#im sick and this image wont get out of my mind

[crabsnpersimmons]

Picture silly crabs sleep pile where all three boys snuggle around your sona.

hehehehehe yeah yeah!!

[devourable]

drunk cuddly darling + sober yan

vs

sober darling + drunk yan

do yans have any preference on either scenario or is it just no bueno either way

im just gonna simplify this ask down a bit. m!yanderes + f!yanderes x cuddly drunk gn darling 🫶 (no poly/non humans for the sake of my sanity)

⛪️ ;; abe is not the type to drink, never has been and never will be, even if you pressure him to drink more, so while he doesn’t exactly approve of you getting drunk either, he just cant bring himself to be mad at you. not when you’re being so sweet to him! he’s happy that you’re content to just be held by him until you fall asleep rather than get into any trouble that he’s not prepared to deal with. be ready to wake up to a scolding by him though, you could get sick if you go overboard! even if he kind of likes it when you do.

[cw dubcon] 🖥️ ;; god bless any darling who gets drunk around gene because if he can tell you’re inebriated he’s either trying to fuck you or is equally as hammered (if not more). so when you get drunk and start getting all touchy with him he sees it as an invitation to take things further. you wanted the attention, you can’t get mad at how he chooses to give it! it isn’t his fault, you just make really cute faces when you’re wasted. he’ll give you a little apology gift for your sore insides when you’re up the next day — one most likely made up of painkillers and your favorite takeout.

🪶;; it irritates sterling to no end that you got drunk. don’t you know you have an image to uphold? he’s prattling on and on about how he’s sick of your disgraceful behavior and how unbecoming it is for you to waste your time fucking up your brain, until your arms are around him and you’re snuggling up against him. then his words are all caught in his throat and hes tripping through his sentences, half heartedly trying to reprimand you still, but he eventually settles down and (begrudgingly) holds you until you’re asleep. he’ll swear to himself its only this one time; if you remember the next day and try to tease him about it he literally wont talk to you for a week.

💪 ;; valentina had already planned to simply cuddle you till you went to sleep, so the fact that you initiated it makes her elated. she likes how it feels when you squirm in her arms, too out of it to be able to do anything but what she wants. it’s like she’s handling a living doll! she carries you around like one, too, going about her day with one hand and holding you you with the other. yes, it makes doing things way more difficult and yes, the arm she carried you with will be sore for days, but it’s well worth it to her.

[cw dubcon, again] 👑 ;; althea ordered you to go to bed the moment you stumbled into her presence in your inebriated state. when you instead clung to her and insisted on cozying up instead, while it annoyed her, she took it upon herself to make sure you got to bed and couldn’t get into any trouble. but you insisted on her staying with you! and the way you tangled her body up with yours and dragged your hands across her form in a move that couldn’t have been entirely innocent (to her, at least), allie couldn’t help but help herself to your body. you practically owed it to her, anyway; and the way you whimpered and sighed for her proved that you didn’t seem to mind too much anyway.

🥩 ;; rhodes doesn’t particularly care for drunks, they’re used to them being loud and obnoxious. so they’re not exactly happy when they find you after having a bit too much to drink. they’e expecting a tedious night of making sure you don’t hurt yourself or others, so it’s a pleasant surprise when you seek them out for comfort instead. they still would prefer you being sober so you’d be able to better appreciated them taking the day off to be with you, but they’re satisfied with the time you spend with them regardless.

[aroacesofspades]

FINALLY reading the latest bsd chapter and um what the fuck

(tumblr wont let me add a reaction pic bc of the Ten Image Limit 😤 but in my mind, im crying and heaving in my room)

obv: bsd spoilers under the cut

i might be wrong but i think this is the most conscious aku has ever been of his own identity in the series (not counting beast/light novels/other works), or definitely high up there in terms of self-reflection.

not a day goes by that i dont think about dazai's role in the lives of almost all the main cast. this entire panel shakes me ngl. lately ive been rlly pressed on this, and its insane to me how this sole character can shape the narrative so fucking profoundly.

the gall???? /j

oh my sweet, sweet, empathetic boyy....

the fact that he saw aku in a position, SO similar to his own, and THIS is the face we see him make.

i think this is atsushi actually seeing proof that dazai has not always been a good person. but tbh i don't think that this could make him hate dazai, it's just more nuanced than that. if i were to describe it, i'd say that this has made him see just how comparable his and akutagawa's experiences really are. i think this is less about how he views dazai (although i do think that this has made him see dazai in somewhat of a dimmer light, i do think that he believes dazai is changing himself, to do good) and more about his connection to aku.

^ and i'm just going to note that aku and atsushi have dealt with, what was a very similar situation, in two very different ways, food for thought rn.

something something abt atsushi finally being there to witness this something something the violent cycle of abuse between every-fucking-one in this mf series something something atsushi knowing aku at his most vulnerable and discontinuing the cycle, still choosing to save him

something something about atsushis own abusive circle, and its nuance when we are viewing it through atsushi's eyes something something parallels... the fact that we see them both right after one another

^ i think it's very interesting that atsushi holds both dazai and the director to a standard where he would rely on them to save the world, even after all that he has JUST seen them both do.

WTF WTF IM SICK IM ACTUALLY ILL OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

the way that after everything, ARGHHH despite everything, they still saved each other. oh honey... do u see how deeply u have changed the lives of the other oh my fuck. i genuinely need to scream out loud in real fucking life because of these mfs.

like ik they understand the OTHER's impact on their narrative, but do they see their own uarghhh. do they see it like we get to??

they see the formed, painted versions of the other, hold it to a STANDARD and now akutagawa's past is deformed and shattered in front of atsushi and u want me to be NORMAL??????

akutagawa who is so close kept about his life that most of what we as readers know about it has been from flashbacks or other light novels RUGHJKLSJSALDJK

enough abt yaoi...

its striking to see how atsushi uses the director as the final motivation for pushing thru his troubles (in this case: the door), much like we've seen aku do with dazai.

except with atsushi, instead of unloading his anger and self-hate onto others (maiming, hurting, basically turning into a killing machine, etc), his hate and the inferiority of his identity within the orphanage, is pushed inwards, even as he tries to resist.

but even if he doesn't seek to find a purpose for living, he still (to some extent) seems to seek support from this (forr the lack of a better word😞) abuser, someone who he genuinely doesn't want to ever see again. yet he takes the position of DAZAI, his mentor, his friend, someone who had once hurt many of atsushi's own closest friends, but never atsushi.

idkk for atsushi and akutagawa, there's always a battle between abuser and saviour, and the line is pretty blurred on where one begins and the other ends. i find this very intriguing :)

^ofc when discussing this, we need to keep in mind that the relationship will ALWAYS be nuanced, especially when told from their povs, because that is how the narrative spooled out. ultimately, they had both found a sense of salvation, and safety in standing where they had stood (thru MANY misguided understandings from all parties and the simple factor that they had been CHILDREN when all this played out).

someone in the comments of the panel pointed this out but the 'redeeming arc' of the director says more about atsushi and less about the director. the director is fucking dead🙏. this is just atsushi's understanding of the director, what he remembers of this person who had wrecked him.

(this is less relevant, but, compared with aku and dazai, the director is MUCH more lenient, willing to indulge atsushi more than dazai had been to aku. maybe (?) bc of the environments they were in?? for all intents, the director remains a father to atsushi, he's dead and no longer changes the narrative, and before that atsushi viewed their relationship as a mentor and a rebel student; whereas akutagawa has had years to reconfigure his relationship with dazai, dazai is a person who is very much still alive and very much still shifting the narrative on his own, and yet all aku really saw of him was the cruel aspects that justified aku's own spite against him, hence why seeing dazai with atsushi had been so jarring)

there is also something to be said for how young both dazai and aku had been at the time, vs the obvious age difference between atsushi and the director. im not really going to elaborate on something that's been said so many times in the fandom already, but dazai was a blind boy leading the blind, while the director had his motives set from the start <thus why we hold dazai to a less extreme standard when discussing his actions, he has never been in a stable environment to begin with, and justifying his actions as if he HAD been would be narratively wrong.

^ alsooo once again reflects on atsushi's inherent nature, to become this tool that saves, that recovers what others cannot, even (and especially) at the expense of his own past and all his attempts to dispel it.

shows how protective he is but also rlly shows how insanely insecure he is...

yk what im sayin?

also. in terms of atsushi's relationship with dazai, I dont think that this has much to do with his opinion on dazai, rather, it reflects his empathy for akutagawa, this is an incident that parallels the both of them even more. atsushi has BEEN where aku once was, he was that boy in the same position and he knows what it's like to feel both contempt and hatred yet also a sense of attachment to a guy in a authority position who was meant to look after u yet crushed u instead.

^ i do think the some of the weight of what he had felt for the director has now shifted into dazai's hands, now that he's aware of all that he has done to akutagawa (ok, not even ALL, this is just a snippet:( ). but i don't think that it is enough for him to hate dazai.

and they definitely (probably... most likely..) won't play into that narrative in the upcoming chapters. i think this chapter was largely meant to further mirror ataushi and akutagawa's trauma and give further incentive for dazai's moral development within the narrative (ie dazai as a character who has been raised in horrible, terrible conditions with morals to reflect vs dazai now who, in atsushi's eyes, is a good man, or attempting to be one)

[trancylovecraft]

(BLUE EXORCIST) YANDERE LUCIFER: Headcannons

(BLUE EXORCIST SEASON THREE IS OCMIJNG JAND OMG IM SO EXCITED ITS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE MANGA ALONG WITH KNY OMG OMG) (If you haven't seen the anime or have seen the anime and dropped it, READ THE MANGA THE ANIME DID IT SO SO DIRTY) (IN CELEBRATION AND THE FACT IM VERY SICK RN AND IT REMINDED ME OF HIM, HAVE THIS)

• Okay. Lucifer, King of light. This is probably the worst yandere in aoex you could get (apart from Mephisto but that’s for another time.)

• Possessive, Overprotective, delusional and manipulative TO THE MAX. Lucifer’s a narcissistic monster so you can see how this goes.

• Possessive in the way he just won’t let you go. He views you as his and nothing more. There’s no debating him on this, You have no voice.

• Overprotective in the way that he does not let any harm come to you. Health check-ups every day, Padded room you’re locked in with no sharp edges. That kind of thing

• Delusional in the way he believes the two of you are somehow bound by fate. He may be scarily intelligent but that does not make him sane in the least.

• And manipulative in the way.. Well, Come on. He’s a glorified cult leader. Lucifer controls every aspect of your life from your clothes to your schedule. All so he can display the image he wants you to see.

• I’m going to go with a Romantic route on this one. I’ll do platonic later if anyone wants it.

• Lucifer at first is shocked. Demon’s don’t feel emotions, Not the way humans do anyways. But his heart beats when he sees you. He’s confused at first, Believing it to be an ailment or illness

• However after a while he comes to terms with it, A shocking realisation. One that amazes him deeply.

• Even though love is a laughable matter for demons, Lucifer doesn’t deny it. He believes that you’re an exception and no matter what his siblings or Homare says, It wont deter him

• Being the egoist he is, He believes you must feel the same way. No matter how much you fight or argue he knows you’re just playing hard to get.

• How it started I can see it happen two ways. One, You’re a recruit in the Illuminati and you somehow catch his eye. Number two, You’re a member of the True Cross Order and you catch his attention.

• If you’re in the Illuminati then that just makes it easier for him. Lucifer is the commander in chief and their idolized leader. You and your colleagues practically worship him. (Rose tinted glasses)

• So it’s a breeze for him to get close to you. Suddenly your assigned as his personal guard or caretaker, Suddenly he requests more time off the clock with you.

