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ashtxrie · 1 year ago

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submitted 11:59 pm

— alternatively, enhypen maknaes as your typical high school crush!

PAIR. high school! enhypen maknaes x gn!reader (rest under cut) GENRE. fluff, high school au, bullet points WORD COUNT. 1.8k total HYUNG LINE VER.

김선우 — kim sunoo

candy hearts, spotify playlists, good morning texts, easy laughter, crescent smiles

in high school, sunoo's known as being super friendly and sociable

and because of that, he has a ton of friends

like he basically knows everyone

you and sunoo have definitely talked before, and you may have had a teensy tiny crush on him from your... downward of five interactions

he's kind of like your hallway crush!

however, you DON'T know that he has had a crush on you for FOREVER

like a MASSIVE one! SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL

and his friends are SICK AND TIRED of hearing about it

man's dedicated because he really saw you in every single one of your phases and STILL decides to like you. he's a real one

he's so whipped like he's hitting up the group chat (named "en- gang" by riki btw) at 1 in the morning being like

"GUESS WHAT?!!! she smiled at me today ☺️ i forgot to tell you all"

everyone is so done

"did you talk to her though"

"NO. i'm getting there"

"all you did was make eye contact for the past month be srs rn"

so one day jay and jungwon (your mutual friends), who were in the same english class as you both, were feeling DEVIOUS

it was the fall semester final project, and it was supposed to be worked on in teams of 2 to 3

"bro you are NOT working on it with us the love of your life is literally RIGHT there"

jay and jungwon took matters into their own hands and forcefully excluded sunoo ("you guys are so fake")

so now, with no other option, he had to approach you!

"do you have a group already? if not, we could work together?"

wait wtf he didn't say that

hey....

it was YOU???

you approached him first??? he was SHOCKED

tried to play it cool but his smile gave away how happy he was

"yes!!!! let's work together!!!!! :)"

the project actually went so well he has literally never been happier typing away on that document every night

updates the group chat periodically too

"when we were working on the google doc at 2 am in the morning our cursors went over each other’s & it was like we were holding hands :>>"

"how do i unsubscribe"

"you're just mad because you've never been in love <333"

secretly sunoo's thanking his friends though because now you guys are basically close friends!

while doing the project together you started talking about school, friends, life, and everything in between

talking with you just seemed so natural, and sunoo wonders why he was so afraid of it before

i'd like to think that with you, sunoo doesn't feel the need to always put on the bubbly and outgoing side of him

sometimes, he can just be quiet and calm sunoo with you, and the silence feels so comfortable and safe

you start hanging out more and more, and soon you've met so many people through sunoo that they think of you whenever they think of him too

it's like a package deal!

throughout this time he's still madly in love with you btw

he just wants to take things slow! he didn't want to scare you away or anything

and yes, the gc is STILL getting their daily sunooyn Down Bad News Network

"today during lunch she gave me a yakult bottle, i think she’s starting to like me back! :D"

he does Not know you've liked him all this time

the mutual pining is crazy

he (finally) confesses after a whole YEAR

he's super nervous about it, has possible plan b's scripted and sat through 30 minutes of youtube subliminal audios the day before for extra good luck

after he says his whole heartfelt confession, he gives you this handwritten letter with all of his favorite moments with you in the past year, complete with spotify codes next to each one that links to a specific song he thought of at the time

you teared up a bit because oh my gosh it was so cute he was so cute and your heart just melted

you told him you've liked him since forever too and he was FLABBERGASTED

you both also reveal that you've BOTH had hidden spotify playlists dedicated for each other???

let's just say that even years later, the 'en- gang' group chat would NEVER let sunoo live down his digital footprint

양정원 — yang jungwon

strawberries, honors classes, coming of age, familiarity, inside jokes, paper rings

your childhood best friend

who just so happens to also be mr student council president, king of extracurriculars, resident academic powerhouse

and also a LITTLE SHIT about it

since elementary school, you've got some friendly (and not-so-friendly) rivalry going on

"we both know who’s going to get the higher score for this chem final”

“yeah, and it’s going to be me”

“NAH”

but the drive you get from the competition is really what brought you guys together

it's what keeps you motivated, it's what keeps you going

and he's funny! (though you'd never admit it)

because yes, you're both trying to beat each other for the top spot in class rank

but you also get each other

you've been study buddies since the beginning of time, and he keeps the two of you accountable

sometimes he's TOO responsible

"jungwon don't let the pomodoro timer dictate you life can we PLEASE take a snack break right nowww"

"we literally did that FIVE MINUTES AGO"

outside of studying he's really chill though

one summer he started to get really into alchemy of souls and you binged the series twice together, effectively destroying both of your sleep schedules right before school started

he just loves existing in the same space as you tbh

definitely loves calling you for hours during the school year, whether to review for an upcoming exam or to just have the two of you do your own things while connected on the phone

it's pretty common for the two of you to fall asleep while on call with one another

late night yapping sessions (hello??? his weverse addiction??)

he feels like he can just let his responsibilities go and you're the only person who really understands him and everything he does and why he does it

lowkey.... he also just wants to make you proud :(

he was so happy that one time you offhandedly mentioned how you've seen and appreciated all the hard work he was putting in for one of the school events

when he eventually confessed to you, everything just made sense

like the way your eyes always lingered on his bright smile when he showed up on your doorstep at the crack of dawn

and how even when you tease each other, you never miss how he would reach for your hand with his own before retracting it hurriedly as if changing his mind

now, oh he just makes you feel so loved

texts you at random times of the day just because, sending you the most random images and captioning them with "us"

he's still got the silliness in him though!

"i want to try every strawberry with chocolate combination with you <333"

西村力 — nishimura riki

neon lights, school dances, sunglasses, finger guns, playful banter, shared hoodies

honestly he's just at school for the vibes

however, he DID take homecoming very seriously

with one goal in mind: to DOMINATE the dance floor

and dominate he did.

he partied in the USA so hard that by the end of the night, everyone was talking about that freshman who left everyone speechless at a HIGH SCHOOL DANCE

among those witnesses of how riki out-danced the entire school population, were you

and you thought he was literally the coolest person ever

fast forward two years, and you're a junior now

it's all good! you've definitely outgrown your month-long admiration of the Guy From Hoco

but yo what guess who sits right next to your seat in class???

it's the Guy From Hoco himself

honestly, you're a pretty chill person so you turned to him and were like "hey aren't you that guy that got famous back during hoco freshman year?"

but now? he’s EMBARRASSED to admit it

"oh uhhh that wasn't me haha"

boy bffr you would know his face anywhere

you kind of gave him a questioning look and shrugged

"oh well, i thought it was really cool though"

he instantly backtracks, because you thought it was cool and NOT an aura loss????

"wait i think i remember now haha that WAS me!!!"

you guys match energy so well tbh

he started to catch feelings for you because of how funny you were and how you two just clicked, but he was stuck in denial FOREVER

"I DON'T CHASE I ATTRACT" (desperate)

heeseung also tried to give him "rizz counseling" but that just ended up with them both saying "mb gang" at everything

which was..... not very rizzy!

you had convinced him to audition for the competition dance team at your school, which he obviously made

he texted you the day he got in too, typing in all caps in everything which he NEVER does

"why would you scream about things in caps lock when you can be cool and nonchalant" YEAH SURE RIKI

updated all his social media bios to @[school]varsitydanceteam the moment he got the acceptance notif

“[name] is my instagram bio tuff”

“WHY ARE U ALR PUTTING IT IN YOUR BIO"

"because i’m committed and it lets them know i’m part of a professional community"

(heeseung told him that it would show his commitment to the sport and thus his potential to commit to you.)

at this point, riki was ready to fire heeseung and switch to jake as his ghostwriter 💀

but little did he know, you started liking him too once you saw how genuinely hardworking he was when he has a goal

like those hours he spent on call with you asking if you thought this one move was clean enough?? he really put in his all (he also wanted to impress you)

you kind of had the idea that he liked you back, because let's be honest he was being a bit obvious about it

the way he almost choked when you hugged him congratulations??? he looked DAZED for a whole hour

you had to confess to riki because his heejake rizz courses consisted mainly of heeseung and jake arguing about whose approach was better

even when you two became a couple, you still had teasing as a love language LMAO

"HAHA 🫵🫵 YOU'RE SO SHORT i still love you though <3"

it's just how he shows his love, but he also loves draping his arm across your shoulders when walking around

made sure to emphasize to heeseung and jake that this was all his doing and they did not help him at ALL

but let's be real, YOU were the rizziest of them all

and riki agrees <3

TAGLIST : @star-sim @boyfiejay @jlheon @jwsdoll @dimplewonie @suneng @en-gelic @mygnolia @asteria-wood

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zvahlne · 3 months ago

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hello everyone welcome to uh. welcome to my mixtape.

i posted about sharing/analyzing songs i associate with aphmau characters, and i'm starting off with one of my absolute all-time favorite songs for laurance:)

foreigner's god by hozier!! here is links if you wanna listen while you read: youtube / spotify

and now... i will tell you why... walk with me.... (this is going to be a long walk) (i have a lot to say about this one) (also i haven't gotten to season 2 in my rewatch yet but this is heavily based on how i feel about season 2. so i could be remembering some things wrong and i apologize for that...)

garroth sorry for borrowing you for my laurmau posting but i had to use this gif we're going on a walk please have mercy it's a really good gif

first just to get it out of the way

Screaming the name of a foreigner's god The purest expression of grief

she is irene [surprise pikachu]... i don't know what else to say about this. it is about the horror of falling in love with the divine (especially when you end up on the opposite end of divine through circumstance, for the divine) in our analysis today.

She moved with shameless wonder The perfect creature rarely seen Since some liar broke the thunder When the land was godless and free

"she moved with shameless wonder; the perfect creature rarely seen" he's thinking about aphmauuu... aphmau.... i love this for her. the "shameless wonder" reminds me a lot of early aphmau being absolutely goofy sometimes because jess was still playing it as minecraft ykwim? running around to attack random scorpions and having conversations with her dogs, getting excited over props in the villages she visited... yknow... shameless wonder. the shameless wonder of a gamer......

the second part just very much reminds me of the vibe of early minecraft diaries to me, it's a little hard for me to describe that. "when the land was godless" to me is like. you know aphmau/irene shenanigans. this song in my laurance playlist is a lot about the aphmau/irene shenanigans. i really wish i could explain this one better because it makes me FEEL THINGS but it's like. a vibe thing

Her eyes look sharp and steady Into the empty parts of me But still my heart is heavy With the hate of some other man's beliefs

her eyes.......

sorry what were we talking about

no but seriously i love this part for the specificity of "her eyes", because this is one of my favorite moments (this is from s2 ep 19 "her eyes" for those who aren't as laurmau-rotted as i am). "her eyes look sharp and steady into the empty parts of me" is so. it makes me so. when he comes back from the nether he's changed and he continues to change but she never looks away and that keeps him here. she doesn't turn away from him. she still sees him. but he's still empty. "but still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man's beliefs" he's still a shadow knight, and he is still losing himself... "some other man" is the shadow lord/shad in this reading

Wondering who I copy Mustering some tender charm

^^^ laurance trying to be Normal all the while he is slowly losing himself... the experience of dying and coming back Wrong..... "wondering who i copy" being him thinking about who he was before he died in the nether. you don't come back from that the same guy unfortunately. you come back Wrong. no matter how hard you try to ignore it

my favorite part now !!!!

She feels no control of her body She feels no safety in my arms I've no language left to say it But all I do is quake to her Breaking if I try convey it The broken love I make to her

she feels no control of her body - both about the circumstances of the werewolf wedding specifically (because i am always there), but also about aphmau/irene stuff again to me

she feels no safety in my arms - laurance wants nothing more than to be aphmau's protector, to keep her safe, to make her feel safe, but how can he like this? how could she feel safe with a monster? is she safe around him? he wants that, he promises that, but is it true? laurance can't imagine she felt very safe around him at the wedding... or when he lost control of himself in scaleswind..... she feels no safety in his arms :(

i've no language left to say it, but all i do is quake to her - he used to bombard her with over-the-top flirtations, but now that he's really fallen for her, he stammers over his words. the weight of it is heavier. he loves her but suddenly that's too much to say. and --

breaking if i try convey it; the broken love i make to her - in his current state, his expression of this love is often twisted and aggressive (see: the werewolf wedding). but it's all he can give her, it's all he has left. their first kiss shouldn't have been what it was. she deserves better than that.

aand.. umm... yeah!! thanks for coming on this walk with me:) not all my lyricposting will be this long, this is just one i had a LOT to say about it and i wanted to put a little extra effort into the first lyricpost... hope you enjoyed !!

