, fed him water through a dropper, loved him instantly andimmensely. Her grandmother told her not to get attached, becausebirds were not meant to be kept in cages. The bird healed, then flewaway unevenly, his wing not quite the same it had been before,mindless to the fact that Maria still loved him.

That’swhat happens when a cat hunts, when he takes a bite of you. You’renever quite the same you had been before. But you fly, if thealternative is staying in a cage.

Maria hadtried to convince her grandmother to keep him; she named him Charlieand loved him even though her grandma said she shouldn’t. She couldnot bring herself to keep him in a cage, but she cried when he flewaway.

Shewondered if birds loved cats, if they got too close sometimes and itwas just a cat’s nature to make a prey out of them because of theircuriosity. She wondered if humans were like that sometimes, too.

Marialoved her father, even though she shouldn’t have. She learned quicklyhow to adapt to cages and broken wings and how some humans werehunters by nature.

Marialoved picking fights, the taste of lemon liquor, and motorcycles. Hergrandmother was right; she had always loved things she shouldn’thave.

She neverquite liked cats, never learned how to love their ways of coming andgoing, never knew that love sometimes doesn’t mean staying, that itcan mean coming back.

NatashaRomanoff is dangerous and hard and the last thing Maria should everlearn to do is love her. She learns it anyway.

NatashaRomanoff comes and goes, like a cat, and is sometimes gone for weeks.She doesn’t love Maria back, but that is not a problem and kind offoregone. Maria plays the prey part well, knows when to let herselfget caught and when to run away, and Natasha keeps chasing her likethere’s nothing else in the world worth a second glance until she’sgot her.

There’srumors and labels thrown around S.H.I.E.L.D.’s headquarters: BlackWidow is a sociopath; Black Widow is a psychopath; Black Widow is afrail girl in desperate need of saving; Black Widow is a story, alegend and nothing more, Natasha Romanoff just wears her mask well.Maria knows these to be lies, some more than others.

NatashaRomanoff enters her apartment through the window, even when shedoesn’t have to, because she doesn’t like to knock and get invitedin, rather she chooses where to be and when. She shows affection withno words but just by being there, like a cat. Maybe, Maria thinks ona night she’s feeling particularly honest with herself, there is noaffection at all to be shown. Natasha likes to use her, likes the wayMaria makes her feel human, likes the way Maria is inclined to give,give, give until there’s nothing left to gift. She likes how Mariahates people but likes her, lets her get away with things she neverwould stand in someone else.

Natashaisn’t sure she can even feel love. What she can feel, especially whenthey’re in a state of undress that makes it blatantly obvious Mariais completely disarmed, is the distinct lack of the urge to get ridof her. She usually gets that with everyone she has to spend morethan ten minutes with, she prefers to be on her own. But Maria isokay, kind of. She doesn’t hate having her close by, she has grown tobarely dislikes the look in her eyes when Maria looks at her, and shesometimes even likes to stay after they have sex for no other reasonbut the soothing rhythm of another human being’s heart – notMaria’s, she tells herself, just any heart. She wonders if she’slying to herself, but decides she doesn’t care.

Mariashouldn’t get attached to her, shouldn’t fall in love with stickyhands from the webs around her, shouldn’t be indifferent to the factthat, if this is a trap, she’s already fallen in it a long timebefore.

She fallsin love slowly but immensely, with the constant knowledge that,unavoidable as it is, Natasha can’t love her back.

Mariacan’t bring herself to care, or to stop.

For a longtime, Maria doesn’t trust Natasha further than her hand can reach.She waits for the trap to snap, she waits for the fallback. Theyunravel together, trust can only work that way, they learn how to bedefenseless with each other and it’s recharging, those walls theykeep up are exhausting.

Natashahas a cat, pitch black, named Liho. Maria hates her and the cat hatesMaria, they avoid each other as much as possible, until one nightMaria sees her staring at her from the floor while she’s pouring aglass of water and decides to squat down and holds her hand up. Lihosniffs it with disinterest, then gives it a tentative lick. She gnawsat Maria’s fingers, then tries to catch one between her paws whenMaria wiggles them.

When sherises after a couple of minutes, her palm as a small scratch and abite mark. She wonders if maybe she had it wrong all this time, ifmaybe it’s cats who love birds and sometimes get too close and end uphurting them because they have no other way to love them.

Thatthought hurts her a little and she feels a sadness she can’t explain.

Natashalikes that Maria doesn’t hold the fact that she can’t love her backagainst her. It makes her feel guilty, sometimes, that she can’t giveher that, that she can’t love Maria the way Maria seems to love her.On her part, Maria is careful never to say it and to only show itwhen it can’t be helped.

Natashaknows it stings, it harshly tugs something inside Maria that she’snever let anyone reach before, she knows she’s leaving claw marks allover Maria’s heart, but she can’t help it; this is the only way sheknows how to be with her.

It’sunfair.

She triesto cut her own claws off. Gives Maria a key to her apartment, keepslemon liquor – she hates it, hates the taste of it, hates the veryidea of it – next to her favorite vodka in her cabinet, she letsMaria leave stuff, bit by bit, until her things are scatteredthorough Natasha’s place, she tries not to hurt her anymore.

Mariadoesn’t seem overly concerned. She never asks Natasha to love herback, to hold her hand or stupid stuff like that, to tell theirfriends they’ve been seeing each other for months, for over a year atthis point.

She letsNatasha take, take, take, up until the day Natasha starts giving.Giving her a key, space, liquor, giving her anything she can think ofgiving Maria so she can be as content as Natasha feels on the nightsshe gets to sleep with Maria’s heartbeat under her ear.

One time,Maria mentions wanting to learn how to brew beer and Natasha signsthem up for a class, giving as the only explanation: “Anything youwant, I can get it for you.”

Marialooks at her funny, she knows Natasha means that she can get anythingfor her in lieu of loving her back, but she also knows, Clint is likea brother to her and he once asked her to borrow five bucks andNatasha laughed in his face, insulted capitalism, and left him withan empty stomach and the knowledge she didn’t like to take care ofothers like she didn’t care when others took care of her.

The thingis, Natasha takes care of Maria in every single way she can.

Mariaknows it before her, maybe that’s why she never asks anything of her,she never asks to be loved back.

One day,she just points at Natasha’s chest after she spent an hour cookingMaria’s favorite dish, and tells her: “That thing that makes you dothis kind of stuff, listen to that thing and tell me it’s notscreaming love.”

Natashascoffs, but listens carefully. That thing inside her has no claws,doesn’t hurt, doesn’t take but likes to give. That thing inside her,if she indulges it, will fill up her whole body with its warmth andstrength. That thing has no reason to be there, but it is,nonetheless. Natasha wonders for how long Maria has known Natashaloved her, how long she could hear it from inside her chest, whenNatasha refused to hear it herself.

Natashadidn’t walk inside that grocery shop to kill her, wasn’t there to seta trap. Maria fell into it anyway.

[brandnewdress]

rep room story

Some of you have asked for this, but I’m writing it mostly for my self while it’s still relatively fresh in my mind so I’m putting it under the cut in case you don’t want to see (and i get that ;) ) also... sorry if you’re on mobile... it did get a little long... ANYWAY:

I obviously always wanted to meet Taylor, I mean who wouldn’t right?! but I never ever expected it to happen to me so, while always having SOME hope that you just NEVER KNOW what might happen, I pretty much accepted that I probably never would. (But the funny thing is I read my June horoscope just in case and it said my lucky day will be June 8th....how did they know 👀👀👀)

Now flash forward to Wednesday the 6th of June, I was sitting in my room studying for my exams and eating lunch when I decided to take a break (probably after 5 minutes of work) I checked tumblr and saw that I had a new message, I thought ‘oh someone probably wants me to reblog their post, let’s see’ BUT NO it was taylornation: CONFINDENTIAL MESSAGE I couldn’t believe it?!?!! And I really do mean it when I say I locked my phone, threw it across the room and then dropped to the ground shaking like?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN TAYLOR NATION

I got my phone back and actually read the message but first I checked at least 10 times that that IS actually Taylor nation and not just someone with a very similar looking url trying to murder me. When I realised that it REALLY WAS THEM I replied to their message and pretty much immediately got a call from a New York number. I was still in shock so I don’t even think I sounded excited the Taylor nation lady (I think it was Erica) was like ‘...you okay?’ ANYWAY she told me what I need to do on the day, and asked if I wanted to bring anyone as a plus one (but I thought that it had to be someone sitting next to you so I said no, apparently it doesn’t!) I wrote all of this down on a post it note while she was speaking because I forgot pretty much the entire conversation as soon as it was done 😭

After that I couldn’t possibly do anything. I couldn’t eat I couldn’t study I just sat in my room staring into space for the rest of the day (and pretty much all of the next) so if I fail my exams I’m officially blaming Taylor 😛 I’m a really paranoid person so I couldn’t help but feel like I’d get to the box office and they’d be like ‘uhhh??? you’re not on the list FOOL go away’

Anyway I had some fun making and reblogging ‘which one of you snakes knows they’re meeting Taylor on Friday? 👀’ posts ;) on Friday I left my house at 8:30 to catch my train to Manchester it was departing from platform 13 😭😭😭 I cant even really remember what I did when I got to Manchester but suddenly it was 3:40 and I had to leave my hotel...

I got to the box office a little after 4 and then after a few minutes I got the envelope with my name on it with the rep room pass inside 😭 that’s when it hit me that THE Taylor swift wanted to meet ME?! For WHAT reason?! It said we had to wait until 5:45 and it was only a little after 4 so I sat around...waiting...still pretending (very well) that I’m not about to meet her.

NOW it was time to line up we were behind some gate or something and they put meet and greet wrist bands on our wrists (where else 🙄) and then we had to wait a little longer THEN when they opened the gate thing the rep room entrance was just THERE?!?! it was such a surreal experience the lwymmd throne, the delicate dress! It was all there!!!

And Taylor right behind the curtain 😭 I stood near the back of the queue because I just really wasn’t READY, you know... I could hear her voice and it sounded so different than what you’d expect deeper maybe?

We didn’t have much time with her so after a few minutes it was MY turn. I walked in and as soon as I did she said ‘YOU’RE SO TALL!!! OMG!!!!’ and NOTHING can prepare you for how gorgeous she is in real life I wanted to speak but I just couldn’t so I just looked at her and flailed my arms a little and she looked at me with this huge smile on her face... and then she HUGGED me real tight and she smells amazing and she’s SO warm and soft 😭

I still couldn’t find my words so I stood around for a few more seconds and I didn’t want them to kick me out so I said I LOVE YOU and she said ‘I love you too, you’re so sweet!’ hHahhahh alright Taylor that’s when I said I need to ask her an important question so I said ‘what’s your favourite song on melodrama’ and she said ‘oh...I don’t have one’ and I said ‘but you have to’ and she was like ‘no I don’t...;) you can’t have just one it’s a sonic journey’ and I know she was going to say something else but I had more questions and cut her off with ‘do you like pineapple on pizza’ and she said ‘...I actually don’t... but we don’t need to like the same pizza to get along, alright?’ 😭 and then I kept like reaching out to hug her again but I didn’t want to be weird so I asked her at least twice more if I could hug her and she said ‘OF COURSE you’re so sweet’ SHUT UP TAYLOR😭

That’s when she asked me if she can take a picture with me and I said NO 😂 and she laughed (WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SOUND) anyway she said ‘the flash is REALLY bright like REALLY BRIGHT’ and then she pulled me into another hug she literally pressed her face right up again mine which is why my glasses look like they’re about to fall off my face. Anyway the flash WAS really bright so I said ‘wow that really was bright’ and she said ‘yeah! I warned you!!!!!’ And then it was time for me to go 😩😭 so she called me sweet and cute again I hugged her AGAIN and she said ‘thank you for coming to see me!!!! See you at the show!!!!’