• You see it as a blessing, The commander in chief wants more time with you. And from there on there really is no escape

• In the second scenario he might of seen you while spying on the order or when he was declaring war. I’m imagining him announcing his speech before his eyes lock on you from behind the mask, He pauses mid sentence to just stare before Homare coughs and breaks him out of his trance.

• He continues on but his eyes keep lingering back to you. It makes you feel uncomfortable more than you already were, This organisation was declaring war on the order and their creepy leader kept eyeing you up and down.

• I feel like Mephisto would catch on, He’d probably deduce it easily but for the sake of plot he wont here.

• When they leave, Lucifer can’t help but drift his mind off to you. He hated human beings, He envied them for their healthy bodies that they wasted doing nothing while he rots.

• And due to that and the fact that he is bedridden most of the time makes it very hard for him to do anything. Instead he relies on Shima to tell him things about you.

• You’re a teaching assistant at the academy, A middle-class exorcist with the meister of doctor and knight. The more he learned the more he felt his heart beat.

• If you have any other romantic partners or interests (even just friendships) he starts to feel another emotion. It’s not a good one, It makes him disgusted.

• Even though what he feels for you is intense and overwhelming, He will not show it at all. Cold and mechanical

• Lucifer wants to get you away from them. He doesn’t like people touching what’s his.

• After confirming this feeling isn’t illness, He has his mind set dead on you.

• Lucifer believes that you must feel the same way. This is love, Something he had never experienced before so he knows it must be mutual right?

• He has Shima gather items from you. Photo’s, Clothing and trinkets. He has them surrounding his bed.

• So when you come along with the exwires to rescue Izumo and he views you on the camera’s his heart skips a beat.

• Lucifer orders the entire staff not to lay a hand on you. If they do then they will suffer by his hand and he MEANS this.

• So when you and the exwires are separated and shoved into different rooms, There was no demon to fight you.

• You were confused. It was just a padded cell. All until a ray of light manifested on the other side of the room

• You bared your weapon. Lucifer appeared in a fresh clone body and full uniform, Wanting to look his best for finally meeting you.

• Of course you ready your weapon but its instantly dismantled by a blinding flash, Making you drop it to the ground.

• Lucifer approaches you and takes no time to proclaim his infatuation and love for you. He says it outright because of well.. He’s convinced that you feel the exact same way about him even though you only met once on really bad terms.

• Lucifer expects you to run into his arms or confess your love back. But to his shock and dismay you only scream obscenities at him, Which is a weird way of showing your love but go off I guess.

• Or not. Lucifer doesn’t like you saying that stuff. Even though he knows you don’t mean it he still takes great offense.

• Lucifer straight up offers you to join the illuminati. A pretty high position (And conveniently works close to him)  Tells you about his ideals. His goal of making a paradise, Reviving Satan and making an equal world

• You’re rightfully disgusted. You say no again and curse him out. No way are you joining some glorified cult.

• He sighs, A tad irritated as he steps closer to you. You cant do anything but back away into a corner looking terrified.

• He approaches. The distance closes and he casts a dark shadow, His eyes glowing as he looks at you.

• You’re frozen in fear as he reaches a hand out to cup your cheek. His hands are dead cold.

• “I understand your fear, But sleep well now and you’ll awaken safely in due time.” 

• He says that to you and he places a single kiss onto your lips. His are freezing similar to that of a corpses.

• You black out afterwards, Lucifer catches you in his arms as he carries you away.

• After that its the “domestic stage”

• You sleep in a room in the Dominus Liminus. It’s both warded and protected to the nines.

• You wont speak much to anyone. A few staff here or there but Homare is the one tasked with keeping you secure and safe.

• Wherever you go (If you’re allowed out) Homare will be close behind. It wont even be hidden, Saying with a cold face that she is to escort you around the place and assist you.

• But you know it’s just Lucifer keeping an eye on you.

• As soon as your on board you instantly gain the title of ‘The Commander’s Fiancée’

• Its disturbing until you find out why. Once you meet him again he explains that your days are now leading up to your marriage with him.

• He could marry you right now. But Lucifer wants to have a ceremony, An official wedding that will involve a demonic binding to him.

• You curse him out again and try to attack him in his bed. But the Lundström pull you back escort you to your cell. Lucifer calling out your praises as you go.

• You’re fed the highest class food. It doesn’t matter what you prefer since Lucifer claims “You deserve the best”

• You also get a lot of gifts like clothing and furniture. Nothing dangerous or sharp though, Cant let you getting hurt.

• If you get close to anyone but him or maybe Homare he will not hesitate. He’s jealous and will order their death, Sometimes he’ll do it himself depending on the situation.

• Health check-ups daily. Human beings are fragile and if you died he doesn’t think he could go on without the one thing that numbs his pain. 

• Unfortunately enough you’re being taken care of by a greasy little doctor Geodinn. Of whom sucks up to you even though you can tell its an act

• If you do manage to escape he will go on a rampage. It’ll be the blue night pt2. He doesn’t care who he kills or what he destroys, Only calmed when your back with him.

• Besides. His siblings as well as all their lower class demons would be on high alert, Its impossible.

• He’s always in bedrest and it annoys him. He can’t spend as much time as he wants to with you and his rotting body wont let him.

• Sometimes when he misses you too much he’ll get Homare to drag you in and lie with him. He likes holding you to your displeasure, Its the only thing that takes away his constant pain

• When his body is new however he makes it count.

• He takes you out on little trips in preparation for your wedding.

• Him, Homare and a group of his most trusted men take you dress shopping. They make you try on a shit ton until Lucifer and you find the perfect one. You both must be in agreement.

• You try to escape but you are instantly caught by Homare and co. Who drag you back to a disappointed and confused Lucifer.

• He still doesn’t understand why you’d want to leave. You’re both in love, Right?

• He takes you out to the final shop. A jewellers where he alone picks out the ring. A silver ring with a diamond centrepiece (Also one that he made a demon under him possess to tell him your location at all times)

• Afterwards its basically time for your big day. His at least, Lucifer is overjoyed and excited for once in his life.

• You walk down the isle with a veil to cover your distraught and defeated face all while carrying a bouquet of white roses. It’s a massive cathedral. The entirety of the Illuminati is there along with his siblings..

• Once you reach the altar, Lucifer is standing there in his full military uniform. For once his expression doesn’t look mechanical and dead, It has life now and his eyes look at you with an organic gleam.

• Iblis, Egyn and Astaroth are standing off to the side. They’re very confused but they don’t question him.

• Iblis thinks its cute. Egyn is confused and Astaroth just got here

• Shima is near the front row and is currently on FaceTime with Mephisto, Whose hysterical and laughing to high hell at what’s happening.

• Homare is ordaining the ceremony. She says her part and then Egyn comes up with the rings as well as a contract.

• Lucifer lifts your veil. He hands you the contract with a pen and urges you to sign it.

• You have no other choice. You sign the paper while trying not to cry. The deal is done, You’re unable to leave entirely now

• He leans down and kisses you as the crowd goes wild cheering. Through the noise you can hear him say one last thing.

• “You look absolutely stunning.. Once I get a working body and once you become a demon eater.. I hope to see you like this for the rest of time..”

[letters-to-yorinde]

Adressed to Yorinde Shine, a letter smelling of seasalt, salted fish and chalk.

Dear Yorinde,

we finally made it to Orkos, after two long weeks on that wretched ship. I cant believe I left it all behind for what amounts to be a castle in the sky, some sea sickness and no leads. I know you said I should go. It was exciting at first, I do admit. But I longed for land the moment the first storm hit and I could do nothing but hide. The ocean is very different to the streets of Fern. Its sheer vastness felt like... I dont really know. Apparently Im terrified of it. No people, no buildings. Remember when we ran away from Morays crew? Stuck in that alleyway with nowhere to go but directly into their blades? Thats what the ocean feels like all the time. I watched a ship go down after lightning struck it, flames eating away at wood and bone. We did help the survivors, but there werent many to begin with. The image of the firey sails againt the waves is probably burned - ha. - into my mind. We could see and hear them, but we couldnt help.

Obviously not everything is this dreadful. When we finally set foot on the Dawncoast, a lovely little town named Driftwood Landing swallowed us. You would like it, I think. If it were dirtier, bigger and had more scoundrels, it would be just like home. So really, it isnt like home at all. Quainter, smaller and less muddy. I took Osrick to a tavern away from the ports - too many ears. If Im going to throw my life away to prove myself, I might as well do it shamefully in the corner. Unlike the last few weeks, we actually got lucky. The tavern owner - a Filburg Lady named Catherine, with more scrap than brain to her name - had seen the carvings before. I might still have gotten my face beaten in by a fired up Mob and Osricks finest shirt is basically scrap, but at least we have a lead. Its not unlike our family to meet new people fist first (or in my case: spell first) after all. Im just holding up tradition.

... Maybe thats what you should tell Ma. "Zeres is out there, upholding our family tradition of getting beaten up in a square and somehow getting out of it alive, with a lead and a newfound connection to an underground boss." Because Catherine definitely has some smuggling going on. I dont judge and I dont think Osrick noticed. Hes weirdly... middleclass. I forget sometimes.

Point is, apparently there is a place east of Driftwood, somewhere in the Brinewood. A forest village thats been abandoned many years ago, but whose buildings used similar slabs to the one we found.

I cant believe how lucky I am - broken nose not counting - but its also worrying. Maybe it wasnt so rare a discovery after all? Maybe we are following a silly rumor into nothing besides death. But i cant go back empty handed. Whatever ratlike pride I have, it wont allow it.

So Im dragging Osrick to the Brinewood, right into that treacherous forest everybodys warned me of. And hopefully back out again.

With love Your idiot sibling Zeres

[hazarambling]

its 2024 we need to put some respect on baiheng's name

please quickly before any analysis look at my lovely wife i really like her my wife is soft and i like her... look at her she's so pretty WAHH ok analysis time

ok so i was reading the wiki a few days ago and i saw this:

and oh my GOD it pissed me off BECAUSE SHE FOLLOWS THE HUNT!! SHE FOLLOWS THE HUNT!! SHE FOLLOWS!! THE!! HUNT!! like is this not common knowledge?? its almost certainly the driving force to her central conflict as a character, whether to remain with the xianzhou and risk her life for the hunt or to abandon it and become a nameless

like in those bits we see that she, like her parents, was a nameless, but also that she had great luck and used that luck to help the xianzhou in combat, and also she joined the hcq and the hcq were all labeled as outcasts, so maybe her long absences from the yaoqing/the orbit fleets drove a divide between her and her duty to the xianzhou because she just wanted to trailblaze, and this divide between her allegiance to the hunt and the trailblaze is what made her an outcast

also that line from blade always sticks out to me because baiheng is depicted as the one to bring wine to the hcq

so baiheng is bringing them (and consistently, jingliu, but we can assume since nobody else is mentioned to bring wine to them that baiheng is bringing wine to all of the hcq) wine which they used to "drown [their] sorrows"... i wonder who introduced that habit to them, considering she also introduced wine to them... but regardless this isnt directly stated in cannon so i wont focus on it

ok tldr

like just from the fact she fought with the xianzhou (and chose to return even after she'd go trailblazing) shows that she follows the hunt, i dont understand why her lore path is listed as just the trailblaze when its so clearly the main conflict of her character that she follows both the trailblaze and the hunt

ok enough yapping next point

SHE IS LITERALLY ONLY APPRECIATED INSIDE OF 1 SHIP. (LIUBAI) BUT SHE EXISTS AS HER OWN CHARACTER!!! but nooo instead we must have arguments about her because she "ruined the lore" no she didnt, the lore is fully coherent! ofc we dont have all the details but who cares! dan feng and yingxing tried to revive her thats all we need to know in regards to parts of the hcq's lore that had widespread consequences!! im whipping out my passerby analysis im sorry if the image is very small but tldr the beloved FRIEND cant be any other than baiheng its 2024 we need to stop arguing about passerby ok fellas

like im so sick of people only bringing her up in relation to ships, i am like one of like 5 other people who actually like baiheng for being baiheng and not just inside of a ship. baiheng is super cool!!! and so integral to the hcq story!! and also she's really pretty!! and we should talk about her more and appreciate her more!!