#zvahlne yaps #zvahlne lyrics #aphblr #aphmau #minecraft diaries #laurance zvahl #mcd #laurmau #BTW PRETTY SURE THAT YOU GET NOTIFS WHEN PEOPLE USE YOUR GIFS SO APOLOGIES TO THE PERSON WHO MADE THE GIF #IT'S A FANTASTIC GIF THOUGH I REALLY LIKE IT

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quietzap · 9 months ago

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how do you navigate your feelings towards ziam and cheryl/bear/kate/maya on top of this immense grief? i don't mean to be insensitive but i haven't found an answer for myself yet, i can't believe we'll never get answers now

(To anyone seeing this, read until the end before saying anything thank you.) Well. I'm gonna ramble a bit but bear with me. Spotify played Let Me and Common on shuffle the other day and I cried a bit. It's unfair. It should've never ended this way. But I had already accepted ages ago that we might never know the truth. I still have my beliefs. That Zayn and Liam were together. Maybe they had broken up who knows but if they did then I still truly believe their bond was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I've gone through so many emotions this past week. But seeing the posts of cheryl etcetc or people mentioning bear (Zayn was the only one who didn't fwiw), it didn't make me feel anything. Maybe bc I had already accepted we couldn't do anything about the stunts, and/or maybe bc it's still difficult for me to accept he's really gone or bc it doesn't matter to me at this moment. Or bc I haven't actually sat down to think about what it means that he's gone. I've just been thinking of the pain all of Liam's loved ones are in right now and will be in for the foreseeable future. And I include Zayn in this. I also don't really want to think about it bc I think I might get angry. We've all seen Liam's video on snapchat from last month, where he said he was stunting and forced to do things he didn't want to do and to send help. I often used to say that I didn't understand why the boys accepted this situation instead of just getting out, consequences be damned. Ofc it's easier said than done. But I thought maybe they thought it was worth it in some way. But then, Louis got out. Zayn got out. (In some way, I mean they have privacy and a real career, like Niall and Harry). I guess I will never understand why Liam was still the only one so stuck in this shitty situation. Why couldn't he live his life in peace like Zayn and only appear when he released music? Why couldn't he find a better team or why did he even accept to go along for so long? Why did people let him? Why?! That's what I want to know. Fucking why. And I want Liam's image/reputation to be redeemed. Anyway I digressed I'm sorry.

I just sincerely hope Zayn will be ok. Jaymi who was in Union J lost his soon-to-be-husband a couple months ago (Olly was buried the day they were supposed to get married last month). They'd been together for 14 years. And Olly died in similar circumstances (a fall from the 3rd floor of a hotel). And as incredibly awful as this is, knowing that other people are going through similar grief helps a bit, and I hope it will help Zayn and Liam's loved ones know they're not alone. (Edit: I'm not saying these deaths are linked, Olly's death is an accident, Jaymi was there when it happened. This paragraph is about not being fully alone in grief because other ppl go through similar things).

Idek if I've answered your question. I guess basically the stunts don't cross my mind coz it's not important to me. These past few years when Liam was alive it wasn't important (tho I hated it) bc I accepted the boys made their own choices. And now it's not important bc it won't bring Liam back and bc his loved ones matter more to me. Now, if I'm actually wrong about my beliefs then it is what it is and I feel for his exes/gf/child, and if the maya thing is true I still think addiction made him act that way and that if he'd got a chance to really get better this wouldn't have happened again. If I'm not wrong tho, I truly feel for Zayn who doesn't get to grieve the way he deserves to. Tho I'm glad he has loved ones who know the truth and who can support him the right way.

I hope this helps. Feel free to tell me if you want to discuss this further or anything ❤️

(Link to the videos of Liam from snapchat: x)

#he and they deserved so much better #anonymous #answered asks #ziam #2024

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funkin-news · 7 months ago

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ninjamuffin newgrounds post!

tl;dr

fuck ads!! use adblocker whenever you can!!

the crew tries to make fnf as ad-free as possible, not just the game but where you download it- it's why it's on itch/newgrounds and not anywhere that offers ad revenue

that being said, fnf mobile will likely have a free version which... will have ads. they will try not to make the ads too obnoxious

(there will be an ad-free paid version too!)

extra note from me, not the post: if you're an android user you totally shouldn't use youtube revanced and purpletv or anything for mobile youtube and twitch adblockers. it would be such a hindrance to the advertisers. ha ha

full post copied below ⬇️

greetings and merry xmas newgrounds

on my brain for a very long time has been advertisements. Something about ads that stick in my brain ever since I came across this little thing from Lichess.

In due time, unfortunately this post will become a bit hypocritical, as we will eventually publish FNF onto mobile, and that will very likely have a free ad supported version. Hopefully that doesn't undermine my thoughts too much, however FNF is more than just me and my brain! Not everything I say goes in terms of FNF decisions! So with all that being said, let me begin shouting about everything I hate about ads.

I use adblocker on everything, and you should too. UBlock Origin has been my reliable go to. Online ads are especially an insidious breed. I'll try not to be some tinfoil hat, but I do often wonder what the internet would look like if the online ad model *wasn't* fruitful back in the early days of the internet. Would Facebook, Google, etc. have an arms race to the bottom to get infinite amounts of data on every single person ever? Would social media algorithms optimize for a different experience other than *spend as much time as possible on our site*? Ads have existed before Youtube, Google, internet though. They exist on TV, on subways and buses, on radio, in newspapers. I think for the most part my deep hatred of ads is for online kind, I do think there can be "irl" ads that I find very unpleasant. Going on a subway or sitting at a bus stop, I think people deserve more dignity from their city public transit than to have something sold to them! I don't think an ad free life should be only reserved for those who can pay for spotify premium, youtube red, etc. I think everyone should be entitled to that DIGNITY.

X (the everything app, formerly Twitter ) has a Premium subscription that costs 10$/month (CAD), and they will only give you *half* the ads in your feed. How generous of them. I will be dramatic, and say that I look at ads with disgust. I hope to think I'm somewhat justified, as most ads look like dogshit, and are pretty worthless.

For a very long time (and currently, as of writing/posting) FNF has been entirely ad free. We did stand up to putting it on other web portals that offer ads and ad payments/rev share, because we do somewhat want to be part of the change we'd like to see in the world. We want to believe in a world where someone can put out a free game on itch/newgrounds, and have the development be supported purely off donations (which FNF was supported by that in the early days / first 6 months of development!). We definitely could have made much MUCH more money if we put FNF on websites that offer ad rev share, but we didn't, and I hope that doesn't fall on deaf ears.

However we do promote our own things from within the game, Kickstarter, merch, etc. I suppose I'm less upset or even thinking about that, I think there's a big difference if we had a lil Kickstarter trailer in-game that played, opposed to having an in-game advertisement for some fuckass mobile game or some cosmetics or somethin. We specifically are still curating what we are putting in the game with our lil links to merch, kickstarter, etc.

We also provide the soundtrack on Spotify / streaming services, which do indeed get money from ads. I think I'm so detatched from Spotify ads and being angry at them, since I've been spotify premium user even at the brokest poorest in my life... i need them album downloads!!! I do think that's an aspect where there is an adfree alternative, which is Bandcmap, where you can listen to the FNF OST as much as you want, and if you pay some coin, you can download it in high quality!

My thoughts on FNF mobile with ads is that they will make me very unhappy and deeply sad. I do sincerely apologize to those of you who would be unable to play FNF on anything other than a mobile device, and aren't able to get the full mobile version, so you become punished with ads. We do hope to not be obnoxious with mobile ads. If you have a computer, even a shitty busted one that runs slow, I personally hope you end up compiling the mobile version yourself to get past ads. The thought of that lets me rest easier just a little bit. The FNF will be proudly open source forever.

There will also be a paid version of FNF mobile, that will have no ads. Pay for that one if you please.

#fnf #friday night funkin #fridaynightfunkin #og funkin news

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hd-wireless · 1 year ago

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📻🎶 H/D WIRELESS 2024 - ANON MASTERLIST AND GUESSING GAME!

It’s time for the list! And for some numbers! And a wee game!

This year’s Wireless has (as always) some impressive numbers for you. Everyone, the Wireless 2024 stats:

33 days of posting

45 works in total

6 artworks

2 art and fic combos

34 fics

3 podfics

And a total of 758,934 words!

We mods can’t thank each and everyone of you enough! Without every single one of our participants and readers this fest wouldn’t be possible. Thank you for being here and showing support to the amazingly talented people we had participating this year. ❤️

You have one week until we reveal the names of all our amazing creators, and what better way to spend it than catching up with the works you might have missed and playing our fun guessing game!

Guessing Game: ❓ Can you work out who created what?? Click this link to access the form and have your guess. The more correct guesses you make the more points you get, and we even award points for wrong answers so you might as well try guessing them all! Don’t forget to read the instructions!!! The winner will be announced at Reveals.🏆

And why not have another listen to our prompted songs for the works we post before the reveals next week:

Click here for Spotify (many thanks to @evaeleanor for helping us out there) ❤️ And here for the YouTube playlist.

🎶 H/D Wireless Art 🎶

📻 Fly Away with Me Tonight? [Gen, Digital Art]

🎵 Song Prompt: Levitating by Dua Lipa 🎵Summary: A chance meeting, an invitation to dance

📻 ghost (might as well be gone) [Gen, Digital ]

🎵 Song Prompt: Might as Well Be Gone by Pixies 🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy retired from the Auror force and left England a decade ago, but he still receives the Daily Prophet. Today’s issue provides closure on the one case he was never able to officially solve.

📻 MY FRIENDS SAY I SHOULDN'T SEE YOU ANYMORE [T, Digital Art ]

🎵 Song Prompt: bad idea right? by Olivia Rodrigo 🎵 Summary: Both Draco's and Harry's friends don't approve of their little... dalliance. But it's so hard to stay away from each other! Could this be a bit more than just casual?

📻 He Did IT! [Not Rated, Digital Art]

🎵 Song Prompt: No Body, No Crime by Taylor Swift 🎵 Summary: Harry: I think he did it but I just can't prove it, 'Mione!! Hermione: And, what exactly did he do, Harry? Harry: I-, I don't know! Something! He has to! It feels weird every time I look at him!! Hermione: ..... Ron: ...... Ron: Mate... ***** Or, it's sixth year and Malfoy is definitely up to something! Why else would Harry's heart beat so fast every time the stupid git so much as looks at him!?!

📻 A Quiet Life [T, Digital art]

🎵 Song Prompt: A Quiet Life by Teho Teardo & Blixa Bargeld 🎵 Summary: After their relationship becomes public knowledge; after being hounded by the paparazzi; after Draco says enough is enough and leaves London; Harry’s more than happy to follow. After all, a quiet life is all he’s ever wanted.

📻 The Shape I found you in [Not Rated, Digital art]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'The Shape I found you in' by 'Girlyman' 🎵 Summary: But your heart was busy within, Building bomb shelters under your skin. That's the shape I found you in

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic and Art 🎶

📻 Trade My Heart For Honey [M, 64.170, Digital Watercolour]

🎵 Prompt: Water Under The Bridge by Adele 🎵 Summary: A Witch who thinks she’s a Seer, a Seer who thinks she’s a Witch, a former nemesis-turned-something-turned-acquaintance who thinks they could be friends, and a Scottish village full of Muggles who think this is as much their business as the fair folk in the woods. Draco is going to prove them all wrong.