I LOVE HER SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK!!! and the show was absolutely AMAZING she’s brilliant

Anyway June 8th was officially the best day of my life (and I hope none of you read all of this because 😬) Taylor REALLY is trying her best to meet as many of us as possible

[parchmints]

JuLance Day 17 - Hero

Check out my thread on twitter to see all the prompts at once (the tumblr app messes with formatting so I recommend twitter if you’re using mobile)! All prompts connect together to form one overarching story!

First | Previous | Next

day 17/31 - Hero

Set two months into the space road trip

(Gosh this one is REALLY late. Sorry about that. I’m coming down from a super busy week so I was just exhausted and this one was like pulling teeth to write. It’s also un-beta’d so I hope it’s not awful lmao)

PLEASE DON’T TAG AS SH@NCE

Day 17: Hero

Whenever he can, Lance likes to visit Shiro. It’s been two months since Allura recovered his well, soul, from the Black Lion and he’s still not fully healed after being so thoroughly put through the wringer.

And Lance is still swimming with guilt over it. Keith tried to convince him it wasn’t his fault at the very beginning of it all, but Lance never could believe him. The fact that Shiro tried and reached out to Lance when they were on Olkarion haunted him and hasn’t stopped haunting him since. So much pain and suffering on everyone’s part could have been avoided if Lance had just paid a bit more attention.

But he didn’t and that’s just something he’s going to have to live with.

He tries to atone in little ways--he brings Shiro juice pouches when he gets one for himself, he helps put up his tent when they camp on wayward asteroids, and he visits him as he’s resting. Shiro’s been able to move up and about much more recently, but Lance can still see how frustrated he is by his own limitations. The body he’s in isn’t really his own and it’s injured besides, so it’s not what he’s used to.

When Lance visits he always keeps it light--he tells Shiro some stories of home, of his family, and of the Garrison. Shiro’s favorite stories are the ones about how much trouble he always gave Iverson, so Lance tells those the most, eager to hear Shiro’s laughter.

It’s one night after training with Keith that Lance makes such a visit. He comes into Shiro’s tent (a gift from Prince Elmuk) with juice packs in hand. Shiro is laying in his cot, staring at the ceiling when he notices Lance and props himself on his elbow to greet him.

“Hey,” Shiro starts with a friendly smile. “You just get back from training?”

Lance smiles back and hands Shiro a juice pack after he sits up, “Yeah, I’m exhausted.”

“You and Keith keeping it civil?”

“Hey, I’m very civil. Any and all incivility is all on Keith.”

Shiro chuckles at this. “Yeah, you’re never giving Keith a hard time.”

“Ha ha,” Lance says sarcastically as he sits on a crate across from Shiro. “But no, it’s actually been pretty good. I think I’m starting to get the hang of it.”

“That’s great, Lance. I knew you would. You’re a fast learner,” Shiro says with a sincere smile.

Lance’s heart feels light at the praise, but he also feels a natural resistance to it. He’s not a fast learner. If he was, there’s so much he’d be really skilled in and so much he could have prevented.

But denying the compliment isn’t very polite so he smiles and says “Thanks.”

Shiro gives Lance another sincere smile before taking a sip from his juice pack and Lance does the same, letting the tension in his tired body go as they have a moment of peace.

This peace is broken, however, when Shiro asks a sudden question.

“So you and Keith seem to be getting closer?”

The question makes Lance choke on his juice and squeeze the pack so hard that the contents come spraying out like a geyser and get all over Shiro’s hair and clothes.  

“Ah, Lance!” Shiro says as he wipes some juice from his cheek, clearly annoyed.

Panicking, Lance jumps up and feverishly looks around for a towel or anything he can find to pick up the mess. He has a stroke of luck when he sees a towel flowing over one of the nearby crates and he scrambles to grab it.

Way to go, Lance! Just do whatever you can to make your hero fed up with you! That’s just great! He thinks, bringing the towel back to Shiro.

Lance immediately puts a knee on the cot and brings the towel to Shiro’s head, then tousles it, “Sorry, Shiro! I’m really sorry!”

“Lance--”

Lance moves on to wipe away some of the juice away from his shirt.

“I didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry you just surprised me. I--”

“Lance, Listen--”

“Should be more careful, but I’ve been really clumsy lately--”

“Hey--”

“I’m sorry. I know you have so much on your mind right now and this is the last thing you need--”

“Lance!” Shiro says, voice commanding and it makes Lance stop in his tracks to gape at him.

God, you really stepped in it this time, he thinks.

“I’m sorry,” Lance repeats, slumping down to sit on the cot.

Shiro stares at Lance for a good, long second, his eyebrows knit in confusion. “It’s fine. It’s really not a big deal, but Lance, are you okay?”

“I--yeah, I just--I’m--” Lance stutters and something snaps within him. Nonsensically, his eyes begin to water as he looks at his lap. “I’m so sorry, Shiro. I’m really, really sorry.”

He hears his voice crack on the word and his face heats in embarrassment and mortification. The absolute last thing Lance would ever want to do is cry--for seemingly no reason--in front of Takashi Shirogane.

“What are you sorry for?” Shiro asks and Lance can tell he knows it’s not about the juice.

Lance feels a fat tear roll down his cheek and he just knows he’s going to divulge all, that he finally has to say what he’s been meaning to for two months.  

“I don’t know if you remember, but when we were on Olkarion last, we were all in the astral plane together, but you weren’t there at first, but then you were, and you called out to me. Just me. You tried to tell me you were the astral plane, Shiro and when I asked you--well not you, but the other guy, he just said he didn’t remember. And I always felt weird about it, I always knew something wasn’t quite right about the whole thing, but I didn’t do anything. I...you were in the astral plane for so long and I could have helped you, but I didn’t and I’m so, so sorry.”

The words tumble out Lance like a mudslide, unrestrained and constant, and more hot tears are sliding down his cheeks as he continues to speak. He keeps his head down, too afraid to see what kind of face Shiro is wearing--is he upset? Angry? Disappointed? Lance doesn’t want to know, but he had to apologize to him. He’s wanted to for the better part of two months, but now that it’s here, he realizes it’s possible that he might lose Shiro forever. This could be the final straw that makes Shiro never even want to look at Lance again.

“Lance. Lance, look at me,” Shiro starts and Lance is startled to find that it sounds almost gentle. He slowly lifts his head to meet Shiro’s eyes and when Lance sees his face, it’s not contorted with anger, but soft with concern. “Have you just been sitting with this for two months?”

“I--I dunno. I guess...I--yeah, since Keith told us what happened.”

Shiro’s eyebrows raise to his hairline before they slope into sympathetic arcs.

“Look, I need you to listen to me, okay? Everything that happened to me was not your fault and I’ve never once thought it was.”

“But--”

“No ‘but’s. I do remember that moment on Olkarion, Lance. I remember because I fought tooth and nail just to reach out to someone for those few seconds. It was like trying to call out to someone through a wall of wet cement, but I got through to someone. I got through to you.”

“But why does it matter? I didn’t do anything.”

“But you did. You heard me and that was like a miracle. You have no idea how much it meant to me that I got through to you. Sure, I wasn’t able to relay my entire message to you, but it gave me hope. Because of you, I knew it was possible to reach the other side. I knew that I had a fighting chance because you were listening.”

Lance shakes his head, his head a jumbled mess after learning all this new information and he still looks for a way to blame himself.

“But Keith was the one who reached you. Keith--”

“Keith was only able to get through to me because he was in the Black Lion. Keith and the Black Lion’s quintessence were intertwined which meant Keith and I’s quintessence were intertwined. We had a direct link, so it’s not fair to compare yourself. I reached out to everyone that day, Lance and you were the only one who heard me. That wasn’t small. That was a testament to how in tune you are with the team. That’s why when Keith told me he wanted you to be his second, I told him it was a great idea.”

Lance stares at Shiro dumbstruck, still barely able to process Shiro’s confession, and wipes away at his eyes. “You-you did?”

“Absolutely. Keith told me about what happened when I first disappeared and I have some vague memories left over from this body, and--from what I can tell--you really stepped up. You’re always thinking of what’s best for the team and that’s gonna make you a great leader. I’m really proud of you,” Shiro says, placing his hand on Lance’s shoulder and giving him a soft smile.

“You are?”

“Of course I am. You’re a hero, Lance.”

And that’s too much for Lance. He starts crying again and he covers his eyes with the length of his palm when he feels a strong arm cross behind his back and crush him into a hug.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Shiro says kindly.

Lance, face wet with tears, smiles and returns the hug.

“Thanks for telling me now.”

[claroquequiza]

well i guess i have to unstan you now have a good day pluto-hater

that last ask was a joke just to clarify ill still stan you - from the plutolover

LOOOL, I suspected as much, but I was going to marvel that my second-ever piece of anon hate (and I’ve been on Tumblr since 2012!) was from being a Pluto-hater–I have been extraordinarily lucky when it comes to internet hate.

But let me clarify my position a little anyway. I don’t mean to hate on Pluto–it’s an amazing place, and I was as excited as anyone when New Horizons flew by–but its planetary status was due almost entirely to a series of accidents!

It’s a long complicated story, though, so it’s under a read-more. RIP, mobile users!

First and foremost: Planet X. Most people know that Pluto was first discovered during the hunt for a mysterious Planet X that was supposedly tugging on Neptune. Neptune itself was discovered because after astronomers found Uranus and computed its orbit, after a few years Uranus was in the wrong place! Alexis Bouvard concluded another unseen planet was affecting Uranus, and Urbain Le Verrier calculated where it must be, and Johann Galle found Neptune right where he said it was.

So when Neptune seemed to be doing the same thing, it was natural to suspect yet another planet.

As the story goes, they looked for Planet X, found Pluto, and though it turned out to be too small to be Planet X, it was accepted into the planetary club.

But what most people don’t know is that when Pluto was first discovered, they guesstimated its size based on how big they thought Planet X should be. They basically said, “So, for it to affect Neptune it must have seven times the mass of the Earth. So that’s how big it is.” So for a year or so, they thought Pluto was at least seven times the mass of Earth.

And it’s been downhill ever since.

A year later, even the most powerful telescopes couldn’t see Pluto as a disk–thus it couldn’t be so big because it always appeared like a starlike point. Even if Pluto was exceptionally dark-colored (and they thought it was exceptionally dark for decades to explain why they couldn’t see much of it), it couldn’t possibly be seven times the size of Earth. So they downgraded Pluto to “only” the size of Earth. This already made it doubtful that it was Planet X, but it was still a planet, right? And it remained “Earth-sized” for seventeen years. 