also i hate the thought that yingxing making the flask for her and "finally" making up his mind to give it to her has to imply something romantic, she was his beloved FRIEND and even those small words of encouragement she gave him on the zhuming gave him some confidence and optimism. them being friends and these words affecting yx (bearing in mind baiheng seems to be one of the first people to give yx encouragement, because he "seems to have a brighter expression on his face" after baiheng talks to him, why would he react like that if he was praised often) so deeply show how important they are to each other.

and also his choice to do the sedition with df can also be way more impactful because baiheng changed yingxing's life so much for the better, and now he cant stand the idea of her not being around and was grieving so much that he agreed to commit a major crime with dan feng just for a chance of bringing her back

ok now let's wrap this all up and put a bow on it (baiheng would look so cute with a bow in her hair omg)

the fact the WIKI cant even get this right when its so obvious baiheng followed the hunt is just crazy to me and people really need to appreciate baiheng as baiheng!! yes liubai is an amazing ship but she exists outside of it and her platonic relationships with ALL of the hcq are so important! people need to appreciate the hcq as a platonic family-esque quintet and also recognize the individual characters and dig into them all!! ok boom, take the hcq again i love them i hope we get stuff about them in 2.4 i really miss them

[woahpinkhorsegirl]

Whenever i get burnt out with my Bluey next gen or my MLP infection AU, I've been working on a bunch of planning for an MLP G6 AU where i basically just do what all the other gens did (except G5 for the most part) and pull characters from past generations out of the grave to make a new story with.

I haven't worked it all out but idk im sick and that's everyone else's issue so im gonna ramble about another horse AU for five minutes if y'all dont mind lol

Heres a small list of ideas i have at the moment:

A) There are three alicorn rulers (currently). Celestia, Luna, and Cadance. They are all from the home of alicorns, Skyros, having come down during the reign of the twisted spirit of chaos; Discord. The three wielded the Elements of Harmony, an ancient relic from their homeland that they brought to help protect the creatures of Equestria.

B) Equestria consists of four large divisions; The capital, the melting pot area featuring many creatures of many backgrounds, including all three pony types, and the final three divisions made to be inhabited by each type of pony; Unicorn, Pegasi, and Earth. Although it is possible for, say, a pegasus to live in the earth division, its just that the earth division was inhabited and made specifically with earth ponies in mind.

C) Princess Cadance gets an angsty backstory. Because her lifespan is long, she's lost many a partner and child over the years, having become very emotionally distant when interacting with others. She only seems to emotionally respond to her (surviving) children and the other princesses.

D) Each of the pony type divisions get their own leader of that type, who work directly ubder the three core princesses

E) The main character is not a pony...kinda lol

Hope this sounds interesting to some! Im having fun making it in my free time, so i hope it sounds good!

(Obligatory funny horse image for algorithm reasons lol)

(Also i promise it wont be a lot of G4 characters returning i made sure to add plenty of past ponies too i just dont wanna share it yet)

[betweenlifeandshadow]

Im so happy to finally have the canon accruate top hat and I wont add anything to it since his hat is just plain black with no cards and no decor.

I like to think in the future he makes a mind control hat and the hat you saw in my other photos is headcanonly his hat in the near future.

I call this one his past hat because during the years of the show all he had was his voice and pocket watch.

I wear it when its not chilly out or inside because September tends to be Summer and Fall at the same time. It was so damn windy out and its not easy being a homeless content creator in the elements but I try. I have at least somewhere to stay during the day. Still; September tends to be two seasons in one. Its getting warm again and then it will be cold.

This song from Anthony Green's band ''Circa Survive'' fits Tetch.

Anything with emotion and bass like that works.

Now; I have a few costumes for Hallowseve but Jervis is my main personality so im still fully focused on him.

Solar from the Sun and Moon Show is always second pritority for me and is for Hallowseve.

Bill Cipher in October sometime to celebrate the Book Of Bills release this year.

My latest addition is Huskus from both the Firefly Funhouse and The Wyatt Sicks played by WWE Wrestler and former NXT Wrestler Gacy. Im excited for that tag team street fight match tonight on Monday Night Raw. It doesnt matter to me when Wyatt Sicks wins. I love Huskus and I may or may not getting a pig mask if I can scratch up the change for it. Huskus is still happening.

Note: My Tumblr is ONLY for Jervis. The others I mentioned are for my other plateforms Tik Tok and Instagram. I like to have one plateform where I only post one.

Images belong to DC and Fox.

Top Hat via Dollarama Halloween Section

[t-am-i-the-asshole]

AITA because I stopped cooking dinner for my husband and son?

I (37 f) am fed up with making dinner only for my husband (39M) and son (13M) to usually not eat it. They have both become the most unbearable pickiest eaters on the planet and I'm so sick of their shit

At first I was able to make at least 10 different dishes out of their picky eating habits, so i'd rotate those out. Over these last few years they have both gotten worse with their picky eating to the point where there's only like 3 different dishes they will eat that I cook.

I cook really good, I am spanish and my mother taught me how to make so many different cultural dishes as well as "Americanized" dishes. My husband is American italian, he won't eat anything that isnt American/italian but hes even pickier than that. To give you an example he will only eat white meat chicken that isn't touching any bone, he will never touch seafood...he told me that he used to be the person that would only order chicken fingers at a restaurant so im married to the adult version of that kid. My son has recently started following in his image. My son used to have a wide palette and would try anything but not anymore, all of a sudden he cant handle anything just like my husband (they arent even blood related, my husband is stepfather)

They used to loved my dishes and I used to get a lot of praise for how good my cooking was Im not sure why over time they have become the pickiest eaters!

Now all i get is "im not hungry right now i'll eat later" and then they dont touch the food and it goes to waste. Or straight up "i'm not eating that" when it is perfectly delicious and edible.

Im so sick of the two of them that I have refused to cook for a couple months now and my husband brought it up like it was a problem that im not making any of the 3 damn boring ass dishes he can handle. I'm sick of cooking these 3 dishes, and sometimes they wont even eat that!!

They've been fending for themselves for dinner and I feel way less stressed out now. And just so you know I work full time just like my husband does so why he can't do the cooking if he wants to be so picky I don't understand, apparently because I have the vagina I'm the one expected to cook, over it! I come home from work ready to eat dinner but will he cook it, no? So Ive been having to just have a "girl dinner" by myself which usually consists of cheese and crackers.

I think im just ranting at this point, I wish someone else would mind dinner and I didnt have to be responsible anymore, anyway do you think im an asshole?

[rai-knightshade-art]

I posted 40 times in 2022

33 posts created (83%)

7 posts reblogged (18%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pitchperfectrarepairweek

@chevalierebf

@creativesplat

@corelliaxdreaming

@androgymagnus

I tagged 40 of my posts in 2022

#myposts - 32 posts

#myart - 30 posts

#star wars legends - 11 posts

#pitch perfect - 10 posts

#pitch perfect rare pair week - 10 posts

#anne of green gables - 10 posts

#zekk - 10 posts

#young jedi knights - 10 posts

#jaina solo - 9 posts

#anne with an e - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#also i know this isnt strictly anne with an e but i think the whole fandom will get a kick out of this particular joke so im tagging it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Y'all know that post about "what if there was a Smash style game but with public domain characters"? This Post? Yeah i had an idea for that 😂 Though my idea wasn't "Jay Gatsby with the steel chair!" (Although that is a very funny mental image), it was "Anne Shirley with the chalk slate!" And so this comic was born! Also i threw in Victor Frankenstein cause he deserves to get smashed over the head with a slate by an 11 year old actually, maybe it'll teach him some humility like it did Gilbert.

Also Marilla and Gilbert would be summonable characters with funny catchphrases, you know they would--Marilla with her "Fiddlesticks!" And Gilbert with an apple pun (as is his wont). Truly I'm sad this doesn't actually exist.

(close ups under the Read More! Image IDs are in the alt text)

See the full post

11 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

#4

I seem to be on a "fave media x 80's cult classic" kick right now (there'll be a Sailor Moon x Back to the Future post sometime in the future), so let's have my latest combo: the Young Jedi Knights Squad (Jaina, Jacen, Zekk, Tenel Ka, and Raynar) as The Breakfast Club! Aka a fanfic that i will never write and yet so desperately want to see written i already made Fanart for it. Go figure. Anyways have some iconic scenes from the movies!

Close Ups and a description of each of the "club" members below the cut, image IDs in the alt text!

The Players:

Zekk is, obviously, the "delinquent"; he's an orphan, he has to work and scrounge up his food and clothes, he pulls harebrained schemes for the adrenaline rush--he's a teacher's (specifically Brakiss's) worst nightmare. Of course, that's not all he is; he's got a key mind for mechanics and technology, helped by his scrap searching; he stays out at all hours because he doesn't like being home alone (his guardian Peckham, who he loves like family, is often away as a truck driver, and it gets lonely in their little house without him); he's kindhearted, and fiercely loyal, he just doesn't want to let anyone in out of fear of losing them, or that they won't like what they see....

Jaina is the "princess"; the only daughter of the Governor, she's been groomed to play nice and hang out with the other children of politicians and CEOs since she was just a little girl. Nowadays they form her primary group of friends, the most popular kids in school, looked up to--or down upon-- by their peers in equal measure. And... She kinda hates it. She stays with them only out of obligation, to make her mother's life easier, but she doesn't particularly care about any of them and doesn't even particularly enjoy their company; it's all drama and gossip and a revolving cacophony of dating and breaking up and bitter exes and rivalries and she is sick of it. She would much rather be spending her time at her dad's auto shop, getting her hands dirty tuning up engines and changing oil and bonding with Han. She can't tell anyone that tho, it would ruin her reputation...

Jacen is the "jock"; the twin brother of Jaina, he also feels a certain pressure to stay in with the popular crowd. He achieves this by being captain of the fencing team; it's no star quarterback position but it is still respectable among his peers. Fencing isn't his true passion, tho; he'd much rather be spending all his time at the local animal shelters, or assisting at the zoo. He's an animal lover through and through, but it's something he hides from his "friends" so that they don't have reason to shun him for being a "sissy." He knows there's nothing ignoble about his hobby, but they don't know that....

Tenel Ka is, for lack of a better term, the "weirdo"; she comes from somewhere called Dathomir, from a culture of fierce warrior women, and boy, does she act like it. She will readily duel anyone who looks at her wrong, she eats entire animal legs for lunch, and she never seems to show much emotion.... Ever. Add to that her missing arm (which no one knows the truth about btw, rumors fly about it being anything from a childhood accident to one of her duels gone wrong), and she cuts an intimidating figure that most students avoid. Is there more to her than that? Oh is there. Is there ever.