📻 Thunder [E, 11,325, digital]

🎵 Song Prompt: "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac 🎵 Summary: Harry and Ginny are on a break. Harry and Ginny don’t want anyone to know. Harry assumes Ginny is fucking their way through their Quidditch team. Harry punches Draco Malfoy in the face in his free time. Harry considers this a perfectly reasonable coping mechanism. Harry figures that as long as he keeps everything the way that it is, that everything will stay the same, and nothing bad will happen, and Ginny will stay with him, and Malfoy will keep quietly visiting his dreams.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶

📻 You're on Your Own, Kid [E, 44.274]

🎵 Song Prompt: You're on Your Own, Kid by Taylor Swift 🎵 Summary: In August of 1998, Draco leaves behind everything he’s ever known. With the help of two middle-aged lesbians, a Muggle bookshop, and a new best friend, Draco’s future is finally looking up. That is, until Harry Potter wanders back into his life a year later, undoing everything Draco has worked towards. Or, a tale about healing, forgiveness, and living for no one but yourself.

📻 Heartbeat [E, 22,791]

🎵 Prompt: Heartbeat by Childish Gambino 🎵 Summary: Harry hates Draco, and Draco hates him in return. Only it's not hate, not even a little bit. Featuring: a cooperative independent study, golden hour on wrecked sheets, strawberries in the summer at Grimmauld Place, water from fountains of (dubious) origin, purple Mardi Gras beads, and a bird with silly legs. Also featuring: heated arguments, infidelity, unquenchable desire, and heartbreak. Over and over again.

📻 Long for Bliss! [E, 9,400]

🎵 Song Prompt: This Must Be It by Röyksopp 🎵 Summary: Harry has a tough decision to make: take the blue pill or the red pill. He chooses a pink one instead and throws caution to the wind. What blows back comes in the form of a blond fallen angel that talks like he’s the Devil and moves like he’s fucking. Or: Harry tries MDMA for the first time and unexpectedly encounters a mysteriously captivating Draco at KOKO London.

📻 Going Down Swinging [E, 4,661 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh! by Allan Sherman 🎵 Summary: “Who are you?” he asked, feeling around for a truly abominable pair of glasses he fixed firmly above his nose. “I’m Draco,” he answered. “Draco—” He paused. It wasn’t that he couldn’t remember; it was that the memory wasn’t there.

📻 The Most He’s Ever Said [E,16,431]

🎵 Song Prompt: One of Your Girls by Troye Sivan 🎵 Summary: It takes them twenty years.

📻 Draco Malfoy’s Guide to Seduction (DISCLAIMER: not guaranteed to work on one HJ Potter) [M, 11,107 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Push the button' by 'Sugababes' 🎵 Summary: Harry's gorgeous. Draco wants him. Draco's exasperatedly trying to get him to get. the. message.

📻 karma is a (cat) [E, 8,714 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: Karma by Taylor Swift 🎵 Summary: Draco knew that his karma would come one to him one day and make him pay for all the mistakes he made during the war. But he didn’t expect for it to have four legs, white whiskers, and a soft bushy tail.

📻 Kiss and Tell [E, 27,786 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: Kiss and Tell by Bryan Ferry 🎵 Summary: Sometimes, Harry really fucking hated being himself. All he wanted was to be left alone. That, and someone to share his life with. Was that too much to ask? Apparently so. When Harry’s sex-life was plastered across the front page of the Daily fucking Prophet, he decided to get away until it all died down. Unfortunately, trouble had always known how to find him. Would it be possible to forgive the unforgivable?

📻 When the Flood Comes [E, 10,340]

🎵 Song Prompt: Eat Your Young by Hozier 🎵 Summary: Nine years on from the war, Auror Potter is upholding the Ministry of Magic's rule of law. Senior legal counsel Draco Malfoy is challenging it. And absolutely nothing is as it seems.

📻 Never Getting Over You [E, 4,396]

🎵 Prompt: Attention by Charlie Puth 🎵 Summary: Harry finally gets the push he needs to fight for what he's lost after a breakup that no one wanted.

📻 Mermaid [E, 3,000]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Mermaids' by Florence and The Machine 🎵 Summary: “Your magic,” Harry says. “It’s gone.” “It’s a curse,” Draco says, sounding wry. “Courtesy of Aunt Bellatrix. Disown a Black, and you’ll take their magic away, too. Even if their family name is Malfoy.” “What could bring your magic back?” Draco laughs in his ear. “True love’s kiss," he murmurs. And then he turns in Harry’s arms.

📻 Us, infinite (unfortunately) [E, 77,287 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: All Things End by Hozier 🎵 Summary: It’s very fitting for how Harry’s life has gone thus far that he gets trapped in a time loop without rhyme, reason, or warning. To make matters infinitely worse, the one other person stuck on the same hellish chronological ride is Draco Malfoy, git extraordinaire.

📻 I made loving you a blood sport (so let's play) [E, 3,032]

🎵 Song Prompt: Blood Sport by Sleep Token 🎵 Summary: They sat in an odd kind of silence, comfortable in its discomfort. In the predictability of its recklessness. The thing between them was as palpable as the thick smoke in the air, consumed with every breath, and likely just as bad for them.

📻 Everything that can go wrong will go wrong [T, 5,178]

🎵 Song Prompt: If You Were Mine by Leon Bridges and Miranda Lambert 🎵 Summary: “You can move in with me!” Shit. Apparently there was still a possibility to make a fool out of himself to his crush despite his best efforts at minimizing contact. Draco and Andromeda looked at him in record speed, showing their own expressions of confusion. Maybe at his appearing out of nowhere, maybe at his panting that made it seem like he just ran a marathon for some reason, or maybe at his abrupt and impulsive suggestion. Shit. Teddy wasn’t even here to take off the edge—Harry was completely alone in this one. After a pause, Draco fully turned to him with a manner that definitely showed his opinion of how stupid Harry was, and asked, “What?”

📻 Antelucan Ruins [E, 29,453]

🎵 Song Prompt: Ghost by Justin Bieber 🎵 Summary: From the bloody Prophet, Draco discovers Harry Potter’s death splashed in grey ink printed on the front page. Potter is dead before Draco gets to see him again to fulfil a half-spoken promise. And yet, these days Draco has the power to bend the world to his heart’s desires, and that includes fucking Harry Potter even after he personally saw Potter’s pale, lifeless body lying in a coffin before it got buried under the soil. — "Do you realise that you're just as pathetic and insane? You're so hung up on the idea of me that you'd fuck a ghost, Malfoy. You risked your life for it." Draco puts an arm around Potter's body, "Whoever says I am sane? Certainly not me. It's calculated risk with more success rate than failure. And you are dead, Potter. You refuse to move on to the next realm because you crave for my cock."

📻 I've Been There (sitting in that same chair) [Gen, 2,212]

🎵 Song Prompt: The Village by Wrabel 🎵 Summary: People keep knocking on Draco’s door. Draco just wants to read his book (he doesn’t mind, really). Or: Draco gets to be the supportive queer person he’d wished for when he was younger.

📻 Lonely Rivers [M, 7,370]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Unchained Melody' by 'The Righteous Brothers' 🎵 Summary: Six years after the end of the war, Harry takes care of Teddy Lupin and has started to learn guitar. Hermione negotiates with foreign powers. Draco's a trainee Healer with a glam karaoke routine. And when Ron and Parvati decide to get married, they find a job for everyone...

📻 How to Begin [E, 8,478]

🎵 Song Prompt: Blush by Orville Peck 🎵 Summary: Harry is completely, pathetically besotted with his flatmate, Draco. Fuelled by liquid courage, he finally makes his move when he's absolutely sozzled. What could possibly go wrong?

📻 Oneiros [E, 13,125]

🎵 Song Prompt: Enter Sandman by Metallica 🎵 Summary: When contact with a weird vase traps Harry in his nightmares, it's Unspeakable Draco Malfoy's task to rescue him. In order to do so, he will have to face his past and his family history and win a duel of wits against a Morpheus and try to be better than his father each step of the way...

📻 Say When [E, 24,545]

🎵 Song Prompt: Undisclosed Desires by Muse 🎵 Summary: When Auror Harry Potter is sent in undercover to determine if Draco Malfoy is laundering money through his BDSM club, will he be able to keep up the ruse and close the case? Or, more to the point, will he keep from falling in love?

📻 crawlin' helpless on the floor [M, 1,525]

🎵 Song Prompt: Cure For Pain by Morphine 🎵 Summary: It doesn't take much to torment a man when he's three broken contracts away from being out of a job and down a newspaper.

📻 Hell is the talkin' type [E, 7,309]

🎵 Song Prompt: Dinner and Diatribes by Hozier 🎵 Summary: “Morgana, I need a drink,” Draco sighs. “Why did I let you convince me to participate in this torture again?” Harry chuckles. “Because I’m your husband, and you love me?” he offers. “Bah. Remind me not to let myself be so sentimental next time.”

📻 Mr Blue Sky [E, 69,024]

🎵 Song Prompt: ‘Mr. Blue Sky’ by ‘Electric Light Orchestra’ 🎵 Summary: Mr Blue Sky, please tell us why, you had to hide away for so long... After five years, Malfoy had finally escaped house arrest, and he moved in just a few streets down from Grimmauld Place. Overnight, the Daily Prophet seemed to fall in love with him. For his charity work, and his charming smile, and—Harry was sure—his prattish fucking personality. No matter how hard Harry tried, he couldn't stop running into him. He had bigger problems, though. His best friends in the world were having a baby together, which was fantastic, except that they weren't sure he could hold it together well enough to be Godfather. But despite being flat broke, with a dead dad, and no one willing to risk hiring him, Malfoy appeared to be completely in control of the narrative surrounding his newfound freedom. Maybe Harry could learn a thing or two from the best of the best. After all, he had the entire pregnancy to convince Ron and Hermione he was perfectly, entirely, 100% fine. If sometimes he had to fistfight Malfoy about it, well, that was nothing new.

📻 'tis the damn season [M, 2,892]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'tis the damn season by Taylor Swift 🎵 Summary: He doesn’t know why the universe seems to keep placing him in Potter’s proximity every time he returns to London. He doesn’t know how they keep falling into bed, every year, like clockwork. Draco has tried not to question it.

📻 Tecum Ad Astra [M, 3,257]

🎵 Song Prompt: Levitating by Dua Lipa 🎵 Summary: It's Friday night and Harry Potter is relaxing with a good book in front of a crackling fire. But he should be at the club.

📻 Music to my ears [E, 13,190]

🎵 Song Prompt: River flows in You, Yiruma 🎵 Summary: Harry is completely captivated by the beautiful music played on a street piano at a park in Cambridge. He is, however, unprepared for whom the pianist turns out to be.

📻 Pancakes for Dinner [T, 2,176]

🎵 Song Prompt: Pancakes for Dinner by Lizzie McAlpine 🎵 Summary: Draco’s on a trip to visit Harry in his new city at his new job. He’s not brave enough to say how he really feels.

📻 Seasons [E, 9,314]

🎵 Song Prompt: Águas de Março (Waters of March) by Antônio Carlos Jobim 🎵 Summary: Seconds pass, and it’s like he can see Draco worrying the sliver of glass in his heart, looking for a way to press it out, to expose the wound to the sun. It’s life; Harry can be patient.

📻 Two Houses [E, 11,498]

🎵 Song Prompt: Social Cues by Cage the Elephant 🎵 Summary: Two households, both alike in... meddling Floo connections, apparently? Draco Malfoy is a highly professional and well-respected Ministry official, with a demanding schedule, a loving son, and—through no fault of his own—a faulty Floo connection that keeps regurgitating the Minister for Magic through his fireplace.

📻 Perpetual Motion, Perpetual Sound [E, 51,165]

🎵 Song Prompt: Perpetual Motion, Perpetual Sound by Lovers 🎵 Summary: Harry Potter can’t sleep.

📻 Closing Time [E, 18,406]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Closing Time' by 'Semisonic' 🎵 Summary: Draco’s been invited to Neville’s stag party in Bristol, and he's confident he knows what to expect. There’ll be too many Gryffindors, for starters, plus a few humiliating team-building activities, some dodgy clubs, and a truly preposterous level of alcohol consumption. But… a drunken Harry Potter climbing into Draco's bed when he’s having a wank? No, he definitely didn't see that coming...