By then better telescopes still couldn’t see it very well, so it couldn’t be bigger than Mars.

But! Still a planet!

And this is saying nothing of its orbit, which people knew was weird almost as soon as they discovered it. No planet is inclined more than 6º from the Earth’s orbit, but Pluto’s is inclined 17º, which means we should never have spotted it! Or at least, should not have spotted it for a few decades. They expected to find Planet X close to the same angle as Earth’s orbit (the ecliptic), and they happened to find Pluto right when it was crossing it, which happens only twice every 248 years on opposite sides of its orbit! If it had been anywhere else, it would have been too high above or too low beneath the ecliptic to be found, and indeed, they have pictures of Pluto from 1907, twenty-three years before it was discovered, that weren’t recognized as a planet because that’s not where planets are.

But hey! Mars is definitely a planet, so Pluto was, too, and Pluto was the size of Mars for another twenty-eight years.

And then.

With even better telescopes they finally worked out that Pluto is covered in methane ice, and methane ice is super, super bright because it reflects almost all the light that hits it. For all that time Pluto had to be dark to be so “big” yet so hard to see, but as it turns out it was actually exceptionally bright–and if it was exceptionally bright yet still so hard to see, it had to be small. Super small. Only 1/100 the mass of Earth at most, which is one-fifth that of Mercury. Pluto was suddenly the smallest planet in the Solar System by a wide, wide margin.

And then it turns out it was actually more than four times smaller than that.

They discovered Charon, Pluto’s biggest moon, and so it turns out that around a quarter of the light that astronomers thought was coming from Pluto alone was actually coming from Charon. Whoops! So it’s altogether 1/459 the mass of Earth, about one-twentieth of Mercury. Super, super, super small.

But Hey! Still A Planet! This Definitely Isn’t Another Ceres!

What is Ceres, you ask? Ceres was the original eighth planet! Discovered in 1801, it was found because people thought there was a pattern to the planets’ orbits which was interrupted by a void between Mars and Jupiter. In reality they were completely wrong, but since it made people point their telescopes in that region, they soon found Ceres, a small, starlike point that nevertheless orbited the Sun, and since it orbited the sun it was proclaimed a planet even though it was so small it had no disk and its orbit was a little weird–inclined by 10° to the ecliptic.

Sound familiar?

After Ceres was discovered, more “planets” followed that orbited in the same region: Pallas, Juno, Vesta, then dozens, thousands, and tens of thousands more. Before it became more a dozen, though, it was recognized that these objects were different because they were small, they often had high inclinations to the ecliptic, and there were tons of them, so they were renamed asteroids, which turned out to be a good thing because if asteroids were still planets then there would be more than a million planets in the Solar System.

But that doesn’t concern Pluto. Yeah, it was small, but it’s fourteen times bigger than Ceres, and while it wasn’t anything like the other eight planets, at least it was the only one of its kind, right?

Right?

Enter Mike Brown, @plutokiller on Twitter. With telescopes getting better and better, he and his team felt it was time to start searching the so-called “Kuiper Belt”, a region of space full of small, icy worlds. Pluto’s discovery actually kicked off the theories that the Kuiper Belt might exist, and the idea was further refined as the decades passed until it seemed likely that a) the Kuiper Belt almost definitely existed and b) it was likely larger and had way more stuff in it than the asteroid belt. In 1992 the first Kuiper Belt object since Pluto was discovered, 15760 Albion, which is a tiny chunk of ice just a little bit further out than Pluto, though much smaller.

But it meant Pluto wasn’t alone.

And it meant that telescopes were finally good enough to find more.

And Mike Brown and his team were determined to find them. Their unofficial goal was to find an object bigger than Pluto–if the Kuiper Belt had so much stuff in it, then it was possible and even likely. And they found dozens of objects out there, ranging in size from a hundred kilometers across to bigger than Ceres.

So as it turns out, there’s tons of stuff out there. If Pluto hadn’t been accidentally discovered by the search for Planet X, there’s no guarantee that it would have been the first Kuiper Belt object discovered. It still might have been–Pluto is the biggest Kuiper Belt object we know of, even if it’s only the second-most massive.

The most massive is, of course, Eris, the little almost-planet that killed Pluto.

When Mike Brown and his team first discovered it, predictably they thought it was bigger than it really was–bigger than Pluto. You can’t blame them though–it’s twice as far as Pluto most of the time, and it turns out it’s only a little bit smaller than Pluto–only fifty kilometers’ difference. But that wasn’t the point, really. The point is that there was lots of stuff out there, and some of it was as big as Pluto. As telescopes get even better, we’re likely to find more objects around the size of Eris and Pluto–maybe even dozens, the same way we discovered dozens more asteroids.

So Pluto wasn’t big and it wasn’t unique. It has more in common with dozens and likely thousands of small objects orbiting beyond Neptune than with any of the planets.

And speaking of Neptune, in 1989 when Voyager 2 flew past the planet, its mass was recalculated, and it turns out astronomers thought Neptune was hiding an extra Mars-sized bit of mass that wasn’t there.

So as it turns out that Neptune’s orbit is exactly as it should be, so the hunt for Planet X should never have taken place, so Pluto should not have been discovered decades ahead of schedule right when it was crossing the ecliptic where real planets are, and it should not have been overestimated for half-a-century based on the fictional planet’s non-existent characteristics, and it should not have been considered unique for another two decades after that.

But it was.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So that’s my long-winded explanation of my unpopular opinion. This isn’t to say that you should stop loving Pluto–it’s an absolutely fascinating world, and New Horizons revealed a surprising active and ever-changing surface, so if anything Pluto not being unique means the Kuiper Belt and beyond is an exciting place with tons of neat surprises in store–

–but Pluto the planet was a series of mistakes that were finally corrected by the IAU.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[folklorecostumes]

REPUTATION LYRIC INSPIRED TOUR OUTFITS AND POSTERS PART 2

A lot of these posters are pictured in either giant bubble letters, rep font or in calligraphy. Can’t do any of these? Download the rep font or font you wish to use, type up what you want in a big enough font size, print, cut, and trace, or glue them down up to you! Of course, write these however you wish!

Hello all! Thanks for waiting so patiently for this list! Because of how long it is and how very excited you all have been waiting for this we have decided to post it into 2 parts to keep the excitement going. Part 1 is linked below! Please enjoy all the ideas we listed below, feel free to send us others you may have and want to share with the swiftie world. We apologize if the formatting on this looks bad on mobile, we are trying to actively make it easily accessible and readable across all platforms!

And lastly, enjoy and tag us in these recreations! We want to see them! We want to help them get seen by Taylor!

Find the Reputation Part 1 list here.

Find the 1989 idea list here and here.

Find the Red idea list here.

Find more costume and poster ideas and tips here.

lovelovelove,

- Reputation Costumes.

GORGEOUS:  

1.  “Gorgeous” – Few options:

      → Draw/or print the baby emoji onto a poster with a speech bubble saying the word gorgeous.

      →  Poster spelling out gorgeous between you and your friends.

      →  One poster with the word gorgeous on it. This song really sounds very bubblegum-y pop so pink and glitter and fluff and flowers can be associated with this. Keep that in mind when designing your poster.

     →  Create your own gorgeous inspired Taylor merch. Get an idea based on how her current merch looks and design a shirt similar but instead of saying like “rep” everywhere it’ll say gorgeous.

2. “Made fun of the way you talk” – Poster with a multiple taymojis of Taylor with speech bubbles including all the extra hashtags, replies, reblogs Taylor’s ever used or said. This includes (find more on tumblr or I’m sure there are screenshots of these all somewhere since she like cleared her tumblr):

     →  Mom-croon

     →  Bae

     →  Emojis

     →  “I think for me, um…”

     →  Pop Tart Squad 4 Lyfe

     →  Can’t find my chill ever

     →  Shifty Swifty Strikes Again

     →  No it’s Becky

     →  Brb going to buy more cats now

     →  Merstare

     →   I stalk because I care

     →  They see me lurkin…They hatin…

     →  Welcome to moo York

3. “Magnetic field being a little too strong” – Glue magnets onto a shirt and create a poster cut into the shape of a giant U-shaped magnet with that lyric written in it.

4. “Whiskey on ice” – Poster of a tumbler filled with whiskey and ice. The lyrics can be written into the ice cubes.

5.  “Sunset and Vine” – Few options:

      →  One person dresses up as a sunset, see the idea above for the “grey days clear” lyric in So It Goes…

      →  Another person dresses up similar to Poison Ivy from DC Comics or one of the other poison/vine related looks listed above for Don’t Blame Me.

      →  Poster with a map street view with a pin at the intersections of Sunset and Vine.

      →  Dress like you’re favorite vine!

      →  Poster cut out to look like a vine video post, you can take pictures with it as if you’re in the vine. Have the caption of the vine video be a cute lyric from the rep album!

6. “You’re so gorgeous, I can’t say anything to your face” – 2 options:

      →  Wear a morph suit or shirt consisting of only Taylor’s face over and over—can be where she’s making a funny/weird face or can be just a normal shot of her face. Have a poster saying “you’re so gorgeous” to go along with this.

      →  You and a friend can have two posters, one that says, “You’re so gorgeous, I can’t say anything to your” and have an arrow pointing over to your friend. Their poster will be a giant cut out of Taylor’s head.

7. “Cause you’re so gorgeous it actually hurts” – Poster saying Taylors so gorgeous it actually hurts. Can have a friend hold one that says “(Honey, it hurts)” or you can write that underneath the main lyric in the ( ).

8. “Ocean blue eyes looking in mine” – Poster of eyes, draw them big enough where you could draw waves of water where you’d shade it blue for eye color.

9. “There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have” – Typically we don’t recommend this simply because it canget fans overlooked, however it’s funny and cute so here it is: Write this lyric with “(t-party, club red, loft 89)” underneath in a small font, cross them out like that too since we won’t know the name of the after party show!

10.  “Guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats” – Buy 2 cheap plush cats, maybe at a local dollar store, glue the heads of it onto a poster (or cut holes into the poster and stick the stuffies through, make sure they’ll stay all night though) and write the lyrics. Draw paw prints along the poster. Could pair with cat shirts and cat accessories. Could also glue multiple mini plush cats to an outfit and pair with a poster cut into the shape of a paw print. @taylortreasures has created an outfit similar to this!

GETAWAY CAR:

1. “Best of times, worst of crimes” – Set of posters for you and a friend to match with.

       →  Times poster could consist of multiple watches/clocks drawn throughout the words

      →  While crimes poster could have things like handcuffs, stolen money bags, cars all drawn throughout it. Turn these poster ideas into two unique outfits!

2. “Struck a match and blew your mind” – Set of posters:

      →  Poster in the same of a match with a flame.

      →  Poster drawing out the words “mind blown” in pink. See link to get a good idea, don’t draw the bitmoji.