Raynar Thul is the final member of the crew; he's the "trust fund baby" that hangs out with a very specific clique that even Jaina and Jacen aren't a part of. He comes across as snobbish and standoffish, unwilling to dabble with anyone "lesser". This is a front, however; he projects this persona because it's what his parents expect from him, and he doesn't want word getting back to them about what he actually does: extensive volunteer work. Raynar has a drive to help people, and has been trying to use his privilege all through high school to do just that, by volunteering at food banks and for highway clean up, and donating as much of his allowance as physically possible where he can. In fact, it's how he met his girlfriend Lusa, but that's a whole other can of worms...

See the full post

11 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

#3

Young Jedi Knights!! Or, ok more accurately they're old enough to be New Jedi Order/Fate of the Jedi/etc etc era but I'm ignoring, like, all of that. So.

@lizartgurl you know that scene we low-key talked about? I drew it 😅 nothing like a good set of parallels in your star wars fan art!

And I'm also of the opinion that Zekk's dynamic with the twins when they were younger is basically 50% Off Makoto and Nagisa, so i present Zekk, explaining one of his many adventures to a pair of kids that i will explain below the cut because their story is... Complicated, and started literally a decade ago 😅

More details and closeups below the cut, image IDs in Alt Text as always!

See the full post

13 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

#2

Prompt: "This is me trying"

Pitch Perfect RarePair Week 2022, Day 1

Because we all know the REAL reason Jessica and Ashley didn't get much screentime in the movies was because they were busy being James Bond-esque super spies/secret agents and living out their very own Mrs. and Mrs. Smith AU. Speaking of, hey, Pitch Perfect fandom? I have seen ZERO Mrs. and Mrs. Smith AU's for these two yet and I am APPALLED. It's perfect for them! Secret hidden lives, confusion over names (because they've got so many cover identities it's hard to keep track who's who), JESSICA'S LAST NAME IS LITERALLY SMITH THIS FIC WRITES ITSELF.

*ahem*

Anyways, welcome to my first entry (EVER!!) for Pitch Perfect RarePair Week! I rewatched the first movie recently, hyperfixated, and came to the realization that, apparently, it's "oops all rarepairs and hot takes" for me 😅. This seemed like the perfect way to tentatively test the waters of truly joining in, ya know? And so, I offer this drawing as your prompt, oh fic writers of the fandom; if you want to write this AU, you've already got free fan art for it! And my undying devotion.

This is, of course, for Prompt #1, "this is me trying"; I'm sure this was intended to be an angsty, emotional turmoil between partners prompt, but I couldn't help but turn it on its head into a comedic exchange in the middle of a High Stakes Infiltrate-and-Extract job, ya know? YOU try cracking the safe then, Jessica, if you think it's so easy! 😂

Stay tuned for the rest of my RarePair Week posts, and of course check out everybody else's entries over on @pitchperfectrarepairweek as they come in! There's some seriously talented writers in this fandom! As for me, I've got a couple of different rarepairs I've been drawing for, plus (hopefully) one fic for Day 5 that also ties into Day 6 (and, technically speaking, Day 2, though it's not as obvious)... Provided I can, ya know, ever finish writing the damn thing 😅. Though I will warn y'all, Day 2's entry may or may not be late, as I only had the idea for it a couple days ago and I haven't had time yet to draw it 😅 we shall see how quickly I can get it put together!

Links to the other RarePair Week posts and a close up below the cut, Image ID is in the alt text!

Days I'm participating in (and the Entries I've posted):

Day 1 (This is me trying): You are Here!

Day 2 (I've missed you): Link

Day 5 (If honesty means telling the truth... Well then the truth is I'm still in love with you): Link

Day 6 (There's no way that it's not going to happen with you looking at me like that): Link

Close Up:

Day 7.1 (I can't say it, but I'll sing it): Link

Day 7.2 (part 2 of Day 2): Link

See the full post

15 notes - Posted December 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

"Have I known you 20 seconds ....

......or 20 Years?"

(or: I couldn't find a satisfactory Anne of Green Gables bookmark so I made my own)

(image id in alt text, close ups/alt angles and artist thoughts under the cut)

(quote from Taylor Swift's "Lover")

So, I really wanted a bookmark featuring my all time favorite Anne quote, aka the "diamond sunbursts and marble halls" line. But I couldn't find a good bookmark that I liked that also featured that line, so I just decided, what the hey, I'll make one myself, and I can do it exactly the way I want to! And then I did 😂.

I wanted a double-sided bookmark so I could feature a scene from each of my two favorite adaptations of Anne, i.e. the Sullivan movies and Anne with an E. I knew the Sullivan side would have the main quote since said quote actually appeared in the movies, and from there it was an easy decision to pair it with the reunion scene from A Continuing Story, a) because that scene has lived rent free in my head since I was 10, and b) while the first kiss that came after the actual line was beautiful, the reunion scene brings a different, more desperate emotion to the quote that I really like. It's in the way they clutch at each other desperately, the way Gilbert's face is pressed into her shoulder so tightly you can see wrinkles in his skin appear, the way Anne runs her fingers through his hair, the whole scene just screams "all I've wanted for two straight years was just to hold you in my arms again" and I burn I pine I perish.

After that it was just a matter of figuring out the Anne with an E side. I decided pretty quickly that I wanted the bonfire scene, both to contrast the other side by splitting the image up and because that scene, almost more than the actual first kiss scene, really cemented Gilbert's love for Anne to me, you can see it in his eyes as he looks up at her, illuminated by fire, like he's looking at his own personal goddess. And with that idea came the decision to use his letter as the quote, albeit shortened cause homeboy was rather wordy in confessing his love (which I adore that's a whole other rant) so that I kept the main, emotional hooks.

Then, I surrounded each one with meaningful flowers (lilies of the valley for the og, queen Anne's lace for the newbies), splashed some watercolors across the backgrounds for some flavor, and that was that!

Btw these are both done on toned mixed-media paper, it's thick and it's almost a cross between card stock and cardboard. I designed the whole thing in pencil, inked it in black and white, then threw watercolor over the top before finishing with water soluble markers and retouches to the white gel ink where needed. I plan to laminate this for it's protection but these pictures were taken unlaminated.

Close ups:

See the full post

19 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[data-draws]

I'm sorry for this spam/rant but I have no other outlets...

I know to a lot of you this is going to sound super pretentious and cringey, but I mean this with my whole heart. Watching Sandman with my parents has shown me just how pathetically different we are as people, I mean, down to the very morals and way we view life. It may be hyperbole to suggest that it was sandman alone that made me realize this rift between us, but it was definitely the straw that broke the camels back. I have been trying for YEARS to talk my parents out of their extremely small minded view of the world, and I've definitely made progress, looking back it becomes clear to me that the progress I have made is only because it has become socially popular to be performatively progressive, when I came out as transgender, my mother literally mourned me, I was sitting in front of her and she started crying because she, and I quote "thought I had killed my daughter" how fucking pathetic and selfish of a mindset is that? It gets worse, even after their supposed later acceptance of me they are still very clearly *yet subtley* racist and homophobic, my father goes on rants about how there are too many interacial couples and gay people in the media these days, how its unrealistic and if they genuinely wanted to have representation it shouldn't be visible or should be literally the exact. same. percentage. as the percentage of minorities there are in society, meaning he wants only 12% of all media to show black characters because in the country we live in there are only 12% of black people in the larger population. it gets worse though. we sat down and watched episode five together, in the back of my mind I knew they were going to hate it and say something about it. so after it ended I decided to try and explain some of it, you know, atleast some of the BASIC metaphors and imagery used throughout the franchise to try and quell what I knew would be a bigoted throw of hatred if I didn't. my father left before I could start, but my mother instantly pulled up facebook and mentally clocked out, I continued talking though, giving her the benefit of the doubt and hoping she was still listening, she of course. obviously fucking wasn't and im an idiot for having this much faith in them for so long, I called her out on this and she repeated what I had said to "prove" that she was listening, except she twisted up my words to mean the opposite of what I was trying to get across, I then explained that what she repeated told me that she actually wasn't listening, she was just pretending to, and only "hearing" me, not absorbing a single word that came out of my mouth. I could continue ranting, and I actually want to, but now that the rage that I had internalized is subsiding to sadness and embarrassment I wont. I'm actually disgusted I was raised by these people, they can't have ONE FUCKING CRITICAL THOUGHT. its so exhausting being around them, I have to sidestep major misinformation and lies nearly everyday and pretend for their sake because they are highly spiritual so if I say anything that even somewhat questions their ridiculous pseudoscience I get blasted and shamed and embarrassed publicly, if I ever invite them to have a conversation beyond simply "dunking on the other guy" politically and repeating half-truths and propaganda they look at me like im an extremist and once again intentionally misinterpret my words to make me seem like a genocidal maniac. im fucking sick of this, why do I still hang around them when they can't understand the absolute bare minimum of what it means to be a real human being? I've met literal. ACTUAL 12 YEAR OLDS WHO HAVE BETTER CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS. im so exhausted and dumbfounded that I ever deluded myself into believing they were anything more than the farcical watered down image that I was trained to become. I'm glad I failed to be like them, they're genuinely horrid people. and the worst part is, they think because they aren't cult-members/terrorist sympathizers like my grandparents, they think they're amazing people, they genuinely don't register that they have severe moral failings.

[ndoandou]

Hi!! I saw your requests were open, so uh could I request an Ikevamp headcanon for Arthur, Theo, Vincent and Isaac reacting an MC who is super energetic. Like, as in she could literally dance around the mansion without having a care in the world? ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Yeah lol pls feel free to take your time with this request and have a nice day!! ༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ

This is cute 😳😳

This ended up being wayyy longer than i thought it would be. Arthur's part went deeper than i thought it would be-

This is probably one of my longest headcanon/scenario, i hope you enjoy 😌

.

.

Lets say for context, MC is sweeping through the hall while humming, and as time went by her humming becomes louder. Eventually she straights up start singing while twirling and dancing around

Arthur

The first encounter with this trait of MC kind of surprised him. He wasn't expecting young lady to be this active and bright

Gets along very well with her actually

He doesn't mind her energetic personality, but sometimes in gets in the way when he is working on his stories.

He doesn't see her as "annoying" like what most people woukd describe her

He just thinks that she has so many things in her mind (in a good way) that she expresses them all at once //my mans pulling off a doctor doyle 😳

Arthur was in his room, trying to concentrate on his writing when he heard MC singing loudly outside

"I dare say, she is one active lady." Arthur said to himself as he exhaled.

Arthur got up and openned his bedroom door, revealing MC who was singing and dancing around with the broom

MC noticed arthur who was leaning on the door frame with a defeated expression

"Good afternoon to you arthur!" MC greeted him cheerfully, which then she went back to singing and dancing around

"Good afternoon to you too, dear" arthur said which MC probably didn't hear

Once he tried flirting with her but it all flew over her head

This one time MC and arthur was left alone and he tried to make a move on her

Arthur leaned over to MC's ear and whispered

MC seemed unbothered and let him lean over to her

"Seems like we're left alone, love.. would you like to have some fun?" Arthur whispered suggestively

MC was an innocent and very bright girl but she wasn't stupid

"Hm? No. Oh! Arthur can i ask you something?" MC asked unbothered by arthurs invitation

This took him by surprise

"Oh..ehm, go ahead poppet."

"Am i annoying?"

Arthur was blown away by her question.

"Annoying? No, no. That's not it, love. Why do you ask?" Arthur asked her curiously. He wasn't expecting this question from her.

"Ahahaha..! It's nothing important, its just when i lay down at night, i start realizing the unpleasant looks i get from some people whenever im doing something or saying something. I tell myself not to be annoying but i lose control of myself the next day." MC said cheerfully as if what she felt wasn't anything serious at all

Arthur felt really bad after hearing that. He realized that she was being misundertood badly.