📻 every scrap of you (you left them all to me) [E, 54,191]

🎵 Song Prompt: marjorie by taylor swift 🎵 Summary: Twelve years on from the war, Harry finds himself in an endless cycle of bedding Draco Malfoy, and waking up alone. Desperate to understand why Draco won't give him a chance to be something more, he commits to courting the slippery blond git. But there's a reason Draco can't fall for him, and Harry will go to the darkest depths to change that.

📻 What are you doing Sunday, baby? [M, 12,034]

🎵 Song Prompt: Disco 2000 by Pulp 🎵 Summary: Draco needs a respectable husband to strengthen his reputation before his in-laws try to take Scorpius from him. Who better than his ex, the independently wealthy, out and proud single father, Harry Potter?

📻 Too Good At Raising Hell [E, 87,462]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Too Good At Raising Hell' by 'The Struts' 🎵 Summary: When Harry Potter walks into Draco’s nightclub looking like trouble, Draco can’t stop staring. He really ought to train his dick not to react so enthusiastically to red flags, but where would be the fun in that?

🎶 H/D Wireless Podfic 🎶

📻 [Podfic] Move, move [T, 54:30 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: Bar Italia by Pulp 🎵 Summary: She grabbed Harry’s hand, slipping something small into it and pressing his fingers around it. “Dilectio. It’ll cheer you up. Make you feel like dancing.” Harry gaped at her. Drugs. Ginny’s fucking giving me drugs? At Stasis nightclub Ginny does indeed give Harry drugs. But it's all good: Malfoy looks after Harry, and Harry grapples with newfound enlightenments, not to mention a newfound fascination with all things Malfoy—one which persists even when he finds out what Malfoy's up to.

📻 [Podfic] A Different Kind of Meaning by p1013 [E, 01:42:57]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Outnumbered' by Dermot Kennedy 🎵 Summary: The ceiling doesn't hold any answers, but there are cobwebs scattered across the corners with shadows tangled in their threads. The rug against his back is rough and scratchy, threadbare and devoid of colours other than various shades of brown. Harry takes it all in, absorbs the dingy and depressed state of his home. There's a pointed moment of decision, a note about to be played, a silence about to end, and then he rolls to his feet and sets to cleaning. It's the first constructive thing he's done in years.

📻 [Podfic] Case of You [Et, 11:48:56]

🎵 Song Prompt: Case of You by Joni Mitchell 🎵 Summary: Draco was doing just fine working as an Unspeakable in Paris, hanging out with his living and ghostly pals, inventing new spells, and definitely not thinking about Potter. Then, Lucius just had to break out of prison and turn his world upside down. Now, Draco has to return to England, where he is forced to confront how family ties bind us—and one infuriatingly fit Harry Potter.

#hd wireless #hd wireless 2024 #drarry #drarry fest #hd wireless anonymous masterpost

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ambiguousfiction · 6 months ago

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MY BANDS FIRST SINGLE & MUSIC VID IS OUT NOW!!

We sound kinda like mychem, Coheed and Cambria & At The Drive In! If you like this snippet, maybe press the link to check the full song??

J made the music video in like. Basically a weekend (including us playing the gig and getting footage from it) which is Ridiculous,,, and they're never gonna see this so I can acknowledge how cool they are (very!) & how awesome that is (VERY!!) without it being weird lmao.

I looove the shot at the end of the MV where you can see us finish the song live and see how like? Pumped I am to be doing music again. This is just so so energising and I'm loving it so much (please don't make us flop so hard it ruins the fun lmao)

If you've read this whole ramble and are still reading... idk how to classify genre & workout soundalikes Nd whatever - what do you think we sound like?

I wasn't expecting so many of y'all to reply too or rb the post asking if ppl would wanna hear abt it, sooo this is me giving y'all a chance to have the first watch/listen as a way of saying saying Ty (cos the track has only been out for 90 minutes so far & Spotify still might not even have it up in Ur timezone if Ur in the states) 💕💕

~ ~ ~ ~

Also thanks to the people who encouraged me to post about the band, I'm gonna be annoying and tag all of you (just this once - unless y'all wanna be on a taglist or something idk? If you do lmk but I'll assume not).

@albatris @saturn-iidae 💕

@nauseakills @tracle0 @multi-lefaiye @chiprupt @shyslyces @va-nila-bean @dilly-dahlying @transmasc-wizard @shiskabubble ,,, dunno why it doesn't wanna tag u??? But I promise I tried :(

#thempath #music #new music #my chemical romance #coheed and cambria #at the drive in #emo #posthardcore #post hardcore #prog #prog rock #pop rock

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teardropsonmyheartstrings · 5 months ago

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OK, I've been debating over this for ages...

Who of you guys is familiar with Stationhead?

I've been listening almost religiously for months now, and I've got questions.

For those who have never seen this name:

Stationhead is an app that can be linked to your Apple Music or Spotify account and allows streaming playlists, so you can share them with others in real time. It includes a chat function and some other little bits and bobs. Artists--including Taylor--occasionally use it for listening parties, where they stream a specific playlist, and fans go nuts in the chat. All good fun. Taylor Nation has an account they use for those listening parties, and they are usually announced beforehand via instagram, etc.

Whenever there is no active listening party, there's still a Swifties channel. There's a whole syndicate that shares the responsibility of keeping the music playing there. They can stream music simultaneously, but only one gets featured "on air" on the channel at any one time. I can't really determine whether those individual hosts are fans, or what, or how they got into the syndicate. But I did notice two things: 1) Just before a listening party, a certain host called "swiftiesss13" tends to take over the channel. Basically while everyone is gathering and waiting for the main event to start. 2) There also seems to be a default host that plays whenever no one else from the syndicate is active. That would be taylorswifties13 (LOVE the 1989 icon 😉).

Please note, that these are all just my observations. I know nothing about the behind the scenes that are going on. If anyone here knows more or thinks I'm spewing utter nonsense, PLEASE fill me in!

Now.

The thing I feel kinda weird about sharing, but which I really would appreciate thoughts on... So, on that default station, the host taylorswifties13 has been playing the same playlist for several months now. I BELIEVE the most recent changes to the playlist occurred around mid November. Specifically, Nov. 15th, IF I'm not mistaken. I'm going by text messages I sent to my friend back then, and my fuzzy memory/awareness of what came before then, because up until then, I'd been listening for months, but hadn't known what to look for. First of all, let me share the playlist that has been in place ever since then:

Note, that since I have no way of knowing for sure, my staring point of Begin Again is perfectly arbitrary. As for the colour coding, red indicates songs from the The Eras Tour setlist. That's 21 tracks out of 47, so close to half. In addition to that, we have tolerate it, which used to be on the setlist, and Florida!!!, which was part of the TTPD set for four shows (London and Miami). I wasn't sure whether to count the latter as a setlist song, or a surprise song, but I'll mostly count it as a surprise song. The tracks in green, are songs she played on her final leg in USA/Canada. Any tracks with an asterisk (*) were surprise songs during the European leg of the tour. Please don't be too confused by all of my annotating and colour coding; it’s all a bit silly on my part, but maybe it's helpful to someone else..? Dunno.

And here's the "juiciest" bit about it all

...assuming I haven't lost you by now.

If you would please direct your attention to tracks 35 and 36:

Gorgeous (track 34) ends, This Love starts playing, but STOPS just a few seconds into the actual verse. If you look at the progress bar, this is exactly how long the song is meant to play. I once tried following it up by adding this song to my Spotify favourites (which you can do via the Stationhead app), but it only gave me the proper version. Very odd. Anyway, I was so puzzled over this almost straight away, but it took me several more months (last week) to think of checking the runtime. Here it gets a bit so-so.... because it's 38 seconds. But not sharp. It's NOT 39 seconds, but it's also not exactly 38. Still. Very strange, kinda tantalising, not quite precise enough for my liking and YET so UNCANNY. On a stopwatch that doesn't show the milliseconds, it certainly WOULD be 38 seconds... 🤷‍♀️ If you are wondering about my reaction time: I also isolated the exact snippet of the track in video editor, and it was under 39 seconds. The whole thing is compounded by the fact that the original Fearless plays right after. The original. EVERYONE in the chat keeps complaining about the "stolen" version. Ok. I get it. But also, why does no one else find it weird?! They are raging, but no one is questioning. In a playlist with ONLY TVs, except the two reputation songs which have no TVs yet. In fact, there's ONLY two rep songs and NO Debut songs. The host is otherwise very mindful of their curation.

For me, the odd skip, followed by this odd OG version immediately brought ONE thing to mind:

This was from Karlie's snapchat stories. It entered the lore officially, when Taylor referenced it in her The Man music video, on the graffiti wall.

Why I think it's relevant and it all fits together?

* This Love (a 1989 song, contains lyrics like "this love came back to me" etc) plays for only a short time, which should raise eyebrows on it's own, but arguably, it also runs for 38 seconds. * OG Fearless (rather than TV) is another way to make you stop and think, but it ALSO is the version that actually was out when the mirror thing happened. There were no TVs yet.

ANOTHER ALSO. The "We Are Fearless" mirror thing happened November 16, 2016. Remember when I THINK the playlist changed to THIS?! Mid November 2024 (15th). At first I thought it was 16th, but I live in Australia, so my 16th isn't America's 16th yet early in the morning, which was when I discovered it. (Dang! 🤣) Anyway, close enough? I want to say "take this with the hugest grain of salt" because I didn't quite have my shit together back then. But in favour of this being odd: I knew about the mirror, I didn't know when exactly it happened. When I searched my text history to find the dates for when I became aware of all this, I STILL didn't know when the mirror thing happened. I found that date on my phone first, before googling the video of the mirror writing, which then conveniently came with an actual date. I was shocked. It just fit too well.

Ok, so far so good.

But I'm still at a loss. As I mentioned before, everyone regularly complains about stolen Fearless. NO ONE ever asks why This Love is cut off. I question on the daily whether I'm just going nuts. Isn't it happening to ANYONE ELSE?! But it has to, as the playlist is streamed. It would mess up the entire timing from thereon, if it didn't happen to everyone at the same time. I'd think you don't have to be a Gaylor to find it strange?!

Oh, and a wee bit more Kaylor...

This really is a minor thing, but did you notice track 22? It just so happens to be the Kendrick Lamar version, as in NOT the exact version from the Eras Tour, but the one from that lovely music video, which features our girls boxing their hearts out 🥵 Not very demure, but feels VERY mindful, no?

I have one last thing to add:

I can't exactly send in evidence for this, as the playlist is super long, but y'all are free to waste some time and fact check me if you don't believe it... the entire playlist runs for 3h03 min (and once again a couple of extra seconds, so not perfectly on the dot, but for a whole playlist that's to be expected). What's that in MINUTES, you may immediately wonder? 183. Thank you very much 🙈

BUT WELL...

Let's think critically here for a moment... I'm either delusional, or this playlist does have "KAYLOR" written all over it. Cool. Fun. BUT HOW DO WE KNOW, that this playlist isn't just made up by one of us? Unfortunately, we don't. Or at least I don't. If any of you could elucidate, I'd be totally thrilled! Things that make me have a wee bit of faith:

It appears to be the default playlist on the Swifties channel

The tracks are very mindful of the TV situation, just like playlists that are coming from a more officially official source: NO Debut, as little reputation as possible, but then the odd one out Fearless OG

This is where the surprise songs come into play: the ratio of non-setlist tracks that were actually played during the America leg of the tour as surprise songs is a bit higher than what I'd expect to be chance alone. I've since tried to come up with random lists of songs and compared them to the actual surprise songs to kinda test this. I fell very short with some, came rather close with others, never quite reached the exact same number, let alone higher. I could be totally wrong, but this list of songs, that was first aired just a few shows into the American leg, contains a suspicious number of surprise songs. Almost like the curator knew that some of them would be played. Dunno. I'm aware that this isn't good evidence, but still something I noticed.

To sum it all up.