3. “Ties were black, lies were white” – Dress up fancy for this! Think Blank Space video but before the outfits get torn up! Poster can read, one a white poster board, “lies were” and then leaving the rest blank. Could write “white” in glow in the dark paint/tape that would only show after the lights go off.

4. “X marks the spot where we fell apart” – 2 options:

     →  Treasure map idea, see End Game “bury hatchets” idea!

     →  Write out your stadium(s) name and draw a giant red X over it and write  “where we fell apart” underneath.

5. “From the first Old Fashioned” – 2 options:

      →  Dress old fashioned—so like pick a decade and go with it! May we recommend the 80s ;)

      →  Poster in the shape of a tumbler that appears to be filled with an “old fashioned”, be sure to include the small details like a lemon rime/wedge and a cherry!

6. “Never had a shot gun shot in the dark” – Poster of the night sky with cutout bullet holes in it. Write the lyric out in mini glow in the dark stars to stand out!

7. “Drivin’ the getaway car” – Few options:

      →  Poster in the shape of a car. Think of a 1969 Camaro or another vintage car that’s often seen in movies involving getaway cars. The lyrics from the chorus can look like its spray painted on the side of the car or front depending on how you face it in the poster.

       →  Poster of the front of a car that’s cutout so you can wear it to look like you’re sitting in the car. Could have fake money hanging off the edges to make it look like money is flying out.

        →  Poster with any of the chorus lyrics with a little drawing of a car speeding away with money flying out or drawing of tire tracks on the ground. Perfect for the “we were flyin’ but we never get far”

8. “Don’t pretend it’s such a mystery” – Few options:

        →  Poster of the side of the Scooby doo van with the lyrics above the word Mystery that’s painted onto the van (omit words “the” and “machine”)

        →  Make a Clue game board involving Taylor scenes from videos/tour pics etc and you can even include Olivia in a little detective outfit and a magnifying glass. Have a few game cards flipped over on the board with the lyrics being written across them.

9. “Think about the place where you first met me” – Met Taylor before? Or even some of her band members, dancers, parents, team? Make a poster with any pictures of these events and the lyrics!

10. “Sirens in the beat of your heart” – Draw a heartbeat line emitting from a police car or the red and white lights attached to the top of them (think the portable round ones’ undercover cops would attach to their cars). Put this idea onto a poster. Could even cut out the shape of the red and white siren lights and the heartbeat line and use glow in the dark tape/paint to make it stand out.

11. “The great escape, the prison break” – Dress up as runaway prisoners or thieves on the run! You can make posters in the shape of giant money sacks.

12. “A circus ain’t a love story” – Few options:

       →  WANEGBT tour outfits from Red tour worn by Taylor and dancers!

                  → This includes ring leader, clowns, acrobats, etc

       →  Traditional circus outfits

       →  Love Story, a classic Taylor song! Dress like the music video or past performances of this song.

       →  Romeo + Juliet

13. “Hit you like a shot gun shot to the heart” – Same concept as above, however instead of a night sky poster, have a large cut out heart with bullet holes in it.

14. “We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde” – Dress as the infamous Bonnie and Clyde!

15. “Put the money in a bag and I stole the keys” – Bank robber with a money sack poster. Reference the poster to either show it’s a friend’s (or Taylor’s) money and have novelty keys hanging off the tie of the bag.

16. “I was ridin’/cryin’/dyin’ in a getaway car” – Few options:

      →  Poster using a car emoji, the crying emoji and the skull emoji in the lyrics.

      →  “I was crying to getaway car” pun on you enjoying the song poster

     →  “I was dying to hear getaway car” poster

KING OF MY HEART:

17. “I made up my mind, I’m better of bein’ alone” – Poster saying you’re better off being a swiftie.

18. “We met a few weeks ago.” – Tribute to if you’ve met Taylor/her team/parents/band/dancers/etc on a poster or shirt.

19. “Callin’ me baby like tryin’ on clothes” – Poster board that’s interactive! Make a cut out Taylor (using the IKP outfit from 1989 tour will be the best option to start) and attach multiple tour outfits or appearance outfits she’s worn with double sided tape or some other adhesive and allow fans to try different outfits on Taylor!

20. “Salute to me, I’m your American Queen” – Few options:

         →  Dress up as a Queen/royalty

         →  America/4thof July inspired outfits

         →  Crown and sash/Pageantry. Sash can say “Miss American Queen” You could even have a fake acceptance speech written out on a poster board that says like “And I want to thank Taylor…”

        →  Poster cut out into the shape of a crown.

        →  “you traded your baseball cap for a crown” relate KOMH to Long Live.

        → Poster saying this lyric and have American Queen colored in red, white and blue.

21. “You move to me like I’m a Motown beat” – Motown beats originated in gospel music but also in the 1970s music industry, use these two to inspire decade looks! The 70s were big on disco.

22. “With their range rovers and their jaguars” – 2 options:

       →  Poster in the shape of the range rover or jaguar emblem.

       →  Wear or make merch that looks dawns these brands emblems.

23. “You are the one I have been waiting for” – Poster ideas:

       →   Typically, we don’t recommend this simply because it can get fans overlooked, however it’s fun and cute so here it is: Write this lyric with “(t-party, club red, loft 89)” underneath in a small font, cross them out like that too since we won’t know the name of the after-party show!

       →  Taylor’s the one I have been waiting for on a poster.

24. “King of my heart” – Few ideas:

      →  Giant heart shaped poster with a king’s crown and mini robe attached to it.

     →  Poster using the crown emoji and the heart emoji.

     →  Going with a significant other? Have them dress up as a King (or Queen) and have them hold a fake heart (think the vampire diaries but less gore ha) or hold a cutout heart poster. You can wear heart shaped sunglasses (think heart eyes motherf*cker vine) and shirt with these lyrics and an arrow pointing to your significant other.

     →  Going alone but like the above idea? You can say you have Taylor’s heart or she has yours instead.

25. “I’ve been waiting” – Poster including how many days you counted down for your tour date(s).

26. “Late in the night, the city’s asleep” – Poster using the visual opening for WTNY that showed the landscape of the city at night. Use glow in the dark stars over the skyline and hole punch the lettering when writing out the lyric.

27. “Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep” – 2 ideas:

      →  Make a poster using this lyric and draw out the emotions of hoping, dreaming and dying. Think of the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil sort of imaging.

     →  “Taylor’s love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep”

28. “With a school girl crush” – Dress up as if you’re trying to impress your crush on the first day of school! Have a poster that consist of those passing note questions you’d send your crush but have them addressed to Taylor. (ex. Do you like me? Circle one. Etc)

29. “Drinking beer out of plastic cups” – Red solo cup poster.

30. “Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff” – First fancy in the lyric draw heart and draws in the sentence and the second fancy draw diamond rings, luxury items etc. with a large red X through them.

DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED:

1. “Oh twenty-five years old” – Poster with your age in replace of the 25 lyric.

2. “My love had been frozen” – Few options:

       →  Poster in the shape of a heart that is frosted over and turning blue.

       →  Poster with these lyrics but the word frozen is drawn like the movie poster font for the Disney film.

       →  Winter wonderland type of outfit or poster. Think Snow Queen.

       →  Dress as Elsa, Anna or Olaf.

3. “Deep blue, but you painted me golden” Few options:

      →  Two matching posters saying Deep Blue and Golden painted in the prospective colors.

      →  Matching outfits made from the prospective colors.

      →  “Deep Blue” think the deep sea.

      →  Dress up as a painter.

4. “Picture of your face in an invisible locket” – Make a poster cut out in the shape of a locket, have it folded to open up like an actual locket and have a picture of Taylor in it.

5. “But we were dancing” – Poster with these lyrics, have the dancer emoji drawn on it.

6. “Dancing with our hands tied” –  2 options:

        →  Poster in the shape of a pair of hands tied together.

       →  Poster with these lyrics. Have it split up if you’re going with a group of friends.

7. “Yeah, we were dancing, like it was the first time” – First Taylor show? Make this poster dedicated to seeing Taylor for the first time!

8. “Through an avalanche” – Poster in the shape of a mountain top with the words of the lyrics to appear to be snowballing down the side of mountain.

9. “I’m a mess, but I’m the mess that you wanted” – 2 options:

       →  Dress up like you’re a mess and have a poster to match with the lyrics.

       →  Poster that says you’re the mess Taylor wanted.

      → You’re a mess because of Taylor poster.

9. “Cause its gravity, oh keeping you with me” – Poster with these lyrics but have them begin to fall down and off the poster. Have cut out letters dangle off the poster.

10. “I’d kiss you as the lights went out” - few options:

        →  Poster in the shape of lips painted red. Use red reflective tape to make it stand out.

       →  Poster adorned with miniature red lips all over it. Use glow in the dark tape/paint on the words “lights went out” so it stands out.

       →  Make a cut out poster of the lyrics “lights went out” and fill the letters with glitter, as much as you can. Do a matte finish or laminate it so you can shake it up and have the glitter move around.

11. “If I could dance with you again” – Print out the photo of Taylor performing Holy Ground on the Red Tour, print it large enough that you can make a cutout silhouette of her dancing as a poster. Don’t have the resources to print it big enough? Try your best to sketch the outline! Incorporate the lyrics either into the silhouette or have it as a sort of a halo written around the entire silhouette of her!

DRESS:

1. “Our secret moments in a crowded room” – Poster with the words secret moments being suffocated by a multitude of things such as confetti, glitter, charcoal etc. Have the words pop out of whatever you chose to relate to the sense of a crowded room.

2. “There is an indentation in the shape of you” – Poster cut out into the shape of the indent of a person lying in bed.

3. “Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo.” –  2 options:

        →  Wear those gold jewelry type tattoos people wear to music festivals!

        →  Poster asking Taylor to make her mark on you with her signature.

4. “All this silence and patience, pining and anticipation/pining and desperately waiting” – Few options:

        →  Poster of these 4 adjectives for you and your friends to hold!

       →  Desperately waiting for rep room.

5. “Say my name and everything just stops” – 2 options:

       →  Say my name, Beyonce/Destiny’s Child connection.

        →  Say Taylor’s name and everything just stops.

6. “Only bought this dress so you could take it off” – 2 options:

       →  Poster in the shape of a dress, possibly little black dress since Taylor has referenced those forever.

       →  Make an outfit that you can transform from dress to whatever else you want! Think tear away tour outfit!

7. “Carve your name into my bedpost” – Poster of a headboard with Taylor’s name or initials into it, make it look carved in. Could even carve out lyrics or the word reputation.

8. “And if I get burned, at least we were electrified” – 2 ideas:

       →  Two posters of the words Burned and Electrified. Have burned be made or engulfed in flames and have electrified have lightning bolts striking off of it.

       →  Make the poster idea above into an outfit. Use reflective tape and cut out pieces into the shape of flames or lightning bolts and attach them to the outfits.

9. “I’m spilling wine in the bathtub” – Poster in the shape of a wine glass. Cut it so it’ll be on an angle and have red or rose wine sloshing out of the rim.

10. “Flashback when you met me” – Met Taylor/her team/parents/dancers/band? Make this a tribute to them!

11. “Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me” – Make a poster using headlines about Taylor and have them slashed up and covered with positive memories and headlines and all her success. Have reputation written in the middle of it.