He realized that behind that cheerfull personality, she had such deep thoughts

He wasn't expecting her to reveal her most vulnerable side to him out of everyone

He realized that the time he looked defeated arounded MC must have been in her memories

"Oh..oh dear me. I didn't know you felt that way, and im sorry if im one of those people who made you feel that way." Arthur said, with a sympathetic look on his face.

Arthur realized that MC never wanted to cause discomfort to anyone with how she is.

"Hmm i probably sounded REAL silly with what im saying, you can pretend that i never said anything, honestly!" MC said casually as she got up from her chair

"Wait! Hang on a second, poppet. Sit back down" arthur said as he gestured her to sit down, which she did

"I dont think you are annoying. You are just misunderstood, love. It seems to me that you have many going on in your mind that you express them all at once, like a big ball of energy." Arthur explained to her

MC's eyes widen

She found his explanation rather accurate

"Oh..you..you think so?" MC said taken back by the way arthur described her

"Yes, yes. I have an idea for you, poppet. If you want to learn how to express yourself better, how about you try writing all the things in your mind- in any form you want." Arthur suggested

MC's face lit up

"That sounds very fun!" MC exclaimed

"In fact, i want to do it now!" MC said as she jolted off her seat hurrying over to the door

"Oh, and thankyou very much arthur. You are the first person to understand how i feel" MC said smiling genuinely as she headed out

Arthur felt his heart skip a beat.

Without realizing, his cheeks were tinted pink

"By jove! What is this feeling?" Arthur said to himself

Surprisingly, MC was seen in the library writing away in peace most of the time, when she isn't doing her chores

If arthur was working on his own work, MC would sit next to him and start writing aswell

She would write poems

Everyone was worried if MC had fell sick because it was very unusual for her to be this quiet, but arthur just explained that she found herself a new hobby.

Mc would show arthur what she had written, and arthur woukd be blown away everytime.

Everyone got curious with what MC was writing, and when they read her poems, their brains just melted away

Even when vincent brought one of her poems to shakespeare, he became shookspeare

Everyone actually encouraged her to publish her works to the public

MC was excited with that idea, but she said she would give it a thought

Occasionally MC would be the ball of energy she was, but she settled down more

Vincent

He would find it extremely adorable!

Just combine MC and Vincent together would make them the angels of all angels

For context, vincent would be entering the mansions gate after visiting shakespeare

He noticed a dancing figure in the hallway through the window

As he entered the mansion, he could already hear MC's singing voice from the second floor

He goes upstairs and there was MC singing and dancing around with the broom

"Hello MC! You seem very energetic as always" vincent greeted with a smile

He would ask MC if she was singing a song from her time period

He would even ask her to teach him how to sing the song

Vincent isn't an energetic person, but MC's personality rubbed onto him

He would only be energetic around her as she is basically the catalyst xD

Vincent would end up dancing around with her, spinning around through the hallway, laughing and singing

The night after goofing around with MC, she was stuck in his head

He got up from his bed and went over to his art supplies.

He had the strong urge to paint her

The way she danced, sung, and laughed created a crystal clear image in his head

After spending the whole night painting, he was knocked out asleep from morning to afternoon

MC was sent by sebastian to wake him up

She recieved no answer when she knocked, which then she invited herself in

When she came in she saw a beautifully done painting of her

Feeling her heart skip a beat

For once she felt really shy instead of her energetic self

"V-vincent, its afternoon" MC shook his shoulder gently

Stirring up, vincent woke up

"Oh..good afternoon MC. Thats strange, usually you would yell at everyone to wake them up."

Being fully awake, he noticed that her cheeks were tinted red

"Whats wrong MC? You seem rather flushed" vincent asked softly

"The painting.. it's beautiful." MC said, smiling shyly

Realizing his painting was exposed in his room, he blushed into a deep shade of red.

He wasn't mentally ready for anyone ESPECIALLY her to see it

It went silent for a moment and they both avoided eye contact

Not being able to take any more of the awkward air, MC went back into character

She started giggling

"W-what are you embarrased for vincent?" MC said surpressing a laugh

"You tell me MC." Vincent said with a chuckle finally melting away from the awkward situation

Eventually they were both laughing full of joy, even everyone was wondering what was going on in vincent's room

Long story short, they are the inseperable ball of joy 😌

Theodorus

He finds it SO iritating but he can't bring himself to hate her

Despite being so annoying she still had that angelic aura that reminded him of vincent

He already finds the mansion's residents irritating (except vincent ofc) and they arent even as energetic as MC

Wont admit that he adores her at the same time

"HONDJE! For the last time, shut up!" Theodorus shouted, his head poking out of his bedroom door

He was trying to have his afternoon nap after a long day of wheeling and dealing some art.

"Dancing and singing is good for the mind and body! Would you like to join theo?" MC said ignoring his harsh tone

Looking at her with annoyance painted on his face, he glared at her then slammed his bedroom door shut

"Guess he doesn't.." MC said to herself, continuing to sing and dance around

A few hours after that theo payed vincent a visit in his room

He wanted to ask him for advice on how to deal with how loud and energetic MC is

He would have asked arthur but he would most likely give him advice on how to get into her pants

"Come in, what's bothering you?" Vincent invited him, noticing the conflicted look his brother had

Theo sighed folding his arms

"Broer, how do i get hondje to shut up? I keep yelling at her but she never stops" Theo asked, irritation clear in his voice

"Don't call her that! She's a very sweet person" Vincent scolded

"S-sorry broer.." theo appologized looking like a sad puppy

Vincent gestured theo to take a seat next to him

"Well, i understand where you are coming from. She is very energetic indeed." Vincent said

"So..how do i stop her from driving me crazy?" Theo asked

"You say you would yell at her to be quiet right? How about.. you try talking to her VERY nicely" vincent said, emphasizing the word "very"

Theo looked at his brother, confused

"Broer.. are you sure?" Theo asked

"Yes! She is someone you have to speak kindly to for her to listen. Trust your big brother!" Vincent said cheerfully

Vincent ended up teaching theo how to speak to MC the rest of the night

As expected, the next day MC was singing loudly once again

Theo was going to go shout at her but he remembered what his brother said

He gulped and exited his bedroom approaching her

MC who was singing and dancing stopped in her tracks when she noticed a figure standing behind her

She turned around greeted with theo who had a stiff expression

"Good day to you theo! How can i help you?" MC asked cheerfully

"I.. uh hond- i mean MC. C-could you please lower your voice p..please? I am- i'm trying to rest. I would v-very much appreciate y-your coopera..tion." Theo said stuttering allover the place while fidgetting

He wasn't used to being nice to people

It went silent for a bit

"Oh my! How strange, you aren't yelling at me! My appology theo, i didn't know i put you in such distress!" MC said with a guilty expression

Theo was blown away by her response as it just sounded way out of character, making him feel guilty

"O-oh! Don't worry, i appologize for always yelling at you." Theo said flailling his hands all over the place.

MC looked at him and started laughing softly

"O-oi! What are you laughing at hondje!" Theo exclaimed, his face red with embbarasment

Secretly, he felt refreshed after hearing MC laugh again

"Ahaha! My appologies, you just looked and sounded very adorable! It's..ahaha.. very unlike you theo!" MC said, laughing

Theo's brain stopped working, i mean did MC rly just call him adorable

"Whatever! Im going back to my room!" theo stomped away, face still red

"Alright, alright! Have a nice rest! MC said still giggling

Theo slammed his door shut and slumped down against the door

"Maybe.. hondje isn't that bad at all..." theo said to himself

ISAAC

Poor boy will have a mental breakdance

ESPECIALLY when hes reading or doing some cool kid stuff //p h y s i c s

Atleast she doesn't tag along with arthur and dazai...

He knows that she is a kind soul, just has too much energy >:(

He doesnt hate her of course! He just wish she would tone it down :(

Isaac was in the library reading a book when MC started humming while she sweeped the floor

The humming slowly became a string of "lalala" and soon enough she was singing

"Goodness me, MC! This isn't the first time you have distracted my concentration.." isaac said as he burried his face into the book he was reading

Considering how soft isaac's voice was generally, MC did not hear him.

Having enough of it, He shut his book close aggresively and proceeded to walk out the door, slamming the door

The sound of the door slamming alerted MC causing her to jump slightly

"That was really loud..where did isaac go?" MC asked to herself

That was when she heard the door open, revealing leonardo

"Hello leonardo! By any chance, did you come across isaac? He suddenly left and i dont know why..." MC said

Leonardo lit up a cigarrilo and spoke

"Ah yeah, by the looks of it.. you might have upsetted him by accident, cara mia. I saw him stomping through the hallway with a sour look on his face" leonardo said calmly, inhaling his cigarrilo

"W-wait what? I..upsetted him?" MC asked in disbelieve

Leonardo noticed the unsettled look on her face

"Calm down cara mia, here take a seat" leonardo said as he gestured her to take a seat in front of him

MC sat down with a conflicted look on her face

"Heres the thing cara mia- you are a very bright soul and isaac..he is a quiet kid. He finds loud noises distressing especially when he is focussing on something. In this case.. i assume you were singing loudly around him?"

This realization hit MC like a truck

"Oh no! I never meant to make him feel uncomfortable.." MC said sadly

"I need to make it up to him...but how?" Mc continued

Leonardo leaned back to his chair

"Well, as you know, isaac has a monstrous appetite. It will be his meal time in a bit. Maybe you could bring his meal to him and talk things out with him

MC's once gloomy face lit back up

"Thats a great idea! Thankyou very much leonardo!" MC said as she stood up, hurrying out of the library

When MC arrived in the kitchen, he was greeted by sebastian who was plating up some food and rouge.

"Good afternoon sebastian! Is that for isaac?" MC asked

"Indeed, why?" Sebastian asked curiously

"I will take it up to him, since i also have something to discuss with him" MC reasoned

Sebastian stared at her for a bit

"Very well." He said

As soon as sebastian finished plating things up, MC took the tray and headed to isaac's room

She took a deep breath and knocked his door

"Come in." He said calmly

MC went in and placed the tray next to him

Isaac looked up which then his face twisted into discomfort

"Oh..thankyou" he said simply

"Im sorry.." MC said sadly

Isaac's expression showed confussion

"Huh? Why are you apologizing?" He questioned

"You left earlier, because i was bothering you right?" MC questioned back

Isaacs heart melted a bit. He felt like he did something mean considering how he saddened someone who he thought would be the last person in the world to be sad

"Oh! Oh..that.." isaac exclaimed not knowing how to respond to her question

"I really am sorry. I have always been a loud and active person that sometimes i forget about the people around me. I just fall deep into my own world once i do something..." MC explained

Somehow isaac could relate to her words. He knows how it feels to be so engulfed in what you are doing that you just forget about everything else

Maybe her peronality is like his deep interest with physics..

"Dont worry about it... i kind of understand what you mean..im sorry for storming out like that" isaac said, guilt in his voice

It went awkwardly silent for a bit

"Oh! I have an idea! What if... you shout out "gravity" whenever im being too loud around you? Im 100% sure that will alert me!" MC suggested cheerfully

"P-pardon?" Isaac asked unsure if he heard her right

"I guess that was an awfull idea..." MC said as her expression dropped once again

Isaac felt really bad when he saw her sad expression

"N-no! I.. i will think about it.." isaac mumbled, which MC heard

"Really?! Thats great!" MC exclaimed

"So...are we on good terms now?" MC continued

"I suppose you could say so.." isaac said shyly

"Good, good! I will head out now, give me a shout if you need anything" MC said as she left the room

Since then MC and isaac had formed some sort of frienship. Leonardo was glad to see that isaac was finally speaking up, guess its thanks to MC that a tiny portion of her personality slightly rubbed onto him

The day came when MC was being too loud

This time, isaac was playing chess with arthur as dazai watched them

Just like always MC started singing loudly

Isaac took a sharp inhale

"GRAVITYYY" isaac shouted on top of his lung scaring arthur and dazai at the point they probably ascended to a different dimension

"Oh! Sorry isaac!" MC said

"Bloody hell, isaac! I know you came up with the concept of gravity, but what the on earth was that for?!" Arthur said with a hand on his chest that was beating fast

" i think i pooped myself" dazai said as he hurried out of the room holding his butt with his hands.