This has been driving me insane. I don't know if I see patterns where there are none, or if I see them alright, but the source is just another Kaylor having fun with it. Any thoughts, comments, insights would be MORE THAN WELCOME. What do you think? Is this something random, or is Miss Taylor having a jolly good time messing with us?

#lgbetty #friends of dorothea #gaylor #gaylor swift #kaylor

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ellebellewritesfic · 3 months ago

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All Of The Girls You've Loved Before

I won't copy all the lyrics in because it will take up too much space, but you can listen on Spotify here.

For Day 6 of @empyreanevents Bodhi week: Prompt is Soft.

This sits within The Avenues universe but you don't have to have read it for this to make sense. Thank you to my darling @theoppositequeens and Cassie for the beta 🥰

Read on AO3 here.

---

Bodhi had never really liked silence. Not the kind that filled rooms and stretched on too long, not the kind that left space for thoughts to whisper things you’d rather not hear. At Riorson’s, the clatter of mugs, milk steaming, low conversation and soft music playing – that was comfort. That was certainty. There was a calmness to it that lulled him into a soft, quiet headspace. But now, in the hush of their house, the only sound the soft pulse of rain against the windowpane, Bodhi sat in a kind of silence he didn’t want to escape from.

It had all started when they had bumped into one of Ridoc’s old university friends – someone he, Violet, Rhi and Sawyer had lived with in first year – a stocky guy called Tynan. They had exchanged pleasantries but Tynan’s eyes had lingered on Ridoc like he was a piece of meat, his sleazy gaze practically burning a hole in Bodhi’s boyfriend.

Ridoc had been pleasant but not encouraged the conversation, and thankfully they had been quickly on their way. Bodhi had looked back over his shoulder with a frown.

“What a creep,” he had said, not even bothering to try to hide the disgust in his tone. “Did you see the way he was undressing you with his eyes?”

Ridoc had grimaced – not an expression Bodhi was used to seeing from him. “Yeah… Tynan’s always been like that,” he had admitted. “Sleazy as fuck. We used to hook up back in uni but… he was always a bit of a dick. Used to stand me up all the time, or get with people in clubs right in front of me.” He had frowned. “The devastating part is that I genuinely cried over him once or twice… until I realised I deserved better. So I went out and found better.”

Then he had linked his arm with Bodhi’s and beamed up at him, his smile like sunshine. “Much better. I’d completely forgotten him until we saw him.”

And Bodhi thought that had been the end of it.

Yet still, here he was, and the thought gnawed at him – quiet, persistent. It wasn’t jealousy, not really. It was older than that. Deeper. A quiet worry buried in his chest, the kind that curled tight around the memory of past hurt. That maybe he wasn’t it, not really. That even now, two years in, he was still someone Ridoc had arrived at, not chosen from the start.

He stared at the tea cooling in his hands. “Do you ever think about them?” The question escaped before he could second-guess it. “All the people before me.”

There was no accusation in his voice, and yet it tasted faintly like betrayal on his tongue – not Ridoc’s, but his own. For asking. For needing to ask. For wanting to measure himself against a ghost. Several ghosts, by the sound of it.

Ridoc’s response was unhurried, deliberate. He closed his book – not a flicker of defensiveness in his expression – and turned to Bodhi with the kind of gentle focus that made Bodhi’s stomach knot.

“No,” he said simply, like he had never been more certain of anything in his life. “I only ever think about you.”

Bodhi’s chest almost caved in at the sweet assuredness of his words. Ridoc was so certain, so sure. “But…” he started, but Ridoc cut him off with the press of his finger to Bodhi’s lips.

“No buts,” he said, placing his book to the side. “Bodhi…”

He seemed to be weighing his words carefully – which was unusual for Ridoc who usually talked faster than he thought, but clearly he had grasped the gravity of the question in Bodhi’s aching heart.

“They aren’t you. They never gave me what you give me. They were all names that I don’t remember now, stupid fights, silly notes in class when I was young – but nothing truly memorable. They didn’t truly see me. Not like you do.”

Those four words cracked something open in Bodhi, something tender he didn’t know he was protecting. Everything Ridoc did always seemed so effortless – all sunlit grins and flirtations that clung to him like cologne. It was all too easy to imagine him gliding from one lover to the next, leaving hearts scribbled in the margins of someone else’s diary, never looking back. It was easy to believe that he – Bodhi, quiet and sharp-edged in his own way – had simply slipped into the space left behind.

But now, Ridoc’s gaze held no trace of that recklessness, no trace of the wonderful chaos that usually followed him. Only calm. Steadiness. Love.

“All the girls. The boys, too. The flings. The messes I tried to call relationships…” Ridoc’s voice softened, low and rough like worn denim. “They liked the part of me that made everything feel exciting. Loud. Temporary. But they never stayed for the mornings after. For the silence. They didn’t want the man who overthinks blueprints at two in the morning or burns bright and loud and then crashes after three drinks and falls asleep with the TV still on. They didn’t take care of me, they didn’t wait for me, they didn’t want all the bad bits to go with the good. They didn’t want my history, they didn’t want my worries, my insecurities. They just wanted loud, fun, over-the-top Ridoc who always brought the party.”

Bodhi swallowed thickly. The warmth of the tea had seeped into his fingers, unnoticed.

“You?” Ridoc said, reaching for him, thumb brushing along the inside of his wrist with unbearable tenderness. “You’re the first person who ever waited for me to be quiet. For all of me.”

The words hit harder than Bodhi was prepared for. Not because they were dramatic – but because they weren’t. There was no grand performance here. Just honesty. Steady, unshakeable honesty.

Bodhi hadn’t been seen like this before. His ex, Septon, had loved him, maybe, in his own way. But that love had been conditional, transactional – something always just out of reach. Septon had loved who Bodhi could be with a bit more polish, with less fuss, less mess. He wanted him to quit at Riorson’s and get a “proper job” so they could be “proper adults”, and Bodhi was ashamed he had considered it. He had spent two years bending his spine into someone else’s idea of love, mistaking tolerance for devotion.

But Ridoc – he didn’t ask Bodhi to shrink. He handed him space and let him fill it however he needed to. He listened when Bodhi spoke in tangents, when his anxiety spun spirals around the simplest things. He laughed at his deadpan humour and knew when not to laugh. He took him seriously, even when Bodhi didn’t. He was proud of his job, proud of what he had built, and that made Bodhi want to be more – to build from something safe and whole and loved.

“They made me the kind of person who’d never let someone like you feel second-best,” Ridoc said, the words barely more than breath.

Bodhi reached for him then. The hoodie slipped off his shoulder, exposing the pale curve of his collarbone, and Ridoc’s eyes dropped to the sight like it was a secret he’d been promised. The kiss that followed wasn’t hungry. Not yet. It was slow. Careful. Reverent, like a blessing drawn in the dark.

Soft.

Bodhi leaned into it, mouth parting slightly beneath Ridoc’s, letting the warmth flood through him. Ridoc slid the mug of tea from his fingers to the bedside table, and it was quickly forgotten. All he could feel now was the press of Ridoc’s hands at his waist, grounding him. The way their noses brushed in the kiss, almost shy. The way Ridoc’s palm curved around the back of his neck like he was something precious.

The kiss deepened, and with it, the tension curled low in Bodhi’s stomach. Ridoc kissed like he was memorising him – not just his mouth, but the sounds he made, the way he tilted his head just so, the way his breath hitched when Ridoc grazed his bottom lip with teeth.

Bodhi's hands fumbled at the hem of Ridoc’s T-shirt, sliding up beneath it to rest against the warm, taut plane of his abdomen. Ridoc hissed in a breath, not in pain, but like the contact had scorched him. He shrugged the shirt off in a practiced motion, and Bodhi paused – for just a second – to take him in. There were freckles dotted across his chest, a faint scar near his ribs, and something unguarded in his expression that made Bodhi ache.

“You’re not a mistake,” Ridoc murmured, almost as if reading his thoughts. “You’re not a consolation. You’re the one I chose when I could’ve kept drifting. When I wanted to stop. All of them – they mean nothing. All they did was lead me to you – make me love you all the more. You are perfect. You are amazing.”

Bodhi surged up to kiss him again, this time with more need. His fingers curled into Ridoc’s shoulders, feeling the strength there, the steady heartbeat beneath the skin. Ridoc manoeuvred them gently, laying Bodhi back against the pillows, never breaking contact. The hoodie was tugged off and discarded, lips trailing along Bodhi’s collarbone, his jaw, the shell of his ear.

“Let me show you,” Ridoc whispered, voice rough with sincerity.

And Bodhi let him.

Let him press kisses down his chest, slow and open-mouthed, until Bodhi’s skin felt too hot, too tight. Let him touch with intention, not to provoke, but to worship — the way his fingers lingered at his hipbones, the dip of his waist, the curve of his thighs. Each moment built on the last, a crescendo of connection rather than just desire.

There were no masks here. No performances. Just heat and breath and the quiet, shuddering gasp of Bodhi’s name spoken like it meant everything.

When Ridoc finally slid inside him – slow, careful, with a reverence that made Bodhi's eyes sting – it wasn’t about release. It wasn’t even about pleasure, though that bloomed and burned between them like fire catching in dry leaves.

It was about knowing. About being known.

Bodhi clutched at Ridoc’s back, felt the muscles tense and flex, felt Ridoc press his forehead against his shoulder, whispering things that made Bodhi tremble: You’re it for me. I see you. I love you. No one’s ever made me feel like this is enough. I love you, I love you, I love you.

And when they finally collapsed together in the aftermath, tangled and breathless, their skin damp and their hearts racing in tandem, Bodhi curled into the warmth of Ridoc’s chest and believed him.

The rain still whispered against the window, steady and constant. But inside, there was only peace. The kind of quiet Bodhi knew he didn’t need to fear.

The kind that meant home.

“I love you,” Ridoc whispered, pressing a kiss to Bodhi’s curls.

Bodhi smiled, squeezing his boyfriend tight, before smirking into his chest.

“But I love you more.”

#fourth wing #the empyrean #fanfic #bodhi durran #ridoc gamlyn #bodoc

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saltyxsweet · 2 days ago

Text

august music prompt!

*[[music is a huge inspiration for my characters and writing. i thought this prompt would be fun to explore in a way that it details akari's ringtones for her contacts. these are her summer anthems for her connections and her friends. pink text is linked to actual songs on spotify!]]

as her phone began to bling with texts, she knew it was agatha texting her, thanks to lizzo - phone blaring while she rushes around her dorm to find where akari lost the phone!

Where the hell my phone? Where the hell my phone? Where the hell my, where the hell my phone, huh? How I'm 'posed to get home? Where the hell my phone?

success! so, akari begins immediately texting her friend, asking her for a call. apparently there was a new hot party in the middle of the city and agatha knew all the details. when the pair arrives, it's a blacklit party! people are half naked or painted with neon glowing body paint splashed across their frames. she looks to her friend with excitement and a loud squeal as they rejoice together. "how did you find this place?!"

Good evening, students Grab your hot girl Bibles Chapter 22, let's begin

the dancefloor is bumping with bodies, akaria is so beyond impressed at her friend's skill to find such an enticing party!

Welcome to the Bad Bitch Academy (welcome) Welcome to the Bad Bitch Academy (Bitch, dance with me) Grab a seat, grab a seat

~~~~~

fast asleep, she hasn't taken notice to the phone and the many missing messages. while her phone is on vibrate typically, akari left the ringer on so calls could pour through when on silent mode. in her slumber, she snuggles into her blankets a little more, trying to ignore it.

Say my name, I want the neighbors to hear it Want your body to feel it Boy, you know if there's a heaven, I'm near it Yeah, I promise, my dear, it's Only you who has my body and heals it I'm the one, can you feel it?

it's only when the chorus kicks in that akari realizes it's actually lucas calling her this late at night. her arm reaches lazily, knocking the phone onto the floor with a clatter. akari can remember the song being on at lucas's dorm one night when they were roughhousing, just a typical occurrence while they play fought over something silly. and then he kissed her, changing the moment entirely. not that that was a problem at all.

"shit," tossing with a groan, the phone continued the chorus as she tried her best to wake up enough to answer it.

Darlin', can I be your favorite? I'll be your girl, let you taste it I know what you want, yeah, just take it (take it) Darlin', can I be your favorite? Want you to tell me you crave it My name's whatever you make it (make it)

she's rolling out of the covers, her warm cocoon now gone. fishes for her phone and answers it successfully, "you're still awake, liu?" groggy, akari rubs her left eye with her hand. "no, no, i was awake."