12. “My one and only, my lifeline” – Poster made of these lyrics. Could also say Taylor’s my one and only, my lifeline.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS:

1. “It was so nice throwing big parties” – Posters made to look like balloons, party favors, etc. Think Gatsby and vintage since this is a popular theme in this song.

2. “Everyone swimming in a champagne sea” – Make a poster in the shape of a giant champagne bottle and have confetti looking like its pouring out of it.

3. “Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year” – 2 options:

       →  Dress vintage and 1920s Gatsby like.

       →  Use the Great Gatsby font and make a poster using these lyrics.

4. “So why’d you have to rain on my parade” – Make an outfit that looks like you’re a part of a parade celebration and hold a poster in the shape of a rain cloud with raindrops dangling from it. Use reflective or glow in the dark tape for the rain drops to stand out.

5. “This is why we can’t have nice things” – Poster of these lyrics but instead of the word nice, replace with drawn items or emojis of things like rings, money, designer brand labels.

6. “But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand” – 2 options:

       →  Related to back to Bad Blood, check out our 1989 costumes post to get some ideas.

       →  Where a fake knife attached to the back of your shirt, you can find these sort of props at a Halloween/gag store or at like Party City.

7. “Get you on the phone and mind-twist you” – Cut out of an old fashion rotary phone and have a speech bubble coming out of the speaker portion of the phone to make it look like the person on the other line is saying “mind-twist you”

8. “So I took and axe to a mended fence” – 2 options:

     →  Could recreate a blank space music video or tour look

     →  Poster in the shape of an axe.

9. “If only you weren’t so shady” – Poster in the shape of sunglasses with these lyrics reflected into the frames.

10. “Here’s a toast to my real friends” – 2 options:

    →  Poster with these lyrics and champagne glasses clinking drawn throughout

    →  Poster in the shape of a champagne glass clinking with another, could even make two (or more) separate ones for you and your friends to match.

11. “He-said-she-said” – few options:

    → He said she said is typically hearsay/rumors, so you could dress up as a news reporter.

    →  Using the NYT’s font aka reputation font as a background/filter for the lyrics in a poster. Think of how it looks on the right ride (Taylor’s left) on the album cover.

    →  Poster of a fake headline regarding Taylor. Could recreate the back of the reputation magazine covers. Have the headline be the lyric.

12. “Here’s to my baby” – Poster idea. Do what you think works best with this as it’s a very simple line.

13. “Here’s to my momma” – Poster dedicated to Mama Swift.

14. “Had to listen to all this drama” – Drama poster, it’d be a cool idea if you bought all those crappy tabloids and sort of papier-mâché the word out of all the headlines revolving around drama.

15. “Because you break them” – 2 options:

    →  Poster cutout of a broken fancy item. Could be a broken award, broken watch, etc anything fancy that you deem making.

    →  Make an outfit out of the idea above, wear broke items glued to you.

CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT:

1. “My castle crumbled overnight” – Poster in the shape of a castle, could have pieces hanging off or broken to represent it crumbling. You could also dress up as a princess/prince.

2. “I bought a knifer to a gunfight” – 2 options:

   →  Foam knife/sword accessory

   →  Poster of the knife emoji

3. “They took the crown” – Crown shaped poster or plastic crown to wear!

4. “My baby’s fit like a daydream” – Few options:

    →  Fit is British slang for attractive or good looking. Make a pun of the word fit and have a poster that looks like a guys six-pack abs.

   →  Poster in the shape of a thought bubble with the lyrics “my baby’s fit” could even use all or some emojis in replace of the words.

   →  Could dress up as a sort of fairy/daydream-y/soft type of persona. So wings, pastel colors, definitely having jewels glued around your eyes and such! Have fun with this look, for makeup lookup festival looks or mermaid looks to get an idea.

5. “I’m the one he’s walking to” – Poster replacing the lyric “he’s” for “Taylor’s. Could have foot tracks painted around the lyrics or even use high heel cutouts from magazines and catalogs rather than painting foot tracks.

6. “Call it what you want” – Paint this in a pretty pastel color in a calligraphy font. Have the background of the poster have a soft feel to it, like cloud and starry like. Could even make a 3D type poster and have plush either as the background or as the letting.

7. “My baby’s fly like a jet stream” Few options:

    →  Poster in the shape of a plane/jet with these lyrics behind the plane in a loop. Think of how planes on maps so dashes to track their paths.

    →  “Taylor’s fly like a jet stream”

    →  Couples costume of a pilot and attendant.

8. “High above the whole scene” – 2 options:

    → Poster of a skyline. Can be whatever city skyline you’d like, maybe even emphasis in the building windows/lights which city; it’d be cool to reference your tour stop! Have the poster cut out to mimic the buildings rather than drawing in a sky.

    →  Could make a poster of a bird since they fly above the scene, as well as planes like referenced above. Could relate this back to 1989!

9. “Loves me like I’m brand new” – Few options:

     →  Not necessarily tour outfit related but don’t want to dress up? Simply buy a nice outfit and only where it the day of the show! It’s brand new. Could even be Taylor merch.

    →  Poster of a giant price tag that has Love written as the amount. The product into written on the tag could say like Taylor Swift. Size: Reputation Stadium Tour

    →  Taylor loves me like I’m brand new.

    →  Poster of a new package or wrapped gift with the tag saying “love you – (name or xoxo)”

10. “All my flowers grew back as thorns” – 2 options:

    → 3D poster of like a thorn-bush or vine type thorn with only a few flowers still left on it. Have the lyrics written or painted out in a deep green cursive font, intertwining with the thorns.

     →  Buy or make a skirt and attach fake flowers to the entire skirt so it is covered. Buy or make a top and attach plastic “thorns” or vines around the top and have them hang off of it so it looks like they are slowly taking over the flowers. Have the top be very dull and lackluster in color but have what is remaining on the skirt be full of color.

11. “Windows boarded up after the storm” – Poster of a broken windowsill with boards covering up the cracked window. You could even make the boards openable like a book so that when you appeared into the window you could see the fire that is referenced in the next line. Have caution tape covering the planks but have the lyrics written repeatedly over the caution tape.

12. “He built a fire just to keep me warm” -  See idea above OR make a poster in the shape of the flame emoji or a log campfire.

13. “All the drama queens taking swings” – Dress up as a baseball or softball player and have your team name be Drama Queens. Make a baseball bat poster with the word reputation on it.

14. “All the jokers dressing up as kings” – Dress up as a joker/clown/fool but masquerade as a king so also were a crown and possible a cape. Make a sign that says “King of Reputation” or that displays the lyric.

15. “They fade to nothing when I look at him” – 2 options:

     →  Poster with these lyrics where it looks like the words are fading off the poster. Use glow in the dark paint/tape to have it still show after the lights go down.

    → They fade to nothing when I look at Taylor.

16. “I did one thing right” – Poster that says Swiftie or Proud swiftie, meant to represent you made the right choice in being a fan of Taylor.

17. “I’m laughing with my lover, makin’ forts under covers” -  Make a poster that is drawn like a bed fort, so multitude of different blanket patterns etc and attach a speech bubble to the top of the poster to show either “hahahaha” or “* giggling *”“* laughing *” to make it look like there’s laughing underneath the sheets.

18. “Starry eyes sparkin’ up my darkest night” – few options:

     →  Dress up in a costume that is galaxy themed. So tons of stars, especially glow in the dark ones, have glitter, moons, a tutu and have it all be in a navy blue. Your matching poster can be in the shape of a shooting star with the lyrics “Sparkin’ up my darkest night.” Use reflective tape or glow in the dark paint to stand out!

    →  Poster cut out of eyes and have the galaxy drawn in them rather than simply coloring in a regular eye color.

   →  Could have a lit match or sparkler shaped poster.

19. “I want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck” – Make a poster of Taylor’s initial’s and wear them like a necklace. Think back to when flavor flav wore a giant watch.

20. “Late November” – Poster of this exact lyric but have it big enough where you can decorate inside the words and have it fall themed.

21. “Would you run away with me? (Yes)” – Make a poster asking Taylor if she’d run away with you. Have it set up like a check yes or no question and have a paw print or 13 stamped in the yes box.

NEW YEAR’S DAY:

1. “There’s glitter on the on the floor after the party” – Few options:

     →  Glitter, glitter glitter! Wear sparkly outfits (think NYE) and have body glitter all over you. Have fun and extra glittery makeup looks and have a poster of these lyrics written out in glittery puffy paint.

    →  Have a poster made that looks like you’re staring down at hardwood floor and have a spilled glitter container open, glitter all over the bottom of the floor with the lyrics written out (think written out as if someone took their finger and just wrote it out in the pile).

     →  “After the party” – reference the end of your show with this, rep room.

     →  “There’s swifties on the floor after the party(concert)”

2. “Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby” – Poster cut out and drawn to look like you’re carrying a pair of high heels. Look at some of the heels Taylor’s worn for previous tours and outfits and recreate them on a poster.

3. “Candle wax and polaroids on the hardwood floor” – Few options:

     →  Burning candle poster, could be a simple candle, could be in a jar like the ones she uses frequently, or it could be decorated with things that remind you of Taylor and Reputation.

    →  Polaroid poster (1989).

    →  Poster of burned out candles and dried wax on the floor (look up the candles Taylor loves to have in her home and create the logo for the posters) and polaroids scattered on a hardwood floor (reference the opening lyric idea to get how to picture this.) Have the polaroids be pictures from the reputation magazine.

4. “Don’t read the last page” – Poster of the opening/dedication page of a book with this lyric written in it. Either make it look like the author purposely wrote it, OR have all the prewritten info from said book be information about Taylor and the reputation tour and use her handwriting from 1989 and have it look like she handwrote “don’t read the last page” as a note to the next reader. Make it look three dimensional by having the page look like it’s about to be turned to the next.

5. “But I stay” – Make a poster of these lyrics but make it big enough that you are able to write inside of each individual letter. Write the speech Taylor gave about how she felt her hands were tied behind her back but swifties always defended her (it’s a clean speech). Could even write long live lyrics.

6. “I want your midnights” – 2 options:

     →  An analog clock striking midnight

    →  Or a digital clock (think the old digital though where the numbers physically flipped rather than it being just animated) and have the numbers look like they’re changing from 11:59PM to 12:00AM.

7. “But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you” – Poster of a recycling bin that is piling up with empty champagne and wine bottles. Have all the labels on the bottles be song titles or lyrics!

8. “New Year’s Day” – Few options:

     →  Dress up like its NYE/NYD. This means glitter, 2018 hats and glasses, champagne, confetti and streamers, dresses or skirts and crop tops. It also means holidays, so you could reference a few other things as well with this.

     →  Poster drawn out of the NYE ball dropping. On the countdown screen you could either write the lyric (full or just NYD) or you can write how long you waited for your show.

     →  Simply just sketching out the words New Year’s Day however you may want.

     →  Midnight kiss, so a poster of lips.

     →  “Ring” in the new year. Could be a poster of a bell or a ring.