Isaac stayed quiet, not answering his question

"Back to the game please" isaac said calmly

Arthur just sighed still wondering what all of that was

[crowtrinkets]

Your Weary Widow Marches

A Gender Neutral MCxFelix fic in which our dear barista educates their teacher and shows him some music from their home.

I’ve never really written fanfiction before but I thought Id give it a shot. The formatting looks weird on my end so if it looks weird after posting I apologize I couldn’t figure it out. Hope you enjoy!

—-

The crackling fire and pages being turned were the only sounds heard for the past few hours. Felix and I sat on either side of a couch placed in Anisa’s office silently reading our respective books. I’ve been in Astraea for nearly a week and had I known that Felix’s teaching method would be done via reading books the size of an encyclopedia I probably would have chosen Sage or Anisa instead... probably

I glance up at Felix, he’s sitting with legs crossed slouching on the arm rest of the couch, glasses on and enthralled in his book. I'm leaning with my back against the arm rest facing Felix, peering at him from behind my knees. I watch as his eyes scan the pages, partially hiding behind my book so he doesn’t notice me stare. I rub my eyes, dry from the endless reading of Astraean history. I know plenty of history and lore from this world thanks to countless hours of playing Last Legacy and stalking forums, but I don’t think I could’ve convinced Felix of that without having to explain what video games are let alone the internet. He thought if I were to learn magic I should at least know part of its history and it’s contribution to their society. 

Despite spending some time with Felix I'm still amazed at the attention span he has for reading. I scan the room trying not to move too much lest I be scolded by the warden. I glance over at the high back chair across the room. The one Anisa sat me in after my jaunt through Felix’s portal and painfully onto Anisa's desk. My mind begins to wander. 

I’ve only been here a short time but I feel like I’ve adjusted well. I wonder what's happening on Earth. Does time pass the same at home like how it does in this realm? World? Alternate universe? I still don’t exactly know how to explain my predicament. Has anyone noticed I'm gone yet? I wonder if I’m on the missing persons list, someone at work will have noticed I didn’t show up for my shifts. I cringe slightly at that last thought, my open book now resting on my chest. Ah damn it, I’m definitely fired aren’t I. How am I gonna pay my bills.... and my home, I miss my bed....my plants. SHIT MY PLANTS. I bring my hand to my face and cringe, my beloved house plants they’re going to wither away in my absence. Fate is such a cruel mistress.

“Bored of reading are we?” I slightly jump at Felix’s comment. I bring my hand down and look at him. Staring at me through his glasses a smirk on his lips. I flush slightly and close my book.

“No I just, got to thinking about Earth, and my life, I guess I’m just a little home sick,” I mumble out those last words. I want to be honest with Felix but I don’t want him beating himself up for my situation. I mean yes he is the reason I’m stuck here but I don't hate him for it. Felix frowns and closes his own book.

“Ah... I am sorry about that, I-“ I sit up interrupting him.

“No no no, I'm not mad at you, I’m actually quite enjoying my time here. I mean I don’t have to make drinks for annoying customers everyday here,” I force a laugh but it comes out awkwardly. Felix gives me a quizzical look. I then realize, with the amount of times he calls “dear barista” I just assumed he knew what it meant. “Yknow, my job? A barista?” Felix flushes and avoids looking at me.

“I must admit.. I do not actually know what that is,” I cant help but chuckle, the great necromancer Felix, is embarrassed to not know something.

“Well my dear teacher," I emphasize the word teacher mimicking the way he calls me, "allow me to educate you on some Earth information,” I sit cross legged and scoot closer to him book in my lap. Felix adjusts to face me properly and removes his glasses. I clear my throat and smile at him. “My part time occupation of being a Barista, requires me to make drinks for customers and sell them, more often I make coffee but sometimes people order tea. We sell pastries as well,” Felix gives me yet another confused look.

“All you do is prepare drinks and flakey confectioneries?” I nod in response with a smile, I can only imagine what he assumed a Barista was. Felix chuckles and runs a hand through his hair, “All this time I thought it was something more complicated, you described your customers as being annoying? I am assuming you do not like this particular job?”

“Well, I don't hate it but the customers can get a little rude and for the dumbest reasons too. One time a woman threw her drink at me claiming I added 3 1/2 shots of espresso and rather than 3,” I laugh to my self looking back at the memory, chuckling more when I see Felix’s horrified expression.

“A woman... threw a drink at you? Because she deemed it made incorrectly? I did not except Earth customs to be so. . . Barbaric,” Felix looks at me astonished and confused but all I can do is laugh. “And why are you laughing? Are you alright did she hit your head when she assaulted you with a beverage?” Felix is now standing while I clutch my stomach in pain, the combination of the story and Felix’s confusion is too much to bare. After a minute I manage to calm down enough to speak.

“No no, she did not hit me in the head, I’m just laughing cause it was funny, well at the time it wasn’t but my co workers took pictures and I looked ridiculous. I can laugh about it now,” I wipe a stray tear from my eye as I recount the experience. Thank god her drink was iced. 

“Picture?” Felix chimes in. I try to think of how to explain how photography works but I come up with an idea.

“Why don’t I show you?” I stand handing Felix my book and I jaunt over to Anisa’s desk. I let her peruse my backpack because she seemed so interested in my “Earthly items” as she called them. I walked back over and sit on the floor, patting the ground next to me so Felix can join. 

“You known there is a perfectly good sofa right next to you, I don’t understand why you wish to sit on the ground like we are mere children,” but despite his protests Felix sits next to me still clutching our books. I rummage through my back tossing the other items to the side. My wallet, a flyer, a jacket, that granola bar which has definitely crumbled to pieces in its package. Until I finally find it, my phone. My first night here I instinctively tried to use it, forgetting I am now stuck in a world without wifi or cell towers. In an effort to hopefully conserve its battery I hard shut off my phone I did not think I would need it but now is an opportunity for me to educate Felix about my world rather than his and tell him a little about myself. Really I just want a reason to prolong my time from reading anymore history. I hold the power button and silently pray. Please have some battery left, please please. Felix is leaning towards me, his face inching closer to mine, I glance at him studying his expression. He looks confused, and curious at the same time, there's a slight scrunch in his brow like he’s trying to seem like he understands what I’m doing, but I know he doesn’t. In that moment his eyes meet mine, I turn my head to fully face him, a blush creeps up his face and I can feel mine begin to warm as well. “Felix-“

BING

We both jump at the sound of my phone turning on. Damn phone, well I guess I kinda asked for that. Felix sits back and clears his throat.

“Um, what, what is that?” His voice wavers slightly but I choose to ignore it to save him some dignity.

“Its my phone, on Earth nearly everyone has one of these. You can use it to communicate with other people, take pictures, look things up, and listen to music.” I begin to unlock it and open my photo album.

“You can communicate with other people? On this... this flat brick?” Felix points accusatory at my phone the scrunch in his eyebrows have intensified creating deep crevices on his forehead. I nod while I scroll through trying to find the photo. 

“Yup and take pictures, such as this one,” I turn my phone to face Felix revealing the image documenting the after affects of being assaulted with coffee. He leans over to get a better look. In the picture I'm standing by the cash register, soaked through my clothes in an extra large coffee's amount of liquid. The brown liquid stains my apron and the parts on my white shirt poking out from underneath. There's smeared whipped cream going across my shoulder up my neck and partially along my jaw, and the scowl on my face could kill a man. The instant I show the picture to Felix he plants a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. He turns away in an attempt to hide his amusement but I know he wont last.

“Im-I must apologize I did not mean to laugh but, but the look on your face is hilarious,” Felix faces me again trying to hide his smile with the back of his hand. I start to chuckle, I turn the phone back to me and swipe to the next picture. Its a similar picture but in this one my co worker put whipped cream on top of my head, something about it “completing the look”. When I show this picture to Felix it breaks his terrible attempt of remaining poise. He laughs loudly, and it’s extremely contagious. I laugh along with him reminiscing in his beautiful laugh. Every once in a while we calm down until we look at the picture and we start up again. After a bit I’m able to calm down enough to speak.

“Don’t feel bad for laughing, at the time I was pissed but my co workers cheered me up and now I have these memories to laugh at,” I start to look through my album again as Felix calms down from his laughing high. I find more pictures to show him. Some are of me at work with my co workers, one picture of me laughing as I held a dog that jumped through the drive through window. I show him more pictures, some are of earth sunsets which Felix claimed to look like they belong in a painting. I also show him a picture of some Geese I saw while on a walk, and then a picture of said Geese chasing me. This gets Felix to laugh again but not as hard.

“You lead an interesting life on Earth, it seems similar to Sage you are also prone to provoke others into attacking you,” I roll my eyes at Felix’s joke and give him a friendly shoulder bump. Its at this moment I realize how close he’s sitting. Our books set aside and Felix is leaning on one arm politely looking over my shoulder at my phone, I can tell he doesn’t really understand how it works but it seems he’s enjoying this moment to much to ask. In an attempt to keep the sweet moment I change the subject.

“Hey do you want to listen to some Earth music?” With a nod from Felix I close the app and instinctively go to press my streaming app. Damn no Internet. I think for a second and remember I have some music I bought in times before streaming apps existed. I find the app and open it. Dear god my taste was cringey. I scroll through the songs until I stumble across a less than embarrassing song. “This is a classic where I come from, everyone has heard this song at least once. I lay back onto the floor so I can properly listen to the music. Felix looks at me and awkwardly lays down as well, I click on the song allowing it to play.

Just a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Just a city boy

Born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Felix gives me a puzzled look but I just shrug and look up at the ceiling. I close my eyes and take in the song as it plays. If I concentrate hard enough I can imagine my self back on Earth. Sitting in my room listening to 80s music while I do laundry or cook my dinner. I start to feel nostalgic again but I try not let my emotions take over. The song ends and I pause it before it plays the next song. I roll onto my side and rest my head on my hand.

“So what’d you think?” I beam at Felix, I genuinely want to know what he thinks of Earth music, and more specifically a song that I am quite fond of. Felix is laying flat on his back, he ankles crossed and his hands laying on his chest. He looks nervous to be laying on the ground next to me but has made no attempts to leave.

“I thought it was... interesting to say the least. It had quite a captivating story although I was confused when the subject changed multiple times, and what exactly are they trying to “not stop believing” in” Felix does air quotes and seems genuinely enthralled in the “story” of the song. I smile and start to look for another song. 

“How about you choose the next one?” I tilt my phone towards him. Felix sits up at my question.

“I dont feel very well versed in Earth music though,” He mumbles. I shrug at his comment.

“Just pick one with a name that sounds interesting to you” I show Felix how to use the phone and hand it to him laying back down. I peek at Felix, he’s holding the phone in one hand and is scrolling with the other, he’s holding it like an old man. I watch his face, he’s thoroughly looking at every single song title and determining whether they are interesting or not. I find it... cute, his concentration face is cute. Oh if he caught me staring I know he would become a blubbering blushing mess, I mean I would be too. I close my eyes again as I wait for him to pick. 