~~~~~~~

practicing her illustrations, akari is in some deep space, nothing can reach her. that is, until her phone begins playing a song she rarely hears.

It's so silly of me to act like I don't need you bad When all, all I can think about is us since I seen you last I know I didn't have to walk away All I had to do was ask for space I'm telling you, be on your way When I told you to fall back

it takes akari a long moment to think of even answering minjoon. in fact, she lets it play and play. what if it's something important, kari?

So can you come pick up your clothes? I have them folded Meet me at the door while it's still openI know it's getting cold out, but it's not frozen So come pick up your clothes I have them folded

"what is it, joon?" her voice sounds grated slightly, she was in her zone. "i'm kind of in the middle of something. i'm sorry, can i stop by later?" though, she wonders if that's a dangerous idea for a moment. then, she decides it's not. she's over joon.. they split mutually and for multiple reasons. "that-- that came out harsher than i wanted. i'm sorry. i can meet you in about an hour?" while they weren't perfect, she was still his friend and there for him.

after finishing most of her illustration, her mind wanders back to when she first heard 'folded' at a little coffee café during a rainy day. it felt appropriate for the situation at the time and so the ringtone just stuck for minjoon.

~~~~~~~~

she was running late to meet up with miyeon, racing around their dorm room to gather her usual bags for hobby store shopping. she loops her camera around her neck and her phone began to buzz violently in her purse with the ringtone blaring.

Saw your face, heard your name Gotta get with you Girls like girls, like boys do, nothing new Isn't this why we came? Gotta get with you Girls like girls, like boys do, nothing new Girls like girls, like boys do, nothing new

"i know! i'm on the way!" she finally stammers before akari rushes out of her dorm with a quick slam shut before locking it. they were meant to venture to this new french café somewhere in the middle of the city. she couldn't recall the name but foreign food sounded amazing and she was ready.

~~~~~~~~~

"eunchae, i swear. i'm okay!" she tries to argue but the younger classmate seems so concerned. akari was practicing tennis on her own and twisted her ankle pretty badly. curse her for not stretching first. after a short discussion on being in the nurse's bay, not needing the extra help, she hopes it's enough to ward eunchae off her back and dispel her worries. buuuuuut,

Girls' Generation make you feel the heat전 세계가 ��를 주목해B-bring the boys out위풍도 당당하지, 뼛속부터 넌 원래 멋졌어, *you know the girls* B-bring the boys out

apparently, eunchae was really worried. that sunshine never seems to stop radiating from that girl. "i promise, you can come over if you want but i'm fine." the first time she heard the song was when she realized she fell in love with korean pop music. and, well, it seems a fitting tone for the two girls since they are bombshells.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I turn my camera on I cut my fingers on the way On the way (on the way) I feel me slippin' away

oh no! micah was calling! she entirely forgot to drop off his camera after borrowing it for the project they had a deadline on. she's had barely developed the photos the night prior but spaces out running by his dorm to drop it off right after. she hoped he would still play stardew valley tomorrow night despite the disappointment of her lateness with the camera.

"fuck, micah. i am so sorry for being that forgetful." her bluntness obvious whenever akari is frustratred with herself. "i'll be right over, okay? thank you so much again. you're the best."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*[all of these songs and more can be found on akari's official playlist which is located here on spotify. hope you all enjoyed reading this as i enjoyed writing it!

#dg:prompt2 #self para.#featuring: agatha.#featuring: lucas.#featuring: minjoon.#featuring: miyeon.#featuring: micah.#featuring: eunchae.#this got long so if you read it #thank you!!!#meanwhile insomnia strikes again lol

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robinyourcreator · 3 months ago

Note

For the character ask thing: 5, 11, 12 and 19 for Adana and Alde; 11, 12 and 19 for Tristana <3

oh wow!! so many :o thank you Elle <33333

questions from here!

under a cut for length

5) How did you choose their name and why? Was it simply based on vibes or is there any specific meaning behind the name? Are the reasons behind their name different in- and out of universe?

answered here for both :D

11) Is there any existing character from other media that your character resembles? Was the resemblance intentional or was it a coincidence?

Alde: answered here already and im still wheezing about that realization. gdi.

Tristana: Every mean girl in a high school movie (how she is) and every Bond girl (how she thinks she is)? ;) Perhaps a little mean of me to put it that way. She is a bitch and she knows it and she revels in it. She Thinks (and also thinks she knows) She Is Better And Hotter Than You. The parallels to Shadowheart are real and intentional, though. That's what makes their story so fun :D

Adana: Not intentionally, no. There's a bit of a great many magical girls and superheroes in her, especially in her deliberate choice to be the way that she is, to value kindness and decency to to other people over even her own life, but no, not any one specific inspiration. Beau has advised me, "just call (her) one part Indiana Jones one part the cat that the delinquent saves to indicate he has a heart of gold." (the former being the act she puts on, the latter being her whole martyr without a cause schtick)

ANSWER CANCELLED I TOTALLY FORGOT A COUPLE

Incidental resemblance, because I made Adana before I played FHR: Julia Ortega from the Fallen Hero series. That lovable goof persona over a very smart and calculating interior and so so so SO many problems underneath is very very similar energy to Adana.

Not intentional but not un-intentional, either because this media really really shaped me: Nanami Touko from Bloom Into You, because she also Did This To Herself. She doesn't have to be like this; no one was pushing her to be like this. Her response to trauma is to become the most perfect person imaginable and never ever ever let anyone close who's charmed by that persona because she hates (just. UNIMAGINABLE levels of self-loathing towards) the person underneath it.

12) Do you have a playlist for the character? What songs do you associate with them and why?

I do have playlists for all of them! And also for their respective component ships lmao. I can't link them, I don't use spotify at all, they're just on my phone. damn, am i gonna go have to learn how to make spotify playlists now. probably not.

wow this is a really eclectic mix i do not want to make this a public playlist and im not sure i even still agree with many of these anymore. BUT! here's a couple i still stand by for them.

Alde: I of the Storm by Of Monsters and Men, ("I am a stranger, I am an alien, inside a structure. Are you really gonna love me when I'm gone? With all my thoughts? And all my faults?") Lemniscate (The Place Between Sleeping and Awake) by Crywolf ("I'm just a waste of skin, but love is seeping through my pores. Oh dear, I long to be your warmth.")

Adana: Heaven/Hell by CHVRCHES ("Am I real if you can see right through me?") Catch My Breath by Kelly Clarkson, ("I won't be told what's supposed to be right!")

Tristana: OH BOY hers are all fun, they're either really edgy or about being a massive bitch and I love this for her.

Of course Lies by CHVRCHES makes the list. It's just gotta. ('Tether' as well, as it is the source of her fic's title.)

But truthfully, what I listen to most while writing for her is uhhhh FACT by Hololive 4th Generation vtuber & idol Tokoyami Towa. it's such a fun song. A sample of the lyrics translated into English, "Hiding behind casual cues, I'll let you know the answer soon enough, Covered in smiling lies, I'll accept you as you rejected me, come on, let me hear you scream."

If you like JPOP at all I highly recommend it. it's a fuckin bop.

19) What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?

Alde: I do kind of love that she's such a sad pathetic wet cat. Look at her! Look at this scrungly, snuggly little mass murderer who almost ended the world. She's adorable. It's such a force multiplier for her sweetness, to me. I love her so much. As for least favorite... I suppose sometimes I wish she had a bit more nuance, maybe some more principles. Alde is about as neutral as they come, but she is inching her way toward neutral good once she's made her paladin oath towards the end of Act 3. (Ancients, to Selûne) Nothing and no one really matters to Alde, unless they make themselves matter by endearing themselves to her first. Which is! Pretty easy to do! But there are no principles up there. She was ready to go on a killing spree to beg Murder Daddy for help & his forgiveness when Orin yoinked Adana, and it took the whole camp piling on top of her to talk her out of it. She still has some of her villain sensibilities, I suppose. Which is part of her charm! But I fear she may never grow out of them.

Adana: I was in love with Adana pretty much from her inception. I've poured a lot of what I want to be into her. I hope to be capable of her grace, and genuine goodness, and good humor someday, I really do. She has charmed me as much as she charms everyone she interacts with. As for my least favorite... I write from Adana's perspective the least because she is soooooo fucking anxious underneath (like a beautiful swan kicking like mad under the water) it makes me anxious in turn and kind of stresses me out to write her. it is endearing as well, but also very FRUSTRATING. she looks much better from a distance, and she would prefer everyone keep that distance, apparently INCLUDING ME!!!!

Tristana: That she is a massive bitch (affectionate) and that she is a massive bitch (mean to my wife.) If you'd just be CONSISTENTLY nice to my wife you WOULDN'T HAVE any of these problems!!! you could be KISSING her already! but nooooooo you have to be a massive child and lash out whenever anything doesn't go your way. sigh. (I do also love this for her but it has ruined ALL of my outlines. I didn't think the woman who's pretty much still mentally 19 years old due to memory wipes and never had to deal with consequences to her actions in her life [also due to memory wipes] would be such a child! shocking. i know. can you BELIEVE she's never learned any coping mechanisms beyond running to darkness mommy. can you BELIEVE????)

#robin vs gates #adana taveth #merciful alde #sharran taveth #tristana bergen

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theraggedygirl11 · 2 months ago

Text

I found in you what was lost in me

CHAPTER 2 : I tried to picture me without you but I can’t

TITLE OF THE CHAPTER: Immortals - Fall out Boy

CHAPTER 1 - CHAPTER 3

PAIRING: Jan Peteh/Nace Jordan

WARNINGS: blood drinking, blood and injury, death of a main character (but he'll be back dont worry), implied suicide/suicidal thoughts, deperation (lmao), hurt/comfort, human/vampire relationship, some historical chapters, flashbacks, mostly edited, hint of jankris

WORDS COUNT: 5.285

LINK: AO3

NOTES: Hello! Back again with chapter 2, this time earlier just because I was planning to post every weekend, but I coudn't do it because of work.

This chapter is still set in the past, during a specific event that reshaped Europe. I just wanted to play with some historical events lmao the next one is in the present days, so don't worry

Also, I would like to thank user Xx_Owl_xX on AO3 for giving me an idea in the comments of chapter 1. Changes will be made for future chapters, but the main plot won't be touched

PLAYLIST: Youtube - Spotify

Sunsets, Sunrises, Living the dream, watching the leaves, changing the seasons Some nights I think of you Reliving the past, wishing it’d last, wishing and dreaming Seasons they will change, life will make you grow, death can make you hard, hard, hard Everything is temporary, everything will slide, love will never die, die, die

I know that birds fly in different direction I hope to see you again Birds fly in different directions So fly high, so fly high

When the moon is looking down Shining light upon your ground I’m flying up to let you see That the shadow cast is me

I know that birds fly in different directions I hope to see you again Birds fly in different directions So fly high, so fly high So fly high, so fly high So fly high, so fly high

Birds - Imagine Dragons feat. Elisa

1.346 AD

Jan, Gaspar and Majda are back to the lands where they were born. Many things have changed since their leaving. Nauportus now has a German name, Ober Laybach, and Aemona is now Laibach.

The aristocratic families have changed too, Jan can’t recognise any of the new names in charge of ruling those lands. He feels like a stranger in a strange land, even though he lived there centuries ago.

They stop the carriage in front of an inn, then Jan gets down. He inhales deeply the new smells. Everything is so new and unfamiliar.

“I'll go in and see if they have two vacant rooms for us,” announces Gaspar while getting down the coach.

Jan nods. “I’m going for a walk in the city. I want to see how much it's changed.”

“Be careful, Lord Jan.”