9. “in the back of the taxi” – Dress up like a taxi or make a poster of the backside of a taxi with the silhouette of two people sitting in it. Have the license plate reference reputation or swifties. Be sure it’s a NY plate.

10. “I’ll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe” – Few options:

     →  Could do a large poster that looks like a champagne glass with a tag/ribbon hanging off the stem (think like seating cards) that says Toast of the Town.

    →  An award poster (like an Oscar or such) but instead of it saying Best Picture etc it’ll say “Toast of the Town: (name)” You can either write your name or Taylor’s name or even Joe’s.

    →  Poster of a cut out magazine cover you can take photos in (or make it look like an Instagram post) and have the little blurb on the “cover” say this lyric. Make the magazine a reference to the rep mags.

11. “If you strike out and you’re crawling home” – Baseball or softball player costume with a poster in the shape of a bat. Could even have two posters for you and a matching friend where the bat is broken in half and you’re each holding a split end.

12. “Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you” – Few options:

     →  Reference long live. Whether it’s by poster or you want to recreate the long live tour outfit!

     →  Poster of the word memories but have it being spelled out by photos from previous tours, Taylor with fans, from previous album booklets. Tumblr likes/posts, etc.

    →  Met Taylor/her team/band/dancers/parents/etc? Wear an outfit or make a poster using pictures and memories from that moment.

    →  Poster of the word memories being hugged/squeezed. Don’t have to draw the entire body, just arms wrapping around the word.

     →  Have a poster in the shape of a jar and have it labeled Memories and then fill it with your favorite Taylor memories. So love the Speak Now album? Write the words Speak Now in big block/bubble letters in the jar. Keep doing this with words of memories you like. Don’t have the words overlap, simply cut off a word if it doesn’t fit. Make it seem full but not unreadable.

13. “And I will hold on to you” – Poster of this lyric just as is. Maybe make it written on a music sheet or on piano keys. Could also write Taylor will hold on to you or I will hold on to Taylor.

14. “Please don’t ever become a stranger” – Poster dedicated to her 6 albums.

15. “Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” – Poster collage of all the photos of Taylor laughing.

16. “You and me forevermore” – Poster of the word forevermore. When I hear this line, I think of a clear night sky, glitter, love, passion so incorporate that into this creation. Maybe have it made out of stars or hearts, or have it made out of flowers. Whatever you envision when you hear this.

THEMES OR GENERAL IDEAS:

1. Make poster that looks like the popup stage in the reputation VIP tour box, make it out of papier-mâché newspapers.

2. Snake poster.

3. Use the dialogue from the LWYMMD end scene as funny posters.

4. Meredith and Olivia posters.

5. Reputation/REP poster cut out using the rep font.

6. “There will be no further explanation. There will be just reputation”

7. Lots of gold and metallic colors, glitter.

8. TS/TAS Initial Poster

WHY SHE DISAPPEARED POEM:

1. “Pavement she once decorated as a child with sidewalk cross” – Poster that looks like a sidewalk drawing.

2. “Her skin was spattered with ink” – Use body paint to spatter ink on your arms and clothes. Make a poster using the same idea. Maybe use the word snake in some of the spatters.

3. “She rose slowly” – Poster of a flower slowly blooming.

4. “Avoiding old haunts and sidestepping shiny pennies” – 2 options:

      →  Poster of a ghost (think emoji)

     →  Poster of a penny or writing out this piece of the poem using pennies (or drawing them if you don’t want to waste the money)

5. “Way of phone calls and promises” – Relate this back to All Too Well or LWYMMD. Have a phone poster with a speech bubble writing this line.

6. “Waded out into the dark, wild ocean up to her neck” – The ocean is almost all unexplored so have fun with this line. You could do mythical mermaids or sirens. Or you could make an outfit out of seashells and seaweed. Your poster could be a cutout of a wave.

7. “And in the death of her reputation, she felt truly alive” – This is a GREAT quote for a poster and to really sum up the entire reputation era.

IF YOU’RE ANYTHING LIKE ME POEM:

1. “Cross your fingers” -  Poster of crossed fingers.

2. “Wish on lucky numbers” – Poster of a number cutout related to Taylor. (13, 22, 1989)

3. “Rest in Peace, to your naïve bravado” – 2 options:

     →   Poster of a gravestone addressed to your naïve bravado.

     →  Dress up as a zombie (zombie Taylor) and where a tombstone or have written on shirt “Here Lies my Naïve Bravado”

4. “Secret garden gate” – Poster of a flower garden. Have it three dimensional so use craft flowers.

5. “Each new enemy turns to steel” – This line reminds me so much of Yellow Flicker Beat by Lorde in the line “I’m locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me” Maybe make a poster combining these two ideas.

6. “You’ve grown to hate your pride and to love your thighs”

7. “But Darling, it’s going to be okay”

[17mounteens]

Hi! Sorry to bother like this but i thought i should let you know^^ the masterlist looks a little weird on mobile¿ like it's all squeezed together

Hi, and thank you! No worries about bothering us, that’s not the case at all. ☺️ However, we are aware of this and it’s all Tumblr to blame. They’ve completely screwed up (from out point of view) our kind of post formatting on mobile, and we’ve got yet to figure out how to do our posts - scenarios and masterlists alike - so that they’d look good both on PC and mobile.

The changes this lovely website has made are

lines that are written closely together (aka not just by pressing enter, but shift+enter, which we do with lists such as masterlists to save some space) appear squeezed together like our masterlists 🙂

we tend to use the blockquote for eg. writing the original request, as well as an “indent” of a kind in the masterlists

tumblr has made that so that the blockquote makes the font big and completely different from the general font

we?? have lost our horizontal lines?? which are great for separating parts of a post?? 

So… all our key features have been changed so that they really don’t work for ut… but we’ll see what to do, we might change the masterlists either so that they’re a bullet point list, or alternatively everything will be numbered. 😅 

For the time being, sorry for the inconvenience, it’s just tumblr doing its amazing new changes ;; we’ll try to find a new way to do things when we can! 💕

Admin Scooter

[leon-thot-kennedy]

Wrote this thing for my bab’s bday. Hope you guys like it too (spacing may be weird, doing this on mobile!)

    It was slow at the Cow Chop HQ. Everyone was out enjoying the beautiful, and for once not insanely hot weather LA had to offer. Well except Aleks, of course. He’d stopped by the building, bored out of his skull and looking for something to do. The blond opened the door, looking around for something or someone to appease his growing boredom. He could hear loud talking coming from somewhere, and followed the stern sounding voice to the office Brett used whenever he popped in. Aleks opened the door, and cocked an eyebrow, not exactly hating what he was seeing.

Brett stood with his back to the wall, talking loud and angrily to someone on the phone. His posture was tense, and Aleks found his eyes wandering down the man’s body, straying at the muscled ass and toned calves. Aleks would never have normally considered it, but damn did Brett look good. “Damn dude, dad as fuck” he whispered, immediately feeling ashamed. Damn tumblr. But they weren’t wrong. Brett was the dad of their little group, and he could see where the fangirls and boys would say something like that. Aleks shook his head, clearing his throat just loudly enough for Brett to hear. The other man spun around, raising a brow at Aleks. He held a finger up, acknowledging the younger man as he finished his conversation.

Moments later Brett set his phone down, shaking his head. “So man, what’s up?” he asked, dark brown eyes looking right to Aleks. Aleks shrugged, rolling his eyes. “I don’t know, dude. I’m fucking bored as hell for some reason today, thought I’d see if someone was here” he answered. Brett chuckled, giving the Russian a once over. Aleks looked good, dressed in tight black jeans and a simple white v-neck. “Let’s go out for a drink” Brett offered and Aleks snickered. “Dude it’s like 4 in the afternoon, little early isn’t it?” he said, shaking his head. Brett pursed his lips and shrugged. “What are you, a pussy?” he asked challengingly. He knew Aleks wouldn’t back down, not now. He was a bit too prideful. Aleks snorted, opening the door and Brett laughed to himself. Predictable as always.

Not even 20 minutes later the two of them were at some random hole in the wall bar, tipping back their respective drinks. Aleks hummed thoughtfully. This hadn’t been too bad of an idea. “So this wasn’t totally a bad idea” he muttered, echoing his thoughts. Brett nodded in agreement, already slightly tipsy from the 3 shots he’d downed upon their arrival. “Totally man. You’re good company. Y’know, in case you hadn’t noticed Aleks, there’s a gorgeous girl eyeing the fuck out of you.” Aleks turned to see the woman in question, and turned back to his companion, shaking his head. “Nah dude she’s staring at you. With that ass you got, who could blame her” he blurted, and Brett’s eyes went wide for a moment. It took the younger man a minute to register he’d said that out loud, and a blush spread over his face. Brett laughed loudly, startling a few of the bar’s patrons. “And here I thought it was just me.”

Aleks’ face turned an even brighter pink, and his mouth opened automatically as a response. Brett raised an eyebrow, waiting for the younger man to say something, instead of gaping like a fish. A full minute went by and Brett sighed. “Well?” he asked Aleks. The blond swallowed, taking another minute to collect his thoughts as his stomach did flips. “W-What are you saying, dude?” he asked, feeling the effects of the alcohol now. Brett smirked, and it was fucking hot, if Aleks was being honest. Brett moved closer, hot breath on Aleks’ ear. “I’m saying, Aleksandr, that I would like to go back to your place and fuck.” Aleks felt his dick throb in his jeans, and he couldn’t say no. Why would he? He nodded, shaky, and Brett’s smile widened.     Brett threw the money on the bar, walking past Aleks with a swagger in his step. Aleks watched the muscles of his ass work, as his toned legs carried him away and he had to stifle a moan. He followed, perhaps a little too eager. In what could only be described as a miracle (or maybe Brett hadn’t had near as much to drink as Aleks though he’d had so he was really fine) they made it back to Aleks place. Aleks got out of the car slowly, back pressed against his door. Brett came around, putting both arms on either side of the smaller man. He moved forward with a predatory gleam in his eyes, pressing his lips against the pulse point on Aleks’ neck. It was a rapid little beat, and he smiled against the younger’s throat as he bit down gently. This earned a soft, breathy moan from Aleks and the noise went right to Brett’s cock. “Fuck,” he breathed, biting down harder because damn it all, he wanted to hear more of that shit.

    Brett and Aleks managed to make it inside, barely. As soon as they crossed the threshold, clothes had started to come off and hands were definitely wandering, and later Aleks would wonder how they’d even made it to his room at the rate they were going. But they did, and Aleks let out a little noise when his knees hit the bed. Brett’s eyes were wild, blown wide with arousal as he pushed Aleks back onto the mattress. He crawled on the bed, hovering over Aleks and he could see that Aleks wanted this as much as he did. “Fuck me, you’re so fucking hot” he swore and Aleks smirked. “Isn’t that my line?” he chuckled and Brett growled. He looked up, seemingly searching for something. “In the table” he murmured. Brett smiled and opened the drawer. “A-ha” he laughed, moving back over to Aleks, not missing a beat.