“This one seems interesting,” I hum in response, but when Felix says the title out-loud and panic seizes through me. I sit up and shout WAIT but I'm too late. He already pressed it. And then I hear it.

That dreaded, infamous G note. Felix turns towards me surprised and hastily hands the phone to me, I pause it before another note can play.

“Hells MC what will that song make my head explode or something??? You nearly made my heart stop.” Felix takes a deep breath with his hand on his chest.

“I'm sorry, that song its kind of embarrassing actually,” I can feel myself flushing, I look away in embarrassment at the fact that I had that song downloaded and the fact that I nearly sent my teacher into cardiac arrest.

“Embarrassing how?” Felix looks at me puzzled. I open my mouth to speak but then stop. Hold on a second, Felix doesn’t know this band, let alone what an emo phase is. Well judging by his raven skull necklace he does but not in the way I do. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if we listened to it. I do still like their music. But god did it HAVE to be this song. I clear my throat and look back at Felix.

“Nothing, it’s nothing I was just being dramatic,” I stifle a laugh. “We can listen to it, I actually quite like this band,” Felix nods and turns to face my direction, were now both sitting cross legged and I press play on the song. I smile a little as the song plays and close my eyes again. I cant even remember the last time I listened to this song. My mind begins to wander again, to my younger years when I first heard this song.

 I was such a try hard back then, wanting so badly to “be different” but also to mend the emotional pain I was going through, and this band really helped me through it. This song is a little more narrative than the last one so I hope Felix would like it. I can’t believe I freaked out like I did god he must think I'm crazy, or maybe that lady really did hit my head when she threw that drink at me. As the song plays I silently hum to it, quiet enough so that Felix might not hear. I drink in the lyrics and instruments and it feels like I'm listening to it again for the first time. 

The song ends and I open my eyes again to pause the music before it plays another one.

“So what did you think of tha-“ before I can continue I'm stopped by the sight of Felix’s face. His eyes are misty and his nose is colored pink. Was he... was he crying? Felix looks at me and his eyes go wide. He quickly turns away and rubs at his face.

“There-there is quite a lot of dust on this floor, honestly you would think Annie would have any sense to clean in here every once in a while,” I cant help but smile, wow he really is a goth child. 

“It’s ok Felix, this song makes me cry sometimes too,” Felix side eyes me and sniffles.

“I-I was not crying, yes I admit the song was... moving to say the least…. But, but I will not be mocked by you for my emotions,” Felix turns to face me again refusing to meet my eyes, his voice turning accusatory. I scoot closer to Felix and place a hand on his shoulder. He looks at me astonished and slightly flushed, either from the contact or the crying, I mean dust, I will never know.

“Congratulations” I say with a smile. Felix’s puzzled look twists even more.

“What ever are you talking about,” Felix questions.

“You’re emo now,”

[kenjacku]

Thank you soo much @holyshit and @corneliaswalls was for tagging me!! 🌺🌻💝

this got kinda long especially since im not able to arrange the images side by side idk why :/

✨ screenshots

my lockscreen is: a certain titan I'm particularly fond of from AoT 🙃

the last song i listened to: cmbyn - lil nas x

last photo saved: lhh <3

picrew: its something that i created looong ago when i just used to lurk on tumblr and it kinda looks like me (but not exactly, I don't look that nice lol) soo hey!

🎶 four songs i’ve heard today:

call of silence - hirayuki sawano

fall in line - christina aguilera ft demi lovato

house of memories - panic at the disco

asphyxia - co shu nie

🎬 seven comfort films:

this is gonna be a mix of films, anime and tv shows hehe

attack on titan/aot (my favourite anime💖)

friends

freaky friday

titanic (i’ve literally lost count of the number of times i’ve watched it lmao)

inuyasha (the first anime i watched, when i was 7, so it holds a special place in my heart)

you've got mail

downton abbey

🖐 get to know me:

name/nickname: teresa, i dont have any nicknames, but my mom’s brother occasionally calls me tessa so maybe that counts?

star sign: virgo

favourite bands/groups: OneDee, f+tm, imagine dragons

favourite solo artists: zayn, hirayuki sawano (he’s the composer for the aot soundtrack)

song stuck in my head: montero - cmbyn heh

last movie: i think it was murder on the orient express

last show: schitt’s creek (its amaaaazing), but if we’re talking anime, then death note (it was alright)

when did i create this blog: i have no idea lol

what do i post about: larry, 1d, anime and whatever else catches my fancy

last thing i googled: mexico ( to check which continent it is in 🙈)

other blogs: nope, dont have the energy for it

do i get asks: nah, but im glad since i’ve seen the hate anons going around and they’re not very nice lol

why did i choose this url: well, my first one was 2youngghosts which was a combination of too young (i loveee this song so much) and 2 ghosts, now its gettingdizzyoh which is a lyric from a certain song that harry hasnt released yet and i’ll never forgive him for this atrocity (also i am feeling very confused about my life rn so it reflects my state of mind too )

following: 🙃

followers: 🙃

average hours of sleep: 4-6/7 

lucky number: idk? 9? since my birthday is 9/9

instruments: i can play the flute (the bamboo one) somewhat decently, but im out of practice now soo.. buuut i am a HUGE sucker for anyone who plays the piano or violin, thats a sureshot way to my heart lmao, and i want to learn to play them too!

what am i wearing: an oversized yellow t shirt ( i got it at an intersate math quiz i participated in and its probably my most worn and favorite item of clothing and my mom hates it lol) and navy blue boxers

dream job: a job where i’m paid to eat food (especially desserts), and i wont get sick or gain weight 

dream trip: JAPANNNN

favourite food: chocolate! (actually anything that’s sweet i have GIGANTIC sweet tooth, i once ate an entire coffee cake by myself lol) buut also biriyani *muah*, aand the mutton kheema which we get at a local restaurant nearby which i LOVE (godd my mouth is already watering its been so long since i last had it) and i will go on and on so im gonna stop hehe

nationality: indian

favorite song: paper houses (niall) or sweater weather(the nbhd) or insomnia (zayn)

three fictional universes you’d like to live in: umm harry potter? thats the only one i can think of rn

Soo this was fun! I'm tagging @trulymadlycrazy, @velouie, @stardust-and-swords, @always28lou and anyone else who wants to do it! also, ignore if you don't wanna, ik it's kinda long

[flowerslightning]

(Part 2) Cloud Strife and his Mental Illness

a.k.a Psychiatric Disorder

| 1. Memory | ⇦ Click if u havent read it yet

2. Hallucinations, Illusions and Delusions

Since these three things relate well with Cloud's troubled memories, I'll be talking about them first before jumping to his Confused Personality

This post will bore u a bit or maybe a lot 😂 it depends. If ure interested with psychiatric stuff, u'll find this enjoyable as much as i do

Disclaimer : I'm 21 and still a tiny meany student. During my intern at Psychiatric Department, I learned and witnessed psychiatric problems from real life patients. And since Cloud (my fav FF character) has psychiatric issues, I'll be sharing some of my knowledge and interpretation of Cloud's character. Im not diagnosing him, rather i'm giving my own opinion about his status

@nibelheiim created a post about dissociation, she explained about hallucination, PTSD and more. Come and check her out! Her words were more direct and easier to understand. She explained about Psychological matter and she's a real psychology student too!

While my explanation will be more focusing on Psychiatric Topic and words used will be more complicated (with grammar errors). My facts will be based on ICD 10 and DSM-IV

A lot of people were confused with these three terms - Hallucination Illusion Delusion - These terms associated with abnormalities of perception. It is important to understand that this abnormality holds two keys; ● 1. Perception is the process of becoming aware of what is presented through the sense organs. ● 2. Imagery is an experience originating within the mind that usually lacks the sense of reality that is part of perception.

Abnormalities of perceptions have 4 theme, but I'll be focusing on two major types that relate with Cloud: (i) Hallucinations ; (ii) Illusions. Some cases, perception can be normal in intensity and quality but has a changed meaning for the person who experiences it - it is called as Delusional Perception. It is not an abnormal of perceptions, rather it is a disorder of a person's thinking.

Try guessing, how many from these terms does Cloud has?

1. Hallucinations

- A perception experienced in the absence of external stimulus to the corresponding sense organ. Eg - patient hears a voice when no one is speaking within a hearing distance or patient sees something approaching him when visually no one is there. There are 2 qualities to determine a hallucination: ●it is experienced as a true perception●it seems to come from outside of the head●

The above gif, where Sephiroth suddenly appear again before Cloud's eyes even able to touch Aerith's shoulder, it illustrate perfectly the 'Visual Hallucination'. No one can see Sephiroth, other than Cloud himself.

Cloud [Remake] kinda had anxiety when he stared at the fire and later he saw Sephiroth surrounded with flames, then poof, that silver guy disappeared along with the images of fire. He said he was hallucinating stuff after the first bombing mission. Idk how Sephiroth could create fake images of fire around him, either Cloud was really hallucinating or it was really Sephiroth that came to see him. But, this is what we call as 'Visual and Auditory Hallucinations'. Cloud SAW Sephiroth and HEARD him talking when no one else did. I can also add in 'Tactile Hallucination' because he probably felt the burning sensation on his skin from the flame around him that caused him to feel hot and sweating, or probably it was his anxiety that caused him sweating upon meeting Sephiroth with the flashback of his burning hometown

Hallucinations can occur in all sensory modalities; visual, olfactory, auditory etc. In the Remake, the Whispers could only be seen by certain people. To those who couldnt see it, they would be puzzled what was happening to u, and would've thought that u were hallucinating something, like in the case of Aerith.

In Cloud's case, perhaps Cloud [In OG] had auditory hallucination due to his severe case of Mako Addiction. But then, that wasnt exactly a hallucination though, cuz the thing he said "'Coming.. They're coming" was actually true. A monster fell from the sky.

Other 'hallucinations' that Cloud had was the images of Sephiroth that appeared in certain headache. Cloud may claimed it was his hallucinations, but i've read it somewhere that says it was really Sephiroth appeared before his eyes. Sephiroth was messing with Cloud's mind, trying to break his mental in order to control him. However, IF IT WASNT SEPHIROTH that came, Cloud's 'hallucination' would be known as a mental disorder that may lead to severe case - eg Schizophrenia.

2. Illusions

An illusion is a misperception of an external stimulus. It often occur in several circumstances: (i)level of sensory stimulation reduced (ii)attention is not focused on the sensory modality (iii)level of consciousness reduced (iv)being in a state of intense emotion- fear.

Does Cloud has it? Urm, maybe? Well, it can be proven when he saw his 'noisy neighbour next door' as Sephiroth. As stated above, illusions occur in 4 conditions, and Cloud was in number (i) and (iv). When Tifa yelled him to stop, Cloud came back to reality and got really confused when the 'Sephiroth' that attacked him was actually a sick guy. We can also add in 'Hallucinations of Deep sensation' in this scenario bcause Cloud experienced the feelings of being pushed down by 'Sephiroth'.

However, we all know that 'Sephiroth' was real at that moment. For Cloud, he thought it was an illusion, but for us the audience, it was a real thing.

If u want a better explanation and example, try watching Joker the movie. The main theme of the movie was 'mental illness'. There are lots of scenes that shows different type of hallucinations, illusions and also personality disorder.

3. Delusions

a.k.a fixed false belief. A belief that is held firmly despite evidence contrary. A delusion is nearly always a false belief but not always so. There are around 11 types of delusions according to the book. Half of it may suggest Shcizophrenia. Schizophrenia is certainly not in Cloud's case. I've studied one by one the type of delusions and none of them match with Cloud FF7.