He smiles back at him. “I'm always careful, my lovely Gaspar.”

He finds himself in a market on the outskirts of the city. Many farmers and merchants are there to sell their products, so he seizes the opportunity to take a look at the various stands. The fabrics are luxurious, probably from the Flandres. The jewels shown on a stand are made of gold and amber from the Baltic region, so they are pretty expensive. Jan even tries some food offered by the vendors and buys some sweets for Majda and Gaspar, they’ll love them.

Jan’s attention gets captured by a weirdly familiar scent. No, that’s impossible, he’s dead! Why is there his scent here, in the middle of a crowded market? He looks around, looking for him frantically. And then he finds him. He’s standing there, talking to another man. He’s so young, but he could recognise that face everywhere.

Ignac Jordan is there, alive, breathing, heart beating. He can hear his voice too while he replies to the person who is his friend, Jan supposes.

He died in his arms, centuries ago. He was there when they buried him. And he’s human. How can he still be alive?

Without realising it, Jan’s walking towards him, pulled by God knows what spell.

“Hey, man, what are you looking at?” Ignac's friend asks Jan, dragging him back to reality.

Ignac turns and glances at Jan. Their eyes meet and shivers run down his spine. It’s him, it's actually him, he could recognise those eyes everywhere. And his scent is so intense that Jan’s head almost started spinning.

“S-sorry,” he answers a few seconds later. “I thought you were someone I knew.”

Jan turns immediately and goes away. He catches a “foreigners are always weird” coming from Ignac’s friend, before starting to run towards the inn where he left his two traveller companions. He basically bursts into Majda and Gaspar’s room. He’s hyperventilating.

“Lord Jan, what hap-”

“I saw Ignac at the market,” Jan interrupts Gaspar. “Ignac was there.”

“Ignac died centuries ago.”

“I know!” Jan raises his voice. “I know, Gaspar, but I saw him! I’m not insane! He was there, his voice, his eyes, his scent-he’s alive! And younger!” He looks at his friend right in the eyes.

“Lord Jan, breathe and have a sit, please,” Majda attempts to make him calm down, talking with a slow and caring voice.

Jan sits on one of the chairs around the small table in the room.

“Tell us what you saw.”

And he tells them everything, describing every small detail. He sees that Majda believes him, while Gaspar is sceptical, his facial expression is eloquent.

“Why would he be alive? Is he some kind of sorcerer? Is he born again?” Gaspar asks.

“He’s human. I didn’t smell magic around him. He’s completely human.”

“Then this doesn’t make any sense. Why is he here?”

Jan grabs his head between his hands and closes his eyes. “I don’t know, Gaspar,” he whines.

It has been over a century since the last time his mind showed him Ignac. He thought he was over him and his feelings for him, but those few seconds destroyed the fortress he built with so much difficulty inside his mind to prevent his past memories from making him suffer again.

“What if we look for him?” Suggests Majda.

“We don’t know his scent, and Laibach is a big city,” replied Gaspar, sighing.

“I know his scent,” Jan joins the conversation.

“Lord Jan, it’s an awful idea letting you go around the city while searching for this phantom Ign-”

“He’s not a phantom!” Jan shouts, his eyes are red and his fangs are on display. “I know what I saw, he was real!”

Gaspar recoils and lowers his head. It is so unusual seeing Jan using his authority over his loyal friends. After all, he was their sire, he turned Majda and Gaspar and they were still a step below him in this “hierarchy”.

“I will go looking for him, and you won’t stop me.”

“Yes, My Lord.”

Jan knows it is the worst choice possible, but he needs to see him again. He knows that his mind and his ability to think straight are clouded. He knows these are his instincts that took control over his rationality. Nothing was ever rational when Ignac was involved. No demon of the night can think with sanity when they fall in love. Yes, because he fell in love with Ignac centuries ago, and he’s still in love with him.

When they settled in the Flandres, Jan talked with a local demon of the night, Niklas. He told him he fell in love with a human girl a couple of centuries before. And he almost completely lost his mind because of his feelings towards this human, just because she was his mate. He was lucky though, because she loved him back and she accepted to be turned and they had been together ever since. Niklas was surprised by Jan’s control over his feelings, but he warned him that someday, even if he locked his memories in a corner of his mind, all that might come back like a storm in the open sea. And he won’t be prepared. Something always makes a demon of the night snap. They are animals, in the end, and their ability to control themselves is always on thin ice because they are creatures guided by strong emotions and intense desires, especially when their mate is involved. Jan remembers a conversation he had with Niklas.

“So…you think he was my mate?” Jan asked.

“He might have been,” Niklas nodded. “But you didn't get the chance to taste him, so the bond didn't start, or explode, actually.”

“Taste him? What do you mean?”

“The bond is there, but tasting your mate with a kiss or drinking their blood will fully trigger the bond. You might snap, but it won’t destroy you because you won't have the chance to smell his scent again. Maybe something will make you think about him and you’ll be confused or uncomfortable, but it will last maybe a couple of days.”

But Niklas didn't imagine what the future had in store for Jan. This new fleeting and unexpected encounter made Jan snap. He needs him, he needs to see him again, smell his scent, even bite him for the first time, just to taste his blood at least once before losing him again.

He stands up and exits the room in silence, going back to the streets and looking for his human, the urge to be with him guiding his every movement.

He walks the city, smelling the air trying to detect Ignac’s scent. The sun is set when he finally finds a familiar trace. He follows it until he reaches a tavern that has few tables outside. One of them is occupied by young guys. Among them Jan recognises Ignac’s friend, but Ignac isn't there. And yet his scent is there.

He covers his head with the hood of his cloak before getting near the tavern. He catches his scent again, so he follows it with quick steps. He doesn't want to lose him.

He finds him just in time: two huge men grab him and push him against the wall of a building. One of them has a knife in his hand and is pointing it against Ignac’s chest.

“Let him go,” he orders while unsheathing his dagger and lowering his hood.

“Oh, another moron to rob, it's our lucky night,” laughs scornfully the one with the knife.

“Don't underestimate me,” Jan shows a daring smile.

One of the toughs attacks Jan, but the demon is faster and stronger, so he dodges him and with a quick move grabs his arm and breaks it, making him scream from the pain. At that point both run away, leaving Jan and Ignac alone. Ignac sighs.

“Thank you, you saved me.”

“You're welcome.”

“Wait, you are the foreigner from the market,” he recognises him. “Are you following me?”

“No, no, I…was just taking a walk. I can't sleep. By chance I was here.”

“Thanks again, then,” Ignac smiles and Jan's heart almost melts. He missed his sweet smile more than he missed his scent.

“May I accompany you to your accommodation?”

“Oh, uhm…yeah, sure,” says Ignac, even though he’s a bit hesitant. Jan can smell his insecurity from where he stands, in the end the human doesn’t know him.

They begin walking, side by side.

“You talk in a funny way, like you studied an older version of our language,” Ignac tries to chat to his “companion”.

“Yeah, I know. I was born in the North, my ancestors moved there to work, they were merchants, but they both tried to teach our language to their children and so I know this weird Slavic language,” Jan explains. Well, it’s neither entirely false nor completely true.

“Why did you decide to come back to these lands?”

“I wanted to see where my ancestors were born and raised.” And I missed my home, he mentally adds, but he can’t say those words out loud.

“If I may ask, where are your ancestors from?”

“Nauportus-” he stops and whispers a curse. “No, it’s Ober Laybach, I keep mixing the old name.”

Ignac giggles and Jan blushes.

“Don’t worry, in my hometown people keep using the Latin name because they despise the German one. I’m from Chrainburch, or Carnium, however. My parents told me about an ancient ally my family had in Nauportus.”

“An ally?”

“Yes, a man from the local aristocratic family, some Peteh.”

“Jan Peteh?”

“Yes, him!” Ignac exclaims.

“He’s my ancestor. I’m a Peteh, too.”

Ignac’s eyes widen for the surprise. “Really?”

“My name is Jan Peteh, I was named after my ancestor.”

Ignac laughs. “Oh, my lord in the sky, these coincidences are too much. I was named after one of my ancestors too, the one who made the alliance between our family possible. I’m Ignac Jordan.”

“W-What a coincidence, truly,” replies Jan, looking at the human.

It’s him. He’s completely reborn and he has the same name too. Destiny and deities sometimes have a weird irony in their actions and plans.

From that day on they decided to keep in contact and meet regularly with the purpose to reunite their families. Jan learned that Ignac’s family is made of successful merchants and that he lives in Laibach because he is studying there privately with professors from Venice and Vienna because he wants to improve the family trade. He added that he is also studying how to take care of animals on his own because he likes them. Jan on the other hand told him about his life in the North. Fortunately, he wasn’t forced to lie on that, he just skipped all the stuff connected to his vampiric side.

They quickly become good friends. Jan loves spending time with Ignac, he feels more relaxed when he’s with him, even though his desire to feed on him gets stronger and stronger every day. To keep his control over his thirst, he hunts almost every day, drinking human or animal blood. It’s unhealthy, yes, but he doesn’t want to give him up.

Thus, two years pass. Jan bought a house for himself, Gaspar and Majda where he regularly welcomes Ignac. There they can be freer and not follow the etiquette requested for public meetings between people of high station.

It’s the end of summer. The temperatures are still warm, the sun shines, but Jan and Ignac are in Jan’s living room, sitting so close on a couch. Jan keeps his legs on the cushions, bent behind him, his elbow lies on the backrest and his head rests on his hand. He’s looking at Ignac with dreamy eyes and a sweet smile, like he himself hanged the stars in the sky.

“Have you ever been in love?” Ignac asks all of a sudden.

“Yes, it happened. And I’m still in love right now.”

“How…does it feel to be in love?” Ignac turns towards Jan.

Jan doesn't answer right away. They belong to two different species. What Jan feels is what a human feels? He doesn’t know, but he wants to give him an answer.

“To me, it feels like being in the right place when I’m with the person I love. I feel relaxed, my demons cease to torment me,” he replies while looking his human in the eyes. “Because that person is the light that helps me find my way in the darkness, the only star in the dark night sky on which I can rely because they will guide me home.”

Ignac diverts his look and lays it on his hands on his own lap. “I hope this person knows how important she’s to you.”

Did his voice stutter? Was it shaking? Is Jan smelling sadness coming from him? He’s confused by Ignac’s reaction.

“This person is not a she.”

Ignac lifts his head and his eyes return on Jan. “Not a she?”

Jan shakes his head. “I never mentioned a woman,” this time is Jan who lowers his eyes. “I fell in love with a man, years ago. But I don’t know if he feels the same. I never asked him. I’m too scared of a rejection, so I stay by his side, concealing my love for him,” Jan’s eyes return to Ignac. He can’t decipher his facial expression, and his scent is a mixture of so many emotions. “I’m happy to be by his side, even if I want more from him. But we can’t be tog-”

Jan can’t even finish his sentence because Ignac shuts him up, laying his lips on Jan’s, cupping his face with his hands. After the initial shock because he didn’t expect this, Jan kisses him back, keeping his eyes closed to dive into what he’s feeling in that moment. Shivers run down his entire body, his mind tries to not black out, overwhelmed by Ignac’s taste on Jan’s lips. He’s…he’s everything. He’s…mate.

When they interrupt that intense kiss, Jan lays his forehead against Ignac’s and pants. He puts his trembling hand on Ignac’s chest to feel his heart vibrations caused by its beatings.

All those emotions, all those feelings, Jan can’t hold them inside of him, so he starts crying of joy. He kissed him! He finally kissed him! After three centuries!

Ignac welcomes him in his arms and wraps him with them. Jan grabs his jacket between his fingers and hides his face against his chest. He inhales his scent, he feels again at home, in his safe space.

��I hope my kiss wasn’t so bad that it made you cry,” Ignac tries to ease the situation after a long silence.

“Y-your kiss was perfect,” Jan replies, lifting his head to meet his eyes. “I’m just so happy that my love is requited.”