Brett poured a good amount of lube on his hand, staring at Aleks as he did so. The other man bit his lip, cock leaking from his excitement. He gave a short nod, signaling that it was okay. The older of the two let his hand wander to Aleks’ tight hole. He circled his large finger around the rim before slipping it in. Aleks grunted softly, and within a matter of seconds the resistance was gone. Brett gently moved his finger, going slowly because while he did want to be balls deep in Aleks like now, he wasn’t cruel like that.

After a few minutes of opening Aleks up properly, Brett could tell he was becoming impatient, they both were. Sitting back, he stroked himself slowly, coating himself in lube as he stared at Aleks. “You ready?” he asked, his tone challenging. Aleks smirked and nodded. “Just fucking get in me, Jesus Christ dude.” Brett chuckled and pressed forward slowly. The warmth and tightness stole his breath away and he damn near popped then and there. Brett took a breath, calming his own rapidly beating heart and when he felt like he wasn’t going to lose it, he looked to Aleks for confirmation that it was okay to start moving. The Russian nodded, and Brett started a slow thrust. Aleks was already coming undone, the younger man knew this much. With how big and thick his friends cock was, how could he not? Aleks smiled to himself, because seeing Brett above him, face twisted in passion…it was amazing. Though before long, Brett wanting to take it easy on him started to annoy Aleks.

Aleks knew he wanted Brett to go faster, harder. He knew what buttons to press to make that happen. He laughed quietly, devilishly to himself. “You know, you keep fucking me this slow, I’m going to have to go get it from another guy cause you’re boring me.” There. Aleks smiled smugly. Hit his ego and his pride. He heard a low, dangerous growl, and brown eyes met another set of dark, wild eyes. “Shit dude,” Aleks swore. Brett started to pound into Aleks faster, angling his hips just right as to hit the other man’s prostate. Aleks’ hips snapped up and he let out a loud, keening moan.

Brett’s mouth twisted into a devilish smirk. “That what you wanted, asshole?” he laughed and Aleks nodded. After minutes of the brutalizing pace,  Brett could feel himself getting close. He bit his lip, looking down at the man he was currently fucking senseless. “Hey, Aleks I’m close. Where do you  want-” he started to ask but Aleks interrupted him. “Inside me,” he answered firmly and Brett moaned because fuck all, that was hot. He nodded and grabbed Aleks cock, stroking in time with his thrusts.

In no time at all Aleks came, a cry of “Brett" spilling from his lips. He tightened up and as a result (and it CERTAINLY wasn’t the way Aleks had yelled his name) Brett came hard, pouring inside of Aleks. They both lay there, with Brett on top of Aleks, panting hard. Brett slowly removed himself, noticing Aleks wince. He lay back down, turning his head to look at Aleks, who was already out cold. Softly smiling, Brett covered his now lover up, running a hand through his hair. “You’re easy to get addicted to, you fucker,” he murmured. Brett’s eyes fluttered shut, and he was out.

In the morning, the two would go on to go get breakfast. Neither would admit how the other had rocked them entirely, and they didn’t really bring it up at breakfast. No, they didn’t think anything needed to be said and when it happened a second, third and fourth time…well that was fine too.

[scarlettwinchester23]

Tagging game

Hiii, so I was tagged by my favourite person @the-heat-of-the-moment-gabe ❤❤❤ Thank you so much! I hope I do this right 🤞😁

Nickname: Tree 🌳 (Yeah I don’t even know where it came from and I don’t know why it stuck but apparently my name sounds like tree)

Gender: Female (that’s the only answer I know I can’t get wrong 😂)

Star Sign: Aries (by one day but I am sooo not a Taurus😁)

Height: 5ft 6’ I think, it kinda depends on the day 😂

Time: umm as in space-time? Space. The final frontier, these are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her mission: to explore strange, new world’s, to seek out new civilizations, to boldy go where no-one has gone before… (Sorry..i have no excuse) it is 12:30 when I started this but I’m sure it will take me ages 😁

Birthday: April 19th ❤

Favourite Bands: oh wow there are alot! I go through phases, um Louden Swain (obviously) The Script, twenty one pilots, Paramore, Train, Led zeppelin, Mcfly, Scouting for girls, Fun., Journey, Foreigner, anything that has been played on supernatural, matchbox Twenty, I should probably stop here but you get the idea 😁😁

Favourite Solo Artists: Seriously? Oh dear, well you asked for it, here it goes: Jensen Ackles (I don’t care that he doesn’t actually have an album, because his voice is just too good to not write down), Olly Murs, Ed Sheeran, Gil McKinney, Jason Mann’s (again basically anyone who has sung at a convention😁) Elvis, Michael Bublé, P!nk, and a lot more that I have forgotten👍😁

Song Stuck in my Head: Just give me a reason by P!nk and Nate Ruess ooo and since reading @the-heat-of-the-moment-gabe answers “All star” by Smash Mouth! It’s just such a great tune!

Last Movie I watched: I researched Jurassic World for the 5th time yesterday (It’s soo cool and I’m a little bit in love with Chris Pratt❤)

Last Show I watched: Law and Order SVU, they are doing a summer marathon of it on tv (I blame my parents for putting on because now I’m slightly obsessed😕)

When did i create my blog: I have no clue, not long ago, probably someone this year, I still don’t know what to do 😁

What do I post? Post or reblog?: Reblog, as I said I don’t know what to do, maybe one day I shall figure it out. Until then I shall happily reblog the posts of the very talented people of tumblr😁

Last thing I Googled: Probably “what to do if you don’t get into university” Results are in 4 days and I am panicking!

Any other blogs?: Nope, not yet. Maybe if I figure out how to tumblr😂

Do you get asks?: No, I have never got one, but I only reblog so I’m not sure what anyone would ask. But if anyone wants to feel free, I shall answer probably in fandom quotes 😁

The Story behind my Username: Is not very interesting, Scarlett is my middle name and who doesn’t want to be a Winchester?! oh and 23 is my lucky number.

Following: 52 I think 😁❤

Followers: 9!! I know its not many but honestly I have no idea how I got that many, so THANK YOU VERY MUCH WONDERFUL PEOPLE!!!

Favourite Colour: Red, like a really rich red (like Scarlet! ) also Blue, basically Captain America colours

Average Hours of Sleep: Not as many as I would like! about 7 or 8, mainly because I stay up until 2am then sleep in really late

Lucky Number: 23

Instruments: Piano (but not very well), does recorder count?

What I’m wearing right now: Ooo naughty! just jeans and a tshirt that says “all you need is love” ❤

How many blankets do I sleep with?: These questions are slightly concerning! ummm just one massive red one which is wonderful  😊

Dream Job: I don’t have one… is that weird? I’m studying Astro-physics but I really just want to help people so I don’t know. *has another crisis about the future*

Dream Trip: oooooh it’s a tie between a Supernatural convention in America (literally any of them) and somewhere like Tenerife where you can see the Milkyway on a clear night 😁

Favourite Food: Chocolate!!! Pizza, Pasta, Salmon and of course PANCAKES!😁😁😁

Nationality: British, I’m embarrassingly British, I am drinking Tea as I type!

Favourite Song Right Now: “Calling all Angels” by Train literally listened to it on repeat all through exams and it helped a lot. it reminds me of Supernatural

(sorry if all the lines are messed up, I did half on mobile and now its all confused ooops!)

Wow, that took a while hehe anyway, thank you to anyone who reads this, you’re awesome! I shall tag @glaand @gregqoyle @sis-tafics @tinkdw @imjusthereforsupernatural   These people are all awesome with actual big blogs so I really don’t mind if no one else does this but thank you all for being so awesome! x

[seriously-siri]

I know someone who loves Kup and Swerve, may I request those two depressed robots interacting for them?

I didn’t forget you (or your dear friend) lovely Anon!! This was hard. Like super hard…also I am terrified of not getting Kup just right because he is so iconic and fantastic. But…I think I’ve got something for you!

EDIT: And because Tumblr mobile is a complete pile of poo here’s a link to the Ao3 version since the read more doesn’t show up on mobile! (At least it didn’t on mine.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10800153 

Swerve was tired. Not in a his last recharge was on and off again kind of way or a he just didn’t sleep enough hours kind of tired. He was tired. The kind of tired when your optics refused to focus and your head feels heavy. When every step you take feels like it took you three minutes to do. When usually light things feel heavier than they should and stupid simple tasks feel so arduous that you don’t think they’re worth it anymore. It was an exhaustion that went to his very core. Even his thoughts felt tired. He didn’t even think that was a thing.

But hey, everyday is a learning experience right? Or some such bullshit like that.

It’s not like he didn’t have a reason to be tired. Every single Cybertronian on Cybertron had every good reason to be tired. They did just save their planet, and the universe (again). While it could be said that Optimus and Megatron did most of the work (and Swerve really really really hated having to admit that Megatron saved them), everyone else was still part of that battle. There was no escaping a million and a half Ammonites attacking the very small space that everyone was crammed into and even though they won, barely, they’d lost a lot of bots. A lot of friends. If things weren’t dire enough, they had become that much more convoluted. I mean, who had expected Megatron’s return?

Swerve had, no mistaking that. Megatron always found a way to come. Why was that any different? The difference now was that he was wearing red on his chest and not purple and Swerve heard it was Bumblebee’s old badge and that just sort made everything that much more messed up. Messed up and hectic and so tense you could pretty much eat the static in the air with a spoon.

Luckily the Lost Light was looking good as new and as soon as the whole debacle that was Megatron’s trial was over they’d be bouncing again. Hopefully that would be sooner rather than later.

“What’re you doing all the way out here, kid?”

Swerve wasn’t sure whether he should turn around or not. Only three bots that he knew of called people ‘kid’ on a daily basis: Ironhide, Kup, and Ratchet.

There was too much of an accent and not enough grump to be Ratchet. Besides, Ratchet was busy. You don’t take part in en epic battle for your planet (and the universe [again]) and not suffer more than a couple injuries. He’d been elbow deep in bot innards since the Lost Light got back to Cybertron. As for the accent, it wasn’t slangy enough to be Ironhide. Just ignore the fact that after his time at the academy, Swerve was pretty sure Ironhide would never willingly start a conversation with him.  Which meant it had to be…

Oh Primus.

“Kup?” And no, his voice did not just squeak into a high pitched ‘I’m clearly vibrating with nerves and excitement at the same time’ tone. Nope. He was going to be totally cool and collected and not ask a million questions because Kup was a Wrecker and Swerve definitely didn’t idolize them and think they were the coolest bots in existence.

Who am I kidding? Definitely not Kup. Nothing got by him. That’s why he was Kup. You don’t get to be as old as Kup, as experienced as Kup, as cool as Kup, by not paying attention to the details.

Swerve didn’t twitch a gear as dark green settled down next to him, a slightly disturbing creak in Kup’s frame made Swerve cringe. Old, right. He’s old.

“Ah,” Kup said with realization as he looked out over the wild and strangely unfamiliar sprawl of Cybertron’s surface in front of them. “I see what you’re doin all the way up here.”

Swerve hadn’t actually considered the view from on top of…wherever he was. It was sort of like a plateau, but it definitely was just some really large piece of debris that managed to not get buried under all the plants that try to kill you when Cybertron had its reset button pushed. He just wanted to get away from everyone for a minute or twelve.