I will surely give anyone a good punch in the face if they dare to say Cloud suffers from Schizophrenia. I've met with bunch of patients having it, and the way they see this world is totally different from us.

In some other cases, eg a spiritualist convince a person to believe in his spiritualism and he present with contrary evidence to the non-believer. This non-delusional belief is called 'overvalued ideas'

Overvalued ideas is an isolated , preoccupying and strongly held belief that dominates a person's life and may affect his action. One of the easiest example i can come up with; a friend who had skin cancer may be convinced to her roomate that cancer is contagious, and her roomate suspects any abnormal skin conditions she has is an evidence to show she too, may have developed the same cancer, when the truth is, she's just completely fine.

It is very hard to distinguish between a delusion and overvalued ideas.

I had a patient, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He looked like an ordinary man, but when he talked, it sounded so unreal. He said he had jumped off from 10th floor several times and didnt get a scratch from it. He believed he wont die bcause he had gained super power. He even convinced me to try his 'so-called-secret technique- on how to survive a jump. By doing that often, I will have a superpower like him - a strong physical body. Up until now, I still dont know if he was being deluded with his thought or he was overvalued his idea, bcause from his psychiatric record, he did try to jump off from the second floor of his apartment's balcony a few times.

So, Im not really sure of myself did Cloud [FF7] really had delusion or not. Well, he believed he made it to SOLDIER bcause he had mako eyes. But was it something we called as delusion or was he just overvaluing his idea? He didnt know the truth and his memory messed up. No one could explain to him why he had Mako eyes, except Prof Hojo and Zack who knew the truth

Besides, after Tifa helped with his memory, Cloud accepted the fact he wasnt in SOLDIER. For patient who deluded with their own thoughts, they hardly could believe what people told him.

However, surely Cloud [in AC] had delusions of guilt and worthlessness due to the fact that he believed he had done something shameful and sinful - the main trigger of this theme was, he got infected with Geostigma while he was searching a cure for Denzel. Cloud got depressed with the loss of Aerith and the memory of Zack death had returned, but I think he was recovering very well in that two years time skip. The moment he got Geostigma, he became deluded he was worthless and his depression kicked in again.

Hallucinations and Illusions are normal to be experienced by healthy people, but it wont be if u encounter too many hallucinations & illusions in 2 weeks time. Believe it or not, a lot of people around us are actually mentally ill bcause some of them may have excessive certain delusions, such as delusions of jealousy, grandiose delusions, nihilistic, paranoid etc. Although 'it is consider as normal' in a few circumstance, a few cases need to refer to psychologist and in severer cases, must refer to psychiatrist. If u follow Dr Phil's show, u'll see a bunch of patients have different kind of crazy delusions.

Overall from my statement above, I would conclude that since Sephiroth always appear before Cloud's eyes, this resulting Cloud to think he has both Hallucination and Illusion, when in fact, he's just a normal guy with amnesia and personality confusion. Cloud doesnt have Delusion like how many fans said, neither he has an overvalued idea, even with the evidence of Mako eyes supporting his reasoning + he's a great fighter. I will have to say that perhaps it is his brain defence mechanism that tricks his mind to believe he is a Soldier.

If only Sephiroth stop disturbing Cloud's life, it will be a lot faster to fix Cloud. Tifa alone will be the main strength to get Cloud back to normal. Ah, but this is the beauty of the game. Life wont be exciting without the presence of a beautiful villain and a love triangle (Tifa-Cloud-Sephiroth). Lol Technically I see them trying to fight for Cloud's mental health. Tifa wants to help Cloud with his mental status while Sephiroth is trying to destroy it. Lolololol

My crack theory : Sephiroth says he's going to take Cloud's most precious thing, and he ends up choosing to kill Aerith, but ofc there's another reason why Aerith got killed. But if Sephiroth kills Tifa first, I think he can take over Cloud's mind faster, because then, no one will be holding Cloud back. Honestly no one can ever will, not even Aerith. So does that mean Sephiroth doesnt know about Cloud's deepest secret or is Cloud just good at hiding his weakness?

I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT POST LATER because I've reached tumblr limit images agaiiin. The next part will be focusing about his personality - Personality Disorder

If there is any part that I've mistaken, pls correct me. I'm sorry for my english. English is not my native language, so there are plenty of grammar errors.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Baby Love - Part 8

A/N- Wow its been a minute since i’ve updated this one! 💕

"Are you okay?" I heard Chris ask as i sat in the car staring at the new scan printout we were given.

"Im great" i smiled brushing my finger over the image "its just.... you can actually see that its a baby now! Before it didn't really look like anything"

"Starting to feel more real now huh?"

"Definitely! You wanna FaceTime your mom? You know shes dying to find out if shes getting a new granddaughter or grandson"

"You don't mind? We can wait if you want, just keep it between us....."

"I don't mind" i shrugged "you choose babe, its your family"

"I love you" he smiled leaning over to kiss me "ok, lets do this".

Chris pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled his mom, it only rang twice before Lisa appeared on the screen.

"Hey you two" she said happily "so?? come on...tell me"

"Wow straight to the point huh?" Chris laughed "okay, okay. Its a....."

"WAIT!!! DONT YOU DARE SAY A WORD UNTIL IM THERE!!!" We suddenly heard Scott yell in the background making us all burst out laughing, we saw him run in through the door behind Lisa and then he was squeezing in next to his mom to see us on the screen.

"Okay go, I'm here!"

"Hey Scott" i smiled giving him a wave.

"Hey mama, your looking good!"

"Thank you"

"Okay come on! I cant wait any longer!" Lisa interrupted practically bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Its a girl!" Chris announced loudly and proudly.

"Oh sweetheart thats amazing! And everything looks okay?...."

"Yep everything is good, doc said everything is as it should be"

"Thats great, i know its a scary time going through your first pregnancy,  if you ever need to talk to anyone im here for you"

"Thank you Lisa that means alot"

"Im here for you too! I dont know anything about pregnancy but anything else im your guy!" Scott added making us all chuckle.

"I'll keep that in mind Scotty"

"Okay guys well I'm going to get these two home, we just wanted to tell you the news"

"Okay sweetheart, you both take care i love you".

The call ended after the 'I love yous' we're exchanged and Chris drove us home, 10 minutes after getting home i was fast asleep on the sofa cuddled up to Chris. I guess it was too much excitement for one day!

It was the day before the Premiere and i still didn't have anything to wear. So here i was trying on dresses with the help from none other than Scott Evans!

He had been on the phone with Chris last night when he heard i still hadn't got a dress and insisted he take me out to find something.

"I can't believe you've left it this late Y/N!" He was moaning from outside the changing room.

"I know im sorry! But what was the point of getting it weeks before hand when i know im probably not going to fit in the thing when it comes to actually wearing it"

"Okay fair point" he chuckled as i turned around getting a good look in the mirror before i showed him.

"Okay, i think this one is good, its comfortable and it kinda hides the bump with the ruffles..."

"Okay well show me!"

I opened the curtain and he looked wide eyed at me "wow"

"Is that a good wow or...."

"Definitely good, only it doesn't hide the bump as much as you think" 

"In a way i cant wait for it be public knowledge, i don't want to have to worry about what I'm wearing when i leave the house you know?" I shrugged turning back to face the mirror and running my hand over my growing baby bump "I'm not trying to hide the fact I'm pregnant its just the hate i know I'm gonna get. But then i guess if I'm with your brother i should just learn to deal with it. Its never gonna go away is it? There's always going to be someone putting me down about something"

"There will be, but lets face it their just jealous. And you wont ever need to meet these people.... don't even read what they say sweetheart. You are an amazing woman and you make my brother so happy its actually quite sickening"

"Thanks Scotty" i laughed shaking my head at him "so this dress?"

"That dress!".

All of Chris's family met round at our place before the premiere where family photo's were being taken. It was nice to have photo's that were just ours and not splashed online for everyone to see. After Lisa said she had enough we all headed out to the cars, I was a nervous wreck from the second the car started moving. My stomach was in knots and i felt like i was going to be sick any second, without knowing i moved my hand and placed it protectively over my growing bump. Suddenly Chris's hand took hold of my free hand that was gripping the leather seat.

"You okay sweetheart?"

"Im just freaking out" i replied shaking my head with a tight smile.

"You'll be fine, i'll be with you every step of the way.... well i'll probably have to step away to give some interviews but Scott will stick by you, you'll never be on your own"

"I'll be okay once I'm there its just the thought of it.... everyones gonna know about the baby"

"And i cant wait for the world to know how lucky i am" Chris beamed leaning forward and carefully kissing me so he didn't mess up my lipstick.

The car finally rolled to a stop and already the crowd outside was going wild.

"You ready?" Chris asked turning to me smiling.

"Are you?"

"Not gonna lie my anxiety is through the fucking roof right now... but yeah. Lets do this" he took a deep breath and threw open the car door getting out quick before he could change his mind. I watched him turn and give a quick wave at the waiting crowd before holding his hand out to me. I took his hand and held on tight as i got out the car, the camera flashes already going crazy all around us. Chris wrapped his arm around my waist and lead me down the purple carpet keeping me close to his side, Scott followed close behind with his family keeping a close eye on us.

Once inside i felt myself start to relax a little knowing this part was just the cast interviews, i stepped off to the side with Scott to let Chris do his thing.

"You want some water?" Scott asked holding out a bottle of water "you need to stay hydrated"

"Thanks Scotty" i smiled accepting the water "i really wish this was alcohol right now" i said quietly to him making him laugh, i saw Chris looking over at me smiling.

"Pay attention!" I mouthed to him and pointed to the guy who was trying to talk to him and RDJ.

As soon as he had finished with that interview he made a be-line for me. His hands went straight for my hips pulling me closer to him.

"We're heading in now to watch the movie" he said pressing a quick kiss to my temple and taking my hand.

"So how many people have asked about us?"

"All of them, but funnily enough none have mentioned the baby"

"Huh, i thought they'd be all over that"

"Im sure someone will have said something by the end of the night".

The movie was amazing like always! I laughed and cried.... cried alot!! Damn hormones! Chris had kept everything to himself so i was still in shock after watching the movie. After the movie we all headed off for the after party, this is when i finally felt myself relax properly.

I was currently sat at a table with Scott while Chris did the rounds, i was starting to feel tired now, i wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up in bed with Chris and Dodger.

"Hey sweetheart, you remember Sebastian right?" Chris smiled down at me with Sebastian Stan! Standing beside him. I felt my cheeks flush suddenly, Sebastian had been my celebrity crush for years!!

"Hey! How are you?" Sebastian smiled before leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"Hi, I'm good thank you. How are you?"

"Im great. Its nice to see everyone again"

"I can imagine"

"Can i get you something to drink?" Sebastian offered.

"No thank you, I'm not drinking tonight I'm good with water" i smiled .

"Wait.... are you....?" Sebastian looked down at my stomach then over at Chris with wide eyes, Chris smiled and nodded proudly.

"What?!! man thats great news! Congratulations you guys" Sebastian grabbed Chris patting him on the back.

"Im so happy for you guys!"

"Thank you Sebastian thats means a lot" i smiled "lets hope everyone else is as happy for us"

"Babe its gonna be fine"

"I hope your right about that Evans".

(Photo's are for the dress not face claim, i apologise for my bad manips! 😂)

Baby love tags: @jennmurawski13 @mybabyboytony

@ms-betsy-fangirl @vampgirl1997 @ajosieface

@afuckingshituniverse @chmedic @esoltis280

@southerngracela @bethabear12

@letsdisneythings @sellulii @patzammit

@katiew1973 @princess-evans-addict

@deidrahouseofpain @siren-queen03

@shipatheart