They kiss again, this time it’s more tender. And this first kiss leads to another and to another one until Jan straddles Ignac’s lap. He shudders when he feels Ignac’s hands grabbing his waist. He lets out a whine against his lips. The human winces. He’s getting horny, Jan recognises excitement in his scent and it’s intoxicating.

Jan wants. He wants him so much. He wants to sink his fangs in his neck and drink his blood, it must be delicious. He moves his hands in Ignac’s hair and clutches some of his strands, bending his neck so he has free access to it. He kisses his hot skin, inhaling his scent, now more intense because his body is getting hotter and hotter. His mind is clouded by that smell, he barely realises that his fangs are now sharp and that he’s ready to bite him. He opens his mouth and when he’s about to pierce his soft skin and sink his fangs deep into his flesh, someone knocks on the door of the room. Jan stops.

“Who is it?” He almost growls.

“It’s me, Lord Jan. I need to talk with you. It’s an urgent matter,” says Gaspar behind the closed door.

Both Jan and Ignac are panting. It takes Jan a few seconds to regain control over his instincts.

“I-I’m coming.”

He stands up, but Ignac grabs his wrist and pulls him closer to kiss him on the lips again. Jan smiles at him, then goes out of the room to talk to Gaspar. They move to the library.

“What is this urgent matter?”

“You almost bit Lord Ignac. Be honest.”

“I was totally in control.”

“No, you weren’t, Lord Jan. Both Majda and I felt it, and we were downstairs.”

Jan diverts his look. Gaspar is right, but he won’t admit it.

“How much do you want him? And be honest, Lord Jan.”

“...I’m feeding every day,” Jan admits. He usually feeds every three or four days, but he can reach a week if necessary. His thirst got worse since the day he smelled Ignac’s scent again.

“Every day?” Gaspar’s eyes widen. “Every single day?”

Jan nods slowly.

“Why didn’t you tell us? We are here to help you!”

“Because I don’t want you to take him away from me!” Jan raises his voice. “Because now I have the chance to be happy with him! He loves me back, he doesn’t have a family to take care of! We can finally be together!”

“This isn’t healthy for you, Lord Jan. It’s dangerous. You are feeding everyday because you can’t control yourself when you are with him! You will kill him and you won't realise it until it's too late.”

“No!” Jan shouts. “I won’t! He’s too important to me!”

“And you barely manage to control your thirst. Next time you are alone with him, you will slip because your desire to bite is greater than any positive emotion you are feeling towards him.”

Gaspar’s words hit him like a dagger through the heart. Nikolas warned him about this. They feel emotions differently from humans, theirs are stronger, more intense and end up fogging their mind completely to the point that some creatures of the night kill their love interest indeed.

Jan falls on his knees and starts weeping convulsively.

“I-I love him, Gaspar. I-I met him again because some entity wants us to be together, I can't give him up, not again,” Gaspar kneels in front of him and lays a hand on his shoulder. “I found in him what I lost when I became this monster. I feel human again when I’m with him. I feel loved. The demon completely disappears when he looks at me. Please, I need him.”

“And you also need to learn to control yourself when he’s around, Lord Jan. For your safety and his. It’s better if you don’t see each other until you regain your control. We can leave for a bit and then come back.”

Jan wraps his chest with his own arms. He just got him and he’s about to lose him again, even if it’s for a short period of time.

“F-Fine. W-We’ll leave Laybach,” he consents, defeated.

* * *

They leave the next day. Jan explains to Ignac that he has to go because “some stuff occurred” and he needs to take care of what happened. He adds that he doesn’t know how much time he’ll need, but he assures him that he will do everything to come back to Laybach as soon as possible.

While they are away from every human settlement, a terrible disease from the East lands on the continent. Humans fall ill and die in a few days after the first symptoms, very few of them can barely survive it. Jan, Gaspar and Majda don’t get to know about this pandemic until they come back to Laybach a month after their departure.

The city is deserted, they meet only people dressed in black and with a weird white mask with a huge beak. The smell is loathful, Jan almost throws up, so he covers his nose and mouth with a piece of fabric.

Gaspar stops one of those humans dressed in black with that weird white mask. “What happened here?”

“The Black Death, that’s it. God is punishing us with an incurable sickness. I suggest you go away and hide in the woods. It’s safer there.”

“Incurable sickness?” Jan mutters, in his mind a single name appears. “Ignac!” Then starts sprinting directly towards Ignac’s house.

No, no, no, please, don’t be dead. Please! He thinks, terrified of finding his corpse. When he arrives at his destination, the door of Ignac's house is wide open. He enters the building, but Ignac is nowhere to be seen, and neither is his housekeeper. His scent is feeble, days old. He goes back on the street and meets another of those weird men in black with the white mask.

“Where are the inhabitants of this house?”

“If you don’t find them inside, they are probably dead or at the nunnery outside the city, up north,” he answers.

Jan then runs to the nunnery. He’s praying whichever god may listen to a damned soul like his. He’s just asking to find his star alive, still shining.

Jan arrives at the destination and tries to go in, a couple of nuns attempt to stop him to prevent him from getting infected. He can’t fall ill because of human diseases anymore, so he just enters the building ignoring the two nuns and immediately starts looking for Ignac. The rooms are filled with camp beds so close one to the other that it’s hard to pass through them without hitting the limbs of a sick person. The rooms reek of death and the smell of rotting blood is piercing, his head spins more than once.

“Ignac Jordan!” Jan tries to call for him room after room. “Lord Jordan!” But no one answers.

He’s losing hope when in the last room a person lifts his shaking arm. He runs to them. His heart stops beating for a couple of seconds when he recognises his Ignac on that camp bed. He immediately kneels next to him and grabs his hand.

“I’m here, my love. I’m here.”

“D-don’t touch me, you’ll get sick…”

“Don’t worry, I can’t get infected,” he replies and then takes a look at Ignac: his eyes are red and tired, his skin is extremely pale and is covered in black enormous pustules, he’s burning.

Jan leans forward and pecks his forehead, then with his free hand he caresses his cheek.

“D-don’t, Jan, please…”

“It’s fine, Ignac,” he replies with a softer voice. “I will be fine, don’t worry,” he adds smiling.

Jan glances around. Even though they are all ill, there are too many people in that room besides the doctors and the nuns roaming around. He can’t help Ignac, not there.

“I will take you to my home. You’ll be fine.”

Jan grabs Ignac in his arms, bridal style, and takes him to his house. Doctors try to stop him, to convince him to leave Ignac there so they can try to cure him, but he ignores them and gets away with his human.

“Why did you bring me here?” Ignac asks while glancing around frantically.

“Because I need a quiet place to do what I'm about to do.”

Ignac’s facial expression shows confusion and a moment of clarity between the delirium caused by the high fever. He coughs and spits some blood on the bed sheets.

“I can heal you,” Jan starts talking. “I'm not human,” he adds while sitting on the bed, next to Ignac. “And I'm not a demon serving the devil. I just want you to be ok because I love you and I can't imagine myself without you by my side.”

“H-how can you help me heal?”

“With my blood. It has healing properties. You just need to drink it, a few drops.”

“Y-your blood?”

“Yes, my dear Ignac. I can promise you that you’ll be fine,” he caresses his cheek again.

“F-fine…” Ignac nods slowly. “I-I trust you.”

Jan smiles, then bites his wrist with his fangs. He lets a few drops of his blood fall into Ignac’s mouth.

“Now you just need to rest. My blood will do its job.”

Jan tries to stand up, but a weak hand grabs his own. He turns and meets Ignac’s eyes.

“Please, stay, Jan.”

And Jan indulges his request and lays right next to Ignac. He grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers. “Now sleep, my love. You need to rest.”

Ignac falls asleep soon after, exhausted because of the disease. Jan observes him while he sleeps. His heart and his breath are slowly gaining strength, he can hear them more clearly. Jan gently caresses Ignac’s cheek, glad that his blood is healing him. In the end Jan falls asleep too.

When he opens his eyes the next day, he finds Ignac staring at him. His skin isn’t pale anymore, his eyes are more lively and the pustules are smaller. His scent changed too, he doesn’t smell of death anymore. Jan smiles, happy to see him feeling better.

“You saved my life. Again. I won’t be able to repay my debt to you.”

“Ignac, you don’t owe me anything,” Jan cups his cheek. “I do everything because I love you,” then he leans forward to kiss him on the lips, slowly and tenderly.

They keep kissing and cuddling, they missed each other a lot.

“So… what kind of creature are you?” Ignac asks Jan after a long silence between them, interrupted only by the sound of their kisses.

“Men of faith call us demons or spawns of Satan. We just call ourselves creatures of the night.”

“But I saw you walk in bright daylight.”

“We can walk under the sunlight, but our skin burns more easily. We thrive in the night and in the dark.”

“Why do men of faith call you demons? You look like a normal person. I don’t understand.”

“Because we look like demons, when we transform,” Jan looks at him directly while his look changes. “This is why,” he shows him his fangs and his claws.

“May I?” Ignac asks while his hand reaches for Jan’s face.

Jan nods, giving him permission to proceed. Ignac touches Jan’s fangs, then his claws. He cuts himself and some drops of blood stain his skin. That sweet and alluring smell makes Jan’s pupils swell with desire. He still wants to taste his blood so bad, but he gains control over his instincts, even though with some difficulties.

“What do you feed on?” Ignac asks all of a sudden.

Jan lifts his eyes from his wounded finger. “Blood,” he answers. “From humans or animals. Human blood is tastier and more nutritious,” he explains. “But I’ve never killed a human while I was feeding on them,” he immediately adds.

“Do you want…?” Ignac offers him his bleeding finger. “I saw how you looked at it.”

“Are you sure?” Jan looks him in the eyes.

Ignac nods. “I trust you,” he repeats. “You can take it.”

Something inside of him breaks and mends straightaway. Being accepted so easily by him makes a warm and pleasant feeling bloom in his chest. Is this that feeling that Niklas mentioned, when one’s beloved person accepts a creature for what they are, without any judgement or fear?

Jan smiles, then gently grabs Ignac’s hand and takes his finger in his mouth to lick away the blood. He lets out a moan when the first drop touches his tongue. He closes his eyes, overwhelmed by that delicious taste. He wants to bite him, that desire is strong, it almost takes over him, but Jan manages to control it. No, he can’t, Ignac is healing from that sickness, he needs his blood more than Jan needs it. Thus, he licks his fingertip one last time before letting his hand go.

It's now done, the vampire tasted his mate, fully.

“Am I that tasteful? Y-you moaned.”

Jan nods quickly. “Blood can make us feel pleasure, just like an intercourse.”

“I won’t lie, you look stunning and your reaction was something.”

Jan blushes like a red pepper and hides his face against his chest. “Don’t say those words!”

“Why? They are the truth!” Ignac puts a couple of fingers on Jan’s chin to lift his head up. “You are stunning, Jan Peteh. And I want to spend my whole life with you.”

* * *

Destiny is truly a weird and ironic force. Jan and Ignac's first story began in a good way, but its continuation was constellated with ominous events and ended with the most tragic ending a couple of lovers could have, the premature and violent death of one of the two.

This time they were lucky enough to spend Ignac’s entire lifetime together. They were forced to move from one city to another because Jan didn’t age, but this was a small price Ignac was willing to pay to be with his lover and to keep him, and himself, safe from people of the Church.

In all those years, Jan asked Ignac multiple times whether he wanted to be turned, but the human always refused. He loved his immortal demon with all his soul and body, but he didn’t want to live forever. Thus, they tried to enjoy every single moment spent together, knowing that one day Ignac wouldn’t be with Jan anymore.

Jan stayed by his side until his last breath, holding his hand, hearing his heart stop beating, watching while the last sparkle of life left his body. Ignac, once a bright star in the empty and cold world Jan lived in, was now a dark star, without a light to shine on his lost demon. He decided to walk away on another path, remaining human, and leave Jan on this Earth, once again alone. But Jan can’t hate him, no, he loves him and he will forever.

Who knows, maybe destiny is really so ironic and will make them meet again. But when? And how?

#joker out #jan peteh #nace jordan #jance #jance is real #annies writes #my writing #joker out fanfic #i found in you what was lost in me #vampire!jan

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