Although, now that he was looking at it, it was pretty stunning. The sun was still fairly high in the sky and the tangled knots of plants below casted shadows that started to make pictures if you stared at the patterns long enough. It was weird, really really weird, to look out and not recognize where they were. Swerve was a lot older than a lot of bots tended to remember, not as old as Kup though.

I wonder if he’ll start doing that thing everyone says he does… Swerve stole a quick glance up at Kup and then quickly looked away. Usually, according to everyone else, when Kup got contemplative (and his face was definitely reading ‘thinking too hard’ right now) he would talk about the past and something he learned from his experiences. Rodimus said it was usually some boring narrative, but Perceptor said that it was always good advice. And damn, Swerve could have used some good at that moment.

“You know,” Kup said slowly, almost to himself more than Swerve. “Looking down at all of that down there, all that mess; it reminds me-”

Called it! And he couldn’t believe he was about to witness one of Kup’s great reminiscence stories. It was too good to be true. Maybe he’d be regaled with some kind of great ancient wisdom! Maybe he could leave this piece of trash and feel slight  better about things.

“Reminds me of the day Ark 1 launched.”

Huh?

Swerve couldn’t help but give Kup a puzzled look. He’d been there at the launch himself and this definitely didn’t look anything like the launch pad and there was definitely not a giant spaceship about to take off into outer space. At least not in front of them. The Lost Light was a couple miles behind them. Also there was no massive crowd or festivities or anything. Literally nothing in front of them could possibly remind Kup of that day.

That damn day in history when everything started falling apart and no one knew it yet. When hopes were so high that nothing could crush them. When everyone was so ignorant to the poison that was beginning to spread across the planet and through society.

Kup gave a small chuckle as Swerve’s facial expressions went from downright confused to borderline angry. “What? Don’t agree with me?”

“Er…no.” Swerve paused, trying to think. Was there something he was missing? He glanced down at the world in front of him and shook his head. “Yeah no, I got nothing.”

Maybe Kup was going senile in his old age. He’d heard that rumor before, too. Whirl always said Kup was more crazy than not. Then again that was Whirl talking so it was hard to take seriously.  

Kup let a small, mischievous smirk crawl up one side of his face. “Hear me out here, kid.”

“I, er, okay. I’ll try.” Swerve frowned. He was good at listening, he’d never have actually made his bar successful if he wasn’t as good at listening as he was at talking, but he was skeptical right now. “Just so you know, I was there that day, so this is going to be a hard sell.”

Kup just grinned and looked down at him. “Good, then this will be easier than I thought it was going to be. It’s hard to describe that day, ya know?” Thinking a moment Kup looked back over the land in front of them, squinting, almost like he was trying to see where the ship would be standing if it were in front of them. “Where were you that day? Where did you watch from?”

Swerve blinked. “The southern side of the launch platform.” He paused. “I was down in the main crowd.” He remembered because he couldn’t see the initial engine power up, since he was too short to see anything other than a sea of legs, but he was also the only one not complaining about the sun being in his eyes; a small plus to being short. Once the Ark was in the air it didn’t matter where you were standing, you could see if from any direction within a hundred miles of the launch zone.

Kup thought a moment and nodded. “The Ark’s trajectory took it right over your head then, huh? I watched it from up front. They asked me to go along, you know. I said no. My home’s always been here and I wasn’t about to abandon it. I thought we could protect it, I thought we had a chance. Even back then, when no one really knew that we were on the cusp of the big fall out, I had a sinking feeling in my gut. It only grew when I watched that ship take off.”

Swerve frowned. He knew. He knew all too well what that feeling was. He had it then, also. He had it now. It was like Cybertron was trying to warn them of something. It was like when you get the feeling that you have something really important to do, but you can’t remember what it is no matter how hard you wrack your processor. Except this feeling was a little more foreboding. Losing the world (again) was a much higher consequence than missing a drinking date with a friend. Unless that friend is Whirl.

Kup continued. “I get the same feeling now. We’ve got a lot of history in our pockets and look where it’s landed us? This ripe old mess. Wasn’t much different back then, either. Now, instead of star systems we’d never seen before or planets we couldn’t fathom we’ve got our own backyard to navigate and discover. Rediscover, actually.”

Okay, also true.

Also, probably the most messed up part of all of this. Even after all the fingers were done pointing and the blame was tossed to everyone’s feet no matter how involved, or uninvolved, they were no could deny that they all had a hand in the whole debacle. Every single bot carried some part of the blame. Decepticon, Autobot, and Neutral alike. That’s why he opened up his bar to all of them. Because to hell with it all. If this was going to be the cycle they kept going through as a race? If tension was always going to break down into war and war into some kind of galaxy threatening end game then why not have a space for people to actually enjoy a moment away from the shit show that was reality?

“So,” Swerve frowned, glancing up at Kup quickly before staring back out to the horizon. “this is more about how we didn’t listen to warning signs back then and wondering if we’re going to do the same this time around?”

“You could say that.” Kup shrugged. “Or wondering what our part in all of it is going to be this time around. If we’ll even have a part. I wondered the same thing back then. Didn’t know how it was going to pan out. We’re writing on the last page of a book and whatever the next chapter is, is going to be a whole new novel.”

Oh. Oh! Oh. Swerve hadn’t actually considered that. Well he did because what else do you do when you come up to secluded piece of trash to stare out at nothing but think about things that happened in the past? But he hadn’t really thought about how it was for someone like Kup. How many more years of hindsight was adding to that doubt and hesitance?

Not to mention that whole being stuck in the Dead Universe thing.

Swerve resisted the urge to cringe. Sure, he’d been involved in things over the course of the war, but his involvement was being as uninvolved as he could while still being somewhat involved. At least involved enough to still have bragging rights. He wasn’t exactly proud of that.

He wasn’t exactly sure he could change at the moment, either.

“What do you think we’ll do this time?” Swerve was almost afraid to ask. Almost.

“Judging from what we’ve done is the past?” Kup sighed and squeezed the bridge his nose. “Probably muck things up.”

“Again.”

“Yeah, again.”

Swerve almost laughed. Almost. He’d definitely gotten a piece of Kup wisdom. 

It wasn’t exactly anything he didn’t already know, just more like all the things he tried to never think about. All the chances they had to change the tides in the past. All the easy mistakes they could have avoided, but didn’t for the sake of…he didn’t even know. Pride? No, not really. Really just for the sake of it. Which was a pretty pathetic excuse.

Kup stood up with a small groan and very long sigh. He looked out over the landscape again and shook his head, disapprovingly. “I’ve been around a long time, been in a lot of moments like this. Don’t like them all that much.” Turning the old bot put a hand in the air and gave a haphazard wave good-bye. “See ya round’ kid. Don’t go thinking too much in one evening. It’ll drive ya mad.”

Hindsight can really be a curse, huh?

Ah! So there it is! I hope I could capture at least a little something that your friend will enjoy! Thank you for the prompt! It was challenging, but in a good way. I had fun =D

[foraminutei-blog]

I want to get it out. Share it with someone but without opening too much, without being vulnerable. This is the only way I can do it. Because I’m totally anonymous here, on this stupid little sideblog. 

I’m in my thirties and I want to die. To stop existing. Sadly for me, I can’t commit suicide. It’s like some kind of thing in my mind not letting me do it. I’ve contemplated it so many times. Decided that pills would be the easiest option. But I just can’t. And I hate it.

I was ready once. Just this one time my mind formulated a plan and was absolutely determined to go with it. And I was at ease with the plan. Man, I was happy. Happy that my meaningless existance will finally end and my pain and misery will stop. But I had a friend at the time. I never had any true friends. Someone I’d just click with. So you have to understand that THIS was just something extraordinary. And also something I was not sure how to proceed with. It was new and scary and I cared about this person so much I was so fucking afraid of doing sth wrong but at the same time I was so starved and greedy which kept fucking things up... Anyway, my stupid mind decided that I can’t go with the suicide plan. Not now when there is something in my life, someone. It gave me a reason, it gave me strenght to fight depression, anxiety, my own issues and demons. So I fought and kept on living. And it’s the biggest regret of my life.

The friendship ended spectacularily just as I was resurfacing back to life, being better in keeping my feelings and actions at bay. I won’t get into details but the breakup took me by surprise and was done in a very cruel way, with many harsh words, including trivializing my suicidal thoughts as something I’ve just made up in order to make them suffer. 

Till this day I’m surprised and disappointed I have not walked in front of a car right after that. I think I just thought that this still could be fixed. And I tried so many times. I did so many things wrong in the process, I should have just kept my mouth shut and give them space, but I was in shock and desperate.

So, anyway, I don’t have friends. I don’t blame this person and anyone really. It is how it is. I just never click with people (with the one exception above). I interacted with people at schools, workplaces, courses etc but once that’s done (eg. finished school, left workplace etc) no one sticks around. I am absolutely alone, and no, it’s not a case of ‘oh you just don’t see how people around you care’. If I won two tickets to cinema I would have no one to give the second ticket to. I know it might be quite hard to imagine but it’s just how pathetic my life is. My only text messages are from my mobile network or adverts, I could throw away my phone and no one would notice. I could do many things and no one would notice. And no one would care. 

I tried making friends on tumblr. Failed. Tried meeting some people from here in person. Never heard from them again. My favourite one was a person with whom I’ve actually thought I got some connection. They then didn’t reply to my text and later said they’ve had a problem with their phone and couldn’t type on it which is why they weren’t able to reply. Yes, sure, especially that you could have contacted me via tumblr (as your tumblr was active at that time so I guess you had no problems here). Smooth. Like, believe me, I get it you don’t want to meet again, why can’t you just nicely say something alone these lines instead of making a weird excuse which doesn’t really make much sense.

The loneliness is very painful for me. And now I know that even if someone happens to like me (although I honestly think I’ve already had my one and only chance at that and this itself was a miracle) I will be even more scared and overthinking and it’s the first step to doom unless I come clean about all this and well, then they will just run away as fast as they can from the weirdo.

I have a few lumps in one of my internal organs. Had a biopsy done and all was fine. Later one of the lumps got bigger, but a second biopsy showed nothing suspisious. I am currently waiting for an ultrasound to check the lumps again and I know it is so very very wrong but a part of me hopes that the lumps will finally change into something dangerous. Because then I could die. I’d be shitless scared of how painful that journey might be but finally the decision which I am too anxious to make myself would be made for me. And not many people would be affected (I think just my immediate family, so basically 2 people). So yeah. It’s not something I would wish for in normal circumstances but the emotional pain is too much. 

Before you ask - yes, I’ve taken meds and been to therapy. It helped with some things, some temporarily and some permanently. But not with how alone and lonely I am.

I’ve spend my free day watching ‘Come Dine with Me’ and barely being able to focus on it, scrolling on tumblr a bit, crying, and writing this post. That’s it. Please do go on how alone you are as well, when I don’t even have anyone to go on a stupid walk with. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a contest of who has it worse. I just meant that I sometimes see people here going on how all alone they are and two days later they post photos with their friends from some fun event. I don’t even have that and I wish I did but apperently I was meant to be the lonely freak. And all I can do is hope it will all end soon.