apologies to anyone & everyone following this blog who just gets their notifications so so clogged whenever i go on a reblogging spree. thats just how i am my brain needs the stimulation juice
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Me: *wakes up at 3 am, specifically so I can actually write and be productive for once*
Me: Buckle up buttercups, this is going to be a wild ride
Narrator: It was indeed, not, a wild ride. They wrote a total of 4 sentences and proceeded to do random shit on their phone for 2 hours
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regrets and a little more
sometimes i look at my past
with the mind of the present
and the conscious in the future
i despise you most of all
you act so motherly while never being there
you never knew i tried leaving
you never knew any of my plans
and still you want a piece of me
selfish doesn't even begin to describe
just how i see you through my eyes
never there ; akways demanding
i despise not leaving
one way or another i needed an out
death, homelessness, or stay
all unfavorable ; all bad endings
to this video game we call life
I'm living my nightmare
wanting to accomplish everything
having accomplished nothing
i regret not running
i would be up in Cali
no one to care for me
i would be all alone once again
a fear so unmeasurable its no longer fear
you want me to live your dreams
unlike me you've accomplished things id only dream of
like me you want to accomplish more
i regret not dyeing
not falling off the bridge and into traffic
not stabbing my throat with that knife
a fateful night alone
a child can only be so bold
your dream ; my nightmare
we live in the same house
yet don't see each other for days
i regret staying
your words are suffocating
i try my best to be perfect for you
i take up so many things for you
id wish you saw what i did for you
i thought the world of you
i didnt die, just so you could see me
i hated not being there with you
i didnt run, so you could see me
i stayed, so you could see me
i stayed through your demands
i stayed even when you told me to stop drawing
i stayed when the man you call my father called me stupid
i stayed when he called me useless
i stayed when you blamed him for all my bruises
i stayed when you couldnt come to my concerts
i stayed when i saw you give everything to your youngest
i stayed when you called all i found amusing useless
and still i was nothing to you
and you
my glorious heroine
became a ghost of my past
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